Metro Spirit 11.29.2012 by Metro Spirit

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METRONEWS CROSSWORD AUGUSTA TEK FEATURE

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EVENTS CALENDAR JENNY IS WRIGHT SIGHTINGS PET PAGE

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SLAB MATT’S MUSIC

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THE8

WHINE LINE

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

Metro Spirit piritt is a free nnewspaper published publisheed weekly on Thursday, Thursd sday, 52 weeks a yea year. ar. Editorial coverage ge includes local issues issu sues and news, arts, s, entertainment, peo people, eople, places and apppear views from ac cross the political and an social spectrum.. The views do not necessarily n represen ent the views of thee ppublisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© events. In our paper appear across represent Publisher: Joe White. e. Legal: Phillip Scotttt Hibbard. Reproduc ction or use without ut permission is proh hibited. One copy per peer person, please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Pu Owner/Publisher: Reproduction prohibited.

CONTENTS

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|senior account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

MichaelJohnson|sightings ValerieEmerick|writer AmyPerkins|editorial intern LauraPerry|volunteer

WHINELINE My sister went to Wal Mart after midnight Thanksgiving night to save $30 on a steam mop. True story. Okay...we GET it!...The Spirit and some whiners don’t like Lori Davis, Bonnie Ruben or Brad Owens.....get over it and move on already...you’re acting like what THEY do, can actually have an impact on your daily

lives...never mind that they try to hold accountable those that actually DO make decisions that affect you....maybe your disdain should be reserved for those in government and appointed positions who could care less how they screw the county and by extension , the taxpayer..... Hmm?

then 100% of your money will help if you go through Red Cross. if you go through a place like a franchise then lonlyq a portion of your money will go to the effort. The bigger portion will go to your mouth. Let’s think about and help others first instead of feeding our faces... Also, why is barometric pressure given to the hundredth place If you truly want to help out with value on GAC when it is NOT the relief effort for Sandy Storm, even reported by the Aug. Chr. or our local weather anchor

folks? While we are talking about weather, why is the sunrise and sunset reported to the 30 second mark by our only morning radio show? I know that the 6 or so pilots in the CSRA may use the BP but the other 99.99876% don’t really give a hoot. Stop picking on Bonnie Ruben! She has put a lot of hard work and money into keeping an historic business open

downtown.. one ne that spans a century no less! She wasn’t one of the ones who gave up on downtown when the others fled to the malls. Bonnie has never taken a dime in government handouts that so-called downtown “power-brokers” have and only two of her properties are vacant and they are in far better condition than some of the real eyesores downtown. (continued on page 50)

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Holiday Spirits: Local beverage store wants to help you learn how to throw a great party… by throwing a great party Newborn U: AD may be the unlikely key to the successful delivery of the new school Fixing Funding: Commissioners debate stormwater options Under Observation: Private probation finding itself in the spotlight Headhunters On the Way: Committee approves consultant to track down unpaid business licenses

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

THUMBS

A True Augusta Mystery? It’s been reported that the Imperial Theatre is nearing its fundraising goal of $250,000, an amount that represents the 25 percent match needed to unlock $1 million in SPLOST funding. They’ve done a lot recently to try to get this money, and insiders speculate the $40,000 needed to put them over the top will arrive in time, given the coordinated holiday push. And a limited-edition Henry Wynn print certainly can’t hurt. But while few would question the significance of the Imperial to Augusta’s arts community or what an asset a fully restored and vibrant Broad Street theater could have on any number of downtown ventures, not everyone has forgotten the theater’s troubling, though largely ignored, past. Just five years ago it was discovered that vendors were not getting paid, and a look at the books revealed $150,000 in missing money. Imperial Theatre Director Lara Plocha was fired, yet ultimately there was no resolution as to where the money went. $150,000 is a lot of money to come up missing. An awful lot of money. One red flag — while orders for liquor were up considerably, revenue from mixed drinks was down. Off the record, there was a lot of anger and a genuine sense of betrayal by those on the board at the time, yet no forensic audit was ever performed to determine where the money went. Additionally, no police report was filed. At the time, everyone was silent. No one on the board wanted the bad press, so it was swept under the rug. Over the years, however, some of those involved have loosened up a bit about where the money might have gone. As a nonprofit entity receiving taxpayer dollars, you would have expected a thunderous chorus of outrage and jeering to get to the bottom of it all, but alas, it has remained a true Augusta mystery… to some.

Black Friday spending was up 14 percent over last year.

down

Black Friday spending is now as important as Thanksgiving with family.

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Ride, Horseman! Ride! As we’ve said before, with the A more or less saved (some say less, but we’ve all got to save face, right?) and the TEE Center management agreement put to bed, Augusta has become a boring place. Well, while the cavalry hasn’t exactly arrived, there’s evidence to suggest the horsemen are riding hard. Their dust, as we predicted, is starting to darken the horizon. At the committee meetings this week, feisty commissioners pushed back against the city business proposed by Administrator Fred Russell, forcing him to back off, rally his own troops, and prepare to fight another day. It’s hardly a good old-fashioned air rights argument, but beggars can’t be choosers, can they? One involved a $400,000 change order to the architects for the Municipal Center renovation and modernization, paid to accommodate the changes the commission made to the project a few months ago. Remember those life safety and fire safety issues? Well, the changes made back then are having some hard financial consequences now, and Rev. J.R. Hatney wasn’t happy about it. Specifically, he wanted to know what the starting construction figures were, arguing that, without them, Russell was, in effect, allowing the design firm to write a blank check. Hatney, of course, seems to be suspicious of any big-ticket item with a price tag, and he makes it clear with his abrupt delivery that he is not open to any argument or fact that goes counter to his suspicions. After meek resistance, Russell recommended postponing the issue and bringing it back to committee with some additional information. He can’t drag his feet too long, however — Marion Williams is fast approaching, and he promises to make Hatney look like a nice, if slightly confused, little old man. The second issue involved the walkway between the TEE Center and the

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TEE Center parking deck, a link between hot potatoes. This time Russell started out looking to spend $991,561 for the design, fabrication, installation and startup work involving the pedestrian bridge. Almost immediately, he wanted to bring it back to the next committee meeting, but not before Joe Bowles was able to let it be known that there was no way he was going to allow proceeds from an electronic sign planned to hang above Reynolds Street end up with Riverfront LLC, managers of everything about the place including the kitchen sink. Whether or not the Georgia Department of Transportation would allow the sign is beside the point. Commissioners are reading the fine print again, which means that the legal department can prepare for more open records requests.

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Two People I’m Not Going to Think About Any More (Until the New Year)

As you could probably tell from last week’s overwrought, first-year-grad-student diatribe, I’m a little burned out on politics. The nationwide zeitgeist is not only a rapidly evolving one — something this last election substantially bolstered — but one that is evolving more and more towards the socially progressive. So yeah, don’t get me wrong, I’m really freaking happy about that: the victories posted by advocates of marriage equality and marijuana legalization, not to mention the overwhelming Democratic victories and the GOP being strongarmed into not running any more rape apologists, can be nothing but good for the long-term future of this country. The afterglow is, however, dampened by an overwhelming exhaustion. Aside from sitting down to write this column every week and putting on MSNBC in the mornings while I’m getting ready for work, I can’t generally tolerate political dialogue. Even on the left, it’s become so self-congratulating and masturbatory, each network tends to operate strictly within the confines of its own echo chamber. It’s nothing new, really, but it can wear on a mind and body. Of course, there are still some figures out there that will be on the receiving end of one of my logic-flailing diatribes. They’re still around, still at least semi-relevant, and still semi-deserving of wariness and scorn. For the time being, though, we’ll stick with mini-diatribes. Think of this as a sneak preview for a column you’ll never read. 1. Grover Norquist If you’re a hardline conservative, you have a blownup photo of Grover Norquist taped to the ceiling above your bed, and you spend your nights waiting for the adhesive to give. If you have a lick of common sense or know the first thing about the effect that certain tax policies can have on the populace, then you know that Norquist is a drooling lunatic who lives in a world of his own construction, where income tax doesn’t exist and Ayn Rand is printed on our quarters. Prior to the 2012 election, 238 out of 242 House Republicans and 41 out of 47 Senate Republicans signed a “Taxpayer Protection Pledge,” authored by Norquist, which binds the signee to “oppose any and all efforts to increase the marginal income tax rate for individuals and business; and to oppose any net reduction or elimination of deductions and credits,

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

unless matched dollar for dollar by further reducing tax rates.” Essentially: no new taxes. Ever. Even if your country could really use the cash, and only plans to raise taxes on ultra-upper-bracket taxpayers. Recently, though, four high-profile Republican lawmakers — Lindsey Graham (SC), Saxby Chambliss (GA), Peter King (NY), and Bob Corker (TN) — indicated that they would not follow through on their pledge-related obligations if doing so was against the best interest of the nation. Norquist immediately went into damage control mode, stating that this was simply an isolated case of four lawmakers having “impure thoughts,” because Grover Norquist is a lazy-eyed goober with a sixth-grade understanding of both tax policies and sexual arousal. He’ll always be somewhat relevant among hardcore conservatives, and will mostly likely be a leader in the inevitable Looney Tunes version of the GOP that’s going to break away from the establishment in due course. But his claim to power and influence wanes with each establishment Republican that flies the coop, and his protracted, Glenn Beckian downward spiral is going to be delicious to watch. 2. George P. Bush This family is just f***ing with us now, right? I mean, I don’t think they expect us to not know one of their clan when we see them, but this rotating middle initial crap has got to stop. It doesn’t help that George is a lazy name in the first place — these unimaginative hillbillies are recycling it amongst themselves like a moldy heirloom, expiration date circa 2008. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah: so just who in the blue, thundering hell is George P. Bush? Glad you asked. In familial terms, George P. is the son of Jeb and nephew of George “W” W. Bush. Though he tends to sidestep direct questions about his intentions to pursue public office — citing the very real and very hilariously monikered “Bush fatigue” among the populace — recent and not-so-recent events indicate otherwise. Let’s look at a timeline: 1988: At age 12, speaks at the Republican National Convention when his grandfather was nominated. 1992: Spoke again at the convention, though by this time had decided that Raphael, not Leonardo, was his favorite Ninja Turtle. 2000 and 2004: Campaigned for Uncle W.

Present: Daddy Jeb sends an email to donors asking them to support Lil’ P’s bid for Texas land commissioner. George P. is also deputy finance chairman of the Texas Republican Party. The wheels, greased, are in full motion for him to ascend to national prominence. There are, however, one or two problems. First, he once broke into the home of an ex-girlfriend at four in the morning and threw what can kindly be called a hissy fit. Per The Smoking Gun website, which has the actual police report to back this up: On December 31, 1994, Bush showed up at 4 a.m. at the Miami home of a former girlfriend. He proceeded to break into the house via the woman’s bedroom window, and then began arguing with his ex’s father. Bush, then a Rice University student, soon fled the scene. But he returned 20 minutes later to drive his Ford Explorer across the home’s front lawn, leaving wide swaths of burned grass in his wake. Young Bush avoided arrest when the victims declined to press charges. Given the GOP’s current track record with women, this is not, to put it mildly going to go over well, no matter how much time passes. All of us have acted like impetuous little s**ts at some point in our lives, but very few of us have driven spite-donuts in an ex’s front yard. There’s a larger, repeating theme re-emerging here, though. See, George P. is half-Mexican, his mother a native of that country, and make no mistake: GOP strategists act like they’re playing the long game, but this is little more than the latest sad attempt to try and appeal to minority voters by simply throwing someone out there that looks like them, i.e. Allen West, Mia Love, Sarah Palin, etc. If anything — and this is comforting to those of us with functioning empathy — this only reiterates how delusional the party has become. And that is knowledge that will keep me warm until January.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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RCBOE Stuck with a Tough Decision on Super There is virtually no public discussion about it, but behind the scenes many key members of the Richmond County School Board have been pondering their future under the leadership of Superintendent Frank Roberson. While Roberson was cleared medically in September to return to full-time service following a 19-month recovery period from near fatal emergency brain surgery, there are concerns he may no longer have access to the energy, drive and stamina that made him the dynamic leader he had been for many years. Not to mince words, there are concerns he is simply no longer up to the job. People who know and work closely with Roberson say that while he does appear to be getting better as the weeks go by, it is clear that he is not where he needs to be as an effective leader of one of the largest school systems in the southeastern United States. His congenital condition, which was lurking undetected his entire life, was described by his doctors as an anarteriovenous malformation, which is an abnormal clustering of blood vessels on the brain. While it presented no known symptoms until the night he was rushed to the hospital, the resulting surgery and recovery apparently had a profound impact on his ability to communicate and use his cognitive skills. This news is quite sad for a number of reasons, primarily because of the incredible personality and positive synergy Roberson originally brought to the system. His two immediate predecessors had serious issues relating well to BOE employees, Dr. Dana Bedden because he was reportedly distant and aloof, and Dr. Charles Larke, who often operated like a small-time thug who was constantly on the make. Roberson seemed to not only have great ideas as an educator, but as a human being he was said to be nothing short of a saint. If this man’s talents and intellect are indeed lost to the system, it could very well mark one of the worse turns the BOE has ever had to deal with. There are serious discussions among trustees right now as to how they can move forward. Some of them were under the impression that when Roberson was “cleared” to return, that it meant he was back to full speed. Now they

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understand that the physician’s clearance only meant that, physically, he could return to a full-time schedule. To say that this is a sensitive issue would be the understatement of the year. The BOE does not want to come across as cruel or harsh, but the very real concern is that Roberson came to them with a certain skill set that has been rendered unavailable at this time and, very possibly, permanently unavailable. How ironic that so much time and press has been devoted to the question of who would be the next leader of the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department, while a position so much more seriously powerful, that of school superintendent, seems to have been almost taken for granted. I do not envy the trustees who need to get a handle on this situation, but it is a very real concern to the people in control of 75 percent of the taxing and spending in Augusta. I am also sorry to be just about the only media person who seems to have picked up on this issue but, given what is at stake, I would be negligent if I did not share what I know. In the meantime, keep Frank Roberson and his family in your prayers. He is a great man who did not deserve the hand that Mother Nature dealt him.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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ERICJOHNSON

Newborn U

AD may be the unlikely key to the successful delivery of the new school Clint Bryant

On January 8, after months of wrangling and more than a little controversy, Augusta State University and Georgia Health Sciences University will finally, officially, combine to form Georgia Regents University. Bringing two such distinct, storied and in some cases suspicious groups together is no small task, but Clint Bryant, ASU’s longtime athletic director and the new school’s first one, believes athletics can be the glue that holds it all together. “No matter if you’re a doctor, a kid at the children’s hospital, a maintenance worker, a public safety officer, a professor, a student or a staff member — once you step on the court or the field, the only thing that makes a difference is that you’re all Jaguars,” Bryant said, sitting at a side table in his office, which is just a handful of steps away from overlooking the basketball court at Christenberry Fieldhouse. “That’s something we can all rally around. It doesn’t have anything to do with the name change or saving the A — it just makes good sense that we can come together for some common good.” With cool jazz playing low in the background and framed mementos from his teams’ successful seasons hanging from the walls, Bryant spoke freely about everything from the region’s obsession with football to the unique ability college athletics has to engage students and unify a community. “Athletics will be able to provide that glue and the create that oneness where, in our student section, you’ve got some kid that’s a resident at the medical school or is going to be a dentist and some kid that’s an English major or a sociology major, and the one thing they’ve got in common is that they’re all pulling for the Jags.” 8

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Because of that visibility, he calls athletics the institution’s front porch. “Athletics is not the most important part of a university just as the front porch is not the most important part of a house,” he said. “But it’s what everybody sees because of the visibility of athletics. There’s not a day that you don’t see something in the news about Augusta State athletics.” That porch is about to get an extreme makeover courtesy of the merger with GHSU. For Bryant, the advantages were immediately clear. “For us, we knew it could be positive,” he said. “Augusta State University and now Georgia Regents University can become a destination university, and that’s powerful for us, because we can do some things that we haven’t been able to do because of better finances.” In Bryant’s world, the general student population determines a lot in terms of baseline funding. “Heads in beds, I call it,” he said. “I need bodies, because bodies pay athletic fees. When there’s a spike in enrollment, that’s good for us, because that means I have more money to do things.” The merger gives him a shot at 2,500 more students, which sweetens the pot. Not only that, but it gives him a much larger fan base. “With close to 10,000 students and 10,000 employees, Jaguar Nation is 20,000 strong just within the university itself,” he said. “That’s something to be excited about.” Not surprisingly, Bryant, who has been at ASU for 25

years, called the opportunity to craft the athletic program of a new university the chance of a lifetime, but it’s not his first. After putting in seven years with Clemson’s basketball program, he left the Tigers in 1984 for the opportunity to bring back college basketball to the University of Miami, where it had been on a 15-year hiatus. “That experience of building that program from scratch was a once in a lifetime experience,” he said. “I look at this in the same way. Very seldom do you get to create a new university.” In fact, the whole thing has been something of a perfect storm for Bryant, who will not only enjoy the additional student athletic fees and the sudden advantage of being a burgeoning academic powerhouse, something he said cannot be underestimated when it comes to recruiting, but the timing of it all coincides with another once in a lifetime event — the explosive growth of the Atlanta area. Experts say that by the year 2020, the 16 perimeter counties that make up the Metro Atlanta area will produce 100,000 high school graduates, which means that every institution in the nation will be in the general area competing for Atlanta’s best and brightest. Georgia Regents University will be a two and a half hour ride east down I-20, he said, and its closest public peer, the University of Alabama-Birmingham, will be a two and a half hour ride west. GRU’s private peer, Emory, is in Atlanta, and out of the four universities that are considered Tier I research universities in the state, the other three are, for all intents and purposes, in metro Atlanta. “We’re the only one that would be would be outside 29NOVEMBER2012

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of metro Atlanta, and therefore I think it offers us a wide potential for a lot of things for students and growth,” he said. “And we, in athletics, will piggyback off of that.” Because higher education is such a competitive field, offering a level of academics that will be on par with those offered at places like the University of Georgia or Georgia Tech certainly doesn’t hurt. “So I looked at it from the very beginning as a win-win, not only for athletics, but for Augusta State as a whole,” he said. He views his new role as that of an advisor to the new leadership team, helping them decide the best direction for athletics to go. Wherever it goes, he said it will be well thought out. “I don’t want to be shooting from the hip,” he said. “I want to be sure there’s a plan. I guess it’s the old coach in me, but you don’t ever go into a game without a game plan.” Consequently, the school has hired a consulting firm to put together a 10- or 15-year strategic plan that will look at several different areas, consider the school’s growth potential and come up with a list of what sports might be added. The plan should be completed by February or March, but already Bryant is looking at adding rowing, swimming/diving, equestrian, soccer and lacrosse, primarily because those are the kinds of sports desired by the students the new school will attract. In spite of the central role football plays in the perception of the college experience in the south, Bryant said it’s clear that the time is not right for football in Augusta. “People think that you have to have the college football experience to have a valuable college experience,” he said. “But I say it just depends. If you can afford to play at that level, do it. But what happens is, a lot of people can’t afford to play at that level.” And because football is so expensive to play — and nearly prohibitively expensive to start, considering the investment in infrastructure needed — those who can’t do it well are often doomed to languish. Which is one of the reasons he said it might be instructive to look at a school like Virginia Commonwealth University, a university similar to the one the Augusta’s two schools are preparing to become. “What they’ve basically said is — we’ll let Virginia and Virginia Tech play big-time football and William and Mary and James Madison and all the rest play small-time football, but we’re going to be a basketball power.” Given ASU’s traditional basketball strength — the men made the NCAA Division II Elite Eight three years in a row and played for the national title in 2008 — such a move makes sense, as difficult as it might be to abandon the idea of Saturday tailgating. “I won’t say that Georgia Regents University might not one day have football, but it’s so far down the line and so many things would have to come in line for that to work,” he said. “We live in the part of the country where it’s ACC or SEC — that’s what it is. And on Saturdays, people are going to run off to Athens or Clemson or Columbia or Tallahassee to watch big-time college football, and I just know it would be very difficult in Augusta to get it started. It’s so darned expensive, and if you can’t do it right, there’s no need to do it.” Given the ambitions President Dr. Ricardo Azziz has for the new institution — he’ll be attending the NCAA national convention and will participate in a special presidential summit — it’s very likely that an athletic director somewhere down the road might decide it’s time Georgia Regents University has a football team. “And it might be the right thing to do then,” Bryant 29NOVEMBER2012

said. “But I just know where we are now, and in the immediate future, it’s not the right thing to do. But we can still make an immediate positive impact by trying to be good at what we’re good at.” Another significant issue Bryant will have to address is whether or not to move all sports to Division I. Currently, ASU has a multi-classification, which means it can compete in both Division II and Division I sports. It competes in Division II in all sports with the exception of golf, where it competes against Division I schools. Back in the 1986, ASU competed in Division I and was a founding member of the Big South Conference, but it left after six years to join Division II’s Peach Belt Conference because of its natural regional rivalries and the fact that it was considerably less expensive to play in Division II. While Bryant said he was considering the move back to Division I, it’s not a move to take lightly, since the multi-classification allowance has been discontinued as of 2011. ASU was grandfathered in, but should GRU decide to move up, it will never be able to go back. And then there’s the cost. “I do know that you need a budget of between $8 million and $15 million to do it and do it right in Division I,” he said. “So we’d have to basically triple ourselves in revenue.” While there’s no discounting the perception among students and parents that being a Division I school provides a superior college experience, Bryant said it’s often just that — perception. He pointed to many Division II schools that have successful programs and excellent student involvement. Drury, who played ASU in one of their basketball runs, traveled with eight to 12 buses, he said, and the University of California-San Diego, whose women are in town this week competing in the Division II soccer championships, is a challenger for national titles in just about every sport it participates in. “If we stay just where we are, we’re okay,” he said.

“But what has happened in our part of the country is that Division I athletics has become a checklist, not just for athletes, but for students in general.” The move would have hidden costs, as well. He said a school has to put up $1.48 million to put in an application for Division I, and you have to be accepted into a Division I conference, too, which adds another cost. “Our basketball facility, our golf facility and where we play tennis is no problem, but right now, no Division I conference is going to take us, because we don’t have a baseball and softball facility adequate to be members of that conference,” he said. “And we need a soccer facility.” Again, he stressed the importance of doing it right. “It ain’t no fun doing it the other way,” he said. “When you can’t afford to do it, schools end up dropping sports.” And while shedding weight might make for a good New Year’s resolution, it’s not the direction the new administration wants its athletics department to go. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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STAR-CROSSED LOVERS By Timothy Polin / Edited by Will Shortz

79 Canonized Norwegian king 81 Something taken by a scout 82 Winslet who played half of 67Down 84 Golfer Ballesteros 85 Phrase of resignation 87 Toronto media inits. 90 Developers’ purchases 94 Nitpicks 96 Certain S.O.S. 98 Borefest 99 Lead-in to a juicy rumor 102 Ushers 104 Guess in Battleship 105 “Gone With the Wind” 108 Late comic Richard 109 Somewhat, in music 110 Stripped-down laptop 111 DiCaprio who played half of 67-Down 113 Ammunition giant 114 Like the strings on many tennis rackets 115 Specialty chef 116 Small songbirds 117 Vehicle to take over a jump 118 Expressed audible admonishment Down 1 Anonymous female in a court case 2 From Assisi, e.g. 3 “Doctor Zhivago” 4 It may be drawn in a fight 5 On end 6 Hanging tapestry 7 Vindictive one, in myth 8 See 69-Across 9 Pea body? 10 Pony 11 Cousin of the rumba 12 Over 13 McAvoy who played half of 24-Across 14 Double-bridged instruments 15 “Take ___ breath” 16 Knightley who played half of 24-Across 19 Ditch 20 Bad marks 21 Coffee Cakes maker 25 Sale bin items: Abbr. 26 Sessanta minuti

31 ___ Miguel Island 33 Bogart who played half of 64-Across 34 Department north of Paris 36 Bergman who played half of 64-Across 38 Lose touch with reality 40 Feared force 41 “1984” superstate 42 Smash 44 Colorful perennial 45 Besmirch 47 ___ Americana 48 Don 49 Umm al-Quwain, e.g. 50 Novelist who translated “Alice in Wonderland” into Russian 52 Clear tables 53 Wise guy 55 Tentacled “Spider-Man” meanie 61 Snow cap? 65 Tail off 66 Terre in the eau zone? 67 “Titanic” 69 ___ minute 74 Parts of some bonds 76 Hunky-dory 80 Leigh who played half of 105-Across 83 ___-80 (early home computer) 86 Is a good friend, in a way 87 Gable who played half of 105-Across 88 Financial shellacking 89 Lobster trap 91 Clique 92 Changed in popularity 93 Snowbird, typically 95 Calder Cup org. 96 Ate 97 “Symphony in Black” and others 99 Subject of a 1982 best seller on sexuality 100 Cause for a health panic 101 Assumed, say 102 Cafeteria worker’s headgear 103 Summer ermine 106 Texter’s “ciao” 107 Talented 112 Lowercase letters resembling v’s

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E T H E L

I T A L

N A T O

W H A T S U P C O D

C U S T O M E D A M

A M E R

R A R E

T R I T E

M I S O S

V A M P I R E T A B

P R M A N

S T O R E

R E L O

O N L Y

98 103

104

107

108 111

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N A C R E

83 90

110

T O O R A

102

O R B I T

56 61

82 87

106

J U N K R E W A R D

101

A P I A

105

M O A T

109

45 52

51 58

16 19

PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Christie who played half of 3-Down 6 Epiphanies 10 Key of Mozart’s “Jupiter” Symphony: Abbr. 14 John O’Hara’s “Appointment in ___” 16 Doughnut ingredient, commercially 17 Indian melody 18 Promotes recessive traits, say 20 Picked some fruit 22 Religious scholar 23 Prefix with byte 24 “Atonement” 27 Dame Joan Sutherland delivery 28 Holy ones are hard to handle 29 Some clerics 30 Equine shades 32 Section of the Medicare law covering hospital and nursing care 33 Kind of bar 35 Honshu city devastated by the 2011 tsunami 37 Signature followers, for short 38 Lighthouse, e.g. 39 Freudian mediators 43 O’er there 45 Drum kit components 46 Elocution 48 A large one offers many courses 51 Ties up a phone line, maybe 54 Psyched (up) 56 Floundering 57 Sharif who played half of 3-Down 58 Baba au ___ 59 Team booster 60 Mac platform 62 Needlework, for short? 63 Moniker for Israel’s Netanyahu 64 “Casablanca” 67 Air all of one’s grievances, say 68 Dude 69 With 8-Down, deposer of Milton Obote 70 Safety squeeze result, for short 71 Future race of fiction 72 Moppet of black-and-white TV 73 Made of a sturdy wood 75 Sub for 77 “Not broccoli again!” 78 Shoot up

H A S T S O R L O T T R A D E A C A B E T R Y G L L O H I E S T O V R S I N E S S L O T A N D R O F L U E S J O B S O S T S E R S H A R D S O F A A C R E N S E N T A I N Y A O S T A N D M E L I E I D I P S

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O N E P A G E

G O W N S D A D

S A T U R D A Y N I G H T E V I L

S T L T O O Y T A R N O N Y A N G R O H A A N G S G A T R I D O

G I A N T P E T S S V E L T E S I N N

T S K I T E R S A A T T T A S T S H V E E G N C O U O T E M O A Y S O U R C R I O M B N O G O O R

S P I R O T A R O T P A S S E R B Y

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10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

29NOVEMBER2012

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ERICJOHNSON

Fixing Funding

Commissioners debate stormwater options Abie Ladsen

While the Augusta Commission inched closer to the implementation of a stormwater utility fee, which would help repair Augusta’s aging stormwater infrastructure by assessing a relatively small fee on property owners, commissioners differed on the appropriateness of using SPLOST dollars to fund the maintenance. Outgoing District 7 commissioner Jerry Brigham made it clear he would like to see General Council Andrew MacKenzie draft a resolution asking the legislature to allow the county to include maintenance in SPLOST projects, something that’s currently not allowed because of fears those funds would not always be renewed. Brigham, however, said he thought it was time to change the rules. “Given the state of the economy, I think it’s an ongoing problem that we need to do where maintenance is concerned,” he said. “I think it’s a funding source that the voters are already comfortable with, and I think that it would be appropriate for this commission to draft that type of resolution and also ask the various state organizations that we’re involved in to be supportive of that.” The organizations he was speaking of are the Association County Commissioners of Georgia (ACCG) and the Georgia Municipal Association, both of which represent the issues of local government. “We all know the funding is short at the commission level,” Brigham said. “Maintenance is our biggest need, especially in the area of drainage. I think we need to have that tool as a part of our SPLOST program to be able to do some maintenance to work on this infrastructure problem.” Committee Chair Alvin Mason disagreed. “It would give the appearance of kicking that bucket down the road for somebody else to take care of,” he said, meaning the local legislative delegation that would take the request to Atlanta. “My confidence level in getting something done is not as high as it could be when I know that we could take care of it right here.” Mason spoke of the need of an enduring funding stream like the stormwater utility fee, which Engineering Director Abie 29NOVEMBER2012

Ladsen characterized as affecting all property owners. “We have to have an enduring funding stream, meaning one that does not close the loop, which SPLOST does,” Mason said. “[It closes the loop] either in terms of time, meaning years, or in terms of dollars, whereas if we’re talking about a stormwater fee, not only is it one of the most fair ways of getting business done, it offers you the ability to look not only at today and tomorrow, but futuristically over decades.” Brigham replied that not only would the general public have a hard time understanding a stormwater utility fee, but SPLOST would give the general voter a chance to have his voice heard. “Last time I checked, you and I both serve constituents, and I think that their opinion is more important than my opinion or your opinion,” Brigham said. “Anytime that they have an opportunity to vote on an issue, they have an opportunity to express that opinion. Therefore, if they want it, we will do it, and if they don’t want it, we won’t do it.” Mason said that the TEE Center, which ended up being a drastically different project than the one voters approved, was evidence that the commission could, with six votes, make changes regardless of what the people said they wanted. Brigham, however, continued to advocate for the resolution. “Whether or not we implement a stormwater utility fee, I still think we ought to ask for a resolution to be sent to the legislature to allow maintenance projects to be part of SPLOST projects,” he said. Alluding to an upcoming battle between infrastructure needs and Augusta’s arts community, both of which compete for SPLOST dollars, Commissioner Joe Jackson made his position abundantly clear. “We need to get away from the touchy feely projects and give us better drainage and roads,” he said. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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ERICJOHNSON

Under Observation

Private probation finding itself in the spotlight There’s no denying that things are heating up for Georgia’s private probation companies. Not only are local lawyers suing Sentinel Offender Services with individual suits challenging the constitutionality of private probation, but they also have a class action suit alleging Sentinel does not have the required contract to operate within Columbia County.

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Without a valid contract, Sentinel would have no legal basis for collecting fees, and lacking that legal basis could prove costly. Then, earlier in November, the law office of the Southern Center for Human Rights, a nonprofit public interest law firm dedicated to enforcing the rights of people involved in the criminal justice systems of Georgia and Alabama, submitted a report to the Georgia Criminal Justice Reform Council outlining several complaints regarding the privatization of Georgia’s criminal justice system. According to the Pew Center on the States, Georgia currently has the highest rate of individuals under correctional control in the nation. While the national average is one in 31, Georgia’s rate, which includes people on probation or parole as well as those in prison or in jail, is one in 13. One in 13 Georgians are either on probation, on parole, in prison or in jail. Georgia also leads the nation with the highest number of adults on probation, 53 percent of whom are on misdemeanor probation. Many of these 244,000 people are being administered by one of the 35 private probation companies authorized to work in the state. According to the report, Sentinel alone has 79 contracts with Georgia courts, and with the reclassification of some low-level crimes as misdemeanors, the pool of those involved with private probation stands to grow. “The lack of transparency and consistency across courts contributes to the fact that, in large part, this industry makes money off the backs of poor people — those that are not financially able to pay their fines in full on the day they appear in court — and avoids accountability,” the report reads. The report also points to a lack of consistency regarding how a person’s ability to pay is determined before the person is entered into the private probation system. “These responsibilities do not clearly reside with either the courts or the probation companies, and in many instances are taken up by neither,” the report says. “People placed on probation, meanwhile, are informed of the monthly sum they are ordered to pay, but seldom have awareness of their rights regarding inability to pay and the threat of jail.” Dale Allen, chief probation officer for Athens-Clarke County, told the Metro Spirit in the November 15 feature story, “Augusta’s Probation Problem,” that his county-run department, which replaced private probation following concerns about the lack of accountability, will find a way to work with those on probation, either by converting fines to community service or waiving supervision fees if a person is truly indigent. “That’s where I think you’ve got a huge difference between private and government,” he said. “Private can’t do that because that’s their profit.” Georgia code declares the records of private probation’s relationship with the probationers confidential and further precludes the annual report sent back to the legislature from containing information identifying individual private companies or their contracts. The report stops short of demanding an end to private probation, but makes a series of recommendations, including providing a 30-day window for non-indigent offenders to pay fees and fines owed the court. “It is wasteful to force people into probation for a reason as arbitrary as not having hundreds of dollars with them on the day they appear in court,” the report states. “Though some courts may choose to give defendants a short window of time to gather funds, there is little consistency in this practice throughout the state.” Another major recommendation is making sure that at least 50 percent of each probation payment goes toward the original fine, something the current lack of oversight can’t always determine.

375 Fury’s Ferry Rd. next to Earth Fare · 706.855.5111 12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

29NOVEMBER2012

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ERICJOHNSON

Headhunters On the Way

Committee approves consultant to track down unpaid business licenses The Augusta Commission is finally getting close to moving ahead with assigning a contractor to go after delinquent business tax revenue. The idea of a so-called headhunter, first broached by Commissioner Jerry Brigham at a commission retreat about a year ago, has been tinkered with and adjusted over the last several months into a contract both the city and the contractor appear to be happy with. According to Planning and Development Director George Patty, the two sides had a difficult time deciding on the scope of the project. Basically, the question was whether to go for all delinquent taxes owed the city, including excise taxes, which includes things like the hotel/motel tax and the transportation and tourism fee, or limit the search to the occupational tax. “We looked at the various excise taxes that we collect, which is a substantial amount of money,” Patty said. “But a lot of that money would not affect the general fund, and it was much more complicated than getting this consultant to just look at the business license revenue.” Patty says that compared to the excise tax, the occupational tax, commonly called a business license fee, is relatively simple to track down, and after discussing things with the consultant, he and his staff have come to believe there might be a lot of it out there. “We believe that, because of the way the economy has evolved, big companies have a lot of independent contractors because nobody wants to have employees because of the workers comp and healthcare and those sorts of business expenses,” he says. “We believe that a lot of these big companies — retail, industrial and institutional — that have a lot of independent contractors under their belts have contractors that aren’t properly licensed.” The reality, he says, is that a lot of these independent contractors haven’t gotten the licenses they need, and those can be relatively expensive licenses. “I think there’s fertile ground out there for this consultant,” Patty says. The consultant is Public Resource Management Alliance Corporation (PReMA Corp.). PReMA serves governments in Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia and Colorado. As envisioned by Brigham, the contract doesn’t cost the city a dime. The contractor will work on a contingency basis and collect half of what he finds. “We think that with the 50 percent of whatever they find plus the experience that our agents are going to get in dealing with these people, it’s going to be a plus for the city,” Patty says. “We’re looking forward to it.” The consultant, who will be able to go back and collect over three years, will actually discover and collect, Patty says. They’ll find those accounts that are payable and they’ll collect the money and put it into a kind of lockbox, where it’s later split by the city and the consultant. “Initially, the contractor wanted to make three attempts to collect and then hand it over to the city and the city would be responsible for collecting, and we’d pay the consultant whether we collected or not,” Patty says. “We, of course, were not willing to do that, so the way it’s written now — they make their three attempts to collect and then they’ll turn it over to the city and the city will make a decision at its own discretion whether to go farther with it or not.” They’ll certainly go after the big accounts, he says, but something small, like an $88 license to write music for a church, they most likely wouldn’t take to court. As for how much money might be out there for the finding, Patty says he has no idea, but in talking with other communities, he says he doesn’t think Augusta is alone with the problem of uncollected occupational tax. “What I found was that they’re all pretty much doing what we’re doing or a lot less,” he says. “Some of the cities don’t even have employees that attempt to collect — it’s sort of on an honor system. The consultant’s ability to discover and collect runs for one year, with an additional three months to collect anything uncovered because of their activities.

14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

29NOVEMBER2012

V23|NO47 Call us today at 706.667.9009

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Please Save Me No, I don’t like Cyber Monday

This week we find our hero crouching quietly underneath his desk. Usually the sounds of the pre-bedtime household originate from clanking dishes set to the monotone of Shepard Smith. Or possibly a ruckus from the kids as they pretend to do their homework while watching Phineas & Ferb. But no, tonight is different. Tonight brings only misery and damnation. For tonight, the evil hounds of hell rise up and consume the last bit of life and passion that remains in a man’s soul. Your hero closes his eyes. Quietly, he lets out his last breath as the call reaches his ears… “Honey, it’s Cyber Monday… there’s some great sales! Come downstairs and pick out some pants.” OMG — clothes shopping over the Internet. If there is a more painful and emotionally draining online consumer activity, I do not know what it is. Maybe it’s different for gals. Pinterest is loaded with outfit clippings — cute to elegant, casual to couture. It doesn’t take long to realize that women’s clothing is more art than practicality. Clothing connoisseurs (such as my nine-year-old) look past the material to see beauty, creativity and inspiration. The outfit accentuates one’s inner passion and shouts to the world, “I am here. I cannot be ignored.” But shopping for guys? Come on… it’s pants, for crying out loud! But, alas, our hero does need pants. With every ounce of courage he can muster, he pulls himself from his sanctuary and calls to his impending doom. “Be right down, sweetie!” Kiddie Time — Other than the shopping, holidays are a great time to spend with family. The past Thanksgiving weekend, I was able to sit down with my girls and let them show me their favorite Internet sites. (Note: my girls are third graders, and all these sites are very family friendly. My wife and I keep a very close watch on what sites they visit, and I strongly recommend anyone with kids do the same.) Animal Jam (http://animaljam.com) — This site is created by National Geographic to help kids learn about animals and nature. Kids become an animal and explore different regions of the world. They can build dens and customize the look of their animal. The basic site is free, but you get members-only animals and dens with a membership. A social aspect is also added with membership, specifically a controlled-chat capability that allows parents to control their social group and the vocabulary of their chat. (For example, you can only chat using pre-defined phrases such as “Hello” and “Thank you.”) American Girl (http://americangirl.com) — Our American Girl dolls are one of my daughters most prized toys, and it’s not difficult to understand why. The American Girl experience provides a positive role model, and that experience carried through to their website. Your kids can play games, download activities and learn more about their favorite Girl of the Year. The basic site is free, but a special InnerStar University is available for girls that purchase a Just Like Me doll. IXL (http://ixl.com) — IXL is an engaging site focused on helping kids learn math. The site provides practice math problems for elementary and middleschool aged kids. The math problems are grouped by specific math skills such as multiplication tables, patterns and number sequences. The site tracks the amount of time spent practicing and provides the kids medals for mastering skills. The family membership for the site is $9.95 a month, although check with you school system for classroom or school memberships. Sheppard Software (http://sheppardsoftware.com) — Sheppard Software is another educational site with a wide assortment of games and activities. While math is included, activities also include geography, science and numerous puzzles. The site is paid for with advertising, so it’s free to the user. You can purchase an ad free version for $36 a year. Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker.

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GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

29NOVEMBER2012

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Fit to Be Gold Challenge Update Name: Charlene Crawford Starting weight: 257.2 Weight at last weigh in: 245.4 Number of pounds lost: 11.8 Charlene Crawford is an Augusta State University student by day who had tried in the past to lose weight on her own. “Well, I had lost a lot of weight by myself but I was getting to the point where everything was standing still for me,” she explained. “And I figured that joining this would give me an extra boost, the extra motivation to lose some more weight. I was trying to do something different.” Enter the Fit to Be Gold Challenge that Charlene joined in September. Since then, she has lost more than 10 pounds and made a lot of changes to her diet and exercise habits. Here’s what she’s done. What’s your exercise plan? “Well, I do a lot of cardio. I try to do it at least three to four days a week, with classes like Belly Groove and Body Attack,” she said, adding that she also tried Gold’s Gym’s Bootcamp class. “I did that one time as well. That was pretty rough. I was sore for the next two days after that. And then, if I have a chance, I might catch a Zumba class and I’m trying to get into jump roping too. With the trainer I have I do strength training, lower body and upper body. I’m not going to even lie to you, it’s a lot of burning. Sometimes I want

16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

to give up, but I can’t give up. I’ve learned how to breathe better. Once I learned how to breathe when I exercise, It was a lot better.” What’s your diet plan? “Right now, we are focusing on calories. I have so many calories I can eat a day, I think right now its 1522, and I had to cut out a lot of dairy. I had to work around that; find other things with calcium. I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables; things that are balanced. I don’t eat a lot of calories at one sitting like I used to. The whole plan it to keep the metabolism going. Before I was all over the place, now I’m a lot more stable because I’ve had more information. This morning, for instance, I had two pieces of whole grain toast with sugar-free jelly and two eggs. Before I used to do pancakes and bacon. My trainer tried to tell me I could have one piece of bacon and I tried that and I didn’t like it. Since I’ve been on this program, my system has been detoxed of all that stuff. I can’t eat all that like I used to. But my biggest challenge is oatmeal. My trainer wants me to eat it but I hate it, to be honest.

week. As soon as my little girl goes to sleep, I go to the gym and that’s better for me.” What’s been your biggest success? “I think the way that I’ve eaten is my biggest success because I can use that for life. Once I started the program, the weight came off quicker than before. Also the way I exercise, I’ve toned up. I have lost like 11 inches off my waist.” Who do you think is the contestant to beat? “Well, honestly, I think that’s where a lot of people hit a roadblock, trying to look at other people and listen to what other people are doing, because what works for someone else doesn’t really work for me. No, I’m only worried about myself. I think as long as I have lost some weight, that makes me a winner. I had to learn that losing weight is hard and I would never tell anyone that it’s easy. You have to have so much motivation, resist a lot of temptation. It’s worth it when you get on that scale and you fit in your clothes. That’s where the hard work pays off.”

What’s been your biggest struggle? “I think the hardest thing about the program for me personally is getting to the gym. Since I’ve been in the program it’s forced me to go to the gym more. It’s easy to come up with excuses, to say I have other things to do, I just got off work, I’m tired. The good thing about it is that Gold’s Gym is open 24 hours through the

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AMYCHRISTIAN

Holiday Spirits

Local beverage store wants to help you learn how to throw a great party… by throwing a great party

Faulkner Warlick & Chef Edward Mendoza

Throwing a great party is something that Faulkner Warlick takes very seriously. And just how great a party he can throw will be on display this Sunday, December 2, at the Legends Club, where he and Kitchen 1454 Chef Edward Mendoza will host the Holiday Wine & Spirits Extravaganza. Warlick (above right) and Mendoza (left) met when a mutual friend got them together after Warlick took over ownership of the White Horse Wine & Spirits three years ago. The friend thought the store owner and the chef would work well together and that’s definitely proven to be the case. “Since our initial meeting, we’ve managed to slay out 6-10 wine dinners and special events where we worked together,” Warlick explained. “He’ll write the menu and Melissa [Christensen], my store manager, and I sit down with a football essentially and toss around ideas about wine pairings. They we do a sitdown to see make sure the foods and wines go together.” The upcoming extravaganza, he said, will be similar to those events but on a grander scale. “We’ve done a lot of small parties and private tastings,” Warlick said. “The difference between those and this is that this is much more of a public event that people can participant in.” Warlick said from that those attending the event will learn what he knows about party planning. The White Horse will provide the drinks — wines, liquors and liqueurs and beers — while Mendoza will provide hors d’oeuvres such as bacon lollipops, fried risotto balls and coffee-rubbed pork with polenta 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

squares. Glassmaker company Reidel will also be onhand for a stemware presentation. “They’re the best,” Warlick said of the company. “And they’ll be showing the decanters and glasses that they have.” Eleven tables will showcase 30 wines, 19 bottles of liquor and seven beers for the tasting, with four-six specialty cocktails also available to sample. Recipes for those cocktails will also be handed out. “At one table, for instance, you’ll taste the salted caramel whiskey and we’ll also have a salted caramel apple shot that we made with it,” Warlick explained. “There will be a recipe card on the table to take with you. You can take the whiskey neat or how we recommend you put it together.” Another drink is a White Horse twist on a popular mixed drink. “It’s called Dark and Stormy, which is ginger beer and rum,” he said. “We took a spin on that and called it the Stormy Holiday because we think it’s funny because sometimes, when you’re around family over the holidays, things can get kind of tense. It has ginger beer and dark rum, but it also includes an allspice liqueur that has kind of a cinnamon-clovey taste to it. It’s a holiday spinoff of the Dark and Stormy that’s kind of like a wassail.

“Basically, we were awarded the event over larger cities in Florida and California,” says Community and Leisure Services Director Barry Smith. “That’s a pretty large accomplishment for this region.” Four men’s and four women’s teams will arrive in town on Tuesday, November 27, spending the rest of the week practicing, playing and, in the off hours, exploring Columbia County and greater Augusta. The county also expects them to spend money, too. Hopefully, a lot of money. “There’s a lot of economic impact involved here,” Smith says. “With hotel night stays and sales tax and gas and family and friends eating in restaurants and the hotel tax, we’re excited about it.” Estimates made when the deal was signed back in June 2010 put the economic impact at $500,000. 29NOVEMBER2012

Planning this type of party is second nature to Warlick who, before taking over ownership of the White Horse, was a wine distributor, an importer and a broker. “And now I’m a retailer, so I’ve worn all the hats at the table,” he said. “I’m 42-year-old and I know what I’m doing.” Because he knows so much about the business, he’s the perfect resource for the reluctant party planner who may be dreading hosting duties at an upcoming holiday get-together. “It will highlight our strengths and our vision that make us a unique destination for information as well as products,” he said. “This is an opportunity to shar some of my knowledge with my customers and hopefully encourage some new people to come in and see what the White Horse is all about.” Holiday Wine & Spirits Extravaganza The Legends Club Sunday, December 2 3-6 p.m. $30, advance; $40, at the door 706-733-2262

While checking out the the Holiday Wine & Spirits Extravaganza at the Legends Club Sunday, December 2, don’t miss out on the many events going on the CSRA this week that will surely get you into the spirit of the season. From holiday-themed 10Ks to a nativity with live animals, these events are guaranteed to brighten your mood… unless you’re Scrooge, that is. “The Night Before Christmas,” a production of the Augusta West Dance Company, shows Thursday, November 29, and Friday, November 30, at 9:30 and 11:30 a.m. for schools, daycares and groups, and Saturday, December 1, at 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. for everyone. Showing at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre, performances are $12. Visit augustawestdance.com. Christmas Festival at Fort Gordon’s Woodworth Consolidated Library is Thursday, November 29, from 5-10 p.m. and includes carols, Christmas Tree lighting, cookies, hot cocoa, children’s crafts, hayrides and more. Call 706-791-6779 or visit fortgordon.com. Annual Christmas Tree Lighting at Augusta State University, sponsored by the university and the Summerville Neighborhood Association, is Thursday, November 29, on the History Walk, beginning at 6 p.m. with refreshments and caroling, followed by the lighting at 6:30 p.m. Santa Claus will also make an appearance. Call 706-737-1759 or visit aug.edu. Mannheim Steamroller Christmas is Thursday, November 29, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $55-$65. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com.

RING IN THE SEASON

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Tree Lighting Ceremony in downtown Aiken is Friday, November 30, from 6:30-7:30 p.m. and includes music, refreshments, a visit from Santa and Mrs. Claus, and more. Free. Call 803-642-7634 or visit downtownaiken.com. “The Nutcracker,” a production of the Columbia County Ballet, is Friday, November 30, at 7 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. $15-$29. Call 706722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. “Amahl and the Night Visitors,” a one-act Christmas opera presented by the ASU Opera Ensemble, is Friday, November 30, and Saturday, December 1, at 7 p.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre. Free. Call 706-667-4100 or visit aug.edu. “Miracle on 34th Street,” an Aiken Community Playhouse production, shows November 30 and December 1, 7, 8 at 8 p.m., as well as Sunday, December 2 and 8, at 3 p.m., at the URS Center for the Performing Arts. $20, adults; $17, seniors; $12, students; $7, children under 12. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1011.com. Jingle Jam 10K is Saturday, December 1, at 8 a.m. at Evans Town Center Park and benefit SafeHomes of Augusta. Packet Pick-Up and Expo is Friday, November 30, from noon-8 p.m. at Savannah Rapids Pavilion. $40 through November 29; $50 at Race Expo. Visit jinglejam10k.com. Brunch with Santa, a free event for children and parents that includes food, music, caroling, games, arts and crafts, and pictures with Santa (for a small fee) is Saturday, December 1, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Christmas for the Birds, a family event in which participants will create decorations for the birds to eat throughout the winter, is Saturday, December 1, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at North Augusta’s Living History Park. Cider and cookies will be served, and participants are asked to bring dog and cat food, which will be donated to local adoption centers. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us. Christmas Arts in Appling is Saturday, December 1, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and includes art parties for children and adults, face painting, tours of historic buildings, food vendors, exhibits, a Christmas concert at the Appling courtroom at 2 p.m. and more. For more information, visit columbiacco.org. Holiday Market, part of the Augusta Market on the River series, is Saturday, December 1, starting at noon at the Augusta Common and features arts and crafts vendors selling holiday themed items. Visit the augustamarket.com. Holiday Music Jamboree and Crafts in the Galleries, featuring Tara Scheyer, is Saturday, December 1, from 2-4 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free, members; regular museum admission, non-members. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Christmas Light-Up Spectacular and Christmas Parade is Saturday, December 1, from 3-9 p.m. at the Augusta Common. The event includes live entertainment, including carolers, children’s activities, the mayor lighting the city’s Christmas Tree and more. Visit augustaga.gov. Fourth Annual Lighted Boat Parade on the Savannah River is Saturday, December 1, at 6:30 p.m. at the Augusta Riverwalk. Visit augustaga.org. Christmas in America Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony is Saturday, December 1, at Evans Towne Center Park. Visit evanstownecenterpark.com. Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols is Sunday, December 2, at 4 p.m. at St. John’s United Methodist Church in Aiken. For ticket information, call 803-641-3306. Festival of Nine Lessons & Carols, hosted by Augusta Collegium Musicum and also featuring the Augusta Choral Society, is Tuesday, December 4, at 7:30 p.m. at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. $25. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Live Nativity, complete with camels, donkeys, goats and more, is Wednesday-Thursday, December 5-6, from 6:30-8 p.m. at Morningside Baptist Church. Hot cocoa and baked goods will be served. Free. Call 706-738-1518 or visit morningsidebaptistchurch.net.

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ENTERTAIN

Arts

Will all the boats in the Fourth Annual Light-Up Boat Parade on the Savannah River be this fancy? You won’t find out unless you show up (the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre is by far the best vantage point) on Saturday, December 1, at 6:30 p.m. Don’t worry, though; what with the Holiday Market starting at noon and the Christmas Light-Up Spectacular and Christmas Parade from 3-9 p.m., both at the Augusta Common, you’ll already be downtown anyway. Visit the augustamarket.com or augustaga.gov.

Arts and Issues in Northern European Culture, a lecture by ASU faculty member Rob Bledsoe, is Friday, November 30, at 1 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

The PEACE (Poetic Expression and Creative Enlightenment) Show, a community gathering of area artists organized by billy s and including art from Leonard Porkchop Zimmerman, Jay Jacobs, Jason Craig and many others, shows at Gaartdensity Gallery downtown through Friday, December 7. Visit facebook.com/gaartdensitygallery.

Silhouette Portraits with Clay Rice is Saturday, December 1, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art by advanced reservation only. Call 706828-3825 or visit themorris.org.

Jetsam, works by Jay Jacobs, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

Paintings by Art Gomez show at Casa Blanca Cafe through the end of the month. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Reflections on Water in American Painting shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. “The Five,” Ester Melton and T’is the Season exhibitions show at the Aiken Center for the Arts through December 28, and Barbara Yon will show her work in the Aiken Artist Guild Gallery in November. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Lillie Morris, Lucy Weigle and Judy Avrett Exhibition shows at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through December 28. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

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Annual Doll Exhibition shows through December 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Free with museum admission. Call 706-7243576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Annual Quilt Exhibition shows through December 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7243576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Portraits of Southern Artists by Jerry Siegel shows through December 2 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Tying the Knot, a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, now shows at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Music

Mannheim Steamroller Christmas is Thursday, November 29, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $55-$65. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix. com. USC-A Faculty Artist Recital, featuring pianist Anna Hamilton, is Thursday, November 29, at 7:30 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. Free. Call

803-641-3305 or visit usca.edu. “Amahl and the Night Visitors,” a one-act Christmas opera presented by the ASU Opera Ensemble, is Friday, November 30, and Saturday, December 1, at 7 p.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre. Free. Call 706-667-4100 or visit aug.edu. Christmas in the City, a Music at the Morris series event featuring pianist Tim Owings, is Sunday, December 2, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. A Tramp Abroad, Josef Patchen’s musical journey through Spain, German, Paris and America, is Sunday, December 2, at 2:30 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Augusta. Patchen’s holiday CD, “A Season for Dreaming,” will be for sale at the concert. Free, but donations accepted. Call 706-733-7339 or email info@josefpatchen.com. Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols is Sunday, December 2, at 4 p.m. at St. John’s United Methodist Church in Aiken. For ticket information, call 803-641-3306. The Sand Hills String Band performs Sunday, December 2, at 7:30 p.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre. Free. Call 706-731-7971 or visit aug.edu. USC-A Chamber Music Concert is Monday, December 3, at 7 p.m. at USCAiken’s Etherredge Center. Free. Visit usca.edu. The University of Georgia Accidentals perform two concerts as part of the Tuesday’s Music Live series on Tuesday, December 4 at St. Paul’s Church. Concert. The first is at 11 a.m. and the second is at noon. Both concerts are free; lunch at 12:30 p.m. in the River Room is $10 and AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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requires pre-registration. Call 706-722-3463 or visit tuesdaysmusiclive.com. Aiken Youth Orchestra Winter Concert is Tuesday, December 4, at 7 p.m. at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Festival of Nine Lessons & Carols, hosted by Augusta Collegium Musicum and also featuring the Augusta Choral Society, is Tuesday, December 4, at 7:30 p.m. at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. $25. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Willie Nelson in concert is Tuesday, December 4, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $37-$87. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Annie Moses performs Tuesday, December 4, at 7:30 p.m. at the Burke County High School as part of the Waynesboro-Burke Concert Series. $15, adults; $5, ages 17 and younger. Call 706-437-0070 or visit burkeconcert.org.

Literary

Looking at Art Philosophically: Aesthetic Concepts Fundamental to Being an Artist, a lecture by Tom Supensky, is Thursday, November 29, from 5:30-8 p.m. at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. National Writer’s Month Celebration is Saturday, December 1, from 10-11:30 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-7370012 or visit bn.com.

Dance

“The Night Before Christmas,” a production of the Augusta West Dance Company, shows Thursday, November 29, and Friday, November 30, at 9:30 and 11:30 a.m. for schools, daycares and groups, and Saturday, December 1, at 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. for everyone. Showing at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre, performances are $12. Visit augustawestdance.com. “The Nutcracker,” a production of the Columbia County Ballet, is Friday, November 30, at 7 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. $15-$29. Call 706-722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. Tango Night is every Thursday, 7-9:30 p.m., at Casa Blanca Cafe, 936 Broad Street. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com.

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Friday Dance, hosted by the Fraternal Order of Elks, 205 Elkdon Court in Martinez, is each Friday night in November from 8-11 p.m., with light snacks served from 7-8 and the dance, starting at 8 p.m., featuring DJ Joe Tutt playing shag, slow music and music to line dance to. $8. The third Friday is the Elks Dance, $35 per couple, which includes a full meal served from 7-8 p.m. and music by the Fun Time Band until 11 p.m. Call 706-860-3232. Christian Singles Dance, a smoke-, alcohol- and drug-free event for those ages 40 and over, is each Saturday night at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Dance lessons start at 7 p.m., and the dance begins at 8 p.m. No partners needed. $8, members; $10, guests. Visit christiandances.org. Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

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Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:30-9:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Theater

“Eli’s Bethlehem Inn,” a musical dinner theater

production of the Enopion Theatre Company, shows November 29-December 7 at the Kroc Center. $16. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com. “Harvey,” a production of the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, shows November 30 and December 1, with dinner at 7 p.m. and the show at 8 p.m. $30-$38. Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com. “Miracle on 34th Street,” an Aiken Community Playhouse production, shows November 30 and December 1, 7, 8 at 8 p.m., as well as Sunday, December 2 and 8, at 3 p.m., at the URS Center for the Performing Arts. $20, adults; $17, seniors; $12, students; $7, children under 12. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1011.com. Quickies, Le Chat Noir Theatre’s short play festival, is seeking original scripts by local authors. Writers must reside within the CSRA and scripts should be shorts of 5-15 pages and one-acts of 15-30 pages. Writers may submit up to three scripts. Submission deadline is December 31 for the festival, which will be held in April. Email scripts and a cover sheet with contact information to info@lcnaugusta.com.

Flix

“Beasts of the Southern Wild” shows Tuesday, December 4, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events

Christmas Festival at Fort Gordon’s Woodworth Consolidated Library is Thursday, November 29, from 5-10 p.m. and includes carols, Christmas Tree lighting, cookies, hot cocoa, children’s crafts, hayrides and more. Call 706-791-6779 or visit fortgordon.com. Annual Christmas Tree Lighting at Augusta State University, sponsored by the university and the Summerville Neighborhood Association, is Thursday, November 29, on the History Walk, beginning at 6 p.m. with refreshments and caroling, followed by the lighting at 6:30 p.m. Santa Claus will also make an appearance. Call 706-737-1759 or visit aug.edu. 42nd Annual Christmas Crafts Show is Friday, November 30, from 9 a.m.-6 p.m. and Saturday, December 1, from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Aiken’s Weeks Center and features vendors from all over the southeast. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Tree Lighting Ceremony in downtown Aiken is Friday, November 30, from 6:30-7:30 p.m. and includes music, refreshments, a visit from Santa and Mrs. Claus, and more. Free. Call 803-642-7634 or visit downtownaiken.com. California Jewels Tasting Seminar, led by Jack Larkin of Pacific Southern Wines, is Friday, November 30, at 7 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. $15, paid reservations; $20 at the door, if space is available. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Brunch with Santa, a free event for children and parents that includes food, music, caroling, games, arts and crafts, and pictures with Santa (for a small fee) is Saturday, December 1, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-7243576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Christmas Arts in Appling is Saturday, December 1, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and includes art parties for children and adults, face painting, tours of historic buildings, food vendors, exhibits, a Christmas concert at the Appling courtroom at 2 p.m. and more. For more information, visit columbiacco.org. Deck the Halls, a Gallery on the Row Christmas Open House that includes door prizes, refreshments, clay ornaments for children to decorate and more, is Saturday, December 1, from 10:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Call 706-724-7938 or visit galleryontherow.com. Carnival and Cookies with Santa is Saturday, December 1, from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at Hammond Hill Elementary 29NOVEMBER2012

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A Gift to Gold’s Gym Members and Friends Leading authority on health and fitness hosts free workouts, fitness tips to help public burn off holiday meals and parties.

Heavy Breathing, Healthy Heart Regular exercise is key in maintaining cardiovascular health

Consumers across the country will soon gather this year for traditional holiday meals and parties and, according to national nutrition experts, each meal can have as many as 3,000 calories. To allow Heart disease is often seen as one that afflicts consumers to indulge a little this holiday season without feeling guilty, Gold’s Gym of Augusta, older men. But just because you are either young or North Augusta and Aiken once again offer our members free guest privileges this December to a woman doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take care of help our members and their guests battle the holiday bulge. one of your most vital organs. During the month of December, each Friday, Saturday and Sunday, Gold Gym members of “Now it is the No. 1 killer in both men and women. Augusta, North Augusta and Aiken are invited to bring one guest each visit to Gold’s Gym free Women tend to get it a little bit older and the symptoms of charge in a larger effort to help people in the area trim those extra calories. Gold’s Gym are different, but more than 42 million women are living Augusta, North Augusta and Aiken trainers will also be on-hand to offer tips and advice on with some form of cardiovascular disease, and it’s more fatal how to steer clear of packing on additional pounds during the holiday season. than any other disease,” said cardiologist Paul Cundey III, “Our annual free guest privileges for our members during December campaign has a partner at University Cardiology Associates. “And plaque become something of an event itself with our members looking forward to this holiday starts building at a very young age and it’s a process that season trim-down,” said Allen Childs, marketing director for Gold’s Gym Augusta, North sometimes can last decades before you ever have the symptoms Augusta and Aiken. “Our message for the CSRA is simple: Enjoy your holiday meals and of a heart attack.” parties and, afterwards, focus on burning off those calories.” And while little can be done to change a person’s family Some food for thought — the average holiday feast contains 3,000 calories and 229 history, which is one of the risk factors doctors look at when grams of fat. Even before getting a workout in on free guest in December for our determining who might be predisposed to heart disease, there members, here are some tips to help burn the bird (in terms of calories, not in the oven) are many risk factors that patients do have control over. Blood and other holiday favorites while at the dinner table: pressure, cholesterol, weight, smoking… these all play an important part in heart health and they are all connected to one other * Choose your turkey slice wisely. The next time somebody asks “white meat” or deciding factor: exercise. “dark meat,” know how to make the wise choice. White meat has 24 grams of protein “It’s one of the major factors, being active, because it does affect per three-ounce serving and half as much fat as dark meat. Remove the skin from the so many of the other things,” Cundey explained. “Blood pressure, turkey to remove additional calories from your meal. cholesterol, weight… it is interrelated to almost all of the other risk factors except family history. And when a person is active and * Think outside of the bird. Did you know that you could cut your caloric intake by exercises regularly, they rarely smoke.” half by simply cooking stuffing outside of the turkey rather than inside? The average Keeping on top of these risk factors is therefore something one-cup serving of stuffing has 356 calories — the equivalent of a fast-food cheeseburger. everyone should do, beginning in their late teens and early 20s. And though Cundey has been a practicing cardiologist for nearly 20 years * Skimming off the top is a good thing. By simply putting your gravy through a and one of his focuses is on preventative cardiology, he says that a skimmer you can cut those gravy calories by 80 percent. 20-year-old doesn’t necessarily need to make an appointment with him. * Healthier alternatives can be just as tasty. Unless you are hopelessly devoted to “I think if you have a good relationship with your primary care those candied yams, try a delicious alternative such as baked sweet potatoes or yams. doctor and they’re talking to you about things like not smoking and They are just as sweet and even denser in nutrients. your family history, then no, you don’t need to see a cardiologist. If you have a very strong family history or are having any symptoms, * Keep your eye on the pie. It’s not necessary to eliminate the pie, just be wise about your primary care doctor will refer you to us,” he said. “But you your choice. Always choose the pumpkin pie over the pecan pie for lower calories. really should be taking care of your heart from a very young age — making sure that your cholesterol levels are checked, that * Forgo the whip and keep those slim hips. Use fat-free non-dairy whipped topping on you’re not smoking that you’re exercising and that your weight is your pie instead of whipped cream and save 52 calories per tablespoon. For someone checked. Doing those things will pay huge dividends.” that likes a nice healthy spoonful of whipped cream, you may be saving yourself up to 150 In fact, Dr. Cundey says make sure your heart is healthy for a calories or more. lifetime is really simple and boils down to two things. “Be aware of your risk factors and take them seriously,” he Members are welcome to show up at any participating Gold’s Gym of Augusta, North said. “Check those things and then exercise regularly.” Augusta or Aiken any Friday, Saturday or Sunday during the month of December with a guest free of charge. (Limit one guest per member, must be local resident with identification.) Established in Venice, California, in 1965, Gold’s Gym is the largest full-service gym chain in the world with more than 650 locations in 37 states and 28 countries. Gold’s Gym offers the latest equipment and services, including group exercise, personal training, cardiovascular equipment, group cycle and yoga. With nearly three million members worldwide, Gold’s Gym helps all kinds of people achieve their individual potential through fitness. For more information please call 706-396-4653 on Bobby Jones in Augusta, 706-481-0502 on Walton Way Extension in Augusta, 803-648-4653 in Aiken and 803-279-8900 in North Augusta.

To speak to Dr. Paul Cundey or any of the other physicians at University Cardiology Associates, call 706-724-8611.

GOLD’S GYM: NOVEMBER 2012 |p.3

5 WAYS TO

FIT IN fitness The holiday rush is upon us, so here are ways even the busiest person can sneak in workouts and still socialize in style. As the holidays approach, the days get shorter and so, it seems, does your free time. So how do you make sure to stay in shape with a tighter schedule? We found five different ways to fit in fitness throughout the day without cutting into your social agenda.1 WAKE UP AND WORK OUT If you know you have a packed afternoon or a party to attend, then skip hitting the snooze button and start your day with this mini-workout. It will get your heart racing before your first cup of coffee — and you don’t even need to put on shoes! SQUATS 3-5 sets of 10 Stand with your feet hip-width apart. Slowly lower your bottom like you would to sit down in a chair. Keep your back straight and chin up. Lower as far as you can while keeping your knees parallel with your ankles. Then slowly stand back up. Works: Lower body PUSH-UPS 3-5 sets of 10 Lie facedown with your hands slightly more than shoulder-width apart and your feet together. Keeping your body straight, push up with your arms to support yourself on your hands and toes. To modify for less effort, lower your knees to the floor. Works: Arms, back and chest

shoulders up and reach with your right elbow across your body toward your left knee. Lower back down. Repeat on opposite side. Works: Core 2 LEG IT AT LUNCH If you can take a true lunch hour, spend it on the stairwell in your office or walk a few laps around your work building. You can easily burn 200 calories and still have plenty of time to eat lunch. GABE: PLEASE BOX IN THIS INFORMATION 30 minutes of stair climbing = 300 calories burned 35 minutes of brisk walking = 200 calories burned 3 PUMP UP DURING PRIME TIME You don’t have to be on a treadmill to work out and watch TV — just clear out some space in front of the couch before you queue up the DVR. You can skip rope (a quality one can be bought for under $9 on amazon.com) or get in some jumping jacks. Invite over a few friends to sweat along.

Spend commercials doing planks: PLANK 3 sets at 30 seconds Lie facedown on a mat. Push off from your chest, resting on your forearms and toes. Keep your back flat, in a straight line from head to heels. SIDE PLANK 3 sets at 30 seconds Begin facedown with your elbows resting on the floor or a mat. Rotate to the right side then push up so you are resting on your right forearm and outer right foot, with your hips and back in alignment. Try not to let your hips sag. Repeat on left side.

30 minutes of skipping rope = 340 calories 30 minutes of jumping jacks = 270 calories 4 INCREASE YOUR INTENSITY Want to hit the gym but still make it to the cocktail party? Cut down on your gym time by increasing the intensity of your workout so you can burn more calories in less time. A few things to try: Increase the level of resistance on the elliptical trainer, stationary bike or stair stepper. Try interval training. Incorporate plyometrics into your strength training. Put the treadmill on an incline and step up your speed. 5 GET MORE OUT OF CHORES Volunteer to be the official leaf-raker or snowshoveler in your household — you’ll get lots of goodwill and a good workout. Plus, you burn more calories in cold weather than in warm. You can also sneak in some power walking on your next grocery trip by parking at the outer ring of the lot.

30 minutes of raking leaves = 175 calories 30 minutes i t off shoveling h li snow = 205 calories l i Disclaimer: The calories burned in each of these fitness moves was calculated for a 150-pound person exercising at a moderate to vigorous level.

BICYCLE SIT-UPS 3 sets of 20 Lie on your back. Place your hands behind your head. Lift your legs off the ground. Extend the right leg out while bringing your left knee toward your chest. Lift your head, neck and

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Q&A

The Gold’s Gym staff shares secrets for staying on fitness and nutrition track during the holidays. Eleven months out of the year, you’re golden when it comes to fitness and nutrition. You visit Gold’s Gym so much, everyone knows your name. You keep track of your calories using the dotFIT program. You’re well on your way to achieving your goals. Then December hits, and if past performance is any indication, all those good deeds will go right out the window… along with your ability to stay away from your mom’s famous sugar cookies. So how do you avoid the inevitable holiday backslide? We thought we’d ask some Gold’s Gym staff members for their advice. Here’s what they had to say, and what they’d get the fitness enthusiast on their holiday list.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS: FROM THE TRAINERS YOU KNOW

Brad Martin, general manager Gold’s Gym, North Augusta

Tony Dempsey and Meghan Bolander, co-owners Premier Fitness PT What advice would you give to someone who wants to stay on track with their exercise and nutrition goals during the holidays? Well, the main thing is the program we partnered with, dotFIT. It has built in accountability because you log in your exercise and food. You’re held accountable because they see it. During the holidays when you’re running around doing stuff and people keep putting food in front of you, it’s easy to not pay attention, but if you use the program and use it correctly, it’s easier to maintain and even achieve your goals during the holidays. The other biggest thing is just keeping active. If you can’t get in the gym, instead of taking an elevator at the mall, walk up the stairs. When you go to the mall, park at the back of the parking lot. Try not to be sedentary. It sounds simplistic, but if you really want it bad enough, you’ll make good decisions. I tell people, remember how you felt January 1 of last year. The activity level really is the key; doing things a little bit differently to increase your calorie burn. What do you think is the perfect gift for the fitness enthusiast? Obviously, my first answer is a Christmas package for personal training. We have a special where you get three sessions for $99. That’s built in accountability for the holidays and it’s something we offer during the holidays that can be given to anyone. What are you thankful for this holiday season? The biggest thing for me is my friends and families and the work relationships I have. At the end of the day, that’s the most important thing to me, the relationships I have with the people in my life.

What advice would you give to someone who wants to stay on track with their exercise and nutrition goals during the holidays? I would say definitely just pace yourself. If you just come three times a week and keep a consistent pace, you’ll be fine. Some people will wait until after the holidays when they’ve already gained 7-10 pounds. If you can just pace yourself, come three times a week, it will keep your metabolism up. The best thing to do is start now. Don’t go full force, but just keep moving: Walking on the treadmill, doing some abs. Just keep moving. If you’ve already started beforehand, it’s not going to hit you as bad. Just don’t wait until after the holidays. What do you think is the perfect gift for the fitness enthusiast? The Gold’s Gym dotFIT program. With a membership, a trainer will sit down and help set you up with a meal planning and weight management program that includes a health and fitness assessment and body composition analysis. The program will actually take into account your daily calorie expenditures and you can find out where your calorie count should be per day. Once you find that out, it makes your life a whole lot easier. I would recommend talking to a trainer about that, but we also have a dotFIT band that helps track your calories and exercise. It compares calories in to calories out. It’s a really detailed program to help you see what’s going on. What are you thankful for this holiday season? I’m thankful for family, friends and the Gold’s Gym family as well.

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Ben Daniel, general manager Gold’s Gym, Walton Way and Bobby Jones location What advice would you give to someone who wants to stay on track with their exercise and nutrition goals during the holidays? You definitely have to manage your time wisely. I know people are busy this time of year, but just 30 minutes a day of some light cardio will keep your metabolism up. At least three days a week is what to shoot for. It’s kind of a tough thing to overcome [the lack of time], but we are open 24 hours a day. I know a lot of parties happen on the weekends so, me personally, I try to put in an extra workout during the week. Also, take your workout clothes with you in the car. That way, if you’re busy, you know you can swing by. Because most of the time when you get home, you’re not going to go back out. As far as food goes, I don’t turn things down but I do watch the portion sizes. Watch your portions, don’t go back for seconds, keep it to one plate, or one serving per meal. A lot of people eat sweets at night, but if you stay away from that it will help. If you have sweets in the morning, you have all day to burn them off. At night you have to sleep on those and they turn into fat. And if you’re preparing for a larger meal later on in the day, maybe cut back on your calories earlier during the day. What do you think is the perfect gift for the fitness enthusiast? I would honestly say music is the best thing for people to work out to. It can increase a person’s mental focus and it helps the time pass faster. It motivates them, helps them pump out an extra 10 minutes of cardio, so any kind of music device, audio device, iPod, mp3 player, an iTunes gift card, a set of headphones, even a pair of tennis shoes. A bike would be an excellent gift as well, or the dotFIT armband. What are you thankful for this holiday season? I’m thankful to be in an industry I love. I look forward to coming to work every day and I love the staff and the members. Seeing people come in and working out and trying to change their lives is great. Working out can be fun and I like getting out there and showing people that it can be fun. Showing them that if they stick with it they’ll be happy with the results. And I’m also thankful for my family and for good health.

Mitch Hearne, generalal manager Gold’s Gym, Aiken What advice would uld you give to someone who wants to stay on track with their exercise and nutrition tion goals during the holidays? I would recommend trying to stay on their same routine as much as possible, sible, but I know that during the holidays people aree busy and that’s easier said than done. Just try to maintain during the month of December, whether that at be working out early if you normally work out later. r. but, again, that’s easier said ing to do is not keep putting it than done. The best thing off as the days go by. Maybe if you work out normally 3-5 days a week, cuttingg it back to 2 days a week. Whatever people’s timee allows them to do. The only tip that I can think of when it comes to diet is, if you know you’re going now there will be somewhere that you know ormal meal before temptations, eat your normal ady have that you go so that you already re you get there. feeling of fullness before nk is the perfect What do you think gift for the fitnesss enthusiast? ng the manager of Well, obviously, being ym membership. a gym, I would say a gym ness apparel, so I But I’m a big fan of fitness me type of apparel or, would recommend some depending on how big of gift you’re looking to hing like that that people buy, an iPod or something can use while they’re working out. ankful for this What are you thankful holiday season? ly and friends, I’m thankful for family rd to 2013 and I’m looking forward because I’m expecting my first child [a boy] in February. I can’t wait to nd sleepless see what adventures and nights 2013 will bring.

A-game BRING YOUR HOLIDAY

Gold’s Gym Fitness Institute experts Belisa Vranich and Robert Reames are here to help you tackle this season’s hardest hitters and keep your diet in bounds. All great players know that they need to mentally and physically prepare before they take the field and face the enemy. We want to help you have that same tough stance as you take on the holiday season with its party platters, time crunches and season-ending sweets. As Heisman Trophy winner and former NFL star Herschel Walker puts it, “If you train hard, you’ll not only be hard, you’ll be hard to beat.” To make sure you’re on the winning team this holiday season, we spoke to two members of the Gold’s Gym Fitness Institute to create a healthy game plan: Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist and author of “Get a Grip: Your Two-Week Mental Makeover,” and Robert Reames, the head fitness trainer for The Dr. Phil show and author of “Make Over Your Metabolism.” PREGAME Look at old game tapes. “Sit down and think about last year,” Vranich says. “Ask yourself: Was last year’s cookie worth the guilt afterward?”

per month

$10

Rest well. “Get at least eight to nine hours of restful sleep nightly,” Reames advises. “When you’re fatigued, your blood sugar drops and you crave sugar.” In a season when sweet treats abound, you’re basically putting minefields around your diet by being tired. Tailgate right. Both experts agree: Always eat before you hit a holiday party so you don’t arrive hungry and head straight toward the buffet. “Even if it’s a banana and a bottle of water in the car on the way over,” Vranich says, it’s worth it. Chewing on something will help you resist the urge to grab for food. If it’s a potluck, Reames suggests bringing a healthy dish that you like so you’re assured of a good choice. Put on your best game face. “Look for alternatives to the bad food that makes you feel bad about yourself before — not while — you are having an intense craving,” Vranich suggests. In addition, don’t let your mind fall into certain traps — like thinking, I’ll start eating right next year or I worked really hard today and deserve a splurge. “If you worked really hard, why feed your body something unhealthy?” Vranich asks. For example, instead of buffalo wings at the next game day party, make grilled chicken skewers. MAKE IT A REAL GAME “Have an office contest to see who can climb the most stairs at lunch or walk around the building the most times. The winner gets a gift card or free lunch,” Reames says. If your officemates aren’t into it, make it a family game. “Buy pedometers for everyone and see who can take the most steps.” The weekly winner can skip a chore like doing the dishes. GAME TIME (A.K.A. PARTY TIME) Be focused. The main key, both experts advise, is to avoid alcohol. Pace yourself by rehydrating — a club soda or two between drinks — or make a decision not to drink on weekdays. You don’t want to wake up hungover early in the morning and feel tired, so, well, see above. Also, alcohol lowers inhibitions, so although you wouldn’t attack that cheese plate while sober, when slightly tipsy you might scarf down a wheel of Brie. Shake off that mistake. So you did eat three cookies

and knock back a few too many? Let it go. “If you happen to overindulge one time, then let that be. Move on to the next day and regain your momentum,” Reames says. “Take it one day, one holiday party at a time.” Take a pass. “Say no to parties you really don’t want to go to,” Vranich says. “Put saving your sanity above your social life.” To that end, come up with a few believable and irrefutable excuses ahead of time. Tighten up. While stretch pants are great for yoga class and lazy Sundays, they aren’t smart for holiday get-togethers. “This can encourage overconsumption,” Reames points out. “If you don’t feel that waistline getting tight, you might not stop eating.” Stay in the zone. Don’t let parties, gift shopping or vacation travel cut into your fitness routine. See how to fit in workouts, no matter how little time you have. DON’T GET SIDELINED Keeping your head in the game isn’t always easy. “Psychologically speaking, we bat around the term ‘need’ too often. I need coffee, I need protein, I need a drink. The fact is, most of us could stop eating for a week and survive,” Vranich says. “I’ve worked with many overweight people who freak out when their stomach starts to grumble.” Remember to remain calm; you don’t need to immediately jump at one bellyache. POSTGAME Congratulate yourself. Think of all the hors d’oeuvres you skipped or that second slice of pumpkin pie that you turned down just like you planned, and smile. “When you do things differently, take a moment to pat yourself on the back for learning and not falling into the same trap,” Vranich says. Keep up the good work. “Vow to start your ‘new year, new you’ plan ahead of the eight ball,” she encourages. “Throw out bad food you aren’t going to eat and stock up on good stuff. If juicing is going to be a new thing, for instance, buy the veggie bags that keep things green. Then put the juicer in the middle of your counter so you get used to it.”

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GOLDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GYM: NOVEMBER 2012 |p.7

Premier Fitness Personal Training LLC. In Association with Goldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gym

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School in North Augusta and includes inflatables and other rides and games, crafts, vendors, food, pictures with Santa and more. Visit aiken.k12.sc.us.

Thursday, November 29, from 7-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Holiday Market, part of the Augusta Market on the River series, is Saturday, December 1, starting at noon at the Augusta Common and features arts and crafts vendors selling holiday themed items. Visit the augustamarket.com.

Saturday Express Lamaze Childbirth Preparation Class is Saturday, December 1, from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Holiday Music Jamboree and Crafts in the Galleries, featuring Tara Scheyer, is Saturday, December 1, from 2-4 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free, members; regular museum admission, non-members. Call 706724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Christmas Light-Up Spectacular and Christmas Parade is Saturday, December 1, from 3-9 p.m. at the Augusta Common. The event includes live entertainment, including carolers, children’s activities, the mayor lighting the city’s Christmas Tree and more. Visit augustaga.gov. Fourth Annual Lighted Boat Parade on the Savannah River is Saturday, December 1, at 6:30 p.m. at the Augusta Riverwalk. Visit augustaga.org. Christmas in America Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony is Saturday, December 1, at Evans Towne Center Park. Visit evanstownecenterpark.com. Photos with Santa are Sunday, December 2, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Old Government House on Telfair Street. Call 706-821-1812 or visit augustaga.gov. Live Nativity, complete with camels, donkeys, goats and more, is Wednesday-Thursday, December 5-6, from 6:30-8 p.m. at Morningside Baptist Church. Hot cocoa and baked goods will be served. Free. Call 706-7381518 or visit morningsidebaptistchurch.net. First Thursday at Midtown Market, featuring shopping, snacks, drinks, sales and more, is Thursday, December 6, from 5-8 p.m. at the shops on Kings Way. Call 706922-5000. Literary Structures Gingerbread Contest entries show at the Aiken County Historical Museum and the Aiken Center for the Arts Thursday, December 6, through Saturday, December 8. Call 803-642-2015 or visit aikencountyhistoricalmuseum.org. Festival of Trees viewing is through December 8 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History in advance of a Holiday Open House and Tree Auction on Saturday, December 8, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. in which the trees will be auctioned off. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Lights of the South, located off I-20’s Appling/Harlem exit near Grovetown, is daily from December 1-30 from 6-10 p.m. It features more than five million lights in a 100-acre forest, as well as food, sweets, beverages, hayrides, walking trails, a Christmas train, a Christmas Tree maze and more. Visit lightsofthesouth.com. The Augusta Ghost Trolley offers tours every Friday and Saturday at 7 and 9 p.m. departing from the Augusta Museum of History. The 90-minute tour includes the Old Medical College, the Haunted Pillar and St. Paul’s Cemetery. $22, adults; $12, children ages 5-12. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8145333 or visit augustaghosttrolley.com. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com.

Health

Infant CPR Class is Thursday, November 29, from 6-8 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Visit trinityofaugusta.com. Baby 101, a baby care and development class, is 29NOVEMBER2012

Family Focused Childbirth Tours are Monday, December 3, from 2-3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital Augusta. Visit trinityofaugusta.com. Lymphedema Education Class is Tuesday, December 4, at noon at University Hospital. Visit universityhealth.org. Total Joint Replacement Class is Tuesday, December 4, from 1-3 p.m. at University Hospital. Visit universityhealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery and You is Tuesday, December 4, from 6-7 p.m. at University’s Heart & Vascular Institute. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706774-8931 or visit universityhealth.org. The Daddy Class, a baby care class for expectant fathers, is Tuesday, December 4, from 7-9 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Cribs for Kids, a infant safe sleep environment class led by Safe Kids East Central, is Thursday, December 6, from 5:45-8 p.m. at GHSU Building 1010C. Families with a financial need will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and pacifier for $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth. org/safekids. Center for Women Tour is Thursday, December 6, from 7-8 p.m. at doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital. net. Introduction to Infant CPR Class is Thursday, December 6, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Classes, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or MartinezColumbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids. Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta. com. Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for nonmembers. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Support

A-Team Autism Spectrum Disorder Support and Resource Group meets Tuesday, December 4, from 6-7 p.m. at GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center. Email ddrakele@georgiahealth.edu. CSRA Huntington’s Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, December 4, from 6:30-8 p.m. at MCG Movement Disorders Clinic. Call 706-721-2798 or 706-231-2775.

Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. For more information, call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. For more information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org.

Spine Education and Support Group meets Wednesday, December 5, from 1-2:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org.

Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org.

Amputee Support Group meets Thursday, December 6, from noon-1 p.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. It is followed at 1 p.m. by an amputee clinic. Call 706-823-8504 or visit wrh.org.

AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and For more information about meetings, call Gerry Nail at 706-855-8636. their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or

32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

visit doctors-hospital.net. Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Education

Self-Employment and Entrepreneurship, a JobSeeker workshop, is Thursday, November 29, from 6-8:30 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-6422023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Audubon in the Lowcountry, a presentation by Ron Roth, is Saturday, December 1, from 3-4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Intro to Typing Part I Computer Class is Tuesday, December 4, at the Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Free Lunch and Learn is Tuesday, December 4, from noon-1 p.m. at

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the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Emerging Leaders Networking Lunch is Tuesday, December 4, at noon at the IWS Event Center on Shartom Drive. $10. Call 706-751-9210.

Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Free Wardrobe Workshop is Wednesday, December 5, at either 11 a.m. or 7 p.m. at the IWS Event Center on Shartom Drive. Participants will discuss common wardrobe issues and will learn tips and tricks to appear more confident and pulled together. Preregistration required. Call 706-751-9210.

Benefit

Free Planned Giving Seminar, led by attorneys Bill Tucker and Buzz Rich, is Wednesday, December 5, at 4 p.m. in the conference room of the Pickens-Salley House on the USC-Aiken campus. Refreshments will be served. Pre-registration required. Call 803-641-3630 or email events@usca.edu. Let’s Talk: Self Esteem, a program led by Tara Tanksley Stallings for women and older teens, is Wednesday, December 5, at 6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Internet Basics Technology Class meets Wednesday, December 5 and 12, at 6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Intro to Typing Part II Computer Class is Thursday, December 6, at the Wallace Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-772-6275 or visit ecgrl. org. Computer Boot Camp Part I Class is Thursday, December 6, from 10 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Intro to Computer Class meets Thursdays, December 6 and 13, at 10:30 a.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

James Brown Family Foundation Toy Giveaway Registration is each Saturday through December 1, from 9-11 a.m. at the James Brown Arena. Parents must have valid state ID, as well as birth certifications and proof of Social Security Number for each child ages 1-12. Visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Seventh Annual Red Ribbon Ball is Saturday, December 1, from 7-11 p.m. in the River Room of St. Paul’s Church and includes appetizers, a cash bar, live music and raffles. $35; proceeds benefit St. Stephen’s Ministry, which provides housing and support services to homeless people with HIV/AIDS. Call 706-722-7092 or visit ststephensministry.org. 2012 Cares for Kids Radiothon, a fundraiser for GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center, the local Children’s Miracle Network Hospital, is Thursday-Friday, December 6-7, from 6 a.m.-7 p.m. and Saturday, December 8, from 8 a.m.-1 p.m. on radio stations 104.3 and 96.3. Call 706-922-5437 or visit caresforkidsradiothon.com. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item, which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio. com.

Sports-Outdoors

The Augusta RiverHawks vs. the Fayetteville FireAntz is Thursday, November 29, at 7:35 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $10-$21. Call 706-993-2645 or visit

Setting Up an Email Account Computer Class meets Thursday, December 6, at 1 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

augustariverhawks.com. The Augusta RiverHawks vs. the Huntsville Havoc is Friday, November 30, at 7:35 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $10-$21. Call 706-993-2645 or visit augustariverhawks.com. Jingle Jam 10K is Saturday, December 1, at 8 a.m. at Evans Town Center Park and benefit SafeHomes of Augusta. Packet Pick-Up and Expo is Friday, November 30, from noon-8 p.m. at Savannah Rapids Pavilion. $40 through November 29; $50 at Race Expo. Visit jinglejam10k.com. Run Through the Fall 5K is Saturday, December 1, at 8 a.m. at the USC-Aiken Pacer Path. Call 803-642-7559 or visit aikencountysc.gov. Swamp Saturday, a free 2.5-mile 1.5-hour guided hike through Phinizy Swamp Nature Park, is Saturday, December 1, at 9:30 a.m. Group preregistration required. Call 706-828-2109 or visit naturalsciencesacademy.org. Christmas for the Birds, a family event in which participants will create decorations for the birds to eat throughout the winter, is Saturday, December 1, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at North Augusta’s Living History Park. Cider and cookies will be served, and participants are asked to bring dog and cat food, which will be donated to local adoption centers. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us. Fall Fest at Graystone Ranch Wildlife Education Center and Nature Park is going on through November 30, on Fridays and from 10 a.m.-midnight and Sundays from noon-midnight. the event includes a hayride and fireworks over the lake, hiking, fishing, boat rides, exotic animal tours, petting zoos, a pumpkin patch, a hay maze, photos with the scarecrow, zip lines and more. $10. Visit graystoneranch.com.

Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. Free, members; $15, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch, 100 Wood Street in Augusta, adjacent to the Augusta GreenJackets’ stadium at Lake Olmstead. Experienced rugby players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome, and those interested should bring a pair of cleats (cross trainers will work) a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Zumba Sentao and Zumba classes meet every Monday and Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. at the Aiken County Recreation Center on Jefferson Davis Highway in Graniteville, S.C. $6 per class, with coupons available. Call 706-627-1767. Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or visit alsalley@ wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered Monday-Saturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week

PRESENTS

Move to Amend Spokesperson David Cobb will speak on Thursday, December 6, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Move to Amend Coalition calls for the reversal of the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision that allows corporations the same rights as individuals and defines the use of money to equal that of free speech. Call 706-364-7861. The Joy of Signing meets every Thursday from 10:3011:30 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by ASU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Mondays-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit aug.edu. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. ESL classes are offered every Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Pre-registration required. Call Charles Garrick at 803-279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday 29NOVEMBER2012

December 8 & 9, 2012 at the Imperial Theatre

Purchase your tickets online:

www.augustaplayers.org Or call for tickets:

706-826-4707 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 33

V23|NO47

from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-7228878. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com.

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Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Tis the Season shows Saturday, December 1, at 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. each Saturday in November at USC-Aikenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DuPont Planetarium. Weather permitting, the observatory housing the Bechtel telescope will be open for viewing after each show. $4.50, adults; $3.50, seniors; $2.50, students grades 4K-12; $1, USC-A faculty, staff and students. Call 803-641-3654 or visit rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium. Sunday Chess Club for Kids, sponsored by the CSRA Chess Club and including free lessons, meets Sunday, December 2, from 2-3:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Open House for 3-year-olds through kindergarteners is Tuesday, December 4, at 8:20 a.m. at Episcopal Day School. Visit edsaugusta.com. Teen and Tween Club Day, for ages 6-12, features Manga Club at 4 p.m., common interest groups, discussions, drawing and Digital Photography Club at 5 p.m., is Tuesday, December 4, at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Zumba with Sohailla is every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-4216168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com.

Open House for first through fifth graders is Wednesday, December 5, at 8:20 a.m. at Episcopal Day School. Visit edsaugusta.com.

Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Reindeer, Reindeer Fly Up High, a puppet special for kids, is Wednesday, December 5, at 10:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Workshop Drop-In Craft Extravaganza Drop In for kids is Wednesday, December 5, from 1-3 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. For more information, visit augustastriders.com. Hott Shott Disc Golf is each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf, 863 Broad Street, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/ hott-shott.

Kids-Teens

Lego Club meets Friday, November 30, at North Augustaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nancy Carson Library at 4 p.m. Call 803279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. After-Hours Scavenger Hunt, a YA@AL program for those ages 11-17, is Friday, November 30, from 5:307:30 p.m. in the YA room at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens. Family Movie Night is Friday, November 30, from 6:30-9 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call for title. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Full Moon Meander, for children ages 5 and up and their parents, is Friday, November 30, from 7:30-8:30 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. Free, members; $2 per child, non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Musical Theatre Workshops Open house is 34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Saturday, December 1, from 11 a.m.-7 p.m. at the studio on Martinez Boulevard. The event includes demonstrations at 2 and 6 p.m., registration for spring class, ticket purchases for the December 15 production of â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Little Mermaidâ&#x20AC;? and more. Call 706-231-1759 or visit onwiththeshow.biz.

A Night of Crafts, a drop-in kids program in which participants will create handmade Christmas cards, is Wednesday, December 5, from 6-7 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the Box: All Hands on Deck!, a childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s event that features story time and crafts, is Thursday, December 6, from 10-11 a.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free, members; $4, non-members. Preregistration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. YA Art Exhibit Open Reception for Teen Photographer Tyler Ashlin is Thursday, December 6, at 6 p.m. in the meeting and YA rooms at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit butterflyphotographycompany.com. Holiday Evening Event for kids, which includes a snack, take-home craft and more, is Thursday, December 6, at 6:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Fun-Time Fridays, for those ages 2-5, is each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. 29NOVEMBER2012

The

Augusta Opera

presents its annual

Holiday Concert: “Home for the Holidays” Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 4:00 p.m. Reid Memorial Presbyterian Church 2261 Walton Way—Augusta, Georgia with Melissa Larkin, soprano Diane Haslam, mezzo-soprano Jamison Walker, tenor Isaac Holmes, baritone The Augusta Opera Chorus, Lyra Vivace Chamber Orchestra Richard Earl Cook, conductor

Tickets: $45 adults $25 seniors, students and active-duty military Check or credit card Call 706/364-9114 or order online: www.theaugustaopera.com Group Discounts available—call for details

The Augusta Opera Association PO Box 240 Augusta, GA 30903 706.364.9114 theaugustaopera@gmail.com

V23|NO47

Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday-Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Senior Adult Christmas Party, for members ages 60 and older, is Monday, December 3, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the McBean Senior Center. Call 706-560-1814 or visit augustaga.gov.

Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens.

Dancin’ with the Young at Heart, an event geared toward those ages 50 and older although anyone is welcome, is each Friday at 7:30 p.m. at the Aiken DAV. In addition to dancing to Yesterday’s Sounds, there will also be prize drawings, snack and drinks. $6. Call 803-292-3680.

Fall Fest at Graystone Ranch Wildlife Education Center and Nature Park is going on through November 30, on Fridays and from 10 a.m.-midnight and Sundays from noon-midnight. the event includes a haunted hayride and fireworks over the lake through November 3, hiking, fishing, boat rides, exotic animal tours, petting zoos, a pumpkin patch, a hay maze, photos with the scarecrow, zip lines and more. $10. Visit graystoneranch.com. Kroc Tots Activity Hours, for those 5 and under, meets every Friday from 9-10 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Homeschool PE Time, for those elementary school aged, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; call for non-member prices. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.3:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc. gov.

Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl. org.

Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Hobbies

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Seniors 36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Silver Sneakers, a senior exercise class, meets each Wednesday and Friday from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Second Annual Recipe Swap is Tuesday, December 4, at 6 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Belly Dancing Classes are held Tuesdays at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Spiritual

Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Volunteers

United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803-641-0060 or email kathibault@uhs-pruitt.com. Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@ uh.org. MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held MondayThursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email mparks37@comcast.net or visit machacademy.com. 29NOVEMBER2012

V23|NO47

Need a palate cleanser from all the holiday events already taking place this early in the month? Then might we suggest checking out Hushpuppy (shown at left) in the critically loved “Beasts of the Southern Wild.” See this southern gothic inspired tale Tuesday, December 4, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@ msa-corp.com.

Elsewhere

Bamberg County Holiday Concert is Thursday, November 29, from 6-8 p.m. at the Dane Theater in Denmark, S.C. Call 803-245-4427 or visit bambergcountychamber.org. Wagener Hometown Holiday Celebration is Friday, November 30, and Saturday, December 1, and includes a Christmas Tree lighting Friday night and a parade on Saturday at 11 a.m. Call 803-564-3412 or visit wagenersc.com/hometown-holiday. Rivers Bridge Battlefield Guided Tour and Soldier’s Equipment Demonstration is Saturday, December 1, from 2-3:30 p.m. at the historic site in Ehrhardt, S.C. $5, adult; $3, students; free with Park Passport Plus. Call 803-267-3675 or email riversbridge@scprt.com. “A Christmas Story,” a production of the Barnwell Circle Theatre and USC-Salkehatchie, shows November 30, December 1, 7, 8, 14 and 15 at 8 p.m. and December 2 and 9 at 3 p.m. at the Circle Theatre. Call 803-2597046 or visit barnwellcircletheatre.com. Williston Christmas Parade is Sunday, December 2, at 4 p.m. beginning at Williston Town Hall. Call 803-2667015 or visit williston-sc.com. Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.

29NOVEMBER2012

DECLASSIFIED Rape Crisis & Sexual Assault Services

Seeking Volunteer Advocates Seeking volunteers for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson, and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Please contact 706.774.2746 or email volunteerrcsas@uh.org for more information.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

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AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 37

V23|NO47

Never Say Never

Don’t judge if you don’t have kids of your own I remember seeing kids walk around wearing mismatched clothes and with unbrushed hair thinking, “I will never let my kids walk around like that. How hard is it to brush their hair and match their socks?” What I’d tell the younger, pre-parenting me is this: it’s really hard. Much harder than you’d imagine. Maybe it’s not all that difficult, per se, but sometimes it’s easier to just not worry about it. So what if The Girl’s socks don’t match. The fact that she simply found two clean socks is a milestone in itself. I didn’t feel like hearing her whine as I brushed the tangles out of her hair, either. Her hair is tangled because instead of using conditioner, she emptied the entire can of shaving cream all over the shower. At least she was in the shower, which can be easily rinsed. I can’t say the same for nearly every wall in my house. She has colored on nearly every wall in my house. So her socks don’t match. Sue me. When I was little, we didn’t watch movies in the car. We listened to Michael Jackson cassettes and played Punch Buggy and the Alphabet Game. If we got sick of any of that, I suppose we could nap on that big pallet on the floor of the minivan. Before we had kids, we promised that we’d never let them watch movies in the car. We made the drive to see my family in the DC area when The Boy was about a year and a half old. He was a very good baby, but that trip was treacherous. What had taken pre-kids us about eight hours to drive took around 10 with a toddler. We swore we were never traveling again. We had to travel again, of course. I found a cheap portable DVD player and bought it “just in case.” The drive was pleasant. The Boy watched a couple of shows, but we didn’t keep the player on the whole time. I know, I know. We missed out on quality time with our kid. Blah blah blah. I’m not sure about you, but to me, quality time shouldn’t include whining, bickering and “he’s touching me! He’s on my side!” on repeat. A little screen time isn’t the end of the world. Our parents may have survived car trips without a DVD player, but it wasn’t by choice. They would’ve if they could’ve. They weren’t better parents because we didn’t watch movies in the car. We didn’t watch movies in the car because it wasn’t an option. I mean, those folks on the Oregon Trail may have managed with their covered wagons, but don’t you think they would’ve preferred a few minivans? I’ve learned never to say never when it comes to parenting. I’ve also learned that becoming a parent gives you the right to judge other parents. It’s like a little club. Judging before you have kids is like me trying to teach you to play Jai Alai. I have no idea how to play Jai Alai. I’m not even sure if it’s a sport or a game. Let’s face it. We all do things we said we’d never do. We all do things our mothers might not agree with. When my kid eats the ice cream scoop we just scraped off the sidewalk in a small beach town in Florida, feel free to judge away. I’m still not going back to buy him another cone. While we question one another, we also understand each other. That’s what really matters. When my kid’s shoes are untied and I don’t seem to care, all you parents out there know I care. I either haven’t noticed yet, or there’s something else that matters more (like, immediately). So my kids watch movies in the car, wear mismatched socks, only sometimes brush their hair and they don’t bathe every day. I say stuff my mom said, like “because I said so” and “if so and so jumped off a bridge, would you?” They occasionally eat fast food. I have given them candy before school. We sleep in while they get their

29NOVEMBER2012

own breakfast, which is usually whatever they can reach in the pantry. I don’t usually help them with their homework. If it’s finished, that’s good enough. We eat dinner in front of Wheel of Fortune from time to time. I don’t change their sheets every week. If you’re not yet a parent, you’re probably saying, “I will never let my life be so chaotic. I will bathe my kids every night, we will sing together on car trips — no television for us! — and I will only feed them organic grapes that I grow myself.” I said such things, too. Unfortunately, life gets in the way of such hopes and dreams. Maybe your life will be picture perfect. Mine isn’t, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I may raise an eyebrow when you swear you’ll never take your kids to church dressed like that. I promise when that tangly-haired filthy kid with a milk mustache and peanut butter all over her face says you’re the best mom ever, you’ll smile and your heart will swell with pride. You’ll probably lick your thumb to wipe the peanut butter away and, hey, I won’t judge.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 39

V23|NO47

SIGHTINGS

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Rob Douglas, Kim Newman, Trey Dove and Amy McElroy at Stillwater Tap Room.

Kevin O’Grady, Caitlin Shockley and Rick Nightingale at Stillwater Tap Room.

David and Meghan Eller with Merritt Grumman and Michael Hawkinberry at Stillwater Tap Room.

SIGHTINGS

Andre and Cori Alberti with Chuck Williams at Canapalooza 2012 at Hooters.

Big Troy, Katie Silarek and Mark Stone at Canapalooza 2012 at Hooters.

Heather Snipes, Charms Watson and Leah Abercrombie at Wild Wing Cafe.

SIGHTINGS

Devin Joy, Cole Wasben, Brittney Hurst and Austin Effler at the Country Club.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

DJ Spindrum, Sara Furno and Brier Hazell at Bar West Martini Lounge.

William Barry, Jennifer Bowen, Scott Terry and Kimmy Ray at Limelite Cafe.

Our military O ur ssecond econd aannual nnual bblack lack ttie ie bbenefit enefi fitt ssupporting upporting oour ur ccommunity ommunity ooff m ilitary hheroes eroes

Coming Soon

THE CAUSE: The Augusta Warrior Project

war·rior : One who has or is currently serving g in our Nation’s militaryy

Reserve your y table today! y

$10,000 raised in 2012! Live Music Dinner

Dancing Cocktails

Silent Auction Casino

Shamrocks S hamrocks for for soldiers.com soldiers.com 40 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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S P O N S O R

T H E

METRO SPIRIT’S amber@themetrospirit.com PET PAGE! Who Is Reading Our Pet Page? We would like to get your feedback; some thoughts about what interests you, what you want to know, what you want to share. Have there been articles or stories on our page that have really touched you? Was there a particular subject that you would like to see us cover again? Share your heartwarming stories about rescuing your favorite pet. If you have questions or concerns about pets and pet care, ask. It is probably something that will help others as well. If you have had great experiences (or really bad ones) with your animal clinic, or rescue, share your story. Good or bad, it will help others. If there are changes you would like to see in the local ordinances regarding animal care and welfare, tell us what they are. Perhaps there are more people who feel the same way you do and we can work on it together. If you are willing to sign up to be a foster for puppies or dogs, kittens or cats, give us your contact information. Unfortunately, there are always more animals than space available for them, so foster homes are always needed. The most important message we want to spread is the message of responsible pet ownership. And one of the first priorities is to spay/neuter all of your pets. If you are feeding an animal, technically he/she belongs to you. Take a little better care of them and get them fixed. There are terrific veterinarians and great low-cost clinics that will take good care of your pet’s needs. And there are nonprofit organizations that will help with the costs if you truly cannot afford them yourself. Implanting a microchip is an inexpensive way to ensure that if your pet is lost, he/she will get back to you. The overpopulation of companion animals, particularly cats and dogs, leads directly to neglect, abuse and death of adoptable animals. Take personal responsibility and teach it to your children. Allowing your family pets to run free unsupervised may seem like you are doing them a favor, but it puts them in tremendous danger. They get lost, Pet Food Drive starting now going through the frightened and run out in the street, end of the year, with many drop off points: Animal risking being injured or killed in traffic. House, Boots, Bridles and Britches, Pet Safari, If they are found and do not have a Grovetown Seed and Feed, Paw Perfect Grooming microchip, you may never see them Salon, Martinez Animal Hospital, National Hills again, and their life is in jeopardy, Animal Hospital, Vineyard Wine Market dependent on the kindness of Through December 30 strangers. They might get re-adopted but they might get taken to the pound Sponsored by the Pawprints Foundation and Long and euthanized because there are so Dog Rescue, those who wish to donate can also many in the same situation. call to schedule a pick up. Responsible pet ownership is a very 706-863-2067 important topic, and encompasses pawprintsfoundation.org many issues. There are many others. ¬ Tell us what you think are important Third Annual Dog Gone Cold 5k Run/Walk subjects for discussion. Your opinion does matter. This is your opportunity Julian Smith BBQ Pit to put your opinions about all things Saturday, January 19, 2013 relating to animals to good use. Sponsored by Hopeful Hounds, Inc. and The There is a quote that is really fitting American Black and Tan Coonhound Rescue, here: “He is your friend, your partner, organizers are currently looking for sponsors as your defender, your dog. You are his well as participants for this fun fundraiser. life, his love, his leader. He will be Pre-registration required. yours faithful and true, to the last beat 706-294-6200 of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” hopefulhounds.org We do want to hear from you. You can write to us at Pet Page, c/o Village Deli, 2803 Wrightsboro Road, Suite Ongoing Adoption Events 28, Augusta, Ga. 30909, or e-mail us at PETCO petpagepenpals@gmail.com. For more 4209 Washington Road, Evans information about the dogs pictured Saturdays, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Sundays, 1-4 here, contact us via e-mail or by calling p.m. 706-726-2559.

Upcoming Events

PetSmart 225 Robert C. Daniel Parkway, Augusta Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Augusta Animal Services 4164 Mack Lane, Augusta 706-790-6836. All cat and dog adoptions will be priced at $50 from November 26 through January 2, 2013.

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Two at a Time

VALERIEEMERICK

The Two Man Gentlemen Band returns to Augusta for the first time in four years

The Two Man Gentlemen Band make their gallant return to Augusta, taking a onenight break from their tour with The Carolina Chocolate Drops to play at Sky City next Thursday with Augusta’s own The Ramblin’ Fevers. “We haven’t been back to August in about four years, so we’re curious to see how it goes,” says Andy Bean, the Gents’ guitar player and one half of the duo. Bean, along with Fuller Condon on the upright bass, make up The Two Man Gentleman Band. Formerly based out of New York City, the band now operates out of dual home bases in Los Angeles and Charleston, S.C. Despite being on opposite coasts, the Gents still maintain a seemingly never ending tour schedule and could easily be described as the “hardest working two-man-band” in the industry. “We’re sort of perpetually at it — this tour sort of stretches out the last five years,” laughs Bean. “I don’t think we’ve taken more than a few weeks off at any time, but things are going real well for us. We’re still appreciative when we show up in a town and people show up for the show, which wasn’t always the case when we started. We actually went down to Augusta to Stillwater Tap Room on one of our first trips out of New York City ever — that was 2007 or so.” Being constantly on the road could get tiresome, but it’s not without its perks. “One of the highlights is we get to play with a lot of bands that we really enjoy, many of whom are friends of ours now,” says Bean. “The Augusta show is a little break from a tour we’re doing with The Carolina Chocolate Drops all over the Southeast so we’re just on our own for that one night in Augusta, but we enjoy getting to see really, really great acts just by being on the bill with them.” When they aren’t touring, the Gents spend time in the recording studio. To date, they have made seven full-length albums and one seven-inch vinyl single. “Earlier this year we put out our latest record, ‘Two at a Time,’” says Bean. ”The whole thing was recorded and packaged without any digital technology whatsoever — which was a project in and of itself. But we like how it turned out.” The Two Man Gentleman Band may only be composed of two men, but they produce a big sound. Their songs are witty, clever and a bit on the irreverent side. They sound like something you would hear in a prohibition-era speakeasy. “We play original tunes in kind of a ’20s/’30s hot jazz or Western swing style,” explains Bean, “so it’s new material, but it’s certainly inspired by older stuff. And we like that there’s just two of us, as the name implies, so we have a sort of unique approach in the sparseness of our sound — I think one of the things that makes us different from some of the other folks doing older fashioned music is that we make quite a ruckus with just two instruments so we break the limitations of our size.” The Two Man Gentlemen Band w/ The Ramblin’ Fevers Sky City | Thursday, December 6 Doors, 8 p.m.; music, 10 p.m. | $5 skycityaugusta.com 42 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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November 29 29Thursday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Open Mic Night with Wes Bell Auditorium - Mannheim Steamroller Christmas Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - 3rd Hand Smoke MAD Studios - Open Mic Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Playground - Right to Fall, Stillview Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Somewhere in Augusta - County Line The Willcox - Classic Jazz Wild Wing - She N She

What’s Tonight?

Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta - Country Line Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

November 30 30Friday, Live Music

100 Laurens - John Kolbeck Cotton Patch - Riley Williams and Shane Davis Country Club - Gary Ray & the Heartwells Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz Fox’s Lair - She N She French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Joe’s Underground - Mama Says MAD Studios - Celia Gary CD Release Party Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams Blues Express PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Polo Tavern - Reverse Effect Sky City - Holy Ghost Tent Revival, Dirty Realists Somewhere in Augusta - King Size Stillwater Tap Room - Vagabond Swing 29NOVEMBER2012

Wild Wing - JC Bridwell Band The Willcox - John Vaughn

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

December 1 01Saturday, Live Music

The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cotton Patch - The Moose Knuckles Country Club - Amanda Daughtry Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band The First Round - Lost in the Middle Fox’s Lair - David Heath and John Goudy Hoze’s Bar - Bad Habits Iron Horse Bar & Grill - John Berret’s LaRoxes, Skilyr Hicks Joe’s Underground - Chris Hardy & his 4-stringed little friend Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - Happy Bones P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Reverse Effect Sky City - First Born Hip Hop Reunion

What’s Tonight?

100 Laurens - Super Saturday Dance Party Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke with Beth Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

Amanda Daughtry fell in love with country music when she was seven years old and hasn’t stopped singing since. See the North Carolina native when she visits the Country Club Saturday, December 1. Doors open at 8 p.m. and music begins at 10 p.m. Call 706-364-1862 or visit augustacountry.com.

December 2 02Sunday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice (brunch) Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session w/ Preston & Weston

What’s Tonight?

Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

December 3 03Monday, Live Music

Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tournaments Wild Wing - Trivia

December 4 04Tuesday, Live Music

Bell Auditorium - Willie Nelson First Round - Samuel McDuffie, Chris Hardy & his 4-stringed little friend Fox’s Lair - Dr. John Fisher The Highlander - Open Mic Night Joe’s Underground - Happy Bones Malibu Jack’s - Keith Gregory The Willcox - Piano Jazz

What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy 44 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Suzy Bogguss - Imperial Theatre Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson December 14 Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia The Welfare Liners - Stillwater Tap Room December 14 Wednesday, December 5 The Whigs, New Madrid - Sky City Live Music December 14 Joe’s Underground - Kathleen Turner John Kolbeck - Cotton Patch December Overdrive 14 Malibu Jack’s - Live Music Tim Brantley, Joe Stevenson - MAD Wild Wing - The Fustics Studios December 14 Christmas with John Berry - Imperial What’s Tonight? Theatre December 20 Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls She & She - Fox’s Lair December 21 Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Will McCranie & Friends - MAD Studios Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes December 27 Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Sam Bush - Imperial Theatre January Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ 18 David Doane Camper Van Beethoven - Sky City The Loft - Karaoke January 23 Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles Jeff Mangum, Tall Firs - Sacred Heart O’Byrne Cultural Center January 28 Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Ronnie Milsap - Bell Auditorium Mi Rancho (Washington Road) February 14 Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob Mike Farris & the Roseland Rhythm The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Revue - Imperial Theatre February 15 Big Troy Classical Mystery Tour - Bell Auditorium Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell March 8 Somewhere in Augusta - Comedy Zone Elsewhere w/ Ron Feingold and John Burton Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Ray LaMontagne - Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, Atlanta Mickey November 28 Big Gigantic - Georgia Center, Athens Upcoming Two Man Gentlemen Band, The Ramblin’ December 1 Fevers - Sky City December 6 Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - 40 Watt Steven Bryant - Cotton Patch December Club, Athens December 1 7 Gary Ray - Saddle Bags, Savannah Carey Murdock, Jacob Johnson - MAD December 1 Studios December 7 Everclear, Eve 6 - The Masquerade, Laroxes - Cotton Patch December 8 Atlanta December 2 Holiday Pops w/ Joe Gransden - Bell Two Man Gentlemen Band - Melting Auditorium December 14 Point, Athens December 4

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Sum 41 - The Masquerade, Atlanta December 5 Killswitch Engage - The Masquerade, Atlanta December 6 Dangermuffin, Sol Driven Train Smith’s Olde Bar, Atlanta December 6 Chris Young - Johnny Mercer Theatre, Savannah December 7 Valorie Miller - Sentient Bean, Savannah December 7 Brain Setzer Orchestra - Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, Atlanta December 8 Patterson Hood & Downtown Rumblers - 40 Watt Club, Athens December 8 Matisyahu - Center Stage, Atlanta December 10 Dave Matthews Band - Gwinnett Performing Arts Center, Duluth December 11 Justin Bieber, Enrique Iglesias, Kesha, Flo Rida, Owl City - Philips Arena, Atlanta December 12 Concrete Blonde - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta December 19 Space Capone - Wild Wing Café, Savannah December 20 John Berry - The Grand Opera House, Macon December 22 Perpetual Groove - Cox Capital Theatre, Macon December 29 Little Big Town, Drake White - Wild Bills, Duluth December 31 Guster - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta January 10-11

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Stages, Stages Everywhere But we can always use more live music venues

In Augusta there are some great performance stages. Some stages are small, but still pack a punch, like Stillwater Tap Room. Some stages you actually walk past as soon as you enter the door, like The Playground, Metro Coffee House, Soul Bar and The First Round. In my book, you are already doing something right by having a stage and letting people enjoy live music every weekend. For me, there are three bars that have the ideal set up for stages: Wild Wing Cafe, Sky City and the back bar of 1102 Downtown Bar and Grill. Well I can scratch one of those off my list. On a late night trip back in October to see Granny’s Gin at 1102, I noticed one thing was missing: the stage. I thought that the club was going to be doing an upgrade: bigger, better, more lights. Sadly I was informed this past week that the bar wouldn’t be hosting live musicians, but would be turning the back bar into, for lack of comparison, an adult Chuck E. Cheese. I love the one game where you hit the alligators. Maybe Dave and Busters is a better comparison, but nonetheless, I hate to see a space like that change. I still love 1102; you can’t go wrong with bottomless mimosas and bloody marys every Sunday, and they do have some of the best bartenders in town, but I will miss the live performances. Well, there is a new stage in Augusta, and this one is not downtown. I’m talking about Surreal at Surrey. Surreal took over the coveted spot in Surrey Center, best known for housing The Vue. While Surreal is definitely a club, they are branching out to host some live musicians. Coming up on December 12, Surreal welcomes American Idol winner Phillip Phillips. Nice name. I can’t say his name without saying in my best impersonation of Terrance and Philip from “South Park.” The Georgia native will be backed by the rock band A Rocket to the Moon. You can buy your tickets now at Surrey Tavern, Surreal or Bar West. Doors open up at 8:30 p.m. and tickets are only $12 in advance. I can smell the Swedish Cheeba from here already. Let me talk to Samson! Willie Nelson takes over the Bell Auditorium this Tuesday, December 4. Don’t miss out on seeing this living legend. Details at augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. If you are one of the early birds who pick up the paper on Thursdays, you can head out tonight to see the return of Right to Fall to Augusta. The band’s first appearance in Augusta was to open up for Crossfade, and now they are back to play at The Playground, along with local favorites Stillview. Advance tickets are $5 at ticketalternative.com. It’s good to see the Playground returning to its roots by allowing a rock band to take the stage, I’ve missed that place. Go ahead and mark it in your calendars; the 12 Bands of Christmas will be December 8 in the Augusta Common. Some of the best talent in Augusta will be performing all day. Next week I’ll talk with Joe Stevenson, one of the brains behind 12 Bands, to get all the details. To go ahead and buy tickets, along with getting more information on the proceeds for the event, check out 12bands.org. On a personal note, a big special thank you goes out to the band Sibling String. If you are unfamiliar with these guys, you need to get familiar. Sibling String is one of the best bands in Augusta. It’s hard to imagine being able to fit more talent on a stage when these guys are up there performing. The band, consisting of Jacob Beltz, Michael Baideme, Dave Mercer, Deveran Roof and Henry Wynn III, played 95 Rock’s Canapalooza on short notice, for free, to small crowd and killed it. There is no doubt in my mind that we will be having these guys out again. Not many musicians would give up a Friday night slot to play for free. Thank you guys. What shows are coming to Augusta? Who do you like to see? I bet I can beat you in skee ball. Email me at matt@themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. 29NOVEMBER2012

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METROSPIRIT 47

THE

EIGHT

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BOX TOPS

Just face it: The Cullens aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

BREAKING DAWN PART 2

$43,641,448

$227,366,118

SKYFALL

$35,502,973

$221,144,122

LINCOLN

$25,676,413

$62,840,796

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS

$23,773,465

$32,341,090

LIFE OF PI

$22,451,514

$30,573,101

“Life of Pi”

SAMEIFLING

A dangerous and beautiful place to which you’ll definitely want to go If you know nothing else of “Life of Pi,” you likely saw the book’s cover a decade ago, when Yann Martel’s novel was selling in bales and winning international fiction awards: a boy plus a Bengal tiger on a small boat in the big ocean. With only that in mind you can ascertain that filming this religious survival tale would be a true feat — one finally completed 11 years after the book’s debut. For fans of the novel, the wait has paid off. After sifting through a list of directors (among the discarded, blessedly: M. Night Shyamalan) and sorting out such minor details as how to feasibly shoot the middle of the Pacific Ocean (hint: first flood an airplane hangar in Taiwan), the cinematic “Life of Pi” stays faithful to the novel nearly in letter and assuredly in spirit. At turns savage, plucky and contemplative, this 12th film by Ang Lee is a big-budget 3D art epic without a single bankable American star that will easily recoup its $120 million budget and will challenge formidably come awards season. And significantly, especially for the director of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” this movie gives great tiger. Pi is Piscine Molitor Patel, played at various ages but chiefly as a reflective adult by Irrfan Khan (“The Amazing Spider-Man”) and as a castaway teenager by Suraj Sharma, making his debut. The adult Pi has welcomed a writer (Rafe Spall) to his home in Montreal to tell him his story. Born in India to a father who runs a zoo, Pi learns early of his Hindu roots but expands to become a practicing Christian and Muslim, reasoning that faith is a realm large enough to hold many gods. With the zoo on shaky finances, Pi, his parents and his brother migrate to Canada on a freighter carrying animals they aim to sell. High seas strike in the east Pacific. The ship is lost. Pi lands in a lifeboat. When the storm clears, he is sharing a 30-person aluminum boat with an injured zebra, a kindly orangutan, a vicious hyena — and Richard Parker, the zoo’s star tiger and, soon, only other survivor. The trip thereafter is nasty, brutish and long. Pi, a resourceful boy of abiding faith, finds ways to keep a distance from Richard Parker as they bob interminably, starving, parched, forlorn, across the vastness. The filmmakers surely had a choice: live tiger, live ocean, but not both. They went with

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live tiger (mostly) and a dreamy aesthetic that suits their caged sea. The cinematographer Claudio Miranda (“Fight Club,” which shares a key plot synchronicity) and Lee have assembled a panoply of shots that stand among the great achievements in filming water, particular beneath the surface and in the sinking of the freighter, a triumphant sequence. At turns, too, the religious themes and the ceaseless time in open ocean lend themselves to hallucinogenic discursions that vibrate with color and energy and depth that display, if not pioneer, the full power of 3D effects. At times, in quite a pleasant way, you will believe yourself drugged. The weaknesses of “Life of Pi” owe largely in the source material. By the end the story’s promise to make a listener believe in God rings overwrought, strained. The novel and the movie both feel seductively plausible until the realism gets a bit too magical in the final third; the script overexplains an elegant twist. But as long as you can swallow the detachable religiosity, you’ll stumble out of “Life of Pi” blinking, gathering your thoughts and realizing that you’ve just spent two hours deep down, in an enchanting and dangerous place, blissfully submerged.

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DRAMA

“Killing Them Softly,” rated R, starring Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, James Gandolfini. Reported to be a very talky crime drama in which Brad Pitt plays a “professional enforcer” asked to look into a robbery at a mobrun poker game. It’s got “mob” in the description, which we suppose is why Ray Liotta and James Gandolfini showed up. And, we also suppose, it’s why Brad Pitt has kept that ridiculous hairstyle for so long. Hopefully, once the movie hits the theater, he’ll realize he doesn’t have to keep it. “California Solo,” not yet rated, starring Robert Carlyle, Michael Des Barres. A favorite from the Sundance Film Festival, “California Solo” is about a former famous musician who, after a DUI, is threatened with deportation to Britain though he’s lived in L.A. for years. Yeah, this one probably won’t come here.

HORROR

“The Collection,” rated R, starring Josh Stewart, Emma Fitzpatrick, Christopher McDonald. In this sequel to “The Collector,” a man who escapes said collector is blackmailed into rescuing a girl from the serial killer. The only probably is that the warehouse in which the Collector keeps his victims is booby-trapped. Bummer, cause it’s probably not the good type of boobies.

WERECOMMEND “The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia”

As documentaries go, this one, now available on Netflix, has some moments. Ones that, once seen, sort of settle in to the back of your mind to ponder later. Take for instance the proud momma in her hospital bed having just delivered her baby. What to do? Why, lean over and snort a rail of cocaine off the bedside table big enough to take down a horse. And guess what? The hospital keeps the baby. There’s lots of gas huffin’, weird tap dancin’ and more drugs than you can shake a bong at. These people are called “the last of a dying breed of outlaw,” but they are really just drug-addled idiots who make great viewing. Unlike reality shows, where the dialogue is contrived and the storylines pushed by the directors and editors, you never get that feeling with this clan of knuckle draggers. And if it makes it any more watchable, it features Hank III singing some awful music. A must see! — Joe White

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WHINE

LINE The mob is operating openly here in Augusta under the guise of a “probation” company.

You can call Lori Davis a loudmouth all you want but Augusta needs more people like her willing to speak out loudly against the entrenched corruption and good-oleboy politics that has held this city back for decades. I’m sure that whine from last week was sent in by one of the sexist “good-ole-boys” who think women shouldn’t think for themselves and much less express a thought in public. The private probation company in Augusta is a sham. There is a reason they are allowed to operate here...and I’m glad the Metro Spirit is looking into it. I’ve been driving a five year old Nissan for a couple of years and I just found out I have XM radio...just like cable. 70 channels of crap.wwwsw Bravo for your article on saving the Bon Air before any more historic parts are removed. I hope the other historic places designated by Historic Augusta will also be saved. Miss Lucy Laney was and IS very important to Augusta and that last building of her Haines Institute should be repaired and preserved! I see the city is permitting free ads all over on poles and on the grounds. This will not help our good Metro Spirit at all. I wish these God-less people would stop pushing their one religion on everyone around them. Stop trying to put it in schools and workplaces! If you can’t educate enough religion at home and church times, you don’t need it, you need a psychiatrist. It’s nice to see new burger and other dishes. But things cost too much when they are over $6 an item or entree. Is there any business besides Checkers you can highlight that would have value items around $1?

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Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

ALOOKBACK

How Far We’ve Come

A look back at last November’s whines This is in response to all the press that Phil Kent has been getting. Do I think that Phil is a racist douchebag who has zero credibility as a journalist? Yes. I doubt he would be as vocal about illegal immigration if the illegals were coming from northern europe or Germany; in fact he would probably be encouraging it. The fact remains, though, that illegal immigration is wrong, the borders need to be protected and all illegals need to be deported. In Phil’s case it’s a matter of the message being right and the motivation of the messenger being wrong. Looks like your boy Eric found a way to get pretty close to Billy with the bribery story. You guys will never change. New owner, same old ax to grind. South Augusta is the gooch of Richmond County. Hey Mr. Ruffin, maybe if you would have gotten a degree in something an employer might be looking for you wouldn’t be so far below the poverty line. Philsophy/literary theory and creative writing may be your passion but don’t whine about being poor when you can’t make a dime off of it. I’m so sick of seeing nothing but white people in spotted. Yeah yall do have that one or two minorities just to make it look okay but it’s not cool. I like the Metro Spirit but I wish it was more equal with the spotted. Maybe “Ruffin it” should note the current President has received more donations from Wall Street than any other President and the Occupy Wall Street Crowd is being sponsored in part by Billionaire Capitalist George Soros. Don’t see any protest outside GE, Universities that are profiting by the millions, Fannie, Freddie, etc. Do your research college boy. Recently we attempted to take an eight and five year old out for a birthday treat to go bowling. We went to two bowling establishment in Augusta ALL FULL WITH LEAGUES. Not one lane held out for the general public despite the fact during the 10 minutes we were inquiring at each establishment two other families wanted to do the same. Clearly you could hold at least one or two lanes open and still make a living because there are plenty of families who would come to PAY TO BOWL a few rounds with their kids. Today we seem to be dumbing down faster than ever, and I feel we may need a reminder from time to time how to act in a office. First, if a woman is in a position higher than you, do not call her “young lady.” Second, many people are doing the job of five. If you are a client, co-worker, etc., leave a message. People will return your call.

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