The Moon Zine #12 - Future (Aug 2016)

Issue

#12

/ future

Aug

2016

Dear Readers and Moon Luvers, The future is unknown, but it also kind of isn’t. Future is built on the present and you create that! You could go to the pool every day for 100 years and probably evolve gills or something - hey, it can happen. Does that scare you? Are the endless possibilities of tomorrow overwhelming and/or exhilarating? Whatever the future is, look for wisdom from these soothsayers: Magic 8 balls, Ms. Cleo, Zoltar, Cassandra, Raven, fortune cookies, Future - “Low Life” (feat. The Weeknd), L. Ron Hubbard, the Mayans, Nostradamus, and the horoscopes found in this zine!

For future themes, submission deadlines, and anything else, be sure to check in with us on the world wide web. (See last page.)

Like our previous issues, the numbered pages are original submitted content. Other pages are altered by yours truly and unique to each edition of the issue. Thank you for taking a chance and picking up our zine. Hold on to it, or pass it on to the most state-of-the-art zinester you know, as The Moon Zine is one of a kind.

To Infinity and Beyond, The Moon

the moon zine staff bios:

Julie Davis - Wasted 4 yrs learning about shit that already happened Allison Sissom - Gotta catch ‘em all Wes Harbison - Everybody needs to know: The St. Louis Public Library has scraps from the Egyptian Book of the Dead!!!!!!

Lauren Kellett - probably going to the library tomorrow to touch the Egyptian Book of the Dead Josh Saboorizadeh - Steak n Shake chili lasagna

staff picks: what you wanted to be when you were a kid

Julie - boring stuff, like a teacher Allison - A ballerina, I used to twirl around and refuse to wear anything but dresses Wes - An archaeologist who constantly finds intact dinosaur skeletons and shiny old cups Lauren - An Academy Award winning movie star (wasn’t interested if awards weren’t involved) Josh - Bus driver — it was somethin’ about that huge steering wheel

missed connections in 2036

by Andrea Klipsch

highway crash - m4w

we both merged and flipped each others car at the exit. even though you busted your head open and I broke my right leg and arm, our bodies are now self-healing like wolverine so we didn’t check to see if each other was alright. also we didn’t have to trade information because our cars are transformers now and insurance isn’t a thing. but I really felt like I was flying when our eyes locked mid-crash, and I mean we were technically flying thru the air but I felt something more. contact me if you did too with the highway and exit name so I know its you.

•

do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

the netflix, the netflix reloaded, and the netflix revolutions – w4w i’ve been living in the netflix, binge watching shows every minute since 2015. it finally hit me all the women throughout my life that i have missed out on meeting at bars, on mars and in bazaars as I laid on my couch. sorry to all the women i would have loved if i didn’t love solitude, take out Mexican and unlimited streaming of dramas, sitcoms & chopped so much.

•

do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

that future concert with the dead guy holograms – w4m

we struck up conversation about Future at his son Future’s concert and how we personally never got it but everybody still loves him. Then 46 yr old, alcoholic taylor swift came on stage to restart her career as a stunt woman and jump a unicycle shaped hoverboard over all 1,989 of her ex’s. she didn’t make it and obliterated the last three, selena gomez’s son, jonah hill, and johnny depp. without saying sorry once, she fake cried into the microphone, and we rolled our eyes at each other and agreed they wouldn’t be missed. but then Future didn’t show so they just had the holograms of prince and bowie on stage for the 20th anniversary of their deaths. we all left since this has happened at every concert, festival and award show this year. wish I had used my retina scanner or my iphone 62S to get your info and follow you on all 27 social media platforms.

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1

do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Expert

by B.B. Nothing i'm an expert of my own mind taking familiar faces and carving them with perfect personalities that say exactly the right things to influence & interact better people for a better world but only believed in by me i'm an expert of my own mind spinning reality the right way in all the wrong ways for my own belief filled with fiction figments of future possibilities probablys not prone to happen though when they do i know i must be an expert of my own fate

Maybe One Day. Maybe Never.

by Natalie A.

Pt. 1

Your past

Did not matter to me Like it used to.

Pt. 2

I only looked at our future.

You only looked to your past.

It didn’t matter anymore.

Pt. 3

What If.

Could Be. Too Late.

2

ANGEL FROM A HALLMARK CARD

by Delia Rainey In the future, I picture my body bloated, floating towards the sun like a big balloon or a bird or an angel from a Hallmark card.

In the future, I will wear powder blue dresses in the grass and smoke weed and read all the classic literature books I got to skip over in high school. I will buy fancy cheese from the grocery store and be alone.

My phone will be so advanced in the future. I can ask Siri anything I want. I will ask her, “plz buy me French fries” & “does he think about me in the shower?” & “how did I die?”

I will cry more often in the future. My lover will have to swallow my tears whenever we sleep side by side. In the future, I’ll have a lover who will only meet me in the technological spaces that don’t exist yet.

The dampness of the world will increase – we will drink water all the time. We’ll swim in bigger oceans.

In the future, will you watch my dog when I’m out of town? Will you help me edit my Linked In profile? Will you fuck me somewhere, when no one’s looking – the alley of the city that I dreamed of?

I like flowers a little too much, but the future doesn’t have time for flowers. All of them will melt or drown. Flowers become food in the food shortage. Flowers become clothes, bedding, and reminders.

I always pictured the future as you and I holding hands and walking in the city.

We’d be wearing jeans and somehow this would feel sentimental. The image is similar to that one Bob Dylan album cover. We are in some gentrified neighborhood and there are fire escapes and autumnal colors, the colors of puddles.

When I walk to my car, you’ll wave goodbye. I will want to swallow every drop.

The light of the moon will hurt me. Bloated angels will walk the earth, everywhere.

I won’t know you anymore.

5

Forever?

by Bob Boston ***********

Pluto is a Planet

by Bob Boston ***********

6

GOSPEL of THE HIGHWAY.

By Sithara Ranasinghe

Time is cyclic, but right now it feels like a poker-straight highway.

You’re tearing down the backroads as the tin can radio blares. There’s nothing in your head but dizzy starlight and shaken responsibilities, burned into the sickening romance of the midnight road. You’re drunk on the rock and roll renegade, on the motorway serenade. Your head thrown back in laughter, your hands grip what they can. The howling night is tied up in that foolish gunslinger grin, game for the showdown. It’s cinematic, blazing like the most sacred revelation. The prophecy bears one word, and that is tonight.

The car races past a highway supermarket. You burn past leaden tableaux of wilted, heavy-headed fifty-year-olds and you don’t even have time to vow never to become them. Nothing is inescapable. Not now, not tonight. The moon sits in the palm of your hand, clasped between your fingers, and you’ll hurl it out of the car window – even toss it carelessly into the backseat. Who needs it? Heaven scrapes your fingertips. You’re cradled in pools of streetlight glow, regaled by rapturous stars, an infinity of spinning light.

Somewhere in the future, a dental hygienist watches you through the proscenium of nostalgia.

You’re eighteen forever.

9

“Big”

by Kat Toomey

The woman in the train station, Holding her children and sobbing over her missed bus.

Her broken posture, her hastily packed bags.

“I can pay for your transfer. What happened?”

The confession through a tear-choked throat: “I couldn’t get us out of the house because he was still there.”

I imagine her future— Always checking behind her in grocery aisles, Every man a threat; The oldest daughter watching her mother’s bruises heal, But not her confidence; The youngest asking, “Where’s daddy?”

But I imagine the slow, roiling freedom Creeping into the lives of this family.

I imagine the mother overcooking the spaghetti at dinner and Not being beat for it.

How she and her children would laugh about it And how they’d throw the chewy noodles away and Order takeout instead Because she has a job now and spends what she makes on Herself and her babies.

She is no longer defined by the man she left.

She was never defined by him.

He built a dictionary and tried to force her into it, But she was bigger than his words, Bigger than his control.

She is too big for her future, But that won’t stop her From living it, From building it, From never looking back.

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13

Look Closer

by Quin Severo ************

Longing For You

by Quin Severo ************

Eye 70 by Julie Davis

When I opened my eyes For the very first time, What I saw Was a two-story cow Waiting for us Big and Beautiful, I guess.

We didn't stop for her though.

We headed straight into The Valley of Radio Death Strapped in tight, holding hands No U-turn No U-turn Anyone out there Ever feel like you're already living In a post-apocalyptic world?

Where all anybody ever does is drive.

Where humans ward off monsters with crosses, and scarecrows, and blood on their doors.

Where pillows don't exist.

by Jacque Davis ************

15

Space And Time

by Quin Severo ************

17

CHECK PATIENT LINE . home dialysis

by Josh Saboorizadeh ****************

19

20

Critique

by Drea DiCarlo The painters huffed and spit. They shifted their weight and cocked their heads and shifted their weight again. One inhaled sharply, as another said, ‘hm’. One of them coughed. They squinted. One of them spit. They painters had a diversity to express, through their rich, bodily language, their feelings on the work at hand.

Fuck this they said.

Rose-Colored Glasses

by Quin Severo ************

22

24

Space Chic by Kassy Fox ******************

26

THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HANDS

with the mystical art of auto-alectryomancy you need: hand chicken materials

corn, grain, or other thi ngs

small and grainy

this divination zine

maybe the moon

maybe an incantation [see below]

steps:

a) use natural avian shape of your weird human hands to make a chicken. add eyes beak maybe glue some feathers to it b) scatter thin layer of corn-grainthing on opposite page c) unleash hand chicken to peck at the corn-grain-thnigs d) when hand chicken is finished interpret the design left bu the hand chickens pecking: what letters and words can you see? and what does the shape say? e) it’s ptetty much your first instinct f) consider the ethical implications of your means of disposing of your hand chicken g) live your life accordingly Note on incantation: incantation can make your hand chicken smarter and convivial, so consider using the following format to make an incantation of your own: ‘Chicken chicken eat please eat, by your wattle, by your beak; ready your hackle, fluff, and spurs; pick a peck of pickled peppers’ \ You really can’t fuck this up.

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Text for auto-alectyomancy | compiled by Shawn Bodden when the inches are sprawling and uneven even in winter perhaps open a few more of the windows and draw spirals from the oily marks where your nose pressed against the glass because you were looking outside playing that game where things far away can seem very close and very large if you put your eyes to it and swap around some of the logics you’re used to in fact it’s quite likely this will be one of the last games you ever play as most last games are eye games are ways to see a bit differently and to shift your focus since any given moment your perspective is different you might say you’ve always been playing this game or its played you but not in a bad way in a chess way and it’s not so bad to be a pawn if it’s strategically placed (or just made out of stone or something kind of nice like that) and besides the metaphor of a giant and or invisible hand isn’t so contrived given the many hands in our lives kinds of tugs and guides and also and we don’t like it too often but also those hard shoves from the left jerking you toward the ditch running along the interstate where much of the garbage between St. Louis and Kansas City likes to collect in an impressive vein of multicolor some feudal banner some significance of who we are and how we live snickers wrappers umbrellas and the transparent lids of gas station cups which model volcano in the mud and make a habit of moss so there’s no surprise that archaeologists look for the trash heaps to read a little out of ancient stories since it’s as gorgeous as deertrail conceptually but lacks the sense of mind to fade in its own time though again winter can take a crack at it with the radical patience of water heaped in banks sloping against each other in the stillframe summary of the hectic emblem schools of fish swim in white bellies which spend the entire ocean hiding from the sun no wonder snow melts so soon no wonder a dead fish floats in a sidelong glance the crab is another game you might play with your fingers and please consider this is a long-term commitment at best you start by going about your day normally as whatever you’ve decided that means will suffice and each every interaction with the world remember today it’s not a hand but a little crab who lives at the end of your arm and takes an interest simply by habit in things smaller than you notice considering the smallness of a crab’s eyes ear-bone tiny this is not surprising and use this new wrist neighbor a chance to see many smaller things and not a big thing like your friend’s fingerprints or the coral texture of a drumstick when you’re grasping them most crucial is minding the language metaphor of our body and your new crab body is rooting for home in most any surface so let creases grab your attention and look at those hands gesturing your world less as hands and as homes or mouths the basic arithmetic of crab life and consider the derivation of words as impressions on the body which now that your fist is chitin covered might leave your vowels tinging and your consonants anemone persistent dangling upward in a feast on the light that wags down through the dust which yes we can spend time resenting but also we can look at as slough and soon to be stuff once it’s settled but let’s abandon the tired image of dust in wind because we at least can fathom slightly how nice the brief jostle of being a crab must be even on a dying coral reef which we might come at scientifically as bad bad yet a crab down there on the white husked earth-skin knobbing the bottoms might take in pin by pin thin eye happily

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august 2016

the future foretold

BORE-OSCOPE YOUR LIFE | IT’S BORING | DON’T BE MAD ABOUT IT by madame dim

LIBRA (Sept 24 - Oct 23)

Insta is straight blowing up after you posted that pic of the egg sandwich you made for Bae. It doesn’t matter that they were being a total jerk about it when you were frying it. Who eats eggs sunny side up? Gag! Everyone knows over-easy is where it’s at.

You should’ve gone to chef school. You are pretty much amazing at everything you do. *Selfie* #DoingMe #Keepingit100 #EggSandwich #Blessed

This is going to be the summer of YOU. This summer you are going to lose weight, pick up a hobby, and finally decide whether you and the significant other are going to “take it to the next level.” As per usual, you tell your partner “whatever you think is best.” That summer bowling league registration is overdue, so, I guess you’ll have to think of some other hobby for this summer. You know you like some exercise, but nothing too physical...

Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept 23)

SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 22)

Your OkCupid account has been getting more hits than a recently divorced dad at a Dead and Company show. Toss aside all those insecurities and quit using the “I’m not feeling well” card when those late night messages from admirers pop up on your phone. It’s not an ulcer that is causing that stomach pain; it’s your hypochondria and excess worry of running out of toilet paper. If anything happens at all this month, it will be because you took the initiative to ask your handsome neighbor if they could please stop their dog from shitting on your side of the shared lot.

Danger is your middle name, and this month gives you the opportunity to exercise your natural cut throat skills. Just check the carbon monoxide meter at your residence, because even Scorpions are susceptible to suffocation.

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LEO (july 24 - aug 23)

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You can’t believe so-and-so was so butt­ hurt over you last Facebook comment.

Seriously? Some people just can’t take a joke. That vacation trip you took was the envy of all your friends, and that’s probably why; they’re just jelly. Mountain climbing, horseback riding, craft brew and bonfires... you know the true meaning of summer vacation. But all that excitement aside, it’s time to curl up with Hemingway and judge everyone. They’ll get over it.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Parties, parties, parties...Do you ever tire of them? Slowly sipping cocktails and whining and dining. It’s the glamorous life and you never know where networking can take you.

You always wear the latest from New York and are consuming the trendiest diet. Newsflash: Helio diet isn’t working. You for real can’t live off of only yellow colored foods.

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Can you please just finish that DIY project?

And gaucho pants went out of style in 2009.

Stop trying to make them work. Like “fetch” from Mean Girls, it’s just not happening.

There aren’t ghosts in your house, you can’t see the future, and you aren’t smarter than everyone else. You’re just weird. Get over it.

Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20) The new flame is steadily showing their true colors. What are you ever going to do without the fantasy? Welcome to Netflix and chill, tampons under the sink, and arguments over what’s for dinner. The chase is over, and the monotony begins. Thankfully, Mom will get off your back but obviously will demand pictures of the new beau and the eternal question, “WHEN DO I GET GRANDBABIES???”

Aries (March 21 - April 20) trying to get swoll this summer? working to improve your physique for the pool rats?? go ahead and purchase that new protein powder from hsn. the $6 blender you got at last week’s garage sale is thirsty for muscle milk!!! the charts have forewarned: make sure the cap is on all the way. your face is especially susceptible to ice shrapnel. lucky numbers this month are 9, 1, and 1.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Prepare for another weekend of pizza rolls and OITNB. Lookout for strange stains on the carpet. Where did that even come from? WTF is that smell? Whose Tang is this in the cabinet? Do they even make Tang anymore? God dammit, I am so sick of roommates. AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO CLEANS? Gemini (May 22 - June 21) OMG Chad’s pool party was so off the hook, and you want to keep that tan line going. This month, you’ll be out and about with new acquaintances from in-patient after that little incident at your ex’s last Tuesday. Should you meet your mother for that lunch you’ve missed the last three times (for very good reason) or should you catch up on your beauty sleep? SO many decisions! It’s hard being popular and also bogged down with your part-time job and cats.

Cancer (June 22 - July 23) You’ve been feeling like a real bummer as of late, but fret no more because this month you will be seeing sunshine in August.

• the ingrown toenail which has been giving you hell will finally abate • the bank is retracting that last overdraft charge • your coupon collection is the envy of your grandmother and all her friends

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cool

grandma by

taylor

kolkmeyer

Someone created a religion I like, finally Rocking in my chair Old as fuck So she knocks on my door, so she says, Your relationship with world is not random We believe all your troubles were chosen A past life looked at your little zygote and said she will be this and she will struggle with this because your past life knew From what they had learned in their life that you could overcome those particular pains Your path was given to you by your own legit soul. It was all meant to happen. You belong here. fershure.

I rock on my chair like damn it’s about time some cool idea came my way like that Now I’m a member Society of Belonging And we totally belong here On this chat room every Sunday My grandkids are like you **would** join church, grandma That’s such a grandma thing to do They’re at my dinner table like Pedophiles are people, too.

I'm kinda weirded out At newest social movement They’re like well if you don’t treat them like monsters they don’t become monsters.

Can’t act like they don’t exist grandma, it won’t make them go away.

I’m like ehhhh I guess that makes sense, disgusting tho And they record it, several views, “intolerant grandma” I didn’t even know I guess I don’t really care, I can’t keep up, not even with jokes house is kinda quiet, I’m just chillin on my phone internet has given all us a new place to go Society of Belonging meets every Sunday for example We talk and laugh, replace “hello” with “You Belong” We sing on skype all our new songs I don’t yell at dinner table about being on those phones...

I’m just happy we all found a place where we belong

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Rock Quarterly cover

by Anthony Acri *************

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Want to Submit to The Moon Zine?

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Credits front cover: Images taken from pages 112, 428, 430, 501, 676, and 705 of 'A Comprehensive

Reference Book on Practical Coal Mining ... Fourth edition' (Identifier: 003851826) & from pages 420, 421, 448, and 462 of 'The Universal Mining Code for the use of mining companies, mining

engineers ... The Code words specially selected to comply with the Telegraph Convention rules, by G. Ager' (Identifier: 003499688), The British Library

back cover quote: from "The Problem of Increasing Human Energy" by Nicola Tesla, published in The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, June 1900 Thanks eternally to: Everyone who has helped us collage The Moon Zine

special thanks to: Jacque and Don Davis and Maddie Smith for additional printing assistance

Want to Submit to The Moon Zine?

Please do! Submissions are due by the 5th of each month for the following month’s issue. See themoonzine.tumblr. com/HowtoSubmit for submission guidelines.

The Moon Zine on the Internet: themoonzine@gmail.com

instagram.com/themoonzine

issuu.com/themoonzine

facebook.com/themoonzine

themoonzine.tumblr.com

twitter.com/themoonzine

Credits front cover: Images taken from pages 112, 428, 430, 501, 676, and 705 of 'A Comprehensive

Reference Book on Practical Coal Mining ... Fourth edition' (Identifier: 003851826) & from pages 420, 421, 448, and 462 of 'The Universal Mining Code for the use of mining companies, mining

engineers ... The Code words specially selected to comply with the Telegraph Convention rules, by G. Ager' (Identifier: 003499688), The British Library

back cover quote: from "The Problem of Increasing Human Energy" by Nicola Tesla, published in The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, June 1900 Thanks eternally to: Everyone who has helped us collage The Moon Zine

special thanks to: Jacque and Don Davis and Maddie Smith for additional printing assistance

made in saint louis, missouri, usa

“The

sun

the

earth

the

moon

is is

the the

is

the

- Nikola Tesla

fREE

past, present, future�