Metro Spirit - 06.09.16

Table of Contents

EDIT

June 9, 2016

Amy Christian

Arts Editor/Production Director

Whine Line Ruffin It Augusta Tek Jenny is Wright Kris Fisher

amy@themetrospirit.com

Stacey Eidson Staff Writer

stacey@themetrospirit.com

Molly Swift Staff Writer

molly@themetrospirit.com

CREATIVE

4 6 7 8 9

Insider 10 News 14 Feature 18

Joshua Bailey Lead Designer

joshua@themetrospirit.com

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU

SALES Jim Christian Account Executive

jim@themetrospirit.com 706-414-4059

BUSINESS Joe White Publisher

joe@themetrospirit.com 706-373-3636

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY 18

What’s Up Calendar Nightlife Sightings NYT Crossword The Eight Austin Rhodes

23 26 32 34 35 36 38

Johnny Beckworth circulation manager

johnny@themetrospirit.com Contributors Jenny Wright, Greg Baker, Austin Rhodes, Josh Ruffin, Kris Fisher, Michael Johnson

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events.

In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit. com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard.

Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? Call or email Joe at 706.373.3636 joe@themetrospirit.com

THIS WEEK

Now that summer is in full swing and local kids from both sides of the Savannah River are out of school, there is one major disappointment still looming over the CSRA: the absence of the highly promoted Scuttle’s Island water park.

Pg. 10

Back in the 1920s, stores operated with the customer experience in mind.

The customers known to the employees and possibly related in some fashion.

This was the environment Friedman’s Jewelers was born into — neighbors serving neighbors.

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Tara Wood is known for a few things: a big heart, an even bigger family and a filthy, filthy mouth. But Tara also is a devout Catholic, which she doesn’t necessarily see as being at odds with her personality.

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OPINION

The Whine Line

smh, lmao, rotflmao, imo, lol, WTF?, bff,...what the hell is wrong with you people? Are you just too damn lazy to type? Excuse me, maybe I should have said: WTHIWWYP? AYJTDLTT? To the person who stated “Augusta’s not bad. But the best? You’re kidding yourself.” Name one other place that you would live if you had the chance and while you are doing that please keep in mind that you are apparently doing it while living in Augusta, GA because you can’t seem to leave even though there are better places to live.

Regarding Rick Allen supposedly condemning homosexuality with Bible verses during a GOP meeting in DC: didn’t some people get tired of the church bossing them around and get on a boat and found a new country with eventual separation of church and state? Yeah, that sounds kinda familiar... Where IS that place?

Ruffin It Augusta Tek Jenny is Wright Kris Fisher

A ninth grade education for the Columbia County fire marshall? He went 2 more years than most of the directors.

A part of town with high crime, barred and shuttered windows, won’t be attracting even mid grade retail.

Companies do factor in growth trends and direction of said growth. And South Augusta won’t ever be anything but Plan-E or F for any business locating to the area. Thomson and South McDuffie will be the next “Boomtown.” Spending money to have that confirmed is proof how ignorant South Augusta politicians and leaders are.

Deviant behaviors that were only tolerated in mental institution 20 years ago are now accepted in mainstream America. This liberal tolerance of sewer behavior is proof America does not need another Ronald Reagan. America needs the exorcist.

To the scumbag who left mattresses in my parking lot behind the construction dumpster. Rest assured that I will investtigate and prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law Rave to Ford. Thank goodness your breaks work so well.

If not I Would have been killed by the out of control fire truck (eng 8) at 7:45am May 31 at Surrey Center. You came screaming down the hill theough the red light at least 30 miles over the limit. Don’t kill a life trying to save a life.

I really miss the problems we had in the past... how to treat the budget surplus and worrying about the Prez’s sex life. Seems like the Clinton administration in the 90’s was the last time America was great.

Do remember Candace Payne and her “Chewbacca mom video” that went viral a couple of weeks ago? Thanks to that, Southeastern University in Lakeland, Florida offered to pay full tuition for her, her husband, and her two children to attend that institution. You see, that’s the new way to “make it” in America: 1.)Make idiotic video. 2.)Post video to any and all social media. 3.)Hope somnambulant, ignorant, automaton population makes said video go viral. 4.)Ca$h in on said videos popularity. Sadly, this is what America has become.

With 25% of the CSRA’s gay male population HIV positive, it’s apparent many people are carefree with their health, and could care less than zero about you! Not good odds kiddos. Stay safe my friends.

Honestly. Why should a grocery store, or any business, be required to remain in a location where the business is basically being plundered daily?

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Have something you want to get off your chest?

Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit.com. The Metro Spirit reserves the right to edit submitted whines for content, but we will otherwise print them pretty much exactly as you type them… spelling errors and all.

4 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Change I WROTE A WHILE BACK, as did many other bloggers and journalists looking for click bait or an easy assignment, about how, if the GOP held out any hope of maintaining, let alone expanding, their influence after the 2016 election, it was imperative that they regroup and evolve. No mere rebranding is going to suffice. Voters, for better or for worse, have come to distrust the hegemonic propaganda machines obviously engineered by marketing and analytics teams, hence their overwhelming support — at least as far as primary results go; the actual percentages are far more damning — for Donald Trump. I wrote this because it’s true and because I grew up in Georgia, and poking dead things with a stick is how we pass the time in between boiling peanuts and eating boiled peanuts.

But the past few weeks have made it abundantly clear that this message, this necessity, this come-to-Jesus moment is not exclusive to the Republican Party.

The political process is and, let’s be frank, has been dysfunctional at best and shattered at worst for a long time now; this extends to the Democrats. And it’s a little difficult for me to admit this, because the process in its existing form certainly benefits Hillary Clinton, who I’m supporting; she’s the perfect storm of experience, social progressiveness, Washington clique-navigator and giverof-no-f***s that this country so desperately needs. But it’s hard not to see that this business of super delegates and closed primaries does benefit her.

And no, Bernie Bros (aka Nerd Rage), I’m not suggesting for a second that, if the primary rules were any different, Sanders would win the nomination.

Writers with more patience for math, charts and graphs than me have run the numbers and concluded that, though the race might be closer, Sanders would still lose out on the nomination even if all the primaries were open.

Because, like it or not, the Democratic Machine is a very real, very 800-pound gorilla type of thing, just like the Republican Machine, and it’s used to getting its way, at least in the context of the party. That’s why the Nevada convention a couple of weeks ago was so important, despite the inexcusable nature of how it went down. It illustrated, plainly and painfully, that this is not an issue the Democratic Party can just wish away into non-existence. Though they’re teetering dangerously close to the same sort of entitlement complex that they’re so angry about in the first place, Sanders supporters are backing him in large part because they feel disenfranchised; and the more the Democratic

6 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Machine, who, again, are fully behind Clinton, simply try to bowl them over, the uglier it’s going to get.

I’ve been old enough to vote in three general elections and, every time, without fail, the underlying narrative of sweeping change, of reform, of precipitous doom colors the whole proceeding. It’s mostly BS, a way to galvanize support for this or that candidate, to paint him or her as the apostle of whatever doctrine. I’ve tried not to buy into it, but it seems more real this time — maybe I’m just paying more attention, but I don’t think that’s entirely it. A new generation of voters is materializing, I think, one that is only going to vote the party line if they have a say in what the party line actually is.

There’s some movement on this front from the Democrats, which is heartening. The Democratic National Committee rules allow the chair to pick all 15 committee members, but the DNC recently struck a deal that allows split assignments between Clinton, Sanders and Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

Essentially, this gives Sanders more control over the party platform, which is really the entire reason he’s still in the race, despite the official statements from his campaign. This is a good thing.

The situation looks, and is, chaotic right now. But those fearing an Armageddon for either party can take heart in the story of our universe. Scientific American recently published findings positing that, in order for our solar system to end up in its current state, there were several million years of pure, unadulterated violence and chaos. As the things that would become planets settle into orbit, other planets were destroyed, matter was flung across billions of miles and the laws of gravity threw out a grappling hook that, over the course of several eons, gradually settled things into a rhythm.

It’s all going to be fine. Just know that, for now, it will keep sucking.

JOSH RUFFIN is a long way from home, having moved from Augusta to Middleton, Wisconsin,

with his wife, Michelle. He is a self-described beer guru, so most of his Twitter posts are about what he’s drinking. While drinking, he enjoys writing poetry and watching MMA fights… or writing poetry about MMA fights.

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For Profit

CURRENTLY IN AMERICA, it is very fashionable to speak negatively of the private sector. The conventional wisdom proclaims that all corporations are rooted in greed and are run by selfish individuals.

Private sector opponents argue that profits are evil and penalize hard-working Americans. These individuals also state that no matter the form, capitalism ultimately ends in discrimination and unfairness.

If you subscribe to these views, you should probably stop reading right now. In all likelihood, I’m going to say something might make you uncomfortable, or possibly even cause you emotional distress.

(Pause before continuing… 3… 2… 1…)

Still reading? Well, okay. You’ve been warned.

While in graduate school, I took a course that covered (as part of its objectives) the different facets of growing the space industry. Launch vehicle design, satellite communications and, yes, even missions to Mars were all considered crucial to a sustainable space program.

While we discussed a number of options, they all had one glaring similarity — every approach depended on significant government funding, either through the military or NASA. The professor asked us to put together a presentation on how we would structure a sustainable space program. By and large, each class member dutifully regurgitated the party line. When my turn came, like an idiot, I said what I actually believed. I forget the exact words, but it went something like this… <<indent>>The key to creating a sustainable space program is to drive down the cost of space flight. Since government-funded enterprises possess no inherent mechanism to reduce costs, a sustainable space program must develop organically in the private sector. Only the private sector contains the negative cost drivers needed to make space flight affordable for all.<<indent>> Needless to say, my talk suffered the same fate as the comet Shoemaker-Levy — torn apart and swallowed by a massive gravitational force. As I drowned my sorrows at the Posse later that evening, I couldn’t get 7 of 9’s voice out of my head, “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

Never one to believe that I could be wrong, I’ve watched the growth of the private space industry with keen interest. As the shuttle program was winding down, entrepreneurs (funded by Silicon Valley profits) began exploring the opportunities created as NASA pulled back. Scaled Composites and SpaceX are perhaps the most successful of those efforts, each successfully developing launch vehicle technology as part of a for-profit enterprise.

The Google Lunar X Prize was created in 2007 specifically for the purpose of inspiring private investment in space technology. The competition offers $20 million to the first privately funded team to land a robot on the Moon that successfully travels 500 meters and transmits back high-definition images and video. Of the 31 original participants, 16 remain in the competition, and two have secured a launch contract for next year.

Moon Express is one of those teams scheduled to launch next year. Given all the technical complexity involved with sending a robot to the moon, this past week Moon Express perhaps overcame one of its most difficult challenges. The FAA appears ready to provide regulatory approval for the world’s first private space mission to go beyond Earth’s orbit.

(If you thought the regulations for drones were bad, I can’t even imagine the amount of red tape involved with a Moon mission.)

Moon Express is scheduled to launch in the second half of 2017. If successful, this mission will provide another example of what private enterprise can and will accomplish. It’s still too early to say that private investment will save the space industry, but at least it’s a nudge in the right direction. @gregory_a_baker

GREGORY BAKER PH.D.

is vice president of CMA Technology and, yes, is actually a rocket scientist who used his doctorate in aerospace engineering at Lockheed Martin.

In addition to working at CMA, he also serves the community, sitting on several boards in the area.

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15 in 5 Because I love a list. Especially a random list.

1. I just read the most disturbing Facebook post. A woman, with two children, just posted that she basically doesn’t drink so she doesn’t get raped. That might be the most messed up thing I’ve ever read, and I haven’t been raped. Can you imagine, as a victim of rape, seeing that and thinking, “Gosh, is it really my fault because I had two glasses of wine?”

2. It is never the victim’s fault. Nope, there aren’t any exceptions. I don’t care how drunk the victim is or what he or she was wearing. The fault lies with the power hungry rapist who violated another human. That’s it. If you argue that, you are part of the problem.

3. Sure, I want both of my children to respect themselves, be aware of their surroundings and know how to protect themselves. I also want them to respect other humans enough to not ever, ever, violate another in any way.

4. In the past month, I’ve become an aunt again. And again. A new niece was born on Friday, May 13. Nephew arrived on 6/1/16. Both have cool birthdays.

5. My kids hadn’t ever visited a baby in the hospital. They’d only ever seen the glass-enclosed nursery in movies. We visited my nephew, but they wanted to see what happened in the nursery. Thanks to the family who shared the details of your hours-old baby with us.

6. As I walked away, I thanked that family for sharing their moment with us. After turning my back, I heard one of them say, “momo?” Nope. Moment. Thanks for sharing your special moment.

7. Speaking of special moments, my favorite awards show of the year is Sunday night (June 12). The Tony Awards! If musical theatre isn’t your thing, I understand, but you might be surprised. Besides, James Corden is hosting this year.

8. I think I’m the only person on the planet not pulling for “Hamilton, The Musical” to sweep the 16 categories for which it’s been nominated. I don’t like Hamilton. There, I said it. I feel a little better admitting it, because I’ve been holding it in, but I know I’m in the minority. I’ve tried this song and that song and I can’t get hooked. I’m not all that picky about musical theatre, either. I’ll take any and all suggestions. I’ll try again, if you show me how.

9. Speaking of trying again, turning 39 did something to my palate, and I suddenly

enjoy olives. I’ve hated them my whole life. I recently tried tapenade and was shocked to discover that it was delicious. I’ve tried these and those for years to no avail. For some reason, the purple ones (are they purple?) are less offensive these days.

10. For the first time, I didn’t ask them to hold the olives on my Lil Greek at Mellow Mushroom. I surprised myself. I didn’t eat them all, but I didn’t gag. I liked them.

11. This may not seem like a big deal, but I’ve always wanted to like olives. They seem very sophisticated. People who eat olives seem to have a lot of fun. Does this mean I’m about to have more fun?

12. What’re you up to this summer? Does summer consist of weeks at the beach?

Sending your kids to camp all summer? Finding activities for bored kids? So far, my kids aren’t bored. We’ve enjoyed doing nothing.

13. Mine went to camp last summer and loved it. Because our spring was so busy, we haven’t pulled the trigger on deciding whether or not to go back. They’d only go for a week. I have a friend who used to go away for the whole summer, and I can’t imagine that. You only know what you know, and I know I like having my kids around while they still wanna be.

14. Same goes for boarding school. Several mom friends’ kids go to really cool boarding schools with top-notch academics. The culture is appealing. The price tag is not. If my kids wanted to go, I’d entertain it, but I’m not so sure I could let them leave for good.

15. That’s not to say anyone is wrong for sending their kids away to camp for the summer or to school for the year. We all do what we’ve gotta do and what’s right for our situation. No judging. Support and understanding go a long way. So does a shared bottle of wine. Maybe someday it’ll be a dirty martini JENNY WRIGHT’S humorous observations on marriage, motherhood and living in Augusta with extra olives. have earned her a devoted following, both in print and on Facebook. When she’s not spying on other parents in the carpool line at school, you’ll probably find her with either a camera, tennis racquet or wine glass in her hand.

LI V E M USI C | FR I D AY NI GHTS

2 651 Pe rimet er Parkway Augusta | 706 . 8 5 5 . 8 100 8 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

9JUNE2016

It Could Happen to You Last week, the internet was taken by storm by a story about a gorilla, Harambe, being killed because a toddler fell into its exhibit at the Cincinnati Zoo. As most people do, you have most likely formed your own opinion about the situation and how it should have been handled. My initial reaction was like many that I saw online: The parents are at fault! How can you possibly not be paying attention so much that you child crawls into an animal enclosure?! As it turns out, it’s not all that difficult. The thing that changed my mind was an appearance I was doing for my radio station. We were at a pizza place in Aiken, registering listeners for Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas tickets.

A couple came in with their son who looked to be four or barely five years old. He grabbed a brownie sample as the mom jokingly asked the dad, “Why are you not filling out a registration form?” She turned around to order pizza and the dad started filling out the form. After taking, I don’t know, 45 seconds to a minute to order the pizza she turned around. Her next question wasn’t so jokingly, “Uhh, can you watch him?! He’s out the front door!”

Yes, that quickly the kid wandered off and out the door without his mom, dad me or my promotions guy noticing. Does that make them bad parents? No. In fact, we didn’t even notice that the door even open. This situation has made me think of the times my kids have wandered off from me. It’s happened on several occasions. Lucky for me they only wandered to the window at the other side of the mall walkway, or a different grocery store aisle and I am obsessed about where my kids are at all times.

It’s happened to most parents. If you’re a parent and it hasn’t happened to you, I’m very happy for you. The feeling of panic and, “Oh my God my life is over” hits you right in the throat and sinks lower and lower into your chest until you find your child. Now, imagine finding your child not at the toy department in Target, but being dragged through the water by a 400-pound gorilla. You’re damn right I’d want them to take him out. Hell, I know people that would want him taken out if he had their cat. Some kids wander a couple of feet away to pick up a toy, some kids wander out the front door of a pizza restaurant and then some kids are a little more extreme. I mean, look at little Mikey in “Look Who’s Talking.” He wandered off, climbed into a car, got towed across several New York City blocks, walked down the middle of a busy New York street and caused a multi-car pile up!

And don’t even get me started on Baby Bink from “Baby’s Day Out!” No one ever said that their parents should be charged with criminal negligence. Monday we found out that the parents in Cincinnati were cleared of any criminal charges stemming from the incident, as they should be. Witnesses say that they saw the boy slip away as the mother was caring for one of her other three children. Harambe’s death was a tragedy.

I’m sure the parents aren’t celebrating the fact that a gorilla had to die. But I’m positive that they are thankful for the sacrifice that was made that day. Harambe may not have harmed that boy. But then again, maybe he would have. You don’t have to like the fact that he was killed to understand why he was killed.

kRIs FIsHeR,Kris Fisher is the midday host and program director for HD98.3 and an Augusta radio staple.

He is a husband, father of three and lover of all things adventurous, as well as activities most people would have outgrown years ago. djkfish.com.

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NewS

The Road to Recovery

Neighbors Serving Neighbors

Insider

A Long, Hot, Dry Summer for North Augusta Now tHAt Summer is in full swing and local kids from both sides of the Savannah River are out of school, there is one major disappointment still looming over the CSRA: the absence of the highly promoted Scuttle’s Island water park.

Just last fall, former Scuttle’s Island developer Benjamin Bell, alongside Andrew Thompson of the local investment group Cedar Rock Holdings LLC, announced plans to build a new 40acre water park in North Augusta by Memorial Day weekend of this year.

The $21.5 million water park would be home to the “tallest water slide in the Southeast,” Bell boasted.

The city of North Augusta immediately bought into the excitement of it all.

“This will be something that families from across the Southeast will be able to enjoy for generations to come,” North Augusta Mayor Lark Jones said following the water park announcement in September.

Bell and Thompson pledged they would build the project off Interstate 20, at exit 5 in North Augusta, so the entire region could have easy access to enjoy the water park.

However, as weeks quickly turned into months following Bell’s initial announcement in North Augusta, the public soon realized something was wrong.

There was absolutely no physical movement on the project, which was originally scheduled to open by May of this year.

Finally, in March, local citizens got some answers.

Thompson, speaking on behalf of Cedar Rock Holdings LLC, announced that the opening date for the water park had been pushed back until at least June.

But that wasn’t all the news.

Thompson also announced that Cedar Rock Holdings had severed all of its ties with Bell. And, not just with Scuttle’s Island project, but also with the Lights of the South attraction in Grovetown.

Cedar Rock Holdings reportedly owns both businesses now and Bell is totally out of the picture.

Now, with Bell off the project, the big question still remained: Will North Augusta ever see the construction and opening of Scuttle’s Island?

Thompson still insists it will happen, but obviously not by this month.

Especially considering the property in North Augusta off I-20 that was intended for the water park has been reportedly sold.

But Thompson is continuing to make big promises of a water park for this region.

“We have all intentions to continue the development of the Scuttle’s Island project and do not foresee this barring any plans to move forward on the site,” Thompson told The Augusta Chronicle in a May 19 statement.

Really?

If you believe that, there is a beautiful, very secluded resort community in the heart of Augusta called Hyde Park that the Insider would like to sell you for about $250 million.

So where is the water park going to be located now?

Will it still be in North Augusta off I-20?

Even North Augusta City Manager Todd Glover seems somewhat skeptical these days.

Just last month, Glover told the news media, “I just can’t imagine they could be under construction and open by even September. I think the best-case scenario is 2017.”

This is the same administrator who late last year truly believed that Scuttle’s Island water park was in North Augusta’s near future.

“At this point, I can say the water park is going to happen,” Glover told the Metro Spirit in November. “It is just a question of when.”

Well, we’ll see about that.

If the plans for Scuttle’s Island don’t pan out in North Augusta, maybe the developers can try to pitch the multi-million-dollar water park to another community.

Let’s see... so, the water park was first proposed in Columbia County back in 2014 and residents there have already had their hopes dashed by the developers.

How about proposing the water park in the city of Augusta?

Why not?

Folks in Augusta are kind of used to a little disappointment.

For example, the Garden City lost the Augusta GreenJackets’ new ballpark to North Augusta. What’s another failed project?

Or how about Burke County?

The “Bird Dog Capital of the World” could use a little more to brag about than just the expansion of Plant Vogtle.

Those folks need something new to talk about other than plume exposure pathway zone and radioactive contamination.

A non-existent water park might be nice.

Or perhaps the developer of the proposed Scuttle’s Island just need to stop jerking this entire community around and just move on.

After all, there is nothing to see here.

Literally.

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Marshall Square Fire: Is the County to Blame?

SoMe ColuMBIa County reSIdentS were in shock after reading last week’s cover story in the Metro Spirit about the one-year anniversary of the Marshall Square fire.

Specifically, many readers couldn’t believe the complete and total confusion by Columbia County Fire Marshal Brian Clark during his deposition.

As soon as his testimony began, there were early signs of trouble.

John Price, an attorney for Marshall Square, began by asking Clark one simple question about his past education.

“Mr. Clark, how far did you go in school?” Price asked.

What was Clark’s response?

“Ninth grade,” he said.

So, the fire marshal who oversees all of the fire code inspections throughout Columbia County has a ninthgrade education?

Now, he does have a GED and job-specific certification and training, but does anyone else see a problem with that picture?

It’s definitely a concern, especially considering the attorneys for Marshall Square are trying to lay the blame of the June 2, 2015, fire on the county.

To be honest, after the words “ninth grade” came out of Clark’s mouth, Price probably could have simply announced, “No further questions.”

But the grueling deposition of Clark was far from over.

The deposition also revealed that, in order to become a fire marshal for Columbia County, you actually aren’t required to have any firefighter training at all.

Prior to joining the fire marshal’s office, Clark was a car salesman, worked in insulation and was eventually a jailer and deputy for the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office.

In fact, in Columbia County, the fire marshal’s office is not even a part of the fire department.

Pretty wild, eh?

Now, there is no doubt that the role of a fire marshal’s office differs from state to state and even from county to county.

For example, the Augusta Fire Department just recently appointed Capt. John Caran as the chief inspector and fire marshal in Richmond County to replace former Fire Marshal Jason Beard, who was sentenced this past week on federal bribery charges.

Caran brings more than 25 years of experience to the office including past positions as a firefighter, a fire investigator, a plan reviewer and a member of the hazardous materials team and the Fire Prevention Bureau.

But everywhere is different when it comes to a fire marshal.

For instance, in New York City, the fire marshal’s office is assigned to review more than 4,000 fires a year within the five city boroughs. It is a division of the Fire Department City of New York (FDNY) and employs more than 100 fire marshals and 40 supervising fire marshals.

In Pennsylvania, the local fire marshals are selected for their positions by the local fire chief, but the State Fire Marshal’s Office is actually a division under the Pennsylvania State Police.

But the fact that Clark doesn’t have any specific training dealing with fire response and he seemed confused about the specifics in the building code as it relates to fire safety plans will definitely help the case for the attorneys representing Resort Lifestyle Communities, the owners of Marshall Square.

9JUNE2016

During his deposition, Clark went back and forth as to whether the fire code required Marshall Square to have a fire safety plan and an evacuation plan.

At first, Clark believed Marshall Square did not have to meet such requirements.

But then Clark began questioning that decision in the beginning of 2015 after Dr. Paul Bilodeau, whose mother lived at Marshall Square, contacted the fire department with concerns about the retirement community’s alleged shelter-in-place policy.

“I did a little more research, and when I saw that R-2 (apartments) in the fire code stated it had to have all those procedures, I told (the Marshall Square staff) that it was required,” Clark testified. “And it was later — I don’t remember the exact time — that I realized that the R-2 was only specific for colleges and dormitories.”

So, Price asked Clark to be as specific as possible regarding his thoughts on a fire safety plan.

“So it’s your opinion today that Marshall Square was not required to have a fire safety plan or an evacuation plan?” Price asked.

“Correct,” Clark said.

“And that’s based on your understanding of the fire code,” Price said.

“Yes,” Clark responded, adding that he did not believe Marshall Square violated any provisions of the fire code.

But less than an hour later, Clark was again confused about the fire code requirements during his deposition.

This time, attorney Harry Revell, who is representing former residents of Marshall Square, questioned Clark.

During the deposition, Revell reviewed the code as it applies to R-2 apartments and read a section that stated such a complex must “include an emergency evacuation plan for each dwelling unit.”

“And if that applies, you would agree with me that (Marshall Square) was, in fact, required to have a fire evacuation plan in place to comply with this code section?” Revell asked.

“Yes, sir,” Clark said.

Man, talk about doing a complete 180.

So, on the very same day that Clark is providing important testimony in a court case, he changes his opinion, again?

The Insider realizes that anyone can get a little rattled while being questioned by attorneys, but Clark’s testimony made Columbia County’s government look like it was led by a bunch of backwards country bumpkins.

It was like reading an old script from everybody’s favorite comedy and country music show, “Hee-Haw.” Junior Samples: “Say, Gordie. Was your marriage one of them trial and error thangs?”

Gordie Tapp: “Naw... first was the error, then the trial.”

That’s right, folks.

And phht! You were gone.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 11

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The “Religious Liberty” Feud Comes to Augusta FoR A bRieF momenT, a group gathered in the city of Augusta got a lot of attention this past week.

But it’s probably not for what you think.

For once, it has nothing to do with golf or the Godfather of Soul.

Everyone will probably remember this past April when Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal made the controversial move to veto the “religious liberty” bill.

Now, there were a lot of supporters and opponents of that bill throughout the state.

But basically the proposed legislation, called HB 757, would allow faith-based organizations to deny services to those who violate their “sincerely held religious belief” and preserve an employer’s right to fire employees who weren’t on the same page as those beliefs.

Needless to say, the bill was heavily criticized by gay rights groups in Georgia and many business leaders who were concerned the legislation would hurt the state’s economy.

And the business leaders weren’t wrong.

Earlier this year, the governor’s office was bombarded by dozens of big-name companies, including Disney, Apple, Time Warner, Intel and Salesforce, insisting the governor veto the bill.

In fact, the NFL warned the bill could risk Atlanta’s bid for the Super Bowl and the NCAA suggested it could influence Georgia’s ability to host championship games.

With so much pressure coming down on the state, Deal decided that the religious liberty bill did not reflect Georgia’s welcoming image as a state full of “warm, friendly and loving people,” according to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

“Our people work side by side without regard to the color of our skin, or the religion we adhere to. We are working to make life better for our families and our communities. That is the character of Georgia. I intend to do my part to keep it that way,” Deal reportedly said. “For that reason, I will veto HB 757.”

Many Georgia Republicans have been fuming ever since.

Some even purposed a resolution to censure the governor.

So, several Republican groups were ready to fully express their disappointment to the governor’s face at the GOP convention this past weekend in Augusta.

But guess what?

12 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Deal wasn’t there.

According to the governor’s office, Deal was hosting elite high school students at the governor’s mansion this weekend and couldn’t attending the GOP convention.

“Unfortunately, the state GOP convention and the annual Valedictorian Day fell on the same weekend this year,” the governor’s office stated to the AJC in a press release. “The governor and Mrs. Deal are hosting Valedictorian Day. (They) have hosted this event at the Governor’s Mansion since he took office, and it’s a very special tradition.

This year, we expect more than 1,200 students and families to attend over the course of the weekend. Gov. (Zell) Miller began this tradition in 1993.”

So, no Deal in Augusta.

But, while there were several Republican groups prepared to pounce on Deal for vetoing the religious liberty bill, guess which herd of elephants praised the governor for his decision?

The Georgia Republicans for the Future made its voice known during the GOP convention.

The group hung a large banner stating, “Thank you, Governor Deal” to greet participants at this past weekend’s convention in the Garden City.

“There are many delegates in

attendance that agree with the courageous leadership of Governor Deal,” Allen Fox, director of the Georgia Republicans for the Future told the AJC. “But there are thousands more that are not in attendance who support his leadership. We agree with him that Georgia is a welcoming, loving and inclusive place. That sentiment, along with Governor Deal’s conservative leadership, has made Georgia the best place in the nation to do business.”

Of course, this isn’t your typical Republican group, per se, in the Peach State.

The Georgia Republicans for the Future say the group is all about expanding opportunity and reaffirming individual liberty, which they believe are founding principles of the Republican Party.

But, at the forefront, the group believes discrimination of any kind is wrong, and it is bad for a growing Republican Party competing for the future.

The group believes LGBT Georgians are “our friends, neighbors, family, coworkers and fellow Republicans.”

Its website specifically states that when it comes to being able to earn a living or be served by a business the LGBT community should be treated like everyone else and not be discriminated against.

Obviously, some fellow Republicans in Georgia were not thrilled with the Georgia Republicans for the Future’s banner.

Specifically, State Sen. Josh McKoon, a Republican from Columbus, Ga., was offended by the banner, according to the AJC article.

“Here early for this weekend’s Georgia Republican Convention. Allen Fox and ‘Georgia Republicans For the Future’ (the shadowy group whose donors are secret) have hung a banner thanking Governor Deal for killing the religious freedom legislation passed overwhelmingly by the Georgia General Assembly earlier this year,” McKoon wrote on his Facebook page.

“What a slap in the face to grassroots Republican leaders!”

So what was Allen Fox’s response?

“Worth every penny,” Fox said, according to the AJC. Well done, Mr. Fox. Well done.

9JUNE2016

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6/7/16 4:23 PM

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Neighbors Serving Neighbors

By Molly Swift Photos by Joshua Bailey

FriedmaN’S JewelerS aNd SoutheaSterN armory is located in a new building at the corner of Alexander Drive and Washington Road. The light stone façade and contemporary style building stands out among the new developments.

However, once through the door, the space opens up into a light and spacious foyer that branches off into a couple of other large rooms. Elegant but simple, warm and inviting, Friedman’s Jewelry and the Southeastern Armory is less intimidating and more enticing.

Back in the 1920s, when excessive consumerism was unheard of among the general populace, stores operated with the customer experience in mind.

The customers were likely neighbors, known to the employees and possibly related in some fashion. This was the environment Friedman’s Jewelers was born into — neighbors serving neighbors.

Fast forward almost a century, and retail tends to veer off wildly in another direction — get the customer in, get them to buy, get them out. Faceless, impersonal and a bit of a turn off.

Augusta isn’t like that. Or, put another way, Augustans aren’t like that. We enjoy the right kind of attention; eye contact, reassurance, a little conversation and familiarity are all valued components of Augusta’s locally grown businesses. We’re also fans of the unique — whether that be a shop dedicated to nuts, or a well-known jewelry store synonymous with a green 14 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

box. Which is why the multifaceted Friedman’s and Southeastern Armory has already carved out its niche. There is nothing else like it in Augusta — or in Georgia. Or, indeed, anywhere else in the United States.

As Friedman’s Jewelers aged and developed beyond Augusta, the hometown store became known for its expertise and customer service.

The business model was a huge success, and the Friedman family grew their brand to 125 strong by the time a competitor bought it in the l990s. When the brand came available for purchase, Donnie Thompson of Windsor Jewelers saw it as an opportunity to reclaim an Augusta tradition and Friedman’s reopened five years ago. However, things are not as they used to be.

“This is not your daddy’s Friedman’s,” said Manager Rick Wortley. “This is much, much more.”

Wortley has been with the current incarnation of Friedman’s for six weeks, and yet he’s been with the Friedman’s brand for decades. In fact, he is one of several current Friedman’s staff members who were employed by Friedman’s of years past.

After 42 years in the jewelry business, Wortley has been inspired to relocate from Savannah to Augusta in order to see Donnie Thompson’s vision come to fruition. His enthusiasm for what Friedman’s and the Armory is providing to the area is fueled by an appreciation for the multiple services

the store provides — especially with its recent acquisition of United Loans and Firearms, another locally-owned, family-run business that was also rooted in customer-centric service.

In Windsor Jewelers, Donnie Thompson has already built one of the top five jewelry stores in the United States, but now he is focused on resurrecting Friedman’s because it, like him, was born and raised in Augusta.

“It’s an Augusta tradition. Donnie started out at Friedman’s, too,” explained Wortley. “Give us an opportunity to amaze you; we provide the same great service and the same amazing products as the old store, but now we are able to offer you other items and services as well. And, you’ll find the same attention to detail, kindness and quality throughout the entire store.”

As a customer, you have a choice of no fewer than four destinations within the store. In a single location, Friedman’s offers gold and firearms purchase and pawn, estate and unique jewelry, sterling silver pieces and accessories, collectables, new jewelry, precious stones and an armory with a vast inventory of firearms, utility knives, protective eyewear and much more.

The history of Friedman’s and its reputation for employing reliable, knowledgeable and friendly people seems to be ever-present. The genuine passion for creating an enjoyable experience and long-term relationships with its customers is palpable — you can see it in the smiles of everyone in the building and how

comfortable they are with one another.

These people enjoy what they do for the community and they respect everybody, especially their customers — a standard set by Mr. Friedman himself.

The familiar face of the new pawning service is Connie Wisnieski who, with her brother, ran United Loans and Firearms for more than 40 years. The move brought loyal customers to the new location, and opened another avenue of services — the ability to pawn quality gold and firearms, but with the customer in mind.

“We make short-term collateral loans. We hold the merchandise and it gets our customers through a shortterm situation in which they need money, but don’t want to get a hit on their credit or bother with a bank loan.”

The pawn store is limited to gold jewelry and guns, but as Wisnieski points out she is concerned more about helping the customer than the collateral.

“We do save relationships. Money can cause conflict and we remove that conflict. But, I’ve been doing this for 40 years — we’re providing a service that is helping people.”

Wisnieski has had to transition to the new store, but she credits the staff of Friedman’s with relaxing into her new location. “It’s a family here — we get to know our customers, we work well together, and the environment is so welcoming. I have people who tell me they won’t go anywhere else. We take care of them.”

Another member of the family, Brenda Shannon, also got the call to rejoin Friedman’s when the new store

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opened. Brenda began her jewelry sales career at the Regency Mall location in the 1980s where Donnie Thompson was one of her managers, and attributes her success to working in a culture that encourages getting to know the customers’ needs, expectations and limits.

“When I heard what Donnie wanted to do I knew it was something I wanted to be part of — especially since people in Augusta know and trust the Friedman’s name — and I love it here.

I love the fact working here has been like coming home.”

Two large showcase spaces are entirely devoted to jewelry — both new and estate — and the displays are designed to reflect the wide variety of pieces carried by Friedman’s. The range of pieces provides Brenda with an edge; her customers know she will find them exactly what they are looking for and at the price they are comfortable with, regardless of the occasion.

“We have a lot of guys coming in,” Shannon said, “We have more to offer men, such as watches and money clips, than any other specialty store in the area. Plus, there’s always the Armory in the back. But, Friedman’s is more than just a jewelry store — I think Donnie knows exactly what he’s doing.”

“We have a little bit of everything here — all of our products, the firearms and gift selection — and it’s a joy to work here,” Shannon explained. “And we’ve all been with Friedman’s for a long time, we know our customers and we know our products, so we can answer any questions that need answering.”

9JUNE2016

Treating the workplace as an extension of home is a theme that other members of the Friedman’s team echo almost verbatim. Brenda’s coworker, Cherie Foster, was also asked to return after many years away from the store. She too feels the employees offer a better experience for the customer because the staff loves working together.

“The Friedman’s experience of the past was very different from the corporate world — it was locally owned and everybody who came into

the store (in the past) was either friend or family. When Mr. and Mrs. Friedman came into the store they knew you by name, and at Christmas they would bring in fruit baskets for all of their employees. You really got that personal touch, and that’s missing so much in today’s corporate world.”

“I bring more than 30 years of experience in jewelry, and his father, who I lovingly called Mr. T., was my boss for years,” said Foster reflecting on her return. “I was the credit manager to start with, and Mr. T was a great man, and I loved working with him and for him. Being able to go back to my roots just felt like coming back home.”

Foster says the new version of Friedman’s is so customer-focused that everything in the store — from the product to the way the customer is treated — revolves around them.

“It’s the best of both worlds,” she said, “The customer is getting the best possible service, and the best possible value and walking away with exactly what they wanted.”

Buying gifts for the men in our lives can sometimes be a challenge, but Friedman’s Jewelry and Southeastern Armory prides itself in its wide-ranging inventory and ample gift selection. In the jewelry departments, among the

many rings, necklaces, and bracelets is an impressive selection of vintage wrist watches and pocket watches, birthstones, tie tacks and cuff links.

The prices are equally varied, ranging from as little as $10 into the thousands.

Pieces may be altered by the in-house jeweler, and re-sizing rings is free with your purchase.

Moving past the jewelry, Friedman’s and Southeastern Armory also offers one of the largest collection of firearms, utility knives and accessories in the United States. Brett Busbee oversees the department and stresses the knowledge and experience of his team, but he says they are primarily focused on responsibly serving whoever walks through the door.

“We like to say that when they come to Friedman’s and the Southeastern Armory that we can get them in and out of trouble all in the same trip,” Busbee joked. “If you want us to handle a shotgun wedding we can handle it all right here.”

The Armory is pretty much a sportsman’s paradise — collector knives, utility knives, thousands of hard-to-find firearms and an immense private collection of WWII German Lugars to top it off.

“It is a place for sportsmen and enthusiasts, but we know that

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sometimes what we sell might cause a few problems at home. And it’s not always the case that the guys are the ones buying the firearm. Some men like the jewelry, and some ladies like the firearms,” Busbee said. “But it definitely helps if you step out of here with something from the front after you purchase something from the back.”

The back is well-stocked, but ultimately safe and secure. Safety, of course, is paramount when it comes to buying guns. The store works closely with a handful of instructors, and enjoys close relationships with local law enforcement.

“Safety is our No. 1 thing. We have a well-educated and knowledgeable team — more than 30 years of experience between us — and we do not have a box store mentality,” Busbee explained. “We have specialists here; it’s not just work or a hobby, but something we are passionate about. We ask questions these big stores don’t always know to ask, or simply won’t ask.”

Carrying a firearm for protection is a topic that Busbee says is always a discussion he welcomes having with his customers. “We have one of the largest product selection in the area, from entrylevel to top-shelf, tier one items, but we want our customers to understand their responsibility and provide them with the education they need to be responsible gun owners.”

Although they don’t manufacture the pieces, the Armory offers assembly and sighting in-house, as well as advising customers on care of firearms and the best possible accessories for their weapon.

Busbee believes his customers are the mostinformed customers in the CSRA, thanks to the attentive and courteous staff. Being able to develop these relationships also allows the staff to identify 16 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

potential problems, or what Busbee calls “red flag situations” that may stop the sale of a weapon to a person not best suited for gun ownership.

“There are red flags, and we need to pay attention to the signals. It is part of our job to pick up on body language. While we are selling an inanimate object that cannot do anything by itself, we don’t want anyone buying from us with the intention of causing violence or harm. I’ve seen a lot of folks who shouldn’t even own a slingshot.”

In keeping with the rest of the store, the Armory also offers gifts and special items including collectable models, flasks, canes, pens, cleaning

supplies, targets, food rations and more. It is an impressive selection, but the interchange between customers and staff at Friedman’s and Southeastern Armory makes the experience enjoyable.

“I’m not saying we’re running a local pub, but we do have regulars and we see some people return when we get a special item in,” Busbee explained. “There is a diversity among us and we are always seeing people from all walks of life, which is a huge learning experience. We learn as much from our customer base as we do from operating as professionals in the store.”

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The Road to Recovery Graduating from the Accountability Court of Richmond County is no small accomplishment

A FEW HUNDRED PEOPLE stood outside First Presbyterian Church on Telfair Street just before 9 a.m. one Friday morning last month, patiently waiting for the doors to St. Andrew’s Hall to open.

Some were dressed in their Sunday best, smiling and laughing as friends and relatives warmly greeted them with a huge embrace.

Others were milling around the entrance, staring down at the ground, glancing at their watches and clearly hoping not to be noticed.

There was absolutely no doubt as to who were the participants in this unique graduation program and which individuals were simply required to attend the ceremony.

“How are you doing, man?” one gentlemen asked another waiting outside the church’s doors.

“Not great,” the other man replied. “After attending this, I get to go tell my boss I’ll be missing work tomorrow because I have to report to jail for the next 24 hours.”

“No way,” the first man said, sort of chuckling and patting the man on the back. “Keep your head up, man. We’ve all been there.”

Welcome to the Accountability Court of Richmond County’s graduation ceremony for its drug and DUI programs.

As the doors opened, Richmond County State Court Judge David Watkins warmly greeted each person attending the graduation.

18 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

By Stacey Eidson

The hall was quickly filled with a diverse audience of men and women from all walks of life.

In fact, there were a lot of faces in the audience that many Augustans would recognize, proving that alcoholism and addiction are clearly equal opportunity diseases.

These addictions can be found in every neighborhood, on every block and in every profession throughout Augusta.

But this was a day to celebrate those who have graduated from the DUI program, which is designed to treat people with a second or subsequent DUI offense.

“One graduate told me, ‘I’m so glad to be getting rid of you,’” Watkins joked, as he stood before the audience and welcomed everyone to the graduation ceremony. “I told him, ‘I’m glad you are getting rid of me, too.’ That’s why we are here today.”

During the DUI program, which takes a minimum of 12 months and a maximum of 24 months to complete, participants are not only required to attend counseling and join Alcoholics Anonymous or another approved support group, but they must submit to random alcohol and drug screenings, complete state required classes for license reinstatement and attend a court session twice a month.

Upon successful completion of the program, participants still must stand before a judge and he or she will consider waiving jail time, community service and fines.

Basically, the Accountability Court’s goal is to confront the substance abuse issues of 9JUNE2016

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“One graduate told me, ‘I’m so glad to be getting rid of you.’ I told him, ‘I’m glad you are getting rid of me, too.’ That’s why we are here today.”

— Judge David Watkins repetitive offenders throughout Richmond County.

“These graduates who are coming up here today have earned it,” Watkins said, as the program began. “As you all know, I don’t give away anything. I just don’t. Some folks call me hard. Some folks call me ruthless. I’m probably a little bit of both. But if you make it to today and you make it up on this stage, it’s because you have earned it.”

Since the Accountability Court of Richmond County began in March of 2012, there have been a total of 882 people officially enrolled in the DUI, drug and/or veterans court programs, according to Crystal Page, the coordinator of Accountability Court of Richmond County.

“Of the 882 — approximately 210 individuals were terminated or voluntarily withdrew before successfully completing the program,” she said. “We have had a total of 356 individuals graduate, which includes the DUI, drug and veterans court programs.”

9JUNE2016

Back in 2012, the state Legislature created the Georgia Accountability Court Program, one of several criminal justice reform initiatives established to provide serious alternatives to sentencing for nonviolent offenders and reduce the state’s growing prison population.

Beginning in fiscal year 2013, Gov. Nathan Deal and the Georgia General Assembly agreed to appropriate $11.6 million annually to support the implementation and expansion of accountability courts.

The program proved to be successful enough that the governor increased the appropriation to $15.3 million in 2015.

The state’s most recent statistics show that the number of people served by these accountability courts have more than doubled in the past three years.

In 2014, there were more than 8,000 people enrolled in these courts, with about another 3,500 joining the programs last year.

While many graduates of these programs say it is one of the hardest things they’ve ever had to face, these accountability courts are much more about teaching people how to become productive, law-abiding citizens than punishing the individuals.

During the experimental stage of these accountability courts prior to the programs being fully embraced by the governor’s office, a 2010 state audit found that just 7 percent of drug court graduates were arrested within two years of finishing the program, compared with a 29 percent recidivism rate for drug abusers who had been sentenced to state prison, according to a 2015 report by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Those kinds of numbers don’t lie, Watkins said.

“From what I can gather, a drug court is deemed successful if it can stay below 10 percent recidivism,” Watkins said, explaining the entire purpose of these courts is to prevents these individuals from relapsing into criminal behavior. “Right now, we are probably at 7 percent. This is our fourth year, so there may not be

enough data to fully substantiate that, but, that being said, I would still rather have 7 percent at this point than what we were dealing with before these courts were created. I think we are at least on the right track.”

Over the past four years of being involved in the Accountability Court, Watkins said he has seen everything from true pain and family heartbreak to parents being overcome with emotion while watching their son or daughter graduate from the program.

“We try to help these folks with the cancer of addiction to substance abuse,” Watkins said. “Our goal is to try to help get that cancer into remission and remain in remission.

Sometimes we are successful and sometimes we are not. Today is about celebrating that success.”

As Watkins stood before the graduates of the DUI program, he warned them to respect their accomplishments and not to see this graduation as the final chapter.

“This ain’t no easy graduation. It ain’t no gimme,” Watkins said. “I take this very, very seriously. So if you got through here today, you’ve earned it. And I just ask you

“Some folks call me hard. Some folks call me ruthless. I’m probably a little bit of both.”

— Judge David Watkins AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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“Of the 882 [enrolled] — approximately 210 individuals were terminated or voluntarily withdrew before successfully completing the program. We have had a total of 356 individuals graduate, which includes the DUI, drug and veterans court programs.”

— Crystal Page to be careful from this point on because we have folks who have graduated on Friday and I had them in jail on Monday. And, you know, I’ll lock you up.”

The crowd chuckled, but Watkins let them know he wasn’t joking.

“You know I will do it,” he said. “And I don’t like locking folks up, by the way. But I’ll do it. So I just ask you to honor that which you are going to receive today. Make it possible that other folks will have the chance to come through this program. Respect the program and respect yourself.”

Like most high school and college graduations, this ceremony also included a distinguished speaker.

But this graduation speech was unlike most that people had ever heard before.

Terry Childers Jr., a community representative for Bradford Health Services, was asked to address the graduates of the Accountability Court that morning.

And what he said was unforgettable.

Childers, who has been sober since October 2005, opened up to the audience about his own past struggles with alcoholism and an addiction to painkillers.

“This past October, I celebrated 10 years of being sober,” Childers said. “I sure am grateful to be sober and to live a sober life, and I never, ever thought I would say something like that.”

But Childers shared with the graduates some of his darkest days that led him to recovery.

“For most of us, there are consequences that wake us up,” Childers said. “If you are like me, there are three things that happen to people like us: we either get cleaned up, locked up or covered up. I’ve gone to a lot of funerals over 20 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

the last few years. This is a disease that wants us dead, dead, dead. But it will settle for misery.”

Growing up in Augusta, Childers came from a famous sports family.

His father, Terry Childers, played eight seasons as a catcher in the minor leagues before retiring following the 1975 season. He played in the Chicago Cubs, Milwaukee Brewers and Montreal Expos systems.

In 1980, his father became the first full-time head baseball coach for Augusta College, where he remained for five seasons.

“Baseball was the Childers’ sport,” Childers told the graduates. “My father played professionally and coached regionally... My two youngest brothers played 15 years professionally. They both made it to the major leagues. I have another brother who is a minor league umpire.”

During his own baseball career, Childers wanted nothing more than to follow in his father’s footsteps.

He played high school baseball at Westside High School, where he led the Patriots to back-to-back state

championships. Childers then continued the winning tradition at the University of Georgia, where, as the starting catcher, he and the Bulldogs won the 1990 NCAA College World Series.

“I got a scholarship to the University of Georgia and, during my sophomore year, we won the college world series,” Childers said. “I was headed towards my dream of being a professional baseball player.” But, at the University of Georgia, Childers began drinking like many of his fellow college students. At first, it didn’t seem to be a problem because he was still excelling on the field, Childers said.

As proof of his tremendous athletic ability, Childers was signed as a free agent with the New York Mets following his collegiate career. However, that’s when things began to change when his drinking got worse.

“At the time, I just didn’t see it as a problem. I thought I was living the dream,” Childers said. “I just thought, ‘This is what ballplayers do.’ But what you are doing off the field definitely affects your performance on the field.”

“I just ask you to be careful from this point on because we have folks who have graduated on Friday and I had them in jail on Monday.

And, you know, I’ll lock you up.”

— Judge David Watkins 9JUNE2016

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“If you are like me, there are three things that happen to people like us: we either get cleaned up, locked up or covered up. I’ve gone to a lot of funerals over the last few years.

This is a disease that wants us dead, dead, dead. But it will settle for misery.”

— Terry Childers Jr. Childers played one season in the professional ranks, splitting the season between the Pittsfield Mets and the Capital City Bombers, before his baseball career was over.

While at college, Childers had met his first wife, so finally he decided to settle down and get a regular job in the “real world,” he said.

But Childers soon discovered he and his first wife had a lot in common when it came to addictions.

“She drank just like I did. She never told me, ‘It is bad for you to drink so much.’ Or, ‘You better slow down.’ Or, ‘If you don’t stop, I’m going to leave you,’” Childers said. “It was never anything like that. So, we got along just fine for a long time.”

As the years went by, Childers said his drinking progressed and, eventually, he began abusing prescription painkillers that his wife was given for an existing medical condition.

“After we had been married six or seven years, I started having some old sports injuries,” Childers said. “I was a catcher and I’m 6’3” tall so I’ve had some back problems and she would give me some of her pain pills.”

With alcohol and narcotics in the mix, Childers told the audience it didn’t take long for his life to spiral out of control.

“We started using the narcotics in different ways like needles and all kinds of stuff,” he said. “To this day, it is still hard for me to believe that I did that, but I did.”

Everything came to a head in 2005, he said.

“Everybody knew my wife at the time had a problem, but nobody really saw how bad my problem was because I was really good at hiding it,” Childers said. “All of the focus was on her, so we finally decided to do an intervention on her and get her some treatment. And of course, I remember she was looking at me, ‘Don’t you need to be part of this too?’”

But Childers continued to deny his own problem, even as he drove his then-wife to a treatment facility in Atlanta.

“We were taking her there for treatment and when we got there, we thought she was asleep in the car, but she had overdosed,” Childers said. “She was real close to death and for several hours they worked to get her back.”

Childers said he will never forget the moment she woke up in the hospital.

“The first thing she said to me, with all the tubes and the ventilator on, was, ‘Do you have anymore pills?’” Childers said. “And it just hit me like a ton of bricks right then. I thought, ‘This is insanity.’”

Despite his shock over her question, Childers said he reacted like an addict.

“I said, ‘No. I don’t have any, but do you?’ And she had a few left and I took them,” Childers said, shaking his head. “And that’s the last time I used any narcotics.”

The very next day, Childers said he turned to his family for help.

His family found a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center in Florida and enrolled him.

“The first thing, when I got down there, the counselor told me, ‘Well, Terry, you don’t have to change but one thing,’” Childers said. “And I said, ‘What’s that?’ And she said, ‘Everything.’”

At first, Childers said he thought the counselor was crazy.

“I thought, ‘Man, I’m in the wrong place. Change everything? I just have to stop drinking and drugging and I’ll be fine,’” Childers told the graduates. “Well, that is just 22 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

the beginning of getting better. I wish I could stand here and tell you that I went to that treatment center and I got clean and my wife got clean, but that’s just not the truth.”

Childers said the road to recovery was devastating. It led to a nasty divorce and a vicious custody battle over his two children.

“I ended up losing everything,” he said. “I went bankrupt. I had two homes. I lost those.

I went from being way up here, as far as how my family looked at me, to way down there.”

The only thing that got him through those dark days was Alcoholics Anonymous, he said.

“Those people loved me and supported me through all of that. If it wasn’t for that, I don’t think I would be standing here,” he told the audience. “I was so angry and so mad.

I was angry at myself. I was thinking, ‘How in the world did I let this happen to me?’”

Childers eventually learned to let the anger go.

“I learned in treatment that I had a disease. I’m not a bad person,” he said. “I’m sick and I’m going to get well. And it is the same way for everyone in here. We are sick people and we want to get well. And, for me, I was desperate enough to listen to people. I was desperate enough to get in the program and try it.”

And Childers is the first to admit, it wasn’t easy.

“To be honest with you, the first AA meeting I went to I thought it was a cult,” he said, as the audience laughed. “For me, the biggest part is just showing up, listening and letting God take care of your soul.”

That dedication has led to him to a very happy, sober life, Childers said.

A life that he is now extremely proud to be living, he said.

“About three years ago, my father got sick with cancer and he fought it for a couple of years and he passed away. It was very hard, but I didn’t have to drink and drug at all to get through that,” Childers said, pausing for a moment. “And actually one of the last things my dad told the hospice nurse was how proud he was of me because I was sober.

What a gift that was for me.”

These days, Childers says he is happily remarried to his new wife, whom he calls the love of his life and, for the past seven years, has worked for the local treatment center, Bradford Health Services.

“Now, I do a lot of speaking about my experience. I go to hospitals and I go to jails and I talk to people who need help,” he said. “Just this morning, I was telling my wife, ‘I am going to speak to the DUI graduates.’ It is almost surreal to me that 10 years later I would be doing something like this. It is awesome. It just shows you what God can do and what the people that God puts in your life can do.”

As Childers congratulated the graduates on their accomplishments, the audience enthusiastically applauded his courageous speech.

Several members in the crowd even proclaimed, “Amen!”

Watkins thanked Childers for his honesty and announced that it was time for each graduate to walk across the stage and receive their diploma.

The judge told the graduates to savor this moment.

“This is our way of recognizing your hard work and accomplishments,” Watkins said.

“You weathered it out. You put up with what they consider my ‘craziness.’”

On that day, Watkins said these graduates had earned his respect.

“I’m not asking anybody to be perfect, because I’m not perfect,” he said. “Y’all have to understand, I am no better than you. I put on my pants one leg at a time. I have my own addictions that I deal with. I am no better than you.”

But Watkins said he expects a great deal from the graduates because he expects the same high standards of himself.

“So if I hold you to a high standard it’s because I hold myself to a high standard,” he said. “That’s how I can show you the upmost respect. That’s just the way my brain works.

So I am genuinely happy and proud of those folks who are graduating here today. This is for you.”

“The first thing she said to me, with all the tubes and the ventilator on, was, ‘Do you have anymore pills?’ And it just hit me like a ton of bricks right then. I thought, ‘This is insanity.’”

— Terry Childers Jr. 9JUNE2016

23 26 32

What’s Up

Into the Woods Calendar Music Listings

Into the Woods

If you have any questions, or would like to submit an event to our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com.

By Amy Christian

tara Wood is known for a few things: a big heart, an even bigger family and a filthy, filthy mouth.

You may know this Columbia County mother of seven from her Facebook and blog called Love Morning Wood, which should give you an idea as to how warped her sense of humor can be. But Tara also is a devout Catholic, which she doesn’t necessarily see as being at odds with her personality.

“I did for a long long time try and fit into this box and I tried to be what I thought the good Catholic wife and mother should be,” she admitted on a recent weeknight at her kitchen table, surrounded by the laughs, cries and whines of six playing children, a nearly

thIs Week

FrIday Steve Walpert will end his career at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre on a high note with “One Man, Two Guvnors,” a comedy set in 1963 London about a man trying to pull one over on two different bosses.

The problem? One of those bosses is a gangster. The production begins tonight at 7 p.m. and continues June 11, June 16-18 and June 23-25.

satUrday

Monday

We know there are a lot of adult If you haven’t made it to World of fans of Benedict Cumberbatch in Beer yet, now’s a good night to go.

BBC’s “Sherlock,” and for those In addition to lots of beer choices, people we have bad news: The I great food and some pretty tasty Am Sherlocked program North cocktails, tonight they’ll feature live music. And whatever you decide to Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library at go with while you’re listening, here’s 7 p.m. is just for young adults. And, no: they probably won’t count 50 our advice: save room for dessert. as young adult. Sorry.

We can’t decide which we like better, the Belgian Waffle S’mores or the Pretzel Bread Pudding.

tUesday It’s still early enough in the summer that the evenings are still nice, rather than overwhelmingly hot and humid. Take advantage of these hours while you can with a trip out to Mistletoe State Park.

Tonight at 7 p.m. the staff there are offering an Evening Canoe and an Evening Nature Walk. Take your pick. The walk is free and the canoe is $10; both require a $5 parking fee.

For more information on these events, see our calendar of events on page 26.

9JUNE2016

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 23

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love stepping out of my comfort zone and am doing these things that I never, ever thought I would have the balls to do.”

one-year-old baby, two dogs and one cat.

“I do pray and I do try to follow the tenants of the Catholic church, although I do have disagreements with a few things. But the older I got, the more I thought that there’s no one way to be a good Catholic wife and mother. I have a sailor mouth but I don’t think that negates me from being a good Catholic wife and mother.”

Far from being ashamed of it (anymore), Tara is, if not proud, at least nonchalant about her use of a well-placed F-bomb or other lowly descriptive. In fact, in a June 2 post welcoming readers to her Love Morning Wood Facebook page, she warned unsuspecting visitors of what they might see.

“Just a heads up,” she wrote. “I have a deep and profound love for salty language and am unapologetic about it, so if the words ‘f***’, ‘bullshittery’ or ‘c*** gobbler’ offend you, I invite you to unlike this pageyou’ll be horrified if you stick around.”

Far from horrified, readers seemed to have embraced Tara’s no-nonsense take on motherhood and the reactions that 24 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

being the mom of seven inspire in those around her.

Since she began writing, Tara has gained nearly 17,000 followers, was cast in a show called Listen to Your Mother and is now a published author, having recently submitted and had accepted an essay called “It Didn’t Go So Smoothie” in a just published book called “I Just Want to Be Perfect.” She’ll sign copies of the book Thursday, June 16, at 4 p.m. at 3 Chicks boutique in Evans.

It’s a far cry from where her adult life began, and no one seems more surprised about it than Tara herself.

“It’s really cool because it’s mine,” she said. “I can’t hire it out, nobody else can do it for me and it’s just something because, for so long, I’ve just — not just been a mother because it’s valuable — but that’s what my identity has been. But this is separate from that and sometimes I get a little wrapped up and I’m like, ‘You’re going to have to wait on that because I’ve gotta finish this post’ and that’s something I’m working on, but it’s mine and I absolutely

The story starts as most do: with a meeting. But Tara didn’t meet her husband Garrett in the most traditional way.

“I was dating his best friend,” she laughed. “So Grady Nickel and I were dating. I went to Lakeside, Grady went to Westside and we had mutual friends who thought I looked like Natalie Merchant from 10,000 Maniacs and that Grady looked like Michael Stipe and that we should date and so they sort of put us together. Grady and Garrett were very good friends and there was — not instant attraction, but over the next few months there was a magnetic pull between the two of us, but it took years for us to actually get together. We always had a thing, a flirtation.”

Eventually, that flirtation led to marriage, marriage that has lasted 21 years. But it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for the two. The first few years were filled with problems that kept them from starting a family.

“Yeah, there were some bumps in the road that caused us to wait for a while. We weren’t ready,” she admitted. “We were still barhopping and stuff like that so we weren’t ready to be parents before we became parents. But it was a conscious and deliberate effort that we were ready to start that part of our lives and then they just kept coming. They’re every two years.”

“They” are the kids, who she and Garrett sometimes refer to as the Woodchips.

They include Juliette, 15; Bella, 12; Mia, 10; Leo, 8; Ronan, 5; Norah, 3; and Marigold, who will turn one at the end of the month.

And yes, Tara can still rattle off all their names and ages “as long as birthdates aren’t involved.”

The number of children is partly due to the couple’s Catholic faith. The Woods became Catholic the same year that Juliette was born, although Garrett recalls pondering the subject many years before.

“I was 25, and one night I remember I was on the front porch by myself and I’d had, like, I don’t know, eight or nine beers I’m sure at that point, and I was just like, ‘What in the hell is all this about?’” he said.

“I sat out there and pondered and said, ‘God, if you’re there, you know, give me something.’”

A few years later, Garrett and Tara were at a Mexican restaurant, drinking beer and flipping through, of all things, a copy of The Metro Spirit.

“It had a little section and it said, ‘Interested in Catholicism? Monday nights, come with your questions.’ It was real simple and we went, ‘Huh,’ he said.

“And then we went, ‘Well it’s in the Spirit, which was kind of funny because it was spiritual, so we went down there and it

was immediate for me. We weren’t there 15 minutes and I was like, ‘This is really cool.’”

Though neither had attended church as children, the meeting gave each of them a completely different feel from anything else they’d encountered.

“All I knew was Southern Baptist and it was hellfire and brimstone. We’re all sinners and we all suck and all that stuff,” Garrett explained. “This was just different.

It was very welcoming. Here’s what we’re about. Don’t check your brain at the door, I remember them saying that that first night. Ask questions. Question everything, basically. For whatever reason, I was like, ‘I’m in.’”

Tara was as well, but for a more practical reason.

“I think we just felt a pull. We wanted something a base to have our child grow up in,” she said. “I think we both had kind of been looking for something and Catholicism sort of fit the bill for us. It’s so steeped in history. I just felt like I wanted them to have a home so that no matter where they went in the world they could find a Catholic church and they’d hear the same liturgy in Brazil as they would in Augusta, Georgia.”

The matter of faith settled, the Woods set out to follow the tenants of the church, which called for no birth control other than natural family planning.

“But I’m not good with math and stuff and keeping up with dates,” Tara laughed.

“I was fortunate enough that breastfeeding kept me infertile until the next child came along, so I nursed Juliette for about 18 months and then about, I don’t know, two months later I was pregnant with Bella and every two years they just followed along.”

Besides Catholicism, there was another reason Tara and Garrett continued to have kids.

“I just kept feeling like my family wasn’t complete and I don’t know another way to say that,” she said. “I just think you know in your heart when your family is complete and I never really felt that. I could always see welcoming someone else. Like somebody was missing.”

Tara continued to feel like someone was missing, even as she got older and her pregnancies became more difficult. After Norah, she had two miscarriages and, with her last pregnancy, she said she knew if it ended in a miscarriage that was the end.

“That was just it: we were going to cap the well and our procreation days were over,” she said. “But I carried Marigold to term with much complication and got the golden ticket on that, so my uterus is in a landfill somewhere. I do feel peaceful about it. You know, Garrett’s 46 and I’m 43 in 10 days and I just feel like everybody’s here who’s supposed to be here now. I don’t feel like there’s somebody missing.”

Besides, seven is a number she can keep up with… barely.

9JUNE2016

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“I don’t get as much one on one time as I would like each day, but I know them,” she said. “I have trouble remembering their birth dates sometimes, but I know their personalities, I know their wants and needs, I know what their triggers are and what they need from me and I think that if I were to have more I might struggle with that and I don’t want to. I don’t want to have children just to collect children. I value all of them and I think if I had more that I would be pulled in too many different directions. I’m happy with our little seven. That’s always been my favorite number anyway.”

Spitting out kids may have come pretty easily to Tara, but it’s taken years for her to work up the courage to do what she always admired in others: write.

A major stumbling block, she said, was that while she was a fan of the Beat Poets, William Butler Yeats and John Keats, literature was her favorite subject and she even worked at Walden Books in the mall, she hated school. She went to Augusta State University for two semesters, but eventually left to take a full-time job at a urologist’s office. She worked there from the time she was 18 until she left the work force after Bella was born in 2003.

So while Garrett was working, first as an ICU nurse, then at both his day job and a business he was starting, then, finally, just at his internet company, Tara was home with the kids.

“I fancied myself a writer, but I never did [write],” she said. “I think I mostly loved the idea of it.”

Then came Facebook. Tara began just by posted status updates with funny things her kids did and said.

“And I started getting friend requests from people I didn’t know and I was like, ‘What’s going on?’” she said. “Finally, people started messaging me and saying, ‘Hey, I work with so and so and she reads your stories to me and I wanted to see if I could follow along.’”

Finally, after writing something about being stung by a jellyfish in Charleston, a friend who was an English teacher sent her a private message. “You’re a writer,” is what it said. She didn’t believe him, but humored him by telling him she would sit down and write every day for 30 days.

One of the challenges was finding time to write when seven kids monopolized her every waking hour every single day.

So she woke up ridiculously early to write, toyed with the idea of started a community Facebook page and hit upon a name that combined her last name with her early morning writing practice and the fact that she hoped people would like what she wrote.

Love Morning Wood was born.

“So I put this little wooden coffee cup as the icon and this little silly thing Leo had written as the cover photo and woke up 9JUNE2016

the next day and had 75 readers. The next day I had 300 readers and it just grew. I thought maybe an aunt out of town and maybe some cousins would read it,” she said. “I started in November and said, ‘If I have a thousand readers by my birthday in June, then I’ll start a proper blog and I’ll buy a .com domain name. And I hit a thousand readers two months in advance of my birthday.”

That was in 2013 and, at lovemorningwood.com, Tara began experimenting with longer pieces. Those pieces, combined with her Facebook presence, resonated with readers and garnered her more and more attention.

She’s been named one of Today’s Funniest Parents by the Today Show many times and wrote a monthly column for Metro Augusta Parent magazine.

“It was huge because I was like, ‘My kids will be able to read this. My kids’ kids will be able to read this,’” she said. “They might not think anything of it, but lots of people would love to have an article and have people be able to read your words and then come back to you and say, ‘That touched something in me’ or ‘That made me pee my pants’ or whatever.”

A big leap for Tara was when she submitted an essay for Listen to Your Mother, a show held in different cities across the country in which moms read their parenting essays in front of a live audience. She had never spoken in front of a large group before (“Not unless I have all my kids lined up on the couch and am yelling at them”) and was scared to death.

“And I told the kids, ‘Hey, I’m going to audition for the show with a piece that I’ve written and I just want you to know that I’m scared to do this but I’m doing it because I can’t tell you to jump off cliffs if I’m not willing to do it myself. I just want you to know that I’m doing it and we’ll see what happens,’” she said.

There were a mix of essays read at Listen to Your Mother in April, from sad to thoughtful to… Tara’s, which was called “Bottom’s Up.” “I was sort of the comic relief for the show and when I was up there and I was reading and I got those first real laughs?

It was immediate, it was a natural high, it was an adrenaline thing,” she said. “I never thought when I was holding my baby that I’d be checking her asshole for pinworms in 10 years. But you have to do stuff like that as a mom and if you have the ability to tell that story so that it’s not so… well, it is gross but if people go, ‘Oh my god that’s horrible but so funny’ that’s great. If you can write that way, or you can tell stories that happen every day then other mothers or dads may feel like they’re not mucking it all up and that we all make mistakes and everybody isn’t perfect and that’s okay.”

Making people laugh is Tara’s primary motivation in everything she does for

public consumption, but taking the perfection out of parenting has become a close second.

“I never want to hurt anybody, but I don’t mind pissing people off a little bit or maybe ruffling some feathers,” she said. “I just try to be supportive to other people who are struggling, and sanctimommies who think they have it all figured out and they know how every parent should parent when they have no idea about different struggles people are having? I enjoy putting them in their place.”

This is the same person, however, who will pick up a woman struggling with her umbrella in the rain and give her a ride in the Wood’s 15-passenger “murder van,” which just happens to have an I Heart Pope Francis and a Happy sticker on the back. She has the support of her family, although she does run potential posts by her 15-year-old sometimes, so she’s not too concerned about what other people think about her online presence.

“It’s taken me a long time to be unapologetic about the words that I use,” she said, “but I’m a good person and I think that if people decide that I am not a good person based on some of the language that I use then that’s really their loss because I’m a good friend, I’m a good person and I try to be a decent parent.”

“You’ve lost a few people along the

way,” Garrett added. “There’ve been a couple of people who think you’re not the kind of mother you should be, or the kind of Catholic mother you should be. That’s going to happen, but these weren’t good friends of ours. Our good friends, whatever their opinions are, have stuck around.”

“You know, it’s the whole you might want to remove the plank in your eye before you talk about the splinter in mine,” Tara said. “But other than that, there really haven’t been any downsides. It’s been a great experience for me. I’m in a book, I’ve got readers all over the world who are just wonderful and it’s made me braver.”

“I Just Want to Be Perfect” Book sIgnIng WIth tara Wood 3 Chicks Thursday, June 16 4 p.m.

706-288-9002 3chicksshop.com

V27|NO23

Helpful Guide Friedman Branch Library Call 706-736-6758 or visit arcpls.org.

3:30pm - 5pm Intermediate Spanish Friedman Branch Library An adult class led by Edwin Perez of the Asociacion Cultural Hispanoamericana. Call 706-736-6758 or visit arcpls.org.

Tue June 14

10:30am Get to Know Your PINES Account Appleby Branch Library Call 706-736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

Wed June 15

10:30am Microsoft Office: PowerPoint Basics for Beginners Headquarters Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2615 or visit arcpls.org.

“The Wizard of Oz” Imperial Theatre Saturday, June 11 10 a.m.

Part of the Summer Family Fun Film Series.

Free, but tickets required.

706-722-8341 imperialtheatre.com

ARTS Mon June 13

6:30pm Adults Can Color Too! Headquarters Branch Library Coloring pages, pencils and crayons provided. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2615 or visit arcpls.org.

Thu June 16

6pm - 9pm Annual Arts Awards and Membership Meeting Enterprise Mill Events Center A Greater Augusta Arts Council event. Visit augustaarts.com.

CAMPS Mon June 13 - Fri June 17 7am - 5pm Youth Horse Camp

Hilltop Riding Stables, Fort Gordon For those ages 7-13, who will learn riding, grooming, care and tack, as well as participate in other camp activities. $250, sponsored; $275, unsponsored. Call 706-7914864 or visit fortgordon.com.

8am - 5pm Summer Adventures Camp Weeks Activities Center, Aiken For those ages 5-12. Early drop off at 7:30 a.m. and late pick up until 5:30 p.m. available. $70 per week. Call 803-642-7631 or visit visitaikensc.com.

26 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

8am - 5pm Summer Fun Day Camp Smith-Hazel Recreation Center, Aiken For those ages 5-14. Early drop off at 7:45 a.m. available. $60 per week. Call 803-6427761 or visit visitaikensc.com.

8:30am - 5pm Augusta University Theatre Camp Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre A camp for middle- and high-school students that will provide exclusive theatre training from professionals. $225. Call 706721-3083 or visit augusta.edu/ce/pace.

9am - 3:30pm Camp Invention Ruth Patrick Science Education Center, Aiken For rising first-sixth graders, this is a camp in which participants will construct and personalize a DIY solar-powered cricket, play games, build prototypes and more. Call 800-968-4332 or visit campinvention.org.

9am - 4pm Sumo Robot League Camp theClubhou.se A camp for those ages 11 and older in which participants will assemble and program a sumo robot. Participants should bring a sack lunch. $300 per person, plus $100 for the kit. Call 706723-5782 or visit theclubhou.se/camps/.

9am - 4pm Camp Kroc Summer Camp Kroc Center For those ages 5-12. Extended care available. $100 a week, members; $125, non-

10:30am The ARCPLS Website: A Helpful Guide Diamond Lakes Branch Library Call 706-772-2432 or visit arcpls.org.

3pm Beginner Spanish Aiken Public Library A class for adults. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. members; $5 a day, extended care; $30 a week, swim lessons. Call 706-922-1533 or visit salvationarmyaugusta.org.

6pm - 7:30pm Youth Archery Camp Weeks Center, Gym I, Aiken For those ages 5-17. $60, residents; $80, non-residents. Call 803-642-7631 or visit visitaikensc.com.

6pm - 7:30pm Spanish Conversation Headquarters Branch Library For those at beginner and intermediate levels. Call 317-695-4748.

Thu June 16

5:30pm Gardens in Stone: Floral Representations on Headstones

Thu June 9

10:30am Getting to Know Your PINES Account

Maxwell Branch Library Presented by Elizabeth Laney from the Redcliffe Plantation State Historic Site. Preregistration required. Call 706-793-2020 or visit arcpls.org.

Diamond Lakes Branch Library Call 706-772-2432 or visit arcpls.org.

ELSEWHERE

EDUCATION

Sat June 11

11:30am, 12:30pm, 1:30pm The Other Tubmans Augusta Museum of History Part of the Voices of the Past series of character monologues. Free with museum admission. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Sat June 11

5pm Legacy: Mixed Media Creation of Paige Toteno Opening Reception LithaMoonGallery, Greensboro Reception is free, family friendly and open to the public. The exhibition will be on display at the gallery through July 11. Call 513-356-4055 or visit lithmoon.com.

EXHIBITIONS

Mon June 13

Thu June 9

Friedman Branch Library Call 706-736-6758 or visit arcpls.org.

Hire Grounds Cafe Ealy’s work will be on display in the cafe in the month of June. Call 706-650-5760 or visit goodwillworks.org.

10:30am Get to Know Your PINES Account

6pm Meet the Artist: Brenda Ealy

11:30am The ARCPLS Website: A 9JUNE2016

Fri June 10

5pm - 8pm Ondaree Kelley Exhibit Opening Reception That Place Call 706-339-7011 or visit thatplacecoffee.com.

5pm - 8pm Ruth Pearl Exhibit Reception 4P Studios Call 706-267-6724 or visit 4pstudioart.com.

FLIX Thu June 9

11am Thursday Movie Madness Diamond Lakes Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit arcpls.org.

7:30pm “The Midnight Orchestra” Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center Shows as part of the Augusta Jewish Film Festival. Call 706-228-3636 or visit augustajcc.org.

Pre-registration required. $10; car or booster seat provided to families who meet financial guidelines. Call 706-721-7606 or visit augustahealth.org.

6:30pm - 9pm Your Amazing Baby Augusta University Medical Center Pre-registration is required for this baby care class. Call 706-721-8283 or visit augustahealth.org.

7pm - 9:30pm Women’s Center Tour University Hospital Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Sat June 11

10:30am Childbirth Tour Augusta Health Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2273 or visit augustahealth.org.

Mon June 13

4pm Breast Self-Exam Class

Sat June 11

10am “The Wizard of Oz” Imperial Theatre Part of the Summer Family Fun Film Series.

Free, but tickets required. Call 706-722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com.

University’s Breast Health Center Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

6:30pm Refit

2:30pm Family Fun Movies

Headquarters Branch Library A free cardio dance class. Call 706-8212600 or visit arcpls.org.

Appleby Branch Library Call 706-736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

Tue June 14

6:30pm Childbirth Tour

Tue June 14

2pm Retro Family Afternoon Movie Appleby Branch Library Featuring “The Mighty Ducks.” Participants are invited to bring their own snacks. Call 706-736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

7:30pm “Once in a Lifetime” Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center Shows as part of the Augusta Jewish Film Festival. Call 706-228-3636 or visit augustajcc.org.

Ongoing

Call for Entries Cause + Effect Georgia Progressive Film Competition The festival will accept through October 2 short film with a focus on social, political, environment or economic issues facing Georgia or a community in Georgia.

Open to all Georgia filmmakers. No entry fees. Semifinalist films will screen at Cine in Athens in November. Visit causeandeffectfilm.org.

HEALTH Thu June 9

5:45pm - 8pm Car Seat Class Safe Kids Office 9JUNE2016

AUHealth Call 706-721-2273 or visit augustahealth.org.

7:30pm Childbirth Tour AUHealth Call 706-721-2273 or visit augustahealth.org.

Wed June 15

6:30pm Infant CPR: AHA Friends and Family AugustaHealth Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2273 or visit augustahealth.org.

2pm Beyond Basics: Taking Family History Research to the Next Level Headquarters Library’s Georgia Heritage Room An intermediate genealogy class. Preregistration required. Call 706-826-1511 or visit arcpls.org.

6pm Breastfeeding Class Babies R Us Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

HOBBIES Sat June 11

10:30am - 3pm Coin “Road Show” Appraisal Aiken Public Library The Stephen James CSRA Coin Club experts will estimate the value of antique coins and currency, both United States and foreign. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Columbia County Library A teen program featuring gaming on a big screen with surround sound. Call 706-8631946 or visit gchrl.org.

4pm Teen Book Club

Wed June 15

Noon Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters Fat Man’s Mill Cafe Those interested are invited to learn speech and leadership skills in a fun and supportive atmosphere. Call 706-627-2134.

KIDS-TEENS Thu June 9

10:30am Tye Dye

Thu June 16

2:30pm - 5pm Get in the (Video) Game

Appleby Branch Library A craft program for those ages 12 and up.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

10:30am Tye Dye Appleby Branch Library A craft program for those ages 3 and up.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

2pm Afternoon Dance Party Headquarters Branch Library For those ages 8-12. Call 706-821-2600 or visit arcpls.org.

Harlem Branch Library Call 706-556-9795 or visit gchrl.org.

Fri June 10

10:15am - 11:30am Friday Story Times North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library Story time are at 10:15 for those ages 0-2 years and at 11 a.m. for those ages 3-5 years.

Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

2:30pm Friday Afternoon Movie Series Columbia County Library A teen program featuring popcorn and a new movie each week. Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

3pm CSRA Defensive Arts North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library A demonstration of kindai karate. Call 803279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

7pm B-Fest Teen Book Festival: Be in the Know Barnes & Noble Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

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Sat June 11

Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706821-2623 or visit arcpls.org.

Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Pre-registration required. Call 706-396-1424 or visit phinizycenter.org.

2pm Movie Monday

9:30am - 11am Children’s Hike with Story Time

10am Father’s Day Tie Workshop Hire Grounds Cafe A free workshop for kids of all ages. Preregistration by June 8 required. Call 706-6505760 or email hferrante@goodwillworks.org.

11am B-Fest Teen Book Festival: B First Barnes & Noble Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

11am Kevin Welch Visit North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library Welch, from Controlled Chaos Enterprises, will talk about movie industry stunt men.

Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

11am Oh, the Places You’ll Go Story Time Barnes & Noble Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

2pm B-Fest Teen Book Festival: B Part of the Fun Barnes & Noble An event that includes a spelling showdown, story ball, games, activities, prizes and more.

Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

2pm Lego Club Headquarters Branch Library Legos provided. Pre-registration required.

Call 706-821-2623 or visit arcpls.org.

Sun June 12

2pm B-Fest Teen Book Festival: B Creative Barnes & Noble Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Mon June 13

10am - noon Maker Mondays Columbia County Library A teen event in which participants will work on a group project or one of their own using the library’s equipment. Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

10am Monday at the Museum: Southern Summer Augusta Museum of History This is a program for preschool-aged children. $2, members; $4, non-members.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

10:30am Music & Me Headquarters Branch Library A class for children ages 0-4 in which participants will learn how to chant, sing, play instruments and move to the music.

28 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Headquarters Branch Library A G- or PG-rated movie will be shown in the children’s department. Call 706-821-2600 or visit arcpls.org.

7pm I Am Sherlocked North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library A YA program based on the BBC hit Sherlock.

Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Tue June 14

10:15am Big Kids Story Time Headquarters Branch Library Stories and songs for those ages 3-5. Preregistration recommended. Call 706-8212623 or visit arcpls.org.

10am - 11:30am Puddle Ducks: Kids & Caregivers Club Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Stories and hands-on fun. Free, members; $5, nonmembers. Call 706-396-1424 or email info@phinizycenter.org.

10:30am Father’s Day Craft Diamond Lakes Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit arcpls.org.

Bridge to Broadway Party Sacred Heart Cultural Center Thursday, June 9 7-10 p.m.

A fundraiser for the “A Scythe of Time” production during the New York Musical Festival in July. $100; $50, students and military. ascytheoftime.com

10:30am Keith Karnock, Ventriloquist Harlem Branch Library Call 706-556-9795 or visit gchrl.org.

10:30am Mr. Bill and His Guitar Friedman Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit arcpls.org.

2pm Eco Lab With Sean Poppy Headquarters Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2623 or visit arcpls.org.

2:30pm Keith Karnok, Ventriloquist Euchee Creek Branch Library Call 706-556-0594 or visit gchrl.org.

6:30pm Keith Karnok, Ventriloquist Columbia County Library Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

Wed June 15

10:15am Story Time for Tots Headquarters Branch Library Stories and songs for those ages 0-3. Preregistration recommended. Call 706-8212623 or visit arcpls.org.

10am Wacky Wednesday Story Time Barnes & Noble Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

10:30am Chad Crews Magician

Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

3pm Magician Chad Crews

10:30am Library Scavenger Hunt Appleby Branch Library An event for those ages 6-12. Preregistration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

10:30am Tye Dye Craft Friedman Branch Library Call 706-736-6758 or visit arcpls.org.

2pm Magician Chad Crews Aiken Community Playhouse Part of the Aiken Public Library’s series of summer reading events. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

2pm Morris Museum Story and Craft Columbia County Library

Aiken Community Playhouse Part of the Aiken Public Library’s series of summer reading events. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

4:30pm - 6pm Alley Cats Strikehouse Bowl, Aiken Part of the Aiken Recreation Department’s Buddy Sports program for those with physical and/or intellectual disabilities, this class is for those of all bowling abilities. $12 a month; pre-registration required. Call 803426-1284 or visit therecingcrew.com.

5pm Teens @ Your Library Diamond Lakes Branch Library For those ages 12-17, this event includes movies, crafts and/or board games. Preregistration required. Call 706-772-2432 or 9JUNE2016

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11:30am - 1pm Senior Luncheon Lucy Craft Laney Museum Conference Center Featuring the history of the Augusta Municipal Golf Course and the four African Americans who teed off, in 1964, surrounded by an angry crowd. $11; pre-registration required. Call 706-724-3576.

Thu June 16

10:30am Senior Tech Help Appleby Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

10:30am Seniors Golden Games Appleby Branch Library Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

SPECIAL EVENTS Thu June 9

Gardens in Stone: Floral Representations on Headstones Maxwell Branch Library Thursday, June 16 5:30 p.m.

Presented by Elizabeth Laney from the Redcliffe Plantation State Historic Site. Pre-registration required.

706-793-2020 arcpls.org visit ecgrl.org.

Thu June 16

10:30am Tye Dye Diamond Lakes Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit arcpls.org.

2pm Game Day

MUSIC

Mon Jun 13, 2016

Thu June 9

7pm Music in the Park

2pm Namaste at the Library

Fri Jun 10, 2016

Columbia County Library A teen program featuring gaming on a big screen with surround sound. Call 706-8631946 or visit gchrl.org.

6pm Hungry Hungry Hippos Aiken Public Library A life-sized human version of the board game for those in grades 6-12. Call 803-6422023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

LITERARY Mon June 13

7pm - 9pm Pub Fiction Book Club 30 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

6pm - 9pm Swamp Soiree Attendees are invited to bring their own lawn chairs, blankets and picnics for this live jazz concert. $6. Call 706-821-1754 or visit augustaga.gov.

Maude Edenfield Park, North Augusta Featuring Crescent Brass. In case of inclement weather, the concert will be held in the community center. Free. Visit naartscouncil.org.

2:30pm - 5pm Get in the (Video) Game

Downtown Aiken This weekly event includes fresh goods, food vendors, artisans, flowers and live music. Call 803-293-2214.

Pizza Central Hosted by Columbia County Library staff.

June’s selection is “Going Postal” by Terry Prachet. Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

Headquarters Branch Library A teen summer reading program featuring classic board and card games. Call 706-8212600 or visit arcpls.org.

Headquarters Branch Library A free kids yoga class. Pre-registration recommended. Call 706-821-2623 or visit arcpls.org.

5pm - 7:30pm Farmers Market in the Alley

7pm - 8:30pm Music Cruise Augusta Canal Featuring Chris Hardy performing on the Petersburg Boat. Participants are invited to bring snacks and beverages. $25; $23, seniors, military and students. Preregistration required. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4, or visit augustacanal.com.

Sat Jun 11, 2016

11am - 2pm Saturday Morning Swing Eighth Street Plaza Live music from local jazz artists and performing arts groups during the Augusta Market. Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

Sun Jun 12, 2016

7:30pm - 9:30pm Candlelight Jazz Augusta Common

Home of Lelia Barrett A fundraiser for Phinizy Center for Water Sciences that includes dinner by Dye’s Southern Catering, cocktails, live bluegrass, a raffle and more. $50-$90; $10, raffle tickets. Call 706-828-2129 or visit phinizycenter.org.

7pm Hopelands Summer Concert Series

7pm - 10pm Bridge to Broadway Party

Hopelands Gardens, Aiken Featuring Maureen Simpson and the Aiken Choral Society. Attendees can bring blankets, lawn chairs, picnics and well-behaved pets on leashes, but no alcohol. Free. Call 803-6427631 or visit facebook.com/experienceaiken.

The rain-out hotline is 803-643-4661.

Sacred Heart Cultural Center A fundraiser for the “A Scythe of Time” production during the New York Musical Festival in July. $100; $50, students and military. Visit ascytheoftime.com.

Fri June 10

Tue Jun 14, 2016

Medical Associates Plus A market selling fresh, locally grown and organic fruits and vegetables that will also feature a kids fun zone. WIC and Snap EBT accepted. Call 877-205-5006 or email info@ mapbt.com.

8pm Evenings in the Appleby Garden Appleby Branch Library A free event in which participants can bring their own chairs, blankets beverages and snacks. Those with the best lawn party decor can compete to be the Appleby Garden Party Winner of the Week. Call 706736-6244 or visit arcpls.org.

Thu Jun 16, 2016

7pm Music in the Park Maude Edenfield Park, North Augusta Featuring McKenna Hydrick. In case of inclement weather, the concert will be held in the community center. Free. Visit naartscouncil.org.

SENIORS Wed June 15

10am - 3pm Summer Produce Market

8pm - 10pm Fundraising Gala Le Chat Noir Les Chatons Noir young actors collective presents this evening of musical theatre standards and monologues. $5. Call 706722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com.

Sat June 11

8am - 2pm Augusta Market at the River 8th Street Plaza, Reynolds Street The event features vendors of all kinds, activities, live entertainment and more. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

9JUNE2016

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Sun June 12

2pm Library Open House Headquarters Branch Library An event that includes demonstrations on virtual library and the GLASS talking books program, as well as a movie screening. Call 706-821-2600 or visit arcpls.org.

Mon June 13

6pm Second Annual Potluck Helms College A meeting and networking opportunity for local culinarians, purveyors and farmers that will include keynote speaker Kim Hines from Augusta Locally Grown and music by Keith Gregory. Call 706-834-2674.

Thu June 16

5pm - 7:30pm Farmers Market in the Alley Downtown Aiken This weekly event includes fresh goods, food vendors, artisans, flowers and live music. Call 803-293-2214.

Beyond Basics: Taking Family History Research to the Next Level Headquarters Branch Library’s Georgia Heritage Room Saturday, June 11 2 p.m.

An intermediate genealogy class.

Pre-registration required.

706-826-1511 arcpls.org

5pm - 8pm Third Thursday Tasting Wine World A drop-in event that features a wine or beer tasting. $5; $3 rebate upon purchase of a featured bottle. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com.

SPORTS-OUTDOORS Fri June 10

10am - noon Friday Summer Fun Mistletoe State Park Kid-friendly activities in the park led by a Naturalist. $5 plus $5, parking. Call 706-5410321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe.

Sat June 11

9:30am - 11:30am Canoe Paddle Mistletoe State Park Participants can either bring their own equipment or rent a park canoe for $10. $10 plus $5 parking; pre-registration required. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe.

Tue June 14

7pm - 9pm Evening Canoe Mistletoe State Park Pre-registration required. $10 plus $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe.

7pm - 9pm Evening Nature Walk Mistletoe State Park $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe.

Thu June 16

7:05pm Augusta GreenJackets vs.

Lexington Legends Lake Olmstead Stadium 9JUNE2016

$8-$12. Call 706-922-9467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

SUPPORT Thu June 9

12:30pm Breast Cancer Support AU Cancer Center Call 706-721-1560 or visit augusta.edu.

Tue June 14

10:20am Moms Connection Augusta University Medical Center This free weekly support group for new mothers meets in the Terrace Dining Dogwood Room on the second floor. Call 706-721-8283 or visit augustahealth.org.

7pm Alzheimer’s Support Group

Fri June 10

Alzheimer’s Association Chapter Building Call 706-731-9060.

Augusta University Medical Office Building This support group gives individuals an opportunity to share their personal experiences and learn more about strategies for preserving the independence and quality of life for ALS patients and their loved ones. Lunch is provided. Free, but pre-registration required.

Call 706-721-2681 or visit augusta.org/classes.

7pm OB/GYN Cancer Support Group

11am ALS Support Lunch and Learn

Mon June 13

6pm Pink Magnolias Breast Cancer Support Group

Call 706-821-2944.

Wed June 15

11:30am Blood Cancer/BMT Support AU Cancer Center For patients, family, friends and caregivers.

Call 706-721-1634 or visit auhealth.org.

Thu June 16

6pm Bariatric Surgery Support Group

University’s Breast Health Center Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

University Hospital Call 706-774-8931 or visit universityhealth.org.

6:30pm Men’s Breast Cancer Support

THEATER

University’s Breast Health Center Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

Fri June 10

7pm “One Man, Two Guvnors”

Dinner begins at 7 p.m., and the show starts at 8 p.m. $48, civilians; $45, seniors, retirees, DA civilians, active-duty E7 and above; $35, activeduty E6 and below, students; $28, show only.

Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com.

7:30pm “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” Aiken Community Playhouse An Aiken Community Playhouse production. $25; $20, seniors; $15, students and $10, children 12 and under. Call 803-648-1438 or visit aikencommunityplayhouse.com.

Sat June 11

7pm “One Man, Two Guvnors” Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com.

7:30pm “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” Aiken Community Playhouse Call 803-648-1438 or visit aikencommunityplayhouse.com.

Thu June 16

7pm “One Man, Two Guvnors” Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com.

Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 31

V27|NO23

Flight of the Conchords Chastain Park, Atlanta Tuesday, July 12 8 p.m.

Tickets going fast!

Chastain.parkamphitheatre.com Thursday, June 9 Live Music

The Iron Heights - Cognitive Maude Edenfield Park - (North Augusta) Music in the Park w/ the Crescent Brass Mellow Mushroom (Aiken) - Live Music on the Patio Soul Bar - Blames Brown, Frank White Stillwater Taproom - Chris Ndeti and Company That Place - John Stoney Cannon Wild Wing - Matt Acosta The Willcox (Aiken) - Thursday Night Jazz w/ 4 Cats in the Dog House

What’s Tonight?

Bar West - Open Mic Night w/ Jonathon Flowers Carolina Ale House - Trivia w/ Mike Sleeper (9 p.m.)

Chevy’s - Karaoke Cotton Patch - Old School Thursday w/ DJ Groove Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke MAD Studios - Open Mic, Spoken Word Pizza Joint (Downtown) - Trivia w/ Mike Sleeper (7 p.m.)

Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane Somewhere in Augusta - Poker for Fun That Place - Open Mic Spoken Word, Poetry, Prose and Singer/Songwriters

Friday, June 10 Live Music Cody Webb The Country Club Friday, June 10 10 p.m. $3, girls; $5, guys 706-364-1862 augustacountry.com 32 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Augusta Canal - Music Cruise w/ Chris Hardy The Backyard Tavern - Thick as Thieves Bar West - Live Music Cotton Patch - Live Jazz & Blues Country Club - Cody Webb The Highlander - Electric Voodoo The Iron Heights - Amnesis Playoffs (Aiken) - Anybody’s Guess Shannon’s - Mike and Walter Sky City - Monkier, Caleb Tokarska Somewhere in Augusta - The Unmentionables

The Stables Restaurant (Aiken) - Keith Gregory Stillwater Taproom - Rye Baby, Josh Powell Vallarta’s - Donna Jo Whole Foods - Music @ the Turn w/ The versatility Project Wild Wing - Rick Monroe Band The Willcox (Aiken) - John Vaughn

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s - DJ Nicky B Soul Bar - Soul Bar Sound Lab Vera Cruz Mexican Restaurant - Karaoke

Saturday, June 11 Live Music

Cotton Patch - Live Jazz & Blues Country Club - Daniel Lee Coyotes - Brother in Blue Benefit Eighth Street Plaza - Saturday Morning Swing at the Augusta Market on the River Shannon’s - Sassy Brass Sky City - Le Goose Somewhere in Augusta - Adam Harris Thompson Band Stillwater Taproom - Jacob Beltz Wild Wing - Tokyo Joe The Willcox (Aiken) - John Vaughn World of Beer - Phonic Cafe, Justin Petrey

What’s Tonight?

The Backyard Tavern - Karaoke Bar West - DJ Fugi Chevy’s - DJ Nicky B Helga’s Pub & Grille - Bluegrass Brunch (11 a.m.-3 p.m.); Trivia, nights The Highlander - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ladies Night, Singles Night Vera Cruz Mexican Restaurant - Karaoke

Sunday, June 12 Live Music

Aiken Speakeasy and Eats (Aiken) - Live Jazz Augusta Common - Candlelight Jazz Concert Series Mellow Mushroom (Aiken) - Brunch w/ Mike Frost and Lauren Meccia 9JUNE2016

V27|NO23

Wild Wing - Jason Marcum The Willcox (Aiken) - John Vaughn

What’s Tonight?

Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane

Monday, June 13 Live Music

Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) - Hopelands Summer Concert Series w/ Maureen Simpson and the Aiken Choral Society Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - Blues Monday w/ Famous Last Words Soul Bar - Reference, Clarity

What’s Tonight?

Joe’s Underground - Poker Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane Somewhere in Augusta - World Tavern Poker Wild Wing - Trivia Wing Place (Aiken) - Trivia

Tuesday, June 14 Live Music

Appleby Library Gardens - Evenings in the Appleby Garden w/ A Band of Kelleys Joe’s Underground - Open Mic The Willcox (Aiken) - Hal Shreck

What’s Tonight?

Bar West - Trivia The Cotton Patch - Trivia Limelite Cafe - Bottom’s Up Trivia Mellow Mushroom (Aiken) - Trivia Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane

Somewhere in Augusta - Big Prize Trivia w/ Gorman Soul Bar - Soul Night w/ DJ Matto Twisted Burrito - Trivia w/ Mike Sleeper

New Edition

- Bell Auditorium June 23 LIttle River Band, ARS, Firefall

- Evans Towne Center Park June 23 Phillip Lee Jr. and Michael Baideme

Wednesday, June 15 Live Music

The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Shameless Dave Wild Wing - Will McCranie

- Stillwater Taproom June 23 Almost Kings

- Sky City June 24 Hard Rocket

- Stillwater Taproom June 24 Sibling String

What’s Tonight?

The Backyard Tavern - Karaoke Bar West - Karaoke Chevy’s - Karaoke Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Pizza Joint (Evans) - Trivia w/ Mike Sleeper The Playground - Krazy Karaoke w/ Big Troy Polo Tavern (Aiken) - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Sky City - Wednesday Night Conspiracy w/ DJ Knightmare Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Mo Alexander and Andy Murray Stillwater Taproom - Pub Quiz Surrey Tavern - Trivia w/ Christian and Mickey

- Stillwater Taproom June 25 False Flag, Lost Boy

- Sky City July 9 David Lee, The Ultimate Elvis

- Jabez S. Hardin PAC July 16 Steve Miller Band

- Bell Auditorium July 19 Chris Robinson Brotherhood

- Sky City July 22 The Monkees

- Bell Auditorium July 24

REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN.

Maxwell

- Bell Auditorium August 6 I Love the ‘90s Tour w/ Salt N Pepa, Vanilla Ice, Coolio, Kid N Play, Rob Base, Tone Loc, Color Me Badd

- Bell Auditorium October 6

Try FREE: 706-434-0108

More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

ZZ Top

Upcoming

- Bell Auditorium October 26

Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons

- Bell Auditorium June 17

Elsewhere

Scott Low and Southern Bouillon

Selena Gomez, DNCE

- Stillwater Taproom June 17

- Philips Arena, Atlanta June 9

Donald Merckle and the Blacksmiths

Harry Connick Jr.

- Stillwater Taproom June 18

- Chastain Park, Atlanta June 11

Ahora español Livelinks.com 18+ Meet sexy new friends

FREE TRIAL

706-434-0112

V27|NO23

SIGHTINGS

Michael Johnson | mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Natalie Vaccaro, Dillon Howlett and Caroline Carrier at Mellow Mushroom downtown.

Ashlyn Platts, Caitlin Cleland, Elizabeth Allen and Daniel Platts at the Bee’s Knees.

Cissy and Stevie Dement with Jami Bracewell at First Friday.

Justin and Kate Ivey with Megan Auge with Jesse Ragain at Whiskey Bar (Kitchen).

Giada Biasetti, Liana Babayan and Lindsey MonBarren at Fuse Creative Cuisine & Craft Beer.

Christian and Amie Holmes with Molly Nicholson with Justin Rizzi at Fuse Creative Cuisine & Craft Beer.

Katie Cavagnaro, Lan Nguyen and Jennifer Tyson at Farmhaus.

Allie VanDuver, Luke Coffey and Courtney Thompson at Mudbugabeaux ‘n’ Brew Festival at the Augusta Common.

Audrey Lown, Alex Ray and Krissie Hooson at Mudbugabeaux ‘n’ Brew Festival at the Augusta Common.

34 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

9JUNE2016

V27|NO23

BEST-PICTURE ADAPTATIONS

By Kevin G. Der/Edited by Will Shortz ACROSS 1 2013 Best Picture nominee in which a main character isn’t human 4 Airplane part 9 “Hairspray” mom usually played by a man 13 Leg presses work them 18 60 minuti 19 Successors to Cutlasses 21 Best Picture adaptation about … a search for the perfect brew, with “The”?

23 Disney Channel’s “____ and Maddie” 24 … inaudible metrical poetry, with “The”?

26 Northeast Corridor train 28 Like groaners 29 River islet 30 1988 chart-topping country album 32 Game for bankers?

33 Psychedelic 37 … a fat Eastern monarch?

43 One in a no-blinking contest 45 Second draft 46 Neighbor 48 Extended rental?

49 Sea urchin, at a sushi bar 50 … fools accompanying a pack of wild animals?

56 King’s handful 59 Chance occurrence, old-style 60 Bad sound in a changing room 61 Vegas-to-Denver dir.

62 Part of a city network 63 “Relax” 64 Reusable part of a common thank-you gift 67 … a reed and percussion duet?

71 Group standing at the U.N. 74 Treat with a “Golden” variety 75 They rank below marquises 79 Words before and after “what” 80 O.T. book before Jeremiah 81 Chorus line?

82 Obstacle in road repairs, maybe 84 … an éclair or crème brûlée, with “The”?

90 Previously 91 Spork part 92 Daughter in E. M. Forster’s “Howards End” 93 Neighbor of Irkutsk on a Risk board 96 Badger

99 … gorgeous fur?

103 Shred 105 Lit ____ 106 Safari sight?

107 Singer DiFranco 108 Like a portrait that seems to be watching you 110 Winnower 113 … cooties from hugs and kisses?

121 Blender setting 122 … a salon woman I go to?

123 Tush 124 Set of anecdotes 125 A while, in hyperbole 126 Olympian with a bow 127 Jet similar to a 747 128 Benedictine title

42 Metaphorical low point 44 Physicist Nathan who postulated wormholes 47 Attempt at a dunk tank 51 Spiced teas 52 The White House’s ____ Room 53 Peeping Tom’s spot 54 Modern encyclopedia platform 55 Muses 57 Simon of the “Mission: Impossible” films 58 It circles the globe 63 Merino mother 64 Stethoscope’s place 65 War on Poverty agcy.

66 Main ingredient in queso relleno 68 Bite 69 Like candied apples 70 Gillette razor name DOWN 71 Liquor purchase 1 Chihuahua greeting 72 Ring around the collar?

2 Country singer Church 73 Chief Theban god 3**** 76 Hightailed it 4 Honeydew cousins 77 Peaceful protest 5 U.S. women’s soccer star Krieger 78 Apt anagram of SNAKE 6 Volume measure 82 Slip 7 Cause of boiling over 83 Quash 8 Sarge, e.g.

85 Peachy 9 Jet 86 Things zygotes come from 10 Stand up to 87 Pen point 11 Bit of safari equipment 88 Commission, e.g.

12 Enlightened Buddhist 89 “You’re stuck with me” 13 “Enough is enough!”

94 What stars do 14 “____ voce poco fa” (Rossini aria) 95 Hilton alternative 15 PIN point 97 Equilibrium 16 One having a ball?

98 Sancho Panza, e.g.

17 G.R.E. takers: Abbr.

100 About 3/4 of a football field 20 Ice-cream order 101 ____ Heep (Dickens villain) 22 Juniors, maybe 102 Like some sponsorship packages 25 Writer ____ Stanley Gardner 104 One taking a long shot?

27 1880s-’90s veep 108 Prefix with spore ____ P. Morton 109 “Slow Churned” brand 31 Step ____ 111 Antipasto pairing 32 Half of a Vegas show duo 112 Reason for a class struggle?

34 Shroud 113 TV inits. since 1975 35 ____ Drive (street where Harry Potter 114 Photographer’s asset grew up) 115 Certain fraternity chapter 36 Dweller along the Mandeb Strait 116 “Wowie!”

37 Bridge support 117 Musician’s asset 38 “As such …”

118 Lapel attachment 39 College-campus offering 119 Suffix with subsist 40 Like carpaccio or crudités 120 Never, in Nikolaus 41 Geisha’s accessory

1

2

3

4

18 23

6

7

8

9 20

24

26

31

38

33 40

50 57

51

58

41

42

52

53

68

69

91

87

99

101

108

T R I C I A

C O M E R

E C O N O

G A S P A T

A N T I F U R

112

106

109

110 118

126

K A R S T S

111

90 95

119

120

121

123

125

78

102

117

122

77

83

94

105

107 116

76

89

100

104

115

61

93

98

103

55

66

82

88

92

114

36

75

81 86

97

35

70

85

96

34

124 127

128

PREVIOUS PUZZLE ANSWERS E N C H A N T

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44

65

74 80

84

16

48 54

64

73

79

15

60

63 67

14

43 47

59

62

72

13

29

46

49

12 22

32 39

56

113

11

28

45

71

10

21 25

27 30

37

5

19

L O A M I M M A A G N E L E S A U N T D O R S I E S A M E T A S Y E R R L A C L I P A N T

E M P T O R

P A R T I I I

A T A T R A I O S M O E T I O N O T H A T

S O N R C O O T A G H A S T E N O A O N B E G S D O N I R A N H I G S W E G T Y R E A D T N N E O F F S A L E V E E E A R T M I S I L

F O N D L Y I P H O N E

S I R D U K E

M T V E A G A N

R E L P I O T

E A R M A S T C E A L N N A U S L Y A L R U M L I N A A O M E L O A N T E

J P E V G S I G L N O O S L E E E O D N W R A A R N D F O R

U R D U

D O E E Y P E O S S H M L I Y L N W E A I M T I N W I E C P A T R

D A M S E L S

M A T T E A

A M O U R

N E W T S

N E T T L E

G O H O M E

V27|NO23

THE EIGHT

BOX TOPS No love for Lonely Island’s “Popstar,” which couldn’t even break the top 5.

RANK TITLES

WEEKEND GROSS TOTAL GROSS WEEK # LAST WEEK

1

TMNT: OUT OF THE SHADOWS $35,316,382

$35,316,382

1

-

2

X-MEN: APOCALYPSE

$22,825,484

$116,998,716

2

1

3

ME BEFORE YOU

$18,723,269

$18,723,269

1

-

4

ALICE THROUGH...

$11,314,635

$51,396,232

2

2

5

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE

$10,214,076

$87,116,802

3

3

In Theaters June 10

HORROR

“The Conjuring 2,” rated R, starring Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Franka Potente. A sequel based on actual events that happened in the 1970s, this horror movie has an unusual pedigree in its stars and a creepy story about ghosts freaking out a single mother and her family who live in England. So creepy, in fact, that a priest visited the set to bless it on the first day of filming. That right there is a good sign, for the movie at least.

36 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

ACTION

“Now You See Me 2,” rated PG-13, starring Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Daniel Radcliffe. The Four Horsemen, a group of magicians who, in the first movie, outsmarted the FBI and became all the rage with the public, return with Daniel Radcliffe in tow. Even though he’s not the main character, we knew Harry Potter wouldn’t be able to stay away from magic for long.

ACTION

“Warcraft,” rated PG-13, starring Travis Fimmel, Paul Patton, Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper. Video game adaptations have an iffy record at the box office. Will this one, based on the incredibly complex World of Warcraft, draw people in who’ve never played it or become a niche “must see” for those who have already become obsessed with this universe?

9JUNE2016

V27|NO23

Trump Will Never Get the Benefit of the Doubt If you saw a grown man abruptly snatch up a two-week-old kitten by the nape of his neck and start dunking him vigorously in a swimming pool, while his “still nursing” mother frantically cried and howled in protest, how quickly would you react and how angry would you be?

Two women screamed at the top of their lungs, and another hurled a plastic cup full of slushy drink, right past my head, from about 20 feet away. Judging by the speed of the cup, and the splash it made when it hit the water, had the thing hit me in the face it could have broken some teeth or, at the very least, my nose.

Yep, that was me. I admit it. I snatched an adorable, tiny, nursing kitten straight off his Mama’s teat and, by the nape of his neck, gave him about a half dozen thrusts underwater that left the little guy coughing and hacking up pool water for the next five minutes.

Some of you people have always suspected that I was a cruel, heartless bastard, just waiting for the right opportunity to torment children, deface public property and torture small animals.

Now you have proof. Or so you thought.

That sunny afternoon years ago while on vacation with my wife, I was swimming around in an amazing resort pool with its own tiny island. There was a small bridge to the island, and apparently one of the resort’s resident cats had recently picked a shady spot in the palms to download a half dozen kittens. Cats do that sort of thing and, most of the time, they pick safe and secure places. But this time, the enemies may have been too tiny to spot. Mama Cat got too close to a potentially deadly hazard.

I saw the nursing mom from a distance and had no idea what was going on until I was right up on her. A trail of red ants from a crack in the concrete surface of the pool had made their way to the last kitten nursing at the bottom of the line, and they had covered him, probably three dozen strong. Either they had not started seriously stinging him yet, or they were bypassing his fur to get to the soft tissue in his ears, eyes and nose.

And they were closing in fast.

I did the only thing I knew to do without the benefit of a brush and a can of Raid in my hands and that was dunk the kitten in the pool water while knocking the ants off, as quickly as possible. I am very sensitive to ant stings, and as a result never waste time in getting as far away as I can from the pesky little devils with all alacrity.

I am sure I looked like a sadistic fiend from a distance, so I cannot blame the immediate rush to judgment that followed. Luckily within 30 seconds the mortified vacationers were close enough to hear my explanation and see the evidence of the narrowly averted cat-tas-trophy. (pun intended) I didn’t have to buy a drink for the rest of my vacation.

Fast forward to last week, where we find that fiend, that despicable, racist, misogynistic, GOP turd-in-the kiddie pool Donald Trump saying terrible things about the federal court judge presiding over his civil lawsuit where millions of dollars, and the success of his political campaign, could be at stake.

The judge in question is of Mexican heritage and, of course, Trump’s war against illegal immigration from Mexico is legendary.

In his comments, in typical Trump fashion, he buried a 16-ounce gold nugget of likely truth in five pounds of stinky horsecrap.

Here was what Trump said about the likelihood of federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel, a man whose parents were born Mexican citizens, being biased against him: “Whether born from experience or inherent physiological or cultural differences,” he said, for (judges) who are... non-white... their national origins may and will make a

38 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

difference in their judging.”

Damn, that was harsh. Eloquent, but harsh. What a terribly bigoted (not racist) thing to say about a judge!

Only one problem with the above quote. Trump didn’t say it. The original quote comes from Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, here it is reprinted in context, without adjustment to accommodate the misdirection above, from a May 2009 article in The New York Times: “Judge Sotomayor has given several speeches about the importance of diversity.

But her 2001 remarks at Berkeley, which were published by the Berkeley La Raza Law Journal, went further, asserting that judges’ identities will affect legal outcomes.

“Whether born from experience or inherent physiological or cultural differences,” she said, for jurists who are women and nonwhite, “our gender and national origins may and will make a difference in our judging.”

Her remarks came in the context of reflecting her own life experiences as a Hispanic female judge and on how the increasing diversity on the federal bench “will have an effect on the development of the law and on judging.”

That Justice Sotomayor better watch out, if she keeps rambling on like that she is bound to piss off Lindsey Graham!

So understand what we have here, a better articulated, but equally heavy indictment, arguing the judgment of minority judges being affected and changed based on personal perspective alone. From a Hispanic, female Supreme Court Justice, no less.

Just damn.

But hey, Trump is the devil.

Make a list of the minority defendants whose attorneys have argued racial bias against white judges, white prosecutors, white juries, white police, white customs and white laws over the last 50 years. You can’t do it, or at least you couldn’t print up the list once you did. It is too long. Not enough white paper in the world to accommodate the task.

Trump raised the concern going the other direction, and the mainstream press (Hell, even his own GOP cohorts) is ready to throw him under the bus 100 times over because he did.

Come to find out Judge Curiel does have some interesting political ties, including membership with the very LaRaz legal group that is working to legitimize the status of illegal aliens (criminals) already in America and loosen existing immigration regulations for others who want to come. From what I have seen and read there is no way a man with the same political and legal agenda shared by LaRaz should be presiding over a case involving Donald Trump. No way.

Was Trump clumsy when he said a “Mexican” couldn’t give him a fair trial? Yep. Was Trump right to be concerned about this specific judge? You damn skippy.

A few weeks ago I gave you a primer in the duplicity of the media and their obsession with defeating conservatives in general and, for this election, Trump in particular. Here we have more evidence that the living history is part of a continuing education, with a final exam yet to come. ausTIn rHoDEs A long-time radio talk show host who can be heard weekdays on WGAC from 3-6 p.m. The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

9JUNE2016

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