Metro Spirit 10.27.2011 by Metro Spirit

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Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 JoeWhite|publisher-sales manager AmyChristian|production director joe@themetrospirit.com amy@themetrospirit.com GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

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Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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TABLE of CONTENTS

whine line - TOM TOMORROW - INSIDER - AUSTIN RHODES metro - RUFFIN’ IT - AUGUSTA TEK - NY TIMES CROSSWORD are you not entertained - CALENDAR metro augusta parent the8 - SIGHTINGS - CUISINE SCENE - ART 45 - FREE WILL ASTROLOGY - NEWS OF THE WEIRD slab - IN MUSIC - EARDRUM - BALL - ADVICE GODDESS - JENNY IS WRIGHT

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621 nw frontage road, augusta, ga 30907 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

WHINELINE Hats off to you investigative folks at Metro Spirit! So glad you made sure to expose the shenanigans of the hateful Kent. Plus to make sure that newbies realize he plagarized and then had to exit the media eyes. Boo hiss boo on Gov. Deal for assigning him anything to do with immigration. THat’s like siccing a fox in a hen house. So glad to hear businesses can be smoke-free! I’m sick of polluting my lungs. Surely ye jest, Rhodes. E-money is pretty laughable. First off, the Pentagon has been hacked, credit card companies have been hacked, credit score companies have been hacked, and many major banks have been hacked as well, and you think it is a credible idea to lump it all ‘money’ together electronically? It is a recipe for the biggest hack job in the history of the internet. Get real. The secondary offshoot of such a lamebrain idea would also create a huge black market for paper money and the transactions it would allow. Oh, I forgot the billions, possibly trillions, it would entail to get such a risky system up and running. “Hate” is politically correct. so what’s your problem? in regards to the Miller story. This is just another example of taxationwithout-representation. Funding by SPLOST design and management of the funds by a private club. Beautiful. Three things for the persistent loser at the bar: No, no one believed your ‘package’ was that big. Even if it was, it’s like a Master’s ticket; it doesn’t make you a champion. . . or even a golfer. Finally; sorry, love, it was

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

the straights who blew you off; the “dykes” were flirting just to screw with you. Is it just me or is the newly moved, now in HD WJBF station channel 6 worse? I agree with the person commenting on the no caucasian event planned for jobs. We all need help. I am a white educated female trying to find a decent job that pays well and it has been no easy task. Also everyone is always yelling about the devision of races. Well, if you keep having seperate functions for the races THAT is what causes division. There should not be a specialty scholarship just because of your race. Everyone should get equal treatment, right? Really disappointed in your coverage of the Riverhawks. We actually have a good team in town that is opening their second season after almost winning the championship and a band that noone cares about gets the cover? Dumb. Were you talking about me when you said “whines full of hate”? Let me explain something to your narrow minded ignorant ass. When I gripe about racially bias programs that exclude whites, it’s not HATE, it’s despair. When I Complain about bedroom slippers at a grocery store, it’s not HATE, it’s disgust. When I comment on fat women in spandex or your sons pants sagging off his ass, it’s not HATE, it’s shame for what our society has turned into. But when you insinuate I’m wrong for voicing my opinion, and ASSume that my dislikes are equal to hate, it IS HATE, for you.

Antebellum “redneck country bumpkin” fans in the Augusta area - your response proves the point of the original whine. You mention not ever hearing of any big rock acts coming to Augusta. Do you remember any of these bands coming to town: Disturbed, Sevendust, Saliva, Halestorm, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Clutch, Skindred, Drowning Pool, Cage the Elephant, Saving Abel, 10 Years, Aranda, Adelita’s Way, Sick Puppies, Crossfade, Egypt Central, and the list goes on and on. These are chart topping rock bands playing shows across the US and abroad. Have you been living under a rock? Seems that way to me. Why don’t you guys and dolls at Metro put an updated list of the after dark section online? The main reason i pick up the Spirit in the first place is to find out what’s going on around town on any given night. I always have and will probably continue

up THUMBS

to check because I think it should be so easy, but seriously it’s just a great idea. One that is sure to bring more viewers to your site. Give me a hot button on the main page then bombard me with hip costly adds! I will still love you all the same. Why is it that gas prices go down 1 or 2 cents a gallon at a time and it takes a week or two for this to happen, but it goes up from 3.07 a gallon to 3.29 a gallon in an hour. What’s up with that? Is it me or are the republicans in this state all idiots. I mean really voting for someone because the wont raise taxes. You evet heard u a indirect taxes gas , cell phones, buy a car, etc... I’m sure the topless maid owes a debt of gratitude to the woman who called into the Austin Rhodes show and bitched and moaned about her tiny ad for more than 10 minutes. Everyone who didn’t pick up a metro spirit yet did so as soon as they could. Further more I want absolutely nothing to do with a woman who would take the time out of her day to bring to our attention a tiny little add

“Beavis and Butthead” is back! Don’t disappoint us, Mike Judge.

down THUMBS

John Lennon’s molar goes up for auction November 5 and bidding is set to begin at just under $16,000.

To the reader who took offense to the reference of the many Lady

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WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

that got her panties in a wadd. I’m sure she is already making some poor smuck miserable.

and ignorant. I don’t seek out places where kids are just so I can complain.

Well, the metro spirit picked a bunch of “winners” to be on the cover this week. Are these people living in the streets or beneath the nearest bridge that is closest to the Metro’s offices. The look worse than homeless refugees. Idiots like this on the cover are just one reason why your paper can not be taken seriously. Sure, they did Conan, big wooop! It certainly compares with Lady Antebellum, doesn’t it? I guess the Metro really knows the music industry. What a joke!

I enjoy reading the Metro Spirit and its Whine Line but, when I peruse it today (10/27/11), it will have special significance. It means more today because the “end of the world” was supposed to happen last Friday, October 21st. And once again, as always, that failed to happen. And as long as my whine is in todays paper, let me take this time to congratulate the Metro Spirit for getting out it’s Thursday, December 27, 2012 edition - because the “end of the world” will once again fail to come to fruition on Friday, December 21, 2012.

Austin Rhodes is confident the courts don’t make mistakes, and is gleeful with anticipation Georgia might be on the verge of making it easier and quicker to convict and execute people accused of murder. Henry James has spent the last 30 years in Angola Prison, Louisianna, for rape. He was exonerated and set free today based on DNA eveidence, with assistance from the Innocence Project. And Austin Rhodes continues not to care. To him, if they didn’t commit the crime they went to jail for, they committed some other crime they haven’t been busted for yet so they deserve to go there or deathrow anyway.

Austin Rhodes doesn’t want to add to the left wing media’s “obfuscation” of the truth about taxes. But he will say things like “The wealthiest Americans could be taxed at 100% and it still wouldn’t be enough to pay our medicare and social security obligations.” If that’s the truth, I don’t understand why when this country had a tax-surplus under President Clinton and the tax-rate was several percentage points higher for America’s wealthiest than everyone else, no one was talking about how we couldn’t afford our social security and medicare or even welfare obligations. Thanks for not furthering the “obfuscation”, Austin.

I am so thankful for the story “No kids allowed.” My husband and I do not have kids nor want any and this alone can blow peoples minds. We like them and can appreciate other peoples want for them but there is nothing more annoying than trying to have no kids around time when going out. Someone will get so upset that their kid isn’t allowed at some venue and pitch a fit, which I find selfish

It seems to me that MCG President Azziz has a real “likability” issue. From what I hear, his employees hate him. The town is angry with him. The Board of Regents yanked his dental education building out from under him. He’s cutting budgets left and right, laying off people with decades of experience. You want big business donations? They have to like you enough to sign those checks.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Red Kettle Season Is Almost Here To the Metro Spirit: With The Salvation Army of Augusta Red Kettle Season starting November 10, we are currently seeking volunteer bell ringers. With red kettles being placed at over 25 locations for six days a week for six weeks, we need a multitude of volunteers to ring bells. Red Kettle Season is our top annual fundraiser and the money collected goes toward our traditional services such as our homeless shelter, soup kitchen, job skills programs, and drug and alcohol rehabilitation program. Bells can be rung by individuals, business, nonprofit organizations, churches and school groups. To sign up to be a bell ringer or to find out more information, contact Katie Atkinson, volunteer coordinator, at 706-826-7933 or kate.atkinson@uss. salvationarmy.org. Sincerely, Anthony Esposito, public relations coordinator The Salvation Army of Augusta

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INSIDER

INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

No Soliciting

Resignation may not be the only change as county takes another look at sales positions

Beda Johnson’s abrupt resignation as executive director of Columbia County’s Convention and Visitor’s Bureau last week startled many government watchers, who had grown accustomed to generous and regular outpourings of praise from the commission for her efforts at bringing tourism to a land most would admit is not exactly an obvious destination for people looking to spend their travel dollars. However, in spite of the praise, some are saying her work lacked both direction and follow through. When you have one client like Johnson

did, it’s a good idea to make sure that client’s happy. Early on, Johnson romanced the tournament fishing industry and drew high marks for her use of a tournament angler as an ambassador for the county, complete with a specially wrapped boat. J. Todd Tucker logged thousands of miles for Columbia County, and perhaps all that exposure did influence some of those people to visit the county. But Johnson eventually dropped Tucker as well as the top-tier fishing tournaments she had helped secure for the county, which had never quite brought the riches with them they were supposed to, primarily because the county’s motels never adapted to the specific needs of the anglers, who continued to spend their overnight dollars in Thomson and places that did. Then there was the much-heralded travel research study conducted by outside travel expert Judy Randall that yielded a lot of information, but like most studies was expensive. The raw data from the studies may have been good, but it was slow to be used in ways the public — and more importantly, the commission — understood. After cutting bait on the fishing tournaments, Johnson steered the CVB toward lower-cost alternatives while Barry Smith and the Community and Leisure Services Division started bringing in more and more high-profile athletic events, like securing the NCAA

Men’s and Women’s Soccer National Championships. Recently Johnson grew more outspoken and independent, joining forces with Development Authority Director Troy Post in touting a boutique hotel on the river, as well as planning a field trip to Savannah to voice the county’s water concerns to the Corps of Engineers and the Port Authority, a trip that was panned by Ron Cross, who went so far as to announce to anyone who would listen that the trip was not endorsed by the commission and vowed to make the different agencies fully aware that the gripes Johnson was bringing were not his. It’s no secret that Cross is the chair of the Savannah-Upper Ogeechee Water Council, which means he’s put a lot of time and effort into his building his own relationships with those organizations, so you’ve got to question Johnson’s wisdom in even starting on such a course without Cross’ blessing. Johnson, however, has a reputation

for being strong-willed and stubbornly single-minded, which may have prevented her from seeking that approval, since she must have known it wouldn’t come. The result, of course, is that she’s no longer at the CVB and the county seems to be in no real hurry to find a replacement, causing some to wonder what the structure of a postJohnson CVB might look like. Next out the door could very easily be Troy Post, who as Development Authority executive director seems to be having a problem grasping the fact that Columbia County is more interested in adding stores than stacks. The Development Services Division has been looking at ways to bring in an outlet mall and is currently studying ways to exploit the graying of the population by trying to lure retirees to the county. Post, however, seems unwilling — or unable — to engage in such outside the box thinking. And, given the current atmosphere, that kind of reluctance could prove costly.

Calm Down, Everyone Cadillac’s, the hot spot for more mature folks wanting to go out, have a few drinks and shag (the dance, perverts), has been closed down by the Georgia Revenue Department for failure to pay back taxes. A more common than you might think occurrence in the world of bar ownership, the Washington Road club will reopen when they satisfy government officials. And by that, we mean pay them what they owe. Insiders expect the bar to reopen within the next month.

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METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

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SAYWHAT?

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

“Phil” ing spaces Why Doesn’t Phil Kent Like Hip-Hop?

We’ve written about this before. The Insider thinks that Governor Nathan Deal’s appointment of Phil Kent to the Georgia Immigration Enforcement Board is a really bad idea. We think that his appointment to any position of public service is a bad idea, due to his bigoted and exclusionary views on what Georgia and America should look like. Mr. Kent thinks America should be as white as it can for as long as it can and see any other development as a sign of a decline of our civilization. The Insider thinks that the quality of a citizen is to be found not in the locale of his birth, the color of his skin or his accent, but in his character, his contribution and his will to be an American - accepting all benefits and burdens. But don’t take the Insider’s word for it. No one can tell you any better than Mr. Kent himself what his views are. Please examine excerpts from columns

he’s written and collected at his website, www.philkent.com:

KEEPING MULTILINGUILISM AT BAY at Bay Published 06/20/2011 in the Middle American News There is another aspect to the problem of multilingualism, underscored by this year’s release of new census data. Its origin goes back to 1975, when Congress foolishly expanded the Voting Rights Act by inserting bilingual ballot provisions for four so-called “language minorities”: American Indians, Asian Americans, Alaskan Natives and citizens of Spanish heritage. States and counties were mandated to provide ballots and election materials “in the language of the applicable minority group” if their population exceeded 10,000 people or more than five percent of all voting age citizens of these groups live in a jurisdiction.

MULTICULTURALISM’S GIFT: MORE GANGS Published 01/04/2010 in the Middle American News

page of The Middle American News underscores, if present trends continue by 2042 then whites will comprise just 46 percent of the U.S. population.

It is hard to be outraged at the rising tide of gang-related violence, but the recent two-hour rape and torture of a 15-year old white girl during her homecoming dance at Richmond High School in Richmond, Ca., by Mexican and black gangsters is an exceptional shocker. (Black and Hispanic gangs usually fight each other, yet share one bond-- they hate and attack whites.) Witnesses reported over 20 other students cheered on the brutal attack. The victim’s school is 72 percent Mexican, 14 percent black, 12 percent Asian and only 2 percent white. One of the victim’s grief-stricken white friends told a reporter: “Here at this school my sister and I are the minorities, but to you, the minorities are what surrounds me.” Indeed, as the graph on the last

Unless there is a moratorium on legal immigration coupled with steppedup enforcement efforts to significantly curb illegal immigration, then this country will be radically transformed demographically. It will be highlighted by more and more gang atrocities like that at Richmond High which, by the way, rarely occurred in the United States before “multiculturalism” and “open borders” became liberalism’s dominant dogmas. Mr. Kent is clearly out of touch with racial progress in this nation. We need public servants who live in 2011 and not in the pre-civil rights era.

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METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

T-31, Out of Service... Job Well Done As I lay fingers to keys at this moment, I have no idea what was going through the mind of Christopher Hodges last Saturday night when he decided to use the Gordon Highway as his own personal shooting gallery. The former Evans-Augusta resident was stationed at Fort Gordon undergoing technical training related to his service as a National Guardsman. According to his girlfriend, Hodges was drunk and angry, and it was when he reached the interchange at Gordon Highway and Bobby Jones Expressway that she decided to bail out of the vehicle he was driving. He did not like her decision to bail. For reasons that we likely will never, ever know, Hodges reached into his trunk and pulled out his legally purchased M-4 assault rifle and opened fire, aiming randomly at passing traffic. Seventeen-year Richmond County Sheriff’s Office veteran J.D. Paugh

had no idea, none whatsoever, what he was driving up on as he made his way home from a late-night assignment handling traffic congestion around the Georgia-Carolina Fair. A disabled car on the side of the road, with its passengers looking for assistance. Or so he thought. The call had not yet gone out on the radio, and what a shame that is. Fellow officers who knew him well say there is no way J.D. would have ridden up directly on such a violent situation. There are strategies and procedures in place for such confrontations. A sole officer on a motorcycle would not knowingly offer himself up as a sitting duck in such a case. Simply put, J.D. was precisely in the wrong place at precisely the wrong time. Hodges fired at least 42 shots that night, with at least nine of them finding the body of the deputy, before taking his own life with the same weapon.

Investigators were amazed as they pieced together the final moments of his life and the final acts of law enforcement of Deputy Paugh, not because they were uncharacteristic of the kind of officer J.D. was, but because they showed a scene of amazing bravery and dedication to service quite profound by any measure. J.D. was under fire from the very moment he climbed off his patrol motorcycle. He knew there was nothing he could do but return fire, and he had to do it quick if the enormously dangerous assailant was to be stopped. At almost the same moment he fired his third and final shot, a round from the assault rifle blasted his service weapon into pieces of deadly shrapnel. The damage from that one round was enough to incapacitate the deputy, but thank God his final shot, the last aggressive move Deputy Paugh would be physically able to make, found its target true, disabling

the arm of his disturbed attacker. Moments later, Hodges managed to use his other hand to pull the trigger and fire the bullet that took his own life, and perhaps forever sealed the true story and rationale behind his actions away from mortal man. I believe J.D. Paugh saved lives last Saturday night. I believe he was ready to do that every time he put on his uniform, and cranked up his motorcycle. He always knew there was a chance he was going to have to fight with his own life at stake, in order to save the lives of others. A lesser man, and a lesser officer, would have failed. Simply put, J.D. was precisely in the right place at precisely the right time.

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METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

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METRONEWS

ERICJOHNSON

Lady A Owns the Night

On Friday, the much-anticipated dedication concert will bring a bit of Nashville to the former Kroger Field

At this point, there really isn’t all that much we can say about Lady Antebellum that hasn’t already been said. The band is Columbia County’s James Brown — a hometown, feel good, internationally successful musical act that everyone seems to want to want a piece of. By now, everyone knows the story of how Lakeside grads David Haywood and Charles Kelley were writing songs in Nashville, met Hillary Scott and in a few short years became the darlings of the country and pop music world. They’re on the cover of magazines. They’re the subject of television stories. Lady Antebellum is the reigning CMA and ACM Vocal Group of the Year and their latest record, “Own the Night,” debuted at No. 1 on Billboard’s Top 200 chart. Friday, the trio will christen the Columbia County amphitheater named in their honor with a sold-out acoustic dedication concert that has become the must-see event of the year and one of the most-anticipated events in Columbia County. Gates open at 4 p.m. with the concert starting at 6 p.m. Keeping the concert a local affair, the county raised a few eyebrows earlier this year when it decided to sell tickets to the charity concert itself. And though people were camping out days ahead V. 22 | NO. 61

of the actual sale date, the process went smoothly and they quickly sold all of their 3,100 general admission tickets. A limited number of sponsor and VIP tickets have been sold through other means, with the proceeds benefiting University Hospital. Last Saturday’s well-attended warmup concert, which coincided with the park’s grand opening, went off relatively smoothly, considering the size of the turnout, which Recreation Events Manager Stacie Adkins estimated was between 3,000 and 4,000 people. “It was crowded all day long,” said Adkins. “When I left the park at 11, I still heard kids on the playground.” Given the magnitude of Friday’s Lady Antebellum concert, the county felt a test event was important to work out any kinks and discover any weak points in their plan that might not show up until the night of the concert. But according to Adkins, the only thing they decided they really needed to deal with was adjusting the flow of foot traffic coming to the park from the main parking lot located at the county’s Marshall Square property across the street. “What we’re going to do for Friday is rope it off so that people will go down to the intersection by Chili’s to cross rather than crossing the street

anywhere they want to,” Adkins said. “That was probably the biggest adjustment.” Director of Community and Leisure Services Barry Smith said the park will be closed all day Friday before the concert. Because of the lawn seating, officials worried people would start staking out their areas with blankets and lawn chairs early, then leave, making enforcement difficult and potentially souring the event with complaints and arguments. No coolers, pets or outside food and drink will be allowed in the park and smoking is prohibited. Adkins said cameras were allowed, but not video cameras. As far as Saturday’s warmup concert itself, officials said they were pleased by the way the new venue was received by the bands.

“They were very appreciative and very impressed with the facility,” Adkins said. “I did not have any complaints, so in my world it went fine.” Friday’s concert won’t be the first time Lady Antebellum has played Columbia County. The group, whose song “Need You Now” is the most downloaded country music song of all time, opened for singer Luke Bryan at the original amphitheater behind the library in 2008. By November of 2010, the band was selling out the James Brown Arena… and getting the honor of having the music pavilion of the nearly $5 million Evans Town Center Park named after them. The stage itself is named after Kelley’s brother Josh, himself a country music star.

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

Resigned to Change

Johnson suddenly leaves Columbia County’s CVB Beda Johnson, the woman who guided the Columbia County Convention and Visitor’s Bureau from its infancy to its current position as an active, freestanding organization, abruptly resigned her position last week, causing some in local government to speculate that she was forced out. While county officials remain tightlipped, it’s clear that Johnson, who was often referred to as Columbia County’s loudest cheerleader, didn’t always have the smoothest relationship with county staff and the commission. “I don’t know if it was a total surprise,” Commissioner Charles Allen, who is the commission’s current liaison with the CVB’s board of directors, said of the resignation. “The CVB has been working hard trying to put together new missions for awhile now, and it’s tough to try to be creative every day of your life.” That’s hardly a ringing endorsement, but one that was seconded by County Administrator Scott Johnson, who acknowledged that Beda Johnson’s relationship with the county was occasionally strained. Even so, he explained that while the CVB might be funded by county money, specifically 60 percent of the hotel/motel tax collected, the CVB remained an independent organization outside of the county’s direct control. Still, they’re all part of the same team, and it’s clear they weren’t always reading off the same playbook. “There have been a few comments here and there about how she’s interacted with our staff in the past, but, for the most part, whatever happens is really a board decision,” he said. “There are some conversations right

now about how the board and the county can work together, but it’s in its infancy. There are some things that we would like to see in the county and have them consider, but being independent, it’s up to them whether to consider it or not.” Beda Johnson declined to comment on her resignation, explaining through electronic message that she had promised her board she would remain silent about her decision to leave. The Columbia County CVB was created in 2005 and served until 2008

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as a quasi branch of the government. During that period, Johnson was a county employee, but, in 2008, the board decided it was time to break off into a fully independent organization. Recently, she announced a similar change when she told commissioners she would be attempting to find office space beyond the free space the county has continued to provide. And while Allen said she would be paid through the end of the year, he also said they would be spending time deciding exactly what they wanted from the next

Catering

executive director, another indication that of the level of dissatisfaction the county had with the CVB’s leadership. Some had speculated that her recent, vocal decision to take a group of community leaders to meet with the Corps of Engineers and the Port Authority may have thrown her out of favor with Chairman Ron Cross, who made it clear he disapproved of the trip and said that they would be going without the commission’s blessing.

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V. 22 | NO. 61

JOSHRUFFIN

The problem of politics, principles and Zombie John McCain

“The important thing is to keep them pledging,” he explained to his cohorts. “It doesn’t matter whether they mean it or not. That’s why they make little kids pledge allegiance even before they know what ‘pledge’ and ‘allegiance’ mean.” Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll have no doubt heard by now that President Obama has announced the removal of all American troops from Iraq by the end of this year. Politically, this falls somewhere between the end of the Vietnam conflict and “Mission (derp) Accomplished.” In terms of common sense, it’s more akin to the end of a game of Calvinball that involved a lot of wanton murder, screamingly nonsensical rhetoric and Toby Keith’s inflated bank account. Though the announcement itself was a foregone conclusion, the effect was of course jarring; Lee Greenwood even stopped fondling his bald spot to United 93. More telling, however, was the rightwing response. Most GOP’ers gunning for the White House roundly lambasted the move, with frontrunners Romney and Perry releasing statements like, “President Obama’s astonishing failure to secure an V. 22 | NO. 61

orderly transition in Iraq has unnecessarily put at risk the victories that were won through the blood and sacrifice of thousands of American men and women,” and, “I’m deeply concerned that President Obama is putting political expediency ahead of sound military and security judgment,” respectively, both of which completely ignore the intricacies and nuances of the situation, but sound eloquent enough to make for good sound bytes. Michelle Bachmann, meanwhile, wants Iraq to reimburse the U.S. for war costs, which is kind of like demanding to the prostitute you just eviscerated and tossed in the trunk of your car that she still owes you a handy. Which brings us to Senator John McCain, who calls the withdrawal “a harmful and sad setback for the United States in the world.” McCain’s career for the past five or six years has, I think, embodied one of the facets of Catch-22: in short, bureaucracy and glad-handing taking precedent over common sense and personal conviction. Before the 2008 election season kicked off, McCain, for whatever other faults he may have possessed, was willing to reach across the increasingly rigid ideological Congressional aisles. But when the paranoid ranting of the Beckand-Limbaugh-led fringe began to drown out what little reason remained in the Republican camp, McCain and his campaign advisors panicked something fierce, resorting to the same tired, borderline Red Scare rhetoric the media was beginning to latch onto. And he’s still at it, to an extent. Why? The man is so close to death that if you play his speeches backward, you hear “Brrrraaaaainnnsss!” Simply put, McCain’s senatorial career is what now defines him. It’s all he has left, and he’s going to cling to it like a crotchety barnacle. As a former POW who suffered

RUFFIN’IT

Catch-22

incalculable suffering in the name of his country, he should forever command our respect but, as we’ve seen in recent debates*, the conservative base will turn on servicemen and women at the drop of a dime if they refuse to unquestioningly uphold and perpetuate right-wing dogma. So the man’s in a no-win situation: give in to the crazy-base and retain authority at the expense of his soul, or rein in the hard-line rhetoric and give up the throne. Just like the soldiers in “Catch-22” who had already proven their (however reluctant) loyalty to the armed forces and yet were forced to sign Loyalty Oaths before the most mundane of actions (passing the salt, etc.), McCain — as well as any other potentially sane members of the GOP — is politically strong-armed into sating ultra-right lobotomy cases and pretending that Papa John is a viable candidate. This is nothing new. Plato himself said that anyone actually qualified to lead would never desire the authority in the first place. The wisest among us admits that he knows nothing, while the charismatic fool purports to have all the answers. Unfortunately, the words of both Plato and Joseph Heller ring as true today as ever before, even as the roars of a select few fools, coalescing into a cacophony, smother the voices of real people. You. Your neighbors**. The people taking your drink orders, teaching your children — you are this country, and you have the answers, not the podiumthumping bobbleheads currently slapfighting each other in primetime. What will you do, then? Will you put rubber to road, force traction and break the cycle? Or, like Heller’s comic antihero Yossarian, simply lie in bed and wish it all away? Either choice requires sacrifice, an acceptance of loss. Only one choice, however, provides long-term gains. America, I hope this isn’t merely rhetorical. Here endeth the soapbox.

*I refer to the September 22 Republican Presidential Debate in Orlando, in which an openly gay soldier was booed by the audience, essentially because of his homosexuality. **Not me, of course. I’m just a computer program made from the spare parts of leftwing ideologues and Eddie Izzard references.

ASU and Metro Spirit alum Josh Ruffin is a published journalist and poet, who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 11

GREGBAKER

AUGUSTATEK

Show Me the (Paper) Money

And the eagerly anticipated 10 trillionth digit of PI is revealed

In a grand example of technology going backwards, the recent slew of bank fees promise to take the entire consumer market back to paper transactions. I’m not even going to pretend that I have a clue about how our national economy and financial system works. I’m just a small-town shop manager. That banking stuff is above my raisin’. All I know is that this company’s economy depends on our ability to provide service in the most

responsive manner and highest quality possible. Paper slows us down. Now, don’t get me wrong. Cash is still king; it just flows better electronically. In all seriousness, I haven’t carried cash in five years, but I am starting to write checks again because of all these stupid fees. What’s next? Chickens and goats? Well, why not! Since deer season is starting, I’ll take10 percent off if you pay in venison. And is there anything better to go

with venison than an Android Ice Cream Sandwich? Or how about an Apple? The Samsung Galaxy Nexus with the new Android operating system “Ice Cream Sandwich” was officially announced this week. Has Google finally jumped up to the level of the iPhone and its recently released iOS5? User interface — Android has flexible personalization, Apple goes for simplicity. Maps — Android’s voice navigation over Apple’s integrated Google Maps. Camera — better editing on Android, but we’ll need to see how it performs in the wild. NFC (Near-Field Communication) — only in Android, but with the cost of electronic payments rising, will Google Wallet take off? Music — Apple and iTunes. No Contest. App Store, iCloud, FaceTime — Apple, Apple, Apple. And of course, how could I forget Siri? Of course, each phone has a number of features that I haven’t discussed here. The new Samsung is a nice-looking device, and the feature gap is definitely closing. The iPhone probably comes out slightly ahead, but ultimately, the consumer is going to decide which fits their personality the best. Just because I know that all loyal

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12 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

Gregory A. Baker, Ph.D., is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

BAR ONLY | EVERYDAY 4-7 | 9- CLOSE

. Y A D S FRI

Y A W L T’S A

I , E R IN HE

Augusta Tek readers are waiting patiently to hear the results, it finally happened this week. Shigeru Kondo of Japan finished his yearlong effort to calculate the first 10 trillion digits of PI. This feat was apparently done on a home-built Windows server with about 48 terabytes of hard drive space, eight terabytes dedicated to simply storing the results. The biggest obstacle in calculating PI? Hard drive crashes. Of the project’s 371 calendar days of elapsed time, 180 days were spent recovering from hardware failure. So, what is the 10 trillionth digit of PI? Hint: it’s the same as the 14th digit. Finally, we all know that Google has the solution to everything. But how good of a Googler are you? Do you think you have what it takes to Google with the best of them? Google’s new website agoogleaday.com asks visitors to answer a question using their ability to Google. To prevent cheating, the search uses Deja Google — a wormholeinspired time machine that searches the Internet as it existed before the game began. (No recent blog posts to spoil everyone’s fun.) A new question is posted every day. No hints posted here. You’ll have to go the website to begin your new addiction. Until next time, I’ll see you on the internet. Tweet me @gregory_a_baker. L8R.

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$2 Bottles of Bud and Bud Light $3 Long Island Iced Tea, House Margaritas, & Absolut $4 Glasses of Wine $5 Pitchers of Bud Light, Michelob Ultra, & Yuengling V. 22 | NO. 61

THE DAWGS

Stacked Deck

Commission refuses to approve parking deck managing agreement

They call the GA/FL game the world’s largest outdoor cocktail party BUT...

SATURDAY NIGHT

Now that the TEE Center parking deck is up and running, some members of the commission are expressing uncertainty about the management agreement Administrator Fred Russell wants them to approve, while some question the previously agreed upon elements of the arrangement that built the deck. Some commissioners are uncomfortable with the fact that the city owns the air rights about the first floor, which is owned by Augusta Riverfront LLC, which has been slated to manage the facility since 2009. “All I want to do is make sure we’ve looked at all the angles and made sure the people who have some equity in our city have really had some conversation in that,” said District 1 Commissioner Matt Aitken. “Why the property wasn’t bought versus air rights — that sort of thing.” Russell has made no secret of his frustration with the commissioners’ reluctance to sign off on what he says is the last part of a good agreement for the city. “A lot of them weren’t even here when the process started,” he said. “This is a deal we’ve been working on in total for, what — 10 years — and we’re getting to the final part of it and we’re going back to revisit decisions that were being made years ago… and with a new cast of characters in some cases.” Aitken, who as a candidate for District 1 ran on a pro-growth platform and whose election many feel made vote to approve the TEE Center a reality, insisted he’s making sure everyone who has a stake in downtown parking has a seat at the table, while Russell maintained that now is the wrong time to be working on details long ago V. 22 | NO. 61

decided upon. “He’s the administrator, not the elected official,” Aitken responded. “The people in District 1 elected me and my colleagues to represent them in the affairs of the city, and his job is to carry out the tasks of the elected officials. We do ask for recommendations from him, but I think until the proper discussions have been there for all of us, we have the right to make sure that the checks and balances are in place.” This idea further frustrates Russell, who said the rules of the bond agreement required the current structure of the agreement. “Are we going to change the rules on the operator?” he asked. “Because we agreed two years ago that they were going to operate it.” As part of the agreement, Augusta Riverfront gets 160 parking spaces on the first floor to offset the loss of parking that is a result of the placement of the TEE Center. In return, the city gets the rest of the floors and the right to use the 160 spots on the ground floor after the workday is over. To Russell, the issue is symbolic of the slow pace of progress in Augusta. “Good idea or indifferent, we’ve argued about this for six years — it could have been open three years ago,” he said. “We’re spending time and energy looking for stuff that happened three years ago when we could be spending time trying to find jobs in places and fill the thing up. I find that more than a little bothersome.” If the commission doesn’t approve the management agreement, Russell said it could vote to condemn the structure and acquire the property that way, though such an action would guarantee a lawsuit.

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V. 22 | NO. 61

GETTING IN SHAPE By Joel Fagliano / Edited by Will Shortz

94 Isn’t wrong? 96 Popular pie flavor 97 Ends 98 PC key 99 1977 thriller set at sea 100 Comedy Central’s “___.0” 101 Prefix with -gon 103 Pointed tool 104 “… ___ saw Elba” 105 Co. that owns Moviefone 106 Commonly called 109 See shaded letters intersected by this answer 114 Child’s pet 115 Phenomenon associated with the Southern Oscillation 116 Message seen after 13-Across dies 117 Setting for van Gogh’s “Cafe Terrace at Night” 118 Phillies div. 119 Drama has it 120 Shooting sport DOWN 1 So 2 Character in “The Hobbit” 3 See shaded letters intersected by this answer 4 Critical situation 5 Cosmetician Lauder 6 They have mtgs. in schools 7 Not std. 8 Share 9 Harvey of “Reservoir Dogs” 10 Two-for-one, e.g. 11 Flunk 12 Media watchdog org. 13 “Going Rogue” author 14 Rheumatism symptom 15 1969 film with an exclamation point in its title 16 When the table is set 17 Missing parts 18 Realizes 21 Jewel holder 25 Book after Joel 27 Cousin of an oboe 32 See shaded letters intersected by this answer 33 Sassy 34 Site of a key battle in the War of 1812 35 Flotsam or Jetsam in “The Little Mermaid” 36 Fleet 37 He played the candidate in “The Candidate,” 1972 39 “___ in the Morning”

40 ’10 or ’11 person, now 41 Buster 42 Shop posting: Abbr. 44 Follow 45 Aviation pioneer Sikorsky 46 Designer of the pyramid at the 74 -Across 50 See shaded letters intersected by this answer 51 It’s for the birds 54 Garlicky mayonnaise 55 “___ for Cookie” (“Sesame Street” song) 56 Totaled 59 Ashanti wood carvings, e.g. 62 See shaded letters intersected by this answer 63 Reason to doodle 66 Apple debut of 1998 67 “I’m less than impressed” 68 Mouse in a classic Daniel Keyes book 70 Contact ___ 73 RCA products 75 “I didn’t mean to do that!” 77 Quite a schlep 78 “Do the Right Thing” pizzeria owner 79 Thomas who lampooned Boss Tweed 81 “You have no ___” 82 “Tell Me More” network 83 Age-old philosophical topic 84 Fictional reporter 86 Buzzers 89 ___ Park, home for the Pittsburgh Pirates 94 Cézanne’s “Boy in ___ Vest” 95 Bonus to something that’s already good 96 Spanish chickens 97 Active 99 Doubting words 100 Representative 102 Musical symbols that resemble cross hairs 103 Gulf of ___ 104 A very long time 105 Top 106 “Show Boat” composer 107 Writer James 108 The “S” of TBS: Abbr. 110 Unaccounted for, briefly 111 Take sides? 112 Prefix with culture 113 Boss of bosses

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ACROSS 1 Small amount 6 Nab, as a base runner 13 Well-known maze traveler 19 Slings 20 “I kid you not!” 22 “Things Fall Apart” author Chinua ___ 23 Full-length 24 See shaded letters intersected by this answer 26 Game hunters 28 Business card abbr. 29 Friend of Fifi 30 Fleur-de-___ 31 Frozen beverage brand 32 One in debt 34 Author ___ Hubbard 35 Guess on a tarmac: Abbr. 36 Geological feature on a Utah license plate 38 Polite 40 Some batteries 41 Speak horsely? 43 ___ hall 44 Tennis’s Berdych 45 Type 46 Golfer nicknamed “The King” 47 Year Michelangelo began work on “David” 48 As ___ (usually) 49 Charades participant, e.g. 52 Newsroom workers, for short 53 “Unfortunately, that’s the case” 55 “Hurry!” 57 Obedient 58 Umpire’s ruling 60 “I ___ the day …” 61 Priestly garment 64 Folkie Guthrie 65 Repeated musical phrases 67 Mazda model 69 Facility often closed in the winter 71 Home state for 86-Across: Abbr. 72 Soviet space station 73 Zig or zag 74 Home to the Venus de Milo 76 “Easy as pie” 80 Majority figure? 82 Texans’ org. 85 Palindromic vehicle 86 Cheney’s successor 87 82-Across stats 88 Launch 90 Jack or jenny 91 Beginning of un año 92 Eggs in a sushi restaurant 93 Freshen, as a stamp pad

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I G A R L A R O E P A X S P A S A N N T H E I R O T O P S O L I P U L E S T O L S T I N K D E I E D O O N A E R I S A L A A T E H E S I R S

R A H A L P R A W N S M E D A L S

J A C K P O W E R

A Y X E I A S O R N O

D Y A D

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B R U T

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METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 15

Legal Flood

Riverkeeper joins golf course in battle against storm water issues Jones Creek golf course and the Savannah Riverkeeper have filed a lawsuit against Columbia County and several businesses for contaminating area streams through poor engineering and slack enforcement of the federal Clean Water Act, claiming damages of $3.77 million. Along with the county, the suit named CSX Transportation, the owners of Marshall Square and Krystal River Commercial Park, as well as Jones Creek Partners, a separate developer at Jones Creek. Though all may be part of the lawsuit, it’s clear Savannah Riverkeeper Tonya Bonitatibus’ real target is the county. “The reason we joined with Jones Creek in this lawsuit is to ensure that they fundamentally change their practices,” she says. “They are the ones that issue the permits and the ones who are responsible for overseeing it.” Bonitatibus alleges she has dealt with the county on at least 20 issues similar to this one within the last few years. “We’ve begged, pleaded, asked nicely, screamed — done everything we can think of to get them to enforce their own laws, but they continually fail to do

so,” she says. She points to the recent report that code enforcement officer Patti Laster, who is employed by the county to enforce just these sorts of regulations, was found to be making signs on the side for the developers she was supposed to be enforcing. “That was a definite conflict of

interest,” says Administrator Scott Johnson. “You can’t work for them one day and then be an enforcement agent the next day.” Johnson says that Laster was reprimanded and was informed that if she was caught doing that again she would receive further punishment, including the possibility of termination.

To Bonitatibus, the situation with Laster only illustrates how widespread the enforcement problem is. “They have this culture of being in the business for the developers, but they’re in the business of protecting the citizens,” she says. “They’ve forgotten that.” According to Johnson, however, such lawsuits are seldom successful. “We’ve had a few over the years, but not a lot,” he says. “People are always threatening that, but typically it’s difficult to include the county.” Though the county attorney has the case, Johnson says he believes the county is innocent of the accusations. “Certainly, it’s our position that we have done everything required of us by law,” he says. “I think it would be hard for anybody to prove that we are liable for storm water or silt that ended up in your pond.” According to the lawsuit, silt from the improperly maintained construction sites has settled in Willow Lake, damaging the sprinkler system and damaging the course by making it more prone to destructive flooding.

The Wright Time

Desert Storm vet throws hat in ring for 12th District

Evans attorney Wright McLeod, who announced his intention to run for the 12th District congressional seat, speaks

16 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

in short, concise sentences, which is good considering the amount of ground he has to cover. Richmond County. Tutt. Westside. Good student. Eagle Scout. President of the senior class. Thanks to Doug Bernard, McLeod was able to go to Annapolis, where he did well, then on to flight school, where his eyes put him in the backseat of an F-14 Tomcat. That’s right. Just like Goose in “Top Gun.” From there he was flying combat missions in Desert Storm, then a stint working for Colin Powell at the Pentagon, then a two-year masters program that took him to Georgetown and Oxford. Eventually he got a law degree from UGA and returned home. That’s an awful lot of experience, but precious little to do with politics. “I’ve been minimally active,” he says. “Maybe a barbecue a year for somebody. But I am not a hardcore, hard-charging member of the Republican Party.

Compared to his two announced Republican opponents, he thinks that might be an advantage. Both Lee Anderson and Rick Allen, he says, are somewhat boxed in by their politics, which he thinks makes him the one most able to win over the fat political middle. “If I can get through the primary, I think I have a much better chance of pulling that 70 percent middle vote than either of the other two candidates,” he says. Unlike some, he feels Democrat John Barrow is a tough opponent, and were it not for redistricting, he says the magnitude of the challenge would have been overwhelming. “But I would be getting involved somehow, because I’m reaching the point in my life where I am not going to turn over to my children something that is considerably less than what was turned over to me. I’m just not going to accept that premise. It’s not fair and it’s wrong.” That’s his reason for running in a

nutshell. That, and the belief that he can fix it. “The fundamental and absolute, inaccurate belief is that government is the solution,” he says. “I don’t buy that you can create a solution. I do not agree with Senator Reid that a jobs bill is going to fix the situation.” Given the size of the district, he breaks down the issues into three topics — jobs, debt and social issues to the north and jobs, debt and immigration to the south. “It’s a tough, tough call on the immigration,” he says. “You can’t have any rules unless you can enforce the primary rule, meaning the border. You’ve got to be able to enforce the border.” Though he may be a political newcomer, he is hoping to overcome the perception by adding weight to his group of political supporters, which includes honorary campaign chair Gloria Norwood, widow of former Rep. Charlie Norwood, and local Republican leader Dave Barbee. V. 22 | NO. 61

R.U.N.E ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

“Zombie Apocalypse Survival Camp” is not your typical Le Chat Noir production. Theatergoers turn into participants as they play games, watch skits and try to make it through a labyrinth. Don’t worry, however: Thankfully, Augusta is surviving the zombie apocalypse, mostly because the pollution that earned us our Disgusta nickname made us immune to the contagion that turned the rest of the world into the walking dead. And now Marshal J.B. Blakeney of the private military company Darkest Hour will give you the tools you need to fight the undead. After the battle is won on Saturday, October 29, party on the graves of the undead dead at the Black Cat Ball, a victory party that includes music, refreshments, costume contests and more.

Tickets for both the show at 7 p.m. | party at 10 p.m. are $20. For reservations, call 706-722-3322

LCNAUGUSTA.COM V. 22 | NO. 61

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 17

ENTERTAINMENT at the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Performer to be determined. Reservations required. $25. Call 706823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Proclaimers Quartet performs at Bethesda Baptist Church Friday, October 28, at 7 p.m. Free. Call 706-556-6818 or visit bethesdabchurch.weebly.com. An Evening of Traditional Irish Music, featuring Kevin Burke and Cal Scott, is Friday, October 28, at 8 p.m. at the Enterprise Mill Event Center. $15 in advance; $20 at the door. Call 706-2675416 or visit augustaarts.com. The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706364-4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Literary

Cook Book Club will meet on Thursday, October 27, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Get to shuckin’ at Oysters on Telfair, a fundraiser for the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. This popular annual event is Thursday, November 3, from 7-10 p.m. at Ware’s Folly on Telfair and features raw and steamed oysters, live music, a full bar, an artwork silent auction, raffles and more. $65; $50 for members of Contemporaries. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

Arts

High and Low: What Is Excellence in the Arts?, part two of the lecture series by artist Art Rosenbaum, is Friday, October 28, at noon in the Morris Museum of Art’s auditorium. Free. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org.

Exhibitions

Local Legends is a new permanent exhibition at the Augusta Museum of History that focuses on area-wide entertainers, musicians, singers, authors, athletes, journalists and other notable personalities. It opens Friday, October 28. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. The Annual Quilt Exhibition shows November 1-December 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. William Willis: Paintings and Drawings shows at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art November 3-December 13. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. Americana Tugs at Your Heart, an exhibition by artists Anne Rauton Smith and Judy Adamick, shows during the 18 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

month of November at the Aiken Artist Guild Gallery at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-278-0709 or visit aikenartistguild.org. Marcia Bergtholdt Art Exhibit shows during November at Hitchcock Health Center in Aiken. Call 803-278-0709 or visit aikenartistguild.org. Between: In the Time, Space or Interval That Separates, a photography exhibition by Abigail Wood Zwanziger, shows through October 31 at Sky City. Visit skycityaugusta.com. The Ebony Legacy Exhibition will remain open until October 31 at the Lucy C. Laney Museum of Black History. $2-$5. Call 706-651-8712 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Barbara Yon Art Exhibit will stay open everyday through the end of the month at the Hitchcock Heath Center in Aiken. Call 803-648-8344 or visit hitchcockhealthcare.org. Judy Gillespie and Ginny Griffin Art Exhibition shows at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through October 28. Call 706-8264700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

Expect the Unexpected, an exhibit of ceramic art by members of the Clay Artists of the Southeast (CASE), including Pricilla Hollingsworth and Ann Baker, shows through October 29 at the Arts and Heritage Center in North Augusta. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. The Art of Millinery will be showcased through the month of October at the Center for Arts and Heritage in North Augusta. Millinery is the art of making hats and fascinators, and this exhibit showcases the works of local milliner Elizabeth Tudor. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Music

Hallelujah for Health Benefit Concert will be held on Thursday, October 27, at 7 p.m. at Paine College. Area choirs and groups will entertain through song and praise. Free. Call 706-312-3179 or visit paine.edu. POPS! at the Bell presents Neil Sedaka on Thursday, October 27, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. Visit soaugusta.org. Moonlight Music Cruise will be held on Friday, October 28, at 6:30 p.m.

You Don’t Know Jack, a program about Jack London featuring his biographer, Dr. Jeanne Campbell Reesman, is Friday, October 28, at 7 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. Free, but participants should call the box office beforehand for tickets. Call 803-6413305 or visit usca.edu. Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be given out. Categories are middle and high school, adults, and seniors. Visit poetrymatterscelebration.com.

Theater

“Zombie Apocalypse Survival Camp,” a production of Le Chat Noir, shows October 25-29. Bar opens at 7 p.m. Show starts at 8 p.m. $8 in advance; $10 at the door. Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. Chad Crews presents Something Wicked This Way Comes: A Shakespeare Experiment on Thursday, October 27, at 7 p.m. at the North Augusta Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Children of a Lesser God,” a production of Aiken Community Playhouse, shows October 28-29, November 4-5 and 1112 at 8 p.m., as well as November 6 at 3 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts. Tickets are $17 for adults, $15 for seniors, $12 for students and $6 for children under 12. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1011.com. V. 22 | NO. 61

Tribute to “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” a production of Erotic Nightmares, is Friday, October 28, at 9 p.m. at Sector 7G. Doors open at 8 p.m.; show begins at 9 p.m. $10. All ages are welcome and costumes are encouraged. Call 706-589-4269.

4:30-evening, at Stormbranch Equestrian Club in Aiken. Hot-air balloons, polo,

“Cinderella,” a production of Storyland Theatre, shows Saturday, October 29, at 3 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. No reservations are needed, and the box office opens at 2:15 p.m. $5. Call 706736-3455 or visit storylandtheatre.org. Black Cat Ball, Le Chat Noir’s annual Halloween party, is Saturday, October 29, at 10 p.m. immediately after the 7 p.m. showing of “Zombie Apocalypse Survival Camp.” Event includes hanging out with cast members, a DJ, refreshments, costume contests and more. Call 706722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. “Mamma Mia!,” part of the Broadway in Augusta series, shows Tuesday, November 1, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $50-$60. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. “Dream With Your Eyes Open: A Toussaint Duchess Experience” shows Thursday, November 3, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $29.50-$35. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Local authors are invited to submit original scripts for Quickies 2012, the short play festival at Le Chat Noir. Scripts should be 10-15 pages; all styles and subject matters considered. Deadline is December 31. Mail scripts to Quickies, c/o Le Chat Noir, 304 Eighth Street, Augusta, Ga., 30901, or email them to info@lcnaugusta.com.

Flix

“Race to Nowhere,” a critical look at the influence and impact of standardized testing on teachers, students and parents, shows Tuesday, November 1, at 7 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. Free. Call 803-641-3305 or visit usca.edu.

ride till you’re dizzy at the columbia county fair november 3-13

fireworks, live music, trick or treating on Saturday and more are included in this event, which is free with a donation to the families of service members at Fort Gordon. Visit fortgordon.com. Non-Food Halloween Festival, hosted by GHSU’s College of Nursing, is Friday, October 28, from 3-5:30 p.m. on the fourth and fifth floors of the Health Sciences Building. Geared toward children with food allergies and medically restricted diets, participants will trick or treat for non-food items, and the event will also include games, arts and crafts, and a haunted house. Call 706-7212451 or georgiahealth.edu. French Gems Wine Tasting Seminar, featuring Stephanie Bourgeois, is Friday, October 28, at 7 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta and will feature 11 wines and snacks. Attendees will receive discounts on featured wines. $15 in advance; $20 at the door, if space is available. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com.

Special Events

The Western Carolina State Fair runs through Saturday, October 28 at the Aiken Fairgrounds. Visit westerncarolinastatefair.com.

Everything Pumpkins Scarecrow Contest is Saturday, October 29, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at North Augusta’s Living History Park. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us.

Ghostbusters: Investigating Haunted Houses will be held on Thursday, October 27, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-826-1511 or visit ecgrl.org.

Fall Festival at Bethesda Baptist Church, featuring games, prizes, food, a pie contest, cake walk, candy and more, is Saturday, October 29, from 10 a.m.2 p.m. Call 706-556-6818 or visit bethesdabchurch.weebly.com.

Polo and Balloon Festival is Friday, October 28, from 3-8 p.m., and Saturday, October 29, from 6:30 a.m.-3 p.m. and V. 22 | NO. 61

No Kid Hungry Community Awareness Day at Broadway Baptist Church is METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 19

Saturday, October 29, from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. and includes vendor booths, health screening and family oriented activities. Free. Call 706-261-1122 or email yannikmckie@gmail.com.

Fall Festival at Belair Baptist Church in Grovetown is Saturday, October 29, from 6-8 p.m. and includes carnival games, food and candy. Call 706-854-9556 or visit belairbaptist.org.

Think Pink Fall Festival at Hephzibah High School is Saturday, October 29, from noon4 p.m. and includes music, inflatables, food, face painting, hayrides, a haunted house, a carnival and more. Free. Call 706-5922089 or visit heph-high.rcboe.org.

Kids in the Kitchen, hosted by the Junior League of Augusta, is Sunday, October 30, at 1 p.m. at the Kroc Center. It includes chefs presenting healthy cooking demonstrations, fitness demonstrations and more. Call 678-603-

6261 or visit jlaugusta.org. Monday Night Live, a trick or trunk event at Experienced Change Ministries, is Monday, October 31, from 6-8 p.m. at 4045 Jimmie Dyess Pkwy., Ste. 104, and includes clothing, shoes and canned goods giveaways, Daylight Donuts, and face painting. Call 706-855-1711.

Weight Loss Seminar, hosted by GHSU’s Weight Loss Center, is Thursday, October 27, at 7 p.m. at the cancer center on Laney-Walker Blvd. Free, but preregistration required. Call 706-7212609 or visit georgiahealth.edu.

Fall Festival and Trunk or Treat at Sweetwater Church of God in North Augusta is Monday, October 31, from 6-8 p.m. and includes food, fun and prizes. Call 803-279-6100 or visit swcog.com. First Thursday on Kings Way in Summerville is November 3 from 5-8 p.m. and features live music from Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold, a cookbook signing with Chef Bill Coxwell and work from featured artist Panny Force. Proceeds raised with benefit the Lynndale School. Email jrlog@knology.net. CSRA’s Got Talent is Thursday, November 3, at 7 p.m. at North Augusta High School. $10 for adults; $5 for those 10 and younger. Proceeds benefit the Arts and Heritage Center. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. The Columbia County Fair is Thursday, November 3, through Saturday, November 13, at the fairgrounds in Grovetown and features rides, games, shows, a petting zoo, nightly entertainment, exhibits and more. $5, with nightly specials available. Visit columbiacountyfair.net. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com.

Health

MCGHealth will host a Basic Life Support Class on Thursday, October 27, at 1 p.m. in BT-1809 on the first floor of the Children’s Medical Center. Free for all MCG employees; $50 for the public. Preregistration required. Email bls@mcg.edu. Bariatrics Seminar will be held on Thursday, October 27, from 6-7 p.m. in Classroom 1 in the South Tower of Doctors Hospital. This class is ideal for people who want to know about all of their surgical weight loss options. Free. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. University Hospital will host an Introduction to Infant CPR Class on Thursday, October 27, at 7 p.m. in the University Hospital Lobby. Preregistration required. Free. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. 20 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

giddyup at the aiken fall steeplechase october 29

Total Joint Replacement Class is Tuesdays, November 1 and 15, from 1-3 p.m. at University Hospital’s Levi Hill III Auditorium. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery and You is a free class on Tuesday, November 1, from 6-7 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-8931 or visit universityhealth.org. Ready and Able, a three-session class for those in the third trimester of pregnancy, meets Tuesdays, November 1-15, from 7-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-6512229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. The Inaugural GHSU Dr. Lois Taylor Ellison Lecture Series features Dr. Marlene Rabinovitch, who will discuss chronic lung injury, cardiovascular development and disease, pulmonary vascular disease and pulmonary hypertension. The lecture is Thursday, November 3, at 4 p.m. in room 1222 of the Health Sciences Building. It will be followed by a reception. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Cribs for Kids, a Safe Kids East Central Class that will teach caregivers how to provide safe sleep environments for children, is Thursday, November 3, from 5:45-8 p.m. at MCGHealth Building 1010C. Those who can demonstrate V. 22 | NO. 61

financial need will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and pacifier. $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7217606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids. Center for Women Tour meets Thursday, November 3, from 7-8 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Child Safety Seat Inspections, offered by Safe Kids East Central, are available by appointment at either MCGHealth Building 1010C or the Martinez Columbia Fire Rescue Engine Company 3. Call 706-721-7606 for an appointment at MCGHealth or 706-860-7763 in Martinez. Car seat classes are also available by appointment at these two locations, and those interested should call 706-721-7606 for an appointment. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Breast Self-Exam Classes will be held every Tuesday through the end of the month at 5 p.m. at the University Breast Health Center. Registration required. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. Free HIV/AIDS Testing will be given all month long in various locations in the CSRA. Contact 706-721-4463 or visit csrasafetynet.org for a list of locations and dates.

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Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of MCGHealth. Visit georgiahealth.edu.

A-Team Autism Spectrum Disorder Support and Resource Group meets Tuesday, November 1, from 6-7 p.m. at GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center Family Resources Library. Free. Call 706-721-

Support

Sleep Apnea Support Group will meet on Thursday, October 27, at 7 p.m. in the GHS Children’s Medical Center Resource Library. Call 706-721-0793 or visit georgiahealth.edu.

at 6:30 p.m. in the MCG Movement Disorders Clinic conference room. Call 706-721-2798 or 706-231-2775, or visit universityhealth.org. The Lunch Bunch, a bereavement grief support group for adults, meets Wednesday, November 2, from noon-1 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ dining room A. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 803-641-5389 or visit aikenregional.com.

Cancer Share, a support group for anyone diagnosed with cancer, meets Monday, October 31, from 6-7:30 p.m. in University Hospital’s cafeteria dining room 1. Call 706-774-8308 or visit universityhealth.org.

Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at MCGHealth Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Burn Support Group meets Tuesday, November 1, from 10:30 a.m.-noon in the Lori Rogers Nursing Library in the JMS Building on the Doctors Hospital campus. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

This Place Matters: Preserving Augusta’s African American Communities is a twoday event sponsored by Historic Augusta and the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. It begins on Friday, October 28, at 7 p.m. at Tabernacle Baptist Church, and continues Saturday, October 29, at 9 a.m. at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. The event will also include a guided bus tour. $20 pre-registration fee includes all meals and the bus tour. Call 706-7240436 or visit historicaugusta.org.

Pink Ribbonettes, the American Cancer Society’s breast cancer self-help group for women with breast cancer, meets Tuesday, November 1, at Millbrook Baptist Church from 10:30 a.m.-noon. Free, but preregistration required. Call 803-649-9267 or visit aikenregional.com.

Education

scare your friends at everything pumpkins scarecrow contest october 29 5160 or visit georgiahealth.edu. CSRA Huntington’s Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, November 1,

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Camping with Kids, a seminar that provides participants with tips on feeding and entertaining kids while camping, is Saturday, October 29, at 2 p.m. at Mistletoe State Park’s assembly shelter. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks. org/mistletoe. “War Stories,” a video compilation of WWII recollections from area veterans, will show on Sunday October 30, at either 2 or 4 p.m. at the Aiken Community Playhouse. Call 706-738-8242. Veteran’s Oral History Project, led by Fred Gehle, is part of the Augusta Museum of History’s Brown Bag History lecture series. It is Wednesday, November 2, at 12:30 p.m. Participants should bring lunch and the museum will provide beverages. Free for museum of members; $3 for non-members. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Benefits

The GHS Cystic Fibrosis Center will host Great Strides FORE Cystic Fibrosis Foundation Golf Tournament Friday, October 28, at Forest Hills Golf Course. Proceeds benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Registration is $125 per player or $500 per foursome and includes green fees, range balls, lunch and a goody bag. Call 706-721-4658 or visit georgia.cff.org/greatstridesforecf.

Sports-Outdoors

The Augusta Riverhawks play the Louisiana Ice Gators on Thursday and Friday, October 27-28, at 7:30 p.m. $10$18. Call 706-993-2645. The Broad Street Ramble is Saturday, October 29, beginning at the Kroc Center, and includes The Gerald Jones 2-Mile Race beginning at 7:15 a.m. (registration, $28), the Kroc Center Fun Run 1-Mile at 8 a.m. (registration, $9), and the SRP 10K at 8:30 a.m. (registration, $35). A race expo with packet pick-up, vendors and activities is at the Kroc Center on Friday, October 28, from 3-8 p.m. Visit imathlete.com/events/ broadstreetramble. Augusta-Aiken Audubon Society Field Trip to Phinizy Swamp Nature Park is Saturday, October 29, at 8 a.m. Call 706-828-2109 or visit naturalsciencesacademy.org. Riedell Run 5K, a benefit for the Margaret Riedell Children’s Literature Scholarship, is Saturday, October 29, at 9 a.m. at USC-Aiken’s Pacer Path next to

Disc Golf for Kids’ Sake Halloween Bash is Saturday, October 29, at Wildwood Park. Registration is at 8 a.m.; the tournament begins at 10 a.m. Call 706-261-6342 or visit discgolfforkidssake.org. Pet-A-Fair, an annual benefit for the CSRA Humane Society, is Sunday, October 30, at the Julian Smith Casino. Doors open at noon; pet contests begin at 2 p.m. during this pet- and family-friendly event, which is free and includes silent auctions, raffles, a bake sale, a microchip clinic, refreshments, vendors and more. Call 706-261-7387 or visit csrahumanesociety.org. Oysters on Telfair, a fundraiser for the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art, is Thursday, November 3, from 7-10 p.m. at Ware’s Folly on Telfair. The event features raw and steamed oysters, live music, a full bar, an artwork silent auction, raffles and more. $65; $50 for members of Contemporaries. Call 706722-5495 or visit ghia.org. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com. 22 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

dance a jig with kevin burke october 28

the Convocation Center. $15. Call 803641-3564 or visit usca.edu. Aiken Fall Steeplechase is Saturday, October 29, at Ford Conger Field beginning at 9:30 a.m. Races begin at 1 p.m. $10 in advance; $15 at the gate. Parking is $10 in advance; $15 at the gate. Call 803-648-9641 or visit aikensteeplechase.com. Audubon Fall Rally is Sunday, October 30, from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Silver Bluff Audubon Wildlife Sanctuary. Open to the public, it features fast and slow horse trail rides, with costumes for horses V. 22 | NO. 61

and riders encouraged. Registration fee includes lunch. $40 in advance; $50 at the door. Call 803-471-0291 or visit audubon.org.

The Augusta Tuskegee Alumni Club is sponsoring a bus trip to Open House at Tuskegee University on Saturday, October 29. Open to all area high-school students, the trip is $65, which includes lunch, T-shirt and ticket to Tuskegee vs. Clark Atlanta football game. Call 706771-2555 or email tuskegeealumni@ bellsouth.net.

contests and truck or treating. For ages 12 and under, it is Saturday, October 29, from 4-7 p.m. Free. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Kids

Childcare and Babysitting Safety, a class for those from 11-14-years-old, is Saturday, October 29, from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. $30, with lunch included. Preregistration required. Call 706-4817604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

A kid’s movie will be shown on Wednesday, November 2, from 4-6 p.m. at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta. Participants are invited to bring their own refreshments. Call 803-2795767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Time to Scare Halloween Carnival will be held on Thursday, October 27, from 5-8 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Community Center. Ages 12 and under. Free. Call 803-279-1212.

Teen Talk, a class for teen girls and their mothers focusing on sensitive topics like peer pressure, drug use, sex and eating disorders, is Saturday, October 29, from 10 a.m.-noon at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-6514343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Steed’s Dairy in Grovetown, a working dairy farm that includes a corn maze, petting zoo, jumping pillow, tube slide, rubber duckie races, preschool pay area, hayrides, a pumpkin patch and more, is open through November 13. Hours are Friday, 5-10 p.m., Saturdays 10 a.m.-10 p.m. and Sundays, 1-6 p.m. $9-$12. Call 706-855-2948 or visit steedsdairy.com.

The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. Day of the Dead Party and Movie will be held on Thursday, October 27, at 5 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Ages 1218. Registration required. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Trick or Treat So Others can Eat will be held on Thursday, October 27, from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at Patriot Park’s Gymnasium. Trick or Treat with some of the area’s local businesses. Bring one can of food for admission. Call 706-3127192. Catch the Sun, a program for those ages 5 and up at Reed Creek Park, is Friday, October 28, from 4:30-5:30 p.m. Participants, who must be accompanied by an adult, will collect leaves and make suncatchers. Free for members; $2 per child for nonmembers. Pre-registration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Kid-Tacular Celebration, featuring arts and crafts vendors, live entertainment, attractions, games, raffles, food, costume contests and more, is Saturday, October 29, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Augusta Common. Free admission; rides, are .50 each, with proceeds to benefit the Christian Giles Scholarship Fund. Call 706-855-5035 or visit christiangilesscholarshipfund.com. Halloween Party for Children, including storytelling, games and a costume parade, is Saturday, October 29, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Scared Shrekless” and “Monsters vs. Pumpkins” are two short Halloween movies that will show at the Aiken Library on Saturday, October 29, from 3-4 p.m. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Family Night at the Kroc Center is Friday, October 28, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Trick or Treat on Newberry Street is a Halloween Festival in downtown Aiken that includes carnival games, costume

DECLASSIFIED

Night of the Undead, a teen event, is Friday, October 28, from 5:30-8 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. This zombie-themed event will include dinner and activities. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

French Language for Kids is a beginner’s class for those in grades 1-5 at the Aiken Library on Wednesday, November 2, at 4 p.m. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org.

5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Simple Cooking Class meets each Monday from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

do you know jack? find out october 28

Kackleberry Farms is open Saturdays 10 a.m.-10 p.m. and Sundays 1-5 p.m. Visit kackleberryfarm.com. Blown Away: The Wild World of Weather will be presented Saturdays in October at 7 and 8 p.m. at the DuPont Planetarium. $1-$4.50. Reservations recommended. Call 803-641-3654 or visit rpsec.usca. edu/planetarium. Toddler Story Time and Preschool Story Time take place every Thursday in September at 10:30 a.m. and at 11:15 a.m. at the North Augusta Library.

Hobbies

The Augusta Archaeological Society will meet Thursday, October 27, at 8 p.m. at T-Bonz on Washington Rd. Dr. Al Goodyear will be the guest speaker. Dinner optional at 6:30 p.m. Visit thesga.org.

The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-

Metro Spirit is seeking a Part-time to full journalist.

Host a Bridal Shower Wine Party! For the bride who doesn't need a toaster.

Journalism or English degree required. Experience working in a news gathering environment. Must have the ability to write straight news as well as features. Knowledge of Augusta. Hours to include some late nights. Reliable transportation a must. Please send clips and resume to Eric@themetrospirit.com.

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All declassified ads are Cash in Advance (credit card payment required) and are $40 per week. Visit metrospirit.com to place your ad in minutes. METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 23

24 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

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What could be better than a great coffee and a good book? When it helps your community. Shopping at GoodBooks Ca fé supports Goodwill’s job training and place ment services across the CSRA.

GoodBooks Café

Specializing in gourmet coffees, smoothies, paninis, salads, and VeryVera desserts Open Mon-Sat 9AM-8PM, Sun Noon-5PM 3179 Washington Road (Corner of Fury’s Ferry) Donate your gently used books today and help someone start a new chapter in their life! www.goodwillworks.org

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The Joy of Halloween Boo! Sewing costumes ‘til dawn on the 31st, kids wigged out on too much sugar, toddlers screaming in terror every time they pass a store display of a scary clown… the joys of Halloween are endless. Here’s a quiz to test your knowledge of candy trivia. Hope you can filch a couple of your favorites from your kids’ plastic pumpkins! 1. What candy was named after the daughter of its inventor? a. Baby Ruth b. Tootsie Roll c. Lollipop 2. What candy bar does Bart Simpson hawk in television ads? a. Butterfinger b. Snickers c. Milky Way 3. What year were Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups introduced? a. 1942 b. 1977 c. 1928 4. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? a. five b. three c. ten 5. How many Hershey bars would you have to eat to equal the amount of caffeine in one cup of coffee? a. Less than one b. Five to six c. More than twelve 6. The Baby Ruth candy bar is named for: a. President Grover Cleveland’s illegitimate daughter, Ruth b. Baseball great Babe Ruth c. Comedienne Ruth Buzzy 7. When the original 3 Musketeers bar was introduced in the 1930s, how does it differ from today’s version? a. it had peanuts in it b. it had three layers: strawberry, chocolate and vanilla c. it was in three separate pieces 8. How many calories are in a single Hershey’s Kiss? a. 15 b. 25 c. 45 9. Which is not the name of a real candy bar introduced in the 1920s? a. Fat Emmas b. Vegetable Sandwich c. Rocky Roadster 10. What candy melts in your mouth, but not in your hands? a. M&Ms b. Reeses Pieces c. Junior Mints ANSWERS: 1. B, 2. A, 3. C, 4. B, 5. C, 6. A, 7. B, 8. B, 9. C, 10. A HOW DO YOU RANK?: 8-10 Correct: That’s Good & Plenty. You’re a Hero. 5-7 Correct: That shouldn’t cause too many Snickers. Less than 5 Correct: Oh, Henry! You’re a Zero.

Fall is the perfect time to treat your kids to scary movies… within reason Several years ago, I walked into my house to find my husband and my then 4-yearold daughter bundled up on the sofa off watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. Not only that, they had all the lights in the house turned off. Prior to that night, I had not seen what has now become one of our family’s all-time favorite movies. I was livid with my husband for exposing our delicate preschooler to something that might potentially produce many sleepless nights. My husband waved off my concerns, even as, in Tim Burton’s twisted tale, Lock, Shock and Barrel kidnap “Santy Claus” and discuss ways to torture him before turning him over to Oogie Boogie, who plans to eat him. “OK,” I answered, shaking my head. “But if she wakes up with nightmares, you have to handle it.” Needless to say, I shouldn’t have worried. And now that fall weather seems to be rolling around and Halloween is upon us, it seems like the perfect time for a repeat viewing of this holiday classic. But still, I wonder: is it really OK for young children to watch scary movies? Maybe, says Dr. Alex Mabe, a psychologist with the Medical College of Georgia who focuses child and family work. But it depends on the circumstances and the movie in question. “There is some research that shows the more real the depiction of danger or violence in the entertainment children watch, the more impact it has,” Mabe explains. “That’s one of the reasons that there is such a big issue the video game media. The violence is so real and you’re participating in it.” So an animated feature might help a child, especially a younger one, figure out that what’s happening on the screen isn’t real. “The younger the child, the less capable they are of understanding the nature of what they’re viewing,” Mabe says. “Being able to tell the difference between real and not real is not as developed in young children.” School-aged children begin to be able to make this distinction, but Mabe said they should still be protected from graphic images and violence, whether they be in movies or on the news. Even teenagers, who may like to think they’re adults, need protection from some images out there. “Our entertainment industry has catered to the teenagers because that segment of the population makes money for them, but the level of violence, sexuality, drug and alcohol abuse make many of these movies not appropriate for anyone, quite frankly,” Mabe says. “There is consistent, cumulative research that shows that these images do influence people’s behaviors and emotions and we can’t ignore that reality.” And what’s the best way to combat these influences? Mabe says it’s good, oldfashioned parental involvement. “It’s important that if you are going to have entertainment with a certain amount of scariness in it to have the parents involved,” he says. “Observe your children to see if what they’re watching scares them. Give them feedback on what is real and what’s not.” Follow these general rules, and Mabe says there’s no reason not to enjoy a little bit of creepy fun. “Having said all that, there is a certain degree of fun with scary movies,” he says. “They arouse excitement in us. There is potential developmental value in having things that are not always light and happy, seeing characters going through bad times and having bad guys. The key is that they understand what it means — what’s real and what’s not real — and being there to help them make that distinction.” — Amy Christian NEW LOCATION · NOW OPEN

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3614-A J. Dewey Gray Circle · Augusta, Georgia 706-922-9222 w e s t s i de c a rdi ol ogy . n e t

V. 22 | NO. 61 PARENT ISSUE

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

TOP 10 Halloween Candies

Do you buy Halloween candy in the hopes of getting all of the leftovers, or do you have the interests of the neighborhood kids in mind? Either way, our crack research panel at the Daily Top 10 has come up with a list of candies that will get eaten ... quickly. 1. Snickers -- A candy bar with substance. These peanut-filled chocolate bars are filling enough that kids may only be able to eat a few of them. Then again, you shouldn’t underestimate the appetite of Halloween-crazed kids. 2. Nerds -- Basically, they are pure sugar coated with sugar. Nerds can be both fun and annoying due to the obnoxious rattling sound made by shaking the box. The best are the standard strawberry flavor. Daily Press introduces Daily Savvy Deals. Sign Up now to receive offers that are 50% off or more! 3. Tootsie Rolls -- These have been around for over 120 years and coming in various flavors, shapes, and sizes. Giving out the smaller sizes makes a candy bowl last longer, but the Tootsie Pops are the tastiest, especially the chocolate flavor. 4. Life Savers -- A good way to keep kids occupied. It takes a while to go through a whole pack of Life Savers. Also, a good trick is to give out the mint varieties. The mint flavors do not necessarily clean teeth, but they have less sugar and will keep the kids hygiene-conscious.

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

5. M&Ms -- It wouldn’t be Halloween without M&Ms. They are ingrained in our cultural psyche. If sugar and chocolate were medicine, they would come in the form of M&M’s. Also, it can be funny to see how picky kids are about the color of the candy coating. 6. Reese’s -- Come in standard-size and miniature peanut butter cups, as well as Reese’s Pieces. With all of that peanut butter, enough Reese’s cups could make a meal. Just don’t tell that to your kids. 7. Twizzlers -- Probably the sweetest store-bought version of licorice. Twizzlers have a fun shape, and they don’t get your hands messy. 8. Butterfinger -- Sinfully sweet. The flaky “peanut buttery” filling is so sugary that it sticks to teeth and fills the gaps between them. Butterfinger is most likely not the healthiest choice for dental hygiene. But what candy is? 9. Skittles -- Skittles are always very popular. Just watch out for the kids that try to see how many they can eat at one time. That can be scary. 10. Candy corn -- Somehow candy corn always seems to make the list. Young or old, not many people admit to liking this stuff. Still, you can be sure to see plenty of it this Halloween.

PARENT ISSUE V. 22 | NO. 61

Fear factor

More families are choosing to skip Halloween. That doesn’t mean the season has to be free of treats, however. Here are our top three alternatives. It’s that time of year again — the season of ghouls and goblins. Of sparkly vampires and fake blood. Of things that go bump in the night and zombies who want to eat your brain. What is scary fun for most children, however, is just plain scary to others and that makes celebrating Halloween difficult at best. Darkness? Costumes? Strangers? It seems harmless that one night a year, but for some children it’s not. It’s terrifying. And while the scariness of the holiday might be reason enough for some families to skip it altogether, other families have made a conscious decision not to celebrate Halloween on the basis of religion. These families may have a tougher time distracting their children, who may wonder why they can’t participate in something the rest of their peers are having fun doing. Whatever the reason, if you need an alternative to Halloween, here are our top three tips.

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V. 22 | NO. 61 PARENT ISSUE

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

Get out

Check out Metro’s Spirit calendar and you’ll see that there are a number of events going on in which participants will get the full flavor of the fall season without the decidedly darker influences it can sometimes bring. The newest entry as far as local attractions go is the Maize at Steed’s Dairy (pictured below). Steed’s, which is open FridaysSundays through November 13, includes a corn maze, hay rides, a petting zoo, a jumping pillow, a pumpkin patch, PVC slides, games and more. The Grovetown attraction, which is the only dairy left in Columbia County, is $12 for adults and $7 for children ages 3-7, but has coupons on its website (steedsdairy.com) and is constantly giving away tickets through Facebook contests. You can also call them at 706-855-2948. Another great local place to visit is Graystone Ranch Wildlife Education Center, which holds its Fall Fest through November 30. Open Fridays-Sundays, visitors have access to 500 acres of hiking trails, as well as fishing ponds. There is also a variety of kids activities to participate in, such as a pumpkin patch, a hay maze, hay rides, boat rides, tours of their animal rescue facilities (including tigers!) and more. Steer clear, however, of the Haunted Forest, which might scare some children. Admission is $10 and is good for the entire weekend, and Graystone also has cabin, RV and tent camping rentals available. Visit graystoneranch.com. If you think getting out of town for the weekend might lessen the sting of not celebrating Halloween, there are many weekend trips packed with fun things to do. Both the Columbia and Atlanta zoos (riverbanks.org and zooatlanta.org) have seasonal events scheduled, as do the aquariums in Atlanta (georgiaaquarium. org) and Charleston (scaquarium.org). A little closer to home, there’s Kackleberry Farm (kackleberryfarm.com) in Louisville, Ga., which open for Maize season through November 13 with more than 60 attractions.

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

Give back

Switching the focus from what they’re not getting to what they are doing is a great way to help kids get over any feelings of disappointment they might feel about not celebrating Halloween. And there are plenty of organizations in the area that could use help and will accept children as volunteers as long as they are accompanied by an adult. The CSRA Humane Society (csrahumanesociety.org) and Molly’s Militia (mollysmilitia.org) are two animal organizations that always need help with supplies and chores such as feeding animals, and Graystone Ranch says their rescue animals can also use extra help.

Change focus

Did you know October is National Cookie Month? Well it is, and it’s definitely a holiday worth celebrating. No greeting cards to mail. No costumes to make. No songs to remember. And the only decorations are completely edible. National Cookie Month is a great way to celebrate your devotion to one of life’s perfect foods, and spend some time with your family to boot. If you want to go all out, make a trip to your local bookstore and let your kids pick out a cookbook. Personally, we recommend “Mom’s Big Book of Cookies”—with more than 200 recipes, there’s sure to be something in there you’ve never tried before. Then, after a trip to the grocery store, of course, set aside an evening or part of a Saturday for baking some of your favorite (or newfound favorite) cookie recipes. What if you’re not into that whole cooking thing? No problem! Buy refrigerated dough or, better yet, get some sugar cookies from the grocery store bakery, a tube of icing and an assortment of hard candies and fruit to decorate them with. Your children will be thrilled at the chance to play with their food. And cleanup is a breeze, especially when paired with a tall, cold glass of milk.

PARENT ISSUE V. 22 | NO. 61

No Bumps in the Night

Safety tips to ensure it’s all treats and no tricks this Halloween If You’re Driving

to costumes and treat bags to make them more visible to passing cars. Props like swords or guns should be flexible so they won’t cause an injury if the child falls.

When your ghosts and goblins hit the streets this year to gather their Halloween loot, there are some important safety considerations to remember. Kids travelling the neighborhood after dark, ill-fitting costumes, candy from strangers and poorly-lit street crossings all have the potential for Halloween frights much scarier than Edward Cullen or a pack of zombies.

Keep in mind that there will be more pedestrians than usual. Drive slowly through neighborhoods, and anticipate witches and ghost crossings at curbs, driveways and medians. If you are driving children to trick-or-treat, instruct them to enter and exit the car from the curb, not from the traffic side of the car.

Outdoor Safety

Children under 13 should only trickor-treat with adult supervision. Older children should travel in groups. If possible, trick-or-treat only in areas with sidewalks. If this isn’t possible in your neighborhood, teach your children the importance of not cutting through yards, where hidden hazards like clotheslines, sprinkler heads and lawn ornaments can cause a tumble. Discuss the route you are taking with older children, so they will know how to find you (or their way home) if you should become separated. Discuss important pedestrian safety rules like stopping at street corners before crossing, walking not running and never crossing the street between parked cars.

Costumes

The most important consideration with any costume should be how well it fits. A costume that drags on the ground is a tripping hazard, and could potentially brush against a lit jack-olantern or catch on shrubbery and cause a nasty fall. Oversized shoes or costumes that restrict movement increase a child’s risk of falls or other injuries. Masks should have large enough eyeholes and fit securely to the face so the child can see clearly. Or better yet, consider using makeup instead of a mask. Add reflective tape

Candy Safety

If possible, limit trick-or-treating to houses where you know the occupants. Never allow children to take homemade goodies from strangers. Inspect your children’s candy before they eat it, removing any opened, damaged or suspicious-looking treats. By taking a few precautions, you can ensure that your kids have a safe and fun Halloween, and aren’t the ones going bump in the night.

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Free up space in your closet! Donate to Goodwill! Your gently used clothing, books, and household items support Goodwill’s job training and placement programs

www.goodwillworks.org V. 22 | NO. 61 PARENT ISSUE

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METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre presents

By Jones, Hope and Wooten

November 11, 12, 18, 19 & December 2, 3 Dinner, 7:00 p.m. | Show, 8:00 p.m.

“The funniest thing since GREATER TUNA!” The Lake County News, Lake County, CA “The play kept the audience laughing all night with the writers’ witty humor.” Garner News, Garner, NC “This hilarious comedy has been making audiences all over the country merry and bright!” The Malibu Times, CA

MENU Chicken Marsala Pork Medallions with Spiced Pear Sauce London Broil Glazed with Pineapple Salsa Rice Pilaf • Glazed Carrots Squash Casserole Scalloped Potatoes Au Gratin Green Salad with Assorted Dressings Deluxe Dessert Table

TICKETS Civilians: $40 Seniors (65 & over), Retirees, DA Civilians, Active-Duty E7 & above: $38 Active-Duty E6 & below: $30 Show only: $25

FOR RESERVATIONS, CALL 706 793 8552

It’s Christmas-time in the small town of Fayro, Texas, and the Futrelle Sisters – Frankie, Twink and Honey Raye – are not exactly in a festive mood. A cranky Frankie is weeks overdue with her second set of twins. Twink, recently jilted and bitter about it, is in jail for inadvertently burning down half the town. And hot-flash-suffering Honey Raye is desperately trying to keep the Tabernacle of the Lamb’s Christmas Program from spiraling into chaos. But things are not looking too promising: Miss Geneva, the ousted director of the previous twenty-seven productions, is ruthless in her attempts to take over the show. The celebrity guest Santa Claus – played by Frankie’s longsuffering husband, Dub – is passing a kidney stone. One of the shepherds refuses to watch over his flock by night without pulling his little red wagon behind him. And the entire cast is dropping like flies due to food poisoning from the Band Boosters’ Pancake Supper. And when Frankie lets slip a family secret that has been carefully guarded for decades, all hope for a successful Christmas pro-gram seems lost, even with an Elvis impersonator at the manger. But in true Futrelle fashion, the feuding sisters find a way to pull together in order to present a Christmas program the citizens of Fayro will never forget. Their hilarious holiday journey through a misadventure-filled Christmas Eve is guaranteed to bring joy to your world!

THEEIGHT BOX TOPS

Hey, it’s Halloween. Know how we can tell? There’s a scary movie at the top of the box office charts for the weekend. RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3

$52,568,183

REAL STEEL

$10,824,512

$66,732,152

FOOTLOOSE

$10,351,207

$30,364,238

THE THREE MUSKETEERS

$8,674,452

THE IDES OF MARCH

$4,853,051

$29,112,377

MOVIEREVIEW

“Take Shelter”

Kyle Brazzel Latest from Little Rock’s Jeff Nichols explores dread, expansively Compared to the new “Take Shelter,” Little Rock director Jeff Nichol’s haunting second effort, his “Shotgun Stories” now seems strong but small-bore. (Almost literally so: the screenwriter and director delivers one interpretation of his debut film’s anthological title when he pans his camera over the bare back of Son, his hero, and shows it pocked with buckshot.) If “Shotgun Stories,” which follows a blood feud among sets of Arkansas brothers, was a keyhole character study, “Take Shelter,” admirably, flings open the front door and has the filmmaker running confidently into big-sky Western territory, tinged with some Hitchcockian dread. That “Take Shelter” feels like the more expansive cinematic experience is unusual, given its claustrophobic premise. Curtis, a construction worker striving to provide for his wife and daughter, becomes troubled by visions of blackbirds swarming into a helix formation then dropping dead at his feet. Other premonitions lash him with caramel-colored raindrops and wind gusts from twin funnel clouds. All this makes the shadowy, earthen cloister of the backyard storm shelter look more and more appealing, and life above-ground fraught — too much to take, and let, in. In the film’s opening sequence, Nichols establishes Curtis and his family as residents of a small-ish town where backyards seep into farmland. In these shots, the camera lingers no more over the small mound of earth leading down into the storm cellar than on the rusting junk pile in the corner of the yard, or, for that matter, the rolling clouds at the top of the V. 22 | NO. 61

frame. In Nichols’ new assurance with the panoptic view of filmmaking the precedent that most came to mind was Richard Donner’s “Superman” — that movie’s early portion, set in Kansas, when a teenage Clark Kent discovers his otherness amid a placid eyeful of cornstalks and blue sky. The Fortress of Solitude has yet to beckon. The possibility of the supernatural at work — and the sort of looming infinite crisis that usually befalls caped crusaders — rumbles at the edges of “Take Shelter.” So, too, does the possibility that what plagues Curtis, with his family history of schizophrenia, are delusions of the particularly miserable grandeur of doomsday prophet-hood. The horror of “Take Shelter” is not that Curtis makes a fool of himself prophesying when no one will listen but that he swallows his shame, self-medicating and sneaking off for sessions with wellmeaning but underqualified therapists. He’s a male Cassandra whose curse is not incredibility but tightly corked self-loathing. It takes a stolid, self-contained specimen of masculinity to carry this off, and Nichols was smart to resummon his muse, Michael Shannon. (Shannon played Son, of the scarred back, in “Shotgun Stories.”) Shannon brings an aspect of stoic, walleyed noir to everything he does, which most often finds him in period pieces. His Curtis is a period man in modern times. His daughter needs a cochlear implant to reverse her deafness, so there are HMOs to negotiate; still, Shannon’s Curtis is not struggling to make sense of 21st century life so much as resigning himself to its complications, like a cell-phone tower he warily eyes

through a part in the window blinds, convinced it’s giving him a tumor. (It is a sign of Curtis’ timelessness that he not only takes a sit-down breakfast each morning, but one featuring fried sausage patties that have been handformed. Even at his film’s bleakest moment, Nichols never fails to find romance in fatty stovetop food.) Nichols and Shannon are a powerful pairing, but the work of the fineboned Jessica Chastain, as Curtis’ wife Samantha, grounds the film emotionally as she struggles to keep the couple’s finances on track for their daughter’s surgery, and, in a very real sense, to keep her husband above-ground. As Samantha awakens completely to her husband’s mania and its terrible ripple effects, the character could have amped the melodrama toward emotional manipulation. But Chastain, beneath her porcelain skin, contains a ferocity for maintaining normalcy to match Shannon’s gathering storm. If this all makes “Take Shelter” sound like a swirling, heart-racing

thriller, make no mistake — despite intimations that the sky is falling, the very knotty sense of worry the film incites in the viewer is for the characters’ sanity and stability, not the fate of the world. (Although when the film does give itself over to Curtis’ visions, Nichols shows that, as a technician, he is amply prepared to pull off Armageddon.) In fact, the film so sure-footedly picks up the path of naturalism upon which Nichols embarked with “Shotgun Stories” that “Take Shelter” is scarcely quotable. So to deliver the final summation, it falls to John Givings, the performance of Shannon’s that earned him an Academy Award nomination, for “Revolutionary Road.” “Plenty of people are onto the emptiness,” Givings says, “but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness.” Nichols has managed to craft a vision that sees it all, but still sees a way out.

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 25

Movie times are subject to change. October 28-29 Main Field: Puss in Boots (PG) and Monsters vs. Aliens (PG) Screen 2: Paranormal Activity 3 (R) and Killer Elite (R) Screen 3: Real Steel (PG-13) and Footloose (PG-13) Gates open at 7 p.m.; Movies start at 8:15 p.m. (approximately)

Masters 7 Cinemas

October 28 Straw Dogs (R) 4:15, 7:15, 9:40; Apollo 18 (PG-13) 7:30; Shark Night (PG-13) 4:30, 10; Colombiana (PG-13) 4, 7, 9:50; Our Idiot Brother (R) 5, 10; Fright Night (R) 4:15, 7:15, 9:40; 30 Minutes or Less (R) 7:45, 9:50; Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) 4:30, 7, 9:30; Crazy, Stupid, Love (PG-13) 6:45; The Smurfs (PG) 5:20 October 29 Straw Dogs (R) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:40; Apollo 18 (PG-13) 1:45, 7:30; Shark Night (PG-13) 4:30, 10; Colombiana (PG-13) 1, 4, 7, 9:50; Our Idiot Brother (R) 5, 10; Fright Night (R) 1:30, 4:15, 7:15, 9:40; 30 Minutes or Less (R) 7:45, 9:50; Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) 1:30, 4:30, 7, 9:30; Crazy, Stupid, Love (PG-13) 1:15, 6:45; The Smurfs (PG) 12:45, 3, 5:20

Evans Cinemas

October 28 In Time (PG-13) 2:30, 4, 5, 6:45, 7:30, 9:20, 10; Puss in Boots (PG) 2:40, 4:50, 7. 9:10; The Rum Diary (R) 4:30, 7:10, 9:50; Paranormal Activity 3 (R) 3, 5:15, 7:35, 9:55; The Three Musketeers (PG-13) 4:15, 6:55, 9:35; Footloose (PG-13) 4:10, 7:15, 9:55; The Ides of March (R) 4:20, 7:20, 10; Real Steel (PG-13) 3:50, 6:50, 9:40;

Courageous (PG-13) 3:40, 6:35, 9:35; Dolphin Tale (PG) 3:45, 6:35, 9:25; Moneyball (PG-13) 4:45, 8; Johnny English Reborn (PG) 4:40, 7:05, 9:45 October 29 In Time (PG-13) 12, 1, 2:30, 4, 5, 6:45, 7:30, 9:20, 10; Puss in Boots (PG) 12:30, 2:40, 4:50, 7. 9:10; The Rum Diary (R) 1:40, 4:30, 7:10, 9:50; Paranormal Activity 3 (R) 12:20, 3, 5:15, 7:35, 9:55; The Three Musketeers (PG-13) 1:25, 4:15, 6:55, 9:35; Footloose (PG-13) 1:20, 4:10, 7:15, 9:55; The Ides of March (R) 1:30, 4:20, 7:20, 10; Real Steel (PG-13) 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:40; Courageous (PG-13) 12:40, 3:40, 6:35, 9:35; Dolphin Tale (PG) 12:45, 3:45, 6:35, 9:25; Moneyball (PG-13) 1:45, 4:45, 8; Johnny English Reborn (PG) 1:50, 4:40, 7:05, 9:45

“Puss in Boots,” rated PG, starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis. Shrek, we can live without. But can this movie survive without an appearance from Eddie Murphy’s Donkey? The most interesting cat in the world is betting on it.

THRILLER

“In Time,” rated PG-13, starring Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Olivia Wilde. Time as currency is an interesting, if puzzling, idea for a film. Even more puzzling is how someone thought it was okay to make Olivia Wilde (“House”’s 13) Justin Timberlake’s mom in this “Gattaca” style thriller. That’s just wrong.

DRAMA

“The Rum Diary,” rated R, starring Johnny Depp, Aaron Eckhart. Much as the trailers for this movie would like you to believe, Johnny Depp isn’t playing Hunter S. Thompson (again) in this movie. Rather, he’s playing one of Thompson’s creations, Paul Kemp, a freelance journalist working for a paper in the Caribbean. Either way, looks like a crazy ride.

Regal Exchange 20

October 28-29 Puss in Boots (PG) 12:15, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 2:30, 2:55, 3:30, 4, 4:45, 5:15, 5:45, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:45, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15, 11, 11:30, 12:01, 12:30; In Time (PG13) 12:25, 1:25, 4:05, 5:05, 7:10, 8:10, 9:40, 10:40, 12:10; The Rum Diary (R) 12:05, 4:15, 7:05, 10:05; Johnny English Reborn (PG) 12:50, 4:20, 7:25, 10:05, 12:30; Paranormal Activity 3 (R) 12:15, 12:45, 1:15, 2:30, 3:05, 3:35, 4:45, 5:15, 5:45, 7:10, 7:40, 8:10, 9:25, 9:55, 10:25, 11:40, 12:10; The Three Musketeers (PG-13) 12:30, 1:05, 4:10, 4:40, 7, 7:35, 9:35, 10:10, 12:15; Footloose (PG-13) noon, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10:20; The Thing (R) 12:20, 2:55, 5:25, 7:55, 10:25; The Ides of March (R) 12:20, 4:40, 7:20, 10:15; Real Steel (PG-13) 12:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30; 50/50 (R) 1:10, 4, 7:05, 8:30, 11:55; Courageous (PG-13) 1:05, 5:05, 8, 10:50; Dolphin Tale (PG) 12:10, 2:50, 5:30, 8:10, 10:50

HOT AIR AUSTIN RHODES 3PM - 6PM

26 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

FAMILY

“Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”

Nicholas Cage generally plays Nicholas Cage in films. Not here. He transforms into a drug-addicted cop so completely it is riveting to behold. From facial tics to body language and a fantastic Hunchback of Notre Dame posture, this is his best work in years. I know that’s not saying much. But you have to remember the actor from before he became a whore for the dollar. This will jar your memory.

WERECOMMEND

The Big Mo

OPENING FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28

THE8ERS

V. 22 | NO. 61

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Grant Grantham, Brooke Fulin, Ben Daniel and Clay Young at the Gold’s Gym grand re-opening.

SIGHTINGS

Steve, Kim and Samantha Newman with Lacy at the ribbon cutting at Evans Town Center Park.

Jennifer Garland, Stephanie Mountain, Jim Beck and Angie Herndon at the ribbon cutting at Evans Town Center Park.

SIGHTINGS

Kasie Newman, Aubrie Hayes and Sarah Boykin at Wild Wing Cafe.

Sara Jefferson, NBC “Today” co-host Hoda Kotb and Rhonda Graybeal at the We Think Pink Banquet at the Augusta Marriott.

SIGHTINGS

Mary Baker Maund with Mark and Christie Maund at French Market Grille.

V. 22 | NO. 61

Jenna Scherer, Ivan and Mollie Trinidad and Jeilyn Trinidad during Spinning on the River for the Georgia Firefighters Burn Foundation’s Camp Oo-U-La.

Corey Durrence, Carla Johnson, Brandy Sanders and Robert Crosby at Allie Katz.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Jennifer Mitchell, Layne Stalvey and London Arashiro during Spinning on the River for the Georgia Firefighters Burn Foundation’s Camp Oo-U-La.

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 27

CUISINESCENE Always a Party

With Oktoberfest 2011 over, Villa Europa sets its sights on the holidays

Oktoberfest may be over, but that doesn’t mean that the party atmosphere at Villa Europa is gone. Gemuetlichkeit, a German word that co-owner Pat Schaffer says loosely translates to hospitality, is on the menu every day at this Augusta institution which has, in some form, been around since the late 1960s. The use of that German word and the yearly celebration of the most Bavarian of holidays, however, doesn’t mean that Villa Europa is strictly for those craving brats and sauerkraut. “German food is part of our menu, but we serve great Italian food as well. And people tell us we have the best prime rib in town,” Schaffer said. “And people say we have the best escargot and French onion soup in the world — their words, not mine. Our former owner was French, but it [the soup] was not his recipe. My mother developed it with him. She hated his recipe and really made that soup what it is today.” Schaffer’s mother is Anneliese Schaffer-Neises, who joined Villa Europa in 1977 when it was still called Roman Villa. She served as general manager until 1989, when Fred Ozanne sold it to her and Schaffer.

28 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

The French onion soup, Schaffer said, is just one example of her mother’s expertise in the kitchen, experience that began at age 17 when she was trained as a butcher at a delicatessen in Germany. “In Germany, you learn a trade,” Schaffer explained. Schaffer-Neises passed that love of cooking on to her daughter. “I always had a love for and an interest in food,” Schaffer said. “People always thought I was a nutty kid because, when we vacationed in Italy, on the Italian Riviera, I wanted to hang out in the kitchen in the hotel instead of on the beach.” Schaffer and her mother oversee the kitchen at Villa Europa, and one may wonder how the mother-daughter dynamic plays out in the cooking process. “My mother is absolutely the best cook I’ve ever met, but we do clash in the kitchen sometimes,” Schaffer laughed. “I have a different style. Mine, I cook more with fresh herbs. I’m more fusion cooking, she’s more traditional.” Much of the herbs Schaffer uses in her cooking come from SchafferNeises’ garden on the bier garten deck at the restaurant.

“My mother has a green thumb,” Schaffer said. “She plants awardwinning bougainvillea, hibiscus and we plant our own herbs, too. We can’t supply all our needs, but we do use them whenever we can. I forage in the garden often. I love it.” The restaurant has two experienced cooks with differing styles, and that has led to some innovative ideas, one of which is the Chef’s Corner. Available most night, patrons who request the Chef’s Corner basically put themselves in Schaffer or her mother’s hands. “My mother or I come visit you and make you a special meal,” Schaffer explained of the new idea. “But they have to be willing to leave it up to us.” That should be no problem for most of Villa Europa’s patrons, who know and trust Schaffer and her mother’s commitment to the restaurant’s food. But just because they’re serious about food doesn’t mean they don’t like to have some fun. Whether it’s Schaffer’s spontaneous waltz, a habit of dancing in the restaurant when a waltz comes over the restaurant’s sound system, or the Bavarian cowbells, on which they can play “Ein Prosit” (“Cheers”) or “Happy Birthday” for customers, those who visit Villa Europa know they’re in

for a unique experience. Now that Oktoberfest has come and gone, Thursday Tunes is another aspect of the restaurant that Schaffer said will make a reappearance. The night, usually celebrated in the bar and on the bier garten deck when night are mild enough, might feature karaoke, jazz or R&B. And, as always, the restaurant offers off-premise catering for groups as small as 20 on up. And just because Oktoberfest is over doesn’t mean that the restaurant will be taking it easy for the rest of the year. Villa Europa has seven dining rooms that are very popular for holiday parties… for good reason. The restaurant, Schaffer said, can tailor the menu, the music, the decorations and even has audiovisual equipment in most of the rooms. It’s a season that Schaffer and her sister, assistant manager Peggy Schaffer, are gearing up for now. “For every season there is a display and, for the holidays, Peggy, my sister, decorates the restaurant,” Schaffer said. “It’s a winter wonderland. We do all kinds of villages and scenes. We have trees in three rooms, maybe four and, on the deck, the chiminea is going almost every night.” Celebrating the holidays, like most everything else Villa Europa does, is all part of the restaurant’s mission. “Gemuetlichkeit really encompasses and summarizes what we’re all about,” Schaffer said. “We’re all about pleasing people and the fondness for good food and good times.” And those are things patrons will find in abundance at Villa Europa. Villa Europa 3044 Deans Bridge Road Lunch: Monday-Friday, 11 a.m.-3 p.m.; dinner: Monday-Saturday, 5-10 p.m.; Sunday dinner, noon-9 p.m. 706-798-6211 villaeuropa.com

V. 22 | NO. 61

ART45

AMYCHRISTIAN

Dancing Queen

Australian takes on role made famous by Meryl Streep in the film version of “Mamma Mia!”

When Australian-born Kaye Tuckerman (pictured above, center) was growing up, she loved ABBA. Fast forward to present day and, as Donna Sheridan, the lead character in the touring company production of “Mamma Mia!,” she often looks down to see children about the same age as she was when she first started singing along to songs like “Dancing Queen” and “The Winner Takes It All.” “It’s delightful for me,” Tuckerman said from West Palm Beach, Fla., where the show will be staged before they head to Augusta. “There’s all these little girls at the musical who’ve never heard of ABBA and they’re just singing along.” And though the Broadway musical was a smash and spawned several incarnations around the world, Tuckerman credits the woman to whom she is now always compared. Meryl Streep played Donna Sheridan in the 2008 movie, also a smash hit. “How sick do I get of being compared to Meryl Streep?” laughed Tuckerman, who gets praise for her performance but also draws attention because she has short dark hair as opposed to Streep’s longish blonde hair. “Um, that’ll be never. The day I could live up to those expectations will be a day filled with great humility.” Tuckerman said she and the rest of the V. 22 | NO. 61

touring company will have performed “Mamma Mia!” 342 times by the time they reach Augusta and are set to perform it a couple of hundred times more by the time the second leg of the tour is over. That’s approximately eight shows a week, eight shows filled with lots of singing, dancing and remembering lines. “It’s a pretty grueling schedule and it’s funny how your body and mind respond,” she said. “I totally lose track of the days. You almost do it on purpose. I just do yoga, go with the flow and enjoy it. And then I think how lucky I am to have an amazing job like this. I get to see America as well, and Canada. Places I just never anticipated I’d be able to go.” The hard work, she said, is worth it, especially when she sees the audience’s reaction. The universal appeal of the musical, about a mother, a daughter, a wedding and three possible fathers, is something Tuckerman gives a lot of credit to the film for, but says that the 1970s Swedish pop group ABBA deserve almost as much. “They were brilliant musicians,” she said. “When their songs first came out, people thought they were just pop music, just this pop group from Sweden. But the more music they put out, the more you realized what clever musicians they were, especially with the lyrics.” The lyrics mirror the point of the story:

that people aren’t perfect. “It’s about people who are fallible, and I think people relate to that,” she said. “Whether it’s that they left the milk out or ran over the cat, they didn’t mean to. We all make mistakes. At the end of the day, we’re not out to hurt anybody. We’re just trying to live our lives.”

“Mamma Mia!” Bell Auditorium Tuesday, November 1 7:30 p.m. $50-$60 877-4AUGTIX georgialinatix.com

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 29

Death is big business in Japan, with 1.2 million people a year passing away and overtaxing the country’s cemeteries and crematoriums. With the average wait for disposal at least several days, and space running short in funeral homes, “corpse hotels” have opened in many cities, with climate-controlled “guest rooms” renting for the equivalent of about $155 a night, with viewing rooms where relatives can visit the bodies daily until cremation is available. The world’s real economy may be flagging, but not necessarily the make-believe economy of online multiplayer games, according to reporting by The Wall Street Journal (July) and the website Singularity Hub (August). For example, entrepreneur Ailin Graef’s Anshe Chung Studios is worth “millions” of real U.S. dollars, earned mostly by managing rentals of make-believe real estate and brokering make-believe money transactions in the game Second Life. Graef also commands top (real) dollar for her designs of make-believe fashions for players’ game characters (avatars). Two other companies are suing each other in federal court in San Francisco over the copyright to their lucrative business models of creating make-believe animals (horses, rabbits) that sell very well to players who take them on as game pets for their characters or breed them to make other make-believe animals.

Weird Science

In July, a surgeon from Britain’s Oxford Radcliffe Hospital announced a cure for a 57-year-old man with a rare condition that made, in his mind, audible and everlouder sounds whenever his eyeballs moved. “Superior canal dehiscence syndrome” elevates the interior sounds of the body (such as heartbeat and the “friction” of muscles moving against muscles) to disturbing levels. In an art-science collaboration in August, Dutch artist Jalila Essaidi and Utah State researcher Randy Lewis produced a prototype bulletproof skin — or at least skin that would limit a .22-caliber bullet to only about two inches’ penetration into a simulated human body. Genetically engineered spider silk (reputed to be five times stronger than steel) was grafted between layers of dermis and epidermis. Mused Essaidi, we “in the near future... (may) no longer need to descend from a godly bloodline in order to have traits like invulnerability....”

Leading Economic Indicators

Turned down once before, liquor manufacturer EFAG convinced Germany’s Federal Patent Court in September to award trademark protection to its schnapps with the brand name Ficken, which in German translates directly into what in English is known as the F word. The court acknowledged that the name is unquestionably in poor taste but is not “sexually discriminatory” and does not violate public morals. In fact, the court noted, the word is widely used in Germany.

DMV Is a Dangerous Place

A 56-year-old DMV driving tester was killed in July when the woman she was evaluating ran off the road in Williamsburg, Va., and struck a tree.

Least Competent Criminals

In Winder, Ga., Micah Mitchell was arrested in October shortly after, according to police, he crashed through the front door of a BP station to steal merchandise. He was arrested minutes later a few miles from the station, where he had run out of gas.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You may want to Google the Chinese character that means “double happiness” and use it as your ruling symbol. And it might be time to explore and experiment with the concepts of “super bliss,” “sublime delight” and “brilliant ecstasy.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) An English woman named Lena Thouless celebrated her birthday on November 23. When she was 106, her daughter found her birth certificate and realized that mom had actually been born on November 22. Something you’ve believed about yourself for a long time is about to be revealed as slightly off.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “Everyone is a genius at least once a year,” said scientist Georg Lichtenberg. Confirm the truth of that aphorism. Your idiosyncratic brilliance is rising to a fever pitch, and may start spilling over into crackling virtuosity any minute now. Be discriminating about where you use that stuff.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You’re ready to shed juvenile theories, amateurish approaches or paltry ambitions. Your definition of success needs updating, and I think you’re up to the task. The Big Time is calling you; have brainstorming sessions with allies who know your true potential and can assist you in formulating aggressive plans to activate it more fully.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) I know a woman who claims on her Facebook page that she speaks four languages: English, Elvish, Mermish and Parseltongue. Expand your mastery of foreign tongues, even if it’s just one of the above. You will have a greater capacity for learning new ways to talk than you have since childhood.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “Life is not just a diurnal property of large interesting vertebrates,” poet Gary Snyder says in “The Practice of the Wild.” “It is also nocturnal, anaerobic, microscopic, digestive, fermentative: cooking away in the warm dark.” Celebrate the unseen powers that sustain the world.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Wherever your love has felt pinched or claustrophobic, treat it to a liberation. If it has been hemmed in by a lack of imagination, saturate it with breezy

FREEWILLASTROLOGY

The Entrepreneurial Spirit!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

London Fashion Week usually brings forth a shock or two from cutting-edge designers, but a September creation by Rachel Freire might have raised the bar: a floor-length dress made from 3,000 cow nipples (designed to resemble roses). Initial disgust for the garment centered on implied animal abuse, but Freire deflected that issue by pointing out that the nipples had been discarded by a tannery and that her use amounted to “recycling.” The 32-year-old Freire, who has worked with mainstream entertainers such as Christina Aguilera, was kept so busy with the animal-abuse angle that she was largely spared having to explain another issue — why anyone would want to wear a dress made with cow nipples.

fantasies and flamboyant dreams. Cut it free from petty emotions that have wounded it, and from sour memories that have weighed it down.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

The owner of a pizzeria in Mildura, Australia, updated “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade” in 2010 when the area was invaded by swarms of locusts: he used them as a topping. So if life gives you a mini-plague of locusts, make pizza garnished with the delectable creatures.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Some doors are almost always locked. On those infrequent occasions when they are ajar, they remain so for only a brief period. Be alert for the rare opening of such a door. You may be able to gain entrance through — or perhaps exit from — a door or portal that has been shut tight.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Microbiologist Raul Cano managed to obtain a 45-million-year-old strain of yeast from an ancient chunk of amber and used it to make beer. One critic praised Fossil Fuel pale ale for its sweetness and clove aroma, while another said it has a “complex and welldeveloped taste profile.” Extract the vital essence from an old source, and putting it to work in the creation of a valuable addition to your life.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“When I read a book on Einstein’s physics of which I understood nothing, it doesn’t matter,” testified Pablo Picasso, “because it will make me understand something else.” It’s almost irrelevant what subjects you study, investigate and rack your brain trying to understand; the exercise will help you stretch your ability to master ideas that have been beyond your reach.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“Sit, walk, or run, but don’t wobble,” says the Zen proverb. Cultivating unity among all your different inner voices will be a high art you should aspire to master. Do it with relaxed singlemindedness.

Rob Brezsny

FREEWILLASTROLOGY@FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM 30 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

V. 22 | NO. 61

BRANDIFREEMAN

Scare Tactics

Which Augusta haunted houses are worth the drive… and the price? Blood, guts and gore may be frightening, but the scariest thing in Augusta is the price of trying to find a real thrill. Over the past decade, haunted houses have grown extensively popular in the Augusta area. They have gone from neighborhood fun to department store sized sinister mazes. Additionally, the prices have gone up. Three of this year’s main Halloween attractions in the CSRA are the Nightmare Plantation haunted house (Grovetown), the Frightmares haunted house (West Augusta) and the veteran of Augusta, Plantation Blood (Hephzibah). I took a weekend to visit each in an effort, on the Metro Spirit’s behalf and at their expense, to uncover the hype held behind these attractions crawling with teenagers and even preteens. As a college senior paid to check these places out, rather than a screaming teen or a haunted house junkie, would the level of entertainment and the amount fear these three places inflict be worth the drive… and the price? My first stop was Frightmares, formerly JoAnn’s Fabric Store on Wrightsboro Road. This desolate building was draped in all black. We purchased tickets at the front of the building and were required to walk around to the back in order to enter. I appreciated this mysterious effect, as it did contribute to the haunted aspect. However, when I was admitted to the haunted house loud heavy metal and smoke blazed the air. They explained the rules to my group of three. We were not allowed to touch anyone inside and we were not allowed to have phones. Additionally, we were informed that the monsters would be nice to us as long as we were nice to them. (This philosophy I did

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not understand.) Then two guides were permitted as a part of our group. Once we stepped foot into the black hallway it was lined with glow in the dark decals and stickers. It felt like I was in a 10-year-old’s room; not exactly frightening. Honestly, there was a lot of white light coming from the ceiling, as well. This threw off the scary tactics because half of the battle in a well thought out haunted house is fighting your way through the darkness. As expected, people popped out and there were clowns, of course. However, I was caught off guard more so than I was spooked by any of the scenes or the costumes. If the terrified tween in front of me had not demanded that I hold onto her for dear life, I would have zoomed through the cloudy maze with ease. We were followed through the hallways by the characters often portrayed as crazed butchers or clowns whenever we escaped their grasp in each of the rooms. If I was about five years younger this probably would have had me running for my life. But, I’m not going to lie; I was pretty creeped out by this. The walk throughout the entire house was about 15 minutes; maybe 20. So, that’s about a dollar per minute. That experience was not near worth the whopping $18 dollars they charged. The way up to Plantation Blood, my next stop in Hephzibah, is chilling in itself. The makeshift driveway led into the entrance of a bumpy dirt road filled with gravel. It sets an unsettling tone for what is about to happen. When I approached the front of the line, they explained that we were on our own inside. There would be no guides. No cell phones or purses were allowed. The monsters were allowed to touch us

but we could not touch them. (What?! Obviously they did not know me very well.) My group of four held on tightly to one another as it was pitch black. We were somewhat led by the first monster, but were then left in a room that appeared to have no doors; just a coffin. We ran into walls and bumped one another to find whatever secret passage we squeezed into. I could see absolutely nothing and we did not know which way to go. On top of that, I was the tail end of the line so I had this hunch that someone or something was going to come tip-toeing behind me. So we rummaged around from room to room, encountering a girl resembling some sort of an exorcism victim… and clowns, of course. My absolute favorite parts were the wall that began to close in on our group and a bridge that shook from side to side while this glow in the dark tunnel we were inside of began to rotate. It only lasted about 20 minutes but, still, it wasn’t bad for the $18 admission. Finally, I visited Nightmare Plantation, located off of Gordon Highway in Grovetown, directly across from the Augusta State Mental Prison. As I drove past a parked police car with its lights flashing in front of the prison, I made my way to a rocky dirt road that led to a huge open field. Those in line were overseen by this quiet man with platform shoes. Blood ran down his white mask. Later, he served as somewhat of a guide, pointing us into the tiny house. A flat-screen television spit out rules and gave a brief history of a doctor who founded the medical prison who supposedly performed vile experiments in his home on the patients. So far, so good. But, at first, when we walked in,

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 31

it was kind of corny. There were fake spiders and glow in the dark paint going down the entry hall. Patients were sitting on their beds or behind bars yelling or crying. Then we were led outside and told to follow the lighted pathway though some sort of a cemetery to a second house, and that’s when things went a little crazy. There were people hanging from the walls and ceilings. Then we found ourselves in a room where the only way out was through this gigantic piece of inflated black plastic. I climbed inside (holding on to my poor friend like the jaws of life) and realized it was a lot longer than I thought. Once we were out, we made our way through a huge spinning tunnel that led to some water shooting out of a fountain. At this point, I was just puzzled. But the costumed actors told us to go down a hallway. It was full of dead bodies in plastic bloody bags. This got to me. I had endless episodes of “First 48” running through my brain and I hesitated awhile before I could walk through. Finally, we had made it to the end. Men with chainsaws chased us into an elevator where we thought we were safe. But the elevator wouldn’t move. Groaning, slurred voices began to scream at us and beat on the elevator. I

pressed all the buttons and it began to dip down and pop back up. Then the door reopened and the nightmare began again. A truck blew its horn and headed towards us. My friend and I dashed down the hallway, only to find people being sawed open while they were still alive. I was completely caught off guard when I thought it was over but it really wasn’t.

Eventually we found ourselves back outside; safe. We followed the lit path as instructed. Then more people popped out of nowhere, even a dog. They had chainsaws and chased out to the parking lot. I was scared out of my wits at this point. This one was totally worth the drive and it was only $15. As a teenager, my friends and I begged and pleaded with our parents to

attend such Halloween attractions, but the prices were not nearly as steep as they are now. At $15-$18, the amount of money these haunted houses are making is scary but are they a good deal for those looking for a good scare? Weighing the time, price and drive, the answer is still up to the individual. Hopefully, though, I’ve provided a little help in making that decision.

ALL-NEW SHOW | WITH LIVE ORCHESTRA

JAN 31, 2012

WILLIAM B. BELL AUDITORIUM TICKETS: (888) 974-3698, AugustaShow.com Presented by Falun Dafa Association of Atlanta

32 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

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Thursday, October 27 Live Music

Bell Auditorium – Neil Sedaka Coyote’s – Ladies Night w/ Jeremy Graham Etherredge Center – USC-A Jazz Ensemble French Market Grille West – Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground – David W. Malibu Jack’s – Marilyn Adcock One Hundred Laurens – Kenny George Rose Hill Stables – Preston, Weston and Sandra Sky City – Dead Confederate Somewhere In Augusta – Joe Stevensom Wild Wing – Outshyne

What’s Tonight?

Casa Blanca – Thursday Tango Club Argos – Karaoke Cocktails Lounge – Karaoke Coyote’s – Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge – Karaoke Fox’s Lair – Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille – Trivia The Highlander – Butt Naked Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge – DJ Fred Nice The Loft – Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) – Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) – Karaoke Pizza Joint, Evans – DJ Kris Fisher The Playground – Open Mic with Brandy Polo Tavern – DJ Nirvana Shannon’s – Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta – Karaoke with Charles Villa Europa – Karaoke with Just Ben Wooden Barrel – ’80s Night Karaoke

Friday, October 28 Live Music

Country Club – Thomas Tillman Coyote’s – Joe Olds Band Doubletree Hotel – 3 Sides of Jazz Evans Town Center Park – Lady Antebellum Fox’s Lair – Jared Gay French Market Grille West – Doc Easton Joe’s Underground – Stone Dogs Malibu Jack’s – Yesterday’s Dream Sky City – Bloodkin, Biscuits & Grady Somewhere In Augusta – Jar Stillwater Tap Room – The Corduroy Road Wild Wing – Hallowing Weekend w/ Moby Dick The Willcox – Kenny George

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos – Variety Show Cocktails Lounge – Grown-Up Fridays with DJ V. 22 | NO. 61

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 33

Cork and Bull Pub – Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge – Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill – Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge – Caribbean Night with DJ Spud Mi Rancho (Downtown) – Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) – Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) – Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s – Karaoke Palmetto Tavern – DJ Tim Polo Tavern – Robbie Ducey Band Rebeck’s Hideaway – Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe – Karaoke with Steve Chappel Somewhere in Augusta – Footloose Dance Party Soul Bar – Disco Helloween Tropicabana – Latin Friday Wheels – Live DJ Wooden Barrel – Karaoke Contest

Saturday, October 29 Live Music

The Acoustic Coffeehouse – Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Country Club – Halloween Party w/ John Carl Joe’s Underground – Stone Dogs Farewell and Halloween Bash Malibu Jack’s – South Atlantic P.I. Bar and Grill – Not Gaddy Jazz Polo Tavern – Jim Fisher Band Sky City – Turf War Halloween Show Wild Wing – Hallowing Arachnophobia w/ Mad Margritt

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos – Variety Show Cocktails Lounge – Latin Night Coyote’s – Halloween Party Fishbowl Lounge – Karaoke Fox’s Lair – Halloween Karaoke Party Helga’s – Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge – Reggae Night with Island Vybez The Loft – Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) – Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) – Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) – Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s – Karaoke One Hundred Laurens – DJ Kenny Ray Tropicabana – Salsa Saturday Wheels – Live DJ Wooden Barrel – Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, October 30 Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro – Buzz and Candice 34 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

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P.I. Bar and Grill – Live Music Wild Wing – Sabo & Mike

What’s Tonight?

Caribbean Soul – Love Jones Sundays Mi Rancho (Downtown) – Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) – Karaoke, Salsa Dancing

Monday, October 31 Live Music

Sector 7G – Halloween Punk Show w/ Choke Slam, Forgetting Fera, Misfits Cover Band, GodVomit, Mudbrute Sky City – Funk You Halloween Party Soul Bar – Romance Languages, Surf/ Harp What’s Tonight? Applebee’s (Evans) – Trivia Club Argos – Karaoke Malibu Jack’s – Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) – Karaoke with Danny Haywood Somewhere In Augusta – Poker Tourney Wild Wing – Bingo with Kevin

Tuesday, November 1 Live Music

Cocktails Lounge – Live Music Fox’s Lair – Josh Fisher The Highlander – Open Mic Night Joe’s Underground – Happy Bones Sector 7G – KOII, We Are the Union, Former Thieves, Last Call, Dead End Sons, Mudbrute, Forerunner

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos – Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge – Dart League The Highlander – Open Mic Night Islands Bar & Lounge – DJ Fred Nice Malibu Jack’s – Karaoke with Denny Somewhere in Augusta – Trivia with Charles

Wednesday, November 2 Live Music

209 on the River – Smooth Grooves Joe’s Underground – Sibling String Malibu Jack’s – Marilyn Adcock Manuel’s Bread Café – Haley Dries

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos – Santoni’s Satin Dolls Club Rehab – Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Cocktails Lounge – Augusta’s Got Talent The Cotton Patch – Trivia and Tunes with Cliff Bennett Laura’s Backyard Tavern – Karaoke The Loft Karaoke V. 22 | NO. 61

METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 35

Mi Rancho (Downtown) – Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) – Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Place on Broad – Jazz DJ The Playground – Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Somewhere In Augusta – Comedy w/ James Sibley and Dan Whitehurst

Upcoming

Randall & The Rest of ‘Em – Joe’s Underground November 3 Eye of Abram, Uncrowned, My Latest Fashion – Sky City November 3 Rob Foster – Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruise November 4 Freddy Cole – Etherredge Center November 4 Karen Gordon – Boeckh Park in Hammond’s Ferry, November 4 Brent Lundy Band – Polo Tavern November 4 Augusta Choral Society – Sacred Heart Cultural Center November 5 Morris Davidson – Manuel’s Bread Café November 9 Jim Perkins – Metro Pub & Coffeehouse November 10 L.i.E., Artemia, Rooftop Harbor – Sky City November 11 Jessica Lea Mayfield, Richie, Carey Murdock – Sky City November 12 Three Kosher Singers – Imperial Theatre November 13 Bamboo – Polo Tavern November 14 Kicks 99 Guitar Pull – James Brown Arena November 15 Haley Dries – Manuel’s Bread Café November 16 Russell More and IIIrd Tyme w/ Nu- Blu – Imperial Theatre November 18 Dash Rip Rock – Metro Pub & Coffeehouse November 19 Casting Crowns, Sanctus Real & The Afters, Lindsay McCaul USC-Aiken Convocation Center – November 25 Avenged Sevenfold – James Brown Arena November 26 Black Swan Lane, Romeo Spike – Sky City December 1 Jucifer – Sky City December 8 Zach Deputy – Sky City December 9 Those Darlins – Sky City February 1

Elsewhere

Feist – Tabernacle, Atlanta November 6 Todd Rundgren – Center Stage, Atlanta November 9 Duran Duran – Chastain Park, Atlanta November 14 Peter Murphy, She Wants Revenge – Masquerade, Atlanta November 14 Michelle Shocked – Eddie’s Attic, Decatur November 15 36 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

V. 22 | NO. 61

Evanescence Is Crap

INMUSIC

I made a trip to one of my favorite old places in Augusta this past weekend, the back bar at 1102 Downtown Bar and Grill. I haven’t been in a while and forgot how much fun the back bar is. Pool tables, live music and, most importantly, booze. Usually the only reason I don’t like going out on a Saturday night is college football, but 1102 has you covered. A couple big screens had on the big game Saturday night with Michigan State pulling it out at the last second. Okay, this is not a sports column. Someone emailed me this weekend and said that they thought I would be happy because rock music was at the top of this past week’s iTunes album chart. So I got excited, jumped on my laptop and who is it? Evanescence! F-U! Evanescence is crap. I think I’ve gone over this before, but to bring it into perspective, I would rather listen to a solo concert of Scott Stapp’s than listen to one note coming out of Amy Lee’s mouth. I feel better. In the “What the Hell News of the Week,” one of John Lennon’s teeth is expected to sell for $16,000 at an auction in England on November 5. Really? The late Beatle gave the tooth to his housekeeper in the late ’60s. Lennon found out that her daughter was a Beatles fan, and told her to give it her as a souvenir. Look, a drumstick is a souvenir. A guitar pick is a souvenir. But on the plus side, we could get some DNA off of the tooth and, like “Jurassic Park,” eventually reform the Beatles. Hahahah (evil laugh). Oh how I love me some Shirley Manson. Expect a new Garbage album in stores in March or April of next year. After a very public breakup… again, Liam Gallager tells Rolling Stone magazine that he would consider reconciling with his brother Noel and reuniting the band Oasis for the 20th anniversary of the release of “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory.” “In 2015, if we can put our s*** aside, we can tour and play the album in its entirety for the 20th anniversary,” he says. “I’d be up for that, if it’s on our terms. There’s got to be two-way respect.” Coldplay’s new album, “Mylo Xyloto,” is out today. What does the title mean? I have no idea, and neither does Chris Martin. It’s kind of like when he named his daughter Apple. Great idea. This is the band’s fifth studio album. Also out this week: Kelly Clarkson, Joe Jonas and Tom Waits. I figure I had to mention those just to level out the playing field and make it seem like I’m open minded. Halloween weekend is packed with events; who would have guessed? Surrey Tavern is having their first annual Halloween bash on Friday night, Wheels N Heels is having Nightmare on 9th Street on Friday night as well, and a great lineup will be at the Playground Friday night with Shotgun Opera and The Atom Blonde, and that’s just to name a few. It’s called bar-hopping people, get used to it. Saturday night is packed as well. If you want to win some money and grind up on some chicks, Vue is giving out $2,500 in cash and prizes. (I’m assuming heavy on the prizes). What shows am I missing? What venues do I need to check out? And more importantly, where are the best drink specials in town? Email matt@themetrospirit.

Matt Stone — can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. V. 22 | NO. 61

LI V E MU S IC. NO C O V E R !

SPOOKTACULAR COSTUME CONTEST

WITH

HUNDREDS OF $$$ IN CASH & PRIZES

MAD MARGRITT

(1ST, 2ND, 3RD PLACE)

Shuck-toberfest Oyster Roast

BEFORE THE HALLOWING THRILLS! SATURDAY, OCTOBER 29TH LIVE MUSIC WITH OLD MAN CRAZY

Washington Road just past I-20 • 364-WILD (9453) w w w. w i l d w i n g c a f e . c o m METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 37

EARDRUM

Chuck and his wife run Downstairs Live, a private concert series streamed live from their home. He also dabbles in photography and videography. For more info, go to crwconcepts.com or downstairslive.com.

The Rock Boat, a music festival at sea Chuck Williams

In late 2000, we were hitting shows around the southeast and started hearing about this cool thing being planned called The Rock Boat. The idea was to have concerts on a cruise ship while sailing to different destinations. This proposed “music festival at sea” was created by Sixthman, a company out of Atlanta that thinks outside the box. We were intrigued, so we took a chance and booked a cabin aboard the inaugural Labor Day Rock Boat Cruise of 2001. There were 400 of us rock boaters mixed in with the other 1,600 regular cruisers, and we spent four days partying and doing excursions. But on the final night we were treated to a concert featuring Sister Hazel and Dexter Freebish. The experience was amazing, but it got even better the next two years. In 2002 and 2003, the Rock Boat story was making its way around the country and more fans were becoming interested in booking cabins. So instead of reserving a portion

of the rooms, Sixthman stepped it up and booked the entire Carnival Sensation. They filled the ship with 2,000 music fans and scheduled 37 artists to perform, which made for an incredible atmosphere! Everyone on the ship had the same taste in music and loved hearing it live. Needless to say, the alcohol was flowing and the vibe infectious. I had never seen an event where 2,000 people were drinking and living large, yet no one was obnoxious or fighting. Kudos to all those Rock Boat guests and the way they represented themselves. We barely slept for the entire cruise, up 20 hours a day because we were scared we’d miss something. The Rock Boat philosophy… we can sleep when we get home! Someone like Sister Hazel’s Ken Block might start the morning off by doing a 10 a.m. solo set by the pool, and the music would continue throughout the day, ending sometime around 2 a.m. We would get the day’s music schedule and map out our plan like we were preparing

Cutting back without cutting corners Centre at Evans

Mullins Crossing

Fury's Ferry

Augusta Exchange

4217 Washington Road (In the Target/Ross Center) Evans, GA 30809

403 Fury's Ferry Road (Publix Center) Martinez, GA 30907

1143 Agerton Lane (Across from Regal Cinemas) Augusta, GA 30909

706-860-0501

706-863-0677

706-651-8900

706-737-9358

Centre @ Evans

Mullins Crossing

Publix

Regal Cinemas

Baston Rd

Crossroads Market

Aiken Eastgate

404 E. Martintown Road (in the new Big Lots Center) North Augusta, 29841

803-641-6600

Crossroads Market

Shoppes at Richland 3601 W Richland Ave (next to Walmart)

803-641-2899

248 Eastgate Dr (next to Publix)

Hours: M-F 9-9 Sat 9-7 Sun 10-6

803-613-0030

Publix

Big Lots

.99 haircut

Offer Expires: 11/11/2011

Not valid with any other offers. Limit one coupon per customer. At salons listed.

38 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

Robert C Daniel Jr

Washington Rd

Great Clips

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for a day at Disney World. Amazing moments could have taken place at any time, and we wanted to be ready. One night when all the shows were over and most on the ship had gone to bed, musicians from different bands started to gather on one of the stages. Before long an impromptu jam session had started. Lucky for us, we were there to see it! Till this day, those images pop into my head and make me smile. Fortunately, we went on these cruises with our concert partners Wayne and Darlene. We shared hundreds of music memories with them over the years, and when we get together, those stories always come up. A bit of advice… if you go on one of these cruises, be sure to have at least four in your group. You’ll thank me. We stopped going on the cruises in 2004 because our brand-new mortgage took priority. But that’s also right about the time we started holding the concerts in our home. The atmosphere

of our shows and the fact that many of our music friends would return for the next show made me think that we had something very similar to the Rock Boat. We just didn’t float. So I have referred to Downstairs Live on many occasions as our stationary Rock Boat. Sixthman provides music fans across the world with a one of a kind music experience. My goal is to do the same with our Downstairs Live events. Since those early days of the Rock Boat, Sixthman has pioneered the way with other music-themed cruises. Currently they have 12 different ones throughout the year and have hosted more than 30 full ship charters since our first boat ride in 2001. They are America’s fastest-growing travel company, and people who go on one of their cruises have a 60 percent likelihood of returning… pretty amazing. If you are into music and would like to go on a one-of-a-kind vacation, check out sixthman.net and start making plans.

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V. 22 | NO. 61

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METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 39

ONTHEBALL

Matt Lane is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-Talk-Sports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at Mattlane28.

Coaches’ Conundrum

Blowouts look good at first glance, but are they really that great for the winning teams?

If you’re a regular at football games here locally, you have no doubt been subject to a hefty share of final scores that sent you home with more questions than answers. Even on nights where dominance is the only word you can use to describe what happened, vagueness is what you’re left with, definitively speaking. Huh? “And your final score from tonight’s ball game: Burke County 84, Cross Creek 7.” Thomson 63, Harlem 0. Strom Thurmond 77 Gilbert 6. Blowouts seem obvious in their outcomes. One team looks out of this world, while the other just looks outclassed, outmatched and endlessly flawed. Kudos are in order for the victor. Post-game, the coaches are anxious to heap praise and sound off in pre-recorded clichés congratulating the team on “perfectly executing the game plan” and “taking care of business.” After doing this, though, many times while walking back to the locker room, those coaches begin the anxiety-filled cycle that coaches are ingrained to go through. But sometimes, the result just mixes into a compound angst that only worries the coaches that much more. “It’s frustrating,” says Thomson Offensive Coordinator Tucker Pruitt, as the Bulldogs have won their last five games by a margin of 291-26. “Now don’t get me wrong, I’m always thankful for a win, but it does make other parts of the job a little more difficult. Sometimes it’s just your night and your opponent could look as bad as they have all year. It’s just hard to rate your team’s progress after games like that.”

40 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

Part of the reason for the disparity in scoring margin has to do with Region 3-AAA not being as competitive as in years past with competitive teams in the middle. The top has some of the best teams in the state, but there is a severe drop-off after that. For Thomson, it’s been worrisome for their new coaching staff as they are still getting familiar with the tendencies of the kids on the team. “Many times this year we have finished around the mid-20s in our total snap count for our first team offense,” Pruitt explains. “Teams we’ll likely play in the playoffs are getting 50-plus snaps each game, so we have to adjust our practices a little to make sure we get our work in.” Coaches are paid to find insufficiencies in their team, shore up their weaknesses and also forecast potential bumps in the road as the season progresses. It’s in the details. They sweat the small stuff, which is why, for several teams in our local area that’ll have a chance to be contenders come playoff time, these wide margins of victory can be burdensome at times. “We usually do what we can for a half, and sometimes in the first couple of series of the third quarter,” says Strom Thurmond Head Coach Lee Sawyer, whose defense has only given up double-digit points three times this year. “Once they go to a running clock, we step off the gas. Most coaches understand.” The conundrum for coaches is that while they don’t want to rub it in the face of any opponent, they have to work on their game plan and get as much “game action” for their players as they can. And too many games in a season like the ones referenced earlier hurt more than they help. For a few reasons: 1. Coaches, players don’t “participate” in a full game.This is allencompassing: offense, defense and special teams. It is impossible to replicate what happens under the lights against an opposing team. Coaches and players aren’t put between a rock and a hard place in big game moments, and players don’t learn how to finish an entire game. 2. False sense of self. Getting too strung out on compliments and overdosing on confidence can gear your team to float in and out of consciousness. Entering “win or go home” games with a big head or distorted self image will quickly punch your ticket back to the house. While the game must be physically played to win or lose, it can be lost mentally weeks in advance. This certainly gives us something to think about next time we see a game that gets out of hand. The winning coach might have more on his mind that we once thought.

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ADVICEGODDESS

Whiff the Wrong Man

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I admire that you often add research to your columns, so I thought I’d ask you about an article I read on birth control pills. Apparently, taking the pill can cause the “wrong” man to smell good to you — a man you might not be into once you’re off the pill. Unfortunately, I experience severe mood swings when I’m not taking the pill — uncontrollable rages for about a week a month. But, now I’m worried that I’ll choose a partner I’ll lose interest in reproducing with when I’m off the pill. Also, I wonder whether being on it is lying about who I am. Of course, if I can’t control my mood swings, it won’t matter, because I’ll scare every man away! — Medicated

It seems those health class videos about getting your period — “You’re a woman now!” — were a tad incomplete. One week a month, you’re also Chuck Norris. The cause of your rage probably isn’t all the people saying deeply offensive things to you like “Are you using that chair?” but a nosedive in your level of “the happy hormone,” serotonin. Dr. Emily Deans, a psychiatrist with the terrific blog “Evolutionary Psychiatry” on psychologytoday.com, explains that your period gets launched by a drop in progesterone, “which can interfere a bit with the machinery that makes serotonin. This can lead to hunger, cravings, agitation, insomnia, irritability and rage” or, to put it in relationship terms: “Someday, my prince will run.” Deans says the pill can help alleviate these symptoms, and certain variations seem especially helpful: the 24-day pill and the three-monther (meaning Auntie Flo visits only once every three months). The problem is the issue you brought up. The article you read references the research of Swiss biologist Claus Wedekind, who made a bunch of women sniff a bunch of men’s stinky T-shirts to study the pill’s effect on mate preferences. Women who weren’t on the pill went for the smell of men with dissimilar immune systems — men with whom they’d produce children with a broader set of immune defenses. Women on the pill preferred the smell of men with immune systems similar to theirs (the immunologically redundant), probably because the pill chemically mimics pregnancy and cues a genetic adaptation that leads women to seek out kin to protect them when they’re pregnant. If that isn’t enough bad news for you, the pill’s pregnancy simulation seems to kill the attractiveness bump women get at ovulation, their most fertile time of the month, when their faces, scent and other features become subtly more appealing to men. (It may also lead ovulating women to dress and act less provocatively than they otherwise would.) In a study by psychologist Geoffrey Miller, female lap dancers not on the pill earned an average of $276 a night whereas those on it brought in only $193, making pill-using lap dancers $80 less hot and sexy to men per night. So, the answer for your mood swings is… count to 10 when you get angry (because it sometimes takes that long for your rocket-propelled grenade launcher to warm up)? For a more peaceful alternative, Deans advises that some women’s PMS symptoms are alleviated by certain antidepressants (SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, such as fluoxetine and sertraline) but notes their problematic downside: “Nothing kills sex drive like an SSRI!” Deans has had some success prescribing bupropion, a non-SSRI antidepressant she calls “unlikely” to be a sex drive killer, but observes that “it can be agitating and cause insomnia.” As a possible non-drug alternative, Deans suggests magnesium malate supplementation: “Five hundred milligrams of magnesium malate at bedtime seems to help with anxiety, rage and PMS symptoms such as cramps and headaches,” she says. “Magnesium is typically low in standard American diets and not found in large amounts in multivitamins and is generally safe if you have normal kidneys.” Deans adds that cycling from a low-carb diet to a higher-carb, low-protein diet three days to a week before starting your period can ease PMS symptoms, possibly by helping with serotonin uptake. There is a prejudice that you’re a better person if you just try to meditate yourself out of your rage on those weeks when you find yourself in the mood for long walks on the beach followed by a home strangling. But fixing brain problems by taking a pill is really no different from taking insulin for diabetes to keep from going into a diabetic coma. You’re just taking a brain that’s slacking off in the neurochemical department and bringing it up to par. Especially once you’re in a relationship, a little “better living through chemistry” (or diet or vitamins) certainly seems preferable to doing “the little things” to keep your love alive — like sticking Post-its around the house with cute little messages like “Homicide comes with a stiff prison term.”

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©2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email adviceamy@aol.com. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon’s book: “I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society” (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

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Open Late Every Tuesday 5PM to Close METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11 41

Buzz Cuts for Everyone

The Girl gets a gift that keeps on giving while on vacation at the nation’s capital. Insert political joke here. As a child, there are many rites of passage. You lose your first tooth, learn to ride a bike, get your first kiss and fall in love. There are skinned knees, broken hearts and toppled ice cream comes. If you’re a parent, you remember going through each one and revel in and cringe at each passing milestone. Most of us also remember at least one time when our parents combed every hair on our head because someone at school was infested with lice. Gross, right? I’m itching just thinking about it. The thought of even a single louse is revolting. The thing is, they always come in pairs and often in droves, affecting every human in their path. (Apparently, pets can’t get lice. Who knew? Well, there is a separate strain that gets birds, but that’s another story.) We have had two such experiences in our family. Once, The Boy got it, and we were in a house full of adults and children, out of town over winter break. We panicked a little, treated him, covered his head in olive oil and

a shower cap and sent him to bed. No one else in the house got it, which we considered our Christmas miracle. Fast forward to last weekend. We are on our family trip to D.C. It was a great trip. We went to the White House, the Capitol, various branches of the Smithsonian and the presidential memorials. We walked, shopped and ate good food. We also discovered lice. Dammit. It had been such an easy weekend, with The Kids being an age that makes travel enjoyable even. Sunday morning, we awoke to find The Girl’s hair especially disheveled, and she was scratching furiously. Uh oh. Upon quick inspection, it was determined that she probably was afflicted. We quickly packed the car, knowing that when we returned to Augusta we’d have some work to do. We traced out steps. The first thought, naturally, is that we picked it up in D.C., mingling with the general public, and using public transportation. But because I’ve done a little research in the past,

we knew that the incubation period was much longer than that. We brought it from Augusta. A conversation with my dear friend Jason sums it up well. “Wait. You got lice from the White House?” He was gob smacked. What a crappy souvenir. “No, we gave it to the White House. And the Capitol. And the Smithsonian. We gave lice to Abe Lincoln.” I guess that’s one way to express any distaste for the current state of the U.S. economy. Oh stop. Don’t go calling the Secret Service or anything. I didn’t do it on purpose. So there’s that, too. Not only does my little girl have dirty bugs in her hair, but we unknowingly passed it along. My kids are really good at playing with others, but this wasn’t what I had in mind when I taught them lessons about sharing. We got home Sunday night after a long nine-hour drive and still had to “treat” the lice. The Kids, Mama and The Man were all whipped, but we prevailed. We spent the next hour sitting on the bathroom counter, combing every

single hair on their precious little heads. The Boy even suggested family buzz cuts to avoid the tediousness of it all next time. Dear God, please don’t let there be a next time. I kept them out of school one more day, treating them one more time and rewashing their hair. They enjoyed the extra day of vacation, and I felt better knowing that we (hopefully) didn’t pass this along to another family. Everything you read says that lice like clean hair. Getting lice isn’t something that happens to dirty people. Yeah, sure, and they tell brides that wedding day rain is good luck. If clean hair keeps the bugs at bay, we’re moving to a weekly bathing plan. KIDDING.

JENNYISWRIGHT

42 METRO SPIRIT 10.27.11

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Deputy J.D. Paugh

“A MAN’S MAN”

I've known JD for 20+ yrs worked with him for 15 at the Sheriff's Office. Always had a smile on his face, a man's man. He loved his job and loved helping people. He will be sadly missed. -Jimmy Vowell I did not personally know the officer but by all accounts he was a great guy. I also lost a brother in blue who I was very close to and I know what his fellow officers are going through right now. You never get over it. you just learn to live with it. It could have been any of us and my hearts goes out to Sheriff Strength and the fine men and women of the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office. Please know we are all grieving with you. To his family, please know your loved one was a hero and died doing what he loved to you. May God bless you and strengthen you in the days to come. -David Rush Columbia County Sheriff's Office It was a privledge to know, work and ride with JD. He loved his job as a Motorcycle Officer and wore the Motorcycle Wings with honor. I will never forget the smile he kept on his face and the how he could keep your spirits up regardless of what you were going through. He died a hero, doing what he loved the most and now we all have another guardian angel watching over us.. We love you and miss you brother. -Inv. Philip Snead He never met a stranger. JD you were loved and you will be missed. Ride Home My Friend and be with the ANGELS. -Investigator Cheryl D. Dorsey Criminal Investigation Division I have known J.D. Paugh for just a short period, even being a fellow LE Officer for 15 years in Columbia County. I remember meeting him for the first time during a special assignment with the RCSD. He was very pleasant and comical making all who were around him very welcome. We will miss him dearly. -Inv. E. Nash Garrett Columbia County Sheriff's Office I worked in Richmond County with J.D. in the motor division for about 6 years. I had many good years with J.D. It will be hard to find anyone to say a bad word about him. -Kenny Curtis J.D., I just want to say my heart goes out to your family. I didn’t know you personally but I feel connected. May God bless your family and help them to heal from this tragedy -Audrey Wadley Columbia County Sheriff Deputy Jailer I've worked for RCSO for nearly 16 years and known JD since my first day as a rookie on the Road Patrol. As the years passed by and I went on to CID as an Investigator, I never failed to see JD without a smile on his face. He was always ready to work, and If you happened to be in foot pursuit with JD nearby, chances are you'd here that Harley coming to back you up. JD had been involved in some pretty serious accidents over the years and I always expected that one day he would had enough of the motor, but he never did, and was still riding til the end. My wife (recently retired due to cancer) Allison Godden, remembers JD's smile and laugh. And today, while riding up to St. Mary's School, she automatically looked to where JD would park on Monte Sano Avenue, waiting to pull funerals ...and he wasn't there in person, but he'll always be there in her heart. -Paul Godden Investigator / RCSO Homicide / Narcotics / Violent Crimes -Allison Godden Investigator (Rtd.) RCSO Violent Crimes / Burglary / Technical Crimes God bless you J. D., for the work you did here and for the lives you touched. We will never forget you, brother. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. -John K. Scott CCSO 213 J.D., Thank you for all of the wonderful memories. The great meals at the Masters. You will forever be in our hearts and will be truly missed. -TG T31 1085 off and end of watch. Housing Squad B Full of joy, laughter, and always smiling -Brad I will miss JD’s smile -Donna Wonderful-always happy. Will miss you dearly. -Teri and Vince. Such a funny guy..always. Wanted to arrest me -Lisa Love me some “Burt.” –Jan Yu Rode with the winds -Doug S.

“Lot of discretion and a good smile”

Look out JD-that waters wet!!! I will wait for those figure 8’s my friend til we meet again. Love you man -Stormy Bubbles God Blessed us with angels and real men like JD. He was a true friend. –Richard Ingram You’ve traded your traffic wings for angel’s wings . Thank you for your service and friendship... R.I.P. my friend. …we’ll take it from here. –Judy Thomason JD was the same person in and out of uniform -Cherie JD was a wonderful person. He always kept a smile on everyone’s face -Kayla He had such a big heart and left an impression on everyone he met. I was so lucky to have known him. He was truly a hero and a great friend -Cicley Climer JD was the friend that truly wanted to know how you were doing …and made you realize how valuable you were to him and others. He was so protective and kind. That’s what made him one of the best in law enforcement and as a person. So many love you JD…and you will always be missed. -Lige’