Metro Spirit 09.05.2002

The Metropolitan Arts, Issues & Entertainment

On Stage A Guide to the Performing Arts Season

Sept. 5-11, 2002 Vol. 14, No. 5 www.metspirit.com

CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY “Georgia’s Oldest Catholic Church” Located in Downtown Augusta Corner of 8th and Telfair Streets Mass Schedule: Saturday Vigil 5pm Sunday 7:45am, 10am, 12:30pm Holy Days 12:15pm & 6:30pm Daily M-F 12:15pm Confessions: Saturday 3:30pm-4:30pm Phone: 706.722.4944 Fax: 706.722.7774 www.themostholytrinity.org

Adult Catholic Ministry

Parish Mission

The Catholic Church has not only survived, but has flourished for over 2000 years!

The Church of the Most Holy Trinity is sponsoring a 4 day Mission given by the Fathers of Mercy. The mission will begin Sunday evening on the 10th of November through Thursday evening, 14 November. Each talk will begin with Adoration and exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. The opportunity for Confessions will be provided as well as a special early afternoon talk.

It has endured the Reformation, The Crusades, The Inquisitions, Heresies schisms and scandals, and yet the enduring holiness and protection of its founder, Jesus Christ, has remained the firm foundation!

If you would like to know more about this noble Church called the Catholic Church, you are welcome to come to an information night on the 9th of September at 6:45pm in St. Francis Hall - opposite the Church of the Most Holy Trinity.

Email cww_mht@bellsouth.net or call 722.4944 for more information about adult ministry

The Fathers of Mercy, focus on challenging the parish community to make a stronger and deeper commitment to Christ and His Church.

Please call the Parish office - 722.4944 for further information.

Celebrate Music!

Augusta’s Premiere Catholic Concert Series invites you to the following events: September 22 – 4:00pm Janet Hunt plays the church’s historic 1868 Jardine pipe organ October 20 – 4:00pm Liber unUsualis, vocal trio from Boston, presents Heavenly Bodies: a concer t of Medieval music November 3 – 4:00pm The church’s 10:00 Choir sings Antonin Dvorak’s Mass in D Major within the context of a Latin Mass

December 15 – 4:00pm Advent Lessons and Carols December 24 – 11:15pm Midnight Mass: Feast of the Nativity beginning with special music at 11:15pm All concerts are Free and take place in the church.

For further information about our music ministry, please call 722.4944 or email jeh_mht@bellsouth.net

Catholic Youth Ministry 10th-12th Grade

You are now challenged to LIVE the Faith! How: come Sunday 11:30am-12:30pm for donuts & discussion. Sit back on our couches, relax and discuss the topic of the week!

Got Questions??? Bring ‘em!

Got answers or want some? Come & give & get!

Starts Sunday, September 15 … C U There!

Theology-on-Tap - for young adults Bar-Stool Philosophising at its Finest

Wednesdays in September at Metro: a Coffeehouse - 1054 Broad St. - Downtown Augusta

Happy Hour @ 7:00 - Speaker @ 8:00 Question and Answer till 9:00 Argue at the bar until close

September 4th Fr. Allan McDonald - Catholic Sexual Morality: Mission Impossible?

September 11th Faith Faces Evil: Retrospectives on September 11th

WE WELCOME YOU!

September 18th Dr. Hank Edmondson - Is God Dead?

September 25th Fr. Daniel Munn - Heaven, Hell & Purgatory

For further information regarding youth ministry, please call 722.4400 or email sg_mht@bellsouth.net

Contents DUI The Metropolitan Spirit

SEPT. 5-11, 2002

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ON THE COVER

On Stage.............................................Pull-Out Section Your Complete Guide to the Performing Arts Cover Design: Stephanie Carroll

FEATURE

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Opinion Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ..............................................................................4 Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down ..........................................4 This Modern World ........................................................4 Suburban Torture ...........................................................6 Austin Rhodes ................................................................8 Insider ...........................................................................10

Metro Beat Commission Rules: Synagogue and Bar Not Good Neighbors ............................................................11 Commission Calls Meeting With Coliseum Authority ........................................................................13 Is Augusta Closer To Capturing Continental? ............14

Cinema

Movie Listings .............................................................20 Close-Up: Jesse Bradford ...........................................23 Preview: “City By the Sea” .........................................23 Movie Clock ..................................................................24

Tara Scheyer: Different Name, Familiar Tunes..................................53

Events

8 Days a Week .............................................................46

Music

Widespread Panic Documentary To Show at Riverwalk ......................................................................51 Music By Turner ............................................................52 Tara Scheyer: Different Name, Familiar Tunes ......... 53 Nightlife ........................................................................ 54

Stuff Food: Famous Dave's ..................................................18 News of the Weird .......................................................57 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology .....................................58 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................58 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................59 Date Maker ...................................................................60 Classifieds ....................................................................62 Automotive Classifieds ................................................63

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Jennifer Hughes, Ret t McBride PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited.

Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Whine Line Thumbs Up Barbara Gordon, publisher of the African-American newspaper, The Metro Courier, should be commended for standing up to state Sen. Charles Walker. The paper’s Aug. 29 edition ran an editorial challenging voters not to vote for Walker in the November race simply because he’s black. “Some in our community feel that we should align ourselves with a black candidate despite that person’s record,” the editorial read. “Nothing could be further from the truth, and nothing could be more dangerous to the betterment of our community.”

A group of black ministers have also done an aboutface on Walker, throwing their support, instead, behind Randy Hall, who is white.

You likely won’t hear that in the city’s other AfricanAmerican newspaper, the Augusta Focus, however.

Walker owns it.

Thumbs Down The Augusta Commission appears to have botched another proposed downtown business, Underground Augusta, by not thinking ahead to the possibility of a religious establishment moving into the downtown area and daring to ask the city to enforce its own ordinance. Currently in Augusta, a bar is not allowed to locate within 100 yards of a religious establishment, so a Jewish synagogue on Broad Street has every legal right to want to prohibit Underground Augusta from moving in right next door. Is Broad Street considered an entertainment district? Sure, on the street. But there is nothing on the city books to protect downtown businesses in close proximity from running into such ordinance violations.

Business owners are up in arms against the synagogue. It’s not the synagogue’s fault. The commission created the situation. Maybe the business owners should finally band together and fight against the responsible party: The commission.

I

n the past I have felt that The Spirit’s Insider was very insightful about local politics. However, the Insider's opinion in the Aug. 22 issue was incomplete. The Insider was quick to point out how Senator Charles Walker used his money and influence to promote the Walker name to help his son, Champ. But the Insider failed to point out that Barbara Dooley not only used her husband’s name, reputation, and big GOP bucks to help her campaign, she even made political ads showing Vince in the background. In the future the Insider should be careful to show both sides or it will seem there is a racial slant here.

It’s mighty funny how you hear these commercials on the radio about “if you drive even one mile over the speed limit in a school zone, you will be given a ticket.” Well the other morning on Columbia Road in front of Columbia Middle School where the speed limit is 25 mph, a cop goes flying through. No he was not going to a call, except the call of hunger. When I caught up with him, he was at McDonald's eating a biscuit and drinking coffee. Guess the laws don’t apply to the cops.

I cannot imagine what the mayor’s election will turn into now that Bonnie Ruben has entered the fray. Exactly whom will she appeal to? I don’t understand her thinking. She must want Ed McIntyre to become mayor again.

Richmond County schools are by far the worst schools I have ever had to deal with.

I feel so sorry for the children. I will be looking to move away from Richmond County to get my kids in better schools where they will have a chance to get a better education, because they sure won’t get it in Richmond County.

Having moved back to the U.S. after seven years overseas, it’s nice to be able to vote again. We’re new to Georgia, and it’s a treat to have a chance to vote for someone whose real name is “Sonny” for governor and a convicted felon for mayor. Also, the name “Saxby Chambliss” is irresistibly Southern. Viva democracy!

W O R D S “I think it’s an amazing statement of how much it’s worth to the members of the Augusta National to continue this discrimination.”

— Martha Burk, head of the National Council of Women’s Organizations, as quoted in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, referring to the Augusta National Golf Club’s decision to jettison its corporate sponsors after Burk’s group put pressure on the club’s advertisers. Burk urged the club’s advertisers to put pressure on the Augusta National to stop excluding women from membership. Some sports industry experts have called the Augusta National’s move to cut its sponsors, unprecedented.

Today I received my Republican Party Census Questionnaire which turned out to be a request for money (why? I don’t know because they have most of the money in the world) with some general questions and a lot of hate for anyone who is not a Republican. This party loyalty is out of hand when one thinks he is superior to people with different views.

As a legacy of the Frank Spears term on the Columbia County Commission, we have the rain tax, which he pushed; the Frank Spears Memorial Bike Path; and the annual budget increases. Four more years of Spears and we’d have spent twice the county’s treasury and would have had to go to North Augusta for a loan.

When are we going to get rid of Charles Larke and get someone that will care about the welfare, safety and education of the children of Richmond County?

Why do so many people think the police are such great people? The cops I know are also the biggest law-breakers I know. They speed everywhere because they know they will not be stopped. They park illegally on the roadside causing wrecks in an effort to catch speeders. What is worse? The cops on Bobby Jones are way more dangerous

than the speeders.

Sonny Pittman did a fine job in the Augusta Commission meeting last week.

And, I’m glad that Stacey Eidson presented both sides of the debate in her article “Morris Tries To Pave Over Preservation” in The Spirit. I don’t always agree that every old building is worth preserving, but, having seen how many valuable historic structures have been destroyed in Augusta during my lifetime, I am grateful that the Historic Preservation Commission is trying so hard to save the few that remain.

School has just started and already the kids are ringing doorbells and selling candy and other overpriced junk. The kids learn nothing by doing this as the parents usually handle the record-keeping and financial accountability. Also, teachers and administrators spend hours messing with these stupid projects instead of teaching kids reading, writing and arithmetic. Big business is the only winner in this charade.

And they ought to be ashamed.

Please tell me that Underground Augusta (a proposed nightclub), is not going to be halted by a religious group that recently leased a small piece of downtown property, continued on page 6

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continued from page 4 and is now throwing itself around like it owns the whole block.

When did Austin become a Charles Walker Sr. supporter? In his column last week he praised Harold Jones over Quincy Murphy.

Austin says that Harold Jones is a fine young man, incredibly bright and ethical.

It’s apparent once again that Austin is clueless. Austin you need to conduct a little research before you speak. Charles Walker Sr. recruited and supported Jones.

I just read the article in which Sonny Pittman was allowed to voice his opinion regarding the demolition of a warehouse. If this is the same silly guy with whom I went to school, he should be ignored as one would

ignore an ill-tempered child.

So the Stallions are leaving the Civic Center! Doesn’t anybody with any intelligence know that the people who support indoor sports, especially hockey, wouldn’t give a darn if the building is dirty at the Civic Center?

For the person who does the movie reviews, I would like to thank them so much for ruining the ending to “Scooby-Do.” The reviewer must think the readers don’t have a brain. If you have half a brain you know that if “a puppy is the villain,” it’s Scrappy.

This is a response to the person who stated the Democrats control all three branches of the government, but the Republicans blocked

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their efforts for improved health care. If the Democrats are in control, how could the Republican block it? Sounds like fuzzy math to me.

This is about the article in which Ed McIntyre says he will be “doing something about economic development in Augusta.”

He certainly can do something about his economic development if he becomes mayor again, like he did the first time. He also mentioned how he was proud that there was no racial strife during his administration.

That’s because Charles Walker wasn’t around calling all the shots.

So Carson Daly is coming to Augusta for the opening ceremonies for the Augusta Commons. I hope someone tells him to parachute in, because he’ll never get a parking spot. How is the Augusta Commons supposed to attract people to downtown Augusta, when the finance people didn’t allow for one single parking spot?

Can you believe this? I pulled up alongside a Richmond County school bus full of kids and the driver lit up a cigarette I had to do a double-take. (I guess it was a cigarette.)

My whine is to Augusta State University who should have figured out their parking situation before they, started building all these new buildings. ‘Cause I live behind ASU on McDowell Street. and it’s a pain trying to get in and out of my driveway with all these cars parked all up and down the street. They should have figured all this parking stuff out before building. Thanks a lot!

Georgia missed the chance to get a wonderful woman in the governor’s mansion.

Linda Schrenko would have done a great job for all Georgians, black, white, male or female, Democrat or Republican. The reason we are cursed with such a horrible government, on the state and local levels, is that we don’t get out and vote when a good candidate comes along. I guess we have the government we deserve.

Goodbye, Bob Young. It is apparent that a lot of people are tired of Bob. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many challengers in the mayor’s race. I’ll take all bets that Bob goes down. Rightly, so. He has squandered every opportunity over the last four years.

He has concentrated on meaningless ideas like Amtrak and the “character city” program while spending time writing dumb letters and making stupid remarks that make him look like the boob that he is. Good rid-

7

dance, old boy.

I am outraged! It usually entertains me to read the Whine Line, but this time I have to say something. This is to the “good, financially secure man” who replied about the slim pickings in Augusta. “Slim pickings” is right because of the mentality that he and a good number of others carry in this world about divorcees. It goes both ways.

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M E T R O S P I R I T

I have some news for The Insider: As long as Charlie Norwood and Ralph Reed reign, Linda Schrenko would have always been out. They would never have groomed her for anything. It is a boy’s club. Don’t you get it? If she had been a go-along, get-along male with two statewide wins under her belt, they would have rushed to help her. It is not about merit; it is about money! Abandon your top foot soldier who fought the lonely fight in Atlanta for eight years in favor of a Democrat with a voting record as bad as Barnes. Now there’s a slogan to build party loyalty on. Excuse me, what was I thinking?

Party loyalty is an oxymoron. Women, minorities, young idealists: Apply elsewhere.

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Does anyone at the Housing Authority have a brain? Everyone knows you put projects out of nice areas and not on Broad Street. This town will never come back all the way with the Richmond Summit around.

There is a time and a place for everything, but leaving flyers plugging Charles Walker Jr. on the cars at First Baptist Church during worship service is totally tacky!

Regarding Richmond Summit that everyone seems so interested in getting rid of: What would be progress about having eight floors of disabled and elderly people out on the street under the bridge? Is that progress?

It’s not the people who live here that are the problem; it’s the people around Broad Street and the people who try to come in here. It’s not the people at the Summit.

We have the deal closer.

To Georgia Power Company. Please stop adding my neighbor's usage to my bill. I can’t believe this bill is for only my house.

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I want to congratulate Ed McIntyre on being the next mayor of Augusta. The whites in Augusta just don’t get it; the white vote will split, making him a shoo-in.

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com

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Opinion: Austin Rhodes

M E T R O

Chronicle Ed Page Oddly Quiet on Hootie and the Blowhard

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n what may portend a rare division in the ranks at Augusta National, has anyone else noticed the Augusta Chronicle editorial page’s odd silence over the recent turn of events with the vaunted golf club?

It is club chairman Hootie Johnson taking on National Council of Women’s Organization President Martha Burk. You know the details, but I like to refer to the battle as “Hootie and the Blowhard.”

Since returning from my vacation, I carefully covered The Chronicle’s online archive to get their take on Hootie’s bombshell and low and behold ... nothing. Chronicle sports writer Scott Michaux did offer a Saturday column, but the editorial page itself has been as quiet as a caddy watching a three putt.

Chronicle owner Billy Morris is our city’s most famous Green Coat, and you have to wonder if the typewriters he directly controls are silent on purpose.

New editorial chief Mike Ryan has established himself as a quick study who is not afraid to turn an editorial column around in 24 hours. Earlier regimes at the paper were usually at least two or three days before commenting on breaking news. If Ryan were moved, or allowed, to opine on the matter, he would have done it a heck of a lot sooner than now.

At this point, the earliest anything could appear on the ed pages is Thursday, six days post mortem.

Former editorial chief Phil Kent would often go to superhuman effort to secure Morris’s approval on a controversial column, no matter where on the planet the media magnate happened to be.

There is a standing rule, or at least there always has been, that not one word appears on the opinion pages about the Augusta National unless the big guy personally approves.

It just seems more than a little strange that Morris’ beloved club is in the midst of a very bizarre turn of internationally newsworthy developments and, editorially, from his own newspaper you get crickets.

Is this silence Morris’ way of making a loud statement on the current leadership of the Club? And if the “Club Man” Morris is on the outs with this decision, is it a stretch to think he is the only one?

The question of how firmly the Green Coat rank and file stand with their leader is not one to be taken lightly.

In the meantime, a guest editorial in Wednesday’s Atlanta JournalConstitution offered an interesting point which I doubt many have considered.

Columnist Walter Reichert offered this: “Demands by Martha Burk of the National Council of Women’s Organizations forced Augusta National Golf Club to pull all sponsorship from

the annual Masters tournament. This will drive down revenues for many of the charities that benefit from the event, including those that help people Burk is supposedly trying to empower.

“In 2002, Augusta National donated more than $3.3 million to local and national charities. Out of this amount, $1 million went to The First Tee initiative, which provides access to those who don’t have the opportunity to play golf, 54 percent of whom are women.”

As Gary McCord would say: “That is painfully ironical.”

In Other News The noise many of Georgia’s black Democrats are making over Cynthia McKinney’s stunning defeat is absolutely hilarious. There is now big talk of a “sitout” in the November election that has Senator Max Cleland quivering in his chair. Not only would a black boycott cream the Senator’s re-election bid, but it would also be quite a blow to every Democrat on the state ticket.

It is just like McKinney and her screwball supporters to take their ball and go home after having their heads handed to them. Those folks don’t know the meaning of the word “teamwork.”

Actually, they don’t know the meaning of a whole lot of words.

What I found of particular interest was the move by some McKinney Ninnies to close the state’s political party system.

That means no more crossover votes — that means no more Republicans ever being able to support “conservative Democrats” in primary elections ever again.

Talk about fallout. Think for a moment what would happen in Richmond County if Sheriff Ronnie Strength had to face a black opponent in a Democratic primary with no crossover vote allowed. For that matter, consider the best district attorney is the state, Danny Craig. Can you imagine him having to win a Democratic primary against a black challenger with virtually no Columbia County votes going to him at all?

Strength and Craig would be out of the political closet and into the Republican Party faster than Billy McKinney can spell J-e-w.

So bring it on! The establishment of mandatory party affiliation, with at least a one-year registration requirement, would be the greatest thing to happen to the GOP cause in this state since Ronald Reagan.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

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Opinion: Insider

Another Letter From Bob Young

B

ob Young has apparently seen the writing on the wall. Knowing that people in the community are frustrated with governmental bickering and his political faux pas, our esteemed mayor has gotten desperate, dispensing with the honey and reaching for the vinegar.

In a recent campaign mailer, Young states: “You should be wary of anyone who claims he can reach consensus with the current crop of race-baiting obstructionists; that merely maintains the status quo. When I first became your mayor I made every effort to work with Lee Beard, Willie Mays, Marion Williams and the others. But on every important initiative, including ethics legislation, they voted to impede progress.”

The question is, if re-elected (a bigger “if” with every passing day) what kind of consensus can Young hope to build with those commissioners he just publicly stabbed in the back?

Young can be assured that the three commissioners he claimed are impeding progress, will do everything in their power to impede his chances of being re-elected.

The word on the street is that Young’s days are through.

The mayor’s campaign mailer also states that he has tried to improve Augusta by working with “reform-minded” commissioners such as Bill Kuhlke, Ulmer Bridges, Steve Shepard and Tommy Boyles. The mayor further writes that he also has worked closely with members of the legislative delegation such as Representatives Sue Burmeister and Jack Connell and Senator Don Cheeks.

With those statements, many voters in the black community are asking: Who’s “racebaiting” now?

But the better question is: What was Young thinking when he wrote this letter? And the answer is: He wasn’t.

It was classic Young behavior, the same behavior that will leave him jobless in January.

Good Government Endorsements The Committee for Good Government made its endorsements for the November election during a meeting on Tuesday night at Julian Smith Casino. Candidates lined up for the opportunity to speak to the group. At the end of the evening, after ballots from dues-paying members had been cast, the happy victors basked in the glory. In reality, most members cast their ballots before ever hearing from the candidates and a large group of attendees didn’t stick around for the outcome. Of the approximately 300 people in attendance, club officials indicate that 176 ballots were cast.

Looks like lots of folks showed up for the food.

For years the political group has endorsed candidates for local office. Most of the time, the winners are those who have courted the club and maintained contact with members.

It is a good idea for candidates who want the club’s endorsement to become members. It is part of the political game.

The endorsement meeting is usually the group’s best-attended meeting of the year.

Candidates bring their friends and political

Augusta Mayor Bob Young allies to the meeting and have them join the club so they can vote. So what does the endorsement mean?

With the exception of county-wide races, most of the people in the club cannot vote for a majority of the candidates they endorse.

The real value of the endorsement is that it sounds very good to be endorsed by a group named “The Committee for Good Government.” For those voters who don’t follow election campaigns and politics, an endorsement of a candidate by such a group may sway some votes.

In addition, the endorsement winners get invited back to speak to the club in October.

This provides candidates an opportunity to rally the troops, solicit volunteers, seek out places for yard signs, and ask for any other help they can muster. Those who weren’t endorsed may attend next month but will not be allowed to speak.

The Committee for Good Government endorsements are as follows: • State Senate District 22: Randy Hall (R) over Charles Walker (D) • State House District 96: David Bell (D) over Sue Burmeister (R) • State House District 97: Otis Smith (R) over Quincy Murphy (D) • State House District 98: Henry Howard (D) over Davida Johnson (R) • State House District 99: George DeLoach (R) over Pete Warren (D) • State House District 100: Betty Daniel White (R) over Alberta Anderson (D) • Nonpartisan Richmond County School Board: Barbara Padgett over Robert Ingram • Nonpartisan mayor of Augusta: No. 1, Robin Williams. No. 2, Bob Young. No. 3, Bonnie Ruben. No. 4, Bobby Ross. No. 5, Ed McIntyre.

—The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

11

MetroBeat

M E T R O S P I R I T

Commission Rules: Synagogue and Bar Not Good Neighbors

M

embers of the Chabad Lubavitch Jewish outreach program and synagogue have won a victory over a nightclub seeking to locate next door to them on Broad Street.

But however sweet that victory, it also might be short-lived.

For one, James Hoar, owner of the proposed Underground Augusta nightclub, will have the right to appeal the decision Augusta commissioners made on Sept. 3 to turn down his alcohol license application on grounds the intended location fell within the 100yard distancing requirement from a religious institution.

And Hoar, through a press release, indicated he will do just that.

For another, the Augusta Commission may redraft the city’s zoning ordinance to abolish the 100-yard distance limit within the city’s downtown business district.

That means that if not next door, another nightclub could certainly move closer than the synagogue’s attorney, Louis Saul, said he would consider allowing — basically, across Broad Street from Chabad Lubavitch.

If the zoning ordinance were to be redrafted, even the location being sought by Underground Augusta, at 840 Broad Street, could be up for grabs by Hoar or anyone else seeking to open a bar or nightclub there after a year’s time.

After fighting a similar battle not long ago between a now-defunct dance hall and restaurant called Off Broadway and Curtis Baptist Church, Augusta Commissioners again saw the error of their ways when this situation between Chabad Lubavitch and Underground Augusta arose at a recent public services committee meeting at which the alcohol license application was first submitted.

But even amid discussion at past committee meetings that the synagogue’s

“

location in the middle of a block in the downtown business district could strike a blow to entertainment venues seeking to open up, commissioners still found their hands tied by an ordinance detractors and pro-business people called “short-sighted.”

we enforce our ordinance and I think that’s what we’re going to have to do in this case.”

The application for Underground Augusta was denied by a 7-0-2 vote.

Commissioners Lee Beard, Tommy Boyles, Marion Williams, Bill Kuhlke,

Attorney Louis Saul (left), representing Chabad Lubavitch, speaks with the head of the organization and synagogue, Rabbi Zalman Fischer, prior to the commission meeting.

“What we are dealing with today is an ordinance concerning a bar, and of course this is a religious institution that’s next to it with common walls, I understand,” commissioner Ulmer Bridges said, before voting to deny the application. “And the synagogue meets on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday for different types of services. So it’s going to be used frequently when the bar will probably be most active.

“They’re (the synagogue) asking that

Andy Cheek, Steve Shepard and Bridges voted to deny the application.

Commissioners Richard Colclough and Willie Mays abstained, and Bobby Hankerson was absent due to an out-oftown conference he was attending.

Saul, attorney for Chabad Lubavitch, told commissioners there were already plenty of alcohol establishments on Broad Street.

He also said he had tried to put Hoar in touch with the owner of a bar at a

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BY BRIAN NEILL

different location who wanted to sell his establishment to Hoar. That suggestion garnered about as much response as a previous suggestion by Hoar at a past meeting that the synagogue move a couple of storefronts down from where he wanted to locate Underground Augusta.

“We conduct Sunday school, bar mitzvah lessons, lessons for children in the synagogue,” Saul said. “We have services during the day and we have services in the evening. We do not need a bar next door to the synagogue.

“Now you can come up with a new ordinance, and if the community gets behind the synagogue, you won’t be able to pass the ordinance.”

Saul said Chabad Lubavitch would not oppose bars locating in or adjacent to the Augusta Common on the other side of Broad Street.

“I told the city attorney that we will not oppose a bar across the street in the old Atlanta Gas Light building or in the Common,” Saul said. “We do not want a bar next door.”

Some commissioners voiced concern, however, that leaving discretionary power over city ordinances in the hands of religious institutions could cause even further problems.

“The synagogue said it was willing to waive the Augusta Common across the street,” Williams said, asking for clarification before the vote. “Is that something we can do though, unless the ordinance is changed? Can we do that?

County Attorney Jim Wall attempted to answer the question.

“That is a tough question in the sense that you phrased it,” Wall said.

“However, if the synagogue consents to the opening of a bar across the street, they are the ones who can complain about the non-enforcement of the ordinance. They are also the ones who’ve had questions raised concerning the establish-

”

continued on page 12

We have services during the day and we have services in the evening. We do not need a bar next door to the synagogue. Now you can come up with a new ordinance, and if the community gets behind the synagogue, you won’t be able to pass the ordinance.

— Louis Saul, attorney for Chabad Lubavitch.

5 2 0 0 2

12 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

“

Everything that I have pulled (from county records) has shown that that location is not a church; it is a retail establishment. And how else would an average citizen, other than following proper protocol, know what is located next door?

”

— Jean Colohan, attorney for James Hoar, seeking an alcohol license for Underground Augusta.

continued from page 11 ment of the church at that location.”

Wall was referring to the fact, brought up several times by Hoar and his attorney, Jean Colohan, that Chabad Lubavitch had no clear signs or markings other than a small piece of paper attached to its front window that indicates it is a religious establishment. Colohan pointed out that the synagogue still bears the sign of the former occupant, Kay Cleaners, and

county records indicate it is still a retail business location.

“Everything that I have pulled (from county records) has shown that that location is not a church; it is a retail establishment,” Colohan said. “And how else would an average citizen, other than following proper protocol, know what is located next door?”

It was also brought up at a past committee meeting that the synagogue had an informal lease arranged with Saul’s

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relative and no certificate of occupancy, which a religious establishment or place where people assemble is required to have by law.

“So therefore, under the circumstances with this, in my opinion, they (the synagogue) could consent to it and allow a bar to go in across the street,” Wall told the commission.

Adding even more complexity to the situation, commissioner Mays questioned the fairness of turning down Hoar’s license and then redrafting the ordinance to allow a similar situation to exist in the near future.

That’s why he made an earlier motion to allow Hoar to withdraw his application without prejudice, meaning he could reapply after the ordinance was redrafted without having to wait a year.

That motion failed.

“I think you’re caught in a quandary of whether or not you decide to turn one person’s license down today, knowing that in two weeks, you probably will be presented with an ordinance that if the same license came up, it would probably be a moot issue,” Mays said.

“Should the timeframe of the ordinance be what keeps one business from being in business and other businesses from being out of business?” he added.

License and Inspection Director Rob Sherman said he heard Wall was planning to present a revised ordinance to the public services committee in the next week or two.

Wall could not be reached before press time to confirm that.

After the meeting, Rabbi Zalman

James Hoar Fischer, who heads Chabad Lubavitch, said he believed the commission made the right decision.

“I think we were glad that the commissioners voted down the application and upheld the law,” Fischer said.

Asked if the bar and his synagogue could co-exist, as was suggested by some commissioners and supporters of Underground Augusta, Fischer replied, “It would be unfair for a bar to open up with such limitations that would accommodate our needs.

“I would suggest that if they go further down the block or across the street, as our lawyer pointed out, that would be more accommodating.”

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Commission Calls Meeting With Coliseum Authority

A

fter having various members of the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority boycott three consecutive meetings held at the civic center in the last month, Augusta commissioners realized they could no longer sit by and allow the authority to self-destruct.

Commissioners decided it was time to either force members of the coliseum authority to come together or ask the local legislative delegation to permanently tear them apart.

Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson, who attended the authority’s last called meeting on Aug. 27 – which was ultimately canceled due to a lack of a quorum – saw for himself the deep division on the board.

Hankerson felt the problems at the civic center were so serious that the Augusta Commission should discuss the authority’s behavior at the commission’s Sept. 3 meeting.

While Hankerson was out of town during the Sept. 3 meeting, he provided the commission with a list of concerns that Joe Scott, interim chairman of the coliseum authority, said the authority needed to immediately address. Scott wrote that the authority needed to discuss matters such as the amount of money that should be refunded to the North Georgia Conference of United Methodists, as well as deciding if the civic center should hire a new general manager or a professional management company to run the facility.

But before the Augusta Commission did anything drastic, like suggesting to the local legislative delegation that the coliseum authority be dissolved, Commissioner Willie Mays made a motion that the commission, authority and the legislative delegation meet within the next few days to talk through some of the troubles at the civic center.

Having the legislative delegation attend the meeting is crucial because any action to change the structure of the authority must be approved in Atlanta because the authority was created by the state.

“This (civic center) is an investment where millions of dollars of taxpayer money has gone into it,” Mays said. “And regardless of what takes place down the road, whether it’s a new arena or whether it’s the same one, I think folks’ jobs hang in the balance. ... And maybe by us putting them in a room, we can then provide the type of leadership that will force them to call a meeting that they will all come to. Because I think they definitely need to meet. And the sooner the better.”

Although the commission fully supported meeting with the coliseum authority and the legislative delegation to discuss some concerns with the civic center, Commissioner Bill Kuhlke also asked that the topic of dissolving the authority be placed on an agenda for a Sept. 20 meeting of the Joint Legislative Committee.

This committee is made up of three members of the commission and three members of the local legislative delegation.

The purpose of the committee is for the two political bodies to decide what are the most crucial issues facing Augusta that need to be addressed by the General Assembly in Atlanta during the 2003 legislative session.

“I’m all in favor of sitting down with the coliseum authority, but we all know if we can’t make some progress sitting down with the coliseum authority that we are going to continue to have problems over there,” Kuhlke said. “And it is something that has got to be dealt with, whether it’s the abolishment of the coliseum authority or whatever.”

But Commissioner Lee Beard told Kuhlke that the legislative delegation asked the commissioners to submit approximately five major concerns facing Augusta to the delegation for discussion on Sept. 20.

Beard said the commission had already created a list which included changing the state’s eviction laws, increasing the current 911 fees, allowing sales tax money to be used for public safety needs, adding a surcharge on fines and filing fees for the courts, providing some relief from insurance premium taxes and finding funding for local museums and attractions.

“The delegation had asked us for five items and we were trying to adhere to what they were saying,” Beard said.

However, Kuhlke said he couldn’t understand why the civic center would not be included on the commission’s list of concerns.

“I think Mr. Beard, to me, that’s one of the most serious problems we’ve got in this community right now and for us to overlook that and to not have that on this list is terrible,” Kuhlke said.

Commissioner Steve Shepard agreed with Kuhlke.

“We can’t ignore the coliseum authority,” Shepard said. “We just can’t sit up here and approve money to the (Augusta Metro)

13

BY STACEY EIDSON

S P I R I T

Convention and Visitors Bureau, the (Augusta) Sports Council and other entities to promote this city when we are having that work undone by the activities over at the coliseum authority.”

Shepard also said the commission needed to add mosquito control on its list of concerns to the delegation because of the recent threat of the West Nile virus.

“I look at it this way: Our delegation ought to be representing this community, and

S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

“Look at the coliseum authority. I think they are doing a miserable job over there and I’ve said that publicly before.”

– Augusta Commissioner Bill Kuhlke

to tell us to put five issues on the table is somewhat ridiculous,” Kuhlke said. “Look at the coliseum authority. I think they are doing a miserable job over there and I’ve said that publicly before. And I look at an organization over there that has got a payroll that is almost a million dollars and they are going to bring in a little over $400,000 in income.

“Hell, we’d be better off for them to close down. So, I think it is an important issue. I think it is an issue that ought to be put on the table.”

Both Beard and Mays said they understood the other commissioners’ concerns, but they warned that any future meeting with the coliseum authority would be pointless if the commission already sent a message to the legislative delegation that it was looking to abolish the authority.

“I think when you send the message and

telegraph it that you want to abolish something, you want to abandon it ... I think it says to those folks that you want to meet with, that, ‘We aren’t really interested in hearing you as a body or what you may want to do,’” Mays said. “In other words, we are saying basically, ‘To hell with you.’”

The commission ultimately agreed to add mosquito control and a discussion of the coliseum authority to the delegation’s agenda. However, the commission also agreed that the issue of the authority would be dropped from the agenda if the commission could meet with the authority and begin to resolve the civic center’s problems before the Sept. 20 meeting.

“We’ve got a broken coliseum right now that needs to be fixed,” said Commissioner Andy Cheek. “And the first step to solving the problem is meeting together.”

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M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

Is Augusta Closer To Capturing Continental?

A

woman carrying a large Fed Ex envelope quietly entered Augusta Regional Airport’s conference room in the middle of the Augusta Aviation Commission’s Aug. 29 meeting.

She quickly handed the envelope to Kathryn Solee, the airport’s director of marketing and business development. As soon as Solee looked inside, she could barely contain her enthusiasm.

Solee immediately jotted down a brief note and passed it to Aviation Commission Chairperson Marcie Wilhelmi.

A huge smile spread across Wilhelmi’s face and she quickly ended the board’s previous discussion so Solee could make her announcement.

“The list is here,” Solee said, holding up the envelope.

“The list” is an itemized summary of office equipment and supplies that Continental Express officials have stated the airline needs at Augusta Regional Airport in order to provide new service to the CSRA in the spring of 2003.

“It’s not a done deal until the first airplane pulls up to the gate, but we have been waiting for a very long time, since April, for ‘the list’ from Continental,” Solee told the board. “Now, I have only just looked at the list, but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. It’s reasonable and doable.”

In the letter to Augusta Regional Airport from Steven Moore, director of properties and facilities for Continental Express, the airline estimated the cost for opening a station in Augusta would be approximately $525,000.

In order to reduce Continental’s station opening costs, Solee told the board that she would ask the community to help support new air service in Augusta by reviewing Continental’s list and considering supplying the airport with necessary items such as computers, fax machines and office furniture.

“We, as the airport, and you, as the commission, have laid forth a very, very generous incentive program,” Solee told the board. “But as an airport, we are limited as to what we can offer.”

The airport has offered Continental

$100,000 worth of marketing incentives to promote the proposed twice daily, non-stop jet service to Newark, N.J. The airport also agreed to waive the landing fees for Continental for one year.

Included in the proposal is the possibility of waiving the terminal rent fee, depending on the number of enplaned passengers using the service for the first 12 months.

“When Continental was here in April during their visit, they spoke with community members who stepped forward and said, ‘Let us know what it will take

“

BY STACEY EIDSON

deep. Because this is not the time to wither and back down,” Solee said.

“The opportunity is just so tremendous.”

The city of Augusta has already begun the community campaign by pledging $100,000 in Urban Development Action Grant funds as incentives for Continental.

If Augusta is successful in attracting Continental to the area, Solee said not only could the community expect nonstop regional jet service to Newark, but Augustans could also potentially see nonstop service to Houston, Continental’s

It’s not a done deal until

“

14

the first airplane pulls up to the gate, but we have been waiting for a very

long time, since April, for

‘the list’ from Continental.

– Kathryn Solee, the airport’s director of marketing and business development

(to bring Continental to Augusta),’” Solee said. “This is now the time for the community to step forward with the same amount of vigor that they did a year ago with the Continental Challenge.”

Solee was referring to the airport’s 2001 campaign to attract Continental to Augusta that raised more than $600,000 in travel pledges from the community.

“Now it is time for this community to step forward and, what do they say at the church pulpit? It’s time to dig and dig

corporate headquarters.

“If we can come to agreeable terms with our station costs, we are looking for the potential of Continental making an announcement this year for business to begin next year,” Solee said. “This is just a really, really exciting moment.”

However, this good news may come as a shock to some people who have been following the recent financial reports from Continental Airlines.

On Aug. 20, The Atlanta Journal-

Constitution reported that Continental plans to ground 11 jets by December and add new service fees for low-fare passengers.

These changes were reportedly necessary because of Continental’s new plan to cut its annual costs by $350 million.

Augustans have also heard promises of Continental coming to town before.

Last September, airport officials seemed all but certain Continental was prepared to announce new flights into Augusta. Of course, the tragic events of Sept. 11 quickly turned the airline industry upside down.

Adding to the skepticism of new airline service in Augusta was last month’s announcement by Comair, a subsidiary of Delta Air Lines, that the airline was not interested in resuming flights to Augusta from Cincinnati.

Comair began service out of Augusta in December 2000, but was forced to pull out of the market due to a three-month pilot strike.

During a June 24 airport meeting, Solee told the aviation commission that Comair had “sheepishly come back” to her, asking what incentives the airport could offer the airline to entice Comair back to Augusta.

As it turns out, according to the airline’s announcement last month, Comair really wasn’t that interested in returning to Augusta.

But when Solee held up “the list” from Continental, none of the airport’s past problems seemed to matter to the aviation commission.

For Wilhelmi, it was as if Continental officials were standing on the airport’s front porch with suitcases in hand.

“I hope that Augusta understands, with this entire industry condensing and pulling in, what this means in terms of the viability of this market that we even got that letter,” Wilhelmi said, holding Continental’s list. “Holy mackerel. It makes me want to cry.”

But before the commission got too carried away, Solee reminded everyone that this was not an announcement for new service in Augusta.

“It’s not a done deal until it’s a done deal,” Solee said. “This is just the next step.”

15 M E T R O

Committed to Exceptional Care

S P I R I T

MCG Health System Welcomes‌

S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

Daniel Albo, M.D., Ph.D., Assistant Professor, Department of Surgery, Section of Surgical Oncology

Balamurali K. Ambati, M.D., Assistant Professor, Director of Corneal Services, Department of Ophthalmology, Corneal and Refractive Surgery

Oscar Ballester, M.D., Director, Stem Cell Transplant Program, Department of Medicine, Section of Hematology/ Oncology

Joel S. Brenner, M.D., M.P.H., Assistant Professor, Sports Medicine and Adolescent Medicine, Director, Pediatric and Adolescent Sports Medicine

Dr. Bala Ambati is the Director of the cornea service, performing corneal transplantation, cataract extraction and refractive surgery, including LASIK. His research interests are in corneal angiogenesis and wound healing.

Dr. Ballester is a specialist in the treatment of cancers of the blood and in the care of patients receiving autologous or allogeneic stem cell transplants (bone marrow transplants).

Dr. Brenner is a sports medicine and adolescent medicine specialist who provides primary care to adolescents and comprehensive sports medicine care to children/adolescents and young adults.

Michelle G. Brenner, M.D., Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Department of Pediatrics, Section of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology

Sean L. Francis, M.D., Assistant Professor, Female Urology and Pelvic Surgery, Department of OB/GYN, Section of General Gynecology and Obstetrics

John W. Hiemenz, M.D., Associate Director, Stem Cell Transplant Program, Director, Infectious Diseases Research Program

Andrew Muir, M.D., Associate Professor, Department of Pediatrics, Section of Pediatric Endocrinology

Dr. Brenner is a general pediatrician who will be assisting in the pediatric hematology/ oncology clinic. She also has a special interest in breastfeeding promotion and education.

Dr. Francis is a fellowship trained urogynecologist providing specialized care to female patients with urinary incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse. Special areas of interest include laparoscopic and vaginal surgery.

Dr. Hiemenz serves as a primary physician in the hematological malignancies and bone marrow transplant program. He has had advanced training and expertise in the prevention and treatment of infectious complications of immunosuppressive cancer therapy.

Dr. Muir is the section chief of pediatric endocrinology. He cares for children with endocrine gland disorders including diabetes, abnormal growth, and puberty and thyroid disorders.

Dr. Albo is a surgical oncologist with particular interest in hepatobiliary, pancreatic and colorectal malignancies as well as endocrine surgery.

Luis A. Ortiz, M.D., Assistant Professor, Department of Pediatrics, Section of Pediatric Nephrology

Jonathan S. Vordermark, M.D., Professor of Pediatrics and Surgery, Department of Surgery, Section of Urology

Thomas Young, M.D., Assistant Professor, Departments of Pediatrics and Medicine, Sections of Pediatric and Adult Cardiology

Dr. Ortiz is a pediatric nephrologist who provides specialized care to patients with kidney problems (congenital anomalies, infections, acute and chronic kidney failure, dialysis). He is also very involved in the kidney transplant program.

Dr. Vordermark is a pediatric urologist, a urology subspecialist who cares for infants and children with problems of the urinary and genital tracts, such as tumors, infections and neurological conditions.

Dr. Young is a pediatric cardiologist caring for children with congenital heart disease as well as pediatric patients with hypertension, chest pain and high cholesterol. He has a special interest in adults with congenital heart disease.

MCG is committed to being on the forefront of medical research and treatment. As the region’s only academic medical center, we attract top physicians and medical professionals from across the country and around the world. We are proud to introduce these newest additions to our team.

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16 M E T R O S P I R I T

Measuring Your Manhood

S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

By Brian Neill

I

f you’ve spent any evenings in front of the tube during the course of the last month or two, chances are you’ve become acquainted with Smiling Bob. There he stands in the ‘50s-era living room, beaming from ear to ear, as he gives a full, round and firm martini shaker the healthy upand-down motion.

Meanwhile, the dejected neighbor guy sits on Smiling Bob’s couch, woefully eying the pathetic cocktail wiener mounted on his toothpick.

The dejected neighbor guy’s wife looks equally, well, dejected.

“Why is Bob smiling?” the announcer asks coyly, as if the various phallic symbolism and the look of near-tearful jubilation on Bob’s own wife’s face didn’t get the point across.

Bob’s bigger down there. He’s larger in the drawers.

And you can be, too, if you take Enzyte.

Or at least that’s what one would gather from watching the commercial, as well as another that makes even easier work of phallic innuendo because it features Smiling Bob hanging out on a golf course.

Chip Clarke, vice president of marketing for Cincinnati-based Lifekey Healthcare, Inc., maker of Enzyte pills, said the company has been advertising for about the last 10 months. The Smiling Bob commercials, Clarke said, represent a new approach to advertising Enzyte, which promises to deliver “male-enhancement” to its users by increasing blood-flow to the penis.

Clarke said his company is trying to set its product apart from others that offer promises of larger penis size.

“There are a lot of those types of products out there and we try to make ours above the breakout,” Clarke said. “Most of these products you’ll see in the back of pornography magazines, but we try to take a

different approach to it, that, you know, it’s a situation that men need a little help with and our marketing is more upscale.”

In fact, the commercials, humorous as they are, look not unlike many other pharmaceutical ads on television.

The advertisements even employ what appears to be Enzyte’s generic name in parentheses beneath the product’s logo, similar to the way other drugs approved by the Food and Drug Administration do in their commercials.

But that’s the catch.

Enzyte is not classified as a drug, nor is it approved by the FDA. The name in the parentheses?

According to a teaching fellow at Harvard University who was quoted in a USA Today article, the phrase suffragium asotas that appears with the product logo loosely translates in Latin to mean “refuge for the dissipated.”

Enzyte is actually a concoction of herbs and minerals like Yohimbe extract, ginko biloba extract, potency wood, niacin and saw palmetto.

Clarke said he didn’t feel the company was misleading the public.

“I don’t really think it is, because in all of our materials and literature, we tell them up front, ‘Ask your doctor if Enzyte is right for you,’” Clarke said. “And we’ve actually had several doctors say, ‘You know, I don’t really see anything that is harmful. There’s no ephedrine or artificial stimulants in there.’ And you know, we’ve just had a great success with it.”

Clarke added that Enzyte is now advertising in national magazines, and implied

that those publications would not be taking ads from snake-oil salesmen.

“As well as TV, we’re in Fortune, Forbes, BusinessWeek, with full-color magazine ads,” Clarke said. “A lot of these people have some very high standards, and TV has some very high standards.”

Along with that, Clarke said he has firsthand experience with the product.

“I’m 47 and I don’t know if the plumbing starts to rust or what, so to speak. But you know, without being vulgar or anything, it’s helped me,” Clarke said. “I feel more firm, fuller, and I haven’t gotten the tapemeasure out, obviously. But I feel good about it. I feel some benefit from it and my wife of 20 years does. So, who’s to say?”

Clarke said that Enzyte has roughly an 84-percent repeat-buy rate, indicating pleased customers.

Enzyte’s Web site (www.enzyte.com) lists testimonials from supposed real users (first names only) who have rekindled their sex lives and gained newfound confidence.

For instance, there’s 42-year-old Rick, whose wife lost sexual interest after giving birth to three children.

“Enzyte gives Rick renewed confidence and helps him feel more in control,” the testimonial reads, “and Laura appreciates the benefits she experiences from her husband’s larger, fuller erections, which compensates for the lack of stimulation she was experiencing during intercourse.”

But does the product make good on what it’s promising to deliver?

Dr. Marc Cohen, professor of surgery and urology at the Medical College of Georgia, answers that question with a

“I never would want to say that these products can’t have some potential benefit, but they have never been studied in a rigorous scientific fashion, or only in limited degrees.”

— Dr. Marc Cohen, professor of surgery and urology at the Medical College of Georgia.

resounding — maybe.

“When I get asked questions about products of this nature, I do have some interest in alternative medicine, because that’s what we’re talking about here,” Cohen said. “I never would want to say that these products can’t have some potential benefit, but they have never been studied in a rigorous scientific fashion, or only in limited degrees.”

For instance, saw palmetto, one of the ingredients in Enzyte, has been shown in controlled studies to improve prostate function in terms of easing the voiding of one’s bladder, Cohen said.

But because Enzyte is not FDA regulated, he added, there’s no way to tell about the quantities or purity levels of certain ingredients such as saw palmetto in the product.

“That’s another risk that you run with these. Because there’s no real controls over what’s in them, you don’t always know if you’re even getting the same thing each time you purchase the drug,” Cohen said. “So they (the ingredients) aren’t all snake-oil, but the tricky part is, how do they work, why do they work and would they really work synergistically with one another when in combination? And then again, like any food or drug that people take, there is the potential for some side effects people need to realize. There’s no free lunch in a sense.”

Even so, Clarke insists that Enzyte is making no false claims.

“Obviously, this is a feel-good product, as much (physical) as emotion,” Clarke said.

“I mean obviously, our advertising is so much different than the others that say, ‘Increase size by 4 inches.’ That’s absolutely asinine, and we decry any of that stuff going on, because the only way you can do that is with the surgery.”

Curious as to what the real individuals hawking Enzyte, the salespeople, had to say, I gave the company a call.

I got a woman named Kim who identified herself as my “clinical adviser,” and asked if I was calling about the 40-percent-off promotion.

Saying that I simply wanted more information about the product, I asked if it would really make a person bigger down there.

“It helps increase the size of the erection, sir. It increases the erection size,” the woman said.

I asked if a girlfriend, for instance, would be able to notice the size increase.

Apparently, that was the wrong question to ask.

“What else would you like to know sir?

I’m not here to discuss your penis size,” the woman said.

I pointed out in quizzical fashion that increasing penis size is what the company is advertising.

“No, we do not discuss size, sir,” she said.

“It will increase your size up to one-third of whatever you are now. And I’m pretty sure she will notice that. Anything else I can help you with?”

I said I’d think about it.

Thinking I was perhaps dealing with an overly sensitive associate who may have had her share of prank calls, I decided to call back and ask for a male representative.

I got Bruce, who told me I could expect as much as a 31-percent increase in size.

He said the average result, following a three-month regimen to build up Enzyte in my system, is a 25-percent increase in size and fullness.

Asked what that boiled down to in inches, he offered a theoretical starting point of a 5-inch erection.

“Well, 25 percent, you know, whatever you start with,” he said. “If somebody started with the number 5 (inches), 25 percent of that is about one and a quarter (inches) or close to two, so that’s an increase of an inch and a half right there.

“But it’s size and fullness and that’s something that means a lot to women, the way I understand it — the fullness,” Bruce added.

He also said that users could expect to gain more stamina, better orgasms and a healthy prostate by using Enzyte.

Lifekey Healthcare, Inc., is documented by the Better Business Bureau of Cincinnati as having had 45 complaints lodged against it by consumers in the past year.

The category with the highest number of complaints — 11 in all — involved customers whose dissatisfaction related to guarantee or warranty issues.

Out of the total 45 complaints, only four

What Do I Know About Me?

more of a sensation than there is there (without Enzyte). You know, you don’t take it to get the erection, you try to improve your erection, and enhancement, and relationship,” Clarke said. “Most people do report some benefit.”

“We put it out there and try to be very open and honest and try to stay away from the ridiculous claims,” he added. “You know, the product is what it is.”

Of course, the real issue seems to boil down to the cliche question: Does size really matter?

Not as much as some people think, said Cohen of MCG. “It’s unusual for (doctors) to see a man with a size problem,” Cohen said. “That is, in most cases, as long as a man can get a rigid enough erection to have intercourse and deposit sperm in the appropriate location, that’s basically what the fundamental function of the reproductive nature of the penis is.

“So what we’re really talking about in terms of — ‘Am I too small?’ is the biggest question, of course ... it’s largely, no pun intended, a psychological or psychosocial component as to what’s going on.”

“I'm 47 and I don't know if the plumbing starts to rust or what, so to speak. But you know, without being vulgar or anything, it's helped me. I feel more firm, fuller, and I haven't gotten the tape-measure out, obviously. But I feel good about it.”

— Chip Clarke, vice president of marketing for Cincinnati-based Lifekey Healthcare, Inc., maker of Enzyte pills.

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were left unresolved after the company made every reasonable attempt to please the customer, the agency reported.

“We were very judicious about responding to every claim,” Clarke said. “And you know, people will buy this stuff expecting miracles, to be honest with you, even though we tell them that’s not the way it is.

“And what a lot of people do, most of those Better Business claims, they take two and a half bottles, and they say, ‘Here, I want all my money back ‘cause this stuff doesn’t work.’ Obviously, we’ve got some issues with that. You know, you order a pizza and eat half of it and tell the (pizza company) you don’t want anymore of it ...”

“We’re not trying to say, ‘Let the buyer beware,’ but we do try to be up-front with them ... We tell them up-front that this does not come with a money-back guarantee.”

A three-month supply of Enzyte, the minimum the company recommends before one can expect to see results, typically costs $239, Clarke said.

Enzyte is currently running a special of $149.95 for the same amount and $59 for a month’s supply, he added.

“On the worst case, you’re going to get

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f you want some real food, and a fun atmosphere, then Famous Dave’s is where you need to be.

General Manager Kim Keel was much too modest. “We’re definitely a laidback atmosphere. Just a little rib joint serving the best barbecue in town.”

They have a full menu of barbecue sandwiches, combination platters, ribs, desserts, down-home side dishes, burgers, chicken, soup ‘n’ salad, appetizers and more. Just thinking about it will make you want to run right out to get some of that scrumptious goodness.

For appetizers Famous Dave’s offers Hot or Mild Barbecue Chicken Wings: a 12piece order for $5.99, 24 pieces for $11.99 and 60 pieces for $26.99. Same price scheme goes for the Buffalo Chicken Wings.

Yum. There is a Soup ‘n’ Salad menu for those who want to eat light, but if you want barbecue, there are plenty of choices.

The Award-Winning Ribs come in three different sizes and two kinds of orders – a la carte and by the platter. Regular Ribs, which is a four-bone slab, cost $7.99 a la carte, and $9.99 by the platter.

The Large Rib order, which is six bones, costs $3 more. The XXL Rib, or The Big Slab, which is the whole 12-bone extravaganza, costs $15.99 a la carte and $17.99 by the platter.

Platters include a corn bread muffin, corn on the cob and a choice of two sides: coleslaw, drunkin’ apples, Wilbur beans, shack fries or potato salad. You can trade in the two sides for a baked potato.

Keel says the best part of the menu is the Dave’s Famous Feasts part. For under $50 you can get the All-American Barbecue Feast that serves up to five. And you’re going to need four of your friends to help you with it if you don’t want to hurt yourself. Here’s why.

You get a full slab of ribs, a whole chicken, a half-pound beef brisket or

chopped pork, coleslaw, shack fries, Wilbur beans, four servings of corn on the cob, and four corn bread muffins.

The Feast For Two serves up to three people and consists of half of the All-American Feast. That costs $26.49.

The 5-Star Feast is the All-American plus a bottle of Dom Perignon Champagne.

Champagne and barbecue – now that’s a way to celebrate. And it’s fitting, because Famous Dave’s is the Dom Perignon of barbecue.

“All of our meats are hickory-smoked, so they all come out tender and juicy,” Keel said. “Everything on the menu is made from scratch in the restaurant.”

And they’re the recipes of Famous Dave himself.

But of course, Famous Dave’s is more than just a great menu chock full of fabulous food. Every Tuesday night, Mark the Magic Man is there for the kiddies. That’s family night, and a good way to have a night on the town yet spend it with the youngsters as well.

Customers love it, Keel said. “We get a lot of positive feedback.”

Check out the back of the menu for the drinks. At the top you’ll find their beer selection, which includes 11 bottled beers, and cold draft selections as well. Check the menu for their wine selection.

The Specialty Drinks are in the middle.

Keel says the most popular is Sweet Mama’s Backyard Punch – 22 ounces of a dangerous concoction of vodka, rum, amaretto and Dave’s Own Rum Runner Mix. Just make sure you can handle it before you jump in.

Famous Dave’s offers a frozen drink special between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. for $3.

So come on out. Have a hot meal and a cold drink. Bring the kids. This is truly the place to eat, drink and be merry. Famous Dave’s is open Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m. until 10 p.m., and Friday-Saturday from 11 a.m. until 11 p.m.

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Austin Powers in Goldmember (PG-13) —

No golden member, just a tin fig leaf. Mike Myers still has his crack timing and suppor ting cast (Seth Green a standout, plus Michael Caine agog with fun as Powers' dad), but the silly plot is nothing, and too many gags are just stupid frat-boy stuf f with a lacing of gay schtick. Beyonce Knowles brings a zip of sassy freshness as Fox xy Cleopatra, yet the movie is both smug and lazy, and the gaudy, pushy "style" steamrolls the humor into flatness. With numerous celebrity cameos, none very funny (the least: Steven Spielberg). 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Blood Work (R) — Clint Eastwood looks worse than weathered as Terry McCaleb, retired from the FBI af ter a serial killer drove him to a hear t at tack.

McCaleb's cardiologist (Anjelica Huston) can't believe it when McCaleb swings into detective work two months af ter get ting a hear t transplant. Graciella (Wanda De Jesus), who urges him to take the case that flummoxes the rather lazy cops, is the angry sister of a murdered woman whose hear t McCaleb is now pumping. "Blood Work" gives early promise of being one of the rare, adult Hollywood movies this summer, then bungles. It has enticing story touches, but flops into a hectic cascade of bizarre revelations, and then pure plot pulp on a wrecked ship. Cast: Clint Eastwood, Jef f Daniels, Wanda De Jesus, Anjelica Huston, Tina Lif ford, Paul Rodriguez, Dylan Walsh. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★ Blue Crush (PG-13) — It's about girls who work at cleaning a big Oahu hotel, but their hear ts are in their bikinis, and their bikinis are usually in the wild sur f. It's in the sur f that gorgeous Anne Marie (Kate Boswor th) has her big tif f with envious pal Eden (Michelle Rodriguez), teaches board skills to visiting quar terback and lover Mat t (Mat thew Davis), stares into the thong of her soul and, finally, faces the supreme test of the Pipe Masters competition on Oahu's nor th shore. Director John Stockwell knows the stakes here. He has a sur fer in danger and the girls give us the ugly truth of it: "Oooh" and "Heavy out there" and "That's got ta hur t." It makes "Point Break" seem like "Lord Jim." Cast: Kate Boswor th, Mat thew Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Sanoe Lake, Mirka Boorem, Faizon Love. Running time: 1 hr.,

Photo: Paul Chedlow

Movie Listings

5

39 mins. (Elliot t) ★★

The Bourne Identity (PG-13) — Bourne (Mat t

Damon) was sent to kill a risky African leader on a yacht, had an at tack of qualms, then plunged overboard with holes in his back. He was saved by fishermen, the captain an amateur doctor who pulls the rounds out of Bourne, and ex tracts an implant that has the number of a Swiss bank account. In an identity fog, though now with money and passpor ts, and reflexively gif ted with all his trained skills — his sour CIA boss, Conklin (Chris Cooper), decides to snuf f Bourne as "a malfunctioning $30 million piece of equipment" — Bourne zips to Paris af ter emptying the deposit box in Zurich. "The Bourne Identity" has the identity of potent enter tainment. Cast: Mat t Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles.

Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 City by the Sea (R) — Rober t De Niro is New York City homicide detective Vincent LaMarca in this character-driven drama. He’s drawn back to his former home, Long Beach, to investigate a murder suspect: his estranged son. During the course of the investigation, LaMarca must not only deal with his son’s alleged involvement in the case, but with the specter of his own father’s criminal activities and the fear that his infant grandson may be caught in the cycle. Cast: Rober t De Niro, Frances McDormand, James Franco, Eliza Dushku.

The Country Bears (G) — This benign, liveaction film follows bear cub Beary Bearington (voiced

by Haley Joel Osment) as he reunites his musical idols, The Country Bears. Af ter lit tle Beary convinces the bitter rock icons that they still need each other, the woolly second-grader makes peace with his own adopted human family. The 10-and-under crowd will love these blinking, harmonizing, restaurant-dining bears. Musicstar cameos (Elton John, Willie Nelson, Queen Latifah) make the film slightly easier to digest for the tolerant parent. 1hr., 25 mins. (Diamond) ★★

The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course (PG) — Steve "The Crocodile Hunter " Irwin and wife

Terri dance circles around inept government agents and cuddle flesh-eating crocodiles. When the high-energy hosts of the hit wildlife series "The Crocodile Hunter " are accused of stealing a fallen U.S. spy satellite, they bat tle two silly CIA agents in an Outback adventure.

“City by the Sea”

Forget the common sense, but if you toss in the bot tlesucking joey kangaroo cameo, this lite comedy is a close second to family bonding at the zoo. Cast: Steve Irwin, Terri Irwin. Running time: 1 hr., 27 mins.

(Diamond) ★★1/2

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) — Successful playwright Sidda (Sandra

Bullock), in an interview in Time magazine, suggests that her dif ficult childhood was due largely to her mother, Vivi (Ellen Burstyn). An angry phone call and a few let ters later, the two are estranged. Time for the Ya-Ya Sisterhood to step in – four women bound in friendship since girlhood, led by Vivi. They make a secret trip to New York, where, with the aid of Sidda's boyfriend Connor (Angus MacFadyen), they drug Sidda, spirit her down South and establish her in an outpost near her family's estate. There she is to pore over their scrapbook, "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," af ter which she will understand why her mother can be such an impossible shrew. The "Divine Secret's" mission: a wallow in greeting-card sentimentality, a bath in bathos. Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ellen Burstyn, Fionnula Flanagan, Ashley Judd, Shirley Knight, Maggie Smith, James Garner. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Eight Legged Freaks (PG-13) — A clunky, mildly amusing "salute" to big-bug monster movies, as toxically enlarged spiders chase, spear and web dumbbunny humans in Arizona. The only style is TV-filler nostalgia, not the wit tier goofiness of "Tremors," and scenes like a terrified girl being wrapped in web by a giant arachnid are too ickily intimate for kids (some adults, too). Kari Wuhrer, David Arquet te and Doug E. Doug are screaming bait. Acting dies first. 1 hr., 22 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Feardotcom (R) — New York City detective Mike Reilly (Stephen Dor ff) and health examiner Terry Huston investigate a series of violent murders. They determine

that each of the victims was logged on to a Web site, feardot.com, 48 hours before being killed; Reilly himself logs on to find out why the leather-clad temptress on the site is luring voyeurs to their deaths. Cast: Stephen Dor ff, Udo Kier, Natascha McElhone, Stephen Rea. The Good Girl (R) — Jennifer Aniston, as Justine in "The Good Girl," is trapped in a dead life made by safe, square choices. And so the final choice that confirms her "good girl" status is, in ef fect, telling us that she remains dead. Justine has a dud job working in an ugly Texas store, Retail Rodeo. She double-dips alienation at home, where husband Phil (John C. Reilly) is a mashed couch potato, zoning on TV, taking dope and trading quips with buddy Bubba (Tim Blake Nelson).

Desperate at 30, childless, bored half-stupid, Justine has a semi-secret af fair with a boyish co-worker, Holden (Jake Gyllenhaal). Justine's smar tness reeks of self-loathing and moral vacancy. Is feminism this comatose in Texas? Cast: Jennifer Aniston, John C. Reilly, Jake Gyllenhaal, Zooey Deschanel, Tim Blake Nelson.

Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Importance of Being Earnest (PG) — is the film version of Oscar Wilde’s classic comedy of mistaken identity. In 1890s London, Algernon Montcrief f runs into old friend Jack Wor thing, who is in town to propose to Algernon’s cousin. Algernon inadver tently discovers Jack’s secret; that Jack has an alter ego known as Ernest, and that Ernest is trying to woo a beautiful young woman named Cecily. When Algernon devises a plan to meet Cecily, Jack must find a way to set things straight. Cast: Ruper t Everet t, Colin Fir th, Judi Dench, Frances O’Connor, Reese Witherspoon. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins.

Juwanna Mann (PG-13) — Miguel A. Nunez Jr. is Jamal. The vain, preening NBA star is suspended for a burst of irate mooning and then full-frontal exposure on cour t. And then — inspired by a young girl whose love of the game moves him — he becomes Juwanna, a

“Scooby Doo”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

★★★— Worthy.

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S P I R I T

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M E T R O

“The Importance of Being Earnest”

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

0— Not worthy.

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5

fake female, who fires up a women's pro team. Vivica A. Fox is the team's reigning beauty, on whom Jamal has a cover t crush. The cour t action is all high points, no game. Gender comedy becomes a ruthless reduction of both sexes. Director Jesse Vaughan came from music videos, and should probably return. Hectic, vapid, almost witless, "Juwanna Mann" keeps jammin' across the goofs, then milking inane sentiment before stumbling to a blooper reel that is no dif ferent than the preceding inept movie. Cast: Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Kevin Pollak, Vivica A. Fox, Ginuwine, Tommy Davidson.

Running time: 1 hr., 26 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Lilo & Stitch (PG) — A cute Disney 'toon made in Florida but set in Hawaii, where darling Lilo turns a space crit ter into a pet. The animation is not computerized and has lovely watercolor ef fects, though the plot, voicework, Elvis tunes and product plugs are generically New Disney, not of Walt caliber. 1 hr., 20 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★1/2

Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (R) —

“Mar tin Lawrence Live: Runteldat” is a documentarystyle version of Lawrence’s bad-boy comedy, complete with commentary by the man himself and liberally mixed with pounding hip-hop beats. The stand-up comedy portion, where Lawrence is a solitary presence onstage, illuminated by a spotlight, contains personal anecdotes and social commentary. Cast: Mar tin Lawrence.

The Master of Disguise (PG) — Dana Carvey plays Pistachio Disguisey, which all by itself gives you the comedic essence. He's a perky waiter in an Italian restaurant in New York. Pistachio is heir to a family talent for magical transformation, possessors of "energico," who can morph into almost any thing. Pistachio's parents are abducted by a rich villain, envious of energico, played with almost obscene lack of comic appeal

by Brent Spiner. Carvey is cute, but he doesn't seem to have a shaped and role-shaping personality. He seems locked into skit rhy thm. Cast: Dana Carvey, Brent Spiner, Jennifer Esposito, James Brolin, Harold Gould, Edie McClurg. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Mr. Deeds (PG-13) — is an update or takeof f on the 1936 Frank Capra hit "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town." In that, Gary Cooper was a gentle, gallant rube who inherits a for tune, confounds the city slickers and radiates fuzzy ideals, while Depression audiences again got to ogle the idle (but frisky) rich. Now Adam Sandler is Longfellow Deeds, who inherits $40 billion from a genial old flake (Harve Presnell). Peter Gallagher is a fairly standard corporate wheeler as the sharpie running the vast estate. But as star repor ter Babe, Winona Ryder is game and slyly charming. The real ace is John Tur turro as Deed's new manservant, Emilio. It's a fond update and funny comedy, even making good use of John McEnroe (still cocky) and the Rev. Al Sharpton (dit to). Cast: Adam Sandler, John Tur turro, Winona Ryder, Peter Gallagher, Jared Harris, Erick Avari, Harve Presnell. Running time: 1 hr., 31 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ My Big Fat Greek Wedding (PG) — Unmarried Toula Por tokalos is a 30-year-old waitress in her parents’ Greek restaurant, Dancing Zorba’s. Vowing to change, she gets a makeover and takes a job in her aunt’s travel agency, where, newly confident, she meets handsome Ian Miller — a high-school teacher who is definitely not Greek. The tale is familiar: strong and fiercely commit ted to their ethnic roots family but ts heads with the outsider wanting to marry into the group. But “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” of fers enough in the way of wit to stifle the sitcom feel a film like this

might otherwise have. Cast: Nia Vardalos, John Corbet t, Louis Mandylor, Gia Carides, Joey Fatone.

Possession (PG-13) — Director and writer Neil LaBute has cast his favorite cynical actor, Aaron Eckhar t, in a gorgeously romantic film of A.S. Byat t's much esteemed novel. "Possession" drops Eckhar t into a totally English world (plus a patch of France), as an archival assistant at the British Museum in London. His Roland Mitchell lucks upon the hidden let ters of a Victorian poet, Randolph Henry Ash (Jeremy Nor tham).

Mitchell realizes he is on the trail of evidence revealing Ash's secret, then quite erotic, af fair with a poetess and painter, Christabel LaMot te (Jennifer Ehle), whose lesbian lover is chagrined. Roland zippers into alliance with a young professor at Lincoln University, the Ash/LaMot te specialist Maud Bailey (Gwyneth Paltrow).

The film looks wonder ful and has a silken, tick-tock interlock of the modern and Victorian segments. Cast: Aaron Eckhar t, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Ehle, Jeremy Nor tham, Anna Massey. Running time: 1 hr., 42 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Reign of Fire (PG-13) — Christian Bale and Mat thew McConaughey star as twin towers of testosterone who join forces to fight dragons that have pretty much destroyed the world. Bale serves as leader of the few English survivors of the dragon Holocaust and McConaughey arrives to help the crew as Van Zan the dragon slayer. But the special-ef fects beasts are the real star of the show. 1 hr., and 40 mins. (McCormick) ★★★ Road to Perdition (R) — Tom Hanks plays Michael Sullivan, an Irish-American hoodlum and family man in grim 1931, in the Quad Cities on the IllinoisIowa border. He's an enforcer and ar t ful killer, almost an adoptive son of bootleg mob boss John Rooney (Paul Newman), a patriarch stricken by inner rot.

Sullivan feels rot ted, too, but is an iron survivor. The movie has a solemn, dirgelike (but not dull) conviction of fated purpose. Tragedy must come, violently. It would be criminal here to spell out the exact cost to Sullivan, which spins him free of the Rooney gang, along with his now aware and endangered son Mike Jr. (Tyler Hoechlin). On the long roads and humble towns, they enact an almost archaic Greek vengeance upon the Rooneys. There is father-son bonding (and humor), yet we never forget that every thing is at stake. This story is so mor tal. Cast: Paul Newman, Tom Hanks, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Ciaran Hinds, Liam Aiken, Stanley Tucci, Jude Law. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Scooby Doo (PG) — is derived from the longestrunning TV car toon show (beginning in 1969 on CBS), and is mostly set in an island theme park. The 'toon gang loved by their TV fans — ginchy-dish Daphne, plain but brainy Velma, blond ego dude Fred (author of "Fred on Fred"), grinning par ty dude Shaggy — are now played by actors locked into one-note roles. Great Dane hero dog Scooby appears computer generated.

They go to Spooky Island to solve a criminal conspiracy, where special ef fects and cute theme park crit ters whiz by and the top villain is revealed to be ... a puppy.

This is one lollipop of a movie, OK for the 4- to 9-yearolds who like the TV show. 1 hr., 23 mins. ★★ Serving Sara (PG-13) — Should be served an eviction notice at every theater stuck with it. It isn't just bad TV, but a dismal reduction of bad TV. It stars Mat thew Perry, of TV's "Friends," as a fiercely dedicat-

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ed process server named Joe. And Elizabeth Hurley, mostly of the tabloids, but also a past "fox" for Austin Powers, plays Sara. Joe seeks to serve divorce papers from her rich jerk of a husband. There's another process server, Tony (Vincent Pastore). There is the self-anointed Cedric the Enter tainer as Ray, boss of the process of fice doing fat soul-bro schtick. There is no style. Zero. Almost nothing is timed well or delivers the goods. Cast: Elizabeth Hurley, Mat thew Perry, Bruce Campbell, Vincent Pastore, Amy Adams. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Signs (PG-13) — Mel Gibson plays Father Graham Hess, an Episcopal priest who lost his faith and retired his collar af ter his wife was killed in an auto accident.

He lives in an old farmhouse with two adorable kids, plus a younger brother (Joaquin Phoenix). Big, elegantly precise "crop signs" turn up in their cornfield. It's space aliens, and the movie teases us as the signs pile up.

The aliens show up, shoving clawed hands under doors but scared by steak knives, full of evil strength, yet not able to knock down the pathetic blockade of a fruit cellar. "Signs," though handsomely shot, seems meant for viewers who need to believe in tabloid aliens, and that we can beat them with plain-spun, homeland vir tues. It should be called "Sins" for compounding the sins of bad filming. Cast: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, M. Night Shyamalan, Cherry Jones. Running time: 1 hr., 46 mins. (Elliot t) ★ S1m0ne (PG-13) — The computerized beauty is no actress, but she is a star. So is Al Pacino as "visionary" director Vik tor Taransky, who lucks into the incredibly high-tech sof tware and gizmo for a movie star to save his new film. Winona Ryder walked of f the lot hissing, and Vik tor's ex-wife (Catherine Keener), the studio head, has pulled the plug. Soon Vik tor has revived his film with faux-fem Simone, into which he has merged elements of Grace Kelly, Lauren Bacall and Marilyn Monroe. Simone is not only fab-o as star of Vik tor's "Sunrise Sunset," but an instant celebrity. There is honestly funny head-scratching here about the real and fake, on screen and in life, and about the elements of stardom, and about the need for personality to give beauty a soul. Cast: Al Pacino, Catherine Keener, Winona Ryder, Evan Rachel Wood, Jay Mohr. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Spider-Man (PG-13) — Sweetly dorky Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is bit ten by a new form of lab spider on a school trip. He morphs into a speed master with arachnid powers, but keeps his real identity masked from the girl literally nex t door, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). Spider-Man casts webs from his hand, climbs and leaps around New York and battles a capitalist nut turned Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe). Always sidelined is the nut's son, Peter's best friend, Harry (James Franco). The film is high-craf ted and amusing, though the POW! style so right for Marvel pages can be numbing in this tech-loaded, hypersonic approach. "Spider-Man" has the heat of a newborn franchise. The costumed hero finally makes a brilliant match with Old Glory, in a gleaming Manhat tan. Cast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco, Clif f Rober tson, Rosemary Harris. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (G) — A sweetly bland DreamWorks car toon film about a bold horse that runs across much of the Old West, his thoughts spoken by Mat t Damon, his adventures doused in Bryan Adams tunes that are like a floral tribute to Rod Stewar t. The horse action is swif t, and borrowed John Ford bits can mean nothing to modern kids. 1 hr., 25 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (PG) — A cheer ful theme park of a comedy about

junior spies, with a bigger budget and more inventive

fun than the 2001 original (the plot is no advance).

Rober t Rodriguez directed, wrote, helped with the digital ef fects and gizmo touches, including excellent creatures. The many Hispanic rif fs do not land with PC heaviness, and the lively cast includes Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara as the main kids, plus Antonio Banderas, Steve Buscemi, Carla Gugino, Alan Cumming, Bill Pa x ton, Tony Shalhoub, Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin and (still macho at 81) Ricardo Montalban. 1 hr., 27 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (PG) — This is No. 5 in the series and is visually

spectacular (entirely filmed in digital, and projected that way in some theaters). It moves swif tly and has action payof fs, but George Lucas is still a turgid story teller, and stif f dialogue drags the actors down to mere plot function too of ten. Ewan McGregor seems to be coming into his own as wise Obi-Wan. 2 hrs., 23 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Sum of All Fears (PG-13) — Another morbid Tom Clancy nightmare of big power and dire danger (the nuclear devil unleashed), with a trivial romance trampled by politics and spy games. Phil Alden Robinson directed with spruce if pompous flair, and the nerve-raked cast has Ben Af fleck as the hero, Morgan Freeman, Alan Bates, James Cromwell, Liev Schreiber and (ace as the Russian prez) Ciaran Hinds.

2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Swimfan (PG-13) — "Swimfan" is a high school stalker thriller; this time, it’s new girl Madison obsessing over her unrequited at tention to the school’s star swimmer, a state champion who hopes to one day compete in the Olympics. Cast: Erika Christensen, Jesse Bradford, Shiri Appleby, Dan Hedaya.

Undercover Brother (PG-13) — The source was a Web comedy site, and it's a derivation of old bla xploiters, "In Living Color " and the Austin Powers goofs, but this lampoon of black heroics is funny in a pumped-up way. Eddie Grif fin wears the power Afro as the main bro, and Malcolm D. Lee also got good stuf f from Chris Kat tan, Denise Richards, Dave Chappelle, Aunjanue Ellis and Billy Dee Williams as a Colin Powelllike general who wants to be the new Col. Sanders. 1 hr., 26 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Undisputed (R) — What would happen if a Mike Tyson-like boxer met his match while serving time in the big house? That's the premise of this slugfest. In one corner, we have Wesley Snipes as Monroe Hutchen, resident champ of Sweetwater Prison. In the other corner, there's George "Iceman" Chambers, the undisputed world heavyweight champion in Sweetwater af ter being convicted of rape. The two are on a collision course engineered by a former mob boss (Peter Falk) with deep pockets and a fondness for the f-word. Af ter minor scuf fles here and there, the two fighters set tle once and for all who deserves the title of champ. Cast: Ving Rhames, Wesley Snipes, Jon Seda, Peter Falk, Fisher Stevens, Wes Studi, Ed Lover and Master P. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★ XXX (PG-13) — Vin Diesel is buf f, which is surely the main point of his playing "edge spor ts" thrill-seeker turned CIA agent Xander Cage, but he has glints of boyish vulnerability. As he grooves into playing the new agent recruited by the agency's top dude (Samuel L. Jackson), the movie finds a rhy thm that is like a more masculine, bulked-up "Barbarella." The plot is junk, about a gang of ex-Red Army crazies led by a satanic Slavic slime (Mar ton Csokas), nihilists eager to destroy the world with a superweapon. It's another movie where you must believe, or giggle. Cast: Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson, Asia Argento, Mar ton Csokas, Danny Trejo. Running time: 1 hr., 44 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

23

Cinema: Close-Up

M E T R O

T

here hasn’t been a movie about crazy, lovesick teen stalkers in a while, so “Swimfan” will fill the void nicely. Jesse Bradford stars as an up-and-coming high school swim champion whose one-night stand with an increasingly unhinged young woman (Erika Christensen of “Traffic”) leads to bloody disaster. This is so close to “Fatal Attraction” re-tooled for teen audiences that Michael Douglas gets a “very special thanks” in the credits.

For the Connecticut-born Bradford, “Swimfan” marks another step up on his leisurely rise to marquee status. Since his commercial debut at 8 months old (playing a Q-Tip), Bradford has distinguished himself in various films, both large and small, including “Far From Home: The Adventures of Yellow Dog,” “Hackers” and “Bring It On.” He received strong critical notice after starring in Steven Soderbergh’s 1993 movie, “King of the Hill.” This year, the 23-year-old Bradford has come into his own, starring first in the sci-fi family comedy “Clockstoppers” and now, “Swimfan.”

Q. Was it easy getting in shape for this role?

A. Uh, no. I mean, it was a really solid commitment. But it was easy in that I love to exercise; it doesn’t put me out. I’d

rather be exercising than most other things, really. On any given day, I’d rather be out running around playing sports, because that’s what I grew up doing. The regimen that I was on for this movie was very difficult. I was swimming every single day, at some points 50 to 70 laps a day. And I would ride my bike a couple miles to the pool, plus I was weight-training like a swimmer. I’m happy to do all that, but I have a bad sweet tooth and giving up sweets, that was painful.

Q. Why does your character in “Swimfan” cheat on his girlfriend?

A. It’s because he suddenly feels like he’s trapped. He’s in love, it’s great but, at the same time, he wasn’t ready for his girlfriend to say, “Hey, why don’t I drop my lifelong dream just to follow you to college?” That’s enough to freak out anybody.

So he feels a little weird about that and tries to assert himself, and it ends up really backfiring on him.

Q. Did you ever have a female fan who just would not go away?

A. Obviously, never to such an extreme degree, but there were a couple things like that. There was this one girl I broke up with three days before Valentine’s Day. We were in the very early stages of the relationship, but she really freaked out. It turned out she liked me a lot more than I

Gene Page

Jesse Bradford Comes Into his Own in “Swimfan” By Joey Berlin

liked her. I think everybody has been on both sides of that equation. I know I have.

Q. Doing a romantic scene is always awkward, but how about when you are also filming it in a pool?

A. Well, just the fact that you’re making out with someone you were hired to, it’s weird, because it’s not natural. It’s not you and another person really finding that magic moment when all of a sudden it comes together. It’s like, OK, we’re hired to kiss now. It’s a completely different kind of thing. And that was my first sex

scene. So that was a different ballgame altogether. For the both of us to be straight-up faking it, that was weird. And being in the water only made things colder and slower. It made things complicated, but maybe it made things easier somehow, too. We made the best out of it. We’re both professional actors.

Q. At what point do you say, “This is it.

I’m never playing a teen-ager again?”

A. Now. It comes now. Although I could make exceptions to that rule, because I know that I still look like 20, tops, so a great opportunity might still arise. But I’ve reached that point where I don’t want to play high school any more. For my own emotional sanity, I need to start playing my own age.

Q. What are you doing next?

A. I’m taking a little time off, actually.

I’m going to travel across the country with some friends. That’s the plan, anyway, and I think it’s going to happen. So that’ll be cool. We’re going to take a month and do it real slow to have a great time. We can stop wherever we want. It’s going to be the first time ever where I’m not going to be even auditioning or receiving scripts or trying to get that next job. I’ve never done it before. I’ve been acting since I was 8 months old. I’m going to just live life for a minute.

Cinema: Preview

D

irector Michael Caton-Jones’ new drama appropriately begins with an epitaph to the titular town in which it’s set. The opening statement describes the once booming seaside town of Long Beach, a vacation community just beyond the grim reach of Manhattan. So dubbed “the city by the sea,” the Long Island town has since become a run-down, dilapidated wasteland. And for Caton-Jones, that image of erosion and breakdown is a central one, as everything in “City by the Sea” hinges on the notion of good things gone bad. But for all its neatly packaged symbolism, this Robert De Niro vehicle is little more than a compulsory tale of loss and redemption; even though “the city by the sea” can’t be saved with a good ol’ fashioned Hollywood ending, the people in its film can.

Based on an article that appeared in Esquire magazine in 1997 called “Mark of a Murderer,” “City by the Sea” tells the true story of a celebrated New York City homicide detective investigating a murder in which his estranged son is the chief witness.

Shamed by the notorious conviction of his own father, De Niro’s world-weary Vincent

LaMarca has separated himself from his notorious family name by maintaining an exemplary record on the force. Now, living in Manhattan with a long-term girlfriend (Frances McDormand), Vincent’s former life as a failed husband and errant father are all but a distant memory.

But when the top cop begins investigating a case in which his son Joey (James Franco) is involved, he’s unwillingly drawn back into a past he’s continually trying to forget. Now he must face the son he hasn’t seen or spoken to in over 14 years, as both a cop and a father.

Caton-Jones, who’s built a career out of making watchable but unmemorable fare like “This Boy’s Life” and “Rob Roy,” has a strong and compelling story here, but is finally unable to do anything notable with it.

Disregarding the onslaught of coincidences which propel the action forward (the most outstanding being that, out of all the cops in the NYPD, LaMarca is assigned the one homicide his kid may have committed), “City By the Sea” has a strong hook with its tale of an embittered father and son who hate each other as much as they need each other. From the outset, it seems like Caton-Jones also has fertile ground to work in a strong angle about

two men with separately haunted pasts.

And, as James Franco’s sunken-eyed junkie wanders the dilapidated alleys of Long Beach, the pressing notion that this town, like its prodigal son, is a mere shadow of its former self never leaves the screen.

But the over-arching parallel between the internal and external setting quickly turns into a trite best of times/worst of times motif and Caton-Jones has little more in the way of notable undercurrents and backdrops.

Shot on location in Asbury Park, N.J. (chosen for its own history as a former beach resort which has now become seedy and rundown), you can almost hear the strained chords of a Bruce Springsteen song trying to push through in “City By the Sea.” Springsteen, who grew up in and around Asbury Park and dedicated one of his first albums to the crumbling Garden State town, sings over and over again about decaying dreams and American values. And, no doubt, the LaMarcas would be a classic Springsteen clan – honest, blue collar, hard-working folks whose lives took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. Unfortunately, for all its visual posturing, Caton-Jones’ film never achieves the heartbreaking clarity that

By Racheal Deahl

Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures

Compelling Characters Not Enough to Make “City by the Sea” Notable

Springsteen hits on time and again, a clarity that lays bare what it means to ache, to be young, to be alone and to be forever lost in the past.

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Movie Clock REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 9/6 - 9/12 City by the Sea (R) Fri-Sat: 1:10, 4:15, 7:25, 9:55, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 1:10, 4:15, 7:25, 9:55 Swimfan (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:30, 4:35, 7:40, 10:00, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 1:30, 4:35, 7:40, 10:00 Feardotcom (R) 2:15, 5:00, 7:55, 10:35 Possession (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:25, 4:55, 7:40, 10:10, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 2:25, 4:55, 7:40, 10:10 The Good Girl (R) Fri-Sat: 1:40, 4:05, 7:30, 10:05, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 1:40, 4:05, 7:30, 10:05 S1m0ne (PG-13) 1:30, 3:55, 7:00, 9:55 Serving Sara (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:20, 3:50, 7:10, 9:30, 12:10; Sun-Thur: 1:20, 3:50, 7:10, 9:30 Undisputed (R) Fri-Sat: 1:55, 4:50, 7:50, 10:25, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 1:55, 4:50, 7:50, 10:25 My Big Fat Greek Wedding (PG) Fri-Sat: 1:45, 4:10, 7:10, 9:30, 11:55; Sun-Thur: 1:45, 4:10, 7:10, 9:30 Blue Crush (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:05, 4:30, 6:55, 9:25, 12:00; Sun-Thurs: 2:05, 4:30, 6:55, 9:25 XXX (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:00, 1:25, 4:00, 4:20, 7:00, 7:30, 9:40, 10:20, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 1:00, 1:25, 4:00, 4:20, 7:00, 7:30, 9:40, 10:20 Blood Work (R) Fri-Sat: 7:20, 9:50, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 7:20, 9:50 Spy Kids 2 (PG) Fri-Sat: 2:00, 4:25, 7:05, 9:35, 11:55; Sun-Thur: 2:00, 4:25, 7:05, 9:35 Signs (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:05, 1:35, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15, 12:25; SunThur: 1:05, 1:35, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15 Martin Lawrence (R) 2:10, 4:40, 8:05, 10:40 Austin Powers in Goldmember (PG-13) 2:20, 5:00, 8:00, 10:30 Stuart Little 2 (PG) 1:10, 3:10, 5:05 Road to Perdition (R) 7:35, 10:20 Spider-Man/Men in Black II Double Feature (PG-13) 2:30, 7:20 Lilo and Stitch (PG) 1:00, 3:05, 5:10 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/6 - 9/12 City by the Sea (R) Fri-Sun: 2:15, 4:35, 7:25, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 4:35, 7:25, 9:55 Swimfan (PG-13) Fri: 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; MonThur: 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 Importance of Being Earnest (PG) Fri: 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:20; Sat-Sun: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 7:20, 9:20 Spider-Man/Men in Black II Double Feature (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:00, 7:40; Mon-Thur: 7:40 Feardotcom (R) Fri-Sun: 2:30, 9:50; MonThur: 9:50 Serving Sara (PG-13) Fri: 3:10, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:10, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35;

Mon-Thur: 5:15, 7:25, 9:35 Blue Crush (PG-13) Fri: 3:15, 5:25, 7:35, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 3:15, 5:25, 7:35, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 7:35, 9:50 XXX (PG-13) Fri: 4:15, 7:15, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 Spy Kids 2 (PG) Fri: 3:00, 5:05, 7:10, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 3:00, 5:05, 7:10, 9:15; MonThur: 5:05, 7:10, 9:15 Signs (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 7:00, 9:25; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 7:00, 9:25 Master of Disguise (PG) Fri: 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 Austin Powers in Goldmember (PG-13) Fri: 3:45, 5:45, 7:45, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:45, 3:45, 5:45, 7:45, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:45, 7:45, 9:45 Road to Perdition (R) 4:55, 7:20 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/6 - 9/12 City by the Sea (R) Fri: 4:30, 7:10, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 2:10, 4:30, 7:10, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:10, 9:30 Swimfan (PG-13) Fri: 5:25, 7:25, 9:45; SatSun: 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 7:25, 9:45 Feardotcom (R) Fri: 5:30, 7:30, 9:50; SatSun: 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 7:30, 9:50 XXX (PG-13) Fri: 4:15, 7:00, 9:20; Sat-Sun: 2:00, 4:15, 7:00, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 4:15, 7:00, 9:20 Blood Work (R) Fri: 4:25, 7:25, 9:40; SatSun: 2:15, 4:25, 7:25, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 4:25, 7:25, 9:40 Spy Kids 2 (PG) Fri: 4:20, 7:05, 9:15; SatSun: 2:05, 4:20, 7:05, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 7:05, 9:15 Signs (PG-13) Fri: 4:45, 7:20, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 2:30, 4:45, 7:20, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 4:45, 7:20, 9:35 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/6 - 9/12 Eight Legged Freaks (PG-13) 2:15, 5:05, 7:30, 10:00 Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood (PG13) 2:10, 4:55, 7:05, 9:35 Mr. Deeds (PG-13) 2:10, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50 Country Bears (G) 2:00, 4:25, 7:45, 9:55 Sum of All Fears (PG-13) 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 Scooby Doo (PG) 2:35, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45 Reign of Fire (PG-13) 2:05, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40 Crocodile Hunter (PG) 2:25, 4:35, 7:25, 9:50 Bourne Identity (PG-13) 2:20, 5:00, 7:35, 9:55 Spirit (G) 2:40, 4:45 Juwanna Mann (PG-13) 2:45, 4:55, 7:00, 9:30 Star Wars: Episode II (PG) 2:30, 5:15, 8:00 Undercover Brother (PG-13) 7:40, 10:05

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Auditions THE AUGUSTA CHORALE will hold auditions for new members Sept. 9, 16 and 23 at the Gilber t Lambuth Chapel of Paine College. Call 481-8102 to schedule an audition.

COLUMBIA COUNTY CHORAL SOCIETY OPEN AUDITIONS AND REHEARSALS every Tuesday evening at First Baptist Church of Evans. For more information, call 364-5920 or visit www.ccchoralsociety.org.

USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGRAM now open.

Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288.

Exhibitions SEPTEMBER ART EXHIBITS AT COLUMBIA COUNTY LIBRARIES: Georgene Wright exhibits at the Gibbs Library and Katrina Hintze exhibits at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call the Gibbs Library, 863-1946, or the Euchee Creek Branch Library, 556-0594, for information.

AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings beginning Sept. 9 and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments. Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 202-0091 or e-mail bandforaugusta@aol.com.

“A SENSE OF PLACE: CONTINUITY AND CHANGE IN THE NEW SOUTH” exhibit up through Oct. 4 in the Main Gallery at Ware’s Folly. Reception and awards presentation, free and open to the public, Sept. 19, 6-8 p.m., features gallery talk and awards presentation by Karen Comer. 722-5495.

AIKEN CHORAL SOCIETY will conduct auditions for new members Sept. 10 at Smith Hall, adjacent to St. Mary Help of Christians Church in Aiken. Auditions begin at 7:15 p.m., with rehearsal immediately following. Regular rehearsals held Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. in Smith Hall. Contact Antoine Cordahi, (803) 648-1252, or Bill Collins, (803) 642-9651.

AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART: “Contemporary Realist Works” and “Contemporary Non-Objective Works” through Oct 6; “Will Henry Stevens” through Sept. 29; “Personal Visions” through Oct. 20 and “Contemporary Works on Paper” through Oct. 27. For more information, call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org.

SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. Held at 600 Mar tintown Road in Nor th Augusta. Contact Mildred Blain at 736-7740 or Mary Norman at 279-6499.

“AUGUSTA REMEMBERS 9/11” exhibition at the Augusta Museum of History opens Sept. 7 and runs through Oct. 6.

The Augusta Museum of History is open Tues.-Sat., 10 a.m.5 p.m. and Sun., 1-5 p.m. Free admission offered on Sundays. Call 722-8454 for more information or visit www.augustamuseum.org.

Education ART FACTORY FALL SESSION begins Sept. 9 and offers classes for young people and adults in visual ar ts, dance and drama. Cost based on family size and income, and tuition assistance is available. For more information, call 731-0008 or e-mail ar t factoryinc@comcast.net.

“COMMUNITY ARTISTS UNITE: SEPTEMBER 11TH REFLECTIVE IMAGES” exhibit opens Sept. 11 with a reception from 5-7 p.m. at the Cot ton Exchange Conference and Banquet Center. Exhibit on display through Oct. 1. For more information, call 724-7501.

AUGUSTA THEATRE COMPANY ACTING CLASSES: Fall Quar ter runs Sept. 9-Nov. 16. Classes offered in voice and movement, introduction to acting and acting for film and television and are available for ages 8 through adult. For information, call 481-9040.

SOUTHERN MOON POTTERY GALLERY AND STUDIO features works by Jackie Gerstein, Liz Verecrusse, Anne FallisElliot, Craig Bird, Deborah Harris, Peggy Cowan, Bob Malone, Brian Thorpe, Valerie Goetz, Mary Grant and Donna Proctor.

The studio also offers classes and programs for children over 3 years of age and adults. Call (803) 641-2309.

GERTRUDE HERBERT AUTUMN QUARTER CLASSES BEGIN Sept. 12 and run through December. Classes and workshops available for adults and children in a wide variety of media.

GHIA members receive discounted tuition. For a course catalog, call the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t, 722-5495.

CERAMICS CLASSES at the Weeks Center Ceramics House in Aiken. Fees include one class per week and students can choose any class time: Mondays, 9 a.m. to noon or 6-9 p.m.; Tuesdays, 6-9 p.m.; or Wednesdays, 9 a.m. to noon. $90 for September-May, $60 for September-December or JanuaryMay or $30 per month. Call (803) 642-7631 for info.

BALLROOM DANCE LESSONS at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Class meets Tuesdays, Sept. 10-Oct. 15 from 7:308:30 p.m. Cost is $40 per couple for Aiken city residents and $60 for all others; registration accepted in pairs only.

Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

ECLECTIC DESIGN GALLERY is currently displaying works

by Kennith Humphreys, Dave Shore, Priscilla Hollingswor th and museum pieces from Africa, Korea and India. Open 12:30-5 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday and until 9 p.m. First Fridays. Call 724-1010 for more information.

BANKER DEARING GALLERY features paintings by Karen Banker, pot tery by Julia Dearing, charcoal drawings by Mat thew Whit ford, photography by Susan Lucas and the work of Neil Combs. Call 823-1060 for more information.

“DE-MYTHING THE GODDESS” EXHIBIT through Sept. 29 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History includes paintings, writings and photography relevant to historical and current perceptions of women’s self-image. Works by Rhian Swain-Giboney. Admission to the museum is $3 adults, $1 students. Call 651-8712 for information.

SAVAGE GALLERY EXHIBIT showcases the pot tery of David

Prior (Jamie Grant, right) confesses to his lover, Louis (Jonathan Marcantoni, left) that he has AIDS in the play “Angels in America, Part I: Millenium Approaches.” Play runs Sept. 5-7 at the Bon Air. Call (706) 481-9040 for information.

Stuar t and sculpture by John B. Savage. For more information, call the gallery at 736-3336.

ARNOLD GALLERY in Aiken features new work by Mary Alice Lockhar t and Al Beyer. Call (803) 502-1100.

ART ON BROAD features pot tery by local ar tists Jerry Pruit t and Carol Craig. Also features oil paintings by Russ Bonin and Raku pot tery by Peter Alsen. Call 722-1028.

AT THE MARY PAULINE GALLERY through Sept. 21: Arless Day exhibits “Collages & Unique Variations.” Call 724-9542 or visit www.marypaulinegallery.com for details.

CARL PURDY exhibits his work at Borders Books and Music through the end of September. Upcoming exhibits include: Alex McCain in October and Rober t Lee in November. Call Borders Books and Music at 737-6962.

Dance LORD OF THE DANCE Sept. 26 at Bell Auditorium. Tickets for 7:30 p.m. show priced as follows: $47.50 floor, $42.50 first balcony, $35.50 second and third balcony. Tickets available through TicketMaster, online at www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at 828-7700.

AUGUSTA DANCE THEATRE presents “The Velveteen Rabbit, Swan Lake Act II and Other Shor ter Works” Sept. 78 at the Grover C. Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Center at Augusta State University. Sept. 7 per formance at 8 p.m.; Sept. 8 per formance at 2 p.m. Tickets are $12 for adults and $10 for students and seniors. For more information, call Augusta Dance Theatre at 860-1852.

SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults.

Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5 for members, $7 for non-members, and are available at the door; free dance lessons at 7 p.m. For more information, call 736-8004.

Music SCREAM TOUR with recording ar tists Grits, KJ-52, Justifide, Big Fat Jam and Jonah 33 Sept. 10, 7:30 p.m., at the New

Hope Worship Center. $8 suggested donation at the door. For more information, call 868-6410 or e-mail cafeicthus@aol.com.

JAZZ ARTIST WYCLIFFE GORDON per forms at “A Social Affair” Sept. 14 at American Legion Post No. 212 in Aiken.

Dinner is at 7:30 p.m. and enter tainment star ts at 9 p.m.

Tickets are $15 per person or $25 per couple. Advance tickets only; available from Smith-Hazel Recreation Center, (803) 642-7635. Wycliffe Gordon also per forms at “An Evening of the Gospel,” Sept. 15 at 6 p.m. at Victory Temple A.O.H. Church of God in Burnet town, S.C. Pre-concer t workshop Sept. 12-14 under the direction of the CSRA Musician’s Guild. For more information, call (803) 652-8872.

COMMUNITY HEALING MEDITATION DRUMMING CIRCLE hosted every third Monday of the month by IDRUM2U, the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio. Held 7-9 p.m. at the G.L. Jackson Conference Center, 1714 Nor th Leg Cour t. Fee is $5 or a donation of canned goods for the Golden Harvest Food Bank. All are welcome and drums will be available to rent. For info, phone the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio, 228-3200.

Theater “PRAY FOR ME, DADDY, I DON’T WANNA GO!” starring Sherman Hemsley, will be at the Bell Auditorium Sept. 14 at 8 p.m. Floor tickets are $24.50 in advance and $26.50 the day of the show; balcony tickets are $22.50 in advance and $24.50 the day of the show. Call 724-2400 or 828-7700 for tickets.

“H.M.S. PINAFORE” will be presented by the Augusta Opera Sept. 12-14 at 7:30 p.m. with a matinee per formance Sept.

15 at 3 p.m. Held at the Davidson Fine Ar ts Theatre. Tickets are $12-$14 with student, senior and group discounts available. For tickets, call 826-4710 or visit the Opera office in Sacred Hear t Cultural Center.

“ANGELS IN AMERICA, PART I: MILLENNIUM APPROACHES” Sept. 5-7. Ticket prices are $15 for evening per formances and $10 for matinee per formances. Tickets may be purchased by calling the Augusta Theatre Company’s box office at 481-9040 or online at www.augustatheatre.com.

“PLAZA SUITE” Sept. 13-14, 20-21 and 26-28 at For t

Gordon Dinner Theatre. Tickets are $30 adult, $28 for seniors (65 and over). Call the box office at 793-8552 or visit www.for tgordon.com/theatre.htm#plaza.

JOB FAIR held at For t Gordon Sept. 5, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., is open to the public. Held at the U.S. Army Reserve Center, Building 14401 on 15th Street. For more information, call 791-0795.

MURDER AT THE PARTRIDGE INN: “LAST WILL & TESTAMENT” Sept. 15, Oct. 20 and Nov. 17 at the Par tridge Inn. Dinner buffet served at 7:30 p.m. For tickets, call 737-8888.

AIKEN’S MAKIN’ Sept. 13-14 in downtown Aiken features ar ts and craf ts, family enter tainment and concessions.

Contact the Aiken Chamber of Commerce, (803) 641-1111, for information.

prizes awarded. For entry information, contact Pat Becton at 863-7645 or 228-1661 or Debbie Zapata at 863-3754.

“AUGUSTA’S 2 FOR $9” TICKETS of fer a special deal for admission to two of Riverwalk’s at tractions: Augusta Golf and Gardens and For t Discovery. Of fer valid through Sept.

30. Available at ticket of fices of either at traction. Call Augusta Golf and Gardens at 724-4443 or For t Discovery at 821-0200.

S E AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: Swamp Saturday, 9:30 P T

a.m. Sept. 7; Weekday Volunteer Educator Training, 10 a.m.3 p.m. Sept. 10; Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Cleanup Day, 5 9-11 a.m. Sept. 14; Family Dinner at Phinizy Swamp Nature 2 Park, 6-7:30 p.m. Sept. 19; Full Moon Nature Hike, 9-11 0 p.m. Sept. 21. For more info, phone 828-2109.

RIVERBANKS ZOO AND GARDEN EXTENDED HOURS: Admission gates open at 9 a.m. and close at 5 p.m.

Weekday admission is 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Regular admission is $7.75 adults, $5.25 for children ages 3-12. Call (803) 7798717 or visit www.riverbanks.org.

GRANDPARENTS APPRECIATION DAY Sept. 8 at Augusta Golf and Gardens. 2 for 1 admission from 1-5 p.m.; lawn chairs and picnic baskets welcome. Call 724-4443 or visit www.gghf.org.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Telfair Street. Open 10 a.m.

5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages five and under. 724-0436.

CUTTING HORSE SHOW Sept. 6-8 at the Hippodrome in Nor th Augusta. Also at the Hippodrome, there will be a Super Show Barrel Show, Sept. 13-15. Contact Susan Hancock at 823-3325.

25TH ANNUAL WHISKEY ROAD R ACE Sept. 7 in Aiken.

Five races; first race begins at 7:30 a.m. Call Citizens Park, (803) 642-7761.

AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters.

Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Tues.-Sat.; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under.

Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon.

Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday.

Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free.

724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Museums THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. ThursdayMonday. For more information, call 556-3448.

M E T R O

S P I MISS COLUMBIA COUNTY FAIR SCHOLARSHIP PAGEANT R Sept. 21. Open to single ladies ages 17-24 and includes swim- I suit, evening gown and talent por tions. Scholarships and other T

Attractions

FORT DISCOVERY/NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 270 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Half-price admission daily af ter 3 p.m. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

47

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m.

Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues. through Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

A rock climbing wall belay certification course will be held Sept. 12Oct. 17 at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. For information, phone (803) 642-7631.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART: Tenth Anniversary Tour Sept. 8 at 2 p.m. is free; “The Ar t of Feng Shui” will be discussed at 6 p.m. Sept. 10. Call 724-7501 for information.

AT THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY: “Keepers of the Faith: A History of Organized Religion in Augusta” exhibit runs through Nov. 10. 2002 R. Roy Goodwin II Memorial Lecture Series held Sept. 17, Oct. 1 and Oct. 25 at 7 p.m.

Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org.

Special Events CSRA COLLEGE NIGHT 2002 Sept. 10, 5 p.m. at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. For more information, contact Cindy Buchanan, (803) 725-6276, or Tom Williams, (803) 725-4832.

FORT GORDON 9/11 MEMORY WALK Sept. 10, 5 p.m.

Ceremony begins with program in the gazebo area of Freedom Park, then continues with walk around Bar ton Field to honor victims of the at tacks. Service of Remembrance also held at For t Gordon, 9 a.m. on Sept. 11 at the flagpole/Signal Towers Cour tyard. Call 791-3880.

“BUILDING BRIDGES: MUSLIMS AND AMERICA POST SEPT. 11” is an open house on Sept. 7 sponsored by the Islamic Society of Augusta in an effor t to dispel myths surrounding Islam. Information booths available from 2-3 p.m. and 5-6 p.m. 3-6 p.m. program features questions and answers, information on the basics of Islam, ethnic food and more. Contact the Islamic Society of Augusta, 868-7278, or visit www.isaugusta.com.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Sept. 7 at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza. From 7 to 11 p.m., enjoy live enter tainment by BlackEyed Susan and Redheaded Stepchild, as well as food and family-friendly activities. Call 821-1754 for details.

BOOK SIGNING AT BORDERS BOOKS AND MUSIC Sept. 7, Bruce Gibbs signs his book “Giving Away the Keys.” For info, call Borders at 737-6962.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY CIVIC CENTER JOB FAIR Sept. 14, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. in Meeting Room A at the Civic Center. Available par t-time positions for custodians, ushers, ticket takers, t-shir t security, banquet staff, concessions staff, distribution staff. 722-3521.

AIKEN REMEMBERS CEREMONY held 7:30 p.m. Sept. 10 at the Student Center of Aiken Technical College. Musical prelude at 7 p.m. by the For t Gordon Army Signal Band. Hosted

by Master of Ceremonies Brad Means and includes speaker Fred Bischoff of the New York Fire Depar tment. 8:30 p.m. conclusion with bagpipe escor t and silent balloon glow. For more information, call Jim Morris of the Marine Corps League at (803) 641-0335 or Kathy Cleveland of the Aiken Remembers Commit tee at (803) 663-3636.

PATRIOT’S DAY LUNCHEON Sept. 11, 11:30 a.m. at Bell Auditorium. For information, call Mark Gibbons, 821-1831.

BORDER BASH celebrates the football rivalry between the University of Georgia and the University of South Carolina Sept. 13, 5:30 p.m. at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza. Par ty with enter tainment by the Swingin’ Medallions, the UGA and USC cheerleaders and the Cat Daddies. $5 admission fee benefits programs at the Medical College of Georgia Children’s Medical Center. Lawn chairs welcome. For information or to volunteer, call 721-3957 or contact Claire Poteet at 721-4004.

ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA FESTIVAL Sept. 20-22 at Riverwalk. Live music, dancing, ethnic food, children’s art activities and more. Germany will be highlighted this year. $3 badges available at the gates; children 10 and under admitted free. Call 826-4702 or visit www.augustaarts.com for information.

LOW-COST RABIES VACCINATIONS: Augusta-Richmond County Animal Control holds low-cost rabies vaccination clinics the four th Sunday of every month for privately owned pets. $8 per animal. 1 p.m. at Superpetz. Dogs must be on a leash and cats in a carrier. Puppies and kit tens must be three months old and current for all vaccinations. Schedule subject to change, so please call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town COLOSSAL FILM CRAWL Sept. 12 in Columbia, S.C. Multivenue film and video festival celebrates shor t films and videos by independent and alternative ar tists in the Southeast. For information, phone Amanda Presley, (803) 765-0707, ex t. 122.

GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME GOLF TOURNAMENT Sept.

9 at Cuscowilla in Eatonton, Ga. Registration at 9:30 a.m. with a shotgun star t at 11 a.m. and awards ceremony following the tournament. Registration is $150 per person or $600 per team. Call (706) 724-4443.

NETHERWORLD HAUNTED HOUSE open Sept. 13-Nov. 3; open on weekends only through the end of September and daily star ting Oct. 1. Located in the Georgia Antique and Design Center in Norcross, Ga. $20 combo price for two haunted houses or $13 for the Inner Sanctum only. All ages admit ted, but parental guidance is suggested. Call the Netherworld hotline at (404) 608-2484 or visit www.fearworld.com for more information.

“OVER THE LINE: THE ART AND LIFE OF JACOB LAWRENCE” exhibit through Sept. 8 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta. For more information, call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org on the Web. ADOPTION INFORMATION SESSION Sept. 7, 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the Independent Adoption Center in Tucker, Ga. Call 1-800-385-4016 to make reservations.

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “The Mystique of Rene Magrit te: Five Surrealist Paintings From the Menil Collection, Houston,” from Sept. 7 to Dec. 1; “Remembering New York: Photographs of Wolf Von Dem Bussche,” Sept.

10-15; “Building the Collection: American Sculpture,” Sept.

7-Nov. 3; “Beyond Surrealism: Selections From the Permanent Collection,” Sept. 7-Dec. 1. (404) 733-HIGH. 2002 SOUTH CAROLINA TOBACCO FESTIVAL Sept. 6-8 in Lake City, S.C. Events include ar ts and craf ts, a street dance, tobacco tying and stringing contest, hot dog eating contest, water balloon wars, beauty pageant, motorcycle

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48 M E T R O S P I R I T

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years

First Friday Events

1987-2002 2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK

1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

Free Automotive Ads For Our Readers This First Friday, paintings from the “See Yourself in Art” community art project will be auctioned off at the Morris Museum of Art. Elvis will also be in the building – impersonator Jeff Barnes entertains. Call the Morris at 724-7501 for details.

SEE PAGE 63

FIRST FRIDAY AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART: Elvis impersonator Jeff Barnes performs from 5:307:30 p.m.; 6:30 p.m. gallery spotlight tour, “Art as Icon”; adult art workshop; “See Yourself in Art” auction.

For more information, call the museum, 724-7501.

Salsa Picante, DJ Guillermo and German. 724-8880.

FIRST FRIDAY WITH DJ VEGAS at Modjeska. Call 303-9700 for details.

GENSHEER’S ART GALLERY features the works of Emory Dallas in September. For info, call 481-0069.

JOHN S. KROK PHOTOGR APHY EXHIBIT at the Metro Cof feehouse through the end of September.

Call 722-6468.

TRAVELER UNKNOWN performs First Friday, Sept. 6, at Augusta Golf and Gardens from 9 a.m. until 9 p.m.

Advance tickets now available for $2; garden members admit ted free of charge. Lawn chairs, coolers and picnics welcome; smoking and pets are not. Call Augusta Golf and Gardens at 724-4443 for information.

FIRST FRIDAY AT THE SOUL BAR: Ar t opening featuring the work of Ernest Lee; per formances by

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rally, live enter tainment, children’s activities and more.

Contact the Greater Lake City Chamber of Commerce at (843) 374-8611 for info.

“BRING IN ‘DA NOISE, BRING IN ‘DA FUNK” through Sept.

29 on the Alliance Stage in the Woodruff Ar ts Center in Atlanta. Tickets are $20-$49 and can be obtained by calling the Woodruff Ar ts Center Box Office at (404) 733-5000.

Also, visit www.alliancetheatre.org for info.

Benefits STAMP OUT SICKLE CELL ANEMIA Sept. 7 at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Walk-a-thon includes ar ts and craf ts, food and live enter tainment and is presented by the Paul F. Milner Sickle Cell Suppor t Group.

Contact Mary L. Brown, 733-0188, ex t. 2129.

COLUMBIA COUNTY CARES FAMILY SPAGHETTI SUPPER will be held Sept. 19, 4:30-7:30 p.m. at the Marvin United Methodist Church Gymnasium. Tickets are $5 each and proceeds go towards stocking the food pantry. Obtain tickets at the door or by calling 541-2834. For information, contact David Titus, 556-8090.

WINE EXPO 2002 features silent and live auctions, wine tasting, cigar tasting, food and more. Proceeds benefit various non-profit organizations. Held 7:30 p.m. Sept. 12 at the Par tridge Inn. Tickets are $40 and available through Tix Online, www.tixonline.com or by phone at (803) 278-4TIX. CHEFS OF AUGUSTA FUNDRAISER Sept. 8, 4 p.m. at the Julian Smith Casino. $15 admission raises money for the Augusta Mini Theatre’s Capital Campaign to build a new community ar ts school. For tickets, call 722-0598.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 6437996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

CAMP RAINBOW BENEFIT OPEN HORSE SHOW Sept. 7 at the Hippodrome in Nor th Augusta. Open to equestrians of all ages; classes include English, Western, championship and exhibition. Entry fees are $5 for standard classes, $10 for

DISCO EGGS PRESENTS “MOULIN ROUGE” at D. Timm’s. Midnight breakfast menu and showing of the movie “Moulin Rouge.” Call D. Timm’s at 774-9500.

the championship class and $2 for the exhibition class.

Registration at 8 a.m., opening ceremony at 9 a.m.

Spectators admit ted free. To enter, or for more information, call 721-4004.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning INTRODUCTION TO MICROSOFT WORD at the Wallace Branch Library. Choose either Tuesday classes, Sept. 10Oct. 15, or Thursday classes, Sept. 12-Oct. 17. All sessions are 11 a.m. to noon. Call 722-6275 to register.

FLOWER ARRANGING WORKSHOP at the Ma xwell Branch Library Sept. 10, 10 a.m.-noon. $2 fee; par ticipants should bring their own flowers and container. Registration required.

Phone 793-2020.

INTERNET USAGE CLASS Sept. 11, 9-10 a.m. or 10-11 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Registration is required; call 736-6758.

SEMINAR WITH HORTICULTURIST TOM RAPP Sept. 14 in Aiken. Rapp will discuss fall gardening topics from 9-11 a.m. $20 fee benefits the Aiken Downtown Development Association. Call (803) 649-2221 for reservations.

SMALL BUSINESS TAX WORKSHOP is free and presented by the USC-Aiken Small Business Center. Held Sept. 12, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at USC-Aiken Administration Building, Room 107. To register, e-mail SBDC@usca.edu or call (803) 641-3646.

“HOW TO BE PUBLISHED” WORKSHOP, led by Michael Garret t, former editor of Stephen King. Held Sept. 5-7 at Aiken Technical College. Cost is $95 per day workshop or $75 per evening session. For information, call Aiken Technical College’s Continuing Education Division, (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

CANDY MAKING CLASS Sept. 7, 10-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. All supplies included in class cost: $25 per person for Aiken city residents, plus additional fees for non-residents. Call (803) 642-7631 for info.

BUSINESS WRITING AND GRAMMAR SKILLS WORKSHOP Sept. 5-6 at the Holiday Inn on Gordon Highway. Held from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. both days, with registration at 8:30 a.m. on Sept. 5. Enrollment fee is $295. Call 1-800-258-7246 or visit www.natsem.com to register.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: French, German, Spanish, Italian, Medical Coding/Terminology courses, Microsof t Office, Desk top Publishing courses, Investing and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

FIRST AID/CPR/AED INSTRUCTOR COURSE Sept. 16-19, 610 p.m. at the Augusta Red Cross office. Pre-requisite is basic-level adult, infant and child CPR and first aid. To register, call 724-8483.

“KEYS IN DELIVING SUPERIOR CARE TO KIDS” CONFERENCE for nurses and nursing students. Held Sept. 9, 12:30 p.m.-7 p.m. and Sept. 10, 7:30 a.m.-4:15 p.m. at the Radisson River front Hotel. Cost is $95 for Sept. 9 session or $135 for the full conference; nursing students pay $50. Call the Medical College of Georgia Children’s Medical Center at 721-KIDS to make reservations.

THIRD ANNUAL WOMEN’S HEALTH SUMMIT: Making the Connection Between Obesity, Lifestyle and Health. Held Sept. 12-13 at the Radisson River front Hotel. Addresses the obesity epidemic in Georgia and how it relates to women.

Free health screenings, a morning fitness activity on the river front and an evening reception. For more information, visit www.eventionsinc.com/upcoming_events.htm or call 1866-688-2872.

“READING, WRITING AND RITALIN: DO WE EXPECT TOO MUCH OF ADHD MEDICATION?” lecture by Dr. Joseph Frey, director of the At tention Deficit and Learning Evaluation Center. Held 6:30-8 p.m. Sept. 12 at the Children’s Medical

Casual Gifts

Wedding Gifts

49

SOCCER SKILLS class held Sept. 9-Oct. 15, 5:30-6:15 p.m.

Open to children ages 4 and 5. Cost is $30 for Aiken city residents and $47.50 for all others. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information.

M E T R O

“ONCE UPON A TIME STORIES” will be presented by the Patchwork Players Sept. 10 at 9, 10 and 11 a.m. at ASU’s Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Tickets are $3 per person and seating is on a first-come, first-serve basis. 733-7043.

The artwork of Carl Purdy is up at Borders Books and Music throughout the month of September. For information, call Borders at 737-6962.

Center First Floor Conference Center at the Medical College of Georgia. Free and open to the public. Call 721-6838.

FREE AND LOW-COST PROSTATE CANCER SCREENINGS available at MCG, Eisenhower Army Medical Center, St. Joseph Hospital, University Healthcare System and Doctors Hospital during September, Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. Call the American Cancer Society at 731-9900 for details.

PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offers free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information.

YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294.

FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education.

HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through

Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle.

Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information.

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on the first and third Thursday of each month at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Services include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444.

W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids WAGT-TV SEVERE WEATHER DAY Sept. 14 at For t Discovery. From 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., the whole family can learn about severe weather through special activities and

MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS PETTING ZOO Sept. 8 from 1 to 5 p.m. at For t Discovery. Presented by the Augusta Symphony, the Symphony Friends and For t Discovery.

Musical per formances. Special admission is $5 for adults, children seniors and active military. For information, contact the Augusta Symphony at 826-4705.

STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS Tuesdays at Hopelands in Aiken, through Oct. 29. At 4 p.m., local seniors will read favorite children’s stories to kids ages 8 and under. All children receive a book to take home. Bring a blanket or chair and snacks; an adult must accompany children to the program. Free. In case of rain, event will be held at the H.O. Weeks Center. (803) 642-7631.

TUMBLING TOTS Sept. 5-Oct. 17, 5:15-6 p.m. Open to children ages 2-4 and an accompanying adult. Cost is $33 for Aiken city residents and $50.50 for all others. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

FALL GYMNASTICS at the Family Y: Session II runs Oct. 28Dec. 30. Open to toddlers through teens and held once a week at the Wheeler Gymnastics Center. 738-6678.

ACADEMIC HELP AND TUTORING available Saturdays, 2:304:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 to make arrangements.

GIRLS INCORPORATED AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through the end of the 2002-2003 school year. A variety of programs will be offered. Services include van pick-up at select schools, evening drop-off, homework room and hot evening meal. Open to girls in kindergar ten through high school. Af ter-school program offered 2:30-6 p.m. Mon.-Fri. For more information, call 733-2512.

Celebrate Music! Concert Series 2002-2003 Season September 22, 4:00pm - Organ Recital – Janet Hunt Works by Back, Pinkham, Jongen and others. Free admission

REGISTERED COUPLES TANIA ASSAD & CHRISTOPHER HARRICK FIO CALVO & PATRICK BRITTINGHAM LAURA GIVEN & KEITH VONSCHRILTZ JENNIFER HUGHES & DENNIS MARTIN SUZANNE STEMBRIDGE & TIMOTHY ANSLEY

October 20, 4:00pm - Liber unUsualis – Vocal Trio

The Boston-based ensemble for Medieval and Renaissance vocal music presents Catherine’s Wheel: a concert of music for the saints from the Middle Ages.

Donations appreciated.

November 3, 4:00pm - Dvorak Mass in D Major

The 10:00 Choir of Most Holy Trinity sings this Czech composer’s work within the context of a Novus Ordo Latin Mass. Free admission.

December 15, 4:00pm - Advent Lessons & Carols

The choirs of Most Holy Trinity herald the arrival of the Son of God through song and scripture. Free admission.

January 19, 4:00pm - Stained Glass Windows Part I (Joseph’s side) Solos, anthems and organ works based on the events depicted in the church’s stained glass windows. Free admission.

February 9, 4:00pm - Gospel Evensong and Concert

Holy Trinity’s Gospel Choir leads this service in observance of Black History Month. Free admission.

March 30, 4:00pm - Baroque Chamber Orchestra

Includes J.S. Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No. 4, Concerto in D Minor for Harpsichord, and works by C.P.E. Bach and W.F. Bach. Donations appreciated.

May 18, 4:00pm - Stained Glass Windows Part II (Mary’s side)

Can Make It Special

Solos, anthems and organ works based on the events depicted in the church’s stained glass windows. Free admission.

June 22, 5:00pm - Corpus Christi Evensong and Benediction Sung Evening Prayer for the Feast of Corpus Christi. Free admission

All Kinds of Fabulous Finds

3626 Walton Way 706.738.6125

S P I R I T

CHILDREN’S LEARNING CENTER at the Lucy Craft Laney S Museum of Black History open Monday-Friday, 4:30-6:30 p.m., September through June. For information, call 724-3576. E

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following courses: Keyboarding, Intro to Computers, Microsoft Excel, Health Care Career courses, Veterinary Assistant, Rape Aggression Defense, A Look at Genealogy, Beginning Cake Decorating, Real Estate, Driver Education and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health

demonstrations. All activities free with paid general admission. Contact Kathi Dimmock, 821-0607.

All events take place at the Church of the Most Holy Trinity, 720 Telfair Street.

Call 706-722-4944 for more information.

P T 5 2 0 0 2

50

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

Just beadin’

M E T R O S P I R I T

around at

SIBSHOPS every third Saturday of the month at the MCG Children’s Medical Center Conference Center. This program is designed for siblings of children with special health and developmental needs. Phone 721-KIDS for information.

YaYa Beads!

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

Classes available, sterling silver, hand blown glass beads and much more!

S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE!

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

YaYa Beads Beading Supplies

Seniors

Behind Applebee's on Washington Rd. 706.651.1147 • yayabeads@aol.com

MS. SENIOR GEORGIA-CAROLINA PAGEANT Sept. 14, 7 p.m. at the Performing Ar ts Theatre on the campus of Augusta State University. Tickets are $10 and are available from The Senior Citizens Council, 826-4480, ex t. 300 or 301.

Tuesday-Friday 10am-5:30pm Saturday 10am-4:30pm

ANNUAL SENIOR CITIZEN’S FISH FRY Sept. 12 at the Belle Terrace Community Center. For information, call 771-2954.

Quality Repair Is Your Choice ...

“Request Rick's” Serving

PEOPLE WITH ARTHRITIS CAN EXERCISE (PACE) meets at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-2 p.m. Call 823-5294.

Rick's

Augusta since 1977

PAINT & BODY 868-9224

Bobby Jones across from Wal-Mart

You’ll love our laid back, friendly approach to gourmet.

ADULT FLAG FOOTBALL LEAGUE at Citizens Park. Co-ed and open leagues offered for adults ages 18 and up. Fees and rosters due Sept. 17; practice begins Oct. 7. For more information, call (803) 643-4663.

WALTON FOUNDATION GOLF TOURNAMENT Sept. 16 at Mt. Vintage Plantation Golf Club in Nor th Augusta. Golf skills challenge at 9 a.m.; shotgun star t at 12:30 p.m. Awards reception to follow tournament. Register online at www.wrh.org; click on “News and Events.” For information, call 823-8526.

TICKETS NOW ON SALE for the Augusta GreenJackets 2002-2003 season. Home games at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Tickets available at www.tixonline.com or by phone at (803) 278-4TIX. There is also a TIX outlet inside Harmon Optical in Southgate Plaza.

YOUTH MONTHLY SPARRING the last Thursday of the month, 5:30 p.m., at the Augusta Boxing Club. Call 733-7533.

21

This Month

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Years In Augusta

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

ROCK CLIMBING WALL BELAY CERTIFICATION COURSE for those aged 13 and over Sept. 12-Oct. 17 from 5:30-7 p.m. at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall. $60 fee for Aiken residents; non-resident fees apply. Call (803) 642-7631 for info.

437 Highland Ave Augusta, GA 706.737.6699 Fax 706.733.8644

CELEBRATING

ARTHRITIS AQUATICS offered Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Classes meet 99:45 a.m., 10-10:45 a.m. or 12:15-1 p.m. $37.50/month. To register, call 733-5959.

Sports

Owner Rusty Campbell

Visit us in Surrey Center Mon-Sat for Lunch & Dinner

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bowling, bridge, crochet, pool/billiards, drawing and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

Volunteer ST. JOSEPH HOSPICE VOLUNTEER WORKSHOP Sept. 14 and 21, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at St. Joseph Home Health Care Services in the Daniel Village Shopping Center. Light lunch served. Volunteers may choose to work directly with patients or bereaved family members or assist in the office.

To register, call 729-6328 or 1-800-533-3949.

CUMBEE CENTER TO ASSIST ABUSED PERSONS VOLUNTEER TRAINING Sept. 16-Oct. 3, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings at 6 p.m. Held at the Cumbee Center office in Aiken. For more info, contact the volunteer coordinator, (803) 649-0480.

THE GREATER AUGUSTA ARTS COUNCIL is looking for a few enthusiastic, energetic volunteers to help sell badges, beer and t-shir ts at this year’s Ar ts in the Hear t of Augusta festival, Sept. 20-22 at Riverwalk. Contact Lisa Bryant at

724-3728 or 560-3950.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON is looking for volunteers to help with the daily operation of the house. Interest meeting and complimentary tour for volunteers held at the house Sept. 5 at 9 a.m. Volunteer docents will give tours, plan special events and develop school programs. Docent training held Thursday mornings throughout September at 9 a.m. Call the museum at 7229828 for information.

BIG HELP DAY Sept. 14, 9-11:30 a.m. at the Golden Harvest Food Bank. Volunteers ages 8-12 needed to help sor t donated products. Space is limited, so call to make reservations.

736-1199.

THOROUGHBRED RACING HALL OF FAME DOCENTS NEEDED for the upcoming season. Duties include opening and closing the Hall of Fame, greeting visitors and providing information about museum exhibits. Call Lisa Hall, (803) 642-7650 for information.

GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA is in need of volunteers to mentor and tutor girls ages 5-18 and volunteers willing to share a talent or hobby. Volunteer sessions are between the hours of 3 and 6 p.m., Mon.-Fri. Orientation Sept. 12, 5:30 p.m. 733-2512.

MARCH OF DIMES CHAIN REACTION LEADERSHIP COUNCIL currently accepting nominations for high school freshmen through juniors to serve on the council. Purpose is to increase awareness of the March of Dimes among high school students while building leadership skills. Deadline for nominations is Sept. 13. Call Tracy Klemens at 733-8438 for a nomination pack.

OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGRAM is looking for volunteers to serve meals to needy older residents. To volunteer, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480. For those in need of home-delivered meals, call 210-2018 or toll free at 1-888-922-4464.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of every month at 11 a.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Call 261-PETS for more info.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings FIRST STEP: A DIVORCE RECOVERY WORKSHOP Sept. 8Oct. 13 at First Baptist Church on Walton Way. Held in Room 201. No registration required, but call to reserve free childcare for kids up to age 5. 733-2236, ex t. 204.

CSRA WRITERS meets Sept. 10 at 6:30 p.m. at Barnes & Noble Booksellers. Writers needing a suppor t group are invited to at tend; please bring six copies of manuscripts to be critiqued. Contact Lela Turnbull at 738-4114 or Elizabeth Estes at ecestes@nu-z.net.

Weekly

THERAPY GROUP FOR ADULT VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT Mondays, 6-7:30 p.m., Sept. 9-Oct. 28. Held at University Hospital. A screening appointment is necessary for this free program. Call 774-2421 and leave a confidential message to set up a screening appointment.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431.

BUSINESS NETWORKERS INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. in the Par tridge Inn main dining room. All professionals welcome; breakfast provided for a fee. Call Stuar t Rayburn, 737-0050.

RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071.

GUIDELINES: Public Ser vice announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA, 30914 or Fa x (706) 733-6663. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

51

Music

M E T R O S P I R I T

Widespread Panic Documentary To Show on Riverwalk

P

repare yourself for a night of rock in Augusta, Ga., this weekend, a la Widespread Panic and local rockers Redbelly and In Like Flynn. Panic won’t be here in person, but filmmakers Chris and Geoff Hanson have put together a rock documentary called “The Earth Will Swallow You,” which is currently on tour, and that will show at the Jessye Norman Amphitheater on Sept. 8.

In an interview with The Spirit, Chris Hanson made it plain that he and his brother are not hobbyists. They are professional filmmakers shooting for their own company, Sweetwater Productions. But as a Widespread Panic fan, Hanson experienced a few “oh wow” moments while spending time with the group for the film.

One of those moments happened live during a concert, when Hanson was shooting behind Jo Jo Hermann’s keyboards. He just happened to be there during the moment when a line in a song cued the audience to throw their cigarette lighters at him.

“Things like that, just for me as a fan, were pretty amazing to experience firsthand,” Chris Hanson said.

He was also able to attend a baseball game with singing guitarist Michael Houser.

So how did the brothers score a project like this one?

“We met up because we put a song of theirs in our first movie ‘Scrapple,’” he said. The band had seen the movie and were considering having another movie made.

“They rejected our idea of just doing a concert movie,” Hanson said. The band wanted something larger-scale, so the

Hanson boys proposed a true rock doc.

Panic liked that idea and so it was off to the tour bus for Sweetwater Productions.

As with any project of this size and scope, the filmmakers had a few “uh-oh” moments. One of those came during editing. “We were creating something that was artistic,” Hanson said. “I feared maybe that it was too artistic for the average Widespread Panic fan. When we were showing it to the band and management we feared that they wanted something completely different.

“Luckily, they didn’t. The band liked it. I never should have underestimated the intelligence of the Widespread Panic fans, because they love it.”

It’s been two years, Hanson said, since they started shooting the movie. The film has been on tour since April 12. “It’s been a pretty rewarding process,” he added.

Asked what Hanson learned from completing this project, he replied that the dedication of the road crew really struck him. “I have new respect for the band and any touring act for that matter. I was pretty impressed with the crew. They’ll travel through the night, wake up in a new city,” he said, before disembarking from the bus and setting up the equipment, which they then have to break down after the show.

“And then drive through the night to the next venue and then do it all over again. I have a new respect for what it takes to tour that intensely.”

And it was a pleasure to work with this particular band as well, he said. “In terms of Widespread Panic, we could not have found a nicer group of guys.” Hanson said

they were six of the most humble musicians he has met. Five of the six are married.

They are “total family men,” he said.

Hanson said that Sweetwater Productions has been around quite a few years and has taken on other big projects as well. “We also made ‘Live at Oak Mountain,’” he said. “That’s a straight-up concert movie.”

He spoke briefly about their movie “Scrapple.”

“It’s about a bunch of ski bums living in a ski town in the ‘70s. There’s a love story; there’s a drug deal, and a pig named Scrapple. We wrote it before ‘Babe.’” And anyway, he added, the pig doesn’t talk.

Asked if there are day jobs lurking over their shoulders when he and his brother aren’t touring with bands, he said no way.

“We’re full-time filmmakers. It feels great.

It’s a tougher job than anyone ever talks about, but it’s very rewarding. I come from an art background and I think film’s a wonderful media for storytelling.”

Now that this project is coming to a close, the brothers are ready to take a creative break from each other and work on their own projects for a while. “I’m working on a couple of script ideas,” Hanson said. These involve Warren Miller Films, a company that shoots ski movies. His brother wants to work on some children’s movies and is living in Baton Rouge. Hanson lives in Denver, Colo.

“We’ve been working on these two projects for (a total of) seven years,” Hanson said, referring to “Scrapple” and “The Earth Will Swallow You.” But with a track record like theirs, who knows what the future holds?

S E P T

BY RHONDA JONES

Useless, Trivial Info About the Band If you are a new Panic fan and want to study up, a good place to go is “Moontimes: The Official Propaganda Tool of Widespread Panic,” at widespreadpanic.com. It reads as a journal of sorts with all kinds of hyperlink tentacles to various subjects.

One thing you may or may not know is that Panic has been around at least since the ‘80s. In 1988 they first released “Space Wrangler” with Landslide Records, and then re-released it in 1992 with Capricorn Records. Their first with Capricorn, however, was the “Widespread Panic” disc in 1991.

They’ve kept up the habit of popping out a new one every year or two, with their 2002 offering being “Live in the Classic City” on Widespread Records with Sanctuary Records.

The band has quite a bit of experience with films about themselves as well. “The Earth Will Swallow You” is their fourth, with their first being 1991’s “Live at the Georgia Theatre” with Capricorn Records. In 1998, Capricorn also made “Panic in the Streets.” “Live at Oak Mountain” came in 2002.

“The Earth Will Swallow You” will show at the Amphitheater at 8 p.m., but gates will open at 4.

Redbelly will be on from 5-6 p.m., and In Like Flynn will play from 6:30 until movie time. The evening costs $7, day of show only. Those of you over 21, don’t forget to bring your ID for beer. And you might want to bring more than just drinkin’ cash – vendors are being encouraged to set up.

If you want to know more, visit www.wpmovie.com. If you’ve got questions, give the Soul Bar a call at 724-8880.

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5 2 0 0 2

Augusta’s Only 30 & Up Club

M E T R O S P I R I T

Music By Turner

T

here’s big anticipation all over the South for the John Mayer concert Sept.14 at Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater in Atlanta. His “Room for Squares” disc has slowly gained momentum since its release over a year ago and the transplanted Atlantan is finding himself almost hotter than (gasp!)

Dave Matthews. Fans should check out his official Web site for all sorts of goodies, including ways to purchase his rare out-ofprint 1999 EP, “Inside Wants Out.”

S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

Digital E.C. is Coming Dept.

Friday Night Brass Tyme Saturday Night Staircase

Now Open in Le Pavilion Open Monday-Saturday daily at 3:00pm Happy Hour til 8:00pm Try our kitchen's specials daily Open soon at lunch!

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364-CADI (2234)

Eric Clapton has issued over a half-dozen in-concert recordings during his lifetime and adds another one to the total in November. “One More Car, One More Ride” is a two-CD set heavy on the hits from most stages of his fabled career. Recorded last year in Japan and California, the discs (which will also be available on DVD) might represent the last large-scale tours that the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer will ever do.

Included in the set are “Change the World,” “Have You Ever Loved a Woman?” “She’s Gone,” “Sunshine of Your Love,” and, oddly, a version of the standard “Over the Rainbow.”

• Mark Knopfler has completed his second solo outing in two years with “The Ragpicker’s

Dream,” due in stores Oct. 1. His last release, “Sailing to Philadelphia,” was as strong as anything the ex-Dire Straits leader has committed to tape, chip, or machine in years. Former bandmates Guy Fletcher and John Ilsey assist. A 2003 tour in support of the project is being discussed.

• Regional faves Bloodkin have their latest, “Ravin’ Beauties,” out and the band just seems to get stronger with every release. The disc was recorded in the basement of Dave Schools home in Athens over the past year with David Barbe (of Sugar fame) handling the board. It’s great to see good things happening to musicians from Augusta as Bentley Rhodes continues his good work on drums and percussion for the band.

Oh No! More Ozzy! Dept.

It was just a matter of time before Warner Brothers jumped on the Crazy Train that is all things Ozzy.

Warner Bros., Black Sabbath's original label in the U.S. since the group’s debut in 1970, has “Symptom of the Universe,” a double-disc affair of their biggest singles and most popular album tracks through 1978. Included on the set are “The Wizard,” “War Pigs,” “Paranoid,” “Changes,” and of course, “Iron Man.” One rarity is included; a take of “Evil Woman” (later a hit stateside for a band named Crow) that was a leftover from their debut.

Turner’s Rock and Roll Jeopardy: A. This producer has produced artists that include The Black Crowes, Mick Jagger, The Cult, and Beastie Boys.

Q. Who is Rick Rubin?

52

www.metspirit.com

Tara Scheyer: Different Name, Familiar Tunes

53 M E T R O

Looking to Buy or Sell an Automobile?

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had become a job,” she said, and that was not what she had wanted.

“As soon as I left her (Reba) I went to work at Vanderbilt University,” she said. She went to work at the music school as a musical accompanist and, through a weird twist of fate, wound up in the accounting office.

“I’m good with numbers,” she said. “But never in my life had I had a day job. In just a couple of days I went from writing songs to having my own office.”

Music had always been enough for her before, just paying the bills and doing what she loved. “I never considered stuff like insurance.

It was all about rock ‘n’ roll.”

Now she’s singing to another tune. “It’s different now. The focus of everything has changed,” she said. Back then, it was her mission to play as much music as possible.

“Now I just want to spend time with my husband.”

We asked if she felt like she had “settled down.” She didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Oh yeah,” she said. “That’d be a real good way of putting it. I feel grounded. I always wanted somewhere to put a garden.” For years, the thought of a garden has been an important personal symbol for her, and she often speaks to her husband, Kevin, of “the day we get a garden.”

It’s all cool, she said. “It’s OK to change like that.”

Kevin Scheyer has been known to pick up an instrument himself. He played drums with Horsepower in the past and is the godson of Latin jazz great Poncho Sanchez. He’s originally from South Central Los Angeles, where he was taught by Sanchez and Ramon Banda. In 1998, he climbed on stage at the Latin Jazz Festival at Long Beach, Calif. His stage mates were Sanchez, Tito Puente and Herbie Hancock.

He was once a Soul Mite and toured extensively for five years, putting out two records.

He also played with 311, Jupiter Coyote, Hootie and the Blowfish and members of the Allman Brothers Band.

Currently, he’s working on a new band project with wife Tara, as well as Horsepower, Snapdragon and The Soul Mites.

Check out Tara at the Fox’s Lair Sept. 7 and 12-13. She has further dates planned there in October, November and December, so stay tuned.

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our years ago, Tara VanDevender left Augusta, never to return again.

Meet Tara Scheyer – married with Dobermans, co-owner with husband Kevin Scheyer of a doggie bakery. This Mississippi native who adopted Augusta is back home now and ready to return to her fans.

So what brought Tara to Augusta the first go ‘round as a brand-new college graduate? Fate.

“I closed my eyes and pointed at the atlas,” she said. The atlas told her that Augusta was Georgia’s “second-largest” city.

“That’s how I wound up in Augusta, Ga.,” she said. “I made all my grown-up friends here.”

Those friends are well acquainted with Tara’s music, which she describes as “Southern storytelling music.”

“Everything I write about is something that happened to me. Half my songs are about guys I was in love with that didn’t love me back.”

Tara’s been in Nashville writing for a company called Starstruck Publishing, owned by Reba McEntire. Auditioning for the job was an odd experience, she said. She went to her interview, guitar in hand, and played for 15 suits who didn’t so much as crack a smile or tap a foot.

“I felt so humiliated,” she said. “But I got the job.”

Songwriting companies exist, Tara explained, to give performers a place to go to order songs.

The companies are provided with a list of people who need certain types of songs and the writers go to work trying to produce them.

Most such companies have about 200 writers.

Starstruck had only 18, Tara said.

And, yes, she did meet Reba. She even spent one Fourth of July at the star’s home.

“She’s very nice,” Tara said. “She’s a very smart and business-savvy woman.”

Some highlights of working for Starstruck included working with musicians Tara had heard of her whole life, such as bass player Michael Rhodes, a Nashville session musician who has played with a host of music stars over the course of his career.

But working in a song factory wasn’t for Tara, though she emphasizes that it’s a good living for those who enjoy that kind of thing.

“I’m not knocking it in any way because if I could do it, I’d be a millionaire,” she said.

So she worked out her contract and then she and Starstruck went their separate ways. “It

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Thursday, 5th Aiken Brewing Co. - DJ Cadillac’s - DJ Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clifford Club Incognito - DJ Mike Scratch, Bikini Contest Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - DJ Mania with DJ Hawk Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Eagle’s Nest - Richardean Norwood, Michael Johnson, Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draws Fishbowl Lounge - Blind-Draw Dar ts Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Greene Street’s - Men’s National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe’s Underground - Paul Arrowood Last Call - Ma x from 95 Rock hosts Barroom Olympics, DJ Richie Rich Logan’s Roadhouse - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Marlboro Station - Talent Night Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - House Music Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Open Mic Night Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw, Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - Pool and Dar t Leagues Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke Salsa’s Bar and Grill - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks The Shack - Bar Bingo Shannon’s - Tony Howard Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Snook’s - Open Acoustic Jam Soul Bar - Shaun Piazza

Sports Pub and Grill - Spor ts Trivia The Spot - Feature DJ Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Friday, 6th American Legion Post No. 63 - Funtime Band Back yard Tavern - Karaoke, Horseshoes The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Big Iron Saloon - Magic Hat Borders - Terry Gibbs Cadillac’s - Brass Tyme Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clifford Charlie O’s - Live Music Coconuts - Miss Hawaiian Tropic with DJ Doug Coliseum - Diane Chanel Cotton Patch - John & Andy Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - Juice, Livingroom Legends D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Euchee Creek Sports Bar - Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Fox’s Lair - Thom Carlton Gordon Club - Flavor Fridays Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Highlander - Senatobia Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys The Infield Sports Bar & Grill - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Black-Eyed Susan Kokopelli’s - Vagabond Missionaries with Special Guest Last Call - Dakota West, Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Blind Draws Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock

Modjeska - First Friday with DJ Vegas Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Partridge Inn - Canthonica Patti’s - Free Pool Pizza Joint - Westabou Playground - Acoustic Music with Chuck Private I - Disco Red Lion - Senatobia, Cog Burns Richard’s Place - Midnight Magic Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Night with DJ The Shack - DJ Doober Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Steve Chapell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - Salsa Picante, DJ Guillermo, German, First Friday Ar t Opening with Ernest Lee The Spot - Ms. Behavin’ Competition Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Saturday, 7th American Legion Post No. 63 - ‘50s/’60s Theme Dance with Crossroads Band Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Big Iron Saloon - Magic Hat Borders - Tripp Powell Cadillac’s - Staircase Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clifford Charlie O’s - Live Music, Military Night Coconuts - DJ Doug Coliseum - Ravionne Cotton Patch - Saturday Night Live with Black-Eyed Susan and Redheaded Stepchild Country Ranch - Karaoke Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - Shinebox D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express

Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Dar t Tournament, Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks, Blind-Draw Dar ts Fox’s Lair - Tara Scheyer Gordon Club - Salsa Night Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe’s Underground - Verge Kokopelli’s - Bind with Special Guest Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Miami Night with DJ Boriqua Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Barroom Olympics Private I - Disco, Live Jazz and R&B Rae’s Coastal Cafe - Live Music Red Lion - Dezeray’s Hammer Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Snook’s - Horseshoe Tournament Somewhere in Augusta - ESPN Gameplan Soul Bar - ph balance The Spot - Live DJ Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music Time Piecez - ‘80s Night Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Sunday, 8th Adams Nightclub - Dance Par ty with DJ Tim Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clifford and The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - Paul Arrowood Country Ranch - Pool Tournament The Edge - Siclid, Calloway’s Perdition, SPYT, Drop Level Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Marlboro Station - Starlight Cabaret with Claire Storm and Lauren Alexander Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Pizza Joint - Michael and Jason Rhythm and Blues Exchange - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G The Shack - Live Enter tainment Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins Somewhere in Augusta - Patrick Blanchard The Spot - Live DJ

Monday, 9th

Fans of Black-Eyed Susan won’t want to miss the band performing at Joe’s Underground First Friday and on the Riverwalk this Saturday as part of Saturday Night Live.

Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness with DJ Freeman Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Finish Line Cafe - Open Pool Tournament Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Honk y Tonk - Blues Monday featuring Robbie Ducey Band and Special Guest Joe’s Underground - John & Andy Kokopelli’s - Dar t Teams Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Dar ts Michael’s - Karaoke with Hugh Barrow Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ

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S E P T 5

H O U S E O F I N T E R N AT I O N A L P I Z Z A S Atlanta band ph balance comes to the Soul Bar Saturday, Sept. 7.

Red Lion - F&B Karaoke Richard’s Place - Dar ts Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Lessons The Shack - DJ Patrick Snook’s - Free Pool

Tuesday, 10th Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t American Legion Post No. 63 - Bingo Cadillac’s - Steve Chapell Club Incognito - DJ Mike Scratch Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty Docker’s - Pool Tournament D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Hooters - Bike Night Joe’s Underground - John & Andy Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Karaoke Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Music Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Patti’s - Pool Tournament Pizza Joint - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Red Lion - Dancing Under the Influence The Shack - DJ Brian Snook’s - Open Acoustic Jam Somewhere in Augusta - Trivia Tuesdays with Mat t and Kevin Sports Pub and Grill - Trivia

Wednesday, 11th Cadillac’s - Karaoke Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Night Cotton Patch - Trivia with Mat t Stovall Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Docker’s - Free Pool D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draws Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Hooters - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Joe’s Underground - Paul Arrowood Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Golf Tournament Rhythm and Blues Exchange - The Family Trucksters Richard’s Place - Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G, Free Pool The Shack - DJ Patrick Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Steve Chapell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Snook’s - Open Acoustic Jam Somewhere in Augusta - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Soul Bar - Live Jazz The Spot - Live DJ TGI Friday’s - Trivia Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

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To t e k c i T r u o Y eat Finding Gr Flicks.

Check out Cinema Movie Listings to make the best choice for your viewing pleasure!

Brass Tyme plays Friday, Sept. 6, at Cadillac's.

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56 Upcoming M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

Tom Conlon - Vineyard Community Church - Sept.

15 63rd Anniversary of Big Red and Swanee Quintet Bell Auditorium - Oct. 6 Charlie Daniels - Aiken Jaycees Fairgrounds - Oct. 17

Elsewhere Jump, Little Children - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Sept. 5; Music Farm, Charleston, S.C. - Sept. 6 Cruxshadows - Masquerade, Atlanta - Sept. 6 Gov’t Mule - The Classic Centet Theatre, Athens, Ga. - Sept. 6 Superdrag, Love Apple - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - Sept. 6 Of Montreal - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - Sept. 7 Steven Curtis Chapman, Zoe Girl - Anderson Music Hall, Hiawassee, Ga. - Sept. 7 Goo Goo Dolls, Third Eye Blind - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 10 The Beach Boys - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 13 John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Sept. 13 Charlie Hunter, John Mayer, Guster - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 14 Coldplay - Masquerade, Atlanta - Sept. 14 Triple Shot of Rock with Eddie Money, Survivor, Loverboy - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre - Sept. 15 Dillenger 4 - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. Sept. 17

Elton John, Billy Joel - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Sept. 17 The Charms - Fado, Atlanta - Sept. 18 Jimmy Eat World - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - Sept. 19 Olivia Newton-John - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 20 Merle Haggard - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Sept. 21 The Mission UK - Masquerade, Atlanta - Sept. 21 38 Special - Anderson Music Hall, Hiawassee, Ga. Sept. 21 Steve Kimock Band - Atlanta’s Back Porch, Fairburn, Ga. - Sept. 27 Bill Gaither and Friends - Philips Arena, Atlanta Sept. 28 Sammy Kershaw, Lorrie Morgan - Anderson Music Hall, Hiawassee, Ga. - Sept. 28 Alabama - Reaves Arena, Perry, Ga. - Oct. 5 George Jones - Reaves Arena, Perry, Ga. - Oct. 10 Bill Cosby - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Oct. 12 Vince Gill - Reaves Arena, Perry, Ga. - Oct. 12 Disco Biscuits - Georgia Theatre, Athens, Ga. - Oct. 19 Phil Vassar, Brad Paisley - Anderson Music Hall, Hiawassee, Ga. - Oct. 26 Rolling Stones - Turner Field, Atlanta - Oct. 26 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at www.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com.

Club Directory Adams Nightclub - 738-8811 Aiken Brewing Co. - (803) 502-0707 American Legion Post 63 - 733-9387 The Backyard Tavern - 869-8695 The Bee's Knees - 828-3600 Big Iron Saloon - 774-9020 Bhoomer’s Lounge - 364-3854 Borders - 737-6962 Cadillac's - 364-CADI Cafe Du Teau - 733-3505 Capri Cinema - Eighth and Ellis Street Charlie O’s - 737-0905 Club Incognito - 836-2469 Coconuts - 738-8133 Coliseum - 733-2603 Continuum - 722-2582 Cot ton Patch - 724-4511 Country Ranch - (803) 867-2388 Coyote’s - 560-9245 Crossroads - 724-1177 Docker’s - (803) 302-1102 D. Timm’s - 774-9500 Eagle’s Nest - 722-5541 Elks Lodge - 855-7162 Euchee Creek Spor ts Bar - 556-9010 Finish Line Cafe - 855-5999 Fishbowl Lounge - 790-6810 Fox’s Lair - 828-5600 Fraternal Order of Eagles - 790-8040 French Market Grille West - 855-5111 Gordon Club - 791-6780 Greene Street’s Lounge - 823-2002 Hangnail Gallery - 722-9899 Highlander - 278-2796 Honky Tonk - 560-0551 Hooters - 736-8454 The Infield - 652-1142 Jerri’s Place - 722-0088

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Joe’s Underground - 724-9457 Kokopelli’s - 738-1881 Last Call - 738-8730 Logan’s Roadhouse - 738-8088 Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - 651-0110 Marlboro Station - (803) 644-6485 Metro Coffeehouse - 722-6468 Michael's- 733-2860 Modjeska - 303-9700 Mulligan’s Nitelife - 738-1079 Par tridge Inn - 737-8888 Pat ti’s - 793-9303 Pizza Joint - 774-0037 The Playground - 724-5399 Private I - 793-9944 Rae’s Coastal Cafe - 738-1313 Red Lion Pub - 736-7707 Rhythm and Blues Exchange - 774-9292 Richard’s Place - 793-6330 Robbie’s Spor ts Bar - 738-0866 Safari Lounge Aiken - (803) 641-1100 Salsa’s Bar & Grill - 855-6868 The Shack - 441-0053 Shannon's - 860-0698 Silver Bullet Lounge - 737-6134 Snook’s - (803) 278-2936 Somewhere In Augusta - 739-0002 The Soul Bar - 724-8880 The Spot - (803) 819-0095 Spor ts Pub and Grill - 432-0448 Squeaky’s Tip-Top - 738-8886 Surrey Tavern - 736-1221 TGI Friday’s - 736-8888 Time Piecez - 828-5888 Treybon - 724-0632 Veracruz - 736-4200 Wheeler Tavern - 868-5220 Whiskey Junction - (803) 649-0794

Washington Corner 3241 Washington Road 706-210-0300 Behind California Dreamin'

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News of the

Weird A

Fortune magazine-commissioned study reported in August that officers and directors of the 1,035 companies that have fallen the most from their recent bull-market peaks cashed in $66 billion worth of stock before the crash, at a time when those companies’ non-insiders (and in many cases, employees) were suffering devastating investment losses. Among the “shrewdest” executives were those from AOL-Time Warner ($1.79 billion), Enron ($994 million) and Charles Schwab ($951 million).

• One proposed remedy for the sexual frustration of Iranian men who avoid marriage because of financial cost is to permit temporary, Islam-endorsed “marriages” with prostitutes inside designated brothels.

About 300,000 prostitutes are active in Iran, and the number is rising, as is the typical cost of marriage and the “corrupt” influence of Western society on Muslim youth. Those circumstances have caused at least one prominent cleric to back the idea, according to an August Reuters dispatch.

No Longer Weird • Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (55) The robber who carefully, purposefully smashes a store’s security camera (while looking directly at it), oblivious to the fact that destroying the camera does not affect the remote video recorder that it’s hooked up to, capturing his face on tape, as with the 5-foot-9 man whose picture has been circulating in Edmonton, Alberta, since July. (56) And the hard-luck checkbook thief whose victim, by chance, is an employee of the very store or bank in which the thief later tries to cash one of the checks, as happened at the Farmers State Bank, Stockbridge, Mich., in June, resulting in the arrest of a 20-year-old man.

Chutzpah!

• Responding to his latest call-up for jury duty, habitual San Antonio jury-slacker David Williamson sent the federal judge a serious bill for $16,800 because the court had advised Williamson to be ready to serve at any time during August (21 business days, 8 hours a day, at Williamson’s consultant’s rate of $100 an hour).

Williamson also wrote that if the judge did not pay by Aug. 31, interest would accrue at 2 percent a month, and that if the judge would like to discuss the matter, he should call Williamson for an appointment. (A few days later, Judge John H. Wood Jr. ordered Williamson to his courtroom for a contempt hearing, the result of which was pending at press time.)

• Child-sex-assaulter Kevin R. Hill, 36, filed a lawsuit from prison against St. Clair County, Ill., in July, demanding $100,000 because county officials caused

him and his family “grave personal and professional financial devastation” when they charged him with the crime (even though he ultimately pleaded guilty). And in June, inmate Kenneth Bianchi (the “Hillside Strangler” serial killer in California and Washington in the 1970s), filed a lawsuit against Whatcom County, Wash., demanding up to $100 a day for the 23 years he has been imprisoned (for lost wages and emotional distress); Bianchi said prosecutors caused him to misjudge the strength of the case against him at trial, and that’s why he pleaded guilty to the murders of seven women.

• Matthew E. Hooker, 30, filed a $200 million defamation lawsuit in May in Los Angeles against actor Nicole Kidman because she (and many other persons and media outlets named in the lawsuit) refer to Hooker as Kidman’s “stalker” (even though a judge has entered a three-year stay-away order against Hooker because of numerous past harassments of Kidman).

Hooker told reporters that the “stalker” label was likely to hurt his 2004 presidential campaign.

Inexplicable • In Winnipeg, Manitoba, in July, David Dauphinee, 52, and his brother Daniel, 51, both retired senior members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, were convicted of bombarding local police officers with oranges and onions while standing on a 19th-floor balcony, while the local officers were investigating a break-in on a ground floor nearby. The brothers have had other recent confrontations with law-enforcement officers, and David’s ex-wife Debbie described the men as “dumb and dumber.”

• Ex-lawyer Mitchell Rothken, 44, is serving a three-to-nine-year prison sentence in New York in connection with an embezzlement scheme, which he told a judge in February he concocted to win the favor of stripper Kimberly Barbieri, with whom he was utterly obsessed. In an August interview in New York magazine, Rothken said that although his secret, fouryear bond with the dancer ultimately cost him his 21-year marriage, his three sons, his real-estate law practice, and more than $1 million in gifts, Barbieri and he never actually consummated the relationship.

57 M E T R O S P I R I T

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People Different From Us • In May in Brisbane, Australia, suspended police officer James Arthur Mariner, 42, was set for trial on charges that over a seven-year period, under the guise of helping people qualify for the police force, he solicited pubic hair, blood and urine samples and mouth swabs from people for his own gratification. Other victims claimed that Mariner got them to make a sex video (allegedly for police training), and another said Mariner put a wrestler’s “headlock” on her.

Least Competent Criminals • Unfamiliar with the system: Andrew Cameron was arrested in August and charged with stealing Jacqueline Boanson’s debit card in Cheltenham, England.

Cameron had used the card to place a horse-racing bet, and the horse won, but since he could not collect without a photo ID that matched the debit card name, the winnings (about $495) were automatically transferred to Boanson’s account.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

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Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

You missed the annual Summer Redneck Games this year, but it’s an excellent time to begin prepping for 2003. Held every July in East Dublin, Ga., this alternative Olympics features events like the watermelon-seed spitting contest, bobbing for pigs’ feet, the bug-zapper spitball competition, the armpit serenade, and the mud pit belly flop. While it’s true you may not have had a chance to develop an aptitude in these areas before, your talent could grow exponentially in the coming months. With the expansive planet Jupiter in your astrological House of Hog Heaven, you will excel at activities that involve losing your dignity for the sake of having goofy fun; you will thrive whenever you shed your self-importance in order to explore down-to-earth pleasures.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

bare for your review, may have a very different meaning now than it did before.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

It’s a favorable time to moonlight for a few days as a cashier at the drive-in window of Jack in the Box or Taco Bell. Doing so would dramatically boost your levels of empathy for people who aren’t as fortunate as you, which is exactly what the astrological omens suggest. Your part-time gig selling junk food to regular folks would also increase your humility, which would diminish your false pride and boost your soul’s confidence. Finally, wearing a grimy white uniform while immersed in greasy air for a short time would make you feel tremendously grateful about the blessings in your life you take for granted. This, again, is one of the gods’ primary prescriptions for you right now.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

I have cast a judicious and discerning love spell that will be triggered in the heart of anyone who reads the following mantra: blisssavvy. Ha! You read it!

Soon you’ll be in the grip of a sizzling yet moist vortex of tender devotion. You’ll be moved to commit sagacious acts of lust and thoughtful outbreaks of horny compassion. Don’t even worry for a minute that the spell will lead you to do impulsive things you’ll regret later, Taurus. In formulating it, I made sure it’ll inspire behavior that is in strict accordance with your highest ideals and best intentions.

“The strong, independent part of me resisted the embarrassing truth for a long time,” my Leo friend Lannie told me, “but I finally came to accept that I’m someone who craves overwhelmingly vast amounts of love. Ever since I totally surrendered to this need, it doesn’t nag me all the time, like it used to. In fact, it feels kind of comforting, like a source of sweetness that never goes away. I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve come to treasure the feeling of having a voracious yearning for love.” I’ve quoted Lannie’s testimony at length, Leo, because it’s prime time for you to master the skill she now owns.

As global warming continues apace, glaciers and ice fields from Alaska to Central Asia are melting.

Scientists are excited about gathering all the ancient artifacts and fossils that are being exposed by the thaw. I see an analogous process going on in your own life, Gemini. A deep freeze is losing its grip on parts of your past. Repressed memories are, as a result, becoming accessible again. Stories from long ago are returning for another look, perhaps even a reinterpretation. The historical evidence, laid

When I scream “GET NAKED!” I don’t mean you should immediately fling off all your clothes.

(Though I’m not opposed to you doing that.) What I mostly mean is: strip away your defense mechanisms; dismantle the armor around your heart; slip off your boxing gloves before making love; remove the shoes that don’t belong to you — you know, the ones you were going to walk a mile in but have ended up wearing for a million miles; shed knee

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

ACROSS

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pads you put on so as to kiss anyone’s butt; dispose of the chastity belt; get rid of the aluminum foil hat you donned to protect you from telepathic mindcontrol experiments; take off the blinders that are diminishing your eyesight, as well as the rose-colored glasses, for that matter.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The promise-breakers and love-fakers and delusionmakers are no fun, but ultimately you’ll thank them for helping to clarify your goals. The idea-stealers and reverse healers and greedy feelers are hazardous to your happiness in the short run, but eventually they’ll strip away your dangerous naiveté and inspire you to devise smarter protections for your heart, health, and wealth. In conclusion, Libra, it’s one of those weird times when mediocre, apathetic, unconscientious people will be your greatest teachers.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

This would be a good time to launch a building project on the scale of India’s Taj Mahal or Egypt’s Great Pyramid. You should at least begin some magnificent creation, Scorpio. If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, there’s a decent chance you could wangle 20,000 helpers to work for you night and day for the next 20 years. You could probably even corral a team of holy men and wild women to consecrate your quest, as well as a squadron of psychotherapists and masseuses to soothe you during the challenges you’ll face as you assemble your masterpiece.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

More than any other sign of the zodiac, you Centaurs have the potential to help people laugh at themselves. Yet this sublime skill is never mentioned as a Sagittarian specialty in the astrological textbooks. Indeed, it’s rarely even recognized as a valuable asset by the experts who describe what constitutes a stellar human being. I, on the other hand, put it at the top of my list of desirable traits.

In my view, inducing people to take themselves less seriously is one of the most sacred and healing gifts you can give them. Why mention this now? Our culture’s myopia may have discouraged you from fully developing this superpower, but it’s a perfect moment to make up for lost time.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

best obsessions you’ve ever been possessed by, so for now I won’t try to interfere with the interesting mess you’re making. There’s another factor to consider: I’ve detected some strange yet juicy luck in your vicinity, but it may not become fully available unless you play around a lot, experiment freely, and maybe even stir up a ruckus. If you ask me, whipping up a bit of chaos is a small price to pay for an entertaining burst of divine assistance.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In the coming weeks, you’ll either be a Betweener or Beyonder. Which do you prefer? The Betweener tries to be loyal to both sides, but in a pinch she plays both sides against the middle. For her, the rules of the game are important, but she reserves the right to ignore the rules at critical junctures.

The Betweener values the rewards that the system offers but refuses to be crushed by its compromises.

The Beyonder, on the other hand, operates completely outside the parameters. She’s immune to the seductions of the inner circle; her magic comes from tinkering in the frontiers. The Beyonder is driven by her signature dreams, not by success as defined by others. She’s excited by the prospect of finding keys and signs and treasures that are invisible to those who live in the thick of the system.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

“Dear Dr. Feelgood: Why you are so relentlessly nice to us hypersensitive Pisceans? Did you fall in love with one, and now you’re secretly trying to woo her? Did you run over a Pisces cat and swear you’d make it up to us human Pisces? Please give me a reason to believe you’re not just coddling us Fishes. -Forever Drunk with a Thousand Feelings.”

Dear Drunk: Your imagination is the organ you use to generate mental pictures of things that don’t exist yet. It is, therefore, the single most important asset you posses; it’s what you use to shape your future. I feel that if I can help keep your imagination teeming with positive visions, you’re more likely to create a life that’s in line with your highest values.

— © Rob Brezsny You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

I’m a little nervous that your pet obsession will turn you into its pet. On the other hand, it’s one of the

29 Rebuffs

overseas

53 1977 U.S. Open

winner 1 Vets’ concerns 54 Honeymooners’ 30 It may be 5 Left so as to state? served on admit some 8-Down 57 Bad deeds light 31 One of 18 rois 58 Hash 9 It makes il mondo go round 33 Test taker’s 59 Numerical prefix state?

14 Imperial, for 60 Toy named after 37 Animal with a example a politician snout 15 Sultry 61 Severe setback 38 At first: Abbr.

62 Trivial Pursuit 16 Expensive 40 Suffix with song category: Abbr. watch 17 Athlete’s state? 44 “With malice toward ___ …”: DOWN 19 Undemocratic Lincoln law 1 Word after one 45 Things peddled or two 20 Times in 47 Philosopher’s classifieds 2 It’s found in a state? table 21 Turner or Cole 49 Carol starter 3 Taut 22 It may follow 50 Singer Cara well 4 IV, to III and others 5 Analysis 23 Wee 51 A couple of 6 Not be serious 25 Tiler’s state? cups?

7 Pink-slip 27 Bit of gossip 52 ___ mater 8 Sandwich 28 In no time (brain cover) choice 9 “You ___ ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE Casanova” F A J I T A I R E P E A T (Mariah Carey I M I T A T E N O T H E R E lyric) R O M A N O N E H U N D R E D 10 In step with S R I B O G O T A fashion T A N G L O N E P S S T 11 Lover of S L Y E S T O S C E O L A Cesario, in T A U T E R O N A I R “Twelfth Night” K E Y W I T H N O S H A R P S 12 Move away A G A I N E L F M A N T I P S T E R U N C L O G 13 They form a crowd in E S S E L O C H E E R O Hollywood S A U D I S M A E V I T A M I N I N L E M O N S 18 Certain coffee O N E M I N D D O M I N G O 22 Ancient region N O T A T E S T I L D E N on the Aegean

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$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • Touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com/

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Puzzle by Michael Shteyman

24 Ted Williams

wore it 25 “No ___!”

26 Paris attraction 28 Chemise, e.g.

32 Reason for kids to miss school 34 ___ Major 35 “Dies ___”

36 Pilot’s zone 39 Enter 40 Nervous

excitement

46 Experienced

sailor

48 Having

entanglements

49 Traffic marking

41 Flourish

51 Vigor

42 Iris cover

54 Kind of scene

43 1980’s White

55 Everyone

House name

56 Record keeper

Answers to clues in this puzzle are available by touch-tone phone: 1-900-285-5656. $1.20 per minute.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/diversions ($19.95 a year).

Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

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A

month ago, my boss introduced me to his neighbor, an older, divorced man who owns a helicopter company. He’s a nice guy, and because he’s looking to get into a relationship, I hooked him up with my hairdresser. No sparks flew between them, but he’s become a regular client of hers. To thank me, he offered to buy me lunch. Even better, he offered me a free ride on one of his helicopters! I’m supposed to call when I have a free morning, and if there’s an open seat, he’ll tell the pilot to expect me.

(He doesn’t plan on accompanying me; nor will he be flying the thing.) I was looking forward to seeing the city from the sk y for free (how cool would that be!) but when I told my boyfriend, he flipped his pancakes.

Although I made it clear I’m not romantically interested in the helicopter man, he feels threatened and doesn’t want me lunching or flying. Lunch, smunch, that’s no biggie. But neither my boyfriend nor I have an extra couple hundred bucks lying around to put toward whirling around the sk y for an hour. Should I pass up this rare opportunity just to allay my boyfriend’s fears that I will have mad sex, fall in love and dump him for the helicopter man?

—Grounded Are you in a relationship, or did you give the junior high school principal a wedgie when you were 13 and get a life sentence to juvey hall? For your boyfriend, at least, there’s a very fuzzy line between mate and inmate; a sign, not that he loves you, but that he has a crushing need to be loved. Somebody who loves you wants your life to be as big, fat, and exciting as possible — even if it means that you end up living it out in somebody else’s helicopter. Just be glad that your boyfriend hasn’t tried to take the captive audience concept to its logical conclusion — confining you to a windowless 8 by 10 cell with a slot in the door so he can slide you your bowl of gruel.

That kind of living arrangement does have its benefits. He’d feel secure that he’d get to forever with you (forever being roughly how long it takes to tunnel to freedom with a Styrofoam cup and a bent teaspoon). As for you — you could learn impor tant skills, like how to cut your meat with a sharpened comb. You might even get to don an

orange jumpsuit and go out and break rocks, or get into the kind of handiwork that’s seen by thousands of motorists. And who knows — if you behave yourself, there might even be a Tif fany’s box in your future — your very own electronic engagement anklet!

If, however, Capitivity By Tif fany’s isn’t what saws your bars, you can again reassure your boyfriend ... just as you can spit on a forest fire or apply a single sheet of Bounty to the Eastern European flood cleanup. The guy probably has the self-image of a stale bread crumb, and he’s the only one who can change that. You can limit your life along the lines of your boyfriend’s neediness, or you can inform him that New Freedom isn’t just a pantiliner anymore, then go of f and broaden your horizons (by hovering over everyone else’s, then snacking on gourmet delicacies).

Can you have a relationship that fosters horizon broadening? Sure. Unfor tunately, it looks like the first step to get ting one is let ting your current boyfriend know that he’s been looking for lockdown in all the wrong places.

I’m a 22-year-old guy who’s driven completely crazy every summer at the sight of beautiful girls showing off their gorgeous feet. Even though I have a girlfriend with beautiful feet, I still find myself sneaking peeks at other women with nice tanned feet; especially those with sof t white soles. Even driving around — so many women put their feet up on the dash — it makes me nuts. I know I’m pretty weird, but do you think this is a problem — my sole (heel, and toe) obsession?

—Sole-Oriented If the girl you’re seeing gets her thrills by wearing boot-foot hip-waders, you’ve got a problem.

Of course, one man’s problem is another man’s — well, check out womeninwaders.com, where the order page includes T-shir ts picturing “Ex tra Large White Women In Waders,” and “Ex tra Ex tra Large Women In Chaps.” Should you be worried about your af finity for the dimpled white sole and all the rest? Well, if you’re scheduling your life around get ting a glimpse of toe cleavage, see a psychiatrist. Otherwise, consider it a hobby, kind of like being into miniature golf — just a lit tle less twisted.

— © 2002, Amy Alkon

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* Automobiles for sale by an individual may be placed in our FREE Auto Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for six weeks or until the vehicle sells, whichever comes first. After two weeks, if you want to keep running the same ad, you must call The Metropolitan Spirit by 5 p.m. on Friday or we will assume you sold the vehicle and will delete the ad. All vehicles must indicate price. FREE Auto Classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies or dealers.

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE.

GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published.

The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

Name_________________________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone_________________________________________________________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

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SELF-SUFFICIENT... hard-working DWF, 38, full-figured, Leo, smoker, with one child, seeks DWM, 38-50, smoker, children are fine. ☎659397 POSITION AVAILABLE! Mother of two lovely daughters, 34, employed with the Board of Education, seeks SW/HM, 33-48, to begin with friendship and possibly evolve into an LTR. ☎651992 I’LL COOK Fun-loving, intelligent SBF, 22, Capricorn, N/S, student, mother of three, seeks man, 2130, to accompany me in life. Kids a plus. ☎647824 SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL Multiracial SF, 56, 5’7”, animal lover, mother professor of languages, loves beaches, travel, collecting art, reading, and listening to music (Latin and classical). Seeking SM, to share life and love. ☎610690 SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED SF, 33, 5’, full-figured, cocoa complexion, looking for friendship leading to relationship with SM, 25-40, who doesn’t play games. ☎579505 NOW IS THE TIME SWPF, 55, likes dancing, walks, movies, the lake, dining out. Seeking SWM, N/S, 48-65, for fun and friendship, and who knows what later! ☎653476 KIND-HEARTED, REAL Petite, green-eyed SWC mother, 39, Scorpio, N/S, seeks WM, 33-45, N/S, to build a love that lasts a lifetime. ☎648419 TIME WITH YOU Voluptuous BF, 39, seeks a BM, N/Drugs, social drinker ok. I enjoy reading, dining out, movies, church activities. ☎646176 TAKE IT SLOW SWF, 49, 5’6”, reddish/blonde hair, outgoing personality, wants to build a serious relationship with a SWM. ☎642309 BIG AND BEAUTIFUL BF, 43, brown/hazel, loves free time, books, weekend travel. Seeking a mature companion with an easygoing attitude, for friendship, dating, and more. ☎643199 THE MAN OF MY DREAMS... is easy to get along with, and has a great sense of humor and fun. Single mom, 28, 5’, brown/blue, is looking for her soulmate. ☎640587 MOVIES AND MORE Seeking a man with a lively attitude who likes movies. I am a SF, 42, looking for love. ☎636995 IN SEARCH OF MY SOULMATE He must be a tall (5’10”-6’4”), Christian man, 42-55, N/S, who is honest, faithful, devoted and lively. I am a SBPF, 5’6”, 150lbs, and looking for LTR. ☎641005 GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor. Seeking WM, 60-70, who’s honest and caring. ☎574264 THE BELLS ARE RINGING Slim SBCF, 29, 5’3”, student, employed, Pisces, N/S, seeks marriage minded BM, 2736, N/S, for life’s journey. ☎633606 WE’LL STILL B TOGETHER... on down the road. SWF, 23, Capricorn, N/S, seeks sweet, gentle BM, 22-35, who is interested in a friendship. Let’s become a family! ☎631605 WHO NEEDS A HEADLINE? SWF, 33, full-figured, blonde/blue, Pisces, smoker, likes hiking, camping, and quiet evenings at home. Seeking WM, 25-45, smoker, for LTR. ☎628677

SEEKS GENTLEMAN SWF, 29, 5’11”, 145lbs, enjoys outdoors, dining, movies, bowling and quiet evenings at home. Seeking honest SM, 29-39, for LTR. ☎550425 ABSOLUTE ALTRUISM SBF, 42, 5’7”, 1205lbs, seeks emotionally secure gentleman, 35+, with honor, wit, and wisdom. ☎605946 LONELY WOMAN SBF, 32, single mom, seeks SWPM, quality military man who has old-fashioned values, financially secure, for LTR. ☎591885 OPEN-MINDED Fun-loving, humorous SF, 18, 5’4”, blond/blue, likes shopping, clubbing, sports. Seeking SM for friendship and casual dating. ☎589903 PECAN TAN SF, 34, 5’3’’, 145lbs, looking for a kind, caring, and sweet man, 25-45, who can be my friend first. ☎581256 CHRISTIAN MAN WANTED SBF, 39, great sense of humor, great listener, desires a mate who possesses similar skills to enjoy various interests such as conversation, walks and Christian activities. Friendship first. ☎564814 CHRISTIAN WOMAN Intelligent, sexy SBF, 28, 5’6”, 135lbs, entrepreneur, educated, enjoys fishing, Jesus, dancing, working out, poetry, theater. Seeking SW/BCM, 26-38, for possible LTR. ☎570636 SWEET STRAWBERRY-BLONDE Kind, loving SWF, 28, strawberry-blonde, 5’7”, 196lbs, enjoys dining, movies, traveling, music. Seeking honest, responsible, kind, loving SWM, 28-35. Must like kids. ☎564951 READY FOR LOVE AGAIN Widowed WF, 45, 5’5”, blonde, 130, marriage minded, no rocking chair for me, let’s go!

Seeking SWM, 45-65, that is ready for LTR. ☎569448 LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 55, dark/blue, 135lbs. Seeking WM, 4555, for honest, romantic, and fun-loving relationship. ☎552267 TIME TO HAVE A BLAST Honest SWF, 43, enjoys spending time with my daughter, bowling, dining out, Nascar, movies, baseball games, camping. Seeking honest, genuine SWM, 43-50, for fun and friendship. ☎554752 START AS FRIENDS SF, 33, likes reading, writing poetry, fishing, travel. Looking for a man who needs a nice woman in his life. ☎579852 MAKE MY HEART LAUGH SBF, 22, 5’8”, 155lbs, part-time student, seeks sensual, kind man with a great heart, for movies, dining out, and open-minded conversation. ☎565120 INTERRACIAL SBF, 23, 5’8”, 140lbs, one daughter. Seeking honest and trustworthy SWM, 23-37, great body, great eyes, good personality. ☎566526 LOVE AND SHARE SWF, 45, N/S, mother of two, dog lover, seeks monogamous WM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎566590 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, mother of two, self-sufficient, 5’1”, 128lbs, seeks trustworthy, romantic SM for casual friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎574955 SIMILAR INTERESTS? SWF, 50, enjoys the outdoors. Seeking WM, 51-61, 5’8”+, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎567446 LONELY HEART Hard-working DWF, 41, 5’5”, 234lbs, brown/ blue, enjoys conversation, music, poetry, cuddling. Seeking DWM, 38-42, who still dreams of that one true love. ☎563879 FULL FIGURED SWF, 25, enjoys animals, bowling, dining-out, movies. Seeking WM, 20-39, for LTR. No games. ☎559564

GOOD GIRL HUNTING SWF, looks 35, 5’4”, 145lbs, blonde/hazel, seeks tall WM, 32-45, with good morals, that likes to have fun. ☎527072 LOOK NO FURTHER Attractive BF, 40, 5’7”, H/W proportionate, no kids, very spiritual, enjoys cooking, dining, outdoor activities. Seeking BM, 37-45, with similar interests. ☎965912 ARE YOU THE ONE? College educated SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, movies, traveling. Seeking same in SWM, 40-50, similar interests. ☎965910 ALL I CARE ABOUT... is me, my son, and you! Do you enjoy playing pool, movies, good times in general?

Friendship first. ☎491873 LOVES TO HAVE FUN SBF, Virgo, N/S, enjoys parties, movies, dining. Seeking honest SBM, 19-20, N/S, for possible LTR. ☎544490 WE SHOULD MEET SWF, 30, 5’5”, full-figured, shy, into movies, reading, intelligent conversation, basketball.

Seeking SM, 28-39, confident, for friendship. ☎965909 THAT GIRL DWF, 39, brown/brown, attractive, financially secure, enjoys travel, loves to be spoiled.

Seeking WM, 36-50. ☎965911 AN AUTUMN SPECIAL Hard-working WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs, blonde/ brown, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. Seeking WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. ☎965904 GIVE ME A CALL SWF, 50, looking for friendship, possible LTR with SWM, 48-53. ☎965917 BEING YOURSELF SBF, 27, N/S, 5’6”, 180lbs, brown/brown, open-minded, fun-loving, enjoys bowling, poetry, movies, quiet evenings. Seeking strong-minded SBM, 26-39. ☎965916 MUCH MORE!!

SWF, 32, 5’3”, full-figured, reddish/brown hair, brown eyes, enjoys swimming, poetry, horseback riding, shooting pool. Seeking secure, respectful SWM, 29-49. ☎965914 SOMEONE JUST FOR ME DWPF, 44, 5’5”, 135lbs, very pretty, ethereal, enjoys gardening, reading, working, animals.

Seeking SCM, 40-50, with similar interests. ☎965913 THE TWO OF US Beautiful, romantic SBF, 39, 5’6”, long black hair, enjoys swimming, ballgames, dancing, singing, movies. Seeking outgoing, clever SBM, 40-60. ☎965908 UNDER THE STARS SWF, 52, enjoys fishing, dancing, spending time with grand children. Seeking SWM, 5058, to spend quality time with. ☎965906

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net

ONE LOVE SBPM, 28, 5’11”, Capricorn, N/S, business, enjoys reading, cooking, music, movies.

Seeking woman, willing to try new things.

Age, race, weight unimportant. ☎656945 WHAT ABOUT YOU? Tall, blue-eyed blond Southern man, 6’4”, 265lbs, mows lawns for a living. Looking to meet simple, quiet gal, around 25, who likes the country lifestyle. ☎651620 REPUBLIC OF GEORGIA Brown/green, 6’2”, 160lbs, former police officer. I like everybody. Hard-working, nice guy, lots of time off and money to spend. Seeking compatible female, please call me! ☎574304 LET’S DANCE! DWM, 37, seeks WF, kids ok, with a vivacious personality, a love for dancing, and an interest in relationship. ☎645955 I’M SERIOUS! ARE YOU? SWM, 25, 5’10”, 165lbs, brown/blue, wants to share quiet evenings at home with a sweet caring SWF. ☎644397 HOPELESS ROMANTIC Hard-working DWM, 41, 5’10”, 140lbs, N/S, N/D, two kids, enjoys movies, bowling, fishing. Seeking easygoing WF, 35-45, with similar interests. Friendship first, possible LTR. ☎631228 YOUNG LOVE SWM, 19, fun-loving, humorous, Virgo, smoker, loves clubbing and sports events. Seeking WF, 18-23, for casual dating, perhaps something greater. ☎625248

SENSITIVE, BUT STRONG SBM, 31, 190lbs, athletic build, handsome, enjoys church, working out, movies, and sports. Seeking woman, 21-35, with similar values. ☎626248 TIME OF YOUR LIFE Fun-loving BM in search of sexy WF, openminded, for casual dating and a great time.

Ages 18-35. Me? I’m 28. ☎622537 THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE Independent SWM, 32, looking for a sweet, romantic, financially secure lady, who loves kids, enjoys Nascar, long walks on the beach, cuddling, horseback ridding and spontaneity.

Why not call? ☎616508 HOME IS WHERE The heart is. Educated SWM, 33, self employed, veteran, enjoys family and friends.

Seeking HF, 24-31, for LTR. ☎601113 LAID-BACK SBM, 22, seeks cool, laid-back, open-minded SBF, 20-25, N/S, for friendship and possibly more. ☎571587 SOMETHING SO RIGHT I am looking for a WF who likes long walks, romantic evenings and bowling. SBM, 29, is looking for love. ☎646710 NOT A JOCK 5’11”, 40, brown/blue, 200lbs, handsome, intelligent, business owner, part-time chef, some real estate, enjoys making money, traveling, jazz, rock. Seeking beautiful, broad minded, peace-loving woman, 25 to 35, no Nascar please. ☎570889 LONELY AND WIDOWED SWM, 58, seeks nice, caring, understanding WF, 45-60, N/S, for quality times and friendship. Let’s fill each others life with joy and happiness. ☎599636 DOWN AND OUT SBPM, 50, 5’8”, 190lbs, enjoys sports, travel, the city and more. Seeking nice WPF, 35-45, N/S, to enjoy each others company. ☎599875

Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

5

Mobile Dating. The easiest way to meet great people.

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ABBREVIATIONS

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

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61

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

,call 1-866-832-4685

To respond to ads using a GOING TO THE RACES! SWM, 23, 5’10”, 150lbs, adventurous, smoker, likes the outdoors, sports, racing, dining, wrestling, movies. Seeking outgoing SF, 1835, for friendship. ☎965977 NEW COMER TO AREA SBM, 42, 5’8”, 160lbs, shy, likes baseball, cooking, country music, kids. Seeking SF, 2450, full-figured, for LTR. ☎965976 LET’S TALK SWM, 46, N/S, 5’10”, 200lbs, enjoys outdoors, hunting, country music, bowling and flea markets. Seeking SWF, 35-50, hardworking, honest. ☎965975

OUTGOING SEEKS SAME SM, 35, who enjoys gardening, working out, sports, fishing, long walks in the park, would like to meet an outgoing man for LTR. ☎594617 YOUNG MAN WANTED GWM, 22, brown/brown, pretty good-looking, in search of cute, down-to-earth GWM for movies, dinners, shopping, roller blading. ☎576230 ARE YOU MR. RIGHT? SWM, 51, 5’8’’, 150lbs, likes dining out, quiet evenings, walks and hugs. Seeking SWM, 2035, slim build, with similar interests. ☎584644 SEEKING MAN OF COLOR GWM, 31, 5’8”, 164lbs, brown/gray, moustache, goatee, down-to-earth, very openminded, seeks SB/HM, 23+, for friendship, maybe more. ☎575272 GUY SWEET TALK SWM, 6’2”, 240lbs, brown/blue, 52, dating first, possible relationship, enjoys walking, hand holding and talks. Seeking SWM, 30-40, with feelings. ☎966007 YOU NEVER KNOW Fun-loving, easygoing GWM, 51, 5’11”, 200lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, fishing, walking. Seeking interesting GWM, 18-33, who’s full of life. ☎966036 NICE Outgoing, nice SBM, 31, 5’8”, 153lbs, seeks sexy SBM, 25-39, ☎966022 BE MY TEDDYBEAR Athletic SBM, 23, college student, enjoys basketball. Seeking heavyset SWM, 35-48. ☎966035 WARM AND LOVING GWM, 18, 5’8”, 145lbs, blue eyes, outgoing, friendly, loves shopping, arts & crafts, photography. Seeking GM, 18-45, for a committed relationship. ☎966034 AWAITING YOUR CALL Outgoing SWM, 38, likes drinking, playing pool. Seeking fun-loving SWM, 25-45, for good times, future commitment. ☎966032 MAKE IT HAPPEN SBM, 32, 5’11”, adventurous, likable, likes drawing, more. Seeking SAM, 18-35, respectful, fun-loving, for LTR. ☎966031 QUIET TIMES Well-built SWM, 48, enjoys hiking, movies, dining out, beach walks. Seeking SWM, 3540, for intimate relationship. ☎966030 SPECIAL SOMEONE Open-minded GWM, 38, seeks GWM, 30-50, for LTR. ☎966021 WHAT DO YOU WANT? SWM, 31, 5’8”, 175lbs, masculine, muscular, passionate, dedicated, open, enjoys simple things, time with friends. Seeking SWM, 3045, for LTR. ☎966019 TRY NEW THINGS SWM, 45, outgoing, sociable, open-minded, enjoys fishing, golfing, reading, quiet times.

Seeking SM, 25-45, for friendship, possibly more. ☎966017 GET TO KNOW ME SBM, 30, N/S, enjoys having a good time.

Seeking SBM, 20-40. ☎966018 GET TOGETHER GHM, 30, 5’6”, 165lbs, extroverted, enjoys sports, movies, walks, cuddling. Seeking outgoing GWM, 25-35, for friendship. ☎966016

How do you

SIMILAR COMPLEX BPM, 37, enjoys going out, movies, shopping, quiet evenings. Seeking GBM, 35-40, who’s real, down-to-earth, knows what they want. ☎966010 GIVE ME A CALL! Outgoing, friendly GWM, 35, N/S, seeks GM, 21-50, for friendship and fun. He likes movies, cooking, malls, and quiet times. ☎966009 TAKE THAT CHANCE GBM who likes quiet evenings, dining out, movies and stimulating conversations. Seeking SBM, 34-45, for friendship, possibly more. ☎966008 MELODY OF LOVE WM, 40, 6’, 185lbs, enjoys sports, swimming, cycling and movies. Seeking WM, 25-50, to spend time with. ☎966015 FRIENDSHIP Or companionship. BM, 26, 5’8”, father, not into playing games, enjoys quiet walks.

Seeking male, 21-35. ☎966014 NEW TO TOWN GWM, 31, 5’8”, 175lbs, brown/brown, masculine, country boy, passionate, dedicated, HIV positive. Seeking GWM, 30-45, for LTR. ☎966013 OUT SPOKEN SWM, 32, 5’11”, 145lbs, enjoys camping, fishing, Nascar. Seeking laid-back WM, 2335, for LTR. ☎560095 ARE YOU READY? SWM, 42, 5’7”, 160lbs, blue-eyed, athletic, outgoing, enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking SWM, 21-55, adventurous, for casual times. ☎966012 GIVE LOVE; GET LOVE BACK SM, 35, 6’2’’, 190lbs, black hair, medium build, seeks understanding, achieved man who is escalating himself in life. ☎576303 LIVES THE MOMENT GWM, 51, romantic, adventurous, younglooking, 5’10”, 165lbs, likes quiet evenings, movies. Seeking SWM, 35-50, sincere, blond preferably, fit. ☎966011 DOCTOR FIX IT GBM, enjoys chess, racquetball, auto mechanic. Seeking WM with similar interests. ☎566315 SOULMATE SEARCHING In shape, physically fit, into fitness; running, SBM, 31, open-minded, attractive, smoker, outgoing. Seeking SM, 21-40, attractive in mind, body and soul. ☎966006 LISTEN UP! 5’9”, 190lbs, short haircut, SBM, 25, nice personality, many interests. Seeking SM, 23-40, friendly, down-to-earth. See where this goes.

Call me. ☎966004

I’D LOVE YOU TO LOVE ME SBF, 41, no children, loves to read, chat on the internet, and more. Seeking a woman who is a romantic at heart, very good-looking, loves pets, family and God. ☎645876 GET TO KNOW THE REAL ME Dark-skinned young woman, 23, 4’9”, attractive, fun-loving, nice, caring, honest, laidback. Seeking GF, 23-29, for casual relationship. ☎635372 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP Tall, slim, attractive SWF, 34, single mom, enjoys travel. Seeking athletic, easygoing, humorous, fun SWF, 26-45, to go out and have good times. ☎572618 SECURITY GUARD Laid-back female, 41, likes movies, dining out, cooking, quiet evenings. Seeking similarminded male for companionship. ☎589877 I’M LOOKING 4 U Easygoing, loyal SBF, 31, 5’3”, 155lbs, security officer, people person, fun-loving, nice, caring, honest, enjoys bowling, movies, cuddling at home. Seeking trustworthy, outgoing SBF, 26-35, for friendship, maybe LTR. ☎965835 ARE WE POSSIBLE? GBF, 24, seeks GW/HF, 25-35. I’m outgoing, beautiful, intelligent, with a great mind.

Hoping to meet a woman with a willingness to enjoy life. ☎566252

FRIENDS FIRST SBF, 40, 5’3”, 160lbs, laid-back, outgoing, enjoys reading movies, cuddling and dining out. Seeking SBF, 30-55, for friendship first. ☎965834 ZEST FOR LIFE Articulate, adventurous WF, 32, 5’8”, brown/ brown, enjoys animals, running, movies and dining. Looking for WF, 25-40, for friendship. ☎965827 GIVE ME A CALL GBF, 20, down-to-earth, likes dancing, movies, walks in the park. Seeking GF, 21-35, for friendship and conversation. ☎965826 ISO SOMEONE SPECIAL Fun-loving, romantic, sincere SBPF, 25, 5’1”, 170lbs, enjoys shopping, cooking, dining out.

Seeking open-minded, romantic, fun-loving SBF, 21-28. ☎965842 YOU DECIDE GBF, 21, 5’7”, 140lbs, enjoys quiet times at home. Seeking fun GBF, 19-28, for conversation and possibly more. ☎965840 UP FOR GOOD TIMES GBF, 20, 5’3”, 130lbs, friendly, outgoing, loves meeting new people, reading, writing. Seeking outgoing, friendly GBF, 19-25. ☎965838 SEARCHING FOR U! SBF, 18, 5’4”, 132lbs, attractive, reserved, likes reading, music, family times. Seeking outgoing, down-to-earth, funny SBF, 18-45, for friendship. ☎965837 FRIENDSHIP FIRST! Funny, smart, down-to-earth GBF, 5’6”, 125lbs, loves long walks, hand holding. Seeking GF, 21-30, who likes kids and doesn’t play games. ☎965829 WASTE NO TIME GBF, 36, enjoys dining out, cooking, dining out. Seeking attractive, open-minded, fun, nice GF, 25-45, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965823 LOOKING FOR A QUEEN SBF, 30, one child, articulate, athletic, sense of humor, enjoys dancing. Seeking SF, 24-35, for conversation, friendship. No head games. ☎965822

ISO YOU SBF, 25, mother, adventurous, N/S, loves art, poetry, animals. Seeking SBF, 25-35, goaloriented, for a casual relationship. ☎965836 KIND AND CARING GBF, 24, 5’2”, 170lbs, blond hair, energetic, loving, enjoys movies, shopping, cooking. Seeking romantic, outgoing GBF, 21-27. ☎965819 IT COULD BE SWEET Laid-back SBF, 25, 5’4”, medium-built, into chats, pool, various films, music, books. Seeking caring, understanding SF, N/S. ☎965833 YOUNG AT HEART Active GWF, 60, 5’5”, 122lbs, brown hair, enjoys meeting new people, dining out, short trips.

Seeking plus-sized GWF, 45-60. ☎965820 WOULDN’T IT BE NICE? Shy, honest GWF, 40, 5’1”, 128lbs, salt & pepper hair, brown eyes, loves outdoor activities, traveling. Seeking GWF, 30-45. ☎965839 NO ORDINARY LOVE SBF, 27, seeks feminine SF for companionship, dining out, someone who wants something real. No games. ☎965832 BEST IS YET TO COME! GWF, 40, seeks GF, 30+, for casual friendship. No stress needed, but willing and ready for what comes my way. ☎965830 LET’S GET TOGETHER SF, 24, 5’4”, 185lbs, dark brown hair, likes singing and family-oriented activities. Seeking SBF, 2233, for friendship, possibly more. ☎965828 GIVE ME A RING Cute SBF, 30-something, seeks attractive SF, 25-45, for friendship, maybe more. No games. ☎965825 WHY NOT? GBF, 24, 5’4”, 145lbs, dark-skinned, short hair, has a wide variety of interests. Seeking GF, 2130, for friendship and conversation. ☎965824 SOMETHING DIFFERENT SWF, 41, 5’3”, 115lbs, blue-eyed blond, enjoys casual drinking, movies, dining.

Seeking WF, 35-45, with similar interests, for fun, exciting times. ☎965821

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LETS HAVE DINNER Honest, caring, considerate SWM, 42, 5’7”, 150lbs, enjoys cuddling, romance and more.

Seeking compassionate WF, 32-45, N/S, for LTR. ☎595934 SOMETHING WE BOTH NEED Is friendship. SBM, 22, seeks woman, 20-29.

So if your sweet, caring and kind then we can be friends and maybe more. ☎603104 LOOKING FOR LTR SM, 41, 5’10’’, likes playing basketball, chess, long walks, picnics. Would like to meet a woman who has the same interests. ☎594412 THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER SM, 46, 5’10”, 200lbs, likes sports, chess, movies, quiet walks and evenings, socializing. Seeking mature, full-figured SWF with inner and outer beauty. ☎590295 SEEKING SF, 21-46 SBM, 35, looking for casual relationship first, possible LTR. I enjoy malls, movies, rivers, quiet times at home. ☎579190 THE FUTURE IS WIDE OPEN SWM, 38, works in construction, enjoys movies, sports, hiking, mountains, camping.

Looking for serious relationship with SF, 3060. ☎578727 VERY ROMANTIC SWM, 53, loves beaches, outdoors, sports, flea markets. Seeking a woman who can be honest and would appreciate a one-woman man. ☎576845 IN SEARCH OF TRUE LOVE WM, 40, 5’7’’, 140lbs, very loving, affectionate, passionate, caring, honest, sincere, with great personality, seeks open-minded female, 20-40, who knows the meaning of true love and commitment. ☎579693 AUTHOR SWM, 29, 5’11”, 198lbs, published writer, cook, enjoys reading, writing, movies, intelligent conversation. Seeking slender, intelligent, loving WF, 25-33, who likes kids. ☎565627 A GOOD MAN. SWM, 31, 5’10”, 165lbs, brown/brown, good shape, good job, variety of interests. Seeking down-to-earth SWF, 20-35, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎567940 LET’S MEET Shy SWM, 32, 5’9”, 221lbs, brown hair, enjoys bowling, ballgames. Seeking honest, friendly, caring SWF, 22-40. ☎966028 LIFE IS FUN Sensitive SBM, 44, enjoys bowling and sports.

Seeking woman, 25-50, for LTR. ☎553053 HARD WORKING SWM, 51, 5’10”, 198lbs, retired from the military, enjoys travel, tv, movies. Seeking woman, 35-56, for LTR. ☎552587 LISTEN UP! WM, 45, 6’, 220lbs, dark blonde hair, outgoing, loves music, animals, outdoors, pleasing person. ☎966005 INTERRACIAL SBM, employed, enjoys chess, basketball, auto mechanics. Seeking WF, 33-55 for possible LTR. ☎965999 GIVE ME A CALL! SBM, 6’1”, 270lbs, seeking SBPF, 35-50, for friendship, movies, walks in the park, and dining out. ☎965993 GREAT SCOTT Retired DWM, 52, 6’4”, 155lbs, reddish/ blonde hair, enjoys dancing, seeks similar female. ☎965991 COMPASSION SM, 53, 6’, 180lbs, musician, loving, communicative, loves bowling, dancing, walks, car racing. Seeking attractive, compassionate SWF, 21-60, for a LTR. ☎965990 LOOKING FOR MY LADY SWM, 35, 6’1”, 195lbs, blond/blue, enjoys cooking, dining, dancing, quiet evenings.

Seeking SWF, 25-40, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎965988 WATCH THE SUNRISE SBM, 25, 6’9”, 225lbs, has a wide variety of interests. Seeking outgoing, sweet, caring SF, 20-39, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965987 ROMANCE IS ALIVE DWPM, 56, educated, cultured, seeks WF for LTR and romantic adventure. I’m very athletic, musical, 5’10”, muscular build, good, patient listener. ☎965984

M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

62 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

Classifieds Art Instruction

Equipment

MOSAIC CLASSES Join the fun, learn the ar t of mosaic!

Two-day Workshops. $125.00 Schedule: 9/14 & 9/15.

Call Heather 481-0789.

Sign up early, small classes.

(09/05#7744)

Employment HELP WANTED Video game programmer wanted For unique ground floor business oppor tunity.

Call Greg for more info 706-394-4570 (09/26#7805)

www.metspirit.com Mind, Body & Spirit Skinny Dip Much?

We do! Yah even in the winter!

Well at least in our spas.

The Augusta Naturists Check us out @ ht tp://members.aol.com/nudlikeme2/augusta_naturists.htm Or Write PO Box 3152, Augusta, GA 30904-3152 (09/05#7797)

High Quality • Low Prices WOLFF TANNING BEDS Payments From $25/month Home Delivery FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-888-839-5160 www.np.etstan.com (09/05#7696)

Mind, Body & Spirit Gentle Hands Experience the most soothing full body therapeutic massage. Given in a tranquil yet friendly enviroment. Facials are available.

803-441-0001 (09/05#7768) Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr.

Call Joy - 771-9470 or John - 474-1314 (10/10#7750)

Mrs. Graham Psychic

L❤ve & Light HEALING CENTER

TELLS ALL

HYPNOSIS WORKS! Stop

Advises on Past, Present & Future

Smoking Lose Weight

Get Answers Angel Harp Therapy

Specializing in Love Affairs

Betty L❤ ve, CHT Intuitive Counselor

733-5851

Reiki Classes 1, 2 & 3

NEW LOCATION

2477 Wrightsboro Rd.

733-4187 ❤ 733-8550

341 South Belair Rd Off I-20 Next to the New Food Lion

Miscellaneous For Sale Book, 1st Thus. “Red Book of Appin” pub.

James Miller. 1866. Good+, Cloth. Tex t concerning the supernatural. $200. 2846429, David. (11/07#7807) Refrigerator/Magic Chef -15 cubic foot Freezer over 6 years old - Looks new, excellent condition, white. $175.00 - 541-0656 (10/31#7798) Rascal Electric Scooter Excellant Condition $3,000.00 Call, 722-0451 B/T 1:30 - 4:30 or Evenings 722-0119 (10/24#7782) Aluminum Racing Seat, $175, 14” Black cover, Kirkey, NEW 706-860-1237, Evenings. (10/24#7784) Transmission for 1984 Ford Ranger, 5 spd 2 wheel drive, $400 OBO, Call 706-736-6159 (10/24#7787) Three older couches $30.00 each, One 70 pound punching bag w/accessories $50.00.

One light metal frame computer desk with rolling chair $20.00. Call or Leave message, 772-9228 (10/24#7788) Nice Queen Size Sleeper Sofa Navy with Pansies, Wing Chair to match $150.00, Call af ter 5:00pm - 868-1384 (10/24#7786) Store Clothes Fix tures. 8 Total, with 2 or 4 arms on each. $25.00 Each, 803-594-9099 (10/24#7789) Pool Table 4 X 6.5 Ft. Green Cloth, Accessories $99.00 (10/24#7785) Crystal Stemware, Mikasa Venezia, Iced Tea, 12, Mint Cond, Paid $150, Asking $80.00 (706) 840-8635 Leave message.

(10/24#7783) HP Laser Printer-600x600 dpi, Like new, $250.00, 706-793-8834 (10/24#7780)

Become A Massage Therapist

Silent Flame Wood Stove with fan pipe too. $250.00 706-595-8832 or 595-4883 (10/24#7779)

“Augusta School Of Massage Inc. is now accepting applications for day & evening classes. Ask how to receive a free massage table!”

Floral Paintings California Roses & Apples of Spring $10.00 Each, 737-9335 (10/24#7778)

Augusta NC

Alt. Lifestyles

Marlboro Station Where the Party Never Stops!

EVERY THURSDAY Talent Night $1.00 Beer

www.mccaugustaga.homestead.com/home.html

FRIDAY & SATURDAY Show Night w/ Special Guests

Sports

SUNDAY NIGHT Starlight Cabaret w/ Claire Storm & Lauren Alexander

WANTED MASTERS Cash Paid for Old Masters Badges & Masters Memoriabilia Paying Top Dollar 706-724-5648 or 706-399-5208 or 399-1208 (09/05#7791)

Talk Line VEGAS XXX TALK! Luscious Sin City Girls! ** Live One on One ** CHEAP 66¢ to $1 per minute Choose the Model you want Unrestricted 24 hrs. 18+ 1-702-216-3500 CC/Checks accepted A-10 (11/14#7721)

Wed-Fri 8pm-5am Sat 8pm-3am; Sun 8pm-5am 141 Marlboro Street, Aiken • 803-644-6485 w w w.marlboro.4mg.net 18 to Party • 21 to Drink

THE COLISEUM Hot High Energy Dance Music And Laser Light Show

Friday, 9/6 Diane Chanel Saturday, 9/7 Rabionne

Telephone Tired of dealing with your current telephone service provider? Try MyLine, a new residential calling plan recently introduced to SC. With FREE nationwide calling, bundled with calling features and long distance service for as low as 3.9 cents per minute. For more information call 803-441-6547 (09/05#7793)

Place Your Yard Sale Ad Today!

Drink Specials: Wed - $7 Wet N' Wild Fri & Sat - $9 All You Can Drink Draft Sat - $2 Bud/Bud Light Hot Dog Buffet $2.99 Open Mon-Fri 7pm-3am Sat 7pm-2:30am Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603 • www.ColiseumAugusta.com Club Incognito Swingers 1923 Walton Way Parking & Entrance in back on Heckle St. Enter Upstairs Only Every Friday & Saturday 9:00 to Close Couples - $5.00 Single Women -No Cover Single Men Par ty Downstairs Optional af ter hours par ty $40.00 Couples Only!

Call, e-mail or write P.O. Box 540, Augusta, GA 30903 for event details 706-481-8829 or CSRAswingers@aol.com (10/17#7795)

Travel

Golf Club Hippo Driver 9° Ultra light shaf t, Like new $80.00, 738-4270 (10/24#7790)

School of

MASSAGE, I .

Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com

Book For Sale The Black West Buf falo Soldiers 10th Cav., $225.00 OBO 706-5609782 (10/24#7776)

Call today for details!

3512 1/2 Wheeler Road, Augusta • Near the Family Y

733-2040

Advertise your Yard Sale in The Metro Spirit Classifieds!

Wheels

NEW ORLEANS $199/DBL October 11th-13th Visit website or call for details www.nuagetravel.com 706-736-3302 (9/12#7772)

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

706/829-2676

CALL 738-1142 TO PLACE YOUR CLASSIFIED AD TODAY!

OR

706/798-9060

■ Automotive Spirit

63 M E T R O

Free Automotive Ads

S P I R I T

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT AND GERALD JONES HONDA

Cars NEW MAZDA’S, At least $2000 up to $6000 off New Mazda’s Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (456/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1958 RAMBLER AMERICAN, 2dr, new paint and tires, beautiful old car $1800 803-648-2417 (468/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1972 BMW 2002 Classic. Brand new, completely rebuilt engine, under 1000 miles, $2000 OBO 706-738-5606 (99/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1976 CORVETTE STINGRAY, red, t-tops, luggage rack, great condition, new tires, $8500 803-6418171 (280/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1976 MUSTANG COBRA, 7-70 1/8, 12.30 1/4, $3500, 803-6482417 (469/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1985 MAZDA GLC, 5spd, am/fm, cass, blue/grey 30 mpg, runs, $700 706-863-6896 (440/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1985 PONTIAC GRAND Prix, body in GC, engine needs rebuilding $500 706-792-0374 (106/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1986 BCW CONV, (1952 MG/TD replica classic) beige, 4cyl, 4spd Chevy Chevette chassis/drive train $7000 firm 706-736-3393 (441/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1986 FORD LTD, 4dr, loaded, extra clean, V6, $1000, 706-7368931 or 803-561-3626 (pgr) (467/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 PONTIAC GRAND Prix, good running condition, needs radiator and paint job, $500 OBO, 803-641-2911 (478/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 HONDA ACCORD EX, 5spd, $1250, runs good ask for Rachael 706-836-1432 (113/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 HONDA ACCORD, 2dr, 5spd, 4cyl, CD, cold AC, runs well 706-231-2280 (111/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1991 ACURA LEGEND, 4dr, sunroof, CD, AC, am/fm, champagne, GC, well maint., MSTA, $6000 OBO 706-863-2738 (436/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 FORD TEMPO, good work car $350, 803-502-1512 (477/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 MERCEDES 190, 4dr, sunroof, auto, very clean, $5990, Auto Liquidators 706-560-0667 (460/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 FORD PROBE, 5spd, black, p/w, p/l, $2000 706-737-6754 (107/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 HONDA ACCORD, SE, leather, AC, auto, fog lights, SR, ABS, 1 owner, CD, Bose speakers, $7995, 706-863-3441 (429/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 PONTIAC GRAND AM, cold air, XC, great for back to school

$2800 OBO 706-736-6644 (349/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 PONTIAC GRAND AM, burgundy, one owner car, very neat $2800, 706-863-7383 (105/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 TOYOTA CAMRY LE, 4dr, silver/grey int. 131K, sunroof, CD $5000 OBO 706-228-3357 (98/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 ACURA INTEGRA, LS, 4dr, auto, very clean, $8995, Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (354/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 ACURA LEGEND, all power, sunroof, leather, new tires, Bose radio w/tape player, V6, x-clean, black $11,995, 706-597-7075 (442/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 CADILLAC FLEETWOOD, gold, moon roof, good condition, 140K, $5500 803-279-5541 or 803-215-2418 (475/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 CHRYSLER LHS, 3.5, V6, auto, AC, power everything, maroon/gray leather, fm/CD, 101K $4500 706-854-5207 (432/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 FORD TEMPO, 4dr, auto, cold AC, clean, no damage, new CD, white, $2200 OBO, day 706399-1829 or eve 706-560-2025 (283/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 LEXUS SL, 400, gold pkg, fully loaded, 77K, pampered, garaged, XC $17,000 706-8637021 (433/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 LEXUS ES, 300, black/tan leather, auto, am/fm, CD, air, SR, 99K, XC, must STB, below book $8900 706-793-6046 (344/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 NISSAN MAXIMA, SLE, V6, 5spd, white/tan leather, all power, CD, spoiler, moonroof, VGC, $5000 706-294-2691 (473/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 BUICK RIVERA, power S/R, leather int., CD, super charger engine, $6500, 803-439-0669 (438/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 CADILLAC CONCOURS, 32 valve, NavStar, 79K, loaded, wheels, CD, cass, leather, heated seats, new Michelins $7999 803648-7375 (439/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 CHRYSLER LEBARON, conv., auto, 3.0L, runs good, needs a little exterior work, must sell $2800 OBO 706-437-1133 (273/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 GEO STORM, 5spd, blue/grey, excellent gas mileage & AC, $2000 706-855-2288, 706513-6713, 706-834-2338 (295/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 INFINITI Q45T, loaded, silver, $15,000 706-799-7817 (112/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 LEXUS LS400, pearl w/tan leather, original owner, sunroof, phone, CD changer, memory seating, no sales tax $15,000 706-793-

S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

the power of dreams

GERALD JONES

HONDA 2 0 0 3 G O R D O N H I G H W AY • A U G U S TA , G A • 7 0 6 - 7 3 3 - 2 2 1 0 • W W W. G E R A L D J O N E S H O N D A . C O M

2975 (275/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 LINCOLN CONTINENTAL, hunter green/brown leather, V8, air, all power options, 4dr, x-clean $6900 706-722-7542 or 706-7364530 (435/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 SATURN SC1, black gold, tan cloth int., auto, 88K, $3500, 706-738-8769 (284/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 TOYOTA CAMRY, black, auto, all power, 110K, very dependable, XC $5500 OBO (706) 868-9227 (191/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 ACURA 3.5RL, black/grey leather, 82K, XC, $14,500, 706481-8777 (day) (474/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 CHEVROLET CAMERO, 41K, factory purple, 5spd, AC, FM, Cass, immaculate, one owner, $9500 OBO, 706-868-0090 (472/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 LEXUS LX 450, 4WD, AC, PS, PB, alloy wheels, CD, P/sunroof, Xclean, 90K, $17,500 706737-6100 (110/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 PLYMOUTH NEON, 58K, 2dr, auto, AC $3995, Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (359/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 TOYOTA CAMRY, LE, 4dr, auto, PW, PL, tilt, cruise, clean $6990, Auto Liquidators 706-5600667 (461/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 DODGE NEON, auto, air, am/fm, 95K, great student car, $3500 706-650-8550 or 706-5641157 (236/912) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD ESCORT, LX, 54K, 4dr, auto, AC, PW, PL, $5300, #B8778, Bobby Jones Ford 706738-8000 (403/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD ESCORT, excellent condition, $2990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (331/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 HONDA ACCORD, SE, auto, loaded $10,995 Gerald Jones

Honda 706-733-2210 (357/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 MAZDA MILLENNIA, black/beige leather, moon roof, auto, full power, GC, 65K, $12,000 OBO 803-641-0630 (101/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE, brand new motor, and transmission, 5spd, more mods, tinted windows, $8000 OBO, 803-593-3265 (479/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 SATURN SL1, extra clean, 52K, $6490, Auto Liquidators 706560-0667 (462/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 TOYOTA CAMRY, V6, $8990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800207-5771 (320/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 TOYOTA COROLLA, local trade, $6,990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (462/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 FORD CONTOUR, 4dr, auto, air, p/w, p/l, pacific green, 62K, VGC, $5000, 803-648-2417 (470/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 HONDA ACCORD, EX, V6, certified, $13,990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (322/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 HONDA CIVIC, 2dr, AC, cass, sunroof, sporty $7990, Auto Liquidators 706-560-0667 (459/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 KIA SEPHIA, 4DR, 48K, auto, AC, cass, $3999, call Mark@ Acura of Augusta 800-851-5158 (427/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 LINCOLN CONTINENTAL, $15,990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (324/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 PONTIAC FIREBIRD, Coupe, red hot, auto, fully loaded, like new, V6, $8999, call Adam@ Acura of Augusta 800-851-5158 (419/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 BUICK CENTURY, custom, fully loaded, GC, 79K, $9500 neg.

706-598-0381 (437/103)

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 CADILLAC CATERA, sunroof, loaded, special, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (327/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 CHRYSLER CONCORD, affordable luxury, $13,650 Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (390/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 CHRYSLER SEBRING Coupe, $16,900 Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (391/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD MUSTANG, LX auto, w/GT wheels, $12,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (448/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD MUSTANG, new tires, leather, spoiler, wheels, mach audio, conv, $14,350 #B8771 Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (406/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA ACCORD, black, rear spoiler, wood grain, CD, power pack, $14,990 Budget Car Sales, ask for Tim 706-228-5227 (375/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA ACCORD EX, white/tan, alloy wheels, CD, sunroof, all power, XC, non-smoker, clean, 1 owner, 43K, $14,999 (706) 825-3080 (108/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MAZDA 626, gold, tan leather, power roof, low miles $11,995, Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (355/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MERCURY MYSTIQUE, silver, all power, tinted, windows, spoiler, 21 K $10,873 Budget Car Sales, ask for Tony 706-228-5227 (376/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MERCURY SABLE, 42K, leather, CD, roof, climate control, low payments Budget Car Sales, ask for Tony 706-228-5227 (377/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 NISSAN MAXIMA, local trade, AC, all power, auto, super nice & clean, $10,995, #28061A,

Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (401/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 SATURN SW2, local trade, 24K, $9990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (329/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 BUICK PARK Ave, low miles, one owner $18,990. Honda Cars of Aiken, 800-207-5771 (326/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 DODGE NEON, 4dr, auto, AC, 34K, super clean, $6800, #28143B, Bobby Jones Ford 706738-8000 (409/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA CIVIC EX, auto, low miles, $13,190 Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (328/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 MITSUBISHI MIRAGE, 4dr, auto, AC, local trade, 35K, $7000, #P8790A, Bobby Jones Ford 706738-8000 (400/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 NISSAN ALTIMA GXE, pearl white, loaded, CD, alarm, keyless entry, warranty 51K hwy miles, well maintained. $10,000 706-2101850 (98/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 SATURN SL1, 1 owner, 4dr, like new, AC, cass, $6999, call Lloyd@ Acura of Augusta 800-8515158 (426/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 DAEWOO LAGANZA SE, full size, 4dr, sedan, 18.5K, low, low price, $9876, Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (392/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 DODGE NEON, low miles, $9990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800207-5771 (330/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 FORD MUSTANG, red, CD, PW, PS, V6, sporty, low miles, Budget Car Sales, ask for Carla 706-228-5227 (378/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 HONDA CIVIC, EX, low miles, $14,990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (325/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 HONDA CIVIC, LX, auto,

continued on page 64

64 continued from page 63 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

low, low miles, $12,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (451/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 HONDA CIVIC LX, 5spd, low miles, warranty, silver/grey $13,000 706-738-6454 (104/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 MAZDA 626, LX, 4dr, auto, power pkg, low miles $13,200, Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (397/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 PONTIAC FIREBIRD, V6, ttops, auto, low miles, chrome wheels, $16,380, Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (393/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 PONTIAC GRAND, AM, SE, auto, power windows and locks, $12,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803279-9143 (449/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 SUZUKI ESTEEM, Wagon, auto, full power, low miles, great gas mileage, $12,990 Budget Car

Sales, ask for Tim 706-228-5227 (379/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 DODGE INTREPID, silver, clean car, $15,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (453/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 FORD MUSTANG, CD, power everything, clean, economical, Budget Car Sales, ask for Pic 706-228-5227 (380/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 KIA SPECTRA, 3K, payments as low as $210 mthly w/approved credit, Budget Car Sales, ask for Tim 706-228-5227 (381/905)

Motorcycles 1996 BMW K1100LT, red, 38.5K, sport touring, many extras, 706303-6021(d) 706-738-6021(e) (464/1010) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

2000 HONDA XR650R, enduro/trail bike, XC, many extras, MSTA, $4000, 706-309-9526 (458/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 SUZUKI DRZ400E, brand new, showroom quality, no time to ride, will deliver, new $5300, asking $3800 firm 706-799-9324 (277/905)

SUVs NEW ISUZU’S, At least $4000 up to $7500 off New Isuzu’s Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (455/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 GMC JIMMY, low price, body in good shape, letting it go in a hurry, 706-466-2148 (465/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 JEEP WRANGLER JV 327 engine, 700R trans., great project car, 33” tires, $7000, cell 706-3998110 or 706-650-8038 (90/919)

/// ANDY JONES MAZDA ISUZU 1999 TOYOTA CAMRY Automatic, 29K Miles All Power, Nice Car

$11,990

2000 FORD FOCUS 31K Miles, One Owner

$8,995 LARGE SELECTION OF USED CARS & TRUCKS, ALL MAKES AND MODELS Visit us in North Augusta at the top of the rise on the Aiken-Augusta Highway

ANDY JONES MAZDA ISUZU 803.202.0002

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 JEEP CHEROKEE, 4wd, blue, must sell $2600, 706-5412088 (481/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 JEEP CHEROKEE, 4dr, 2wd, white, x-clean, air, runs good, $3300 706-722-7542 or 706-7364530 (434/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 FORD EXPLORER, Eddie Bauer Edition, green/tan, low miles, new tires, XC, hitch, running boards, one owner $8500 706651-9859 (318/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 CHEVY BLAZER, 4dr, 4X4, dark green, V6, auto, fully loaded, $8995, Gerald Jones Honda 706733-2210 (350/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 ISUZU RODEO, V6, 5spd, 52K, towing hitch, PL/W, silver/grey, XC, must see $9100 803-663-9781 (445/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 ISUZU TROOPER, Ltd., fully loaded, power everything, 4WD, great cond. 89K $10,500 706-2847883 (274/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 SUBARU OUTBACK, $8990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800207-5771 (319/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 FORD BRONCO II, 5spd, cold air, new battery, new tires, fog lights, running boards, Bronco tire cover low miles, $2500 OBO 706736-6644 (348/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD EXPEDITION, XLT, black, V8, CD, cass, PS, PW, running boards, must see $19,999, Budget Car Sales, ask for Carla 706-228-5227 (382/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD EXPLORER, XLT, all colors, all options, 13 to choose from starting $15,825, Budget Car Sales, ask for Tony 706-228-5227 (383/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA CRV, certified, $15,990, Honda Cars of Aiken

800-207-5771 (333/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA CRV, non-smoker, green, XC, 36K $14,900, 803-2796287 (444/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA PASSPORT, hunter green, V-6, AT, AC, P/sunroof, PW, PL, cruise, security system, XC 43K $17,900 neg. 706-854-7633 (89/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 JEEP CHEROKEE, 4X4, auto, full power, needs a home $13,990, Budget Car Sales, ask for Tim 706-228-5227 (384/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 JEEP WRANGLER, Sahara, V6, auto, AC, alloys, new tires $15,600, Gerald Jones Select 706733-1035 (399/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MITSUBISHI MONTERO, Sport, 4X2, auto, AC, PW, PL, V6, great vehicle, $12,800, #28129A, Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (407/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MITSUBISHI MONTERO, loaded, great deal, great price, great drive, $14,957, Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (398/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 NISSAN FRONTIER XE, silver, auto, air, sliding rear window, bedliner, $10,600,OBO 706-7360317 (109/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 TOYOTA 4-RUNNER, auto, all power, $17,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (452/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 FORD ESCAPE, XLS, 13K, all power, $14,590, #B8731, Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (404/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 FORD EXPEDITION XLT, leather, alloys, low miles $22,710, Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (394/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 FORD EXPLORER, Sport Trac, black, CD, sunroof, sport wheels 33K, Budget Car Sales, ask

for Pic 706-228-5227 (385/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 HYUNDAI SANTA FE, clean, leather, auto, $17,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (454/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 ISUZU RODEO, LS, 4X4, 25K, auto, loaded, $15,999, call Alex@ Acura of Augusta 800-8515158 (428/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 MITSUBISHI MONTERO, Sport, white/gray, loaded w/all power options $14,999, call Roy@ Acura of Augusta 800-851-5158 (425/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 NISSAN PATHFINDER, silver, auto, loaded, leather, Bose, GPS navigation, DVD entertainment system keyless entry, sunroof, 26K, $27,500, 706-231-1009 (278/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 JEEP LIBERTY, V6, auto, 2WD, red, PW, PL, cruise, tilt, $18,995 Gerald Jones Honda 706733-2210 (353/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 TOYOTA HIGHLANDER, V6, 10K, light blue/grey, one owner, beautiful mid size SUV, $26,000 OBO 706-726-3621 (279/905)

Trucks FORD RANGER Super Cab XLT, flareside, auto, AC, all power, well maint., bed cover, stereo CD/cass $9990 Bobby Jones Ford 706738-8000 (405/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1982 FORD F150, new engine 302, needs paint, 4x4, $1500 OBO, 803-640-9561 (480/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1986 CHEVY SILVERADO, V8, auto, cass, runs great, alloy wheels, $3990, Auto Liquidators 706-560-0667 (463/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 FORD F700, 24’ flatbed

continued on page 66

BAD CREDIT! NO PROBLEM! WE FINANCE ON LOT! 1993 Chevy G-20

1999 Nissan Altima GLE

Hiltop Conversion Van, Absolutely Perfect, Low Miles

Sunroof, Leather, Like New!

BOATS

1987 BMW 528E

2000 Pontiac Grand Prix

Auto, Sunroof, Alloys, Sharp!!

Pewter, All the Equipment!!

1999 Ford Ranger XLT

2002 Stingray 220 LX

1998 Honda Civic

1997 Saturn SL1

Quad Cab, V6, A/T, Alloy Wheels, Cassette, Very Clean $10,980

22 ft., Open Bow, V8, CD, Tandem Trailer, Great Family Boat , 3 year Warranty, New, No Tax, Compare at 28,000

$7,990

TRUCKS 1996 Mazda B2300 V6, Cold A/C, Low Miles, Ext. Cab, Like new! $6,990

1986 Chevy Silverado V8, Auto, Cassette, runs great, Alloy Wheels!! $3,990

1977 Chevy Fullsize

$6,990

Big Discounts For Cash!

1998 Pontiac Bonneville SE

2 Door, A/C, Cassette, Sunroof, Sporty!

1992 Mercedes I90 4 Dr., Sunroof, Auto, Very Clean!

$5,990

1996 Toyota Camry 4 dr., Auto, PW, PL, Cassette, Clean! $6,990

1993 VW Passat

1997 Pontiac Bonneville SSE

4 Door, 5-Speed, V6, Cassette, A/C, Clean! $3,990

VANS

1993 Mercedes 190

1997 Dodge Stratus

Only 75K Miles, Immaculate!

$9,990

4 dr, PW, PL, Tilt, Cruise, Auto, Xtra Clean $5,990

Auto, A/C, Cassette, PW, PL, Tilt, C/C, Perfect! $7,990

WE ACCEPT

40th Anniversary, Has It All, Best Seats for a Bad Back $8,888

1997 Infinity I30

1995 Chevy Monte Carlo

Like new, Loaded

Leather Brown & Tan, Sunroof, Low Miles $11,990

Z-34, Auto, A/C, PW, PL

1996 Plymouth Voyager

1999 Mitsubishi Diamante

1988 Ford Crown Victoria

Sunroof, CD player, Alloys, Very Nice $11,990

Great Transportation

$9,990

7 Passenger, Cassette, Sport Wheels, Very Clean $6,780

Automatic, Power Package, Low Miles, VW Certified 2 year, 24,000 mile factory warranty

4 dr, Auto, A/C, Cassette, Extra Clean! $5,990

1999 Chevy Lumina

93 Ford Escort Wagon LX $4,990

Auto, PW, PL, Tilt, Cruise, Clean!!! $6,570

1997 Ford Thunderbird LX

4-Door, 39K actual miles, drives great, cruise, power windows

$6,390

$1,495

AUTO

LIQUIDATORS 1546 Gordon Highway, Aug. (Next to Honky Tonk)

99 VW Jetta GLS $14,340

HOME OF THE 5 MINUTE APPROVAL

560-0667 Your Pre-Owned Bargain Headquarters!

Todd Williams - David Berry - Dennis Smitty Smith FOR EXCEPTIONAL SERVICE AND HUGE SAVINGS

V6, Leather, Roof, Auto, C/D

GERALD JONES SELECT 1775 Gordon Highway (next to Gerald Jones Volvo)

739-0040

BOBBYJONESFORD.COM 3480 Wrightsboro Road at Bobby Jones Expressway

738-8000 • 1-888-733-3351 • www.bobbyjonesford.com FACTORY

AUTHORIZED

A-X-Z

$11,650

$14,995

B8730

✔ CERTIFIED

99 GRAN MARQUIS

$10,850 99 BLACK TAURUS WAGON

✔ CERTIFIED

$14,300 99 MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE

24 VALVE ENGINE PRESIDENTIAL PKG ALL POWER 29K MILES ALLOYS

B8771

$3,400

B8674

✔ CERTIFIED

B8777

02 JINCHA SCOOTER LOW MILES POWER SEATS

$10,380 28176B

99 RED TAURUS

✔ CERTIFIED

THE CSRA'S ONLY FORD QUALITY CHECKED CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED DEALER! LIMITED WARRANTY that provides ✔ POWERTRAIN coverage for six year or up to a total of 75,000 miles

✔ ONLY 16 MILES MUST SEE!

$10,990 99 TAN TOP MERCURY SABLE

B8695

✔ CERTIFIED LEATHER SPOILER MACH AUDIO NEW TIRES

29K MILES ALLOYS

B8675

DEALER

30K MILES LEATHER DUAL POWER SEATS ALLOYS

LEATHER SUNROOF ALLOYS

99 GREEN SABLE -LS

PLAN

$50 WORTH OF FREE GAS WITH YOUR USED CAR PURCHASE WHEN YOU MENTION THIS AD

✔ ✔ ✔ ✔

S P I R I T

5

1998 Chevy Cavalier

Ext. Cab, V6, Cassette, Alloy Wheels, Very Sharp $12,990

M E T R O

S E P T

00 VW Beetle $15,440

$6,490

2001 Ford Ranger Edge

1998 Plymouth Grand Voyager

Leather, Roof, Alloys, Red, Volvo Certified - 72 month, 100,000K warranty

Extra clean, Only 52,000 miles

DOMESTIC

$995

99 Volvo V-70 T-5 $20,340

$10,990

IMPORTS

4x4, Good Hunting Truck

EPUTATION/SERVICE/SELECTION

$6,990

$4,290

$21,900

GREAT R

Xtra Sharp, Loaded!!

$10,990

65

on the odometer, whichever comes first (includes parts and labor) ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE Flat tire change, battery jump starts, towing assistance up to $100, travel expense reimbursement up to $500 for up to three days and destination assistance covers taxi, shuttle or rental car expense up to $75.

115-POINT INSPECTION COMPLIMENTARY FIRST oil and filter change NEW WIPER BLADES FULL FUEL TANK

4.9%

RATES AS LOW AS ON SELECT CERTIFIED FORDS WITH APPROVED CREDIT

✔ denotes certified pre-owned cars

2 0 0 2

continued from page 64

66 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 5 2 0 0 2

THE ULTIMATE SUMMER BIG TENT EVENT AT ACURA OF AUGUSTA AUTO MALL

5.9% FINANCING AVAILABLE!

1999 and new vehicles, with approved credit, customer paid deferral plan.

OR

0

DOWN PAYMENT

1st payment due in 90 days from signing.

OR

0

PAYMENT FOR 90 DAYS

Interest starts occurring day of signing.

1st payment due October 25, 2002.

3 REASONS NOT TO WORRY ABOUT PRECIOUS CREDIT!

DON'T BE CONCERNED ABOUT CURRENT PAYOFF

BANKRUPTCY? 11 lenders that understand!

They have allocated $1 million for this sales event!

When we make a deal, we will pay off your trade, NO MATTER WHAT YOU OWE! You will never receive more money for your trade!

SLOW OR BAD CREDIT? An extra $4 million for credit rebuilders regardless of previous bad or slow credit NO CREDIT APPLICATION WILL BE REFUSED!

1-877-LOWEST RATE

USED CAR ELIMINATION SALE

Your car can be your down payment!

ACURA of Augusta 1760 Gordon Highway (at the beginning of the Motor Mile) www.AcuraofAugusta.com

1-800-851-5158 BRAND NEW LOCATION! NEXT TO KIA OF AUGUSTA

GUARANTEED CLASSIFIEDS

* Items for sale by an individual may be placed in our Guaranteed Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for ten weeks or until the item sells, whichever comes first. You must call by 5PM on Friday every two weeks to renew the ad or The Metropolitan Spirit will assume the item has been sold and will delete the ad. There is a $5 reinstatement fee if you forget to renew your ad. All items must indicate price. Guaranteed classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies. Guaranteed Classified ads do not include any automotive vehicles, real estate or pets.

RATES: FREE ADS Merchandise Under $250 $8 ADS Merchandise $251 to $500 $15 ADS Merchandise $501 to $1000 $20 ADS Merchandise over $1000 20 Words or Less - No Exceptions.

ADS MUST BE PREPAID DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. PAYMENT OPTIONS: (ADS MUST BE PREPAID) Cash-Money Order-Check

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

Name_______________________________________Daytime Phone_____________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Payment ❑ Cash ❑ Check ❑ Money Order ❑ Visa ❑ MC Card No./Exp. Date_____________________________________________________________ Billing Address (if different from above)_____________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published. The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

w/dovetail, 101K, $7800, 803-2795541 or 803-215-2418 (476/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 NISSAN, SB, x-cab, red, 4wd, rebuilt, 5spd, CD, bedliner, toolbox, real cold AC, GC, 803442-7619 (482/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 FORD F-350, dually, 7.3 diesel, auto, AC, PS, PL, 4dr, 38K, $14,500, 803-202-9401 (471/1010) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 MAZDA B2600, auto, tint windows, air, x-cab, burgundy, clean, $4100, 706-597-7075 (443/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 FORD F150, 4X4, LXT, chrome tailgate & brush guard, new motor, loaded with too many extras, XC $11,000 803-502-0923 (272/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 CHEVY SILVERADO, LS, fully loaded, 350 engine, dark green, very sharp, $15,995, Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (352/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 DODGE DAKOTA, V6, auto, AC, alloys $7200, Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (396/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 CHEVY SILVERADO, x-cab, 4dr, 5.7, 350, pewter silver, fully loaded, one owner, $14,995, Gerald Jones Honda 706-7332210 (356/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 DODGE DAKOTA, Sport, 4X4, V8, ext-cab, chrome tool box, premium sound, power everything, red, Budget Car Sales, ask for Pic 706-228-5227 (386/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD 150, Lariat, leather int., PW, PS, low miles $21,900 Budget Car Sales, ask for Carla

706-228-5227 (387/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 DODGE RAM, 1500 King cab, magnum, V8 $16,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (447/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 GMC 1500, SLT, leather, heated seats, loaded, drop hitch, CD, step side, king cab, pewter, 23K, $22,990, Budget Car Sales, ask for Tim 706-228-5227 (388/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 MAZDA B2500, SE, shortbed, black/grey, 4cyl, auto, AC, CD, 20K, $12,000 neg. 803-2798960 (431/103) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 MAZDA B4000, V-6, mint condition, CD, 31K, garage kept, new tires, warranty, loaded, kelly blue book $17,000 asking $13,995 706-855-9044 (91/919) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 TOYOTA TACOMA, SST, metallic green, 15K, auto, bedliner, bedrails, alloys, RWL tires, AC, window shields, $12,500 706-8687287 (278/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 MAZDA B3000, xt-cab, 5spd, low miles, factory warranty, $14,990, Andy Jones Mazda 803279-9143 (450/905)

Vans FORD HIGH TOP, LTD, leather, TV, garage kept, must see, $19490, Budget Car Sales, ask for Tim 706228-5227 (389/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1985 FORD HI-TOP conversion van, 351 w 100K, trans, 12K, CD, color TV, good tires, new ft brakes, AC compressor 5yrs old, $1300 neg. 706-793-4440 (281/905) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

1991 FORD AEROSTAR cargo XLT, 96K, new 134 air, auto, cruise, PS, PB, cage, $3100 706-7384270 (282/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 MERCURY VILLAGER, LS, auto, AC, V6, 7 passenger, XC, $7500, #P8742A, Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (402/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA ODYSSEY, EX, loaded, 1 owner, $17,999, call Kyle@ Acura of Augusta 800-8515158 (421/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA ODYSSEY, EX, $19,990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (332/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MERCURY VILLAGER Estate, leather, captains chairs, the package $15,233, Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (395/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 PLYMOUTH VOYAGER, LE, loaded, low miles, bright red $9995, Gerald Jones Honda 706733-2210 (351/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 PLYMOUTH VOYAGER, runs great, one owner, $8895, Gerald Jones Honda 706-7332210 (358/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 FORD E350, 15 pass van, 43K, loaded, dual AC, $15,999 call Roger@ Acura of Augusta 800851-5158 (420/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 OLDSMOBILE SILHOUETTE, local trade in, all power equipment, AC, nearly new condition, $11,900, #26565A, Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (408/905) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 OLDSMOBILE SILHOUETTE, Premiere, $18,990, Honda Cars of Aiken 800-207-5771 (323/905)

FREE AUTO CLASSIFIEDS

* Automobiles for sale by an individual may be placed in our FREE Auto Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for six weeks or until the vehicle sells, whichever comes first. After two weeks, if you want to keep running the same ad, you must call The Metropolitan Spirit by 5 p.m. on Friday or we will assume you sold the vehicle and will delete the ad. All vehicles must indicate price. FREE Auto Classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies or dealers.

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE.

GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published.

The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

Name_________________________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone_________________________________________________________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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