VALENTINE’S DAY How to navigate, celebrate and simply enjoy Feb. 14.
A special publication of The Murray State News
Valentine’s Day
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From the Editor
I’m going to preface this From the Editor by saying that I am listening to Ed Sheeran at the moment so I can’t guarantee what level of sappiness is Mary Bradley about to follow. I also have Editor-in-Chief attempted to write this multiple times, with the idea that I have to write something substantial about love for the Murray community. However, I think this is where my problem lies – I cannot tell you how to love or what to think about Feb. 14. I could tell you that Valentine’s Day is centered too much on couples. Cue the oversized 6-foot Valentine’s Day caterpillar I found in Kroger. I could tell you that everyone who is single or just got
out of a relationship should hate Valentine’s Day to it’s red and pink-colored core. I could tell you the entire holiday is a complete waste of time and was fabricated by greeting card companies to generate more sales. However, I don’t believe any of those statements, because if you don’t believe Valentine’s Day is worth it then that’s what you believe, which is just as valuable and valid as someone believing the holiday is the greatest of all the holidays. There are so many opinions floating around about Valentine’s Day that Cupid has no space to fly anymore. And while I contemplated telling The News’ readers one thing or another about Valentine’s Day, it is not my place. So, for those who love the love holiday, go forth and do so as extravagantly as you want and spread love to everyone.
Tell your significant other they have a beautiful mind. Tell your mom that just because there is distance between the two of you it doesn’t change how much she matters to you. If you hate Valentine’s Day, you have a right to do so. You don’t have to celebrate it if you don’t want to. This is a pattern that I, personally, have begun to see about love: you have to approach it one way for it to be right. It’s odd to meet on dating websites. It’s weird to want to always want to be in a relationship. It’s not normal for your relationship to contradict specific cultural standards and still receive protection and equality. Why does any of it matter? Let your freak flag fly and believe what you want, because at the end of the day, you should love who you are first and foremost.
The News
February 13, 2015
Table of Contents 3 Hot holiday date night 4 Declassified survival guide 5 Army couple faces, defeats challenges 6 From slideshows to true love 7 Don’t let distance keep you apart 8 A final thought Cover photos by Fumi Nakamura/The News featuring Murray State couples: Brennan Handley and Taran Coleman (top, right) Tessa Howald and Robert Broadstreet (top, left) Kayla Adams and Hunter Garrison (bottom, right) Taylor Rhoades and Kaleb Adams (bottom, left)
The News
Valentine’s Day
February 13, 2015
Hot holiday date night
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How to celebrate the holiday of love on a college student’s budget Madison Wepfer || Assistant Features Editor mwepfer@murraystate.edu
Valentine’s Day is coveted by some and hated by others. Whether you look forward to a holiday filled with love and heart-shaped candies or you see it as a day filled with pressure to impress your significant other, date nights are something all couples have in common. When the big day comes, don’t fret. Rich or poor, you can have a fun-filled Valentine’s Day with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Here are some ideas:
FREE – BOOK CHALLENGE
Go to a bookstore – Barnes & Noble or a local shop – and make a scavenger hunt for your significant other. You two can look for things like a map of a place you would like to visit someday, something that reminds you of your childhood or a recipe you would like to make together. Not only is it cheap, last it also allows you to learn new things about your partner.
$ – RUMMAGE SALE Antique shops and garage sales are always a recipe
for adventure. You never know what you’ll find. Make a date of going to different shops like Peddler’s Mall or Angel’s Attic and look for quirky pieces. You may find anything from an old record player to a tacky Christmas sweater. This date is basically free unless you find something to buy, dusty trinkets can be oh-so-tempting.
$$ – NETFLIX NIGHT IN AND MOVIE
You can never go wrong with dinner and a movie. It’s a classic date night and for a good reason. Plan a dinner that you and your significant other can cook together. It can be something as easy as frozen pizzas or as fancy as steaks and a bottle of wine. This date can really be whatever you make of it. Just choose your recipe – or wing it – and cook dinner for two, choose a movie and voila! You have an inexpensive but fun date night.
$$$ – ICE SKATE IN NASHVILLE, TENN.
Winter is upon us, and it’s hard to think of fun things to do when everything that is not indoors looks like a frozen tundra. However, there is at least one thing you can do to take advantage of the cold weather: ice skating. There are ice skating rinks in Nashville, Tenn., so make it a road trip. After you’re finished skating, the two of you can hit a coffee shop and warm up with hot chocolate.
$$$$ – DINNER AND A SHOW
Getting dolled up and going out on the town is our final and, unfortunately, most expensive date idea. Guys, even if you just put on a tie and a spritz of cologne, you’ll surely knock her socks off. Ladies, put on a cute dress and do your hair. It’ll make you feel like the bell of the ball and, more importantly, it’ll make his jaw drop to the floor. Patti’s 1880s Settlement is a great, fancy choice. Then head over to Playhouse in the Park or a Murray State theater for some quality, live entertainment.
Valentine’s Day
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The News
February 13, 2015
The declassified single’s survival guide for Amanda Grau || News Editor agrau1@murraystate.edu
I’ll be the first to say I’ve struggled with Valentine’s Day in the past. It’s easy enough to tell your couple friends “it’s just another day” and knock it down with a few swings of the “society/money/greeting card company rah rah rah” bat. But the fact is, being lonely (notice I didn’t say single) can suck. Instead of sitting around simmering in your solitude, here are some ways for We The Singles to spend our V-Day.
BLOW MONEY ON YOURSELF
If you were in a relationship, you’d be spending all of that money on your significant other anyway, so take advantage of this opportunity! Has a pair of shoes been catching your attention lately? Is there a video game you’ve been dying to get your hands on? In the immortal words of Aziz Ansari: “TREAT YO’ SELF.” If there’s a movie you want to see, go see it. Who cares if you’ll be surrounded by kissy-faced couples? If you want to
know if the chemistry between Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson is really going to set people’s loins on fire, strut into the theater like the boss you are and see “50 Shades of Grey.”
DON’T WEAR PANTS
Thank goodness Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year. The last time the holiday occurred on Saturday – when singles everywhere can legitimately spend 24 hours pants-less – was in 2010. That’s five years of needless pants-wearing. Let’s take this rare occurrence and celebrate!
MARATHON
Whatever you’ve been wanting to binge-do, do it. Do you want to crochet an entire line of puppy sweaters? Feb. 14 is your day my friend! Have you been looking to expand your collection of origami animals? You have a solid 24 hours to create an entire zoo. This year I am going to catch up on the “Breaking Bad” hype that I missed out on eons ago (I know, I know). My Valentine will be Netflix. Maybe we’ll get crazy and add Hulu to the party.
Valentine’s Day
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Valentine’s Day
PLAN YOUR SPRING BREAK Nothing pulls you from a singles’ self-pity party faster than thoughts of a sunny beach and a school-free week. Google exciting places Kim Kardashian has vacationed. Then Google cool places you can afford. Print out photos and decorate your room with visions of oceans to come. Text all of your coupled friends excitedly and let them marvel at how ahead of the game you are. HOST A SINGLES DAY PARTY Nov. 11 is the official day China celebrates Singles Day, but I won’t tell on us if you don’t. Celebrate the Chinese way by spending all of your money online or pull your single friends together and watch classics like Fatal Attraction and Titanic. Both should remind you staying alive is way more fun than a relationship.
ORGANIZE YOUR MUSIC
Before you write this off as mind-numbing and tedious, hear me out. This is an opportunity to add whatever music you want to that library fearlessly, and with matching cover art. How long has it been since you’ve busted a move to your favorite guilty pleasure? Those hips don’t lie: you may have 99 problems, but an un-organized library won’t be one of them.
HATERS GONNA HATE
Every day is yours; Valentine’s Day is no different. Whether you want this Feb. 14 to be like any other Saturday or to be the start of your next great adventurethe choice is yours. In the grand scheme of things, this lone Valentine’s Day isn’t going to make or break your life, or even your semester. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
The News
February 13, 2015
Valentine’s Day
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Army couple faces, defeats challenges
Photos courtesy of Klaire Kobart
(Left) Klaire and Michael Kobart attend a Military Ball. (Right) Klaire and Michael celebrate their engagement after he proposed in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle in Disneyland with Michael’s entire family watching. Breanna Sill
Features Editor bsill@murraystate.edu
For some couples, being able to spend Feb. 14 with the person they love is typical, but for military couples, being able to spend that day with the person they love is a nothing short of a dream come true. Klaire Kobart, senior from Indianapolis, and her husband Michael Kobart, originally from Los Angeles, have been married since August. Although Klaire is student at Murray State, Michael is in the Army and stationed at Fort Campbell in Fort Campbell, Ky., and this Valentine’s Day is their first spent as a married couple. The two met on an online dating website called Plenty of Fish where they instantly knew the other was going to be someone special. After that, Klaire and Michael and another friend of Klaire’s who had also met someone through the dating website had their first date at the Applebee’s in Murray. “It all just pretty much took off from there,” Klaire said. Three hundred and sixty-four days
later, the couple eloped. to get married had been in the cou Klaire said she was wearing a ple’s minds for a while. Michael had T-shirt and a ponytail and Michael proposed to Klaire at Disneyland in was wearing shorts. front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle and There was nothing fancy about the his entire family. spur-of-the-moment decision, she “The day he proposed was the day said. I actually met his family,” Klaire “We were both said. “So sitting there one before he told day in his apartthem everyment because thing about we were moving me and asked him in and we them if they knew were going wanted to to do somemeet me and thing soon,” she while we were said. “He said at Disneyland he didn’t want they gave him to have to be the OK and in the barracks told him to do and move all my it.” stuff over again The couple’s and we looked entire courtat each other ship wasn’t - Klaire Kobart, senior from and we were always a like ‘You know fairytale. The Indianapolis, Ind. what, we’re tired couple spent of waiting; let’s seven and a get married now.’ And we drove half months apart during their year of dating after Michael was deployed to Tennessee and got married that to Afghanistan. day.” Although the wedding may have Due to the death of his father, been spur-of-the-moment, the plans Michael’s deployment was cut short.
“
I think about the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with the person who gives me those butterflies and it’s the best feeling in the world.
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He was able to take leave to come home and be with his family, allowing the pair to see each other fairly regularly. The two hour distance between Murray and Fort Campbell seemed like nothing next to the ocean that separated them before. Klaire said the silver lining of having to spend the weeks apart is the feeling the two get when they are reunited. “Every time I go to see him I get still get butterflies,” Klaire said. “I get super sweaty hands and my heart starts beating really fast and I’m so nervous. But I just think about the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with the person who gives me those butterflies – it’s the best feeling in the world.” Klaire also said the key to making their long-distance relationship work is communication. She says without communicating to each other what they think and feel, they would never be able to make it work. For their first Valentine’s Day as a married couple, Klaire said they will meet her parents in Louisville, Ky., and spend the day picking up her cats and going on a double date with Michael and her family.
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Valentine’s Day
The News
February 13, 2015
From slideshows to true love Lucy Easley || Staff writer leasley@murraystate.edu
It was love at first slideshow. Grecia White, junior from Fort Rucker, Al., met her fiance when she was a freshman at Murray State. After her first semester, White considered transferring to a different school to be closer to home. This didn’t sit well with a then close friend. Using the magic of Microsoft, he made a list of reasons she should stay in Murray and put them together in a PowerPoint slideshow. “I still have the PowerPoint,” said John Eads, White’s now fiance. “She had plenty of things to stay for. I told her that her friends were here, and she was getting involved with RCC (Residential College Council) in Springer.” The slideshow did the trick and White stayed at Murray State. The two became engaged in January of 2014. The couple has come a long way since December 2012 when they started dating. They met through the residential colleges, where they celebrated their first Valentine’s Day by making dinner in their room. Now, two years and more than 3,000 miles later, they are still celebrating, but in a very different way. Eads recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in social work and now works for the Peace Corps in Peru. White, however, is still in Murray working on her degree in fisheries and aquatic biology. The couple is used to distance, and even once spent seven months apart. However, the distance doesn’t stop either of them from accomplishing their goals.
“We know exactly when we’ll be back together,” White said. “There are no elements of uncertainty. Nobody gives up their dreams or careers. It just works.” The two became engaged before Eads left to work in Peru. After being together for more than a year, Eads decided it was time to propose, sans slideshow presentation. He planned to pop the question when the couple took a trip to Florida. “I started to propose four or five times,” Eads said. “I knew she was going to say yes, but it still made me nervous.” Using his grandmother’s ring, he decided to ask at the beach as they stood in the water. “As soon as he pulled the ring out, I was worried he was going to drop it,” White said. “The whole thing was kind of surreal. The day really was perfect.” Though a date is not set, the couple has other things planned for the future. Once White graduates in May 2016 and Eads is done serving in the Peace Corps, the two plan to travel in South America together. White and Eads said they haven’t discussed details of the wedding in depth, but they agree on one thing: their dream wedding would be somewhere in the mountains. “It would be nice to have just family and close friends attend,” White said. As for the near future, the couple has made Valentine’s Day plans together despite the distance. “We will probably just watch a movie over Skype together,” John said. From slideshows to Skype calls, the couple makes certain their relationship stays unhindered by the distance.
The News
February 13, 2015
Valentine’s Day
Don’t let distance keep you apart
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Assistant News Editor Mari-Alice Jasper has learned a few tricks to help while in a long-distance relationship We are 3,964 miles apart and have been for more than a year. I was never more aware of the distance between Murray and Kilsyth, Scotland, than when he told me he loved me one morning last March. Paul and I met through a gaming website that I wrote reviews for. He wrote for a more official gaming website and, when he came across my blogs, he helped me improve. We began talking less about gaming and more about life. Eventually, it turned into love. For the first year, we were strictly an online couple. In January 2015, we met for the first time. We went on “holiday” together and it pretty much sealed the deal: we knew we wanted to do this no matter how hard. But there are certain things that you have to do to make
a relationship like this work. TALK TO ME, BABY
A successful long-distance relaMari-Alice Jasper tionship Assistant News means thorEditor ough communication. When you’re so far apart, you don’t have the luxury of relying on body language. You have to learn to say what you mean. For us, “the silent treatment” is not an option. Not talking brings a halt to everything. You have to be willing to talk about the things that make you uncomfortable. I JUST WANT YOUR TIME In today’s fast-paced world it
can be easy to brush people off, even when they are people who you truly care about. Theophrastrus, a Greek philosopher, said time is the most valuable thing that a man or woman can spend. In a long-distance relationship, aside from the occasional gift ordered from Amazon, the only thing you have to offer your significant other is your time. With a six-hour time difference, keeping in contact gets complicated. To deal with the time problem, we usually set aside time each day to have a Skype date. Sometimes we cook together and have a meal. Other times we rent a movie and have some popcorn. The time together doesn’t always have to be so planned – it just has to happen. APPRECIATE THE QUIRKS One of my favorite things
about our long-distance relationship is the opportunity that I have to experience another culture on such a personal level. Even though we are both speaking English, it can get pretty confusing at times with my Southern accent and his Scottish accent. We’ve gotten up in arms about the proper way to pronounce “potato and tomato” more times than I care to count, but it’s the little quirks that make our relationship interesting to each of us. BE THAT COUPLE Everyone knows a couple that goes overboard for every anniversary and holiday. As a member of a long-distance relationship, you have to be that couple. Almost no one will judge you; you’re in a relationship they already don’t under-
stand. Celebrating holidays keeps a long-distance relationship strong because it is something that you can do together. It creates memories that will hold you together through the hard times. SETTING MILE MARKERS Sometimes, I think of our relationship as a project. For any project to be successful, you have to break it down into reasonable segments. For our relationship to be manageable we are adamant about setting goals. The goals can be as big as finally closing the gap, and what our plans are for living together, or as small as having a Skype date every Friday night. What’s important is that there is an objective we are meeting. Having no end in sight, can be taxing on your relationship.
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A Final Thought
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To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life. – Victor Hugo, Les Miserables
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