Monday, May 4, 2020

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Mental Health Check The O’Colly takes a look at mental health, talking with a student suicide surivivor and discussing the effects of COVID-19 with psychologists

C OV E R S T O RY

Suicide survivor given gift of colorful life J e t Turn er Staf f R epo rter @ J etBTurn er

Isaiah DeHoyos couldn’t handle his grandmother’s death.

That day, Jan. 17, 2018, started him on a spiral that led to his suicide attempt 611 days later.

DeHoyos, a pure mathematics graduate student at Oklahoma State University, was closest with his grandmother. At one point, they were neighbors in Bridgeport, Texas, DeHoyos’ hometown.

“I have memories of her and I watching Disney movies together on her VCR,” DeHoyos said. “Or her and I picking pecans from her pecan tree and giving them away, or her coming to my graduation when I was valedictorian and her taking photos of me with a disposable Walmart camera when everyone else had iPhones. She was definitely a goofy one.

“It’s hard to choose one memory, but I think my favorite thing about her was her outlook on life. She has a very straightforward outlook in the sense of you do what you have got to do, you do it with the people you love and you will have a happy life.”

DeHoyos’ mom, Cecilia DeHoyos, said the death of his grandmother was devastating to him.

“I’m not sure how to describe it,” Cecilia DeHoyos said. “He was just to himself and did not say much. We could tell he was very heartbroken.”

DeHoyos learned the value of family from an early age while growing up in Bridgeport. He didn’t have a choice but to be close to his family when there were eight people living in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom house.

“It was the eight of us always working together like machines,” DeHoyos said.

“Like, getting ready in the morning all eight of us had a specific spot in the one bathroom, which was the size of a small closet. We knew where to go, and we interacted so well with each other even though it was so cramped. But these are the people that will have my back. It did not feel weird.”

So, when DeHoyos’ family found out about his suicide attempt, a wave of emotions overcame it.

“Being so far from him, I was very worried, devastated and then somewhat angry that he would try to harm himself,” Cecilia DeHoyos said. “It was hurtful because I’ve always told him we are here for him, and we have always supported him. So why would he think suicide is a way out when he has his family that has always had his back?”

DeHoyos slit his wrists, swallowed 40 pills and drank three gulps of bleach on Sept. 20, 2019.

The police found DeHoyos unconscious on his bathroom floor after a friend called them, worried because he wouldn’t answer his phone.

DeHoyos woke up in a hospital room, trying to not

throw up. Hours later, he was handcuffed and driven three hours to a mental health facility. DeHoyos has no idea where the facility was. It was too dark to see outside.

There, he spent the next 16 hours in a room writing down all the prime numbers up to 1,000, watching TV and eating food worse than what can be found at a high school cafeteria, DeHoyos said. Then his mom picked him up.

Bridgeport is also where DeHoyos learned about the way society portrays men as the tough guys who can never show emotion.

Keeping his emotions hidden is one of the reasons he was afraid to share another deeply personal aspect of himself: his sexuality.

Growing up in a family that was Catholic/Jehovah’s Witness, DeHoyos was afraid his family and friends might not accept him if they found out he was gay. DeHoyos always knew he was gay.

“I think I still have thoughts of, ‘Oh, maybe my life would be better if I wasn’t gay,’” DeHoyos said.

Even in middle school, before coming out, DeHoyos was bullied for acting gay.

“Kids would kick me out of guy’s locker room because my voice was too high,” DeHoyos said. “One time I was punched in the face for acting gay, and I missed the school bus that day.

“I think I associated that with showing my emotions.

If I were to show my emo-

Courtesy of Makenzie Driever

Isaiah DeHoyos is colorblind, and his friends gifted him with Enchroma glasses that allow him to see the world in color. DeHoyos said he wants to use the new color in his life to share his story with other people who struggle with mental illness.

tions, that is acting gay or that is not being a ‘dude.’

And that was so deep in my bones that it stuck with me.”

DeHoyos correlates these events with how he acted in high school, focusing on his studies and involving himself in extracurricular activities so it forced him to suppress his emotions and fit into society’s standards.

DeHoyos began to tell people he was gay in private his senior year of high school. He didn’t come out until June 26, 2015, the day the U.S. Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal. Because DeHoyos’ grandmother didn’t have social media, she didn’t know DeHoyos was gay until she was on her death bed. His grandmother was unresponsive when he told her.

DeHoyos isn’t sure she heard him.

“Those were my last words to her,” DeHoyos

said. “I told her that I was gay, and I loved her and I hoped that she still loved me. That was the end of the phone call.

“I know that if she was still alive, she would be proud of what I am doing.

I know she would be proud of me.”

DeHoyos completed his undergraduate degree in mathematics at Oklahoma State University in May 2019 and immediately jumped into graduate school. Before he was accepted into the graduate program, he had to work three jobs to pay for school as well as complete his honors thesis, take graduate classes as an undergrad, be involved in organizations, deal with his grandmothers death and questioning his sexuality.

During his senior year, DeHoyos had almost the same class schedule as one of his best friends, Niki

Heon, who is also in the same graduate program.

They worked on homework together until 3 a.m. more than once a week, rarely slept and constantly forgot to eat. Heon said she and DeHoyos had an obvious change in mental health.

“All of this combined basically threw mental health out the window,” Heon said. “There was no time for that when we had advanced calculus homework to get done. Anxieties were uncontrollable, at least for me, and I know he had the same struggles, if not more. We used to give each other Bible verses to share some hope.”

Since his suicide attempt, DeHoyos has a more positive and hopeful outlook on life. When DeHoyos told Heon about his suicide attempt, he told her it was God giving him a second chance. full story on ocolly.com

lifestyle

COVID-19’s effect on health goes beyond physical Megan Hays L ife style Editor @ megtherep orter

Finals week is not known for its consideration of students’ mental health.

From the uncertainty of final grades and the stress of studying in not ideal environments, it can take a toll.

It is a combination of these things, social distancing orders and the overall state of the country that is causing a trend of increased levels of anxiety and depression in people around the country.

Kara Niccum, a substance abuse counselor at the Oklahoma State University Counseling Center, is seeing this trend in action.

“We as a whole, our numbers are increasing and are going to increase for mental health concerns just because the things that help when it comes to mental health aren’t as readily available right now,” Niccum said For people who already are diagnosed with a mental illness, the social isolation, inability to reach physicians for prescription refills and the loss of certain coping mechanisms can aggravate their symptoms. But even without a diagnosis, people can start to develop issues because of uncertainty and stressful situations in their daily lives, according to clinical psychologist Thad Leffingwell.

“I think for everybody, the stress of the whole situation is not good for one’s mental wellbeing in general,” Leffingwell said. “We know that uncertainty is a real risk factor for disruptions

in psychological wellbeing.

We are certainly dealing with lots and lots of uncertainty, not just uncertainty about when life goes back to something normal … Lots of people have uncertainty about financial situations.

Lots of students are dealing with uncertainty about their future, about graduation.”

The problem the current situation poses for psychologists is they don’t know what to expect from an event of this magnitude or what the effects will do to students.

“I think some of the main things I’m worried about as a psychologist are things like depression and anxiety but also substance abuse problems,” Leffingwell said.

“I think that the thing that is most concerning to me is it is all unknown how much these problems will develop or how long they will persist after because this is a fairly unprecedented situation.

Right now, it is really anyone’s guess if there is really much to worry about this at all.”

Radical changes have affected students from having to move home to the wellbeing of loved ones to adapting to classes in an online setting. The symptoms of anxiety and depression may start to develop as too much or too little sleep and appetite or avoidance of things that cause that anxious feelings because of the loss of comfort provided by the structure of classes or jobs.

There is a risk that without usual coping mechanisms, people will revert to unhealthy behaviors like

Sasha Freemind/Unsplash

Social distancing is starting to effect student’s mental health in negative ways that psychologists are only starting to realize.

drug use and alcoholism.

“Sometimes we’re struggling,” Niccum said. “We want to escape, and we certainly know that people sometimes turn to alcohol or drugs to escape. When we’re essentially limited on where we can go, we feel stuck at home, many people will turn to what feels an easy out, a guaranteed out, just a way of coping, a way of escaping that isn’t the most healthy but it feels good when a lot of things don’t feel good.”

According to Jennifer Labrecque, an assistant professor, the changes happening right now have caused a loss in those core automatic actions students have developed over the past semester while on campus.

“We like stability,” Labrecque said. “We are creatures who do not like change. We are big fans of the status quo. So when you have habits that are adaptive or not particularly adaptive, you know what to expect,

and there are low levels of uncertainty … When people are taken out of those environments, they are in different places or their schedule has changed significantly, they’re unnerving.”

It is the loss of those habits that has caused many of the issues students face, especially during finals week when studying for tests and polishing of final projects doesn’t feel like the thing to do at home.

“Right now, where people have severed these habits and now they are trying to do everything intentionally, that is exhausting,” Labrecque said. “Doing something automatically doesn’t take effort, but doing something intentionally does.

“It makes a lot of sense to me that when a lot of people are already stressed out about other things, even the normal things they do day to day feel more overwhelming because they are having to put effort into every single

one of them rather than doing them automatically as they have in the past.”

It may seem too late or unnecessary to establish a routine now that school is coming to end after finals, but people are at risk of developing a mental illness without a routine in place.

The coping mechanisms that were once part of people’s routines have been lost along with the other good and bad habits, which makes people more susceptible to replacing them with unhealthy ones.

“You lost some of your good habits, but it should also mean you lost some bad habits,” Labrecque said.

“So this is an opportunity to think about, ‘What do I really want? What do I really care about?’ And then start building on those intentions.

“The key of habit formation is to regularly do it in a stable context so making that schedule with those things you really care about being part of it.”

If setting up a consistent schedule seems overwhelming or isn’t helping, OSU’s Counseling Services are still there to help.

Without a clinical diagnosis, students can receive treatment by calling to set up an appointment. Students are able to receive a free intake evaluation and meet with licensed counselors to help them in whatever way they need, and the first four sessions are free.

“The benefits would be preventing it from being at the levels of diagnosable or the levels that it is really starting to interfere with

your life,” Niccum said.

“Perhaps you pick up some healthy coping skills or you work through some things that are bothering you and you can decrease the impact that whatever you are struggling with is having or was having and you can keep it from escalating.”

It is important to keep in mind that OSU counselors are only linceced in Oklahoma, so unless the student is physically present in the state, they can’t be treated.

They still have the option of working with MD Live to get the help they need wherever they are.

The stress, lack of connection because of social distancing and the overall situation is having an effect on people. It is important that people aren’t alone.

The social distancing orders are meant to keep people physically away from each other, but connectedness between loved ones can still be achieved through other means such as video chats or phone calls.

“Right now, that is our only source of connectedness, so we are just relying on that instead of face to face interactions,” Niccum said. “Humans are a very social species. I think this point in time, we’re all realizing how communinal of a society we are. We derive meaning, pleasure and all the emotions we are in connection with other people quite often, so to stay socially connected is just so important for our mental health and overall life satisfaction.”

S P O RT S

Friendships between student-athletes play key role in recruiting H a llie Hart S taf f R ep orter @hallieha rt

Alysen Febrey rarely keeps a secret from Jordan Doggett, but she couldn’t reveal how Doggett would have the opportunity to join her on Oklahoma State’s softball team.

Febrey knew a day early because coach Kenny Gajewski called her and said he planned to extend an offer to Doggett, Febrey’s former teammate at Georgia. It was tough for Febrey to avoid giving away the surprise when her close friend mentioned OSU, but after Doggett heard the news from Gajewski, they could celebrate.

“We have been talking about it since the day she’s committed,” Febrey said. “She is so excited to go out there, and I’m really excited to show her around, just everything with Stillwater.”

Although it’s unusual for best friends to be teammates at two universities, it has become common for bonds between student-athletes to influence the recruiting process. Because of travel teams, the AAU circuit and social media, their lives are increasingly interconnected before they arrive at a college.

Recruits share tweets from others who receive offers and announce their college decisions in highlight videos for the online world to see.

Commits communicate in

Courtesy of Jordan Doggett

Alysen Febrey (left) and Jordan Doggett met on a travel team and played softball together at Georgia. Now, they are planning to be teammates again, this time at Oklahoma State.

Snapchat groups before they arrive on campus, and high school students from different states keep up with one another’s recruiting journeys because of friendships they forged during summer league competition.

Febrey and Doggett met as eighth-graders when they played travel ball together in Georgia.

“We go way back, and I’ve seen her grow as a person and a player,” Febrey said.

The web of longtime connections among student-athletes has changed the game of recruiting.

Coaches drive the process, but the presence of a familiar future teammate can give a prospective student-athlete extra

motivation to choose a school. Student-athletes are simultaneously playing the roles of recruits and recruiters.

Mike Boynton, the OSU men’s basketball coach, said he has noticed this shift, and it has worked to his advantage because of point guard Cade Cunningham.

As the nation’s top recruit in the 2020 class, Cunningham, from Arlington, Texas, exemplifies how one big-name star can inspire other student-athletes to buy into a plan for elevating an athletic program.

Boynton said Cunningham has played a vital role in recruiting the majority of the Cowboys’ five other signees, and

his prominence in the basketball world isn’t the only reason.

“People gravitate to him because of his unselfishness,” Boynton said. “He’s a winner and a really unselfish player, and obviously, they know that playing with him will bring opportunities to be seen by people at the highest level of basketball. So he’s been a big part of our recruiting process, and he will continue to be.”

Some of OSU’s signees know what it’s like to play basketball with Cunningham. Rondel Walker and Montreal Pena were Cunningham’s teammates on the Texas Titans AAU squad.

Although Donovan Williams, a signee from Lincoln, Nebraska, didn’t play for the Titans, he met Cunningham when their AAU teams faced each other. Williams said he thinks it was during their freshman summer.

Throughout Williams’ AAU career, he encountered opponents who were especially memorable because of their braggadocio and flashy dunks to back it up. Cunningham impressed him in a different way.

“Cade’s not really fancy or showboaty,” Williams said. “He just wins. He’s just a winner.”

Williams considered going to Kansas State, but he said the chance to play alongside Cunningham is a major factor that persuaded him to choose OSU. Williams recog-

nizes Cunningham is focused on preparing for an NBA career, so he said he wants to gain insight into Cunningham’s training methods, nutritional habits and perspective of the game.

Williams, who also aspires to become a pro, said Cunningham can absorb knowledge from him as well.

“It’s easy to be around people that have the same mindset as you,” Williams said. “If I want to be a millionaire, I’m going to surround myself with millionaires. If I want to be a rapper, I’m going to surround myself with rappers. So it’s like, why not surround yourself with people that have the same goals and visions as you?”

Boynton said Ferron Flavors Jr., a graduate transfer from California Baptist, is another signee who wanted to chat with Cunningham about how they can work with each other. As student-athletes trickle into the transfer portal, attracting veteran players has become important for teams across the nation.

Doggett, a senior utility player from McDonough, Georgia, hadn’t imagined she would get the opportunity to transfer anywhere for next season. She had expected her college career would end this year, so the idea of playing at OSU with Febrey was nothing more than an imaginary scenario.

Then sports seasons

were cut short in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the NCAA granted spring-sport athletes another year of eligibility. Doggett realized one more year of college could give her a chance to step outside her comfort zone and travel farther from home, though she said she enjoyed playing at Georgia.

“I just felt like it was time to make more of a decision for myself and look elsewhere,” Doggett said.

Febrey notified Gajewski when Doggett entered the transfer portal. Although Febrey and Doggett met because of travel ball, they grew from acquaintances to confidants during their sophomore year as infielders for the Bulldogs.

Doggett was downhearted to see one of her best friends leave for their senior season, but because they checked in with each other nearly every day, she realized how Febrey was thriving at OSU. “She played with confidence, and I feel like she really blossomed a lot, even more, as a person there,” Doggett said. “…

Whenever I could watch some of her games, I would, and she just looked happy.”

Doggett said she would have considered OSU if she didn’t know Febrey, but their tight bond made the opportunity especially enticing. full story on ocolly.com

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

Houses For Rent

Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Lewis

ACROSS 1 Cream and ice cream 6 Toronto Argos’ org.

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600+ Rental Units Available Full Listings @ Stillwaterpm. com Stillwater Property 633 N. Husband 405-743-2126

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By Nancy Black Tribune Content Agency

Level 1

2

3

4

5/4/20

By Craig Stowe

67 Tell the waitperson what you want 68 Entry charge 69 Peddler’s assortment

Daily Horoscope

c las s if ieds

FOR RELEASE MAY 4, 2020

Saturday’s Puzzle Solved

5/4/20

Solution to Saturday’s puzzle

©2020 Tribune Content Agency, LLC

34 Elephant of children’s lit 35 Barbra of “Yentl” 36 However, briefly 37 Designer __ 39 Belarus denial 40 Lacking a musical ear 41 Sleep acronym 46 Make a difference 47 Peaceful 48 Bart’s bus driver 50 Poet’s forte

5/4/20

51 Old-time actress Mansfield or Meadows 53 Deed holder 54 In what place 55 Alphabetizes, say 58 Eject, as lava 60 Fuss 61 As __: according to 63 Longoria of “Overboard” (2018)

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit, 1 to 9.

For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit sudoku.org.uk

© 2020 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency. All rights reserved.

Today’s Birthday (05/04/20). Explore beyond old limitations or boundaries this year. Apply persistence, passion and creativity for professional success. Overcome summer financial challenges together by strengthening bonds and connections. All this change hides abundant opportunity. Income shifts this winter lead to collaborative profits. Share and support each other.

To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging.

Aries (March 21-April 19) -- Today is an 8 -- Accept assistance to get past an obstacle or barrier. Communication is the key that unlocks most doors. Connect for mutual support. Share confidences and secrets.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) -- Today is an 8 -- Don’t push yourself too hard.

When you need rest, take it. Physical obstacles block progress. Slow down, relax and prioritize health. Eat something delicious.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) -- Today is a 7 -- Enjoy the game without taking expensive or unnecessary risks. Obstacles block a romantic pursuit. Wait for developments. Find creative ways to express your heart.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) -- Today is a 7 -- It’s busy at home. Clean messes or things pile up. Collaborate to minimize chaos or irritation. Communication clears the space. Figure out priorities together.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) -- Today is a 7 -- Dig deeper into a favorite subject. Obstacles block your creativity or communications. Patiently study the situation and wait for developments. Catch up on reading.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) -- Today is a 9 -- Connect to share resources when cash flow trickles. Offer what you can spare and let others know what you need.

Communication can open new possibilities.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) -- Today is a 9 -- You’re growing stronger. Things don’t go as planned. Don’t give up. Get help when needed. Slow to avoid mistakes.

Practice patience. Pamper yourself.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) -- Today is a 6 -- Give in to dreams, visions and wondering. Your imagination could either run wild or feel completely blocked. Tap into creativity with extra rest, introspection and peace.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) -- Today is an 8 -- You have more friends than you realized. Find new ways to stay connected. New leadership enters the scene.

Adapt collaborations to go around communication barriers.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) -- Today is an 8 -- Focus on career matters. Find opportunities where least expected. Strategize and set backup plans for delays or mistakes. Communicate and collaborate for efficient action.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) -- Today is a 7 -- Delays, confusion and errors could interfere with travel and education plans. Find new ways to study and learn.

Connect with people you respect.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) -- Today is a 7 -- Revise financial plans. Do the math.

Mistakes get expensive. Keep careful track for later gain. Play the game exactly by the book. Complete the paperwork.