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Practical legal training at Anu Legal Workshop Your Pathway to Legal Practice Information law.anu.edu.au/legalworkshop/gdlp T 02 6125 4463 E lwsa@law.anu.edu.au CRICOS# 00120C | 221012LW
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The ANU Legal Workshop is Australia’s largest university-based legal practice program. We provide practical legal training in the Graduate Diploma in Legal Practice (GDLP). Becoming a Practitioner (BAP) is the first part of the program and is a 5 day pre-requisite face-to-face intensive offered in cities Australia wide. We also offer: > flexible on-line delivery > concurrent enrolment with your LLB & JD studies > your choice of 20, 40, 60 or 80 day Legal Practice Experience > direct or reciprocal admission to legal practice nationally > Substantial credit towards an ANU LLM. We have an efficient and friendly administrative team who are available to answer any questions students may have about the program. Many of our academic staff are practising lawyers.
Becoming a Practitioner (BAP) face-to-face intensives for 2012/13: Adelaide 17 Dec 2012 Melbourne & Brisbane 7 January 2013 Canberra & Darwin 14 January 2013 Perth 21 January 2013 Sydney & Canberra 18 March 2013 Adelaide 27 May 2013 Darwin 17 June 2013 Melbourne, Perth & Sydney 24 June 2013 Brisbane & Canberra 1 July 2013 Melbourne 2 September 2013 Canberra 9 September 2013 Canberra & Townsville 18 November 2013 Perth & Sydney 25 November 2013 Toowoomba* 25 November 2013 Adelaide 16 December 2013 * Subject to change
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This edition’s cover...
Further evidence our magazine hits the desks of the big boys in town! >> Look who we spotted enjoying the last edition of the Obiter...none other than President of the Law Society of South Australia, Ralph Bonig, and Independent Senator for South Australia, Nick Xenophon! Senator Xenophon seemed particularly interested in the magazine, having spent time as Editor of the University of Adelaide’s student newspaper, On Dit, while studying law. A big thanks to Messieurs Bonig & Xenophon for taking the time to pose for our impromptu photoshoot (read as ‘Here, hold this for us while we take a photo!’) at the 2012 SALSC Trivarsity Law Dinner. the Obiter...shamelessly promoting ourselves since 2011.
acknowledgements the Obiter team would like to acknowledge the support of USALSA, ANU Legal Workshop, Caldicott Lawyers & the UniSA School of Law. Furthermore, we would be lost without the dulcet tones of Barry White, the fashions of SBS World News Australia’s Lee Lin Chin and the assistance of Grand Master Flash. The views and opinions expressed in this publication are those of the individual authors and not those of the UniSA School of Law or USALSA Inc.
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contents
From the Editors Our Team & Guest Contributors Coming Events
billable hours
Billable Hours
features
Bringing Home the Bacon
news
Jack Kroning
extra
Review: Between the Devil & the Deep Blue Sea
jonesj
profile
Lindsay Sproul & Caroline Manser
precedent
Law School Cool
identityparade
Dimitri Economos
Lost in the US
Royce Kurmelovs
The Written & Unwritten Laws of Hong Kong Abigail Khoo
Reason #415 why Kevin Bacon can save your sanity An email from Isobel Bailey
A letter to my 21 year old self William Boucaut SC
Huzzah! It’s another edition of
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From Hasta la Victoria Siempre to Yes We Can Russell Jones
Humour: an important weapon in your legal arsenal Phoebe Bowden & Matthew Doran
Identity Parade
Please read the Product Disclosure Statement before making any decisions. about your superannuation. Use only as directed. If symptoms persist, please see your Doctor.
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from the editors Hey there Law Fans,
billable hours profile features news extra jonesj precedent identityparade
Isn’t it interesting to think we humans can direct the course of our future? I applied to be USALSA’s Publications Officer, was voted in and now you are reading this column. That’s free will and reason in action right there. It’s the miracle that differentiates our speck of space dust from those trillions of other space dust specks and you’re witnessing it for free in your very own student magazine. What a bargain. So I’m Meredith Hennessy, and I am here to serve. While I’m sure you may be thinking this nomination has gone to my head, I am not kidding about the service part. I will be sharing this role with Phoebe Bowden who is already so successful that I hope to leech some of her talent like a talent-leeching parasite. We now lead the Obiter’s editorial team. The role of the Obiter is not to be a platform for us to make as many puns in print as humanly possible (we can never compete with The Advertiser), it’s to share stories. Each student in our law school got here through a different path, lives a different lifestyle and, as I’m sure you may have witnessed in subjects like LSJ and Jurisprudence, share a different view of the world. One thing we do share is an (admittedly varied) interest in the law and what
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better subject could there be to fuel a student-led magazine with. We are here because we’re students, rabble-rousers, fresh faced and dewy eyed, set on changing the world. Or, as has been heard along our hallowed corridors, to go on as many pub-crawls as possible whilst stitching together enough of an education to make a lot of money once we graduate. Either way, The Obiter is your platform to say all those cheeky, idealistic things that only students can get away with. A quick note to mention that this is the last edition editorially influenced by the spiritual guidance of Royce Kurmelovs and Matthew Doran. Along with Ms Bowden, they dreamt up this magazine over many hours in cafes and pubs. They did it without any mandate, and presented it to USALSA as a magazine for law student and grads, by the law students and grads. And boy, they done darn good. The magazine now has both a wide circulation and a great reputation amongst not only those at UniSA, but also in the legal community who often comment on how much they enjoy it. Farewell gentlemen, won’t be forgotten. With Love, Meredith Hennessy
your
legacy
TrimesterThree2012
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obiter
our team
Abeir Zaid Staff Writer Abigail Khoo Staff Writer Russell Jones Columnist
Jack Kroning
Caroline Manser
Lindsay Sproul
Matthew Doran Deputy Editor & Designer
Alanna Wilson Billable Hours
Stephanie Hastie Marketing Director
Guest Contributors this edition
Phoebe Bowden Editor
Lauren Eacott Billable Hours
Meredith Hennessy Incoming Editor
Royce Kurmelovs Editor
Want to get involved in the obiter? Drop us an email at theobiter@usalsa.org Go on...you know you want to...
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coming events While uni might be drawing to a close for 2012, you still need to know what’s happening around Adelaide. Here’s a run down of the last USALSA & UniSA events for the year, some tasters for 2013, plus some activities to help you enjoy the Summer!
November to December2012 November
January
Saturday 10th - 2012 Credit Union Christmas Pageant!!!
Tuesday 8th - Thursday 10th - World Tennis Challenge, War Memorial Drive
Tuesday 13th - Law Evening Seminar with The Hon. Alexander Downer, 5.30-7pm (register online)
Sunday 13th - Commonwealth Bank ODI, Australia v Sri Lanka, Adelaide Oval Sunday 20th - Sunday 27th - Tour Down Under
Friday 16th - Criminal Law Cider Night (to be confirmed) Thursday 22nd - Monday 26th - Vodafone Test Cricket, Australia v South Africa, Adelaide Oval
Sunday 27th - Crush Adelaide Hills Food & Wine Festival
Friday 23rd - Trimester Three PubCrawl (to be confirmed)
February
December
Friday 22nd - 2013 Law School Orientation
Friday 15th - Sunday (March) 17th - Adelaide Fringe Festival
Wednesday 5th - DAY OF THE NINJA!!! Monday 3rd - Friday 14th - Trimester Three Exam Period Friday 14th - Paspaley Polo in the City
March Tuesday 5th - Trimester One Welcome Back BBQ (exact date of Week 1 to be confirmed)
Keep an eye out for the latest news & updates on events through your emails, as well as on the USALSA Facebook group and on Twitter... facebook.com/groups/26119087577/ twitter.com/usalsa
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...because we really care with Lauren Eacott & Alanna Wilson
Dear BH,
Dear EC,
I was recently out on a Friday night and noticed the Adelaide Uni Law students on a pub crawl with t-shirts that read ‘Lawlympics’ (in reference to the Olympics, obviously.) Really? I want to know how a body of ‘intelligent’ law students could massproduce a t-shirt so blatantly lame?
You don’t need to work full-time in order to support yourself financially throughout your law degree. In order to earn a crust, you can use what you’re learning in your classes and apply them in your spare time. Below are a few suggestions;
Confused – SA.
Theft, prostitution, duress, fraud, gang crimes, drug trafficking – just to name a few.
Dear Confused,
Hope those help!
It is a well-known fact that Adelaide law students are, for a lack of better phrasing, pretentious snobs. Once you personally encounter them you will realise that within them is an inherent desire to spend as much time possible heartily proving that their education is the most superior imaginable. Unfortunately this doesn’t leave much room in their brains for wit or humour. In short, those t-shirts won Adelaide law students a gold-medal in the fail-lympics #ohsnap!
BH
BH
Dear BH, Tonight my brother was telling me there are twice as many law students as there are jobs available. How can I ensure my future in this cut-throat industry? Aspiring Lawyer, SA. Dear AL,
My lecturers tell me it isn’t possible to study and work a full-time job, and yet are charging me a small fortune in textbooks. How can I financially manage my law degree?
I think you answered your own question. I’ll give you a clue: you will need to do whatever it takes in order to make it in the ‘cut-throat’ legal profession. Cut throat. * cough *. I can’t say anymore in order to protect my job. But just remember, twice as many students…cut throat…you get my point.
Economically challenged, SA.
BH
Dear BH,
Ask all your pressing, life changing questions that no one else can be bothered to answer- theobiter@usalsa.org
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words Jack Kroning image UniSA School of Law
On the 15th of July, myself and a handful of other UniSA students had the privilege of watching the final contest in the 2012 ALSA Witness Examination competition.
Essentially, the training consisted of practice trials much like the competition itself. The training was organised and facilitated by Dr David Plater.
The contest involved formal openings, witness examination and cross-examination as well as formal closing addresses.
JK How did you feel during the competition?
Second year UniSA Law student Matt Christey was one of these finalists. The day of the finals at the NSW Court of Appeal, was one filled with both tension and excitement as the UniSA crew held their hopes high. We were not disappointed. Christey gave a stellar performance with a wellexecuted opening, a thrilling set of examinations and a short but sharp closing. Later that evening celebrations were to be had at the Closing Gala held at the Crown Casino. There, Christey was announced the winner of the 2012 ALSA Witness Examination competition. UniSA had managed to secure its first victory at the ALSA competitions, which has brought fellow law students hope of further triumphs in future years. To find out a bit about the man behind the win, and his preparation for the competition, I sat down with Christey shortly after he returned. Jack Kroning What sort of training did you have prior to heading to the competition? Matt Christey In the months leading up to Melbourne, I had the opportunity to work with some of the best advocates in the profession. Tim Preston from the DPP, Barrister Anthony Allen and Judge Steven Millsteed all assisted with the training leading up to Melbourne.
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MC The competition was tiring with early starts on most days. Because of the intensity and the need to think and speak quickly on your feet it’s tiring, particularly during the final stages where the competition becomes more intense. JK What was it like when you realised you had won the 2012 ALSA witness examination competition? MC Nerve racking especially seeing so many people in the court room. It was a very proud moment to know that the team had won an ALSA award for the first time. JK What do you feel can be taken from this experience and success? MC I think that we now need to build on our success at ALSA. I know that there are many staff members who are keen to help out with the training and preparation, we just need to encourage the participation of other students within the law school. If we can gain more interest in the ALSA event and more participation by students in the competitions we can most definitely represent UniSA on much greater scale in the coming years at this event. We have the ability to deliver some great results at ALSA and definitely be regarded as a competitive law school at ALSA but we need more attendance at the internal preliminary competitions and training by the students.
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Matthew Christey (Centre), with (clockwise L-R), Eleonore Gaidow (UniSA 2012 Witness Examinsation Competition Finalist), Dr David Plater (UniSA), Isobel Bailey (2011/2012 USALSA President), and practitioners Tim Preston & Anthony Allen
JK What will this achievement do to help your degree? MC The achievement doesn’t directly affect my academic results, but it most definitely aids in building skills and knowledge in the area of advocacy. It is also an achievement which I’m sure would be looked highly upon from employers. JK Do you think you will compete again? MC Yes, but it won’t be Witness Examination next time around. JK Do you have any advice for fellow UniSA law students seeking to enter a competition at next years ALSA conference? MC I encourage all students from 1st year through to those in their final year to participate in these competitions. You don’t need to be an expert, it’s a learning environment and practical training which you
will gain from participating. The competitions build and develop your practical advocacy skills. ALSA is sponsored by some of Australia’s top tier corporate firms, who I am sure would look highly upon any applicant seeking employment who had participated in these competitions. If being involved in a competition is too daunting then at least tag along to an ALSA Conference as a general delegate like I did. As a general delegate, you may attend guest speakers and workshop events, witness the proceedings of the competitions and take part in the festivities of a number of event nights including a careers night. The opportunity is not something to pass up on. Witnessing UniSA’s success this year in Melbourne was a privilege to behold. Get involved at next year’s conference which will be held in Perth. the Obiter
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Review: Between the Devil & the Deep Blue Sea
words Lindsay Sproul & Caroline Manser images courtesy Liquid Creations & Australian Greens Back in August, the Mercury Cinema held a charity screening of Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea to raise money for the Asylum Seekers Resource Centre. The documentary was made by barrister and refugee advocate Jessie Taylor and filmmaker David Schmidt and explores what it takes for someone to become a “boat person.� The film opens with Jessie Taylor travelling to Indonesia with a translator and filmmaker in the hope of interviewing asylum seekers being held inside gaols, detention centres and International Organisation for Migration (IOM) housing. Over four weeks the team interviewed 250 people. In some locations, the team were able to use video cameras to record the stories of asylum seekers and refugees, but in others they were forced use hidden cameras to avoid detection from authorities. The footage gives a disturbing insight into the living conditions that asylum seekers and approved refugees awaiting resettlement are subjected to. It is common to hear those arriving on boats labelled queue jumpers attempting to bypass the system What the film reveals is a system in chaos where asylum seekers who do register with
the United Nations Refugee Agency are left stranded in Indonesia knowing nothing about their future. Instead they wait, living in overcrowded prisons, immigration detention centres or funded housing, most with poor hygiene standards and in appalling condition. Even those who have made it into the system and are determined refugees by the UNHCR will wait long periods of time not knowing when their resettlement will occur. In Indonesia alone there are an estimated 2,500 approved refugees awaiting resettlement. These people have been assessed and approved by UNHCR but are left waiting. When the film asks these people why they board a boat and start the treacherous journey to Australia, the responses are incredible. They show a complete loss of faith in the system and no hope for a future. What the film reveals about the application process is alarming. The UNHCR does not always accept registrations and many asylum seekers will sleep on the street outside the Jakarta office each night waiting get in. Even then many are turned away.
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�
The filmmakers have taken great care to attempt to balance the heartbreaking stories with moments of joy
Meanwhile, those people trying to follow procedure are left in detention or gaol, unable to register to start the long application process.
Blue Sea has won many international film awards, but no Australian film festivals or television stations have chosen to broadcast it.
The filmmakers have taken great care to attempt to balance the heartbreaking stories with moments of joy.
To overcome this challenge, the documentary makers crowd-sourced the funds needed to screen the film in 30 Australian cities over 30 days, concluding with a screening at Parliament House in November.
It finishes with updates on what happened to those interviewed in the documentary. Some boarded boats and some were resettled, while others are still waiting in Indonesia since production finished in 2011. Since then, Between the Devil and the Deep
Image courtesy of Australian Greens
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If you are interested, you can find more information on the documentary and the crowd-source funding campaign here: http://www.deepblueseafilm.com/
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Š Dimitri Economos page16
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Law School Cool page17
In January, I had an internship at Lonely Planet and the San Francisco Bay Guardian, a free weekly tabloid with a progressive editorial slant. While there I wrote a feature on civil action taken by the City to shut down a business in the Tenderloin. It was a deli open 16 hours a day in one of the poorest parts of the city. Every time the owners had called the Police to help get rid of the dealers, the phone call was logged and later used to shut them down. The civil litigation meant the owners had no lawyer and the evidence would never be tested.
San Francisco is a very special place to be a part of. Even for a time. It has been home to the Hippies of the Haight, the dot-com boom and bust, the Beats, Ginsberg, Hunter S Thompson, Anne Rice, The Grateful Dead, Google, successive generations of punks, writers, engineers, hipsters, designers, vibrant LGBT and Latino communities, programmers and business people. It’s the place where you’ll find Lucas Arts and Silicone Valley. No place else in America quite underscores the clash between rich and poor.
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Newspapers, San Francisco, 14-01-2012 >>
page18 Shoeshine man 8, Market Street, Downtown San << Francisco, 27-01-2012
LOST in words &images Royce Kurmelovs
A week later I flew into New York. I stayed in Alphabet City on the Lower East Side. New York was an experience. Most people in Manhattan are rich and beautiful. Dogs are a status symbol because it meant a person had an apartment big enough to keep a pet. New York gave birth Occupy Wallstreet and the wider Occupy Movement, which started a national discussion about inequality and class while giving thousands of disenfranchised people a way to express their frustration with what their lives had become.
the US After San Francisco I headed to New Orleans. A beautiful broken mess, NOLA is a party town know for alcoholism, pirates and music. But there was also extreme poverty, a huge divide between those with money and those without, especially if you were black. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worse if you were in prison. In April, the Southern Poverty Law Center filed an application against New Orleans Parish prison on behalf of the inmates for the hell-hole environment they are forced to live in.
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Out Back 2, India House Hostel, New Orleans << 28-02-2012
I work for you, poster, Avenue A, Alphabet City, New York 06-03-2012 >>
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THE WRITTEN & UN words &images Abigail Khoo
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To the newcomer, Hong Kong is a city of bright lights, crowded spaces and delicious food.
HONG
And as with all countries, Hong Kong is unique in their laws; whether they are written like their Constitution, or unwritten like their social norms and behaviour. So for the uninitiated, here’s a short, non-exhaustive guide to Hong Kong life and law. It is not uncommon to see people on the street with masks obscuring their faces. Catherine Lim, 21, a student at the Hong Kong Baptist University, said, “I think Hong Kongers are getting more sensitive to disease after the outbreak of SARS.” She said coughing or sneezing in public without a mask will attract many hatefilled looks from those around. As Hong Kong is a bustling and usually quite crowded place, those who are out for a leisurely stroll should stand on the right side of an elevator, especially in the Mass Transit Railway (MTR) or underground train. Lim said the left side should be left unblocked for passengers in a rush. Also, never place your chopstick upright in your bowl of whatever good food you may be eating.
Carefully counting out in cents to pay for your restaurant meal is somewhat unacceptable.
“It’s a really disrespectful act to do so because having the chopstick upright is like the way we have incenses and candles for people that passed away,” Lim said.
Lim said it is best to avoid paying with a $1000 note too because many stores may be dubious about its authenticity – in other words, they are worried that it is fake.
Once you have finished your meal ,without using your chopsticks in that manner, knowing the etiquette surrounding paying is important too.
Annegret Wittfoth, 23, an exchange student from Germany, found many Professors and other locals saying it was a social taboo to speak English in public.
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Many have grievances about those particular people who Lau mentioned who “[talk] extremely loudly in public areas which forces others to listen to [their] chat,” he said. Equally loathed are those who try and skip the queue, men shouting at women in public areas and pushing oneself on to the train without caring about how crowded it is. This last one is a big thing in Hong Kong peak hour, when people are squashed in rather tightly and there are many instances of people being hit by closing doors while they endeavour to push their selves on. Of course, there are also the written legal laws the reasonable law student is familiar with, like the Constitution or in Hong Kong, known as the Basic Law. The official Hong Kong government website states that “[i]t enshrines within a legal document the important concepts of ‘One Country, Two Systems’, ‘a high degree of autonomy’ and ‘Hong Kong People ruling Hong Kong’.”
“I was surprised that many locals were reluctant or shy when asked to speak English, although their English skills were good,” she said. “As a local, speaking English in public was considered snobby and elitist.” But there are also socially unacceptable behaviours which are pretty universal. Kevin Lau, 20, also a Hong Kong Baptist University student, listed a few which are most probably unacceptable in Australia too.
The People’s Republic of China regained sovereignty over Hong Kong from the British Government in 1997 so these concepts, though perhaps uncommon to other countries, form an important part of the system. In fact, Hong Kong’s official name is the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region (HKSAR). So, beneath the familiar postcard of Victoria Peak (a popular tourist destination) and skyscrapers, there lies a HKSAR which has its own share of unique laws, policies and the wide umbrella that is culture.
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Reason #415 why Kevin Bacon can save your sanity... Isobel Bailey From: Bailey, Isobel Affleck - baiia001 Sent: Monday, 6 August 2012 7:53 PM To: rsvp@marquelawyers.com.au Subject: Summer Clerkship Campaign Launch Party Dear Marque Lawyers, I'm writing to you in the hope of securing a golden ticket to your Summer Clerkship Campaign Launch Party. I know my chances are slim (combine the words 'clerkship' and 'jello shot' and you've captured the attention of every law student across the nation) but I've been looking for a chance to lose what little remains of my self respect and a gathering of my peers and potential employers sounds like the perfect opportunity. I'm from Adelaide, a town not unlike that encountered by Kevin Bacon in 'Footloose', and I'd happily make the trip over dressed in a Panda onesie for the opportunity to share a few laughs with everyone at Marque. Cheers, Isobel Bailey
...and it worked! Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Note: Here at the Obiter, we love firms that are a bit different. Marque Lawyers is definitely one of them. This year, the Sydney firmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s summer clerkship application was to design a T-Shirt for the firm to use in the JP Morgan Corporate Challenge. I know, right!
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A letter to my 21 year old self WILLIAM PENN BOUCAUT SC BARRISTER
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PO Box 6316 Halifax Street ADELAIDE SA 5000 Telephone: (08) 8410 3060 Facsimile: (08) 8410 6046 Email: wboucaut@bigpond.com Chambers: 22 Surflen Street, Adelaide
16 October 2012
Dear 21 year-old Me, I have been asked by the editor of this publication to offer you some professional guidance as a 61 year-old barrister-at-law in the style of the book “Dear Me” which I confess to not having read. You seem to lack direction and focus at this stage of your life. You spend the bare minimum of time at university and far too much time doing unrelated fun things. If you want to work as a successful commercial solicitor you should cut out drinking such prodigious amounts of beer. The flagons of cheap wine that you and your silly mates guzzle is enough to turn my stomach. Get a haircut. Buy some decent clothes. Get yourself a decent part time job or a summer clerkship in on of the big established commercial firms. That would look far better on the CV than working in factories, cleaning toilets in army barracks and painting houses, jobs which seem to be more important to you than applying yourself to your studies. Mind you, if you wish to go down the road of the commercial/civil solicitor you should prepare yourself for a life of boredom and misery. If, on the other hand, you wish to practice as a trial advocate in the criminal jurisdiction then don’t change a thing. If you spend time working in the blue collar setting you will learn how to respect and relate to ordinary, hardworking citizens. These are the people who sit on our juries. And, in my experience, they seem to appreciate polite plain talk and common sense much more than highbrow huff and puff. So the more time you spend working with and enjoying the company of decent, hard working, ordinary people, the better you will appreciate the qualities that make the jury such a great institution in our system of justice. That said, it perhaps would not hurt to cut back your time at the pub and devote a little more time to attending lectures. Sincerely yours, YOU AGED 61
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jones j a different perspective on all things law obiter
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From Hasta la Victoria Siempre to Yes We Can A farewell story about one man and his rise to the top
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wordsRussell Jones images Russell Jones & Royce Kurmelovs
With every door that closes, another window opens ...
screams of pain filled every ear as the bloodthirsty battle continued on.
Unless the house has no windows, in which case it would be very dark in there, especially with a closed door.
From the middle of the fray I looked up at the contingent watching from above, taking pleasure in the gruesome fight to the death. Up there, towering above the spectators and sitting on a golden throne was the reason we were all down here:
The sky was red with rage as a fierce wind swept through the arena. Bodies flew and
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El Presidente. Isobel Bailey, the notorious revolutionary of USALSA who had turned the organisation around and completely reinvented it (all with a spicy Latin-American backing track), was stepping down from her position as the head honcho and each of us in the middle of the stadium were in contention as her successor. The battle was long and hard, not to mention dripping with sexual innuendo. Competitors
“
it. The media just want a quick interview with you, they want to know what your presidential persona is going to be,” he said. I froze. The entire lead up to the battle I had been focusing on staying alive and trying to actually get into power, let alone all the agonising over personal branding. The USALSA members were all waiting to hear from me, and what style I was going to
”
The battle was long and hard, not to mention dripping with sexual innuendo
beat each other with campaign slogans and shameless lecture bashed, but eventually a lone victor emerged. Me.
I stood upon the bodies of my defeated foes as the crowd roared in applause. A wry smile washed over the face of El Heffe Bailey as she officially congratulated me on becoming the President-elect. Life was good. The rest of the night was dedicated to celebration as I was flocked by congratulations from peers and fans all wanting to catch a glimpse of the new president elect. However, my spirits were soon dampened when my confidant on the election trail, Kerry Kyle the Kampaign Krocodile pulled me aside from the legions of USALSA members. “Congratulations Kidd, I knew you could do
bring to the Law School.
I needed to clear my head. I immediately ran out of the party, got in my car and drove to my sanctuary for thought. Tibet.
Beneath the shadow of Mount Kailas in the Gangdise Mountain region of Transhimalaya I visited the order of the “what presidential figure should you base your reign on…. monks” (they were an oddly specific convent that conveniently met the needs of my particular situation, which was a massive timesaver). While there I engaged in intense meditation and thought deeply about my problem. After the revolution what comes next? I compared myself to all the great leaders of the past but none seemed to fit. I tried Julius Ceasar, but salad never has been and never will be my thing. Margaret Thatcher crossed my mind, but I didn’t quite
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jones j have the balls to live up to her reputation. I was too tall for Napoleon, too skinny for Henry the Eighth and not boastful enough for Alexander the Great. My conundrum consumed me as my mind slipped into darkness and I thought I would never find my calling. This was until I finally saw the light, the one true personality and leadership style that would help make my reign as USALSA president a success. And there dear reader is where I shall leave you. I thank you all for your audience as I depart this column and arrive as a President, and as for my style you may ask? Well that I shall reveal in good time, I promise.
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Honestly. the Obiter That was Russell Jones’ last Jones J column as he moves on to his role of USALSA President. Here at the Obiter, we thought it best to tell Mr Jones to move on after taking office so as to prevent this publication becoming a mouthpiece for his benevolent dictatorship. If you think you’ve got what it takes to fill Russell’s sizeable column shoes and take a slightly bizarre look at the legal world for this magazine, drop us a line at theobiter@ usalsa.org Strong knowledge of puns is a prequisite to be considered for the role.
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Humour: an important weapon in your legal arsenal the Obiter sent two of our intrepid team to the 2012 National Golden Gavel Awards to check out some of Jones J’s competition from around the country words Phoebe Bowden & Matthew Doran images Phoebe Bowden
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What do Christmas parties, bestiality and cross-dressing have in common? No, they aren’t the premise for a bizarre art haus film that went straight to DVD, or regular occurrences on Hindley Street in December. They’re more like comedic fodder for some of the best and brightest young wits in the Australian legal community as they battled it out for the prestigious Golden Gavel Award – an opportunity for young lawyers to show their advocacy and comedy skills while arguing their case on far-fetched topics, with only 24 hours to prepare. Comedy is full of lawyers. Pick up a TV Guide and you will come across a number of high profile, trained lawyers who have swapped office coffee machines and billable units for a career in the entertainment industry. Host of Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation Shaun Micallef worked as an insurance lawyer for a decade before deciding insurance policies and risk assessment wasn’t his thing. Your Gen panellist, host of The Project and self-proclaimed political junkie Charlie Pickering bailed out of glass tower life for the stand up circuit.
And let’s not forget The Chaser team – law grads from the University of Sydney, or comedian and author Anh Do. The finalists had assembled in a ballroom of the Hilton Hotel in Adelaide for the national final of the Golden Gavel. We should’ve known as soon as we walked in that the combination of ambient lighting and vast quantities of alcohol would make for an interesting evening. The judging panel was a big enough drawcard - Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of South Australia Chris Kourakis QC, Former President of the Law Council of Australia Alex Ward, and Barrister Anthony Durkin, who one contestant insisted shared the chiselled features of Cleaver Greene from ABC’s Rake. Proceedings began with Tim Cannon from Victoria talking about ‘what SC should really stand for’. Silk Cape. Sartorially Challenged. Sensible Chinos. Supple Curves. Serious Cyclist. Sharp-Cut suit. “A nice cut suit is like lingerie,” Cannon explained, “While no one will see it under your gown, it feels good to have it on.”
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The esteemed judging panel L-R: Chief Justice Chris Kourakis, Anthony Durkin & Alexander Ward
Next up was Fabiano Cangelosi from Tasmania to discuss ‘The Seven Deadly Billable Sins.’
Keeping lovers and employers was simple: 1.
Fake it.
It was a parody of classic literature, Dante’s Seven Rings of Hell, starting with alco-poploving, try-hard clerks and moving through to cynical senior partners.
2.
Delegate it.
3.
Video tape it.
The Northern Territory’s Heloise Woodside taught the audience, ‘How to Lose an Employer in Ten Days’ and compared the employee/employer relationship to the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. She had never been fired, she said, but she had been dumped. Her tips for getting fired: 1.
Come on too strong, write notes to your co-workers that read “firmies for lyf.”
2.
Engage in a bit of baby talk “aw but I wanna, pweese, pweese.”
3.
Don’t put out. Firms want to screw you from the start. They’ll make you put your hands on as many briefs as possible.
4.
Be emotional. Cry in front of partners.
5.
Be completely uninterested in your partner’s discussions of Turkish architecture.
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South Australia’s own Barnaby Grant gave a ‘Criminal lawyers perspective on why crime pays’. Literally. Grant explained an LLB would be a great help to a budding criminal mastermind. Joel Cook, representing New South Wales, lectured the audience on ‘Why women lawyers do it better.’ “Within the profession we think we’re awesome, but outside the profession they hate us, it’s a bit like Melbourne,” he said. Boobs gave women powers of mind control, Cook said, but they lacked the balls needed to succeed in negotiation. And then he started to undress. And revealed a dress. Before throwing on some lipstick and a headband. One judge compared his appearance to that of a high profile state politician. Marc McKechnie, from Queensland, talked about ‘The five words every lawyer should know: I withdraw that your honour.’ It was advocacy’s magic spell, a Jedi mind trick.
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Marita Pangallo from South Australia
“Say I withdraw that and the horrible stench of failure disappears, as though it had never happened,” he said, before recognising its limitations, “On a first date you may make the mistake of saying ‘I like One Direction,’ but then you couldn’t say actually I withdraw that.” SA’s second representative Marita Pangallo stumbled across the stage wearing reindeer ears and flashing lights to discuss ‘Punch, Drunk, Love: the office Christmas party.’ A self-described ‘cunning linguist’, she was all about innuendo. Erect. Hard. Root. Firm.
“Perth will go from being a city of cashed up Bogans to a city of Bogans – like a Brisbanisation of Perth,” Barron said. From the ACT Hamish McNair explained that ‘Court Registries are the Crapshoot of the legal profession.’ “At the registry rugged good looks will get you no where,” McNair said. “However, a bag of Allen’s lollies is as popular as a bag of coke on the Gold Coast.” “The rules and odds of winning at the registry are perplexing.”
“I’ve been Chief Justice for less than three months, I can’t comment on that,” came the response from Kourakis CJ, “I can only conclude that the speaker is well informed on the topic.”
The dating advice of Heloise Woodside from the Top-End took third place. Joel Cook, the cross-dressing New South Welshman obviously didn’t put enough effort into his outfit for the evening, only managing to sneak into second place.
Nicholas Barron of Western Australia was convinced the carbon tax was “another ploy from the Eastern States.” He spoke on ‘Five reasons why the Carbon Tax should increase legal fees by 50%.’
And the winner, with his Jedi mind tricks, was Queensland’s Marc McKechnie, securing the win even after one judge expressed his utter contempt for the spelling of Marc with a ‘C’.
There are no carbon conscious law firms according to Barron, and as long as counsel continue to expect single-sided law report copies, law firms are going to need to up their fees and he feared the consequences.
If this is the banter going on inside law firms, it’s a wonder cases ever make it to court. NB the Obiter would like to thank the Young Lawyers Association who organised the event as part of the National Young Lawyers Conference for their hospitality. page29 the Obiter
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identityparade < Pub Crawl Trimester Two Julia Mignone, Simone White, Ashleigh Schofield, Richard Gillard, Thomas Nordin & Pat Massenger
PubCrawl Trimester Two -
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Jack Kroning, Laeni Goudas, Micky Drew & Maya Doyle
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SALSC Trivarsity Law Dinner Pete Smith & David Philpott
ALSA Conference Melbourne Nicholas Cutts & Jack Korning
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USALSA OFFICE Emergency Wine, ALSA Witness Examination Shield & Joe the Panda
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thankfully not sourced from South Australian Police News SALSC Trivarsity < Law Dinner Taylor Pope, Suzana Jovanovic, Arabella Ward, Eleonore Gaidow & Ryan Bocock
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Lipman Karas Welcome Back BBQ Trimester Three Amy Niedorfer
Laura Stark, Matthew Doran & Victoria Moffat
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