Metro Spirit 12.05.2002

DECEMBER 5-11

VOLUME 14/ ISSUE 18

W W W. M E T S P I R I T. C O M

THE METROPOLITAN

Arts, Issues & Entertainment

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Contents The Metropolitan Spirit

DECEMBER 5-11

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F R E E W E E K LY

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ON THE COVER

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By Brian Neill.....................................22 Cover Design: Stephanie Carroll Photo: Brian Neill

The Patch

Down and Out in Augusta By Brian Neill ......................................................18 Slouching Toward Toyland By Roger Naylor ....................................................26

ANNOUNCING AMERICAN HONDA'S YEAR-END

CLEARANCE SALE AT

Opinion Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ..............................................................................4 This Modern World ........................................................4 Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down ..........................................5 Suburban Torture ...........................................................6 Clyde Wells Political Cartoon ........................................8 Austin Rhodes ..............................................................10 Insider ...........................................................................12

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The Ballet World in a Nut(cracker) Shell ....................28 Russian Quartet To Perform at ASU ...........................30

The Ballet World in a Nut(cracker) Shell..................................................28

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Movie Listings .............................................................64 Review: “Analyze That” ...............................................67 Review: “Solaris” ........................................................68 Movie Clock ..................................................................69

Music Eight Acts A-Playing .....................................................70 Brian Howe Brings Bad Company Hits to the Honky Tonk ...................................................................72 Stank Music: CDs That Never Should Have Been Pressed ................................................................73 Music by Turner ............................................................74 Nightlife .........................................................................75

Stuff News of the Weird ........................................................78 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................79 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................79 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................80 Classifieds .....................................................................81 Date Maker ...................................................................82 Automotive Classifieds ................................................84

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Jennifer H. Mar tin PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited.

Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Whine Line T

o Clyde Wells: “Welcome back!

Glad you got off your vacation.”

year. I’m keeping my eyes and ears on this to see what comes of this.

Boss Bob wins again. God help Augusta. They should have a spot on the ballot: “Vote, none of the above.”

You guys can’t get anybody decent to run for office.

To the decent guy who says women are looking for deadbeats: I’ve been looking for a decent guy for the past year and I’m wondering if there are any out there. Tell him women do look for decent guys.

To all the whiners who talked about Don Cheeks abandoning the Democratic Party: They abandoned him years ago. Charles Walker made sure Don had no power to move any legislation forward. Don Cheeks has been stabbed in the back so many times by the Democrats and he still remains loyal to them.

To the persons whining about the person who was whining about the lint on her dress: This forum is the Whine Line, so that you can whine or complain about anything you like. I don’t believe you have the class that it takes to understand where this woman is coming from. You tell her to get a life; I ask you to get a clue. It’s so refreshing to hear a whine that doesn’t involve black or white, Republican or Democrat.

Why are the Republicans beating up on Al Gore? Are they afraid he will beat Bush again?

To the person who asked if anyone else believed the terrorists were involved in the cruise lines’ medical problems: I believe the same way. I have cruised for over 25 years now, and have never seen this before. I have seen bad food one time over 15 years ago make people sick, but that can happen anywhere. I’m due to take a cruise the first part of March next

To the person that’s suggested terrorists might be behind the cruise ship problems: I’m more likely to believe it’s sanitation and hygiene behind the problem. Foreign ships and crews are not held to the same standards as American ships.

Only the Augusta CSRA, the second largest metro area in Georgia, can let something like this happen. Sunday, at the

Words “I’ll go ahead on and leave and get back to where I was on the street — hustling, getting folk to the polls ... I’m trying to get a (new) mayor in here.”

— Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays during the Nov. 26 budget meeting, talking in his usual, drawn-out and meandering fashion, and thereby postponing a vote on the budget. However, a new day has dawned, and if Augusta Mayor Bob Young keeps his promise of changing the structure of local government that he made the night he was re-elected, this type of posturing and politicking, along with Mays’ often lengthy and nebulous diatribes, will fall by the wayside.

Columbia County Christmas parade, dump trucks, garbage trucks and even a septictank truck were parading down Washington Street. Fire trucks, flatbed trucks and buses, I can see, but this? Is this the best the second-largest metro area can do? No wonder they laugh at us “back-country rednecks” in Atlanta. We are progressing, are we? Not! Put an arena on River Watch Parkway?

Maybe I’m not remembering correctly, but wasn’t the Parkway originally envisioned as a greenway from which you could see the river? We don’t need another eyesore like Washington Road to greet visitors to the Garden City. With all the concrete will come all the support businesses (i.e., fast-food restaurants etc.).

Come on Met Spirit, let’s see an article on the environmental impact of building right next to our precious canal. Furthermore, what does that lame line by Shreve mean? (“It needs to be near the population and accessible to the entire region.”). With all the rundown buildings downtown, do we really need to unnecessarily chew up unoccupied land (a la Wal-Mart) because somebody thinks people won’t drive an extra mile or two? Ridiculous!

Morris and his cronies want a new civic center out on I-20 because they think people will get lost finding one downtown.

People don’t seem to have trouble finding Phillips Arena in Atlanta. People aren’t getting lost finding the Classic Center in downtown Athens. So what’s the problem with Augusta? Is everyone here illiterate and can’t read a sign?

I just found out that Burnt Mill Plantation in Aiken closed down two years ago. Where can we go to enjoy Christmas lights on a hayride? I am really saddened by this.

For the last few years, I have attended many of the Augusta Jazz Project Masters of Swing concerts at the Imperial Theatre.

Why is it that, in the second-largest city in

Georgia, only about 100 people attend?

This is a great evening folks. Get out and support your local talent!

My whine is in regard to the quality in food declining once a clientele is established in some restaurants.

South Carolina Governor-Elect, Mark Sanford has the right idea when he says he will de-fund lobbyists. This needed change won’t allow bureaucrats to spend taxpayer money to wine and dine lawmakers. It’s too bad that Representative Ben Harbin is elected to the Georgia Legislature and not to South Carolina; otherwise, he might have to look for a new job or go on a diet.

Now that Bob Young is mayor again, there should be less complaining in this whine section. You kept on until consolidation passed, but almost all you do is complain about it. You complained that Bob Young was not fit to be mayor but you voted him in for four more years. White Democrats crossed over and voted for Young, despite knowing he’s not a good mayor and does nothing but divide the races. Ed could have bridged the gap. Now if you could only get rid of the black commissioners that you think are causing all the problems in Augusta, then this paper could shut down and everyone could be happy again, and there should be no more whining, right?

Bravo to the man who would dare to discipline his 13-year-old daughter. I’ll bet she won’t do that any more. Too bad he had to go to jail for it. Wonder who learned the lesson here, the father or the daughter?

To support the oil war with Iraq, all SUV owners should be required to register for the draft regardless of age, sex or health.

They should be the first ones called up. If they love their gas guzzlers so much, then they should be the ones to die for them.

Actually, the same principle should apply continued on page 6

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Thumbs Up Who says national sports figures aren’t heroes? Before Thanksgiving weekend, Atlanta Falcons running back Warrick Dunn reportedly presented four low-income, working mothers each with a $5,000 down payment on new, fully furnished homes. The three-bedroom homes include living room furniture, washers, dryers, bedroom furniture, entertainment centers and a refrigerator overflowing with food.

This year, let the green box say it for you.

According to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Dunn began the program in honor of his mother, Betty Smothers, a Baton Rouge police officer and single mother. When Dunn was 18, his mother was killed in the line of duty. Dunn, who was the oldest of six children in the family, said he began the program because his mother had always dreamed of owning her own home.

Thumbs Down Augusta attorney Jimmy Lester, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported, has the distinction of being one of the Georgia Department of Transportation board’s most frequent fliers on state-owned planes and helicopters.

Lester, the newspaper reported, cost taxpayers $1,645 to fly him by helicopter to and from a one-hour meeting in Atlanta in September.

In July, Lester also reportedly flew on state aircraft between Augusta and Atlanta four times within a 27-hour period for board meetings.

Responding in the article, Lester, in part, told the AJC that he receives little compen-

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sation for serving on the board and his efficient utilization of time is “directly linked to my livelihood and my obligations are to serving my clients.”

The director of a government watchdog group who was also cited in the story said he understood why some board members fly to meetings instead of driving, given the size of the state. But he failed to understand why those same board members didn’t use commercial flights, typically booked at a fraction of the cost of the state aircraft, to arrive in a timely fashion.

Why is that, Lester?

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Not to invoke the “Orwellian” theme again, but two recent events happening in the same week seem to show that any contrarian thought or satire aimed at G. Dubya, who now seems to be the world’s fearless leader, is promptly squelched.

First, there was Francoise Ducros, the communications director for the prime minister of Canada, who resigned Nov. 26 after her private comment to a radio reporter about President Bush being a “moron,” was overheard by other members of the media, who

ran with the comment.

Then, there was a TV ad for an animated comedy series in England that humorously depicted Bush inserting a DVD into a toaster, which was banned by an advertising watchdog agency of the British government on Nov. 27.

The agency told the Associated Press that people had a right not to be exploited for another’s gain, but the ad could run if Bush gave permission.

However, the producer of the comedy series told AP that requiring satirists to seek permission from their targets was “an idiotic request.”

Obviously, he needs to be sent away for reprogramming.

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continued from page 4 to everyone who wants to go to war with Iraq. You want it, you fight it — on the front lines where the killing and dying happens. And Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft and Rice should lead the first charge.

Yuk! Four more insane years with Mayor Boob trashing Augusta!

Yes, the Democrats tax and spend and Republicans borrow and spend. Georgia needs nonpartisan elections.

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Cheers to the Bush twins, who have turned 21 and can finally throw away their fake IDs. Here are a few words of wisdom: 1) Burn the fake ID cards. 2) Go back to Austin’s margarita palace Chuy’s, where the bartender called the cops on you.

Tipping is optional. 3) Since you are a Bush, beware of pretzels. 4) Listen to advice from your family — except for cousin Noelle. Don’t drink anything that comes in a fish bowl. 5) Every time dad uses the word “evil” in public, down a shot. 6) Swap nights in the Lincoln Bedroom for drinks on the house. 7) Leave the public hurling to your grandfather. 8) When the party’s over, go cow-tipping in your own backyard. 9) Secret Service agents aren’t just third wheels — think of them as designated drivers!

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So some people in Augusta want to spend $89 million to build a 12,000-seat arena next to a truck stop off I-20. Greenville, S.C., spent only $63 million on a beautiful 16,000-seat arena located in the heart of its thriving downtown. That’s 4,000 more seats and costing $26 million less. Seems to me that the taxpayers of Augusta are getting a bum deal on this arena plan.

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To the “upscale type of lady” who “frequents only the finer restaurants in Augusta” and complained about lint from the napkins on her skirt: Well, well, well.

Is that you, Bonnie Ruben? Looks like you really don’t have anything to do but

call the Whine Line after flunking out of the mayoral race. Choosing the Whine Line as your vent makes sense, too, because you’re too embarrassed to show your voice on Austin Rhodes so soon after your defeat. You really don’t have anything interesting to say unless you’re parroting Sue Burmeister, do you?

What a disgrace to the whiner who gets lint all over her dress when she goes out to the finer restaurants. Quit wasting our time. If you’re such an “upper-classer,” bring your own damned napkin. You can keep it in that oversized purse of yours.

To the whiner about Georgia’s due process in the death penalty case: Amen! Twentytwo years is 22 years too long.

Isn’t it ironic that Amnesty International, Roslyn Carter et al, managed to save Alexander Williams from a quiet, easy death by lethal injection and rather condemned him to the horror of a choking, gagging death as he hung in his cell? In the end I guess justice was served.

Whose great idea was it to use pipes that spray rusty water all over the brand-new tax-dollars-paid-for walls of the Golf Gardens downtown? It was probably some city official with a relative in the pressurewashing business! Sheesh, this town!

Will Columbia County Representative Benji Harbin introduce and support legislation for a countywide school board chairman, or will he wimp out like Commissioner Mercer regarding a separate chamber of commerce for the county? My bet is that Harbin has neither the brain nor backbone to do what the voters supported in the Republican primary. After all, there is no lobbyist money on the line here!

I am tired of the Sierra Club environmental wacko, with evangelical leaning, advertisement asking, “What would Jesus drive?” Shame on them! For if they read their Bibles, they would know the answer — a Chevy 2500, crew cab, extended bed, truck. Jesus was a builder (carpenter) who would have to haul materials and workers in today’s society. It’s a sad day when the wackos have to resort to religion to peddle their wares! continued on page 8

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To the person who said that the results of this election were because America woke up! No, America did not wake up and will never wake up until most people stop voting along racial lines or political lines, which is why the results are as they are. Until people stop doing that, we will never get any qualified leaders in office. Augusta knows that Bob Young is no way near qualified to be mayor, but because he is white or Republican, most will vote for him anyway. Those elections had nothing to do with who was best for an office; it just reflected what we have been dealing with for hundreds of years and that’s skin color and uplifting a party whether they are qualified or not, plain and simple.

Here are some examples of politically incorrect speech in Augusta: War with Iraq is based on oil; there should be no war with Iraq. Christian fundamentalism is a threat to religious liberty. John Ashcroft is a bigger threat to America than Saddam Hussein. These are some examples for those of you who are confused about what politically correct speech can be.

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com.

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CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY “Georgia’s Oldest Catholic Church” Located in Downtown Augusta Corner of 8th and Telfair Streets Schedule of Liturgies:

Daily Mass: Mon-Fri 12:15 PM Sat 10:00 AM Sunday Mass: Vigil 5:00 PM 7:45 AM, 10:00AM & 12:30 PM Reconciliation 3:30-4:30 PM Sat Miraculous Medal Novena following Monday’s 12:15 PM Mass Solemn Exposition & Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament following Thursday’s 12:15 PM Mass-4PM Daily Rosary Mon-Fri following daily Mass

Phone: 706.722.4944 Fax: 706.722.7774 www.themostholytrinity.org

YOUNG ADULTS Wednesday night 7:30-9PM Bible Study every other month Theology on Tap 7PM Wednesday nights in January at the Modjeska - Different speaker every Wednesday

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Thursday, December 19 – 7:00pm Penance Service

Christmas Mass Schedule: Tuesday, Christmas Eve, December 24 Solemn Vigil Mass – 4pm Family Vigil Mass w/ Children’s Pageant – 6:30pm Festival of Carols – 11:30pm Solemn High Sung Midnight Mass – 12 midnight Wednesday, Christmas Day, December 25 Solemn Mass for Christmas Day – 10:00am New Year’s Day Schedule: Tuesday, December 31 Solemnity of Mary Mother of God, World Day or Prayer for Peace Vigil Mass – 4:00pm Wednesday, January 1 Solemnity of Mary Mother of God, World Day or Prayer for Peace Vigil Mass – 12:15pm

Parish Religious Education Mission Statement The catechetical program of Most Holy Trinity Parish seeks to provide adults, youth, and children with the knowledge, experiences, and skills necessary to become faithful and fruitful disciples of Jesus. In keeping with their age, they will assume responsibility as vital members of the parish and be able to participate in the Church’s mission to proclaim, celebrate, and serve the coming of God’s reign.

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DUI

Opinion: Austin Rhodes

TO GO!

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Johnson Sticking to His Guns, but He Must Clean His Own (Club) House

T

he first of a few lying rats has jumped from the good ship Augusta National.

Good frigging riddance.

The fight for female membership at the club, brought by the shrill and intellectually empty demands of Martha Burk, is beginning to expose a few dishonest men among the Green Coats.

Any golfer worth his salt will tell you that the top priority in sportsmanship and fellowship on a golf course is honesty.

Without honesty your game is worthless.

More than almost any other sport, golf compels its players to abide by its rules or face the ultimate penalty, disqualification. In this game even a simple, honest mistake can cost a king his crown. Ask Roberto DeVicenzo. In 1968, on those very links, the slip of a pencil on a paper scorecard cost him the most precious trophy in golf. His own integrity prevented him from even complaining about it.

In baseball, football, basketball and hockey, bending the rules is not only part of the game, but celebrated. Generally, those who are good at fudging become heralded and emulated.

Not so in golf. An illegal brush with a ball that lasts a microsecond will cause an honest professional golfer to penalize himself, even if no one else saw the infraction.

It is called integrity, and without it in golf, you are nothing.

While very little is specifically known about the internal rules and regulations for the membership of Augusta National, one edict is legend: Members do not discuss the club, or club policy, with outsiders, particularly, the media. The club chairman is the only voice of Augusta National, and is the only voice to be heard on matters involving the club.

There is not a single member who does not understand that rule, and there is not a single member who should be above it.

It was a hard and fast commandment written by and enforced for decades by Clifford Roberts. While the man had his faults, his talent for running a golf club was not one of them. The club, and indeed the Masters golf tournament, is what it is today because of the dedication to detail and “pigheadedness” of Roberts and his partner Bobby Jones.

I borrow the term “pigheaded” from a statement by deserting rat No. 1, former National member Thomas Wyman.

Wyman joined the club 25 years ago when, ironically, there were also no female members. Back then though, no one noticed, so it was OK. There were also no black members then either, but again, it was OK because no one noticed.

Wyman’s resignation was announced to the world by The New York Times, the

same group who urged Tiger Woods to boycott the tournament. By the way, when the Times media contingent shows up for the contest next April, I will let you guys know where they are staying.

But I digress. Wyman, in a statement that could have been written by Burk herself, said, “There are obviously some redneck, (good) ol’ boy types down there ...” Geez mister, you oughta know; you were hanging thick with them for a quarter of a century.

If Wyman honestly believes female membership is a big deal, and why he would I have no idea, then why didn’t he stay and fight from within, abiding by the rules he agreed to when he first joined?

I will tell you why: Wyman and his ilk represent such a minuscule percentage of the membership that they know they won’t win.

Slowly but surely Chairman Hootie Johnson’s rationale and aggressive response to Burk’s efforts have been vindicated. He knew from day one that his club, and their constitutional right of free association, was facing a relentless attack. From what I have been able to gather, the vast majority of the club membership watching this battle are rallying around their leader.

And much of the press is coming around as well. There has been more support of the National in the mainstream sports press than criticism. It is important to note that this support is coming from people who know golf and its traditions rather than the “Martha Burk” types who don’t know a golfball from a goofball. If Burk takes a good look in the mirror, she will learn that distinction.

Again with the digression.

It is time Chairman Johnson does what golf etiquette demands he do: Expel the dishonest. If a member of the National has willingly made statements to the press involving this issue, other than to say “No comment,” he should be shown the gate post haste. The questioning of the rules or policies of Augusta National does not diminish them. Breaking them openly, which members like Lloyd Ward and Sanford Weill have done, most certainly does.

At this time, the fact that Augusta National has not acted to eradicate the rulebreakers is the only thing that has disappointed me in this battle. But it is not too late.

Chairman Johnson has cheaters among him, and I hope the honest spirit of Roberto DeVicenzo haunts him until he moves to expel them.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

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Opinion: Insider

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our more years of Bob Young. For some, another mayoral term for Young is good news. After all, 22,667 people voted for him. But for a significant number of Augustans, especially the 21,217 who voted for Ed McIntyre, the idea of putting up with Young for four more years is a nightmare.

Young must move quickly to show his willingness to work with the black community. His task of gaining any support among blacks will be especially difficult because his campaign strategy was to blame all the bad things about Augusta government on the five black Augusta commissioners. He cannot count on these commissioners to help him. Because of the tone of Young’s camMayor Bob Young paign, they did everything they could to bring him down.

AfricanAmericans are looking for leadership.

With state Sen. Charles Walker’s defeat at the hands of Randy Hall, Augusta’s most powerful black Former Mayor elected official is no Ed McIntyre longer in power.

Most black Augustans viewed a McIntyre victory in the mayoral race as vital in order to maintain strong participation in the way Augusta operates and to ensure that the interests of the black community are taken into consideration.

At this point, many African-Americans feel left out of the process. They don’t trust Young.

There is at least one person in the black community who can help Young and the city of Augusta during the next four years. He has repeatedly proven his vote-getting skills in the black community and has the respect of many white Augustans. He is intelligent and experienced. That person is Ed McIntyre. If Young is politically astute, which is questionable, he will attempt to bring McIntyre into the political/governing process in some way.

For the McIntyre bashers, hard-core Republicans, and the rich, white guys who have bought and paid for Young, this idea may be difficult to swallow.

But McIntyre is Young’s and the city’s best hope for building a bridge between black and white Augustans in the short term. The black community supports and listens to Ed McIntyre. That should be obvious by now. Young would be wise to seek McIntyre’s counsel.

Changing Local Government One of the first remarks to come from the mouth of a victorious Mayor Bob Young on election night was something about changing

local government. His entire campaign was based on deflecting criticism from himself and placing it squarely on the shoulders of Augusta’s black commissioners. He whines that he can’t accomplish much because the mayor’s office has no power even though in the 1998 election he continually chastised former Mayor Larry Sconyers for crying about lack of power. Young implies he can do something to change local government but the fact of the matter is that he has no power to do that. The authority rests with the local legislative delegation.

The legislation to alter the way Augusta government operates, introduced by state Rep. Sue Burmeister in the 2002 legislative session, catapulted the first-term representative to center stage and provided political fire power that ultimately led to her victory in the House District 96 election this year. The issue also divided Augusta blacks and whites immensely.

Radically changing local government in the manner Burmeister’s bill suggested last session will be very difficult to do in the 2003 session.

First, state Senator-Elect Randy Hall barely defeated state Sen. Charles Walker in this year’s upset election. He managed to win, partially, because he was supported by several black ministers who went against Walker and endorsed Hall.

Some of these same ministers were front and center in the debate over changing local government. They were against it. Hall must tread lightly around this issue. His fellow Republican legislators must appreciate his position and the position of his African-American constituents.

Second, for a bill to change the government to come out of the state House and move along to the state Senate, it must receive three signatures of the five local state representatives. Three of these five are African-Americans and must answer to their constituents. State Rep. Henry Howard was adamantly against the bill Burmeister introduced this year, as was state Rep. Alberta Anderson. The third black representative is newcomer Quincy Murphy. It is unclear where he stands on the issue. Plus, George DeLoach, a Republican and a supporter of change, was defeated by Democrat Pete Warren. There is no clear sign that state Representative-Elect Young wants dramatic change immediately. We’ll just have to wait and see.

So, it is certainly not a given that there will be significant changes in local government that come out of the 2003 legislative session. The bet is that if there are any changes they will be modest. One thing is for sure: While Bob Young may have input, the African-American community is the force to be reckoned with regarding any changes.

A large segment of the black community dislikes Mayor Young and giving him more authority is not on their list of priorities. If local Republican legislators, with their newfound power, ignore the concerns of Augusta’s black community, their day in the sun will be short-lived.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

13 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

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MetroBeat

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5

Beard and Shepard Compromise on 2003 Budget

I

t wasn’t easy, but Augusta commissioners Steve Shepard and Lee Beard managed to broker a deal for the 2003 budget on Dec. 2 that satisfied all the commissioners’ concerns and avoided a property tax increase.

After having recessed their Nov. 19 meeting, not once but twice, in order to adhere to a recently adopted city ordinance that required commissioners to approve the 2003 budget by their last meeting in November, commissioners were up against the wall.

They had to adopt a budget before their Dec. 3 meeting or they would be violating their own ordinance.

So, the Dec. 2 budget meeting was the commission’s last chance.

Commissioners were close to striking a deal before the Thanksgiving holiday, but political rhetoric reared its ugly head and prevented the budget from being approved.

A majority of the commissioners were comfortable with a proposed budget presented by Shepard, which included no millage rate increase; a freeze on all new programs and personnel proposed

by City Administrator George Kolb, with the exception of requests from the tax assessor’s office and civil court; the deletion of a proposed economic development department; and the elimination of the funding for 34 of the 68 vacant positions in the city government.

Only those vacant positions that

were crucial to the government would be filled next year, Shepard said.

But with a vote of 5-3-1 on Nov. 26, Shepard’s proposal failed by a single vote.

That one vote could have been cast by Augusta Commissioner Ulmer Bridges, had he not had a previously scheduled engagement and been forced to leave the budget meeting early.

However, before he left the commission chamber, Bridges tried everything humanly possible to push for a vote on the 2003 budget.

“I would like to apologize to the commission. I’m going to have to be leaving right now to make a presentation for my job, but I would like an opportunity to vote on the budget,” Bridges said, requesting that the commission vote on Shepard’s proposed budget.

But Bridges’ request was denied by Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams, who insisted that, because he had asked to comment on the budget before Bridges’ request, he should be allowed to speak.

“No sir,” Williams said, responding to Bridges’ request. “I had my hand up and I want to be recognized before we take any vote or go any further.

I’ll try not to be long, Ulmer (Bridges).”

Williams proceeded to talk for several minutes, which led to further comments and questions from com-

“

BY STACEY EIDSON

missioners Tommy Boyles and Willie Mays. About 15 minutes after his initial request to consider voting on the 2003 budget, Bridges was forced to leave the meeting without casting a vote.

Inevitably, the Nov. 26 vote on Shepard’s budget proposal failed, but Mays informed Shepard it wasn’t because the commission didn’t support what he was trying to do.

Compared to the commission’s weekend budget workshop organized

by Kolb at the Julian Smith Casino in early November, Mays told Shepard his efforts on the budget should be commended.

“I was up there at Julian Smith Casino and I was very disappointed with the way that went and I made my comments very public,” Mays said. “In fact, from Willie (Mays) to Steve (Shepard), I’ve been more pleased with what you put together in the last week than some of the stuff that I heard up there (at Julian Smith Casino) and since then.”

Kolb apparently took Mays’ comments to heart, because on Dec. 2, he presented the commission with a new version of his proposed budget which worked off of Shepard’s budget proposal.

The basic changes Kolb made from Shepard’s budget was that he requested that the commission restore a proposal to reclassify employees’ salaries

within the city.

Through this reclassification, many employees would receive salary increases.

Kolb also asked that the commission reconsider including in the budget a proposed pay-for-performance program. This program would allow department heads to provide employees with pay increases for outstanding service throughout the year.

“And the rationale behind that is, if we are going to implement some programs that we want to see accomplished in the organization, you really need to show the employees that we are also willing to provide incentives,” Kolb said. “To cut it out of the budget, I think, sends the wrong message.”

Kolb said the total cost for both the salary reclassification and pay-forperformance program would be approximately $640,000.

However, Beard and Shepard did not feel that the current economy supported the city giving employees salary increases.

“From the state level to the local level and even the national level, we are in trouble as far as finance is concerned,” Beard said. “With our economy the way it is, I don’t see how we can think at this time of salary reclassification and pay-forcontinued on page 16

I think we are at that point where I believe most people should be thankful for the job that they have and can go to every day.

”

– Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard

2 0 0 2

16 continued from page 15 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

performance increases.

“I think we are at that point where I believe most people should be thankful for the job that they have and can go to every day.”

Beard did, however, believe that the purchasing department should be provided $38,000 to fill a vacant position in the city’s print shop.

He also supported increasing funding for the Lucy Craft Laney Museum from $75,000 to $150,000, as well as agreeing with Shepard’s proposal to provide the Augusta Museum of History with $300,000.

But Kolb recommended that monies for the city’s museums not be funded though the general fund budget.

Instead, Kolb suggested that the

commission continue to fund the Augusta Museum of History and the Lucy Craft Laney Museum from a portion of the hotel-motel tax.

For the last several years, almost 1 cent of the 6-cent hotel-motel tax has been given to the two local museums.

Kolb recommended that, not only should the museums be funded through the hotel-motel tax, but the commission should also ask the legislative delegation to amend the law regarding the hotel-motel tax.

Currently, half of the money generated from the hotel-motel tax is given to the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority to fund the civic center.

Kolb suggested that, if voters support building a new $89.9 million

sports arena in Augusta, the commission should not provide the coliseum authority with so much money.

“I will be recommending to the commission probably later on this week that you approach the state legislators and request that they amend the law dividing the funding of the hotel-motel tax,” Kolb said.

“Specifically, the 50 percent to the civic center should be changed.

“That would allow the commission to make the determination as to how much money should go to the current civic center operations.”

Kolb also said, by amending the law for the hotel-motel tax, the commission could have a permanent funding source for the two museums.

Commissioner Bill Kuhlke said the

only problem he had with Kolb’s proposal was that the restructuring of the hotel-motel tax could take time.

“That’s not going to happen overnight,” Kuhlke said. “And I think there needs to be some degree of comfort on the part of the museums as to where their funding is coming from.”

Several other commissioners agreed, stating that the city should quit funding the museums out of the hotelmotel tax, which originally was established to attract overnight visitors to Augusta.

In the end, the commission unanimously voted in support of Beard’s amendments to the 2003 budget proposed by Shepard.

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18 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

Down and Out in Augusta

By Brian Neill

essica Flynn’s been there. Out on the streets. Homeless.

She knows what it’s like to have to pretend to be drinking a cup of coffee for the next three hours inside a fast-food restaurant to avoid having to go out in the cold.

She knows which overpasses not to sleep under in order to avoid pesky teen-agers who ride by on bikes and pelt you with rocks.

And she knows that the downtown public library is no longer a place where a homeless person can catch a nap.

Although many would argue that’s exactly as it should be, Flynn, who now helps the homeless as a liaison with the Augusta Task Force for the Homeless, says people without a roof over their head aren’t given enough consideration here.

“Augusta is the only place I know of that will spend $2.6 million for a park (the Augusta Common) for everyone to enjoy, but if they catch a homeless person in there, they’ll run you out,” Flynn said. “For instance, the public library: I understand they don’t like people congregating there, but back when I was homeless, you could at least go to the library and go back in one of the corners and catch a nap if you needed it. But now they have little signs all over the place — if you’re caught sleeping, you get woke up the first time. The second time, you’re kicked out of the library.

Flynn recently relived her homeless experience (pictured left), visiting a clump of trees next to a brick wall off Telfair Street where she used to sleep when she was on the streets.

“If you’ve never been to where you have no place to live or you don’t have a place to put your head and stuff like that, you don’t understand what it’s like.”

It seems that American society in general is growing weary of caring for those “huddled masses,” and the “homeless, tempest-tossed” that Lady Liberty professes to embrace.

A recent Washington Post article documented the growing trend by cities to actively enforce ordinances and measures aimed at keeping the homeless well out of sight.

For instance, in Orlando, Fla., home of Disney World, the city council recently passed a measure that would jail individuals caught sitting or lying on downtown sidewalks.

New Orleans recently removed benches in the historic Jackson Square to keep individuals from sleeping there. And local business leaders in San Francisco, long considered one of the nation’s most compassionate cities toward the homeless, have embarked on a shaming campaign, posting ads on billboards and at taxi stops that feature citizens holding cardboard signs that read, “I want to walk a block without getting hassled for money,” or “I don’t want to hold my breath past every alley.”

Most people blame much of the homeless epidemic on the shaky economy, which probably comes as no surprise, given the tens of thousands of layoffs the nation has incurred since Wall Street began its downward plunge several years ago.

Various surveys say anywhere from 2 million to 3 million people in this country experience homelessness each year.

Many cities also report a shortage of shelters, leaving homeless people no other place to go but the streets. Often, those people are treated as criminals.

“We are definitely seeing a rise in the number of places criminalizing homeless people,” Donald Whitehead, executive director of the National Coalition for the Homeless told the Post.

“The problem is getting bigger, and the people are losing patience.”

Augusta seemed no different when, earlier this year, the sheriff’s department announced it would begin to arrest panhandlers asking for money downtown.

However, even though the Georgia branch of the American Civil Liberties Union reportedly took initial exception to the measure, Joan Stoddard, executive director of the Augusta Task Force for the Homeless, thinks it has been applied with temperance.

“We don’t really have any problems with our clients coming in and saying they’ve been harassed,” Stoddard said, seated in her office in the agency’s headquarters at 730 East Boundary Street. “On First Friday, we did have one of our clients that was arrested. He was involved in that fight that was down there (at October’s First Friday event).”

The move to crack down on panhandlers locally came, in part, after a group of individuals said to be living on the streets broke into several downtown businesses.

Stoddard said she did not recognize any of those individuals as being among the 6,000 or so homeless clients her agency serves each year.

She added that only a handful of homeless people have been arrested under the new pandhandling measure, which carries a maximum fine of $1,000 and no more than 60 days in jail.

But that’s not to say Augusta is without a problem homeless element — a population that Stoddard estimates to be around 350 people, many of whom have drug and/or mental health problems and no desire to leave the streets.

“I myself, just in the last couple of weeks, have been to S&S Cafeteria on Walton Way, and there were two clients that were out on the street and didn’t recognize me and they came up to my car

and asked me for money,” Stoddard said.

“And I told them, ‘Well, I’ll take you down to the task force and we’ll do an intake and get your needs met,’ and they just turned around and walked off.”

Sifting the Bad From the Bad-off Part of Stoddard’s goal is to determine which members of Augusta’s homeless population fall into the category of not wanting help to regain independence and leave the streets.

As part of the federal Housing and Urban Development agency’s goal of devising a plan to end chronic homelessness by 2010, the Augusta Task Force for the Homeless, over the next three years, is participating in a point-in-time, homeless street count.

A group of volunteers is setting out twice each year — on one of the coldest days in February and one of the hottest in August — to count people living on the streets and assess their needs and desires to get help.

That’s where Flynn comes in.

Having been homeless herself, Flynn knows the ins and outs of the homeless community and is able to help Stoddard’s agency sound out the places where homeless people congregate and sleep.

Flynn became homeless after her mental illness and depression led her to leave her

children and a job as a data-processing manager for an environmental firm.

“Things just got out of control and one day I couldn’t deal with it anymore. So I asked my mother if she could watch my boys, take care of my kids, and I closed up shop, basically,” Flynn recalled. “And I lost everything. I lost my house, I lost the kids, I lost everything and I just ended up wandering for the next five years of my life from place to place.”

Although Flynn is participating in the study to identify the chronic homeless in the local community, she said the purpose of the street count is not to drive those people out of the area, as other cities have done.

“The survey’s not to find people who are troublemakers to try and get rid of them and stuff like that,” Flynn said. “It’s just to find out where they’re sleeping and see if they are willing to get help.

“Some of these guys are out there because they’re lazy. There’s just no two ways about it; they’re just plain lazy. But a lot of them are out there because they just don’t know what to do or they have mental illness.”

Bolstering that claim, Stoddard said the task force brought on a staffer from the Augusta-Richmond County Community Mental Health Center last December to

assess and assist with mental health and drug problems among the homeless.

That same month, the task force took in 151 new clients. Of those, 54 were referred to the mental health worker.

“So that tells you the percent of our clients that do have drug, alcohol and mental health problems,” Stoddard said.

Many of the chronic homeless also are veterans who have a hard time adapting to the group settings of homeless shelters because of post-traumatic stress syndrome and other disorders, Flynn said.

“A lot of the guys are Vietnam-era veterans and they just choose to be homeless, into the streets,” said Flynn, herself a U.S. Navy veteran. “They’re not comfortable being in that environment where everybody’s thrown together.”

Today a Mortgage, Tomorrow the Streets Stoddard thinks many people don’t realize how easy it is to become homeless.

Many of the clients that come to her agency have experienced a recent job loss.

In some cases they already have considerable debt or unforseen emergencies, such as a major car repair, and find the situation quickly snowballing out of control.

Before they know it, there’s an eviction notice greeting them when they arrive home.

Jessica Flynn, a local advocate for the homeless, keeps this quarter from the year she became homeless, 1973, on her keychain. “When I give talks to kids about homelessness, I always say, ‘That quarter is the only thing standing between you being on the streets.’ “

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The task force, which operates on an annual budget of $221,000 derived from federal, state, local and private funding, does provide homeless-prevention money to those facing eviction.

However, because of funding limitations, the agency cannot help all the families who face having their belongings thrown out onto the curb.

“We’re seeing an increased number of those that are being evicted from homes,” Stoddard said. “And this past year we just started a homeless-prevention plan here in our office and we are overwhelmed with the number of people we see coming in asking for homeless prevention assistance due to job loss in the area.

“We were able last month to service 27 of those families to prevent homelessness and keep them in their homes. But, 75 is what came to our door asking for help.”

Single mothers also comprise a large number of those individuals seeking assistance from the task force. The majority of those women are between 18 and 35 years old, have a minimum of three children, and have suffered from an abusive situation, Stoddard said.

Because local shelters are often filled to capacity, or are not structured to accommodate women with children, many of those single mothers have to be turned away, Stoddard said.

“Every single day — every single day — the task force here has to turn away at least one homeless woman with children that

Joan Stoddard, executive director of the Augusta Task Force for the Homeless we cannot place in shelter, because our shelters are full,” Stoddard said. “So where does that mean these people are going?

They’re going back to the street. They’re going to sleep in a car. They may be going to sleep in an abandoned building.”

Like other cities, Stoddard said Augusta is in great need of more facilities to house the homeless.

THE GIFT

of the Season

She said she is currently looking into several offers, one from the owner of a hotel in the 400 block of Broad Street, to provide additional shelter space.

Although Stoddard believes the homeless here are not treated as disparagingly as in other cities, she said a little compassion can go a long way.

“I think a lot of people walk past and

they don’t realize that the person next to them is homeless,” Stoddard said. “But when you go up and down Greene Street, I would venture to say most of the people you see on the side of the road walking are our homeless clients.

“I feel that every homeless person in Augusta-Richmond County should have a warm bed to sleep in at night.”

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Boom! Boom!

By Brian Neill

N

o doubt you’ve experienced the reverberating thunder at a red light, a pounding sound with the ability to rattle nerves and compound the problems of the day.

Or, maybe you awoke last night to the throbbing, droning bass coming from your apartment complex parking lot.

What began as a fad has now become ingrained in our culture, with debatable societal impacts, depending on whom you ask.

They’re commonly referred to as “boom cars,” automobiles stuffed with enough speakers and amplifiers as to be too much sound system for even a large home.

And the trend has left the confines of the teenage set, expanding to include people in their 30s, and possibly older.

People across the country engage in competitions to see whose vehicle sound system is the loudest and most clear. Some competitors have spent thousands of dollars on their car stereos just to be the loudest on the block.

In our own neck of the woods, drive down Washington Road on any given Friday or Saturday night and you’ll find carloads of teens and twentysomethings engaged in mock, decibel, warfare.

Mike Wheelis, owner of Innovative Audio, 3103 Washington Road, makes his living installing the huge “woofer” bass speakers and amplifiers in people’s cars.

He thinks the trend is about innocent fun and the enjoyment of music, even though he’s been cited for noise violations in his own car — once, right across the street from his store, to the tune of a $125 fine.

“As far as the bass, I hope kids keep on liking it,” Wheelis, 24, said. “It keeps me in business.”

Others, however, think sellers and manufacturers of the loud, booming stereos should be run out of business.

One of them is Mark Huber, spokesman for Noise Free America, a Virginia-based, grassroots organization whose goal is to

quell boom cars and other forms of noisome annoyance.

“To me, it’s just a violation of personal sanctity,” Huber said by phone. “It’s trespassing onto my personal property and robbing quiet out of my home. There’s neighborhoods where children can find no quiet time to read, to study, to learn, to explore their young imaginations and develop an independent personality.”

Last year, the U.S. Department of Justice issued a special report dealing with the matter of loud car stereos and ways to address the problem.

“Noise from a variety of sources, including loud car stereos, can cause hearing loss, disturb sleep, increase stress, make people irritable, and make naturally aggressive people even more aggressive,” the report stated.

It seems that Richmond County residents also have had their fill of the loud car stereos.

Major Larry Vinson of the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department says that loud car stereos comprise one of the highest complaint categories in Augusta.

However, after attempting to acquire the figures himself, Vinson said the department’s records division could not provide the data to accurately support that claim.

“I can tell you that it’s one of the biggest complaints we get in the county of Richmond,” Vinson said. “Every neighborhood watch meeting that I go to, and I attend quite a few, one of the most oftensaid complaints is loud music.”

Vinson said most of that loud music is coming from cars.

Richmond County deputies don’t give breaks to offending vehicles, either.

While complaints about loud music coming from a home or apartment are first dealt with by giving the offender a warning, drivers of boom cars are cited

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Mike Wheelis installing loud stereos in his vehicles more than a decade ago while living out West, said it’s all about moderation.

“I’ve been doing this for 10 or 11 years and I’ve got a stereo in my car that’s loud compared to what a lot of people have got,” Arrasmith said. “You know, I ride around in the daytime, going down the road, I’ll turn it up, but I don’t go down neighborhoods and out till 2 or 3 in the morning with it blaring.

Everything’s got a place and a time.”

Wheelis points out that even a factoryinstalled stereo, without the amplifier and large speakers, could still be heard 100 feet away if the owner turned up the volume enough. continued on page 24

“To me, it’s (the playing of loud car stereos) just a violation of personal sanctity. It’s trespassing onto my personal property and robbing quiet out of my home.”

Mark Huber, spokesman for Noise Free America, a Virginia-based, grassroots organization whose goal is to quell boom cars and other forms of noisome annoyance.

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C

Parrots, Macaws & Cockatoos

without being given a second chance, Vinson said.

That, in part, is because in the past, vehicular offenders — given their mobile nature — typically were receiving several warnings in the same day from different patrol areas, Vinson said.

Georgia state statutes allow for the driver of a vehicle to be cited for a noise violation if the stereo can be heard from 100 feet away. A Richmond County ordinance cuts that distance to 50 feet, but Vinson said he encourages his deputies to go by the distance set by the state to make a stronger case in the event it comes to court.

Wheelis and John Arrasmith, manager of Innovative Audio, both think law enforcement is too harsh on boom cars.

Arrasmith, a 28-year-old who first began

23

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Maj. Larry Vinson RCSD continued from page 23 “It’s got its place. I don’t think they need to be messing with the kids as much as they do, especially on the weekends, like on Washington Road and things like that,” Arrasmith added. “But when they go off on the side roads and into neighborhoods, yeah, I see absolutely nothing wrong with pulling them over and giving them a ticket then.”

While groups like Noise Free America have proposed legislation to curb loud stereos, Wheelis said that would be a mistake.

“If they (those opposing boom cars) knew how many stereo shops are in America … They employ a lot of people,” Wheelis said. “Most of them have four or five employees, at least.

Here in Augusta, there’s 10 shops and at least 100 people employed by stereo equipment. You know, they crack down on it, five of them shops close down, that’s 50 people unemployed.”

But Huber says that problem lays squarely on the industry’s shoulders.

“Actually, it’s a very, very foolish business plan to develop and promote a product that is designed to disturb the peace, to market that product to the lowest common denominator of human behavior, which is aggressive,” Huber said.

Huber, a phone company technician in Richmond, Va., pointed to the tendency of many car stereo manufacturers to market their products as loud and offensive in a way that makes those characteristics cool or hip.

For instance, the ad slogan for Sony’s “Xplod” car stereo system was, “Disturb the Peace.”

“What they’re (car stereo companies) doing is just ... making it louder, selling more amps and more speakers, when these engineers that they hire from MIT, they should be developing technology that would produce a quality sound

within the driver’s compartment at safe levels and as little as possible outside,” Huber said. “But they are developing and promoting a product that, when used, is loud enough to cover up the sound of emergency vehicles in the driver’s compartment and rattle china in someone’s house 100 yards away.”

Even Wheelis and Arrasmith acknowledge that the stereos can be annoying.

“Even in my house at night, around the neighborhood, you’ll hear them riding down the street,” Arrasmith said. “At 11 o’clock at night, I don’t like it. In the middle of the daytime, you know, you don’t always want to hear it, but it’s a little different in the daytime.”

“I can’t stand sometimes when people (in boom cars) pull up beside me,” Wheelis said. “But I mean, I don’t say nothing to them. That’s what makes my money. And if they were to do something to outlaw it or make it illegal and crack down on people, and people quit spending their money, there’s going to be a lot of people that are going to be hurting.”

Even so, Vinson said his department will continue to enforce noise ordinances on boom cars with vigilance.

“A lot of people in Richmond County are upset,” Vinson said. “They feel like no cases are being made or not enough.

And I agree. There’s probably not enough. It needs to be dealt with every time we hear it.”

Vinson said he has yet to understand why people don’t simply turn it down.

“I wish I knew the answer. I think it’s a status symbol. It’s the ‘in’ thing to do that,” Vinson said. “There are just people who think there is just absolutely nothing wrong with it. They say, ‘I bought it; it’s mine.’ And they don’t understand that I wouldn’t want to force my music on anybody and I don’t want theirs forced on me.

“I mean I hate it. I really do.”

25

MCG Community Education Calendar

December 2002

M E T R O S P I R I T

For additional information, directions to class locations or to register, call 706-721-CARE (2273) or 1-800-736-CARE. You may also visit our website at MCGHealth.org.

D E C 5

Special Events

Family Health

Christmas in Augusta - Holiday Ornament Sale

Quit Smoking with the American Cancer Society’s Freshstart Program Wednesdays 10 a.m.

A collectible series of limited edition ornaments benefiting the Children’s Medical Center are on sale now. Help support the Children’s Medical Center by purchasing the 2002 ornament featuring the historic Springfield Baptist Church.

Order by calling or visiting the website.

Immunization Update Course Thursday, December 12 Noon–5 p.m.

Course for physicians, nurses and medical staff members. Lunch will be provided; registration is required.

Children’s Medical Center Conference Center First Floor, BT 1810

Free LASIK Seminar Tuesday, December 17 11:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m.

MCG Eye Care Associates is hosting a seminar for people wanting to learn more about LASIK at MCG. MCG Terrace Dining Room, 2nd Floor

Education and support for individuals as they quit smoking.

MCG Family Medicine Conference Room 1134

Parenting and Childbirth Education OB Tours Thursday, December 5 5:30–6:30 p.m.

Meet at Concierge's Desk on the 7th floor of MCG Hospital.

Breast-feeding Class Monday, December 9 7–9 p.m.

Children’s Medical Center Conference Center First Floor

Infant CPR Tuesday, December 17 7–9 p.m.

Project LINK Lecture Series Tuesday, December 3 6:30–8 p.m.

“How to Work Through the Individualized Education Program Process” (the school planning process for children with disabilities) with Jean Estes, Staff Attorney for the Georgia Advocacy Office.

Children’s Medical Center Conference Center First Floor

SIBSHOPS Saturday, December 14 10 a.m.–1 p.m.

A program for siblings of children with special health and developmental needs. $5 Children’s Medical Center Conference Center First Floor

Wee Wisdom Every Wednesday 12–1 p.m.

Educational program for parents of children under 5; call for schedule.

Children’s Medical Center Family Resource Library First Floor

For new or expectant parents who want to learn the valuable skill of CPR. Children’s Medical Center Conference Center First Floor

All classes are offered to the community free of charge unless otherwise noted.

Holiday Ornaments to Benefit the Children’s Medical Center on Sale Now!

Support Groups MCG Breast Cancer Support Group First Thursday of each month 7–8:30 p.m.

Education and support for individuals with breast cancer.

MCG Day Surgery Procedure Waiting Room

Children/Teen Support Group First Thursday of each month 7–8:30 p.m.

For children and teens with a mother, significant other or family member dealing with breast cancer.

MCG Student Center

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26 M E T R O

Slouching Toward T O Y L A N D

S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

By Roger Naylor

R

emember the terrorist attacks? They were all over the news, happened sometime last September.

Remember? We were numb for a while, and then we vowed to change our priorities once and for all and focus on what’s truly important in life.

But that was before we discovered deepfried Twinkies and “American Idol” and the “Anna Nicole Show” and we were totally going to vote in that midterm election but by then we were caught up in the Winona trial. Now it’s just over a year since the World Changed Forever and we’re planted in the same couch groove except it’s wider and deeper, more like a couch canyon, but if we don’t buy and fry the Twinkies the terrorists win, right?

So we learn a valuable lesson: Priorities are hard to change. That’s probably why they became priorities in the first place.

Now it’s the holiday season. That means the kids will want toys. Doesn’t matter that our 401(k) is gutted, we’re one swiped stapler from being canned and we’re gearing up for yet another freakin’ war; innocent hearts won’t be denied at this magical time of year. Children will scramble down the stairs early Christmas morn hoping to find the must-have toy of the season.

Well here’s a suggestion for the youngsters: Blow it out your tiny butts. You’re not the boss of us.

Maybe we can’t change our own priorities but we can reshape our offspring.

Kids aren’t hardwired for priorities yet.

Act now and we can steer them down a more spiritual path, one not dominated by fads, trends and materialistic lust. They’ll thank us for our selfless parental courage

later. Or they’ll gobble Ritalin like Skittles while sobbing uncontrollably to their therapists. Either way we save some coins this Christmas.

Let’s look at a few of the hot toys this holiday season and some possible less expensive options.

Rapunzel Barbie: How utterly groundbreaking! It’s Barbie but with slightly different hair. The geniuses at Mattel have done it again! Forget it. This plastic princess has skanked her way into our wallets too many times. Go to Goodwill,

score a castoff Barbie, then bobby pin that hair wad from the shower drain to her head. Everybody wins.

LEGO Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Playset: With this 591-piece set, kids can build the Hogwarts dungeon.

One drawback: It retails for $69.99! But there are other popular movies besides “Harry Potter.” For a fraction of the cost your kids can have Eminem and the Trailer of 8 Mile Playset, containing 26,456 scraps of razor-sharp sheet metal.

Your child can build a life-size replica of

Now it’s the holiday season. That means the kids will want toys. Doesn’t matter that our 401(k) is gutted, we’re one swiped stapler from being canned and we’re gearing up for yet another freakin’ war; innocent hearts won’t be denied at this magical time of year.

the doublewide where Eminem and his slutty mom lived, and unlock the wonders of a dead-end white trash existence. Keep plenty of Bactine and bandages on hand during assembly.

Chicken Dance Elmo: Obviously, Elmo has fallen hard from the heights of his “Tickle Me” fame. Now his behavior, like a brain-damaged uncle at a wedding reception, indicates he suffers from a serious substance abuse problem. Sad. If you’re looking to deliver a message on the evils of addiction, consider Urine Soaked Nolte instead.

Paint-Your-Own Chair: I swear. From Curiosity Kits, retailing for $35 and recommended for ages 6 and up. This is hot on the heels of their wildly successful Unclog-Your-Own Toilet and RefinishYour-Own Hardwood Floors. No need to waste money on a licensed contractor when you’ve got toddlers and power tools.

Retro Trends: Care Bears are back.

There’s also a 25th anniversary edition of Trivial Pursuit and special 50th anniversary Matchbox cars. But if you’re going old school, go all the way. Give your kids a stick. Kids love sticks. And whether it’s poking a corpse they find near the river or jabbing through the bars at zoo animals, nothing does the job like a stick.

Spiderman Action Figure: The wallcrawler’s a flash in the pan. Go for something with proven longevity, like a Larry King Action Figure. He comes with pontificating power and detachable suspenders. Pull his string and he speaks on a wide range of subjects, with only the earliest signs of dementia evident.

27 M E T R O S P I R I T

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Win A DVD Player!

Service Pampering Day! Saturday, January 11th, 8am-5pm

Visit www.DrivewithDwayne.com to register to win a DVD Player. Drawing to be held at Saturn of Augusta on December 14th at 2 p.m.

See The Newly Designed 2003 Saturn L-Series On Display At The Augusta Golf & Gardens!

This downtown attraction, Augusta Golf & Gardens...

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Visit Omni Health and Fitness at 3637 Walton Way to see the 2003 L200. While you are there, register to win an 18-month membership to the Omni West location. There will be 4 winners from December through March!

Come to Saturn of Augusta to get your vehicle serviced, and enjoy a pampering extravaganza! Chair massages from Hand Over Stress, facials, makeovers, f i t n e s s i n f o r m a t i o n & demonstrations, body fat testing, nutrition information, door prizes, refreshments and more!

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D E C 5 2 0 0 2

28 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

Arts

& Entertainment

The Ballet World in a Nut(cracker) Shell

T

homas Shoemaker, ballet master of Augusta Ballet, has performed “The Nutcracker” over 600 times. Two hundred of those have been in the role you will see him in this year, the Cavalier.

“I was doing the numbers in the shower,” he said. Somehow he knew we’d ask that question. “And I’ve danced it with 13 different partners. Ericka’s lucky number 13.”

By that time the Sugar Plum Fairy, Ericka Shannon, had made herself as comfortable as possible in Tom’s tiny dressing room at The Imperial Theatre.

“So this is your first Sugar Plum Fairy,” Tom asked her. “Are you nervous?”

Technically, the two have known each other for years. Once upon a time, Ericka was a young child taking her first ballet steps under Tom’s guidance in Atlanta. He was twentysomething at the time. Now she’s twentysomething and a professional dancer.

He laughed at the notion that they have “known each other” so long. “We ‘met.’ It’s not like we formally introduced ourselves.

‘Hi, I’m Tom Shoemaker.’ It was more like, ‘There’s the teacher. Stand up straight.’”

He is more apt to count their history as far back as Ericka’s signing on with Augusta Ballet a year and a half ago.

Asked if she found it strange or nervewracking or odd or interesting in any way to find herself frequently partnered with the teacher she’d studied under as a child, she laughed. “I don’t know ... The dance world is odd. Weird things happen.”

Tom said it’s pretty commonplace for dancers to cross paths several times during the span of their careers, since the dance world is so small, and that some of them are bound to be former students or teachers.

time when sandbags were used, and that a whistle was the signal to drop one. So frivolous whistling meant that someone was liable to get bonked on the head.

“Girls have some of the weirdest ones,” he said, which brought a dramatic gasp from Ericka.

“We do not!” she protested, and then agreed that there are girls who have pointe-shoe issues. Depending on whom you talk to, you can’t put them on the dressing table, or if you do, they have to be in a certain position.

“If you move their shoes around on the table,” he said, “they get all freaky.”

Another shoe ritual has to do with what to use in, on and around them to improve performance. Dancers will often get attached to one particular substance, be it rosin or hairspray or what have you, and bad things can happen if that particular thing isn’t available.

“That can set up a frenzy,” he said.

But how do you handle the “good luck” problem? Of course, you can’t go around wishing performers good luck. That would be bad luck.

One accepted way of wishing a dancer well is saying, “toi-toi-toi.” Tom said it has something to do with a European tradition of kissing cheeks and spitting over the person’s shoulders. But since spitting might just make you a social outcast, “toi-toi-toi” has become an acceptable approximation.

Of course, you can always just say, “Merde!” In French, it means something unpleasant and smelly. In the American dance world, it means luck.

Some dancers, Tom said, give each other high fives or hit knuckles as they pass, while others retreat into their own head space.

“Some people don’t like to make eye contact or verbalize before going onstage. They’re already in their element.”

How To Wish a Dancer ‘Good Luck’ Well you can’t say “break a leg” to a dancer as you would an actor, that’s for sure.

Dancers as a group do tend to be superstitious, Tom said.

And different dancers approach their superstitions in different ways. Some superstitions are rituals that an individual has developed over time, but some stretch farther back.

“Some are as old as the theatre itself,” Tom said. For instance, he said, “You don’t whistle onstage.” He thinks that may be from a

Bunhead-ism and Other Job Hazards I asked the two if they were dancers around the clock, even if they were nowhere near a stage or studio. Ericka’s reaction was very close to “No way!” though she said that many dancers, usually young ones, do go through a period of living for their art.

“In our profession,” Tom said regally, “we have bunheads.”

He explained that the name comes from the hairstyle worn by young female dancers.

“They become so wrapped up in dance, that

BY RHONDA JONES

there is an unhealthy balance between real life and the dance life.”

“We can all teeter there so easily,” Ericka said.

They seemed to agree that there is an irony in that approach to dance, and to life, because one needs the other to thrive.

“The moment you allow real life to affect your work,” Tom said, “that comes out in your art and makes you a better performer.

And you see it. It’s palpable.”

Head-trips aren’t the only dangers of the dancing profession, though. It’s an athletic pursuit, and as a result, dancers have a catalogue of injuries that rival those of any football player.

“It’s not unusual for dancers to have some sort of (anti) inflammatory for breakfast,” he said. “The older you get, the more of a cripple you are in the morning.” He uses a whirlpool and wears calf supports because of all the tiny tears his calf muscles have been subjected to over the years.

Torn rotator cuffs and back problems are a danger for men because they’ve made a career of lifting women into the air. Women have special problems associated with carrying their weight on the tips of their toes, such as ingrown toenails and callouses and other

foot conditions. Leg problems are pretty popular among both sexes. Men’s valuables are often placed in the line of fire during lifts and women can be dropped.

And have been.

I wondered if the knowledge that such a dire thing can happen ever tempted Ericka to run screaming from her chosen profession. “I don’t know. I’ve never personally been scared of things. But they used to toss me around as a child,” she said. She laughed. “I never got scared.”

Tom elaborated. “Lifts are the sort of thing ... once you’ve done them before, there’s no fear of the unknown.”

That is, he added, if you’ve never experienced a bad partner. “There are a lot of men out there who don’t know how to partner,” he said. And if a dancer has ever experienced one of those, she may have trouble letting go and allowing a capable partner to do his job.

But, with two capable, unblocked dancers, Tom said, “It’s all a matter of timing.

Anything can happen.”

“And usually does,” Ericka said.

Augusta Ballet will perform “The Nutcracker” at The Imperial Theatre, Dec. 68 and 13-15. Tickets range from $12-$36.

Call (706) 261-0555 for showtimes.

Dance

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2002 Mobile Tour ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Toy Drop Off Locations ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★★

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December 5th

3-7pm

Kroger (North Augusta)

December 8th

1-3pm

Bi-Lo (Tobacco Rd.)

December 8th

5-7pm

Bi-Lo (Daniel Village)

December 12th

3-7pm

Winn-Dixie (Robert C. Daniel Pkwy.)

December 13th

5-7pm

Regal Cinemas (Augusta Exchange 20)

December 17th

3-7pm

Bi-Lo (Columbia Rd.) (Evans)

A Child’s World (All 4 locations)

News 12

Bourne Toyota

Papa Johns Pizza

Communigraphics

Regal Cinemas Augusta Exchange 20

GLW Philly Cheesesteaks (Aiken)

Rowland Funeral Home

Gymnastics Gold

Ruby Tuesdays (North Augusta)

IGA Food Stores

Shepeard Blood Centers

Lite 98

Talbots

Medical College of Ga.

AAA Travel Agency

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

30 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

Arts: Theater

Russian Quartet To Perform at ASU

W

hen I first learned the St. Petersburg String Quartet were coming to town, I thought they were coming all the way from Florida.

Heh. Shows what I know. They’re actually coming from Ohio.

The group formerly known as the Leningrad Quartet have spent the last four years there, at Oberlin Conservatory of Music as the quartet-in-residence.

Formed in 1985, the group was once called the String Quartet of the Leningrad Conservatory, after their alma mater. After racking up prizes in prestigious Russian musical contests, and being invited to tour the country, as well as tour other countries, they won the right to call themselves the Leningrad String Quartet in 1989.

Two years later, the famed Russian city changed its name to St. Petersburg, and the quartet’s name changed once again.

It’s the last time, says first violinist Alla Aranovskaya. She laughs, however, because their name seems to be getting ever shorter. Their agent, she said, who lives in California, simply calls them the St. Pete Quartet.

Aranovskaya likes it.

And of course, we couldn’t have a conversation with a talented Russian national without asking about her hometown, a place of cultural wonders, a Never-Land of art and architecture.

Celebrating a City “It’s the most beautiful city in the world,” she said breathlessly. “We have about five million population just in the city. It’s big. And we have large avenues, a large river and beautiful buildings.”

The reason for her city’s beauty, she said, is careful planning. “It was not built house by house. It was planned. Peter the Great had a plan,” she said, which involved talented architects.

If you look up St. Petersburg at http://www.cityvision2000.com/ you will begin to see why Aranovskaya is so in love with the city. It’s the sort of place a pre-colonial adventurer would have spent the rest of his life talking about. It has been called “the Venice of the North.” Its skyline prickles with steeples of grand buildings, and art museums there are nothing less than palaces.

And it boasts also the Rimsky-Korsakov school and the St. Petersburg State Conservatory, where all four current members of the 18-year-old Quartet studied. They have had a few personnel changes during the group’s life, the most recent being second violinist Matvey Lapin.

“Actually when we changed the person ... We have (had) nobody from Moscow, never,” she said emphatically, with the same allegiance one would expect to see in a sports fan.

She said, though, that they weren’t trying to keep out Moscow musicians, but that the St. Petersburg players just seem to work

By Rhonda Jones

out better. There is a difference, she said, in the two cities’ approaches to music.

“We have a very good music school there,” she said of St. Petersburg. “You know, what can I say? They may be more sensitive, pay more attention to the ideas of the music.”

The Moscow school prefers that its students display more technical proficiency, Aranovskaya said. “But for me it’s much more cold. Sometimes they’re perfect technically, but sometimes musically it doesn’t touch me.”

On May 27, she said, St. Petersburg will be 300 years old, and the quartet is planning to celebrate the entire year beginning in February, with concerts all over the country.

This country, unfortunately for them.

They have just received an invitation to perform in Ann Arbor. Aranovskaya said the Michigan city is planning an entire program to celebrate the anniversary. “So many cities in the United States are going to do that,” she said.

St. Petersburg’s own celebration will involve a smorgasbord of cultural events and a host of dignitaries from all over the world. Online, there are several Web sites with information on the celebration which will involve restoration projects, outreach projects for needy children, cultural festivals and, of course, sporting events.

The quartet are hoping to make it home around the middle of June to help their friends and family in the festivities.

Super-Supreme CD With Extra Toppings Aranovskaya said that the group’s Web site at www.stpetersburgquartet.com has all the usual information, with repertoire, photos and musician biographies, but there is something a little extra also.

While it is possible to purchase any of the group’s dozen professionally recorded studio CDs, you also have the option of mixing your own set of live selections.

It’s kind of like ordering a pizza.

She emphasizes, however, that these particular recordings are not the smoothsounding albums that can be found on the discography page. But if you attended a particular concert and you liked the way the quartet performed, say, the third movement of the “Tchaikovsky Quartet No. 3, Op. 30 in E-flat minor” at their Dec. 3, 2000 Troy, N.Y., concert, just slap it on your order form and you can get it on your customized CD. The selections appear on a checklist with a box that tells you how much disc space you have left.

You start with just under an hour and 10 minutes. The entire package, including shipping and handling, costs $26.95.

The menu lists three Tchaikovsky quartets, two Haydn string quartets, two Dvoraks, a Mozart and a Beethoven.

These are from concerts spanning the globe from May 1999 until May 2001.

Their studio discs reveal that the St. Petersburg Quartet like Shostakovich very

much, apparently. Exactly half of their recordings have been of his work. And one of them, “Shostakovich: Quartet Nos. 1, 5 and 7,” released by Sony Classical, was even nominated for a Grammy Award. In fact, their repertoire includes the complete cycle of 15 Shostakovich quartets, according to their Web site.

Aranovskaya's colleagues are second violinist Matvey Lapin, who was born in St. Petersburg in 1969, and is currently completing his doctorate at St. Petersburg Conservatory. On the viola is Aleksey Koptev, who was born in 1973. In addition to his studies in St. Petersburg, he was awarded a full scholarship to study at the North Carolina School of the Arts, and in 1998 he won a scholarship to study at Indiana University School of Music.

Cellist Leonid Shukaev has played in various ensembles, including the St. Petersburg Trio, before striking out for the United States. Some of his own students have gone on to win competitions and make a living with their instruments.

The St. Petersburg Quartet will appear in Augusta under the auspices of the Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society.

(It won’t be their first time and, in fact Aranovskaya was saddened to learn of Dr. Jacobs’ passing.) The concert will take place at the Grover C. Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre on the campus of Augusta State University at 8 p.m.

Friday, Dec. 13. The program will include works by Haydn, Glazunov and Tchaikovsky. There will be a pre-concert performance at 7:15 by The Augusta Collegium Musicum, directed

by William Toole. Tickets are available at the door at $15 general admission; $5 for students. ASU students and faculty get in free.

Handel With Care and Other Musical Offerings No, there’s not an actual event called “Handel With Care,” but sometimes you just can’t pass up the word-play. On Dec. 12, it will be time to revisit that old holiday favorite, George Friederic Handel’s “The Messiah,” at Sacred Heart Community Center at 8 p.m. I’m sure the Augusta Choral Society will (ahem) handle the great composer’s work with care, just the same.

Tickets are $18 general admission, $15 for seniors and students. For information, call (706) 826-4713, e-mail info@augustachoralsociety.org or visit their Web site at www.augustachoralsociety.org.

Dec. 14 brings the Augusta Jazz Project Chamber Jazz concert to the Unitarian Church on Walton Way Extension at 8 p.m.

General admission is $15, student tix are $5 and groups of 10 or more pay $10 each. To order tickets for this and other Augusta Jazz Project events, call (706) 651-8712 or e-mail tickets@augustajazz.com.

Backtrack a few days to Dec. 9, and also back to the Grover C. Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre on the campus of Augusta State University. At 7 p.m., the Augusta Concert Band will play. Tickets are available at the door: $6 general admission, $3 for seniors, students and military personnel.

On an interesting note, Dec. 9 will be the first time the Augusta Concert Band performs without its longtime leader, Dr. Alan Drake, who also heads the Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society. (He’s not giving up that one.)

He is handing over the position to Ben Easter, interim director.

If you would like to see the longtime conductor’s last stand, head on over Dec. 8 to the Empty Stocking Fund Benefit Concert at the First Baptist Church on Walton Way at 4 p.m. For info on Augusta Concert Band, call (803) 202-0091.

31

Experience Christmas at New Hope Worship Center

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5

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At Augusta Golf Art and Custom Framing, we carry the largest selection of collegiate, golf and southern art in the southeast.

Work by such artists as Stan Joel Strickland, Roberta Wesley, Alann West, Jim Booth, Annie Mohler, Sandra Roper, R. Baird (Augusta) and Douglas London (Golf). Plus UGA, Ga. Tech, Clemson & USC photos, prints and lithographs.

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You will find an array of gifts including hayrack planters, beautiful garden accessories, wind chimes, gardener gift sets and more. Remember Bedfords for holiday decorations as well. We offer poinsettias in all colors and sizes, wreaths, amaryllis and paperwhite bulbs too. Come see us and you are sure to find something to help brighten the season.

Remember gift certificates are available too!

1023 Oleander Drive, Augusta 733-2269 Open Monday-Saturday 8-5 Washington Road to Woodbine Drive at St. Mark UMC, turn at second left - Redbird, left at second stop sign - Bedford, right at next street Oleander

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Friday, January 3 vs.

Greenville

724-4423 D E C E M B E R P R O M OT I O N S Dec. 7 - Martial Arts Night, MCG/Health Inc. Night Tae Kwon Do at Intermission Dec. 8 - MCG/Health Inc. Night Family Fun Day: Fingerprinting for Children & ID Badge, Coke Family Fun Zone Toys for Tots Dec. 14 - Government Employee Night Christmas House, Teddy Toss Dec. 27 - New Year's Party 3

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Visit The Gathering - a new coffee shop at the Verandah

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The

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8

Days A Week

Arts

Auditions “THE MUSIC MAN” AUDITIONS held Dec. 5 and 7 by ASU Theatre and Opera Workshop. Auditions will be conducted in the Fine Ar ts Building on the ASU campus Dec. 5 at 7 p.m. and Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-noon and 13 p.m. High school and adult roles being cast at these audtion dates; childrens’ audtions will be at a later date. Be prepared to sing (accompanist provided) and read from the script. For more information, contact Linda Banister, 667-4876, or Carolyn Cope, 737-1500.

“THE LAR AMIE PROJECT” OPEN AUDITIONS Dec. 5, 5 p.m. in the O’Connell Theatre at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. Roles available for four men and four women ages 18 and up. Per formance dates are Feb. 12-16. Please have a 1-2 minute monologue prepared. Call (803) 641-3305.

AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments. Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 202-0091 or e-mail bandforaugusta@aol.com.

SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. Held at 600 Mar tintown Road in Nor th Augusta. Contact Mildred Blain at 736-7740 or Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART APPLICATIONS FOR TUITION ASSISTANCE are being accepted now through Dec. 20. Scholarships are available for the Winter Quar ter, Jan. 7-March 6. To request an application form, call 722-5495 or e-mail ghia@ghia.org.

CER AMICS CLASSES at the Weeks Center Ceramics House in Aiken. Fees include one class per week and students can choose any class time: Mondays, 9 a.m. to noon or 6-9 p.m.; Tuesdays, 6-9 p.m.; or Wednesdays, 9 a.m. to noon. $30 per month. Call (803) 642-7631 for info.

USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGR AM now open. Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288.

Exhibitions PHOTOGR APHY BY GINNY SOUTHWORTH will be on display through Jan. 13 at the Aiken Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame and Museum. For information, call (803) 642-7650.

NORMA MCCOMBS will exhibit her paintings at the Gibbs Librar y in December. For information, call 863-1946.

AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART: “Charleston in My Time: The Paintings of West Fraser” are on display through Jan. 5; “Rituals: Works on Paper by Romare Bearden” will be on display through Jan. 5 in the museum’s Coggins Gallery. For information, call 724-7501.

THE WORK OF HEATHER CRIST will be on display at Cloud Nine Gallery, 1036 Broad Street, through December’s First Friday. For more information, call Heather Crist Designs at 951-1661.

AT THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART: “Walker-Mackenzie Studio First Anniversary Exhibit: Student Accomplishments Throughout the Year” is in the First-Floor Gallery at Ware’s Folly through Dec. 19; “If Walls Could Talk” is in the Third-Floor Gallery at Ware’s Folly through Dec. 19. “Ger trude Herber t Youth and Adult Student Exhibit” runs through Dec. 19; “Ware’s Folly: An Architectural Perspective” is in the First-Floor Gallery at Ware’s Folly through Feb. 21.

Call 722-5495 for more information.

Dance SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5 for members, $7 for non-members, and are available at the door. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376.

Music STRINGS OF HOPE BENEFIT CONCERT featuring Eryn Eubanks and The Family Fold Dec. 7, 7 p.m. at the Harrisburg Family Life Center on the corner of Eve and Fenwick Streets. Free and open to the public.

THE ST. PETERSBURG STRING QUARTET per forms Dec. 13 as par t of the Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society 2002-2003 season and as par t of ASU’s Lyceum Series. Concer t begins at 8 p.m. in the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. For information, please call 737-1609.

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

DAVIDSON FINE ARTS EXHIBITION through Dec. 30 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

JOHN BRECHT displays works at the Etherredge Center Lower Gallery through Dec. 20. (803) 641-3305.

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The Morris Museum of Art hosts the works of West Fraser through Jan. 5.

COMMUNITY HEALING MEDITATION DRUMMING CIRCLE hosted every third Monday of the month by IDRUM2U, the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio. Held 7-9 p.m. at the G.L. Jackson Conference Center, 1714 Nor th Leg Cour t. Fee is $5 or a donation of canned goods for the Golden Harvest Food Bank. All are welcome and drums will be available to rent. For info, phone the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio, 228-3200.

Theater “LIFT UP YOUR HEARTS, AMERICA” patriotic musical and spoken word show Dec. 6-7 at For t Gordon Dinner Theatre. Open to the public. Tickets are $30 general public, $28 senior citizens (65 and over), $25 enlisted (grades E4 and under). Call 793-8552 for reservations.

“FIVE WOMEN WEARING THE SAME DRESS” Dec. 68 and 13-15. Tickets are $15 adult, $10 seniors, students and matinee shows, $35 for grand dinner buf fet shows and $25 for matinee with English high tea.

Presented by the Augusta Theatre Company and held at the Bon Air Ballroom. Call 481-9040 or visit www.augustatheatre.com for tickets.

NOW ON SALE: Tickets for “Les Miserables” Feb. 1116 at the Bell Auditorium; tickets for “South Pacific,” Jan. 2 at the Bell Auditorium. Call TicketMaster at 8287700 or visit www.ticketmaster.com.

RICHMOND COUNTY ORCHESTR A per forms Dec. 1011, 7:30 p.m., at the ASU Per forming Ar ts Theatre.

Free. For more information, call 651-3529 (day time) or 738-4681 (evening).

Attractions

TUESDAY’S MUSIC LIVE CONCERT SERIES: All performances in the concer t series held at noon at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Concer ts are free; optional catered lunch is $7 per person. 2002-2003 season schedule is as follows: Jan. 7, Jazzamatazz; Jan. 21, Joseph Gramley; Feb. 4, Lindsey McKee and Keith Shafer; Feb. 18, Cowboy Envy; March 4, The Augusta Children’s Chorale; March 18, Kari Gaf fney and Jef f Williams. 722-3463.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presby terian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only.

Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages five and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions.

Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

FORT DISCOVERY/NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 270 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Half-price admission daily af ter 3 p.m.

Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 8271473. 181 Redclif fe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTUR AL CENTER is of fering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m.

Riverwalk. Free. 724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2;

58 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

The Augusta Opera Holiday Concert Dec. 10 in Aiken features an appearance by the Augusta Children’s Chorale. Call 826-4710 for information. senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Museums

Special Events

AT THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY: “Augusta, Ga.: Surviving Disaster” special exhibit on display through Dec. 31. December’s film is “Augusta Remembers.” For more information, call 722-8454.

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history.

For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street.

Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta.

Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m.

Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

Main Street. All proceeds will be used in the Restoring Trinity campaign. (803) 637-3091.

JONATHAN MARCANTONI performs “The Mad Poet” at Borders Books and Music Dec. 8, 7-8 p.m., and Dec. 20, 5-6 p.m. For more information, call Borders, 737-6962.

DRUNK AND DRUGGED DRIVING PREVENTION DAY WORKSHOP 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Dec. 5 at Paine College’s Peters Campus Center. Hosted by the Paine College Georgia Institute of Highway Safety’s P.E.A.C.E. program. For more information, call NeCole Roberson, 432-0947.

BUSINESS AFTER HOURS BASH Dec. 19, 5:30 p.m., at Holiday Inn West. Tickets are $10 at the door. Call the Augusta Metro and Columbia County Chamber of Commerce at 821-1300 for information.

ISLAMIC FAST-BREAKING CELEBR ATION Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at W.T. Johnson Parks and Recreation Center. Sponsored by the American Society of Muslims in Augusta and features games, ar ts and craf ts, lunch, prizes and gif ts for all children. Open to the public. For more information, contact Imam Talib Shareef, 481-8007 or 373-9773.

BOOK SIGNINGS Dec. 7 at Borders Books and Music: Dr. Owings signs “Drowning in Shallow Water” from noon to 2 p.m.; Steve Brown signs his American war stories and Susan Chase mysteries from 2-5 p.m. and 7-9 p.m. Call 737-6962.

AUGUSTA AUTHOR ROBERT GR ANT discusses his book “American Ethics and the Vir tuous Citizen” Dec. 11, 6 p.m., at Friedman Branch Library. Free and open to the public. Call 736-6758 for information.

DECEMBER FILM FESTIVAL Tuesdays at Headquar ters Library. Dec. 10 showing of “Chocolat”; Dec. 17 showing of “It’s a Wonder ful Life.” All films star t at 6:30 p.m. Call 821-2600.

TRINITY TOUR OF HOMES Dec. 6-7 in Edgefield.

Candlelit tour Dec. 6, 5-9 p.m.; tour hours for Dec. 7 are 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tickets are $10 and may be purchased at the Joanne T. Rainsford Discovery Center on

Playhouse - DEMO SALE

The Chenille Sisters are in town for three performances this weekend: Dec. 6 at the Etherredge Center, Dec. 7 at Bell Auditorium and Dec. 8 at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre.

AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: Swamp Saturday Dec. 7, 9:30 a.m.; Phinizy Swamp Nature Park CleanUp Day, 10 a.m.-noon Dec. 14. For information, call 828-2109.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz of f Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues. through Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

Out of Town GEORGIA LAWYERS FOR THE ARTS DECEMBER WORKSHOPS AND SEMINARS: “Copyright Basics for Ar tists: Protecting Your Rights” Dec. 5, 3-5 p.m.; free legal clinic Dec. 12, 2-5 p.m.; “How to Star t a 501(c)(3)” Dec. 17, noon-3:30 p.m. Held at the Bureau of Cultural Af fairs, City Hall East in Atlanta.

Call (404) 873-3911 for more information and to register.

“FOR THIS WORLD AND BEYOND: AFRICAN ART FROM THE FRED AND RITA RICHMAN COLLECTION” Dec. 18-May 25 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta.

Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for info.

TICKETS FOR “VAREKAI,” a production by the Cirque du Soleil, go on sale Dec. 8. Shows are March 6-30 at Cumberland Galleria in Atlanta. Visit www.cirquedusoleil.com for more information.

POTTERS’ MARKET SHOW Dec. 6-7, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. at Stoneware Bison Company Farm near Columbia, S.C. For more information, call (803) 794-3620 or visit www.pot tersmarket.com.

“DEFINING CR AFT I: COLLECTING FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM” exhibit at the Columbia Museum of Ar t in Columbia, S.C., Dec. 7-Feb. 23. For more information, call the museum at (803) 799-2810 or visit www.columbiamuseum.org.

LOW-COST R ABIES VACCINATIONS: AugustaRichmond County Animal Control holds low-cost rabies vaccination clinics the four th Sunday of every month for privately owned pets. $8 per animal. 1 p.m. at Superpetz. Dogs must be on a leash and cats in a carrier. Puppies and kit tens must be three months old and current for all vaccinations. Schedule subject to change, so please call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

“PARIS IN THE AGE OF IMPRESSIONISM: MASTERWORKS FROM THE MUSEE D’ORSAY” will be at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta now through March 16.

This exhibition marks the first time since the Orsay opened that pieces in its collection have traveled to the U.S. For more information, visit www.ParisinAtlanta.org, www.high.org, or call (404) 733-HIGH.

THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

“ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL” will be presented at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta through Dec. 8. $19.50 for Thursday and Sunday shows, $22.50 for Friday shows and $24.50 for Saturday shows. Various discounts available. Optional British pub-style menu available before shows. Call (404) 874-5299 for tickets.

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Fat Man's “Augusta's Christmas Superstore”

RaRacing to the Table propromises to be one of of the hottest gifts of of the year. This “c “culinary tour of sp sporting America” fe features recipes fr from thoroughbred c capitals around the c country, including a a large section on A Aiken. Pick up y your copy today!

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60

Benefits

M E T R MILLION DOLLAR SHOOT-OUT FOR ANIA, sponsored O by the Children’s Organ Transplant Association and S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

Budget Sewer and Drain. Held Dec. 7 at Forrest Hills Golf Club. Tickets are $10 and available from Budget Sewer and Drain, Family Christian Bookstore or by phone at 840-6698.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning WATER SAFETY INSTRUCTION COURSE sponsored by the Augusta Red Cross Dec. 19-29. Course prepares candidates to teach Infant and Preschool Aquatics, the Learn to Swim program, Community Water Safety and Water Safety Instructor Aide courses. Cost is $80. Candidates must be at least 17 years of age and have a current instructor candidate training cer tificate. For more information, or to register, call 724-8483.

WOMEN IN BUSINESS SEMINAR Dec. 17, 11:30 a.m.

Ann Taylor is the speaker. Tickets are $15 at the door or $12 before Dec. 13. Call the Augusta Metro and Columbia County Chamber of Commerce at 821-1300 for information.

BUSINESS PLANNING WORKSHOP presented Dec. 13

by USC-Aiken’s Small Business Development Center.

Held 8:45 a.m.-1 p.m. in Room 140 of the Business and Education Building at USC-Aiken. Registration is required; e-mail SBDC@usca.edu or call (803) 6413646 for information.

“HOW TO USE PINES TO LOOK UP BOOKS” Dec. 17, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 736-6244.

INTRO TO COMPUTERS CLASS Dec. 7, 14 and 21 at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Registration is required; call 793-2020.

AUGUSTA RED CROSS FREE ADULT CPR CLASS 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Dec. 7 at Cur tist Baptist Church Gym. $5 registration fee will be refunded at the end of the class.

Call 724-8483 for more information or to register.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now of fering the following classes: Adobe Illustrator 10, Intermediate Shag II, Intermediate Investing, Digital Photography for Beginners, Adobe Photoshop 7 and more. Also, ASU of fers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION is now of fering the following courses: Microsof t Word, Health Care Careers, Defensive Driving and more. Aiken Tech also of fers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health “SO MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS UP ... BIG DEAL!” WORKSHOP Dec. 12, 2:30 p.m. in Room 2D-114 of the Life Learning Center’s Downtown Division. Free.

Call 733-0188, ex t. 7989 to enroll.

DIABETES SUPPORT GROUP meets Dec. 10 at Doctors Hospital Of fice Building III in Classrooms 4 and 5. Pre-registration is not required. Call 651-2468 or visit www.doctors-hospital.net for info.

PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE of fers free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information.

YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294.

FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street.

Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education.

HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle. Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information.

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Ser vices include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444.

W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee.

Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids BASIC COMPUTER SKILLS FOR YOUNG MINDS Dec. 10, 10-11 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 for information.

ALL AROUND SEATBELT SAFETY with Siobhan Butler Dec. 18, 5-6 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library.

Video and live demonstrations will be presented; children receive instructional coloring books. 736-6758.

AT THE APPLEBY BR ANCH LIBR ARY: Story time with

Local favorites Ben and Keeter host a series of holiday puppet shows at area libraries Dec. 11-12 and 17-18.

Mia-Talia Lowe, Miss Teenage Augusta, Dec. 14, 11 a.m.-noon; Story time with puppets, stories and fingerplays Dec. 18, 10:30-11:15 a.m. and 3:30-4:15 p.m.

Call 736-6244 for more information.

gram is designed for siblings of children with special health and developmental needs. Par ticipants are between the ages of 7 and 15. Phone 721-6838 for information.

CHILDREN’S LEARNING CENTER at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History open Monday-Friday, 4:30-6:30 p.m., through June. For information, call 724-3576.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries.

Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

ACADEMIC HELP AND TUTORING available Saturdays, 2:30-4:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 to make arrangements.

GIRLS INCORPOR ATED AFTER-SCHOOL PROGR AM runs through the end of the 2002-2003 school year. A variety of programs will be of fered. Services include van pick-up at select schools, evening drop-of f, homework room and hot evening meal. Open to girls in kindergar ten through high school. Af ter-school program of fered 2:30-6 p.m. Mon.-Fri. For more information, call 733-2512.

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGR AM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

SIBSHOPS Dec. 14, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the MCG Children’s Medical Center Conference Center. This pro-

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors MEDICATION MANAGEMENT SEMINAR is free and sponsored by The Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Held Dec. 13, 10:15-11:15 a.m., and Dec. 15, 9:30-10:30 a.m. Call 826-4480 for details.

PEOPLE WITH ARTHRITIS CAN EXERCISE (PACE) meets at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-2 p.m. Call 823-5294.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER

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Offering a combination of evening, weekend & distance learning courses.

2743 Perimeter Parkway, Suite 201 Augusta, GA 30909 Next to Sheraton Augusta

706-210-3800 1-866-557-8617

2651 P ERIMETER PARKWAY

S P I R I T D E C

Sponsored by Georgia Council for the Arts, Greater Augusta Arts Council, RedWolf, Inc.

M E T R O

AND THE CSR A of fers a variety of classes, 62 AUGUSTA including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, yoga and

Monday of November at 7 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 7906836 to verify dates and times.

meet 9-9:45 a.m., 10-10:45 a.m. or 12:15-1 p.m. $37.50/month. To register, call 733-5959.

THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Call 261-PETS for more info.

M E pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

T R ARTHRITIS AQUATICS of fered Mondays, Wednesdays O and Fridays at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Classes S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are of fered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Of fice at (803) 641-3563.

Sports UPCOMING AUGUSTA LYNX HOME GAMES: Dec. 7-8, 14 and 27. For tickets, call the Lynx ticket of fice at 724-4423.

TICKETS NOW ON SALE for the Augusta GreenJackets 2003 season. Home games at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Tickets available at www.tixonline.com or by phone at (803) 278-4TIX. There is also a TIX outlet inside Harmon Optical in Southgate Plaza.

YOUTH MONTHLY SPARRING the last Thursday of the month, 5:30 p.m., at the Augusta Boxing Club. Call 733-7533.

Volunteer THE EARNED INCOME TAX CREDIT COALITION CAMPAIGN seeks volunteers to prepare basic ta x returns for low/limited income individuals, those with disabilities, non-English speakers and the elderly. Volunteers receive free training and instruction materials from the IRS. Call the Mayor’s Of fice for Work force Development at 821-1834.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lif t 25 pounds and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ex t. 208.

THOROUGHBRED R ACING HALL OF FAME DOCENTS NEEDED: Duties include opening and closing the Hall of Fame, greeting visitors and providing information about museum exhibits. Call Lisa Hall, (803) 6427650 for information.

OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGR AM is looking for volunteers to serve meals to needy older residents. To volunteer, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480. For those in need of home-delivered meals, call 210-2018 or toll free at 1888-922-4464.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION holds its monthly meeting Dec. 12, 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Tony Roma’s Ribs Restaurant. Meeting is free, but at tendees pay for any items ordered. For information, contact Ed Francis, 650-1254.

AARP CHAPTER 266 meeting, holiday celebration and installation of of ficers Dec. 10, 2-3 p.m. Call The Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA at 826-4480 for more information.

“DATING CLOTHING IN YOUR ANCESTORS’ PHOTOGR APHS” will be the topic of the Dec. 5 meeting of the Augusta Genealogical Society. A narrated slide program will illustrate typical male and female dress of the 19th century. Free and held at 7 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 592-2711 for details.

Weekly GEORGIA-CAROLINA TOASTMASTERS meets Wednesdays at noon at the Clubhouse, 2567 Washington Rd. $8 for lunch; visitors welcome. 860-9854.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. and Saturdays at 7 p.m. at Augusta Counselling Services. Call 723-3688 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church.

Call 868-8431.

BUSINESS NETWORKERS INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. in the Par tridge Inn main dining room. All professionals welcome; break fast provided for a fee. Call Stuar t Rayburn, 737-0050.

RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071.

GUIDELINES: Public Service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fa x (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

Holiday

Happenings

COMMUNITY TREE DECORATING Dec. 5, 5 p.m., at Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken. Tree decorating, refreshments, caroling, a visit from Santa and a tree lighting ceremony will be available. (803) 642-7635.

formances at 3 p.m. Dec. 7 and 14. Tickets are $15 adult, $14 for seniors (over 65) and children (under 12). Call the box office at (864) 459-2157 to make reservations.

HOLIDAY CHORAL CONCERT AND STUDENT DIRECTED ONE ACT PLAYS Dec. 5, 7 p.m., at the Beverly J. Barnhar t Theatre Recital Hall, Rooms 124 and 135 at Davidson Fine Ar ts School. Admission is $5 adult, $4 senior citizens and children under 5, $3 for Davidson students. Call 823-6924, ex t. 107 or ex t. 135 for info.

“MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET” will be per formed by the Aiken Community Playhouse Dec. 6-8 and 13-14 at the Washington Center for the Per forming Ar ts. Friday and Saturday per formances are at 8 p.m.; Sunday matinees are at 3 p.m. For information and reservations, call (803) 648-1438.

“HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS” Augusta Opera Holiday Benefit 7 p.m. Dec. 5. Hors d’oeuvres and per formances by ar tists from Augusta Opera at Saint Paul’s will be featured. Tickets are $75 per person. Call 8264710 for details.

“THE NUTCRACKER” will be performed by the Augusta Ballet Dec. 6-8 and 13-15 at the Imperial Theatre. Tickets are $12-$36. For more information, visit www.augustaballet.org or call the box office at 261-0555.

“AN OLD FASHIONED HOLIDAY” PREVIEW Dec. 5, 5-9 p.m. at the galleries of Ar tist Row. Holiday desser ts, music and ar t will be featured.

CAROLS IN THE PARK Dec. 5, 6 p.m., at Creighton Living History Park in Nor th Augusta. (803) 441-4300.

HOLIDAY SHOPPING EXTRAVAGANZA Dec. 5, 5-8 p.m. at Stevens Creek Elementary School. Call 8683705 (daytime) or 860-2494 (evening) for details.

“ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS” HOLIDAY TOURS at the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson Dec. 5-6.

Costumed candlelight tours will be conducted and tickets are $6 adult, $4 children ages 18 and under. Call 722-9828 for information.

“SCROOGE!” will be per formed at Stevens Creek Community Church Dec. 5-8 at 7 p.m., with a Dec. 7 matinee at 3 p.m. Tickets are $5 general admission or $10 reserved seating. Purchase tickets online at www.stevenscreek.net or call 863-7002.

HOLIDAY EXHIBITION at the Mary Pauline Gallery Dec. 5-21 features new works by 14 ar tists. Opening reception Dec. 5, 5-8 p.m. Call 724-9542 for details.

FIRST FRIDAY AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM Dec. 6 is “Christmas Riffs: An Evening of Jazz.” Enjoy holidayinspired jazz by vocalist Kari Gaffney from 6-8 p.m. or go on the gallery spotlight tour at 6:30 p.m. Admission is free. Call 724-7501 for more information.

AIKEN CHORAL SOCIETY WINTER CONCERT featuring Christmas carols in English and Spanish. Free admission. Dec. 6-7 at 8 p.m. in St. Mary Help of Christians Church in Aiken. (803) 628-1252.

CHRISTMAS CRAFT SHOW Dec. 6-7 at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Open 10 a.m.-6 p.m. on Friday and 9 a.m.-5 p.m. on Saturday. Admission and parking are free. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

NORTH AUGUSTA CHRISTMAS TOUR OF HOMES Dec. 6-7. Candlelight tour Dec. 6 from 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Dec. 7 tour hours are 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Tour tickets may be purchased in advance for $15 each or the days of the tour for $18 each. All proceeds benefit Nor th Augusta Charities. Call (803) 279-5074.

DICKENS CHRISTMAS CAROLING Dec. 6-7 at Riverwalk. Caroling begins at 7 p.m. Dec. 6 and at 8 p.m. Dec. 7. For information, call Charlot te Lynn, 6501734, or Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754.

A special version of the Dickens holiday classic, “A Christmas Carol,” will be performed Dec. 11-22 at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta. Four storytellers spin the tale from the actual script that Dickens himself used to entertain guests during the holiday season. (404) 874-5299.

HOLIDAY POPS! at the Etherredge and at the Bell presents two per formances by the Chenille Sisters. The Chenille Sisters, along with the Augusta Symphony and the Paine College Choir, per form Dec. 6, 8 p.m., at the Etherredge Center in Aiken. For tickets, call (803) 6413305. Dec. 7 per formance is 8 p.m. at Bell Auditorium.

The Chenille Sisters per form as par t of the Publix Family Concer t Series Dec. 8, 3 p.m. at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. For tickets to Dec. 7 and 8 concer ts, call the Augusta Symphony at 826-4705.

“HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS” Dec. 6-7 and 13-14 at the Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C. Per formances are 8 p.m., with additional matinee per-

COLUMBIA COUNTY CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING: Celebration begins at 4:30 p.m. Dec. 7 at the Evans Cour thouse. Free. Call 799-4581 for more information.

TOYS FOR TOTS 5K RUN Dec. 7 star ts at Lake Olmstead at 8 a.m. Entry fee is $12 in advance or $15 at the event. There will also be a one-mile fun run: Entry fee is $8 in advance or $10 the day of the event. All proceeds benefit the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve Toys for Tots Campaign. Call 736-2037 for information.

ACTIVITIES FOR HOLIDAY STORIES WORKSHOP Dec. 7, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., at Washington Hall Towers on the Augusta State University Campus is sponsored by the ASU Literacy Center. General admission is $24. Call 733-7043 for reservations.

SANTA VISITS THE LUCY CRAFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY Dec. 7. Enjoy storytelling, refreshments and, of course, a visit with Santa. For more information, contact Starchia at 724-3576.

“PAPER ORNAMENTS: HOLIDAY TRIMMINGS” family workshop Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-noon at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Open to children ages 5-11 accompanied by an adult. Fee is $7 per family and includes one child and one adult; additional children may at tend for $1 each. Call 722-5495 for details.

CHRISTMAS CRAFTS with Shemariah Farmer Dec. 7, 23 p.m., at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 736-6758.

HOLIDAY STORYTELLERS AND CRAFTS: Dec. 7 event is December’s Family History Series event at the Augusta Museum of History. Story times begin at 1 and 2 p.m. Call 722-8454 for details.

MASTERWORKS CHORALE CONCERT featuring “Christmas Oratorio” by Camille Saint-Saens and “Vom Himmel Hoch” by Felix Mendelssohn Dec. 7, 8 p.m., at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. Call (803) 641-3305 for ticket information.

CHRISTMAS DANCE Dec. 7, 8-11 p.m., sponsored by the Christian Organization for Single Adults. Dress in festive holiday at tire. Cost is $5 for members and $7 for non-members. Held at Westside High School. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376.

HOLLY DAYS CONCERT SERIES Dec. 7, 14 and 21 throughout downtown Aiken. Musicians per form live holiday music at various area venues. Savannah River Bluegrass plays Dec. 7 and 21 and Sibin plays Dec. 14.

Call the Aiken Downtown Development Association for info at (803) 649-2221.

HOLLY DAYS AND THE SCIENCE OF TOYS Dec. 7, 14, 21 and 28 at For t Discovery. Special activities include science demos, ar ts and craf ts projects, workshops and enter tainment; it’s all free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. Call 821-0200.

THIRD ANNUAL AUGUSTA TOYS FOR TOTS RUN Dec. 8, sponsored by the Southeastern Paralyzed Veterans.

Motorcycle motorcade leaves the Augusta Museum of History at 2 p.m. and arrives at Southeastern Paralyzed Veterans headquar ters at approximately 3 p.m. Bring new and unwrapped toys to donate to the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve Annual Toys for Tots campaign. Contact Larry Dodson at (803) 442-3877 for information.

Valentine Davies’ Classic Holiday Fantasy

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY CHRISTMAS PAR ADE star ts at 1:30 p.m. Dec. 8 on Broad Street. Call 7226664 for details.

AUGUSTA CHORALE ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CONCERT Dec. 8, 4 p.m., at the Gilber t-Lambuth Memorial Chapel on the campus of Paine College. Guest organist David Oliver and piano accompanist Angela Arrington will perform. Admission is $10 adult and $5 student. Call 4818102 for details.

JAYCEES CHRISTMAS PARADE Dec. 8, 3 p.m., in downtown Aiken. Call (803) 648-8955.

“CONCERT OF HOLIDAY MUSIC: CHORAL MUSIC FOR ADVENT AND CHRISTMAS” will be per formed by the Augusta Collegium Musicum Dec. 9 at the Augusta Museum of History. Concer t begins at 7:30 p.m. and is free for museum members and $5 for non-members.

Reservations are required by Dec. 6; call 722-8454.

FAMILY CHRISTMAS CONCERT per formed by the Augusta Concer t Band 7 p.m. Dec. 9 at ASU’s Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Tickets are $3-$6. Call 202-0091.

“FEAST OF CAROLS” HOLIDAY MADRIGAL DINNER AND SHOW Dec. 9-10, 7 p.m., at the Etherredge Center in Aiken. Call the box office at (803) 641-3305.

FORT GORDON CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING CEREMONY Dec. 10, 6 p.m. at Freedom Park. The Signal Corps band will perform and Santa Claus will make an appearance. Open to the public. In case of inclement weather, the ceremony will be held Dec. 11. Call 791-2945 for more information.

AUGUSTA OPER A HOLIDAY CONCERT, featuring the Augusta Children’s Chorale, Dec. 10 at the First Baptist Church in Aiken. Concer t begins at 7 p.m. Call 8264710 for tickets.

HOLIDAY SAFETY TIPS with the Augusta-Richmond County Marshall’s Office Dec. 11, 10 a.m., at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call the library at 793-2020 for details.

A STORYTELLER’S VERSION OF “A CHRISTMAS CAROL” Dec. 11-22 at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta. Performances are Thursday-Saturday at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 6:30 p.m. with additional performances Dec. 17-18 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $19.50 Thursdays and Sundays, $22.50 Fridays, $24.50 Saturdays, $10 Dec. 12, 17-18. Optional British pub-style menu available before show. Call (404) 874-5299 for details.

HOLIDAY PUPPET SHOWS WITH BEN AND KEETER held at area libraries. Shows will be held at the Wallace Branch Library Dec. 11, at the Gibbs Library Dec. 12, at the Euchee Creek Branch Library Dec. 17 and at the Ma xwell Branch Library Dec. 18. For information, call the Wallace Branch Library, 722-6275; the Gibbs Library, 863-1946; the Euchee Creek Branch Library, 556-0594; or the Ma xwell Branch Library, 793-2020.

HOLIDAY WISHES MUSICAL AND DESSERT TASTING presented by the Paul Knox Middle School Chorus Dec. 12, 7 p.m., in the Paul Knox Cafetorium. Ticket and desser t available for a $5 donation; proceeds benefit the chorus and music appreciation education programs at Paul Knox Middle School. Call (803) 442-6300 for information.

THE U.S. ARMY SIGNAL CORPS BAND CHRISTMAS CONCERT will be at First Baptist Church of Augusta on Walton Way Dec. 12, 7 p.m. This year’s theme is Christmas Around the World. Free and open to the public. Call 791-3113.

“MESSIAH” will be per formed by the Augusta Choral Society Dec. 12 at 8 p.m. Held at Sacred Hear t Cultural Center. Call 826-4713 for ticket information. “‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS” comes to the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre Dec. 12, with per formances at 9, 10 and 11 a.m. Presented by Augusta State University’s Born to Read Literacy Center and Patchwork

S P I R I T

Fridays-Saturdays, Nov. 29-30, Dec. 6-7, 13-14 at 8 p.m.

Sunday, Dec. 8 at 3 p.m.

LIONS CLUB CHRISTMAS PARADE Dec. 8. Parade star ts at 3 p.m. in downtown Nor th Augusta. Call (803) 2796049 for more information.

ORCHESTRA HOLIDAY COFFEE HOUSE AND ARTS GALLERY SHOWING Dec. 8, 3-5 p.m., at Davidson Fine Ar ts School. Held in the commons area. Tickets are $5 adults, $4 for senior citizens and children under 5, and $3 for Davidson Fine Ar ts students. For more information, call 823-6924, ex t. 118.

M E T R O

Aiken Community Playhouse Presents

“AUGUSTA OPERA AT SAINT PAUL’S: A CELEBRATION OF EDWARD BRADBERRY” holiday performance honors Edward Bradberry. Four international soloists, the Augusta Opera Chorus and Orchestra and the Augusta Children’s Chorale will perform. Concer ts are at 3:30 and 6 p.m.

Dec. 8. Tickets are $25 general admission; call 826-4710.

63

For Information and Reservations

call 648-1438

D E C 5

Washington Center for the Performing Arts 124 Newberry Street, Downtown Aiken

Miracle on 34th Street is sponsored by

The Augusta Collegium Musicum presents music for Advent and Christmas Dec. 9 at the Augusta Museum of History.

Players. Tickets are $3 per person. Call 733-7043 for more information.

“SURFIN’ WITH SANTA” DIVE-IN MOVIE screening Dec. 13, 7-8:45 p.m. at the Wheeler Branch Family Y indoor pool. Watch a holiday family classic movie while floating in the heated pool. Parents must accompany those 12 and under. $3 per person for gold and silver members, $5 per person for bronze members and $7 per person for non-members; children under 6 are free. Bring swimsuits, towels and floats. Call 738-6678.

“THE NUTCRACKER” will be per formed by the Columbia City Ballet Dec. 13-15 and 20-22 at the Koger Center for the Ar ts in Columbia, S.C. Call (803) 251-2222 or visit www.CapitolTickets.com for ticket information.

AIKEN CHORAL SOCIETY ANNUAL HOLIDAY HOMES TOUR Dec. 14, 4-7 p.m. Tickets are $10 the day of the tour or $9 in advance at the Greater Aiken Chamber of Commerce, Plum Pudding, Pat ti’s Hallmark and Aiken Office Supply and Book stores. For more information, contact Patricia Car ter Hall, (803) 649-9193.

STORY TIME WITH SANTA at Headquar ters Library Dec. 14, 11-11:45 a.m. Call 821-2600 for details.

“CHRISTMAS MEMORIES” CONCERT features the Garden City Chorus, the Peach State Chorus of Sweet Adelines and the ASU Trombone Quar tet. Per formance is 7:30 p.m. Dec. 14 at the ASU Per forming Ar ts Theatre.

Tickets are $10 general admission, $8 for students and seniors. Call 442-3844.

THE CHAMBER JAZZ CONCERT SERIES presented by the Augusta Jazz Project Dec. 14, 8 p.m. Held at the Unitarian Universalist Church. Tickets are $5-$15. Call 651-8712 for more information.

CHRISTMAS IN HOPELANDS Dec. 14-16, 19-23 and 2528. Hopeland Gardens in Aiken is open from 6-9 p.m. and will be illuminated with over 75,000 lights for a walkthrough exhibit. Concer ts on selected nights at 7 p.m. on the Roland H. Windham Per forming Ar ts Stage; bring a blanket or lawn chair to sit on. Concer t schedule is as follows: Millbrook Chapel Ringers Dec. 15, Chukker Creek Elementary School Dec. 15, For t Gordon Dec. 19, St. Paul’s Handbell Choir Dec. 20, Smith-Hazel Praise Dancers Dec. 22, Grace Covenant Church of God Dec. 23. Shut tle service available running from the parking lot of Goodwill on Whiskey Rd. and the parking lot of Winn Dixie on York St. All guests must ride the shut tles. Free and open to the public. (803) 642-7631.

HISPANIC CHRISTMAS CELEBRATIONS: Commemoration of the Feast of the Virgin of Guadalupe with fiesta to follow, Dec. 15, 3 p.m., at St. Joseph Catholic Church; Mexican Posada with fiesta to follow, Dec. 22, 3 p.m. at St. Joseph Catholic Church. Open to the public. For more information, contact Anita Funsch, 793-5688.

STORY TIME WITH MRS. CLAUS Dec. 17, 4 p.m., at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Mrs. Claus will read holiday books and each child will receive a book to take home.

Free and open to children ages 8 and under and their parents. Call (803) 642-7631.

SOUNDS UNLIMITED BAND ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY Dec. 19, 8 p.m. at Julian Smith Casino. Admission is $10 in advance or $12 at the door and proceeds benefit the Augusta Mini Theatre’s effor ts to build a new community ar ts school. Call 722-0598 for ticket information.

HOLIDAY CAMPS Dec. 19-21, 26-28 and 31. Open to children ages 6-12. For more information, call the Blythe Area Recreation Center, 592-4988; McBean Activity Center, 798-1191; or Bernie Ward Community Center, 790-0588.

FAMILY Y HOLIDAY CAMPS for kids and teens Dec. 1931. For details on Holiday Kids’ Camp and Gymnastics Holiday Camp, call 738-6678; for details on Holiday Teen Camp, call 733-1070.

SMITH-HAZEL CHRISTMAS CAMP Dec. 19-31 (no camp Dec. 25) at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken. Registration begins Dec. 9 at 9 a.m. and the day camp is open to children ages 4-11. Call (803) 6427635 for information.

TOYS FOR TOTS AT THE GARDENS: Through Dec. 8, a new, unwrapped toy donation gets you into Augusta Golf and Gardens. Toys valued at $5 or more gets one individual admission; toys valued at $10 or more get a family admission. For info, call 724-4443.

TOYS FOR TOTS DROP-OFF LOCATIONS: Regions Bank of Clearwater will accept donations of new, unwrapped toys through Dec. 12; call (803) 593-4422. New and unwrapped toys can also be dropped off at the WJBF News Channel 6 studios, all Georgia Bank & Trust locations, Walton Rehabilitation Hospital, The Augusta Chronicle, Beasley Broadcasting or area Wal-Mar t drives, held 1-7 p.m. Dec. 5 (Evans), Dec. 11 (Deans Bridge) and Dec. 13 (Nor th Augusta). Call 722-6664 for more information. “‘TIS THE SEASON” PLANETARIUM SHOW Friday, Saturday and Monday evenings through Christmas at the Dupont Planetarium in Aiken. Shows are scheduled for 7 and 8 p.m. and trace the development of holiday customs, reveal winter constellations and teach how the orbit of the Ear th causes seasons to occur. For information and reservations, call (803) 641-3769.

FANTASY IN LIGHTS HOLIDAY DISPLAY through Dec. 28 at Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, Ga. Tickets are $12 adult and $6 child ages 6-12 to view from your vehicle, $14 adult and $7 child 6-12 to view from open-air Jolly Trolly, free for children 5 and under.

Purchase tickets in advance and select a time slot by calling 1-800-CALLAWAY. “A CHRISTMAS CAROL” through Dec. 29, presented by the Alliance Theatre Company in Atlanta. Tickets are $18$42. Call (404) 733-4690.

“IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE” comes to the Class Act Theatre in Mariet ta, Ga., through Dec. 29. Tickets are $15 adult, $13 seniors and $12 children. (770) 579-3156.

HOLIDAY LUGGAGE EXCHANGE benefits local domestic violence shelters. Donations of used luggage will be accepted at the AAA office at 3601 Walton Way Ex t. through Dec. 31. For more information, visit www.aaasouth.com or call the Augusta AAA office at 738-6611.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART is collecting canned goods for the Golden Harvest Food Bank through Dec. 31. A two-can donation gets museum visitors $1 off admission. For information, call 724-7501.

“INVENTING SANTA: ART AND ADVERTISING” exhibit through Jan. 5 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta. The museum is open Tuesday-Sunday. Call (404) 733-HIGH for more information.

“INVENTING SANTA: ART AND ADVERTISING” exhibit through Jan. 5 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta. The museum is open Tuesday-Sunday. Call (404) 733-HIGH for more information.

“CHRISTMAS IN THE GARDEN CITY” holiday per formance Dec. 20-21 at the Imperial Theatre. Contact Tonya Bell at 796-3490 for ticket information.

THE WILLCOX

Just beadin’ around at YaYa Beads!

Classes available, sterling silver, hand blown glass beads and much more!

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE!

YaYa Beads Beading Supplies Behind Applebee's on Washington Rd. 706.651.1147 • yayabeads@aol.com Tuesday-Friday 10am-5:30pm Saturday 10am-4:30pm

Augusta’a Best Framing Prices 8x10 11x14 12x16 14x18 16x20 20x24 22x28 24x30 26x32 32x40

$15.00 $25.00 $28.00 $30.00 $40.00 $50.00 $60.00 $75.00 $85.00 $95.00

Price includes Matting & Frame

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722-8229

Across from Augusta Golf & Gardens

2 0 0 2

64 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C

Cinema

“Analyze That”

5

Abandon (PG-13) — Katie Holmes moves on to college in "Abandon," playing a student whose first love disappeared her freshman year. Under the stress of school and her broken hear t, Holmes star ts to have disturbing visions of her ex-boy friend, as well as visions of other people who have vanished. As she struggles to come to terms with the fact that she may have been involved in the disappearances, Holmes is trailed by Benjamin Brat t, playing a newly-sober detective. Cast: Katie Holmes, Benjamin Brat t, Zooey Deschanel, Will McCormack.

Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights (PG13) — Animated in the perk y but flat Saturday

morning TV manner, this oddball features Sandler as Davey Stone, who looks just like Sandler and is an orphaned, Jewish former basketball hero. He has become a rancid at titude for his small town, especially hating holidays and the eight days of Hanukkah. He moons carolers and is a pest to solid citizens, gets drunk and belches like a gassed tuba.

He makes the Grinch seem like a happy Rotarian.

For one word to describe Sandler, tr y "schizo." He goes from being more brazenly aggressive than Fields, Groucho or Sid Caesar in their primes, to a simpy noodle of self-pit y and cloying, clutchy sentiment. At the rate Sandler is going, he may soon reach the cuckoo rococo stage of his career.

Running time: 1 hr., 20 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Analyze That (R) — The sequel to 1999’s "Analyze This" finds Paul Vit ti (Rober t De Niro) in prison and follows what happens to him when he gets out. Vit ti pays a visit to his analyst, played by Billy Cr ystal, only to find that his analyst is the one who needs help. Cast: Rober t De Niro, Billy Cr ystal, Lisa Kudrow.

Photo Courtesy Warner Bros.

Movie Listings

2 0 0 2

Barbershop (PG-13) — In this day in the wacky

life of a Chicago salon, the rapper/actor Ice Cube drops his rough, gruf f image to play Calvin, the current owner of the barbershop. The shop was passed down to him from his dad and has been a mainstay of the community for years. Calvin couldn't care less, because he has a pregnant wife and wants to make money fast. In a moment of stupidity, he sells the place to the neighborhood loan shark. Af ter spending a day talking with customers and fellow barbers, he realizes the impor tance of the shop. He then has to buy back the shop at double the price. Meanwhile at the barbershop itself, tensions begin to rise. Cast: Ice Cube, Anthony Anderson, Sean Patrick Thomas, Eve, Troy Garity, Michael Ealy and Cedric the Enter tainer.

Running time: 1 hr., 42 mins. (McCormick) ★★★ Die Another Day (PG-13) — Pierce Brosnan moves with energy and can fake conviction. His chest hair is superb, his voice remains Bondaceous. But he looks peaked, and we imagine he found time to remember when acting meant, well, acting. Not just pulverizing glass, plunging through ice, brandishing absurd weapons and making limp jokes. True to its Cold War roots, the series reaches for one more Rot ten Commie enemy. So bring on dear old Nor th Korea. A Pyongyang lunatic has found the resources, via diamonds, to create a satellite sun called Icarus, to burn or blind the dumb Yanks, the snot ty Brits and the greedy South Korean stooges. He captures Bond, tor tures him, then zips off to Cuba, where he is DNA-morphed into a sneery Brit named Graves (Toby Stephens). We recall Connery, and old plots that, however abundantly silly, were adventurous larks and not just plastic shelves for hardware display. Cast: Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Rosamund Pike, John Cleese, Judi Dench, Rick Yune.

Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★

Photo Courtesy Dimension Films

“They”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

8 Mile (R) — As Jimmy "Rabbit" Smith, Eminem

flunks his first hip-hop bat tle, a cut ting contest of insult rhymes at a black club, is pegged a choker and sulks back to his grueling job at a metal-stamping mill.

The simple story is how Rabbit motorizes his mouth, confirming the "genius" proclaimed by pal and club emcee Future (Mekhi Phifer). As a buzzer, it has juice.

Thanks to Eminem and the rising rap momentum, "8 Mile" is engrossing. In this urban, if not urbane, fantasy, the hero takes a bad beating, gets up and goes to work, interrupts work to wow everyone at the hip-hop club, then returns to work af ter a verbal outlay that would have put even Winston Churchill in bed for days.

Cast: Eminem, Kim Basinger, Mekhi Phifer, Evan Jones, Brit tany Murphy, Anthony Mackie. Running time: 1 hr., 58 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ The Emperor’s Club (PG-13) — Kevin Kline is Prof. Bill Hunder t. He wants to not just impar t learning but "mold character." Into the blessed pasture of learning comes a black sheep, maybe a goat: Sedgwick Bell (Emile Hirsch). Son of a cold U.S. senator, Bell is insolent if not quite wit ty. But "character is destiny," and af ter Bell opens a small but piercing flaw in Hunder t's Brutus-like integrity, the prof sees his dream of improvement sorely tested at the school's annual "Mr. Julius Caesar" contest. Jump ahead 25 years. Darn if there isn't even a posh restaging of the quiz show. Bell has aged from Hirsch's surly hint of kid Brando into a rich rodent (Joel Gretsch) with a creepy intensity. About as dramatic as sucking marble dust through a straw, "The Emperor's Club" is nostalgic for education as an old-school gentlemen's club. Cast: Kevin Kline, Emile Hirsch, Embeth Davidtz, Harris Yulin, Ed Herrmann, Rishi Mehta. Running time: 1 hr., 49 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Empire (R) — John Leguizamo plays Victor Rosas, a Latino gangster and former heroin pusher surviving on the mean streets of New York. In an ef for t to turn his life around, Rosas turns to a successful Wall Street investment banker, who turns out to be a con ar tist.

Cast: John Leguizamo, Denise Richards, Peter Sarsgaard, Sonia Braga, Isabella Rossellini and Delilah Cot to. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins.

Extreme Ops (PG-13) — A film crew heads to the Alps to film a commercial in which three ex treme spor ts stars are chased down a mountain by an avalanche; when they capture a Serbian war criminal, hiding out in the mountains, on film, the crew and actors are forced to flee more than the elements. Cast: Devon Sawa, Rufus Sewell, Bridget te Wilson-Sampras.

Far From Heaven (PG-13) — Todd Haynes does loving ta xidermy on the creamy '50s kitsch of melodrama genius Douglas Sirk, who could make Rock Hudson emote if not act. All the period touches are right, including Elmer Bernstein's swoony score, but Julianne Moore as a conformist housewife has no presence but her clothes, Dennis Quaid gnarls into a knot of shame as her outed gay husband, and Dennis Haysber t is a secret hipster petrified as a noble gardener with a secret desire. The film is more awed by stereotyped pieties than Sirk ever was. 1 hr., 47 min.

(Elliot t) ★★1/2 Femme Fatale (R) — The film star ts with a heist at the Cannes festival. A man is crawling through a duct and firing a laser beam rifle, while a fat security guard runs around sweating, and a vile creep catches

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

a seemingly lethal bullet in the gut. Soon a blond beauty (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) is of f with the jewels and director Brian De Palma must feel he has begun his movie, or maybe a new era for MTV. It takes awhile for Antonio Banderas to show up as guilty paparazzo Nic Bardo, spying on the tall blond thief who quickly adopts the name of a look-alike Parisian suicide who just lost her husband and child. As stylized synthetic junk, all Paris and pastiche, "Femme Fatale" is at least more enter taining than "The Truth About Charlie." That has to be the weakest recommendation of the year.

Cast: Antonio Banderas, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Peter Coyote, Eriq Ebouaney. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Friday After Next (R) — This is the third film in the "Friday" series and features the same people, places and pals highlighted in the first two. "Friday Af ter Nex t" takes place around Christmas, as Craig and Day-Day are working as security guards af ter a "ghet to Santa" who’s been stealing presents. Cast: Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Don "D.C." Curry.

Half Past Dead (PG-13) — Steven Seagal action flick about a criminal mastermind whose big plan is to infiltrate a ma ximum-security prison and obtain information on the whereabouts of $200 million wor th of gold from a death row inmate. What he doesn’t know is that planted inside the prison is an undercover federal agent (Seagal). Cast: Morris Chestnut, Steven Seagal, Mat t Bat taglia.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG) — Harry (Daniel Radclif fe) faces destiny with a

clear eye and spor ty will, not the least neurotic despite having been orphaned into a family of idiotic prigs who treat him abominably. He again escapes to Hogwar ts, to his pals (Ruper t Grint as wobble-faced Ron, Emma Watson as bookworm Hermione) and the snippish regard of Prof. Snape (Alan Rickman) and Prof.

McGonegall (Maggie Smith), and the wonder ful giant Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane) and Headmaster Dumbledore (Richard Harris, now dead). Jason Isaacs should be given more time as Lucius, the evil, white-maned father of snob Draco Malfoy. There is a sense of a grand machine greased, sometimes grinding. The "chamber of secrets" is less an exciting mystery at the center than a device to car t the bulky saga forward.

Cast: Daniel Radclif fe, Ruper t Grint, Emma Watson, Kenneth Branagh, Richard Harris, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane. Running time: 2 hrs., 41 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ The Hot Chick (PG-13) — If the name isn’t enough to scare you, perhaps the idea that a vapid teenage girl wakes up to find herself inhabiting Rob Schneider’s body is. In the course of trying to get back to her true self, the popular teen discovers just how shallow she is. Cast: Rob Schneider, Andrew Keegan, Mat thew Lawrence.

Jackass: The Movie (R) — Nothing more than a big-screen version of the hit MTV series, "Jackass: The Movie" features Johnny Knox ville and pals performing hilarious and dangerous stunts and playing practical jokes on unsuspecting crowds. Don’t try this at home. Cast: Johnny Knox ville, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Steve O. Like Mike (PG) — The rapper Lil Bow Wow plays 14-year-old Calvin Cambridge, one of the older resi-

0— Not worthy.

dents in an L.A. orphanage. Calvin has two wishes — to find parents who love him and to play in the NBA like his idol, Michael Jordan. Then one day, Calvin's only adult ally, Sister Theresa (Anne Meara), discovers an old pair of sneakers that once belonged to Michael Jordan. Calvin tries them on, and they are a per fect fit.

The nex t day, Calvin's dreams begin to materialize. He meets one of his idols, basketball superstar Tracey Reynolds (Morris Chestnut), during a half time contest at a Los Angeles Knights game. Calvin makes a wish to be "like Mike" and suddenly displays moves reminiscent of Jordan. He is quickly signed by the Knights, and both he and new teammate Tracey go on a journey of self-discovery. Cast: Lil Bow Wow, Morris Chestnut, Jonathan Lipnicki, Brenda Song, Crispin Glover, Anne Meara and Eugene Levy. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins.

(McCormick) ★★★ Maid in Manhattan (PG-13) — Jennifer Lopez takes a job as a New York luxury hotel maid in this modern-day "Cinderella" tale. She falls in love with a rich politician, who mistakes her for a society woman.

Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Ralph Fiennes, Natasha Richardson.

Pandora’s Box (R) — “Pandora’s Box” is the low-budget sequel of sor ts to the 2000 film “Trois.”

This time around, a murder mystery, an unhappy woman’s af fair and lots of flesh come together to create an erotic thriller even more sexually charged than its predecessor. Cast: Monica Calhoun, Michael Jai White, Tyson Beck ford, Chrystale Wilson. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins.

The Ring (PG-13) — begins with the telling of an urban-legend-like tale that, for a while, seems likely to consign this movie to the slasher/horror bin: A weird videotape is circulating. As soon as you're through watching it, the telephone rings. A voice on the phone informs you that you have seven days to live. Seven days later, you die. The film boasts first-rate per formances, a gorgeous look, an engaging plot and a jangly, thrumming sense of dread. The ef fectiveness of such a movie depends entirely on the beholder. Save for a long, uneasy feeling of foreboding and one solid jolt, I didn't find it all that scary. Two young women exiting the theater in front of me, however, declared that the thing had terrified them, and I'm willing to take their word for it. Cast: Naomi Wat ts, Mar tin Henderson, David Dor fman, Brian Cox. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Salm) ★★1/2 The Rules of Attraction (R) — Dark and sexually-charged film about a group of af fluent students at a New England liberal ar ts college and their lives of lust, drugs and debauchery. James Van Der Beek of “Dawson’s Creek” fame, is Sean, a par t-time drug dealer who spends the other half of his time pursuing the ladies on campus. Lauren is the good girl of the film, abstaining from all that is evil. Paul uses his androgyny to seduce males and females. Lara, Lauren’s roommate, has only one thing on her mind.

Add a stellar and young ensemble cast and some psychedelic film ef fects, and you’ve got a movie parents will hate. Cast: James Van Der Beek, Ian Somerhalder, Shannyn Sossamon, Jessica Biel, Kate Boswor th, Fred Savage, Eric Stoltz. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins.

The Santa Clause 2 (G) — Tim Allen discovers af ter eight years of being Santa that there's another small detail in his contract: In order for him to continue being the Jolly Old Elf, he's got to take a wife. But first

he has to deal with his son, Charlie (Eric Lloyd), who's landed himself on the naughty list. Charlie's principal (Elizabeth Mitchell) wants him gone pronto and is a bit blue because the holidays don't mean as much to her as they once did. With 28 days to go before the contract expires, Santa's got a lot of work to do. One of his trusty elves comes up with a machine that can duplicate Santa while he's out in the real world hunting for a wife. Allen is remarkable playing Santa as funny, wise and sympathetic, all at the same time. 1 hr., 42 mins. (McCormick) ★★★ Signs (PG-13) — Mel Gibson plays Father Graham Hess, an Episcopal priest who lost his faith and retired his collar af ter his wife was killed in an auto accident. He lives in an old farmhouse with two adorable kids, plus a younger brother (Joaquin Phoenix). Big, elegantly precise "crop signs" turn up in their cornfield. It's space aliens, and the movie teases us as the signs pile up. The aliens show up, shoving clawed hands under doors but scared by steak knives, full of evil strength, yet not able to knock down the pathetic blockade of a fruit cellar. "Signs," though handsomely shot, seems meant for viewers who need to believe in tabloid aliens, and that we can beat them with plain-spun, homeland vir tues. It should be called "Sins" for compounding the sins of bad filming. Cast: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, M. Night Shyamalan, Cherry Jones. Running time: 1 hr., 46 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Solaris (PG-13) — Dr. Kelvin (George Clooney) travels to Solaris, the very distant and unear thly planet that seems to be a floating brain mass, a mind realm from which lovely filaments of mat ter ex tend and loop like wispy flares. Solaris brings back Rheya (Natascha McElhone), his late and tormented wife. She's back, then gone, then back. "Solaris" is never a block of ice like "THX 1138" or big chunks of "2001." Nor is it a sof t chew like "Silent Running" and the slushy insides of "The Matrix." It is both cerebral and woozy, like a "Twilight Zone" episode with hyper visuals, or a more vulnerable, even feminized update on "Them." What it lacks is lucidly staged suspense. Cast: George Clooney, Natascha McElhone, Viola Davis, Jeremy Davies, Ulrich Tukur. Running time: 1 hr., 47 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★★

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (PG) — A cheer ful theme park of a comedy about

junior spies, with a bigger budget and more inventive fun than the 2001 original (the plot is no advance).

Rober t Rodriguez directed, wrote, helped with the digital ef fects and gizmo touches, including excellent creatures. The many Hispanic rif fs do not land with PC heaviness, and the lively cast includes Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara as the main kids, plus Antonio Banderas, Steve Buscemi, Carla Gugino, Alan Cumming, Bill Pa x ton, Tony Shalhoub, Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin and (still macho at 81) Ricardo Montalban. Running time: 1 hr., 27 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Stealing Harvard (PG-13) — John (Jason Lee) is a squishy nice guy from sitcom hell, and buddy Duf f (Tom Green) is a "wild" mama's boy who runs a miserably inept yard-care business. John has finally saved $30,000 with girlfriend Elaine (Leslie Mann), who targets it for a home down payment. And so he

continued on page 66

Photo Courtesy Walt Disney Pictures

“Treasure Planet”

65

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“Femme Fatale”

“Die Another Day”

M E T R O S P I R I T

5 2 0 0 2

Photo Courtesy Warner Bros.

D E C

They (PG-13) — A grad student witnesses a horri-

continued from page 65 can't dip into that lode when his " trailer trash" niece lucks into Harvard. He had foolishly promised to pay the girl's college fees, and with the missionary zeal of a complete idiot he must lie, steal and blunder his way, with Duf f, to the money. There are four oafishly pitiful heists. There is no shape, no style, not even a true wisp of theme. Watching junk like this induces a kind of abstract guilt, as if you were paying dues for good books unread, fine music never heard. Cast: Tom Green, Jason Lee, Leslie Mann, Dennis Farina, Chris Penn, Seymour Cassel. Running time: 1 hr., 42 mins.

(Elliot t) ★ Stuart Little 2 (PG) — is a sequel capsule, as smooth and shiny as a jellybean. It brings back the Manhat tan mouse (Michael J. Fox), a computerized dearie loved by the Lit tle family as equal to their son, George (Jonathan Lipnicki), and his baby sister. The slow-star ting story is Stuar t's adventure to rescue new pal, birdie Margalo (Melanie Grif fith), a flut ter-ball of gold feathers, from the raptor Falcon (James Woods). 1 hr. 18 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2

fying incident, which rekindles her childhood fears of the dark and night terrors. Soon, she finds herself wondering if the images that plagued her as a child were real. Cast: Larua Regan, Marc Blucas, Dagmara Dominczyk, Ethan Embry, John Abrahams.

The Transporter (PG-13) — Frank Mar tin is an ex-special forces operator living the quiet life along the Mediterranean in France. He suppor ts himself by running his own courier service – with a few rules.

Namely, Mar tin doesn’t want to know who he’s working for or what he’s delivering. But when Mar tin notices the package he’s transpor ting star t to move, he looks in the box and finds a beautiful and bound woman. Cast: Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Mat t Schulze.

Treasure Planet (PG) — The movie transmutes Rober t Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island" into the heavily digitalized animation of a "Star Wars" of fshoot.

Now Jim is a very American and stalwar t 'toon-teen voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levit t, and Silver (Brian Murray) is a huge cyborg with an old-salt pirate face and tech arms wor thy of the Terminator on a hardware

rampage. A space movie that has interstellar craf t with lof ty, luminous sails and crusty barnacles on hulls is so absurd that it's charming. In visual fer tility, "Treasure Planet" rivals the top Japanese animations of recent vintage. For the sub-13 crowd (and many beyond it), this is satisfying holiday enter tainment.

Voices: Joseph Gordon-Levit t, Emma Thompson, Michael Wincot t, Brian Murray, Mar tin Shor t, Laurie Metcalf, Roscoe Lee Browne, Patrick McGoohan.

Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ The Tuxedo (PG-13) — Jackie Chan plays Jimmy Tong, a cabby who lands a job as chauf feur for Clark Devlin (Jason Isaacs), a wealthy industrialist.

Devlin is every thing Jimmy wants to be — handsome, smar t, rich, cultured and impeccably dressed. One of Devlin's prized possessions is an Armani tuxedo that seems to be a hit with the ladies and a definite confidence-booster. But Jimmy discovers there's more to Devlin than meets the eye af ter the boss is injured by a bomb while on assignment. Before he loses consciousness, Devlin asks Jimmy to wear the suit, a prototype created by a government agency that gives its wearer abilities far beyond mor tal men. Af ter Jimmy

tests out the tux, he's thrust into the spy game. Cast: Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewit t, Jason Isaacs, Ritchie Coster, Debi Mazar and Peter Stormare.

Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★★ XXX (PG-13) — Vin Diesel is buf f, which is surely the main point of his playing "edge spor ts" thrill-seeker turned CIA agent Xander Cage, but he has glints of boyish vulnerability. As he grooves into playing the new agent recruited by the agency's top dude (Samuel L. Jackson), the movie finds a rhy thm that is like a more masculine, bulked-up "Barbarella." The plot is junk, about a gang of ex-Red Army crazies led by a satanic Slavic slime (Mar ton Csokas), nihilists eager to destroy the world with a superweapon. It's another movie where you must believe, or giggle. Cast: Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson, Asia Argento, Mar ton Csokas, Danny Trejo. Running time: 1 hr., 44 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★ —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

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Cinema: Review

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As benign and idiotic as its prequel, this middling comedy has a few enjoyable gags but, for the most part, struggles to locate any decent story to hang its premise on, or any new jokes to warrant its existence.

Muddling forward without a purpose, the writers patched together a half-cracked scenario in which DeNiro’s gruff, but lovable, Don is released from prison into the loving, but neurotic, arms of his former shrink, played, again, by Billy Crystal. Now, living in a posh Westchester suburb with his bitchy, but lovable, wife (Lisa Kudrow) and his hefty teenage son, Crystal volunteers to watch over the former mob boss, who has apparently suffered a sudden psychosis from the stress of prison life. Who knew insanity was valid grounds for release from prison? Apparently, everyone but Crystal’s shrink, since the sudden release is, in actuality, a stunt by the police to stir up activity between the two warring mob families and put more wise guys behind bars.

Back on “the outside,” DeNiro’s rough and tumble I-talian attempts to follow the straight and narrow, with free therapy sessions from

his shrink/legal guardian, as an added bonus.

Dropping in like the houseguest from hell, the richest material in the film springs from this early segment. Revealing himself in his bathrobe to Crystal’s elderly relatives and keeping the family awake with a late-night, and noisy, visit from a hooker, the mobstershrink fare is played best on domestic turf.

But, as the aging boss makes one last attempt to get in the family way, the film falls into a laugh-less downward spiral. When DeNiro is hired to serve as the expert on a trite mafia show called “Little Caesar,” the picture loses its wayward focus entirely.

Pilfering bad jokes about cheap cinematic mobster knock-offs (a questionable thing to mock in a film like this), DeNiro sits around and does a whole lot of nothing, inadvertently impressing and frightening the crew. And when the action turns to the heist DeNiro has planned, the comedy hits rock bottom; it resorts to having Billy Crystal pummel a mobster while delivering lines about tough therapy.

Sadly under-utilizing Lisa Kudrow, who was undoubtedly one of the highlights of “Analyze This,” this pointless second goround delivers exactly what you’d expect of it: more tired mobster jokes and images of Robert DeNiro crying on Billy Crystal’s shoulder. If those sound like two potentially hilarious scenarios to you, eat your therapeutic heart out.

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Cinema: Review

M E T R O

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But such restraint, in today’s market, can exact a price. Will an audience that wants either the pop pomp of “Star Wars” or the juiced, beef-jerky pulp of “Ghosts of Mars” like a conceptual space movie about obsessive romance? Set almost entirely in cold, metallic spaces, with blue lighting and red smears of blood, “Solaris” may have too much integrity for the big weekend crowd.

It is not, though, an obese bore like “Solaris,” the 1972 Russian dirge of deep space that helped guarantee the cult reputation of that film’s director, Andrei Tarkovsky.

Steven Soderbergh, working with producer James Cameron, has adapted the Stanislaw Lem novel that has its own following. After a rainy nod to swampy, Tarkovskian ambience, he leads Dr. Kelvin (George Clooney) to Solaris. The very distant and unearthly planet seems to be a floating brain mass, a mind realm from which lovely filaments of matter extend and loop like wispy flares.

It’s the one pretty scene, everything on the science station being reduced to grimly functional minimalism, but Solaris is a mean trickster, worse than the Krel monster in “Forbidden Planet.”

People lose their minds, get them back and then want to kill themselves.

Memory is your worst enemy in this cosmic post-Freudian hell.

But Kelvin, despite desperate warnings from his friend Gibarian (Ulrich Tukur), teasing ones from Snow (irritat-

ingly mannered Jeremy Davies, whose arms seem to be mimicking the Solarian flares) and sensible ones from station chief Gordon (Viola Davis, all sober clarity), gets looped in without much resistance.

Why? Solaris brings back Rheya (Natascha McElhone), Kelvin’s late and tormented wife. She’s back, then gone, then back. Every shot of McElhone says: yes, and now. Her acting, though viable, is irrelevant. She is woman as tormenter, dream, odalisque, reborn phoenix and a quite satisfying lust mate during the sex episodes.

Caught between her and Solaris, it’s amazing that Clooney keeps his acting mind and delivers the most subtle, emotionally engaged performance of his career. Used before as an improved Tom Selleck with a stone cladding of Cary Grant, Clooney is not doing the breezy dude stuff that has endeared him to audiences. But he is really acting, not sporting.

“Solaris” is never a block of ice like “THX 1138” or big chunks of “2001.”

Nor is it a soft chew like “Silent Running” and the slushy insides of “The Matrix.” It is both cerebral and woozy, like a “Twilight Zone” episode with hyper visuals, or a more vulnerable, even feminized update on “Them.”

What it lacks is lucidly staged suspense, or the kind of gut jabbers that will explain those scary blood stains (today’s crowd is carnivorous, not veggie). Soderbergh always teases and stretches genres; even when he bombs, he’s not rote.

Caught in a tech malaise, a world that seems to have evolved beyond sex, Kelvin and Rheya suggests that pure romantic obsession is still the best refuge for a seemingly godless humanity. They go a vast and troubled distance for it.

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MOVIE CLOCK REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 12/6 - 12/12 Pandora’s Box (R) 12:00, 2:10, 4:20, 6:50, 9:35, 11:45 Analyze That (R) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 2:35, 4:45, 7:05, 9:20, 12:00; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 2:35, 4:45, 7:05, 9:20 Empire (R) Fri: 12:35, 2:40, 4:50, 7:30, 10:00, 12:25; Sat: 2:40, 4:50, 7:30, 10:00, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:35, 2:40, 4:50, 7:30, 10:00 The Hot Chick (PG-13) Fri: 7:30 Treasure Planet (PG) Fri: 12:00, 12:30, 1:00, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 4:30, 5:45, 7:00, 10:15, 11:40, 12:35; Sat-Thur: 12:00, 12:30, 1:00, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 4:30, 5:45, 7:00, 8:00, 10:15, 11:40 Ex treme Ops (PG-13) 4:30, 9:45 They (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:20, 3:00, 5:20, 8:10, 10:15, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 1:20, 3:00, 5:20, 8:10, 10:15 Solaris (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:05, 4:00, 6:55, 10:00, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 1:05, 4:00, 6:55, 10:00 8 Crazy Nights (PG-13) 12:10, 1:15, 2:35, 3:10, 5:15, 7:15, 9:25, 11:30 Die Another Day (PG-13) 1:30, 2:00, 4:25, 5:00, 7:30, 7:55, 10:30, 10:55 The Emperor’s Club (PG-13) 1:35, 4:10, 6:40, 9:15, 11:40 Friday After Nex t (R) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:50, 8:00, 9:50, 10:30, 12:00; SunThur: 12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:50, 8:00, 9:50, 10:30 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG) 11:55, 12:15, 3:20, 3:40, 6:45, 7:05, 10:10, 10:30 Half Past Dead (PG-13) 5:05, 7:35, 10:25 8 Mile (R) 1:45, 4:35, 7:40, 10:20 The Santa Clause 2 (G) Fri-Sat: 11:50, 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 11:50, 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30 Jackass: The Movie (R) 2:00, 7:10 The Ring (PG-13) 1:40, 4:20, 8:00, 10:40 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/6 - 12/12 Far From Heaven (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:10, 4:40, 7:20, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 4:40, 7:20, 9:40 Analyze That (R) Fri: 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; Sat-Sun: 1:25, 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; MonThur: 5:25, 7:25, 9:25 Maid in Manhattan (PG-13) Sat: 7:45 They (PG-13) Fri: 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; SatSun: 1:35, 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 5:35, 7:35, 9:35 Solaris (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 7:10, 9:30; SatSun: 1:30, 4:00, 7:10, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 7:10, 9:30 Ex treme Ops (PG-13) 9:45 8 Crazy Nights (PG-13) Fri: 3:05, 5:05, 7:05,

9:05; Sat: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 9:55; Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 Treasure Planet (PG) Fri: 2:45, 3:45, 4:45, 5:45, 7:00, 7:45, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 12:45, 1:45, 2:45, 3:45, 4:45, 5:45, 7:00, 7:45, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 4:45, 5:45, 7:00, 7:45, 9:15 Die Another Day (PG-13) Fri: 4:15, 7:15, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50; MonThur: 4:15, 7:15, 9:50 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG) Fri: 2:00, 4:30, 5:30, 8:00, 9:00; SatSun: 1:00, 2:00, 4:30, 5:30, 8:00, 9:00; MonThur: 4:30, 5:30, 8:00, 9:00 Santa Clause 2 (G) Fri: 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 7:30, 9:40 The Ring (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 4:40, 7:25, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 4:40, 7:25, 9:55 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/6 - 12/12 Empire (R) Fri: 4:20, 7:20, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 7:20, 9:30 Solaris (PG-13) Fri: 4:30, 7:15, 9:45; SatSun: 1:15, 4:30, 7:15, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:15, 9:45 Treasure Planet (PG) Fri: 5:00, 7:00, 9:00; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, 9:00; MonThur: 5:00, 7:00, 9:00 8 Crazy Nights (PG-13) Fri: 5:30; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30; Mon-Thur: 5:30 Die Another Day (PG-13) Fri: 4:05, 7:05, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 9:40; MonThur: 4:05, 7:05, 9:40 Friday After Nex t (R) Fri: 5:10, 7:10, 9:10; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10; MonThur: 5:10, 7:10, 9:10 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG) Fri: 5:05, 8:30; Sat-Sun: 1:25, 5:05, 8:30; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 8:30 8 Mile (R) 7:25, 9:35 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/6 - 12/12 Stealing Harvard (PG-13) 2:35, 4:50, 7:20, 10:05 Abandon (PG-13) 2:30, 5:15, 7:45, 9:40 The Rules of Attraction (R) 2:10, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50 Barbershop (PG-13) 2:20, 4:35, 7:50, 10:00 Femme Fatale (R) 1:55, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45 Spy Kids 2 (PG) 2:00, 4:25, 7:35, 9:55 The Tuxedo (PG-13) 2:05, 4:30, 7:10, 9:35 Stuart Little 2 (PG) 2:15, 5:05, 7:00, 9:30 The Transporter (PG-13) 2:40, 5:00, 7:40, 9:40 Signs (PG-13) 2:00, 4:45, 7:00, 9:25 XXX (PG-13) 2:25, 4:55, 7:30, 9:50 Like Mike (PG) 2:45, 5:10, 7:25, 9:30

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

A SU Theatre and Opera Workshop Open Auditions Augusta State University Theatre and Opera Workshop production of

by Meredith Willson

The Music Man by Meredith Willson

all roles and chorus (children’s auditions to be announced later) 7 - 9 p.m. on Thursday, December 5 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. on Saturday, December 7 Rehearsal Hall of the Fine Arts Building Bring an aria or solo - reading and accompanist will be provided Call 667-4876 for further information

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5

Dec. 6, 7, & 12, 8pm $15: Dec. 8, 3pm $10 Dec. 13 & 14, Grand Buffet Dinner Theatre, 7:30pm $35 Dec. 14, English High Tea Matinee, 3pm $25

Holiday Camps!

Two Sessions December 19 -20

December 30 -31

Discover Whodunit!

Astronaut Adventure

4th - 5th Graders

2nd - 3rd Graders

Time: 9 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. $60 -- Non-Members; $50 -- Members

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For more details or to register call Lisa Golden at 706-821-0646

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70 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

Music Eight Acts A-Playing

By Lisa Jordan

I

t’s the most wonderful time of the year – after all, is there any other time you could catch eight solid musical acts in one night, on one stage?

This year – on Dec. 18, to be exact – The Tabernacle in Atlanta plays host to the Holiday Music Revue, a night of holiday jamming from artists Fastball, The Indigo Girls, The Jayhawks, Josh Joplin, Tift Merritt, Rhett Miller, Shawn Mullins and Peter Stuart. If you’re thinking about going, The Spirit offers you an A-to-Z (or at the very least, an F-to-S) rundown on the musicians planning to shower you with holiday cheer.

Fastball Fastball found fame in the fall of 1998 with the success of the single “The Way” off the album “All the Pain Money Can Buy.” Driven by the tune’s catchy groove, “The Way” landed the No. 1 spot on the alternative singles chart.

“The Harsh Light of Day,” the aptly named follow-up album released in 2000, didn’t fare as well and dropped off the charts after just three weeks, despite treading the familiar territory of “All the Pain Money Can Buy.” Earlier this year, the group released a greatest-hits compilation, “Painting the Corners: Best of Fastball.”

The Indigo Girls Amy Ray and Emily Saliers, a couple of gals with guitars from Decatur, Ga., make up The Indigo Girls. They’ve been performing for years, releasing albums on their own label in the early 1980s and landing a major-label contract by the end of the decade.

Sharing the stage isn’t anything new for The Indigo Girls; they’ve performed with Neil Young, R.E.M., Paul Simon and Mary-Chapin Carpenter, to name a few. They’re also known for their political activism.

With a new album, “Become You,” in stores and a holiday tour under their belt, the folk duo is busier than most this month – but not too busy to play a holiday concert for their hometown crowd.

The Jayhawks Minneapolis-based band The Jayhawks has been compared to an Atlanta favorite – The Black Crowes, whom the Jayhawks had the pleasure of opening up for during an early-‘90s tour. The Jayhawks play a similar brand of blues/Southern rock fusion to that of the Crowes and have built up a loyal following since their 1985 inception by word-of-mouth, heavy touring and playing lots of intimate club dates.

Though the band has seen more than its share of personnel changes over the years and former guitarist Gary Louris has been left to pick up songwriting duties, The Jayhawks are still going strong. Their latest album, “Smile,” was released in 2000.

Josh Joplin Josh Joplin has the “plasticky” good looks of a Ken doll, but don’t let that fool you. He certainly wasn’t on the high school football team – that’s because he dropped out of school a couple of weeks into 10th grade to bum around and find his for-

tune as a folk singer.

But it seems that Joplin doesn’t mind being an outsider; indeed, that’s what’s enabled him to write punchy, intelligent anthems that blur the line between folk and pop. His songs are sprinkled with just the right amount of literary flair and savvy wordplay – and they’re not as boring as English 101.

Tift Merritt Roots rocker Tift Merritt, with her fresh face and blonde hair, could be the alterna-Barbie to Joplin’s Ken. She’s been writing songs since her early teens and has played the club circuit for nearly a decade, purveying autobiographical melodies and twangy guitars.

Merritt’s win at a songwriting contest, part of the 2000 Merlefest Music Festival, and the backing of singer-songwriter Ryan Adams brought her the attention of Universal Records roots label, Lost Highway. Merritt’s debut, “Bramble Rose,” was released in the summer of 2002.

Shawn Mullins

Rhett Miller After playing with Texas alt-country outfit Old 97’s for almost 10 years, frontman Rhett Miller struck out on his own earlier this year with solo album “The Instigator.”

“The Instigator” showcases what Miller is capable of, assembling a barrage of tracks that Miller had been working on for years – tracks that didn’t fit into Old 97’s repertoire. As such, the album is a bit of a time capsule, highlighting Miller’s growth as a singer-songwriter.

Shawn Mullins Another Atlanta native is on the bill – Shawn Mullins. He achieved modest commercial success in 1998 with the single “Lullaby.” The album “Soul’s Core,” nudged by “Lullaby’s” success, made its way into the top 100 charts.

Despite the modern-rock radio and MTV-fueled success of “Soul’s Core,” Mullins kept his focus, continuing his habit of playing over 200 shows a year to small audiences and infusing his albums with spoken-word bits.

Josh Joplin

Peter Stuart Peter Stuart returns to his solo roots after the breakup of band Dog’s Eye View, whose single “Everything Falls Apart” was a top 10 hit. Stuart’s solo career, which started in the mid‘90s as he opened up for the Counting Crows, Tori Amos and Cracker, was revived in 1999 when he started the time-consuming task of pulling together the 11 tracks that would become “Propeller.”

“Songs About You,” which has yet to be released, features Stuart and guests Adam Duritz, Moon Zappa and DJ Bonebrake.

If You Go ...

The Holiday Music Revue comes to The Tabernacle in Atlanta Wednesday, Dec. 18 at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:30 and the show is open to all ages. Tickets range from $25 for general admission to $36.50 for the floor and lower levels and are available through TicketMaster. Go to www.ticketmaster.com or call 828-7700.

Peter Stuart

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Breakfast

M E T R O

Brian Howe Brings Bad Company Hits to the Honky Tonk

By Lisa Jordan

S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

Lunch Dinner Any time’s a good time for IHOP 2525 Washington Road • 738-0554

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hese days, if you want to see a live show and hear some good ol’ classic rock by the boys of Bad Company, you have two options.

The first is to see the original members of the ‘70s supergroup, including founding vocalist Paul Rodgers, when they tour next in spring of 2004.

But if you do that, you won’t be hearing any of the group’s 1986-1994 hits. And if that’s just what you’re looking for, you’re left with the second option, which is to catch Bad Company former lead singer Brian Howe, the man behind the band’s 1980s comeback. And you don’t have to wait a year and a half to see him.

Howe will be performing at the Honky Tonk right here in Augusta, Dec. 6. And he’s bringing a bunch of hits with him, including the songs he penned as Bad Company’s second lead singer and those off his 1997 solo album, “Tangled in Blue.”

Though Bad Company, composed of members from popular bands Free, Mott the Hoople and King Crimson, first came together in the mid-‘70s, it was Howe that resurrected the band in 1986 following Bad Company’s breakup in 1982.

Howe, a native of Portsmouth, England, got his start in the big league singing for the Ted Nugent band in 1983. He recorded the vocals for the Nugent album “Penetrator” and toured in support of the album.

After Rodgers left Bad Company and formed The Firm with Jimmy Page, Howe was invited to become Bad Company’s lead vocalist. He’s the man behind hits like “Holy Water” and “No Smoke Without Fire.” And it’s songs like those, according to the man himself in a statement issued in 1999, you won’t hear if you buy a ticket to a Bad Company reunion tour.

It seems that relations between Howe and

the other members of Bad Company have soured. Following extensive litigation, Howe was granted the right to use the billing “Bad Company former lead singer Brian Howe” as part of his effort to make it clear to fans that Howe still performs his self-written Bad Company hits onstage. “(I) want my fans to know the only way they can hear my 1986-1994 Bad Company hits is to make sure they are buying a ticket for a show that reads, ‘Bad Company former lead singer Brian Howe,’” Howe said in his written statement. “If a ticket is bought for any other show, they will not be hearing any of the Brian Howe written and sung Bad Company hits from 1986-1994.”

OK – everybody got that? Good. Now go snap up those tickets.

What’s also compelling about the tiff between Howe and Bad Company is the complete omission of the Brian Howe era on the band’s official Web site biography, a fact that Howe’s fans readily point out. In the journal entries that Howe himself posts on his own official site, he says that he doesn’t have any animosity toward Rodgers. He also posts predictions for his favorite football – or soccer, if you prefer – team, Portsmouth Football Club, which he affectionately calls “Pompey,” and shout-outs to fans that post comments in the Web site’s guestbook.

Howe has also revealed what he’s planning to do next. He’s going to record another solo album, a follow-up to “Tangled in Blue.” It’s set to feature some new songs, which Howe is in the process of writing with Jeff Carlisi in Atlanta, and re-recordings of some Howepenned Bad Company songs. He’s shopping around for a record label and hopes to have the project out by spring of 2003.

Howe comes to the Honky Tonk Dec. 6.

For more information, call the Honky Tonk at 560-0551.

Stank Music: CDs That Never Should Have Been Pressed

By Lisa Jordan

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T

he Dolomites scared my puppy, Sebastian.

He sat bolt upright, awakened from a deep sleep at the first strains of demented circus music from The Dolomites album “Medicine Show,” and ran out the room. Perhaps Sebastian had the right idea; he got out before I forced him to listen to albums by the likes of Total, Tuck & Patti and Philip Kane.

Of the 30,000 or so records released per year, there’s bound to be a few rotten apples in the bunch, right? We’ve gathered up a few of those albums and, in the spirit of a few laughs, present an evaluation of some of the stankiest music we’ve encountered.

Total – “Kima, Keisha & Pam” Total is one of the groups signed to Puff Daddy’s (or P. Diddy, if you like) label, Bad Boy Records. In the hands of a less egocentric producer, Total might have fared a little better than the total obscurity they’ve enjoyed thus far, but the endless Puff Daddy shoutouts (how many times do we need to hear the words “bad boy, uh, uh” in one song?) make songs like “Rock Track” unbearable.

Not to mention the overt sexuality present in tracks “There Will Be no #!*@ Tonight” (guess what “#!*@” means) and track four, a naughtily titled interlude. Out of 18 tracks, four consist of these so-called interludes, pointless snippets of suggestive moaning and dialogue that includes more uses of the fword than you can shake a stick at.

Puff Daddy also parades a gaggle of guests through Total’s tracks, including Mase, Missy Elliott and Mocha, and brings what sounds like a factory-programmed Casio keyboard to the mix in the first cut on the album, “Trippin’.”

With “Kima, Keisha & Pam,” Total proves it ain’t no Destiny’s Child. As for Puff Daddy, he’d probably be better off ditching the producer bit and sticking to what he does best – ruining perfectly good songs.

The Dolomites – “Medicine Show” The Dolomites are what would result from throwing an evil clown, a legless pirate, a carnival worker and a con artist into a blender.

Listening to “Medicine Show” is like being strapped into an out-of-control Tilt-a-Whirl – the music barrels around and around in a frenzy, and just when you think it’s going to stop, the banjo kicks back in and you have no choice but to go around again.

It’s pretty obvious that the boys in the band are having fun; what isn’t obvious, is exactly where they’ll take you. In the span of five songs, The Dolomites guide the listener on a

journey from a snake oil-selling sideshow to the mind of Lizzie Borden and a barroom brawl.

And there are plenty of random and unexplained noises to engage – or confuse – the senses: everything from a monkey howl to a single kazoo toot to what sounds eerily like the laugh of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. In an effort to further alienate their potential audience, in the liner notes, The Dolomites command you to “Find a hidden treasure on your computator” by pointing you to www.dolomitesmell.com. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Tuck & Patti – “Chocolate Moment” I’ll admit up front, Tuck & Patti aren’t that bad. Patti is blessed with a strong, soulful voice and Tuck … well, he’s blessed with a thick head of curly grey hair. But I just can’t take seriously an album that is titled “Chocolate Moment.”

The themes on the album aren’t anything new – love, loyalty, the nature of life – and as near as I can tell, Tuck and Patti are a happy couple. But vocalist Patti gives the songs all she’s got and ends up overpowering Tuck’s tinkling and minimal guitar work.

The lyrics could use some spiffing up as well. On the highlight of the CD, title track “Chocolate Moment,” liner notes reveal that Patti is indeed saying “sho’ do” (“If beauty is as beauty does, / You sho’ do lead the way”) and “Lordy Lord / I’m having a chocolate moment” between launching into ill-conceived moments of improvisational singing.

The most disturbing part? We never find out just what a chocolate moment is.

Philip Kane – “Songs for Swinging Lovers” British import Philip Kane never quite reveals what he means by swinging lovers. Is it a convoluted tangle of a relationship, as the title of opening track “Me, the Ladyboy and Gloria Estefan” suggests? Or is it a lover so distraught they’ve turned to suicide, as implied by the noose drawn on the face of the CD? Or maybe Kane’s trying a little too hard to be ironic.

The 10 tracks on the album offer little insight into subjects other than hangovers and juvenile sexual fumbling. Most unfortunate is the comparison of Kane’s white soul-boy schtick to the mastery of the late Jeff Buckley in an Amplifier magazine album review; Kane seems to have more in common with Simply Red than with Buckley.

On his Web site, Kane is currently offering Evian bottles of his own urine, containers of something a little more disturbing at a higher price, and his album for £10.99. At just £5, the bottle of urine might be your best bet.

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o you missed Bruce in Atlanta this week. There’s no problem, as Springsteen and the E Street Band have two more Southern gigs lined up within easy driving distance of Augusta.

On Sunday night, Dec. 8, Springsteen visits Charlotte Coliseum with a Columbia, S.C., gig lined up for the following evening. The Columbia show will open the terrific new Carolina Center, a top-notch multi-purpose arena that will replace the aging Carolina Coliseum as the main venue.

Things are really different in Cocktown, as some of you may remember when the ancient Township Auditorium served as the primary facility for acts that included Pink Floyd, Yes and Black Sabbath.

The Dave Matthews Band returns to Atlanta Dec. 11 for a show at Philips Arena. Even though Dave has visited Atlanta several times (remember the Turner Field show a few years back?), he always draws big crowds as fans trek in from all over the South for the festivities. TicketMaster.

No Worries Dept.

A recently discovered audio tape featuring eight songs from a very young Bob Marley will be auctioned later this month. Marley was only 22 years old when he met New York musician Jimmy Norman, who recorded the then unknown reggae musician in a Manhattan apartment. The starting price for the reel to reel tape is $15,000 with the sale being conducted through Christie’s.

In related Marley news, there’s still no truth to the rumors concerning a theme park bearing his name in his native Jamaica. The all-ages resort would spotlight exotic, fun-filled rides and exibits that include “Bumper Blounts,” “Six Spliffs Over Jamaica” and the always challenging “Gravibong.”

ZZ Top, that “little ol’ band from Texas,” has a boxed set due next year.

Unreleased outtakes, extended versions of singles and live material will be featured along with the hits. The trio has

B Y

E D

Bruce Springsteen

kept an extremely low profile over the past few years, but don’t be surprised to see a full-blown U.S. tour in the spring.

Ahh ... Christmas time is upon us. Of course, most everyone has cut a Christmas disc at one time or another, so why not enjoy the holiday season Southern rock style? I was as surprised as anyone to see that the remnants of Lynyrd Skynyrd have released “Christmas Time Again,” a full album of seasonal favorites. Even Rudolph might balk at the disc’s inclusion of such Yuletide favorites as “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and “Greensleeves.” Wonder what Ronnie Van Zant would’ve thought?

New and in stores this week: Primal Scream's “Evil Heat,” Sum 41's “Does This Look Infected?” System of a Down’s “Steal This Album,” Jennifer Lopez’s “This Is Me,” The Roots’ “Phrenology,” Tim McGraw's “And the Dancehall Doctors,” and Mariah Carey's “Charmbracelet.”

Newly released DVDs include discs from Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock, Jimmy Eat World, Slipknot, Bon Jovi, Paul McCartney, Josh Groban, Randy Bachman, Humble Pie, Uriah Heep, Green Day, Duke Ellington, David Bowie and Ozzy Osbourne.

Turner’s Rock and Roll Jeopardy: A. This recently deceased singersongwriter wrote “Just Dropped in to See What Condition My Condition Was In” for The First Edition and “American Trilogy” for Elvis Presley.

Q. Who was Mickey Newbury?

M E T R O

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75

Night Life

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5

Thursday, 5th The Bee’s Knees - Sweet Nuthin’ Bhoomer’s Lounge - Open Mic Night, Heavy Dose Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Karaoke Coliseum - Karaoke, High-Energy Dance Music Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Wayne Capps Garden City Bar and Grill - Karaoke with Mad Dog Mike Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Chuck Cronk Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - House Music Playground - Open Mic Night Red Lion - Wingnail Rhy thm and Blues Exchange - Sabo and the Scorchers The Shack - DJ Billy Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins Whiskey Junction - DJ Chaos Whiskey Road Oyster Factory - Weston and Preston

Friday, 6th

Elliot Holden plays Wednesday, Dec. 11 at Joe’s Underground.

On First Friday, Grupo Vacunado brings live salsa to the Soul Bar.

The Bee’s Knees - First Friday Ar t Bhoomer’s Lounge - Jemani Borders - Jeremy Carr Cadillac’s - Broken Arrow Band Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Special Guest Enter tainer Coconuts - DJs Doug and Eric Coliseum - Mother Kibble, Male Dancers Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - 420 Outback, Pain in Life D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Heavy Dose Eagle’s Nest - Karaoke, DJ MJ Five Pines Saloon - Jimmy Smithy and Sudden Thunder Fox’s Lair - Tara Scheyer Garden City Bar and Grill - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke The Hangnail Gallery- Incidental Orchestra, Ar t

by Anthony Hut to and Andrew Benjamin Honk y Tonk - Brian Howe, All A xess Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - Jayson Sabo, DJ Richie Rich Luck y Lady’s - The Duke Boys Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Terany, The Ear thling, DJ Vegas Red Lion - Ly thium, Murdercycle The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s - Steve Chappell, Bar t Bell Soul Bar - Live Salsa with Grupo Vacunado, Ar t

by Raoul Pacheco Treybon’s Backstreet Lounge - Edmond “The Lurch” Kida Whiskey Junction - Simple as That, DJ Paul

Saturday, 7th The Bee’s Knees - Indie Rock Anthems with DJ

Bhoomer’s Lounge - Jemani Borders - Billy S. Cadillac’s - Broken Arrow Band Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Cabaret Show Coconuts - DJs Doug and Eric Coliseum - Mallory Bishop Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Rufie, Ly thium D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Heavy Dose Five Pines Saloon - Jimmy Smithy and Sudden Thunder Fox’s Lair - Tara Scheyer Garden City Bar and Grill - Karaoke with Mad Dog Mike Greene Streets - Karaoke Honk y Tonk - All A xess Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - The Atlantic Coastline Band, DJ Richie Rich Luck y Lady’s - The Duke Boys Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Miami Night with DJ Boriqua Red Lion - Shinebox, Pain in Life The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s - Glenn Beasley Soul Bar - Soul*Bar*Sound*Lab Treybon’s Backstreet Lounge - Edmond “The Lurch” Kida Whiskey Junction - Simple as That Whiskey Road Oyster Factory - Jack Drummond

Sunday, 8th Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford and The Last Bohemian Quar tet The Edge - 420 Outback, Siclid, Pro Logic, Enable Kain The Shack - Karaoke with Buckwheat and Doober Shannon’s - Tony Howard, Allen Black Somewhere in Augusta - Doug and Henry Whiskey Junction - Jim Fisher Band

Monday, 9th Cadillac’s - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Crossroads - Monday Night Dance Par ty with DJ Chris Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Red Lion - Karaoke The Shack - DJ Billy

Tuesday, 10th Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t The Bee’s Knees - Comin’ Round the Bend D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Music Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock The Shack - DJ Billy

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Mad Margritt plays at Jackals in Atlanta Dec. 14.

Wednesday, 11th The Bee’s Knees - Blue in Green Bhoomer’s Lounge - Acoustic Musicians Cadillac’s - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Jam Session with The Family Trucksters D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Elliot Holden Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Playground - Karaoke with Dave Long The Shack - DJ Billy Shannon’s - Steve Chappell, Shelley Watkins Somewhere in Augusta - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Soul Bar - Live Jazz

Upcoming Rocking the Stocking - Crossroads - Dec. 14 The 12 Bands of Christmas - Imperial Theatre Dec. 22

Elsewhere

Life is hectic. Weekends shouldn't have to be. Join Scott Simon for Weekend Edition every Saturday at 8:00 AM on WACG, 90.7 FM. Reclaim your Saturday and hear weekend news, views, and commentary. From gardening tips and film reviews to in-depth news analysis, Peabody Award-winning host Scott Simon eases you into the weekend with a fresh

Photo of Scott Simon by Lisa Berg

perspective.

Call us at (800) 654-3038 or visit us at www.gpb.org for more information about our programming.

Andrea Bocelli - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Dec. 6 David Allan Coe - Georgia Theatre, Athens, Ga. - Dec. 7; Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. - Dec. 13 Gran Torino - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. Dec. 7 Interpol - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Dec. 8 Harry Connick Jr. Children’s Tour - SciTrek, Atlanta - Dec. 8 Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band Charlot te Coliseum, Charlot te, N.C. - Dec. 8; The Carolina Center, Columbia, S.C. - Dec. 9 Taking Back Sunday - Cot ton Club, Atlanta Dec. 10 Jim Brickman - Spar tanburg Memorial Auditorium, Spar tanburg, S.C. - Dec. 10; Ovens Auditorium, Charlot te, N.C. - Dec. 15 Dave Matthews Band - Philips Arena, Atlanta Dec. 11 The Clarks - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Dec. 11 Cee-Lo - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. - Dec. 12 Sneaker Pimps - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Dec. 12 Jaguares - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - Dec. 13 Angie Aparo - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - Dec. 13 Josh Joplin Group - Red Light Cafe, Atlanta Dec. 13-14 Dezeray’s Hammer - Senate Park, Columbia,

S.C. - Dec. 14 Southern Culture on the Skids - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Dec. 14 ‘80s Winter Benefit Concert - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - Dec. 14 Mad Margritt - Jackals, Atlanta - Dec. 14; Flanagins, Atlanta - Dec. 27-28 Trial by Fire - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Dec. 16 Noise Therapy - Ear thlink Live, Atlanta - Dec. 17 Holiday Music Revue - The Tabernacle, Atlanta Dec. 18 Tandy - The Early, Atlanta - Dec. 18-19 Los Straitjackets - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Dec. 20 SR-71 - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Dec. 21 North Mississippi All-Stars - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 21 Derek Trucks Band - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 27 Cheap Trick - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - Dec. 27 Bluestring - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Dec. 27 Trans Siberian Orchestra - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Dec. 30 Widespread Panic - Philips Arena, Atlanta Dec. 30-31 Gregg Allman and Friends - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - Dec. 31 Delbert McClinton - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Dec. 31 The Gaither Homecoming Concert - Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Ga. - Jan. 9 Hair Care Atlanta - Nine Lives, Atlanta - Jan. 18 Coldplay - BJCC Concer t Hall, Birmingham, Ala. - Jan 24; Grady Cole Center, Charlot te, N.C. Jan. 25 moe. - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - Jan. 24-25 The Pretenders - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - Jan. 27 David Gray - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Feb. 4 Bon Jovi, The Goo Goo Dolls - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Feb. 13 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com.

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE The Metropolitan Spirit has a full time, entry level sales position available.

The ideal candidate is ambitious, self-motivated, competitive, persuasive, positive, creative, and a great communicator in person and on paper.

Account executives develop new business, work with clients and production artists to create ads that get results.

If you possess an entrepreneurial drive and are up for a challenge with big rewards, please send your resume, with cover letter to:

Advertising Sales c/o The Metropolitan Spirit P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax to 706-733-6663 EOE

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lberta (Canada) judge Shelagh Creagh ruled in October that prison inmate Shane Arthur Wilson could not be punished for carrying around a homemade plastic knife since Wilson said the knife was only for defending himself against prison gangs.

This, and a similar decision currently being appealed by another Alberta judge have predictably outraged prison guards across Canada. And a November Washington Post dispatch from Mexico reports that escaping from prison is not a crime in that country (nor is running away from police or lying about guilt) because, as one Supreme Court justice put it, Mexico respects the individual’s “basic desire for freedom.”

• Absolutely the least substantial reason for a knife fight: Police in Mansfield Township and Hackettstown, N.J., charged Emmanuel Nieves, 23, with aggravated assault on Nov. 13 after he allegedly slashed the face of his friend Erik Saporito, 21, as the two men fought after arguing over which one had more hair on his buttocks.

Latest Mature Government Officials • Sumpter Township, Mich., Supervisor Elmer Parraghi, 74, and Finance Director Dwayne Seals, 35, habitually, viciously feuding about business issues, recently obtained judicial restraining orders against each other, even though both work in a four-office building. And in September during the annual, vituperative MiamiDade County (Fla.) budget hearing, Commissioner Natacha Seijas snapped at Chairwoman Gwen Margolis for interrupting her: “You’re going to leave here in a body bag if you keep this up.” And in June (according to telephone records obtained by the Tulsa World newspaper), Oklahoma State Rep. Chad Stites angrily told a Tulsa official whose department was badgering him about code violations on Stites’ property that he would “neuter you sons of a (sic) bitches.”

Augusta Mall

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Not My Fault • In September, Robert Rozenhart, now 56, won his 7-year-old lawsuit against Skier’s Sportshop (Edmonton, Alberta) for injuries suffered on his maiden attempt to in-line skate, which came after a Skier’s employee tried unsuccessfully to tell Rozenhart not to venture out until the store’s instructor arrived to help him.

Rozenhart skated away anyway, and was on a downward incline when he first realized he did not know how to stop.

• In October, Kevin William Presland, 44, commenced his lawsuit against the James Fletcher Hospital in Newcastle, Australia, in which he is asking to be financially compensated because, he said, hospital personnel released him prematurely after a brief psychiatric admission in 1995 and thus made it easy for him to kill his

prospective sister-in-law a few hours later.

Presland’s lawyer acknowledges that nothing can be done to help the woman’s family but says Presland, at least, deserves a payoff. The hospital says Presland was calm and rational and that it had no legal basis for detaining him.

• James Anibella filed a federal lawsuit in October challenging the constitutionality of the Colorado law that sets a voter registration deadline of 29 days before an election, a deadline that Anibella admitted he knew about but was too busy to bother with; Anibella characterizes the 29-day deadline as merely “some snafu in the law.” And after Bryan Furrow, 17, was charged in Manchester, Conn., in August with masturbating in front of 10 children (and sexually touching five of them), his mother, Lenora Furrow, told reporters that Bryan had simply “made a wrong judgment call.”

Weird Workplaces • Conscientious workers at the ARO Campulung auto plant in Romania offered in October to help pay off the company’s debts by selling their sperm to a fertility clinic in the city of Timisoara, at the equivalent of (U.S.) $50 a session.

Said the plant’s union leader, “We have found (a solution) that even the best economists have never thought of.”

(However, to pay the equivalent (U.S.) $20 million debt in full would require 400,000 sessions, or 400 sessions for each of the 1,000 males at the plant.)

• In October, all 21 volunteer firefighters of Elgin, Iowa, submitted letters of resignation after they were told they could no longer keep beer at the firehouse. (Later in the month, they backed off in exchange for the City Council’s agreeing to open an investigation of Councilwoman Jean Roach, who is the person who allegedly first ratted them out to the city’s insurance carrier.)

Least Competent Criminals • Adventures with gasoline: Octavio Soto, 44, and Jose Cezares, 23, were hospitalized with third-degree burns in Fitchburg, Mass., in September when they attempted to saw into the vehicle gas tank in which they had hidden $100,000 worth of cocaine; an errant spark from their sawing created a flash fire. And two men escaped after an unsuccessful attempt to rob a guy filling up at the Swifty Service Station in Indianapolis in October; the victim merely flicked the gasoline hose at the men, dousing them and sending them scampering.

Latest Politically Correct Thinking • In October, the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child told Great Britain it should repeal its parentalright-to-spank law because spanking violates an international corporal-punishment treaty (which the U.S. has declined to honor, as well). In September, the North Tyneside (England) Council advised a local business group not to hold the annual children’s Christmas caroling contest this year because it would be a bad experience for the kids who did not win. In October, Mayor Shelton Richardson of North Randall, Ohio, charging racism, proposed to make it illegal for any gas station to make customers pay before pumping (despite a marked recent increase in customer “drive-offs”).

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

the years. Here’s your future rallying cry: Be your own genie in 2003.

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology place. The important point is to fully engage your imagination as you marry your fortunes to someone or something that lifts you up out of yourself.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

“Expect the unexpected or you won’t find it.”

That’s an epigram formulated by the ancient Greek sage Heraclitus; it’s also the name of a book by creativity expert Roger Von Oech; and now it’s the centerpiece of your horoscope, Aries. As smart as you are, your steel-trap mind sometimes closes prematurely. And you can’t afford to let that happen now. Open your expectations as wide as they’ll go.

Be as fresh and innocent as you can stand to be.

Make yourself fully available for the novel fun that’s brewing at the frontiers of your world.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

I’ve worked hard at learning to love all the astrological signs equally. When I launched this column years ago, I confess I had favorites, but since then I’ve forged myself into a paragon of objectivity. Having said that, I admit that I still understand one tribe best: my own sign, Cancer. I’ve also accumulated evidence that the twists and turns of my life story often have parallels to the destinies of my fellow Crabs. That’s why I recommend that you proceed as if you’ll soon be awash in fresh ideas about how to reinvent your work and make adjustments in your long-term job strategies. Over the years I’ve often crystallized new career goals in the weeks before the solstice.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“I have not used my darkness well,” mourns poet Stanley Moss in his book, Asleep in the Garden.

He’s right about that. His forays into the realm of shadows lead to precious little redemption. “One fine day/ I shall fall down . . . in a prison of anger,” he moans in one poem. “In this country I planted not one seed,” he announces elsewhere. Other samples: “vomit is the speech of the soul;” “We die misinformed;” “How goes a life? Something like the ocean/ building dead coral.” But enough. Suffice it to say that Moss is your anti-role model for the coming week, Taurus. Treat your darkness as a source of disguised treasure; as a repository of raw material that will fuel future breakthroughs; as a place where you go to practice the high art of redemption.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

than a foot 31 Varied group 34 Extra-large and others 38 Second part of what’s hidden 42 Provincial one 43 Orally convey 44 Trio after Q 45 “Too bad” 47 Erases 50 Diversified publishing giant 53 Tune from the past 55 Husk 56 End of what’s hidden 61 Half of it is a nickel 62 Italian-American film vamp Naldi 63 Dumb film brother 64 Decorated pilots

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE

O S S A

H I N T A T L A P P

I V T U B E

O V E R F S P I T U L U N L

N G A E I C E G L D I O U E L L D I O U A S H R D U E C R C I O U O N S U R I O R O D S A O E D R

B E E S S I N U S U R G E

S T E P O V K E E R E N C S H A S T A T R E A R

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You’re living large these days, Sagittarius. I predict that your life will have synchronistic resonance with several historical events. For instance, Dec. 6, 1933 was the first day in 13 years Americans could legally drink alcoholic beverages, and Dec. 6, 2002 will bring the end of a noxious prohibition for you. On Dec. 7, 1988, Soviet President Gorbachev eliminated 500,000 troops from his military forces, and any minute now you’ll lower your own defenses. On Dec. 9, 1793, Noah Webster created New York’s first daily newspaper, and you’re about to upgrade your ability to communicate.

The choice between seeking mere survival and stalking interesting success will be thrust in your face again and again in 2003, Virgo. I’m sure you’re already getting a taste of the intensity. Here’s my suggestion for what you can do to get yourself in good shape for it: Become very clear about your deep inner definition of success, as opposed to the superficial, inappropriate, and deceptive definitions that various people have tried to foist on you over

ACROSS 29 O’Neal of “Love Story” 1 Tungsten, e.g.

6 Hickory-smoked 30 Unit smaller

C H A S M

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In her poem about sunflowers, Mary Oliver writes that “the long work / of turning their lives / into a celebration / is not easy.” I’d like to extend that description to the Scorpio tribe. No one labors harder than you to uncover the secret thrills that life holds in its hidden depths; and sometimes, during your meticulous investigations, you almost forget how to laugh. Yet with each passing year, you refine your capacity for mysterious delight; you become more skilled at transforming your life into a festive masterpiece. I predict that the coming weeks will bring a breakthrough in that heroic, slow-motion process.

If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, Leo, you’re currently as foxy and irresistible as it’s possible for you to be. So what are you going to do about it? Sit back on your throne and wait for all your adoring subjects to come to you bearing gifts? Or will you explore far and wide through your kingdom, aggressively plucking the finest blessings from the most radiant and talented virtuosos? If the decision were up to me, I’d opt for the latter. I’d urge you to get out there and hunt down aerobic acts of enjoyment with those who can match your passion.

The astrological moment is ripe for a wedding, Gemini. It doesn’t have to be a traditional union of two lovers, though that would be a fine way to satisfy the cosmic mandate. Here are other forms your ritual merger might take: You could get “married” to your muse; you and a soul friend might pledge your undying platonic love and mutual support; you could link yourself with a symbol that you want to serve as your guiding light; you may even want to tie the knot with your favorite power tool, animal companion, or sacred

items 10 Ensnaring scheme 14 Goner?

15 Overseas carrier 16 Opening words on an agenda 17 Dos 18 Nude dancer St. Cyr 19 Extended periods 20 With 38- and 56-Across, what’s hidden in this puzzle 22 St. Peter was the first 23 Islamic text 24 Stubborn, as a problem 26 Yap, for one, in the western Pacific

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

If I were going to treat you to dinner this week, which of the following two meals would you prefer?

1. A dab of Ostera caviar, a smidgen of carrot flan, a toasted fennel cracker, a dollop of wild rice, a half cup of cannellini bean soup, a few shiitake mushrooms, and a small plate of endive and candied walnut salad. 2. A man’s size sirloin steak smothered in onions and mashed potatoes with gravy. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, Libra, this is a trick question. The correct answer — if you’d like to be in maximum alignment with astrological energies, that is — is the first option. The same goes for most other areas of your life. If given a choice, always opt for bitesized portions of a variety of novel tastes instead of a large helping of familiar fillers.

A W O K E N

G O V E R N O T R H E E I R R A S E D

A V E R S E L Y

T E E N N S E D A M

S Y N E

T O D A T E

S U E D E S

T R A S K

65 Expectant times 66 Necromancer’s

home, in the Bible 67 Mariners 68 Evening in Venezia 69 Swillpot

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DOWN 1 Super: Prefix 2 Academic challenge 3 Glazed square 4 Eskimo’s home 5 Teacher’s instruction 6 Hägar the Horrible’s wife 7 Extraterrestrial 8 Bamako is its capital 9 American toy introduced in 1945 10 “Don’t go so slow!”

11 Noted French landscapist 12 Establish new habits for 13 Walk slowly 21 Strong liking 25 Illustrator who lampooned Tweed 26 Small word 27 Tribeca is next to it 28 Hot or cold soup ingredient 29 Air maneuver 32 Transports in W.W. II: Abbr.

2

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Let me state up front, Capricorn, that I don’t agree with most of the reasons you’re being so

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Puzzle by Patrick Merrell

33 Tail on social or

graph 35 Horrible grade on a test 36 Irish relative 37 Speedy fliers 39 Intrepid 40 Societal woes 41 Avoid

46 Lives as a

penitent 48 Little markets 49 It’s the “D” in a presidential monogram 50 Took on vigorously 51 Heath plant 52 Archer, at times

53 Sea ___ 54 Tibet’s capital 57 One in ___

(20%)

58 South Asians

speak it

59 “Aeneid,” e.g.

60 Your throat

might be this from yelling

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/diversions ($19.95 a year).

Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

hard on yourself. But since you seem impossible to dissuade, the best way to get your disgruntlement out of your system may be to just go ahead and flagellate yourself. May I suggest, though, that you try a variety of whips that’ll make you laugh a little even as you cry? A strand of cooked linguini would be an ideal instrument of torture, as would an old necktie, a string of red licorice, or an eagle feather. (Self-mocking humor is an excellent purgative that reduces the need to administer actual pain.)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Columnist L.M. Boyd once noted that women tend to rebel privately and conform publicly, while men are more inclined to rebel publicly but conform privately. If you fit either description, Aquarius, an adjustment is now in order. The cosmic omens suggest that you will be most successful this week if you rebel both privately and publicly. Not just any old cranky uprising will do the trick, though. You should strive to express your dissent with cheerful compassion. Put a smile in your defiance. Be benevolently joyful as you overthrow the status quo.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

You’re in the pump-up-your-personal-power phase of your cycle, Pisces. Please say the following affirmations. 1. “I am extremely successful in everything I do.” 2. “I possess an inexhaustible supply of creative energy.” 3. “The universe is generous and gives me everything I need.” While these sweetly generic statements will be effective, they don’t go far enough for a lyrical maverick like yourself. I suggest, then, that you add these more evocative affirmations. 4.

“Every day I learn more about how to steal the peaches of immortality from the King of Dragons.”

5. “I spit on the shoes of manipulative power mongers even as I dance for crazy delight in celebration of my liberated perceptions.” 6. “I know exactly why poet Emily Dickinson wrote ‘Soul at the White Heat,’ not ‘Ego at the White Heat.’”

— © Rob Brezsny You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • Touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com/

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GUARANTEED CLASSIFIEDS

* Items for sale by an individual may be placed in our Guaranteed Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for ten weeks or until the item sells, whichever comes first. You must call by 5PM on Friday every two weeks to renew the ad or The Metropolitan Spirit will assume the item has been sold and will delete the ad. There is a $5 reinstatement fee if you forget to renew your ad. All items must indicate price. Guaranteed classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies. Guaranteed Classified ads do not include any automotive vehicles, real estate or pets.

RATES: FREE ADS Merchandise Under $250 $8 ADS Merchandise $251 to $500 $15 ADS Merchandise $501 to $1000 $20 ADS Merchandise over $1000 20 Words or Less - No Exceptions.

ADS MUST BE PREPAID DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. PAYMENT OPTIONS: (ADS MUST BE PREPAID) Cash-Money Order-Check

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Name_______________________________________Daytime Phone_____________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Payment ❑ Cash ❑ Check ❑ Money Order ❑ Visa ❑ MC Card No./Exp. Date_____________________________________________________________ Billing Address (if different from above)_____________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published. The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

I

met this great woman, talked to her on the phone for hours, then took her out one Friday night. We spent five hours together, holding hands, but not kissing. I wanted to kiss her, but I felt she might not be ready.

The following evening, we went out again. I walked her to her dorm after a great date, and thought about kissing her, but the magnetic pull wasn’t there.

She never returned my nex t call.

Eventually, I called again, and talked to her for five minutes (she was heading out the door). She’ll be away all weekend. Should I e-mail her when she’s back? Call once a week? We both come from reputable families, have great job prospects, and already have friends in common.

—Now What?

If Mini-Me isn’t doing a movie, maybe you can hire him to hide in the bushes by your date’s door and pop up with a cue card — “Suck Face Now!” It’s the per fect way to be sure you pick just the right moment to show how hot you are for the girl’s ... reputable family. And hubba-hubba, how ‘bout them big ... job prospects? Bet her name’s scrawled across boys’ bathroom stalls all over campus: “Microsof t wants ‘Amber’...in Ann Taylor career separates.” Ooh, kinky. (Especially if Microsof t is hot ter for Amber than you are.)

People in relationships do say it’s hard to keep their lust alive. Still, most peoples’ lust manages to sput ter on well beyond the second date. There is a chance that you and the rest of the male heterosexual population simply get turned on by dif ferent things: You know — growing up, other guys stowed dad’s “Playboy” under the mat tress; you hid “Burke’s Peerage.” These days, other guys are plot ting to lure their dates into bed; you’re trying to climb into your date’s family tree.

It’s possible that you and the rest of the male heterosexuals are separated by something else; namely, heterosexuality. If you never feel much “magnetic pull” from any of the ladies, pull into a bookstore, and pull away with a copy of “Coming Out: An Act of Love,” by Rob Eichberg, Ph.D., to see whether there are any closets you should be emerging from. If you never feel much “magnetic pull” from anyone, pop into your friendly neighborhood urologist’s, and ask him to check whether Mr. Happy might have decided to take exceptionally early retirement.

If it’s neither medical nor sexual, blame the feminists — or whatever those women call themselves — those who ruin the lives of guys like you by telling them women want men with all the sexual aggression of a big pink stuf fed bunny. Listen to them, and you’ll be the one women call when they need to get their carburetors rebuilt so they can safely drive 12 hours to get naked with somebody else.

If a woman spends five hours with you, and it isn’t because she had you handcuf fed to the back of her patrol car while delivering you to Federal prison, she’s sending you a message. And no, Boy Genius, it isn’t “I want to be your pen pal.” To find out whether it’s “Kiss Me Now,” you’ll have to grab her and try — if you can get her on the phone to ask her out again. If you do, mumble something about how you’d “wanted to take it slow,” on previous dates (“slow” being a euphemism for “comatose”). Keep doing what you have been doing, and in no time, she’ll be breaking out the satin sheets, lighting candles, pouring red wine ... and inviting some other guy over to her place.

My best friend likes a new girl every week. It’s quite sad. I discovered that a girl I’m interested in likes my friend, who also likes her. I e-mailed her to tell her how I feel, and why it would be awkward for her to date my friend.

(Awk ward for me, I mean.) What’s my nex t move? How do I see that she doesn’t become just another one in a long line of his weekly women?

—Concerned Friend Strange that you never before flagged down any in that long, long procession of lambs trot ting up the ramp into the wolf’s jaws. Still, it is nice to see a man who stands up for what’s right. Eventually. Whenever it coincides with what he’s af ter. It’s kind of like saying you’re a vegetarian, except on the nights you eat fish, chicken, beef, pork, and any neighborhood pets that strike your fancy. Yo, Iago, you’re some friend. If you were so concerned about what your friend’s doing to women, you would have said something to him. Of course, you could be rushing over this minute to do just that. Probably in a Cadillac Escalade with a “Greenpeace” sticker right over the tailpipe.

— © 2002, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon

171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

Classifieds Auctions

Equipment Christmas Special

Free Vacation Get-A-Way While supplies last w/purchase of Wolf f Tanning Bed Payments From $25/month FREE Color Catalog 1-800-781-5173 www.np.etstan.com (12/26#7879)

www.metspirit.com Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccoor.com

Services Nitime Cleaning Service

Need someone to clean your home, but you need them to come at night or on the weekend?

Let me clean it!

Available nights and weekends.

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20 years experience.

Af ter 6pm call 706-228-3556 Call today for FREE quote.

(12/26#7901)

Talk Line BORED HOUSEWIVES Swingers! Bisexuals! * Live One-on-One * 1-702-216-3500 .66¢ - $1/min. cc/checks 1-900-420-0420 Ex t. 165 $2.95/min. 18+ T-tone (11/28#7902)

MARLBORO STATION Your Party Station

Live Entertainment

Fri, Sat & Sun 18 to Party • 21 to Drink Name___________________________________________________

1019 Beverly Heights Drive • Augusta, Ga. • 706-228-4848 One block from Applebee's/Washington Road

Address________________________________________________ DOB___________Email___________________________________ $1 off Admission w/ coupon 141 Marlboro Station, Aiken • 803-644-6485

www.marlboro.4mg.net

• Spa/Clinical Facials • Waxing • Peels/Glycolic • Nails • Massage

For Great Christmas Gifts Give Gift Certificates

Hot High Energy Dance Music And Laser Light Show

Dermatologist on Staff

Friday • 12/6 Mother Kibble READINGS BY

Saturday • 12/7 Mallory Bishop

MRS. GRAHAM Since 1997 from California

SPECIALS $39 Mon - Tues only

1 Hr Session Open: 8am-8pm Mon-Sat By appt.

Gift Certificates Available Advanced Chiropractic 1944 Walton Way, Suite H • Augusta

706-772-4989 Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr.

Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 803-474-1314 (12/05#7914)

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Do you want clarification in your life or help with decisions?

Try Angel Harp Readings

Sessions with the angels

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Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and crystal readings. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Professional Massage By experienced male.

Designed for healthy men 18 - 45.

To relieve stress and rela x entire body Discount for all hotel clients Out/hotel only.

706-739-9139 (12/12#7920)

Massage Therapy $5.00 OFF, call 803-441-0001

Miscellaneous For Sale Small Truck Toolbox. Metal with tonneau cover for bed. $50.00, 803-278-2669 (02/06#7919) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– White Wicker Rocker, EC $75.00 706-5410656 (12/26#7878) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Kindercraft Crib, White enamel wide slats excellent condition. Linen drawer pulls out from underneath w/ mat tress $200.00 Call Kim, 706-733-0031, Leave message.

(01/30#7913) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Boxwood Shrub, 3 years old, 18 inches tall, $2.50 Call 706-863-3518 (12/19#7871) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Golf Clubs. Several golf clubs: custom set of irons ($95.00), Mizuno driver ($35.00), 2 fairway woods ($20.00) 706-495-9900 (01/30#7911)

Club Argos The Friendliet Bar in the CSRA Weekend Cover is $4 & 1st Drink is Always FREE!!

Open Every Day at 9:00pm THURSDAY : Karaoke Night No Cover.

If you can sing or if you can't, come entertain your friends!

FRIDAY: $6 Gets You All The Well & Draft You Want!

The Argos Deville Show Cast will be presenting Julianna & Petite DeJon Ville!

SATURDAY: Mystery Guest Entertainer hosted by our A rgos Deville Show Cast $6 Gets You All The Well & Draft You Want!

WEDNESDAY: $6 All You Can Drink Draft UPCOMING EVENTS:

THE COLISEUM

Mountain Bike, Gary Fisher Big Sur, 18” frame, Indy C, New velociraptors, completely rebuilt $400. 706-722-3448. (01/23#7903) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Golf Clubs-Taylor Made irons super steel.

Rifle shaf ts reg. flex 3-PW $250, 706-6507487. (01/09#7896) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 6 New Patio Chairs, Outside - Mar tha Stewar t - Paid $360.00 - Sell $180.00, Call 279-0447 (02/06#7917) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– RCA VHS-C Camcorder. CC6263. Brand new in box with ALL accessories. $249.

OBO. No reasonable of fer refused. 803-4418744 (12/19#7875) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– HP882 Deskjet Printer, 12000DPI, Parallel Connection Printer Sof tware, Like New 706738-8551, $125.00 OBO. (12/05#7859)

Drink Specials: Wed - $7 Wet N' Wild Fri & Sat - $9 All You Can Drink Draft Sat - $2 Bud/Bud Light

Hot Dog Buffet $2.99

Open Mon-Fri 7pm-3am Sat 7pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

www.ColiseumAugusta.com

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

706/829-2676

OR

706/798-9060

M E T R O S P I R I T

Alt. Lifestyles

Augusta Now Has Its Own Skin & Wellness Center

Help Wanted Dancers Wanted Club Argos is seeking local male dancers, Please Call 481-8829 (12/05#7906)

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Mind, Body & Spirit

SPECIAL READINGS WITH WITH CARD

BANKRUPTCY AUCTION SATURDAY DECEMBER 7th 10am (preview Fri. 4-7pm @ 2 hrs. Prior to sale) TEXAS FURNITURE BARN 3420 DEANSBRIDGE RD. (HW Y 1) DEALERS WELCOME, THIS IS A COURT ORDERED LIQUIDATION AUCTION. CASE#02-12748-JSD. OVER 3 FLOORS, @ $100,000.00 OF BRAND NEW FURNITURE. GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO BUY AT YOUR PRICE. LIVINGROOM, DININGROOM & DINETTE SETS, BEDROOM STES. LAMPS, END TABLES, PICTURES, FUTON BEDS, BOX SPRING & MATTRESS SETS, BAR STOOLS, MIRRORS, MISC. BRIC-A-BRAC. THE BASEMENT IS FULL OF PARTS, SUPPLIES, STORAGE ETC. EVERYTHING MUST GO, BRING YOUR TRUCK. TERMS: 10% BUYERS PREMIUM, APPROVED CHECK W/ BANK LETTER OF APPROVAL/CASH, VISA OR MASTERCARD. CHECKS PAYABLE TO THE TRUSTEE OF COURT. ALL SALES FINAL BUILDING FOR SALE BY TRUSTEE. SOUTH AUGUSTA AUCTION CO. INC. GAL 2666 PHONE - 798-8996

81

Friday, December 20 - Xmas Party with all male revue Saturday, December 21 - GOTH NIGHT w/ live band

Argos welcomes Gay, TVTS, BDSM, Bi, Swingers & all others.

481-8829 Argos opens daily @ 9:00pm Email: clubargos@aol.com Located @ 1923 Walton Way across from Ming Wah Parking and Entrance in back of Heckle St.

Travel

D E C 5 2 0 0 2

82 M E T R O S P I R I T

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908

D E C

Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

,call 1-866-832-4685

To respond to ads using a

2 0 0 2

SINCERE BEAUTY Sophisticated SBCF, 23, 5’2”, 140lbs, interested in seeking educated, independent, employed SBM, 23-30, long walks, stimulating conversation, friendship, dating, more. ☎849311 GENUINE GEMINI Sweet SWF, 21, 6’, in medical field, enjoys Nascar, long walks. Seeking tall SWM, 2535, with similar interests. Friendship first, possible LTR. ☎848654 I LIKE LIFE Single mom, 32, looking for a man with a vibrant personality and a love for living. ☎844138 I’LL WRITE YOU A POEM! SF, 25, 5’4’’, 150lbs, Virgo, enjoys reading, cooking, music, movies. Seeking a man who likes to try new things. ☎841437 OLD-FASHIONED VALUES Honest, relaxed, christian SBF, 56, Aries, N/S, enjoys cooking, dining out, quiet times at home. Seeking marriage-minded, financially secure SBM, 50-56, N/S, for LTR. ☎829149 WILLING TO MAKE TIME Busy, hard-working SBF, 31, nurse, mother of one, Taurus, N/S, enjoys traveling, walks, shopping. Seeking SBM, 31-39, N/S, for LTR. ☎836074 COMPATIBLE? Funny, smart SBF, 19, fun-loving, friendly, enjoys movies, clubbing, hand holding, dancing. Seeking SM, with like interests and qualities for friendship and possible LTR. ☎701088 TAKE A CHANCE Laid-back SF, 30, enjoys dining in/out, going to the movies, church activities.

Seeking SM, secure in himself to share those things. ☎767576 BRAINS & BEAUTY Spirited executive SBF, 41, 5’8”, 138lbs, Gemini, enjoys dancing, dining, intellectual conversation, laughter, picnics, adventures.

Seeking humorous, classy gentleman, 3545, with kindred spirit. ☎751454 SKATE, RIDE, BOWL, ETC. African-American mom, 23, 5’, 159lbs, mother of two, currently in school, looking for honest, trustful family-man, 20s-30s, who’ll give his 100%. ☎751642 WORK OF ART Voluptuous SBF, 28, loves fishing, swimming, cooking. Looking for a man with the same passions. ☎747775 TWO PIECES OF A PUZZLE Full-figured, very attractive, independent woman, 31, 5’2”, seeks someone special to spend time with. You: honest, fun-loving, varied interests. ☎685405 I’LL COOK Fun-loving, intelligent SBF, 22, Capricorn, N/S, student, mother of three, seeks man, 21-30, to accompany me in life. Kids a plus. ☎647824 I’M YOUR VENUS SWF, 44 (looks younger), 5’, blonde/blue, with a full-figure, seeks HM, 5’5”-6’, who is secure. ☎747133 IMPORT FROM EUROPE This foreign born SWF, 40, Aries, N/S, seeks a fine BM, 35-50, smoker, for friendship and dating. ☎744559 ATTENTION... your miracle date is in Augusta. SF seeks military male, 28-50, with good qualities and values. Children ok, race open. ☎732101

COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 48, enjoys antiquing, travel, dining out, movies and more. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. ☎732056 AQUARIUS HERE SWF, 18, brown/brown, loves, reading, travel, movies, outdoors. Seeking mature companion with an easygoing attitude, for friendship, possibly more. ☎732141 GOD LOVER Athletic, shy SBF, 33, 5’5”, 160lbs, Gemini, smoker, enjoys church, dining out, cooking, traveling, shopping, reading. Seeking outgoing man, 35-50, smoker, for LTR. ☎709843 LOOKING FOR FRIEND SWF, 29, 5’7”, 129lbs, Gemini, N/S, enjoys sports cars, movies, and more. Seeking SWM, 21-35, kids ok, for friendship first. ☎706587 NEED A SPARK... try me. Attractive, petite SWF, 57, fun, friendly and affectionate, raising grand children, seeks SWM, mid 50s-60s, trustworthy with open heart, for dining, movies, music.

Friendship first. ☎702738 NO GAMES PLEASE DWF, 33, 5’10”, full-figured, brown/hazel, self-employed mother of three, seeks WM, 25-45, honest, faithful, devoted, for fun, friendship, LTR. ☎680330 ABSOLUTE ALTRUISM SBF, 42, 5’7”, 125lbs, seeks emotionally secure gentleman, 35+, with honor, wit, and wisdom. ☎605946 STRONG WILL SBF, 45, outgoing, attractive, youthful, enjoys writing, music, traveling. Seeking mature, strong-willed SBM, 35-48, for friendship. ☎965893 ALL I THINK ABOUT IS YOU SBF, 28, enjoys cooking, reading, traveling, spending time with my kids/family. Looking for a male, 25-40, who likes similar things, friendship first. ☎672206 WANNA KNOW A SECRET? I’m available! BF, 47, serious about life, seeks single African-American male, 40-50, with similar sentiment. ☎660976 SELF-SUFFICIENT... hard-working DWF, 38, full-figured, Leo, smoker, with one child, seeks DWM, 38-50, smoker, children are fine. ☎659397 TIME TO HAVE A BLAST Honest SWF, 43, enjoys spending time with my daughter, bowling, dining out, Nascar, movies, baseball games, camping. Seeking honest, genuine SWM, 43-50, for fun and friendship. ☎554752 NOW IS THE TIME SWPF, 55, likes dancing, walks, movies, the lake, dining out. Seeking SWM, N/S, 48-65, for fun and friendship, and who knows what later! ☎653476 POSITION AVAILABLE! Mother of two lovely daughters, 34, employed with the Board of Education, seeks SW/HM, 33-48, to begin with friendship and possibly evolve into an LTR. ☎651992 KIND-HEARTED, REAL Petite, green-eyed SWC mother, 39, Scorpio, N/S, seeks WM, 33-45, N/S, to build a love that lasts a lifetime. ☎648419 TIME WITH YOU Voluptuous BF, 39, seeks a BM, N/Drugs, social drinker ok. I enjoy reading, dining out, movies, church activities. ☎646176 IN SEARCH OF MY SOULMATE He must be a tall (5’10”-6’4”), Christian man, 42-55, N/S, who is honest, faithful, devoted and lively. I am a SBPF, 5’6”, 150lbs, and looking for LTR. ☎641005 TAKE IT SLOW SWF, 49, 5’6”, reddish/blonde hair, outgoing personality, wants to build a serious relationship with a SWM. ☎642309

BIG AND BEAUTIFUL BF, 43, brown/hazel, loves free time, books, weekend travel. Seeking a mature companion with an easygoing attitude, for friendship, dating, and more. ☎643199 THE MAN OF MY DREAMS... is easy to get along with, and has a great sense of humor and fun. Single mom, 28, 5’, brown/blue, is looking for her soulmate. ☎640587 MOVIES AND MORE Seeking a man with a lively attitude who likes movies. I am a SF, 42, looking for love. ☎636995 GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor. Seeking WM, 60-70, who’s honest and caring. ☎574264 THE BELLS ARE RINGING Slim SBCF, 29, 5’3”, student, employed, Pisces, N/S, seeks marriage minded BM, 27-36, N/S, for life’s journey. ☎633606 WE’LL STILL B TOGETHER... on down the road. SWF, 23, Capricorn, N/S, seeks sweet, gentle BM, 22-35, who is interested in a friendship. Let’s become a family! ☎631605 WHO NEEDS A HEADLINE? SWF, 33, full-figured, blonde/blue, Pisces, smoker, likes hiking, camping, and quiet evenings at home. Seeking WM, 25-45, smoker, for LTR. ☎628677 SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL Multiracial SF, 56, 5’7”, animal lover, mother professor of languages, loves beaches, travel, collecting art, reading, and listening to music (Latin and classical). Seeking SM, to share life and love. ☎610690 LONELY WOMAN SBF, 32, single mom, seeks SWPM, quality military man who has old-fashioned values, financially secure, for LTR. ☎591885 OPEN-MINDED Fun-loving, humorous SF, 18, 5’4”, blond/ blue, likes shopping, clubbing, sports.

Seeking SM for friendship and casual dating. ☎589903 START AS FRIENDS SF, 33, likes reading, writing poetry, fishing, travel. Looking for a man who needs a nice woman in his life. ☎579852 PECAN TAN SF, 34, 5’3’’, 145lbs, looking for a kind, caring, and sweet man, 25-45, who can be my friend first. ☎581256 SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED SF, 33, 5’, full-figured, cocoa complexion, looking for friendship leading to relationship with SM, 25-40, who doesn’t play games. ☎579505

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net MAKE MY HEART LAUGH SBF, 22, 5’8”, 155lbs, part-time student, seeks sensual, kind man with a great heart, for movies, dining out, and open-minded conversation. ☎565120 ARE YOU THE ONE? College educated SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, movies, traveling. Seeking same in SWM, 40-50, similar interests. ☎965910 AN AUTUMN SPECIAL Hard-working WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs, blonde/brown, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. Seeking WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. ☎965904

LET’S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5’9”, 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401 POET SEEKS MUSE SBM, 45, loves all sports, board games, fishing, travel. Seeking a woman to share movies, dining and romance with. ☎843396 ARE YOU LONESOME? SM, 37, 6’5’’, 350lbs, would like to meet a nice female, 18-40, to get to know first. Let’s see where this leads! ☎780940

HEY LADIES! Outgoing happy SM, 24, 5’6”, 150lbs, slender and fit, brown complexion, braided hair, seeks SF, who’s open-minded and down for whatever. ☎767971 OLD-FASHIONED GUY SHM, 34, 5’4”, 170lbs, Virgo, N/S, writes and loves country western music, helping the homeless, church. Seeking SHF, 32-36, N/S, with similar interests. ☎835306 DARE TO DREAM Outgoing SBM, 21, 5’9”, 165lbs, Capricorn, N/S, loves going out, outdoors, children.

Seeking SWF, 20-26, N/S, for possible family. ☎835444 EARLY XMAS GIFT Very romantic SBM, 31, 6’1”, 255lbs, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, cooking. Seeking stable SBF, 25-35, for friendship first, leading to something longterm. ☎837718 LET’S TALK SM, 28, 6’5”, 320lbs, enjoys sports, reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking attractive, intelligent, sensual SF, with similar interests, for dating and more. ☎796390 SOMETHING SO RIGHT I am looking for a WF who likes long walks, romantic evenings and bowling. SBM, 29, is looking for love. ☎646710 LET YOUR HAIR DOWN SHM, 26, Leo, N/S, lives a regular, clean-cut lifestyle. Seeking a petite, active woman, 1830, sophisticated southern belle, with back woods babe heart. ☎790345 I’M HERE FOR YOU SM, 42, teacher, seeks honest SF, 21-42, for friendship, possibly more. I like music, movies, conversation. How about you? ☎779153

Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

5

Mobile Dating. The easiest way to meet great people.

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ABBREVIATIONS

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

Become a member of Augusta’s hottest new way to meet singles! Call today!

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 To respond to ads using a KNOCK-KNOCK, WHO’S THERE? Call me and find out. SWCM, 34, Cancer, N/S, loves to tell jokes. Seeking WF, 25-39, N/S, for friendship and relationships. ☎775609 CALL ME SM, 51, fun-loving, enjoys sporting events, movies, dancing more. Seeking fun woman with similar interests. ☎761290 SEEKS MATURE Spontaneous, sincere SM, 20, seeks older, loving lady, to explore life with, possible LTR. ☎767728 LET’S BE FRIENDS Outgoing, active SM, 31, enjoys sports, traveling, movies, dining out, and fun.

Seeking SF,with same interests. ☎769857 FIT FOR A QUEEN Restaurant manager SWM, 40, 6’, black/ green, moustache, enjoys outdoors, hunting, fishing, camping, movies. Seeking big beautiful woman, 25-50. Tell me about you. ☎754399 LOVING SOUL MATE SWM, 60, 5’8’, 160lbs. Enjoys sports, long walks and quiet evenings. ISO caring, affectionate SF, 45-55 for friendship, possible LTR. ☎668813 HOPELESS ROMANTIC Hard-working DWM, 41, 5’10”, 140lbs, N/S, N/D, two kids, enjoys movies, bowling, fishing. Seeking easygoing WF, 35-45, with similar interests. Friendship first, possible LTR. ☎631228 SEEKING CHRISTIAN WOMAN Friendly, committed, independent SBCM, 42, 5’11”, enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking attractive, committed, independent SBCF for friendship, possible LTR. ☎796760 YOU WIN MY HEART SWM, 44, N/S, seeks clean, sincere, honest, intelligent, wise, crafty SBF, 35-45, N/S, for life mate and deep friendship. ☎704669 GREAT CATCH SWM, 53, enjoys church, music, dining out, travel and more. Seeking kind, understanding SCF, with similar interests. ☎732175 CHANGE R LIVES 4 THE BEST Outdoorsy SWM, 57, enjoys fishing, quiet conversation seeks the right woman to be at my side. Let’s accomplish much in life!

Looking for a SW/HF, 45-60. ☎718103 ARE YOU 26-48?

WM, brown/blue, likes fishing, camping, scuba diving, travel, and woodworking. If you would like to jon me, call! ☎715263 RESPECT AND DESIRE SBM, 37, 5’8”, 164lbs, hazel eyes, Virgo, N/S, enjoys walks, traveling, mountains, cooking, candlelight dinners. Seeking hardworking SBF, 38-55, business owner, for LTR. ☎707443 TRUE TO HEART SWM, 42, 6’, brown/blue, no children, home-owner, Pisces, N/S, seeks spontaneous SW/A/HF, 21-42, loves the beach, movies, sailing, bike rides, for faithful relationship. ☎709121 R WE A MATCH? SWM, 40, 6’1”, 160lbs, brown/blue, enjoys classic rock, movies, dining, more. Seeking nice, friendly SF, 25-45. ☎965931 ANYONE OUT THERE? SWM, 51, 5’11”, 190lbs, brown/green, seeks SF, for conversations, casual dates and maybe something more down the line. ☎701908 TAKE THE CHANCE Open-minded SM, 25, father, loves Nascar car and Nascar car races, walks, time with someone special. Seeking caring, considerate, commitment-minded woman, for friendship and LTR. ☎699632 LET’S DANCE! DWM, 37, seeks WF, kids ok, with a vivacious personality, a love for dancing, and an interest in relationship. ☎645955 GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND SWM, 44, piano player, in search of WF, 3555, H/W proportionate, N/D, N/S, drug-free, who enjoys music and backyard swings. ☎695975

PAINT THE TOWN RED Medical student DWM, 41, just moved from Atlanta, seeks casual relationship with intelligent, articulate SBF, who knows Augusta and can show me the sites, dining, and dancing. ☎675071 THE TRAVELER European SWM, 44, loves traveling, reading, dining out, sports, ping pong, soccer.

Interested in meeting female, who loves traveling, reading and dining out as well. ☎685545 FUN-LOVING SBM 38, 5’7”, 170lbs, waiting in the wings to spot the woman of my dreams. Friends first, work together on loving/understanding relationship. Enjoy dining out, traveling, quiet evenings. Seeking SF, 25-45. ☎672722 READY DWPM, 5’5”, 155lbs, 54, stable, secure, fit, pleasant, educated, adventurous, N/S, who enjoys most anything. Seeking W/A/HF, petite, pleasant, intelligent, active, secure, honest, positive attitude, caring, open, N/S, for LTR. ☎672623 ONE LOVE SBPM, 28, 5’11”, Capricorn, N/S, business, enjoys reading, cooking, music, movies.

Seeking woman, willing to try new things.

Age, race, weight unimportant. ☎656945 WHAT ABOUT YOU? Tall, blue-eyed blond Southern man, 6’4”, 265lbs, mows lawns for a living. Looking to meet simple, quiet gal, around 25, who likes the country lifestyle. ☎651620 I’M SERIOUS! ARE YOU? SWM, 25, 5’10”, 165lbs, brown/blue, wants to share quiet evenings at home with a sweet caring SWF. ☎644397 NOT A JOCK 5’11”, 40, brown/blue, 200lbs, handsome, intelligent, business owner, part-time chef, some real estate, enjoys making money, traveling, jazz, rock. Seeking beautiful, broad minded, peace-loving woman, 2535, no Nascar please. ☎570889 YOUNG LOVE SWM, 19, fun-loving, humorous, Virgo, smoker, loves clubbing and sports events.

Seeking WF, 18-23, for casual dating, perhaps something greater. ☎625248 SENSITIVE, BUT STRONG SBM, 31, 190lbs, athletic build, handsome, enjoys church, working out, movies, and sports. Seeking woman, 21-35, with similar values. ☎626248

YOU WON’T BE SORRY Real, honest, and sweet GBM, 18, 5’11”, dark-skinned, Gemini, N/S, seeks friendly GBM, 18-35, not into games. I’m ready for a commitment. ☎831448 NEW TO THIS BiWM, 49, 5’10”, thick, black/blue, Libra, N/S, seeks friendly, fun-loving GWM, 35-65, N/S, for possible LTR. ☎839145 IT’S YOUR CALL GWM, young 46, 5’11”, 200lbs, brown/ brown, masculine, outgoing, enjoys travel, dining out, movies, shopping, Nascar.

Would like to meet honest, passionate GM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. Serious inquiries only. ☎792384 FREE SPIRIT SBM, 24, loves having fun, enjoys tennis, racquetball, waterskiing. Seeking SM, to share a night out on the town, friendship and maybe a lasting relationship. ☎768054 BEYOND SWM, 32, 5’11”, 155lbs, light hair, looking for good time with GM, 18-45, ☎966003

How do you

TAKE THAT CHANCE Brown-skinned GBM, 35, 5’11”, 150lbs, who likes quiet evenings, reading, dining out, movies and stimulating conversations.

Seeking SB/HM, 30-50, for friendship, possibly more. ☎753854 SHOW ME THE TOWN... and what there is to do around here. Me: SWM, 42, N/S, new to the area. You: SWM, under 51, anxious to show me how wonderful Augusta is. ☎719366 LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5’8’, 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 I KNOW WHERE IT’S AT SBM, 25, practical yet fun, outgoing, Aquarius, smoker, seeks a masculine, alluring, well-rounded BM, 23-45, smoker, with his priorities in order. ☎695448 YOU NEVER KNOW Fun-loving, easygoing GWM, 51, 5’11”, 198lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, fishing, walking. Seeking interesting GWM, 18-33, who’s full of life, for casual relationship, possibly more. ☎676662 OUTGOING SEEKS SAME SM, 35, who enjoys gardening, working out, sports, fishing, long walks in the park, would like to meet an outgoing man for LTR. ☎594617 YOUNG MAN WANTED GWM, 22, brown/brown, pretty good-looking, in search of cute, down-to-earth GWM for movies, dinners, shopping, roller blading. ☎576230 GIVE LOVE; GET LOVE BACK SM, 35, 6’2’’, 190lbs, black hair, medium build, seeks understanding, achieved man who is escalating himself in life. ☎576303 ARE YOU MR. RIGHT? SWM, 51, 5’8’’, 150lbs, likes dining out, quiet evenings, walks and hugs. Seeking SWM, 20-35, slim build, with similar interests. ☎584644 SEEKING MAN OF COLOR GWM, 31, 5’8”, 164lbs, brown/gray, moustache, goatee, down-to-earth, very openminded, seeks SB/HM, 23+, for friendship, maybe more. ☎575272 OUT SPOKEN SWM, 32, 5’11”, 145lbs, enjoys camping, fishing, Nascar. Seeking laid-back WM, 2335, for LTR. ☎560095

,call 1-866-832-4685

NEW TO TOWN GWM, 31, 5’8”, 175lbs, brown/brown, masculine, country boy, passionate, dedicated, HIV positive. Seeking GWM, 30-45, for LTR. ☎966013

CHURCH-GOER SBF, 38, Virgo, N/S, heavy-duty equipment operator, seeks BF, 30-45. Enjoys motorcycle riding, playing bass guitar. ☎799776 SOMEONE TO LOVE GBF, 21, with brown complexion, seeks femme GBF, 21-30, with no baggage, and her priorities straight. ☎843696 WASTE NO TIME GBF, 36, enjoys dining out, cooking, dining out. Seeking attractive, open-minded, fun, nice GF, 25-45, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965823 ZEST FOR LIFE Articulate, adventurous WF, 32, 5’8”, brown/brown, enjoys animals, running, movies and dining. Looking for WF, 25-40, for friendship. ☎965827 GIVE ME A RING Cute SBF, 30-something, seeks attractive SF, 25-45, for friendship, maybe more. No games. ☎965825 VERY PRETTY SBF...

28, two children, confident, feminine, seeks female, 20-35, with the same qualities, who is not into head games. ☎785531 A GOOD HEART SF, 39, goes to church, works for a living, likes having fun, going on trips. Seeking a similar female, 37-49. ☎780112 SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP Attractive, feminine SWF, 41, 5’4”, seeks a very open-minded WF, 35-48, for fun and exciting times. ☎775074 RAINBOW SEEKER Seeking my butch. SWF, 41, 5’2”, enjoys movies, walks, reading, quality snuggle time. Honesty is a must. Seeking SWF, with no drama, 30+. ☎754885

JOIN ME GBF, 32, nurse, part-time student, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, shopping, traveling. Seeking casual relationship with woman, 25-45. ☎711628 BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN SBF, 58, mature, attractive, young-at-heart, Sagittarius, N/S, seeks woman, 48-62, N/S, who is ready to live again and likes traveling, playing cards, and bowling. ☎691703 TO THINE OWN SELF... be true. SBF, 27, 5’5”, 165lbs, Sagittarius, N/S, has 2 kids, enjoys walks, movies, and quiet times. Seeking an honest woman, 2735, N/S, for friendship first and foremost. ☎693934 IT’S ALL IN YOUR HANDS Nice, available stud wanted. I’m a teacher in Augusta, 40, who would like to start a friendship with another female, and progress into something more. ☎664842 BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SEEKS... beautiful woman. I’m 5’3”, physically fit, 132lbs, would like to meet fit female, 25-40, who would enjoy going to movies. Please be discreet. ☎661884 I’D LOVE YOU TO LOVE ME SBF, 41, no children, loves to read, chat on the internet, and more. Seeking a woman who is a romantic at heart, very good-looking, loves pets, family and God. ☎645876 GET TO KNOW THE REAL ME Dark-skinned young woman, 23, 4’9”, attractive, fun-loving, nice, caring, honest, laid-back. Seeking GF, 23-29, for casual relationship. ☎635372 I’M LOOKING 4 U Easygoing, loyal SBF, 31, 5’3”, 155lbs, security officer, people person, fun-loving, nice, caring, honest, enjoys bowling, movies, cuddling at home. Seeking trustworthy, outgoing SBF, 26-35, for friendship, maybe LTR. ☎965835 SECURITY GUARD Laid-back female, 41, likes movies, dining out, cooking, quiet evenings. Seeking similar-minded male for companionship. ☎589877 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP Tall, slim, attractive SWF, 34, single mom, enjoys travel. Seeking athletic, easygoing, humorous, fun SWF, 26-45, to go out and have good times. ☎572618 FRIENDSHIP FIRST! Funny, smart, down-to-earth GBF, 5’6”, 125lbs, loves long walks, hand holding.

Seeking GF, 21-30, who likes kids and doesn’t play games. ☎965829 © 2002 TPI GROUP

Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

much more than just a great way to meet people.

to respond using your credit card, call

1-866-832-4685 Calls cost $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+

Phone

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Choose any phone number, home, office or your cellular phone!

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83

Respond to ads on this page by calling 1-900-226-8908.

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

84 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5

■ Automotive Spirit

Free Automotive Ads

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT AND GERALD JONES HONDA

2 0 0 2

Cars 1979 TOYOTA CRESSIDA, runs, new brakes, as is, $350, cash only, 706-738-3065 (727/125) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1980 BMW 528i, new shocks, struts, clutch and clutch slave cylinder, clean car, runs great, $2000, 706-736-4858 (756/1219) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1981 CADILLAC EL DORADO, one owner, very clean car, V8, auto, most power options, many new parts, runs great, $1300 firm, 706-860-6409 (805/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 SUBARU GL, Station Wagon, power everything, rear wiper, lots of new stuff, runs and looks good, but has head gasket leak, $497 OBO, 803-441-8744 (673/1121) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 CHEVY CORSICA, blue, 4dr, needs some TLC, runs good but has been sitting for over a year, $500 OBO, 706-868-1743 (674/1121) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 FORD MUSTANG Convertible, red/white top, 5.0, auto, 2dr, PL&W, AC, clean, runs good, CD, am/fm, $4800, 706742-7701 (752/1219) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 CADILLAC SEVILLE, 4dr, leather, blue, tip top condition, $4000, 706-556-6124 (553/1219) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 FORD TEMPO, 44K, new AC & ignition, less than 2K on tires, one owner, very good condition, $2150, 706-860-0120 (773/1226) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 TOYOTA CAMRY, nice running car, 133K, $1500, 706736-6545 after 4 pm. (779/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 CADILLAC SEVILLE, 4dr, runs good, $3000, 803-640-3078 or 803-648-3443 after 6 pm.

(806/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 NISSAN 300ZX, 5spd, AC, loaded, red, grey cloth, t-tops, CD, new tires, good condition, $6100, 706-833-0797 (671/1121) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

1991 MAZDA MX5, convertible, hard top, white, mint condition, 85.5K, $7400 OBO, 706-7378047 (669/1121) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 BMW 525i, gold, sedan, 154K, all power, leather interior, good condition, $5990, 706-4959900 (782/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 GEO STORM, blue, cold AC, 100K, $1300 OBO, 706855-2288, 706-785-0163 (726/125) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 MAZDA PROTEGE, PS/PB, AC, power window locks, sunroof, cruise, CD, great gas milage, reliable transportation, $1500 OBO, 706-399-7145 (701/1128) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 BUICK LESABRE, green, 57K, local trade, great first car, P3168A, $4995, Johnson Motor Company, 706-724-0111 (785) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 BUICK ROADMASTER, Estate wagon, fully loaded, XC, 60K, has Bruno Scooter lift model V550, $6000, 803-279-5857 (736/1212) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 FORD TAURUS, very good condition, new tires and brakes, low mileage 66K, loaded, as is, reduced, for quick sale, $3000 (808/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 FORD TEMPO, white w/red interior, auto, 4dr, clean, runs, new am/fm, CD, AC, 4cyl, clear title, $1600, call after 5 pm 706-560-2025 (800/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 CADILLAC EL DORADO, 92K, new tires, hard pressed to find one any nicer, $8900, won’t last, 706-373-6425 (739/1212) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 LINCOLN TOWN Car, pearl white, white interior, leather, black tie package, excellent condition, $6800, 706-541-9190 (771/1226) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 BMW 325I, white, standard 5spd, premium package, 70K, XC, no accidents, fairly new tires and brakes, $13,000, 706-7220665 (753/1219) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 MERCURY SABLE, blue,

the power of dreams

GERALD JONES

HONDA 2 0 0 3 G O R D O N H I G H W AY • A U G U S TA , G A • 7 0 6 - 7 3 3 - 2 2 1 0 • W W W. G E R A L D J O N E S H O N D A . C O M

clean, maintained, good condition, may be seen at Washington Road, above Center West Parkway, $4200, 706-736-7143 (772/1226) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS Supreme, black, 23K, one owner, local trade, C2297A, Johnson Motor Company, 706-724-0111 (784) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 TOYOTA TERCEL, new tires, CD changer, 5 spd, C2438A, $4995, Johnson Motor Company, 706-724-0111 (783) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 BUICK CENTURY, white/burgundy, 4dr sedan, 6 cyl, non-smoker, 45K, VGC, $4000 OBO, 706-854-9733 (741/1212) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 CHEVROLET CAMERO, 41K, factory purple, 5spd, 6 cyl, AC, FM, cass, immaculate, one owner, $8000 OBO, 706-8680090 (472/1226) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 GEO SPRINT, beige, 4dr, sedan, AC, cassette, new tires, great condition, $3500 OBO, 803-442-4592 (670/1121) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 LINCOLN TOWN Car, white, leather, loaded, P3191A,

$10,900, Johnson Motor Company, 706-724-0111 (786) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE Spider convertible, red/grey, 78K, 1 owner, service records available, $8500, must sell, divorce, 706-210-0530 (728/125) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 NISSAN 200SX, green, 5spd, cruise, CD, well taken care of, $3400, 706-267-1295 (780/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 FORD NISSAN SX, red, good condition, CD, two door, AC, PW $6000 OBO, 706-8603598 (776/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 PONTIAC GRAND Prix GTP, white, tint windows, 3.4L, V6, well cared for, 129K, Jim 706-721-3365 days or 706-5477878 eve. (754/1219) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 ACURA 3.2TL, Premium, loaded, great ride, new tires, remote keyless entry, power locks & windows, AC, climate control system, Bose radio/cassette/CD, remote sunroof, $11,300, 803279-8326 (738/1212) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 MAZDA MX6, auto, V6, leather, loaded, 67K, XC, female

adult driven, take over payments, details, 803-302-8660 (737/1212) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 CADILLAC DEVILLE Sedan De Elegance, frosted tan, fully loaded On Star, voice activated phone, extended warranty, CD/tape, leather, mint condition, 78K, $18,500, 706-721-1896 (751/1212) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 OLDSMOBILE DELTA 88, gold, leather interior, 30K, P3233A, $7900, Johnson Motor Company, 706-724-0111 (792) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 LEXUS ES300, Coach edition, 35K, loaded with every option, only one owner, $18,999, Acura of Augusta, 800-851-5158 (683) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 LEXUS GS300, black, tan interior, $29,900, Acura of Augusta, 800-851-5158 (678) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 LINCOLN CONTINENTAL, white, 54K, warranty, 100K, new tires, loaded, CD, moonroof, immaculate, one owner, garage kept, looks new, $17,500, 706863-9152 (676/1121) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MAZDA MILLENIA, gold, automatic, leather, sunroof,

$15,995, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (744) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 SATURN SL1, GM off lease, 28K, loaded, power windows, locks, & sunroof, stereo, won’t last long, $6995, Master Pontiac, 706-855-9400 (796) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 ACURA INTEGRA LS, silver, 2dr, 5spd, all power, CD, sunroof, cold-air intake, warranty, XC $15,000 OBO, 706-294-2691 (755/1219) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 CHEVY LUMINA, red, local trade in, great family car, C2152A, $8900, Johnson Motor Company, 706-724-0111 (789) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 DODGE STRATUS SE, extra clean car, one owner, $9995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-733-2210 (712) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 FORD ESCORT ZX2, black, 2dr, auto, 43K, loaded, $6999, Acura of Augusta, Ron Sumler, 800-851-5158 (685) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 MAZDA MIATA, green/tan top, leather, factory warranty, $15,995, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (746)

continued on page 86

CHECK US OUT ONLINE WWW.METSPIRIT.COM

A L L

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S U B A R U

2 0 0 3 B A J A

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

85 M E T R O S P I R I T

The Metropolitan Spirit has a full time, entry level sales position available.

The ideal candidate is ambitious, self-motivated, competitive, persuasive, positive, creative, and a great communicator in person and on paper.

D E C 5

Account executives develop new business, work with clients and production artists to create ads that get results.

If you possess an entrepreneurial drive and are up for a challenge with big rewards, please send your resume, with cover letter to:

2 0 0 2

S TA R T I N G AT $23,995* - All wheel drive

Advertising Sales c/o The Metropolitan Spirit P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax to 706-733-6663 EOE

- Open Cargo bed - Switch back system expands cargo bed into passenger area for hauling longer items - 2.5 liter box engine - Fully independent heavy-duty raised suspension * Plus destination charge, tax, title & fees

GERALD JONES 1801 Gordon Highway, Augusta

706.738.2561

2003 CADILLAC CTS

COME DRIVE ONE TODAY 1122 WALTON WAY AUGUSTA, GA 30901 706-724-0111

Service

WEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;RE A SERVICE COMPANY THAT SELLS GREAT CARS & TRUCKS

86 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2

FREE AUTO CLASSIFIEDS

* Automobiles for sale by an individual may be placed in our FREE Auto Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for six weeks or until the vehicle sells, whichever comes first. After two weeks, if you want to keep running the same ad, you must call The Metropolitan Spirit by 5 p.m. on Friday or we will assume you sold the vehicle and will delete the ad. All vehicles must indicate price. FREE Auto Classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies or dealers.

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE.

GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published.

The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

Name_________________________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone_________________________________________________________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

GUARANTEED CLASSIFIEDS

* Items for sale by an individual may be placed in our Guaranteed Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for ten weeks or until the item sells, whichever comes first. You must call by 5PM on Friday every two weeks to renew the ad or The Metropolitan Spirit will assume the item has been sold and will delete the ad. There is a $5 reinstatement fee if you forget to renew your ad. All items must indicate price. Guaranteed classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies. Guaranteed Classified ads do not include any automotive vehicles, real estate or pets.

RATES: FREE ADS Merchandise Under $250 $8 ADS Merchandise $251 to $500 $15 ADS Merchandise $501 to $1000 $20 ADS Merchandise over $1000 20 Words or Less - No Exceptions.

ADS MUST BE PREPAID DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. PAYMENT OPTIONS: (ADS MUST BE PREPAID) Cash-Money Order-Check

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

Name_______________________________________Daytime Phone_____________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Payment ❑ Cash ❑ Check ❑ Money Order ❑ Visa ❑ MC Card No./Exp. Date_____________________________________________________________ Billing Address (if different from above)_____________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published. The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

continued from page 84 2000 MAZDA MIATA, black, 5spd, PW, CD, appearance package, 47K, $13,500, 706951-0805 (672/1121) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 MERCURY MYSTIQUE, automatic, 30K, $9990, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (748) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 PONTIAC GRAND Am, black, 2dr, coupe, loaded with equipment, 48K, $8999, Acura of Augusta, John Peterson, 800851-5158 (684) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 SATURN SL1, silver, 4dr, AC, am/fm, CD, great condition, $10,000 or take over payments ($299.31/mo.), 706-210-1273 (803/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 BUICK CENTURY Custom, grey, cloth interior, nice car, P3101, $12.900, Johnson Motor Company, 706-724-0111 (790) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 BUICK LESABRE Custom, blue, 29K, P3099, $14.900, Johnson Motor Company, 706724-0111 (791) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 CHEVY CAVALIER, white, 4dr, auto, AC, brand new radials, $7999, Acura of Augusta, John Bell, 800-851-5158 (681) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 CHEVY IMPALA LS, On Star package, alloys, CD and much more, $14.995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-733-2210 (713) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 CHEVY MONTE Carlo SS, white beauty, gotta see it, $14,995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-733-2210 (714) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 CHRYSLER SEBRING LXI Convertible, dark blue, grey leather, power, CD, 35K, asking $15,998, 706-863-0175 (804/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 FORD ESCORT SE, 2 to choose from, auto, full power, like new, $6999, Acura of Augusta, Rogers Gotier, 800-851-5158 (686) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 FORD TAURUS SES, alloys, CD, theft deterrent system, $11,995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-733-2210 (715) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 INFINITI I-30, rare find, has navigation system, 15K, all optional equipment, $24,995, no sales tax, 706-869-9007 (730/125) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 MERCURY SABLE LS, premium package, alloy wheels, CD and much more, $11,995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-7332210 (708) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 OLDSMOBILE ALERO, fully loaded, all power options, fully serviced, $9999, Acura of Augusta, Donald Jackson, 800851-5158 (679) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 PONTIAC GRAND Prix GT, white, 4dr, loaded, all the power options, CD, $11,999, Acura of Augusta, Cardell Burton, 800851-5158 (680) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 VW BEETLE, black beauty, auto, gotta have it, $13,995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-7332210 (709) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 AUDI A4 Turbo, 4dr, dark

green/tan leather, all power, AM/FM, Cass/CD, 8K, $31,850 OBO, 706-863-1941 (729/125) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 HYUNDAI ELANTRA, 5spd, power package, factory warranty, 11K, $10,990, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (747) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 SATURN SL1, auto, power steering, power brakes, AC, AM/FM/CD, factory warranty, 19K great condition, $9500, 706863-7071 (781/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 SATURN SL1, auto, PS, PB, CD, AC, 19K, factory warranty, like new condition, $8950, 706-863-7071 (802/109)

Motorcycle 2001 HONDA NIGHTHAWK, 250cc, showroom condition, 400 miles, excellent first street bike, $2600 OBO, 803-278-3442 (677/0102)

Other CESSNA 150 H COMMUTER, 760 ch. radio, GPS, VOR, wheel pants, 4000 TT, 150 SMOH, $19,500 OBO, 803-278-2669 or tyrus_m@yahoo.com (798/109)

SUVs 1997 FORD EXPLORER XLT, willow green, 4dr, V8, loaded, original owner, extra clean condition, $8850 OBO, 706-667-9488 leave message (810/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD EXPLORER Sport, loaded, good condition, $7995, 706-860-0860 (775/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD EXPEDITION XLT, leather, fully loaded, 6 disc CD changer, excellent condition, 51K, $18,000, 706-854-9194 (778/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 JEEP GRAND Cherokee, Limited Edition, leather, power roof, $15,995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-733-2210 (711) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 FORD EXPLORER XLT, wedgewood blue, local trade in, leather interior, alloys, running boards, power seats, CD/cassette, power sunroof & more, non-smoker, $13,995, Master Pontiac, 706-855-9400 (795) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 JEEP CHEROKEE Classic, extra clean, new tires, won’t last long, $9979, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-733-2210 (706) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 NISSAN FRONTIER, auto, low miles, local trade $6995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-7332210 (707) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 MITSUBISHI MONTERO Sport LS, 4dr, this one owner has only 5,000 miles, V6, auto, power windows & locks, C.P. Sport package, alloy wheels, $17,995, Master Pontiac, 706-855-9400 (793)

Trucks 1985 DODGE RAM Prospector, red, full-size, w/camper shell, 140K, good condition, perfect work truck. $2800, 706-7212317 (809/109)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 DODGE RAM Charger, w/rebuilt 318 motor, V8, good shape, runs good, needs light transmission work, lots of new part, $1500 OBO 706-737-2359 (799/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 MAZDA B2000, white, 5spd, AC, bedliner, fiberglass shell, new clutch & tires, 159K, $1500 OBO, 803-725-3581 (740/1212) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 TOYOTA PICK UP, am/fm, cassette, PS, XC, trailer hitch, excellent tires, extended cab, $2750 cash, 706-739-1142 (807/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 CHEVY SILVERADO, white w/red interior, 6 cyl, PS, PB, AC, auto, toolbox, great condition, $3500 OBO, 706-399-1303 (801/109) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 CHEVY S10, midnight black with cloth 60/40 seats, 65K, local trade in, equipped with 4.3 V6, auto sport wheels, CD & more, $5995, Master Pontiac, 706-855-9400 (797) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD F-150 Sport, silver, shortbed, auto, chrome wheels, XLT trim, $10,999, Acura of Augusta, Dwayne Eisenhower, 800-851-5158 (686) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 MAZDA B3000, 4.0L, auto fully equipped for only $10.995, Gerald Jones Honda, 706-7332210 (710) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 CHEVY Z-71, white, 4dr, 4 WD, CD player, P3188, $21,900, Johnson Motor Company, 706724-0111 (787) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 FORD RANGER XLT, burgundy, 4cyl, auto, AC, disc player, tinted glass, 22K, short bed, factory warranty, no tax, $9150, 706-736-8032 (648/0102) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 TOYOTA TACOMA, oxford white, cloth bucket seats, 4X4, local trade in, 49K, alloys, CD, Cassette, AC, bedliner, & more, non-smoker, well maintained, $12,995, Master Pontiac, 706855-9400 (794) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 CHEVY 1500, 4dr, 19K, great shape, T3196, $20,900, Johnson Motor Company, 706724-0111 (788)

Vans 1997 FORD WINDSTAR GL, dark red, 7 passenger, 3.8 V6, AC, tilt, power windows, 146K, $4200 OBO, 706-860-5001 (774/1226) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 HONDA ODYSSEY EX, top of the line EX model, electric doors, dual air, every option, $17,999, Acura of Augusta, 800851-5158 (682) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 PLYMOUTH GRAND Voyager Expresso, white, 51K, 10 speaker infinity sound system, cassette, CD, rear air, captain’s chairs, new tires, great condition, $13,600, 706-868-1045 (770/1226) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 DODGE GRAND Caravan, blue, 39K, V6, auto, $14,995, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-2020002 (745)

87

THE CSRA'S PRE-OWNED TRUCK SOURCE

M E T R O

THANK YOU

$12,900

1999

$13,900 King Cab • Long Bed

Very Clean Truck

2000

CHEVROLET S-10

DODGE RAM

For Supporting Our Advertisers

NISSAN FRONTIER

$13,900

1999

$9,995

Clean As A Whistle • Low Miles

Low Miles

2001

DODGE DAKOTA

ANDY JONES MAZDA ISUZU

(803) 202-0002

ZERO PERCENT* ZERO DOWN* ZERO PAYMENTS*

LIMITED TIME OFFER!

APR FINANCING FOR 60 MONTHS

FOR QUALIFIED BUYERS

UNTIL 2003 ON NEW SATURNS

DRIVE MAINTENANCE FREE WHEN YOU BUY A NEW SATURN! 2002 SATURN S-SERIES (Price Reflects $2,000 Rebate)

9,995 $ ** 199

$

V O U C H E R

*

2003 SATURN L200

Free Three-Year/ 36,000-Mile Car Care Plan*

17,735 $ 259**

$

*

YOUR OFFICIAL MILES DEALER!

Visit Our Website: www.saturnofaugusta.com

usedcarwarehouse.com If You Can't Find It Out There, You'll Find It In Here!

When You Buy Or Lease Any New Vehicle From Saturn of Augusta

V O U C H E R

LIMITED EDITION 2003 VUE SPORT PLUS Look At What You Get In Addition To All The Standard Equipment: • Power Door Locks • Power Windows • Power Mirrors • Alarm System • Cruise Control • Remote Keyless Entry • 16” Alloy Wheels • AM/FM/CD Player • Autodimming ISRVM w/ Display • Map Lights

16,995 $ ** 285

$

*

*Credit approval required. Must finance through GMAC, see dealer for details. *Plus tax, tag, fees & transportation. **60-mo. purchase at 0% APR plus tax, tag, title & transportation with approved credit. ***Car Care Plan consists of oil changes & tire rotations. Offer cannot be combined.

Located On The Corner Of Gordon Hwy. & Milledgeville Rd, Augusta GA

888-770-9676

20 USED SATURNS IN STOCK!

S P I R I T D E C 5 2 0 0 2