The Tales of Lilly, The Mud Life Dog

Call Housekeeping

Lilly is the perfect dog...almost.

I say almost, because when we picked her up for that initial weekend to see if we got on, the only three things that were on our list were:

• No chewing of furniture

• No peeing when she got excited

• Good in cars

After being besotted by those big brown eyes, she never went back, and two years on, I can tell you that she satisfies those three criteria, well the 'good in cars' is the slightly less than perfect bit.

She isn't 'bad' in cars, but she's part Whippet, and so she likes to be moving fast, so when we're on a motorway she settles down and watches the world travel by, but put her in a slow, stop-start urban situation and she gets a bit whiney.

Obviously green-laning is the ultimate slow driving that sets her off - not ideal with her being The Mud Life Dog!

We have solved this situation - I get out of the car with Lilly, Damian drives off and does the entire lane, stopping to take loads of photos, whilst we have a merry jaunt around the wilds of Britain, and then we eventually catch up at the end of the lane and hop back in. It's not the ideal situation, but it gets me out and moving, so I suppose her foible is actually making me fitter, if somewhat begrudgingly.

Other than this she really is perfect.

Which other dog could be left in the house alone with a cooked chicken or her own food thawing on the side, and you come back and none of it has been touched? Maybe a teeny dog that can't reach the side, but Lilly is a bouncy, medium-sized dog who could easily reach, and doesn't. Perfect.

From the day she arrived we let her sit on the chairs and couch in the lounge (we have throws), but we didn't let her on the beds. She's never even tried her luck, then one day I was sat on the bed in the back bedroom/office chatting to Damian, and she came in. I wasn't in the mood to bend over to give her belly rubs, so I tapped the bed and she happily launched herself on the bed (it also has a cover) and settled in. That has now become Lilly's bed, because she has decided that I stay up too long at night watching telly, and the little madame likes a quiet room to kip in.

With my invitation to jump on the bed, I worried that I may have created a rod for my own back, and that I would probably end up waking up at some point with a furry bum in my face. But no! To this day Lilly has never set foot on our bed, she knows she isn't allowed, and so she doesn't. Perfect.

The only bad habits she has are the ones that, unfortunately, we have created. But even her bad habits are pretty useful.

When we have pizzas at home we buy in frozen ones, but as you'll know if you have ever bought one, the toppings are pretty paltry, so we like to add a bit more. This involves grated mozzerella, but grated cheese has a way of going everywhere, including the floor.

You would think Lilly would be straight in there, but she doesn't, she sits patiently waiting to be allowed. Perfect.

If you are in a swanky hotel, and accidents happen you call down to reception, and they send a member of housekeeping to clean things up, and it's the same in our house. Lilly stays put until she hears the magic word...."Housekeeping", and she runs in and completes her clean up task. The cheese vanishes up the hoovering snout, and all is good.

This technique has worked on dropped raw eggs, bits of biscuit and toast crumbs. It's truly brilliant, and the best bit is that there is no tipping involved....well an ear scratch is free and makes her very happy.

So as I said she is perfect, almost, but we wouldn't change a hair on her furry belly, and yes she is spoilt, but why the hellnot. Until next month, Toodles.