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Love and Valentines
From the Editor Valentine’s Day. It’s the day when you can practically hear the shrill squealing down the hall in your residential college of the girl who just got flowers, chocolate and some stuffed creature from her boyfriend of two weeks. It’s the day of the eye rolls, the ear-to-ear smiles, the bragging and the endless complaints. It’s the day a good boyfriend never forgets - even if he scheduled the reservation a day before. There are the anti-valentine’s dances, parties, movie nights and kegs. It’s a day filled with one question: independence, or a relationship? Which is really better? Until recently, I always thought a relationship would require me to give up something that defined me. The phrase “tied down” always came to mind. Maybe it was because I had
been in restricting relationships or watched my friends suffer through them. Valentine’s Day wasn’t about celebrating a relationLexy Gross ship – it was about trying to Editor-in-Chief remind myself why I was in one. Years later, I realized that sacrificing part of who I was and friendships I made wasn’t worth it. On the day of all cliches, I look forward to celebrating my independence as well as my relationship – because to me, they’re both important. I’m sure some of you can’t wait for the teddy bears and the overpriced candy, but whatever your personality type, make sure you don’t lose
The News February 7, 2014
The News it in a relationship. I know it’s something you’ve heard your friends and parents say for years, but relationships should bring out the absolute best in you. You don’t need Feb. 14 to know if you’re where you want to be in life. You shouldn’t need flowers or cheap gifts to understand where you stand. Make sure you aren’t sacrificing yourself to please someone else. Finally, a Valentine’s quote from my favorite author, F. Scott Fitzgerald, to all of you wonderful Murray State kids out there: “I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity and her flaming self-respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and that is the beginning of everything.”
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The News February 7, 2014
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The News February 7, 2014
Breaking the bank: Five dates on a college budget Hunter Harrell || Features Editor hharrell@murraystate.edu
Fancy dinners and expensive wine aren’t exactly ideal on a college budget. Couples having a difficult time scraping up the money for a Valentine’s Day date might need alternative options. Valentine’s Day does not have to be all about couples, though. While it is easy to succumb to the stereotyped, sappy Valentine’s Day or the depressing Single’s Awareness Day, the day can be a fun holiday for everyone. photos from sxc.hu
1. Dessert-only date
2. Free activity on campus
Who wants to be miserably full while trying to enjoy the night out with a loved one? One of the best parts of any meal is the dessert. To keep costs low, couples can vouch for going out for ice cream, cheesecake or pastries only. Instead of spending money on an entire meal, meet up and splurge for a late night snack. A dish of ice cream or cheesecake of the fanciest variety is at most $5 a slice. Make it a trip and visit a well-known frozen yogurt bar or Cold Stone Creamery. At most the trip will cost $20 - just enough for a little gas money and the sweet cravings. This date is guarenteed to make the taste buds and the wallet happy.
College campuses are always holding events for free including concerts, lectures and mixers. Whether the residential colleges are hosting Valentine’s Day parties in the lobby or the music department is holding a free concert, students can take advantage of the numerous free activities. Dress up, go out and enjoy the night on campus as a couple in a new setting. However for the singles, find an activity on campus where other singles can mingle. Students may be more willing to meet new people on Valentine’s Day through events like an “Anti-Valentine’s Day Party.” The best part is this kind of night out is guaranteed to be free.
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4. Take a dance class For couples, taking a dance class on Valentine’s Day can open up the door for a new hobby. Learning traditional dances as opposed to the bump and grind can be a wonderful party trick at future weddings. Couples might even experience a few good laughs from the lesson. Dance classes are also a unique way for singles to meet other singles, which can make for a less lonely Feb. 14. Salsa, tango or square dance to the heart’s desire. Dance class prices range from free of charge to $10 per person.
3. Netflix night in
5. Enjoy the outdoors
Stray away from the typical day cuddled next to each other and make specific plans. Couples often have lazy days together, but a few extra preparations can make any lazy day together feel more like an actual date. Order a pizza, stock up on soda and eat dinner at a table together dressed up. Afterward, pick out movies to watch throughout the night including horror movies, comedies and dramas. Enjoy the rest of the evening swaddled in pajamas. Pizza and soda at most will burn through $20 of that hard-earned cash. Just be careful not to fall asleep too early after eating all that pizza.
Whether it be a hike or a walk across campus, a day or night out talking and walking can strengthen both relationships and muscles. Nature has less distractions, which allows couples to focus on each other, rather than the other couples in the movie theater or restaurant. If a nature walk is not ideal for a night out due to inclement weather, other options are available for outdoor fun. Sledding during the day and warming up by a fire while sipping hot chocolate at night adds a romantic touch to the day. Assuming hot chocolate is on hand, the cost of nature is minimal - zero dollars.
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The News February 7, 2014
Racer engagements
Emily Miller and Tyler Straub
Meghann Anderson || News Editor manderson22@murraystate.edu
He was a Sigma Chi. She was a Sigma Sigma Sigma. Two people, from two different states, who called Murray State their home for four years are now getting married. Emily Miller, alumna from Athens, Ga., said she randomly decided to come to Murray because she did not want to be close to home, so she found Murray State after looking at universities online. Tyler Straub, alumnus from Louisville, Ky., chose Murray State because of its location in relation to the lakes and his interests in hunting and fishing. The two met at Murray State during their sophomore year, but did not start dating right away. “I knew who he was,” Miller said. “But he had a girlfriend and I just wasn’t interested in dating someone, really.” She said she was not expecting a relationship with Straub, but looking back, she said she was glad things worked out the way they did. “I hung out at the Sigma Chi house a lot because my big in the sorority hung out there with her boyfriend,” Miller said. “That’s how we became
Photo courtesy of Emily Miller
Murray State almni Emily Miller and Tyler Straub are getting married in September. friends. That’s how we started dating.” Miller said during their sophomore year they were at a party right before school started and that’s where their relationship began. “From there it kind of just happened,” Miller said. “I don’t even really know how. We started dating and
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we have been together ever since.” After graduating from Murray State in 2012, Straub took a job in Mobile, Ala., at a contracting company. Miller though, had a harder time finding a job. “It took me a year to find a job close to him,” she said. “Finally when I found a job close to him, I think that’s when he realized it was time to take the next step.“ After more than four years of dating, the two former Racers became engaged Dec. 28, 2013. They plan on getting married in September on a farm outside of Birmingham, Ala. Miller said the Shoe Tree is one of her favorite things about Murray State. “I’m excited that I actually get to do it,” Miller said. “I don’t know when we will be able to come back, but I would like to come to Homecoming.” Miller said she and Straub will put shoes on the Shoe Tree next time they visit the University. Miller said Murray State means a lot to her. “If I would have never chosen to leave Georgia and come to Murray and join a sorority I would have never met Tyler,” Miller said. “My life would have been a lot different. I’m grateful that we both wound up in the same spot.”
The News February 7, 2014
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Shake things up with new date ideas Katrina Yarbrough|| Staff writer kyarbrough@murraystate.edu
Love is in the air and cliches are not Red and pink have always signified the day for couples to take their relationships beyond the norms of the day-to-day. Valentine’s Day brings about the decision to take a significant other to the most expensive restaurant and dip into the savings account for that nice necklace in the jewelry store window. Why not think outside the box and cancel those reservations?
Sleep the day away Staying indoors can be done in different ways. Cancel plans for the day and leave all of the electronics off. Make it a point to stay in the bed unless a lunch or bathroom
break is needed. This is a good way to be close to each other and have those conversations no one ever knew could come up. Maybe a future vacation trip will be planned and maybe the real winner of a 5 a.m. Monopoly game will be announced.
Get the hell out of Dodge Can’t decide on a place to eat? That’s not a problem. Just pick a direction, fill up the gas tank and drive. Being in a bigger city makes this date a bit more exciting and can be done almost anywhere if the couple is up to it. Begin with the first restaurant, fast food included, and start counting. Count each one, until finally, 100 is reached. The 100th restaurant is the place will serve as the night’s dinner spot. The point is not to spend a bundle of money on a food that has a
name you can hardly pronounce. It’s to work together and turns decision-making enjoyable.
Couples karaoke
give the star an embarrassing pet names no one should ever hear. Make sure to purchase the star the day before or during the morning of the big day.
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Romantic songs can be the perfect way to express feelings to a person. There are thousands already recorded that would be simple to find on iTunes but that’s too easy. Get a computer or some paper and write a song together.. Talent needs to be thrown away and feelings need to be expressed. Creating things together signifies the ability to open up and be entirely one’s self with another person.
Buy a star Buy and name a star for each other. Although this can be something to do any day of the year, most people don’t think to do it on Valentine’s Day. Be creative and
Make a wish come true It’s the time to really get what you want. Write down all of your wishes on strips of paper. The wishes can be as simple as wanting the other person to wash the car, do the laundry or buy new living room furniture. Some examples of complex wishes are plan a surprise vacation, adopt a pet together or get matching tattoos. Fold the pieces up, put them into two bowls and have the other person pick at least three of the wishes they want to come true. If there are enough wishes in the bowl, each person can agree to fulfill one wish per hour throughout the day.
Endless Love is back for round two Madison Wepfer || Staff writer mwepfer@murraystate.edu
Valentine’s Day movies should make couples fall further in love and cuddle close to each other. They should not make the viewer fear their significant other is going to turn into a psycho if the relationship ends. That being said, let this be a warning to couples looking for a romantic movie to watch Friday night- do not choose the classic, “Endless Love.” “Endless Love” has the reputation of being the ultimate sappy romance movie and “the greatest love story of all time”. Brooke Shields is pure perfection. And, to top it all off, it has that sentimental 80’s charm. Jade and David, two high-school kids, share a passionate love affair. They go everywhere together and do everything together. When Jade’s parents find out that her and David are sleeping together, her father becomes livid and forbids the two lovers from ever seeing
Photo courtesy of moviegoods.com
Photo courtesy ofaintitcool.co
“Endless Love” was originally released in 1981.
The new “Endless Love” premiered Tuesday.
each other again. David has a hard time handling their separation, to say the least, and becomes desperate to get Jade back in his life. One night, David sets Jade’s house on fire so he can save the family from the inferno and win back their love and acceptance.
Unfortunately, Jade and her family find out that David started the fire. Jade’s family testifies against David in court. Meanwhile, Jade moves on and both her and David’s parents’ marriages are on the rocks. When David is put on probation, he tries to find Jade but instead finds her
brother, Keith. Keith still holds a grudge against David. Keith tells the police that David broke his probation by being near Jade’s family and is sent back to jail. Several years pass, and David gets out of jail. He travels to find Jade and win her back. Twists and turns unfold on his journey for Jade and her family’s acceptance. Although the film is the ultimate display of passion and love, all of the characters and events are psychotic. The fact that David does everything in his power to find Jade and love her unconditionally is romantic, and everyone loves a classic story of forbidden love. However, passion is not a strong enough word to describe the raw emotion in this film. “Endless Love,” even if it is the greatest love story of all time, is neither of those things. The version from the 1980’s is not recommended for Valentine’s Day sweethearts. The newer version may be a little less terrifying. The new version of “Endless Love” premiered Tuesday.
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The News February 7, 2014
Tri-Sigma attends Sweetheart Dance
Photos submitted by Ashley Taylor
(Left) Members of Tri-Sigma attend the annual Valentines Day Sweetheart Dance at Easter Seals. (Above) Tri-Sigmas pose at the Easter Seals fall festival, another event hosted by Easter Seals.
Students spend valentines volunteering away from home Rebecca Walter || Staff writer rwalter@murraystate.edu
While Valentine’s Day typically signifies hearts, dinner dates, chocolate and romance, for the members of Sigma Sigma Sigma it means an opportunity to give back to the community. For the past five years, the members of Tri-Sigma have taken part in the Sweetheart Dance hosted by Easter Seals in Paducah, Ky. Easter Seals is an organization that services children and adults of all abilities, as well as those with disabilities and certain special needs. Ashley Taylor, recruitment adviser for Tri-Sigma and employment connections manager at Easter Seals, said Tri-Sigma members are able to mingle with clients at Easter Seals, dance, eat snacks and have a good time. “It is great to see the girls interact with this project,” Taylor said. “It really is a wonderful thing and brings the peo-
ple at Easter Seals so much joy.” Taylor said each year she is blown away by the number of Tri-Sigma members who participate in the event. For Julia Hilkey, senior TriSigma member, there is great joy that comes from being a part of service projects such as the one through Easter Seals. “(The Sweetheart Dance) is one of the most rewarding service projects (Tri-Sigma) participates in,” Hilkey said. “It is one of the most meaningful experiences I have taken part in.” She said one of the best parts of the experience is to see the look of happiness in the people of Easter Seals’ faces. “It is something that really lifts their spirits,” she said. “They really enjoy being around so many happy and friendly faces.” Hilkey said the women of TriSigma enjoy being around the people at Easter Seals just as much. She said it is an environment where everyone can be themselves, free from judgment.
Taylor said the clients at Easter Seals ask every year if the members of Tri-Sigma will attend the event.
It is one of the most meaningful experiences I have taken part in. - Julia Hilkey, member of Tri-Sigma
The Sweetheart Dance is not the only project Tri-Sigma takes part in through Easter Seals. Members are also involved in Easter Seals’ annual Fall Festival. “(Tri Sigma members) really care about the individuals they meet through Easter Seals,” Taylor said. “You can tell they really care about them.” This year’s Sweetheart Dance falls on Valentine’s Day, and Taylor said she still expects to
see several Tri Sigma members come and participate. “It is important for everyone, not just those in organizations, to give back to the community,” Taylor said. “It teaches a sense of humbleness and helps you to appreciate your fellow man.” Taylor said the partnership Tri Sigma has with Easter Seals is something she is grateful for, and hopes will continue in the future. The dance takes place in Paducah at the Knights of Columbus Hall. Taylor said the dance is usually held at the Robert Cherry Civic Center, but due to its annual success, the crowd eventually out-grew the building. Hilkey said she encourages all students to participate in community service projects and to try to make a difference. “I find a lot of happiness in helping other people,” Hilkey said. “When you help someone out, they feel good and you also do as well.”
The News February 7, 2014
Love and Valentines
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The News February 7, 2014
Women’s Center helps students in abusive relationships mbradley9@murraystate.edu
“It only gets worse! Get out now! I did, so can you!” reads the inside of a second floor women’s bathroom stall in Faculty Hall. Handwritten on a domestic abuse flier adhered to the stall of the door is a call to action from an anonymous survivor of an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy relationships, ranging from emotional to sexual abuse, affect 43 percent of college women, according to a study by Knowledge Networks through Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love is Respect. The same study also showed 38 percent of college students wouldn’t know how to get help for themselves in an unhealthy relationship, making Murray State’s Women’s Center and other available resources important additions to a college campus. Abigail French, director of the Women’s Center, said many of the students that go to counseling are unsure if their relationships are abusive or not, but find that their relationships are beginning to negatively affect their lives. “They’re coming in because they can’t go to class, their friends are mad at them or they’re crying all the time and it’s having an effect on their social relationships and course work,” French
Photo from sxc.hu
Many students deal with unhealthy relationships while in college. said. “There’re a lot of feeling like they’re not good enough, depression and sometimes isolation from friends.” While French said the Women’s Center has seen mostly nonviolent cases of unhealthy relationships, Murray State’s Merryman House representative Brittany Schulz deals with cases that bring women to the house’s crisis center in Paducah, Ky. Schulz, who helps women mostly above the college age, said the Merryman House offers support to
those who need counseling and a safe, gated place to stay. Additionally, the Women’s Center and the Merryman House have partnered for the semester, bringing representatives to campus every Thursday to meet with students and faculty who may need assistance. Both the Merryman House and the Women’s Center believe the first thing to do to prevent abusive relationships of any type is to educate women and men on having healthy relationships.
“A healthy relationship is one where you have mutual trust and mutual respect and your needs are valued as much as the other person’s,” French said. “We try to educate on boundaries and if one person is telling you that you can’t talk to people, hang out with people or call your family, then those are signs that you’re not being respected and neither are your boundaries.” She also said actions that are shared by healthy and unhealthy relationships can be normalized by society, for example, making jealous behavior seem like a common occurrence in relationships. Schulz said it is important to pay attention to how you feel in a relationship, which can help determine the difference between healthy and unhealthy behavior. “If you have any slight feeling that it is unhealthy, it more than likely is,” Schulz said. “Not respecting boundaries is normally the beginning of it and it can progress to worse things.” While the Women’s Center and the Merryman House aim to educate students on the signs of unhealthy relationships and how to prevent them, they want students to know they’re not alone. Said French: “Our goal is to make sure that students know there is a place to go.”
Five movies to watch on Valentine’s Day
Compiled by Ryan Richardson
Cliche
Tearjerker
For Her
For Him
Scary
“The Notebook”
“P.S. I Love You”
“Love Actually”
“Knocked Up”
“My Bloody Valentine”
Photos courtesy of imdb.com
Mary Bradley || Staff writer
The News
Love and Valentines
February 7, 2014
Don’t be mine I don’t gaze desperately at the Shoe Tree every time I pass it in the Quad. Nor do I burn every heart-shaped object I can get my hands on this month. This puts me in quite the conundrum once Feb. 14 comes around. People can’t wrap their heads around my lack of feeling toward the most passionate holiday of the year. The truth is, I could not care less about your dozens of roses or about your “Lonely Hearts” anti-Valentine’s Day party. I have no idea what my idea of a perfect date is, let alone what my ideal Valentine’s Day would be like. In the manner of full disclosure, I wasn’t even that comfortable with handing out valentines in elementary school – I had personal issues with the “every classmate needs one” philosophy. And just like more than a decade ago, I still don’t think every person needs a valentine –
that way of thinking fuels the ideology that I need someone to be fulfilled. Newsflash: I don’t. I don’t need to be reasKayla sured by every friend MacAllister Chief Copy Editor that it’s OK for me to be single – I know that. On the other hand, I don’t hate the mere mention of a happy couple – healthy relationships seem pretty awesome. Logistically, despite saying for years that “I don’t have time, Mom” to the boyfriend question, I suppose I could make time for a relationship. I have a knack for finding time for things and people that matter to me. But that isn’t the point. Finding
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From the Copy Desk
another person to be one of the highest priorities in my life is just not one of my priorities right now. On the flip side, I am busy making resumes and cover letters, working a couple of jobs and taking trips to wherever my little heart desires. The past three years of college have been filled with pressure to find “the one.” Instead I have been finding out who I do and do not want to be. The person I want to be does not base her worth in someone else’s view of her – single or not. So, buck up and realize that Feb. 14 will not be the worst day of your life, nor will it be the best (unless you get engaged or something equally as cliche). It will be another day. Valentine’s Day will probably not change your life. You will either hear all about plans for the “most romantic date ever” or all about plans for a gathering
based on blocking out the thoughts that you and your friends will not be going on the “most romantic date ever.” But at least you have each other, right? Last year I went to St. Louis, Mo., for a Timeflies Tuesday concert. This year, I will take all of the hours at work that everyone else asked off for. Then I will reward myself the next day by watching my sorority sisters and dozens of other crazy people jump into Kentucky Lake for Polar Bear Plunge in support of Special Olympics athletes. The day filled with red and pink and love will soon be upon us. Recognize it, get over it, wait a day and buy some half-price chocolate. To quote my favorite comedian, Aziz Ansari: “I got to go do literally anything I want because … all my options, are still options.”
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The News February 7, 2014
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Getting married?
Robert O. Miller Conference Center Located in downtown Murray, this historic building is the perfect place to begin a lifetime together. Marble trim, large windows, ŗŞȬ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ information or to tour the facility, call the Murray Convention & Visitors Bureau at 270.759.2199 .