METRONEWS AUGUSTA TEK CROSSWORD FEATURE
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WHINELINE Thanks for all the “If I wanted to live in Seattle” posts on FB. Makes me grateful for the internet. WOW! You suck. Don’t tase me Bro!
Could Augusta radio commercials get any worse? Children learning to read would do better jobs. I am so sick of these “special” people who think they can park on the sidewalk.so is my friend who is quite the rebel and has started keying cars parked
on the sidewalk. BEWARE if you are one of those “special” people.
god/are religious. Why am I offensive or a threat to them?
Joe Mullins not living up to his word? Who on earth could believe that. Put down your hands Columbia County. I’m an atheist. I’m not offended nor am I threatened by folks who believe in a
It’s very telling when the people who say that Paula Deen is being persecuted are the same people who have never been the target of hate language. It’s also funny how those same people are
o metIrRIT SP convinced that a 17-yearold, 130 lb child, could be a threat to a 200 lb, grown, armed, man. You should take a good, hard look at your subconscious discrimination. (continued on page 34)
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EVENTS CALENDAR JENNY IS WRIGHT ART 45 SIGHTINGS
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SLAB THE 8
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WHINE LINE
EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com
o r t e m IR SP 04 06 07
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Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Kristin Hawkins |Rhonda Jones |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny Wright
INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHOES
Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.
CONTENTS
Roundtree Delivers: Sheriff’s plan relies on cameras, a closed Riverwalk and more Fairly Certain: Mary Davis is at home on the commission Transit Heat: Tempers flare as commissioners try to award bus contract Rising Water: Rain and dam test combine to create a perfect storm of water… headed toward Augusta
Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 COVER DESIGN: KRUHU
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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.
SIDER
Oh, the Outrage! We call BS. Neck tattoos Virgin cell phone Filming Sheriff Department HQ Refusing to produce ID to law enforcement Night in jail Being interviewed by Christie Ethridge
Mugshot of Matthew Haley
$93 $99 with contract Free Free $47 (Richmond County taxpayers) Priceless
Self-‐proclaimed “Independent Individual” Matthew Haley was arrested last Tuesday night as he stood in the former jail parking lot filming the new Sheriff’s Department headquarters. Insiders hear he was stopped by a senior officer earlier trying to bypass the metal detector in the building itself to gain entry into the secured area. Not only that, he has been observed filming female investigators and staff, as well as the enclosed private parking to department employees. While the Hephzibah resident (self-‐proclaimed “independent journalist”) has every right to “film public buildings,” he should reconsider provoking men and women who carry guns at their place of business. While some are painting this as the actions of a police state, we call BS. These officers are assaulted routinely and, in some cases, tragically murdered. To think they would turn a blind eye to such taunting behavior is a state of blind ignorance.
The Fast and the Furious The fun surrounding the Great Committee Schedule Change, which is something that has occupied the Augusta Commission for weeks, shows no signs of letting up. The latest installment of what has been a mostly behind the scenes drama played out as a kind of morality play on Monday, as some commissioners seemed to be competing against each other for the role of Most Committed. Commitment in this context seems to be measured by willingness to spend time in a meeting talking about the people’s business. Certainly the most patient of the bunch has been Bill Lockett, whose once powerful Administrative Services Committee has been muzzled by the ponderously long meetings. Robbed of an audience and occasionally a quorum, he’s been waiting for someone to cut him loose. Instead, his colleagues have seen fit to hang him out to dry. Marion Williams, who seems never to have encountered an agenda item he didn’t want to discuss, has an awful lot to do with Lockett’s dwindling thunder, and he’s made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t have any time for those who want to rush their way through the meetings, whether it be the administrator or fellow commissioners. The business-‐minded faction of the commission is becoming more vocal about the cost of this deliberateness, however. While the commission talks, highly paid department heads wait around on standby while other employees are pulling overtime babysitting the public during commission meetings that are reaching further and further into Prime Time. In response, Grady Smith suggested making all meetings start at 2 p.m. The concession — agreeing to give Lockett a rotating schedule.
Stand Up Straight While You’re Waiting After a disastrous first day of civilian furloughs triggered by the sequester, in which drivers waited two hours to get onto Fort Gordon, military officials decided to reopen Gate 2 during the morning and afternoon rush to help things move more efficiently. The fact that civilian guards were going to experience the unpaid leave was certainly no secret, and though officials knew they wouldn’t be able to pull things off without some kind of hitch, they figured they more or less had things covered. After all, guarding stuff sort of goes hand in hand with the military. So the plan was to have military personnel fill in for the civilians working the gate. The only problem — last week, word came down that it was against policy to shift military personnel to fill in the civilian holes. Which is what gave Augusta that three-‐mile line into the fort. But while military personnel don’t seem to be allowed to guard their own home, they are apparently more than able to fan out across Augusta and police their own. Starting Wednesday, July 10, Fort Gordon Courtesy Patrols began “as part of a renewed emphasis on standards of conduct, discipline and military values.” Off post, the courtesy patrols consist of an officer and two NCOs. The visits take place all across town from 5 p.m. to 6 a.m. on weekdays and around the clock on weekends and holidays. On post, the patrols are made up of “soldier and sister service members.” While there’s a long military tradition of maintaining discipline and policing your own, the timing seems more than a little awkward, since there was likely more unbecoming conduct among the military personnel stuck at Gate 1 than there will be this weekend on Broad Street. And that’s saying something. 4
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Sports and Politics
Marco Rubio isn’t dumb, but may just think his constituents are When I was younger, I was what you might call the archetypal “voracious reader.” I still read, of course — a lot, in fact — but the books I read now ask a little more in terms of time and psychological commitment. They beg analysis, close and careful readings, and a good deal of reflection. And a little whiskey. That helps too. But I read everything, or had it read to me: the “Corduroy” books, Dr. Seuss, the Lord of the Rings saga, the Bible, schlocky fantasy and sci-‐fi novels, even the accessible classics like “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea” and “Animal Farm.” Knowledge was encouraged in our house, but so was dumb fun (my father’s favorite film is, awesomely, “Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension”). Hence my proclivity for youth-‐focused sports-‐related novels; Matt Christopher, which I can’t believe isn’t a pen name, wrote roughly a dozen of these every month, with titles like “Miracle at Home Plate,” “Challenge at Second” and “The Boy Who Only Hit Home Runs.” They were inspiring, if a little bit enabling of my self-‐denial; I was in love with baseball as an idea, as a collection of happenings and statistics, and not as an actual game that required actual effort to be any good. I wasn’t horrible, but I discovered by the time I was nine years old that the little s**t I had given about for-‐real playing was long gone. This is kind of a roundabout way to introduce a novel, “The Toilet Paper Tigers,” which is itself kind of a roundabout way of introducing another socio-‐political issue that I’m in no way qualified to discuss. Looking back on it, the story is, in a way, a sort of “Twin Peaks” of the young adult sports-‐genre pap mold. The overarching narrative concerns, of course, a little league team made up of misfits, derelicts, nerds and fat kids, volunteer-‐managed by a particle physicist and ghost-‐run by his niece, a New York-‐cool pre-‐teen who you might describe as “precocious” if “precocious” meant “shrieking harpy,” but the book is broken up into vignettes, ostensibly as a way to have each character overcome whatever’s troubling him — the fat kid goes on a wheatgrass diet, one player learns to stand up to his bullying older brother, etc. — but the cast of characters is so whackadoo and across-‐ the-‐board, it was like a cross between “National
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Lampoon” and “Game of Thrones.” Anyway, the particle physicist/team manager was as horrendous at coaching as he was brilliant at his day job. Just before the climax of the book — the inevitable season championship between the Tigers and the league’s version of the 1934 New York Yankees — he goes to scout the semifinal game between their two prospective opponents. And in a character development move that seems to indicate this brilliant scientist was suffering from some combination of Aspberger’s, Attention Deficit Disorder, and a coma, the following exchange occurs: Professor: They didn’t seem very strong. They didn’t score any runs, while allowing a great many… Main Character: But Professor, what about the other team? Professor: Oh, the other team! (furrows brow) Let’s see… they have hats. WE have hats! I predict an even contest! Now look: there are several inscrutably integrated facets to our culture with which some of us are not totally familiar. I’ll never really understand, for example, the appeal behind a Kardashian, but I know what one is and how it works (i.e., a herald of Ragnarok). My wife doesn’t really watch boxing, MMA or “Game of Thrones,” but she understands the consequences of a one-‐punch knockout, an armbar submission or someone getting their tongue ripped out through their throat. This is not a knock on the professor; he’s not a thing that exists, barring the page. But the author should have been taken to task for expecting readers — even 10-‐year-‐olds — to think that a man made out to be one of the country’s most brilliant scientific minds doesn’t understand how math and sports work. Even at that age, I felt insulted. I was a sensitive child. And now let’s talk some Rubio. A couple of weeks ago, Senator Marco Rubio surreptitiously leaked his plan to introduce a Senate bill that bans abortions after 20 weeks. You might recognize this as a similar bill that Texas Republicans tried to pass recently, and only got a 13-‐hour filibuster and nationwide ridicule for their troubles. The bill already passed in the GOP-‐led House of Representatives, but it won’t see the light of day as long as Democrats control the Senate. There are two possibilities here and, thank God, they each relate to the Toilet Paper Tigers:
Marco Rubio is so stupid that he thinks this is actually going to get him the 2016 presidential nomination, and even possibly a win. The leak itself seems to indicate that he’s trying to shore up the tea-‐ bagger base after supporting the Senate immigration bill, which was itself sort of disingenuous, if we’re taking it at face value, and not at the pitiful across-‐ the-‐aisle grandstand that it was. If Rubio is sincere about this, he’s assuming that, by 2016, women aren’t going to be paying attention to attempted legislation like this, when of course the reality is that they’re going to be even more on their toes since last cycle’s misogyny party. The other possibility is that this is another attempt at the old “Etch a Sketch” tactic that the Romney team tried against Obama last go-‐round, and backfired hilariously. Like I just pointed out, this is a classic move designed to rally the ultra-‐ conservative, grassroots faction of the party in time to win the primary, before trying to swing a hard left and present himself as a moderate for the general election. If that’s true, it assumes the same thing about the Republican base as it does about women above: that they’re too stupid to remember history from a scant four years ago. Either scenario implies that Rubio — who is, by all accounts, not a stupid man, and a pretty astute politician — is completely out of touch with a political landscape that is not only minutely documented thanks to the continuing evolution of the social media factor, but is also swinging gradually, yet markedly left (at least socially). That, or he assumes the same about his constituents.
JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published
journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-‐intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.
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Spirit of Cooperation Not a One-Way Street I am not one to believe in huge, Machiavellian conspiracies, particularly concerning local politics. Never have, probably never will. So please spare me any theories of grand schemes afoot when it comes to Richmond County Sheriff’s Department officers participating in a far-‐flung plan to keep ordinary citizens from exercising their constitutional rights, or widespread problems with local police “harassing” scores of law-‐abiding local residents. Simply put, I don’t buy it. But it sure does provide grist for the mill when we get what looks like pretty solid proof of such behavior documented not just by the citizens in question, but by local media looking into their claims of “overbearing” police officials. Case in point, the odd incarceration of one Matthew Haley a few weeks back, and the subsequent “run-‐in” he had with deputies while in the midst of an interview with one of Augusta’s most recognizable TV reporters. According to the Christie Ethridge story on News 12 (online at wrdw.com), Haley was shooting video of the Sheriff’s HQ on Walton Way June 2 when he was detained for refusing to answer questions when confronted by lawmen. You can see and hear the interaction that he recorded that night within her piece. He says he spent 11 hours in a holding cell for nothing more than refusing to give police any identification. They supposedly charged him with hindering an investigation. While Ethridge was talking to Haley, again in front of the Sheriff’s Walton Way HQ, two deputies approached and asked who she was and what she was doing. (Christie is a statuesque young blonde, very attractive, standing with a professional TV camera on a tripod, beside a vehicle with NEWS 12 in huge, bright letters. She has been working in Augusta TV news for about a year and a half, and she has been a regular weekend and fill-‐in anchor since last November.) There is no way I buy that neither of these two deputies knew who she was. If RC deputies can be counted on anything, it is knowing the full story behind each and every attractive female TV reporter in the metro. But once she identified herself and they accepted it, why did they ask Haley, who was clearly being interviewed by the reporter, the same question? That query seems completely out of line because, quite frankly, it is none of their damn business who the reporter is interviewing. It is particularly galling, because according to one of their own people, Haley is a guy who should be very well known to all local lawmen, particularly the folks who patrol downtown. This note was sent to me by an officer, in an attempt to explain why they are concerned about one Mr. Matthew Haley: “He had been out there filming for days before he was confronted. He has attempted to enter the building and bypass the security checkpoint. He has attempted to enter through the employee door. He has filmed employees coming and going in their personal vehicles. He has been filming the narcotics office and their comings and goings. He has been filming the federal building. He was arrested at 9:00 at night because he was seen trying to film through the windows.” The officer went on to explain further: “He (Haley) lied to the reporter about what he was doing. Like you said on the (radio) show, if he was dressed and looked like an Arab you would want to know what he was up to. Unfortunately, terrorist don’t always ride around on camels. He is not a terrorist, he is an activist looking for a confrontation with the police. He got it.” Okay, Haley got his confrontation. But that was a month ago. By now this guy should be famous to everyone in HQ, and while he should be watched carefully, because I have to admit he is acting like a fool, he is not committing any crimes, and his identity is established and well known to law enforcement. They have his mugshot, prints and vitals. Anything over and above, until a crime is committed, is overkill. I would think having officers greet him by name, while smiling and engaging him innocently, like, “Hello Matthew... getting pretty pictures today?” Or maybe, “Matthew... you are just like the film crew on “The Office”... is this thing ever gonna air?” Put him on the spot, smother him with kindness, play the game, but there is no need to give him a self-‐fulfilled prophecy, and turn him into a martyr. Oops. Too late. Yes folks, under certain circumstances you do have the right to withhold your identification from an inquiring law enforcement officer, but unless you are a criminal or James Bond in the midst of a secret mission to save the world, why in Heaven would you stoop to being such an a-‐hole and refuse to cooperate? Ironically, this does remind me of the RCSO’s recent refusal to reveal the names of the three officers involved in the tasing death of George Harvey. Yes, they are allowed by law three full days to submit answers to legal requests for information from the press, but only a real a-‐hole would withhold such information without solid reasons behind the decision. And no, they did not have such reasons. While I side with the local authorities in the overwhelming majority of most of their run-‐ ins with citizens, maybe getting a little of their own medicine in a case like this will inspire some soul searching. Yes, since the new sheriff took over, there have been many great ideas and new policies, but if you think “openness,” “transparency” or “humble interaction” is part of the mix, we ain’t running with the same crowds. AUSTINRHODES The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.
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ERICJOHNSON
Fairly Certain
Mary Davis is at home on the commission
Commissioner Mary Davis walks briskly out of the elevator on the eighth floor of the Municipal Building and looks around. She is late. The noon legal meeting is well underway, and she decides she would make too big of a distraction if she barged in. “We’ll let them handle things today,” she says, walking past the meeting room to the conference room, speaking warmly to the different department heads that are lingering around the office waiting for the committee meetings to begin. Today she has put a couple things on the agenda, and it’s unclear how they will be received. One of them has to do with the order in which the committees meet, something that has been an issue since the current commission took office. The agendas are full and the amount of discussion has kept Bill Lockett’s Administrative Services Committee, traditionally last, from accomplishing much, since many commissioners and most of the press have left by the time it comes around. It’s internal stuff, but it’s important, and she’s expended a little clout trying to come up with a compromise. Her plan is to rotate the order of committee meetings at two-‐month intervals, and it’s been placed on every committee’s agenda. “Administrative Services supposedly over the years has been one of the longest committees,” she says. “And that’s kind of why they want to keep it last. They feel like it would still take so much time.” She admits it has been a hard sell, but says she wants to help out Lockett, “because he was probably having a harder time selling it.” 8
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Commission divisions are impossible to avoid, of course, but unlike many in Augusta, she doesn’t view them as racial. “In our meetings and even behind closed doors, it’s 10 different opinions and we all represent 10 different areas, so you have residents who have different needs and that brings your passion in a little different way than maybe another commissioner,” she says. “I’m sure Bill Fennoy got hammered with flooding calls all weekend, and I don’t get that, so that’s on the forefront of his mind, where mine might be growing the whole downtown area.” She realizes that the perception is a different story. “If I could do anything in these four years, I’d like to help change our perception as far as the commission as a whole,” she says. “People in Atlanta read the news and they think we are a government that can’t do anything or get along, and we do. One thing on the agenda might be controversial, but we voted on 50 other things.” That perception of dysfunction is so ingrained in the public’s psyche that it’s hard to image it changing, especially when some of the injuries suffered by the commission are self inflicted, like the ethics violations that lead to the censure of Grady Smith, Joe Jackson and Wayne Guilfoyle earlier this year. Though Davis sidesteps the issue, it’s clear she understands how damaging that time appeared. “We set these goals at the beginning of the year at that first retreat,” she says. “That’s what I want to focus on — focus on those goals and I think that will keep us all on the same page. We do get away from that sometimes.” 11JULY2013
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Partially, she says, it’s because of the power. “This commission has a lot of power,” she says. “Sometimes, I think, too much power. But that’s the way it’s set up, and I don’t see that changing.” Short term, the lagging sales tax revenues are making the upcoming budget a challenge, while long term, she identifies the need to increase tax revenue and businesses throughout Augusta. Not surprisingly, she’s a big proponent of the Mills plan currently under study by consultants for GRU. Davis says she talks frequently to former commissioner Joe Bowles for his background understanding and his institutional knowledge, which is important since even though she has broad understanding of Augusta history and politics, the city has a long and sometimes knotty history. “You come in and there’s so much that’s been happening for years and you’re still discussing it,” she says. “So you’ve got to do a lot of homework.” Though she’s been asked to run for mayor, she insists she’s staying put, at least for now. As for later… “I don’t know — I’m still getting used to this, and I’m enjoying it so much I haven’t even thought about that,” she says. “I tried to talk [former Mayor’s Assistant] Karyn Nixon into running for mayor — I think she’d do a great job — but she won’t. Besides, she just started a new job.” Still, she understands the pull — and push — of service a little better after six months on the job. “You run for this because you want to make a difference in your city and make it better,” she says. “And then you get in and realize it’s not that easy to get things done quickly.”
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Case Study
Behind every innovation is a great whine Last week we talked about how the act of complaining and whining is a crucial component of the innovation process. This week we start with a case study of how this works in practice. New Zealander Jake Evill suffered the unfortunate occurrence of breaking his hand. The treatment, as is standard with most broken bones, required the application of a plaster cast. Jake thought his a bit out of touch with the times. Says Jake, “Wrapping an arm in two kilos of clunky, and soon to be smelly and itchy, plaster in this day and age seemed somewhat archaic to me.� Let’s face it; he’s right. Plaster casts started widespread use in the middle 19th century. Our modern treatment of broken bones is still based on a 150-�year-�old technology. That would be the equivalent of surfing the Internet using Morse Code. Here’s the cool parth, though. After the whining comes the innovation! Since there was not a better solution to the plaster cast, Jake set about to create his own. His solution is called the Cortex, and it’s based upon the lattice-�shaped structures (the trabecular) that form the inner tissue of the bone. After performing a 3D scan of the injured limb, an exoskeleton that provides support in the appropriate places is designed utilizing the Cortex pattern. The exoskeleton is created using 3D printing and consists of materials that are lightweight, washable, ventilated and recyclable. You can read more about it at http://jakevilldesign.dunked.com/cortex. While the Cortex is still in the prototype stage, it’s a great example of how life’s annoyances can lead to something great. So stop whining and start doing! S’up in Space — I had a choice this week when pulling together this column. On one hand, we could talk some more about government surveillance, Snowden, Verizon and the NSA, and in the process get ourselves all worked up over a bunch of neo-�political idiots that we can’t do anything about anyway. Or on the other hand, we can talk about some neat stuff in space. Not really much of a choice, is it? Last month, SpaceX ran another test flight of its Grasshopper reusable rocket. Grasshopper is a Vertical Takeoff Vertical Landing (VTVL) vehicle designed to test the technologies needed to return a spacecraft to the Earth intact. Grasshopper reached its highest flight to date with a top altitude of 1,066 feet. The test flight made use of Grasshopper’s full navigation sensor suite, including the F9-�R closed loop flight algorithms to accomplish a precision landing. Now, I can go on with the techno-�babble all day, but you really need to see the video. Search YouTube for “Grasshopper 325m Test� or check out the website. “In Saturn’s Rings� is a self-�described giant-�screen art film created entirely from the still pictures taken mostly during the Cassini-�Huygen mission to Saturn. The movie is unique in that CGI or 3D modeling effects were not used to create the feel of flying around Saturn and its rings. The IMAX movie is scheduled for release in 2014, but several trailers are found on its website, insaturnsrings.com. Finally, this week marks the 66th anniversary of the Mother of All Conspiracies. Yes, I’m referring to Roswell. On July 7, 1947, so the story goes, an alien spacecraft crash-�landed near Roswell, New Mexico. The U.S. Air Force captured the aliens, and the matter was entirely covered up. Of course, other aliens have come in search of their own kind. Also, in retaliation, a significant number of Americans have been abducted. While these events have been depicted in movies and TV shows such as “The X-�Files,� “Independence Day� and “Men In Black,� nothing truly captures the horror of what happened in New Mexico nearly 70 years ago. Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.
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By Alex Vratsanos and Jeff Chen / Edited by Will Shortz woodpecker 76 Where 84-‐Across were invented 79 Suffix with favor 81 Catching ___ 83 Seat of Dallas County, Ala. 84 Seven-‐piece puzzles 86 Adventurer of Greek myth 89 Big gobbler 90 Dish that may be ladled 91 Eskimo boot 93 Hollywood legend Davis 94 Crooked 95 Bridge spot 97 It has 31 días 99 ___ bar (Hershey product) 101 Some dinero 103 Disobeyed orders, say 106 Dewy 109 Four Holy Roman emperors 110 Certain singers 111 Noted mausoleum site 112 ___ buddy 113 Women’s Health competitor 114 Terminal information 115 Baghdad’s ___ City 116 ___-‐length 117 You may be shocked by it 118 Baseball’s Slaughter 119 Carpentry fastener 120 Affix, in a way 121 Word before and after “Tovarich” in a “Doctor Zhivago” number 122 Informal greetings Down 1 Columbus’s home 2 “Hoochie Coochie Man” singer 3 In ___ (late, in law) 4 They may be shot at basketball games 5 Star quality 6 West Point subject 7 Frigid 8 1943 penny composition 9 The Three Stooges, e.g. 10 Clairvoyant’s hurdle 11 Caramel candy brand 12 Shooting off more 13 Flummoxed 14 Like porn films 15 Purple Heart recipients, e.g. 16 It’s worn by many Libras
17 Bang for one’s buck 19 Many S.A. women 30 1962 movie for which Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke won Oscars, with “The” 33 Likewise 36 ___ Z 37 Jazzed 38 Still dripping? 40 Gloss 42 “___ be a real shame …” 44 “Toy Story 3” role for Michael Keaton 45 Muckraker Tarbell 48 Peruvian volcano El ___ 50 ___ Schwarz 52 Euphemism used often on “The Newlywed Game” 54 Frank Sinatra’s second 57 Year the iPod came out 58 Money raised by members of Congress? 60 Stupefying 62 72 in a six-‐pack, often: Abbr. 65 Don Ho’s instrument, informally 66 Sierra ___ 68 Dewar’s product 69 Medieval museum exhibit 70 Lowdown 72 Nick, maybe 76 They’re beside the point: Abbr. 77 Magician’s prop 78 Blissed out 80 Tut’s relative 82 Racing vehicle 83 Where one might be in the hot seat? 85 Mornings, for short 86 Some baby sitters 87 Fundamentally 88 Beehive State native 92 Gave for a time 96 Posit 98 Where one might be in the hot seat? 100 Bimetallic Canadian coin 101 Writing on the Wall? 102 A Coen brother 104 Joie de vivre 105 Language of Lahore 107 They’re always done by one 108 Feds
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Across 1 Coll. senior’s exam 5 Some S.U.V.’s 9 1/24 of un jour 10 ___ Franklin, Grammy-‐nominated gospel/R&B singer 14 First name in footwear 18 Robs 20 Onetime wrestling great ___ the Giant 21 Shade of black 22 Forced return? 23 Woman in Conan Doyle’s “A Scandal in Bohemia” 24 Most common elements 25 Asset 26 Target of 2006 United Nations sanctions 27 Euripides play 28 Opening words? 29 Heads of a Northwest tribe? 31 Endings of some courses 32 Compose 34 ___ Selassie 35 What whalers may bring back 37 “Defending liberty, pursuing justice” org. 39 Carlo ___ wine 41 Go kicking and screaming 43 Collaborative Web site 46 Bon ___ 47 Fully 49 Duplicitous 51 They may be epic 53 Actor Roberts 54 Trouble 55 The Superdome, e.g. 56 Biblical figure whose name means “help” 57 ___ de Pompadour (figure in Fr. history) 59 Many a person behind the Iron Curtain 61 Dome, e.g. 63 Secretary, e.g. 64 Piece longer than its name suggests 67 Second of a Latin trio 71 Gang member’s “O.K.” before a job 73 Bird or fruit 74 Canadian interjections 75 Like a sighting of an ivory-‐billed
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A S S S T X I T T O E R OR F OR W L M O I N S D U E S U R N S G R A D T IN G IN IN T H G E G U R E D N O R C H E W P O O F B O W O U T ER N ER K L E E C E S N T E D S C S A W E P A R E N TH I S TH A T A L E U T W E A R Y
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L E A Y S E S D C E R A T O M A R A IN E Y M B B O C A R O L D P ER ER E S D M F O A N N D TH E E L W R Y
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H OW N OW B R OW C N A C ST OW ST H A E V F E I N R G ST E ST O TH N O E U
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Transit Heat
ERICJOHNSON
Tempers flare as commissioners try to award bus contract
In a heated meeting on Monday, Augusta’s Public Services Committee attempted to approve Fort Worth-‐based McDonald Transit to take over in Augusta when Mobility Transit’s contract expires on July 31. Commissioner Marion Williams, already testy about last week’s hastily called work session, was angered by what he considered a lack of adequate information and by the fact that Administrator Fred Russell, who was on vacation but had been at an earlier meeting, was not immediately in the commission chambers to answer questions. “If he’s gong to schedule a meeting for us on the Fourth of July week and he’s going to disappear today — there’s something wrong with that,” he said. Russell returned to the room and Williams addressed his frustration squarely at him. “I’ve got some names, but I don’t have any of the details,” he said of the bid process that brought McDonald Transit to the top of the list. “Who bid what, how much, the pricing — nothing.” “We can provide that information for you,” Russell replied. “Well, I’m waiting,” Williams snapped. “Your office is to the left.” At that point, Procurement Director Geri Sams came forward to explain the bid process and the reason why commissioners had not received any of the price information in their documents, eventually quoting the code. “A request for proposal shall not become public record until the amount of the contract is negotiated and awarded,” she said. Williams, however, took issue with the answer. “You said public, and I am not the public,” he insisted. “I’m elected. I understand that information may not be 12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
given out to the public, but this body ought to be able to have that because we’ve got to be able to make a decision. I’m part of the public, but I’m trying to do the work of the public, and if I can’t see it, how can I vote on it?” Mobility has managed Augusta Public Transit since late summer 2011; however, commissioners were dissatisfied with several elements of Mobility’s performance and voted to terminate the contract in February. That prompted a lawsuit against the city for breaking its procurement code and violating state open meeting laws. Commissioner Bill Lockett had several questions about the terms of the contract and agreed with Williams that commissioners should be allowed to see the same information that the smaller selection committee evaluated when they decided on McDonald. “If they can know, why can’t we know, because we’re the ones going to make the final decision,” he said. “Those aren’t professional transit people that are on that committee — they were just moms and pops.” The already edgy atmosphere took another turn when Sams, attempting to show Williams a paper containing an explanation of the process, was cut off by the commissioner. “It bothers me for you to stand there, Ms. Sams, and tell me that you’ve got something in your hand that I need to look at,” he said. “But I need to talk to the administrator. I need to talk to the man who was tasked to do this.” Russell approached, but before Williams could question him, Commissioner Donnie Smith tried to bring about clarity. “The bottom line is, if we don’t approve this contract, at the end of the month we’re going to have to either take this in house or we have to go back to
Mobility and ask them to stay on for 30 more days, is that correct?” he asked. “Or we can shut down [bus service],” Russell added. Smith’s questioning made it clear that approving the award of the RFP to McDonald would only mean that the commission would get another opportunity to deal with price and that if the commission and McDonald couldn’t agree on price, the process would move on to the next bidder. Lockett then complained about the rushed nature of the decision-‐making process, laying out a series of past examples where he felt the rushed negotiations had ended in “failure:” the golf course, the current transit contract, the personnel policies and procedures manual, the reorganization. “We’ve got to stop failing,” he said. “We have enough intelligence up here to make good decisions.” Williams concurred. “I’m really disappointed as to giving our instructions to the administrator, who’s got two assistants, two secretaries, two phones and two of everything and we’re always pushed up against the wall,” he said. “It’s always the last minute.” Russell attempted to speak, but Williams forcefully overrode him. “I’m talking, Mr. Russell,” he said. “At least give me that much respect. You might not respect me much more than that, but give me that much. You might not like what I’m saying, but I do have the floor.” Russell backed down and apologized. “The point is, we’re always pushed against the wall at the last minute,” Williams continued. “Folks get paid to do a job and they don’t do the job, but then they expect us to vote on it. And we’ve got lawsuit after lawsuit after lawsuit and this is fixing to be another
one because we don’t have all the information.” For a moment, the usually unshakable Russell looked like he might be provoked into a confrontation, but then be paused and gathered himself. “You know, we’re operating under the time frame you all established when you voted to give Mobility 90 days notice,” he said slowly. “I daresay we have some commissioners that don’t particularly think that we ought to have a transit system, and we have some that think we ought to have a whole lot more than what we have. Somewhere betwixt and between that is what this staff is given to work with.” Then, he proceeded to defend himself and his staff. “You know, we on more than one occasion listen to several of you say we don’t do our jobs,” he started. “On more than one occasion we listen to you say we get overpaid for what we do and on more than one occasion we’ve heard you say that you were disappointed in the way we perform. That works both ways on occasion. We get disappointed in ourselves, too, because sometimes we feel somewhat frustrated in the fact that we’ve got staff that attempts to do the best they can and sometimes that direction is a little hazy, the directions we’re told to go in are a little bit wrong.” That didn’t soften Williams, who became even more agitated when committee chairman Grady Smith adjourned the committee because by that time it lacked a quorum. “If you don’t want to talk about it today, we’ll talk about it next Tuesday [at the full commission meeting],” he said. “If they want to play ball, we’ll play hardball.”
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Rising Water
Rain and dam test combine to create a perfect storm of water… headed toward Augusta
It’s 9:30 on Tuesday morning and Savannah Riverkeeper Tonya Bonitatibus is anticipating having to move out of her office by the Boathouse on the Savannah River because of the rising water. “We have a tropical storm coming this weekend,” she says matter of factly. “It’s not stopped raining in weeks. We can really be looking at some damage here in the next couple of weeks.” Even to a river novice, the numbers she quotes are alarming. Last year, during the summer, the flow was 3,100 cubic feet per second (cfs). At 9:30 on Tuesday morning it’s 30,000 cfs. By Thursday, that number is nearly going to double to 58,000 cfs. The increase on Thursday, July 11, is because the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is going to test the floodgates of the Strom Thurmond Dam at Clarks Hill Lake for the first time since 2007. The dam’s 23 gates are scheduled to be open from 1:30 to 4 p.m. Upriver, the Hartwell and Russell dams will be tested leading up to Thursday’s Thurmond test. Originally, the test was planned because the lake was finally at full pool. Now that the Savannah River is rising
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dramatically, however, the additional water could have a damaging effect. Bonitatibus reports that, at all the dams between Augusta and Strom Thurmond, the water is equal on either side, meaning the dams are doing nothing to slow the flow of water. In spite of the fact that the additional flow will be destructive, Bonitatibus says the corps really has no choice but to test the gates. “They’re already two feet above full pool up at Strom Thurmond,” she says. “They have to make sure that these floodgates work because they’re probably going to be using them.” The last time she can remember seeing this much water in the river is 1991, which was the year the river flooded. “We could absolutely walk away from this unscathed, but if things go badly, we could be using those floodgates for the first time in 12 years.” The floodgates she’s talking about here are the wooden planks designed to seal the breaches in the levy, keeping Augusta from experiencing floodwaters. However, in spite of the very real chance this might happen, Bonitatibus says people don’t really seem to be worried,
despite the fact that the water is inching up, even threatening the houses along the river in North Augusta. “It’s a perfect example of how everybody gets used to it not raining,” she says. “People want to build right next to the river and they push those lines further than they should.” Part of the problem, she says, is the fact that the lake people have been pushing so hard for the lake to be full that they convinced the Corps of Engineers to manage the lake a bit differently, leaving it now with no storage capacity. If the corps held the water in the lake now, they could be vulnerable if a prolonged tropical storm like the one forecasters say is headed this way were to linger, and though the corps could have released water earlier in response to the excessive rainfall, Bonitatibus says their hands were effectively tied. “I don’t think the elected officials or the citizens would have let them make that choice,” she says. “They pounded them so hard with the message that we have got to have this lake full without fully understanding the purpose of the lake. That lake was put in to
ERICJOHNSON
keep Augusta and downstream from flooding.” Once the dam was put in, such issues were inevitable. “As much as everybody likes to beat on the corps — when you decided to make yourself God, which is essentially what they are of the river, those are the choices you have to make,” she says. “It’s not a fun choice because, whichever way you go, somebody’s going to get mad.” Potentially complicating the issue is the structurally suspect New Savannah Bluff Dam by the airport, where Bonitatibus says the water is also even on both sides. “It’ll put a huge amount of pressure on it,” she says of the additional water. “They will be trying to get rid of that water as fast as they can, but there’s just too much of it. And it’s going to get worse.”
MONEY
DOESN’T
GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must believe it does according to their estimates!)
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Boarding the Eyesores
ERICJOHNSON
Mothball ordinance gets another look from critical commissioners
Commissioner Marion Williams is unhappy with the city’s mothball ordinance and he doesn’t care who knows it. “If people own buildings and we give them a year to either tear them down or fix them up and they have not fixed them up, we have not gotten aggressive enough as an elected body to make something happen,” he says. “We’ve got all these abandoned houses and they’re not all mothballed, because people have been living inside and people are going inside. Criminal activity is going on inside.”
In 2006, the commission adopted a mothballing ordinance, primarily because people were boarding up properties that were considered historic in the Bethlehem area and no standards existed for how to do it. “We were finding the properties uninhabitable in their existing condition,” says Development Manager Rob Sherman. “The property owner had the option to either bring it in compliance with the code, demolish it or board it up.” Though originally there was no time limit for mothballing, the commission came back a year later
and put a year time limit on it, and though that limit technically still exists, Sherman says they are choosing not to enforce it. “The way we’re handling it right now — if somebody does take out a mothballing permit, as long as it is secure and not deteriorating to a dilapidated state, then we allow them to continue with that,” he says. “If it begins to deteriorate and becomes dilapidated, then we do pursue taking them to court and getting the order to demolish it.” Once a house is demolished, the city records a lien against the
property that stays with it until it’s paid off. Williams, however, argues that the houses that are boarded up aren’t staying boarded up, and Sherman admits that, if left as they are, all the boarded up properties will eventually get worse. “It’s sort of an upside down situation for the property owner,” he says. “In a lot of these situations, with the smaller houses, for the property owner to go out there and demolish the structure, he’ll have more money in the property than what the lot is worth, so they’re sitting there and leaving them boarded up.” He says they can start taking them back through the court and demolishing them, but that requires funds. “Last year, we funded $500,000 from what we had left over from our audit to tear down houses, and code enforcement did a wonderful job,” says Commissioner Wayne Guilfoyle. “But we’ve got to find a funding source to actually reallocate money to code enforcement.” Though there might be a lack of money, there is no lack of desire to see the eyesores removed. “I think it’s time to clean up this town and put our best foot forward,” says Commissioner Grady Smith. “We ought to set a standard and — bam. Especially if they don’t live in this area. We’ve got rules. Let’s abide by them. Let’s get it done. I don’t care who they are.” Williams agrees. “We have initiated a program, but some people have taken advantage of that program,” he says. “If a house has been left there, I don’t care if they’ve got 28 sisters and brothers that own it — the city ought to have a process in place.”
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ERICJOHNSON
Roundtree Delivers
Sheriff’s plan relies on cameras, a closed Riverwalk and a resurrected Business Improvement District
Sheriff Richard Roundtree’s Monday presentation to the Public Safety Committee regarding his new downtown safety plan was comprehensive, innovative and a touch controversial. But commissioners seemed generally pleased with the proposal, which would not only close portions of the Riverwalk after hours and bring cameras to the downtown area, but would also use the already familiar Business Improvement District mechanism to fund several additional new law enforcement officers dedicated solely to patrolling the downtown area. “We are the largest full-‐service Sheriff’s Office in the state of Georgia,” Roundtree said. “I can apply many manpower resources to the downtown and the Riverwalk, but eventually those resources have to be diverted somewhere else, so we’re looking for a plan of sustainable safety and security and not just a knee-‐jerk reaction to those things that happened.” Those things, of course, are the widely distributed YouTube video of a Broad Street brawl and the brutal attack of a South Carolina couple on the Riverwalk on May 3. Though these two events, and 16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
last July’s First Friday shooting that wounded six, have brought a renewed attention to the downtown/ Riverwalk area, Roundtree insisted he was working on this plan long before the issues came up. “It was part of my initiative when I was running,” he said. “For several months, myself or my department heads have been meeting with these department heads individually and collectively to come up with a plan because we know that the only way Augusta and Richmond County can survive is if we start working together and not apart.” The plan was developed in concert with the Administrator’s Office, the office of the Mayor, the Recreation, Parks and Facilities Departments, the Legal Department, Traffic Engineering, IT and the sustainable development manager. Most importantly, Roundtree said, it was developed with quick implementation in mind. “This is not something that’s in the conceptual stage,” Roundtree said.
“This is something we can move on.” The first step was to post signs officially closing Riverwalk at night from Ninth Street to Fifth Street. “The Riverwalk is a park just like our other parks,” he said. “We don’t have the resources to go in and out of the parks, especially where some of them are located. The seclusion of them invites criminal activity, so they’re closed.” His recommendation: close that portion of the Riverwalk from 11 p.m until sunrise. Several commissioners expressed an aversion to closing something they’ve devoted so much time defending and have worked so hard trying to keep open, and while Roundtree assured commissioners that the time was negotiable and that if the commission was unwilling to close the park the Sheriff’s Office would simply move on, it was clear he felt the move would help cut down criminal activity by giving police officers the probable cause
needed to engage anyone on the Riverwalk. Supporting that phase was what he called the 32-‐camera solution — the installation of 32 surveillance cameras along Broad Street and the Riverwalk. Because video surveillance requires line of sight, the Recreation Department will play a key role in trimming back trees and making sure the lighting is functional and adequate. “It does no good to have 100 cameras if you don’t trim the bushes or fix the lights,” Roundtree said. And though initially he’s asking for 32 city-‐owned cameras, he said he fully intended to increase the number of cameras so that the idea of 100 downtown cameras was entirely plausible. “My vision of video surveillance is to partner with the community and have community and business buy in so we can develop a network of cameras,” he said. “The city owns a certain number of cameras, but the public and private businesses have 11JULY2013
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the opportunity to purchase cameras and tie into that network.” By being part of that network, the Sheriff’s Office will be able to access each camera, though no one owning a camera would be able to see another camera in the network. The plan allows the city to start with 32 cameras and grow as large and as quickly as the community involvement allows. Cameras would talk advantage of the fiber optic cable the city has already allocated to the downtown area, as well as IP-‐based cameras for the Riverwalk, where the fiber does not reach. Roundtree said the cameras would require a city investment of under $350,000. Perhaps the most controversial element of the plan was the Continuously Patrolled District (CPD) that would be modeled after the disbanded Business Improvement District (BID) previously administered by the Downtown Development Authority. The BID, which was allowed to expire last year, funded the Clean Augusta Downtown Initiative (CADI), which fell into disfavor almost as soon as it was created. Primarily a downtown cleaning program, CADI billed itself as provided a slight level of security by having extra sets of eyes and ears moving throughout the downtown community. “The CPD is a proactive and innovative way to use the Business Improvement District mechanism to provide actual police officers solely dedicated to the downtown area in addition to the officers who already patrol the area,” Roundtree said. “It will provide the area with three uniformed police officers with access to bicycles and patrol cars in addition to the officers who are already there.” It would also provide the area with three community safety officers to provide additional security at a much-‐reduced price who could assist in 11JULY2013
crime prevention, traffic control, parking violations, citizen assistance and special downtown events. Currently, the downtown area is assigned two bicycle deputies and one parking enforcement deputy. The CPD would add to that, increasing the total number to nine officers strictly devoted to downtown, with the potential to grow to 15 within five years. Such a plan could be put in place with money spent by the BID, though it would be managed by the Sheriff’s Office with input from a board of directors. However, unlike the CADI program, it would not need a project manager or other outside staff. “We will manage the project, so therefore all these monies you would spend on that goes directly into service without a recurring cost,” Roundtree said. The best thing, Roundtree added, is that this framework could be used in other places across the city. According to Administrator Fred Russell, the BID money, which as before would be raised through a tax on the properties in the area, would simply fund law enforcement activities. “I think it’s important that we all understand that,” he said. “The second phase is going to be based on what we use with our gateways and where we’ve had people come to us and say, ‘I voluntarily want to help participate in keeping the downtown clean.’” In other words, the tax-‐funded BID would be a requirement for property owners, should a majority vote to implement it, while the cleanliness portion of it would be funded voluntarily.
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photo courtesy steven hewitt
The Soul City Sirens look to add another win to their 4-1 season when they play Asheville’s Blue Ridge Rollergirls French Broads on Sunday, July 14, at 6 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the door; DOD employees get in for $8. Kids 12 and under get in free. Visit soulcitysirens.com
ENTERTAIN
Arts
Adult Artist Workshop: Sweetgrass Baskets is Saturday, July 13, from 1-4 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. South Carolina artist Mary GrahamGrant teaches weaving techniques for creating traditional sweetgrass baskets. All materials included. Members $40; non-members $50. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.
on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Protect and Serve,” an exhibit highlighting the stories of CSRA law enforcement officers, is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.
Tangled Threads Quilters Guild is Sunday, July 14, from 1-4 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Spinning, knitting, weaving and felting will be demonstrated. Free with museum admission. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.
“Delightful Decanters” is a temporary exhibit on display at the Augusta Museum of History featuring colorful bottles used to sell products as late as the 1970s. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.
Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.
Savannah River Bluegrass will perform Thursday, July 11, at 7 p.m. at the Verandah at the Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta as part of the Music in the Park Series. Free. Visit naartscouncil.org.
Corks & Canvas painting classes for adults 21 and over are held every Tuesday and Thursday night beginning at 7 p.m. and last 2-3 hours. Painting materials provided. Bring your own wine and clothes to paint in. $30; $25 with military I.D. Pre-registration required. Call 706-868-0990 or visit pstudio.com.
Exhibitions
Opening reception for artists Cathy Armstrong, Linda Hardy and Susan Porterfield will be held Thursday, July 11, from 5-7 p.m. at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. The exhibit will be on display through August 30. Free. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. “Capturing the Canal” Art Show will exhibit through July 30 at the Kroc Center. Reception and winner announcement will be Friday, July 12, from 6-7 p.m. (free and open to the public). The six winning photos will be unveiled as a permanent part of the décor of the Café on the Canal located inside the Kroc Center at the winning ceremony. Call 706-364KROC or visit krocaugusta.org. The Godfather of Soul James Brown exhibit is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Blast From the Past” is on display at Augusta Museum of History to celebrate the museum’s 75th anniversary. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Local Legends” is a permanent exhibit highlighting Augusta notables 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Music
Buzz Clifford will perform at the Candlelight Jazz Concert Series on Sunday, July 14, at 8 p.m. at the 8th Street River Stage. $6; free for children under 13. Participants are invited to bring their own seating and picnic. Visit gardencityjazz.com.
ME
CSRA Writers will meet Monday, July 15, at 6:30 p.m. at Georgia Military College, 115 Davis Road. Bring eight copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. Call 706-836-7315.
Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706- 737-0012 or visit bn.com.
Dance
Augusta Christian Singles holds dances every Saturday night, beginning at 8 p.m., with free dance lessons at 7 p.m. Dances are held at Ballroom Dance Center, 525 Grand Slam Drive (off Evans to Locks Road) in Evans. $10. Admission includes light meal or heavy refreshments, desserts, soft drinks and coffee in an alcohol/smoke free environment, and music includes country, shag, oldies and more. Dress is casual (jeans are fine). All singles 18 years old and up are welcome. Visit christiandances.org. Belly Dance Class is held every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek and Wallace libraries. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 (Euchee Creek), 706-722- 6275 (Wallace) or visit ecgrl.org.
Karen Gordon and Garden City Jazz perform Monday, July 15, at 7 p.m. at the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stages as part of the Hopelands Summer Concert Series in Aiken. Free. Call 803-642-7631.
Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.
Preston and Weston will perform Thursday, July 18, at 7 p.m. at the Verandah at the Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta as part of the Music in the Park Series. Free. Visit naartscouncil.org.
Zumba with Sohailla is held every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com.
Thursday Night Jazz at the Willcox takes place every Thursday at the Willcox in Aiken. Visit thewillcox.com.
Saturday Night Dance with live music is each Saturday night at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 from 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. $5. Call 706-495-3219.
The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-364- 4069 or visit krocaugusta.org. Live Country Music at the Fraternal Order of Eagles, 1999 Scott Road, is every Saturday night at 8:30 p.m. Admission is $5. Call 706-790-8040.
Literary
Diamond Lakes Evening Book Group is Monday, July 15, from 6-7:45 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Contact the library for the book to be discussed. Light refreshments provided. No registration necessary. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.
Theater
Auditions for “The Match Girl,” a musical adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Little Match Girl,” are Thursdays through July 18, (excluding July 4) by appointment at the Kroc Center. Parts are available for men, women and children, ages 9 and up. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com.
Flix
“The Names of Love” will show Thursday, July 11, at 7:30 p.m. at the Jabez Sanford Hardin Performing Art Center as part of the Second Annual Augusta Jewish Film Festival. Tickets required. Call 706-228-3636 or visit augustajcc.org. 11JULY2013
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Films on Friday: St. Louis Blues (1929) will be shown July 12 at noon at the Morris Museum of Art. The program includes other short musical films featuring Louis Armstrong, Fats Waller and Cab Calloway. After the films, museum director Kevin Grogan leads a discussion. Participants are invited to bring a lunch. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Adult/Teen Movie Night is Wednesday, July 17, at 6 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. “Warm Bodies” will be shown. After R (a highly unusual zombie) saves Julie from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion a sequence of events that might transform the entire lifeless world. From the novel by Isaac Marion. Snacks are welcome in the meeting room only. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.
Special Events
Birthday Bash with Bluegrass and Blues is Friday, July 12, from 6-9 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta, 100 Georgia Ave, North Augusta. The event will feature live music including Flo Carter, The Henrys and Ryan Abel, as well as other activities. $10. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.
1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails.com.
Health
Center for Women Tour is Thursday, July 11, from 7-8 p.m. at Doctors Hospital, Medical Office Building 1. The tour, designed for attendance by both partners, will help get you acquainted with the hospital and answer any questions you might have about labor and delivery or Family Centered Maternity Care. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Lamaze Childbirth Education is Saturday, July 13, from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at trinity Hospital. This one day class will help you and your support person understand the final stages of pregnancy as well as labor and the birth of your baby. This class will discuss both natural and medicated (epidural) deliveries. You will learn Lamaze coping techniques such as
Breastfeeding Class will be held Tuesday, July 16, at 6 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center, 6th floor classroom. Learn successful breastfeeding techniques. This course includes the advantages of breastfeeding for mother and baby, prenatal preparation, keys to successful breastfeeding and expressing and storing breast milk. Registration is required, and the class is open only to patients of ARMC. $5. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.
American Red Cross Babysitter Training is Thursday, July 18, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center. Students ages 11 to 15 learn about leadership, safety, basic care and first aid in order to provide safe, responsible care. Drinks provided. © 2013 SketchCrowd, LLC / www.sketchcrowd.com Registration required. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Advancements in Stroke at Aiken Regional Medical Centers is Thursday, July 18, at 6 p.m. at Towncreek Baptist Church in Aiken. Major advancements in stroke treatment and prevention have occurred over the last several years. Drs. Dillon and Pennington will discuss these advancements and answer questions you may have regarding the treatments for stroke currently being implemented at ARMC. A free, light dinner will be served. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.
Amateur Series Grand Finale is Friday, July 12, at 7:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Exhibition Center. Call 706868-3349 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Arts and Heritage Day is Saturday, July 13, from 10 a.m.2 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta, 100 Georgia Ave, North Augusta. There will be historical seminars and artists painting live. Free. Call 803-4414380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.
Breastfeeding Class will be presented Thursday, July 18, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital, Medical Building One, Suite 310. Getting started, latching on and positioning are discussed for a smooth start to breastfeeding. Call 706-651-BABY (2229).
Karaoke ‘80s Night is Saturday, July 13, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Free. Call 706-312-1358 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. 4th Annual Hot Roast & Toast Celebration is Thursday, July 18, at 7 p.m. at Augusta Mini Theatre, 2458 Deans Bridge Rd. Robert “Flash” Gordon is this year’s honoree. $50 individuals; $500 per table. Visit augustaminitheatre.com.
Yoga Class is offered by the Kroc Center every Saturday at The Augusta Market downtown, 10-11 a.m. Free. Bring your own mat. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:459:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets. Call 803-642- 7631.
Evans Towne Farmers Market is held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through October 24 (excluding July 4) from 4:30-7 p.m. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking and fitness demos, as well as education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit evanstownefarmersmarket.com.
Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706 394-0590, email sbeasley@ augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html.
Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Saturday Market at the River is each Saturday through November 23 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead downtown and features vendors, food, drinks, entertainment and a group run that begins at 8 a.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com.
no matter how old they are. This class will prepare big brothers and sisters for the new arrival and teach them how to participate in the care of the baby. A visit to the nursery is also included. Call 706-481-7000 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.
Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.
Wine Tastings are the first Friday and third Thursday of each month from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. $5. Call 803-279-9522.
“Just wonderin’, Captain. . . Does massage, relaxation, and patterned breathing. Information will this be provided on themake immediateus bonding period with your newborn as well as postpartum poachers or murderers?” adjustment. A tour of our Family-Focused Childbirth unit is also included in the class. Please make sure to wear comfortable clothes and bring two pillows. Call 706-481-7000 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.
Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; nonmembers, $5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.
Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from
Our New Baby Sibling Class is Monday, July 15, from 4-5 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. A new baby is a major event for all family members,
Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3).
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Free. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.
The Chatterbox Club of Augusta, a support group for individuals and their families who have experienced a laryngectomy, meets the second Sunday of each month (except June and July) at 3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room. Call 706481-7359 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.
Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $11; non-members $22. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.
Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-394-6484 or 706-821-2600, or visit ecgrl.org.
Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; non-members, $20. Call 706-922 9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.
Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org.
Support
Cancer Survivor Support group is Thursday, July 11, at 6 p.m. at Augusta Oncology Associates, 3696 Wheeler Rd. This is a support group for people with all different types of cancer and their family members. Call 706651-2283 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Weight Loss Support Group meets Thursday, July 18, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital south Tower, Classroom 1. Call 706-651-4343. Overeaters Anonymous meets at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, 7:30 p.m., Tuesdays and at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. Call 907-854-1509. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org. Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331. Alcoholics Anonymous open discussion meeting takes place every Sunday and Wednesday, 7:15 p.m. at Aurora Pavilion in Aiken. Call 806-6415000 or visit aikenregional.com/hospital-services/ behavioral-health-services. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors- hospital.net. Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. Free. Pre-registration requested. Call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org. Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GRU. Call 706-721- 8299 or visit gru.edu. Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170. Living With Diabetes, a program designed to teach skills needed to manage diabetes, is offered at Trinity Hospital. Physician referral required. Call 706-4817535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. 20 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Celiac Disease Support Group. Open to anyone who has celiac disease, is gluten intolerant or on a gluten free diet. Group meets on the third Tuesday of each month from 7-8:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital in Room 120 of the Summerville Professional Building adjacent to the Hospital. Visit trinityofaugusta.com.
Natural Family Planning Support Group meets locally. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Overeaters Support Group meets locally. Call 706-7850006 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Parents of Hearing-Impaired Children meets locally. Call 706-481-7396 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Reach for Recovery is presented locally by the American Cancer Society. Call 706-731-9900 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706-855- 2419. Bereavement Grief Support for Adults meets the first Wednesday of each month from noon-1 p.m. At Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ cafeteria dining room A. Registration is required. Call 803-641-5389. Alzheimer’s Support Group meets the second Tuesday of each month from 11 a.m.-noon at the Cumberland Village Library in Aiken. Visit aikenregional.com.
Education
New Databases, an introduction to the East Central Georgia Regional Library’s new databases, will be presented Thursday, July 11, from 11 a.m.-noon at the Appleby Branch Library. Ages 18 and up. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Famous Entertainers from Augusta will be presented Saturday, July 13, at 2:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Don Rhodes will discuss the famous entertainers that came from the CSRA. Join us to discover all the famous people who came from Augusta. Free. Call 706-821-2623 or visit ecgrl.org. Georgia Download Destination (GADD) Help is Monday, July 15, from 10-11 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. You’ll learn how to download eBooks and audio-books for free from Georgia Download Destination. Participants need a general knowledge of computers and experience using the Internet. Space is limited; registration is required. Free. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. E-Books is Tuesday, July 16, from 11 a.m.-noon at the Appleby Branch Library. Bring your E-book reader and learn how to access titles. Ages 18 and up. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. YouTube: A How-To Guide will be presented Thursday, July 18, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. In this class participants will learn how to navigate YouTube, create and maintain their own channel and upload videos to YouTube. Participants need a general knowledge of computing and experience using Internet resources. Limited seating. Registration is required. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday 11JULY2013
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Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta aboard the Lady Libby boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends, including the legend of the famous Haunted Pillar. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706722-8454 or visit augustaga.org.
from 2:30-4 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu.
Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.
GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.
Live Roller Derby is Sunday, July 14, at 6 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. Augusta’s Soul City Sirens will take on the Blue Ridge Rollergirls French Broads from Asheville, NC. $10 in advance, $15 at the door. Kids 12 and under are free. Visit soulcitysirens.com.
Sports-Outdoors
English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6-7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.
Augusta GreenJackets home games are as follows: Wednesday, July 17, and Thursday, July 18, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Lakewood Blue Claws at GreenJackets Stadium. $1-$15. Call 706-922-9467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.
Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to the public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org.
Triple 8 Group Run meets at 8th and Reynolds, 8 a.m., every Saturday through October 26. Choose your distance: 3, 6 or 8 miles. Open to everyone. Visit theaugustamarket.com.
Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@ cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.
Adult swim lessons are offered at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for ages 13 and up. Days and times vary by branch. Members $55 per month; nonmembers $85 per month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.com.
Augusta’s
POWDERCOAT& M ETAL R E S T O R A T I O N
Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com.
25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net.
Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org.
Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com.
Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries.org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/ hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average
Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722- 8878.
If it’s metal, we can sandblast, powdercoat and make it last!
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The sweetest little zombie movie you’ll ever see, “Warm Bodies” shows as par t of Adult/Teen Movie Night on Wednesday, July 17, at 6 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. As you watch the movie, based on the novel by Isaac Marion, see if you can also spot the biblical allegory. Snacks are welcome in the meeting room only. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 p.m. daily through 2013. Call 706-823- 0440 or visit augustacanal.com.
Kids-Teens
What’s in the Box? Paint a Story is Thursday, July 11, at 10 a.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Look at work by folk artist William H. Clarke and create a painting that tells a story with help from a surprise in the box. Members, free; non-members $4. Registration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Mr. Bill, Singer and Storyteller, performs Thursday, July 11, at 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. “We Dig to Singing, Dancing, and Reading” with Mr. Bill, Ms. Nancy and his guitar, George. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Porkchop Productions presents” The Three Goats’ Gruff” Thursday, July 11, at 10 a.m., at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Live music, dance, and audience participation highlight this story about friendship and holding fast to your dreams. Best for ages 2-12, but all ages will enjoy the performance. Free. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org. Cherokee in Georgia is Thursday, July 11, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Robin Turi from the 4-H Club will present this program. Free. Call 706-7246762 or visit ecgrl.org. LEGO Club is Thursday, July 11, from 4-5 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Open to grades K-5. No registration is required, and LEGOs are supplied. Free. Call 803-642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Frankenweenie” will be shown Friday, July 12, at 1 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Young Victor conducts a science experiment to bring his beloved dog Sparky back to life, only to face unintended, sometimes monstrous, consequences. Free. Call 803642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Vampire Dog” will be shown Friday, July 12, at 3 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. A boy unwittingly adopts a 600 year old talking vampire dog and soon discovers that when they face their fears, they can do anything. Free. Call 803-642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org. Return to the Civil War Era is Friday, July 12, at 3 p.m. at the North Augusta Branch Library. Here’s your chance to get an in-depth look at the Civil War with a close-up look at period clothing, weapons, and more. Free. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Pond Exploration is Saturday, July 13, from 9-10 a.m. at Reed Creek Park. With dip nets in hand, children will explore and learn about what critters live in the pond. Be prepared to get wet and muddy (bring boots!) For ages 5 and up. Children must be accompanied by an 22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
adult. Pre-registration is required. Free for members; non-members are $3 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Home Alone will be presented Saturday, July 13, from 9 a.m.-noon at Aiken Regional Medical Center, 6th floor classroom. The Home Alone program is for children ages 8 to 11 and provides information about how they can care for themselves when they are home alone. Topics include: what to do in case of emergency; how to handle boredom, fear and loneliness; and how to establish a personal support system. Registration is required. $10. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Creek Walk is Saturday, July 13, from 10-11:30 a.m. at Mistletoe State Park. We’ll take a short hike to Cliatt Creek, net some creek critters, and see what we can learn about the aquatic friends that call the creek home. Wear comfortable shoes -- preferably ones that can get wet. $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe. “The Croods” will be shown Saturday, July 13, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters branch Library. The Croods is a prehistoric comedy adventure that follows the world’s first family as they embark on a journey of a lifetime when the cave that has always shielded them from danger is destroyed. Traveling across a spectacular landscape, the Croods discover an incredible new world filled with fantastic creatures, and their outlook is changed forever. Free. Call 706-821-2623 or visit ecgrl.org. Annual Summer Music Workshop is Monday-Friday, July 15-19, from 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m. each day at St. Alban’s Episcopal Church. Call 706-664-9022 or visit creativeimpressions.org. Exploration of Caves is Monday, July 15, from 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Cave Masters will share the excitement and fun of exploring caves. Ages 11-17. Free. Call 706-7366244 or visit ecgrl.org. Techniques with Media in Anime and Manga is Monday, July 15, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. This class, taught by artist and “Manga guru” Xavier Jones, is great for beginners and experienced artists alike. Best for ages 11 and up. Registration is required. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Catching Fire is Monday, July 15, at 7 p.m. at the North Augusta Branch Library. Celebrate the second book and upcoming movie Catching Fire with us. Try your hand at the javelin throw, dare to try a poison berry. Crafts, Games, and more. Free. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Junior Rangers is Tuesday, July 16, from 9:30 a.m.-2 p.m. at Mistletoe State Park. What dangers are in the woods? Jr. Rangers will learn this and more on a morning nature hike. Who lives in the lake? You will seine the lake to find out. Jr. Rangers will make their own dip net and create a fish kite. You will end the day with water games. Bring your own lunch. Wear shoes &
clothes that can get wet. $20. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe. Larry “The Birdman” and His Amazing Birds will be presented Tuesday, July 16, from 10-10:45 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Watch Larry’s birds perform amazing tricks while learning about parrots, macaws, and other exotic birds. Best for ages 4 and older. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Jazz for Kids is Tuesday, July 16, from 10-11 a.m.at the Friedman Branch Library. “Sing, Clap, Wiggle, and Shake” with Ms. Karen of Garden City Jazz in this high energy program that’s fun for all ages. Free. Call 706736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Movies at Maxwell: “Ice Age: Continental Drift” will be shown Tuesday, July 16, at 3 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Free. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Karen Gordon-Jazz will be presented Wednesday, July 17, from 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Karen Gordon will present a program on jazz. Ages 2 and up. Free. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Family Movie Matinee: “The Lorax” will be shown Wednesday, July 17, at 1 p.m. at the Evans Branch Library. Free. Call 706-312-1358 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Pirate School is Wednesday, July 17, at 2 and 3 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Pirates in training can sail the high seas with stories, pirate speak, and a treasure hunt! Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. It’s Jawsome! Shark Fest! Is Wednesday, July 17, from 3-6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Come celebrate all things about sharks. Play games, eat snacks, and make crafts with a shark theme while watching shark videos. Best for ages 11-17. No registration required. Just drop-in. Free. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org. Children’s Craft: Egyptian Mobiles will be presented Wednesday, July 17, from 3:30-4:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Ages 6 and up. Space is limited. Registration required. Free. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. Larry’s Amazing Bird Show is Thursday, July 18, from 10-11 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Mr. Larry presents an exciting show with live exotic birds. It will be fun for the whole family. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Bicycle Safety with Outspokin’ Bicycles will be presented Thursday, July 18, from 2-3 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Registration is required. Call 706-8212623 or email mccoye@ecgrl.org to register. “The Hunger Games” will be shown Thursday, July 18, at 2 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.
Upcycled Art for Teens is Thursday, July 18, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Jeanine Rodriguez returns to guide you in creating an amazing mixed media art piece using recyclable materials, ink, and paint. Wear clothes you don’t mind getting paint on. Open to rising 6-12 graders. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. Paws to Read is every Tuesday in July from 11 a.m.noon at the Aiken Branch Library. Struggling readers in grades K-5 can register to read to a trained therapy dog who loves to listen to stories. Registered children will have a weekly 20-minute session with a dog and handler. Pre-registration and a signed permission slip is required for this event. Stop by the first floor circulation desk to register. Call 803-642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org. Watson-Brown Foundation Junior Board needs members. Looking for high-school students to spend one evening a month learning about historic preservation, grants and philanthropy. Call 706595-7777, email mzupan@hickory-hill.org or visit hickory-hill.org. DuPont Planetarium shows for Saturdays in July are “Explorers of Mauna Kea” at 8 p.m. and “Digistar Laser Fantasy” at 9 p.m. Weather permitting, the observatory, housing the Bechtel Telescope, will be available for viewing after each show. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; 4K-12 $2.50; valid college or military I.D. gets you a 50-percent discount; USCA faculty, staff and students $1. Kids under 4 not permitted in public viewings. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654. Georgia Connections Academy, a free virtual public charter school has spots for 1,000 K-12 students in Georgia. Call 800-382-6010 or visit connectionsacademy.com/georgia-school/enrollment/ home.aspx. Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; nonmembers, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. 11JULY2013
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Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.
FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS
Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday- Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov. Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit krocaugusta.org. Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706- 556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05- 10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736- 6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, 11JULY2013
by Andrew Bergman
,WN[ Ŗ #WIWUV &KPPGT R O ^ 5JQY R O Directed by Richard Justice Featuring $GVV[ 9CNRGTV Ŗ 5VGXG 9CNRGTV Ŗ #XGT[ 8KNNKPGU Ŗ 6GF 0GYVQP Ŗ )GPG *QYCTF Ŗ -C[ )TQUU Two married art dealers struggle with a visit from the wife’s goody-goody sister, her uptight CPA husband, and eccentric sour-ball-spitting mother who are there to save their collegestudent daughter from running wild. The play is a hoot, and better yet a sophisticated, even civilized hoot. This show is full of laughs and good humor! – The New York Post
MENU
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TICKETS
Civilians: $43 | Seniors (65 & over), Retirees, DA Civilians, Active-Duty E7 & above: $40 Active-Duty E6 & below: $35 | Show only: $25
For reservations, call 706-793-8552 Not recommended for children. Some adult humor. Produced in cooperation with the Army Entertainment Program and Samuel French, Inc.
AUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989 Â
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is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.
on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:306:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5- 8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854- 0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.
Silver Sneakers, a senior exercise class, meets each Wednesday and Friday from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.
Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org.
Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday 9-10 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. and on Fridays from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo.com. Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org. Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-733-9491.
Seniors
Silversneakers strength and range of movement class is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
Tai Chi for Seniors is held 11 a.m.-noon every Thursday at Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 706-394-0590 visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html. Dancin’ with the Young at Heart, an event geared toward those ages 50 and older although anyone is welcome, is each Friday at 7:30 p.m. at the Aiken DAV. In addition to dancing to Yesterday’s Sounds, there will also be prize drawings, snacks and drinks. $6. Call 803-292-3680.
Hobbies
Bingo at the Fraternal Order of Eagles, 1999 Scott Road, is at 1:30 p.m. on Sundays, and at 6 p.m. on Mondays and Thursdays. Call 706-7908040. Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364- 5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.
Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at Nor th Augusta Church of Christ on W. Mar tintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org.
Computer Classes for Seniors are taught at The Kroc Center Mondays and Thursdays. Registration required. Visit krocaugusta.org.
Bingo is held every Saturday at 1 p.m. at American Legion Post 205 on Highland Avenue. Call 706-495-3219.
Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. $27 for 10 tickets; free for SilverSneakers members. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
Spiritual
Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. $31 for 10 tickets; free for SilverSneakers Swipe Card members. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
DECLASSIFIED
Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken
Bible Teaching Seminar: God Is Great Job Series is Saturday, July 13, from 12:15-1:15 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. The book of Job, chapters 36-42, will be covered. Participants should bring their Bibles. Free. Call 706-691-4023. Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.
Have you Aerated your yard?
Volunteer
Hospice volunteers needed at Alliance Hospice to provide comfort, companionship and emotional support to patients and families, as well as assisting with chores and clerical duties and using other talents to benefit patients. Training provided. Call 706-4472461, email mwhite@alliancehospice.com or visit alliancehospice.com. Aiken Regional Medical Centers is looking for volunteers. Call 803-641-5021 or visit aikenregional.com.
Center and Family Y of North Jefferson for all skill levels. Members, $43 a month; non-members, $63 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Story time is held at the Warren County Library in Warrenton at 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays. Call 706465-2656. Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.
The Georgia Regents University Cancer Center is looking for volunteers, especially those who are cancer survivors or caregivers. Adult program for those 18 and older; after-school program open to high-school juniors and seniors who are 17. Applications available at the Children’s Hospital of Georgia. Visit gru.edu/ volunteer or call 706-721-3596.
Story time and craft is held at the Burke County Library in Waynesboro at 10:30 a.m. Fridays for preschoolers. Call 706-554-3277 or visit ecgrl.org.
The Greater Augusta Arts Council offers volunteer opportunities for those interested in volunteering for events like Arts in the Heart, First Friday and special concerts, as well as helping in the GAAC office. Call 706-826-4702 or visit augustaarts.com.
Gymnastics Lessons offered at the Family Y of Thomson Center for a combination of age and ability levels. Members, $43 per month; non-members, $63 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.
Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@ msa-corp.com. MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held MondayThursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email mparks37@comcast.net or visit machacademy.com.
Story time is held at the Midville Branch Library in Midville at 4:30 p.m. Fridays. Call 478-589-7825 or visit ecgrl.org.
Art and Music Classes offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for all ages. Members, $25 per month; non-members, $35 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.
If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.
Miracle League Baseball, held by the Family Y, is looking for volunteers. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org. Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@ uh.org. Reed Creek Park offers opportunities to volunteers interested in collecting important data each month on the health of a local stream for the state of Georgia. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803-641-0060 or email kathibault@uhs- pruitt.com.
Elsewhere
Karate is offered at The Family Y of Thomson 130
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15 in 5
Because I love a list. Especially a random list. 1. Garden update: we have one cucumber. It’s a gigantic cucumber, but it’s all we have. A few of the plants drowned because of the rain. 2. We had a few strawberries at first, but I couldn’t figure out why the plant was growing so big and out of control. The strawberries quit coming. My knowledgeable brother in law took one look at laughed. “That’s not a strawberry plant.” What? We’d eaten strawberries from it only weeks before. As it turns out, my little strawberry farm had been overrun with a giant weed. We pulled it and fixed the soil, and the strawberries are back on track. 3. My herbs look great. Apparently, they’re kill proof. My houseplants are in a sad, sad state. 4. The oak leaf hydrangeas in my yard are massive. Besides watching the rain, I haven’t had a thing to do with their survival. That probably explains their success. Maybe I should put my houseplants outside. Will that work? 5. Speaking of rain, it’s easy to complain about, isn’t it? It could be worse, trust me. Y’all would be complaining if there wasn’t enough rain. Be glad we don’t have a drought this summer. 6. If it rains during your whole vacation, that’s not awesome. Please keep it all in perspective, though. At least you’re on vacation. 7. Looking for something to do this weekend? This one won’t be cancelled because of rain, either. Go to the roller derby bout. Augusta’s own Soul City Sirens battle the French Broads of Asheville, North Carolina, at the Red Wing Rollerway on Washington Road. Doors open at 5:30, and game begins at 6. If you buy tickets online, they’re just $10. $15 gets you in on game day. Children 12 and under are always free. Bring your folding chairs, and set up camp right on the rink, up next to the action. The White Horse sells beer, and all regular Red Wing concessions will be sold. 8. If you’re asking yourself “What in the heck goes on at a roller derby bout?” you aren’t alone. Several friends told us to take the kids, and I knew skates were involved. Never fear. The
refs spend a few minutes going over how it all works. After a couple of rounds, you’ll get it. 9. The latest buzz I’m hearing about The Riverwalk is the proposal that includes security cameras and a curfew. Since the trouble down there began, people blamed the police and their lack of presence. Now the police have come up with a potential solution, and everyone’s shouting “police state!” Hmmm. 10. I’m not sure what the answer is, but if the Riverwalk is closed from, say, midnight until 6 a.m., I don’t see that as a bad thing. Call me old fashioned, but nothing good happens down there during those hours anyway. If you find that to be restrictive and absolutely have to be out and about, I’m fairly certain there are other places to go.
11. I hate to even bring it up, since he hasn’t been convicted yet. But I will. The accused flasher story is so weird, Augusta. It was one thing for him to have shown his bits once. Turns out he may have done it several times, in several counties. Yuck. 12. Hey buddy? If we wanted to see it, we’d ask. From what I’ve heard, it might’ve been hard to see anyway. Even if you didn’t do it, you’ve done something to make people think you’re sketchy. Here’s some advice. Stop that. Whatever it is. 13. Also on the Augusta front (but not having to do with that guy’s front), there’s a critical blood shortage right now. Summer schedules shrink the donor pools. Shepeard Community Blood Center has branches in Augusta, Evans and Aiken. Get out there. Donors usually get a free T-‐shirt and lunch. You
can donate every eight weeks. 14. You should always give 100 percent. Unless you’re donating blood. Heh. 15. I can’t believe we’re already halfway through the summer break. Enjoy it y’all, rain or shine. Cheers! Just be sure to use the potty before leaving the house. Don’t make me pull this car over.
JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her
husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.
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Hidden Stories
AMYCHRISTIAN
The Arts & Heritage Center of North Augusta celebrates fourth birthday Executive Director at the Arts & Heritage Center Lauren Virgo
North Augusta is a young city even by American standards, but it is rich in history. Most people in the area don’t know that, and also don’t know that they can discover tons of fascinating facts about Augusta’s counterpart across the river by visiting the Arts & Heritage Center of North Augusta. There they will encounter Lauren Virgo, who is the executive director of the center, as well as its only paid employee. She, an army of volunteers and a board of directors manage the center’s 7,000 square feet of space that includes three galleries, a gift shop that features work from nearly 100 local artists and archive space The center will celebrate its fourth birthday this Friday with a Birthday Bash, which focuses on local entertainment from Flo Carter, the Henrys, Ryan Abel, the Savannah River Stringband and the CSRA Shag Club. There will also be a birthday cake contest and other activities. Party guests, like the center’s visitors, will probably be most impressed by a model of North Augusta as it looked in 1906, the year it was founded. “It introduces folks to North Augusta’s history, gives them a quick breakdown of some of the important structures that were here in 1910, which is just four years after our founding,” Virgo explained. “It kind of introduces folks to us.” The model shows North Augusta founder’s James U. Jackson’s home, Rosemary Hall, as well as Jackson’s brother’s more impressive home. “The legend on that is that the brothers cut cards for it — the prime location — and James U. Jackson, who we consider the founder, lost and had to build off to the side,” she explained. “His brother got the awesome, perfect spot looking right down Georgia Avenue. And it’s still there.” The focal point of the model is, of course, 26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
the Hampton Terrace Inn, and Virgo can tell you all about the famous folks who stayed at the hotel before its destruction by fire in 1916: John D. Rockefeller, Robert Todd Lincoln, Elizabeth Custer and President William Howard Taft, who stayed twice, among them. After viewing the model, visitors go up a few steps and come to the main floor gallery that is now devoted to the entertainment history of North Augusta. Here they’ll find out about a natatorium that was once the jewel of North Augusta. “It was really wonderful, but it only existed for about five years before it caught on fire,” Virgo said. “That tends to be a common problem for North Augusta structures.” They’ll also learn about the Palmetto Park and Pond, an African-‐American entertainment center that hosted the likes of Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong Cab Calloway, as well as more recent performers that hail from North Augusta like Brenda Lee, Flo Carter and Sharon Jones. A permanent, interactive exhibit, that the center acquired from another museum after it closed, inhabits space toward the back for the center and shows the history of Aiken Barnwell, Bamberg and Orangeburg, from Native American times to modern day. The third gallery, on the second level of the center, is used when needed for special events and exhibitions. The center is located in the city’s Municipal Building on Georgia Avenue. And though they share space, the center is not affiliated with the government. “We do have kind of an identity issue sometimes, because people think we’re the North Augusta Museum and that the city funds us, which sometimes hurts us when we’re fundraising because they assume we’re golden,” she said. “And we are in the way of physical space. The physical space is gorgeous and there’s no way we could have afforded this on our own as a startup organization.” Instead, the city of North Augusta approached
the Arts Council of North Augusta and the Heritage Council of North Augusta when they began building the Municipal Center, explaining that they wanted at least half the space to be dedicated to public service. They proposed leasing the 7,000-‐square foot space. In 2006, the two organizations formed the Arts & Heritage Center of North Augusta board expressively for the purpose of opening the center. They did so in 2009 after three years of fundraising. Besides fundraising, the center supports itself through memberships ($30 a year), corporate sponsorships and grants. And though startup has been relatively pain-‐ free, the center suffers a little from anonymity. Getting the word out is something Virgo and the board feel is an important goal going into their fifth year. “Marketing is going to be a very big goal of ours in the coming year,” the Clemson grad said. “Now that we have our financial stability under us, we’re trying to move forward with getting ourselves out there more and hosting more events. I think by getting out there and providing these community events, it’ll kind of draw people in and introduce them to us.” And, Virgo said, it’s important that people know the center is here. “A lot of people just don’t know the hidden stories that are here. I never knew there was a natatorium. And the Hampton Terrace was something I had heard about but I had no clue about the richness of it,” Virgo explained. “Stories like that are slowly being lost to time and if we don’t take the effort to bring it to the forefront then who’s going to make sure that message gets out there?” Birthday Bash with Bluegrass and Blues North Augusta Municipal Building Friday, July 12 6-‐9 p.m. $10 803-‐441-‐4380 artsandheritagecenter.com
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Michael Johnson
mejphoto.photoreflect.com
Dustin Scott, Christina Painter, Melissa Canas and Tom Cole at Le Chat Noir.
SIGHTINGS
Ashley Westbrook, Michael Silvio Fortino, Andrea Collins and Jerrod Roberts at Le Chat Noir.
Mike Hensley, Cassie Kunes, Jessica Cobb and Josh Arminio at Le Chat Noir.
SIGHTINGS
Scott Carr, Angela Ambrosio, Kayla Golliher and Sarah Allen at First Friday.
Matt and Jordan Jackson with Meagan and Matt Runnels at the Whiskey Bar (Kitchen).
SIGHTINGS
Hope Walton, Christina Fullux and Christa Goodwin at the Country Club.
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Josan Rivera, Alicia Chan and Alice Woodhurst at Metro Coffeehouse and Pub.
Angie Minestra, Tiffany Justice, Brianna Rectenwald and Jessica Kent at Limelite Cafe.
Michael Johnson
mejphoto.photoreflect.com
Marybeth Campbell, Jena Hart and Katelyn Byers at the Bee’s Knees.
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July 11 11Thursday, Live Music
Maude Edenfield Park (North Augusta) - Savannah River Bluegrass Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Polo Tavern - John Kolbeck Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - Hope for Harlee Benefit w/ She N She and Joe Cruz Somewhere in Augusta - Mason Jars The Willcox - Golden Harvest Food Bank Benefit w/ Collective Soul’s Ed Roland Wild Wing - Jonathan Rooks Trio
Vancouver, a sometimes-solo act, sometimes full band from Atlanta headed up by Chris Adams, visits MAD Studios Friday, July 12. Doors for most shows at this all-ages, nosmoking venue, located at 307 ½ 11th Street, usually open at 7 p.m. and you’ll want to be there early to see Adams, who has been described as having the voice of an angel and the look of someone who might rob you. For ticket information, visit madstudiosaugusta.com.
What’s Tonight?
Bar on Broad - Liddle Ugleez Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke MAD Studios - Open Mic Poetry and Spoken Word w/ The Beauty Fools, Leslie Raezer, John Stoney Cannon Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke party with Carolina Entertainment Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Shannon’s - Karaoke Surreal at Surrey - College and F&B Night Surrey Tavern - Dueling Pianos Karaoke Tavern at the Bean - Ladies Night Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke
12
Friday, July 12 Live Music
The Bean Baskette - She N She Carolina Ale House - Jim Perkins Columbia County Library Amphitheatre - Amateur Night Country Club - John Karl Doubletree - Jazz The Highlander - Bill Scoggins, Willie and the Hand Factory Joe’s Underground - Bone Chilly MAD Studios - Vancouver PI Bar & Grille - Live Jazz Polo Tavern - Josh Hilley Sky City - Funk You Somewhere In Augusta - Granny’s Gin The Stables at Rose Hill Estate - Gavin Reilly Stillwater Taproom - BlueBilly Grit Surrey Tavern - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Tavern at the Bean - Musicians Hangout w/ Nine Local Arts Performing Wild Wing - Tim Cardiere Band
What’s Tonight?
Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Friday Night House Party Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - Mix Masterson 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rana Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - ‘80s Night Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest
July 13 13Saturday, Live Music
100 Laurens - Gavin Riley The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Columbia County Library Amphitheatre - Karaoke Night Country Club - Holland Marie The First Round - Opposite Box P.I. Bar and Grill - Smooth/Vocal Jazz Shannon’s - Perfect Picture Sky City - Ponderosa, Yip Deceiver, Grizzly Harris Somewhere In Augusta - The Unmentionables Surrey Tavern - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Wild Wing - Long Road Home Band
What’s Tonight?
Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Saturday Night Dance Party and Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Karaoke The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke party with Carolina Entertainment Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Tavern at the Bean - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke
July 14 14Sunday, Live Music
5 O’Clock Bistro - Courtland Saxon Candlelight Jazz - Buzz Clifford MAD Studios - Andy the Doorbum, Celia, Philip Baldy Partridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - Dave & Michael The Willcox - Live Jazz
What’s Tonight?
Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Polo Tavern - Bingo Night Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner
July 15 15Monday, Live Music
Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) - Karen Gordon & Garden City Jazz Shannon’s - Open Mic Night
What’s Tonight?
Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Chevy’s - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Poker Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia The Playground - DJ Rana Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker Wild Wing - Trivia
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Tuesday, July 16 Live Music
The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz
What’s Tonight?
Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night w/ Free Lessons Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Joe’s Underground - Karaoke Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia Mi Rancho - Cornhole Carolina Meeting
The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night
July 17 17Wednesday, Live Music
Joe’s Underground - Jacob Beltz MAD Studios - Rock Revival Wednesday w/ Dale Lewis Jr. Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Wild Wing - AcostA
What’s Tonight?
100 Laurens - Trivia Night with Moose Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Robolli’s Italian Bar & Grill - Open Mic Comedy Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Roy Haber and Ricky Reyes Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey
Upcoming
The Gilded Youth, Dirty Realists - Sky City July 18 Preston & Weston - Maude Edenfield Park, North Augusta July 18 Eric Scott Band - Country Club July 19 The Guilded Youth, Dirty Realists - Sky City July 19 Rolling Nowhere - Stillwater Taproom July 19 Michael Stacey Band - Country Club July 20 Saint Happening - Joe’s Underground July 20 Waller - Stillwater Taproom July 20 The Henrys - 5 O’Clock Bistro July 21 Edwin Hamilton Trio (Charleston) - Candlelight Jazz July 21 4 Cats in the Dog House - Hopelands Gardens July 22 Black Tusk, Chairleg - Sky City July 24 246th Army Jazz Band and Art Show - Maude 11JULY2013
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Edenfield Park, North Augusta July 25 The (Joel Cruz) Method - Sky City July 26 Burning Angels - Stillwater Taproom July 26 Sibling String Farewell Show, the Kenny George Band - Sky City July 27 Funk You - 5 O’Clock Bistro July 28 Courtland Saxon & Desire - Candlelight Jazz July 28 Ken Gabriel Band - Hopelands Gardens July 29 Weaving the Fate, Kelen Heller, F.O.C.U.S. - Sky City August 3 Tony Williams & Blues Express - Candlelight Jazz August 4 Aiken Big Band - Hopelands Gardens August 5 Mindless Behavior All Around the World Tour w/ OMG Girlz & CoCo Jones - Bell Auditorium August 8 Black Iron Gathering - Stillwater Taproom August 9 Preston & Weston - Candlelight Jazz August 11 Aiken Brass - Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) August 12 Dank Sinatra - Sky City August 15 Era 9, Right to Fall, False Flag - Sky City August 16 Mississippi Kites - Stillwater Taproom August 16 The Darnell Boys, Burning Angels - Stillwater Taproom August 17 Sounds Unlimited - Candlelight Jazz August 18 Fort Gordon Band - Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) August 19 Mother’s Finest, Greg Hester - Sky City August 23 Monkeygrass Jug Band - Stillwater Taproom August 23 Will McCranie - Stillwater Taproom August 24 quietSTORM - Candlelight Jazz August 25 Aiken Concert Band - Hopelands Gardens August 26 The Last Bison - Sky City August 26 Labor Day Jazz Festival - Augusta Common September 1
Elsewhere
Lil Wayne, T.I., Future - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 12 Carolina Chocolate Drops, Keller Williams - Atlanta Botanical Garden, Atlanta July 12 Beyonce - Arena at Gwinnett Center, Duluth July 12 Phish - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta July 16-17 Robert Plant - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta July 19 Anita Baker - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 19 Boz Scaggs - Atlanta Botanical Garden, Atlanta July 19 Living Colour - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta July 19 The Black Crowes, Tedeschi Trucks Band, The London Souls - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta July 20 OAR - Tabernacle, Atlanta July 20 Vans Warped Tour 2013 w/ Reel Big Fish, Wallpaper, the Story So Far, Hawthorne Heights and more - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 25 Barenaked Ladies, Ben Folds 5, Guster, Boothby Graffoe - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta July 26 Lyle Lovett - Atlanta Botanical Garden, Atlanta July 26 Keith Urban, Little Big Town, Dustin Lynch - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta July 27 The Corduroy Road, Packway Handle Band Mellow Mushroom, Macon July 27 Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival w/ Rob Zombie, Machine Head, Behemoth, Amon Amarth, Children of Bodom, Mastodon and more - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 30
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THE
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BOX TOPS
Gru and his Minions conquer the competition for the best five-day animated movie opening ever.
EIGHT
RANK
TITLES
WEEKEND GROSS
TOTAL GROSS
WEEK #
LAST WEEK
1
DESPICABLE ME 2
$83,517,315
$143,074,960
1
-
2
THE LONE RANGER
$29,210,849
$48,715,010
1
-
3
THE HEAT
$24,763,907
$86,259,195
2
2
4
MONSTERS UNIVERSITY
$19,716,347
$216,253,979
3
1
5
WORLD WAR Z
$18,408,963
$158,989,638
3
3
“The Lone Ranger”
SAMEIFLING
Even a white dude playing a fine Tonto can’t save this hot mess The Western as tent-‐pole picture died last weekend under a barrage of exploded locomotive parts and dead Indians and general cluelessness. Gore Verbinski directed, Johnny Depp starred, Jerry Bruckheimer produced, Disney financed. On paper, “The Lone Ranger” could’ve been a frontier-‐ times “Pirates of the Caribbean,” which is presently spawning a fourth (!!) sequel. Instead it’s a copycat crime to “John Carter,” a property Disney dug up from the 1930s and tried to repackage for the 21st century. Disney has now blown more than half a billion dollars to get kids of the 2010s as geeked about a barbarian on Mars or about a masked Texas lawman as their great-‐ grandparents did 80 years earlier. Both throwbacks were thrown back. Audiences didn’t turn out for this 2.5-‐hour literal train wreck, and those that did were uncommonly old for Disney movies. The title character, played by Armie Hammer (the Winklevoss twins in “The Social Network”), brings an aw-‐shucksism best suited to either a prewar radio drama or a film in which the following do not happen: mass battlefield slaughter, the removal and consumption of a dying man’s heart, a scalping, thinly veiled rape threats, a child finding his village plundered and burned, and other assorted atrocities that stretch the confines of a PG rating. This is in many ways a hardcore “Lone Ranger” without a hardcore Lone Ranger, and if kids aren’t inspired to emulate a hero with a six-‐shooter these days, perhaps the better on ’em anyway. It isn’t the ’50s anymore, and any kid who unholsters a plastic Colt .45 at recess is asking for grown-‐up trouble.
JULY 12
ACTION
The filmmakers were under suspicion of tone-‐deafness since casting Depp, who is a white dude, as Tonto, who is not a white dude. There’s a long history of white dudes playing non-‐ white dudes in movies, and to cast yet another white dude in a role of a non-‐white dude not only takes a job away from a non-‐white dude, it puts everyone in a position of watching a white dude do an impersonation of a non-‐white dude, which carries so much cultural freight in the United States of America that you never really shake the icks. Why, you could reply, we don’t have a Native American actor with the wattage that Depp brings, so of course they cast the bankable star. To that I would reply, yes, that’s true, but one reason we don’t have such a star is that long ago white dudes killed many of the Indians whose great-‐great-‐great-‐grandchildren would’ve made a great Tonto. Seeing white people cast as Indians reminds me of those suburban subdivisions where developers cut down all the trees and then name the streets after them. For what it’s worth, Depp plays a fine Tonto, kind
“Pacific Rim,” rated PG-‐13, starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Charlie Day. Other than aliens, can anyone figure out from the trailers what the hell this one is about? Of course, given that this is from director Guillermo del Toro (“Pan’s Labyrinth”), we shouldn’t be too surprised by its vagueness.
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of a Jack Sparrow crossed with a mime. Tonto is designed as a character out of place and out of sorts — mystical, vengeful, absurd and aware. He’s the perfect embodiment of “The Lone Ranger” at its madcap high points, but neither he, nor the canny casting of William Fichtner and Tom Wilkinson as dark foils to Depp and Hammer, manages to salvage this hot mess. The story arc clearly aimed for this movie to work as an origin installment; we don’t even hear the iconic “Hi-‐Yo, Silver! Away!” until just before the final credits. But barring some sort of miracle revival, this is probably the last we’ve seen of the Lone Ranger and Tonto for quite some time. The cowboys’ time has come and gone, and the world again belongs to pirates.
ACTION
“Grown Ups 2,” rated PG-‐13, starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph, Mario Bello, Steve Buscemi, Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows, Jon Lovitz. Why, oh why, do people keep giving David Spade acting jobs? And we’re supposed to buy that these schlubs (Chris Rock excepted) are married to the likes of Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph and Mario Bello? Yuck… and, we bet, the No. 1 movie of the week.
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METROSPIRIT 33
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WHINE
LINE
Gay Pride was not born out of a need to celebrate being gay but instead the right to exist without persecution. So maybe instead of wondering why there isn’t a Straight Pride parade, perhaps straight people should be thankful they don’t need one!
I agree more with Austin than Josh, yet I enjoy reading Josh’s column, because he is a talented writer. Woah! You can enjoy something you disagree with? Yes! It’s possible! And I don’t care about Jenny Wright, so, I skip past it! If you don’t understand this basic way of looking at the world, then something in your life has gone very, very wrong.
WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM
Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.
up
Andy Murray becomes the first British man to win Wimbledon since 1936. Much rejoicing ensues, including from tennis officials and chair umpires, who are glad that they only get yelled at occasionally after reading the following…
Instead of just hanging up, I’ve been having fun messing with telemarketing scammers. Try getting a real person and then see how long you can get them to listen to your sad stories. Don’t tell them you have umbilical cord cancer; that’s my shtick. I try to keep them on until they drop their fake courtesy and start swearing. Tapes of these calls would make a great radio feature.
I dunno what that whiner is complaining about. I liked the story about the guy who makes knives. Breaking news? Okay, no, but that’s not the job of a My week-old trash stinks almost as bad as the WEEKLY paper. commissioners who voted for this stupid idea. Why couldn’t we keep twice weekly household pickup This has been killing me for months: There should and stretch the yard waste and recyclables pickup be an Oxford comma before the word “son” on to twice a month? We’d still be getting screwed, but the Whine Line submission page. For the love of with less flies and maggots. my 10th grade English teacher, who made it her mission to stamp out comma splices worldwide, Why do Augusta commissioners keep listening to please correct this. that guy from Lincoln County? Anyone who wears cammo and admires Ron Paul should not be taken I frequently check out library books (yes, some of seriously. us still do that) at the Evans branch, even though I live in Richmond County. I ALWAYS come upon pages The new garbage trucks use an automated arm in the books, that are folded over and creased. Let’s that only picks up containers on its passenger side. see...you can’t afford a bookmark in your wealthy, To work both sides of the street the truck has to snobbish county? How about using a scrap of paper? turn around and travel the street in the opposite You should be penalized for DEFACING books!!! direction. They are now driving twice the number
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down
A Brazilian soccer ref fatally stabs a player during an argument over a red card. The player’s family and fans stone the ref to death and dismember his body. No, seriously; that actually happened.
THUMBS
of miles as before so that costs us more for their service. In addition they are damaging our streets. Why did they not plan to have all the containers placed on the same side of the street like Beech Island and North Augusta does? Ive been to Psychotronic records, Ive listened to the radio show(both of which are great),and I have one question, where the hell is Michael Weldon’s personality? For a guy with such wonderful taste in music, he makes Ben Stein Sound like a firecracker on the fourth of July! He sounds like Rip Van Winkle talking in his sleep!!! Hey! Red Cross! I keep watching your TV Ads seeking Funds to bring Potable Drinking Water & Sewerage to All of these Foreign Countries! How about U.S.? The “Pumpkin Center Community” of Harlem, Georgia! I guess that our little Subdivision was an “Experiment of Sorts”! Yes! We Proved that Life Can Indeed Exist West of Belair Road and East of Thomson, Georgia! With the Ensuing Population Explosion, comes the Need for Potable Drinking Water! I mean, We’re Still on Well Water & Septic Tanks! Must we “Declare Our Independence from the USA”! Then, seek “Foreign Aid from the Red Cross”?!
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