Metro Spirit - 04.07.16 by Metro Spirit

Table of Contents

EDIT

April 7, 2016

Amy Christian

Arts Editor/Production Director

amy@themetrospirit.com

Golfers Gone Wild! 10 Welcome to Augusta! 18 Calendar 30

Stacey Eidson Staff Writer

stacey@themetrospirit.com

Molly Swift Staff Writer

Nightlife 38

molly@themetrospirit.com

Sightings 40 NYT Crossword 42 Austin Rhodes 44

CREATIVE Joshua Bailey Lead Designer

joshua@themetrospirit.com

COVER DESIGN: Joshua Bailey

SALES Gayle Bryan

Senior Account Executive

gayle@themetrospirit.com 706-373-4846

Jim Christian Account Executive

jim@themetrospirit.com 706-414-4059

BOOZE! STRIPPERS! DEBAUCHERY! HELIUM! ILLUMINATI! DISORDERLY CONDUCT! FALSE IDOLS! ANYTHING BUT GOLF!

Bonnie Sloane

All Frog Hollow Hospitality Group photos, including Craft & Vine, Farmhaus and those used in the group’s insert in the March 31 issue, courtesy Lauren Carnes Photography.

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Account Executive

bonnie@themetrospirit.com 770-401-9357

BUSINESS Joe White Publisher

joe@themetrospirit.com 706-373-3636

THIS WEEK

Johnny Beckworth circulation manager

johnny@themetrospirit.com Contributors Jenny Wright, Greg Baker, Austin Rhodes, Josh Ruffin, Kris Fisher, Michael Johnson Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit. com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? Call or email Joe at 706.373.3636 joe@themetrospirit.com

Something in the air made me uneasy. Something had changed. Scores of golf carts had appeared mysteriously and all at once, like crop circles announcing an alien invasion. I squinted through the green dust that caked my windshield. The wipers only made things worse...

Welcome to Augusta! This town loves visitors and we also love letting you in on the best-kept secrets of our fair city. On the lookout for some great places to eat, drink and relax? Look no further!

If there is a such thing as the greatest lost opportunity in the history of the Augusta National Golf Club, you would be hard pressed to move beyond “the swing and the miss” that was the 1996 Summer Olympics.

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Golfers Gone Wild Booze! Strippers! Cigars! Debauchery! Helium! Traffic! Illuminati! Disorderly Conduct! False idols! Anything but golf!

By Corey Pein

Editor’s Note: This Hunter S. Thompson-esque feature was originally published on April 11, 2007, and was written by former Metro Spirit reporter Corey Pein. Pein abandoned the Metro Spirit some years back to write for the Willamette Week in Portland, Oregon, and hasn’t been heard from since. No surprise there, since Pein, more often than not sporting Mercedes Benz-logo shorts (worn ironically, of course), was always pissing someone off. Nonetheless, this story of a bit of Masters Week tomfoolery — henceforth referred to as the ultimate exercise in futility — is worth revisiting, if for nothing else than to play a game of “spot what no longer exists in Augusta.” Enjoy! DepenDinG on Who you askeD, it was happy hour at Vegas Showgirls. Ten dollar cover, paid at the bar. Microbrews? No. PBR? No. The bartender brought me a Budweiser. “That’ll be $6.50,” she said. I tipped her $1. Five polo shirts filled with thirtysomething men walked out single file, keeping their heads low in shame. It was a quarter to five. The course was still open, but they came here instead. Golfers gone wild, sort of. Golfers gone mild. The glass door closed behind them, and it was just me and another guy in the club. Then he left, and it was just me and the girls. They looked bored. A young woman from South Carolina was more enthusiastic. She’d already given herself one fake name, but I’ll give her another — Destiny. She was a student, she said, barely old enough to drink. It was her first time working Masters. “Oh! Fresh meat,” she said, pinching my nipple. “Has it been busy here?” I asked. “No, not really. Thursday and Friday it will get busy. Hopefully.” Too late for my deadline. So much for that plan. A sandy blonde in a pink thong took the stage. Awful hair metal played over the jukebox. “I love this song!” the dancer said. She bent over, shook a little bit, stood up and yawned. I gave her $1. “That’s a start!” Destiny said. “You didn’t just come in here for a beer. I hope.” She winked. “Kind of,” I said. Destiny held open her thong, and I slipped her $1. For her textbooks. 10 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Quickest $19.50 ever spent. I forgot to get a receipt. The blonde descended, and another young lady began her lazy routine. “Woo hoo. Masters Week,” she said, full of apathy. “Are you ready to party?” I downed the beer quickly. I was not ready to party. I only wanted to reflect. Though it was only Wednesday, the week was over for me. So much work. “You work too hard and you get stiff,” Destiny said. “Relax.” She had a point. Success? Failure? What was the difference? Plans were made to fall apart. Mine had. Saturday. Practice rounds would not begin for two days, but I wanted to get a head start. Preparation was crucial. Lassitude was unforgivable. Mistakes, even minor ones, would be severely punished. Something in the air made me uneasy. Something had changed. Scores of golf carts had appeared mysteriously and all at once, like crop circles announcing an alien invasion. I squinted through the green dust that caked my windshield. The wipers only made things worse. A scrunched old woman, eyes masked by a visor, hobbled down the narrow strip of grass that fronts the road outside the Augusta National Golf Club. Traffic sped past. Washington Road had been ceded to an army of reckless drivers — even more than usual — with too much money and little inclination to yield. One day they, too, would hobble. The Hooters lot was full. A man with wraparound sunglasses leaned out the window of his 7APRIL2016

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shiny, late-model sedan and hocked a loogie on the asphalt. Welcome to Augusta! Make yourself at home! At Publix, the beer had moved up front. The Official Masters Program ($9!) was prominently displayed. Ladies with painted lips and dye jobs wandered the aisles, most without shopping carts. They dressed like they just came from church. A big bearded man in a muumuu-style T-shirt and tattered gray shorts blocked an aisle in the produce section. He wore one black sandal and one white sneaker. He held forth to a white-haired lady about “some kind of blight.” She smiled politely and backed away toward the lettuce. Was he drunk already, or just crazy? Tourist or local? Which combination would be worse? I took my groceries home. Tofu, Spam, Corona. Enough for the weekend. Broad Street was busy. A skater kid walked by wearing a shirt that said “Girls Gone Wild Film Crew.” Local. A loudly chattering group of men sporting polo shirts and cropped hair stumbled into the restaurant where I was having lunch. Tourists. All I could pick out of their conversation, as such, was a single word: “Golf, golf, golf, golf.” I shuffled the newspaper. The outside world was full of pestilence and terror, but mercifully free of “duffers” and their ilk. No, they had all come here. Dark clouds swelled in the afternoon sky. This is promising, I thought. Pray for rain. A good five-day thunderstorm would provide a plausible, face-saving excuse. Oh, how I wanted out. But I was locked into The Plan, trapped like a National Guardsman under a stop-loss order. Days earlier, my friend The Huckster texted me about a plane crash at the Cabbage Patch. “It’s got your fingerprints all over it,” he wrote. Was the sonofabitch blackmailing me? Remember, be cool. The pollen made it hard 7APRIL2016

for police to get good fingerprints. I heard it on NPR. Still, extortion wasn’t beyond him. He was unpredictable. Unbalanced. “You know what’s wrong with society?” he said at dinner. “We don’t eat each other... We eat cows.” This man wears a tie to work. He has everyone fooled. Not me. The Huckster’s veiled threat made me realize that I should’ve kept my mouth shut about the Plan. Instead, I’d blabbed myself into a corner. Expectations had risen. It seemed like everyone knew, even people I hadn’t seen in weeks. I was stunned when a Tournament enthusiast I know greeted me by begging: “Please don’t do it. They’ll shoot you.” Yes, well... That was not out of the question. People had been shot on the National’s turf before, and for less dramatic offenses. Granted, it wasn’t 1976, and I wasn’t one of three black boys gone fishing in Rae’s Creek, but I was planning to pilot a three-foot remote-controlled blimp over the course during Masters Week. Why? I’m not sure. I’ve had a life-long fascination with dirigibles. I do know when I realized I had to launch a model blimp over the Masters. It was last fall, when I watched one soaring with buoyant majesty over the crowd at an Augusta Lynx game. It was awesome. Inspiring. An unauthorized blimp was just the thing to inject some youthful exuberance into what remains a staid pastime for rich old men, and people who aspire to be rich old men. Including Tiger. As a bonus, it would startle the bourgeoisie. “Tradition” was their mantra. What I proposed was something new. At least, different. Why not? It’s only a “non-PGA Tour co-sponsored event,” anyway. And they denied press credentials to the Metro Spirit, again.

For weeks, I did my homework. I plotted possible flight plans and compared the technical specifications of various models. I did everything but commission a feasibility study. In the end, I chose the Megatech Party Blimp because it could be “emblazoned with a personalized message” and was only $100. I also researched FAA regulations to make sure I couldn’t be tried as a terrorist under the USA Patriot Act. Turns out the sky is the exclusive domain of the United States government, and thus, the people. Socialism is alive and well in the third dimension. The National may be able to buy all the land in Augusta and turn it into private parking, but they don’t own the air. “Do you think a Richmond County deputy knows that?” a colleague asked. All this negativity. But then, I thought, “What would our President do?” Why, he wouldn’t listen to anyone. I was somewhat reassured when an executive from Portico Publications, the company that owns the Metro Spirit, promised to bail me out. Stay the course. Saturday afternoon. In the picture on the box, the grey blimp looked large and imposing, like some terrible Helium God. There were laser beams shooting from the gondola. Perfect. I imagined a “Close Encounters”-style spectacle over the Ninth Hole, the crowd hobbling toward the gates in confusion as the zeppelin’s built-in speakers played “Hail to the Chief.” After opening the box, I discovered that this was an unlikely scenario. On the upside, batteries were included. I spread the empty balloon out on the floor and went to work with a permanent marker and stencils (also included). When I finished, the blimp said “METRO SPIRIT.” No need to get philosophical. I felt pleased with the typography. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989 METROSPIRIT 11

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The party shop at Daniel Village supplied the helium, no questions asked. It was slightly underinflated, but I wasn’t in a position to complain. I wedged the blimp in the back seat so it wouldn’t float up and block my rear view. If there were going to be any flashing lights back there, I needed to know immediately. Legal concerns led me to revise The Plan. I drove to some friends’ house — I’ll call them Joanie and Chachi — hoping to conscript The Kid. I figured that if a minor did the actual piloting, he probably wouldn’t get taken to jail. Even if he did, the charges (Disorderly Conduct? Disrupting a Televised Event?) would be expunged from his record when he turned 18. That meant only eight years in juvie, tops. So that was the Revised Plan. Get The Kid to do it. (Contributing to the Deprivation of a Minor?) At the least, I could trick him into helping me assemble the thing. The Kid was disappointed. He thought I would descend on their home in a full-size blimp, like Goodyear’s. He helped assemble the model anyway. The work went smoothly until it came time to attach the gondola. “It’s upside down!” said Joanie. She cackled at my misfortune. I’d forgotten to check which way was up, and the “personalized message” looked like dyslexic Latin: TIRIdS ORTEW. Hopefully this was not an omen. We walked to nearby schoolyard to conduct a test flight. It was empty except for us, the dog and a pair of teen girls (locals) taking lascivious pictures of each other spread-eagled on the jungle gym. For MySpace? Truly, the girls gone wild. It was windy. The blimp did not perform well. Slight gusts would send it flapping wildly through the air, heedless of the remote control’s imperatives. The fish-line tether kept getting tangled in the gondola’s

propellers and wrapped around the dog’s legs. The advertised range of 300 feet seemed optimistic at best. The signal gave out after about 20 yards. I tried vainly to steer the blimp up, up, up, but the wind always pushed it fiercely into the sand. Chachi and The Kid tried, and did no better. The blimp bounced off a brick column and went belly up. METRO SPIRIT. It flapped against the ground. TIRIdS ORTEW. “I don’t think this is gonna make it over the National,” said Chachi. I was forced to agree. It probably wouldn’t even clear the hedges. We took the blimp back indoors, where Joanie opened the instruction manual. “It says ‘for indoor use only,’” she said. “Where was it made?” I asked. “China?” Piece of junk. This is what happens when you do things on the cheap. The Chinese were ruining my Plan. Sunday was a day of rest and contemplation. Sipping a Corona on the couch, I had an epiphany. Plan B was so shrewd, so expedient, so 2007, that it could’ve come from a Pentagon think tank. It was a way out — an exit strategy. Sacrifice the mass. Preserve the core. I could remove the gondola — the valuable part, with the propellers — and let the balloon sail freely with the wind. The controls didn’t work anyway. It was the message that mattered. And this way, either side could be “up.” Plan B’s brilliant simplicity lifted my anxiety. I had lunch with The Huckster at a pizza place down the street from my apartment. On the sidewalk, I passed a gang of khaki-shorted frat boys. Golf golf golf. They were standing in a circle, taking

turns punching each other in the stomach. Hwoof! “Suck it up!” Hwoof! Where did these people come from? True to form, The Huckster had ordered food before his guest arrived. But he did save me a seat at the tiny table. Polo shirts filled the booths. The Huckster said he knew someone who’d pilot the blimp and take the fall for $200. I said I didn’t have that kind of money, and filled him in on Plan B. “That’s the wussy way to do it,” he said. “What you’ve got then is a $100 balloon.” The Huckster had a point, maybe, but he lacked the technical knowledge I’d gained during the test flight. To those in the know, it was obvious that Plan B was the only way forward. No other conclusion was possible. “We should keep our voices down here,” I said. The Huckster surveyed the pizza parlor and agreed. “This place is probably filled with Illuminati,” he said. “Golf Illuminati.” Monday. Work work work. Golf golf golf. In the morning, there was BREAKING NEWS from The Augusta Chronicle Web site: “Traffic heavy on Washington Road.” That’s why VIPs insist on a blimp. I bet Warren Buffett has at least two. Guilted by The Huckster, I made a final, halfhearted effort to salvage the Original Plan. Customer service put me on hold. “Hello,” I said when a woman answered. “I’m calling for some help with the Megatech Party Blimp I recently purchased.” “Yeah,” she said, bored. “Is there any way I can boost the range?” “Boost the range?” The idea startled her out of her daze. “I’m not sure. Hold on.” There was silence on the line. Then the woman’s voice came on again. “There’s no way you can up the range,” she said. “Is there any way to get it to perform better outdoors?” I asked. “Yeah, you really can’t,” she said. “All of our items, if its windy, they’re not gonna work.”

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They should put that on the box, then. “Who is the manufacturer?” I demanded. “We are the manufacturer,” she said. “Oh. Up there in New Jersey?” “Yeah.” So much for buying American. At a quarter to five, Austin Rhodes called the office to tell us a CBS News employee had been arrested for robbing a bank on Gordon Highway. S**t. How could I top that? Late that night, Joanie and Chachi warned me that a neighbor had asked them what was up with the blimp. How many had seen? How many knew? Tuesday. A maintenance guy carrying a stepladder stopped me in the stairwell. “Which apartment do you live in?” he asked. I told him. “I just changed your air filter,” he said. Then he had seen! The man had an unfamiliar face. Who did he work for, really? I hurried upstairs. Nothing seemed out of place. The blimp was still anchored in the corner, bobbing slightly closer to the floor. It was time to prepare for Plan B. I carefully peeled the gondola from the balloon. The adhesive was strong, but by working slowly, it came off without incident. What about the fins? They should probably go, too. Per the instruction manual, they’d been attached with Scotch tape. I tried to peel off the top fin. It didn’t budge. I applied a little more force. The tape held but the fin tore. Damnit. I jerked a little harder. Then I heard a steady hissing sound. The blimp was leaking fast. Reflexively, I clutched it tight, forcing out more helium. S**t! Don’t panic. Think. I twisted the balloon like a garbage bag and, with a handy length of twine, tied off the hole. OK. Relax. Breathe. But not too deep — the helium. 7APRIL2016

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Holding fast to the tether, I stared numbly at the flaccid dirigible. There was still some gas in it. Some hwoof. It could soar yet. Stay the course. I carried the blimp downstairs. The bearded guy from across the hall was climbing up. “What’re you doing with that?” he said. Nothing, nothing… In the parking lot, a woman stared at the blimp, then at me, then at the ground. No, nothing at all… Hold tight to that twine. I opened the trunk of my car. Inside was a roll of clear packing tape and a box cutter. Fumbling with my one free hand, I eventually managed to cut off a piece of tape. Of course, it got twisted together. Somehow — by the Helium God’s grace — I got it unstuck, then mashed it over the hole. That would have to do. I stuffed the blimp in the trunk and slammed the lid. The truth began to sink in: I could blame no one else. The Plan had always been dubious. The execution was botched. It was a project born in Augusta. I slumped on the couch. “You look so depressed,” Joanie said. “My whole Plan is falling apart,” I said. “First the blimp didn’t work outdoors, then I tore a hole in it.” “Don’t forget,” Chachi said, “you made it upside down.” Joanie still had faith. “You need pocket helium,” she suggested. “You could pretend like you’re a pregnant woman.” TV had Masters Highlights. Tiger Woods was talking about how he knew he’d made it when he finally conquered that “elitist” club. We can’t all be winners, I thought. It was nice outside. “I just wanna take a nap,” I said. “This place does that to you,” Joanie said. I went for a drive instead. 7APRIL2016

Finally, I understood what it was all about. The Masters is a traffic jam. Last motorist to lose his mind wins. The invasion had arrived. Berckmans Road was an endless stream of cars cars cars, stuffed knick-knack bags and swollen pink faces. Gas fumes and human sweat. NEED TICKETS! PARKING $20 CIGARS HOOTERS Where was the golf? Behind those verdant walls. The club took care of its own. Everyone else could sweat to death in gridlock. All the more money for ExxonMobil, Official Tournament Sponsor. So much security. Why was this cop waving at me? Did he mean “keep going,” or “open your trunk?” God forbid. What would he say when he saw the blimp? It wasn’t tied down. What if it flew up and hit him in the face? Hwoof! Assaulting a Law Enforcement Officer with an Unsecured Model Aircraft. A felony. OK, he meant “keep going.” But watch out for the people walking in the road. Don’t drive too carefully, or you’ll look suspicious. Took the left onto Washington. Big mistake. How would I turn around? It wasn’t possible to change direction, or even to stop. Every square foot of ground was occupied. West Augusta was the world’s largest usedcar lot. Pickup, Porsche, SUV. I wanted to shower. I wanted to go back downtown, where it was safe. Traffic was better going down. A transvestite strolled up 7th Street. S/he wore pumps, big hoop earrings and a lot of rouge. Cars lined up outside the strip clubs nearby. A sign: “Welcome Golf Fans!” A man chomped a cigar. I finally washed the pollen from my windshield.

clipped to his collar sidled up to me. “I’ve been expecting this rain,” he announced. Me too. I had prayed for it. “Yep,” I said. Thinking our conversation was over, I started to get into my car. The man stopped me. “Say,” he said. “Do you think you could help a guy get a ride up Washington Road?” The popping sensation in my brain may have been a minor aneurysm. Did he actually think I was going to chauffer him to the Augusta National? Just how far did our hospitality extend? “I’m going to work,” I said. “No, no. I meant could you spare some change. For the bus. I’m trying to get to the course.” For a moment, all I could do was stare. “Sorry,” I said. “Just a little change,” he insisted. “Sorry, man.” “For the bus.”

“Sorry.” He scowled, turned away, and limped slowly in the direction of the National. Guy must’ve had a rough night. But my sympathies extended only so far. Portico executives were in the office. They didn’t know about the hole in the blimp. Expectations were high. I kept my head down. Before lunchtime, Joanie sent me a text: “What time are you going to do the balloon launch”? Balloon, she said. What had happened to the zeppelin? “Not sure yet,” I replied. “The Plan is in tatters. I’m under a lot of pressure.” The Par 3 Contest would begin at 1 p.m. The forecast showed winds moving west at 10-15 m.p.h. My west-to-east flight plan was now out of the question. I needed to devise a Plan C. Or was it D? Instead, I took a long lunch with coworkers. The food was good. “It’s naptime,” I said.

Wednesday. Windshield already crusty. Light rain. Outside the coffee shop, a balding, middle-aged man with a Masters badge AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Everyone agreed. Just before we got the check, the Mayor of Augusta, Deke Copenhaver, walked in and ordered a massive plate of sushi. A colleague told him I had “big plans” for Masters. I glared at her, but she just laughed. “It’s nothing,” I explained. Nothing at all… The sky had cleared. My prayers were de-answered. I’d driven around Lake Olmstead and somehow, miraculously, made it across Washington Road. Given the wind, Vineland Road, which runs along the National’s eastern border, seemed the best place to release the blimp. An on-site inspection revealed a problem: too many trees. The blimp would surely be ensnared. The traditionalists had thought of everything. It took about 10 minutes to merge onto Washington Road. I drove around aimlessly and got lost. Joanie called. “Are you listening to Austin Rhodes?” she said. “No,” I said. I was listening to a discussion about sleep apnea on NPR. “He’s talking about how there’s no ban on aircraft over the Masters,” she said. “Yeah, I knew that. It’s a myth.” “He says there have been renegade blimps before and it’s no big deal. I thought he was talking about it because you’d let it go already.” “That bastard. He’s trying to undermine me. Who told him?” I said. “Nevermind, I know how he found out.” The maintenance guy must’ve bugged my apartment. I’d gotten turned around again. Gardner Street somehow turned into Fitten. Small houses and old cars. I studied the map. It seemed I was actually close to the course. Montgomery Street became a gated dirt road that ran about 100 yards to the north, and ended against a row of trees and a rusty chain-link fence. That must be it. A few people were in the streets, but they didn’t look like cops. More likely, they thought I was a cop. I hopped the gate and followed the dirt path to the tree line. I heard the 16 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

unmistakable “tink!” of putter on ball. I moved closer. But not too close — the ground was covered in some menacing vegetation that looked sure to leave an itchy rash. I was wearing flip-flops. More poor planning. Peering through the foliage, I could finally see them: golfers, maybe three of them, actually playing the game. (Sport? Game.) They wore bright yellow shirts and gleaming white caps. It could very well be Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods. There was even a golf cart, rolling toward me over the grass. Could they see me? Probably, if I could see them. I crept away. It would have to be now. I looked at the blimp one last time. Actually, it was now

more of a half-inflated $100 balloon trailing a five-foot length of twine. It still said TIRIdS ORTEW, but it was very hard to read, with the reflection from the sunlight. As the wrinkled gray mass drifted up and away, in the general direction of Augusta Regional Airport, I felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment. My schemes had failed, but maybe there was a greater Plan at work. Maybe this was Destiny. I returned to my car. Looking at the map again, I realized that I had been peering into the Augusta Country Club, not the Augusta National. Oh well. What was the difference?

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Welcome to AugustA! As residents of any good southern town, we love visitors. Even more, we love letting guests in on the secrets of our town. So if you’ve just arrived and are on the lookout for some great places to eat, drink and relax, look no further. From coffee to cocktails, breakfast to late-night noshing, this list has everything you need.

the bee’s Knees

Abel broWn

Chef Todd Schafer upset everyone in Augusta, and Masters guests from around the world, when he shuttered Bistro 491, an institution when it came to fine dining in Augusta. Lightning usually doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but it has for Schafer. His Abel Brown, a take on modern southern cuisine and oyster bars, is a revelation from start to finish. Getting a table here during the week will be iffy, but if you can squeeze in at the bar, do it. Whatever else you decide on (and it’s all good), be sure to try the broiled oysters with roasted jalapeno lime butter. Call 706-738-6491 or visit abelbrownaugusta.com

bAr West mArtini lounge

If you’re longing to get away from the crowds at all the usual Masters Week hot spots, give Bar West a try. This low-key lounge focuses on specialty drinks like their Spicy Dirty Martini with a Bloody Mary kick. They have a fantastic drink menus, great happy hour specials (2 for 1 house wines and well drinks) and plenty of comfortable seating indoors and out. Call 706-736-0021 or visit barwestaugusta.com

Locals and visitors alike have loved the Bee’s Knees ever since it opened almost 14 years ago, and there’s plenty of reasons why. Their small plates menu has given guests favorites like the Avocado Chop Chop and the Buffalo Tempeh, and their large plate meals are still shareable, although we’ve yet to encounter someone willing to give up a bite of their coconut curry panang. Whether sitting at an outside table enjoying their famous sangria one evening or indulging in weekend brunch or Happy Sunday drink specials, you’ll want to visit downtown’s original upscale eatery. Call 706-828-3600 or visit beeskneestapas.com

the boll Weevil big DADDy’s bAr & grill

Big Daddy’s specializes in barbecue, but they offer a little bit of everything. Salads, chicken wings, burgers, steaks and seafood — they’re all present and accounted for at Big Daddy’s. We’ll stick with the Triple Combo BBQ Platter: a half-rack of ribs with pulled pork and chicken and served with hash and rice and a side. And even if we don’t finish it we’ll be sure to save room for some homemade peach cobbler. Call 706-869-2388 or visit bigdaddysaugusta.com

18 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

birD Dog grille Columbia County’s Bird Dog Grille offers two things: great food and live music. Neither disappoints. The outside patio is the place to be on Friday and Saturday nights for live music and Bird Dog offers trivia on Thursdays. As for the food? Well, their fried pickles are legendary in this area, and you can’t go wrong with the Peri Peri Chicken Bowl, one of their many sandwiches or a salad. Call 706-814-5007 or visit birddoggrille.com

Yes, this is a restaurant named after a bug. But once you get a look at the dessert case at the Boll Weevil, you won’t think twice about its odd name. Locals often visit this landmark just for a gargantuan slice of one of their insanely good cakes, and the 7th Heaven — chocolate cake with layers of buttercream icing, white chocolate cheesecake and chocolate ganache — is a particular favorite. Other items to try? A Curious George sandwich, any of their soups and Apple Blossoms a la mode for dessert. Call 706-722-7772 or visit thebollweevil.com

buonA cAffe Freshly roasted in-house, coffee is the prime attraction at this cheerful and welcoming café on Central. But Buona also offers fabulous teas, pastries, sweet treats, sandwiches and even its own Happily Caffeinated swag. Go for the delicious pimiento cheese and bacon panini, and a cup or two of the best coffee in town. Call 706-869-4074 or visit buonacaffe.com 7APRIL2016

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Cadwallader’s Self-described “white tablecloth restaurant with a casual atmosphere,” Cadwallader’s is the epitome of a grand night out, replete with stellar service and a wine selection that will meet the needs of any oenophile. The restaurant takes pride in serving fresh, local ingredients and inspired dishes that go beyond typical Augusta fare, including veal, pheasant and bison strip loin steak. Call ahead for reservations. Call 706-860-7444 or visit cadwalladerscafe.com

Craft & viNe

Calvert’s Calvert’s is the epitome of fine dining in Augusta, and an institution where many of the city’s chefs have gotten their start. Open 38 years, most locals keep Calvert’s sacred by only visiting on special occasions. This quietly elegant spot will liven up considerably this week with an influx of visitors eager to once again taste the traditional continental cuisine Calvert’s offers. Pray they can fit you in if you haven’t already made reservations. Call 706-738-4514 or visit calvertsrestaurant.com

CottoN PatCh Grab lunch or dinner and catch some live blues and jazz at this New Orleans inspired restaurant. The menu features American classics and southern favorites, such as the halfpound Angus beef Murder Burgers, Po Boys and Fried Green Tomatoes. Not hungry? Go for the drinks — Old School Thursday Cigars and Scotch nights is always a favorite. Call 706-724-4511 or visit cottonpatchaugusta.com

Chef Sean Wight added Craft & Vine to his Frog Hollow Hospitality Group two years ago, unsure if Augusta was ready for a Prohibition-era themed cocktail bar that served upscale food. Turns out, the city and its visitors have embraced the knowledgeable bartenders and impressive menu. Could it be because it’s one of the few places downtown where you can indulge in a little late-night noshing with your drinks? It probably has something to do with it. Call 706-496-8442 or visit craftandvine.com

diablo’s southwest Grill de Novo You may have to use your GPS to get to North Augusta’s De Novo, but once you find Chef Jeremy Collins’ pretty little restaurant you’ll want to return again and again and again. Collins’ take on modern southern cuisine using local and seasonal ingredients is available at lunch and dinner as well as Sunday brunch. Everything here is lovingly presented and tastes fantastic. Try the slow-cooked pork shoulder and don’t forget dessert! Call 803-426-1077 or visit eatatdenovo.com 7APRIL2016

It’s only been open for three years, but Diablo’s has become so popular that the owners have opened two more and have several more locations coming soon. Diablo’s is a locally owned take on the concept Moe’s made famous: customers pick items like burritos, tacos, bowls, salads quesadillas or nachos and then choose what they want in it. Whatever kind of meat and beans you choose, we suggest you get the cilantro lime rice, the corn salsa and the spicy sour cream to go along with it. Call 706-364-2259 (Wheeler Road), 706-496-7837 (Walton Way) or 803-226-0232 (Aiken), or visit diablossouthwestgrill.com

diChiCko’s Head up Washington Road and run into DiChicko’s Peri Peri Café to try one of their many insanely tasty sandwiches, aka “flaps.” For the health-conscious, DiChicko’s is an ideal destination, and yet utterly sinful at the same time — check out the menu and it’s clear this place is all about packing flavor into organic, natural food. Everything is delicious, but the Johannesburg and a Sunset Strip are all you need in your life. Call 706-738-1011 or visit dichickoscafe.com

dr. uNk’s dive bar Newly open near the Augusta Common downtown, Dr. Unk’s is the perfect place to pregame before all the events at the Common this week. Open six days a week from 4 p.m. until, this is a great place to party because they specialize in $3 Fireball, Jaeger and Cuervo shots every day, and serve Fat Tuesday frozen daiquiris. Yum! Call 706-426-7071 or visit facebook. com/drunks.divebar/ AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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eli’s aMerican Grille edGar’s Grille The motto at Edgar’s Grille is “come hungry, leave fulfilled” and diners will do just that. Not only is the new American cuisine they offer delicious and served in an upscale and serene atmosphere, a portion of the restaurant’s proceeds support Goodwill and Helms College. In fact, the restaurant is named after Edgar Helms, founder of Goodwill. Call 706-854-4700 or visit edgarsgrille.com

The New Orleans vibe that Bryan Mitchell cultivated at his former restaurant, the Cotton Patch, is alive and well at Eli’s American Grille, his new dining spot in Columbia County. It may be new, but the shrimp and pimento cheese grits is already a menu favorite, as is the deep-fried southern pecan pie with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce. If you can resist those two, try a burger. The Dixie Burger, with fried green tomatoes, pimento cheese and buffalo cream sauce, is especially good. Call 706-524-7152 or visit elisamerican.com

FarMhaus BurGer Farmhaus is a counter-service burger and milkshake spot, but it’s so much more than that. Since opening in 2012, there’s almost always a (quickly moving) line and Chef Sean Wight is set to open a Columbia County outpost of the restaurant in May. The Haus Burgers, especially the Farmstyle with bacon and a sunny side up egg, are enormously popular, but we suggest you build your own. Better yet, check the special board for the burger of the month. And don’t forget a boozy shake or craft cocktail to complete your meal. Call 706-496-8771 or visit farmhausburger.com

Fat Man’s Mill caFe Fat Man’s has been in the Usry family since the 1940s and has been a lunch tradition for Augustans pretty much ever since. Miss Pearl is still serving up her famous real meals, but sandwiches, soups, salads and specials, or “speshuls” as they call them, are also available. And how about this as a bonus: you can eat out by the canal or take a stroll afterwards.

Call 706-733-1740 or visit fatmans.com

Fuse Finch & FiFth Finch & Fifth aims to serve creative dishes and craft cocktails in a laid-back environment, and they’ve earned a reputation as a neighborhood hangout on the strength of both their food and drinks. Serving lunch, dinner and Sunday brunch, this Surrey Center spot is known for its charcuterie and cheese plates, boiled peanut hummus and its Brussels sprouts slaw. Try anything you order with a Gin Jitszu (their take on a gin and tonic) and you can’t go wrong.

Call 706-364-5300 or visit finchandfifth.com 20 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

French Market Grille Whether or not you live in Augusta, everybody knows French Market Grille. Right in the center (well, almost) of the Masters Week action, this is the place to see and be seen. Don’t forget to eat while you’re schmoozing. The food here is too good to miss. The barbecue shrimp is a super spicy favorite and they make a mean Bloody Mary.

Call 706-737-4865 or visit thefrenchmarketgrille.com

FroG hollow tavern Chef Sean Wight began his downtown takeover with Frog Hollow Tavern, a finedining restaurant that’s sure to be packed this Masters Week. The upscale spot relies on local products as much as they can, changes its menu almost daily and barrel ages cocktails to give its guests and experience they won’t soon forget.

Call 706-364-6906 or visit froghollowtavern.com

Fuse describes itself as a restaurant and beer bar and kindly asks customers to “refuse boring food and bad booze.” With this in mind, head chef Eric Draper turns out interesting dishes for late lunch, dinner and weekend brunch. We recommend the pintxos, a Spanish bar snack that comes in several varieties, and the lamb burger. Whatever you choose to eat, be sure to peruse the bar menus as well. Fuse takes great pride in their beer selection and offers inventive cocktails. Call 706-305-1029 or visit fuse-augusta.com 7APRIL2016

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hiGhlander, a British PuB Gravity Growlers Why go with a growler? Because beer from a tap tastes better than beer from a bottle and, at Gravity Growlers, you can choose from 25 different beers and ciders on tap, which they will then pour in a glass container and seal it so you can take it home. Right now they have several wheat beers and a lemon cider on tap, perfect for the mild spring weather we’re currently enjoying.

Call 706-364-2695 or visit gravitygrowlers.com

helGa’s PuB & Grill Don’t go to Helga’s expecting fancy or upscale. Do go to Helga’s if you want to drink some great beer, meet some interesting people and test your wits in a game of trivia. And don’t forget to eat, although with the menu items written on construction paper and taped to the walls behind the bar, we don’t think you’ll be able to. Call 706-736-2880 or visit helgaspubandgrill.com

Just over the 13th Street bridge in North Augusta sits one of rowdiest watering holes in the area. In addition to late-night shenanigans and outrageous Butt Naked Trivia on Thursdays nights, The Highlander also offers some of the best British fare around. We haven’t tried the drunk sausage (bratwurst soaked in stout beer and bourbon for 36 hours before being cooked and served on a bun), but their Scotch Egg and Shepherd’s Pie are to die for. Call 803-278-2796 or visit pubhighlander.net

the hive Growler Bar The food is great at Hive, that’s a given. But what Eric and Kristi Kinlaw have done for craft beer in Augusta is other-worldly. They strive to bring beers you just can’t find without traveling. Regional and limited-release offerings dominate their extensive menu, so you’ll always surprised when you stop in. Our current favorite is the Orpheus Transmigration of Souls double IPA. It’s big beer to say the least, at 10 percent ABV, but it’s also eminently drinkable with layers of hops and tropical citrus notes. Call 706-836-3661 or visit hivegrowlerbar.com

humanitree house Juice Joint and art Gallery

Fresh, cold-pressed juices are made daily in this very cool juice joint and gallery. Also available — an all-vegan lunch menu and handmade smoothies. Humanitree is on a mission to spread the health benefits of vegan foods and to keep downtown warm and welcoming. The juice and smoothie options are vast, but you can’t go wrong asking for a Chocolate Goddess and veggie burger. Check out the art, mostly from co-owner Baruti Tucker, while you wait and get there early; they close at 1:30 p.m. this week, although they’ll be open till 3 p.m. on Saturday. Call 706-364-2518 or visit humanitreehouse.com

7APRIL2016

KnucKle sandwiches Joe’s underGround

the indian Queen Since opening in a former gun store at the corner of Monte Sano and Wrightsboro roads, The Indian Queen has become the place to hang out on the Hill. Specializing in classic cocktails featuring house-made syrups and juices, this is a great place to have a nice drink and settle in for a conversation with a friend or two. Call 706-303-8723 or visit theindianqueen.com

Located 13 steps below street level in what used to be a bank safe, Joe’s Underground offers a clubby respite for downtown workers during lunchtime. Their Ruben and Philly sandwiches are great, and if your server offers soup, order it. At night, the kitchen stays open but it definitely turns into a bar, with nightly drink and shot specials that make the stairs back up to the street a little more difficult to navigate. Call 706-724-9457 or visit joesundergroundcafe.com

The perfect place for a late-night snack after the bars and clubs have closed, Knuckle Sandwiches carries seven menu items and offers barebones, good, honest fare that will fill any hunger void between the hours of 4 p.m. and 3 a.m. Not big enough for large groups, Knuckle Sandwiches is ideal for grabbing something glorious — such as a Swiss and Shroom BBQ Burger with their freakishly delicious fries — and heading home to watch repeats of the day’s events. Call 706-828-4700 or visit facebook. com/Knuckle-Sandwiches AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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laziza Mediterranean Grill

Mellow MushrooM

Manuel’s Bread Cafe

Laziza is a popular hot spot for lunch or dinner. Located in Evans, the bright and cheerful café offers authentic Mediterranean and middle-eastern fare including baklava, baba gannoush, tabbouleh salad and stuffed grape leaves. The food is made fresh and the service is fast and friendly — this staff pick has to be the succulent chicken shawarma.

If Hammond’s Ferry is a town with the town of North Augusta, Manuel’s is its hub. French chef Manuel Verney-Carron offers breakfast, lunch, brunch and dinner here in a restaurant that is quaint on the inside and out. Salads are fresh, with ingredients straight from nearby Blue Clay Farm, and the steak and duck can’t be beat.

MarCella’s fine CiGars & toBaCCo

Call 706-504-4303 or visit lazizagrill.com

Call 803-380-1323 or visit manuelsbreadcafe.com

Call 706-250-3618 (Evans) or 706737-0477 (Augusta)

Marcella’s may have “cigars” in its name, but they specialize in a variety of tobacco products in flavors ranging from mild to robust. They also have accessories and the largest humidor room in the region.

You can’t go wrong with the pizza, pretzels, salads and even the hummus at this laid-back, hippie-inspired restaurant with three area locations. All three are owned by restaurateur Shawn Ledford, but each has its own personality. They all share an impressive beer collection and a welcoming atmosphere, however.

Call 706-828-5578 (Augusta), 706364-6756 (Evans) or 803-474-8454 (Aiken), or visit mellowmushroom.com

PartridGe inn

naCho MaMa’s Metro, a Coffeehouse A downtown favorite, Metro is a wonderful combination of a coffeehouse and a bar. Although it features outdoor tables, comfortable indoor booths and other seating, not to mention truly great live music, the bar also wins big with its huge selection of drinks, from coffee to beer to even stronger. Want an early afternoon something? Metro is open all day and most of the night too.

Call 706-722-6468 24 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

This is a restaurant that is near and dear to many a local’s heart. Celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, Nacho Mama’s serves up gigantic burritos and strong (really strong) margaritas in a friendly atmosphere with an eclectic, downtown vibe. Order at the counter and the staff will yell out your name when your food is ready. Or just sit at the bar and relax. One other tip: Get anything that has the mango habanero salsa on it (and ask for extra) and go ahead and splurge for the top-shelf margarita. Both are worth it.

oliviana’s Pizzeria restaurant Bar

Call 706-724-0501 or visit nachomamasaugusta.com

Call 706-723-1242 or visit olivianaitaliano.com

Inspired by Italian cuisine, Oliviana’s menu runs the gamut of traditional fare; fresh seafood, pasta and pizza cooked to order. The restaurant offers light and airy spaces and yields a relaxing atmosphere — it’s a lovely place to eat simple, wellprepared, fresh Italian food. Big tip too big to ignore: Oliviana’s juicy homemade meatballs are incredible. And so is their Tiramisu. Just do it.

Chef Robert Plouffe has transformed the P.I. Grill at the Partridge Inn into a divine reflection of the surrounding Southern culture. Already a beloved landmark, and known for its magnificent verandah, the bar and grill provide diners and guests with an elegant but comfortable place to dine or just hang out. On Thursday April 7 of Masters Week, the Partridge Inn is hosting a fundraiser Casino Night. For $100 per person, guests receive entry into the casino, 25,000 in chips, and unlimited drinks. The night begins at 9 p.m. and takes place in the Summerville Room on the first floor of the hotel. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Augusta’s Wounded Warrior Project. Call 706-737-8888 or visit curiocollection3.hilton.com 7APRIL2016

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Pizza Joint A locally owned restaurant with three area locations (four if you count Columbia, S.C.), the Pizza Joint is a great place to hit if you just want a slice and a beer. Of course, you may change your mind once you see their sandwiches (the Billy Club is a personal favorite), calzones and even the salads (get the Greek or the Sicilian chef’s), but the Tree Hugger is an incredibly good slice of pizza even if it doesn’t have meat on it. Call 706-774-0037 (Augusta), 706447-4992 (Evans) or 803-648-9074 (Aiken), or visit thepizzajoint.net

rae’S CoaStal Cafe You may need directions to Rae’s if you’ve never been; it’s located in a neighborhood off Walton Way. But once you find this charming little beach shack, you’ll never want to leave. Seafood is their specialty, but their Jamaican jerk chicken has been on the menu as long as anyone can remember. And the frozen mango pie is a must.

Call 706-738-1313 or visit raescoastalcafe.com

rhinehart’S oySter bar

Augusta is nowhere near the ocean, but you’ll feel like you are when you visit this restaurant, an institution for locals and out-of-town guests alike. Seafood, of course, is the name of the game here and their buffalo grilled shrimp are pretty tasty. Not in the mood for seafood? They have a damn good burger on the menu as well. Call 706-860-2337 (Augusta) or 706868-6850 (Evans), or visit rhineharts.com

Shannon’S Shannon’s is an old-school bar and lounge that has undergone a facelift in recent years. Here, the drinks are inexpensive, the food is incredibly good and they have one of the best bartenders in town on staff. So if you encounter Aaron Brock, tip him well and tell him the Metro Spirit sent you. He’ll give us our cut later.

Call 706-814-7760 or visit facebook. com/shannonsbargrill/

the Snug Sheehan’S iriSh Pub and reStaurant Sheehan’s may call itself a pub, but its food is worthy of any fine dining restaurant in the city. The inside of this well-loved Hill spot gets more and more raucous as the evening progresses. For a more serene experience, ask for a table on the enclosed patio. The duck is a favorite entrée and, if they’re serving Scotch eggs, order them before they run out! Call 706-364-1234 or visit sheehansirishpub.com 7APRIL2016

Sky City The Soul Bar’s younger sister, Sky City is a live music venue and bar next to Mellow Mushroom on Broad Street. Thanks to a digital PA, the sound for live music is amazing and has attracted some impressive talent, from Vintage Trouble and Drivin’ n Cryin’ to Cage the Elephant. Upcoming shows include the Major Rager After Party featuring TAUK and TAUKing McGee.

Call 706-945-1270 or visit skycityaugusta.com

A neighborhood steakhouse with a naturally cozy atmosphere, The Snug is about to celebrate one year of new ownership during which time the family owned and operated restaurant has transformed its dinner menu and introduced lunch. Known as a traditional date-night restaurant, the Snug is a firm favorite of steak lovers throughout the Augusta area — avoid serious disappointment by calling or going online to make reservations before making your way to West Augusta. Call 706-863-1118 or visit thesnug.net

Sole auguSta Large parties, look no further: Sole is the spot for you. Not only is the space inside open and airy, but they have a great side patio decked out with comfortable seating and games galore. Their menu has a little something for everyone, from sushi to tacos, and their bar selection is just as varied.

Call 706-432-9898 or visit facebook. com/soleaugusta AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Soul Bar

SouthBound SmokehouSe

We are the home of James Brown, and nobody honors the Godfather of Soul like the Soul Bar. The finest combination of dirty beats, a variety of great beers and some amazing live music, the Soul Bar has a vibe like no other bar downtown. Extremely laid back, this place has been keeping downtown Augusta funky since 1995 — check out the bar’s impressive collection of James Brown era memorabilia and the local art.

George Claussen opened this restaurant with business partner Brian Brittingham last year. Since then, it has garnered rave reviews for its barbecue, homemade sauces (named after the songs of the bands they love so much) and anti-craft cocktail thinking. This, they believe, is food and drinks you serve at a backyard barbecue and the restaurant has that vibe as well. Insider tip: Many declare Southbound’s Almost Famous wings to be the best chicken wings they’ve ever had.

Call 706-724-8880 or visit facebook.com/ SoulBarAugusta

Call 706-733-5464 or visit southboundsmokehouse.com

the SportS Center If you’ve been to Luigi’s, you may have noticed the Sports Center next door. Let’s face it: it ain’t much to look at. What lies beyond the door, that will probably stick when you try to open it, however, is the best burger in a downtown area full of really good ones. The difference here is this burger is a steal; two people can get burgers, onion rings (and you have to get the onion rings) and a goldfish bowl full of beer for around $20.

Call 706-724-9307

Stillwater taproom There’s no place like Stillwater anywhere in Augusta. From the moment you see the rocking chairs out front, you know this is a place to relax with a good beer. Featuring 24 beers and ciders on tap, the selections are listed on a chalkboard opposite the bar; that chalkboard makes an appearance on their Facebook page, if you want to check out the rotating selection before you head over. Make a point to visit on the nights when they have live music; Stillwater books some of the best local and regional Americana and bluegrass acts around. Call 706-826-9857 or visit facebook.com/ stillwatertaproomaugusta/ 26 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

takoSuShi Chef Kevin Goldsmith changed the culinary scene when he opened Surrey Center’s TakoSushi. Now, his Far East Meets Southwest concept has five locations in Georgia and South Carolina, all on the strength of… well, everything on the menu. We have our favorites (the posole, the Cary’s Roll, the ahi pokke, the tempura asparagus), but you really can’t go wrong no matter what you order.

Call 706-736-9191 (Augusta), 706-863-0606 (Evans) or 803-642-8899 (Aiken), or visit tako-sushi.com

taqueria el patron Fast-paced service and authentic Mexican food makes this little taqueria a must for anyone who wants the real deal. The kitchen uses fresh ingredients to create their own corn tortillas, salsa and burritos the size of newborns. Staff pick: the The Burrito El Patron — a handmade flour tortilla stuffed with seared seasoned steak, rice, avocado, refried beans, cheese, onion, lettuce and tomato, topped with a tangy but sweet salsa verde. So much yes.

Call 706-210-5678 or visit facebook.com/ Taqueria-El-Patron 7APRIL2016

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Tin lizzy’s canTina

ThaT place A coffee spot that also serves pastries, salads, sandwiches and hot dogs, That Place also offers an outlet to local creators with Cushions & Caffeine featuring local songwriters. Call 706-339-7011 or visit thatplacecoffee.com

They may serve margaritas and tacos, but Tin Lizzy’s isn’t your ordinary Mexican restaurant. Located right in the middle of the Masters Week action, this place describes its cuisine as FlexMex. That means they serve traditional Mexican dishes like quesadillas and nachos, but fill them with ingredients like you’d find in a Philly cheesesteak or a Greek gyro. And they do make a damn good margarita, no doubt about it. This week the Cantina margarita is $5, as is the El Jefe, a 23-ounce beer. Call 706-504-9767 or visit tinlizzyscantina.com

Top shelf cigar & Tobacco shoppe Tipsey McsTuMbles Downtown’s only Irish pub has 24 beers on tap and some of the best looking (and least clothed) bartenders in town. Need we say more?

Call 706-955-8507 or visit tipseymcstumblespub.com 7APRIL2016

Martinez’s only full-service tobacconist offers its customers a choice of 370 cigars, lots of accessories and just about anything else they might need. This week they open at 6:30 a.m. so customers can stop in on the way to the course. Not only that, if you have an order or $250 or more, they’ll deliver.

Call 706-860-8628 or visit topshelfcigarshoppe

Tip Top Taps If you’re looking for some beer to take home with you and a six pack just won’t do, this is your place. A growler store featuring 20 beers of all kinds on tap, Tip Top Taps has knowledgeable employees who love to talk beer and will even give you a sample or two before filling up your howler or growler. Call 706-860-2320 or tiptoptaps.com

Twin peaks It may look like the girls in orange decided to go to the mountains, but Twin Peaks is a whole lot more than owls and chicken wings. Here you’ll find excellent food (try the trout), great service and an impressive selection of bourbon. Call 706-426-4934 or visit twinpeaksrestaurant.com AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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tWisted Burrito In case the name didn’t tip you off, the burritos here are anything but ordinary. You can get the Zeus, for instance, with grilled chicken, olive tapenade and tzatziki sauce, or you can try the Boss Hogg with pulled pork, fries, cheese and bbq aioli. Whatever you order, be sure try their highly addictive fries. They are a sweet and salty treat. Call 706-869-4622 or visit gettwistedevans.com

Whiskey Bar (kitchen) There are a lot of great things on WBK’s menu (the pork belly and slaw taco comes to mind), but this is the home of the TCB burger, which everyone should be required to try at least one. A burger topped with peanut butter, banana, bacon and honey, it’s delicious. Don’t leave without checking out, and ordering, something off their extensive whiskey menu.

Call 706-814-6159 or visit whiskeybarkitchen.com

Wild Wing cafe Wild Wing is the place to party with live music during Masters Week, so much so that they have two stages of live music each night: one outside and one inside. Great chicken wings, live music, lots of beer: what could be better? Call 706-364-9453 or visit wildwingcafe.com 28 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Whole Foods Yes, it’s a grocery store. But it’s also a great place for takeout pizza, picking up a dessert or hors d’oeuvres on the way to a party or just hanging out at their outside putting green with a burger and a beer while listening to live music. This week will feature a wine tasting on Friday, April 8, from 5-8 p.m., Sunday brunch from 11 a.m.-2 p.m., a mechanical bull in the store April 7, 8 and 9 from 5-8 p.m. and a children’s bounce house April 7-10.

Call 762-333-0260 or visit wholefoodsmarket.com

Wine World Wine World is a short bridge away from Augusta and offers some of the best wines, beers and cheeses around. The folks who work here know what they’re talking about, so you can rest assured that you’ll leave with exactly what you’re looking for. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com 7APRIL2016

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Noon Brown Bag Lunch ‘N Learn

Whatever you put in it is up to you (no judgments from us), but if you’ve ever wanted to learn how to make hidden compartments in your books, the Harlem Arts Council will help you out with a seminar on Thursday, April 14, at 6 p.m. at Attic Treasures. $13. Call 706-231-7199 or email harlemartscouncil@gmail.com.

TheClubhou.se An event featuring consultants and other experts who will provide information to budding entrepreneurs. Visit theclubhou.se.

3pm Beginner Spanish Aiken Public Library A class for adults. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Thu Apr 14

7pm - 8:30pm Advanced Sign Language Class University Hospital An eight-week class that meets Thursdays through June 2. $45 plus $45 for the textbook. Pre-registration required. Call 706-738-2095 or visit universityhealth.org.

Ongoing

GenCyber Teacher Camp Augusta University Applications are open for teachers to middle school students, grades 4-8, for this camp on June 6-10. Camp topics include staying safe on line, beginning Google Apps scrpt, exploring cryptography, practicum experience and action plans, and learning from experts in cybersecurity careers. Free, but pre-registration required. Applications are due April 11. Call 706-737-1659 or email jearmstrong@augusta.edu.

Free Tax Preparation Services

ARTS Mon Apr 11

1pm - 2:30pm Hypertufa Planters 101 Attic Treasures, Harlem A two-session class for adults that continues Wednesday, April 13, from 1-2 p.m. Hypertufa is a unique, plant friendly medium created out of a blend of Portland cement, peat moss, perlite or vermiculite and water. This mixture is formed into a mold or built by hand. Once fully cured, it is weatherproof and should not crack during freezing temperatures. $30; pre-registration required. Call 706-231-7199 or email harlemartscouncil@gmail.com.

Tue Apr 12

1pm - 3:30pm Acrylic Painting Attic Treasures, Harlem A Harlem Arts Council class led by Gayla Espiritu. $25. Call 706-231-7199 or email harlemartscouncil@gmail.com.

Thu Apr 14

706-736-6758 or visit arcpls.org.

Attic Treasures, Harlem A Harlem Arts Council book repurposing class. $13. Call 706-231-7199 or email harlemartscouncil@gmail.com.

Tue Apr 12

6pm Hidden Compartment Books

EDUCATION

2pm Friends of the Library Quarterly Meeting Aiken Public Library Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Sat Apr 9

Wed Apr 13

Augusta Museum of History Part of the Voices of the Past series of character monologues. Free with museum admission. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Augusta Museum of History Featuring African Americans: Civil Rights and Race Relations, led by Paine College’s Dr. Mallory Millender. Participants should bring their own lunch and the museum will provide beverages. A Q&A session follows the lecture. Free, members; $3, nonmembers. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

11:30am, 12:30pm and 1:30pm A Petersburg Boat Pilot

Mon Apr 11

3:30pm - 5pm Intermediate Spanish Friedman Branch Library An adult class led by Edwin Perez of the Asociacion Cultural Hispanoamericana. Call

11:30am Brown Bag History Series Lecture

IRS-certiﬁed volunteers will be at the Euchee Creek Library in Grovetown Mondays from 9:30 a.m.-2 p.m. and the Columbia County Library in Evans Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays from 10 a.m.-2 p.m., through April 18, to assist taxpayers of all ages and backgrounds. Walk-ins welcome but those interested can also call the libraries on the days of the visits for an appointment. Call 706-294-2109.

Leadership Columbia County Columbia County Chamber of Commerce Applications for Leadership Columbia County’s class of 2017 are being accepted through April 21. The 10-month program, with day-long class sessions that will cover various topics such as law enforcement, healthcare, education and workforce, economic development and history of the county, is designed to expose business and area leaders to the opportunities and challenges facing the community as well as to promote and foster the development of leadership. For more information, call 706-6510018 or visit columbiacountychamber.com.

James Brown Family Historical Tour Augusta Museum of History

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Available each Saturday at 11 a.m. and lasting approximately two hours, this bus tour includes Brown’s elementary school, his childhood home, his statue and more. $15 fee, includes admission to the museum, which houses the largest collection of James Brown memorabilia. Reservations 24 hours in advance required. Call 803-6402090 or visit jamesbrownfamilyfdn.org.

Guided Tours 1797 Ezekiel Harris House Offered by appointment only MondayFriday and Saturday from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

North Augusta Driving Tour Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta Offered by appointment and includes a 3045 minute guided tour and admission to the center. Self-guided tours are also available through an iPhone downloadable audio tour or a Google Maps-based tour. Guided tours: $5, adults; $3, students K-12. Call 803-4414380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Tours Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson Guided tours, approximately 45 minutes long, are offered Thursday-Saturday on the hour from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Group tours are available by advanced reservation. Adults, $5; seniors, $4; kids K-12, $3; under 5 years, free. Call 706-724-0436 or visit wilsonboyhoodhome.org.

Historic Trolley Tours of Augusta Augusta Visitors Center Tours aboard the Lady Libby available at the Augusta Visitors Center with 24-hour advanced reservations. Tickets include admission to the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-724-4067 or visit visitaugusta.org.

ELSEWHERE Thu Apr 7

3pm Washington Walls Mural Festival Dedication Downtown Washington A mural artist will bring the town’s history to life on the walls of a historic downtown building. Call 706-678-5111 or visit washingtonwilkes.org.

Sat Apr 9

10am - 3pm Educator Workshop Columbia Museum of Art Led by REMIX artist Damond Howard, this workshop uses the museum’s art collection and exhibitions to introduce new ways of thinking about the curriculum and to show innovative teaching approaches. Each educator receives an illustrated 7APRIL2016

teacher packet and five renewal credit hours for professional development. $30, including lunch. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

Sun Apr 10

Noon - 3pm Passport to Art: Fit for a Bird Columbia Museum of Art A free open studio for families in which participants will create a work of art and take a gallery tour at 1 p.m. Call 803-7992810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

2pm Gallery Tour: Highlights of the CMA Collection Columbia Museum of Art Free with admission. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

Ongoing

Clara et Obscura: Dramatic Effects Photography LithaMoonGallery, Greensboro This juried photography competition, which shows May 6-June 3, is seeking submissions from those 18 and older by April 16. All techniques, including digital, are permitted, and a grand prize of $500 will be awarded. Entry fee is $35 for six images. Email submission@lithamoon.com.

EXHIBITIONS Thu Apr 14

6pm - 7:30pm Meet the Artist: Mary Kathryn Rufo Hire Grounds Cafe Retired nurse educator Mary Kathryn Rufo took up art eight years ago, expressing herself in various mediums including oil, sculpture and photography. Her work is on display throughout the month of April. Call 706-650-5760 or visit goodwillworks.org.

6pm - 8pm Southern Exposure Gallery Opening Reception Aiken Center for the Arts The work of Southern Exposure, a group of 12 artists from upstate South Carolina, will be on display April 11-May 7. The reception is free and open to the public. Call 803-6419094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Ongoing

The Process of Becoming Westobou Gallery An exhibit that shows through April 15 and displays works with a focus on identity, youth and the exploration of form through media of painting, photography and sculpture by Augusta University senior student artists Ashton Collins, Sarah Joy McCollum, and Sara Mays. Call 706-7552878 or visit westoboufestival.com.

Exhibits Augusta Museum of History

Includes the following: “The Godfather of Soul, Mr. James Brown; “Celebrating a Grand Tradition, the Sport of Golf”; “Augusta’s Story”; “A Community That Heals”; “Into the Interior: A History of the Georgia Railroad and Banking Company”; “Local Legends”; “One Man, Two Ships: Lessons in History and Courage”; “A Quilt Journey”; and “Canteens to Combat Boots”. Call 706-7228454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Call 706-721-2273 or visit augustahealth.org.

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AUHealth Call 706-721-2273 or visit augustahealth.org.

Thu Apr 7

10:30am and 3pm “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Road Chip” North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Fri Apr 8

Mon Apr 11

4pm Breast Self-Exam Class University’s Breast Health Center Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

Tue Apr 12

6:30pm Childbirth Tour

7pm - 9:30pm Childbirth Preparation University Hospital A three-session class that continues on Tuesdays through April 26. Free, but preregistration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

10:30am and 3pm “The Good Dinosaur” North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Wed Apr 13

Sat Apr 9

Columbia County Sheriff’s Substation Appointment required. Call 706-541-3970 or visit grhealth.org.

10:30am “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library Call 803-279-5767 or visit arcpls.org.

2:30pm Family Fun Movies Appleby Branch Library Call 706-736-6244 or visit abbe-lib.org.

3pm “Brooklyn” Aiken Public Library Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Child Safety Seat Inspections

1:30pm - 3:30pm Look Good Feel Better Augusta University Cancer Center An American Cancer Society program that aims to help women in cancer treatment combat the appearance-related side effects of chemo and radiation. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-0466 or visit augustahealth.org.

6:30pm - 8pm Infant CPR: AHA Friends and Family

Mon Apr 11

AugustaHealth Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2273 or visit augustahealth.org.

Euchee Creek Library Call for details. Call 706-556-0594 or visit gchrl.org.

Thu Apr 14

5:30pm Family Movie Night

HEALTH Thu Apr 7

5:30pm - 8pm Cribs for Kids Safe Kids Office This class will teach caregivers how to provide a safe sleep environment by showing what dangers to watch out for. Families who demonstrate a financial need will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and a pacifier for a fee of $10 per registered child. Call 706-721-7606 or visit grhealth.org/safekids.

7pm - 9:30pm Women’s Center Tour University Hospital Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Sat Apr 9

10:30am Childbirth Tour AUHealth

5:45pm - 8pm Car Seat Class Safe Kids Office Pre-registration required. $10; car or booster seat provided to families who meet financial guidelines. Call 706-721-7606 or visit augustahealth.org.

6:30pm - 9:30pm Breastfeeding Class Doctors Hospital Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

6:30pm - 9pm Your Amazing Baby Georgia Regents Medical Center Pre-registration is required for this baby care class. Call 706-721-9351 or visit augustahealth.org.

HOBBIES Fri Apr 8

3pm Genealogy Club Columbia County Library Participants will learn the basics of finding their roots. Pre-registration required. Call AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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6:30am - 6pm Masters Camp

9am - 4pm Spring Break Art Camp

Blythe Area Recreation Center For ages 4-12. Session I is from 6:30 a.m.noon and Session II is noon-6 p.m. $22 a week for session I; $23 a week for session II. Call 706-592-4988.

Aiken Center for the Arts The theme of this camp will be the 20th century pop art movements. 4K and up: 9 a.m.-noon, 1-4 p.m. or 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Registration is by the day or the week. $45 per half-day; $140 a week for half days. $75, full day; $265 a week for full days. Call 803641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

9am - 3pm Camp Kroc Spring Break Camp Kroc Center A camp for those ages 5-12, who will play games, swim, do arts and crafts and more. $100, members; $125, non-members. Extended care, 7-9 a.m. and 3-6 p.m. is $5 per day. Pre-registration is required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit salvationarmyaugusta. org/kroc-center/.

706-863-1946, ext. 4, or visit gchrl.org.

6pm Vegan Mac, Cheese and Spinach Casserole Cooking Demo St. Luke’s UMC A CSRA Vegetarian Society event that begins at 6:15 p.m. Visit meetup.com/csravs/.

Sat Apr 9

10am Keep Calm and Coupon On Euchee Creek Branch Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-5560594 or visit gchrl.org.

Wed Apr 13

Noon Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters Fat Man’s Mill Cafe Those interested are invited to learn speech and leadership skills in a fun and supportive atmosphere. Call 706-627-2134.

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6pm - 8pm All Grown Up Cooking Class Plum Pudding, Aiken A small, chef’s table-style class in which participants are encouraged to ask questions and will enjoy a full meal from the recipes provided. $65; pre-registration required. Call 888-940-7586 or visit plumpuddingkitchen.com.

Thu Apr 14

1pm Columbia County Genealogical Society Meeting Euchee Creek Branch Library For those of all abilities. Call 706-556-0594 or visit gchrl.org.

KIDS-TEENS Thu Apr 7

6am - 6pm Spring Break Camp Jamestown Community Center, Hephzibah For ages 5-14. $55 per child; $45 for each additional child. Call 706-790-1805.

Kroc Center A weekly event for those ages 18 months-5 years and their parents that includes stories, projects and playtime. $1, members; $2, nonmembers. Call 706-922-1533 or visit salvationarmyaugusta.org.

9am - 4pm Spring Break Art Camp

10am - noon Play & Grow Activity

Aiken Public Library For those ages 0-5. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

10:30am - 3pm Jr. Rangers: Canoe & Hike

A free, two-night event from the Westobou Festival folks, Springboard is Friday and Saturday, April 8-9, from 5-11 p.m. at the Augusta Common, and skating on this Sweet Sticks skate ramp, painted by Leonard Zimmerman, is only one of the activities planned. Others include movies (“E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” and “Labyrinth”), music, yoga sessions, late-night parties featuring a DJ spinning ‘80s dance music, life-sized games, beer, food trucks and more. Call 706-755-2878 or visit westoboufestival.com.

9:30am Kroc Tots

Mistletoe State Park Participants will hike, canoe, make a craft and learn outdoor safety skills. $20; preregistration required. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe.

2pm STEAM @ Hogwarts: PotionMaking Class Columbia County Library Participants ages 6 and up will learn science and math concepts will having fun. Call 706863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

Fri Apr 8

6am - 6pm Spring Break Camp Jamestown Community Center, Hephzibah For ages 5-14. $55 per child; $45 for each additional child. Call 706-790-1805.

6:30am - 6pm Masters Camp Blythe Area Recreation Center For ages 4-12. Session I is from 6:30 a.m.noon and Session II is noon-6 p.m. $22 a week for session I; $23 a week for session II. Call 706-592-4988.

Sat Apr 9

9:30am - 11am Children’s Hike with Story Time Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Pre-registration required. Call 706-396-1424 or visit phinizycenter.org.

11am Let’s Play Story Time Barnes & Noble Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

5:30pm Kordell Stewart Book Signing Barnes & Noble Stewart is the author of “Truth: The Kordell Stewart Story.” Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Mon Apr 11

9:30am - 2pm Jr. Rangers: Hike & Camp Preparation Mistletoe State Park Participants ages 7-12 will hike to the pioneer area, set up camp and make lunch. $25, plus $5 parking; pre-registration required. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe.

Tue Apr 12

10am - 11:30am Puddle Ducks: Kids & Caregivers Club Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Stories and hands-on fun. Free, members; $5, nonmembers. Call 706-396-1424 or email info@phinizycenter.org.

10:30am Toddler Tuesday Kroc Center Parents are invited to bring their toddlers for 30 minutes of playtime and a story, followed by an hour in the pool splash pad area. Parent must remain with their child throughout the program. Free, members; 7APRIL2016

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$5, nonmembers. Call 706-922-1533 or visit salvationarmyaugusta.org.

4pm Beginner’s Guitar Class Columbia County Library A class for those ages 11-18 in which six guitars are available for use. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

Auggie and the Augusta GreenJackets are back in the ﬁrst home game of the 2016 season on Thursday, April 14, at 7:05 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Don’t miss it! $8-$12. Call 706-922-9467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

4pm Storytime in the Gardens Hopelands Gardens Local senior adults will read to participants and each family in attendance will receive a free book. Blankets, chairs, drinks and snacks are welcome. Call 803-642-7631.

Wed Apr 13

10am Wacky Wednesday Story Time Barnes & Noble Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

4:30pm - 6pm Alley Cats Strikehouse Bowl, Aiken Part of the Aiken Recreation Department’s Buddy Sports program for those with physical and/or intellectual disabilities, this class is for those of all bowling abilities. $12 a month; pre-registration required. Call 803426-1284 or visit therecingcrew.com.

Thu Apr 14

10am April Showers Morris Museum of Art Part of the Mommy and Me series for children and parents in which participants will listen to Eric Carle’s “Little Cloud” while viewing Henry Ossawa Tanner’s Georgia Landscape, then make a rain stick. Free, members; $4 per participants, nonmembers. Pre-registration required. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org.

4pm Lego Club Aiken Public Library For those in grades K-5. Legos provided. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

4pm Teen Book Club Harlem Branch Library Call 706-556-9795 or visit gchrl.org.

LITERARY Mon Apr 11

7pm - 9pm Pub Fiction Book Club Pizza Central Hosted by Columbia County Library staff. April’s selection is “The Awakening” by Kate Chopin. Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

Tue Apr 12

6:30pm Cece Bell Book Signing Aiken Public Library Meet 2015 Newbery Honor winner, Cece Bell, author of the New York Times bestselling graphic novel memoir El Deafo. 7APRIL2016

Copies of El Deafo, Rabbit and Robot: The Sleepover, and I Yam a Donkey! will be available for purchase with proceeds to beneﬁt the library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

MUSIC Thu Apr 7

7pm and 9pm JazzMasters Jessye Norman School of the Arts Featuring two shows nightly of live jazz in a listening room environment. Call 762-2335299 or visit jazzmasters.org.

Fri Apr 8

6:30pm Music Cruise Augusta Canal Featuring Bethany Davis & the Southside Boys performing on the Petersburg Boat. Participants are invited to bring snacks and beverages. $25; $23, seniors, military and students. Pre-registration required. Call 706-

823-0440, ext. 4, or visit augustacanal.com.

7pm and 9pm JazzMasters

Thu Apr 14

7:30pm Time in a Bottle

Jessye Norman School of the Arts Featuring two shows nightly of live jazz in a listening room environment. Call 762-2335299 or visit jazzmasters.org.

AECOM Center for the Performing Arts, Aiken Musician Jim Witter takes audiences on a journey through ‘60s and ‘70s folk favorites in this Aiken Performing Arts Group presentation. $40. Visit apagonline.org.

Sat Apr 9

SENIORS

11am - 2pm Saturday Morning Swing Eighth Street Plaza Live music from local jazz artists and performing arts groups during the Augusta Market. Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

7pm and 9pm JazzMasters Jessye Norman School of the Arts Featuring two shows nightly of live jazz in a listening room environment. Call 762-2335299 or visit jazzmasters.org.

Fri Apr 8

11:30am - 1pm Elmcroft Senior Studies 101 Lunch and Learn Columbia County Library Pre-registration required. Call 706-8681946, ext. 4, or visit gchrl.org.

Mon Apr 11

6pm Humana Medicare 101: All Your Questions Answered Columbia County Library Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Tue Apr 12

AARP Tax Help

1:30pm - 3:30pm AARP Class Kroc Center A class that focuses on health insurance, life insurance and retirement. Call 706-3645762 or visit salvationarmyaugusta.org/ kroc-center/.

Thu Apr 14

9am - 1pm AARP Driver Safety Program Summerville Professional Office Building Graduates of this program, for those ages 50 and older, can apply for a discount on insurance. $14. Call 800-414-7441 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Columbia County Library Help provided on a ﬁrst-come, ﬁrst served basis Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays between 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Call 706-863-1946 or visit gchrl.org.

Kroc Center Call 706-922-0171 or visit salvationarmyaugusta.org.

Ongoing

Euchee Creek Branch Library Help offered on a ﬁrst come, ﬁrst served basis every Monday from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit gchrl.org.

SPECIAL EVENTS

Thu Apr 14

Fri Apr 8

5pm - 11pm Springboard

5pm - 8pm Wine Not It’s Friday

AARP Tax Aide Kroc Center Helping for seniors in ﬁling out tax returns will be available Tuesdays and Saturdays through April 12, from 9 a.m.-2 p.m., as well as Thursday, April 14, and Friday, April 15, from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Call 706-364-5762 or visit salvationarmyaugusta.org/kroc-center/.

5pm - 11pm Springboard Augusta Common A free Westobou Festival event that features Starlight Cinema, music, family friendly yoga sessions, the Sweet Sticks skate ramp, food, games and more. Call 706755-2878 or visit westoboufestival.com.

AARP Tax Help

Augusta Common A free Westobou Festival event that features Starlight Cinema, music, family friendly yoga sessions, the Sweet Sticks skate ramp, food, games and more. Call 706755-2878 or visit westoboufestival.com.

11am - 1pm Medicare and You

8th Street Plaza, Reynolds Street The event features vendors of all kinds, activities, live entertainment and more. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Whole Foods A $5 wine tasting in which participants get ﬁve 3-ounce samples of featured wines. Call 762-333-0259 or visit wholefoodsmarket.com.

Sat Apr 9

5pm - 8pm Second Thursday Shops of Midtown, Kings Way at Central Ave. This event features discounts in the shops, hors d’oeuvres and more. The featured organization is Dog Networking Agents and local artists Jay Jacobs and Chase Lanier will be painting live. Call 706-733-1788.

SPORTS-OUTDOORS Fri Apr 8

8pm - 10pm Bingo Night Mistletoe State Park A family event in which boards are two for $1. $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe.

8am - 2pm Augusta Market at the River

Sat Apr 9

9:30am - 11am Yoga in the Park Phinizy Swamp Nature Park For all levels. Participants should bring yoga mat and water. Call 706-828-2109 or visit phinizycenter.org.

Thu Apr 14

7:05pm Augusta GreenJackets vs. Charleston Riverdogs Lake Olmstead Stadium $8-$12. Call 706-922-9467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

Ongoing

Fencing Classes Augusta Fencers Club Classes for children as young as six, as well as teens and adults, meet ﬁve nights a week. Call 706-722-8878.

Augusta Sports Leagues This organization offers adult sports leagues and social events, including kickball, soccer, ﬂag football, softball, basketball, indoor and sand volleyball, cornhole, and more for coed and mens leagues. For more information, visit augustasportsleagues.com.

Guided Tours Phinizy Swamp Nature Park

Please join us for a FREE...

Family Reunion Workshop & Tradeshow

Saturday 23 April

Augusta Marriott at the Convention Center 2 10th Street, Augusta GA RSVP: Michelle Bovian Michelle@VisitAugusta.com or 706.823.6616

8:00 am

Reunion Specialist, “Cousin” Michelle will provide reunion planning tips. Advanced registration is required. Attendees are encouraged to wear their family reunion t-shirts.

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Call to schedule custom tours of the park for organizations, kids groups or private parties. Tours included hiking, bicycle or golf cart tours and more. Call 706-828-2109 or email info@phinizycenter.org.

Daily Canal Tours Augusta Canal Winter Season hours, through March, include Heritage Boat Tours at 11:30 a.m. and 3 p.m. Tuesdays-Saturdays. The Civil War boat tour is daily at 1:30 p.m. Tickets are $13.75 for adults and $11.75 for seniors, military and students. All tickets include admission to the Canal Discovery Center, which costs $6 for adults and $4 for seniors, military and students without a boat tour. Pre-registration encouraged. Call 706-8230440, ext. 4, or visit augustacanal.com.

SUPPORT Thu Apr 7

10am - 11:30am Alzheimer’s Association Support Group Kroc Center Pre-registration required. Call 706-860-5233.

Fri Apr 8

11am - 2pm ALS Lunch and Learn

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Augusta University Medical Office Building room 4306 This support group gives individuals an opportunity to share their personal experiences and learn more about strategies for preserving the independence and quality of life for ALS patients and their loved ones. Lunch is provided. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2681 or visit augusta.org/classes.

answer questions and offer resources. Call 706-721-8283 or visit augustahealth.org.

Mon Apr 11

Thu Apr 14

6pm Pink Magnolias Breast Cancer Support Group University’s Breast Health Center Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

6:30pm Men’s Breast Cancer Support Group University’s Breast Health Center Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

Tue Apr 12

10:20am Moms Connection Augusta University Medical Center This free weekly support group for new mothers meets in the Terrace Dining Dogwood Room on the second floor. All new moms and their babies are welcome and an international board certified lactation consultant/educator/perinatal nurse will

7pm Alzheimer’s Support Group Alzheimer’s Association Chapter Building Call 706-731-9060.

7pm OB/GYN Cancer Support Group Call 706-821-2944.

12:30pm Breast Cancer Support Group

A University Theatre Players production. $8, students; $12, seniors, faculty and staff; $15, general. Call 803-641-3305 or visit etherredge.usca.edu.

Thu Apr 14

7:30pm “Twelfth Night” Etherredge Center, Aiken A University Theatre Players production. $8, students; $12, seniors, faculty and staff; $15, general. Call 803-641-3305 or visit etherredge.usca.edu.

AU Cancer Center Call 706-721-1560 or visit augusta.edu.

Ongoing

Alcoholics Anonymous Holds several meetings locally. For a current schedule, visit augustaaa.org/meetings.pdf.

Narcotics Anonymous Trinity Hospital of Augusta Meets Fridays at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 7 p.m. Visit na.org.

THEATER Wed Apr 13

7:30pm “Twelfth Night” Etherredge Center, Aiken

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During the 80th Masters Tournament, another tradition will go on as well: PlayBack “The Band” will play at Surrey Tavern. Established in 1978, Surrey Tavern is a Masters favorite which just completed an extensive renovation. Formed in 1991, PlayBack “The Band” is one of the city’s longest-running live musical outfits. In celebrating its 25th anniversary, the band remains the region’s most popular wedding band. PlayBack performs at Surrey Tavern Saturday, April 9, at 10 p.m. For more information, call 706-231-2088. Photo by Dennis Williams

Thursday, April 7 Live Music

Augusta Common - The Major Rager w/ Umphrey’s McGee, the Revivalists, Earphunk Bar on Broad - Daddy Rich Country Club - Shinebox Jessye Norman School of the Arts JazzMasters (two shows) Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - The Clydes Safari Lounge (Aiken) - Deuces Wild Band Sky City - The Major Rager After Party w/ TAUK, TAUKing McGee Sole Augusta - Cody Webb Somewhere in Augusta - The Unmentionables Southbound Smokehouse - Ray Fulcher That Place - John Stoney Cannon Tin Lizzy’s - The Kenny George Band Whole Foods - Music @ the Turn w/ McKenna Hydrick Wild Wing (Outside) - Lyn Avenue Wild Wing (Inside) - ‘80s R Us The Willcox (Aiken) - Jazz Wing Place (Aiken) - Anybody’s Guess

What’s Tonight?

Bar West - Open Mic Night w/ Jonathon Flowers Chevy’s - Karaoke Cotton Patch - Old School Thursday w/ DJ Groove Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke MAD Studios - Open Mic, Spoken Word Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane That Place - Open Mic Spoken Word, Poetry, Prose and Singer/Songwriters

Friday, April 8 Live Music

Augusta Canal - Music Cruise w/ Bethany Davis & the Southside Boys The Backyard Tavern - Pianoman Keith Davis Bar West - Live Music Bird Dog Grille - Keith Gregory Cotton Patch - Live Jazz & Blues Country Club - Chris Bandi Coyotes - Salazar Jessye Norman School of the Arts JazzMasters (two shows) Joe’s Underground - Open Mic Competition The Loft - Beauregard and the Down Right Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - The Clydes Polo Tavern (Aiken) - The Jim Fisher Band Red Pepper (Aiken) - Anybody’s Guess Shannon’s - Terence Lonon and the Untouchables Silver Bullet - John Stoney Cannon Sky City - Golphadelic Get Down Masters Afterparty w/ Runaway Gin, BYOG Somewhere in Augusta - The Unmentionables Southbound Smokehouse - Stereotype The Stables Restaurant (Aiken) - Keith Gregory Stillwater Taproom - Papa String Band Surrey Tavern - Live Music Tin Lizzy’s - Live Music Whole Foods - Music @ the Turn w/ Old Man Crazy Wild Wing (Outside) - Jagertron Wild Wing (Inside) - Whiskey Run

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s - DJ Nicky B Vera Cruz Mexican Restaurant - Karaoke w/ Denny van Valkenburgh

Saturday, April 9 Live Music

Bar on Broad - Daddy Rich

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Bird Dog Grille - Donna Jo Cotton Patch - Live Jazz & Blues Country Club - Gary Ray Eighth Street Plaza - Saturday Morning Swing at the Augusta Market on the River The Iron Heights - As Animals Eat My Insides Jessye Norman School of the Arts JazzMasters (two shows) Playoffs (Aiken) - Anybody’s Guess Safari Lounge (Aiken) - Deuces Wild Band Shannon’s - Sassy Brass Somewhere in Augusta - The Unmentionables Southbound Smokehouse - Scarlet Begonias Stillwater Taproom - Papa String Band Surrey Tavern - Playback “The Band” That Place - John Stoney Cannon Tin Lizzy’s - Barefoot Reggie Starrett Whole Foods - Music @ the Turn w/ Chris Hardy Wild Wing (Outside) - Bombshell Wild Wing (Inside) - Tokyo Joe The Willcox (Aiken) - Jon Vaughn

Whole Foods - Music @ the Turn w/ The Versatility Project Wild Wing - Cody Webb The Willcox (Aiken) - Jon Vaughn

What’s Tonight?

Joe’s Underground - Open Mic Polo Tavern (Aiken) - New Holland Road The Willcox (Aiken) - Hal Shreck

The Backyard Tavern - Karaoke Bar West - DJ Fugi Chevy’s - DJ Nicky B Helga’s Pub & Grille - Bluegrass Brunch (11 a.m.3 p.m.); Trivia, nights Joe’s Underground - Ladies Night, Singles Night Vera Cruz Mexican Restaurant - Karaoke w/ Denny van Valkenburgh

Sunday, April 10 Live Music

Mellow Mushroom (Aiken) - Brunch w/ Mike Frost and Lauren Meccia Safari Lounge (Aiken) - Deuces Wild Band Somewhere in Augusta - The Unmentionables Southbound Smokehouse - Funk You

What’s Tonight?

Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane

Monday, April 11 Live Music

Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - Blues Monday w/ Famous Last Words

What’s Tonight?

Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane Somewhere in Augusta - World Tavern Poker Wild Wing - Trivia

Tuesday, April 12 Live Music

What’s Tonight?

Bar West - Trivia Shannon’s - Karaoke w/ David Doane Somewhere in Augusta - Big Prize Trivia w/ Gorman

Wednesday, April 13 Live Music

The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Mike and Walter Wild Wing - Sabo & Reid

7APRIL2016

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What’s Tonight?

The Backyard Tavern - Karaoke Bar West - Karaoke Chevy’s - Karaoke Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes The Loft - Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Shaun Jones

Upcoming No Sir

- Stillwater Taproom April 14 Universal Sigh

- Stillwater Taproom April 15

Pride in Your Health. Pride in Yourself.

Chatham County Line, Crosstie Walkers

- Boeckh Park, North Augusta April 15 Jacob Beltz

- Stillwater Taproom April 16 Widespread Panic

- James Brown Arena April 19 The Werks, CBDB

- Sky City April 19

REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN.

The Oh Hellos, The Collection

- Sky City April 22 Rascal Flatts, Jana Kramer

- James Brown Arena April 23 10-Year Anniversary Party w/ Locash

- The Country Club April 29

Try FREE: 706-434-0108 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

Amy Grant, Nicole Nordeman, Ellie Holcomb

- USCA Convocation Center April 30 Roadkill Ghost Choir, Deept State, Thayer Sarrano

- Sky City April 30

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V27|NO14

SIGHTINGS

Michael Johnson | mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Gina Hawkins, Rick Johnson and Deb Johnson at Rhinehart’s Oyster Bar.

Ronnie Lee Ross, Krystal Kimbel and Mechie Smith at the Pizza Joint downtown.

Kathy Marks, Bryan Hatch and Pat Sanken Hatch at Craft & Vine.

Steve and Cynthia White with Tammy and Paul Abbott at Farmhaus Burger.

Robert Hagler, Leah Price, Christie Sanderson and Jeremy Best at Whiskey Bar (Kitchen).

Jay and Tina Hart with Dianne and Rick Jenkins at the Bee’s Knees.

TJ Pennington, Mari Cavagna and Chris Rogers at Blue Sky Bar & Kitchen.

Brennen Baxter, Taylor Stitcher, Mackenzie Rollins and Wayne Bohannon at Stillwater Taproom.

Jason Tyler, Sherry Tyler and Kala Tyler at Oliviana.

40 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

7APRIL2016

PITCH IMPERFECT By Patrick Blindauer / Edited by Will Shortz 104 Carriage ACROSS 105 Dundee turndown 1 Comment after a bull’s-eye 106 Messenger of biochemistry 9 Distress 107 French film director Clair 16 When Hamlet says “Alas, poor 108 Gray matter? Yorick! I knew him, Horatio” 110 Have in view 20 Sponsor of classic radio’s “Little 112 ____-d’Oise (French department) Orphan Annie” 115 “American Greed” channel 21 Lindbergh, e.g. 118 “After all that hard work, I’ll order 22 Japanese noodle 23 Warren Buffett’s rule about hugging? some cake”? 124 Latin word on the back of a dollar 26 Toymaker Rubik bill 27 Cone head? 125 Compact 28 Actor Stephen 126 People holding things up 29 Like some prose 127 Bellyache 30 You are, in español 128 Antarctic waters 33 Math ordinal 129 “Perfecto!” 35 Tiger Stadium sch. 38 Skyscraping DOWN 39 Encouraging words from slug 1 Terminal in a computer network enthusiasts? 2 Composer Novello 45 Word said with right or rise 3 Cylindrical pasta 46 Nothing: Fr. 4 The matador’s foe 47 Grp. that gets the lead out? 5 Peter and Francis: Abbr. 48 Bust supporter 6 Peg solitaire puzzle brand 51 Fifth-to-last word in the Lord’s 7 Burden Prayer 8 Member of Generation Z 53 “Sharp” fashion 9 Looney Tunes devil, for short 56 Creature on the Australian coat of 10 Possible reply to “Where are you?” arms 11 Confirmation, e.g. 57 Mozart’s “____ kleine Nachtmusik” 12 Thanks, in Hawaii 58 Tiny powerhouse 13 Juillet et août 59 Rap’s Dr. ____ 14 Ibsen’s homeland: Abbr. 60 Hayek of “Frida” 15 Hit the ground running? 62 Longtime soap actress Hall 64 Shout to one about to be knighted? 16 Indian retreats 17 Hook, line and sinker 69 One side of a quad, say 18 Game for little sluggers 71 Milo of stage and screen 19 Fan part 72 Voice from a phone 73 Take a clothing slogan too seriously? 24 Huge spans 78 Like Loyola and Xavier universities 25 Little darling 31 “Climb ____ Mountain” 82 Clobbers 32 Sicilian six 83 Fish eggs 34 Long race, in brief 84 1 + 2, in Germany 36 Top-notch 86 Prefix with -scope 87 Investment sometimes pronounced 37 Like most trivia, in the real world 39 Carried on as a name 40 Kemper of “The Office” 88 Risky 41 Try 92 Surmise 42 Stoned 93 Video-game playing, e.g. 43 Derisive cry 96 ____ Day (Hawaiian holiday) 44 Mormons, for short 97 SEAL Team 6 mission 49 What a bandoleer holds 99 Chinese calendar animal 50 Party with pu-pu platters 100 Tulle, to brides?

52 Cotton candy additive 54 Mummy in “The Mummy” 55 Saverin who co-founded Facebook 58 Musical lead-in to -smith 60 Like some losers 61 Up 63 Rogers, Orbison and Yamaguchi 65 Magazine edition: Abbr. 66 “Hey, I want to listen here!” 67 Roman gods 68 Country whose name is one letter different from a mountain 70 Gheorghe ____, former 7’7” N.B.A. player 73 “Ooh, dat hurt!” 74 1-5 on a cellphone screen 75 Precision 76 iRobot vacuum 77 Cape Cod town 79 Cut ties with, in a way 80 Best 81 Law-school class 85 Whom “I saw” on a seesaw, in a tongue twister 88 Peter Pan rival 89 Ring master 90 Play 91 One-named hitmaker of the 1950s-’60s 92 Word with two apostrophes 94 Leading 95 Pasta whose name is Italian for “feathers” 98 Sale tag abbr. 101 “Speed” star 102 ____ bean 103 Make secret 104 “Where to Invade Next” filmmaker 108 Letters of invitation? 109 1914 battle site 111 Desires 113 Comparable (to) 114 Golf’s Champagne Tony 116 City and province of southern Italy 117 Anatomical sac 119 Composer of the Windows 95 start-up sound 120 Some offensive linemen: Abbr. 121 “____ sport!” 122 New York engineering sch. 123 ____ Aviv

20 23

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O R E O P E T A T I C K T R W A R O H Y E M I N E A P N C H E Y O M A C H P O L O E K E R I S B O I R A T S I D E M R I G P O N A I T B T O

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Olympic Golf Should Have Debuted in Augusta The headlines out of Augusta this week included word that the gold medalist in the modern Olympics debut of the men’s golf competition this summer will also be receiving an invitation to play in the 2017 Masters Tournament. While it marks the first time that the Augusta National is officially linking itself to an Olympic competition, it is not the first time it was attempted. If there is a such thing as the greatest lost opportunity in the history of the Augusta National Golf Club, you would be hard pressed to move beyond “the swing and the miss” that was the 1996 Summer Olympics. In 1987 Georgia businessman Billy Payne was regarded as a wildly optimistic dreamer when he proposed bringing the 1996 Centennial Summer Olympics to Atlanta. Well, allow me to rephrase: He was called that by people who did not know him very well. If you knew Billy Payne, you knew him as a cross between a dragon slayer, a drill sergeant and your favorite stern but fair uncle. Tenacious almost to a fault, these were traits John Carlin described 20 years ago in a profile for the UK’s Independent, that have been with him since his youth: In the purity of his childhood he revealed early on a single-minded desire to win that at times frightened his family, not least his grandfather whom he played (games) against with an almost psychotic competitiveness, collapsing in despair when he lost. His father only made the obsessiveness worse. “My daddy always said, ‘Never was a horse that couldn’t be rode or a rider that couldn’t be throwed’,” Payne likes to tell his audiences. “He would say, ‘Billy, if you’re not smarter than a lot of people or a better athlete than somebody you can always outwork them’.” Payne’s adult track record showed he had no tolerance for slackers or much stomach for pipe dreams. His “seize the moment” attitude was said to be born of losing both his father and sister to illness at relatively young ages. All of which should have been a dead giveaway on why any wise gambler would have been insane to bet against him in the quest to secure his vision for Atlanta. But even Chamber of Commerce types (people who would chase a floating $20 bill over the edge of a seaside cliff) could not dare to believe the proposal Payne was putting forth as the unfathomable cherry that would sit on the top of his inconceivable Olympic dream for Atlanta: Olympic golf to be played at Augusta National. In those days, Hord Hardin was in the midst of his 11-year run as the chairman at Augusta National. While he was no Clifford Roberts, he was beyond a shadow of a doubt the one man who most closely matched the traditional mindset and mentality of the founding chairman. I have no idea what line of reasoning or salesmanship Payne used to convince Hardin and his inner circle of Green Coats to even consider opening up Augusta National for Olympic golf competition, but whatever it was, it worked. The same organization that for years resisted live front nine TV coverage and, at that point, did not even have a fulltime media coordinator on the payroll, agreed in concept to host an Olympic golf competition at the home of the Masters. And so it was announced October 21, 1992, in an unprecedented press conference at the Augusta National. The entire region was ecstatic over the amazing announcement, with huge headlines the next day in the 44 METROSPIRIT AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Augusta Chronicle (owned by ANGC member Billy Morris) in a size and style normally reserved to announce the winner of a presidential election. For years the clip of then Mayor Charles DeVaney waving a giant Olympic flag over a huge crowd cheering the announcement played at the intro of the Channel 6 newscast. It was all set. For the first time in history, there would be a meaningful tournament played at Augusta National in the summertime. With the exception of on-course maintenance and on-grounds hospitality, the club would largely be a silent host. A tidbit which was unheard of in theory, and incomprehensible in practice. Without one moment’s hesitation I can tell you that Olympic golf at Augusta National would have been the highlight of the summer of 1996. While one immediately conjures visions of Greg Norman representing Australia, Gary Player serving as Captain of the South African team, Seve Ballesteros shepherding the Spanish effort, Vijay Singh wearing his Fiji colors and so on, consider the even more amazing spectacle that would have come from watching the smaller countries proudly taking their place on one of sport’s greatest stages. The women’s teams of Jamaica and Japan teeing off at sunrise in July in Augusta. All of the excitement and national pride on display as usual in Olympic competition playing out on the most familiar and cherished golf course in the history of this country, if not arguably, the entire world. Atlanta Olympic Chairman Billy Payne had it all signed, sealed and delivered. Almost. As word of this unparalleled partnership began to sink in, the hue and cry of America’s chronic complainers, the career politically correct crowd, rang out like an air raid siren, only with a significantly more annoying sound. The then president of the Atlanta City Council, Bill Campbell, was one of the more outspoken critics of the plan, as Flip Bondy reported for the New York Times in November of 1992: The Atlanta City Council this week unanimously passed a nonbinding resolution urging the U.S.O.C. and the I.O.C. not to select Augusta as the host course for the Olympic competition. Councilman Bill Campbell, the sponsor of the resolution, called the site “profoundly inappropriate, given the historic lack of any black, Jewish or other minority members.” “Augusta National, by virtually all accounts, had a racially and sexually discriminating membership,” said Campbell, who is black. Ironic condemnation from Campbell, who at the time was a proud member of the gender exclusive (and unless I am mistaken, 100 percent black) fraternity Omega Psi Phi. He was also misinformed. The club had welcomed its first black members several years earlier, and had invited Jewish members decades before that. Sadly, it did not take long for the short-sighted whiners to get their way, and soon the proposal was scuttled by the International Olympic Committee. Other than death, or devastating natural disaster, there may not have been a worse piece of local news delivered in my lifetime. Untold millions of dollars of economic impact were lost for the CSRA, and Augusta became the only major city in

Georgia not to host any Olympic events in 1996. But Augustans were not the only ones disappointed, as Dennis Sodomka wrote for the Chronicle in 1996: “It’s clear the biggest thing missing here is golf at Augusta,” said Payne, president of the Atlanta Committee for the Olympic Games. “I’m sorry about that. It’s my biggest personal disappointment.” Losing Olympic golf also was one of the biggest disappointments for Augusta-area residents, many of whom said the whole episode left a bad taste in their mouths for the whole Olympics. That is the damn truth. I personally refused to watch one minute of anything related to the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and to this day have stayed away from watching or following the games in any meaningful way. The happy postscript is that in 1997 Billy Payne was invited himself to become a member of Augusta National, and in a development that many could have predicted, became the chairman in 2006. During his tenure the club has enjoyed amazing success and expansion, as well as welcoming women into the membership. One of the first is perhaps the most accomplished black woman in the history of American politics, Condoleeza Rice. That move officially made ANGC more “diverse” than Bill Campbell’s frat. While Campbell eventually became the mayor of Atlanta, presiding at the time of the 1996 games, his stewardship of the city during that event was notorious and widely condemned. My old friend Neal Boortz once described Campbell’s management of Atlanta’s cityscape and public areas during the Olympics as something you would expect of a shady carnival huckster, with the taste and greediness of an intoxicated, downtown pimp. Or something to that effect. Campbell was later disbarred and served two years in federal prison after being tried on a collection of corruption charges tied to his time in office, and his conviction on several counts of tax evasion. He is out now, and most likely living under a rock, or some equally smarmy place. And this just in, I am genuinely looking forward to watching Olympic golf this summer, and shaking the hand of the eventual gold medalist, exactly one year from this week.

aUsTin RhOdes

A long-time radio talk show host who can be heard weekdays on WGAC from 3-6 p.m. The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. 7APRIL2016

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