Metro Spirit 09.15.2011 by Metro Spirit

METRO Augusta’s Independent Voice Since 1989

VOLUME 22 NO. 55 SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

TABLE of CONTENTS

Beautiful Skin Begins Here! whine line - TOM TOMORROW - INSIDER metro - NYTIMES CROSSWORD are you not entertained - CALENDAR - NEWS OF THE WEIRD arts in the heart guide the8 - SIGHTINGS - ART45 - JENNY IS WRIGHT - FREE WILL ASTROLOGY slab - EDGE OF ADVENTURE - EARDRUM - THE DOWNLOAD - CUISINE SCENE - MATT’S MUSIC - BALL - ADVICE GODDESS - AUSTIN RHODES

04 04 06 08 12 16 17 20 23 35 38 39 40 40 41 45 46 47 48 50 52 53 54

Complimentary Complexion Analysis

LIMITED TIME ONLY

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 AmyChristian|production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher-sales manager joe@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter| account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

EricJohnson|writer eric@themetrospirit.com

JedCapuy|account executive jed@themetrospirit.com

JenniferPoole|publisher’s assisstant jennifer@themetrospirit.com

LigéHaab|account executive lige@themetrospirit.com

JordanWhite|design intern

MichaelJohnson|sightings

COVER DESIGN | GABRIELVEGA

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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902 Ponder Place Court | Evans | 706.922.3376 Dr. Florentino is a Board-Certified Dermatologist from Detroit, Michigan. She is fluent in Spanish, has four children and one Labrador Retriever named Leo. METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

WHINELINE This is to the little perv lurking at the bottom of the stairs in the mall trying to take upskirt pictures: You better hope one of those geriatric mall cops gets you before I do; otherwise you’re gonna find out if your phone’s camera operates in the suppository mode!

singers to augusta!!!The people will pay to see good shows that has been proven.Newer good acts, like when we had alicia keys, that sold out in a few hours!!!!Now she is too big for us.Saw Kevin Hart he was great.bring in the newer talent and we wil come.

Greg ReckonImtheLaw needs to be taken off his holy perch. He thinks he’s better than everyone and passes judgmental proclamations from his three bedroom courtroom.

won’t watct channel 6 any more,matt monroe was a great guy!!!!!

Oooh rook, ArtZira! ArtZira! me thinks the augusta commissioners should ask chief willis how come he purchased a 125,000.00 brush truck from a particular mfg (no bid by the way) when there are several mfg that build the same truck for less then 75,000 that will do the same job. may not look as pretty,but if you want a fire put out don’t care how pretty truck is just put out fire What’s that smelly smell that I smell smell that smells so smelly? Maybe before you go bashing one of our local artists, you should do your research. First, it was a Dali inspired creation. Second - at least learn how to spell the artist’s name correctly before ranting about him. what the hell is wrong with people. there was nothing wrong with the scott hudson snippet in the insider. the man CAME OUT ON FACEBOOK. he is a public person. HE CAME OUT ON FACEBOOK. and then he whines that the insider hurt his feelings by speculating what it means for him now in his career? the man CAME OUT ON FACEBOOK. keep up the great work. please, please lets have some good comedians and some more up to date

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

Could your paper please print more listings of hot spots for lesbians in the Augusta area? I am a 28 year old black lesbian who just recently moved to the area and I am having a hard time finding the lesbian community here. Hey metro Spirit, you all were completely right about that ACAVE group. I used to be a member but soon realized it’s nothing but a bunch of talkers blowing hot air. All they do is sit around in their underwear typing on their computers thinking they are “fighting the power”. Get real. people need to look at who’s behind that group, namely Jill Peterson, who previously worked for The Spirit but got canned. It’s all just a big ego trip for someone who holds personal grudges. Anyone who is duped into thinking ACAVE is some real movement affecting change, well then they probably do live in a cave. Good riddance Cave losers. So what’s Brad Owens’ next failure going to be? Hopefully not another lame bar downtown. So Austin spends a week or more whining about the guy at 6 getting canned with no severance package. Then he admits that the contract had expired. He was not fired or let go. He was simply not hired this time. Had he been hired, I’m pretty sure Austin would have spent as much time saying that

One Funny Dude

We love us a good fake news website, but, being the extreme lefties we are, we’re troubled by the monopoly The Onion has on the market. That’s why we love The Borowitz Report (borowitzreport.com), a site that offers stories with headlines such as “Rabid Dog Briefly Mistaken for Tea Party Candidate” and “Democrats Accept Major Cuts to Their Balls.” With stories purporting that Texas Governor Rick Perry scares North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il, who advises the presidential candidate to tone down the rhetoric, what’s not to love from author, comedian and satirist Andy Borowitz?

WERECOMMEND Matt should give the station a couple of months free labor in recognition of the great service that they had given him over the years. Or maybe not.

beasly broadcasting has made it clear that they do not want to make money in Augusta. Well it looks like aCAVE has imploded! From 255 members to just 26 is one day. But then it’s not a surprise that people started to get fed up with a bunch of whiners who do nothing but live on Facebook. Plus when you

know Brad Owens and Jill Peterson are behind something it is bound for an epic fail eventually. The speeding on Bertram Rd is out of control. It is not a raceway. You do not need to floor it when you pull out of your street to get to the light 1/4 of a mile away. aCAVE has turned out to be a chihuaha: annoying, but all bark and no bite. With no organization and no action beyond whining on facebook their little “movement” was destined to go nowhere.

up THUMBS

Last week, a one-ton croc was found in the Philippines; over the weekend, an 800-pound gator was found in the Ogeechee. We should get those two together and let the Syfy channel film it.

down THUMBS

What took you so long, Ben & Jerry? And what about Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls?

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WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Seems like Mr. Rhodes is not only a closet lefty, he actually really does want the government to levy more taxes. He’s probably just too chicken to say only on people outside of his elevated tax-braket. For the Jail Report Editor: If you are putting out your paper as a SERVICE to the community than why do you charge $1 for it? You could easily put out your crappy paper just from the support of your advertisers (like the Spirit has been doing for over 20 years). So sir, you indeed are making a profit off of others misfortunes and this makes you a bigger scumbag than most of the people you feature. This is a friendly word of advice for people looking to start a local political movement: Do not appoint a pot head as your leader. Your cause will go no where. There is a reason why the hippy movement petered out. They would always forget to show up at the polls to vote because they were so baked out of their minds most of the time. I THINK ITS TIME TO BUILD MORE PRISONS. ALL YOU NEED IS 3 WALLS AND BARS.. DONT

WORRY ABOUT PLUMBING OR AIRCONDITIONING NOR A KITCHEN.. SAVE ON STAFF BY KEEPING THEM IN THERE CELLS ALL DAY.. EXCEPT TO HOSE THEM DOWN. A REAL DETERANT!! Augusta Radio DJ’s Suck! They think they’re the “Stars”! Look! I want to hears Songs & Music! Not Your Incessant Babbling! I’ve turned my Radio Dial to No Avail! There are Plenty of Spots on that Radio Dial! We should be able to hear a Variety of Music, Talk etc. What Gives?

To the Editor:

Thank you for Eric Johnson’s balanced article on mugshot papers in last week’s paper. Unfortunately, most readers will probably only remember the shorter slam piece on me from the anonymous Insider columnist. To say that Hustler magazine serves a more journalistic purpose than my crimefighting publication is pretty low and bizarre, even coming from a publication competing with me for advertisers and readership. Before I started The Jail Report, I met with Sheriff Ronnie Strength and other law enforcement to seek their input and explain my goal. With the exception of the Edgefield County Sheriff’s Office, all local agencies have worked closely with us in a win-win relationship. In our three years of operation, we have helped catch hundreds of wanted suspects. We have informed the community of dozens of repeat offenders. And we have alerted readers to those people formally accused of crimes. Yes, we charge $1. We don’t have influx of advertisers that the Metro Spirit has to cover printing and delivery, so we make it up through a flat charge. Yet your faceless columnist accuses me of stumbling upon a “seedy meal ticket.” If greed were my only motivation, I would have accepted any of the weekly offers of cash to keep mugshots out of our paper. I don’t. I sleep well at night knowing I am doing my part to fight back against brazen criminals, drunk drivers, sex offenders, deadbeat parents and thieves. And our readers support our mission. Finally, I believe your readers should know that Metro Spirit Publisher Joe White wanted me to write a crime column for this paper. I didn’t work it out. Perhaps the slam piece was his way of telling me I didn’t sign up fast enough. Greg Rickabaugh, publisher The Jail Report

LETTER2EDITOR

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M 5

INSIDER

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Where Have You Gone, Brad Owens? Augusta turns its lonely eyes to its missing aCAVEman

The Insider first got wind that something was up with the grumpy folks of A.C.A.V.E. on the afternoon of Sept. 8, when an administrator of the Facebook page leaked word that the group was imploding. Word was, Lori Davis had canceled a group meeting scheduled for that Saturday, which meant the already fractured group was splitting down the middle, with the Facebook faction content to continue its cyber protests while Davis, who you might remember actually stepped into the light and ran for mayor, was chomping at the bit to actually do something again. Glory days, seasons in the sun… it’s easy to miss what you no longer seem to have, though some might argue if A.C.A.V.E. ever really had either. That argument, of course, would take place on Facebook, the preferred reality of seemingly everyone left in the group. Sometime in the night of Sept. 8, A.C.A.V.E. was disabled. At 9:29 a.m. on Sept. 9, ACAVE was born. (note

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

the subtle difference… punctuation is everything). For the first few hours (it was a Friday morning) it was like watching people stumbling around after an earthquake. “I’m here!” some said. “Where am I?” others asked. It’s tough to know definitively what happened to the A.C.A.V.E. site, and there are plenty of explanations and allegations swirling around, but it seems pretty clear that the Facebook crew, led by Jill Peterson, disabled the original site and then decided to create the world in her image. A.C.A.V.E. was very much a Brad Owens invention, and his presence is conspicuously absent in ACAVE. “Where’s Brad?” people would ask upon arriving in this new land. “Something’s not right here.” As the day went on, more and more people returned, all a little dazed and all a little proud to have somehow made the cut, whoever’s world they might have made it to.

According to the source that tipped off the event, Lori Davis and several of the other key members of the original group had been dissatisfied with the group’s direction for a long time, especially the fact that more and more members were forgoing commission meetings for typing in their caves. And it’s not like Davis and her faction didn’t have plans. There were ideas about raising money and buying ads against the ballpark, but of course nothing happened. There was a plan to support Mike Deas and the Miller Theatre project in order to keep Deke from diverting the SPLOST money for the ballpark, but nothing happened there, either. So too with the blog. The T-shirts. The bumper stickers. If you can’t agree on bumper stickers, your group really is pretty lame. Apparently Peterson faced some discouragements of her own along the way. She was particularly disheartened that the firemen got nowhere in their beef against the fire chief last week. If a

room full of firemen can’t affect change, why not just get on Facebook and “drive the news?” As of Sept. 13, ACAVE had 91 members, which raises the question — just how far can you drive the news with 91 members? Of those 91 members, many are the usual suspects. The poet. The malcontent. The other malcontent. A few, however, make you wonder. Like reporter Scott Hudson. How did he get there? More to the point, how did he get made an administrator? Even Hudson doesn’t seem to know. “Hey, everyone,” he wrote. “I see that I have been made an administrator of this group. I am just wondering what that means. I am new to the whole Facebook thing, so do I have some sort of responsibility?” Even though Brad Owens is laying low and his dream of a cavepac political action committee seems dashed, people continue to look for guidance in their missing leader.

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Lawyers Call Kent “White Supremacist” Retraction toned down, but still critical For a revised press release, it wasn’t bad: “This Press Release retracts the reference to Mr. Kent as a ‘White Supremacist.’” The Mr. Kent in question, of course, was Phil Kent, and the reference to him as a White Supremacist came in a press release calling for Gov. Deal to replace Kent as a member of the Immigration Enforcement Review Board. “Governor Nathan Deal’s appointment of Phil Kent, the Executive Director of American Immigration Control Foundation — identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a ‘hate group’

— to Georgia’s new Immigration Enforcement Review Board is a step in the wrong direction, and the American Immigration Lawyers Association’s Chapter covering Georgia and Alabama strongly opposes the appointment,” the press release read. Even after removing the reference to Kent as an “unabashedly bigoted White Supremacist,” the press release’s second paragraph is still sufficiently critical. “Mr. Kent’s disqualification for this position is not his restrictionist views on immigration — although his views

are sadly misplaced — nor even his Directorship of a hate group. Instead, Mr. Kent’s disqualification arises from his own words that mark him as unabashedly bigoted. Mr. Kent openly has called for using immigration laws to maintain the ‘whiteness’ of America; he has lamented advertising that reflects the reality of America’s multiculturalism; and he even has asserted that ‘American authenticity’ can be found only where whites feel comfortable in their white identity.” As if that weren’t enough, the release later chides Deal for making such an

obviously inappropriate appointment, especially at a time when the state should be attracting international businesses (which presumably won’t take kindly to such narrow-minded thinking). It also points out that none of Deal’s appointees to the new board “reflect Georgia’s rich diversity of race and ethnicity.” “Governor Deal promptly should replace Mr. Kent with a person of higher integrity and more balanced views…” the release continued. Funny, but it seems like that’s what we used to say when he was around here.

commissioners by running for mayor. The list of problems — and commissioners with them — goes on and on. But the fact of the matter is, these are all bright men, each elected to his position with a unique skill set. Some are good with numbers. Some are watchdogs of the bottom line. Some are looking out for the underdogs. Ten men, some at the end of distinguished careers of service, some in the middle of their high-earning years, some just figuring things out. They’ve got so much of the important stuff covered, but what they’re lacking is a collective political intelligence. The salesmanship they lack is holding the city back. A growing number of people across the CSRA are frustrated. Angry. Baffled and embarrassed by what they see as government inaction. And because of that, the conversation is always about the commissioners’ arrogance and stupidity and hard-headedness. This is why we have the conspiracy theories that we do. When it comes down to it, anyone

who gets elected can spend their time complaining and moaning and obstructing. But it takes a special skill — and a genuine desire to move this city forward — to actually govern. So here’s what we ask, naive as it might sound. We challenge the commission to spend time with each other, not as politicians, but as men. Go to lunch one on one. Visit a business. Get a cup of coffee. And talk. Sure, it will be awkward at first, but you weren’t elected to take the easy way. The thing about getting to know each other is it gives you something to build on politically. That association, that friendship, doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. If you don’t know, truly know, what your fellow commissioner is after, you can’t help him get it. And helping him get what he wants helps you get what you want, too. Is all this too touchy-feely for Augusta? Maybe. But what could it hurt? What we’re doing isn’t exactly working out all that great, is it?

September Challenge Guys... can’t you all just hug it out? Thankfully, we’re finally coming out of the dog days of summer, but to many it seems like the Augusta Commission is destined to be stuck in the dog days for some time. The testiness and the frustration show no sign of letting up. Just look at the mayor. If ever there was a reliable barometer, it’s him, but even he’s looking tired these days. Not just tired, but tired of it all. Done. Even the ceremonial stuff seems like a burden to him these days. And during the recent Fred Russell saga he seemed to throw up his hands, not so much out of frustration, but out of helplessness. Boys will be boys. The commission will be the commission. But if we really think about it, this isn’t exactly unusual. This particular kind of gridlock is pretty much standard operating procedure for a southern city of this size. We’ve got commissioners looking after their constituents, which is what all commissioners are supposed to do. It’s just that the constituents are in such dramatically different places. Those who represent areas of poverty

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are looking after different things than those who represent the more affluent. No surprise there. And nothing wrong, either. When it comes down to it, so much of what is considered racial is so often just a question of economics. The haves look at things different than the have-nots. They have different concerns. Different priorities. The biggest problem facing the commission right now is that there aren’t enough politicians. Politicians will work together because they know that working together will give them more than a stalemate, no matter how the votes tally up. They realize that to be effective themselves, they need to know about the others. Not in an exchanging pleasantries kind of way, but in a really know each other kind of way. Right now, that’s not happening. And it wasn’t happening long before the latest debacle. Bill Lockett no longer speaks to Joe Bowles. Or Matt Aitken, for that matter. Jerry Brigham and Bill Lockett snipe at each other across the dais. Alvin Mason appears to be alienating all his fellow

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

METRONEWS

Country Music and Corn

Steed’s Dairy hopes to capitalize on hometown favorites

“When you’re doing detailed work like somebody’s trademark, you want the letters to be exactly the way they’re supposed to be.” Hoping to capitalize on the success of last year’s corn maze, Jim Steed (pictured above) decided he had to think big. And given the popularity of hometown favorites Lady Antebellum, he couldn’t think much bigger. “We wanted to capitalize on their popularity, but we weren’t quite sure if we could,” Steed says. “But I knew when Lady A came to town the last time there was a lot of publicity.” When you’ve turned the family farm into an agritourism destination, publicity is golden, so he got in touch with Daniel Miller, Lady Antebellum’s manager, and being a farmer, he planted the idea of the Lady Antebellum Corn Maize. The idea grew and soon Miller gave him permission to do the maze, so Steed got in touch with Lois Hardy, a corn maze designer out of Utah, and the two started working on the design. When he sent the basic design to Miller, the manager was impressed. “All of a sudden he just flooded me

with emails about wanting to do this big national thing,” Steed says. While cutting designs in corn is nerveracking enough, Steed says cutting a bestselling band’s logo in corn is truly terrifying, which is why Hardy wanted to go over the design again and again. “She went back over it with a fine tooth comb, and in the meantime my corn’s growing and my surveyors are waiting on her to get through with it,” he says. The corn maze process is actually pretty straightforward. Basically, when the designer finishes the design, she sends a photo of it to the surveyor, who plots it out, either on a grid or by GPS. Steed went the more expensive GPS route because of its increased accuracy. That accuracy comes in the form of points — over a thousand points — and those points become flags with numbers on them and then the whole operation becomes a high stakes game of connect the dots.

Given the pressure he felt — Miller told him the maze would initially appear on the band’s Facebook paper, which has over five million fans — Steed used a handheld swing blade to cut the corn, stalk by stalk. Corn may grow two inches every day, but once it’s cut down, it’s cut down. “I stayed out there every night until dark just making sure I got everything right,” he says. “When you’re doing detailed work like somebody’s trademark, you want the letters to be exactly the way they’re supposed to be.” Once the design was cut and the corn was left to grow, the anticipation started to grow, too. Steed became more and more worried about what it was going to look like, and when he chartered a plane last week to get preliminary photos to send to Miller, he could hardly make himself look out the window. “It was hard,” he says. “When I finally looked down, though, I had to be reminded to take the pictures.”

The timing of it seems almost too good to be true. The band’s new album, “Own the Night,” was released Sept. 13, while the park, with its corn maze, its new zip line and all the usual outdoor fun, opens Sept. 16. Obviously, the entertainment industry is known as much for its broken dreams as it is for its dreams come true, but you don’t have to be a cynical music exec to recognize the value of a downhome tribute in a hometown already happily lavishing tributes. Lady Antebellum will be playing the concert dedicating the amphitheater named in their honor on Oct. 28, and Steed will be raffling off eight tickets — a pair each weekend leading up to the concert. What other exposure the maze gets — and who else might visit it — remains to be seen.

uncomfortable with the groups, which are independent entities, engaging the river system’s top brass in Savannah. Besides being commission chair, Cross is also chair of the Savannah/ Upper Ogeechee Water Planning Council, which means he’s had his share of dealings with the corps. In fact, he brought a copy of a PowerPoint presentation he had received from the corps and seemed anxious to share its findings. “They are a very qualified group and

they’re very proficient at what they do, and once you see this presentation, I think you take a little different view of the actions they take and what they have to do within the limitations of the law,” Cross said. The presentation gives a full scope of the water stream from Hartwell through Russell and Clarks Hill lakes, as well as the continuing flow needs felt all the way down the Savannah River. Vice Chair Ron Thigpen made it clear that he, too, wanted to make a

Rough Waters

Proposed trip to Savannah not endorsed by commission An upcoming trip planned by Columbia County’s Development Authority, Convention and Visitor’s Bureau and Chamber of Commerce to meet with the Corps of Engineers and the Port Authority in Savannah will not have the endorsement of the Columbia County Board of Commissioners. “While I appreciate and recognize the role of these groups in trying to bring economic development to Columbia County, I’m also very sensitive to the relationship we have with the Corps of

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

Engineers and the fact that the corps has been very cooperative in our water council meetings,” Commission Chairman Ron Cross said. “It would be my recommendation that we not endorse this at this time, and I would like to see these groups watch one of the three presentations we had by the corps during our work with the water council as to their limitations and the things that govern their decisions.” Apparently fearing a misstep by the delegation, Cross seemed generally

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ERICJOHNSON

distinction between the group and the county. “I also think that no matter how well-intentioned these groups are, they are actually not authorized to speak on behalf of the county with regards to dealings with the corps,” he said. According to CVB Executive Director Beda Johnson, the plan was to introduce themselves to the district manager of the Savannah Office of the Corps of Engineers and find out what the corps’ long-term plans were for the lake. “The one thing I told them to get the appointment is that we were not there to talk about water levels,” Johnson said about the trip last month. She did go on to say that they intended to further their mission of making the lake more user friendly, which might have been part of the reason Cross was unenthusiastic about the trip. He said he wasn’t confident that the group truly understood the strict limitations governing the corps. “They don’t have the discretion everyone thinks they’ve got,” he said. “They’re not just up there draining the lake. They’re draining the lake because you’ve got to have something down

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“I also think that no matter how well-intentioned these groups are, they are actually not authorized to speak on behalf of the county…”

below the lake and you don’t have enough rainfall.” The limited scope of their job, he said, prevents their involvement in a lot of the issues people want them involved with. “They told us very point-blank that it’s bad, but they’re not concerned about somebody’s dock being on dry land and they’re not concerned about

the economic development around the lake,” he said. “They’re concerned with flood control, hydropower generation and downstream water quality.” Fundamentally, Cross also seemed bothered by the trip’s direction. “The problem is, the people they’re going to talk to are not the people who are in charge of things day to day,”

he said. “I think they’d be better off working with the group in Thurmond or Hartwell than going down and trying to go over the heads of the people who are working with it every day. I think they would have been better served to come to me and say, ‘Arrange something for us to do with the corps.’”

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

Day Late. Maybe a Dollar Short.

Committee okays Patch in Augusta contract over Johnson’s opposition Maybe it was because of the way he tried to change his vote a couple of months ago, but Public Services Committee Chairman Corey Johnson had a hard time drumming up support for his opposition to the lease agreement that would have the Patch in Augusta LLC run the Municipal Golf Course. In a vote to work up a contract for the Municipal Golf Course in July, Johnson initially voted for the Patch in Augusta, then said he intended to vote for Affiniti Golf Partners, an action that drew criticism from other members of the commission, who indirectly chastised him for not being prepared, and from members of the public who speculated that the turnaround had nefarious undertones. In the deal that was before the committee, the Patch in Augusta will pay the city an annual lease payment of $12,000 for seven years with an option to renew for eight additional years. The Patch in Augusta also agrees to make a one-time payment of $80,000 for mowing equipment.

“Did we do any valuation to see what the average golf course of that magnitude is leased for?”

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Johnson initially questioned the amount of the lease, then followed up when he learned the amount of the lease was determined by the Patch in Augusta. “How do you come up with the number being fair?” he asked. “Did we do any valuation to see what the average golf course of that magnitude is leased for?” Recreation Director Tom Beck said his research showed that some applicable leases ran higher, while other municipalities actually paid a subsidy for course operations. The contract has no language specifically limiting fees the company could charge other than generally requiring them to remain affordable to the public. The public course’s affordability has always been seen as an asset even though it has long operated in the red. Commissioners Mason and Lockett,

who are not members of the committee, raised questions about the utilities, which eventually segued into outrage over the reduced water rate Forrest Hills Golf Course has been paying for its water. That issue would be fully covered later in the meeting, when it was uncovered that Forrest Hills paid a flat rate of $143 a month for water, while the six-hole First Tee course, a nonprofit enterprise, paid up to $30,000 a year for the same service. In terms of the lease agreement, Commissioner Wayne Guilfoyle tried to put the contract’s meager earnings in perspective by offsetting it against the $150,000 in savings the city would enjoy by no longer operating the course, but Johnson was having none of it. “At the end of the day, I think we look at the revenue we’re bringing in and we need to maximize it,” he said. “I’m not saying take advantage, but at

least maximize it. That’s a huge parcel of property.” Saying things needed to be more black and white, he said he couldn’t support the agreement. “I know it’s not going to be a perfect document, but I at least want to make sure that we have some provisions in there that protect the citizens that patronize that golf course so they continue to feel comfortable,” he said. “If it’s going to be privatized, I don’t want it to seem privatized. I don’t want people to go there and feel as if they’re at Forrest Hills or another golf course. Nothing against those golf courses, but they’re run differently.” Joe Bowles, however, seemed to be looking primarily at the bottom line. “The way I look at it, we have three options. We can either continue to lose $150,000 a year, possibly pay somebody $70,000 to possibly lose us $150,000 or

we can make $12,000 a year,” he said. The motion to approve the contract with the Patch in Augusta passed with only Johnson voting against it. It now moves on to the full commission.

in providing a selective spotlight? In fact, though it would be wrong to imply otherwise, is it believable to think that a majority of these papers don’t have a pretty lucrative side business going?

Okay, it would definitely be wrong to make that assumption, but if that’s where we go when we hear stuff like that, how is that any different than where we go when we look at a mug shot?

Arresting Questions Story stirs debate, raises questions Last week’s story on local mug shot papers, “What’s a Picture Really Worth,” seemed to hit a nerve within the community, particularly Arrest Book Owner/Publisher Darnik McAlpin’s admission that he’ll remove your mug shot for payment. Here’s the exact, full quote: “As far as people paying for the removal — in certain situations that’s happened and here’s my take: if you’re going to go out and do a crime, which is stupid enough to me because you know the law and you are going to be willing to pay to keep yourself from being embarrassed, I think it’s even more of a crime to not take your money and give it to charity and stuff like that.” Later, McAlpin phrased the same idea just a little differently. “If you’re going to be stupid enough to do the crime and you’re going to be stupid enough to pay to keep from being embarrassed, that’s money that could be going for a good cause.” So the money goes to charity, he was asked. “A percentage of it definitely goes to charity.” A percentage? It must cost him quite a bit to get someone to reshuffle the mug shots around to fill in the holes. Though the Arrest Book’s Facebook readers didn’t pay much attention to the story — or that revelation — the Jail Report’s Facebook page invited people to comment on the story, which they did. Strangely enough, a good number were critical of the Jail Report for many

V. 22 | NO. 56

of the reasons the story pointed out — a perception (though certainly unstated) of guilt, the exploitation of misfortune. That’s not implying that all the comments were against the Jail Report. There were plenty of people willing to shower the paper with accolades — everything from the idea that the Metro Spirit is just jealous to the whole if you do the crime you should be willing to do the time argument. You don’t normally see lines drawn this sharply outside of Congress. While undeniably popular, mug shot papers keep a relatively low profile, subjecting themselves to as little outside attention as possible. Few submit to interviews and most insulate themselves from inquiry by providing as little information about themselves as possible. Portland’s pdxmugshots.com, however, has apparently broken the mold by, like the Arrest Book, coming out and admitting it takes money for removing photos. According to an article in Willamette Week, the website charges $39 to have the mug shots removed from the site and the evidence of it ever being there wiped from Google searches. That story says that one of the site’s operators gave a radio interview where he talked about being inundated with requests to remove the pictures. It was only then, he said, that he realized its revenue potential. Is it believable that it would take that long to realize there’s money to be made

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 11

THAT’S DISGUSTING!

By Dana Delany and Matt Ginsberg / Edited by Will Shortz

DOWN 1 Ticked off 2 Beer served without artificial carbonation 3 Vacation spot that’s crazily busy? 4 Round storehouse

12 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

5 Cousin of Inc. 6 “Ick!” 7 Tennis’s Ivanovic 8 Cabbies’ clients 9 End of July by the sound? 10 Pelvis-related 11 Somewhat informal? 12 Grade school subj. 13 Pointer’s words 14 Start of all Oklahoma ZIP codes 15 Tumbler 16 Architectural space 17 Regular price 18 Set for a detective, maybe 21 “Eek!” e.g. 23 Yearn (for) 27 Suffix with problem 30 Watch from the sidelines 31 Río makeup 32 Kind of pad 33 Certain triple-decker 39 U.K. decoration: Abbr. 41 Bitter, in a way 42 “Ghosts” playwright 43 What Bryn Mawr College is not 44 N.Y.C. subway inits. 45 Skyscraping 46 Wows 48 Married couple? 51 Prank involving a hammer and nails? 52 1986 film shot partly in a decommissioned power plant 53 Mint on a hotel pillow, e.g. 54 Good for something 55 What karats measure 56 Reversed 57 Columbia athletes 58 Bread on the table, maybe 59 “___ that a lot” 62 Salsa singer Celia 63 U.S. visa type issued to visiting diplomats 64 Labyrinthine 66 Complete: Prefix 68 Gradual increase in vol. 71 Row 72 Strip 73 Yes, to no: Abbr. 76 Woman’s support 78 Bother 80 Word derived from the Latin “uncia,” meaning “one-twelfth” 81 Baked ___ 82 Uncle Sam, for one 84 “Hmmm …” 85 Quick 86 Followers: Suffix 87 French vote 89 Nail polish, e.g. 90 Collisions 91 Sticky roll? 92 “C’est si bon!” 93 Put in one’s two cents’ worth 96 Like custard 99 “This has got me fuming!” 100 Die out 101 Creamy shades 102 Dashes may be part of them 103 Speak to the masses 104 Betray 109 Capital near the 60th parallel 111 No. typically between 2.0 and 4.0 112 Omaha Beach craft, for short 113 One of these days 114 Kind of jacket

39 47

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A R R O B O I S C A P R R E I C A B S B O T A U S A G T H R A C I C O H N A M A S P A R T T N T L R E S O O R I N D O D G M I L E A C E S N A S T

W R E O I B G N O H E T H I N I C E S H T I B M A S R Y I N R O E I T T N A T G E P S P E C A S L

C H E F

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ACROSS 1 Word with liberal or visual 5 Foliose 13 Hero of a John Irving best seller 19 Beverage whose logo was once the bottom half of a woman’s legs 20 Actress who co-starred in “Havana,” 1990 21 Protect 22 Heads-up in Ireland? 24 Danish cheese 25 “Gerontion” poet 26 “Yikes!” 27 Australia’s Great ___ Basin 28 Dorm police, for short 29 Superman’s attire, e.g.? 34 Head of London? 35 Venezuela’s Chávez 36 Security interest 37 Metric liquid meas. 38 Achievement 40 Farm pails? 47 City raided in “Godzilla Raids Again” 49 Cloud producer, informally 50 ___ Highway (route from Dawson Creek) 54 Willing to do 56 Fluid 57 Boxer on Season 4 of “Dancing With the Stars” 60 Aggregate 61 Like items at a supermarket checkout 64 “I feel the earth move under my feet,” e.g.? 65 Q.E.D. part 67 Paris’s Musée ___ 68 Benjamin 69 W.W. I German admiral 70 Fancy garb for Caesar? 72 Characterized by 74 Suffix with absorb 75 Exploited 76 Sugar providers 77 Flower also known as love-in-idleness 79 French school 80 “___ my case!” 81 “Button your lip!” 83 Antisthenes, notably? 88 Veronese masterpiece “The Feast in the House of ___” 91 ___ Canals 94 Birthplace of the Rep. Party 95 First tribe met by Lewis and Clark 97 Hard butter 98 Something talked about on “Today”? 105 Surrealist who avoided the draft by writing the day’s date in every space on his induction paperwork 106 Victuals 107 Michael of “Juno” 108 “Who ya ___ call?” 110 Unnatural 111 Extremely occult? 115 Happy 116 Set sail 117 Tick off 118 Deeper blue? 119 O.K. 120 “The War Is Over” writer/singer

R T O K O R B U R E R R I M O T I

D E A L G U S I E N K O A N K G O O O O G G I F I L D L E O R E C U O M A R K I R G A L R E Y E D

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S P C E A L A L P O R I S L E N M I T I A N S C I G K M O M E N A R Y I S A B L M A M M A A N A N S E C A L F E T E O N G R D I G S T E

P O L L O I

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V. 22 | NO. 56

Crime Blotter

Responds to voice commands, they will On the Southside

Subject shows up with a shotgun and states to the complainant he was there to, “clean up the neighborhood, don’t call the cops.” The subject and complainant then sat on the couch in the front yard and talked for a few minutes before he got up and walked away. Cops were called and the subject advised them “nothing happened but me being me.” Report states he was heavily intoxicated. The complainant went on a rampage in her apartment and damaged a lot of her belonging for unknown reasons. This resulted in her husband’s brother and his brother’s girlfriend to come in the residence and assault her with closed fists before holding her down and pouring bleach all over her. She had to be transported to the hospital but was uncooperative when it came time to press charges. The subject keeps calling the complainant’s house from an anonymous number stating that she is going to “shoot up her house” and to make sure “the children are not there” when she does it (how thoughtful of her). A black male was observed riding down the road on a riding lawn mower. The officer thought this looked suspicious (no kidding) and stopped to find out what was going on. Turns out, he did have permission to ride the mower to another house to cut the lawn. Someone broke into a vehicle in the Augusta Mall parking lot. They got away with $4 in cash.

In Hephzibah

What began as a physical fight between a juvenile and her aunt resulted in Granny ending it with a right hook to the aunt’s jaw. Oh yeah, Granny’s still got it. Someone broke into a Navy officer’s home and spraypainted gang symbols on the walls. It also appeared that someone had peed on the bathroom floor. The officer is stationed in Florida so exact amount of damage is unknown at this time. The complainant stated that five or six black males dressed in all black with masks and gloves entered her home and held her at gunpoint while beating her boyfriend with a baseball bat asking for “the money.” She finally told them it was in the suitcase in their bedroom and the men retrieved it and left. Surely this isn’t drug related.

On the Eastside

Someone has taken three cases of okra, one case of fries, one case of southern sandwiches and $10 in change from a Church’s Chicken. Only question is why in the hell did they leave the best thing, the chicken? Subject points a gun at the complainant after a verbal altercation and lets him know “That’s how it is.” Victim was walking back to his school’s campus when a vehicle carrying three black males pulled up beside him. One of the men yelled to him, “hey bro” and then the men begin to get out of the vehicle. The victim began to run when he said they must have fired five rounds at him. The victim ended up getting hit up side the head with a 2x4 trying to break up a fight. Guessing he won’t attempt to do any good deeds anymore.

Someone used the complainant’s card (that he thought was deactivated) at a number of locations including Tipsey’s, Helga’s, Lowe’s and Home Depot (got to get those home improvements in), O’Charley’s, McDonald’s and four separate trips to Kroger. At Budget Inn, the complainant left his car doors unlocked with the keys in the ignition while he went out of town with some friends. When he came back, his vehicle was gone and had in fact been abandoned after being involved in a hit and run.

The Hill

Someone got away with stealing the bronze statue that sits out front of the Shoes at Surrey in Surrey Center. Value of statue: $5,000. Value of security footage of the incident: Priceless. Someone stole her purse out of her vehicle while she was swimming at the Augusta Aquatics Center.

Evanez

The Perry, S.C., chief of police and his Aiken County deputy girlfriend got into a very loud altercation while staying in a cabin at the lake with some friends. He was highly intoxicated and wanted to contact everyone from Sheriff Hunt to the local media. She wanted him to calm down and go to bed. On the second trip officers had to make out there they found him drenched in water that he claimed she must have dumped on him. She denied it; he was escorted to the station where his sister picked him up. No charges were filed. Someone had such a need for toilet tissue that they stole 30 big packs of Cottonelle off of a truck parked at the Pilot. The subject brought in his own booze (empty bottle found later) to Monterrey’s and ended up being asked to leave because he fell asleep at the table. The subject got in the driver’s seat of his vehicle. When advised by officers not to drive (he blew a .220), he agreed to take a cab. An hour later, though, after the officers had left the scene, he was on the roads behind the wheel. The victim was in her yard watering her flowers when she heard the bushes whispering her name. Turns out it was just her drunk neighbor who wanted to straighten some unresolved issues out. She asked him to leave and he flipped her the bird. She wants him to stay off her property. Someone went to the trouble to break in to the victim’s room at the Motel 6 just to take her RedBox movie. Must have been some movie. The complainant was approached by the subject’s dogs while walking her own. The dogs are usually aggressive towards her so she called the police. When questioning the subject, he stated he didn’t need to have his dogs on leashes because they were highly trained in voice commands (like little Jedi knights). Animal Control was called.

On the Westside

Three unknown black males carjacked the victim when he met them at Target to buy some cell phones from them. His car was later recovered at in front of an apartment building on Skinner Mill Road. The victims went to Best Buy to have their laptop serviced and decided to stop at Logan’s to get a bite to eat. Someone decided to break their window and steal their newly serviced laptop. Their meal was interrupted by a server who announced the car break-in on the PA system.

Downtown

Someone decided that working in the parking booth on 10th Street wasn’t paying the bills and stole $146. Too bad no cameras are present to see who the culprit actually was. While the complainant was in Soul Bar, someone broke out her car window and stole her purse, wallet, phone, GPS, iPod, one Express Credit Card, and five (yes, five) different debit cards. V. 22 | NO. 56

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 13

Epic Journey

GREGBAKER

University in the process of upgrading records to benefit both patients and doctors

to? The truth is, medical personnel often have no idea. “Often, when patients arrive in the emergency room, we have no way of obtaining their chart in a timely manner,” said Dr. Shannon Stinson, vice president and chief medical informatics officer for University Health Care. “If Dr. Shannon Stinson the patient is alone and unconscious or unable to provide When an unconscious patient is a history, we have no way of knowing wheeled into an emergency room, how what their medical history is, whether is the doctor on duty supposed to know they have any allergies, or if they’re what medications that person might taking any medications.” be taking or what he might be allergic

14 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

That will soon change, at least at University, where Stinson is leading the implementation effort of the electronic health records (EHR) developed by Epic Systems. Late last year, University Health Care announced a $35 million project to replace their current medical information software with Epic’s EHR package, and the five-year project began ramping up earlier this year. Physician practices are expected to transition to the new system in late 2011 or early 2012. Hospital operations will transition during the summer of 2012. The change in University’s recordkeeping system was prompted by federal regulations. The 2009 ARRA-HITECH Act in particular provides $19.2 billion to increase the adoption rate of EHRs and provides incentive payments to, among others, hospitals that demonstrate

“meaningful use” of EHR systems. Eligible providers could receive up to $63,750 per provider over a six-year period. A $2 million base payment is a pretty good incentive indeed. But to benefit financially, University will have to prove to the feds that they use the EHR systems meaningfully. And while that is certainly a consideration, Stinson said University wanted to make sure that the new system benefits both patients and medical personnel. The Epic System, she said, definitely does that. “Epic is built off a single platform. Everything is integrated, and that was very important for us,” she explained. “Looking at meaningful use, you want to put your investment in the system that provides the easiest platform for your providers to use while also allowing them to seamlessly deliver quality patient care. V. 22 | NO. 56

We have a significant investment in our current system, but when we did the analysis with all things considered, for us, Epic came out on top.” How does Epic’s system benefit doctors? Stinson said the current hospital-based system does not integrate outside lab results or any information obtained by a patient’s primary doctor as a structured part of the current EHR. In addition, for physicians practicing outside the hospital walls, imaging is not available as an integrated part of the record. “Once Epic is live, it will allow any provider on Epic to easily view any information entered by another provider on University’s Epic platform including a patient’s past medical history, medications, procedures, labs and imaging results directly in a single, integrated patient chart,” she said. “Physicians will also be able to order tests from the hospital lab or other outside labs directly from the system. Results will be delivered electronically directly into the patient’s chart.” That means doctors will no longer have to search through multiple sources and different forms of documentation in order to read and interpret a patient’s medical information. Medical records for all patients treated by University physicians will be available. Emergency

room visits and hospital stays will also be documented directly in the patient’s health record and communicated back to the patient’s primary care physician for follow-up, greatly improving communication between the primary care physician, the emergency room and University Hospital. Patients will directly benefit from the transition to Epic through its online patient portal, which will give them access their medical history over the internet. Specific content is managed by the physician practices, but patients should be able to view such items as patient demographics, allergies, current medications and summary of care documents. Patients may also, at their physician’s discretion, be able to use the portal to request prescription refills, schedule appointments and complete intake paperwork prior to doctor visits. Imagine that: Never having to arrive at a new doctor’s office half an hour before an appointment to fill out forms! Notification of health record updates will also be possible. “When lab results are posted, the patient will receive an email saying that new information is available on the portal,” Stinson said. “They can login and review the results of the lab immediately, and not have to wait for a

call from the doctor’s office.” Stinson said they’ll make sure records are secure by locating the disaster recovery system off hospital grounds. That way, the system will continue to be fully operational, even if there were significant damage to the hospital data center. The implementation team considered a read-only disaster recovery alternative, but in the end decided on a read-write strategy. “In an emergency, if I don’t have the ability to enter data into the system, it’s going to slow me down,” she explained. “In a disaster situation, that will add to the chaos. Having the stability of using Epic during a disaster situation in a similar fashion as we would for day-today operations will have a tremendous calming effect on those providing patient care in these often stressful situations.” Of course, Epic contains a number of other surprises. “Epic has a bunch of capabilities that make you think, ‘That’s amazing! Who thought of that?’” said Stinson. For example, Health Information Exchange (HIE) is built into the system. Health records for other Epic sites or other certified systems can be retrieved and uploaded into the local system. Dashboards provide real-time snapshots of clinical performance measures. Measures of productivity, charges,

patient volume and many others are possible and can be aggregated by physician, group or specialty. All in all, Stinson says the new system should prove beneficial to both doctors and patients. “Epic is going to be a phenomenal platform for our physicians and clinicians to provide excellent, high quality, safe and effective patient care. Each physician practices a little bit differently, and the system provides the flexibility to adapt to different styles,” she said. “We believe that University Health Care patients will be more satisfied with the delivery of health care when their physicians begin using Epic, and they will love the ability to participate in their health care experience by accessing their health information at any time and from anywhere.” Physicians interested in implementing Epic in their practice should contact Dr. Stinson at 706774-7716 or email at sstinson@uh.org.

*most insurances accepted

Phillip Harris Dr. Steve Hovet Dr. Yan Wu O

V. 22 | NO. 56

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 15

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

MARTYSTUART

R.U.N.E

Guitar Great The man whose hair is more fabulous than his backing band really must love Augusta. Rarely does a year go by when Marty Stuart doesn’t visit, even braving Broad Street on St. Patrick’s Day one year before a show. That’s no reason to skip his Friday, September 16, show at the Imperial that is part of the Morris Museum of Art’s Southern Soul and Song series, however. Stuart and His Fabulous Superlatives always put on a great show, and it’s no wonder why: From Johnny Cash to Doc Watson, he’s learned from some of the best. They apparently taught him quite a bit.

Marty Stuart and His Fabulous Superlatives The Imperial Theatre | Friday, September 16 7:30 p.m. | $13-$24 | 706.722.8341

imperialtheatre.com 16 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

V. 22 | NO. 56

ENTERTAINMENT 8991 or visit artistsrowaugusta.com. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

Paintings by Judy Adamick and Anne Rauton Smith will be on exhibit at Inner Bean Cafe, 139 Davis Road, September 15-October 25. An opening reception will be held September 15 between 7-9 p.m. Call 706-364-3752. Down South: Paintings by Art Rosenbaum, Photographs by Margo Newmark Rosenbaum opens at the Morris Museum of Art Thursday, September 22, from 5:30-8 p.m. and features artwork by the 2011 Westobou Festival signature artist Art Rosenbaum and his wife, Margo Newmark Rosenbaum. The event includes heavy hors d’oeuvres, a 6 p.m. concert featuring the Skillet Lickers, and fun art projects. Free for museum members; nonmembers, $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Barbara Yon Art Exhibit will stay open everyday through the end of the month at the Hitchcock Heath Center in Aiken. Call 803-648-8344 or visit hitchcockhealthcare.org.

The St. Petersburg String Quarter graces the stage at the Grover C. Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre to open the 2011-2011 concert season of the Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society. The concert by the Grammy nominated quartet is Friday, September 16, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $25 at the box office, $7 for students with ID, free for ASU students and faculty and $90 for season tickets, which include six concerts between now and next April. For more information, call 706-790-9274 or visit hjcms.org.

Arts

706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Sunday Sketch at the Morris Museum of Art is Sunday, September 18, from 2-3:30 p.m. Sketch in the galleries. Materials provided by Morris. Free. Call

Artists Row is now accepting recycled materials to build ARTie, a 72-foot-dragon designed by Sarah Mays, their 2011 student art scholarship winner. The group needs plastic soda and water bottles, plastic grocery bags and leftover cans of spray paint, which can be delivered to Artistic Perceptions, Gallery on the Row, Oddfellows Gallery, the Book Tavern and Zimmerman Gallery. They also need volunteers to help build the sculpture September 29-October 5, with construction shifts available 10 a.m.-1 p.m., 2-5 p.m. and 6-9 p.m. Call 706-826-

Adult Artist Workshop: House Portraits in Color will be held from noon-4:30 p.m. Saturday, September 17, at the Morris Museum of Art. Painter Randy Lambeth will demonstrate various techniques to paint structures. All materials included. $100, members; $115, non-members. Paid registration is required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

V. 22 | NO. 56

Judy Gillespie and Ginny Griffin Art Exhibition shows at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center through October 28. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Expect the Unexpected, an exhibit of ceramic art by members of the Clay Artists of the Southeast (CASE), including Pricilla Hollingsworth and Ann Baker, shows through October 29 at the Arts and Heritage Center in North Augusta. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. The Art of Millinery will be showcased through the month of October at the Center for Arts and Heritage in North Augusta. Millinery is the art of making hats and fascinators, and this exhibit showcases the works of local milliner Elizabeth Tudor. Call 803-4414380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. AikenArtistGuildGallerySeries: Leslie Hutto. Throughout the month

of September, Leslie Hutto’s work will be displayed on the first floor of the center. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. No Nature, No Art, an exhibition by William Willis, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Civil War Redux: Pinhole Photographs by Willie Anne Wright shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Philip Juras: The Southern Frontier, landscapes inspired by Bartram’s travels, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Music

Southern Soul and Song: Marty Stuart and His Fabulous Superlatives returns to the Imperial Theatre on Friday, September 16, at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre. com. St. Petersburg String Quartet will play at the Grover C. Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre as part of the Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Series on Friday, September 16, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $25 at the box office, $7 for students with valid ID, free for ASU students and faculty and $90 for season tickets to all six events. Call 706-7909274 or visit hjcms.org. Music at the Morris: Angela Renee Simpson will be held Sunday September 18 beginning at 2 p.m. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Concerts with a Cause: Hector Olivera, concert organist, will take place on Sunday, September 18, at 3 p.m. at St. John United Methodist Church. Call 706-724-9641 or visit stjohnaugusta.org.

Literary

Brown Bag Book Club discusses “Mao’s Last Dancer” by Li Cunxin on Thursday, September 15, at 10:30 a.m. in the Columbia County Library Meeting Room. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Harlem Book Club discusses “Dewey” by Vicki Myron on Thursday, September 15, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Friends of Augusta Library Book Sale will be held on Saturday, September METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 17

17, from 10 a.m.- 1 p.m. at the Appleby Branch on Walton Way. Gently used books will be sold. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Coffee Club meets at the Euchee Creek Library on Monday, September 19 at 10 a.m. Open to all ages. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Monday Night Book Club discusses “Shanghai Girls” by Lisa See on Monday, September 19, at 6:30 p.m. in the Columbia County Library Meeting Room. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Lisa Patton will hold a reading and signing of her new book, “Yankee Doodle Dixie,” on Monday, September 19, at 7 p.m. at the Barnes & Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit barnesandnoble.com. NOOK Tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a NOOKcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Theater

Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre: How to Marry a Millionaire will be on Friday-Saturday, September 1617, at 7 p.m. at Newberry Hall in Aiken. $50. Call 803-649-2221 or visit downtownaiken.com. “The 39 Steps,” a Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre production, shows September 16, 17, 22-24, with dinner starting at 7 p.m. and the show beginning at 8 p.m. $25-$40. Call 706793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com. “Chicago: The Musical,” a production of the Aiken Community Playhouse set in the roaring ’20s, shows September 16, 17, 23 and 24 at 8 p.m., and September 18 and 24 at 3 p.m. Visit acp1011.com/shows/chi.php.

Dance

Friday Dance is every Friday night from 8:30-11 p.m. at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. $10. Call 706854-8888 or visit thebdc.us. Christian Singles Dance, for ages 18 and over, is every Saturday night at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans from 7-11 p.m. $8-$10. Call 706-8548888 or visit thebdc.us.

Flix

“To Kill a Mockingbird” shows Thursday, September 15, at USCAiken’s Humanities and Social Sciences Building, Room 116, at 7:30

18 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

p.m. as part of the university’s 50th anniversary film series. The series will highlight a movie from each of the five decades of USC-A’s existence. USC-A Professor of History Maggie Morehouse will lead a discussion after the film. Visit usca.edu. Movie Marathon Saturday at the Headquarters Branch Library presents “Shaft” and “Super Fly” on Saturday, September 17, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Refreshments will be available. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Screen on the Green at the Columbia County Amphitheatre will be on Saturday, September 17. Showing will be “Furry Vengeance” (PG) starting at 7 p.m. $1 per person; children under 3 are free. Bring blankets and chairs; concessions will be sold on site. Visit columbiacountyga.gov. Tuesday Movies Presents “Everything Must Go” on Tuesday, September 20, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Tuesday Movies Presents “The Conspirator” on Tuesday, September 20, at 7 p.m. at the Aiken Library. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Special Events

Wreath Laying at Grave of William Few, in honor of his birthday, will be held on Thursday, September 15, at 10:30 a.m. at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church on Reynolds Street. Visit saintpauls.org. Inshop Wine Tasting will be on Thursday, September 15, from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World. $5, with a $3 rebate upon purchase of featured wines. Call 803279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Consignment Sale at Trinity on the Hill will take place on Friday, September 16, from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. and Saturday, September 17, from 8 a.m.2 p.m. Saturday’s sale will feature 50 percent off selected items. Call 706-7388822, ext. 50, or visit trinityonthehill.net. The 31st Annual Arts in the Heart Festival will take place in downtown Augusta Friday, September 16, from 5-9 p.m.; Saturday, September 17, from 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; and Sunday, September 18, from noon-7 p.m. $5, advance; $7, gate. Visit artsintheheart. com. Wines of Loire Valley, a seminar tasting led by Harry Root, will be held on Friday, September 16, at 7 p.m. at Wine

World. $15, with reservation; $20 at the door, if space is available. Call 803-2799522 or visit wineworldsc.com. KISS Family Reunion Talent Festival is Saturday, September 17, at 10 a.m. at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds and includes performances from The Dramatics featuring LJ Reynolds, Johnny Gill from New Edition, Musiq Soulchild, Tyrese Gibson, Theotis Ealy, Mel Waiters, Klass Band and more. $12. Call 803-396-6000 or visit power107.com. JustForJoyWomen’sConference will be held Friday, September 16, at 7 p.m. and Saturday, September 17, at 10 a.m. at Open Arms Community Church on Windsor Spring Road. Visit openarmscommunitychurch.net. 2011 Rely Local Business Expo will be held on Saturday, September 17, from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Meet the local businesses in this area. There will also be fun for the kids. A celebrity dunk booth will be there to help raise money for local charities. Call 706-922-5626. Augusta Dance Challenge and Showcase, hosted by the Ballroom Dance Center, is Saturday, September 17. Registration and practice begins at 11 a.m.; competition and lunch are at noon; and dinner, dance party and show is at 7 p.m. Call 706-854-8888 or visit augustaballroom.com. The Art of Cupcakes with Molly Meek will be held on Saturday, September 17, at 2 p.m. at the Gallery on the Row. Call 706-724-4959 or visit galleryontherow.com. A Taste of Aiken will be held on Tuesday, September 20, at 5:30 p.m. in downtown Aiken. Sample the finest restaurants in historic downtown. Call 803-649-2221 or visit downtownaiken. com. No TV Night! at Barnes & Nobles will be on Thursday September 22 at 6 p.m. Turn off your TV for a fun-filled event complete with songs, stories and games. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit barnesandnoble.com. Perfectly Aged: Antiques and Wine, Historic Augusta’s benefit auction, will be held at Saint Paul’s River Room on Thursday, September 22. Wine Tasting, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres will begin at 6:30 p.m.; silent auction begins at 8 p.m. Tickets are $50 (for 35 and under) or $100 each. Call 706-724-0436 or visit historicaugusta.org.

Augusta Area Newcomers Club will host a luncheon on Thursday, September 15, at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Guest speaker Molly McDowell will talk about the Westobou Festival. AANC helps new residents to the Augusta area to familiarize themselves with the community, make friends, participate in numerous activities, and get involved with charitable organizations. Email Debbi at wolfarth2@comcast.net. WeeklyWineTastingsatVineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Saturday Market at the River, located at 8th Street Plaza, downtown Augusta, is each Saturday through October 29, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health

Car Seat Safety Class is Thursday, September 15, at 5:45 p.m. at the MCGHealth Building to teach proper selection, use and installation of car seats. Safe Kids East Central also provides car or booster seats to families who meet financial need guidelines when available for a $10 fee. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit mcghealth.org. Breastfeeding Class will be held on Thursday, September 15, at 6:30 p.m. in Ste. 310 in the Medical Office Building One on the Doctor’s Hospital campus. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. University Hospital will hold a Breastfeeding Class at Babies R Us on Thursday, September 15, at 7 p.m. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Childbirth Preparation Course held by Aiken Regional will begin on Tuesday, September 20, from 6-9 p.m. in the ARMC building sixth floor, Classrooms A and B. This four-week class is designed to help expectant mothers prepare for childbirth. Open only to patients of ARMC only. Preregistration required. $25. Call 800-3228322 or visit aikenregional.com. Ready and Able (Session 2) will be held on Tuesday, September 20, at 7 p.m. in Ste 310 in the Medical Office Building One on the Doctor’s Hospital campus. This is a three-session class recommended for late pregnancy. Intended to be taken with Showing and Glowing. Open to the public. PreV. 22 | NO. 56

registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Breastfeeding Class will be held on Tuesday, September 20, at 7 p.m. in 7 West-Room 7001 of the Georgia Health Sciences Medical Center. Free. Call 706721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.edu. AngioScreen will be held on Wednesday, September 21, from 7:30 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Evans Occupational Health Clinic. This is a simple, noninvasive vascular screening designed to provide information about heart rhythm, neck and leg arteries, blood pressure, and body mass index. $75. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343. Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Heart and Vascular Institute will host a class on Coronary Artery Disease, Heart Attack and CHF on Wednesday, September 21, at 8:25 a.m., 9:25 a.m., and 1:55 p.m. Free. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. MCGHealth will host a Basic Life Support class on Thursday, September 22, at 1 p.m. in BT-1809 on the first floor of the Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Medical Center. $50. Pre-registration required. Email BLS@mcg.edu. University Hospital will host an Introduction to Infant CPR class on Thursday, September 22, at 7 p.m. in the University Hospital Lobby. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. MCGHealth will host a Weight Loss Seminar on Thursday, September 22, at 7 p.m. at the Georgia Health Sciences Alumni Center. Free; preregistration required. Call 706-721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.edu. Free HIV/AIDS Testing will be given all month long in various locations in the CSRA. Call 706-721-4463 or visit csrasafetynet.org for a list of locations and dates. Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor Information Desk (West Entrance) of MCGHealth. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Fresh Start Smoking Cessation Class will be held every Thursday in September at 6 p.m. in the University Hospital Cafeteria. Sponsored by the American Cancer Society, University Hospital instructors will help participants give up all forms of tobacco. Open to the public. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-8900 or visit universityhealth.org. V. 22 | NO. 56

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 19

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Richard Handl, 31, was arrested in southern Sweden in July after a raid on his home. He had been trying for months to set up a nuclear reactor in his kitchen, but became alarmed when a brew of americium, tritium and beryllium created a nuclear meltdown on his stove. Only then, he said, did it occur to him to ask the country’s Radiation Authority if what he was doing was legal, and the subsequent police raid answered that question. No dangerous radiation level was detected, but Handl still faces fines and a maximum two-year prison sentence for unauthorized possession of nuclear materials.

The Entrepreneurial Society

The fashion designer Chandrashekar Chawan recently created goldplated, diamond-studded contact lenses that make eyes “sparkle” (not always a good thing, admitted Chawan, citing reviews calling the look “cringeworthy” and “demonic”). According to an MSNBC report, the “bling” part never actually touches the cornea. Among the trendiest avant-garde beauty treatments are facial applications made from snail mucus, according to a July report by London’s Daily Mail. South Korean glamour consultants were the first to use mollusk extract’s generous moisturizing properties, though a dermatologist warned (on NBC’s “Today” show) that no “controlled” studies have yet demonstrated snail-goo superiority.

Leading Economic Indicators

The highest-paid state government employee in budget-strapped California in 2010 was among the least productive workers in the system, according to a Los Angeles Times investigation reported in July. Jeffrey Rohlfing is on the payroll as a surgeon in the state prison system (base pay: $235,740), but he has been barred from treating inmates for the last six years because supervisors believe him to be incompetent. Last year, Dr. Rohlfing earned an additional $541,000 in back pay after he successfully appealed his firing to the state’s apparently easily persuaded Personnel Board. Currently, Dr. Rohlfing is assigned records-keeping duties.

No, Thanks!

Colorado inmate Daniel Self filed a federal lawsuit in July against the Sterling Correctional Facility because prison personnel saved his life. They revived him after he had stopped breathing from an attack of sleep apnea, but he contends he had previously demanded to officials that he never be resuscitated, preferring to die rather serve out his life sentence. Terry Barth complained to hospital officials that he was “kidnapped” by paramedics and thus cannot be liable for the $40,000 he has been billed by Enloe Medical Center in Chico, Calif., where he was brought by ambulance following a motorcycle crash in August 2010. Barth said he had insisted at the scene that paramedics not take him to a hospital because he had no medical insurance. (Paramedics are legally required to take anyone with a serious head injury.)

Medical Marvels

British college student Rhiannon Brooksbank-Jones, 19, recently had her tongue surgically lengthened just so she could better pronounce the Korean letter “L.” London’s Daily Mail reported in August that the student had become fascinated with Korean culture and intends to live and work in South Korea eventually — and would need to speak like a native to succeed. She is now satisfied that she does.

Our Animal Sidekicks

Ruth Adams called on Northampton College in central England to measure the purring sound of her gray-and-white tabby cat, Smokey, aiming for a Guinness World Record. The result, she told The Associated Press in March, was 73 decibels, many multiples louder than the average cat’s purr and about as noisy, according to the AP, as “busy traffic, a hair dryer or a vacuum cleaner.” (According to catologists, Smokey’s purring could reflect either extreme happiness or extreme stress.)

20 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

Volunteers needed at Georgia Health Sciences University and Health System in both the adult program, open to those 18 and older, and the afterschool program, open to high school juniors and seniors at least 17 years of age. To request a volunteer application, call 706-721-3596 or visit georgiahealth.org/ volunteer. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class, sponsored by the CSRA Parkinson Support Group and The Family Y, is a group class designed specifically for ambulatory participants affected by Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease. Held each Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y indoor pool. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Joint Efforts, an informational class about knee and hip pain causes and treatments sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday at 11 a.m. at Augusta Orthopaedic Clinic. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Support

Skip to My Lupus! will meet Thursday, September 15, at 7 p.m. at Aiken Regional’s Dining Room A. Open to the public. Call 803-251-9413 or visit aikenregional.com. Healing Arts Class: Crochet 101 will meet on Saturday, September 17, from 1-3 p.m. in the Georgia Health Sciences Children’s Medical Center Resource Library. The goal is to redirect one’s pain and thoughts into an activity that allows them to reduce stress. Learn the basics to crochet. A hat will be made during the class. $5 to participate. Preregistration required. Call 706-513-7301 or visit georgiahealth.edu. Look Good!-Feel Better! will meet on Monday, September 19, at 1 p.m. at the Cancer Care Institute of Carolina on the Aiken Regional campus. The class is open to women actively undergoing cancer treatment or those who are about to start treatment. Each participant will receive a complimentary box of makeup and a wig of her choice. Preregistration required. Call 803-641-6044. Essential Tremors Support Group will meet Monday, September 19, at 2 p.m. at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church. Open to the public. Call 803-226-0338. Cancer Support Group will meet on Wednesday, September 21, at 3 p.m. in the First Baptist Church Parlor in Aiken. Open to the public. Call Chaplain Cole at 803-641-5389.

Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. in the Lori Rogers Nursing Library, on the second floor of the JMS Building on the Doctors Hospital campus. All burn survivors and their families and friends are invited to attend. Call Tom Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Families Who Have Lost a Baby During Pregnancy, Childbirth or Early Infancy Support Group is ongoing. For information and support following a pregnancy loss, call Sue Ellen Abney at 706-721-8299 or visit mcghealth.org. Moms Connection meets every Tuesday from 1-2 p.m. at 1225 Walton Way (the old Fairway Ford dealership), room 1010C. Preregistration required. Call 706-7219351 or visit mcghealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery Support Group meets each Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. in Suite 110 of Medical Office Building 2, 3624 J. Dewey Gray Circle, on the Doctors Hospital campus. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Education

NASA Basics of Rocketry Workshop will be held on Saturday, September 17, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at RPSEC at USC Aiken. Open to all teachers, this hands-on workshop will show how to implement making rockets into the classroom. Pre-registration required. Free. Call 803-641-3313 or visit usca.edu. The Aiken County Historical Museum will feature Civil War Speakers Series on Tuesdays for four lectures. $5 per person per lecture. Call 803-6422015 or visit aikencountysc.gov. Preserving History: Behind the Scenes at the Augusta Museum of History, a tour of the collection preparation area and the processing laboratory with Registrar Amanda Klaus, is each Saturday in September at either 1 or 2 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. The one-hour tour is limited to 15 people on a first-come first-served basis and is free with museum admission. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. GED Classes are held every Monday and Tuesday night at 6 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. No pre-registration is required, but participants must have a valid PINES library card. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

V. 22 | NO. 56

ESL Classes are held every Wednesday night at 6 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 803-279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org. Saturday Historic Trolley Tour, every Saturday, begins at the Museum of History and tours historic downtown Augusta from 1-3:15 p.m. Reservations required. All seats are $12. 706-724-4067.

Benefits

SCTNow 5K Run/Walk will take place on Saturday, September 17, at 8 a.m. at the Jessye Norman Amphitheater on the Riverwalk. Visit events.sctnow.org/augusta. Community Enabling Grant Applications are now available at the Junior League of Augusta’s website. Grants are available to nonprofits in the area who apply by 5 p.m. on the September 2 deadline. Visit jlaugusta.org. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

Sports-Outdoors

The GHSU Section of Urology will host its First Annual Golf Tournament for Prostate Cancer Awareness on Saturday, September 17, at the River Club Golf Course. Registration is $100 per player. First hole in one wins a car. Call 706-7212519 or visit georgiahealth.edu. Battle of the CSRA, the Panther Cheer Classic, is Saturday, September 17, at 1 p.m. at Lakeside High School and includes local teams competing for division and grand champion titles. $7; children 5 and under admitted free. Visit lhspanthers.com. The Soul City Sirens will challenge Rogue from Fayetteville, N.C., on Sunday, September 18, at Red Wing Rollerway. Bout begins 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $10; $15 at the door. Kids 12 and under receive free admission. Visit soulcitysirens.com. The Aiken Chamber will hold its 23rd Annual Industry Appreciation Golf Tournament on Monday, September 19, at Houndslake Country Club. The 18-hole golf tournament will begin with registration at 11 a.m. and a shotgun start at 12:30 p.m. The V. 22 | NO. 56

cost is $425 per foursome, $250 per twosome, and $125 per individual. For more information or to make reservations, contact Heath Taylor at 803-649-1200 x 223 or htaylor@ aikenchamber.com. The Augusta Diving Club is currently training any high school students who want to dive for their high school’s swimming and diving team. No experience is necessary. The season starts in mid-October and runs through mid-February for those qualifying for State. All practices are at the Augusta Aquatics Center. Call Coach Jim Tingen 706-726-6805 or email jtingen@knology.net. Fight for Freedom Boot Camp is going on September 3-October 1 at Greubel’s MMA. Sponsored by FAST (Freedom Fighting Athletes Against Slave Trafficking), this program includes kickboxing, jiu jitsu, circuit training, yoga and weekend boot camp classes for participants who will pay $150, 100 percent of the proceeds of which will go to a charity to help combat Southeast Asia’s sex trafficking industry. Call Leesa Gray at 706-2844831, email indigohands@gmail.com or visit greubelsmma.com. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come first-served basis. The ride, which begins at two, is a twohour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first come, first served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-7914864 or visit fortgordon.com. Augusta Rugby Football Club meets every Wednesday from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch, 100 Wood Street. New players are welcome. Email arj6402@yahoo.com. Group Run begins each Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at Nacho Mama’s. Three- and four-mile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Call 706-414-4059 or email jim@ enduranceconcepts.com.

Hockey Skills & Drills is every Thursday from 6-8 p.m. at Augusta Ice Sports Center. $10-$15. Call 706-863-0061 or visit augustaicesports.com. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-2158181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-7246777 or visit andyjordans.com. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@ wrh.org. Registration for Couch to 5K continues throughout the month of September at the Wilson Family Y. This program is designed for beginner and intermediate runners and walkers to prepare for the Y’s Gasping Gobbler 5K on November 19. A six-week session is offered October 11-November 17 at 10 a.m. or 7 p.m. Participants will be guided through a workout twice a week and one on their own. Cost is $15 per session for Family Y members and $25 per session for non-members. Register at any Family Y location or online at thefamilyy.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours

lasting one hour are offered daily at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday Sunset Cruises, lasting three hours, are at 5 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids

Stop Motion Animation Workshop will be held on Thursday, September 15, from 4-6:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Learn the basics of making a stop-motion video. Open to ages 12 to 18. Free. Call Tracy at 706-447-7674 or visit ecgrl.org. Curiosity Day will be held on Thursday, September 15, at 4 p.m. at the North Augusta Library. Listen to a Curious George Story, make a craft and have a snack. For all ages. Free. Call 803279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Special Story Time Presents All Around the Campfire on Monday, September 19, at 6 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Wear pajamas and bring a blanket. For children through second grade. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Tuesdays Special StoriesMarshmallow Madness will be held on Tuesday, September 20, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Purse Class will be held on Wednesday, September 21, at 1 p.m. and Thursday, September 22, at 4 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Learn how to make a purse out of an old book. Open to ages 8-11. Need old hardback book, fabric and ribbon to participate. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Big Brother/Big Sister will be held on Thursday, September 22, at 6 p.m. in Ste. 310 of Medical Office Building One on Doctor’s Hospital campus. Class offers fun, educational,

AM580 95.1FM THE WEATHER AM580 95.1FM AM580 95.1FM AM580 95.1FM AM580 95.1FM AM580 95.1FM

GUY

STEVE SMITH

STAFF METEROLOGIST

METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 21

interactive activities so your children will be prepared to welcome the new baby. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctorshospital.net.

Monday and Wednesday from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

“Mission to Mars” shows Saturdays in September at USC-Aiken’s DuPont Planetarium at 7 and 8 p.m. Tickets are $4.50 for adults, $3.50 for seniors, $2.50 for 4K-12th grade students, and $1 for USC-A students, faculty and staff. Reservations are not required. Call 803-641-3654 or visit usca. edu/rpsec/planetarium.

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m. and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Toddler Story Time and Preschool Story Time take place every Thursday in September at 10:30 a.m. and at 11:15 a.m. at the North Augusta Library. Toddler story time is for children under 3. Pre-school story time for children 3 to 6 years old. Free. Call 803279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time in Hopelands will take place every Tuesday through the end of October at 4 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. AdaptedWiiSpecialPopulations, throughout the month of September, is at the Wilson Family Y. Individual ½-hour classes (one-to-one ratio) for all physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Specially trained staff uses the Wii interactive computer games to improve participants’ independence and quality of life. $10 for members; $20 for non-members. Financial assistance is available for all Family Y programs. By appointment only. Call Claudia Collins at 706-9229662 or visit thefamilyy.org. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.

DECLASSIFIED

Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-7370012 or visit bn.com. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

Hobbies

CSRA Writers will meet on Monday, September 19, at 6:30 p.m. at the Martinez campus of Georgia Military College. Writers needing a support group are invited to attend and bring 10 copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. Call 706-836-7315. Wii for Seniors will be held on Tuesday, September 20, at 10:30 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters will meet on Tuesday, September 20, at noon at The Cotton Patch. Visit toastmasters.org. Augusta Civil War Round Table will meet on Tuesday, September 20, at 6 p.m. at TBonz on Washington Road. Call 706-832-5326. Genealogy at the Augusta Public Library will hold a class on Researching Your Civil War Ancestors on Thursday, September 22, at 2 p.m. Open to the public. Pre-registration required. Call 706-826-1511.

22 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org. Augusta Genealogical Society meets every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday at 9 a.m. and Sundays from 2-5 p.m. at the society’s Adamson Library, 1109 Broad St. Free. Call 706-722-4073. Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters Meeting, for those who want to brush up on their public speaking skills, is every Wednesday at noon at the Cotton Patch

Stand Up Paddleboard Excursions

Host a Bridal Shower Wine Party! For the bride who doesn't need a toaster.

Call for details:706.829.7505 AUGUSTAWINETASTINGS.COM

(actual size) 1.5” x 1.9” Tall $40 per week

Minnesota Fattz hosts the KISS Family Reunion Talent Festival on Saturday, September 17, at 10 a.m. at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds. The event includes performances from The Dramatics featuring LJ Reynolds, Johnny Gill from New Edition, Musiq Soulchild, Tyrese Gibson, Theotis Ealy, Mel Waiters, Klass Band and more. Tickets are $12. Call 803-396-6000 or visit power107.com.

Canal |River | Lake 706.833.9463 Weekday evenings are SUPer cool! Whitecap SUP

downtown. Free. Call 803-593-6605. French Club meets each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Borders. Free. Call 706-737-6962.

Volunteer

Afterschool Mentors and Tutors are needed Mondays-Fridays from 4-6 p.m. at MACH Academy, where they will provide help to students both one-on-one and in small group settings. Call 706796-5046 or visit machacademy.com. Kayakers needed for water safety at the Ironman 70.3 on Sunday, September 25. To volunteer, call 706722-8326 or visit ironmanaugusta.com/ volunteer/.

YARD SALE

105 Shelby Court 30906 Ladies dress pants & jeans size 14 ($2/ ea) and dress shoes size 9 ($3/ ea or 4/$10) - LOTS to choose from and in EXC! Ab Lounger ($25), Mineral Makeup ($1/ea), Antique Courting Chair ($200), Wicker Chair ($2), Couch ($20), Coffee & End Table ($15/set), Space Bag full of toys ($8), Lamp ($5), Toy Box full of small toys ($10) and Misc. Items 105 Shelby Ct. 30906 8 am - 2 pm, No early birds, please.

GRANDMA’S MOVING SALE- 9/16-9/17 Start at 8 a.m. both days 2306 MARTIN RD, AUGUSTA Dishes, Yard Tools, Christmas, Turkey Fryer, Canopy, Old Records, LOTS OF STUFF; DOWNSIZING

All declassified ads are Cash in Advance (credit card payment required) and are $40 per week. Visit metrospirit.com to place your ad in minutes. V. 22 | NO. 56

METRO Augusta’s Independent Voice Since 1989

VOLUME 22 NO. 55 SEPTEMBER 15, 2011 ARTS in the HEART

ARTS - MUSIC - FITNESS - AQUATICS CLASSES STARTING NOW

Today! Register Music Classes: Brass, Piano, Drum, Guitar & Voice Art Classes: Ballroom Dance, Pottery, Painting, Drawing, Acting, Drama & More Fitness Classes: Les Mills Classes, Zumba & More Aquatics Classes:

Classes Open to Everyone (See our website for full class schedule)

1833 Broad St - at the canal 706.364.KROC

ARTSINTHEHEART.COM

Arts in the Heart of Augusta Festival Broad Street, between 8th and 10th Streets Friday, September 16: 5-9 p.m. Saturday, September 17: 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Sunday, September 18: Noon-7 p.m. $7: Weekend badges at the gate Free: Children under 10 years old

GREECE

It’s Greek to Us

Augusta’s Greek community shows Arts in the Heart of Augusta what all the fuss is about If you haven’t figured it out from the poster, this year’s featured county is Greece — playground of the gods, cradle of western civilization and birthplace of the Olympics, both ancient and modern. It also happens to be an economic anchor heavy enough to plunge the world into that double dip recession we’ve all been worrying about, but we’ll just overlook that for the time being. After all, when was the last time you can remember Greece headlining Arts in the Heart? “The last time we were the host county, Arts in the Heart was held at the Municipal Center,” says organizer Penelope Ballas. “I think it’s been over 20 years.” This year’s hosting duties have nothing to do with the Greek debt crisis, of course. But it does happen to be the 100th Anniversary of Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church, so throwing a little love their way just makes sense. Besides, everybody loves something about the Greeks. “The Greek culture is just a fun culture,” Ballas says. “The food is great, the music is wonderful and lively. It’s a lot of fun.” The two facets of Greek culture she singled out — food and musical entertainment — will be in full force over the weekend, as Ballas and Augusta’s Greek community entertain festival goers with all things Greek. One of the perennial booths at Arts in the Heart, Ballas says this year’s culinary offerings will be expanded. “We felt that as host country we wanted to show a little more about our culture, so we added lamb sandwiches,” she says. While they’ve served lamb sandwiches during the annual Greek Festival, they’ve never had it on the menu during Arts in the Heart. “We will also have an appetizer plate that will have feta cheese, pita bread,

3 ARTS in the HEART

Greek olives, stuffed grape leaves and then we’ll have some gyros meat if someone wants that on top of it.” And for dessert? Do you really have to ask? “We’ll have our baklava, of course, and we’ll also have our baklava sundae, which is delicious,” she says. “It’s vanilla ice cream with baklava topping, and it’s excellent.” Ballas, who is a parish council member, says the hosting duties are being shared by the church and the American Hellenic Educational Progressive Association (AHEPA). The two groups have been meeting since March, though they’ve been in planning since Greece was announced as this year’s host country at the closing ceremonies of last year’s Arts in the Heart. Though the food and entertainment are still located at the Common, the new emphasis on Broad Street means the

location of their booth should now be ideal. “I think this will be perfect for us as host country because it’s more central,” she says. “It used to be that the far side of the Common on Broad Street was kind of the outskirts of the whole festival.” But while the Greek food might be near Broad Street, the Greek entertainment will be spread across the stages for the entire weekend. Ballas is especially excited to have a Greek band from Atlanta called Alpha Omega Sound, which you might say is the first and last word in traditional Greek music. Given the tight festival schedule this time of year, Ballas says they were lucky to get them. Pay special attention to the bouzouki, a type of Greek mandolin. It is the most recognizable traditional Greek instrument, and a just a few notes can transport you directly to the

Mediterranean. Atlanta may be supplying the band, but Augusta is supplying the dancers. “We actually have two youth groups from the church that will be dancing,” Ballas says. “One is a group of college students, the other is our high school youth group.” Along with the older kids, a troupe of younger kids will get the chance to dance shorter programs as well. “It’s nice to see each level progress,” she says. “The kids just do a wonderful job.” Though the church only has about 100 active members, Ballas says the community is strong, active and especially vibrant, given the number of transients from Fort Gordon and the medical district. “I do think that we have really made a name for ourselves,” she says.

Always Growing

Fine Arts and Crafts Market

Watercolorist expands his audience by looking behind the bar

Please refer to map on pages 6-7 for booth placement. Booth # 1 2 3-4 5 6 7-8 9 10 11 12 13-14 15 16 17-18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47-48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55-56 57

Lisa Davin: Dzyns by Lisa Jewelry Linda Tong: Laquerware by Linda Juliet King: Grunge Goddess Pottery Anthony Carter: Junk A. Birdhouses Silas Stoddart: Free Life Images Jeannie and Sam Maddox: Oil Anna Balkan: Jewelry Frank Neef: Ceramics Bill Divienzo: Lizard Key Designs Photography Tess Dirienzo: Lizard Key Designs Stained Glass Chris Hartsfield: Watercolor Erik Olsen: Metal Elizabeth ChaiMalpass: Fine Art, Paper Prints Jennifer Shultz: Jen Ell’s Revenge Clothing and Accessories Kimberly Bookman: Acrylic Paint Mary Ellen Boutelle and Cindy Murphy: Two Sisters Color Creations Lisa Kay Baggs: Paintings/Jewelry Abby Lauren Edwards: Acrylic, Mixed Media Augusta Opera Member Booth Jenna Hirt: Tying Tribes Jewelry Barbed Creation: Barbed Wire Art Cathy Sizer: Rings of Desire Jewelry James Shelago: Medusa’s Fossil and Stone Creations Mike and Lynn Skeen: Mickey and Madeline Art Glass Ricky Steele: Mixed Media Garden City Jazz Member Booth Jess Ann Smith: Wire Wrapped Jewelry Barbra Rush: Acrylic Alan Martin: Pixl Creation Photography Onyx Creations The Augusta Chorale Member Booth Deborah and Jim Karwisch: Hollow Mountain Arts Pottery Barry Summers: Let Their Be Glass Jewelry Jennifer and Jesse Elliot: Shoppe 3130 Lauren Ashley Hallmark: Painting Boys & Girls Club Member Booth Cecelia Thomas: Wyrd sisters Productions Jewelry Don Eaves: Lone Oak Studio Photography Robin Weinrich: Reflections Jewelry Kimberly Daise: Ak Arts Fine Arts Augusta Players Member Booth Cunningham Critters Green Council (sponsor) Roger Clark: In the Potters Hand Stoneware Mike Cherry: Portraits and Illustrations, Pencil Vicky Kiker: Lexica Jewelry Wenging X. Cao: Painting Ameigh Bishop: Glass Jewelry Dan and Ralph Donaldson: The Broom Brothers Sergio Ruano: Spoken For Bracelets New Moon Cafe (sponsor)

Though Chris Hartsfield has been selling his art at outdoor festivals for nearly a quarter century, it’s only recently that he’s figured out how to sell to men. “I have been able to sell to couples and women,” Hartsfield says. “But the guys who would buy from me would typically be part of a couple. Rarely ever would a man make the decision to buy my work.” That changed after the Daphne, Ala., artist started contemplating empty nesters and the advent of the “man cave.” After that, he began painting bar scenes and the men started coming in by themselves. “When I introduced the bourbon still lifes and the rum — now I have guys who come into my booth, open their wallet and buy from me without being prodded by their wife or significant other,” he says. Like his nautical scenes and streetscapes, these masculine still lifes — a watercolor world of liquor bottles, poker chips, bottle caps and matchbooks — are realistic, romanticized and accessible. “I have been, I guess, moderately successful in this business mainly because of the genre of painting that I do,” he says. “People like to sort of recognize what they’re looking at.” Growing up in Alabama with three sports-minded brothers, Hartsfield gravitated toward painting early on, receiving art supplies for Christmas instead of sports equipment. After walking away from a career selling advertising for newspapers, including the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, he turned to painting as a career. His wife sold her travel agency right after 9/11, and the two now participate in around 20 shows a year, traveling from city to city with a big white box truck full of about 600 items, both originals and prints. Even in a faltering economy, Hartsfield says the art market stays surprisingly strong. “As the economy has gotten tighter — and I’ve been through a couple of recessions – people who are going to buy artwork will typically not take that long cruise or buy that new car, but they will treat themselves to something that makes them feel good,” he says. “When they’re fluffing their homes up, they like to buy something that’s affordable, and that’s where the reproductions come in.” While technology may have made reproduced artwork more affordable, it hasn’t changed the way Hartsfield approaches his craft. “We’re in a digital world, but I still do my paintings the old-fashioned way,” he says. “I just wet a brush, put it in paint and then I paint on paper. The rest of the business has the influence of the digital world. The advent of the computer [and the associated printing process] has allowed the masses to be able to afford artwork that speaks to them in the same way that originals do.” Hartsfield says he’s excited to come to Augusta, and though this will be his first time to Arts in the Heart, it will also be a homecoming of sorts — as a child, he spent some time in Aiken when his father worked at the “bomb plant.” In spite of the memories, however, he says it was favorable word of mouth about the show that caused him to circle Augusta on his map this year. “There’s a little pipeline of artists,” he says. “Our network can run about as fast as the internet.” All joking aside, Hartsfield says living the artist’s life has been ultimately rewarding. “You’re working for yourself,” he says. “You have the freedom to go to a new city 20 times a year, and you make lifelong friends who trade you that thing they work hard for — money — for the thing you do out of sheer pleasure. It’s been a wonderful life.”

ARTS in the HEART 4

Golden Corner

South Carolina natives make traveling to art shows their business

In the northwest corner of South Carolina, the Golden Corner as residents call it, sits the city of Westminster, home of sculptors Gail and Roger Marcengill. Their golden corner of the state is within spitting distance of Tennessee, North Carolina and Georgia, which is a good thing for the Marcengills, since they travel to approximately 26 art shows a year. “We go from February to December,” Roger explained of a schedule that includes shows from Virginia to Florida. “We have a white van and we’ve got all this stuff packed in that van. It gives us just about enough room to get in and sit down.” The Marcengills, who will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary in November, have made the house and yard art they create their sole source of income for about 14 years now, but have been creating since long before then. “We’ve been doing art and stuff since the early ’80s,” Roger said. “She [Gail] is a fantastic, beautiful painter. It’s unreal what she can paint, but that’s not really what she wanted to do.” The couple both had day jobs up until they made the career switch out of necessity. “I have worked in the plants, and she did too, working maintenance and got laid off about three times,” Roger said. “After the last time, I told her, ‘I’m not getting laid off again.’” So Roger said he decided to go back to what his grandfather taught him: blacksmithing. Combine that skill with his ironwork and his wife’s copper work, and the two came up with a stable of creations that have become very popular. The list includes chandeliers, pot racks, and sculptures of animals, trees and churches. “One of our biggest sellers is what we call a harbor bell, a three-sided metal wind chime,” Roger said. “Your old harbor bell in Maine… it’s got that sound. The biggest one sounds like a church bell.” Wind chimes may be the old standby, but that doesn’t mean the Marcengills don’t pay attention to trends like the recent popularity of bottle trees. “It’s the going thing right now,” he said of his other top seller. “It sits in the yard and you put empty wine bottles in it.” Roger said that while the two definitely have different strengths, they work together as a team. “Both of us do it. With the copper, she’ll cut something out and we’ll put it together,” he explained. “Same thing with iron. She can do the same thing in iron that I can.” That doesn’t mean, however, that they have the same work style. In fact, Roger says it’s almost the exact opposite. “When I get into it, I just go at it,” he laughed. “Now, Gail can’t do that. She don’t like to do that many at one time.” Despite the difference in methods, the results amaze, with colors on the sculptures created by heat rather than by paint. And Roger said all the hard work and travel pays off. “Let’s put it this way: We don’t go hungry,” he laughed. “I don’t know how good of a living it is, but we don’t go hungry.”

5 ARTS in the HEART

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Sarah Adams Craig: Cribbley Goodness Jewelry Kay Edenfield: Miss Kay Folk Art Symphony Orchestra Augusta Member Booth The Cutting Edge Marissa Evans: Primitives Studio Acrylics and Watercolors Kathryn Cukier: Innovative Wood Mixed Media William Hunter III: Ceramics Pieceful Heart Quilters Member Booth Phyllis Frankenfield: Unique Letters Photography Paul Fussell: Innovative Wood Imperial Theatre Member Booth Emily Griffith: Oil Jill L. Shank: Firenza Beads and Silver Jewelry Theressa Hamm: Creatively Woven Baskets Kowit Jitprahai: Claynwire Sculpture Artist Cuild of Columbia County Member Booth Kasey Ortoski: A Whirl and a Twirl Craft/Mixed Media Silver Talisman: Jewelry Karin Wilkerson: Kickin’ Glass Art David Stuart: Wild Hare Pottery Global Spectrum Member Booth Rebecca Cool McClurkin: Cool Designs Jewelry Jim Zhang: Mixed Media Tara Pegg: IcheeFeet Creations Johnny Stephenson: Lightscapes Photography Billy S: Paintings Sara Searle: Acrylics, Beads, Buttons on Canvas Yolanda Moore: Bamboo Jewelry Deborah Martin and Preston Scott: Gnarled Tree Music-Craft Diane Boyd: Anointed Hands Adorn Jewelry Augusta Choral Society Member Booth Hugh and Mary MacKellar: HuMa Pewter Sam Bowers: Hard Work Hands Jewelry Visiongate: Photography Tonya Hedgeman: Ceramic Art by Tonya InSpiraled: Jewelry Fred Fisher: Aquatic Impressions Fish Rubbings Katrina Gray: Earthwear Jewelry David Chrzan: The Whistle Guy Clay/Crafts Barbra Robinson: Stained Glass Brian Blackmore: Rainbow Designs Jewelry Ann R. Erickson: Illuminations Custom Calligraphy Jessye Norman School of the Arts Member Booth Ariana Baker: Honest Anxiety Painting/ Drawing Javier Baron: Exclusives Jewelry/Silver Smith Cheryl Ludlow: Mixed Bottlecap Jewelry Charles Ivy: Papa’s Shop Blacksmith and Metal Sculpture Paul and Sue Bergstrom: Mountain Melodies James T.Stein: JT’s Wooden Toys Bridget Whitehead: Gypsy Jewels Jewelry Jennie Colbert-Kennedy: Jennie’s Creations Fiber Art Augusta Film Member Booth Wade Franklin: Pottery Tammy Rudd: Glass Jewelry Gail and Roger Marcengill: Mtt Forge Iron and Copper Allison Hood: PaperDoll Earrings Patrick Maley: State Line Pottery

Cool Waters

Live Life in The CurrenT

Artist Jeannie Maddox’s lifelike swimmers cause viewers to do a double-take

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If you’re at Arts in the Heart and you need to cool off, you might want to visit Jeannie Maddox’s booth. “I don’t know how many times I’ve had people come into my booth and say, ‘It’s so pleasant here — it’s so hot out there,’” Maddox says. It’s not that the Dothan, Ala., artist travels with a lot of fans. That coolness is byproduct of her popular Swimmer Series, which captures the refreshing rush of swimming in a crystal clear pool with photorealistic precision. With one of Maddox’s paintings, you don’t just get a pretty picture, you get the actual feeling of the day — the sun shining on the water, the reflection on the skin, the drops of water on the face. “I’m trying to mimic a photograph,” Maddox says. “I’m trying to make you feel like you’re almost looking at a moment in time. It’s a charge for me to be able to get that message across with my own paint.” Her husband Sam chuckles about the number of people who look at one of her paintings and wonder aloud whether it’s a photograph or a painting. “We literally could have put our son through Harvard if we’d have had a dime for every time somebody said that,” he says, which leads to the practical question: why work so hard to make a painting look like a photograph when you could just take a photograph and be done with it? “Even though they are so much like photographs, there’s still that artist’s touch in there with the paint,” Maddox says. “After you’ve looked at it for awhile, you realize that there are brush strokes. Husband Sam is a tad more practical. “Photographs don’t sell for $25,000,” he says. While that’s an awful lot of money, a Maddox original can take up to 400 or 500 hours to produce, which is one of the reasons she enjoys the show circuit rather than the gallery scene. Galleries typically require quite a few paintings up front, which is difficult given the production hours. They also tend to distance the artist from the client, which she says would make the process a lot less fulfilling. “We love the traveling and meeting people, and we’ve made great friends over the years,” she says. “We’ve stayed in their houses during art shows and we’ve met some really interesting people.” Some of those people include the president of Macy’s, a relationship that yielded not only art sales, but trips to the parade and Thanksgiving dinner overlooking Central Park. “It’s been a far more interesting life, I think, than it would have been if you sat in your studio alone and waiting for your phone to ring from the galleries,” she says. Maddox estimates she and her husband will probably attend just under 30 shows this year. And while it might seem like carting around paintings to outdoor shows might be beneath someone regularly selling $25,000 paintings, Maddox says the exposure is beneficial. At a recent show in Texas, she received a commission for two $18,000 originals, something that wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t been at a show. “If you stay in the Ivory Tower, people aren’t going to find you,” Sam says. Though Maddox doesn’t only paint swimmers, she says she knew early on in the recession that it was the swimmers that would get them through. People see her Swimmer Series and want the person in the water to be their wife or daughter. She doesn’t just sell originals, however. She says she’ll come down to shows like Arts in the Heart with five or six originals and prints ranging from $50 to $1,800. “That’s nice in that we can go to a show and pay expenses and make money without having a zero show of not selling one of the originals,” she says.

ARTS in the HEART 8

Creatively Woven

Basket artist Theressa Hamm creates unusual designs

Weaver Theressa Hamm creates all the items that a customer might expect: baskets, totes and trays are among the staples of her business, Creatively Woven. But it is her artistic baskets that are by far the most eye-catching. What are artistic baskets? It is a style that the Waynesboro resident developed on her own after going to shows and exploring other artists’ booths. “They look like a mixture of pottery and baskets and that’s what I was going for,” Hamm explained. “I was going to art shows and looking at the pottery booths and I loved the colors. I was looking to get that in my baskets so I developed my own style. After the basket is woven, I draw the designs that I want and apply strips of paper with glue. Then I put on the border.” The results are amazingly detailed baskets that look as if they’ve been painted with deep hues of greens and reds. It is a time-consuming process, Hamm said. “I work on those for a week,” she said. “Not constantly, but I work a little bit each day after they’re woven putting the papers on.” Hamm began weaving about 20 years ago when she and her family — her husband was in the Marine Corps — were stationed in Iwakuni, Japan. “One of the local women, she wove,” Hamm said. “She was a friend of the family, so I asked her to teach me and she did. And then when we moved to North Carolina, I took classes in the more traditional styles.” The differences between the Japanese style of weaving and the more traditional American styles are vast. And while her training in Japan gave her a good foundation, Hamm said she naturally gravitates toward the traditional. “They [the Japanese] use a lot of bamboo and there’s some round reed. And they weave cutesy things like butterflies and tea sets, where we weave baskets,” she explained. “I weave mostly baskets and I love traditional styles. My favorite is the Shaker style and I also like to weave in the Cherokee style.” This is Hamm’s first Arts in the Heart appearance after a 3-4 year hiatus, during which time she took a break to care for her ailing mother. Now that her mother is well and living in Washington state, Hamm said she’s just now getting back into art shows like the one in Augusta this weekend. Hamm said visitors to her Creatively Woven booth can expect to find 4-6 of the artistic styles, while she’ll have approximately 30 of the more traditional baskets available. “The average price is about $45,” she said. “That’s about the average. They run, of course, from $10 to $160 or $170.” Right now, Hamm said that weaving is her full-time job, one that helps her out in an unusual way. “I’m attending Augusta Technical College right now and this is what is paying for my tuition,” she said. “I’m in the nuclear engineering technician program.” Her field of study may be distinctly left brained, but Hamm said her weaving satisfies her strong right-brain tendencies. “I’m creative, so I like to make things,” she said. “And it’s very relaxing.”

9 ARTS in the HEART

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Taking the Stage

All That Jazz

Community Stage: Ninth and Broad Streets Friday, September 16

5 p.m. Lunar Octopus (jazz/funk/rock) 5:45 p.m. The Pinckney Sisters Gospel Quartet 6:45 p.m. Michael Santangelo (solo keyboardist) 8 p.m. Eskimojitos (pop/rock)

ASU Conservatory Jazz Band opens Arts in the Heart festivities Saturday

Eskimojitos

Saturday, September 17 11 a.m. Naomi Ruth McFadden (gospel) Noon The New Tones (class rock) 1 p.m. Pure Love (contemporary Christian and gospel) 2-2:30 Heanon Tate Gospel 2:45 p.m. Five’s A Crowd (country/pop) 3:45 p.m. Billy S 4:45 p.m. Garden City Jazz 6 p.m. 3rd Shift (funk) 7 p.m. Double D (classic rock duo) 8 p.m. G-City Rockers

Sunday September 18 Noon The Company of Job (opera) 1 p.m. David Owen (Southern-tinged Americana) 2 p.m. Savannah River String Band (hammered dulcimers, mandolin and guitar) 3 p.m. Kayla Marie (country and folk) 4 p.m. Augusta Chorale (classical, popular, Broadway, gospel and spirituals) 5 p.m. The Gilded Youth (alternative pop/rock) 6 p.m. Ippie Music

Family Stage: Eighth and Broad Streets Friday, September 16

5 p.m. Christine Mangelly (belly dancing performance) 6 p.m. Dance Xtreme (jazz, tap, clog, hip hop and lyrical performance) 7 p.m. Celtic Rhythm Irish Dancers 7:30 p.m. Eastern Star Dance 8:15 p.m. Rhythm and Class Cloggers

Saturday, September 17 11 a.m. Kane and Co (jazz, tap, lyrical, clog and hip hop performances) 11:30 a.m. CSRA Zumba (Latin dance fitness performance) Noon Savannah Winds (traditional Middle Eastern dance) 12:45 p.m. Denise Cheeks Studio of Music (vocal performance) 2 p.m. Hayiya Dance Theatre (traditional West African dance performance) 2:45 p.m. Envey Belly Dance Augusta 3:30 p.m. Suzuki Strings of Augusta Junior and Senior Ensemble 5 p.m. Greek Dancers 6 p.m. JAMP Masters (James Brown Academy of Musical Pupils performances) 7 p.m. CSRA Belly Dancers 8-9 Da Islanders (Hawaiian performance)

Sunday September 18 Noon Hip2Hip Studio and Asuhndree World Dance (classical, instrumental and vocal performances) 1 p.m. Tai Chi Fitness 2:15 p.m. Cutno Dance Center (African, modern, ballet and tap performances) 3:15 p.m. Pulse Dance Center (jazz, tap, ballet and contemporary performances) 4:15 p.m. Augusta Youth School of Dance (tap, jazz, ballet and hip hop performances) 5:30 p.m. Greek Dancers 6-7 Island Rhythm (Hawaiian hula and Tahitian dance performances)

The only requirements to play in the ASU Conservatory Jazz Band are that you be a high school student who plays an instrument. “It’s quite simple,” said teacher and conductor John “Doc” Bradley. “All they have to do is come on Saturday morning, register, pay their tuition and, hopefully, stay in the program. There’s no audition. If they say they want to play, well, they’re more than welcome.” And if they stay, they’ll learn from one of the best in the business. Bradley, a trumpet player who says he’s been playing all his life, got his undergraduate degree in music from Texas Southern, his masters from Cook College of Music in Chicago and his doctorate from Southeastern University when it was in New Orleans. Bradley’s played in jazz combos and big bands all along the way, and has been a band director since 1958 at schools all over Georgia. “I love it. That’s my passion is music,” he said. “And I love all kinds of music, all genres. It’s not just one kind. I don’t find anything else [but music] that can hold my attention.” In the mid-1990s, Bradley and Wayne Houy, a saxophone player, started what they called the CSRA All Star High School Big Band, a community band that would rehearse at different schools in the area. After Houy left for Colorado, Bradley kept the group going. It eventually became part of Augusta State’s Conservatory program. The group averages about 25 students who play instruments one would find in a typical big band: five saxophones, 4-5 trumpets, 4-5 trombones and a rhythm section made up of piano, guitar, bass and drums. They play at various events throughout the year, including Arts in the Heart, and often ask local vocalists to accompany them. “We don’t just do it for Arts in the Heart,” Bradley explained. “We have two concerts a year at the university; one in the fall and one in the spring. Along the line we’ll perform at different venues for different activities or different people.” A standing performance for the group is the opening night of each summer’s Candlelight Jazz Series at the Riverwalk, hosted by Garden City Jazz. And though they call themselves a jazz band, Bradley says they often branch out into different genres. “At times, I don’t stick with straight jazz compositions,” he explained. “We’ll do pop, rock… the students like it, the parents like it and people can identify with it. I do a little Michael Jackson because I know the kids like that.” “We don’t ever want to forget the audience,” he continued, “but, at the same time, you want to make the students happy. If they’re not happy, they won’t tell me, but I know.” That, he said, is what the program is all about: the kids. So while he’s strict — don’t even try and walk in to a rehearsal late — Bradley will also crack corny jokes. And if he’s wrong, he wants his students to tell him. He teaches students theory, history, style and improv, a lot of it coming from personal experience rather than a textbook. “They can talk to me about a lot of great musicians that have come and gone. Count Basie, Duke Ellington… those are the kind of people I’ve been around,” he said. “I don’t have to go get a book. I could write my own book.” ASU Conservatory Jazz Band Global Stage, Augusta Common Saturday, September 17 11 a.m. Free with Arts in the Heart badge artsintheheart.com

ARTS in the HEART 10

Reunited

Snapdragon concert feels so good for those who remember Tara Scheyer’s 1990s indie-rock band

Troubadour Stage: The Clock, Broad and 10th Streets Friday, September 16

5 p.m. Schrodinger’s Cat (improv ensemble performance) 6 p.m. Levi (live pop music) 7 p.m. Prater Boyz (live hip hop/pop performance)

Saturday, September 17 11 a.m. Schrodinger’s Cat (improv ensemble performance)

Four stages; three days worth of performances. That’s a lot to see and hear this weekend at Arts in the Heart of Augusta. Out of all the worthy contenders, however, there is one performance that almost every fan of the local music scene has circled on the schedule and marked on their calendars. That is Saturday night’s reunion of Snapdragon, an indie-rock group from the 1990s helmed by one of Augusta’s favorite performers and teachers, Tara Scheyer. Scheyer has made Augusta her home off and on since 1994, when she famously closed her eyes, pointed at an atlas and, the next day, moved to the city her finger landed on. “When I first moved here I had a record deal with a band that I called Snapdragon,” she explained. “So when I moved here I kind of started over with the band and found new people to play in it. I had a record deal in Florida, so we went down there and recorded and then we toured. We pretty much spent the years I was here touring.” That record, released in 1995, was called “Drinking Watermelon Sugar,” a reference to another band that Scheyer had previously been in. Indie rock was popular at the time, and thanks to Scheyer’s signature lyrical style and songs such as “Farrah Fawcett,” “Superhero’s Club” and “Scary Clown Robber” the album gained notoriety. “One of my songs was on MTV, JC Penney bought one of the songs, and we were touring and playing at colleges all the time,” Scheyer recalled. “Farrah Fawcett,” in fact, went to No. 6 in the country on the alternative radio charts, but Snapdragon disbanded when Scheyer moved to Nashville in 1999 to become a songwriter for Reba McEntire’s Starstruck Publishing. When she returned to Augusta in 2002, Tara was married to Kevin Scheyer, also a musician who plays drums in the current lineup of Snapdragon, and the couple now has two children, Felix and Nopa. Tara has concentrated on music education — teaching individual piano lessons and group music classes for kids — and Kevin is a soccer coach and teacher at the Academy of Richmond County. In 2007, the couple — backed by friends and some of Tara’s music students — released “HiFi Felix Volume One” as the Mud Puppy Band. The group, which focuses on children’s music and performs locally, released “HiFi Felix Volume Two” shortly afterwards and are currently at work on a CD of holiday music. They switched back to “adult” music last year, regrouping Snapdragon with Erin Jacobs (with the band almost from the beginning), Travis Petrea and Ronnie Hill. “We got back together last year to help Kevin raise money for Team in Training and it was a lot of fun,” Tara remembered. And a lot different than the touring she recalled from 10 years ago. “It’s really fun because it’s a break. When I was doing it all the time, I was sick of it,” she said. “The bar scene? I was sick of playing in smoky bars, trying to play over drunk people. It was just a pain. But now, we’re all parents. It’s a whole different thing and it’s kind of fun remembering when.” Snapdragon Reunion Global Stage, Augusta Common Saturday, September 17 8 p.m. Free with Arts in the Heart badge artsintheheart.com

11 ARTS in the HEART

Noon Multicultural Microphone (open mic featuring spoken word, dance, singing, instrumental performances and more) 1:45 p.m. Musical Theatre Workshop (student performance) 3 p.m. Michael the Musicated Minor (spoken word and musical performance) 3:30 p.m. Jezibell Anat (Voices of the Goddess spoken word narrative) 4 p.m. Yossef the Storyteller (A Vagabond’s Tale) 5 p.m. Irish Trio (traditional Irish performance) 6 p.m. Young Kazz (rap performance) 7 p.m. The ConSOULtant (pop music performance) 8 p.m. LAS Music (live music and drama performances)

Sunday September 18 Noon Davidson Fine Arts Improv Troupe (theater performance) 2 p.m. Poetry Workshop (led by Stefen Micko) 3:30 p.m. Poetry Slam (with Dorian Harris of Mahogany Lounge)

Global Stage: Augusta Common Friday, September 16

5 p.m. Greece (music and dance from the featured culture of the 2011 festival) 6 p.m. Opening Ceremonies (Posting of Colors, Mayoral proclamation, welcome by Greek delegation, Parade of Nations, Unity Dance, Alpha Omega Sound and Dance) 8 p.m. Sand Hills String Band (bluegrass performance)

Saturday, September 17 11 a.m. ASU Conservatory Jazz Band Noon Greece (music and dance from the featured culture of the 2011 festival) 1 p.m. Chinese Dancers 2 p.m. Greece (music and dance from the featured culture of the 2011 festival) 3 p.m. Tinikling- Bamboo Dance (sponsored by the Philippine American Association of the CSRA) 3:45 p.m. India (folk dances, fashion show and traditional music performances) 4:30 p.m. SRP Federal Credit Union Fine Art and Craft Awards and Global Food Awards Ceremony 5 p.m. Singer-Songwriter Competition 8 p.m. Snapdragon reunion concert featuring Tara Scheyer, Kevin Scheyer, Erin Jacobs, Travis Petrea and Ronnie Hill

Sunday September 18 Noon Foot Loose and Fancy Free Cloggers 1 p.m. Saidi Belles Dance (Middle Eastern, Bhangra and Oriental performances) 2 p.m. Greece (music and dance from the featured culture of the 2011 festival) 3 p.m. ABATSU and AJADACO Dancers (African dance performances) 4 p.m. Community Talent Show (produced by Fort Gordon Entertainment) 5:30 p.m. Alpha Omega Sound (Greece music)

Crafty Sippin’

Arts in the Heart is more than meat on a stick Along with the well-known sampling of international cuisine, Arts in the Heart is fast becoming the area’s top spot to sample craft beer. “We started the craft beer tent about three years ago and we were struggling to fill eight taps,” says Christy Beckham, a marketing professional for AB Beverage, the official beer supplier of the event. “Now, we’re trying to do whatever we can to narrow it down to 13 or 14 that we can tap up at one time.” The craft beer tent, called Joe’s Metro Spirits in honor of Metro Spirit Owner/ Publisher Joe White, who has been manning the bar since its inception, will be located in the Augusta Common. Beckham expects it to have 13 tapped at one time, with a few others in reserve. Beers will include the Shock Top beers (Original, Pumpkin Wheat and Raspberry), Magic Hat’s #9 and Circus

Boy, seven beers from New Belgium Brewery, three from Southern Tier, Yuengling Oktoberfest, Land Shark Lager, Kona Fire Rock and a German import called Krombacher. Previously an exclusive AnheuserBusch wholesaler, AB Beverage’s switch to a non-exclusive wholesaler allowed them to pick up Yuengling, and from there they were able to add Flat Tire, Southern Tier and a variety of other brands to keep up with the national growth of craft beers. “With domestic beer, there’s only so much you can sell,” Beckham says. “The craft beers are more specific and cater to a different audience because they’re obviously far more expensive.” Beer enthusiasts, like wine snobs and cigar aficionados, are always on the lookout for their next favorite thing. It’s about adventure and branching out and

Best known for his mosaic belt buckles, which sell for thousands of dollars and are owned by some of the music industry’s most influential performers, Paul Pearman is also responsible for what just might be the most identifiable artifact of the old Metro Spirit office: the mosaic Metro Spirit reception desk. It’s obviously a piece of Metro Spirit history, but we like to think it’s a piece of Augusta history as well, which is why the piece will be auctioned off on Sunday afternoon in a silent auction. Proceeds will benefit the Greater Augusta Arts Council. Handmade by carpenter Todd Garrick, the piece could withstand pretty much anything. Ideally, one would put in a sink, position on their deck, and have the coolest bar in town. Pearman, who emulates a lot of different artists in his work, says the pattern should be familiar to most art lovers. “The pattern is a pure Gustav Klimt geometrical type of theme,” he says. A painter for 20 years, Pearman says he turned to mosaic work because the market had a glut of good painters. “I kind of researched all the different art forms and all the different mediums and me personally — I think in the art field, the weakest link is mosaic work,” he says. “A lot of people that do mosaic work do what I call random broken mosaic work, which is just broken bits and pieces. But if you look at the old mosaics you see in museums, they look like ornate paintings.” Even though he now works in bits and pieces, he still uses that painter’s background by painting an impressionistic outline underneath. That outline dictates how the glass will go down. Obviously, providing the artistry and detail he’s known for takes a great deal of patience as well as a skill born from experience. “When you hand nip glass, the nippers are like the paint brush,” he says. “A lot of people think making the shapes is really easy, but if you’re trying to nip tiles and do a Van Gogh that will fit in the palm of your hand, you kind of have to know what you’re doing.” A Van Gogh that will fit in the palm of your hand or a

finding something different. But because beer, like wine and cigars, is a broad topic that can often be intimidating for both the uninitiated as well as those in the business, AB Beverage went out and hired a craft beer expert. “Someone will come up and say, ‘I usually drink White Zinfandel — what will I like’ and you have to come up with something out of 13 beers and say, ‘This will be your favorite,’” Beckham says. “Having a craft beer specialist allows us to tell people about the brewing process, what’s used and how it’s made.” The craft beer specialist will be at the event all weekend, and surrounded by such a variety of good food, you can imagine he’s going to be in demand. “It’s such a wide variety of beer and such a wide variety of foods,” Beckham says. “What works for Thai food isn’t going to work for German food, so I

think the more variety you have, the more you can match it up.” Variety is what it’s all about. “Just having an event like Arts in the Heart where you have the opportunity to sample so many different products — it’s a perfect fit,” she says. “It is the craft beer customer.” Beckham says that of the many events they sponsor in the course of a year, Arts in the Heart is definitely No. 1 on the craft beer sampling opportunities, and sampling equals sales. “Obviously, to us with our domestics, with our crafts, with everything we carry, the best way to get our customer to buy it is to let them try it by sampling, and with Arts in the Heart, it’s an opportunity for us to talk to people,” she says. “There can be a line of five people, but it’s not a line of 300, so we can talk to people and explain things.”

Klimt that will cover a reception desk, the skills are transferable, as are the materials, which can be anything from glass and emeralds to arrowheads and whorehouse tokens. “I use all kinds of weird, different things,” he says. Anyone interested in the bidding on the makings of an awesome bar, can check it out at the craft beer tent in the Common, where it will be on display throughout Arts in the Heart weekend.

Piece of Spirit history to be auctioned off during Arts in the Heart

THEEIGHT BOX TOPS

“Contagion” catches the No. 1 spot over the weekend, but doesn’t wipe out “The Help.” RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

CONTAGION

$22,403,596

THE HELP

$8,926,142

$137,327,800

WARRIOR

$5,242,107

THE DEBT

$4,770,720

$21,867,676

COLOMBIANA

$3,947,582

$29,726,288

MOVIEREVIEW

”Contagion”

Sam Eifling Wash your damn hands before it’s too late! Stumbling out of the end credits of “Contagion,” the engrossing medical thriller out now, you may feel like audiences did 40 years ago when they left the spookily calm ending of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” and noticed just how many birds were outside. Director Steven Soderbergh’s vision of an epic viral outbreak — think H1N1 squared — resonates in the same vein of quotidian danger. The fast-moving virus, which kills its human host after just a few days of brutal flu, passes from person to person via innocuous contact: shaking someone’s hand, handling a used martini glass, touching a door. Soap and hot water never felt so good after a movie. The prime carrier for this carnage is a vivacious executive (Gwyneth Paltrow), who brings the bug back to Minneapolis after a trip to Hong Kong. As deaths crop up around the world, it isn’t long before a conspiracy-minded blogger (Jude Law) is trying to peddle the story of the mystery flu, and the Centers for Disease Control and the World Health Organization are scrambling to gather data, and to develop treatments and vaccines.

Laurence Fishburne puts his generally stiff and stentorian delivery to good use as a CDC administrator trying to stay in front of the outbreak; Marion Cotillard plays his top researcher; and Kate Winslet sallies into the epidemic in Minnesota to gather data and to tell people to stop touching their faces so much. (See, you’re doing it even now! This is how germs are spread, you know.) Matt Damon plays the husband — eep, make that widower to Paltrow’s patient zero. This being a Soderbergh pic, you’re in for a pulsing soundtrack thick with electronic percussion and light-industrial synth, along with a lot of quick cuts, and a heavy hand on the color-corrections in post-production. But don’t worry: It all flows, and the strength of “Contagion” is that it doesn’t indulge in any of the supposed crowd-pleasing tropes of the disaster genre. This vision of doomsday isn’t much for car chases or shootouts or CGI or sappiness. The selfless daughter who sticks with Damon’s grieving husband, for instance, soon thinks of him as an overprotective pain. Far from “28 Days” or “The Stand,”

it doesn’t imagine the total collapse of government and society (or the rise of quasi-zombieism). Rather, the virus in “Contagion” is merely bad enough to pause the world economy, close schools, ground flights, enrage nurses’ unions, keep police at home, touch off looting and food riots, require mass graves. Upending a parade of pandemic flicks that leave no misfortune unimagined, “Contagion” displays restraint, and thereby stakes claim to that most frightening dimension: relative plausibility. The timing of the release, coinciding as it did with the dirge of 9/11 anniversary

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coverage, cannot have been accidental. “Contagion” makes comparisons, in the midst of the epidemic, to the influenza outbreak of 1918 that killed 1 percent of the world population. And although it never puts a hard number on the death toll for its imagined virus, it might be somewhere in the low hundreds of millions. Next to this scenario, an attack that kills than 3,000 is scarcely a rounding error. But flu has killed between 3,000 and 50,000 people in the United States every year for the past three decades. Never forget to wash your hands.

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DRAMA

“Drive,” rated R, starring Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston, Albert Brooks. Stuntman by day, getaway man by night, Vin Diesel discovers that someone has put a hit out on him. Did I say Vin Diesel? I meant Ryan Gosling. Oops. “Straw Dogs,” rated R, starring James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgard, James Woods. Here we go again: Southerners portrayed as inbred, truck-driving yokels. As played by “True Blood”’s Eric? Yeah, I think we can live with that.

COMEDY

“I Don’t Know How She Does It,” rated PG-13, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Kelsey Grammer. Carrie Bradshaw married to Greg Kinnear? I don’t think so.

“Sherlock”

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No offense, Robert Downey Jr.: We love you. We really do. But as Sherlock Holmes, Benedict Cumberbatch has you beat. Cumberbatch plays Holmes in a 2009 BBC adaptation that finds the detective transported to modern-day London, where he is a nerdily-handsome, nicotine-patch wearing smartass who tends to self destruct (and shoot holes in his apartment wall) when his brain is deprived of a puzzle to solve. Assisting him, of course, is Dr. John Watson, a war veteran injured in Afghanistan. This new take, conceived of by two “Doctor Who” writers, retains the traits that made these two characters so well-loved, but adds a quicker pace, darker and more frightening mysteries and a distinctly modern take on the two characters’ relationship. When Watson moves in with Holmes, for instance, their landlady points out the extra bedroom upstairs. “If you’ll be needing one,” she adds slyly. The first three episodes — “A Study in Pink,” “The Blind Banker” and “The Great Game” — are available on DVD, which also includes the unaired pilot. You’ll probably blow through them quickly, but will have plenty of time to get caught up before a new season airs on BBC in 2012, then shortly thereafter on PBS.

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THE8ERS September 16-17 Main Field: Contagion (PG-13) and Crazy Stupid Love (PG-13) Screen 2: Drive (R) and Don’t be Afraid of the Dark (R) Screen 3: Colombiana (PG-13) and Friends with Benefits (R) Gates open at 7 p.m.; Movies start at 8:15 p.m. (approximately)

Masters 7 Cinemas

September 16 Cowboys and Aliens (PG-13) 4:15, 7, 9:45; Horrible Bosses (R) 5:10, 7:30, 10; Zookeeper (PG) 5:20, 7:45, 10:10; Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13) 4:30, 5:30, 8, 9; Bad Teacher (R) 5, 7:15, 9:30; Green Lantern (PG13) 6:45; Bridesmaids (R) 4, 9:15 September 17 Cowboys and Aliens (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7, 9:45; Horrible Bosses (R) 12:45, 3, 5:10, 7:30, 10; Zookeeper (PG) 12:30, 3, 5:20, 7:45, 10:10; Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13) 1, 2, 4:30, 5:30, 8, 9; Bad Teacher (R) 12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:30; Green Lantern (PG-13) 1:30, 6:45; Bridesmaids (R) 4, 9:15

Evans Cinemas

September 16 Drive (R) 2:50, 5:15, 7:35, 10; I Don’t Know How She Does It (PG-13) 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:45; The Lion King (G) 3:15, 5:30; Straw Dogs (R) 3, 5:25, 7:45, 10:10; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (R) 9:50; Contagion (PG-13) 2:40, 5:05, 7:30, 10; Warrior (PG-13) 3:50, 6:50, 9:50; Seven Days in Utopia (G) 4, 7:05, 9:30; Shark Night (PG-13) 2:55, 5:10, 7:25, 9:55; The Debt (R) 4:10, 6:45, 9:35; Colombiana (PG-13) 7:40, 10:10; Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (PG) 2:25, 4:40; The Help (PG-13) 4:30, 8; Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) 4:20, 7:10, 9:40; Crazy, Stupid, Love (PG-13) 6:55, 9:45; The Smurfs (PG) 3:25, 5:30 September 17 Drive (R) 12:25, 2:50, 5:15, 7:35, 10; I

Don’t Know How She Does It (PG13) 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:45; The Lion King (G) 1, 3:15, 5:30; Straw Dogs (R) 12:35, 3, 5:25, 7:45, 10:10; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (R) 9:50; Contagion (PG-13) 12:15, 2:40, 5:05, 7:30, 10; Warrior (PG-13) 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:50; Seven Days in Utopia (G) 1:10, 4, 7:05, 9:30; Shark Night (PG-13) 12:40, 2:55, 5:10, 7:25, 9:55; The Debt (R) 1:30, 4:10, 6:45, 9:35; Colombiana (PG-13) 7:40, 10:10; Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (PG) 12:15, 2:25, 4:40; The Help (PG-13) 1:15, 4:30, 8; Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) 1:40, 4:20, 7:10, 9:40; Crazy, Stupid, Love (PG-13) 6:55, 9:45; The Smurfs (PG) 1:20, 3:25, 5:30

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September 16-17 Drive (R) 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30, 11:50; I Don’t Know How She Does It (PG-13) 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7:50, 10:05, 12:20; The Lion King (G) 12, 12:30, 2:15, 2:45, 4:30, 5, 7, 7:30, 9:15, 11:30; Straw Dogs (R) 12:20, 4, 7:20, 9:55, 12:30; Contagion (PG-13) 12, 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, 10:30, 12, 12:30; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (R) 4:55, 9:40; Laugh at my Pain (R) 12:55, 4:20, 7:25, 9:40, 12:05; Warrior (PG-13) 12:40, 4:10, 7:20, 10:25; Apollo 18 (PG-13) 2:15, 7:15, 12:20; Shark Night (PG-13) 12:25, 7:05, 12:25; The Debt (R) 12:35, 4:05, 7:15, 9:55; Colombiana (PG-13) 12:50, 3:45, 7:35, 10:15; Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (R) 3:55, 9:55, 12:20; Our Idiot Brother (R) 1, 4:35, 7:55, 10:20; Fright Night (R) 4:15, 9:45; Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (PG) 12:50, 7:25; Final Destination 5 (R) 4:25, 9:45, 12:15; The Help (PG-13) 12:10, 12:45, 3:50, 4:35, 7, 7:45, 10:10, 10:55; Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) 1:20, 4:25, 7:20, 9:50, 12:25; The Smurfs (PG) 12:20, 7:05; Captain America: The First Avenger (PG-13) 1:15, 4:45, 7:40, 10:30

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METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 37

SIGHTINGS

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Libby Odell, Jessica Hill and Desiree Spires at the Drowning Pool concert at Coyote’s.

Rachel Bradshaw, Ty Brown, Stacie Jakubov and Teena Bailey at The Country Club.

Sallie Long, Jackson Cooper, Bettis Rainsford Jr. and Melissa Vann at the Rooster’s Beak.

SIGHTINGS

David Greco and Caroline Bruker with Karen and Dee Bruker at the Concert for Ali at Le Chat Noir.

Senator Bill Jackson, Lt. Governor Casey Cagle, Sheriff Ronnie Strength and Sheriff Clay Whittle at the Law Enforcement, Firefighters and First Responders Appreciation Day Cookout at Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

Deputies Kelly Lundy, Aunarey Herbert, Oleg Grinko and Dee Humphreys at the Law Enforcement, Firefighters and First Responders Appreciation Day Cookout at Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

SIGHTINGS

Amanda Stewart, Priscilla Hickox and Samantha Parker at the 18th Annual Border Bash at the old train depot at Sixth and Reynolds streets.

Michele Herron with UGA mascot Harry Dog and Wendy Widener at the 18th Annual Border Bash at the old train depot at Sixth and Reynolds streets.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

USC Cheerleaders Bree Cook with Augusta’s Victoria King, Kelly Leggett and Elisa Johnson at the 18th Annual Border Bash at the old train depot at Sixth and Reynolds streets.

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38 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

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METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 39

JENNYISWRIGHT

Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

15 in 5

Because I love a list. I especially love a random list. 1. What’s the story with those romper things, ladies? Do you have to pull your clothes completely off to use the restroom? Seems like a grown-up onesie. Shouldn’t they have a snap crotch or something? 2. When a caller realizes he’s dialed the wrong number, why does he ask, “Wait, did I dial 555-5555?” Well, no, because if you’d dialed that instead of my number, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we? 3. Kudos to everyone who gets out and runs at the Y. At least you’re active. Can we lay off the pre-run perfume dousing? It’s hard to run in a cloud of Shalimar. 4. I was at the gas station the other day and there was a man going through the big ashtray outside. Apparently he was looking for any butts that weren’t fully smoked. Not that I wish he could afford cigarettes, but it’s sad that he’s that desperate. 5. To the mom/son combo waiting in line at the self-checkout the other day. That was my personal space. I intentionally took longer because you

were standing so close. 6. Three people found my blog searching “dark boy.” I’m not sure from whence this came or what to think about it. Three people? 7. People also stumbled my way with the search terms “show me your underwear,” “can see panties without underwear,” “cleaning out car no panties,” “welcome mat I can see your underwear,” “pictures of people lowrise jeans no pantis [sic],” and “‫ילב סינט‬ ‫סבלס םינותחת‬,” which means “tennis no panties celebs” in Hebrew. Interesting. 8. Did you know that 500,000 people

were evacuated from Manhattan via boat on 9/11? It’s the single largest civilian evacuation in U.S. history. The second largest was Dunkirk in WWII, helping 339,000 people escape and it took nine days. There’s a brief documentary narrated by Tom Hanks that tells the story of the water rescue. Google it. 9. It’s interesting that just about every other tragedy has been fodder for jokes. You don’t hear them about 9/11. No amount of passed time will change that. 10. At the UGA v. USC game this weekend, both marching bands combined on the field in a tribute to

FREEWILLASTROLOGY VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

FREEWILLASTROLOGY@FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM Rob Brezsny

150 mutations that make us different from both of our parents. It’s possible to take more advantage of your positive mutations than you ever have before. Can you guess what they are? Try to, because you’re primed to tap in to their potential.

she says, is “the commitment to experiencing a little or a lot of bliss every day.” Be a blissciple, because it will put you in sync with the effervescent invitations the cosmos has scheduled for you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

There are 19 words in English with no perfect rhymes including cusp, glimpsed, depth, rhythm, gulf and opus. You’re on the cusp of a shift in your rhythm that will take you out of your depth, compelling you to close the gulf between you and a resource that will be crucial for you to have access to in the future. You’ve glimpsed what needs to be done — the creation of a new opus.

“An awakened Aries would rather err on the side of making a daring, improvisational mistake than cuddle up with passionless peace,” writes astrologer Hunter Reynolds. Make sure your motivations are pure and humble. If the daring improvisation you launch is fueled by arrogance or the urge to dominate, your efforts will fail.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Strenuously avoid the book “Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person Without Actually Improving Yourself.” You need to actually become a better person in the coming weeks, not just pretend you are.

The Jerusalem Syndrome is a temporary psychological phenomenon in which travelers who visit Jerusalem become obsessed with religious themes or experience delusions that they are characters from stories in the Bible or Koran. You will soon have some intense spiritual stirrings. Stay well-grounded.

In 2009, John Allwood, an Australian melon-picker, used his head to smash 47 watermelons in 60 seconds. That broke the previous world record, also set by him. You’re primed to outstrip a personal best you achieved some time back. It’s a perfect time to use your head in fun ways.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

You can find for sale at etsy.com a stuffed feral goat fashioned to resemble a unicorn and fake tapeworms that are spray-

“Everything is unique,” said the 19thcentury authors the Goncourt brothers. Be more intensely aware of this in the coming days. You’ll be wide-awake to the novel pleasures that are possible when you appreciate the fact that everything changes all the time.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul,” said environmentalist Edward Abbey. The “ruin” doesn’t happen all of a sudden; rather, it’s the result of longrunning laziness or passivity — a consistent inability to do what one’s passions demand. If there is this tendency in your make-up, shed it. You simply must carry out your soul’s mandates.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Every one of us is born with up to

40 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

My Pisces friend Rana Satori Stewart coined some new words. “Blissipline,”

9/11. It was beautiful. 11. Speaking of the UGA game, we took The Kids to their first game day in Athens last weekend. That might have been the first time I’ve had entire Coke without first dumping some out to make room for the bourbon. 12. Speaking of bourbon, I laughed when the obnoxious screaming girl slipped off of the bleachers (oh STOP. she was fine). Your bulldog temporary tattoo was precious, sweetie, but yelling “let’s go defense” when Georgia has the ball is a dead giveaway that you really have no clue. 13. I love that the Oxford comma is back in style. 14. I had to have two pretend cell phone, err, smartphone, conversations at the grocery store today. I either need to perfect the art of small talk or pick a different grocery store. 15. There really isn’t anything better than fall in Georgia. Football is the deal breaker between spring and fall. If you complain about this weather, you have a heart of stone.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

painted fettucine. Your skill as an creator will soon be peaking, as will your capacity for marketing the unique aspects of your style.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) “Specialization is for insects,” said science fiction writer Robert Heinlein. “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, pitch manure, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently.” Try to add some new talents.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) A veterinarian in Nashville was asked to diagnose and treat a wounded whooping crane. Experts advised him to wear a billowy white suit so the wild bird would accept his attention. “You learn very quickly how to communicate dressed as a marshmallow,” the vet said. You, too, may face a prospect that resembles interspecies conversation. I hope you’ll be as adaptable.

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Thursday, September 15 Live Music

French Market Grille West Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground The Jeremy Graham Band Malibu Jack’s Marilyn Adcock Mellow Mushroom Bryan Robinson One Hundred Laurens Kenny George Rose Hill Stables Preston & Weston Surrey Tavern Sibling String Wild Wing Joe Olds and the Smokin Joe Band The Willcox Four Cats in the Doghouse

What’s Tonight?

Cadillac’s Karaoke Casa Blanca Thursday Tango Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Candy Stripers Cabaret

Villa Europa Karaoke with Just Ben Wooden Barrel ’80s Night Karaoke

Friday, September 16 Live Music

Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruise w/ Paul Roberts Fresh Music All Stars Country Club Joe Stevenson Coyote’s Jason Sturgeon Doubletree Hotel 3 Sides of Jazz French Market Grille West Doc Easton Imperial Theatre Marty Stuart and His Fabulous Superlatives Joe’s Underground Mama Says One Hundred Laurens John Kolbeck The Playground The Atom Blondes Polo Tavern Robbie Ducey Band Somewhere In Augusta Daddy Grace Stillwater Tap Room The Whiskey Gentry

Iron Horse Bar & Grill Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge Caribbean Night with DJ Spud Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke Palmetto Tavern DJ Tim Rebeck’s Hideaway Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe Karaoke with Steve Chappel Sky City Fresh Sounds w/ Various DJs Somewhere in Augusta Footloose Dance Party Soul Bar ’80s Night Tropicabana Latin Friday Wheels Live DJ Wooden Barrel Karaoke Contest

Saturday, September 17 Live Music

The Acoustic Coffeehouse Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Blue Sky Kitchen Joel Cruz, Travis Shaw Country Club Michael Stacey Band Coyote’s Jason Sturgeon Joe’s Underground The Atom Blondes P.I. Bar and Grill Not Gaddy Polo Tavern Jim Fisher Band Surrey Tavern Perfect Picture Wild Wing Grahams Number

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia The Highlander Butt Naked Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) Karaoke Pizza Joint, Evans DJ Kris Fisher The Playground Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s Karaoke Sky City Open Mic Night Somewhere in Augusta Karaoke with Charles Soul Bar Boom Box V. 22 | NO. 56

Sundrees Urban Market Young Lions Surrey Tavern Tony Williams and Blues Express Wild Wing Mad Margritt The Willcox Kenny George

What’s Tonight?

Cadillac’s DJ Tim Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Cocktails Lounge Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke

Cadillac’s DJ Rana Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Cocktails Lounge Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge Reggae Night with Island Vybez The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke One Hundred Laurens DJ Kenny Ray The Playground DJ Fugi Sky City Saturday Night Live Tropicabana Salsa Saturday Wheels Live DJ Wooden Barrel Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, September 18 Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro Buzz and Candice Iron Horse Electric Voodoo P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Wild Wing Jason Marcum

What’s Tonight?

Caribbean Soul Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke, Salsa Dancing

Monday, September 19 Live Music Soul Bar Metal Monday

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) Trivia Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Malibu Jack’s Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Somewhere In Augusta Poker Tourney Wild Wing Trivia and Karaoke

Tuesday, September 20 Live Music

Cocktails Lounge Live Music Joe’s Underground Happy Bones Wild Wing Dave & Michael The Willcox Hal Shreck

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Dart League The Highlander Open Mic Night Iron Horse Chippendale’s Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Somewhere in Augusta Trivia with Charles

Wednesday, September 21 Live Music 209 on the River Smooth Grooves Joe’s Underground Sibling String Wild Wing Causey Effect The Willcox Hal Shreck

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos Santoni’s Satin Dolls Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Cocktails Lounge Augusta’s Got Talent The Cotton Patch Trivia and Tunes with Cliff Bennett Laura’s Backyard Tavern Karaoke The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Place on Broad Jazz DJ The Playground Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern Karaoke with Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta The Comedy METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 45

EARDRUM

Superchunk’s McCaughan visits Augusta during Westobou Stak

“Majesty Shredding.” I felt pretty strongly that this may be been my last chance to ever again see the full band perform live. I could go on for pages about all of the things that make Superchunk a great band; besides being tighter than Dick’s hatband, they are the masters being frenetic while still delivering a great big rock ‘n’ roll drenched hook. Much of the credit for that goes to lead singer/ songwriter Mac McCaughan. With a unique voice for rock ‘n’ roll and a keen ear Mac McCaughan for the mingling of melody and poetic expression, Mac I was in Atlanta this past Thursday to has consistently delivered art within a see Superchunk, one of my longstanding medium (especially where the punk rock favorite bands. Having been a fan of elements are concerned) which has at Superchunk since the mid ’90s, it was times been rightfully criticized for being important to me to see the band live hot devoid of art. off the release of their great full-length

Aside from forming Merge Records (along with Chunk bassist Laura Ballance) in the early ’90s under the simple assumption that they would have more artistic control in putting out Superchunk records, Mac McCaughan has gone on to participate in multiple collaborations with like-minded artists, as well as using Merge as an outlet for his other projects such as Portastic. Along the way, Merge has gathered a respectable roster of artists they’ve made more available to the world. Not the least of those is Arcade Fire, who recently won a Grammy for their latest record “Suburbs.” The take-home point from all of that is this: Mac McCaughan has gone from DIY provocateur to something much greater. His work to this point is worthy of any serious music fans respect. Luckily for those of us living here in Augusta there is more. Thursday, September 29, at Sacred Heart Cultural Center, film and music

as art will collide as a grand jewel in this year’s Westobou lineup. Mac McCaughan will collaborate with the production company Semi-Precious to bring the premiere of a once-in-a-lifetime event. McCaughan will come to town with the sole intent of lending a musical score to some groundbreaking films by surrealist auteur Maya Deren. What might one expect from such an experience? Something beautiful. What makes that most remarkable is hearing snippets of this music when compared to the early Superchunk record “No Pocky For Kitty.” It is my sincere belief that someone who was a fan of that early Chunk record will be just as enamored of this new project in question. And for those of you who don’t know a thing about Superchunk, no matter… you’ll love this. Approach this with an open mind, you’ll be better for it.

hug. So far so good. She then said she looked at our website and was excited about playing our room. Feeling much better now. We walked to our porch area and started looking around at all Serena Ryder the different things that make Downstairs Live unique. I could tell by her reaction that I worried for nothing, and she was totally fine with the whole “playing in a basement” thing. How cool is that? This girl is a music superstar in Canada, was a feature performer at the 2008 Juno Awards, and she was now getting ready to play a basement in South Carolina... and she was excited about it. That makes her so awesome! I had only been around Serena for a few minutes, but that’s all it took. I was hooked, captivated, smitten… whatever you want to call it. Her appreciation for our little venue grew stronger as she stepped inside our music room. There is a vibe that emanates from that room that cannot

be described or explained… only experienced. I’ve tried to describe it to agents and managers over the years, but words don’t do it justice. Everyone who has ever entered it has felt it. So when Serena finally made her way through the door, she looked around and became overwhelmed. She kept saying, “I’m in love with this place… it inspires me.” Her appreciation was amplified even more an hour later as she did her sound check and discovered the amazing acoustics of our room. The mojo was now flowing and we were all set for another great music memory from Downstairs Live. When Serena took the stage that night, her passion, candor and talent amazed everyone in the room. She showed 90 Americans why she was a superstar in our neighboring Canada. To see some video of her performance, go to YouTube and search Serena Ryder, Downstairs Live. Another great live video is from the Handlebar in Greenville, S.C. Search Serena Ryder, Live in South Carolina, Part I & II.” If you are interested in buying her music, I suggest her CD titled “Is It OK.”

Best Music Never Heard Chuck Williams

There I was, 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning surfing through iTunes, riding one of those “listeners also bought” waves. My eyes had grown heavy and I vowed that this would be my last click before turning in, when suddenly I heard it… one of the most distinct vocals ever. That’s the moment I discovered the amazing Serena Ryder, a Canadian sensation and three-time Juno Award winner (Canada’s Grammy), but virtually unknown in the U.S. The next day I checked out her website and discovered just how successful she was up in Canada. In 2008, Serena won her first Juno Award for Best New Artist. Then in March of 2009, she won another Juno for Best Alternative Album, and was nominated for Artist of the Year, up against people like Bryan Adams and K.D. Lang. In 2009, her song “Sing, Sing” was selected for Music Monday, a special event to highlight music education in Canada which saw nearly two million Canadian schoolchildren singing her song in class. I realized at the time that an artist on that level would not be interested in driving to South Carolina to

46 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

play in someone’s basement, but I didn’t care… I went for it anyway! After looking at her tour schedule, I saw that she had a few days open while near our area; and by the average size of the venues she was playing, I might just have a shot if the stars aligned properly. I sent out an offer, they bit and the rest is history. Serena Ryder played Downstairs Live on June 5, 2009. The day of the show I was sweating, scared as hell, and pacing like a PacMan caught between two ghosts. I was worried that she might show up, realize she was playing in a “house” and then lose interest. When she finally arrived around 4 p.m., she got out of her car, smiled and gave me a good Canadian

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THEDOWNLOAD

Celebrity Playlist: Steve Martin So, asterisk: The latest version of this podcast actually featured Selena Gomez, but I would sooner gargle ghost chili-infused pickle juice than listen to that just-out-of-jailbaitrange Fembot parse out the list of safe, bell-curved songs (no doubt including Michael Jackson and the Beatles) Disney scientists uploaded onto her hard drive after they fused the silicone onto her adamantium bones. It’s a good thing she found out about Justin Bieber’s Steve Martin vagina and dumped him — their unholy union had Vatican assassins working double-time to etch crucifixes into all their bullets. To put this whole thing in perspective, not only did Steve Martin immediately precede this pint-sized harpy in the podcast queue, but other recent guests featured ?uestlove of the Roots, CeeLo, Leon Russell, Dave Grohl, Alice Cooper and a whole mess of other potentially incredible hosts. Gomez stands out in that list like an epileptic Cirque du Soleil performer in a North Korean conga line. Anyway. Not surprisingly, Martin comes across as intelligent, charming and witty. He’s the kind of funny that only settles in 12 minutes after he tells a joke. His playlist is pretty great too, and features a nice range of bluegrass gospel, Irish folk and Americana; Loudon Wainwright III and mountain soul godfather Ralph Stanley are highlighted and heavily, rightfully praised. For this, he gets a pass for “Cheaper by the Dozen” and “The Pink Panther.” Selena Gomez gets a pass to the fourth circle of Hell, where she’s slowly devoured by Pez dispensers bearing her likeness.

BBC Radio 5 Live: Fighting Talk with Colin Murray I started watching ESPN’s Around the Horn when I was working the happy hour shift at Soul Bar (you’re welcome, Augusta). Since a good many of you apparently have qualms about drinking before sundown, I often had a lot of free time on my hands, along with a limited selection of channels on the old TV we had at that point, and it was either “Mind of Mencia” or this crap. So, here’s ATH in a nutshell: A panel of four sportswriters discuss a list of semi-newsworthy topics, while a moderator awards and deducts points based on how many scarab beetles escape from the panelists’ buttholes while they’re talking. It’s like “The McLaughlin Group” meets “Whose Line Is it Anyway?” meets “Call of Cthulhu.” These catty, leathery automatons spew so much bulls*** that the ATH studio is legally zoned as both a sewage treatment facility and a pun cemetery. Fighting Talk is like this, but British, so somehow infinitely classier and more charming. Still, though, astute listeners will recognize this as something akin to goldplated gallstones: painful and worthless, but of value to bored, crazy people. This week the topic is, not surprisingly, the Rugby World Cup, which they sort of discuss when not making Kenny Loggins jokes or inexplicably playing Christmas music. Arbitrary points and Manchester accents abound. Danger Zone!

Josh Ruffin is a published journalist and poet, who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most unintimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 47

CUISCENEINE With a Twist

Laid-back New Orleans and Upscale NYC meet in Augusta at the Cotton Patch and the City Club

One, from its courtyard to its motto, appears to have been picked up from New Orleans’ French Quarter and plopped down on Augusta’s Riverwalk. The other “looks like a brownstone dropped right of out New York City.” Both the Cotton Patch and the City Club are owned by Bryan Mitchell, who says his restaurant and rental facility each offer something different. “The Cotton Patch has a cool little vibe, but the City Club is our opportunity to play dress up,” he explained. “It is a very elegant space.” The Cotton Patch opened in 1990 and Mitchell and his brother came on as investors a year later. In late 2000, they bought it outright. His brother is no longer with the restaurant, but Mitchell continues to helm the place he first visited shortly after it opened nearly 21 years ago. “The reason we invested in it in the first place was my wife and I, right after we got married, came out here and sat on the patio, right about where we’re sitting right now, and just had a great time,” he said. “That’s when I fell in love with the Cotton Patch and I was pleased to be able to buy it with my brother later on.” Indeed it’s difficult not to fall in love with the restaurant’s patio, with its wrought-iron details, greenery, fountain and combination of brick and coral stucco walls. The fact that the area reminds so many of a certain New Orleans institution is no accident. “This patio area was inspired by Pat O’Brien’s in New Orleans,” he said of the spot that made the drink the Hurricane famous. “A lot of the details were intentional. My wife and I owned an antique store for a long time, so we’ve always been into that, and I’ve always really been into architectural antiques.” Mitchell has a long history in the restaurant business; in fact, managing

48 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

Houstons in Atlanta and the Chi-Chi’s Augusta location (where Outback Steakhouse is now) is what first brought him to town. When his company asked him to move back to Virginia, he politely declined. “I fell in love with the town. I was tired of moving and that’s when I got out of the restaurant business, so I could stay in Augusta,” he said. “I left the restaurant business in ’93 and started working in publishing. That’s when my daughter [a freshman at UGA] was born and I wanted to see what normal people did.” For 10 years Mitchell was the general manager of Augusta Magazine, finally leaving in 2003 so he could more fully concentrate on the Cotton Patch. He continues to have a hand in the publishing business, however, creating custom magazines and holiday catalogs for jewelers across the country, including Windsor Fine Jewelers here in Augusta. And if that wasn’t enough, Mitchell acquired the City Club in 2007. A total accident, he said it ended up working to his advantage. “I wanted to have a 50th birthday party, but I didn’t want to shut down the Cotton Patch,” he explained. “At the time, it was vacant and my landlord said I could use that for my party. I’ve always been in love with the building. I think it’s the classiest restaurant in this town. It’s just a beautiful space.” During the middle of Mitchell’s milestone birthday party, he said his landlord approached him and asked if he’d lease the space. “I wasn’t really interested in opening another restaurant, but I couldn’t resist,” he said. “And we’d had a lot of requests here [the Cotton Patch] for large parties, but we couldn’t really do them here because the space is too chopped up. The Cotton Patch is our No. 1 concern and the City Club is a nice facility to have in addition to the Cotton Patch.” So Mitchell decided to run the City

Club as a rental facility. Since then it has become a popular spot for corporate parties, wedding rehearsal dinners, reunions and, of course, company Christmas parties. “It’s really elegant and the way it’s laid out is really great for those types of events,” he said. “It’s got a big copper bar, brick walls, heart pine herringbone floors, lots of leaded glass and dentil molding.” Mitchell said he and new General Manager Bo Handy are in the middle of preparing for the upcoming holiday season, which always begins revving up at about this time. “We still have a lot of dates open in December,” he said. “The City Club will seat 150. For a cocktail reception and that type of thing, it’ll hold 250275 people.” The larger kitchen at the City Club affords Mitchell, Handy and their staff to branch out a little bit from Cotton Patch favorites such as the Rancho Potatoes, Charleston Chicken, Stuffed Tilapia, Murder burgers and the Southern-style lunches they’ve become known for. “We can certainly do anything we do over here over there, but we can also do a sit-down dinner with filet mignon and lobster,” he said. “Or if they want a casual buffet with barbecue and a Lowcountry boil, we can do that, too.” And now with Handy, who has about 20 years worth of experience at TBonz, on board, Mitchell predicts a greater emphasis on red meat. Handy agrees. “I’d like to do some different things,” Handy admitted. “I’d like to see a filet and Prime Rib on that menu, but I’d also like to offer more entrée salads and some fresh fruit as a side. There are

plenty of fried items and sandwiches on the menu, so I’d like to beef it up a little bit.” Mitchell is quick to assure patrons that the aspects of The Cotton Patch that they’ve come to know and love — Ms. Delores’ macaroni and cheese (“so good you’ll throw rocks at everybody else’s, and you can quote me on that,” Mitchell says), the “Eat, Drink, Be Happy” motto, the Cold Beer Makes You Smarter T-shirts, Wednesday night trivia, and weekend entertainment on the patio — won’t change. The evolving nature of the restaurant business means that customers may notice some unexpected additions. All of the changes, however, will be in keeping with the restaurant’s focus. “I was in Athens a couple of weeks ago and I went in this burger joint. They had a peanut butter and bacon burger on the menu and I thought that was so Southern, so don’t be surprised if we add that soon, along with fried turkey of some sort,” Mitchell laughed. “I like to take the classics and add something to them and make them our own. Our focus is on Lowcountry comfort food with a twist. A wicked twist.” The Cotton Patch 816 Cotton Lane 706-724-4511 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Monday-Thursday; 11 a.m.-11 p.m., Friday-Saturday; noon-9 p.m., Sunday; bar open late every night The City Club 724 Broad Street 706-849-4171 Available for rent for private parties eatdrinkbehappy.com

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INMUSIC

Ice-T’s new documentary is surprisingly not about his wife

Another night of rock music, another success for the Augusta rock music scene. Kudos goes out to Steve Hall Productions for bringing in another great show with Adelita’s Way, Emphatic and Eye Empire to Sky City. With 95 Rock doing most of their promotions through Facebook, it proves that there are people in Augusta itching for live music. Sixteenounce PBRs for $2.50 also helps. The rumor mill is churning right now and I hear we may have a huge concert to announce soon, one that doesn’t include cowboy hats, a pickup truck and chewing tobacco. Just let it go. Guns and Roses, or should I say “fat, hair-braided Axl Rose and some other guys,” have announced an American tour kicking off in October. After the huge success of “Chinese Democracy” — insert sarcasm here — I’m sure the tour will go smoothly and will be highly CoCo attended. And if you have some dream of Slash joining Axl on stage for at least one song, you better wake up. A great quote from Axl back in 2009 when referring to Slash; “In a nutshell, personally I consider him a cancer and better removed, the less anyone heard of him or his supporters the better.” Crack is whack. Ice-T premiered his VH1 Documentary about crack and hip-hop over the weekend, appropriately titled, “Planet Rock: The Story of Hip Hop and the Crack Generation.” And yes, it’s awesome. Ice-T has to be one the best voice-over actors out there, along with the likes of Morgan Freeman and Alec Baldwin. Have you seen the ones he does on HBO about hookers? Well, that’s a little different. Head to VH1.com for a sweet preview. Oh Nickelback. The band is set to release their seventh studio album. These Canadians just won’t stop. In a world where we can’t have Guns N’ Roses, Oasis or Rage Against the Machine, we have Nickelback. Pick up the new album, “Here and Now,” in November. New albums in stores, some good, some bad. After releasing a country album, Aaron Lewis has gotten back to his roots and actually started to play rock music again with his band Staind. Gavin Rossdale took time off from his insanely hot wife, Gwen Stefani, to put out a new Bush album titled “The Sea of Memories.” Should have put a little bit more work into the title, but the album is pretty solid. And Augusta’s own Lady Antebellum released “Own the Night.” I get I look like the guy in the band. Not that guy, the other one. The one that could be replaced. Yeah, that one. It does help with the ladies. What shows am I missing locally? Let me know, shoot an email over to matt@themetrospirit.com.

Matt Stone — can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.

50 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

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METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11 51

ONTHEBALL

Matt Lane is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-Talk-Sports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at Mattlane_wrdw.

Looking good

C.J. Williams looks great on the field after cancer scare I’m pretty sure if Fox Creek had any inspirational quotes or messages posted around the locker room or weight room, they’ve surely been replaced by 8x10s of a familiar face by now. Rarely do teams have courage personified in their own locker room as the Predators do in senior C.J. Williams. A couple of weeks ago Williams was scheduled for his first round of chemotherapy to treat a lump on his neck that he noticed after his team’s first game. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, better known by its first name: cancer. After arriving for treatment, Williams was told that there had been a misdiagnosis and he’d be able to return to the game and to the friends he cherishes so much. And return he did, garnering a crucial fourth-quarter interception against a driving Wagener-Salley squad, who owned the turnover battle in the first half before watching quarterback Marty Williams dominate the second half with touchdown runs of 69, 2 and 84 yards and get the 32-13 win at Lions Field. In Columbia County, Augusta Christian stayed undefeated on the year with a 27- 21 win over rival Ben Lippen. A spirited performance from sophomore Thomas Banks saw him score all the points for AC, and not just from the running back position (28 carries 161 yds. 3 TDs), but also on special teams with a 88-yard kickoff return for a touchdown. For a Lions team that has its share of upperclassmen playmakers, it’s got to be reassuring for Coach Keith Walton to have another viable option to go along with in their balanced attack. Evans got back on the winning track with a 28-13 win over Glenn Hills. They have proven to be a very coachable, versatile bunch of gamers this year already. With starting running back Stephon Jacobs banged up with a shoulder injury, the Knights had senior receiver/defensive back Myles McDavid take snaps out of the “Wildcat” set, and got a defensive score — McDavid’s 60-yard fumble return for touchdown — to go along with Eddie Johnson’s ultra-efficient (7/8 119 yards; 6 rushes for 65 yards) quarterback play. This group is making the most of their talent each and every week. They continue to find ways to stay in it and let their solid defense dictate the game. They remind me of Grovetown’s Boys Basketball team from last year. Their final record won’t be indicative of how well they played together and had to force square pegs in round holes at times. To have only glanced at the score of the exciting Thursday night matchup between Lakeside and North Augusta, you wouldn’t really have a clue as to how the game was played. In no time at all, a 14-14 tie quickly turned into a 38-22 defeat the worst way possible. It was a game completely decided by turnovers, as North Augusta had six takeaways from Lakeside — really seven as Lakeside muffed a punt as well — and scored off those accordingly. Mark Weidenaar threw five interceptions, including two apiece to Devontez Rouse and Devon Grimes, who took one back for a touchdown, and never could get settled against the Yellow Jacket defense. The silver lining in this for Lakeside is in the play of running back Johnathon Long (113 yards rushing, including 79 in the first half), who emerged as a solid runner for the Panthers.

52 METRO SPIRIT 9.15.11

Games to Watch

Burke County @ Lowndes County: Friday, September 16, 7:30 p.m. A favorite in AAA heads to a AAAAA powerhouse. Plain and simple, Burke County Head Coach Eric Parker will play anyone. Home or away. Lakeside@Northside-WarnerRobbins:Saturday,September17,7:30p.m. Over the next two weeks, Lakeside (1-2) plays the No. 2 and No. 3 ranked teams in AAAA. The first opponent, No. 2 ranked Northside-Warner Robbins, is coming off a bye week. Gulp. Thomson @ Washington County: Friday, September 16, 7:30 p.m. Two weeks ago, Thomson proved they could win a shootout with a 57-39 win over Lakeside. WACO spent their bye week fuming over their close call with No. 3 ranked Statesboro (AAAA). Great match up between two Top-10 teams.

College/NFL Games to Watch

Coastal Carolina @ UGA: Saturday, September 17, 1 p.m., pay-per-view The Dawgs are 0-2 for the first time since 1996 and look to get their first win of the year against the Chanticleers (SHON-ti-clears). Heading to Athens is the newfound CSRA Connection with junior QB Aramis Hillary, a Strom Thurmond product, and sophomore WR Matt Hazel, a former North Augusta Yellow Jacket. The two have shown great chemistry together, even hooking up for a 52-yard TD pass last week in a 20-3 win against Catawba. Tennessee @ Florida: Saturday, September 17, 3:30 p.m., CBS Great rivalry. Plenty of offense in this one as the pro-style Gators looked primed to make a run at the SEC East division. Tennessee’s Tyler Bray (34-of-41 for 405 yards and four touchdowns against Cincinnati last week) leads his band of sophomore offensive studs (receivers Da’Rick Rogers and Justin Hunter) to Gainesville looking to steal a win.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Atlanta Falcons: Sunday, September 18, 8:20 p.m., NBC If you don’t understand the significance of this game, I’ll defer to ATL native, T.I. for this one: “You don’t understand English, homeboy.” I’m done talkin’.

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ADVICEGODDESS

Fraud Prince

When my boyfriend moved across the country to Manhattan for two years, we pledged we’d be faithful. We talk and text daily, and he tells me he loves me and that I’m the only person for him. Well, my best girlfriend visited her brother, my boyfriend’s roommate, and returned with some real fun facts: Last year, my boyfriend became obsessed with some girl and got into an “open relationship” with her — all year. He claims only she slept with others; he didn’t. Yeah, right. He also insists he only slept with her once and didn’t tell me because he didn’t think I could handle the truth. That’s ridiculous because he knows honesty is everything to me. I now feel I have reason to leave him. Still, I’m 24, he’s my first boyfriend, and we’ve been together for four years, so I’m reluctant to end it. Please give me a silver lining to this dark cloud over my head! — Last Straw Sorry, but this cloud’s lining isn’t silver; it’s cheap polyester with one of those “remove under penalty of law” tags: WARNING! Boyfriend with scruples of spandex has relocated to the North American capital of hot women — “The City That Never Sleeps” (except when people roll over after sex instead of smoking a cigarette or having a cuddle). For some, a wake-up call is a gentle nudge or the delicate tinkle of a fine watch; others need to be bludgeoned over the head with an alarm clock. In case you’re wondering, you’re in the sound sleepers group. In our email exchange, you revealed that in addition to a number of friends warning you about your boyfriend, a complete stranger who spotted you with him in a bar took you aside to hint that he had zipper issues. In red flag terms, this is a call to start shopping for an Eiffel Tower-sized flagpole. Although women typically stick with dirtbag boyfriends out of a lack of self-respect, your problem seems to be an excess of respect for The Relationship. Okay, he’s your first boyfriend and you’ve been together for four years. This is merely interpersonal census data, not reason to stick around to be lied to and cheated on for another four years. To this day, your boyfriend shows you that his words are suspect anytime he says anything weightier than “pass the Cheerios.” In fact, he may be in Manhattan, but the old joke about the Hollywood agent applies: “Hello,” he lied. What you need isn’t a silver lining, but a diving pool of louse shampoo. You also need to understand that boyfriends who are liars and cheaters go for girlfriends who put up with lying and cheating. If you want honesty, don’t swallow lies like they’ve been buttered, and don’t let wanting a man to be ethical get in the way of looking to see whether he actually is. You might also take a more realistic approach to human nature. The 20s are our prime rutting time. Send any 20-something man off for two years, and unless he’s on a solo mission to Mars, you’d better ask him to supplement his daily “ur the only 1!” texts with a webcam so you can see the girl he isn’t sleeping with in the background, motioning him to get back into bed.

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Vulture Shock

My boyfriend dumped me, and I’m besieged with inquiries about how I’m handling it, both from friends and people who don’t care about me and just want to pry. How do I field questions from the latter without getting into a lot of discussion? — Exhausted Without gossip, people would have to sit around talking about particle physics, the economic downturn and what’s going on in Libya. Gnawing on your life is much more fun: “Yeah, they broke up, and she’s alone, and I counted 62 empty pork rind bags and 73 beer bottles in her trash.” Recognize that you have no obligation to feed the info vultures, and plan in advance exactly how you won’t be answering their questions. However you decide to shut them down — with humor, vagueness, wild invention or deflection (“Finehowareyou?!”) — keep responding that way until they get the message that it’s all the message they’re gonna get. Preserving your emotional energy means you can channel it where you need it most — into working your way through the “Seven Stages of Grief”: 1. Drunk dialing; 2. Watching “Law & Order” reruns; 3. Looking up elementary school boyfriends on Facebook; 4. And then not writing them; 5. Tearing pages from “Chicken Soup for the Soul” and lighting them on fire; 6. Putting on shadow puppet shows of brutal murders; 7. Making hangup calls at 3 a.m. to nosy buggers who ask you prying questions about your breakup. ©2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email adviceamy@aol.com. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon’s book: “I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society” (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

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AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Beazley’s Passing Recalls Bygone Days This week’s passing of long-time Richmond County Elections Director Linda Beazley and the fact that she was widely regarded as brilliant by those who knew her is quite ironic when compared to the lesser adjectives thrown much and often at many of today’s local bureaucrats. Ironic in the sense that to even be asked to submit a resume these days for any managerial position of consequence in Augusta government, a four-year college degree is virtually mandatory, and much higher education (masters degrees and higher) is usually preferred. Linda Beazley, described by many as one of the most astute experts on the subject of Georgia elections, came to public service straight out of high school in 1957. No college degree, no tech school training, not even a trip to secretarial school. After stints in clerical positions in both the Richmond County sheriff’s office and probate courts, she was selected the county’s first elections director in 1973. It was a position she held until 1993, when she was “drafted” to become

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the replacement for ousted Richmond County Administrator Robert Dixon. If you think current Augusta Administrator Fred Russell has it bad, imagine how bad it must have been for Dixon, who did not have anyone in the pre-consolidation county government who cared to stick up for him, even for a minute. But that story will have to wait for another day. Beazley came into the position to handle people, while Charles Dillard was given the task of supervising many of the technical areas of county business, dividing up the duties that Dixon held alone. It was a great move, one that Dixon did not think needed to be made (he was wrong) and I have been told by many that the combination of the two made up the perfect administrator. The consolidation of AugustaRichmond County governments in the mid ’90s was supposed to make municipal business operate much smoother, and much smarter, but no Augusta city administrator was ever as successful at handling people as Linda Beazley. If I had to say what made Linda as

good as she was at all she did, I would say it would be a good old-fashioned combination of common sense, hard work and her willingness to look you dead in the eye and tell you to go to Hell if you deserved it. She did not have to do that too often, but I saw her do it enough to know she could. One thing is certain: She would not have been fool enough to give large pay raises to certain top-level county employees while many others were getting furloughed. I also doubt seriously she would fail to document the shortcomings of certain important subordinates. Such are recent welldocumented mistakes that cost taxpayers several hundred thousand dollars. Paying lawsuit settlements to clearly inferior, underperforming personnel should have gotten the current guy booted a long, long time ago. According to his official bio, embattled Augusta Administrator Fred Russell has a masters of science in criminal justice from Nova University and a bachelors of science from Virginia Tech. He also attended the FBI National Academy.

Impressive... but Russell may want to look up the curriculum followed by the Richmond Academy Class of 1957. Whatever Linda Beazley picked up in that group was clearly superior to anything he ever ran across. Columnist’s note: I usually don’t take the time to respond in print to the often misguided critiques thrown my way in the Whine Line, but after last week, I couldn’t resist. First, on the misspelling of the word “whither,” what can I tell you, I screwed up. I used to have a copy editors at the Spirit needlessly obsessed with political correctness, now I have one who allows me to hang myself, regardless of the type of mistakes I make. I prefer the latter over the former. (Love ya, Amy!) And to the folks who somehow think my protest over the lack of a severance package for recently canned TV weatherman Matt Monroe signals that I am some sort of pro-labor closet socialist... oh, please. Get a clue. You are comparing apples to orangutans. A severance package for a departing veteran employee who has served a company with honor is not, and should not be, mandatory. But it is good manners, and it is good business.

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