Metro Spirit 10.18.2012

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Contributors ributors James Jamees Allen|Greg Baker|Rob Baker er|Rob Brezsny|Sam am Eifling |Matt Lane Lane|Austin ne|Austin Rhodes|Jo Rhodes|Josh Josh Ruffin|Andy Sto Stokes|Matt tokes|Matt Stone|Je Stone|Jenny Jenny Wright

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

Metro Spirit piritt is a free nnewspaper published publisheed weekly on Thursday, Thursd sday, 52 weeks a yea year. ar. Editorial coverage ge includes local issues issu sues and news, arts, s, entertainment, peo people, eople, places and apppear views from ac cross the political and an social spectrum.. The views do not necessarily n represen ent the views of thee ppublisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.Š events. In our paper appear across represent Publisher: Joe White. e. Legal: Phillip Scotttt Hibbard. Reproduc ction or use without ut permission is proh hibited. One copy per peer person, please.

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CONTENTS

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WHINELINE

commented in the prior metro spirit about Roundtree turning Get it right people. Faith is God the sheriff office BLACK if elected. It obviously shows your inspired. (especially for people who believe in God & Lord Jesus lack of political education as well as your ignorant demeanor Christ in Heaven) Religions & in that stupid remark; and then others are Satan and humantrying to pass it off like you are man inspired. a black person - we know you “Justice� Augusta Judicial Circuit- are not a black person - moron!! style: “Rich folks pay with their What a disappointment. I money while pofolks pay with recently relocated here from their time.� Right, Ms. Mercer?

Atlanta, where I had the benefit To the racist idiot who

of having a wonderful weekly magazine that informed me on upcoming events and local news.

Here, I find a magazine that despite what the cover story may be, depicts an individual donned in Ku Klux Klan robes.

How despicable. Please, have respect for your diverse readers and use a less controversial image. Regardless, whether Metro Spirit intended it or not, you definitely got some peoples’ attention. Perhaps not the kind

of attention you may want. I, for one, will not open the pages of your magazine again.

I don’t feel that placing a few religious words where someone might read them is any more “forcing� religion on you, than a yard sale sign is “forcing� you to go to the yard sale.

It’s merely a way to put an opinion or a thought out there to inspire those which believe, and food for thought for those

who aren’t sure. re. I thi think it would take a weak, paranoid person to consider this an act of “force�.

Do you often feel compelled to do what signs say to do? If so then who are you gonna vote for, because there’s lots of signs. Are they forcing you to vote for everybody? A word of advice; ignore those signs that say they’ll buy your house for cash, and you can stop looking for that lost dog. (continued on page 54)

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Boshears Skyfest 2012 The 20th Anniversary Air Show Navigating Treatment: Pioneering nurse navigator helps cancer patients maneuver through the system Shotgun Start: An old .410 shotgun tries to hold onto its secrets Reaching the Summit: Augusta hosts stakeholders for bike-friendly communities

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit?

706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

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Does anyone else think it’s funny that Jay’s Music, who makes a boatload of money every year during Masters Week, is leading the charge to “Save Berckmans Road”… from the Augusta National?

High Bid On Tuesday, October 9, Columbia County bigwig George Snelling, a former dentist and a strong financial backer of the cantankerous wing of the local Republican Party (remember how he made buddy buddy with Commissioner Trey Allen with that methadone clinic next door to Allen’s toy store and how he always seems to back the guy Ron Cross ends up trouncing?) was charged with three counts of prescription drug fraud.

Snelling allegedly wrote prescriptions for Valium and Tramadol for an employee of his self-storage business, intending to distribute them to another party.

A pharmacist got suspicious, notified the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office, and Snelling ended up being released on $18,800 bond.

Three days later, Snelling, who’s about as subtle as his mug shot smile, was hobnobbing in the VIP section at the Eddie Money/Starship concert, not a care in the world.

At one point, he even out Crossed Ron by taking the Josh Kelley Stage. Of course, he wasn’t up there taking credit for the park and the amphitheater and the Columbia County way of life. He was up there because he’d bid $3,000 for a guitar signed by Money and Starship, the money going to support breast cancer.

Retiring man that he is, he told everyone that he thought he was bidding on boobies, but said he’d go ahead and take the guitar.

You just can’t hide money.

The little pink playhouse triumphs over the big, bad homeowners association!

Just Politics So Gwen Fulcher Young managed to strike gold by comparing Republican Congressional candidate Lee Anderson to TV’s Honey Boo Boo, a remark that, while amusing, is certainly well off the mark.

Honey Boo Boo talks a lot more than Anderson does.

Still, Fulcher Young has worked that comment with all the dedication of a Silas supporter defending the Road Patrol, taking Paul Broun’s remarkable ideas about religion and wrapping it all up into a Holy Trinity of Embarrassing Southern Stereotypes.

Funny how quickly the evolved forget the evolution.

Husband Bob, who has Republican connections he might not want to discard quite so hastily, simply winked and threw up his hands like husbands of uppity women everywhere, helpless to do anything but watch.

But isn’t it interesting how knotted up the whole thing is? Here’s Gwen, trashing the Republican who beat out Hill neighbor Rick Allen for the chance to run against Democrat John Barrow, when it was Allen that hapless husband Bob endorsed in the runoff. An endorsement, remember, that happened after Bob served as high holy moderator at the final candidate roundtable before the primary.

Usually, those positions are supposed to be impartial, but really — who’s insisting on impartiality these days?

However you look at it, one thing is quite clear — the local Republican Party is lacking an enforcer strong enough to keep people from making public spectacles out of their public spectacles.

Anderson might very well be the Honey Boo Boo of area politics, but he beat out Hill-man Allen, who’s now remarkably claiming to be the victim of the whole primary bloodbath, and that means there are people out there who support him, and who knows — down the road they might be worth something to some candidate.

Something for people of all political persuasions to worry about, though — if a well-placed Honey Boo Boo jab vaults the likes of Fulcher Young back into the spotlight, there’s no telling who might be bouncing back into the news.

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Bikini Bottom R US Only in Augusta could anything as corrupt as the TEE Center occur, they say.

Absolutely nowhere else in the United States, from sea to shining sea and then some, could a parking deck and convention center be built that involved such complicated and dubious legal maneuvering.

Augusta is the most corrupt city in the lower 48, bar none, and it’s simply amazing that the national media hasn’t come here and exposed our overflowing nest of evildoers for what they really are — by God, there are a few rich people getting richer every day off the backs of hard-working taxpayers, and the fat cats doing business with city government just come out ahead every damn time.

The Outraged Class is really feeling it now, what with the whole TEE Center catering contract deal regaining center stage, and it’s almost hard not to be moved by all their righteous hyperbole. That’s not to say there’s nothing wrong with the catering contract. Obviously, it needs to be fairly and seriously scrutinized to make sure that the city is getting the best deal it can. The public should demand no less.

BUT. To be of the opinion that Augusta is the most corrupt city in the entire United States of America‌ and have those words come out of your mouth and not be challenged by people who are a little, shall we say, less naïve, is an embarrassment. Have you chicken littles ever, ever heard of, say, Louisiana? Illinois?

Alabama? New York? New Jersey? Thank goodness we are being protected from losing a few sheckles by the self appointed do-gooders‌ but get it together, people.

Settle down and take yourselves a little less seriously. Augusta is pretty much just like hundreds, if not thousands, of other towns across the lower 48.

Of course there are issues with the contracts between Billy and the city — always have been, always will be. His group pushes for the very best deal they can get, which is why they’re continually around year after year, pushing. But you lose so much credibility with such outrageous pronunciations. It’s business as usual. Glad to have you paying attention now. But remember, every town has its own Krusty Krab. It’s own Chum Bucket. It’s own Mr. Crabs. It’s own Plankton. And a few Spongebobs and Patricks. (And for you Republicans out there‌ I’m afraid there are more Sandys around than you’re aware of.) Don’t panic. Just keep paying attention and leave the hyperbole to TMZ.

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We Interrupt Your Locally Scheduled Programming A much-needed election break to talk about really good (and bad) horror movies As I’ve pointed out before, the timing of the Metro Spirit’s street date can create some problems for the content of this column. My deadline is somewhere between Monday night and Tuesday morning — depending on how many men are punching each other in the head on television that weekend — so anything that happens between Tuesday and Thursday is pretty much a black hole when it comes these pages: too late to include in that week’s column, too far back to relevantly include in next week’s.

I’ve made some exceptions — this cycle’s first presidential debate — but even then, other people have already said pretty much everything I want to say, and probably better.

And look, it’s not like nothing politically relevant has happened these last few days. There’s fodder aplenty: during a debate in which Joe Biden absolutely ate Paul Ryan for breakfast, the GOP vice-presidential hopeful had the balls to say that he and Romney were willing to strive for “bipartisan solutions” in Congress, which is such a hilariously blatant lie, every computer at the factcheck.org offices shorted out from all the stupefied drool.

Romney, meanwhile, accused Obama on being soft on China, while Romney benefits from outsourcing jobs to — wait for it — China. So… there’s that. While we’re on the topic, Republicans, you’d better not wait too long after this election to reveal that you were really orchestrating some epic, Andy Kaufman-level cultural troll job, or history will not be kind to you.

Anyway, this column falls into a similar deadspot. We just wrapped up one debate, but another one falls on the day this column is due. Because of that, I feel no remorse in ordering you to watch certain horror films this Halloween. I mean, you can probably find some political subtext to it (“Josh hates popular, big-budget horror films because socialism”), but I wouldn’t recommend it. Serial killers have a sixth sense for stupid, and they’ve run out of babysitters in basements.

1. “The Cabin in the Woods” (Director, Drew Goddard; CoWriter/Producer, Joss Whedon) This magnificent son of a bitch just came out on DVD and Blu-Ray, so if you haven’t seen it, stop what you’re f***ing doing and go buy it. Don’t even bother with Netflix. Just spend 25 of your hard-earned dollars on it, as doing so will — spoiler alert — appease the Ancient Ones, and will undo most of the bad karma you’ve earned by going to see a “Saw” movie each of the past six years.

What It’s About: Without giving too much away, a few college-age friends take a trip out to a remote cabin, where boobs and murder ensue. If the plot seems tired and derivative, that’s because the filmmakers intended it.

The whole of slasher film convention is offered up here for dissection, for justification, and the results are thoughtprovoking, hilarious and often downright scary in and of

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METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

themselves.

Why You Should See It: Joss Whedon. Pre-“Thor” Chris Hemsworth. Oscar-nominated Richard Jenkins. Emmynominated and “Billy Madison” alum Bradley Whitford. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS?!

2. “House of the Devil” (Director, Ti West) West has been slowly making his name in horror circles over the past decade or so with a handful of shorts, but this is the film that kick-started the hype. Combining all the best elements of Hitchcock, Carpenter and the occult, they really don’t make films like this anymore. Except for this one.

What It’s About: A tale as old as time — girl agrees to babysit at stupidly creepy house for a suspiciously large fee, girl hears noises upstairs, girl investigates, oh my god why is that old woman wearing a goat mask.

Why You Should See It: Like “The Cabin in the Woods,” “House of the Devil” transcends what modern audiences know as conventional horror. Unlike “Cabin,” however, West’s film succeeds in its ability to fully embody and make newly terrifying the stereotypes that Whedon’s baby takes so much care to lampoon. And though the film is rife with jump-scares and expertly wrought tension, it’s the sympathetic, believable characters inhabiting this film that imbue it with such finely tuned terror and grace.

3. “Werewolf” (Mystery Science Theater) I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that humanity reached its cultural zenith with “Mystery Science Theater,” and we’ve just been trying to increase the drag on the plummet since.

In case you don’t know, the show involves two robots (Crow and Tom Servo) and their creator Joel (in later seasons, Mike) being forced to watch terrible sci-fi as an experiment by bored mad scientists. To stave off insanity, they take to riffing on and making fun of the movie, in an undertaking not dissimilar to what the Metro Spirit pays me to do.

What It’s About: Digging in the Arizon desert, a team of archaeologists unearths a strange skeleton, and I won’t insult your intelligence here by telling you what it is. One of the workers is scratched by it and turns into, judging by the mask he wears in the movie, an unholy hybrid of a fruit bat and a ferret. The production values are insanely low; there are films from 1982 about chlamydia that have better pacing.

Why You Should See It: I’ve watched every single episode of MST3K at least eight times, and this is easily the funniest.

There’s insult fodder aplenty: a vaguely European female lead who pronounces “werewolf” every way but the right one (“worwelf,” “warwilf,” “wehrwalf”), overwrought dialogue, and a storyline that’s more seizure than plot. If you have Netflix, you have no reason to not get this.

4. “Bubba Ho-Tep” (Starring Bruce Campbell, and that’s all you need to know) I don’t know what combination of Anne Rice novels, Mad Libs and meth author Joe R. Lansdale was on when he wrote the award-winning novella this movie is based on, but the man apparently knows how to cut a line. Ostensibly, endearingly low-budget and borderline family friendly, it’s actually suitable for most 16-and-over crowds.

What It’s About: (deep breath) In the present day, Elvis (Bruce Campbell) and black JFK (Ossie Davis) team up at a backwater Texas nursing home to battle a decrepit mummy that has taken to harvesting the souls of the home’s residents.

Why You Should See It: Did you even read that? Every plot element is scientifically nuttier than anything Paul Broun and the makers of “Loose Change” could come up with after an all-night Mountain Dew and menthols session. And yet, it works. Campbell’s Elvis is not just one of the funnier, spot-on interpretations of the King, but one of the most honest and respectful, and Davis’ JFK is a subtle show-stealer with some real dialogue gems: JFK: Lyndon Johnson sent someone to finish me off! I think it may have been Johnson himself!

Elvis: Uh, Jack, President Johnson’s dead.

JFK: S**t, that ain’t gonna stop him.

5. “The Horde” (Directors, Yannick Dahan and Benjamin Rocher) Without knowing much of anything about it, I clicked play on this film during a late-night Netflix exploration, and it was the best baseless choice I made since I decided to go to grad school.

What It’s About: A hardcore team of cops, out for vengeance in the name of a fallen comrade, launch an attack on a drug lord holed up in a dilapidated housing project. The mission goes awry, they’re captured, when suddenly… zombies!

Why You Should See It: Unlike some of the other films on the list, this one is refreshingly, deliciously uncomplicated.

These people need to get out of the building, but about 16 floors of undead stand in their way, so they mow them down in increasingly devastating, genius ways. It’s like all the best parts of “The Raid,” “Dredd 3D” and “Dawn of the Dead” injected with synthetic testosterone and grain alcohol.

As an aside, I’d like to thank my editors for indulging me on this column. Next week, I’ll be back to calling Tea Partiers racist.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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AUSTIN RHODES

TEE Center Deal Won’t Fly in Current Form Despite the protests of well-meaning Super District 10 Commissioner Grady Smith, unless drastic changes are made in the contract Augusta Riverfront LLC has proposed to run the TEE Center, it is dead in the water.

“We’ve got a chance to shine in January and put our best foot forward,” Smith said.

“We’re letting a few negative people spoil the show.” (Augusta Chronicle 10-16-2012) A few negative people? I can almost guarantee that Smith would not willingly sign such a confusing and complicated document in his personal business life, particularly not with a 15-year “lock” built in to it.

The massively expensive and complicated contract has been a point of contention for months, and when it was presented for final consideration last Tuesday it was clear that most of the commissioners present wanted no part of it, in its current form.

Much has been written and said about the “sweetheart” aspects of the deal, which is I suppose were almost to be expected from a project that was sold to taxpayers as a $25 million facility, but ballooned to more than $50 million when all was said and done five years later.

Community activists Al Gray and Brad Owens were joined on my radio show this week by former mayoral candidate Bonnie Ruben in highlighting many troubling points about the long-term contract, which of course was presented for the commissioner’s approval by Augusta Riverfront LLC frontman Paul Simon. Ruben called the contract “One of the worst deals in the history of American government”...

Gray is a cost recovery expert who has spent a very long and successful career chasing down bad deals and auditing contracts and projects to track waste, fraud and correct expensive loopholes.

When he attempted a few months back to comment on the bizarre nature of the Tee Center deal, Mayor Deke Copenhaver naively questioned his credentials. Let me share a few lines from Gray’s corporate website, which I have vetted through testimonials of others in his field: “Cost Recovery Works, Inc. is committed to providing clients with superior returns by offering proactive project auditing and controls methods geared to reduce project costs, project tax accounting programs designed to minimize state sales and use taxes, cost recovery reviews for projects which are underway or have been completed, and rapid

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close-out reviews to gain maximum rewards to clients using the performance based fees.”

Go to costrecoveryworks.com and see the rest of it yourself.

Aside from the impressive track record and professional accomplishments, the man is something of a local legend among Augusta area outdoorsmen, and oddly, real estate investor types.

He is one of the few people I know who has challenged “less than favorable” property zoning decisions and development restrictions imposed by Columbia County leaders, and prevailed.

That aside, above all else he is an expert in his chosen profession.

If Gray has studied a deal, and declares it to be suspect, you can bet your last damn dollar it is suspect. If the mayor had used his common sense, he could have researched the guy instead of scoffing at him, and perhaps we would be far closer to getting a reasonable deal in place than we are now.

What needs to happen now? The city needs to hire an expert in such deals (I hear Al Gray may be available), and hammer out the troublesome aspects of the Tee Center contract, paragraph by paragraph, before it is presented again for consideration.

As history has shown us, it accomplishes nothing to present such a complex deal to 10 elected officials who have no formal training in such matters, and who up to this point have been depending on inept city administrators and attorneys to interpret the fine print.

Get Al Gray, or someone “like Al Gray,” who is astute and experienced in these matters, to act as the city’s agent, and let them haggle over the arrangement sentence by sentence if need be.

And say what you want about the “Band of Merry Men” working with Al to get the word out on this mess via the citystink.net website and their Augusta Today Facebook page, but the bottom line is they were right, and the naysayers and TEE Center apologists were wrong, and they have been since this entire fiasco started.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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ERICJOHNSON

Navigating Treatment

Pioneering nurse navigator helps cancer patients maneuver through the system

As breast cancer navigator at GHSU’s Cancer Center, Nicole Aenchbacher’s goal is to make sure every breast cancer patient’s journey is as smooth as possible, starting from the very beginning.

“My job on the front end is to help these patients get access to our system in a timely fashion,” she says. “So they can call me — or if they have a physician they’re seeing elsewhere, they can be referred — and I can get them an appointment usually within a week or two of the phone call, depending on exactly what’s going on.”

The process starts with the multidisciplinary clinic, where their case is evaluated by every physician that’s part of the treatment team, which could potentially include a surgeon, a medical oncologist and a radiation oncologist. After the patient sees the first physician, they break for conference, where the first physician presents the patient and explains what’s going on. From there, everyone else on the team weighs in — the surgeon says what kind of surgery is recommended, the medical oncologist

Shotgun Start

cancer. In 2005, President Bush signed a healthcare act that earmarked funding for patient navigator programs. Nationally, about 50 navigator programs were started with this funding, most dealing with breast cancer, though now hospitals are deciding to implement navigators with other cancer types as well as other types of disease processes.

Before navigators, a lot of different people were involved in the management of a patient’s treatment, each doing a little bit of something, but not necessarily working cohesively. Often, the onus was on the patient to be the common link, which wasn’t necessarily the most effective way and certainly added stress to the patient at a time when it wasn’t needed.

Last year, GHSU had 156 new breast cancer patients who were diagnosed and treated there.

Depending on the stage of the cancer and the type of treatment, breast cancer patients can remain in the system between three months and a year and a Nicole Aenchbacher half.

Now that the navigator program has expanded, puts in his or her opinion regarding chemotherapy Aenchbacher feels a special satisfaction. and the radiation oncologist says what radiation “It’s very exciting,” she says. “And it’s nice to have options might be available. some help, because although I wasn’t involved “When they walk out the door, they have in the other cancer subtypes, I was expected to a treatment plan and they have all of their participate in certain things because they needed appointments set up until the next step scheduled a navigator represented. Now that there are other for them,” she says.

In the end, the team comes up with the plan and it’s navigators, I can delegate those things so I’m not at a gazillion meetings all day long.” up to Aenchbacher to carry out the plan and make Her efforts aren’t just limited to coordinating health sure everyone stays on track, the patient as well as issues, however. the physicians.

“If you call me and you’ve got complaints of nausea Though the breast cancer navigator program has been in place at GHSU for approximately five years, and vomiting — I can take that ball and run with it,” she says. “But if you need transportation, money they implemented the navigator concept in nine other cancer sites last March, so while Aenchbacher for your medicine or they’re going to cut off your electricity, I can get you with somebody quickly to continues to be the breast cancer navigator, she’s help you out.” also the nurse manager for the entire navigator And while the navigator program was initially program.

Patient navigation was started in 1989 by Dr. Harold developed to help the underserved, it’s now there for everyone to use.

Freeman, who at the time was the president of “Am I more involved with patients who are the American Cancer Society. He saw a need for underserved?” she asks. “Yes, but probably just underserved people in the Harlem, New York, because they have more needs than patients who area who were victims of healthcare disparities, have insurance and patients who have a good so he started the navigator program in order to support systems.” target that specific population, starting with breast

ERICJOHNSON

An old .410 shotgun tries to hold onto its secrets Not everything Lisa Landis inherited she’s found useful. Like that .410 shotgun she got when her father died. She appreciated the fact that her grandfather had given it to her father when he was 12, but really — what was she going to do with a shotgun?

Her father, who grew up on Wrightsboro Road in Augusta back when Wrightsboro Road was in the country, kept the gun his entire life, and though 8

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Landis doesn’t remember him ever shooting it, she feels sure he shot it with her grandfather when he was young. “I think it was a father/son bonding thing,� she says.

When her father, Charles, died in 2002, she gave the gun to her uncle, who remembered it right away. “He said, ‘Charles almost killed me with that gun one time,’� she says. “My father was playing with it and shot a hole in the wall of the house, coming very close to hitting my uncle.�

Just a few months ago her uncle died, and the gun came back to her. “I’ll be honest — I’m not really a gun girl,� she says. “When I got it back, I just didn’t have the appreciation for it that I thought other gentlemen would have, so I sold it to Friedman’s.�

Friedman’s Jewelers, which has recently expanded its service to include the buying and selling of firearms and antiquities, researched the gun, which offered few clues other than the fact that it was built by N.R. Davis and Sons in

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So Chris Leopard, an experienced firearms dealer and collector, went to work.

First, he consulted the Blue Book of Gun Values, which is sort of the Bible of the gun world. There, he learned N.R. Davis and Sons, which was owned by Warner Arms, merged with Crescent Fire Arms in 1929.

With that as an endpoint, he then knew the gun had to have been built before 1929, which meshes with Landis’ story. Her father was born in 1917 and received the gun on his 12th birthday, which would have been in 1929.

Leopard enjoys the detective work that comes with tracking down a gun’s history. “It’s just interesting to me� he says. “I had a firearms business for over 10 years, and I’ve been around firearms most of my life.�

At Friedman’s, he deals with everything from antique guns to the latest hightech weapons.

According to the Blue Book, Landis’ .410 was worth about $160. It would have been worth more, but the wood stock was well worn and it was missing a butt plate. “Mechanically, it’s 100 percent,� Leopard says. “It locks up tight and I wouldn’t have any problem shooting this gun. I’ve cleaned it and the bore looks smooth.�

He says he’s glad the wood is in as good a condition as it is, because he can’t find any parts for it. “If anything broke on this gun, you’d probably have to get a machinist to manufacture it.�

Though Landis is happy the gun stayed in the family as long as it did, she says she didn’t feel she had the proper appreciation for it to keep it, and Friedman’s offered her an alternative to the traditional gun shop. “I hated to go into a store of guns and be as inept with guns and gun history as I am,� she says.

Leopard says the gun itself wasn’t necessarily worth buying — there are plenty of .410s on the market — but the age and its relative rarity made it attractive. “I wouldn’t normally have bought it, but the owner (Windsor Jewelers owner Donnie Thompson) says that if it’s got some historical value to it, let’s go ahead and buy it and try to fix it up and put it back on the shelf,� he says. “People like old guns, and they’ll be interested in it.�

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ERICJOHNSON

Boshears Skyfest 2012 The 20th Anniversary Air Show

Celebrating its 20th anniversary, the organizers of Boshears Skyfest 2012 have brought together an exciting and varied group of performers and planes to make this year’s air show particularly special.

Gates open at 9 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday, October 20 and 21, with the opening ceremony beginning at 1:45 p.m. both days. Prices are $15 in advance (advanced tickets available at all area Circle K stores and at Augusta Aviation) or $18 at the gate. Military with a valid I.D. get in for $10 at the gate. Children 12 and under get in free when accompanied by an adult.

As usual, the show will feature skydivers, aerobatics, helicopter rides, radio-controlled models, a parachute team, carnival rides, precision formation flying and, of course, a history tent.

In other words, there’s something for everyone, including these highlighted acts.

Gary Ward

GARY WARD — LOCAL DAZZLE

Gary Ward, an acclaimed air show pilot based out of nearby Lincolnton, has a special connection to Daniel Field and Boshears Skyfest. Not only did he learn to fly at Daniel Field, one of Boshears’ namesake brothers, Forrest, sent him off on his first solo flight. Much later, Forrest’s nephew, Buster, who was once the field’s manager, helped him get certain certifications.

“I’ve known those people for many, many years,” Ward says.

Though he’s flown since he was 15, Ward didn’t take up aerobatics until the mid-1990s.

“A lot of people think it’s probably a midlife crisis, but I’ve always had the Need for Speed gene,” he says.

He was 57 years old when he flew his first air show in 1998. That makes him 71 today, though he looks and acts more like someone in his 50s.

“I had to beg, borrow and steal to get into air shows,” he says. “When you’re a newbie, people want to stay away from you until they know what you can do.

Basically, they want to make sure you’re safe.”

And that takes time. Because of the waiver system instituted by the FAA, no one starts off flying air show routines right down to the ground no matter how good they are. At first, air show pilots are given an artificial hard deck of 800 feet. They re-qualify after a certain number of air shows so that deck can be lowered to 500 12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

feet, then 250. Eventually, they can qualify for surface level flight.

“It’s tough,” he says. “There are a lot of hoops to jump through.”

It took Ward two years to get his surface waiver, and though he says most people can fly a really good performance at 250 feet, the surface waiver allows him to do a few things crowds have come to expect.

“You don’t do too many hardcore aerobatics below 250 feet, but it does allow me to take off and immediately roll upside down 20 feet off the runway,” he says. “It also allows me to dive back at the runway, go right down the runway and then pull back up into a maneuver.”

Though he can do hair-raising stuff like that — and he does it consistently at over 20 air shows a season, from Acapulco to Anchorage — he won’t be doing it at Boshears, because Boshears has an FAA mandated 400foot hard deck due to the fact that it’s an in-city airfield.

“They say it’s in the name of safety, but every air show pilot will tell you it’s less safe,” Ward grumbles.

“It’s something that was imposed on it many years ago, and we can’t get them to change it.”

More than an annoyance, it’s also a distraction, and air show pilots don’t like distractions in any of their many forms. Sometimes, the clip that holds the wire to his headset comes undone, causing it to flap around,

and once, when he was flying at Sun n’ Fun, the big Experimental Aircraft Association show in Florida, the little sweat rag he keeps tucked under his leg got loose.

“I took off, rolled inverted and all of a sudden here comes this green rag up in the canopy,” he says. “And here I am going down the runway upside down 20 feet off the ground trying to grab this rag.”

Artificially imposed hard decks are distractions because the pilots do so much of their flying by feel.

“We don’t look at our altimeters,” he says. “That’s a distraction that takes away from our concentration.”

Obviously, anything that takes away from a stunt pilot’s concentration can be deadly.

“Crashes happen way too often,” he says. “I’ve lost a lot of people that I know, and almost every one was due to some kind of pilot error. Most of the time they stayed in a maneuver too long or did one extra roll coming down.”

Though aerobatic flying seems like a very precise form of flying, one glance inside Ward’s cockpit shows that though it might be precise, it’s far from calibrated.

“I don’t have any instrumentation except for an altimeter and an airspeed indicator,” he says. “When I’m flying directly toward the ground, I am looking only at the ground.”

Outside of the big screen that serves as his engine monitor, the only other things in the cockpit are a stick, rudder pedals, a throttle, the propeller and mixture controls and a piece of paper taped to the dashboard with green masking tape detailing the nine- to 10-minute routine he’s flying.

So in spite of the danger and the speed and the Gs — he can pull up to 10 positive Gs and around 5 negative Gs — deciding when to pull up from a dive that leaves him just feet above the ground is done totally by touch and feel. And unlike some pilots, who start rounding off the dive, Ward prides himself for nosing straight in.

He says it gives the audience a bigger thrill, because viewers will anticipate whatever line the pilot is making.

With a curved line, the viewer will anticipate close success; with a straight line, the viewer anticipates certain disaster.

“But you’ve got to be careful,” Ward says. “You can stall it like that and you can smack it into the ground, so you’ve got to know the airplane.”

In Ward’s case, the airplane is an MX2, a custombuilt, carbon-fiber monoplane with a 24-foot wingspan and an empty weight of just 1,307 pounds. It’s one of just 25 ever built.

“I think I’ve got the best one,” he says. “It’s an airplane that’s comfortable and has a long range. Flying from here to Houston, Texas, is nothing.”

When you’re a professional air show pilot, that kind of comfort is important. Though an air show routine lasts no more than 12 minutes, sometimes he’s got to cover a lot of ground to get there.

Ward has a degree in aerospace engineering from Georgia Tech, but only worked in the industry for a year before coming back to work for the family’s sawmill. He continued flying, though, and once he caught the aerobatic bug, he was all in for the highspeed craziness air show audiences love, especially the tumbles and spins that have become his specialty.

“These are all pretty much out of control maneuvers 18OCTOBER2012

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and they’re not exactly predictable on the way that they end up,� he says. “So you want to be comfortable doing them low in case you come out on your back or in a spin or something like that.�

Though starting a maneuver without knowing exactly how it’s going to end seems like the definition of crazy, for Ward it’s just another day in the office.

FLAGSHIP DETROIT — AN AMERICAN CLASSIC FLAGSHIP DETROIT

One of the most historic participants in this year’s Boshears Skyfest is the Flagship Detroit, the oldest flying DC-3 in the world.

The goal of the group formed to preserve it is to operate the aircraft as a historically accurate example of the American Airlines fleet of Flagship airliners, which flew from 1936 to 1947. “We did a lot of research to get it right,� says George Dennis, executive director of the nonprofit Flagship Detroit Foundation. “We had the advantage of a lot of references at the C.R. Smith Museum, which is a nonprofit museum all about American Airlines. They had a huge archive, so we were able to get everything exactly as it came out of the factory in Santa Monica in 1937.�

Not only is the outside paint authentic to the period, so is the inside. “We had already purchased the seats,� Dennis says. “They were already dated 1937, so we had a bunch of volunteers take all our seats — and these volunteers were all American Airlines mechanics in Kansas City — and they re-welded all our seats.

We re-certified them and took them to the upholstery shop and put the same color upholstery that was on them in 1937.�

To complete the historic look, they have a couple of authentic stewardess uniforms and a couple of pilot uniforms, too.

Unlike most DC-3s, the Flagship Detroit did not see service in WWII, though 60 of American’s 85 DC-3s did.

When planes came back from the war they could have up to 80,000 miles on them.

More than 60 years later, the Flagship Detroit only has about 48,000.

After its service with American, the plane was sold to the president of Mexico, who flew it for nine or 10 years back in the 1950s. It was then sold to a corporate entity and then to a company that used it as a fruit fly sprayer in California for a year.

The first year the foundation flew the restored plane on the air show circuit, they performed at 51 events. “I’ve never worked so hard in my life,� Dennis says. “These air shows aren’t easy.

You get there at 7 a.m. and they shut it down at 7 p.m. and then you have to do maintenance work and stuff like that. It can be pretty trying, but that’s what keeps bringing me back.�

The plane has a team of about 15, along with a few reserve pilots and a couple of mechanics. “We don’t get anything from American Airlines except for the fact that they let us have a little spot in the 777 maintenance hanger in Dallas,� he says. “They’re very generous with that, but they don’t give us any money unless they hire us to do an event.�

They’ve done several of those in the past, including one in New York for an employee celebrating 70 years with the airline, but given the fact that American filed 18OCTOBER2012

Come in for a tour TODAY!

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METROSPIRIT 13

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for bankruptcy, those events have probably come to an end.

Because plane is owned by the nonprofit foundation, Stewart is allowed to sell memberships to augment the money they make from air shows.

“Our memberships are a $150 initiation fee and then $100 every year after that,” he says. “With that membership, you can fly on the airplane whenever you want to, as long as there’s a seat available.”

After the event for the 70-year employee, who actually worked on the Flagship Detroit back in 1941, they barnstormed all the way to Seattle, making 21 stops along the way.

“On a typical barnstorming stop, we’ll fly over the city kind of low, do a couple of circles around town and it brings out people and we can sell a hat or a T-shirt and, if we’re lucky, a membership,” Dennis says.

At one such stop in Longmont, Colorado, an old man brought them his logbook and showed them that he’d actually flown that very plane — 17334 — several times, carrying First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt.

“That guy is now 93 years old, and he’s still flying,” Dennis says. “We’ve kind of adopted him as our senior pilot.”

Though Dennis flew DC-3s when he was younger, most of the pilots haven’t.

“It’s been a real eye opener for them because they were flying F-4s in the war and every American Airlines jet that came along and then they see this and figure it’s a piece of cake,” he says. “Next thing you know, they realize what an eye opener it can be.”

Though a DC-3 has a stellar reputation as a goodflying, durable aircraft — many are still flying cargo in other parts of the world — the fact that it’s a tail dragger makes it a little tricky for the uninitiated to fly.

When it comes to early airline elegance, though, the Flagship Detroit continues to deliver.

TEAM RV — THE AEROBATIC DOZEN TEAM RV

Mike Stewart, flight lead and founder of Team RV, the world’s largest air show team, loves coming to Boshears Skyfest.

“We actually call Boshears one of our two anchor shows,” he says. “We’ve been doing them for a number of years and they’ve been supporting us for a number of years and have helped us grow our business, so we treat them very special and they treat us very special.”

Besides that, Augusta is a hometown crowd. The 10-year-old precision formation group started in the Atlanta area, and one of the wingmen, Bob Goodman, flew F-15s in the same squadron as Buster Boshears, Jr. The group started with six planes flying local parades and doing some formation flying, but quickly grew, mainly because of the RV series airplanes they fly.

Seven thousand RVs are now flying, and though members of the team fly different models, they all have the same shape and relative size, making the differences difficult to see from the ground. A few were built in the side-by-side configuration, though they prefer to fly the tandem models because they’re easier to fly aerobatics with.

In short, it’s a reliable, economical plane to fly, and Stewart says you couldn’t operate a team as big as Team RV without a plane with those attributes.

Team RV’s claim to fame is its formation aerobatics and precision formation flying, which is extremely difficult to learn and even harder to perfect.

“Flying formation is a slow learning process, because pilots come into this business being trained to stay away from other airplanes,” Stewart says. “So getting them 14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

close to another airplane is unnerving early on.”

On average, it takes a couple of years of training before a pilot is ready to enter the air-show environment.

“We fly just a couple of feet apart, so it’s very tight and very precise,” he says.

Starting out, a wingman will typically stay 20 or 30 feet away from his lead.

“We’ll work on that for a while and gradually work our way into getting into a closer formation,” he says.

“The wingmen are constantly looking at their leads.

They never take their eyes off of them, and they’re constantly maneuvering to stay in position.”

Once the pilots are comfortable flying formation, they’ll start working on solo aerobatics so they can become proficient at that. Then, Stewart will start working them into the formation aerobatic portion of the routine.

Having that many pilots on the team means it’s important that everyone is not only an excellent pilot, but a good, reliable team member, and the fact that they all share something beyond flying makes that bond even greater.

“The fact that we all have a passion for building makes us very unique,” Stewart says. “Because we build our aircraft, we have a lot more trust in the aircraft that we fly.”

The way he describes it, their planes are like custom cars.

“If you want that kind of performance and technology, you have to build your own, and our aircraft are the same way,” he says. “The planes that we

fly — you can’t buy them off a showroom floor, you have to build it in order to get that kind of performance and that kind of reliability.”

Though about a third of the team is made up of pilots who have retired out of the Air Force or the airlines, a few still have day jobs. Stewart himself worked for IBM until just a couple of months ago.

“You could never do this if you didn’t love it,” he says. “And we all love what we do.”

That love, he hopes, is contagious.

“The coolest thing about what we do is that we’re out flying air shows and inspiring young people with aviation and flying, and we’re doing it with airplanes we all built,” he says. “No one else in the history of air shows can ever say that they’ve put 12 aircraft up in an aerobatic box at one time with airplanes that they built themselves.”

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BOSHEARS SKYFEST 2012 20 YEARS MORE THAN AN AIRSHOW

of SAT., OCTOBER 20TH

SUN., OCTOBER 21ST

Worship Service by Reverend Lloyd C. Darby, Ph.D. (Sunday Only) ......................9:00 AM Evans High School boys JROTC drill team presentation (Sunday Only) ................1:30 PM OPENING CEREMONIES..........................................................................................1:45 PM Presentation of Colors on Saturday: Civil Air Patrol Augusta Composite Squadron Presentation of Colors on Sunday: Evans High School JROTC Color Guard Opening Prayer by Deputy Jerry Rhoden Welcome to Boshears by Brad Kyzer, Skyfest Chairman National Anthem by Reverend Lloyd C. Darby, Ph.D. AIRPORT CLOSES......................................................................................................2:00 PM Paratainment Skydiving Club......................................................................................2:00 PM Pitts-12, Greg Connell Aerobatics ..............................................................................2:10 PM Team RV Formations ..................................................................................................2:20 PM MX-2, Gary Ward Aerobatics ......................................................................................2:40 PM Mark Sorenson Comedy Act........................................................................................2:55 PM James Achord Pitts S1S ................................................................................................3:10 PM Cobra Helicopter Act....................................................................................................3:20 PM Jerry McCart Jet Dragster with Gary Ward & Greg Connell ....................................3:35 PM Show Over ....................................................................................................................3:50 PM AIRPORT OPENS ......................................................................................................4:00 PM (Events schedule is the same for both days. Schedule Subject to Change)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20TH ONLY CAR SHOW IS HOSTED BY GASCAR Open to all cars and trucks 25 years and older.

18OCTOBER2012

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ERICJOHNSON

Golden Beginning

Fit to Be Gold competitors start to lose to win The first weigh in for Phase 5 of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge brought out a few grumbles, but mostly smiles as a new batch of competitors battle for $1,000 in cash and the opportunity to be crowned the Fit to Be Gold champion.

While some, like Grady Lee, husband to Phase 4 Champion Chelsie Lee, lost more than 20 pounds, others, like Pam Shivers, lost less than 10.

As a group, however, they lost well over 170 pounds.

Shivers, who started out at 214.4 pounds, said she enjoyed the challenges of establishing a new routine. “And I love my trainer,� she said. “The boot camps they’re doing for us are hard, and Johnny [her trainer] has been doing that boot camp for me on the side for 30 minutes.

I’m pretty strong anyway, but I want to lose weight, so my cardio’s not all that good. It hurts, but I like it.�

Though no stranger to working out, Shivers said this was the first time she’s seen these kinds of results. “Even before this competition I worked out every day,� she said. “But this right here shows you that you’re not really working out until you come here.�

She wanted to lose 15 pounds by the first weigh in, and though she only lost nine, she wasn’t down on herself. “I need to add more protein and take away some carbs,� she said. “That’ll be my plan for the next month, just to see if I lose more.�

Overall, she said, she’s found the competition motivating and fun Antoinette Hart said she’s participated in 12-week challenges at work, but never anything as focused as this. “Everybody just kind of fell off afterward, but this is something that’s going to keep me motivated for a long time,� she said.

An operator at SRS who works outside, she said the most difficult part of the challenge has been the eating. “If we’re out in the field, we can’t take any food out there,â€? she said. “And eating six times a day‌ that’s some serious grazing.â€?

Though she acknowledged missing her caramel mochas and sodas, she said she’s picked up some other, healthier habits. “I gave up a lot of stuff, so I had to keep myself motivated by eating lots of fruits and vegetables,� she said. “I love vegetables, but I was never into the fruit thing, but I love fruit now.�

Physically, she said she’s proud of the fact that she’s gotten to the point where she can work out twice a day, six days a week, though sometimes her new sense of activity confuses her co-workers. “I think people at work might think that I’m a little off right now because I can’t sit for very long,� she said. “I’ll go outside and do some jumping jacks or something. I just feel like I have to keep moving.�

While it might have been hard to pick out the hardnosed competitors after just one weigh in, the fact that only four have dropped out means that no lead is safe, something emphasized by Charles McNeil, who had lost a lot of weight until he got tripped up by lasagna last Saturday night. “Don’t go out to the golf course with a bunch of drinkers who have to eat pasta, pasta and more pasta when you’re a pasta guy,� he said.

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18OCTOBER2012

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GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Staying Sane

In an airport, it isn’t easy but it can be done Emergency trips out of town are never fun. But that’s where we find our hero this week, walking amongst the 50 million people traveling through Hartsfield International on Sunday night. I’m not one who has to live as a hermit to maintain my sanity, but some crowds generate too much stress.

Sunday in the Atlanta airport is one of situations.

Fortunately, there is one place you can always find a bit of solace when the crowds become too thick. And so your hero sits in his 3’ x 8’ stall, quietly regaining his wits. If they only didn’t make the toilet paper so darn thin…

Time to venture out. First of all, it’s almost time for the flight. Secondly, my stomach is signaling that it needs attention. Typically, I eat light when flying, usually a small TCBY will keep everything on an even keel for the two-hour flight. Checking the concourse directory, it looks like a Ben & Jerry is the best we could do. Oh wait, it’s three concourses away. Time for plan B. So what’s close?

As an aside, have you ever noticed the number of kiosks in the airport? It seems that you can get anything via a drive-by purchase. Most of the kiosks are staffed, but a growing number are fully automated. For example the Best Buy kiosk contains any gadget accessory that you would typically leave at home. This trip, I saw a couple of new kiosks that probably won’t make it. While I admire the ingenuity, I cannot envision the set of circumstances that would lead me to purchase unattended kiosk sushi.

BTW – I’ve decided that moms like to travel. With kids. Sometimes, with a lot of kids.

God bless the mom who has to move her 9-, 5- and 3-year-old from Atlanta to who knows where. My wife and I used to transport our twin girls when they were younger, and every kid under 5 needs at least two adults to travel: one to supervise the kids and one to keep the first adult calm. Frankly, I don’t know how these moms navigate a Sunday night at Hartsfield. Maybe Jenny can explain it to me sometime.

Running out of options, your hero swings by a Starbucks, grabbing a sweet roll and Sprite for dinner. Off to the gate! Last minute, sporadic travelers don’t often enjoy the seat selection of the road warriors. Not surprisingly, I find myself in the last row sitting next to… you guessed it… a proud mom, her 1-year-old and three duffel bags of baby support gear. (I assume she was traveling light.) No worries. After all, I have twins.

Tuning out a singleton for a couple of hours should be a piece of cake.

So I open up my laptop and connect to the onboard Wi-Fi, Delta’s Go-Go Air network. At first, the connection was looking pretty good. The speed test was consistently providing 256 kbps up and down, plenty enough to support a single remote desktop or published application. The connectivity must be splotty, though. (Yes, I meant to say splotty.) RDP sessions kept hanging, and downloads of any length simply stopped after a while. Ultimately, I had to resort to downloading documents and edit local. But it sure was nice to stay up on email and browse the web while in the air.

Go-Go Air Tip No. 1 — Check the different price plans and flight availability. When you buy the ticket, Delta pushes the all-day internet pass for $12. As it turns out, you can purchase single-leg passes for $5 each. Go-Go is not available on every flight, so you might do considerably better buying individual instead of all-day passes.

So I know you’re wondering, what happened with the baby? Well, your hero had the pleasure to sit next to one of the cutest, most well-behaved little girls ever encountered.

The only incident occurred while I was deep in thought. Out of nowhere a sippy cup flew across the aisle, landing on my MacBook Air and splattering baby goo all over the keyboard. While this may have upset some, your hero possesses the secret knowledge that baby goo comes from the same stuff that forms fairy dust, cupcake sparkles and Pegasus ponies. Namely, love.

Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker.

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

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SPACE INVASION

By Zoe Wheeler / Edited by Will Shortz

Barber’s job Accepted as true Wrap up Rushed 1992 Liv Ullmann film Be constructive?

Hangs out Some Millers Strainers Tellies Like wide belts, fashionwise Rat Brand name on a waistband Took off, as a bird Bathroom fixture Striped safari sight Brutus abettor Move up, as an eyebrow Christian of “The Dark Knight Rises” 66 Providing of questions for Down answers on “Jeopardy!,” e.g.

1 Lump in the throat 69 Vladimir of Russia 2 Dancer Ginger 71 Fit 3 Of ___ (somewhat) 72 Comprising 4 People wear masks in this: Abbr.

73 Use a futuristic mode of transit 5 Sticking point?

74 Golf round result 6 Field 75 Frozen food brand 7 Kick the bucket 76 Illustrator’s shortcut 8 Basketball shooting game 77 Good place to 91-Across 9 Playground retort 78 ___-my-thumb 10 Caught 81 Lights up 11 Summer hrs. in Denver 82 Some herbs 12 Challenging 83 Remnants 13 Sufficient 84 Something to milk for all its 14 Runner’s unit worth?

15 Good “Wheel” buy for WHERE’S 86 Be admitted THE BEEF 87 Head-___ 16 Refined 88 Rodeo rope 17 Authorize 89 Bad feeling in the pit of one’s 18 Salon worker stomach?

19 Third of three choices 90 ___ latte 24 Going (for) 92 Actress Mazar 27 “Penny ___” 93 Sports car option 31 Last ride?

96 Eastern drama 32 Actor Claude of “Lobo” 33 Alma mater of presidents #41, 42 97 Things used during crunch time?

99 Christmas purchase and 43 36 Moundsman Dave 37 Deep ravine 38 Get excited 39 Shrew 40 College in New Rochelle, N.Y. 80 81 82 85 86 87 91 92 93 94

1998 Sarah McLachlan hit Alone, as a female on stage A/C meas.

Fort ___, Ontario Feds ID for a certain band member?

Go out for a while?

Show, quickly Jump on the ice “___ Child” (Margaret Atwood poem) 95 Earth, in “Independence Day”?

98 ___ hours 100 Kind of exercise 101 Infant’s shoe 102 One rummaging 103 Take a fresh look at 104 “… Baby One More Time” singer 105 Lock

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36

53

75

13

21

32

47

74

7

27

38 43

PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Downer, for short 6 Big break 12 Something to seek in court 19 ___ pork (Asian dish) 20 Did ordinary writing 21 Renowned 22 Namibia neighbor 23 Old AMC car that came fully loaded?

25 Belgian river to the North Sea 26 Minnesota Fats’s player in “The Hustler” 28 Writer Ernie 29 Before, in brief 30 Good locale for adoptions?

32 Play to ___ 33 Mysterious figure 34 Windy City trains 35 Berlin article 36 Scrape 37 Highlanders 38 Trim 39 Ammo that’s still on the store shelf?

43 ___ Khan (villain in “The Jungle Book”) 45 Getting on the board 46 Root word?

47 Pitchers 48 Nuts 49 Director Jean-___ Godard 50 Orch. section 53 Some bleating?

55 Little victory celebration 57 Dying words, in Shakespeare 58 “Put ___ on it!”

59 It may be drawn at night 60 For fear that 61 Salsa ingredient 63 Excitement over some presidential selections?

67 Gumshoe 68 Gold units: Abbr.

69 Many-banded displays?

70 Have a loan from 71 “Shallow ___” (Jack Black film) 72 He-man’s nickname 73 Bind tightly 74 Avoid a scalping?

78 Sackcloth material 79 “Grease” singer

T H O M

H O N E

N I G H T I E S

O B I T C H I A

A T A Y N A H O O

E G A P M A G E T R O L S R E A B A G I T E S D A R E Z M O S L E O S E L E N T R A N S E E S C A C R D W A R E E L E E B I D E N E R L E D G O O D O R N A G E R G R E S S

A L E R T E D

C A R B M E N

S A M I O O A N I C S E C A R N A G S

99

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Paying ying It It Forw Forward ard Pa FUND TO HONOR JORDAN WHITE STILL ACCEPTING DONATIONS

AmyChristian|production directorarts editor amy@themetrospirit.com GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com AmberKuhn|sales manager amber@themetrospirit.com GayleBryan|account executive metroaugustaparent@gmail.com BrendaCarter|account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com ValerieErmerick|writer

OCTOBER 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

COVER DESIGN | GABRIEL VEGA

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.Š 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

CONTENTS

short stuff 04 CONNECTING WITH YOUR PRE-TEEN, WONDERFUL PEANUT BUTTER AND MORE fear factor 06 FUN ALTERNATIVES TO HALLOWEEN FRIGHTS family calendar 07 FALL FESTIVITIES FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY functional, fashionable 13 TOO MUCH STUFF TURNS AMERICAN DREAM INTO NIGHTMARE latchkey kid 14 SOME THINGS ARE SIMPLE... IF YOU ALLOW THEM TO BE

Thousands of dollars have already been raised to create a youth arts outreach program in memory of 19-year-old Jordan Elizabeth White, and donations are still being accepted.

Jordan, daughter of Metro Spirit Publisher Joe White, died Thursday, September 13, from injuries she sustained in a car wreck the previous night.

To make a donation to the fund, please send a check to the Hibbard Law Firm, 205 Pitcarin Way, Augusta, GA 30909.

METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

3

shortSTUFF STAYING CONNECTED YOUR PRETEEN MIGHT ACT LIKE HE HATES YOU, BUT IT’S ALL AN ACT

The kids are back in school and spending most of their time away from home and family. Between school, clubs, sports, friends and other activities, preteens are always on the go. Sometimes we parents aren’t really relating to our kids even when we’re spending time together. It’s easy for us to get so caught up in the chaos that we lose sight of enjoying, talking, listening and connecting with our kids.

It is more important than ever to connect with our pre-adolescent and adolescent children. It is during these years when they are looking for guidance to potentially life-altering topics. They are beginning to form their own values and beliefs. Before leaving elementary school, kids need and want to talk to their parents. Preteens long for guidance from their parents and they do value their parents’ opinions, judgement, and most of all, their example.

Preteens and young teens want you to really know them as individuals. Kids want to be accepted for who they are and for what they will become. They want to know what you think about difficult issues such as smoking, drugs, drinking, and sex. Kids will have questions and they want answers from you, their parents. Even when it seems like they aren’t listening to you, they are. You are the greatest influence in the lives of your children. Here are some ideas on staying connected and really relating with your child.

USE TIME WISELY

Many adolescents feel their families don’t listen or understand them. There is a definite relationship between adolescents who make poor choices and those who have poor communication with their parents.

Family time should be cherished. It seems that parents and young teens are going in opposite directions most of time. After all the basic needs are met, homework is done and the activities are completed, there is little time for fun and time spent interacting together. Reducing time spent together may even seem like a natural consequence of working parents and busy family life.

Make the most out of small and simple moments with your kids. Get to know your kids. Don’t just make assumptions about their perceptions, accomplishments, needs and desires.

Select activities and outings with your kids where talking and listening can take place. Television and movies may be helpful if they will act as a springboard for conversation. Don’t miss out on these chances.

Sharing an after-school snack or meal, folding laundry or cooking can be perfect opportunities for conversation. Whenever and wherever you’re alone and relaxed with your preteen, can be a great chance to relate and connect.

4

METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

WHAT TO SAY

Have the courage to bring up tough topics with your growing child. Talk to your kids about the consequences of harmful choices. Ask your kids if anyone has ever approached them about smoking or using illegal drugs. Let your kids know how you feel about them using these substances. Resist getting angry if your child tells you they’ve already tried something harmful. Teach your kids about the dangers of tobacco, alcohol, drugs, weapons and sex. They need to know the facts from you. Remind them frequently that they can come to you anytime with a problem or just to talk.

Be receptive and listen.

Present open-ended questions to your preteen. What did you and your friends do at the party (concert, or game)? Who was there? What did you do in English class today? How do you feel about kids smoking (using drugs, alcohol, having sex)? What do you think you would do in that situation? What grade do you feel you deserved on that project? What did you learn from this experience? How did you feel when your friend (teacher, coach, crush) didn’t include you? How do you feel about lying (cheating)? Is there something you’d like to tell me or ask me? Try to avoid statements or questions that may make your child respond in a single word answer that may inhibit conservation.

By presenting open-ended questions to your kids, you’ll get to know what they’re thinking, doing and feeling. You’ll also have a chance to tell them how you feel about certain important subjects. Remind them that you were once their age. You can share experiences of your youth if you think it will help your child grow and learn.

BE POSITIVE

Preteens and teenagers still need the guidance and support from their parents to gain the skills necessary to make healthy choices. The best tool parents can give adolescents is healthy self-esteem. Self-confidence and healthy self-esteem are fostered by open and positive communication between parent and child.

By staying connected with your kids and being a positive role model, you’ll provide your kids with the tools they need to arm themselves for peer pressure and negative influences. They will be prepared to face and handle tough situations they are bound to encounter during the middle- and high-school years.

Peanut Butter Pinwheels Spread peanut butter and a little bit of honey on a flour tortilla. Sprinkle with granola and/or raisins if desired. Roll up the tortilla, then slice it into bitesized pinwheels.

Peanut Butter Shake

Blend two tablespoons of creamy peanut butter, two cups of milk and two large sliced bananas.

Makes two shakes.

Stir fry with Thai Peanut Sauce

This is a terrific, easy dinner recipe that will encourage even the pickiest kids to eat their vegetables.

Older kids can even prepare the peanut sauce for you.

1 lb. skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into strips 8 oz. package of frozen stir-fry vegetables 1 Tbsp. cooking oil 2 Tbsp. water Thai Peanut Sauce (recipe below) Heat oil in large skillet. Add chicken and cook until no longer pink. Add frozen vegetables and water. Cover and cook on medium heat until vegetables are heated (7-10 minutes). In the meantime, prepare peanut sauce. Add sauce to skillet and stir to coat meat and vegetables evenly and heat sauce (approximately one minute). Serve hot over rice.

Thai Peanut Sauce 2 tbsp. creamy peanut butter 2 tbsp. rice wine vinegar 2 tbsp. soy sauce 1 tbsp. brown sugar 1 tsp. garlic powder 1/8 tsp. ground ginger pinch of red pepper (or more to taste) Combine all ingredients and stir until creamy.

Makes 4 servings.

metr o SPIRI T METRO AUGUSTA PARENT |OCTOBER 2012

Food Court It’s estimated that the average kid in this country will consume 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by high school graduation. If that much PB&J sounds a little too dull, give the two lunchbox staples some much-needed time apart by pairing your peanut butter with one of these, instead: raisins honey syrup a cored apple (fill it with peanut butter for a lunchbox treat.) banana (Elvis’ personal favorite—he’d literally hollow out a loaf of bread and fill it with the combo. Some connoisseurs swear that adding mayonnaise to banana-side of the bread keeps the peanut butter from sticking to the roof of your mouth. I’ll just take their word for it…) marshmallow fluff

An Ode to Peanut Butter As legend goes, in 1890, a St. Louis physician looking for a nutritious protein source for his patients with poor teeth encouraged a local food company owner, George A. Bayle, Jr., to process and package ground peanut paste. While peanut butter was introduced to the world at the 1904 Universal Exposition, Americans are still the main consumers of peanut butter worldwide. In fact, enough peanut butter is sold annually in the U.S. (more than 700 million pounds, to be exact) to cover the floor of the Grand Canyon. It was not until the 1920s that peanut butter became a staple of Americans’ diets. Today, Jif operates the world’s largest peanut butter plant, which produces 250,000 jars a day.

Some other fun peanut butter facts: People who fear peanut butter sticking to the roofs of their mouths are called arachibutyrophobes.

One pound of peanuts contains more energy-giving calories than one pound of beefsteak.

Peanut butter is excellent for removing bubble gum from hair and clothing.

It takes about 550 peanuts to make one 12-ounce jar of creamy peanut butter.

Peanut butter is the most popular sandwich for kids under 12, regardless of race, gender or income.

Happy Halloween

Weird, Wild and Wacky Foods

Calling C alling allin ng g al all all l ghosts, g ghost ho osts, goblins go g ob o blins b lin li ns and and spoo spooky sp po oo o oky ky li l little it i ittle tt t tle chefs! t tle ch ch chefs hefs hefs! s! s ! Join Jo J o n us oin us as a s we we create crea r creepy cree cre r epy py Halloween H alloween lloween een trea treats, t treats e t like li e meringue m eringue ringue gue e ghosts gho gho os sts st s t and d breadstick b readstick r eadstick adstick a dstick d s ck bones! bo b on nes! s! s ! Do Don't Do ' forget f or rget get e your et you your "Mad "Ma "M ad d Scientist" Sci Scient S cien ntist ntist" tist is " chef c ch hef ef hat ha h at be because ec ca cause au a ause us u se we we will w wi ill il ll al also a lso l so so perform p pe rform r form orm or rm crazy cr c cra ra r az zy y Hallo Halloween Ha alloween lloween experiments, ex e xperiments, xp xperiments per peri r ment ts, s, such suc su ch as as glow-in-the-dark g low-in-the-dark low-in-thelow-in-the-d w-in w-in-th in-the-da ark rk icing! icin ic g!

Learn L earn arn n the th he e tricks trick t tri icks cks b behind ehind all al a l these ll th t he hese es se s e haunting ha h au a un u unting nt ti tin ing in tr treats reats ats a ts t sa and an nd more! more! r!

Class is $50 per student and will be held on October 27 from 9am - 2pm. Class includes kitchen instruction, snack, lunch, recipes and treats to take home!

Don't be spooked and miss it! Hurry!

Space is limited! Call 706-860-3492 for more information.

CHEERIOS ON THE GO …

A great way to occupy kids on a car trip is by making snack necklaces before you go. String any dry cereal or snack with a hole (such as Cheerios, Froot Loops or pretzels) onto lengths of dental floss or kite string. If you’re brave and don’t mind the extra sugar, butter cookies, LifeSavers and other “holey” treats can be another addition to their snack food finery.

They’ll have a project while you’re packing the car, a snack for the road and you can look forward to at least a few miles of peace and quiet.

A few tips: Make sure the string is long enough to easily reach their mouths without becoming a choking hazard, and of course never leave a child unattended with any type of string or yarn. One more warning—don’t use colored yarn or string because when it gets wet, the color will bleed onto faces, clothes, upholstery, pets, in-laws, etc.

OCTOBER 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

5

FEARfactor

More and more families are choosing skip Halloween. That doesn’t mean the season has to be free of treats, however.

It’s that time of year again — the season of ghouls and goblins. Of sparkly vampires and fake blood. Of things that go bump in the night and zombies who want to eat your brain.

What is scary fun for most children, however, is just plain scary to others and that makes celebrating Halloween difficult at best. Darkness? Costumes?

Strangers? It seems harmless that one night a year, but for some children it’s not. It’s terrifying.

And while the scariness of the holiday might be reason enough for some families to skip it altogether, other families have made a conscious decision not to celebrate Halloween on the basis of religion. These families may have a tougher time distracting their children, who may wonder why they can’t participate in

November 18, includes a corn maze, hay rides, a petting zoo, a jumping pillow, a pumpkin patch, PVC slides, games and more. The Grovetown attraction, which is the only dairy left in Columbia County, is $12 per person, with kids 2 and under receiving free admission, but has coupons on its website (steedsdairy.com) and is constantly giving away tickets through Facebook contests.

Another great local place to visit is Graystone Ranch Wildlife Education Center, which holds its Fall Fest through November 30.

Open Fridays-Sundays, visitors have access to 500 acres of hiking trails, as well as fishing ponds.

There is also a variety of kids activities to participate in, such as a pumpkin patch, a hay maze, hay something the rest of their peers are having fun doing. rides, boat rides, tours of their animal rescue facilities Whatever the reason, if you need an alternative to (including tigers!) and more. Admission is $10 and is Halloween, our calendar has plenty of suggestions. Here good for the entire weekend, and Graystone also has are a few that we like. cabin, RV and tent camping rentals available. Visit graystoneranch.com.

There are a number of events going on in which If you think getting out of town for the weekend participants will get the full flavor of the fall season might lessen the sting of not celebrating Halloween, without the decidedly darker influences it can there are many weekend trips packed with fun things sometimes bring. The Georgia-Carolina Fair may have to do. Both the Columbia and Atlanta zoos (riverbanks. already come and gone, but the Western Carolina Fair org and zooatlanta.org) have seasonal events scheduled, still has a few days left and the Columbia County Fair as do the aquariums in Atlanta (georgiaaquarium. starts the day after Halloween. org) and Charleston (scaquarium.org). A little closer to Those aren’t the only attractions within easy driving home, there’s Kackleberry Farm (kackleberryfarm.com) distance, however. The relatively new Maize at Steed’s in Louisville, Ga. Dairy. Steed’s, which is open Fridays-Sundays through Are you so frustrated with your computer you’ve considered tossing it out the window? Is it so slow you can barely use it? Are you having trouble getting to your favorite web page... or facebood? Are you even tempted to teake it to one of those Big Box Stores for service? Think again!

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METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

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METRO AUGUSTA PARENT |OCTOBER 2012

FAMILY CALENDAR If you have an event that you’d like to submit to Metro Augusta Parent’s monthly family calendar, please contact Amy Christian at 706-496-2535 or amy@ themetrospirit.com.

OCTOBER 18 School’s Out in the Library, featuring a showing of “The Avengers,” is noon-4 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. eBooks for Teens, a Teen Read Week activity for those ages 12-17, is at 3 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

CRSA Christmas Outreach 2012, for those looking for financial assistance for children’s Christmas gifts, is accepting applications though Thursday, October 18, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Carrie J. Mays Family Life Center. Those interested need to bring verification of income, picture ID for adults in the household, and birth certificates, Social Security cards or current Medicaid card for each child in the household. Call 706-364-6484.

Breastfeeding Class is from 7-9 p.m. at Babies R. Us. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Baby 101 infant care class is from 7-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

OCTOBER 19 School Day Out at the Family Y, available at most OCTOBER 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

The Soul City Sirens take on the Sumter Fly Girls Sunday, October 21, at 6 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. $10. An Artists Market will be held from 2-5 p.m. in the parking lot before the bout, and the Goddaughters of Soul, the junior girls roller derby team open to girls ages 10-17, will hold an exhibition bout before the adults bout. Visit soulcitysirens.com.

branches, focuses on character development. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Branch Library. Call for title and rating. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Scooby Doo: Spooky Tales is from 10:30-11:45 a.m. and 4-5:45 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library.

Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

OCTOBER 20 Safe Sitter, a babysitting class for those ages 11-13, is from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Simply Science, a program for those ages 5 and up in which participants collect creek clay, create a miniature volcano and perform other science experiments, is from 4:30-5:30 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. Free, members; $2 per child, non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Zombie Sock Hop Movie: It Came From Outer Space, a YA-AL program for those ages 12-18, is at 5:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Camp Out at the Library, a Teen Read Week event that features an outdoor activity, Smores, warm drinks, crafts, ghost stories and more, is from 6-9 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Weekend Childbirth Education Class is from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

School’s Out Movie Matinee is at 2:30 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call for title and rating. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

School’s Out Movie shows at 3 p.m. at Diamond Lakes

Weekend Childbirth Education Class is from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Teen Talk, a puberty class for those ages 9-12 and their mothers, is from 10 a.m.-noon at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net.

YA-AL Book Swamp and Alternate Ending Session is at 3 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Book Swamp and Alternate Ending Session is at 3 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Parents Night Out at the Family Y of Aiken County, for those ages 2-12, is from 5:30-9 p.m. $12, members; $20, non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Solar System Adventure Tour shows at 7 and 8 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s DuPont Planetarium. Call 803-641-3564 or visit rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium.

METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

7

MONDAY

Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Monday at 10:15 a.m. for 2-year-olds and at 11 a.m. for preschoolers. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org.

TUESDAY

KinderCare Story Time (ages 3-6) is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Group registration required. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library.

Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Tuesday at 10:15 and 11 a.m. for those under 2. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Storytime in the Gardens is each Tuesday in October at 4 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens behind the Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame. Local senior adults will read children’s books and each family who attends will receive a free book.

Blankets, chairs, drinks and snacks are welcome. If the weather is bad, storytime will move to inside the Weeks Activities Center. Call 803642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

WEDNESDAY

Preschool Story Time (ages 2 and under) is every Wednesday at Headquar ters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

12th Annual Miracle Mile Walk is at the Augusta Common, with registration beginning at 8 a.m. and the three-mile walk supporting those with breast cancer beginning at 9:30 a.m.

Visit universityhealth.org.

Moving Day, the 13th Annual CSRA Parkinson Walk, is at the Wilson Family Y from 9 a.m.-noon. The event features entertainment, a Movement Pavilion, food, information tables and prizes. Call 706-364-1662 or visit movingdayaugusta.org.

The Soul City Sirens take on the Sumter Fly Girls at 6 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. $10. An Artists Market will be held from 2-5 p.m. in the parking lot before the bout, and the Goddaughters of Soul, the junior girls roller derby team, will hold an exhibition bout before the adults bout. Visit soulcitysirens.com.

Bringing Home the Cure, a softball tournament to benefit the Augusta chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, is at 9 a.m. at Boyd Pond Park in Aiken. $15 per person, with co-ed teams requiring 10 players (with at least two girls). Email colleen.carey3@gmail.com.

Master Harpists Grainne Hambly and William Jackson perform at the Church of Our Savior, 4227 Columbia Road in Martinez, at 7 p.m. The concert, free and open to the public, will be followed by a reception afterwards to meet the artists.

Call 706-863-1718 or email oursavior@knology.net.

Party in Pink Zumbathon, to benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation, is from 2-4 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $10. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

OCTOBER 22 Friends & Family Adult/Child CPR Class is at 6 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted” shows at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl. org.

“Hard Times,” the Masterpiece Theatre version of the Charles Dickens tale, shows at 2 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

20th Annual Boshears Skyfest is at Daniel Field, with gates open at 9 a.m. and opening ceremonies at 1:30 p.m. Events include airshows, vendors, a car show, games and activities for kids and more. Visit boshears.com.

PaineFest is from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. on the campus on Paine College. The free event features stage performances by dancers, singer and choirs, the Bubba’s Great BBQ Cook-Off competition, a children’s art village, a food court, vendors court, art exhibitions, book signing and more. Visit paine.edu/ painefest.

A Day to Remember, a re-creation of Colonial life through demonstrations and living exhibits, is from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, October 21 from 10 a.m.4 p.m. at North Augusta’s Living History Park. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us.

This Is My Vote Rally and Candidate Forum, sponsored by the Paine College NAACP chapter, is at 2 p.m. during PaineFest at the Peters Campus Center veranda. Visit paine. edu.

Coupon 101 Class is at 10 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

“The Pilgrim’s Progress,” a production of the Salvation Army Territorial Creative Arts Ensemble, shows at 7 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $5. Visit krocaugusta.org.

OCTOBER 21 20th Annual Boshears Skyfest is at Daniel Field, with gates open at 9 a.m. and opening ceremonies at 1:30 p.m. Events include airshows, vendors, a car show, games and activities for kids and more. Visit boshears.com.

A Day to Remember, a re-creation of Colonial life through demonstrations and living exhibits, is from 10 a.m.4 p.m. at North Augusta’s Living History Park. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us.

Claude Bourbon performs classical acoustic guitar pieces at 2

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METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art as part of the Music at the Morris series. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

OCTOBER 23 The Birds, the Bees and Me, a class for girls ages 12-15 and their mothers, female relatives or friends on sexuality, peer pressure and responsible decision making, is from 6:30-9 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $10. Pre-registration required.

Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Canadian Pianist Ang Li performs as part of the Tuesday’s Music Live series at noon at St. Paul’s Church, followed by lunch in the River Room catered by Crums on Central.

Pre-registration required for lunch. Call 706-722-3463 or visit tuesdaysmusiclive.com.

OCTOBER 24 Study Hall for teens meets from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens.

Kid’s Bellydancing Storytime Special with Kendra Colin is at 10 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Apps for Elementary Students, a class for those ages 6-11, is at 1 p.m. and Thursday, October 25, at 5 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-447-7657 or visit ecgrl.org.

Infant CPR Class is at 6:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Medical Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

OCTOBER 25 Infant CPR Class is at 7 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Trick or Treat So Others Can Eat is from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at Patriots Park Gym. Admission is a can of food. Call 706-3127194 or visit columbiacountyga.gov.

Cats Galore Craft Workshop, for those ages 3-5, is at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Participants should bring crayons, markers and glue, and pre-registration is required. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Time to Scare Halloween Carnival and Haunted House, for children ages 12 and under, is from 5-8 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Community Center and includes carnival games, a costume contest at 7 p.m. and more. Call 803-278-1212 or visit METRO AUGUSTA PARENT |OCTOBER 2012

augustaga.gov.

Worlds of Fantasy, a Disney on Ice production, is at 7 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $16-$46. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com.

Teen Tales of Terror, the winners of the 10th Annual Teen Ghost Story contest, is from 7-8 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. The event also includes an open mic portion for anyone who wants to tell their own ghost stories. Call 803279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

OCTOBER 26 Worlds of Fantasy, a Disney on Ice production, is at 10:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $16-$46. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com.

YA-Al Scavenger Hunt for teens is from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Trick or Treat at Reed Creek, which includes games, treats, a costume contest and more, is from 6-9 p.m. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

OCTOBER 27 Childcare and Babysitting Safety, a program for those ages 1114, is from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $30 fee includes lunch. Pre-registration required. Visit trinityofaugusta. com.

Worlds of Fantasy, a Disney on Ice production, is at 1 and 5 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $16-$46. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com.

Harvest Party for families is at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library and includes music, games, stories, a costume parade and more. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Wii Gaming Free Play Session for ages 8-11 is at 2 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Zombie 5K Haunted Trail Run, for those 14 and older, begins at 2 p.m. at Fort Gordon next to the Dinner Theatre. $35 includes the Apocalypse Party held after the run. Call 706-7914300 or email zombie5kfortgordon@yahoo.com.

Ghost Story Awards Program and Reception for teens is at 3 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Downtown Halloween Festival in Aiken is from 4-7 p.m. and includes trick or treating, carnival games, a costume contest and more for ages 12 and under accompanied by an adult.

Free. Call 803-642-7631 or 803-642-7634.

Parents Night Out for Children of Deployed Soldiers at the Marshall Family Y, for ages 2-12, is from 6-9:30 p.m. Free. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Parents Night Out at the Wilson Family Y and the Family Y of Augusta South, for ages 2-12, is from 6-9:30 p.m. $12, members; $20, non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Halloween Safety, Self-Defense and Situational Awareness Seminar for families is from 6-8:30 p.m. at Superior Academy, 4158 Washington Road in Evans, and includes hands-on self-defense and stranger danger seminars, food and OCTOBER 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

drinks, Halloween-inspired games and a costume contest.

RSVP suggested. Email jherrera@superioracademy.com.

Monster Bash, a benefit for GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center, is at 8 p.m. at Enterprise Mill. The event features food and drinks, live music, a silent auction and more. Costumes encouraged. $50. Call 706-721-4004 or email castewart@ georgiahealth.edu.

OCTOBER 28 Pet-A-Fair, a benefit for the CSRA Humane Society, is from noon-4 p.m. at Julian Smith Casino. The free event features pet and parent costume contest and other competitions, a silent auction and raffles, a bake sale, refreshments, T-shirts and a microchip clinic. Visit csrahumanesociety.org.

Worlds of Fantasy, a Disney on Ice production, is at 2 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $16-$46. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com.

Get Understanding Youth Speakers Series is at 3 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

OCTOBER 29 Kids Halloween Party is from 6-7:30 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library and includes treats, crafts, games and more.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

OCTOBER 30 Special Halloween Storytime at the Euchee Creek Branch Library is at 6 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

OCTOBER 31 HALLOWEEN! Study Hall for teens meets from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens.

NOVEMBER 1 What’s in the Box: Portraits of Plenty of People, a children’s activity event, is from 10-11 a.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Members, free; non-members, $4. Pre-registration required.

Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Cribs for Kids, an infant safe sleep seminar offered by Safe Kids East Central is from 5:45-8 p.m. at GHSU’s Building 1010C. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids.

Center for Women Tour is from 7-8 p.m. at Doctors Hospital.

Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Spencers Theatre of Illusion, presented by the Aiken Performing Arts Group, is at 8 p.m. at the URS Performing Arts Center in Aiken. $40; $20, students. Call 803-648-1438 or visit apagonline.com.

NOVEMBER 2 Cherokee Leaf Painting, a craft program for those ages 5 and up accompanied by a parent, is from 4:30-5:30 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. Free, members; $2 per child, non-members. Preregistration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark. com.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library.

Pre-registration required. Call 706793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:0510:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up.

Parent must stay with child. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for 2-year-olds and at 11 a.m. for preschoolers and at 4 p.m. for families with kids of all ages. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-6422023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-5560594 or visit ecgrl.org.

THURSDAY

Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Thursday at 10:15 a.m. for 2-year-olds and at 11 a.m. for preschoolers. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Weekend Childbirth Education Class is from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

9

From Augusta with Love, a James Bond-themed fundraiser for the Ronald McDonald House Charities’ of Augusta, is from 7-11 p.m. at the Marbury Center and includes food and drinks, a DJ, live and silent auctions and more. $50, individuals; $90, couples. Visit fromaugustawithlove.eventbrite.com.

Spencers Theatre of Illusion, presented by the Aiken Performing Arts Group, is at 8 p.m. at the URS Performing Arts Center in Aiken. $40; $20, students.

Call 803-648-1438 or visit apagonline.com.

NOVEMBER 3 Saturday Express Lamaze Class is from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Weekend Childbirth Education Class is from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

The Center for the Study of Southern Art at the Morris Museum of Art holds a library book sale from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Fifth Annual Music Festival, hosted by Eryn Eubanks & the Family Fold and benefiting Lynndale Inc., is from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. at the Kroc Center and features local and regional musicans performing bluegrass, country, gospel and more. The event also features dance troupes, visual artists and crafters, vendors and more. $10. Call 706738-3395.

The Heart and History of Jewish Music, a concert by

10 METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

Joy Katzen-Guthrie presented by Congregation Children is from 6-9 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $10. Preof Israel, is at 8 p.m. at Congregation Children of Israel. registration required. Visit trinityofaugusta.com. $25, advance; $35, door. Visit cciaugusta.org.

NOVEMBER 7 Study Hall for teens meets from 3-5 p.m. at the NOVEMBER 4 Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit Artrageous! Family Sunday: Car Crazy is from noon-4 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706-724ecgrl.org/teens.

7501 or visit themorris.org.

Let’s Talk Self Esteem, a program for women and teen The Center for the Study of Southern Art at the Morris girls, is at 6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library.

Museum of Art holds a library book sale from noon-5 Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl. p.m. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. org.

Chess Club for Kids meets from 2:30-4 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

NOVEMBER 5 Family Focused Childbirth Tours are from 2-3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required.

Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

NOVEMBER 6 Teen and Tween Club Day at the Columbia County Library begins with Manga Club at 4 p.m. and Digital Photography Club at 5 p.m. Pre-registration required.

Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

A-Team Autism Spectrum Disorder Support and Resource Group meets from 6-7 p.m. at GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center family resource Library.

Email ddrakele@georgiahealth.edu.

On Being a Girl, a class on puberty for those ages 9-12,

NOVEMBER 8 Car Seat Class is from 5:45-8 p.m. at MCGHealth Building 1010C. $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/kids.

Breastfeeding Class is from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Women’s Center Tours are from 7-9:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required.

Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Annual Veterans Concert, presented by the North Augusta Cultural Arts Council is at 7:30 p.m. in the Wesley Center of Grace United Methodist Church and features Savannah River Winds, Wycliff Gordon and emcee Terry Sams. Visit naartscouncil.org.

NOVEMBER 9 Diamond Lakes Puppet Players present a program

METRO AUGUSTA PARENT |OCTOBER 2012

about turkeys and Thanksgiving for families at 10 a.m.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Wilderness Survival, a backcountry camping and emergency survival skills program for those ages 8-18, is from 4:30-5:30 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. Members, free; non-members, $2 per child. Pre-registration required.

Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Freedom Friday at the Family Y of Augusta South, for kids ages 8 weeks to 12 years, is from 6-9:30 p.m. Free for active-duty military families. Visit thefamilyy.org.

NOVEMBER 10 Oka-Chaffa Indian Festival, presented by the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy, is at the Phinizy Swamp Nature Park and includes Native American arts, crafts, dances, musicians, food, games, special guests Okefenokee Joe and Thunder the Buffalo and more. $12, adults; $6, children 6-12; free, 5 and younger. Call 706-828-2109 or visit naturalsciencesacademy.org.

Safe Sitter, a babysitting class for those ages 11-13, is from 8:45 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Safe Kids office. $35 fee includes lunch. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7217606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids.

Girls on the Run 5K is at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center.

Pre-registration deadline is November 2. $25. Visit girlsontherunofthecsra.org/2012-fall-5K. Baby Care Basics and Breastfeeding Class is from

OCTOBER 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

9 a.m.-noon at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Preregistration required. Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Childcare and Babysitting Safety, a program for those ages 11-14, is from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $30 fee includes lunch. Pre-registration required. Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Short and Sweet, a weekend childbirth education class, is from 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctorshospital.net.

Childbirth Tours are from 10:30-11:30 a.m. at GHSU’s Medical Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7219351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Parents Night Out at the Marshall Family Y and the Family Y of North Augusta, for kids ages 2-12, is from 6-9:30 p.m. $12, members; $20, non-members. Visit thefamilyy.org.

NOVEMBER 11 Oka-Chaffa Indian Festival, presented by the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy, is at the Phinizy Swamp Nature Park and includes Native American arts, crafts, dances, musicians, food, games, special guests Okefenokee Joe and Thunder the Buffalo and more. $12, adults; $6, children 6-12; free, 5 and younger. Call 706-828-2109 or visit naturalsciencesacademy.org.

Short and Sweet, a weekend childbirth education class, is from 1-5 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration

required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

118th Anniversary Celebration is at 2:30 p.m. at Mt. Zion Missionary Baptist Church, 2526 Lumpkin Road.

Call 706-793-7399 or visit mtzionaugusta.org.

An Evening at the Opera, a fundraiser for the Jessye Norman School of the Arts hosted by Jessye Norman, is at 5 p.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre. $40; $20, students 25 and under and active duty military. Call 706-6674100 or visit tickets.aug.edu.

NOVEMBER 12 School’s Out Movie for Teens is at 2 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Call for title and rating. Participants can bring their own snacks and the library will provide some as well. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Our New Baby Brother or Sister, a baby care class for siblings, is from 4-5 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta.

Pre-registration required. visit trinityofaugusta.com.

NOVEMBER 13 Pickles and Ice Cream, a class for women in their first trimester of pregnancy, is from 7-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Childbirth Tours are from 7:30-8:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Medical Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7219351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

NOVEMBER 14

METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12 11

Jewelry 101 for ages 8-11 is at 1 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-4477657 or visit ecgrl.org.

Study Hall for teens meets from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens.

ONGOING 2012 Augusta Photography Festival, including exhibits, gallery shows, workshops, field trips, photo safaris and other special events, is October 26-November 4 at locations around the area. For a complete list of events, visit augustaphotofestival.org.

“Night Chills: Tales of Terror by Edgar Allen Poe,” a production of the Aiken Community Playhouse Youth Wing, shows October 19-20 and 26-27 at 8 p.m. and October 21 and 27 at 3 p.m. $20, adults; $17, seniors; $12, students; $7, children under 12. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1011.com.

“Beware What You Ask of a Fairy,” a Storyland Theatre production, shows for schools on TuesdayFriday, October 23-26, at 9:30 a.m., 10:45 a.m. and 12:15 p.m. A Saturday matinee is October 27 at 3 p.m.

School shows, $4.50 with teachers and chaperones free; matinee, $6. Call 706-736-3455 or visit storylandtheatre. org.

The Augusta Ghost Trolley offers tours every Friday and Saturday at 7 and 9 p.m. departing from the Augusta Museum of History. The 90-minute tour includes the Old Medical College, the Haunted Pillar and St. Paul’s Cemetery. $22, adults; $12, children ages 5-12. Pre-registration required. Call 706-814-5333 or visit augustaghosttrolley.com.

The Georgia-Carolina State Fair continues through Sunday, October 21, at the Augusta Exchange Club fairgrounds downtown. Hours are Monday-Friday, from 5 p.m. and Saturdays and Sundays, from noon.

Activities include a rides and games midway, food, agricultural exhibits, entertainment and more. Advance admission and ride tickets are on sale now and admissions specials are available daily at the gate. Visit georgiacarolinastatefair.org.

The Western Carolina State Fair is Thursday, October 18-Saturday, October 27, at the Aiken Fairgrounds.

Hours are Monday-Friday from 5 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday from noon. Activities include a ride and games midway, exhibits, a rodeo, demolition derby and more. Advanced admission and ride tickets are on sale now and admissions specials are available daily at the gate. Visit westerncarolinastatefair.com.

The Columbia County Fair will be held November 1-10 at the fairgrounds across from Patriots Park.

Hours are Monday-Thursday, 5-11 p.m.; Friday, 5 p.m.-midnight; Saturday, noon-midnight; and Sunday, 1-11 p.m. Events include rides and games, shows, food, a petting zoo and special performances. Admission and ride special daily. Visit columbiacountyfair.net.

Steed’s Dairy is open through November 18. Hours are Fridays, 5-10 p.m.; Saturdays, 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; and

12 METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

Sundays, 1-6 p.m. Activities at the working dairy farm include a petting zoo, a jumping pillow, a giant tube slide, rubber duckie races, a preschool play area, a Maize, hayrides, pumpkin patch and more. $12 per person; those 2 and under free. Visit steedsdairy.com.

The Corner Pumpkin Patch at Marvin United Methodist Church is open through Wednesday, October 31. Hours are Monday-Friday, noon-7 p.m.; Saturday, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; and Sunday, 1-6 p.m. Call 706863-0510 or visit marvinchurch.com.

The Augusta Market at the River is every Saturday through October 27 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead and features produce, arts and crafts and more for sale, as well as live music and entertainment.

Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Classes, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or MartinezColumbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids.

Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu.

Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly.

For more information, call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org.

Spanish 101, a six-week course for those ages 16 and older, is held Thursdays beginning October 18, from 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $80, members; $90, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta. org.

GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl. org.

Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by ASU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Mondays-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive.

Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit aug. edu.

members; $15, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Pre-registration required.

Visit thefamilyy.org.

Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or visit alsalley@wrh. org.

Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered Monday-Saturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History.

Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

YA@AL Ghost Story Contest is accepting submissions online and at the library October 1-19. Call 706-8212600 or visit surveymonkey.com/s/JWMDR7N. Kroc Tots Activity Hours, for those 5 and under, meets every Friday from 9-10 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Homeschool PE Time, for those elementary school aged, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; call for non-member prices.

Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Fall Fest at Graystone Ranch Wildlife Education Center and Nature Park is going on through November 30, on Fridays and from 10 a.m.-midnight and Sundays from noon-midnight. the event includes a haunted hayride and fireworks over the lake through November 3, hiking, fishing, boat rides, exotic animal tours, petting zoos, a pumpkin patch, a hay maze, photos with the scarecrow, zip lines and more. $10. Visit graystoneranch.com.

Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. Free, METRO AUGUSTA PARENT |OCTOBER 2012

AMERICANdream Has collecting “stuff” become a nightmare?

I’m taking my niece and nephew to the Columbia Airport after their three-week visit from Washington, D.C., and I wanted to leave 10 minutes ago. Instead, the three of us are digging through the recycling bin.

Not the small, innocuous one under the kitchen sink but the actual can — the one in the backyard that’s been accumulating our trash for a week. What are we looking for? An empty Coke bottle.

That’s right, my nine-year-old niece refuses to go home without the “commemorative” bottle she received at the end of our World of Coca-Cola tour in Atlanta last weekend. She also insists on retrieving the bottle cap.

The source of my frustration with my darling little niece this morning is not just my intolerance for being behind schedule. Mostly, I’m disappointed with this child’s visceral need to cling to worthless tokens, a need I now understand is consistent with the habits of a vast number of Americans today. As a professional organizer, I have seen firsthand the extent to which many of us collect — even hoard — the meaningless objects with which we are bombarded daily, and the sometimes crippling effects that this compulsion can have on our quality of life. It’s something I expected from my grandparents’ generation, from people who lived through the destitute, uncertain years of the Great Depression. But after three years helping clients overcome their emotional attachments to the very items that interfere their enjoyment of life, I understand that even nine-year-olds with bedrooms jam-packed with every conceivable toy clutch in their small hands the inconsequential mementos of contemporary American existence.

Why is it that Americans, who tend largely to have so much at our fingertips, still seek to obtain and harbor every possible possession? My belief, having intimately dealt with these tendencies in several clients over the years, is that consumerism is to blame. Somehow the American dream became the American nightmare. Our drive to display our success through our purchases has backfired and many of us find ourselves barricaded from happiness by the piles of stuff with which we surround ourselves.

Now don’t think I’m just referring to “hoarders,” whose horror stories we’ve all seen on television, or super-rich folks who can’t remember how many houses they own. I’m talking about average, “99 percent” Americans who arrive late to every appointment, can’t keep track of their mail, search for their keys several times daily and never get around to doing the things they consider most important, whether it’s exercise, pleasure reading, quality family time or starting work on the next great American novel.

Certainly I’m no Spartan. I’m an aesthete and I surround myself with things I find beautiful, including an embarrassingly large collection of shoes. However, I have always loathed the superfluous and I manage my belongings in a manner that helps me constantly work toward my life goals. The moment I sense that a thing is inhibiting my personal growth, I donate/recycle/trash it. The work I do with clients to help them implement similar habits is some of the most rewarding of my life.

OCTOBER 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

By Marin Rose

Which is why I so wish to pull my niece out of the recycling bin, sit her down and give her my spiel now, before she continues down the road of empty Coke bottles to utter chaos. However, we’re late for the airport — and I’m sure the last thing this poor girl wants after three weeks in our home is more instructions from her crazy aunt Marin.

So rather than lecture this poor child at this inopportune moment, I’ll be offering you, my dear

reader, my free, unsolicited — but expert! — advice in this column each month. See you here next time when I tackle holiday decorating on a budget.

Marin Rose owns and operates Functional, Fashionable, a professional organizing, decorating and home staging company new to Augusta from Washington, D.C. For more information, visit functionalfashionable.com.

METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12 13

RYANBURKHOLDER, a 40-something former latchkey kid who lived in Augusta for 30 years, now calls Nashville, Tennessee, home, where he lives with his 10-year-old son Emerson and their 18-year-old cat Potter. Happily divorced, he works in the communications department for a large healthcare company and describes himself as apolitical, an â&#x20AC;&#x153;unfortunate packrat who despises clutterâ&#x20AC;? and a First Amendment purist. He loves small-batch bourbons, good cigars and exotic food (including Waffle House), but dislikes warm beer and most people in grocery stores. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve also sat proudly atop the aged Army tank at Pendleton King Park at least 100 times,â&#x20AC;? he says.

LATCHKEY KID

How Simple Some Things Can Be Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve fretted this column for weeks â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not knowing where to go. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been bent on rants against a Nashville public school system that has worked to turn me into a person I would never accept or one from whom I would never recover; against Augusta, Ga., which decades ago convinced me to accept mediocrity (or the promise of it) in place of success; and against the general state of politics and its poisons that so many of us eagerly ingest and regurgitate. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been stuck on just which horror is most deserving of my complaint.

Aside from confirming Emersonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homework, a quickly prepared meal and general hygiene, I spent the entire evening working on an outline of what would amount to little more than a few hundred word condemnation of it all â&#x20AC;&#x201D; valuable space that could be used by someone else with something positive to say.

The multiple outlines were garbage. Grandiose whining.

Failure, letter by letter.

And then in a near fit I would never allow my Boy, I stormed away from the keyboard and ended up in his room where heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d read himself to sleep. Beneath the faint light of his outgrown lamp, I looked upon him as I have done thousands of times. No longer the sweat-drenched helicopter boy of 10 years, he lay on his favorite pillows beneath clasped hands, his head propped as if posed. His breathing â&#x20AC;&#x201D; still â&#x20AC;&#x201D; forever so slow it makes me hold my own breath to the point of near drowning. His eventual exhale keeping me sane.

And he sleeps. Ever he sleeps. At ease he is, unstressed by the things to which Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve given too much attention. I watch

him sleep. I do this often â&#x20AC;&#x201D; even as heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s aged. As I presume many parents can attest, doing so is calming. Because when he is there, sleeping before me, he is not â&#x20AC;&#x153;elsewhere.â&#x20AC;? He is not an acquiescent captive to the failed school system in which Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve enrolled him. He is not a potential horrific statistic due to some madperson or thing unknown. He is not lost or confused or hurt or ineligible. He is safe, in this period of stasis.

This Now Boy, whom Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve effectively used to sweep away (or at least pause the encroachment of) the reality of the reprehensible and failed, is now, in slumber, not quite three years old. He holds on to me as we traverse the turquoise/ cobalt blue of the Gulf of Mexico while stingrays by the hundreds dance at my calves. He is amazed. I am amazed.

His tiny left arm fans over the all of it. His smiling eyes identical in color to all before us. He, with his right arm secure about my neck, never doubting. Never doubting.

And then with his father in the lead, he is in Gatlinburg, Boston, Colorado, Portland, Negril. He is in Naples, Hilton Head, Chicago, D.C. He is a safe, well-traveled child. He is happy. He is off the charts intelligent. Polite, respectful, inquisitive. He is responsible for complete strangers approaching me to comment on his manners. He is an incredibly well-adjusted child who never ceases to amaze me.

He is.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the luckiest man ever there was. Said and said again.

And still. And still, I somehow manage to question nearly every move I make. This is either the curse of a parent or

someone not quite stable. I embrace this Boyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inherent decency and goodness and still curse the painful fact that he has to deal with an atrocious first year of middle School â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a product of a metropolitan system so flawed I am forced to reconsider everything Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever expected of public education.

Including the abomination that was my own experience.

So what I do is embrace his sleep. I selfishly take comfort in his momentary stasis. Trust me, this Boy will never stay still except under the canopy of sleep. How egotistic can one man be to think otherwise? Granted, I recognize the absolute need for balance here: my recognition of responsibility to move Emerson forward; and the idealistic desire to keep him safe, well tended. It is a tenuous balance at best. Difficult but not impossible. Re-evaluating and agreeing to not take myself so serious will go a long way toward accomplishing what scores of parents do every day.

It truly is amazing how simple some things can be if only you will allow them. This Boy of mine is going to be all kinds of fine. I know it in my marrow.

But in order to believe what I know, I have to watch him sleep. I have to wade among stingrays in water so blue that each step makes music.

I have to believe that my son, with universes at his fingertips, does not doubt me.

Even when I doubt myself.

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706-868-6111 14 METRO SPIRIT 10.18.12

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V23|NO42

It’s Your Book Club examines “Silver Sparrow” by Tayari Jones on Thursday, October 18, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Flix School’s Out Movie Matinee is Friday, October 19, at 2:30 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call for title and rating. Call 706-7366758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Book Sale is Saturday, October 20, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each School’s Out Movie shows Friday, October 19, at 3 p.m. at Diamond Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call Lakes Branch Library. Call for title and rating. Call 706-772-2432 or 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. visit ecgrl.org.

Apres Market walking tour of downtown art galleries meets “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted” shows Saturday, October Saturdays at 2 p.m. at the Augusta Market at the River. The tour, 20, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821which lasts until 5 p.m., includes live painting, children’s reading hours, demonstrations and discounts. Visit artistsrowaugusta.com.

2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Creative Writing Workshop, led by Cheryl Corbin, is Saturday, October 20, at 1:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Talk the Talk Ladies Book Club discusses “What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day” by Pearl Cleage on Tuesday, October 23, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Maxwell Morning Book Club discusses “The Man in the High Castle”

by Phillip K. Dick Thursday, October 25, at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Dance Friday Dance, hosted by the Fraternal Order of Elks, 205 Elkdon Court in Martinez, is each Friday night from 7-11 p.m., with light snacks served from 7-8 and the dance, starting at 8 p.m., featuring DJ Joe Tutt playing shag, slow music and music to line dance to. $8.

The third Friday is the Elks Dance, $35 per couple, which includes a full meal served from 7-8 p.m. and music by the Fun Time Band until 11 p.m. Call 706-860-3232.

Christian Singles Dance, a smoke-, alcohol- and drug-free event for those ages 40 and over, is each Saturday night at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Dance lessons start at 7 p.m., and the dance begins at 8 p.m. No partners needed. $8, members; $10, guests. Visit christiandances.org.

Tango Night is every Thursday, 7-9:30 p.m., at Casa Blanca Cafe, 936 Broad Street. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com.

Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:30-9:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Theater “Night Chills: Tales of Terror by Edgar Allen Poe,” a production of the Aiken Community Playhouse Youth Wing, shows October 19-20 and 26-27 at 8 p.m. and October 21 and 27 at 3 p.m. $20, adults; $17, seniors; $12, students; $7, children under 12. Call 803-6481438 or visit acp1011.com.

“Hard Times,” the Masterpiece Theatre version of the Charles Dickens tale, shows Saturday, October 20, at 2 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

“Pecker” shows Tuesday, October 23, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events 20th Annual Boshears Skyfest is Saturday-Sunday, October 20-21, at Daniel Field, with gates open at 9 a.m. each day and opening ceremonies at 1:30 p.m. Events include airshows, vendors, a car show, games and activities for kids and more. Visit boshears.com.

PaineFest is Saturday, October 20, from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. on the campus on Paine College. The free event features stage performances by dancers, singer and choirs, the Bubba’s Great BBQ Cook-Off competition, a children’s art village, a food court, vendors court, art exhibitions, book signing and more. Visit paine. edu/painefest.

A Day to Remember, a re-creation of Colonial life through demonstrations and living exhibits, is Saturday, October 20, from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, October 21 from 10 a.m.4 p.m. at North Augusta’s Living History Park. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us.

This Is My Vote Rally and Candidate Forum, sponsored by the Paine College NAACP chapter, is Saturday, October 20, at 2 p.m. during PaineFest at the Peters Campus Center veranda. Visit paine.edu.

Trick or Treat So Others Can Eat is Thursday, October 25, from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at Patriots Park Gym. Admission is a can of food.

Call 706-312-7194 or visit columbiacountyga.gov.

The Augusta Market at the River is every Saturday through October 27 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead and features produce, arts and crafts and more for sale, as well as live music and entertainment. Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health Mobile Mammography Screenings, offered by appointment, are available October 18 at Aiken Fiberglass Yarn, October 22 at SRS Area F, October 23 at Walgreens on Peach Orchard Road, October 24 at Club Car and October 25 at Fiviet Pharmacy in Washington.

Appointments can be made from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. each day. Call 706774-4145 or visit universityhealth.org.

Everything You Need to Know about Cancer Awareness, a lunch seminar led by Dr. Mariam Atkins, is Thursday, October 18, from 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-6719 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Breastfeeding Class is Thursday, October 18, from 7-9 p.m. at Babies R. Us. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-7742825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Baby 101 infant care class is Thursday, October 18, from 7-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-6512229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Weekend Childbirth Education Class is Friday, October 19, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, October 20, from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Bloodless Medicine Seminar, a community event highlighting techniques in medical and surgical treatment that don’t require blood transfusions, is Saturday, October 20, from 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at the GHSU Alumni Center on 15th Street. Free, but preregistration required. Call 706-721-2677 or visit mcghealth. org/bmsp.

The Georgia-Carolina State Fair continues through Sunday, October 21, at the Augusta Exchange Club fairgrounds downtown. Hours are Monday-Friday, from 5 p.m. and Saturdays and Sundays, from noon. Activities include a rides and games midway, food, agricultural Friends & Family Adult/Child CPR Class is Monday, October 22, at 6 exhibits, entertainment and more. Advance admission and ride tickets are on sale now and admissions specials are available daily p.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. at the gate. Visit georgiacarolinastatefair.org.

The Western Carolina State Fair is Thursday, October 18-Saturday, October 27, at the Aiken Fairgrounds. Hours are Monday-Friday “The Pilgrim’s Progress,” a production of the Salvation Army Territorial Creative Arts Ensemble, shows Saturday, October 20, at 7 from 5 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday from noon. Activities include a ride and games midway, exhibits, a rodeo, demolition p.m. at the Kroc Center. $5. Visit krocaugusta.org. derby and more. Advanced admission and ride tickets are on sale now and admissions specials are available daily at the gate. Visit Extreme Theatre Games, sponsored by Schrodinger’s Cat, is Saturday, October 20, at 8 p.m. at the Jabez Performing Arts Center westerncarolinastatefair.com. at the Columbia County Library. Beer and wine will be available. $12.

Call 706-722-3322 or visit brownpapertickets.com/event/273809. The Augusta Ghost Trolley offers tours every Friday and Saturday at 7 and 9 p.m. departing from the Augusta Museum of History.

“Beware What You Ask of a Fairy,” a Storyland Theatre production, The 90-minute tour includes the Old Medical College, the Haunted shows for schools on Tuesday-Friday, October 23-26, at 9:30 a.m., Pillar and St. Paul’s Cemetery. $22, adults; $12, children ages 5-12. Pre-registration required. Call 706-814-5333 or visit 10:45 a.m. and 12:15 p.m. A Saturday matinee is October 27 at augustaghosttrolley.com.

3 p.m. School shows, $4.50 with teachers and chaperones free; matinee, $6. Call 706-736-3455 or visit storylandtheatre.org.

The Corner Pumpkin Patch at Marvin United Methodist Church is 18OCTOBER2012

open through Wednesday, October 31. Hours are Monday-Friday, noon-7 p.m.; Saturday, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; and Sunday, 1-6 p.m. Call 706-863-0510 or visit marvinchurch.com.

Total Joint Replacement Education Talk is Tuesday, October 23, from 1:30-3:30 p.m. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-6514343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

What’s New in Breast Cancer Treatments, led by medical oncologist Dr. Mitchell Berger, is Tuesday, October 23, from 6-7:30 p.m. at Savannah Rapids Pavilion. Pre-registration required. Visit universityhealth.org.

Infant CPR Class is Wednesday, October 24, at 6:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Medical Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Anxiety and Depression in the Context of Heart Disease, part of the Heart to Heart series led by Dr. Abbey Valvano, is Thursday, October 25, at 5 p.m. at GHSU’s Cardiovascular Center. PreAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 37

V23|NO42

registration required. Call 706-721-9055 or visit georgiahealth.org. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-724-5200 or visit Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, October 25, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors universityhealth.org.

Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at visit doctors-hospital.net.

Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org.

Infant CPR Class is Thursday, October 25, at 7 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open visit universityhealth.org. discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

Saturday Mammograms will be available at GHSU between 9 Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors a.m.-1 p.m. in October. Register by calling 706-721-9729 or visit Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn georgiahealth.org/breasthealth. survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Classes, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their Kids Office or Martinez-Columbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids.

Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets Education every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, Spanish 101, a six-week course for those ages 16 and older, is held and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, Thursdays beginning October 18, from 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the Kroc medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit Center. $80, members; $90, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or trinityofaugusta.com. visit krocaugusta.org.

Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at Emotional Memory and PTSD: Insights from Cat Hair and Cat Fish, a 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Psychology Lecture series presentation by Dr. Almira Vazdarjanova, Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu. is Friday, October 19, at noon at ASU’s University Hall room 170.

Call 706-667-4620 or visit aug.edu.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for This Place Matters: Preserving Augusta’s African American members; $3 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call Communities, a two-day seminar hosted by the Lucy Craft Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Laney Museum of Black History and Historic Augusta, begins Friday, October 19, at 6:30 p.m. at Sand Hills Community Center Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday and continues Saturday, October 20, at 9:30 a.m., beginning at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart at the center and including a walking tour of the community, & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit a panel discussion and luncheon. Seminar, free; luncheon, universityhealth.org. $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com.

Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically The Georgia-lina Bike Summit, a three-day event that aims to and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 foster bicycle-friendly conditions in Georgia and South Carolina, is Friday, October 19-Sunday, October 21 and features a welcome or visit thefamilyy.org. reception on Friday at 7 p.m. at Enterprise Mill, workshops on Saturday and bike rides on Sunday. Pre-registration required. Visit Support georgiabikesummit.org.

Weight Loss Support Group meets Thursday, October 18, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorsCoupon 101 Class is Saturday, October 20, at 10 a.m. at the Kroc hospital.net.

Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Young Women With Breast Cancer Support Group meets Friday, Beyond the Gravestone, a guided tour of Beech Island Cemetery, October 19, at 12:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-774is Saturday, October 20, at 5:30 p.m. beginning at Redcliffe 4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

Plantation State Historic Site. $6. Call 803-827-1473 or visit southcarolinaparks.com.

Insulin Pumpers Support Group meets Thursday, October 25, at 6 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-868-3027 or visit Basic Word Computer Class is Tuesday, October 23, at 11 a.m. at universityhealth.org. the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

AWAKE Sleep Apnea Support Group meets Thursday, October 25, at 7 p.m. at GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center resource library. Call Web Search Techniques is Tuesday, October 23, from 2:30-4 p.m. at 706-721-0793 or visit georgiahealth.org. the Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. For more information about meetings, call Gerry Nail at Intro to Emailing Class is Tuesday, October 23, and Thursday, 706-855-8636.

October 25, from 6-7:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. For more information, call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org.

A War on the Earth: The Militarized Southeast and Atomic Appalachia, a lecture by Coleman Smith and Clare Hanrahan of Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. For more the New South Network of War Resisters hosted by Aiken Peace, information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706Tuesday October 23, at 7 p.m. at the Aiken Unitarian Universalist 774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org.

38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Church located,115 Gregg Avenue. Free and open to the public. The lecture will be preceded by Aiken Peace’s business meeting at 6:30 p.m. Call 803-215-3263.

The Joy of Signing meets each Thursday from 10:30 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by ASU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Mondays-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706737-1625 or visit aug.edu.

Work Networking Group is held each Monday from 8:30-10 a.m. at Grace United Methodist Church in North Augusta. A networking and informational meeting for anyone looking for a job, the group meets in room 206 of the Asbury Building and is facilitated by career and business professionals. Call 803-279-7525 or email doctor@ pritchardgroup.com.

Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

ESL classes are offered every Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Pre-registration required.

Call Charles Garrick at 803-279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org.

Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7366758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Benefit CRSA Christmas Outreach 2012, for those looking for financial assistance for children’s Christmas gifts, is accepting applications through Thursday, October 18, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Carrie J. Mays Family Life Center. Those interested need to bring verification of income, picture ID for adults in the household, and birth certificates, Social Security cards or current Medicaid card for each child in the household. Call 706-364-6484.

Symphony of Wine: Brew with a View, a benefit for Symphony Orchestra Augusta, is Thursday, October 18, at 7 p.m. at the Richmond on Greene. The event features live bluegrass, hors d’oeuvres, a beer and wine tasting and more. $50. Raffle tickets are $10 or $25 for three. Call 706-826-4719 or visit soaugusta.org.

The Lucky 13th: A Taste of Wine and Art, a benefit for the Aiken Center for the Arts, is Thursday, October 18 from 7-10 p.m. at the center, and will feature more than 23 Aiken restaurants and caterers, wine and beer, visual arts, live music, a silent auction and more. $50, ACA members; $53, non-members. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

The Fraternal Order Elks will be holding a yard sale at the lodge, 205 Elkdon Court in Martinez, Saturday, October 20, from 7 a.m.noon, rain or shine. Call 706-860-3232.

12th Annual Miracle Mile Walk is Saturday, October 20, at the Augusta Common, with registration beginning at 8 a.m. and the three-mile walk supporting those with breast cancer beginning at 9:30 a.m. Visit universityhealth.org.

Moving Day, the 13th Annual CSRA Parkinson Walk, is Saturday, October 20, at the Wilson Family Y from 9 a.m.-noon. The 18OCTOBER2012

V23|NO42

event features entertainment, a Movement Pavilion, food, information tables and prizes. Call 706-364-1662 or visit movingdayaugusta.org.

Bringing Home the Cure, a softball tournament to benefit the Augusta chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, is Saturday, October 20, at 9 a.m. at Boyd Pond Park in Aiken. $15 per person, with co-ed teams requiring 10 players (with at least two girls). Email colleen.carey3@gmail.com.

Party in Pink Zumbathon, to benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation, is Saturday, October 20, from 2-4 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $10. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item, which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

Sports-Outdoors ASU volleyball team plays Clark-Atlanta on Friday, October 19, at 2 p.m. and plays Queens at 7 p.m. Both games are at Christenberry Field House. Call 706-731-7925 or visit aug.edu.

Fred Lamback Disability Swim Meet, featuring more than 60 disabled swimmers from around the country, is Saturday-Sunday, October 20-21, beginning at 8:30 a.m. at the Augusta Aquatics Center. Visit swimasl.com.

Water Safety Class is Saturday, October 20, from 10:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

ASU volleyball team plays Erskine on Saturday, October 20, at 7 p.m. at Christenberry Field House. Call 706-731-7925 or visit aug. edu.

The Soul City Sirens take on the Sumter Fly Girls Sunday, October 21, at 6 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. $10. An Artists Market will be held from 2-5 p.m. in the parking lot before the bout. Visit soulcitysirens.com.

ASU volleyball team plays Montevallo on Tuesday, October 23, at 6 p.m. at Christenberry Field House. Call 706-731-7925 or visit aug.edu.

Fall Fest at Graystone Ranch Wildlife Education Center and Nature Park is going on through November 30, on Fridays and from 10 a.m.-midnight and Sundays from noon-midnight. the event includes a haunted hayride and fireworks over the lake through November 3, hiking, fishing, boat rides, exotic animal tours, petting zoos, a pumpkin patch, a hay maze, photos with the scarecrow, zip lines and more. $10. Visit graystoneranch.com.

Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. Free, members; $15, non-members. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch, 100 Wood Street in Augusta, adjacent to the Augusta GreenJackets’ stadium at Lake Olmstead. Experienced rugby players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome, and those interested should bring a pair of cleats (cross trainers will work) a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading.

BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson 18OCTOBER2012

Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Zumba Sentao and Zumba classes meet every Monday and Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. at the Aiken County Recreation Center on Jefferson Davis Highway in Graniteville, S.C. $6 per class, with coupons available. Call 706-627-1767.

Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-8265809 or visit alsalley@wrh.org.

Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered MondaySaturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878.

Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net.

Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com.

Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com.

Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and WednesdayFriday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

Kids-Teens School’s Out in the Library, featuring a showing of “The Avengers,” is Thursday, October 18, from noon-4 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. eBooks for Teens, a Teen Read Week activity for those ages 12-17, is Thursday, October 18, at 3 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

School Day Out at the Family Y, available at most branches, is Friday, October 19, and focuses on character development. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Scooby Doo: Spooky Tales is Friday, October 19, from 10:30-11:45 a.m. and 4-5:45 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Simply Science, a program for those ages 5 and up in which participants collect creek clay, create a miniature volcano and perform other science experiments, is Friday, October 19, from 4:30-5:30 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. Free, members; $2 per child, non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Zombie Sock Hop Movie: It Came From Outer Space, a YA-AL program for those ages 12-18, is Friday, October 19, at 5:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Camp Out at the Library, a Teen Read Week event that features an outdoor activity, Smores, warm drinks, crafts, ghost stories and more, is Friday, October 19, from 6-9 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Safe Sitter, a babysitting class for those ages 11-13, is Saturday, October 20, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Doctors Hospital.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net.

Teen Talk, a puberty class for those ages 9-12 and their mothers, is Saturday, October 20, from 10 a.m.-noon at Doctors Hospital.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net.

Zumba with Sohailla is every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com.

YA-AL Book Swamp and Alternate Ending Session is Saturday, October 20, at 3 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Book Swamp and Alternate Ending Session is Saturday, October 20, at 3 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, firstserved basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

Parents Night Out at the Family Y of Aiken County, for those ages 2-12, is Saturday, October 20, from 5:30-9 p.m. $12, members; $20, non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. For more information, visit augustastriders.com.

Hott Shott Disc Golf is each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf, 863 Broad Street, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf. blogspot.com/p/hott-shott.

Solar System Adventure Tour shows at 7 and 8 p.m. on Saturday, October 20, at USC-Aiken’s DuPont Planetarium. Call 803-6413564 or visit rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium.

The Birds, the Bees and Me, a class for girls ages 12-15 and their mothers, female relatives or friends on sexuality, peer pressure and responsible decision making, is Tuesday, October 23, from 6:30-9 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $10. Pre-registration required.

Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Kid’s Bellydancing Storytime Special with Kendra Colin is Wednesday, October 24, at 10 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library.

Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

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Spiritual The Jubal Chorus, the combined chorus of the Sons of Jubal and the Jubalheirs, performs Thursday, October 18, at 6:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. Free. Visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.

Bible Teaching Seminar, featuring the Samson and Delilah, is Saturday, October 20, from noon-1 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Participants should bring their Bibles. Visit donaldsao.com.

Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Volunteers United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803-641-0060 or email kathibault@uhs-pruitt. com.

5 kilometer Zombie-Filled Haunted Trail Run October 27 | First Heat 2 p.m.

Intersection of 3rd Avenue & 31st Bypass

Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties.

Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@uh.org.

Next to the Dinner Theatre | Check-in begins at noon

MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held Monday-Thursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email mparks37@ comcast.net or visit machacademy.com.

Before October 1 - $25 | October 2-19 - $30 October 20-Day of Event - $35

Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided.

Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@msa-corp.com.

Elsewhere Contra Dance in Columbia, S.C., is Saturday, October 20, at the Arsenal Hill Park Building, 1800 Lincoln Street, with a beginners workshop at 6:15 p.m., a new dancers workshop at 7 p.m. and the dance beginning at 7:30 p.m. Live music is by the Blue Ridge Rounders. $8. Call 803-7605881 or visit contracola.org.

Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-7334200 or visit high.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Registration: (must be 14 years of age or older)

Includes: Event T-shirt, Beverage Ticket and Admission* to Apocalypse Party

Apocalypse Party End of final heat until 10 p.m.

Featuring Live Music and Cold Drinks Party FREE to all 5k participants & spectators with armbands $5 for those without armbands Register by calling 706-791-4300 or email

Zombie5kfortgordon@yahoo.com Visit www.fortgordon.com for Rules & Regulations (including Awards’s details)

*Includes up to 4 armbands, 1 for participant and 3 for their spectators

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ANDYSTOKES

Same Impala?

No retread jokes necessary for Aussie band’s sophomore release

TAME IMPALA Tame Impala, “Lonerism” (Modular) — On “Innerspeaker,” its debut two years ago, this Aussie quartet did something that had been previously thought impossible by its revivalist compatriots: despite an obviously enviable collection of tube amps, vintage snares and Vanilla Fudge LPs, the band managed to give us a wholly original release, a fence-straddling fusion of throwback aesthetic (think of the wardrobe of Hendrix’s band on the cover of “Are You Experienced?”) that didn’t just create music “in the style of (insert the first ‘70s band you can think of whose drummer had an transparent, acrylic drumset and whose guitarists had a wall of amps you could see from space),” but instead used those vintage tones over the framework of a hazy songwriting style that was immediately catchy, unmistakably modern and where the human voice was just another layer in a dense, foggy mix.

Yet the obvious threat of a repeat curse (“Same Impala” jokes were at the ready), or of tapping the creative well altogether loomed essentially on a sliding scale with a listener’s opinion of the debut: The better you thought “Innerspeaker” was, the greater the danger that it would be a masterpiece that depleted its maker’s vast creative deposits.

But as “Lonerism” proves, Tame Impala is capable of much more than a single homage period piece. Bringing in Dave Friddman of Flaming Lips and Mercury Rev production notoriety, as well as replacing much of reverb-laden guitar wash for a poppier, synthedover approach, brings a band that once echoed from down the hall into the same room as the listener, front and center. While this result won’t exactly please anyone who is looking for a triplicate copy of “Innerspeaker,” it certainly brings Tame Impala down from the clouds (it’s more McCartney than Lennon) and opens the band up to the potential of a much wider audience — which, again, may not please all those who have been fans since the beginning, but it certainly shows a band growing, maturing and exploring a soundscape that still has worlds left uncharted. **** Muse, “The 2nd Law” (Warner Brothers) — As with most bands that start off in the dregs and slowly evolve into something commercially enterpriseable, there is a vast amount of info out there on Muse that, depending on your source, labels the band as either the one thing that is right about the music industry today (that a band can strive, even “infiltrate” the system, with an unmistakably unique and nonconforming sound) or that the group is just another of Radiohead’s unwanted children, left to fend for itself and ultimately mature into its own sound. But whereas Coldplay congealed into a milquetoast version of “The Bends” on infinite repeat, Travis made its first record a few more times and Elbow essentially dove deeper into the murk of its sound almost out of defiance to the Radiohead comparisons, Muse took a path no one could’ve predicted — the Brit trio ended up sounding like a prog-rock version of Queen only without all the catchy hooks.

This unlikely sonic fate struck a chord with the younger, low-hanging fruit of U2’s fanbase (the ones who liked “Zooropa”), and Muse ran with it and never looked back, especially to their relatively unadventurous first two records.

Sad, too, since there’s usually something salvageable, even in the late-era Muse compendium. That’s not the case here — even the most ardent Muse disciple (if there is such a thing as anything other than a passive fan of this group) would have a frustrating time extracting anything memorable from “The 2nd Law.” Instead, listeners, most of whom probably jumped on board during the arena rock “Absolution”/”Black Holes” era and are expecting another record to eventually play Guitar Hero along with, are rewarded with a disjointed collection of songs that occasionally sounds like a throwback to the bass-driven anthems on “Origin of Symmetry,” but more often comes off as a synth-heavy, dance-oriented trope.

In short, if this had been Muse’s debut release, they’d have probably been ultimately remembered as a one-album band. ** ***** — Sell a kidney before sundown and go buy this today. **** — Pretty great, but let’s not get crazy here. *** — If you consider this a masterpiece your life probably sucks. ** — Memorable for all the wrong reasons. * — Only listen to if receiving monetary compensation to do so.

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Thursday, October 18 Live Music Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves & The Coyotes Band French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Jerod Gay Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - Same As It Ever Was (Talking Heads Tribute) Somewhere in Augusta - County Line The Willcox - Classic Jazz Wild Wing - Tiki Barflys What’s Tonight?

Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Soup, Suds & Trivia Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Villa Europa - Karaoke

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Friday, October 19 Live Music 100 Laurens - Mike Frost Duo 1102 - Cameras, Guns & Radio, Jesup Dolly Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise - The Henry’s Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Country Club - Ryan West Band Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves & The Coyotes Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Grace Baptist Church - Big Daddy Weave Imperial Theatre - Dailey & Vincent Joe’s Underground - Starr & Grooveline The Loft - Los Bastardos Magnificos, Brownbird Rudy Relic PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Polo Tavern - Robbie Ducey Band Sector 7G - TFS Rave: Superhero Showdown w/ DJs LinearNorth and Polyphase Sky City - Blackberry Smoke Somewhere in Augusta - Mama Says Stillwater Tap Room - Devils in Disguise Wild Wing - Tony Williams Band The Willcox - John Vaughn What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - Heartless DJs Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - Pop Life Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

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Saturday, October 20 Live Music 100 Laurens - Brent Lendy 1102 - The Suex Effect The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cotton Patch - Happy Bones Country Club - Kurt Thomas Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves & The Coyotes Band Joe’s Underground - Chris Hardy Malibu Jack’s - Preston & Weston Parliament House - Rock Cub Music, Kendall Kelly P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Josh Hilley Band Sector 7G - We Killed the Dinosaurs Sky City - Modern Skirts, the District Attorneys, Tedo Stone 18OCTOBER2012

Soul Bar - Joy Division Tribute Band & Eat Lightening Wild Wing - Irritating Julie What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke with Beth Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Wheels - Live DJ

Smoke Up

Willie Nelson heads to the Bell. Call me, Willie?

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Sunday, October 21 Live Music 5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice (brunch) Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session w/ Preston & Weston Wild Wing - Keith Gregory What’s Tonight?

Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

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Monday, October 22 Live Music Shannon’s - Open Mic Night What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tournaments Wild Wing - Trivia

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Tuesday, October 23 Live Music First Round - Open Mic Night The Highlander - Open Mic Night Sky City - The Chris Robinson Brotherhood The Willcox - Piano Jazz Wild Wing - Keith Gregory What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia

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Wednesday, October 24 Live Music Joe’s Underground - Kathleen Turner Overdrive Malibu Jack’s - Mike Swift Wild Wing - Erik Smallwood What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - DJ Mike Swift Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ Stuart-Davis Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey

Luckily for my job, I’m able to go to bars and music venues and still call it work. To actually get paid for drinking and enjoying live entertainment is the biggest perk anyone could ask for; I mean, if you like that kind of thing. Whether I’m paid to or not, I do my best each week to go somewhere new or somewhere I haven’t been in a long time.

Luckily on Saturday night, I was live for 95 Rock at the bar First Round. It was for Rock Loud and Proud for Cancer, where proceeds went to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The night was a huge success, with a ton of great local music. To say the crowd at First Round was lively is an understatement. Not only inside, but the crowd outside of the bar was just as entertaining. From the occasional drunk passerby, to a lady named Pancakes showing me her flapjacks, the place was packed and fun on Saturday. Allan, the owner of First Round, wants to support local rock music in a fun place. Stop in for a beer, or six. First Round is on 11th Street, downtown Augusta, behind the Metro Coffeehouse.

Confession time: surprisingly to a lot of people, I don’t do drugs. Not even the drugs that are really not drugs and should be legalized. But when I heard that Willie Nelson was coming to Augusta, my first thought was, “How cool would it be to smoke a joint and talk music with Willie Nelson?” Again, I’m not promoting the use of illegal drugs, but even a DEA agent would have to say that would be pretty cool.

The legendary country music star will be taking the stage at the Bell Auditorium Tuesday, December 4, and tickets go on sale Friday, October 19.

My favorite line from Willie Nelson: “I remember when a dime bag only cost a dime.” Oh yeah, and “Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.”

Now that one I really agree with. This will be one of the shows to cross off my list. There was Ozzy, Alice in Chains, Ace of Base and now Willie Nelson. I promise I don’t do drugs. Does anyone have the personal contact information for Willie Nelson?

Has everyone heard the new track from the Rolling Stones? The single is called “Doom and Gloom” and it’s awesome. When the news came out that the Stones were putting out new music I rolled my eyes, but I love this track. Get to some downloading and start saving your money. The band has announced a couple live shows in London and Newark, and has now hinted at a full tour next year.

From past ticket prices, you should get ready to spend your kid’s college fund.

Let’s play a fun game called “What’s in Matt’s CD player?” Technically a CD has been stuck in my CD player for the past five months, but you get where I’m going with this. To no surprise, I am listening to the new record from Muse, “The 2nd Law.” I couldn’t recommend this more. Sometimes overthought, the band has released an album that is far from the norm. This is probably where I go most in my musical choices these days; something that just sounds different. With hints of Queen and, unfortunately, Skrillex, lead singer Matt Bellamy and the rest of the guys in Muse are making some of the best music out today. It also helps that their live performances are ridiculously good. My favorite tracks on “The 2nd Law” are “Big Freeze” and “Save Me,” both of which aren’t sung by Matt, the lead singer, but sung by bass player Christopher Wolstenholme. When asked why they waited this long to let Chris sing on an album, they replied, “He quit drinking.” The band has just announced the first run of North American tour dates and it looks like Georgia and the Carolinas were cut out of this one.

There are three dates in Florida. Anyone up for a road trip?

What bands are you listening to? What bars are you checking out? Puff puff, give? Email me at matt@themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.

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Suck It Up It’s just tennis, ladies. Don’t take it so seriously.

I play tennis a lot. It’s really my only form of exercise, so I don’t feel bad about it. It may not be as effective as running or a triathlon, but I enjoy it.

Accountability is the biggest thing. If I don’t show up, the others can’t play.

I didn’t have to learn a new skill, either. I played growing up, so after a few months of ugly tennis, I felt like I sort of knew what I was doing.

That being said, I try not to take it too seriously. Sure, it’s a competitive sport, with scores and everything. I’d rather win, but if I don’t, I probably won’t think about it once I’m off the court. I may wonder what I could’ve done better and take a lesson or remember something stupid my opponent did, but tennis probably won’t affect my day.

It did once. It was the fall of ’89. We were in seventh grade. Our neighborhood tennis team (go Neely Farm!) made it to the city finals. A friend’s uncle let us borrow his limo, so we could ride to the match in style.

Who cares that it was a ’70s Caddy Fleetwood in a handsome burgundy with matching interior? We knew we were fancy. We even had coordinating shirts and side ponytails.

We all played our matches, and I remember it being close. It came down to the very last team playing. After everyone finished, we waited, as patiently as teenage girls can wait, for the officials to total the scores.

The other team won. We cried.

Out moms tried to console us, but it didn’t work. We started adding the numbers in our head and couldn’t understand how the other team came out ahead. According to our numbers, it should’ve been a tie. Mandi, a dear friend and one of the most competitive (and she wins a lot!) people I know, offered our evidence. So we waited again.

It was a tie. In our books, we won. We cried again.

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After a limo trip through the drive thru at McDonald’s (we thought we were sooooo funny. I’m sure the McD’s employees did not agree), we drove around town celebrating our “win.” We were only about 12 years old, so that was pretty much the biggest thing to happen to any of us.

I guess maybe that’s why tennis doesn’t matter as much anymore. I mean, I’m not getting paid to play. I’d assume that some of my opponents are, though. With the way they get so mad about a loss or are so particular about rules, it seems they might need a few more hobbies.

There is a standing rule regarding cell phones. I get it, I really do. They are disruptive during match play. Just as phones shouldn’t ring during weddings, they don’t have a place on the courts. However. Many of us are young mothers with school-aged children. If the phone is on silent, what’s the harm in checking for missed calls or messages when we change sides? Oh, that’s right. We could maybe possibly be receiving coaching tips. Listen, lady, any coaching tips I’d get over the phone wouldn’t help anyway. None of my friends scolded over this rule planned to use it for evil. They even warned their opponent of a sick child and asked permission to glance every so often.

Many were told a blatant no. That must be a big paycheck you’re getting. It’s just like we’re at the U.S. Open, except that we’re not.

For the most part, I just don’t understand the seriousness of it all. It’s recreational tennis. It’s fun and good exercise, and nobody’s asking for my autograph.

Another thing I find hilarious is the trend to shorten the scoring system. If you’re unfamiliar with tennis, the scoring goes love (which equals zero), 15, 30, 40 and game. For years, people have shortened 15 to just 5. I’m even guilty of that. So the scoring, if only one team earned a point, would now be love, 5, 30, 40, game. Tennis scores haven’t ever made much sense, but at least it still goes in order.

Fast forward to today, the days of acronyms and too-busy people. They (meaning serious-ish tennis players but not pros) have shortened the score again. Now it’s love, 5 (15), 3 (30), 4 (40), game. Now that doesn’t even make sense. I know. It’s just oh-so-exhausting to say the whole score. FIF-TEEN. THIR-TY. FOR-TY. Phew. I’m wrecked.

Enjoy tennis for what it is: a hobby and a fun way to exercise. If you’re fortunate enough to win, then good for you! If not, go drink a beer. If you still can’t get over your loss, have two. Or THIR-TY.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 47

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706.736.4044 803.642.3779 Copyright © 2012 by CSRA Air Inc. All Rights Reserved.

V23|NO42

SIGHTINGS

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Simone Kingman and Joe Abarno with Charisse and Mike Mann at the 20th Annual Festival Hispano at the Augusta Common.

Alex Rohlfing, Andria Tagarelli, Mandy Irizarry and Krystin Wahlig at the Augusta Greek Festival 2012 at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church.

Vanessa and Edgar Lozada, Penny Rosario and Maria Oliveras at the 20th Annual Festival Hispano at the Augusta Common.

SIGHTINGS

Cody Stringfield, Ashten Johnson and Chase Stringfield at the Gregg Allman concert at the Bell Auditorium.

Gregg Allman, Susanna Jenkins and Sharon Jenkins at the Gregg Allman concert at the Bell Auditorium.

SIGHTINGS

Marc Carmosino, Jessica Moore and Laura Story at the Augusta Greek Festival 2012 at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church.

Katie Cullum, Anna McKettrick, Amber Burdette and Rhonda Mathis at the Country Club.

Adam Marquardt, Jennifer Smith, Mike Greene and Alex Greene at the Gregg Allman concert at the Bell Auditorium.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Casey Bargeron, Lauren Stalcup and Megan Cook at the Country Club.

- Kenny, Owner of Aces and Eights Tattoo & Piercing

18OCTOBER2012

AUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 49

THE

EIGHT

V23|NO41

BOX TOPS

Really? You’d rather see a retread of the first movie that a probable best picture nominee? Suit yourself.

RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

TAKEN 2

$21,873,127

$86,131,979

2

1

2

ARGO

$19,458,109

$19,458,109

1

-

3

SINISTER

$18,007,934

$18,007,934

1

-

4

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA

$17,241,317

$102,133,934

3

2

5

HERE COMES THE BOOM

$11,816,596

$11,816,596

1

-

“Argo”

SAMEIFLING

It’s not perfect, but this hostage drama is still a pretty great movie It’s red state/blue state season, in which your in-laws become idiots, you stop talking to your neighbors and Twitter turns into a mirrored dungeon of smarmy invective. Everyone, look. The formula for healing is simple. Shut up and go see “Argo,” then adjourn for beers.

Ben Affleck’s third directorial effort might be his best, even if it does also star Ben Affleck. He plays Tony Mendez, a real person who worked for the CIA. In 1979, when Iranian demonstrators overran the U.S. Embassy in Tehran, nearly all the staffers there were taken hostage. “Argo” follows the six Americans who slipped out and took refuge at the Canadian ambassador’s house, prompting Mendez to devise a way to slip them out of the country before they were captured and subjected to untold unpleasantries.

Mendez’s scheme, actually attempted in early 1980, was to pose as a Canadian filmmaker scouting locations to shoot a science fiction flick, and to shepherd the six Americans out on Canadian passports as members of his ersatz crew. What results, in “Argo,” might constitute the most accessible true-life CIA movie ever, and one of the most pleasing. The only piece of jargon you need to know might be “exfil,” short for exfiltration (infiltration’s ejector-seat sibling). Otherwise, it’s all middlebrow candy.

Even if Affleck’s Mendez evinces little of the chimerical charisma it no doubt takes to waltz into hostile countries and talk your way out through the front door, the supporting cast is a hoot. Bryan Cranston, as a CIA middle manager, is bruskly hilarious. John Goodman as the Hollywood makeup artist John Chambers, who helped build the veneer of credibility the fake movie project “Argo” needed to appear real, is likewise fantastic, as is Alan Arkin as his producer counterpart. Together they constitute some comic relief for the dark, taut Tehran side of the tale, all cabin fever and near-captures.

Now, for anyone enthralled more by facts than by manufactured movie drama, you’ll have to bear the cinematic equivalent of MSG that Affleck sprinkles throughout. In real life, the airport episode went appreciably more smoothly than “Argo” depicts. For all that Arkin’s character brings to the film — his performance has the quick punch of his Oscar-winning “Little

50 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Miss Sunshine” turn — he was invented by screenwriter Chris Terrio, who adapted the 2007 Wired article in which Joshuah Bearman broke the (recently declassified) story of the original operation.

And while the news media in 1980 hailed the Canadians’ efforts in the caper (the CIA does tend to deflect credit for its projects, after all) the operational role that Canadians played was far larger than “Argo” suggests. For the purposes of your two hours at the cinema, that’s fine; the final narrative is already full, and Canada comes out looking plenty heroic. I watched “Argo” in a theater in British Columbia, and when the end credits rolled, the audience applauded. It was easy to see why. The movie was all kinds of entertaining, and warmly dualnation patriotic.

Heck, even the Iranians are portrayed respectably. Their fury over American support of Shaw Mohammad Reza comes across as ultimately justified. This America of ours, she is not perfect. Nor is “Argo.” But if you can tolerate the former, you’ll probably dig the latter.

11OCTOBER2012

OCTOBER 19

V23|NO41

MYSTERY

“Alex Cross,” rated PG-13, starring Tyler Perry, Matthew Fox, Edward Burns. Tyler Perry starring in a movie not directed by Tyler Perry and with a name that doesn’t include “Tyler Perry’s”. Hate to say it, by the Mayans may be onto something.

HORROR

“Paranormal Activity 4,” rated R, starring Katie Featherston. Even if you’ve seen the previous three movies, the plot of this one might have you scratching your head. But a plausible plot is probably not what you’re looking for if you pay money to see this one, so just sit back and enjoy the ride.

DRAMA

“The Sessions,” rated R, starring John Hawkes, Helen Hunt, William H. Macy. A hit at the Sundance Film Festival, Helen Hunt plays a sex surrogate hired by a man in an iron lung who wants to lose his virginity. Swear to god.

WERECOMMEND “Beerfest”

Yes, it’s stupid, juvenile and crass, but this 2006 comedy written by the Broken Lizard comedy troupe and starring its members is also laugh-out-loud funny. The story is a simple one of vengeance: Two brothers who own the Schnitz & Giggles restaurant in the states take their grandfather’s ashes back to Germany to fulfill the man’s wish to have them scattered during Oktoberfest. While there, they stumble upon Beefest, a secret, annual competition. There, they and their whole family are humiliated and the brothers vow to avenge their good name the next year by seeking out beer-drinking buddies and forming a proper team. The Broken Lizard boys — Jay Chandrasekhar (also the director), Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter and Erik Stolhanske — are by no means great actors, but they more than make up for their lack of skills with a commitment to pulling off gags, no matter how lame they might be. It also helps that they surround themselves with actors who can pick up the slack. Cloris Leachman as Great Gam Gam, who may or may not have been a whore in her younger days (okay… she was), delivers double-entendres like nobody’s business and Mo’Nique is hilarious as Cherry, a spy for the Germans. One of the best scenes in the movie, in fact, is when Cherry seduces a drunk Barry (Chandrasekhar). The real versus beer goggles version of the seduction has to be seen to be believed. By the end of the movie, you may not really care if the boys win Beerfest, but you’ll have a great time getting there. Here’s to Das Boot!

11OCTOBER2012

1 1-/ ÊUÊÎäÎxÊ7 - /" Ê,"

ÇäÈ ÎÈ{ 7 ÊUÊÊ7 7 7° 7 7 ° " AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 51

V23|NO41

AMYCHRISTIAN

For the Love of Cooking

Todd Schafer returns to Bistro 491 with changes in mind TAME IMPALA

In the three years that Bistro 491 owner and chef Todd Schafer was away from Augusta, much has changed in the local restaurant scene. Local, organic and artisanal are buzzwords in the industry, and restaurants tend to be less formal.

The thing is, these trends have been around a lot longer than most diners are aware.

“What people are doing now, this local, organic emphasis, we were doing that before. I sought out farmers. I sought out the best products I could find.

Hell, I went to Boston to find a fish purveyor,” Schafer said. “I think now it’s more on everyone’s mind.”

Schafer opened Bistro 491 in Surrey Center in 1999 and headed to Winston-Salem, North Carolina, with his family exactly 10 years later so that his wife Pascha, a cardiologist, could pursue a residency there.

“It was a great opportunity for Pascha because she went to one of the best places in the country for that type of medicine,” he explained. “And it was just time for something different.”

So Schafer left the restaurant in the hands of his stepfather Henry and did…

“Nothing,” he laughed. “Well, not nothing. I gardened. I grew things and we had a baby. We have a little 20-monthold named Bonnie. So that was my primary position: grocery getting, taking Lila [the couple’s 7-year-old] to school. Which was great because I didn’t get to do that. I never saw either of the kids when they were babies. I just didn’t have the time.”

Schafer also has a 14-year-old daughter, Isabella, from a previous marriage.

He may have been away from his restaurant, but he was never far from a kitchen.

52 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“I cooked at home but it was ghetto cooking,” he said. “I used the least amount of pots and pans that I could. If I could cook the whole meal on the grill I would do it. In a second.”

It’s a far cry from the kind of cooking Schafer was accustomed to when he worked at restaurants in California.

So when he returned to his hometown of Augusta from the west coast, he brought what he had learned.

“Everything there was so ingredient driven,” he said. “It was about the quality of the product you used. It was a great time for me because I was so young. I was young when we opened. In 1999 I was 28.”

Schafer said he found out quickly how different being a restaurant owner was from simply being a chef.

“People always asked me when I knew that I wanted to open my own restaurant, and I just never thought about it that way,” he said. “For me it’s always been about cooking.

I don’t think I even recognized until the second year that it was going to be rough. The first year went by so fast.”

Bistro 491 quickly made a name for itself as one of the best fine-dining establishments in the city, winning awards left and right and gaining new diners by word of mouth. One of the restaurant’s greatest strengths has been its consistency but now, since he’s been back, Schafer says he sees a staleness in that consistency.

“The competition has come in and did what we were doing,” he explained. “We haven’t changed anything, and I think that may be part of the problem.”

The other part of the problem, he says, is the change in the economy. Before the downturn, being seen as a spot to go for a celebration worked to the Bistro’s advantage.

Now? Not so much.

“Now, people are so much more conscious about money, probably because they don’t have any, that they perceive value in different ways,” he said. “And I think that’s what’s happened to us. People perceive us as a special occasion place.”

How, then, to change people’s perceptions? It’s something Schafer says he’s been working on since he and his family returned to town two months ago. He’s changed and tweaked the menu 20 times in those two months, has been toying with the idea of renovating the dining room and, because of skyrocketing food prices, has been looking for different ingredients.

“I’ve been trying to get away from that stock and those heavy sauces; just lightening things up. And I’m trying to make us more value conscious. In order to give that value to the customer, we have to use the ingredients more thoughtfully,” Schafer said. “And that’s hard for me because I never cared what anything cost. I never shopped prices. The kitchen was my lab, it was my place. I could do whatever I wanted. Now I’m having to rethink all that and be smarter about it.”

The first aspect of the restaurant to receive Schafer’s scrutinizing was the wine list, which will roll out in the next few weeks. Whereas the Bistro’s wine list formerly contained close to 250 wines with names like Lafite and other fine Bordeauxs, the new one, he says, will be “small, manageable and constantly changing.”

“We want to always be looking for that bottle that’s a great value, that tastes great but is off the beaten path,” he explained. “I’m looking at wineries with 5,000-case productions or less and we’ll have no wines that are available in grocery stores or are prominent in retail. They’re more artisan, like we are, and smaller. It’s about 50 bottles, so it’s about a quarter of the size of what we used to have.”

It’s a narrowing of the focus, something Schafer is applying not just to wine, but to the menu as well. It’s a delicate balancing act to try and maintain the reputation that Bistro 491 worked hard to earn while offering diners something new. And if Schafer didn’t love being in the kitchen so much, he might not want to take on the challenge.

Fortunately for Augusta, he definitely loves what he does.

“We’re struggling with our identity,” Schafer admitted. “I still know who I am, cooking wise. It’s never been about anything but the cooking. If I didn’t have this love of it, this thought process — how it works, why it works — I wouldn’t do it.”

“It’s almost like a compulsion I think,” he said, smiling.

“It’s terrible.”

11OCTOBER2012

V23|NO41

VALERIEEMERICK

Pilgrimage

Far-flung troupe graces Kroc Center stage for one night only

The Salvation Army Territorial Creative Arts Ensemble performs “The Pilgrim’s Progress” one night only, this Saturday, October 20, at 7 p.m.

“The play is written by Christopher Morgan and is an adaption of the classic novel ‘The Pilgrim’s Progress’ which has been around forever and was written by John Bunyan,” says Roberta Simmons-Smith, the creative arts director for the Southern territory. “We wanted to choose something that had a Christian message to it, a redeeming value to it, while at the same time not threatening. We wanted to attract the general public and the community, and that book is a well-known book. It’s kind of like ‘The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe,’ it has Christian undertones without having blatant references to Christianity.”

It’s also an easy play for audience members to digest, despite the number of characters it contains.

“It’s a two-act play and it has 56 characters, but there’s only eight of us in the cast,” she explains. “Each actor plays about five or six characters each. It’s pretty exciting.”

Having the cast portray so many different characters is a daunting task in itself, but to complicate matters further, since the ensemble is culled from Salvationists from all 15 of the Southern states, this year’s ensemble is made up of people from Florida, Kentucky, Tennessee and Georgia.

“Because the team comes from such diverse places,” says Simmons-Smith, “they’ve memorized the play and we come together for the first time on Wednesday to put the play together and then we perform it on Saturday night.”

The Salvation Army’s Southern Territorial Creative Arts Ensemble is based in Atlanta, but, fortunately, modern technology makes it easy to audition actors from all over the South.

“It’s a video audition only,” explains Simmons-Smith.

11OCTOBER2012

“For instance, our 2013 season is auditioning right now, and so we’re receiving videos via an online website that we have and they audition with a song, dance and a monologue. We base our membership on a panel who then looks at those videos and then the membership is chosen.”

Once the ensemble is selected, they perform in three events during their annual season. This season, the Kroc Center was selected to host one of these three events.

“We always try to support the Salvation Army churches within the Southern territory, so we only have three events that this group performs in a year,” says Simmons-Smith.

“We are just in awe… just within our own Salvation Army realm with what the Kroc in Augusta is doing and we want to support that, so we called them up and asked them if they’d be willing to host us for a weekend at our expense.

The Kroc Center, obviously, accepted and the ensemble, she says, has been pleasantly surprised by the space.

“The theater space [at the Kroc Center] is just amazing and we don’t require that when we perform, so it’s something we’re not totally used to,” she says. “We have to kind of fit into a box when we go and perform places usually, but this is a quality theater environment at the Kroc so we’re really excited about it. The process starts about six to 12 months in advance just setting up the venue and they were excited to have us, so we just wanted to support the Kroc. All proceeds [from the performance] go straight back into the Kroc.”

“The Pilgrim’s Progress” The Kroc Center| Saturday, October 20 | 7 p.m. | $5 706-364-5762 | krocaugusta.org AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 53

WHINE

LINE Keep working. Millions on welfare depend on you.

Is it just me or is everyone too distracted by the dreadful “GRU” name change to pay attention to the merger itself and how something shady may be going on behind the scenes? Things just don’t seem to be adding up and nobody is talking about it.

Just drove by The Sanctuary (a church) in Evans where there was a big red, white, and blue sign proclaiming “Vote biblical not political”. Maybe this church needs to brush up on the whole separation of church and state concept or better yet maybe they just need to start paying taxes.

So the sanctimonious Austin Rhodes makes a weak admission that “both sides were right” on desegregation. Except that whites, including his parents, were happy with the “separate and unequal” status quo. How so? After Judge Ruffin rocked the boat, all the white racists rushed to

private schools. Blacks were expected to shut up and endure inferior schools, while “suburban kids” were not to be “subjected to the conditions of the inner city”. Rhodes never suggests that whites, had they been truly righteous, could have simply demanded redrawing of districts and equal funding, as a way to avoid busing. But that would have meant giving in to “those people”.

And the real reason that most whites, including the hypocritical Rhodes, do not support the President is simple. Hint: It’s his RACE. To the guy ripping matt and sanj of 95rock a new one. Put on your skinny jeans and crank up some maroon 5 if you can’t handle the rock!

I don’t get the Adam Sandler thing, either. But, he’s way wealthier than I am. I am college educated and Honey-Boo-Boo and her family seem to contribute more to society than my degree.

This is for those who feel that change in the economy hasn’t happened fast enough sense Obama took office. Try to liken all this to weight loss. If you have lost weight or yo-yo dieted, you will get this. If one loses weight very fast, as a rule, the weight comes back, often more so. But,

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

V23|NO41

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

if you cut back on the fat, etc. and slowly start exercising you will not feel deprived and increase the exercise and decrease more fat calories and the weight loss continues. If you are quite heavy, you will have years of work. Even worse, you will have ‘friends’ that don’t won’t you to succeed.

Think about it!

Okay Women of America, you’ve seen a taste of Romney/Ryan’s opinion of you - you have no rights and are pretty much chattal when it comes to your reproductive system, you won’t be a worry to them if you are in the 47%, and your children will be deprived of Sesame Street. Come on Ladies take control of your situation!!

About the child making the Anti Bullying website; How can a school kick a child out for what they do in their private life? And better yet, how can they kick their siblings out?

The self proclaimed #1 in the market is relative.

The #1 Austin Rhodes rarely has more than 2,000 people tuning in at any one time. Big fish.

Itty bitty pond.

I read where the Queen Mother { the mayor} and her ten children wants to tax again, there is help comming. the feds are looking very hard at augusta.

Shame on Renee Dean, she can speak up and claim foul against her daughter yet did not claim foul against Scott. She knew what was happening, seems like Renee is only interested in protecting herself. Poor kids, got brought over here to be put through all of this.

In regards to the Daily Deal 10/9 for DARK ENERGY INK TATTOOS with an attractive woman covered with tattoos from her shoulder to her hands! Really? Yeah, let’s encourage young women to put permanent markings all over their body so they can REALLY have a hard time getting a great job or career that pays good money. It’s hard enough already in Augusta, GA. Put the tattoos on places where you can cover them up. But all over your arms? Gross, especially when you start aging and the skin turns to crepe paper. What a bad idea, August Daily Deal.

Aaaauuugghhh! I can’t believe how Marion Williams will try to skewer, downright lie, about what he supposedly did while he ruined not only my district 2 but also the commission work.

Harold Jones was a very capable solicitor so we need him to take over District 9 to really have another sane and sensible person on the commission.

Happy Halloween

Weird, Wild and Wacky Foods

Ca Calling C alling all al a l ghosts, ll gho g ho ost ts, s, goblins go g ob o blins b lins and li an a nd spoo spooky sp po oo o oky ky li l little it i ittle tt t tle chefs! t tle ch c chefs hefs hefs! h s! ! Join Jo J o n us oin us as a s we we create crea r creepy cree cre r epy py Halloween H alloween allo lloween oween een trea treats, r a s, lik like e meringue m ringue gue e ghosts gho gho os sts st s t and breadstick b readstick r eadstick adstick a dstick bones! bo b on nes! s! s !D Don't Do o' forget f or rget get e your et yo your "Mad " "M Ma ad d Scientist" Scient S cien ntist ti ist" s " chef c chef hat h ha at be because ec ca cause au ause a us use u se we we will wi w ill il ll al also al lso so perform p pe rform r rfor form orm or rm crazy c cra ra r az zy y Hallo Halloween H Hal alloween a loween experiments, ex e xperiments, xp xperiments per perim periments r en nts, ts, t s, such s c as su as glow-in-the-dark glow-in-the-dark low-in-the-d ow-in-the-dark ww-in-th -in-the-dark in the d in da ark a rk ic icing! icing icin ic g Learn L earn arn n the th he e tricks trick t tri icks ck b behind ehind all a l these ll th t he hese es se haunting ha h au a un u unting nt ti tin ing in treats treats ats a ts t sa and an nd more! more! r!

Class is $50 per student and will be held on October 27 from 9am - 2pm. Class includes kitchen instruction, snack, lunch, recipes and treats to take home!

Don't be spooked and miss it! Hurry!

Space is limited! Call 706-860-3492 for more information.

54 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

11OCTOBER2012

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