On the Road My Brucie bonus

Jimmy Tarbuck, 83, has cracked gags with Bruce Forsyth, Eric Morecambe and Des O’Connor for 60 years. By Louise Flind

Did you always want to be on the stage?

I always wanted to be the centre of attraction.

Do you remember John Lennon at primary school?

He was a good laugh. I got on well with him, but I was more sport-minded than him. I went to school just to play football and basketball and go to the local swimming baths, where I cracked my tooth and got the gap in my teeth. I saw my sister yesterday, who’d lost a tooth, and I said, ‘Are you trying to look like me?’

Were there any entertainers in your family? Mother was a dancer, and Dad used to like to get up and give a song.

What was the Palladium like in the ’60s? Sensational. Crosby, Hope, Sinatra, the Beatles, Tom Jones, Shirley Bassey, Cilla, Frankie Vaughan, they’d all been on that stage and I defy you not to get a touch of the nerves. The night before my first night, I’d been on at a club in Manchester and then we drove through the night, slept in the car and the next minute I was at the Palladium.

I did the worst rehearsal possible because of nerves and then the producer Val Parnell came up to me and said, ‘Is this funny what you’re doing?’ and I said, ‘It was last night.’

He said, ‘Call me Uncle Val.’

I was 22 and he said, ‘Enjoy it tonight. You’ve got a lot of style. Get on there and give it them.’

And Bruce [Forsyth] brought me on and the first gag never got a titter. And I just said, ‘Well, don’t laugh then’ and that got a bit of a titter.

What were the early days of comedy touring like?

They were great. A lot of the comics were 20 years older than me and, all of a sudden, this kid comes on and they said he’s the fifth Beatle. And I was dressed like them – the hair – and it happened. Eric Morecambe, an absolute hero, said, ‘You’ve got something, son. Don’t try and find out what it is. You just be you.’

What was Bruce Forsyth like?

He was very nice to a young comic. He introduced me great the first night and I was on the Royal Command with him and there was the Queen in the box. The only time I’d seen the Queen was on a stamp.

How did you get along with Barry Cryer?

I didn’t work with him much, and we didn’t mix in the same company – except one of his friends was one of my very best friends, Ronnie Corbett.

You shot to fame – how did you cope with that?

I didn’t have to cope with it. The fame just coped. When I went to America, Bob Hope was very nice, put me on his television show, and then I flew to Australia and it was just like being at home. I was enjoying myself.

What was it like touring with Des O’Connor? A pleasure. He was the ultimate professional. Every night I’d get a gag to make him laugh – and he was a giggler. I’d say, ‘They’re queuing for your autograph: all those old ladies want their pension books signed.’

Why do so many comedians come out of Liverpool?

The great Arthur Askey said, ‘You’ve got to be a comedian to live there.’

What’s your view of alternative comedy? If someone says ‘F off’, it can enhance a joke, but people don’t want to hear ‘F off’ every other word. You don’t mind a rudish cheeky joke.

Is golf your favourite game?

Football’s my favourite game. I had two or three trials and played in the junior teams at Brighton & Hove Albion, and I was working at Butlin’s at the same time doing the jokes every night.

Did you enjoy celebrity golf?

I enjoyed working with Peter Alliss on the celebrity golf because you played with the world’s best players: Tom Watson, Seve Ballesteros.

Where did you go on your honeymoon? Nowhere – couldn’t afford it in those days.

Is there anything you can’t leave home without?

For work, the suit bag – and in there’s the outfit that I walk on stage in. And the golf clubs if I’m going to play golf.

What’s your favourite destination?

We have a residence in Portugal. They’re gentle people, the Portuguese – friendly – and there are wonderful golf courses. I’ll go to my favourite restaurant, Mr Frango’s: ‘Ah, Mr Jimmy, you’re back. Is that young girl you’re with your wife?’ It’s a lady of 75 and we’ll have a laugh.

What are your earliest childhood holiday memories?

My dad, Fred, used to take my sister, Mum and me to the Isle of Man, very near Liverpool. What tickled me was they had donkeys pulling the trams.

Do you have a go at the local language?

I’ve learnt certain words – por favor, jambon – and beer is the same all over.

What are your top travelling tips?

Patience. These poor buggers on these desks, they’re trying their best.

Jimmy Tarbuck is touring in 2023