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beneath the surface OSU STUDENTS COPE WITH INVISIBLE ILLNESSES THAT MAKE COLLEGE LIFE ANYTHING BUT NORMAL.

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I nv isib le Illn esses

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Invisible Illnesses: an internal struggle Jayci R ob is on Sta ff R epo rt er @ o c olly

Not all college students understand invisible illnesses, but they’re all Shea Retherford and Abbey Grimes have ever known.

Invisible illnesses can be anything from mental disorders, such as anxiety or depression, to arthritis or anemia. They make up the majority of chronic medical conditions.

Retherford, a 20-year-old Retherford graphic design freshman, is grateful she even made it to Oklahoma State University.

Retherford was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when she was 9 months old. The illness is a genetic disorder, creating extra mucus in the lungs and affecting the body’s organs. Bacteria are more likely to form, resulting in much stronger infections.

“I lived my life as if I didn’t expect to live,” Retherford said. “I never expected to make it past 20. It’s been difficult transitioning from a terminal illness to a chronic illness, knowing I might live

and that I have to work hard.”

Retherford said only half of cystic fibrosis patients are over 18. The life expectancy for patients recently increased from 20 to 40.

Although the future is brighter, Retherford said it’s imperative she live with a positive outlook but realistic expectations. Cystic fibrosis patients can’t anticipate when a cold will turn into pneumonia, she said. They can’t know if the flu will kill them.

For this reason, Retherford said she tries to live every day as if it were her last while appreciating life more.

Retherford’s life is all about minimizing risks and creating balance. She spends two or more hours every day wearing a special vest to shake the mucus out of her lungs. To protect her already weakened immune system, Retherford wears long sleeves to touch objects other people have already touched.

As a child, she wasn’t aware her routine was different from other children her age, she said. Retherford’s pancreas doesn’t function at 100 percent and fails to produce enzymes to digest food. Because of this, any time she eats, she has to take

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enzyme pills. Retherford said remembering to take medication and sticking to a routine was the hardest part for her, especially as a child.

“I started going over to people’s houses when I realized, ‘This isn’t normal,’” Retherford said. “The way I live isn’t normal. I’m different from other people. The fact that they were questioning it was what made me realize.”

Although it was tough realizing she was different, Retherford said she has made it this far because of all the people who helped her along the way. One of her mother’s friends had cystic fibrosis but passed away at 13. Watching someone die so young made it even more difficult for her mother to handle having a child with the same condition, Retherford said. “(My mom) did the absolute best she could to provide for me and be sure I’m healthy,” she said. “It was extra incentive to be sure we were on the right path.”

Although Retherford has a strong support system, she appears healthy on the outside, making it hard for strangers to empathize. Retherford said cystic fibrosis

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Retherford said it is an attitude, not an understanding.

“I want people to understand that I’m sick and know when I can’t do things, but I never want someone to treat me differently,” Retherford said. “I would love to feel normal. People who make me feel normal while accommodating me are the people I stay around.”

It’s also difficult to relate to other college students, Retherford said. She said she sometimes feels agitated or upset when people complain about seemingly trivial things such as exams when she is dealing with a serious health condition.

“I can be bitter that my priorities are in other places than other college students’,” Retherford said. “But it’s just one of those things.”

Retherford said the biggest advice she could give someone dealing with any type of chronic condition is to stay on top of things and always remember no one is ever alone.

Grimes, a microbiology sophomore from Bartlesville, also understands the difficulties of having an illness others can’t see.

Grimes was diagnosed

with Type 1 diabetes when she was 5. Grimes’ parents started to worry when she began sleeping, drinking and losing weight excessively. They brought her to an endocrinologist in Tulsa where they discovered her blood sugar was higher than 500, well outside the normal range of 75-100.

“I really didn’t know what was going on,” Grimes said.

“It kind of hit me a couple days afterward. The last couple days, (the doctor) would ask me to come here so she could give me a shot, and I was just like, ‘When is this going to stop?’ And she told me Grimes I was always going to have it.”

Grimes said her pancreas, which produces insulin to help process sugars and digest foods, is ineffective, resulting in daily symptoms that vary depending on whether her blood pressure is high or low. If her blood pressure is low, she becomes shaky, sweaty and has blurred vision. If it’s high, she becomes dazed and achy with a flu-like headache.

STORY CONTINUES ON PAGE 3

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brings a host of symptoms, including chronic fatigue, a weakened immune system, exercise intolerance and difficulty breathing.

However, Retherford said when people don’t see the sickness, they don’t think about it. It’s hard for people to understand that canceling plans is not her attempting to bring people down. She said people in her life have come and gone because it’s difficult for them to cope with having a cystic fibrosis patient as a friend.

“They can’t handle it,” Retherford said. “They don’t understand. They see me physically as someone who is capable of doing everything, and whenever I’m not, I can let people down.”

Although Retherford wants to be present and active, she said sometimes her health must come first.

“After I have been hospitalized, after I have been near death, I have to say to myself, ‘Is it worth it?’” Retherford said. “I will definitely take the anxiety of telling somebody ‘no’ over my health any day.”

Although she wants people to do their best to empathize with her situation,

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c ove r s t o ry

STORY CONTINUEd from page 2

“I can’t even imagine a life without diabetes,” Grimes said. “That’s what it’s always been.”

She said finding a balance between everyday life and taking care of her body has come more easily with plenty of practice. Grimes said she struggled with balance in high school until she realized activities such as checking her blood sugar took only 30 seconds. After that, she said she made sure she found the time to sit down and take care of herself.

Grimes said her support system has been vital throughout her journey with diabetes, especially the encouragement coming from her family. Grimes has also received unconditional support from her doctor, resulting in her decision to major in microbiology, she said. Grimes said her treatments inspired her, and she’s determined to become a juvenile endocrinologist with a specific focus on Type 1 diabetes. She said she wants to be an inspiration to kids as her doctor has been to her while being able to personally relate to what her patients are going through.

Although those close to her are sympathetic, Grimes said she still feels strangers

I n v i s i b l e I l l nes s es judge her.

“When we go eat, I have to sit there and give myself a shot and check my blood sugar,” Grimes said. “Some of the stares I get … I’m just like, ‘I have to do this, or I’ll die. … Why do you need to look at me like that?’”

Grimes has a service dog named Callie, and people often cast judgmental looks when they’re seen together, she said. Callie can detect when Grimes’ blood sugar levels are too high or too low. With her illness leaving no outside markings, people don’t see a need for the dog to be with her, Grimes said.

“You can’t judge a book by its cover because you don’t actually know what’s going on,” Grimes said.

“Diabetes and other chronic illnesses are very serious.”

Grimes said it’s hard to keep an optimistic outlook all the time. Some days when she’s not feeling well and her blood sugars won’t regulate, she said she wishes she could get rid of the diabetes. Even if for only one day, she wants a glimpse of what it’s like to be normal.

It’s important for anyone trying to support someone with an invisible illness to listen and be patient, as many people simply want to talk and go at their own

pace, Grimes said. For those struggling with chronic conditions, she suggests never blowing off the illness.

“Also know nobody is perfect and you’re not going to feel great and take care of yourself perfectly every day,” Grimes said.

Retherford also offered suggestions for people caring for loved ones with invisible illnesses. She said she recommends making sure they don’t ever feel alone.

“Making sure that the well people help the unwell people feel well is so important,” Retherford said.

Retherford said although the condition is a struggle, it has made her the person she is. She said she has gained an empathy and understanding that other people don’t have.

She said she would take a cure if there were one but would never wish for a life without cystic fibrosis.

“To everybody else who has something like this: It’s happening for a reason,” Retherford said. “It becomes who you are and what you are, and it’s almost always a good thing.”

Jayci Robison is a strategic communications junior from Cashion. She can be reached at jaycimr@okstate.edu.

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I nv isib le Illn esses

O pinion

Column: My struggle against an Invisible Illness J ay c i Robison Staf f Writ er @ o c o l ly

On June 21, 2012, my life changed forever.

It was the day I first passed out and started exhibiting symptoms not normal for a 17-year-old girl. About five months

later, I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune condition called postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, or POTS. POTS brings a massive host of symptoms, including chronic fatigue, rapid heart rate, disorientation, dangerously low blood pressure, fainting, difficulty breathing, chronic nausea, exercise intolerance and more.

My diagnosis changed everything about my life. I went from being an active teenage girl with hopes of becoming a college athlete to sleeping 18 or more hours per day. I was

no longer worried about scholarship letters or basketball games but instead wondered if I would have enough energy to get out of bed each morning.

Driving became impossible after passing out at the wheel, and making friends became increasingly more difficult.

After undergoing heart surgery at 18 and being blessed with doctors who genuinely care for me, I found a treatment plan that eases the physical burdens accompanying POTS. I take 17 pills a day and receive 10-hour infusions once a month.

The infusions are hard on my body and often leave me bed-bound for three or more days, but my symptoms are gentler during the weeks in between.

I have found mild relief from some of my most severe symptoms. Unfortunately, relief does not mean healing. Most people suffering from a chronic illness don’t have a cure available to them. My illness is no different.

POTS is something I will struggle with all my life. Because people can’t see what I’m feeling, it’s difficult to explain the struggles I face. This often

leaves me feeling alone and misunderstood. I can drive now but have a handicap placard to minimize walking distance. This helps prevent unexpected symptoms, but the looks I receive while getting out of my car are extremely insulting. Some people have even asked why someone who is “clearly not sick” would park in a handicap spot.

However, invisible illnesses are just that: invisible. To others, I appear healthy on the outside.

On the inside, my body is fighting a long, hard battle every day. There

are so many people who, like me, fight an internal battle invisible to others. Just because we look healthy doesn’t mean we are healthy. Sufferers of invisible illness need support and encouragement, just like anyone battling something bigger than themselves.

And the truth is, we’re all fighting something.

Remember, looks can and will be deceiving.

Jayci Robison is a strategic communications junior from Cashion. She can be reached at jaycimr@okstate.edu.

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men’s Basketball

S po r t s

FOR RELEASE FEBRUARY 22, 2017

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

Underwood makes return to K-State Sa m Gr ub enh of f Spo rts Ed itor @ G Ho f f 1 7

Brad Underwood hasn’t set foot in Manhattan, Kansas, in three years.

The last time the Oklahoma State men’s basketball coach was there, he traded basketballs for golf clubs and afternoon practices for summer dinners on a patio with friends on a family vacation.

“Time flies,” Underwood said.

Back then, Underwood, a former Kansas State player, assistant coach and native of McPherson, Kansas, was wearing a different shade of purple as the coach of Stephen F.

Austin’s men’s basketball team. His career as a Division I basketball coach was just hitting its stride.

Things are a little different now.

Underwood introduced orange into his color wheel when OSU hired him as its 19th coach in program history March 21. He has since taken a squad that limped to a 1220 finish in the 2015-16 season and turned it into a Big 12 contender. He is the architect of the ninthbest scoring offense in the country and has a Naismith award contender in point guard Jawun Evans to show for it. His team is one of the hottest in the

country.

Still, a smile breaks across Underwood’s face when someone brings up K-State.

“Pregame at Kansas State was really special,” Underwood said. “And it was as a player. You don’t forget those things. You don’t forget running on the floor at Ahearn Field House. You don’t forget walking out at Bramlage (Coliseum), and you’d always look to your right and the Wabash Cannonball is being played.

The students, all 5,000 of them, were going nuts.

It always kinda made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

STORY CONTINUES ON PAGE 6

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Men’s Basketball

S p o rt s Story continued from page 5

“I don’t know if that’ll happen this time.”

Wednesday, Underwood returns to his collegiate stomping grounds for the first time as an opposing coach, as the Cowboys (18-9 overall, 7-7 Big 12) take on the Wildcats at 8 p.m. in the Bramlage Coliseum, where Underwood served as an assistant coach to Bob Huggins and Frank Martin from 2006-12.

Although the Cowboys have already played the Wildcats (17-10, 6-8) once this season, a 96-88 loss Jan. 18 in GallagherIba Arena, playing in Manhattan will be “a little different,” Underwood said.

“I’ll probably have some emotions walking out of the tunnel at Bramlage,” Underwood said. “I could see how Bill (Self) and Lon (Kruger) and some of the other coaches that face their alma maters, you kinda get by that.

It’ll be different. I had a lot of friends there, and that part will be special, but I’m in a little different place mentally than I was the first time.”

Before coaching, Underwood played college basketball for Jack Hartman from 1984-86, Hartman’s final seasons with the Wildcats. Hartman played for OSU legend Henry Iba during the 1940s and later served as an assistant coach in 1954.

By way of Iba, Hartman’s fingerprints are all over the Cowboy basketball team, particularly its defensive schemes and drill work.

Jacob Derichsweiler/O’Colly

Brad Underwood, a native Kansan and Kansas State alumnus, will make his first trip back to Bramlage Coliseum.

OSU at K-state When: 8 p.m. Wednesday Where: Bramlage Coliseum in Manhattan, Kansas Watch: ESPNU Listen: Cowboy Radio Network

“We do a lot of the same drills,” Underwood said. “We haven’t changed much. They worked then, and they’re still working now.”

Hartman’s schemes, particularly his zone defense, have been at the heart of OSU’s resurgence. After starting conference play with an 0-6 record, subtle tweaks have helped the Cowboys rattle off eight wins in their past nine games, including wins in four straight road contests. In that span, OSU is allowing almost 13 fewer points per game and 10.5 fewer points in the paint.

“It really helped us, changing up the defense a little bit,” Evans said.

“We just stayed intense

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2017

on defense, followed the system, just listening to coach and what he’s telling us to do. Everything just went great.”

If the scheme works again Wednesday, a victory would give OSU its first win in the Bramlage Coliseum since Jan. 23, 2010. The Cowboys have dropped five straight to the Wildcats in Manhattan.

Despite his fond feelings, Underwood said he won’t get caught up in sentimentality once the game tips off.

“It’s a 40-minute basketball game in the middle of the best league in the country,” Underwood said. “I’m gonna go in there and fight, and I know (K-State coach) Bruce (Weber) has got his guys on an uptick and they’re gonna fight.

“It should be a heck of a college basketball game.”

Sam Grubenhoff is a sports media senior from Mansfield, Texas. He can be reached at sports.ed@ocolly.com OCOLLY.COM

PAGE 6

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Announcements APPLICATIONS INVITED FOR BOTH SUMMER SEMESTER 2017 and FALL SEMESTER 2017 EDITOR‑IN‑CHIEF THE O’COLLY Applications for both Summer Semester 2017 and Fall Semester 2017 Editor‑in‑ Chief of The O’Colly will be accepted from now thru Friday, March 3, 2017.

Applications are now available in the Paul Miller Journalism and Broadcasting Building, room 106. Applicants must return their completed applications to room 106 no later than 4:30 p.m.

Friday, March 3, 2017.

This application process involves two separate positions, EIC for Summer and EIC for Fall. Applicants can apply for one or the other, or both positions. Be sure to indicate which position(s) you wish to be considered for on the application form.

To be eligible for Editor‑In‑ Chief, the applicant must be a student on the Stillwater campus of Oklahoma State University, be in good academic standing (i.e., not on academic probation), have a grade point average of not less than 2.5, and have completed at least 60 hours toward a degree. Applicant must show evidence of having worked one semester in an editor position on The O’Colly. Students serving as an Editor‑in‑Chief may take up to 6 credit hours of independent study in consultation and approval of their major advisor.

An internship on a newspaper in a newsroom capacity may be substituted for one semester of service on The O’Colly. The internship must meet the requirements of the School of Media and Strategic Communications’ current internship course.

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SOLUTION TO TUESDAY’S PUZZLE

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit, 1 to 9.

For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit

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To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging.

Aries (March 21-April 19) -- Today is a 6 -- Take new professional territory. Watch your step to avoid risky business. An uncomfortable situation could arise. Intense work on urgent priorities pays off.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) -- Today is a 6 -- Slow down to avoid accidents, whether or not you’re traveling. Avoid unexpected risk or expense. Hunker down and study your plans. Resist the temptation to splurge.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) -- Today is a 6 -- Handle financial obligations and pay bills. Changes necessitate budget revisions.

Expensive potholes line the road today. Avoid arguments or breakage. Relax and promote peace.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) -- Today is a 6 -- Obstacles line the road to romance today. Unexpected circumstances could seem upsetting. Avoid arguments with your partner or family. Relax and enjoy quiet pursuits.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) -- Today is a 7 -- Delegate or postpone scheduled tasks to allow some breathing room today. Avoid arguments, accidents and irritation by slowing things down.

Nurture your physical health.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) -- Today is a 6 -- A conflict of interests could interrupt your fun today. Referee a family quarrel. Hold your temper. Another person may be disruptive. Don’t force things now.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) -- Today is a 5 -- Breakdowns at home require your attention. Make repairs, especially to plumbing, immediately. Slow down to avoid mistakes and breakage. Practice patience. Support your family.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) -- Today is a 6 -- You’re especially clever and creative, but don’t show unfinished work. Avoid risk and irritation. Read the small print before signing. Watch for hidden expenses. Launch later.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) -- Today is an 8 -- Don’t burn any bridges. Financial snafus and breakdowns require untangling.

Limits are being tested. Avoid reactions and outbursts that you’d later regret. Remember what’s most important.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) -- Today is a 7 -- Don’t let confidence trick you into overspending or making mistakes. Postpone travel or important meetings. Things could get uncomfortable. Assumptions get challenged. Keep your agreements.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) -- Today is a 5 -- Recharge your batteries. Meditate, rest and consider your next steps. Don’t waste physical energy or assume you have plenty. Peace and quiet soothe your spirit.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) -- Today is a 6 -- Discretion is advised. Don’t take anything for granted; accidents and conflict can arise. Keep to your trusted circle of close friends and family.

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