Guide Room Bingo

‘TIS THE SEASON TO GET JOLLY, FALALALALA LALALALA. AND THAT – ALONG WITH THE FACT THAT WE HAVE THE MATURITY OF 12-YEAR-OLDS – IS WHY WE HAVE DEVISED A DRINKING GAME BASED OFF THE CLICHED INSTAGRAMMING MUSINGS OF FLY FISHING GUIDES, SO-CALLED “PUBLIC FIGURES” AND AMBASSADORS VYING FOR RELEVANCE. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE POOR BUGGERS ARE ON THEIR OFF-SEASON, THEY ARE OFTEN FOUND SITTING AT HOME CHURNING OUT IMAGES FROM THEIR MASSIVE ARCHIVES OF OBSCENELY LARGE FISH. ARE WE JEALOUS? GUILTY AS CHARGED.

ONE MAN’S INSTA-GLORY IS ANOTHER’S STRAF-DOP.

HERE’S HOW TO PLAY.

• • YOU NEED MORE THAN ONE PERSON. THE PERSON KNOWN FOR TAKING THE MOST SELFIES STARTS. • OPEN THE INSTAGRAM APP AND SCROLL FOR ONE MINUTE • WITH WITNESSES. IF, WHILE SCROLLING, YOU COME ACROSS ANY OF THE FOLLOWING PHRASES (OR APPROXIMATIONS THEREOF), YOU NEED TO SHOUT BINGO! AND CONSUME • THE CORRESPONDING PENALTY. IF YOU ARE KNOWN AND SHOWN BY ONE OF YOUR COMPETITORS TO HAVE USED ANY OF • THESE PHRASES, THEY CAN PUNISH YOU WHEN IT IS THEIR TURN. • MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PERSON. THE SOBEREST PERSON WHEN PHONES ARE ALL DEAD IS THE WINNER, IT’S THAT SIMPLE.

DISCLAIMER: DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE OR DO ANYTHING ELSE STUPID.

Crime

“CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THESE FISH.” Clearly you can Kevin, because you just hashtagged 15 different species.

“FISH OF A THOUSAND CASTS.” Atlantic salmon, largemouth yellows and myriad other species get this label. Maybe, like the futuristic TV show of the 80s and 90s, we need to go…Beyond 2000?

“SLAB OF GOLD.” Cool your jets King Midas. That yellow is actually a dirty olive colour, while the other one is more silver. Don’t be lazy. “Slab of olive” is fine.

“IT ONLY COUNTS ON FLY.” Yeah but no but. Sell that to Rob Kyle.

“SUCH AN HONOUR/PRIVILEGE/BLESSING TO CATCH ONE OF THESE.” We knight thee, Sir Superlatives, Over-Exaggerator of the Realm.

“HITTING BACKING KNOTS.” OMG muscles, you must be so well-endowed.

“RIP LIPS.” Why be like that?

“HERE I AM AT LODGE X WITH MY GREAT MATE Y.” They can’t all be great mates, can they? Surely some are mild acquaintances?

“I’VE GOT <INSERT SPECIES> ON THE BRAIN.” Call Dr House.

“THESE FISH ARE SOMETHING ELSE.” Er…ok. Animal, mineral or vegetable?

“BOXES ARE STOCKED.” Gimp is chained. Coffee is sipped. Butt is wiped. Shoelaces are tied.

“COUNTING THE DAYS TILL...” Christmas. Us too.

“THE BEST PART IS WATCHING THEM SWIM AWAY.” A hackneyed and highly debatable statement. That’s the second best part. The best bit is THE EAT. We’ll fight you to the death on this.

punishment

1 BEER PUNISHMENT = 1 FINGER’S WIDTH OF BEER FROM YOUR GLASS

BACK ISSUES (AND NEW CAPS)

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