Wh
o sh
ould
keep the ring after a s
? n o i at epar
She calls the whole thing off – or he does – or they both decide that it wasn’t such a good idea after all. Who gets the ring? Under Australian law, the answer is deceptively simple. Whoever called it off loses the bauble, unless the decision was mutual, in which case, it goes back to the giver. But real life is rarely that simple.
An engagement ring is a conditional gift ... In the latest NSW case, Papathanasopoulos v Vacopoulos, Ms. P called it off and offered the ring back to Mr. V. Mr. V. told her to keep it. Ms. P. then gave it to her father, along with other keepsakes of the relationship and asked him to throw them away. Her father apparently did. Then Mr. V. sued Ms. P. for the cost of the ring, which had been pricey. The court held for Mr. V., reaffirming a rule set out nearly a hundred years ago. An engagement ring is a ‘conditional gift’ and until the condition (the marriage) occurs, it must be returned to the giver unless there is a legal justification for the decision to end the engagement.
As recently summarized: • If a woman receives an engagement ring and refuses to follow through with the marriage, she must return it; • If a man, without a recognised legal justification, refuses to carry out his promise to marry, he cannot ask for the ring back; and • If the engagement is called off by mutual consent, then in the absence of any agreement to the contrary, the engagement ring and similar gifts must be returned by each party to the other.
But this formulation carries a faintly musty whiff of ancient concepts like dower and bride price. The law surrounding engagement gifts seems slightly antique. The simple rule hardly scratches the surface modern life.
Facts have a way of making hash out of clear rules. For example: • When is a gift given “in contemplation of marriage,” and when is it just a present? • If these rules also apply to gifts ‘like” engagement rings, what are those? Is a new car like an engagement ring? Is a nose ring? • What if a gift comes with hope for a life together, but is given by one same-sex partner to another or in any other situation where the couple has no immediate legal prospect of actually being able to marry? • Are these rules gender neutral? What if a woman gives a man a ring? • What, beyond bigamy or deception about either party being underage, is a recognised legal justification for refusing to carry out a promise of marriage? • What if there is a dispute between the parties about who called it off? • What if the couple marries, but never lives together, appears to conduct separate lives and divorces as soon as possible thereafter? These are the kinds of hard cases that make law.
It’s complicated ...
What do we know now? For starters, don’t throw the ring in the rubbish bin. It reduces your options. Beyond that, however, and especially with complicated and contested situations, it may be wise to consult an experienced family lawyer. At Owen Hodge Lawyers, we would be happy to help you sort out engagement ring questions and any other matters of family law.
Call us at your earliest convenience at 1800 780 770. OHL@owenhodge.com.au
www.owenhodge.com.au