‘Tentropy’

(Entropy... with tents)

Over

the last weekend of April, I was compering on the main stage at the ‘Into the Valley’ Rally at Driffield Showground and on the Saturday afternoon I presented my first ‘Smacked Arse Comedy Show’ of the year.

This was my first rally in nine months, due to the privations of the pandemic having put the mockers on so many events once again.

Though I had been looking-forward to getting back to rallies and entertaining the finest audiences on the planet, I feel no shame in admitting to being somewhat less excited about the prospect of a return to camping!

I quite enjoyed camping at events even throughout the 1980’s and the early 1990’s when my camping kit consisted of a 1960’s single-pole canvas tent, a piece of tarpaulin for a ground-sheet, six tent pegs and a lightweight sleeping bag with the same tograting as a dishcloth.

In those days I could happily sleep naked in a snowstorm as long as I was pissed enough.

By the latter few years of the 1990’s the relentless march of arthritis had forced me to upgrade my kit to include a modern two-man tent and a somewhat more robust sleeping bag, though I was just as likely to crawl into them at silly o’clock in the morning and grab a couple of hours kip still wearing wet clothes.

Over more recent years, the whole camping thing has grown to be so damned painful and uncomfortable that I now thoroughly detest it, even when we have the opportunity to use the trailer tent that I bought six years ago.

Unfortunately, the trailer tent is currently in need of new wheels, so as the Into the Valley Rally approached, I contacted Jake at ‘Carry Nowt Camping’, he’s a lovely chap who, for a reasonable fee, will supply you with a good-sized tent and furnishings, ready-erected for you on arrival at the event. (For further info see: https://www.facebook. com/groups/148488665229790/ )

At least I wouldn’t have to go through the torture of crawling about in the wet grass pushing pegs into the ground on arrival and on the Sunday all we had to do was roll-up our sleeping bags and leave!

However, despite having the luxury and relative comfort of ready-made camping, and the great pleasure of introducing some excellent bands and presenting an epic comedy show, by the time we got back to Manchester I was really feeling the effects of a weekend camping.

I’m sure many older readers will understand when I say, the cold and damp had seeped deep into my bones and was making itself known with every movement.

Those who have never felt such torment should consider themselves fortunate and determine to pack as much joyful foolishness into their lives as they can before the ravages of age and infirmity come knocking and demanding restitution!

Just three-days after our return from the ITV Rally, my lovely wife Mandy and I were in a field near Knutsford to meet the guys who would be settingup two huge marquees and six smaller ones for the 29th You’ve Been Nabbed Rally.

I had been working on organising this event since December and not one single aspect of it had been straight-forward so far. Some regular suppliers of infrastructure and many traditional trade stands had not survived the economic despair of the pandemic and absolutely everything had significantly increased in price due to the runaway inflation caused by the Westminster Clowns.

To say that my stress levels were extremely high, would be an understatement on a par with saying that otters have slightly moist tits!

So, there we were, in yet another field, trying to ensure that the marquees are set-up as per the site-plan I had submitted with the licensing applications. Once the corner pegs of the marquees were in place, Mandy and I began putting-up our own colossal tent, which was to be our home and office for the next five-days. The rain started as we pulled the tent out of its bag, by the time we got the bugger up we are soaked to the skin and my back and knees were screaming out for Gabapentin and Oramorph!

NB. When Khyam claim that a tent is ‘Quick Erect’, it ain’t necessarily so!

The following day we returned to the site where Mandy and two other volunteers set-up more than 100 tables and 600 chairs in the marquees while I put in place the 70+ new signposts that I had made at home earlier in the week and moved eight water points to allow for our new security-dogs zone around the perimeter.

By 2pm, we had 40+ volunteer marshals on site, each of them beavering away like the heroes they are to get the site set-up and ready for the arrival of 2,000+ bikers.

By Friday lunchtime, when the gates officially opened, the number of volunteer marshals had doubled but we were still well short of the 125+ we usually have working on the event.

I would estimate the average age of our volunteer marshals to be about 45-years-old, and this being a fundraising event organised by The National Association for Bikers with a Disability, many of them suffer from disabilities and medical issues of their own.

By the end of what proved to be an utterly fabulous event, you could feel the pain and fatigue emanating from many of the marshals as they picked litter and began disassembling the event.

I am writing this article exactly one week after returning from the event and I am just getting my pain levels back to ‘normal’. I know for a fact that many of our marshals have suffered similarly or even worse for their efforts, and it is worth mentioning here that none of us receive any pay for these efforts.

So why write this article?

If nothing else, it is a plea to all rally-goers to treat volunteer marshals with the respect they have earned and truly deserve!

It is also a plea to the hearts of some younger, fitter, bikers to volunteer to help the NABD with its 30th Anniversary of the You’ve Been Nabbed rally in May 2023 by contacting Tina via secretary@ thenabd.org.uk because I for one, don’t mind admitting, “I’m getting too old for this shit!”.

Rick Hulse