The Newsy Neighbour June Issue 140

NEWSY A Complimentary Magazine for Strathmore, Langdon,Chestermere & Area

The

June 2019 Issue 140

Neighbour Magazine

THE GET TO KNOW YOUR

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NEWSY The

Neighbour Magazine

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A Master Planned Residential Community in Strathmore, Alberta

PHASE 4 LOTS NOW AVAILABLE

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Part of Alberta Health’s strategy to ensure that Albertans receive comprehensive primary care is via Primary Care Networks.

As the name suggests, a Primary Care Network (PCN) focuses on PRIMARY CARE. We want to maintain your current good health, manage health challenges, and prevent health issues from becoming serious.

Through this network, you have access to registered nurses, foot care nurses, geriatricians, family counselors, die��ans, and diabetes educators - all working together to ensure greater con�nuity of care for each pa�ent.

These health specialists offer free one-on-one appointments, as well as classes on nutri�on, exercise, health, and mental wellness complemen�ng the care you get from your family doctor.

Primary Care Networks help people access the health services they need when they need them.

PCN specialists know their way around the health care system, and can navigate your best path.

Alberta has 41 PCNs. In the Strathmore area, your go-to team is the Calgary Rural Primary Care Network. Get in touch. We’d love to help you be as healthy as you can be!

Strathmore Bay H, 510 Highway 1 403-901-0142

Check out our FREE classes at www.crpcn.ca, and connect with us on Facebook 4 •

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11.

12.

Great Reasons to be a Guy

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2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

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Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

9. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

10. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

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Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

13. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

14. Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.

You don't mooch off other's des15. serts.

16.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

17.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

18. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

19. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.

20. You almost never have strap problems in public.

21. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

22. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

23. You don't have to shave below your neck.

24.

At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.

25. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

26.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

27. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

28. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

29. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes

Father’s Day Father’s Day to me is almost like Christmas when it comes to celebrations, as there are so many wonderful men in my life I love to celebrate.

Let me first start off with my amazing daddy, the man that raised me to be a strong woman in so many areas of my life's journey, and is a wonderful poppy to my children. Thank you, Dad, for always caring for me and loving me the way you do.

To my Father in-law. You are also an amazing dad and poppy to your children and grandchildren. Thank you for always supporting us and showing your son how to be the amazing dad he is today.

And Raymond, the daddy to my amazing little granddaughter. You are already a fantastic daddy to Aubrey; keep doing what you're doing, you also have a great teacher, your dad.

And then my love, my life, my everything, my husband Lorne.

He is what I believe is an amazing Dad to our children and a wonderful poppa to our granddaughter. You teach our kid’s kindness, patience, and perseverance. Our children are the wonderful people they are because they see and learn the wonderful qualities you have that makes you one heck of a dad.

So, readers, to me, these men are what I think makes a remarkable dad.

Thank you for reading, Happy Father’s Day!!!

Connie Greene The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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10 Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd bet-

ter be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can be a mistake. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier!

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "Early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk’s homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been, but on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, and then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside.

The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

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A Better You One Step At A Time

FOOTCARE & ENERGY

Advanced Foot Care, Reflexology, Reiki, Ionic Foot Cleanse, Raindrop Technique, Meridian Balancing, Balancing with Crystals and Oils, Healing Jewelry.

403.901.9472 | www.enlightenedsoles.ca

THE CHRONICLES OF LARRY AND ROGER:

A Pair of Diabetic Feet

Written by: Vicki L Myhre CPOD (I) CMP PFRP. Enlightened Soles. Internationally Certified Podologist. Registered through the Canadian Examining.

Board of Health Practitioners

Hi all, Larry here. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all you great guys out there. May brought some great weather for all our Mom’s on their special day, and it appears that June is going to be equally as kind to our Dad’s.

What are your plans for the special day? Roger and I have decided that a small hike and picnic is what we would like to spoil our human with. We will head out to the mountains and have an afternoon of wandering some easy trails and spreading out a blanket to have a Father’s Day picnic in the shade of the evergreens.

Roger, as usual, has his nose glued to his computer. He has been looking for great recipes for food to add to our picnic basket. Roger found this great list of tips for the perfect picnic on www.diabetes.org. It is a great list for Diabetics and Non-Diabetics alike. The other thing that he found is a low carb, diabetic Peanut Butter Cookie Recipe on www.diabetesstrong.com, which is amazing.

Give it a try, you will love these easy to pack up and carry cookies for your hikes and picnics.

Top tips for a perfect picnic

• Choose wholegrain varieties of starchy carbs such as wholemeal rice or pasta in salads, potato salads with the skins left on, and wholegrain bread for sandwiches.

• For cold meats, try leaner options such as chicken or turkey breast rather than salami or ham.

• Add crunch to sandwiches with extra veggies such as pepper, carrot, cucumber and lettuce.

• Use beans and legumes in a salad to up the protein content and to make it more filling.

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• Swap sugary and fatty treats such as cake and crisps for healthier alternatives – mixed nuts, fruit, unsalted rice cakes and low-fat fruit yoghurts make great replacements.

• Sip on water, no-added sugar squash or diet drinks to stay hydrated.

• Make your own dips, dressings and marinades from scratch at home to avoid the high fat, sugar and salt content from shop-bought varieties.

• From playing games to going for a walk, combine your picnic with some physical activity to maximise the health benefits.

Low-Carb Peanut Butter Cookies These low-carb peanut butter cookies are a great healthy treat, not only are they delicious but they also are made in one bowl using just 5 ingredients!

Ingredients 1 cup smooth peanut butter no added sugar 1 large egg 2/3 cup erythritol 1/2 tsp. baking soda 1/2 tsp. vanilla essence Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C) and line a cookie tray with baking paper. Set aside.

2. Add the erythritol to a Nutribullet or blender and blend until powdered. Set aside.

3. Add all of the ingredients for the peanut butter cookies into a mixing bowl and mix until a smooth dough forms.

4. Measure out 2 tbsp. of the dough and roll between your palms to make round balls and place on your cookie tray.

Continue until all the dough has been used.

5. Use a fork to press the cookies down and bake for 12 - 15 minutes depending on your oven. Once they have cooked, remove from the oven and allow to cool for 25 minutes on the cookie tray. Don't touch them yet!

6. Once they have cooled on the cookie tray, transfer the The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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peanut butter cookies to a cooling rack and allow to cool for a further 15 minutes.

Nutrition Facts. Amount Per Serving.

Calories 140, Calories from Fat 94, % Daily Value*, Total Fat 10.4g16%, Saturated Fat 2.1g11%, Trans Fat 0g, Polyunsaturated Fat 2.9g, Monounsaturated Fat 5.1g, Cholesterol 15.4mg5%, Sodium 134.3mg6%, Potassium 5.8mg0%, Total Carbohydrates 4g1%, Dietary Fiber 1.2g5%, Sugars 0g, Protein 5.8g12%, Vitamin A0%, Vitamin C0%, Calcium0.2%, Iron0.5%, * Percent Daily Values are based on a 2000 calorie diet.

And that is a wrap for now. Enjoy your days, as spring moves towards summer. Our days get longer and warmer. Enjoy your family time, and your peanut butter cookies.

Until Next month, Make your Footprints Count.

Larry and Roger

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Wide selection of products including Gluten free

Phone: (403) 936-0124 Open 8AM-9PM Every Day! #101-97 Centre ST. S.W., LANGDON, AB Kyle Penn is a writer, a music-lover, and a lover of all things literary. He also owns and operates Ink Slinger, a small business devoted to content creation, copywriting, and social media management. For innovative writing solutions, reach out to him at kylewpenn@gmail. com.

Pushing the Boundaries of Creativity in Music

Exploring the Unique Soundscapes of Emre Cords Music is at its best when it’s free of restrictions. Unhindered. Unencumbered by considerations like genre or style or categories.

Think of your favourite bands, your favourite albums. All the best, most impactful recordings throughout music’s long and storied history have always been those that have brushed aside convention and forged their own path forward. Sure, there are plenty of great tunes that play it safe, but the most memorable music has never been afraid to go its own way (to paraphrase a brilliant case-in-point) – and that’s exactly the sort of music that Emre Cords has dedicated himself to making.

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If you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing Emre Cords live – or even simply the good fortune of viewing a video of him onstage – you’re immediately hit with the sense that this is an artist who sees things differently. Cords’ unique approach to music and performance is the first thing I asked him about when I had the chance to sit down and chat with him, and his answer was illuminating.

“I come from a production background,” he told me, his unmistakable timbre resonating thoughtfully. “I’ve been recording people for all my life. When you’re recording someone, you really kind of see what separates them and what makes them unique. So, I’ve kind of tried to bring that out in myself, too.”

This unique circumstance of Cords having had the opportunity to accumulate experience both in the recording booth and behind the mixing board certainly helps to frame his singular approach dedication to music composition and performance.

That said, anyone can take some SAIT courses on sound production and plop themselves behind an MPC; Cords, on the other hand, has had some serious, inimitable experience.

“I’ve been lucky enough to work with some very, very talented people,” Cords humbly related to me. “Legends, really. I’ve been in the vicinity of some amazing people as they’ve been making their own music – Jimmy Page, Dave Coverdale, Skinny Puppy, AC/DC, Daniel Lanois – and it’s really informed me to be able to amplify whatever is original and unique about myself and my music.”

That incredible list of names is more than just impressive – it’s inspiring, in the most literal sense of the word. When you get the chance to work alongside people that artistic, that talented, that driven, it changes you. Excites you. Encourages you to push yourself further, to be more creative, to realize your potential. It’s these thoughts that were running through my head when I asked Cords about his penchant for recording and producing live onstage – a feat that even in all my years of concert-going, I’ve only seen a handful of other acts even attempt, much less convincingly pull off.

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“What I do is this thing called looping,” Cords began. “I’ll record the chorus as it goes by, as I’m playing it, and I’ll store it.

Then, the next time that chorus comes up, I’ll sing other parts, or I’ll play cello, for example, over top of that same recording that was made a few moments ago. Recording live has kind of become part of my musical style.”

With nearly everything I asked Cords, his response left me incredulous and chomping at the bit with ten new questions I couldn’t wait to pick his brain about – like, for example, the casual way he just dropped in the fact that his multi-disciplinary background also included professional experience at the bow and strings of the cello!

“I’ve worked on a lot of film scores,” Cords explained when I followed up about this off-the-cuff detail, “and so I used to hire cellists a lot of the time to augment my tracks. I’d notice that the things they were playing were often very simple, yet very beautiful. One day, I couldn’t get a cellist, so I went out and rented a cello, and after playing it for the first time, I could never take it back! Guitar and cello just go so well together. The cello sounds like an acoustic version of a metal guitar – I use it as regular colouring to my music.”

To be able to just pick up an instrument and start playing it is a rare gift that few possess, and speaks volumes to Cords’ incredibly nuanced connection with music, production, and creativity in general – an understanding that Cords leverages to realize his inspired vision whenever he looks to produce his own material.

“I have my own full production studio now,” he told me, a hint of well-deserved pride in his voice. “Em Records. It’s set up in a really cool band house. We’ve got the old mixing console from the Calgary Philharmonic, lots of mics, tons of guitars, and some of the best tube amplifiers around.” It’s there at Em Records, that Cords has been hard at work with his band, Days Without Names, recording and producing their ambitious upcoming double album.

“We’re releasing a black album and a white album,” Cords shared with me. “The black album is heavy, driving stuff, while the white album is the same music, but done with cellos, acoustic guitars, drum brushes, that sort of thing.” The most exciting part? The Days Without Names CD release will be happening at the Firehouse Bar and Grill on June 22nd – the same night that the incomparable John Corabi will be stopping by for his exclusive, one-night performance. What an event!

At the end of the day, what stuck out most during my conversation with Cords wasn’t his incredible talent, or his storied career, but rather, his humble nature, and his devotion to his craft and to local music. “A lot of people have heard of me, and have heard me play over the years,” he concluded our conversation by saying. “But I’d encourage people to come out to a show and see what I’m doing now. I’m a chameleon, and my art’s always changing and improving. Come out to support live music. There’s so much local talent out there, all you need to do is make an effort to come out and see it, and you’ll be impressed.”

Do just that. Come out and support live music. Stop by the Firehouse to experience Emre Cords live on May 11 – and if you’ve already got tickets to the sold-out Mötley Crüe 94 & More event on June 22, you can look forward to an incredible night of live music starting with the Days Without Names CD release party and culminating in a once-in-a-lifetime intimate performance from the incredible former Crüe frontman, John Corabi himself. We hope to see you there!

GDON’S OWN LAN EST. 2017

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JUNE 1

GIL TOUGAS JUNE 7

FRAID KNOT EAST COAST NIGHT JUNE 8

ERIC VERMETTE JUNE 14

JUNK JUNE 15

ANDRE SCOTT

JUNE 28

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SHERI YOUNG DUO JUNE 22

JOHN CORABI WITH SPECIAL GUESTS EMRE CHORDS & IN-VERTIGO TICKETED EVENT

June is THE Month For LIVE MUSIC!!

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ha ha

I look so peaceful when my kids are sleeping.

WHAT ON EARTH IS CAMBOGIA GARCINIA? Every time I go to Shopper’s Drug Mart or Costco, I take my usual gander down the vitamin aisle just to see what the new fad is this month and there always is something new.

On my latest visit to Costco I noticed “Cambogia Garcinia”; sounds like a name of a country or something, but as it turns out, it is a tropical fruit also known as the Malabar tamarind and is a popular weight-loss supplement. People say it blocks your body's ability to make fat and it puts the brakes on your appetite.

The active ingredient in the fruit's rind, hydroxycitric acid, or HCA, has boosted fat-burning and cut back appetite in studies. It appears to block an enzyme called citrate lyase, which your body uses to make fat. It also raises levels of the brain chemical serotonin, which may make you feel less hungry. But does it actually work?

Please Call For An Appointment 403.668.7776

I read an article the other day saying that taking vitamins is a sham (don’t shoot the messenger). I read this article on healthline.com and it says because dietary supplements are not regulated, multivitamins may contain higher or lower levels of some nutrients than the label says. In some cases, they may not even contain all of the nutrients that are listed. There have been many cases of fraud in the supplement industry, so it is important to purchase from a reputable manufacturer. Also, the nutrients in multivitamins may be derived from real foods or created synthetically in laboratories.

This article stated that more isn't always better in nutrition. Although high doses of some vitamins and minerals are fine, others can be seriously harmful.

Vitamins are categorized into two groups, based on their solubility: Water-soluble: Excess amounts of these vitamins are expelled by the body.

Fat-soluble: The body has no easy way to get rid of these, and excess amounts may build up over long periods of time. Examples of fat-soluble vitamins include vitamins A, D, E and K. Vitamins E and K are relatively nontoxic. However, vitamin A and vitamin D can exceed the body's storage capacity, with toxic effects. Pregnant women need to be especially careful with their vitamin A intake, as excess amounts have been linked to birth defects. If you eat a lot of nutrient-dense foods and then add a multivitamin on top of that, you can easily exceed the recommended daily intake of many nutrients. Smokers should avoid multivitamins with large amounts of beta-carotene or vitamin A. It may increase the risk of developing lung cancer.

Minerals may also be harmful in high-dose supplementation. For example, high doses of iron can be downright dangerous for people who don't need it.

I have gotten way off track here; this article was supposed to be about “Garcinia Cambogia”.

A review published in the Journal of Obesity found that

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people who took “Garcinia Cambogia” in studies lost about 2 pounds more than people who didn't take it. The reviewers couldn't say for sure that the weight loss was because of the supplement. It could have been from the lower-calorie diet and exercise programs the people in the studies typically followed. Better studies are needed to find out if HCA really helps people lose a lot of weight and keep it off.

It may make it easier for your body to use glucose, the sugar your cells need for energy. Mice that got it had lower insulin levels than mice that didn't. That's another reason, besides weight loss, that people with diabetes are interested in it. However, if you're taking it along with a medication to control your blood sugar, your glucose could get dangerously low. Also, research has found that it can also improve cholesterol levels, lowering triglycerides and LDL (the "bad" cholesterol) and raising HDL (the "good" cholesterol). But you shouldn't use it if you're already on a prescription for your cholesterol.

In 2009, the Food and Drug Administration warned everyone to stop using a weight-loss product that contained garcinia cambogia because some people taking it got serious liver problems. The product had other ingredients, too, so it's not clear that it truly was to blame. While some research suggests the supplement is safe for your liver, other research says no.

As with anything in life, you must make your own decision, but my motto is do your research FIRST before you start taking vitamins, minerals, herbs or any natural supplements.

Stay Healthy!

Kathryn Hartwell Reference: WebMD.com

A telemarketer called and asked to speak to “the person that runs the house” so I handed the phone to my 3-year-old and went back to watching Paw Patrol.

I tucked my kids in last night and said “see you in the morning!”

And we laughed and laughed and laughed. I saw them 16 more times before sunrise.

How to calm a crying baby.

1. Pick baby up.

2. Ok, so when it turns like 5, you can put it back down. Good luck.

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• 15

Thursday June 13th 6-7pm Social 7-9:30 TALKs

Langdon, AB

Langdon Firehouse 716 Centre Street Langdon, AB TICKETS $20 online $25 at the door womentalk.ca

Women Talk Strathmore

Darlis is an entrepreneur with a passion for helping people in business, organizations and entire communities recognize their uniqueness and achieve possibilities they may not have thought possible. She believes growth and success start at the grassroots level… with people, and she uses training, coaching and facilitating to inspire positive change. She is a Board member of Women Talk Strathmore. Contact her at Darlis@DownToBusinessSolutions.com.

Celebrate the Differences "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth.

Deal with it." ~ George Carlin There are a lot of books written on the topic of how men and women tend to be different in their thoughts and actions. There are movies based on those differences (and the humorous misunderstandings that result). And many of us have likely heard of at least one of the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus books.

For example, it is often stated that men are instinctively Providers and Protectors while women are naturally Nurturers and Relationship Builders. Men generally think a problem through and speak when they have a solution, while women work through a problem by talking about it to find a solution. And the ever popular notion that women are much more likely to ask a stranger for directions when they are lost.

While studies have shown that some tendency differences are based on our social culture and the way each gender is raised, there are also scientific research which has identified that men’s and women’s brains are different in distinct ways. For example, women have a larger hippocampus (where memories are stored) and this contributes to their tendency to remember details of previous conversations and situations. They also process emotions differently once 16 •

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past puberty as they use more of their cerebral cortex (language and reasoning centre) which makes it easier for them to verbally express how they feel. And whereas men need to retreat or close off the world after a busy day in order to replenish testosterone, which reduces their stress and allows them to relax, women need to talk and process their day to produce oxytocin which is their stress-reducing hormone.

Neither gender uses a ‘right’ approach or moves through life in a better way, it is simply different. When people are aware of these differences, it can greatly reduce misunderstandings and conflicts. I have experienced this first-hand with my best friend who is a man. Although we share very similar values, beliefs and views on the world, we have often talked about how we approach many situations quite differently, often due to our gender differences.

Men are generally more logical, use body movement as part of their thinking process, get a chemical boost from competition and their friendships are based on common interests, activities and work. Women have a higher need for emotional connections in their friendships, being part of a community, feeling cherished and finding meaning in life’s experiences.

At WomenTalk in Strathmore, women choose to share their stories and experiences with those present, empowering themselves and others in the process. Last month, a Talker spoke about women’s need for a tribe who offered

Thursday June www.womentalk.ca 20th, 2019 | 7pm @ Strathmore Station For tickets visit: www.womentalk.ca Sponsored by: TICKETS: $20 Online Seeger Consulting Inc. $25 at the door The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

Serenity Wedding Gardens 5.5 acres of beautiful wedding-ready land with peacocks, goats, horses and chickens.

Only 15 minutes east of Strathmore

Stunning Views Amazing photoshoots Gazebo on the lake

Incredible Location For An Outdoor Wedding! support, love and acceptance. This is exactly what WomenTalk offers.

Through the stories told at the May event, the Talkers spoke of the importance of not ignoring that little voice inside us that tells us we are being foolish in our fears.

That we all have blind spots to who we really are and we need to be open to realizing who we really are and how we can make a difference in the lives of others. We heard about the value of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable because that is where true growth occurs.

That it’s ok to feel angry, disappointment and other emotions, and it is when we realize that our thoughts are not our circumstance that we can reframe our thinking and experience change. How strength comes from within once we believe in ourselves and that life can turn around when we have a new perspective and take a chance on ourselves. We also heard how gratitude can positively impact our lives in profound ways.

Women and men. Both genders are from Earth, not Mars or Venus, and while they have things in common, they also have different needs and ways of moving through life. Both are celebrated for who they are.

Come join us at WomenTalk in Strathmore on the third Thursday of the month at The Station and be part of our celebration for women. Book your tickets online at www.womentalk.ca/events and bring a girlfriend or two to enjoy the warm welcome that is waiting for you!

To connect to Women Talk in Strathmore, please visit https://www.facebook.com/womentalkstrathmore/.

Call Today! 403-312-1952

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Him: You don’t have to say sorry.

Me: Actually, I’m Canadian, so I have to say sorry at least 10 times a day or I lose my citizenship.

Cop: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never comin’ round.”

Cop: TURN AROUND!” Me: Every now-” *gets tased* Getting older is just one body part after another saying, “Haha, you think that’s bad?

Watch this!”

I think my coping mechanisms may be worse than my actual problems.

Things I want to know the answer to: 4.7% - is there life after death? Does God exist?

95.3% - What the message said that was “deleted by sender” before I had a chance to read it.

Me: Alexa, remind me to go to the gym.

Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list.

I do yoga to relieve stress.

Just kidding. I drink wine.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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Expressions like ‘The Mouth is the Gateway to the Body’ and ‘The Mouth-Body Connection’ have been making their way through clinics, conferences and research labs for decades.

But what do these expressions really mean when it comes down to the health of the mouth and impact on the body?

Periodontists (specialists in treating tissue surrounding teeth) are well researched and prepped when it comes to understanding the unique connection between oral health and systemic health. Periodontal organizations such as the Canadian Academy of Periodontology and the American Academy of Periodontology have long reported on the connection between gum and oral tissue health and the increased risk of cardiovascular and respiratory disease – noting that patients who present with periodontal disease have twice the risk of having a heart attack.

Why Does Periodontal Disease Impact the Health of The Body?

From increasing the risk of heart disease to premature birth and low birth weight – there’s no getting around the fact that Periodontal Disease can do a real number on the body.

But why – how can a disease that directly impacts oral tissues cause concern for our entire body? Bacteria, which is responsible for the destruction and inflammation of oral tissues, isn’t isolated to the mouth – but enters the blood stream and travels around the body – causing further inflammation and contributing to blood clots and fatty deposits in arteries. The more plaque build-up on teeth the greater number of bacteria present and the greater the inflammation of gum and bone. If the inflammation is not controlled, gum and bone levels recede, causing periodontal pockets where further plaque and bacteria gather, causing inflammation – and so on-and-on it goes.

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Your Own Health Records At Your Fingertips

This is so cool. I had my annual mammogram done the other day and as I was enduring this most wonderful and fulfilling examination, I was chatting with the very friendly girl coaxing me through the procedure.

I found out some super spy information from this girl.

Did you know you can access your own health records on your computer – lab results, prescriptions, immunizations the whole gambit. No longer do you have to wait to see your doctor for the results of your lab tests!

This is what you do: First, go to myhealth.alberta.ca Make sure you are in the right website as there are quite a few out there and I am sure a few are probably fraudulent.

It will take you to an ALBERTA site and the rest is just following the instructions. MyHealth Records is the 3rd box on the right.

You will need a Drivers License or Alberta I.D. card – don’t worry if you do not have a scanner, you can fill in the information on your computer, iPad or smart phone.

Just make sure you fill in the information from your Drivers Licence or I.D. card exactly as it shows. (I typed in Street instead of St and I was like “WHAT” I did it right!!) Look closely.

Once you fill everything out, you will have to wait 10 days for the Government to send you a verification code in the mail.

You go back to your account, put in the verification number and you are in.

I just filled mine out today now the waiting begins.

The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

Over the last few months there have been several different movements speaking about mental health and mental illness.

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Finally, something to remember when talking with a friend, yes it can be useful to say, “I’m here if you I often speak with people that tell me, “I do not feel I am need to talk”. Often times it is more of a struggle crazy enough to warrant professional help” or “I really do to talk to a friend because they are invested in the not want to lie on a couch and talk about my childhood”. problem, compared to talking to a professionA diagnosis or medical referral is not necessary to see al, who is a stranger and outside of the concern. someone in the mental health field. A referral from your Sometimes people do not know where to turn. As family physician may be required depending on your ina friend, it can be helpful to suggest a professional surance. What is important in determining whether you rather than just a cup of coffee. The length of time need help is to ask yourself, “Am I happy with how I am spent in therapy is situation and individual specific. handling and functioning in life?” or “Would I benefit from It can be from a few sessions to many, it all depends help?”. Everyone is different and can be affected by many on what you feel you need. The final question bethings to varying degrees. One is not worse than another, comes “How important is it for you to focus on your rather it is individual dependent. mental health?”.

The second statement is often a misconception based on the early methods of psychology. As I like to say, “Yes Tiffany Mitchell, Provisional Psychologist I have a couch. No, you are not required to lie down”.

Optimum Wellness Centres Therapy has changed drastically over the years, with how mental health is practiced. Some professionals may focus on the present concern and specific strategies to relieve the problem. Others emphasize when and how the problem began, which often weaves into understanding the impact of the past. Both routes are beneficial for different individuals, there is no one size fits all.

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Other than trying to understand how you are feeling, what other times should someone seek help? There are many different events in which people look for professional mental health support. Some examples are, but not limited to; after a motor vehicle accident, struggles within the couple’s relationship, work stress, behaviour and habit changes, grief, concerns about a child’s functioning, being sad or depressed, being anxious, general life and family stress, and intrusive thoughts. But the important

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• 19

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IS BEER GOOD FOR YOU?

Did you know Beer Is Heart-Healthy? Studies have found a 25 percent lower risk of heart disease in people who drink from one-half to two drinks daily, compared to abstainers.

And alcoholic beverages that are rich in polyphenols — think beer! — may be especially good for the heart.

A recent Daily Mail article announced that, “Beer is officially good for you”. The article claimed that beer “reduces heart risk” and “improves brain health”. Even if “heart risk” sounds a bit vague, the news sounds good.

Here is a quote from The American Journal of the Medical Sciences: The antioxidant content of beer is equivalent to that of wine, but the specific antioxidants are different because the barley and hops used in the production of beer contain flavonoids different from those in the grapes used in the production of wine.

The Daily Mail article goes on to say that beer can help to reduce the risk of developing diabetes and heart disease, it can protect cognitive function and it can boost levels of high-density lipoprotein (so-called good cholesterol).

Beer also contains micronutrients called polyphenols.

Some of these polyphenols, such as flavonoids, flavanols and phenolic acids, have known health benefits, although a lot of the research has focused on wine, not beer.

Ultimately, the healthy properties found in beer such as flavonoids, flavanols and phenolic acids can also be obtained from non-alcoholic plant-based food and drinks.

So, don’t be fooled by the eye-catching headlines; beer may have some health benefits, but that doesn’t mean it’s the healthiest way to obtain those benefits.

Hops, the female flowers of the hop plant, give beer its 20 •

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tangy, bitter taste. These bright green buds are also chock-full of chemicals known as bitter acids, which have an array of health-promoting effects. Bitter acids are powerful inflammation fighters, according to a 2009 laboratory study published in Molecular Nutrition and Food Research. One type of bitter acid, humulone, offers promise for both preventing and treating viral respiratory infections in a 2013 study funded by Japanese beer manufacturer Sapporo.

Beer is a great source of silicon, which is important for building and maintaining healthy bones. In fact, the form of this mineral that's found in beer, orthosilicic acid, is extra easy for the body to metabolize, according to a 2013 report in the International Journal of Endocrinology. If you're looking for a brew that will build your bones, try an India pale ale. IPAs and other beers with lots of malted barley and hops are the best beer sources of silicon, according to a 2010 report from the University of California researchers.

Having shared that information with you does not mean, drink a lot of beer. Actually, healthy drinking habits depend on more than just the beer you choose. They depend on many things, including the quantity you’re drinking, the frequency of your drinking, your mental health associated with alcohol, and what foods you’re eating otherwise. So, just because you’re reaching for a light beer doesn’t mean drinking it is a healthier choice than someone else is making in sipping another kind.

Additionally, some beers that are (only slightly) higher in calories are also higher in certain nutrients. Some beers have less sugar than others, as well. Since nutrition isn’t that black and white, it’s hard to compare which beer is actually the best for your body.

That being said, here are the healthiest beers you can find nationally, ranked by their calorie and carb counts.

Drink responsibly!

Genesee Light, also called Genny Light, this beer is an American-style light lager brewed to taste similar to GenThe Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

esee Cream Ale but contains fewer calories. It’s a crisp, light beer that’s meant to be drinkable. Calories: 100 Carbs: 4 Heineken Light is a light lager with a mild malty aroma and golden colour. This Dutch beer was originally brewed in 2005 and designed specifically for the United States market. Each 12-ounce serving has 99 calories and 7 carbs in addition to being low-ABV. Calories: 99 Carbs: 7 Corona Light is a pilsner-style lager with a fruity-honey aroma. Its light flavour makes it a popular choice for summertime and beach drinking, and it’s been said to pair well with a lime or a citrus-flavoured dish. Calories: 99 Carbs: 5 Miller Lite is a light, golden-coloured pilsner that was one of the first popular beers brewed specifically to be low-calorie. It has 96 calories per 12-ounce can or bottle and contains fewer carbs than most other light beers — just 3.2 grams. Calories: 96 Carbs: 3.2 Amstel Light is a Dutch beer owned by Heineken that has a low ABV and calorie count. It’s one of the leading imported light beers in the U.S. and has 5 carbs per 12-ounce serving. Calories: 95 Carbs: 5 Busch Light is an American-style light lager brewed with a blend of American and imported hops. It’s brewed longer to attain a lower calorie count than standard Busch, which is also said to give this beer a lighter body. Calories: 95 Carbs: 3.2 Michelob Ultra is a low-calorie beer that has only 2.6 carbs. Michelob also has an amber ale and a light lager in addition to the classic original lager, and the company recently released a low-calorie lime and prickly pear cactus beer. Its low carb count is appealing to many, and since it’s so well known, this beer isn’t hard to find. Calories: 95 Carbs: 2.6 Corona Premier is Corona’s lowest-calorie beer, a crisp and light version of their pilsner. It’s considered the most drinkable type of Corona, and it has 0.7 grams of protein in addition to being low-calorie and low-carb. Calories: 90 Carbs: 2.6 Beck’s Premier Light. This European beer is brewed in Germany and imported to the U.S. It’s a light pilsner known for its low-calorie count — just 64 calories per 12-ounce bottle. It’s been described as slightly fruity in flavour, and it also rates slightly higher for taste based on reviews than some other light beers on this list; it also has a very low ABV, so if that’s what you’re looking for, that’s in your favor.

Calories: 64 Carbs: 4 Miller64 is the lightest MillerCoors beer on the market.

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It’s got 64 calories per can or bottle (as the name implies) and contains only 2.4 carbs. It’s been described as a crisp, light lager, and it has a lower ABV than most beers on this list. Calories: 64 Bud Select 55 was the lowest-calorie beer we could find. It’s a golden lager brewed with caramel malt and a blend of hops. It even has a modest half gram of protein in its 12-ounce serving. The ratings on Beer Advocate aren’t raving over its taste, but come on. This is a crazy low-calorie beer, not one of the best beers in America!

Calories: 55 Carbs: 1.8 So, there you have it, next time you are looking for a change in the beer you are drinking, be a little adventurous and try something new.

Enjoy Kathryn Hartwell

References: theconversation.com, everydayhealth.com and thedailymeal.com

facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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A little bit of everything Gaylene is a Strathmore resident that has trouble taking life seriously and can usually be found making inappropriate or sarcastic remarks around town much to the embarrassment of her family and friends. (of which she has both – honest!)

Family Pet or Feline Terrorist?

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Based on my wardrobe, my favourite colour is pet hair.

Why don’t people have pizza parties anymore? Like heck yeah, invite me over to your house and eat pizza and then I’ll leave.

One day you’re 18, eating pizza for every meal, wearing a size 4 and the next day you’re 35, drinking kale and debating wearing a t-shirt in the pool.

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Our cat just turned 17. She

has survived life as a barn cat for the first three months of life, three moves, three dogs, the birth of our sons and rumbles with any strays (feline, canine or human) that dared step in her yard.

She’s a little thing barely weighing 6 pounds but what she lacks in size she makes up in attitude and sass. If I have learned anything over the past 17 years of cat ownership is that “ownership” is not the right word.

Oh no, we have a tiny terrorist that has put each of us firmly in our place within the house hierarchy where she reigns supreme and we are simply subjects to do her majesty’s bidding. Maybe we are to blame, after all, we did name her after Bugsy Siegal one of the most feared mobsters of his day.

Right now, she is sitting in the window of my office, checking out the birds, enjoying the sunshine in the backyard. In her mind, the only thing keeping those birds alive is a window screen. Reality would disagree as the old girl is slowing down, having dislocated her hip this past winter and she’s an indoor cat with limited supervised backyard privileges just like the convicted feline felon she is. The odds are highly in favour of the birds. That being said, without a doubt, if Bugsy did make it outside she’d be on a mission to get herself some sun baskin’-robins! The sounds she makes while watching the backyard birdies is a cross between a growl, a chirp and off-key Irishman four cups too deep on St. Patty’s day. It’s hard to concentrate on my work but I have learned that if I remove her from her low-cost cat tv she will, without fail, begin our daily ritual where I try to ignore her and she always gets her way.

She starts by sitting right next to my office chair and begins caterwauling. This is one of the most annoying sounds on the planet. It is a jarring, assault on the ears. Her battle cry The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

will continue throughout any attempt to silence her. I have tried picking her up and closing her out of the office. This results in more crying (hers and mine and a need for Bactine and band-aids, for me, not her). If I leave her on the other side of the door she will begin scratching the door, to the beat of her howling creating a cacophony of sounds that would make a grade two class of greenhorn recorder players seem like the symphony. I kid you not, the CIA could use her wauling as an integration technique. Even the most hardened criminals would crack. Even with headphones on, I last only about ten minutes at which point I usually open the door and pretend that I didn’t just give in to the demands of a tiny feline terrorist.

Now one of two things will happen at this point. If luck is on my side, she will be tired out from her tantrum and will curl up in her basket (beside my desk because apparently, every day is bring your cat to work day, when you work at home!) for a wee cat nap. Peaceful you would think. Heck no. This little ball of fur can snore like an elephant with a bad nose cold. Remember, this is if I’m lucky. If I’m not lucky she will sit by my chair singing the song of her feline people while providing me with free acupuncture. Not wanting to leak blood everywhere I will eventually pick her up and put her on my desk where she will walk back and forth the desk stepping on my keyboard resulting in a need to edit my work for words such kmnbg or zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzxxxxxxxx. Or worse, she will stand right in front of me so that in order to see the monitor I need to lean around cat

butt. The cheeky little feline looks over her shoulder to ensure she can’t possibly get her booty closer to my face and then she begins to twerk. I kid you not. Her old arthritic hips would make Miley Cyrus proud. It is like she’s asking “does my butt look big?”

At this stage of our daily tradition, I usually will toss her out of the office, close the door and do my very best to be strong, to not give in to her demands for attention, to not negotiate with a terrorist. She’ll meow, I’ll yell “shut up!” She’ll paw at the door, I will throw a book at the door. She’ll howl, I will turn the music up. She’ll increase her volume, I will google how long cats live. There will be a moment of silence. I will pause, eyes towards heaven, silent prayer on my lips asking for not world peace, but ten minutes of peace from the cat. I will turn the volume down to ensure she really has given up. With a sigh, my shoulders relax and I, once again, begin to work only to be launched from the chair at full speed. Throwing the door open as if a pack of hyenas are biting at my heels I rush, like only a cat-owner can, towards the sound of retching, hacking and gagging that signifies the impending arrival of a hairball. Picking up the geriatric Garfield I hustle her out into the backyard to ensure my floors aren’t violated by feline vomit. As soon as her wee little paws touchdown a miracle occurs. She twerks her arse, stops gagging and saunters off in search of the sun baskin’ robbins in full-blown stealth mode – not making a –single-fricken-sound. facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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BOOK YOUR WEDDING RECEPTION TODAY!

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Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad!

24 •

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Altogether Different

Ph: 403.910.3835

Dental Care For The Whole Family Always Accepting New Patients We accept all insurances and we direct bill

Every time anything even remotely bad happens to me, my parents expect me to die. I’m limping because I got a tiny piece of grass in

between my toes; I’m dying. I sneeze; I’m dying. I take a couple seconds longer to wake up from a deep sleep; I’m dying.

Sure, I’m almost 12, but I’m still young at heart. I wish my parents would stop killing me off.

Remember my story a couple months ago where my parents found me outside in -30°C weather, under the snow, and I couldn’t move for about a day? They thought I was dying then. I showed them; I’m still here, and I have no plans on leaving.

About a week ago, I got a piece of food stuck in my throat. I was making gurgling noises for about 15 minutes. I wasn’t in distress; I was just making weird noises. They instantly thought I was dying, and at 9pm on a Sunday evening on a holiday weekend, and in the MIDDLE of the last episode of Game of Thrones, mom picked me up and rushed me to the vet.

By the time she got there, I had coughed up the tiny piece of food that was stuck in my throat, and I was just fine.

Had this happened 10 years ago when I was a spitfire puppy, they would have given me some water and snuggled me. Now that I’m 12, their first instinct was: he’s dying.

So, now I like to have fun with it! I pooped on their floor yesterday. Yampa stepped in it as he walked through the door. for leaving me here at this Order yourThat’ll copy show of thehim Pouty Puppy today! hospicewww.thepoutypuppy.com instead of living with them in a kid-free palace. But you should have seen them look at me. “Is he dying?”

I fell off the couch this morning.

Mom looked at me like, “Is he dying?”

I smelled my food and wasn’t in the mood to eat. “Is he dying?”

NO! I’M NOT DYING! I WILL LIVE FOREVER!!!

Just you watch.

I’ll be writing this column for years to come.

Bauer

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Expressions The Dance Gallery

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Offering programs that will shoot students forward, ahead of their peers! EDG faculty and guest teachers will be featured.

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Wise Words

from children Never trust a dog with your food. - Patrick, 10 When your dad is mad and asks, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. - Michael, 14 Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.

- Michael, 14 Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9 Never pee on electric fences. - Robert, 13 Don’t squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13 Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to.

- Emily, 10 When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11 Never allow your 3-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14 Don’t sneeze in front of mom wen you’re eating crackers.

Mitchell, 12 Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac. Andrew, 9 Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

Kyoyo, 9 You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

- Amir, 9 Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Kellie, 11 If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Naomi, 15 Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9 Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10 When you get a bad great in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone. - Alyesha, 13

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ASK THE VET! What to Do if a Tick Head Gets Stuck in Your Dog's Skin Even with the careful removal of a tick, it is very common for a mouth part (or even entire head) to remain when a tick is extracted.

While we want to avoid having the tick’s mouth left in the skin, it is sometimes unavoidable. When the mouth is left in, it’s hardly the end of the world. The potential for disease transmission at this point is minimal. The body will wall off the foreign material and, in a few days, it will dissolve. The only other problem that might occur is the foreign body reaction that could also occur from a thorn or splinter. Although the embedded head does not always increase risk of infections, one must treat it in the same way, as one would a splinter.

It is important that when one see’s a tick on or attached to their dog, not to panic and immediately try to pull it out. If you are comfortable and familiar with the complete removal of a tick you can proceed to do so. If you are not, the best thing to do is to bring your pet to the clinic for removal by one of our team members.

What not to do if a tick’s head gets stuck in your dog Perhaps just as important as what to do if a tick’s head gets stuck in your

Your pet will always be treated like a part of our family at the Animal Care Centre of Strathmore We have recommendations, training information, and handouts that will help you and your pet. We provide ultimate care in a safe, comfortable environment; catered to your pet’s specific needs including: › Annual Health Examinations › Vaccination Appointments › Behavior Consultations › Isolation ward › Breeder puppy vaccinations › Travel documents › Pediatric patient exams › Geriatric patient exams › Insurance › Referrals

403.901.1800 clinic & emergency | info@animalcarecentre.ca | animalcarecentre.ca We are located north of the Trans Canada Hwy on RR 254, 2 km West of Strathmore.

dog is what not to do. This advice is very similar to what may be recommended for people, according to tickbites.net. Never dig around in the skin to remove the remainder of the tick, as this can actually increase the risk of skin infections.

Instead, it’s best to let nature take its course. Your dog’s body will expel the tick out naturally by itself.

How will I know if there’s a problem?

Remember to watch the area for the development of a rash or irritation and be sure to see your veterinarian right away if a rash develops at the site.

If you’re concerned about the possibility of tick-borne disease talk with your veterinarian or family doctor to learn more.

Preventing future ticks

If you’ve just pulled a tick off of your dog, you might be wondering how you can avoid it in the future. While nothing can be 100% effective, The Companion Animal Parasite Council says, the most important thing to do to prevent ticks is to use a combination flea and tick control agent, any of our team members would be happy to discuss this with you and tailor a program specifically to you and your pet.

If you have any questions or concerns, you should always visit your veterinarian or call the

Animal Care Centre at

(403) 901-1800 *With permission from Pet Health Network Pro

by Dr. Mike Paul, DVM **Edited and reviewed

by Dr. Rand Davis, DVM

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He a r i ng L o s s Sh ou ld n’t B e E xpe r ie nc e d Al o ne

W e’ r e R i g h t Be sid e You. E ve ry St e p Of The Way. Beltone Hearing Centre 202 2nd Avenue Strathmore 403-901-6332

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I could use a little side income.

Know anyone who pays well for professional awkwardness?

When I say “the other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

Just going to hop on Facebook real quick and see what’s up…

Aaaaaaand I’m in an argument.

I bottle-fed, and I breastfed, and before I knew it, they were eating stale French fries off the floor of the minivan, and I was like, whatever, thanks for cleaning.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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StreetSmarts for Community Workers Take a self-defense and personal safety training class. These programs teach specific skills for noticing and avoiding a dangerous encounter. Learning confidence and physical strategies is empowering and as such, we are perceived as less of a target or victim. Often, just by having the skills and knowing we can perform them if needed, our self-esteem improves. We hold our heads up higher, walk with more confidence and give the impression that we are alert, deliberate and strong.

1) Keep your colleagues and supervisors updated about your location and activity. Send a text when you arrive at your location, then again when you leave.

2) When walking to and from an appointment, maintain a steady pace. Keep shoulders back, look confident and make eye contact as you pass people. Appearing confident and deliberate in your stride will suggest to others that you are not an easy target.

3) Remember where you have parked so you can easily locate your vehicle upon your return. Notice landmarks and the exact location of your car in the lot. Have your keys ready to unlock your vehicle, then lock the doors when you are inside.

4) Carry your handbag or briefcase close to and in front of you, not looped over your head and shoulder. Be prepared to give up your purse or briefcase if confronted, so ensure you are carrying only photocopies of your important documents. The originals are best kept at home.

5) Debit cards and credit cards are the only original documents that are needed for any kind of transaction. Make sure you have those numbers in a secure place. Health care cards, SIN cards, even drivers’ licenses can be produced to authorities by photocopy or on your phone.

6) Continuously check your reflection in windows as you pass. Notice people who may be in your vicinity – how do you feel about them, has their pace changed, have they suddenly disappeared from your view?

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7) Wear comfortable shoes – save your high heels for after work!

8) Stay alert and ‘tuned in’ to your surroundings, send the message that you are calm, confident, and deliberate in where you are going. Put your cell phone away and notice your environment.

9) If it feels like you are being followed, quickly switch direction or cross the street. Run to an open store, restaurant or business. Yell loudly for help (Yelling or shouting will change the intent of a potential offender) 10) If you are riding public transit, notice who gets off or on the train or bus with you. If you feel uneasy, walk directly to a place where there are other people, or get back on the bus or train.

11) Use well lit, uncovered parking lots. Park as close as possible to the entrance, or near a light.

12) Trust your instincts, and follow your intuition; it is never wrong. Do not negate or talk yourself out of your fears or apprehension. These fears are real and showing up in your body for good reason – to keep you safe.

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KNOW THE SIGNS Every time I turn around, I talk to someone else with Celiac disease. The shocking thing about this is, lots of people have it and are unaware that they do. My daughter was just diagnosed with this very serious problem and she did not know what was wrong with her for quite a while.

Celiac is a disorder in which eating gluten triggers an immune response in the body, causing inflammation and damage to the small intestine. Gluten is a protein found in rye, wheat and barley. Digestive issues including bloating, gas, diarrhea, and constipation can occur after eating gluten. It can also occur as a reaction of eating gluten with other foods. This is because gluten prompts the immune system to attack digestive organs when an intolerance is present. Celiac disease and gluten intolerance can lead to many other health complications if it is not treated promptly and can cause irreversible damage. This can lead to osteoporosis, anemia, and stunted growth in children. Those who suffer from celiac disease are also more likely to develop non-Hodgkin lymphoma when compared to the general population. The best way to protect yourself and minimize your risk is early diagnosis and strict diet. One of the symptoms of this disease are painful bloating. For days after consuming gluten, the stomach may be distended and filled with gas. This can be quite painful.

Chronic diarrhea and constipation are both symptoms.

Weight loss, fatigue, brain-fog and sleeping disorders are facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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CHOCOLATE CRUNCH BARS

1/2 cup of cocoa powder 1/2 cup of coconut oil 5 tablespoons of pure maple syrup 1 teaspoon of pure vanilla extract 1 cup of gluten free rice cereal or Chex cereal (also gluten free) pinch of salt

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www.chestermerechamber.com other common symptoms.

If there is one thing, I know about my daughter she has an insatiable sweet tooth so I wanted to find some very sweet recipes for my sweet to eat and these fit the bill. They all are FLOURLESS, SUGAR-FREE and GLUTEN-FREE.

PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

1 Large egg 1 Cup granular stevia-in-the-raw granulated sweetener 1 Tsp. Baking powder 1/2 Tsp. Vanilla extract 1 Cup creamy natural peanut butter 1 Tsp. Water 1/3 Cup chopped peanuts (optional) Preheat oven to 350°f/180°c.

In a mixing bowl, use electric beater to beat together the egg, Granulated Stevia, baking powder, and vanilla for about a minute.

Add peanut butter and water and beat together. (The mixture is fairly dry; just be sure the peanut butter is mixed well with the other ingredients.)

Add peanuts if using, and blend into dough.

Use a large non-stick cookie sheet. Measure out a heaping teaspoon of batter for each cookie, roll into a ball, and then smash down with a fork.

Bake 15 minutes, or slightly longer, until cookies feel firm and are slightly browned.

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1. Melt coconut oil with cacao powder in small saucepan on low heat. Add maple syrup, vanilla, and a pinch of salt and mix well.

2. In a bowl, mix rice cereal and chocolate mixture so rice cereal is completely covered and mixed well. 3. Line a 9X5 bread pan with parchment paper. Pour in rice cereal and chocolate mixture. Level into an even layer.

4. Place in freezer for 15 minutes until completely set.

5. Lift parchment paper out of pan and separate the bar from paper. Cut into bars and enjoy!

6. Keep in freezer or fridge until ready to serve.

3 INGREDIENT CHOCOLATE CAKE 1 ripe banana 1 egg 1 tbsp cacao powder

Peel, cut, and put 1 ripe banana into blender.

Crack one egg into blender.

Put 1 tbsp of cacao powder into mixture.

Blend until smooth.

Pour mixture into mug Bake in oven for 10-12 min. at 350°F If you are concerned that you may have some of the symptoms listed above, make sure to visit the doctor and have the tests done. AND, even if you do not have any health problems, you can still enjoy these very sweet recipes!

Enjoy, Tifannie!

Kathryn Hartwell

References: healthprep.com, activebeat.com, kalynskitchen.com and servedfromscratch.com

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(403)934-3212/(306)320-7372 The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

Leela Sharon Aheer MLA

I am thrilled to be part of the Newsy Neighbour family and honoured by the trust you have placed in me by electing me as your representative in the Legislature.

Please contact me at Chestermere.Strathmore@assembly.ab.ca.

Hello Newsy Neighbour readers!

It has been an incredible month, and I am excited to announce we are opening up an office in Langdon. We will not be opening for a couple

of months, as we need to get a couple of things finalized, but in the interim, we will have our Strathmore office opening up on June 7th at 129 Second Avenue in the Strathmore Business Centre, and we will be available for meetings wherever you need us until we are set up. Call 403-207-9889 or email Chestermere.Strathmore@assembly.ab.ca. Once we have our location for our temporary office, we will post that information on our Facebook page.

Our feminist Prime Minister, you know, the one who kicked two high powered women out of his cabinet, is failing miserably. The bright star of the Liberals is fading fast as the Federal government loses its way with multiple scandals, interference and the obvious lack of conscience when it comes to the “promises” he made to our Indigenous brothers and sisters, as well as his statement that the woman that he groped “experienced the situation differently”. As SNC Lavalin attempts to dig itself out from accusations of bribing Libya’s first family, the Gaddafi’s, with 36 million dollars, and as the Trudeau government grapples with foreign policy as well as shutting down our natural resources, we wonder how it is we got here, and how do we dig ourselves out? It’s never been more important to help out with a campaign as it is right now. The federal government is costing Canadians billions of dollars in prosperity by actively attacking our energy industry. I was pleased to see that B.C’s appeal to regulate flow of bitumen through pipelines was unanimously rejected by the B.C. Court of Appeal. This is exactly the kind of nonsense that is impacting our ability to see pipeline expansion.

The pipeline already exists, and bitumen already flows through that pipeline and this increases our volume of bitumen. The people of B.C. are obviously upset by the incredible spending of their tax payer dollars on these lawsuits and it seems that Horgan will appeal this decision to the Supreme Court. This is a great victory for our province, and I would personally like to thank Premier Jason Kenney and the Minister of Energy Sonia Savage for their incredible work on this file, and for not giving up. There is still a great deal of uncertainty around this project, and that hinders our ability to bring in investment. Investors need clarity and so do Canadians. The question is, what is the Federal government going to do?

Men’s health is an issue that we do not speak about enough.

Depression is under-diagnosed in men; it is under reported, and men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide. The men in our lives tend to avoid using health care and have a more difficult time speaking about what is bothering them. This is

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Phone: 403 901 3175 Email: info@strathmoredistrictchamber.com

www.strathmoredistrictchamber.com not because our guys lack feelings; in fact, that is just plain misinformation as they experience chronic pain and other health issues that are sometimes caused by depression and anxiety. These numbers have increased, especially given the economic downturn and divisive politics of the last 4 years.

To our wonderful guys! Please do not suffer in silence. There is a strength in acknowledging that we all have our issues, and looking to prevention can help to mitigate long term suffering. Some of these things are genetic, but the loss of a loved one, losing your business, or PTSD are issues that can not be taken lightly.

As a woman, a wife, and the mother of 2 young men, these issues have impacted our family and we are still standing because of the support of our friends, families, neighbours, and because we asked for help. If your normal is not feeling so normal, please reach out to people you trust, or please contact our office and we will help guide you to programs and services that are there to support you. I can honestly say that diagnosis and treatment are worth their weight in gold, and we must feel empowered to use this support. Here are a couple of easy things that may help in the interim. Increase your intake of Omega-3 fatty acids by eating fish and nuts. Eat your veggies, gentlemen - especially the green leafy ones!

These, along with berries, contain antioxidants that protect you from free radicals, implicated in cancer. Be strong voices in violence prevention, and be vocal about healthy relationships and your own well being. Remember, our young boys and men are looking to you to help them become the amazing men we know they will grow up to be. We support and love our guys and we want you to know that! I sure love mine! As always, we love to hear from you. facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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We’re committed to you and your family’s peace of mind. Call one of our experienced agents today at (403) 934-3221 and let Coldwell Agencies demonstrate our dedication to delivering quality insurance policies.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha How do you feel when there is no coffee?

Depresso.

I’m so glad I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.

Earlier this week, two new additions were placed on the endangered list: Silence and Patience.

My daughter asked what it’s like to have kids, so I interrupted her every 11 seconds until she cried.

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In 1981, my father’s family emigrated from the Netherlands. Seeking a better life for their two sons, my oma and opa uprooted their small family and moved them to Canada. Along with their suitcases full of belongings, they brought their culture and language to their new home near a hamlet in Southern Alberta. This new reality, one fusing their lives in the Netherlands and their new rural Canadian one, would be the next chapter in each of their stories.

The house I lived in, prior to moving to Calgary, was the only home I had ever known. My family’s house, along with everything else on our land, was dreamt and built from the ground up by my parents. They planted fruit bushes and they planted gardens. They raised chickens and they raised cattle. They prayed for rain when it was dry and they prayed for sunshine when rain was no longer needed. Their identities became rooted where they settled and this they passed on to their children. They taught my sister and I how to raise and show cattle, to care for chickens and to collect eggs, to horseback ride in the summer and pick bales during harvest. The identities of my sister and I were shaped by our parents, a Canadian and a European immigrant, and the land they chose to settle on. Borrowed, yes, but nurtured all the same. Because my ancestors never lived here and my family’s connection to our land is only twenty years deep. It’s established but not historical, and certainly a far cry from the roots planted and nurtured by the ancestors of Canada’s indigenous peoples.

Young Inuit children, like those that came before them, will learn how to survive in their Arctic home. They will listen to the stories of the past, they will watch ancient traditions practiced by elders, and they will be the next generation of Inuit whose livelihoods will be inextricably linked to their lands. Girls will be trained to fish, along with their male counterparts, but they will also be taught to sew using the pelts of their “country food”: sustenance provided by the land they exist on. Girls will learn to forage. To pick cloudberries, blueberries, arctic cranberries, black crowberries. To live off of the offerings of the tundra. Boys, like girls, will be taught to fish, but their duties will soon extend beyond the river bank. They will learn how to hunt for seals, walruses, and whales. To access the generosity of the arctic ocean. In order for a young Inuit The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

boy to hunt for these animals, he will learn to build the materials required to facilitate a hunt. It is a rite of passage that will become their essence. Boys will be taught to build sleds and to build igloos, the latter an engineering feat that is, and always has been, a source of great pride for Inuit ancestors and Inuit living today. Through both listening and watching, children will learn and do as those that came before them did. They will rely on the flora and fauna of the tundra and ocean as their ancestors did and this historical continuity will aid in their spirituality and in their survival. Because it has never needed to change, and they’ve never wanted it to change.

A few years ago, I was prepared to uproot from my home.

I moved to the city, dreamt of moving abroad, and happily dismissed the prospect of working in agriculture or even living outside of town ever again. Indeed, what had once been my lifeblood factored little into who I wanted to become. It would all become a romantic reminiscence.

So, I left. I chose to leave behind memories and traditions and I chose to forsake the regional culture I had been shaped by. But that outgrowing process never really initiated. I began to feel alienated, isolated, confused, empty.

I wasn’t the person I thought I was even though I had thought I was no longer the person I once was. I needed to be re-grounded.

Going home had a profoundly grounding effect on me. I was met with fields of brilliant canola, herds of cattle quietly grazing, and the overwhelming stillness of the countryside and the farms that lent to its character. They flew past me like a memory but pulled me back in all the same.

The reality is, however, not everyone chooses to leave.

They don’t choose to leave behind memories and traditions and they don’t choose to forsake the regional culture that they had been shaped by. However, modern history has made this way of life difficult to preserve and Inuit know this well. Outsiders plundered Inuit land and they stomped on Inuit culture. They created the Indian Act and residential schools and the ‘Sixties Scoop’, and Inuit were left to grieve the loss of their children whose unprecedented absence would break the sacred cultural continuity that was so carefully and lovingly preserved by their ancestors. It was all slipping away, and more than anything, Inuit children needed to be re-grounded.

But going home would not have a grounding effect on Inuit. After years of trauma, the generation that had returned home needed to heal. They needed to hunt whales. To pick cloudberries. To reunite with their people, with their culture, and with their land. Their land.

But children struggling to reclaim their Inuit identity would be greeted by none other than a fresh evil: melted ice highways, starved wildlife, and receding tundra. It was, and is, a rebranded toxic colonialism in which newcomers permit cultural destruction caused by uninhibited industrial excesses. The arctic Inuit children needed to be

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healed by needed healing of its own.

At the age of five, I witnessed my father become a Canadian citizen. In the oath he pledged so faithfully that day, as many new citizens had generations before him, my father vowed to “fulfill [his] duties as a Canadian citizen.” New citizens, like my father, leave their citizenship ceremony, and begin forging a new path in their new home. They settle on farms or in cities, bring their cultures and languages and religions, and shape the nation of nations that they became a part of. Yes, Canada’s history is one of welcoming pioneers and refugees, alike, but this long history has not been without consequences. The idea that Canadian culture is one shaped by immigration is a notion that is not unfounded; however, it has certainly come at the cost of the existing cultures, languages, and religions of Inuit peoples. We, as Canadians, exist in a post-colonialism, post-residential schools, and post-‘Sixties Scoop’ reality, but this does not simply erase the strong relationships Inuit have long had with their land and their seas, nor does it permit non-Inuit Canadians, like myself, to exist independently and without concern for our Inuit brothers and sisters. We don’t have the authority, nor do we have the right, to cherry-pick the greatness we wish to preserve.

And so, we are left with an ultimatum: do we continue as we always have for the sake of its perpetuity, or do we recognize what has been oppressively afforded to us? Could the latter possibly reveal part of our duties as Canadians?

Indeed, the True North our anthem speaks of is not limited facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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to ice flows and tundras. It’s not a matter of mere geography, but a pledge to preserve Inuit culture, languages, and religions as we would our own. We do this not because we are perpetually bound to Inuit, but because we are forever partnered with them.

So Canadian children will forge a new path for themselves, as those who came before them did, but Canadian children will fuse their paths together. They will learn to look beyond their prairie backyard. Their island. Their street.

They will speak the languages of their ancestors and they will practice their cultures and religions, too. Not all Canadian children will follow in their ancestors’ footsteps, though. They will learn the meaning of co-existence and of mutual respect. They will come to know the richness of Canada’s history, of its people, and of its land. Canadian children will learn to share in the grief of their Canadian brothers and sisters as much as they share in their healing.

And because of this, Canadian children will see the survival of one Canadian as the survival of all.

Work Cited

“Oath of Citizenship.” Government of Canada online. Accessed March 30, 2019. https://www. canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/corporate/publications-manuals/operatio al-bulletins-manuals/canadian-citizenship/ceremony/oath.html Watt-Cloutier, Sheila, and Bill McKibben. The Right to Be Cold: One Woman’s Fight to Protect the Arctic and Save the Planet from Climate Change. University of Minnesota Press, 2018.

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25 Things About Life I Wish I Had Known

10 Years Ago Here are 25 of those reminders that others taught me.

1.Struggle Is Good Never say, “I can’t take it anymore.” Say, “Bring it on!”

2. Don’t Complain Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.

3. Spend Time with People You Love That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors.

Family is for life.

4. Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not in Love I’ve done this more than once. You sort of like someone and think, “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you or the other person.

5. Exercise Daily I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?

6. Keep A Journal No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

7. Be Grateful Say ‘thank you’ to everyone and everything. “Thank you for this beautiful day.” “Thank you for your email.” “Thank you for being there for me.”

8. Don’t Care About What People Think We all die in the end; do you really think it matters what people think of you?

9. Take More Risks Don’t be such a wimp.

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MartinSHIELDS,MP

CONSTITUENCY OFFICES: Strathmore – Box 2070, 129 2nd Ave, Strathmore, AB. T1P1K1 Hours: Tuesday – Friday 9am – 4pm

Phone: 403-361-2980

fax: 403-361-2989 mar�n.shields.c1b@parl.gc.ca Brooks office: 1-844-241-0020 mar�n.shields.c1@parl.gc.ca www.mar�nshieldsbowriver.ca

10. Pick an Industry, Not A Job If you want to become good at something, you need to spend years and years doing that. You can’t do that if you hop from industry to industry. Pick an industry you love and start at the bottom. You will find the perfect role for you eventually.

11. Lead the Way When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You are a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.

12. Money Is Not the Most Important Thing You have to train yourself not to care about money and focus on providing value instead. Also, don’t become too dependent on the stuff you own — otherwise, the stuff will own you.

13. Be Nice I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take crap and be nice about it.

Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot.

14. Learn Every Day You’ve got to train your brain to stay alert. You don’t have to read a book a day to learn every day. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the people around you — be open to what they can teach you.

15. Rest Before You Are Tired Even if you love your job, and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. You’re a human and not an android; never forget that.

16. Don’t Judge Just because people make different choices than you, they are not stupid. Also, you don’t know everything about people, so don’t judge them — help them.

17. Think About Others Just be mindful, that’s all. We all have families, bills to pay, and our own issues. Don’t always make everything about yourself.

18. Give Without Expecting Something in Return Don’t keep score. You will become a bitter person if you do that. Give solely for the joy of giving. If you get something in return, great, if you don’t, great.

Please contact our office:

• If you are having issues with any Federal programs or departments • If you are holding or celebra�ng a local event • If you have an Anniversary or Birthday you would like Cer�ficates for • If you would like to speak to the Member of Parliament See Our Social Media Pages for Updates

@MartinBowRiver

/MartininBowRiver

19. There’s No End Game We, as a species, just are. Don’t try to figure it all out. Enjoy your journey.

20. Enjoy Small Things I like clichés because they are true. Especially this one. You know why? Everyone says they know it, but no one lives up to it. They just chase big things.

21. Don’t Take Yourself So Serious Yeah, yeah, you’re an individual, and people have to take you seriously, I get it. But at the end of the day, we’re all a bunch of ants trying to chase the same things. Lighten up.

22. Don’t Blame People What’s the point? Do you want to punish them? You don’t do that to people. Also, don’t blame yourself — you’re only human.

23. Create Something Not to leave a legacy; you won’t be here to see it anyway. Be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.

24. Never Look Back Too Long Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: Learning.

25. Take Action Don’t just sit there, do something. Without action, there is no outcome.

Darius Foroux Quality Repair of All Appliance Makes and Models in Calgary & Surrounding Areas Langdon - Chestermere & Strathmore We can get your appliance back up and running and save you thousands on a new one. Our service is priority, and we look forward to servicing your needs.

403.305.5161

calgaryappliance.com facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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Shaken & Stirred Marcy enjoys helping others experience the joy in life. She started Mountain Lion Leadership, in 2003. As a leadership & community advocate, she is actively involved with organizations & businesses working to aid growth and development. This is combined with a passion to see women grow both personally & professionally whatever their stage of life. Contact Marcy: marcy@mlleadership.com. Follow Marcy on Twitter @MarcyLField to my profile.

WEAPONS OF MASS

DISTRACTION

Are you settling for being half-alive and divorced from your authentic power? If not, it is up to you, just

as it is up to me, to make the necessary changes. It probably won't come as any surprise that there are plenty of distractions along the way. Additionally, these weapons of mass distraction subtly steal our time and ambition.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Welcome to adulthood.

You get mad when they rearrange your grocery store now.

Now that I’m a mom, I know my own mother wasn’t as sorry when she accidentally pulled my hair while brushing it.

I hate when I’m having a perfectly normal conversation and my brain latches onto something and makes it dirty and I have to stand there and not giggle.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Gail Schmidt Because a Great Experience Begins with a Great Agent!

Want to know whats going on in the market?

Give me a call! 403.993.4550 gschmidt@cirrealty.ca

gailschmidt.com 36 •

thenewsyneighbour.com

In 1964, Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase "the medium is the message" in his book, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man. In other words, the nature of a medium (the channel through which a message is transmitted) is more important than the meaning or content of the message. To clarify, over the past half-century, humanity experienced (and continues to experience) a significant change in the mediums and interaction with them. People are extremely fond of their devices. Our current addiction to screens at work, at home, and with us all the time in our pockets or purses may negatively impact life.

MASS

DISTRACTION

In 1995, approximately 40 million people were connected to the internet. World Internet Users Statistics estimates that, in March 2019, that number grew to 4,383,810,342 individuals, an increase of almost 110%. This figure represents 56.8% of the world's current population compared to approximately 7% in 1995. What a phenomenal shift.

Most importantly, it makes McLuhan's words continue to ring true.

Once touted to be the great equalizer, the internet became more of a massive echo chamber. Certainly, it enables like-minded people to find each other and build community via shared ideas and experiences. However, social media algorithms narrow perspectives further, undergirding beliefs with news that only verifies them. As a consequence, our world is becoming increasingly polarized, which is a dangerous position considering our history.

There is increasing concern regarding the time spent on our web-connected devices and consequences to our health.

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Altogether Different

Further, a psychological shift occurred within a segment of the population - the news increasingly fills our time. Additionally, it subtly takes centre stage, making the world of national politics and international crises feel more important, perhaps more real, than the immediacy of families, neighbourhoods, and workplaces. Could this be contributing to increased polarization as we are exposed immediately to world events which elicit either empathy or fear based on our personal lens and echo chamber?

Only 15 Minutes East Of Strathmore 3.5 acres of beautiful land with peacocks, goats, horses and chickens.

Stunning Views

INDIVIDUAL IMPACTS OF

DISTRACTION Either way, the distraction of personal devices provides constant access to the internet. This creates shifts, which are raising alarms amongst some leading technology's onward march. Athena Chavarria, who was Mark Zuckerberg’s executive assistant at Facebook and now works for the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative, told (Journalist Nellie) Bowles: “I am convinced the devil lives in our phones and is wreaking havoc on our children.”

Research verifies that the neurotransmitter dopamine, responsible for managing the brain’s reward and pleasure centres, provides an addictive rush with every text, like or email notification we receive. Therefore, although dopamine is important to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, it also plays a part in addiction.

2 OPTIONS

Basement suite 3500 sq. feet or Main floor 3500 square feet

Access To Hot Tub & Theatre Room

How much time is lost to games, news, surfing the web or social media sites? My personal experience is too many.

Our diverse backgrounds and life experiences provide unique opportunities for each of us to make a difference in our world. Unfortunately, common human frailties are amplified when tech companies hire psychologists to help create “persuasive designs” to manipulate our minds and behaviours according to Richard Freed, Ph.D., the author of Wired Child: Reclaiming Childhood in a Digital Age.

**Each renter needs to be interviewed and approved**

GOOD NEWS The good news is, the ability to change lies within us.

Awareness is the first step. When supported with a commitment to change, the challenging journey to finding our way to a fuller, more satisfying life begins. Consider the changes mostly come through learned life skills. To clarify, we are not gifted with these skills; we need only to commit to learn and take action. Surround yourself not only with people similar to you in age, politics or religion; seek out different points of view and empower yourself to become a better thinker.

Step outside your bubble. Let go of mediocrity bred via the weapons of mass distraction. I challenge you to take time to explore the extraordinary both within yourself and the world around you.

Quality Repair of All Appliance Makes and Models in Calgary & Surrounding Areas Langdon - Chestermere & Strathmore

Beautiful holiday trailer, renting for $950/month

We can get your appliance back up and running and save you thousands on a new one. Our service is priority, and we look forward to servicing your needs.

For serious inquiries, please contact Norma Ann 403.305.5161 403-312-1952 or 403-512-4124 calgaryappliance.com facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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BUSINESS BYTES

Jill Crossland is a Business & Marketing Consultant with over twenty years of business experience. She is the owner of Jill Crossland Consulting & editor of Entrepreneurial-Life Magazine. From business strategizing to marketing plans and social media, Jill knows how to put the pieces in place for her clients. jill@jbcrossland.com | 403 901 6147 https://entrepreneurial-life.today

You’re Unique & That is

There you are, sipping coffee and listening to the guest speaker. They sound knowledgeable; offering information and tips on how you can grow your business, improve your marketing, reach that customer! After the presentation, there is the inevitable plug outlining services and you like what you hear. A few days later, back at the office, you tentatively reach out “I’m thinking about hiring you,” suddenly you’ve committed to a specific package but hey it was a ‘special’ rate for attendees.

Fast forward a few months; your work together is done and you are feeling a little poorer and underwhelmed. Why? Instinctively, as the business owner, you probably felt that the whole process was too streamlined and not geared towards your unique or specific needs.

What were the warning signs & how to avoid wasted time 38 •

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and money in the future?

Interview three business or marketing consultants in total.

This can be done by phone and it provides you with the opportunity to see which one you ‘click’ with.

Check to see what one-on-one consultations are built into the package. How many phone calls and what is the designated length of time for each. Is email support included?

Beware of packages that are overfull of jargon like ‘strategize, game changer, goal orientated, vision’. If your business needs a general tune-up those words hold sway.

Many business owners however are looking for answers to a specific problem or area so make sure they will address it.

Has the consultant got some familiarity with your type of business?

From the beginning, make sure the consultant is asking questions & listening to your responses.

Are they going to work onsite, in which case they need to be aware of in-house procedures, staff roles and your company culture? Disregard of these can create conflict, confusion and even disruption of your business.

Are reasonable requests for communication or clarity met with, “That is not included in what you paid for?”

At the end, you need to know there was a collaborative process at work and attention given to what makes your business different from the competition. As the Harvard Business Review wrote, “Consulting is more than giving advice”. Consultants are hired to provide a fresh perspective and ultimately recommend actions that fit your individual business needs.

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BROKER DELEGATE

TAMARA DESJARDINS 403-874-6486

DEB MURRAY 403-325-0372

GAIL SCHMIDT 403-993-4550

JENS LEHMANN 403-540-0201 LARS LEHMANN 403-585-3389 MARKUS LEHMANN 587-727-1047

CRAIG LANGLOIS 403-630-0384

SHERYL JOHNSTON 403-923-6774

TAMMY LAMBERT 403-934-0937

LYNMARIE NEUFELD 587-717-0663

AUDRA REINHARDT 403-325-0744

S T R AT H M Office ORE 403-902-0440

1051, 100 Ranch Market, Strathmore, AB

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I would be in great shape if sarcasm was an actual sport.

“Do what you love and money will follow.”

Ate pizza, drank wine, took a 5-hour nap in my underwear, and took selfies with my dog.

Now I wait.

Wake up: Tired.

12pm: Exhausted.

3pm: Really exhausted.

7pm: About to pass out.

Bed time: Energy of 10 million condensed suns.

Me at 17: I can’t wait to see what amazing things are waiting for me as an adult!

Me at 37: Pretty excited about this new spatula.

If someone asks, “Are you crazy?” simply reply, “Yes.” Boom. End of discussion.

I have two moods: 1. Constant panic and worry about every little detail.

2. It is what it is.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

MOW AT STRE ET DEDIC ATION

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