The Orbital December 2012 (series 26, issue 5)

THE ORBITAL DECEMBER 2012

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www.theorbital.co.uk

THE OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER OF THE STUDENTS’ UNION ROYAL HOLLOWAY, UNIVERSITY OF LONDON

ULU threatened by college pull-outs - Principals bemoan lack of value for money - One college confirms withdrawal from union by end of year

Alex Pegler Deputy Editor THE University of London Union (ULU) does not provide good value for money and will be subjected to college withdrawals, principals have told a collegiate review group.

Consulting the heads of the university’s colleges, the University of London-backed working group revealed that at least one college had stated its intention to formally withdraw from the London-wide union by the end of the 2012-13 academic year.

A university principal reportedly told the working group that “the ULU offering at present is not considered relevant and we are unanimous in not wishing to allocate resources to it”.

NEWS P3: A30 petition Explosion of support for campaign to stop road deaths in vicinity of college.

FEATURES P14: Egham Sun Take a trip down memory lane into the depths of our archives.

Another testimonial read “the College does not benefit from ULU – and if it vanished tomorrow our students would not care”.

In a dossier sent to the ULU senate chair by deputy university secretary Maureen Boylan, the review group noted that there was a consensus amongst college bosses that “ULU was not good value for money”. The group revealed that “even those colleges who felt some services and activities were useful, did not think that they got good value for the money the college invested”.

A number of college leaders also blasted the “extremely low” turnout in ULU elections and questioned the union’s alleged “lack of accountability and responsiveness to college continued page 3

COMMENT P11: No platform Jamie Green believes fascist groups shouldn’t have a say at Royal Holloway.

LIFESTYLE P20: Ethical gifts Sarah Hawkins waxes lyrical about the importance of doing your research.

- University of London promises “radical” review - “Students would not care if ULU vanished”: college boss

Photo: Matthew Black

IN NUMBERS

1013

The number of signatories of a petition calling for an A30 crossing (see page 3).

ARTS P26: Argo Thomas McDonald runs the rule over a potential box office hit.

1.1m

The number of children who received a shoebox from Operation Christmas Child.

£0

The amount of tax that Starbucks has paid in the UK since 2009.

SPORTS & SOCS P29: Societies History society president Rebekah Griffiths reviews the Blitz Ball.

SERIES 26

ISSUE 5

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The Orbital

NEWS

Dec 2012

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The Board Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief

editor@theorbital.co.uk

Alex Pegler Deputy Editor

deputyeditor@theorbital.co.uk

Ramona Saigol News Editor

news@theorbital.co.uk

Stephen Atkinson Comment Editor

comment@theorbital.co.uk

Simon Rawlings Lifestyle Editor

lifestyle@theorbital.co.uk

Rachel Ivens Features Editor

features@theorbital.co.uk

Rebecca Hilsdon Arts Editor arts@theorbital.co.uk

Shannon Mizzi Sports & Socs Editor

sportsandsocs@theorbital.co.uk

James Griffen Web Editor

web@theorbital.co.uk

Zosia Edwards Art Director art@theorbital.co.uk

The Orbital is the official publication of the Students’ Union, Royal Holloway, University of London, and is run entirely by an elected board of students. It is editorially independent of both Royal Holloway and the Students’ Union.

If you have any questions or want to write for us, send an email to getinvolved@ theorbital.co.uk, or contact the relevant section editor directly.

Design: Julian Farmer and Jack Gordon theorbital.co.uk @theorbitalrhul facebook.com/ theorbital

Leone Richmond Admin Director admin@theorbital.co.uk

Jamie S Green Executive Editor (VPComCam) jamie@theorbital.co.uk

Welcome to the fifth installment of the Orbital. I would like to offer a warm welcome to two new members of the editorial board.

Rachel Ivens (Features Editor) and Leone Richmond (Admin Director) will do a cracking job I’m sure.

It’s been long and fun night putting this issue together, especially incorporating articles from a whole new base of contributors. It will be fantastic to see how the newspaper evolves over the next few months; it’s weird to think that I’m halfway through my editorship.

Talking of the evolution of the publication,

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NHS pitfalls, and the campaign to correct them

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Puzzles

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Model of the month

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Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief

Chessum elected on anti-cuts platform

24 Music Amnesty International

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From the Editors branded Orbital dump bins have started to appear around campus at strategic points (Bedford Library, Founder’s Building etc), hopefully making it easier for people to pick up copies!

Apart from arranging the above, I’ve also had my first meeting with the Scrutiny and Accountability sub-committee.

These guys make sure that elected officers at the Students’ Union are doing their job, and as scary as it was we just went through my manifesto from when I got elected to make sure I’m doing what I promised.

So, that’s about it! I hope you enjoy this Christmas edition of the Orbital, and we’ll see you in the new year.

Alex Pegler Deputy Editor

So the last Orbital of 2012 is upon us.

It’s 6:36 am here in the office and we’ve been here far too long! But, fuelled by nothing more than sheer belief and caffeine, we’ve almost finished!

Credit must go to a certain Jack Gordon who has given up the luxury of a night’s sleep to manically design pages — cheers Jack.

This issue features some diamonds from the archives.

Be sure to check out the Features section for the Egham Sun’s 1992 essential guide to naked rugby, or indeed reminisce about the good old days when union tickets cost a mere three quid.

What a year it

has been. Mo Farah won two gold medals, a British man won a grand slam, and England went out of a major tournament on penalties. Ah well, there’s always next time. Probably.

Politically, I’m trying to think of anything worth mentioning this year. I’m struggling!

So back to the sport.

I managed to finish the Luton Marathon in a time of 4 hours 23 minutes. If I’m honest, I was fighting back the tears on the final few corners but soon realised that the fact that my legs were on fire was probably a more pressing issue!

I hope everyone has a great Christmas with family and friends and that 2013 gets off to a flyer!

Students vote to condemn Cooper remembrance service declination

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“I do have sex with my girlfriend”

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Egham Sun archive

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Recipes

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Film reviews

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Christmas Community Action

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Explosion of support for A30 crossing revamp Harry Angers and Julian Farmer

OVER 1,000 people have signed a petition calling for Surrey County Council to take immediate action to improve pedestrian safety at the Englefield Green crossroads.

The petition, which gained more than 700 signatures in 12 hours, was created in response to the council’s Runnymede Local Committee (RLC) meeting on 26 November that provided the results of a traffic survey.

The survey showed that in a 12-hour period between 7am and 7pm, a total of 2,257 pedestrians crossed the road and that there is “high demand for safe pedestrian facilities at this location”.

Those carrying out the survey also observed that “pedestrians crossing at the junction have to judge when it is safe to cross by observing traffic.”

The report also reveals that Surrey Police’s Road Safety and Traffic Management Officer had written to the county council expressing his concerns about safety at the crossing.

In the recommendations section, the officer report

by Andrew Milne, Area Highways Manager (North West) concluded that a controlled pedestrian crossing would be “highly meritous”, but that further studies need to be done on

the impact of installing said crossing.

The Egham Hill junction has long been an accident hotspot with a reported seven pedestrians suffering injuries of varying degrees since 2007, two of which were fatal. The most recent incident was that of Royal Holloway student Kayleigh Sugar, who tragically died while crossing the road on 2 March.

The 26 November RLC meeting decided that a new survey will be commissioned before a decision on the installation of a crossing at the junction. The results of that survey will not be considered until the RLC’s next meeting on 25 February 2013, at which point the committee will vote on whether or not introduce a crossing at Egham Hill. If approved, physical work should commence some point after the 25 February meeting of the RLC. Surhul’s Englefield Green representative, Rustam Majainah, stated that the decision to do another survey would result in “three months of more danger” for pedestrians. He said: “They seem to be weighing up the cost of traffic against the cost of lives.

“If they [the RLC] don’t build a crossing then we’re going to need to know how much traffic a life is worth. In my opinion safety should always be paramount.”

Another report presented

Retraction IN THE October issue of the Orbital, we incorrectly reported that Professor Frank had “aired his grievances to the Daily Mail” during his Reading Employment Tribunal

case. Professor Frank did not in fact speak to the Daily Mail; the story was reported by a freelance journalist present at the tribunal.

In our November issue, we reported that Professor Clare Bradley

at the RLC meeting outlined the current estimated cost of the road surveys, a traffic signal timing trial and congestion computer modelling as being £20,000. It is believed that a further undisclosed amount, as of the date of publishing, is expected to be spent on the new traffic survey.

Three crossing options were considered in the report: providing crossings on two arms of the junction, providing staggered crossing, and an all-red phase. The recommended option was the all-red pedestrian phase as it was considered to be the most viable.

If implemented, traffic from all approaches would stop whilst pedestrians crossed for an undisclosed period of time. The apparent consequence of installing a crossing using the recommended solution would be an increase “in queue lengths along all four approaches to the A30 junction.”

Previous calls for a pedestrian tunnel under the road have been dismissed due to the potential cost.

At the time of publishing, the minutes from the meeting have not been updated from the template published on the county council’s website. Attempts were also made to contact members of the RLC, but all were unavailable for comment.

had suggested that the College had potentially misled students about the reporting of the case. We would like to clarify that Professor Bradley was speaking about the College’s management and not

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ULU review continued from page 1 students’ unions”.

ULU president Michael Chessum said: “It’s not my fault, or any candidate’s fault, that elections turnout is small.

“With a bit of a nudge — by running the elections alongside college elections - we could raise turnout by tenfold or more overnight.

“If that happens, a ULU president would have a mandate not dissimilar to some MPs.” University of London Collegiate Council member

professor Paul Webley stressed that the working group had been tasked with undertaking a “radical” review of ULU. He said: “The purpose of the review is to consider the requirements of a federal students’ union, how such a union might complement local students’ unions and local services and how ULU stacks up against these criteria.

“It was made clear at the Collegiate Council that this was to be a radical review and that all options were on the table.”

Surhul ents officer resigns Lucas Wright

RHUL Labour and Co-operative Society president Dan Heley has resigned as Surhul entertainments officer.

Mr Heley, 25, was elected to the “ents” post in March of this year. His resignation came on the back of the Surhul General meeting that took place on 4 December. The Labour Society president opposed a motion proposed by Susuana Abena on the topic of protests occurring outside abortion clinics.

It is understood that Mr Heley reportedly resigned as a protest at the conduct of members present at the GM. The agenda for the GM included a motion to mandate the

the College itself.

We would firstly like to apologise for misquoting Professor Bradley by omitting the word “management” in her quotes. We would also like to apologise for failing to check

entertainments officer to investigate the possibility of a “Dan Heleythemed union function night”. After the motion regarding supporting campaigning efforts against groups protesting outside abortion clinics was passed by a large majority, the proposers of the function night motion chose to withdraw it.

Jack Gordon, a proposer of the themed union night, said: “We withdrew the motion because we didn’t feel it appropriate to continue with it.”

Heley, of Luton, was also elected as one of Surhul’s two 2013 NUS delegates.

The delegates are due to represent the union at the NUS National Conference in Sheffield next year. He has not resigned from this post.

the final version of the article with Professor Bradley before going to print despite agreeing to do so. We are happy to set the record straight, and sincerely apologise for any offence caused.

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o Chessum elected on anti-cuts platform The Orbital

NEWS

Dec 2012

Ramona Saigol News Editor MICHAEL Chessum has been elected president of the University of London Union after receiving the highest number of votes in a recent by-election held in November.

Chessum was declared the winner receiving 770 votes out of a total turnout of 1,469. His win saw him beat five other candidates to the presidential role, with the number of results received as following: Will Hall – 513; Gala Jackson-Coombs – 370; Nathan Long – 162; Jed Keenan - 118.

Speaking of his win, Chessum declared: “It’s great to have been elected - and elected on a radical platform of free education,

housing, and liberation.”

Ecstatic to take up the presidential position, Chessum explained his plans for the future of the University of London Union and his current plan of action: “My main aim for ULU is to make it a hub of serious, grassroots activism and to co-ordinate a fight across London on bread and butter issues that affect students.

“We’re launching a ULU Housing campaign - focused on rents, halls prices, and the plans to make students pay council tax; we’ve organised big, positive feeder marches for the NUS and TUC demos; we’re in the process of introducing a full time Women’s Officer; and we’re going to look at completely altering the way

ULU is governed and run.”

The total number of voters in the election made up a mere 1% of the overall electorate, with many large London institutions having an extremely low turnout with as few as 2 members of the student body partaking in the election. The London colleges claiming the largest turnout were that of UCL with 475 students and Birbeck University with 160 students voting in the election, suggesting a relation between proximity of the institutions and the union itself. A relatively minute number of 81 students from Royal Holloway voted.

The low levels of voters comparatively to the number of students the University of London Union

represents has led many to question the validity of the unions power and representation.

Responding to these allegations, Chessum stated: “Some of the issue here is also about political disagreements.

“It’s a common tactic if you disagree with an elected officer to rely on some kind of meta-argument about how X Union ‘doesn’t represent’ ordinary students.

“Be that as it may, it isn’t constructive: if you disagree with what your elected representatives are doing or saying, the only way to solve that problem is to have a proper, open political debate.

“I also think that the political platform that

people like me and Daniel Cooper were elected on does in fact represent students: fighting fees and cuts, campaigning for decent and affordable housing, and opposing discrimination and oppression are stances that a majority of students would want us to be active on.

“If you disagree, let’s have an argument about it.”

Chessum has most recently been representing the University of London Union in the current UCL occupation relating to building a new campus on the Carpenters estate in Stratford (see London Connection for more information) and continues to work towards his presidential aims in the coming term.

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UCL activists in occupation protest UCL students have occupied university premises, in protest against recent plans to demolish the Carpenters Estate, leaving hundreds homeless, in order to construct a new Stratford Campus.

Students occupied the Garden Room in the main UCL building on November 29th, fighting against proposals announced by UCL management after the £1 billion plans were approved by Newham Council recently.

700 resident homes will be affected by the proposed plans and 318 households and residents have already been evicted in preparation for the new UCL campus in

spite of extreme opposition.

The student occupation comes after a series of of public campaigns, open meetings and consultations held by both UCL students and local residents affected by the proposals, in order to gain the attention of the enforcing council and UCL management.

The UCL union released a statement detailing their opposition to the plans stating that “UCL’s process thus far has included little to no satisfactory consultation with residents and the wider UCL community”.

Occupying students are yet to reach a finalised agreement with the management team.

THE students of Surhul have voted to condemn ULU vice president Daniel Cooper’s decision to decline an invitation to attend a University of London remembrance service.

A 27 November campus-wide referendum saw 316 out of a total of 589 students vote in favour of the emergency motion proposed at a Surhul general meeting earlier in the month. 240 students voted against the motion whilst 33 chose to abstain.

As a result of the referendum vote, Surhul president Doug German will write to Mr Cooper, officially condemning his decision and a published statement will be issued on behalf of the union, expressing formal dissent to the elected official’s conduct.

The aforementioned motion was first discussed at the SU general meeting held on 13 November. A

procedural motion then passed, ensuring the issue would go to a campuswide vote. An emergency general meeting to further discuss the highly contentious decision was held on 17 November, where the debate was discussed further.

The proposer of the motion, Alex Pegler, branded the decision a “poppy snub”, stating: “He (Cooper) took a decision that was, in the eyes of a very sizable chunk of the British population and indeed the London student population, disrespectful.

“Whilst a ULU elected official is not constitutionally mandated to attend such a function when invited, it is not unreasonable to suggest that a large number of students would naturally expect the ULU acting president to go and represent them.”

Pegler clarified that whilst he was proposing the official condemnation of Cooper’s decision, he was “not calling for his

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THELONDON CONNECTION

UCL

LSE

LSE votes to not sell the Sun in students’ union shop LSE students have voted to remove copies of the Sun from their students’ union shop with a view to not selling the publication in the future. LSE General Secretary Alex Peters-Day said: “The SU does not stock every single newspaper, decisions are made about what newspapers we sell, we do not stock every single newspaper...

“The SU makes a number of decisions that are also

Cooper remembrance service declination condemned Ramona Saigol News Editor

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COMMENT FEATURES LIFESTYLE ARTS

SOAS

political.” The move was met with opposition from the LSE Hayek Society who began distributing the Sun on Houghton Street, the main thoroughfare through campus.

A Hayek Society spokesman said: “University is a place for debate and discussion, not censorship.

“The right to offend is crucial in a free and open society.”

SOAS students in occupation for Gaza SOAS students have occupied the university’s Brunei Suite in order to raise awareness of the humanitarian crises in Gaza.

The “SOAS4GAZA” group cited the deaths of more than 100 Palestinians as a result of Israel’s latest military operation as a motivation behind the occupation.

behaviour to be liable to sanction or that he should resign”.

The question of Cooper’s resignation came after the announcement of his absence from the Remembrance Day service. A Facebook page titled “Dan Cooper must resign as ULU VicePresident” rapidly gained supporters with current figures of more than 1,700 “likes”.

A signed petition is currently circulating in support of a vote of no-confidence against Cooper due to his recent conduct.

Cooper released two statements detailing his reasoning in choosing to abstain from partaking in the ceremony.

Cooper claims that: “The glorification of war through remembrance day includes wars fought to defend British colonial interests, and to perpetuate colonial oppression.”

He deemed it “not

Group spokeswoman Maya Pope-Weidemann said: “Silence in the presence of such an overly proIsraeli foreign policy is not neutrality.”

The occupation involved 50 students on the first night, growing to as many as 300 students for historian Tariq Ali’s visit on the following day.

appropriate for ULU, as a representative body, to attend a ceremony in which many of the ancestors of our international students were citizens of these nations”.

Cooper continued: “There have been calls for my resignation from ULU. “I will not be resigning.

I have broken no rules, there was no policy on the issue, it was not part of my job description and it was an act of conscience on my part.”

The opponents of the motion echoed the rhetoric of Cooper, stating that ULU have no policy on remembrance day services, nor was he under any “formal or professional obligation to personally attend.”

Furthering their argument, they

continued: “The attempts to condemn Daniel for such an act of conscience are an attack on the right to freedom of expression.”

Members of RHUL’s History department issued a statement supporting Cooper’s decision to decline his invitation, also expressing their concern that his freedom of expression was undermined in the insistence that all should engage in remembrance services.

Proponents of the referendum responded to these allegations, stating that “the students which he was elected to serve also enjoy the freedom of expression to object to his conduct”.

A finalised response on the course of action to be taken by the University of London Union is yet to be announced.

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College update Shining a light on future sporting STARS Elite student athletes at Royal Holloway were made members of the Student Talented Athlete Recognition Scheme (STARS) during a special awards ceremony.

Twenty-five awardees including Thomas Smallbone, a Geography student and professional rugby player with London Irish, and fencer Acland Bryant, who is studying Mathematics and is a hopeful for the 2016 Olympics, received bursaries to help them achieve their full potential.

The ceremony on Wednesday 28 November, also saw five-

time Olympic gold medallist Sir Steve Redgrave awarded an Honorary Degree.

Since its launch in 1996, STARS has supported many Olympians and more than 90 world-class athletes. A number of alumni competed at the 2012 Olympics, all of whom were supported by Royal Holloway’s sports bursaries.

Mark Hyndman, Sports Development Executive at Royal Holloway, said: “All 25 students recognised in the STARS Awards have shown outstanding ability, with many representing Royal Holloway

Get sporty!

A year after its launch, Royal Holloway’s be.active programme boasts more than 2000 users and over 600 members as it goes into its second year.

A sports programme designed to provide a fun and social way to exercise, be.active is part of the nationwide Active Universities campaign funded through Sport England. With over £8 million of investment from the National Lottery, the aim is to encourage more students across the UK to get fit and improve participation among young people. be.active offers students at Royal Holloway the chance to try eight sports including basketball and badminton as well as 5-a-side football and dance exercise classes such as Zumba. All the equipment is provided, with the option of ‘pay as you play’ or a yearly £30 membership.

As well as seeing an increase in the amount of participants throughout the year, organisers say it has also been a great

platform for volunteering in sport. For example, this term, 28 students put themselves forward as volunteers, giving up a combined 172 hours of their time.

Kate Carey, Sports Activator at Royal Holloway said: “I am delighted with the way the first year of be.active has gone. It has been fantastic to see the enjoyment everyone is getting from the activities as well as the impressive commitment shown by our student volunteers.”

Indeed feedback from participants and volunteers has been very positive. One volunteer said the scheme “had a lot to offer students at Royal Holloway...making sport more accessible” and providing the opportunity to “keep fit, meet new people and try out new sports and activities that they might have avoided otherwise.”

More information is available from www.rhul.ac.uk/sports Or better still, stay up to date with the latest RHULSPORT news via Facebook www. facebook.com/RHULSPORT

at the highest level. We hope this bursary will help them in their quest for sporting glory and, you never know, could even lead to them becoming Olympic champions.”

Ones to watch among the STARS awardees include Emelia Gorecka, a Psychology student and international long-distance runner with huge potential.

She will join Emily Moss, who is studying German and Isabel Brinsden, who is studying English, to form part of Royal Holloway’s cross country team at this year’s British Universities and Colleges Sport

championships. Indeed, they are tipped to give some of the bigger running institutions a ‘run’ for their money!

The support offered by STARS aims to reflect the amount of time, effort, enthusiasm and dedication its awardees put into their training and performance, and their contribution to the scheme.

They are entitled to benefits including financial support, free access to campus sports facilities, a liaison mentor, access to a strength and conditioning coach and discounted chiropractic care.

Support & Advisory: Inclusivity awareness The Educational Support Office has been leading on a project to promote disability awareness within the College community, in line with our responsibilities under the Equality Act. We view our campus community as one where the care for each other is conducive to the academic achievement of our students. We provide support to all students irrespective of whether they have declared a disability, and will be addressing identified barriers to the full integration of disabled students within College.

Senior Educational Support Officer, Alexandra Stanton, says that around 9% of the Royal Holloway student body have a disability or Specific Learning Difficulty and confirms all are here on academic merit. A number of disabled students are among our most successful alumni, such as Helene Raynsford and Sophie Christiansen.

A major part of the project has been the development of a short film. It features Royal Holloway students describing different aspects of disability provision and about the physical and attitudinal barriers they face.

The film looks at both hidden and visible disabilities and seeks to increase inclusion of disabled students within the College community. The result is a very moving and thought provoking film. Look out for it being shown across campus soon.

If you have any questions or comments about disability support at Royal Holloway, you can contact the ESO by email at educational-support@rhul. ac.uk or call in and speak to them directly in FW 151.

Helen Groenendaal Community Liaison & Support Officer

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Women Bishops: A Liberal Anglican View Elizabeth Marshall

GENERAL Synod recently voted on legislation which would make it possible for women to be appointed bishops, albeit with limitations in order to accommodate those who do not believe in female priesthood. Despite such accommodations and compromises the proposals failed to pass by a narrow margin, and this failure has been widely criticised. Many of these critical voices come from within the Church of England, and mine is one of them. I’ve never felt ashamed to admit I am a Christian, but today I almost feel ashamed to call myself an Anglican. For the sake of the liberal majority –whose own views are now and often have been overshadowed by official actions – I’d like to

record some thoughts on this debate and on the crisis faced by the church.

Church doctrine comes from readings of the Bible, but the Biblical authors, and the Council of Nicaea which decided what religious writings should become part of a standardised Bible, were both products of patriarchal societies. The socio-historical context of the writing and collection of scripture was a world of oppressed and subjugated women. Since – as any good historian will know – all writing is influenced by the personal beliefs of the author and the social climate in which they write, this undeniably shaped what we read in the Bible today.

This is particularly true with regards to books such as Philippians or Timothy, which are collections of letters written by early

Christians espousing their personal views on the church and society. The doctrine of male priests therefore arose out of a very specific social context; one in which men held power and women were silent.

Jesus, however, was far ahead of His time with regard to His treatment of women. Throughout the Gospel stories we can see how important women were to Jesus’ ministry. During the crucifixion the women displayed more loyalty than Peter who had denied knowing Him several times, and during the resurrection He appeared first to the women who showed more faith than Thomas who doubted Him. It was a woman who despite the disciples being present anointed Jesus with nard prior to his crucifixion, and whilst the disciples

did not understand the action Jesus celebrated the woman’s behaviour and specifically remembered her for posterity. The actions of Jesus who is God, rather than the words of fallible human beings attempting to record divine revelation, should surely be more important in guiding Christian behaviour. Even the fallible Gospel-writers gave women names and voices, which in this historical context was simply unheard of. We should, then, be allowing women to take important roles within the church, including both priests and bishops. Christians attempt to do what God teaches and desires. If a woman feels a vocation or calling from God to become a priest, surely He wants her to be a priest, and this should be guiding our actions.

The introduction of female

bishops threatens to split the Church of England between traditional conservatives and liberals. Yet the failure to introduce female bishops threatens to further alienate the church from the general population; it will continue to be seen as an outdated and irrelevant institution.

The truth is that the church is already split, even if only informally. A significant majority of Anglicans are in favour of female priesthood and yet progress is held back by a conservative minority. There is no real discourse between the two camps, and compromises and accommodations only happen one way.

The Church of England today is a church in crisis.

I only hope that it is able to change and progress before disillusion sets in irrevocably.

into a hotel (again, without public permission) because politicians have no respect for the past of this country. To them, old Britain is nothing but a quirky, old-fashioned place desperately in need of change.

Certain ethnicities are nominally favoured over others.

We are divided into white people and minorities (how insulting to non-whites – they aren’t even properly labelled).

When discussing minorities, the abbreviation ‘BME’ is used – Black and Minority Ethnic groups. Why do black people deserve their own label while Chinese, Indians, Pakistanis are all thrown into ‘minority ethnic groups’? This is racism masquerading as multiculturalism.

I am nostalgic for the days when Whitehall was an austere, serious and honest place in which opposing

views were actually held by opposing parties. Westminster once brimmed with diverse opinions which actively opposed each other. Pre-1960s Britain no doubt had its own set of problems. But at the very least, it took itself seriously. Mr Cameron and Mr Miliband agree on almost everything – they both reek of left-wing hypocrisy. Whitehall was once a place for discussion and debate. So it must be again.

Allow me to share with you a poem from A.E. Houseman:

The Whitehall Antithesis Jordan Wilson BRITAIN is in a state of political decline.

The history of this country is being tossed aside by the allegedly conservative David Cameron and his despicable coalition. While our weakkneed prime minister is not busy with ad hominem attacks on the even more embarrassing Edward Miliband, he is privately agreeing with the opposition leader. While he is not too busy ranting about New Labour’s failure, he is continuing their deplorable work of abolishing any remnant of serious Britain.

It annoys me when people mechanically claim that ‘all politicians are the same’. It is usually a sign of disinterest or lack of knowledge. However, I think that in the case of Mr Cameron and Mr Miliband,

this cliché is certainly apt.

Both men espouse policies which stem from the 1960s social revolution in which liberalism moved the entire British political spectrum to the left. There is, in short, no more serious conservative party anymore. Regardless of whether conservatism is good, British politics was founded on opposition, adversarial views and debate. When there are only two parties which can form a government and these both agree on the serious issues, the stench of totalitarianism wafts our way.

An example is multiculturalism.

Cameron and Miliband both advocate a multicultural society.

Multiculturalism cannot usually be opposed in British politics – if one does so, they risk being branded a bigot and a racist by our obdurate and ignorant bourgeois PM

and his pretend opponent.

Multiculturalism does not equate in any way to an ethnically diverse society.

It divides those ethnicities and segregates them, rather than unifying them under traditional British values. If people wish to live in isolated societies, so be it. But when politicians support these divisions and subsequently abolish respectable Britain, without permission (Tony Blair did not even bother consulting British citizens as to whether they desired multiculturalism when he came to power in 1997), they are embarking on a journey of stupidity. During the Olympic bore, a hat with the design of the Union Flag was placed on the head of the statue of Nelson in Trafalgar Square in a vomit-inducing display of self-parody. Admiralty Arch is now going to be redeveloped

Into my heart an air that kills From yon far country blows: What are those blue remembered hills, What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content, I see it shining plain, The happy highways where I went And cannot come again.

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NHS pitfalls, and the campaign to correct them Rebecca Smith I AM just like you, except I have done over 6,205 injections and pricked my finger with a needle over 8,760 times in four years. I have been admitted to hospital twice in two years. Every single day is a battle with my degenerative disease: type 1 (T1) diabetes.

T1 diabetes is caused by an autoimmune disease, and not by diet, as is often the cause of type 2 (T2) diabetes, and is affected by everything from stress, to the weather. The long term effects of poor control include: blindness, loss of limbs, peripheral neuropathy, liver and kidney disease and death; the short term effects include hyper/hypoglycaemia (high/low blood sugars), unconsciousness, convulsions and coma. There are around 29,000 people in the UK

with type 1 diabetes. I am campaigning for better care because although the NHS is a brilliant thing - I would not be alive without it as I would certainly be unable to afford my care - the NHS is failing to provide even care across the UK to T1 diabetics.

Many T1s control their diabetes through four to five daily insulin injections. This is now proven, however, to be less effective in the treatment of diabetes and may result in more poorly controlled bloods than alternative methods, such as insulin pump therapy (continuous subcutaneous insulin infusion (CSII) therapy). This is firstly due to the fact that insulin pump therapy only uses a short acting insulin, whereas injections involve the use of short acting and long acting insulins. Long acting insulins are now proven to vary in

efficiency in a single person in any given day by as much as 55%, therefore causing great variability in day to day bloods and a predicament whereby the insulin-to-carbohydrate ratio that a diabetic needs to work out before eating cannot be done, which results in poor blood sugar levels which therefore subjects the patient to both long and short term effects.

CSII is additionally a better method of controlling T1 diabetes as it allows very small amounts of insulin to be delivered to the body, therefore allowing better glycaemic control. The pump also allows the facility to calculate (using known values) one’s insulinto-carbohydrate ratio so that maths is less of a chore before eating. Furthermore, it is considered by some to be less invasive, with the need for a needle only once every

Miss Representation Victoria Butcher BALLS seem a bit overlooked by mainstream media. They don’t frequent covers of magazines, nor do they get a whole page in a mainstream newspaper, dedicated to them.

Paparazzi don’t go out of their way to get a sneaky snap of them. Magazines talk about side-boob, but side-ball - oh no! Who cares about the side of a scrotal sack?! Walk down any high street and on most shop windows there will be lots of flashes of ladies baps, but alas, balls remain an uncouth specimen of the male anatomy. Two fleshy hanging bags. On paper, they don’t seem that different, but in reality, they couldn’t be further away from the booblike truth.

It is easy to dismiss the images that we are constantly bombarded with. Music videos featuring half-naked females dancing sexily around a fullydressed male counterpart, elderly men on the news next to their polished younger female co-anchors or, maybe, just a pair of bosoms with your morning news. Women may

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share the spotlight as much as men, but their place in it is much different.

Jennifer Siebel Newsom highlights exactly this in her heart-wrenching documentary “Miss Representation”.

Since it premiered at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival, Miss Representation has taken off: not just as a popular documentary but also as a social movement dedicated to changing the way women are perceived in the media. The film not only emphasises the severely derogatory attitudes towards successful women in high positions of power, but worse, highlights our own, unquestioning, observations of these dispositions. Women and men alike accept this warped reality where women are there to be scrutinised, objectified and, a lot of the time, ridiculed.

How can one not be insecure with the mounting pressures to conform to these social norms?

Newsom presents talks with teenagers, actors and politicians who attempt to explain the banes of this virtual world and what the impacts are on younger girls who are growing up in this

environment.

Of course, it is fundamentally down to a structural problem.

A lot has progressed with women’s rights, but what this documentary reveals is that women are still fighting to be taken seriously. The media is not only one-dimensional with gender but it is onedimensional when it comes to matters of intersectionality and fails to represent women from a multitude of backgrounds. Royal Holloway Feminism Society kick-started their Miss Representation campaign on the 16th November with a screening of this inspiring documentary.

On 29th November, we hosted a discussion with the Royal Holloway Afro-Caribbean Society and guardian journalist Reni Eddo-Lodge, on the representation of black women in the media, feminism and in the workplace.

We are encouraging as many people to get involved because the only way to tackle these issues is to spread awareness about them. Perhaps then, one day, there might be a time when a punter walking into my work won’t tell my boobs about his day. Just as I won’t be talking to his balls.

three days as opposed to 4-5 times per day. CSII treatment is, however, only offered to some patients regionally. I am campaigning to ensure that all T1 patients are, at the very least, offered to choose which treatment they receive.

Moreover, relatively new treatment aids that are supported in the USA by health insurance firms, called ‘continuous glucose monitors’ (CGMs) are not even available on the NHS. The NHS are making cuts and T1 diabetics are paying the price. For example there has been a reduction in the amount of glucose testing strips to fifty per month. That equates (using a lower usage limit) to 1.6 test strips per day: a T1 needs five for at a bare minimum to even consider controlling their blood sugar levels. I would love for CGMs to be available on the NHS, as they are

proven to improve glycaemic control, patient compliance, reduce hypoglycaemic fear and provide education of personal insulin and glucose trends.

They work by providing over 200 glucose readings a day, producing them in graphs by a sensor that sits in the interstitial fluid. The pitfall is that it has a five minute lag from actual blood glucose levels but it would alert a patient if their bloods were too high or low before complications could arise; particularly useful while sleeping – bloods often crash or rapidly increase in one’s sleep!

Please support my petition for better care: http://epetitions. direct.gov.uk/petitions/41620 Please like the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ campaignforpumpsandcgms

The Better of Two Imogen Tyreman ON THE 6th of November 2012, the lengthy and moneyconsuming campaign efforts of two men came to an end. The whole world knew about the US elections for they are probably the only ones that have such a significant impact on people outside of the country they take place in. The fate of the world hung between Obama and Romney, but whilst the majority of people one encountered were pro-Democrats, I was yet undecided. Of course, to pick between the two would be an easy choice. But I’d rather have neither and I’ll tell you why.

Obama gained power in 2008 eager to right the wrongs done by the Bush Administration.

In 2009 he even received the Nobel Peace Prize, becoming an example for others in the running of wars. However, this role was not taken seriously or else it was short lived. His counter-terrorism policy can in no way reach up to the pedestal we have put him on; he granted the military permission to kill anyone they decide is a threat without a trial. They do not have to have seen said person do anything, but if they suspect them to be forming unfriendly alliances, they are allowed to shoot and to murder. The victim, most likely an innocent civilian in the wrong place at the wrong time, will have no protection, no chance at justifying their actions.

Photo: Jack Gordon

They will be dead.

Furthermore, during his first term in office, Obama increased the use of drones in other countries. These unmanned aerial vehicles target anyone and everyone, and are responsible for the deaths of many innocents in the Middle East. This is not the president people fought to elect, not the president who Americans would have voted for even if only $100 were spent on his campaign. And this is not all he has done to harm the world.

Guantanamo Bay was opened

by Bush Administration in 2002 and is notorious for violations of human rights; it abuses article 3 of Geneva Convention which states that if persons no longer take an active part in war one cannot subject them to any violence or other degrading punishment and must care for them as they see fit. Many believe this does not apply to prisoners at Guantanamo, applying it only to uniformed soldiers or guerillas.

Obama made a promise to shut this monstrous place, and when he was elected that year, the inmates could be heard chanting his name. This time there was silence.

On the 22nd January 2009, Obama suspended Guantanamo Bay, promising to close it within the year, and on 15th December that year he looked to transfer detainees to the Thompson Correctional Center despite opposition blocking funds to do so. This plan did not go ahead and on the 7th January 2011

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On second thoughts...

Obama signed a bill restricting the transfer of detainees to the mainland or to other countries, thus preventing the closure he was allegedly still fighting for.

This man got re-elected.

These are just the issues close to home. Elsewhere, women’s rights are being threatened as the US seek to negotiate with the Taliban and while there are 157 countries in the UN who are trying to reach an arms trade treaty, Obama pulled out at the last minute, scared of supporting it in the run up to presidential elections.

Of course this could all change; it is hoped that in March 2013 he will support the Arms Trade Treaty as there are no threats to his power. Despite this there are still numerous issues he has not addressed, and though opposition does exist in the Senate, Zachary Katznelson, a senior ACLU attorney, believes that Obama has enough power to transfer men out of Guantanamo if he has the will to do so.

I believe during his second term in office Obama must prove himself. For this reason although I long for a president who would actively make a positive impact on human rights, I will give the current one the benefit of the doubt and work in encouraging people to show solidarity to the Democratic party in hope that the support of others will inspire them to make the right call on these issues.

I do have sex with my girlfriend Anonymous

FIRST off let me assure you I am by no means a promiscuous young man and I thoroughly understand the concerns of you and your girlfriend who have decided not to have sex. By no means do I think you are “wrong”; as long as you are both happy with your decision, it is perfectly fine.

However, let me try to help you understand one or two things from my point of view. My girlfriend and I do have consensual sex when we see each other, and instead of it being a “selfish act of love”, we find that “compassion, kindness and selflessness” are all more than possible during sex as well as outside the bedroom.

We do not feel crap afterwards either: for me, much of the pleasure I gain from sex is through giving my girlfriend pleasure. It is the feeling of mutually giving which truly makes sex enjoyable.

I, too, sometimes feel like I have journeyed from the 1940s: I am old-fashioned and like to court, take things slow and act like a gentleman.

That does not mean I have to be celibate though; I choose to have sex, but only with someone I trust, who I know for sure cares about me as much as I care about them and who I will be with long term.

Of course you will remember previous sexual experiences; they are part of who you are.

However, like bereavement, although you may be sad at first and be upset by the memories cropping up in your head, with time you will get over your former partner, move on and those memories will become happy ones.

The sad truth is (in the event you do break up with your girlfriend) your girlfriend in the future is likely to have had sex before, and I guarantee that you will feel jealous and upset about it in the knowledge that she has had intimate sexual relations with someone before she met you. This is just a fact of life.

In response to your worry about the memory of sex with your former girlfriend ruining your wedding night, I would say that you probably shouldn’t marry her if you are still not over your first love. With regards to your pregnancy concern, contraception is free and very effective, especially if you double up on two forms at the same time (the pill and condoms for example).

I think the worries you have are felt by more people than you think, and I also believe young people are pushed into a culture where they are too eager to dive into sexual encounters without considering the long-term emotional and physical implications. If you (and this is open to anyone) wish to respond to me, please feel free to do so.

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NEWS

Dec 2012

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ULU controversy:

Why people are making all the wrong arguments.

Sam Jones

UNIVERSITY of London Union has come under fire as Acting President and former SURHUL president Dan Cooper refused to attend a memorial service in which he would lay a wreath on behalf of ULU on remembrance day, sending a refusal to his invitation and then writing a blog about it.

This then provoked a mass of controversy in which most of the arguments condemning him have been emotive, illogical and pretty weak.

The only criticism I can find is that he dealt with the situation wrongly. He did send someone to the service

in his stead, the ULU was represented. Yet he didn’t vocalise this before giving his own account of his view and beliefs. It’s typical of student politicians; always thinking about the agenda and not the pragmatism of a situation. However nobody seems to have pulled this up. Instead it’s people questioning his moral choice and his political views. My views are not dissimilar, though my resolution to his dilemma would have been to lay a wreath of white poppies. I personally understand not wanting to stand with a load of hypocritical political and military leaders using remembrance as a political football.

Unfortunately Dan has fallen to the same mistake, just on the other

side of the fence.

Irwin, the teacher in The History Boys reflects my view of these apolitical services nowadays: ‘We don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died. And all the mourning’s veiled the truth.

It’s not “lest we forget”, it’s “lest we remember”. That’s what all this is about - the memorials, the Cenotaph, the two minutes’ silence.

Because there is no better way of forgetting something than by commemorating it.’

In a way the political benefit of attending such services to the establishment figures is more appealing than the idea of actually stopping and considering loss of life and more importantly why

A discussion of responsibility Paul Geerligs THE recent death of Savita Halappanavar is an unfortunate reminder of the cultural war between pro-life and prochoice advocates, both of which wish to influence government legislation for their respective causes. Whilst I do believe Ms Halappnavar had the right to an abortion, I do not derive this position from the notion of women’s rights, but from the expectation that humans must be responsible over themselves and to take accountability for their own actions.

This expectation implies that we understand every action we perform carries a certain degree of risk. For example, to have sex always carries certain risks such as pregnancy and

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sexually transmitted diseases.

Precaution may significantly decrease the chances of such risks, but the risk remains nonetheless. Thus, on an overly simplified situation, if an adult woman becomes pregnant, then both she and her sexual partner must take responsibility for their actions.

This means becoming both a mother and a father. This is no different than someone developing diabetes after eating too many sweets. Ideally this diabetic would then take insulin and watch his or her glucose levels. However, in Ms Halappanavar’s case, although she wished to deliver, her life was in peril. Her duty to be responsible over herself takes precedence over her duty to have a child because, as an adult, it is her duty to be responsible over her

own survival. The hospital therefore violated her right as an individual human.

This view of responsibility, though, does not fit into the prochoice and pro-life arguments because, at one extreme, women are said to have the full right over their body and it is their decision alone. On the other extreme, abortion should be illegal because it is immoral. Unfortunately, both views are detrimental not only to women, but also to men because whilst a woman should have the right to an abortion (for to have responsibility is to not have a state intervening in personal affairs), it is not her decision alone as the action still involves a man. To make it solely her decision leaves an inequality between men and women because this lessens the man’s responsibility. However,

there was loss of life, and still is.

This I feel is reflective of what Dan wanted to get across, but handled badly.

I would also quash the idea that just because he is president he should have to compromise his views, he was elected on a socialist manifesto, he’s quite obvious in his politics, but when it comes to a hegemonic event such as remembrance day, anyone who criticises it simply becomes a target to be vilified. It’s unfortunate that the whole incident, coupled with another young person having burnt a poppy, is giving young people a name of those who do not respect the sacrifice of those who laid down their lives so we could be free,

as with Ms Halappanavar’s case, there are different degrees of responsibility. It would be harsh to suggest that two struggling 19-yearold students must have a child because as newly attained adults, they are now setting up a lifelong foundation to be independent adults. Due to their age, it can be expected that they will create naïve mistakes. However, to suggest a rape victim needs to give birth is equally troublesome because the result of the injustice results in the woman being pregnant, not the rapist. The outcome of his actions though should then be legal penalties, and the woman should have the option to terminate pregnancy.

But if a successful 36-year-old woman wants to elect for an abortion without any justified reason except that she does

so we could have choice and free speech. We all respect that, any intelligent or sensitive person does.

However, it’s easier for us as great grandchildren and as people who are expanding our minds at the ages between 18-25, to look at the other side, to see through the hegemony, while still respecting those who came before.

So before you sign petitions to remove Dan from office, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons, not emotive, poorly founded ones saturated in hegemonic ideals. Make sure it’s pragmatic, related to the shortcomings of his methods in dealing with the issue, not his stance on the issue itself.

not want a child, then the judgement should be different.

As an adult, she should know first-hand what her actions may cause. She may have the legal right to an abortion, but it does not mean she should still elect to have one because doing so would shirk responsibility.

Similarly, this is no different than a diabetic who refuses to watch glucose levels. Ideally he would watch his health, but he is not required by law to do so. Our current healthobsessed society, however, may shun his behaviour. So whilst government should not interfere in the personal lives of people (and protect their rights instead), society should shun behaviour that relinquishes people of their responsibilities.

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Why we need to take away a platform for fascists Jamie S Green VP Communications & Campaigns IN THE last General Meeting a motion was passed to ban those who are overtly fascist from all Students’ Union property or meetings as well as stopping SU officers from sharing a platform with fascists at an event. Since then there has been much confusion about what this means and why it is important, so I have set out to clarify why we must have it, particularly in the interest of student safety.

Whether we like it or not, fascism is on the rise. The BNP have seats in European Parliament and the EDL are now running candidates in elections under the umbrella of their ‘British Freedom Party’. Far-right parties have seen growth in France, the Netherlands and particularly in Greece. This is a worrying thing and is leading to a dangerous growth of Islamophobia especially in the Netherlands where Party for Freedom (who were formerly part of a coalition government) leader Geert Wilders uses his platform to spread hate and create fallacies about Islam. We need to make sure universities are a haven from these groups, particularly for

people who want to practise a faith or are from a particular cultural background.

The recently passed policy essentially means that those with an overt affiliation to an organisation like the BNP or EDL cannot use any of our platforms to spread racism, homophobia or general intolerance. Indeed everyone has freedom of speech, but that freedom of speech should not be used to impinge on the rights of others to live without the threat of being verbally or physically attacked on the grounds of race, religion, culture, sexuality, gender etc. SUs have a duty of care to its members and it would be irresponsible for them to allow these groups a position to emotionally harm our members, like Nick Griffin recently did in a Leeds SU publication. Not only this, but fascist groups often bring with them a physical threat.

For example, EDL marches are synonymous with mindless violence – a video put on their website by hackers recently showed this.

To those who suggest we should invite them and ‘allow them to make a fool out of themselves’ I cannot help but feel your priorities are in the wrong place. Should we

really allow fascist groups on our campus and accept the potential threat of verbal and physical attacks, in the hope their grotesque views are condemned? A no platform policy does not equate to pushing fascism underground; we can easily campaign against fascism without them coming to our campus. We can get the facts, write articles, organise campus wide campaigns to raise awareness and go to counter demos without having them present for debate. I would never advocate ignoring fascism and this is why I am proud that we are even having this debate as a Students’ Union. To those who may suggest that no platform is fascist in itself, I personally do not believe it is fascist to want to protect students from an abuse of freedom of speech.

In terms of student media, I think it is simply not the place to be entertaining fascists. In the aforementioned Leeds article Nick Griffin accuses gay people of wanting to ‘discriminate against hetrosexuals’ and called two men kissing ‘creepy’ – for a young gay fresher, I would imagine reading an article like that from your own student newspaper would be disconcerting. That said, the democracy of student media

Photo: Gavin Lynn (flickr)

should be respected and the motion does not currently cover them.

Overall, I think students and young people have a unique power to make a difference in the world. I believe we can overthrow fascism because

Should prostitution be legalised?

Dahab Aglan PROSTITUTION has long been one of the most controversial issues in societies due to not only health issues, but also due to economic and political agendas. Needless to say, proponents of prostitution tend to mainly raise the banner of ‘freedom’ while opponents are more inclined to the ‘moral’ arena. Let’s see what each group has to say!

Before we delve into what each group proposes, what exactly defines prostitution?

According to Cambridge Dictionaries Online, a prostitute is ‘a person who has sex with someone for money’.

To start with, proponents of

prostitution say that it lowers the rate of rape by making sex accessible to potential customers. Furthermore, they say prostitution lowers the rate of unemployment by making prostitutes and consequently, pimps, registered workers in the economy. Besides, they reason that since pimps and prostitutes will be officially registered in the economy, they are subject to an extent of taxation, thus further nourishing the economy by providing revenues to the government. Some believe that prostitution reflects a woman’s freedom to choose her career and give her say in society. Additionally, they believe prostitution is a major

source of living as a form of service in exchange for money.

At a push, proponents also say that prostitution helps stabilize relationships and marriages by justifying the fact that it is a ‘purely physical transaction’ rather than ‘emotional cheating’.

I cannot deny that the proponents of prostitution have certain points that do have justifications. However, we should not also neglect the other side to the story. Although it is possible that prostitution lowers the rate of rape, does that justify that prostitution is the only solution to the rape dilemma? Are there not other productive alternatives such as enhancing the education

level and raising awareness campaigns? Furthermore, to those who say that prostitution contributes to the economy, as an Economics student myself, I do not really think prostitution is the only way to increase a country’s GDP level.

How about investing in better technology and education with a higher yield of investment?

Describing prostitution as an exchange is rather inadequate because an exchange typically involves commodities such as food, books, or cigarettes.

Hence, comparing a very precious and gifted living being like a woman to a pack of cigarettes is not very rational or fair, is it? Yes a woman has a right to choose her career,

we have the better ideas and should continue to spread them. However, we need to, with one clear voice, say no to all forms of fascism and not give them space on our platforms to spread hate and lies and infringe on the safety of others.

but are humans always right in their decision to become commodities exchanged by monetary value? Regarding the claim that prostitution helps maintain emotional relationships, excuse me but this is a bit overrated because if you truly love your partner, you will understand the reasoning.

In conclusion, the prostitution controversy continues to involve different perspectives that I strongly respect. I am only examining the ‘industry’ from my research perspective, and I am not in anyway demeaning any individual working in the prostitution industry because it is between ‘you’ and your ‘government’ after all.

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The Orbital Dec 2012

What do Fifty Shades To wolf whistle and Sherlock Holmes or not to wolf whistle? have in common?

Young Kuk Noh IF YOU’RE anything like me, you will be one of the people to not have read Fifty Shades of Grey. I’ve heard that it is a load of crap that was farted out by some person obsessed with vampires and other delusions.

My own opinions aside, I am assuming you have heard all the hype surrounding it, right?

Fifty Shades Of Grey is the best-selling novel of all time - surpassing the record set

by Harry Potter. The novel itself is said to be full of blunt euphemisms and explicit scenes that as a reader, we are (apparently) expected to visualise. At the end of the day, it is porn. Well, not really porn, but erotica. No matter which way you see it - be it porn, or just a quiet fling now and again - nobody can question the fact that Fifty Shades has been a major success.

Did you know the author, E. L James, had written the same story under the pseudonym of ‘Snowqueen Icedragon’? Yes. Snowqueen Icedragon. And the character’s names sound oddly familiar. You might have heard of them somewhere before.

Bella? Edward? Ring any bells?

Surprisingly, the best-selling novel, ever - the book that sold faster than the Harry Potter books - is Twilight fan fiction.

What the actual F- ?!

There are many instances where fan fiction has occurred; the most well-known fan fiction however, has to be Sherlock Holmes fan fiction. When Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, ended the popular Sherlock Holmes series, it left people with a Holmes shaped void in our minds.

However, Doyle didn’t leave everyone with no hope of a new Holmes story. Doyle left in his wake a plethora of characters, tools and features which could be used.

In an attempt to fill the void that was created by Doyle, Sherlock Holmes fan fiction was born. Many Holmes fan fiction stories revolved around the world that was typed out

by Doyle. Not a lot of people will know of Sherlock Holmes fan fiction simply because it is not Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s writing. But, the author of the stories would have tried to word it so that it sounds and looks like something that was written

by Doyle himself. They had to think about how to write it; they had to be creative. However, despite the creativity, the most

standout feature that came about from fan fiction is that the author is simply channelling Doyle’s concepts and ideas through their own personal writing style.

Similarly, Stephanie Meyer has left us a boat load of characters and features. The dark scenarios and characters that Meyer introduced in her Twilight novels can be lifted off the page, with new stories being born from the world that Meyer created. The fact that the characters have developed so much in the course of the novels means that people can use these characters to create new stories. People do not have to be creative to develop a character.

They are already developed by someone else. The fact of the matter is that this is what E L James has done. The end result is Fifty Shades of Grey. You will see that it is positively James’ writing style but with the vibes and ideas that were set out by Meyer.

In the end it is all about the author’s interpretation and writing style. But you cannot deny that with the creation of Fifty Shades of Grey, you begin to question of what is considered ‘creative’ or even ‘fan fiction’.

Double Standards: The British Bill of Rights Imogen Tyreman You thought you were rid of them. People started to realise everyone has human rights and that racism is bad, so you thought they were gone forever.

But double standards are back and they are in the form of a British Bill of Rights. This bill is written by the people, for the people. Except that it’s not.

It focuses on British people within Britain and uses only their opinion when creating clauses. The Tories promised us they would bring it in so that we can justify taking away prisoner’s voting rights and taking criminals away from their families to deport them

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to their country of origin where they will most likely be subject to copious amounts of torture. Unfortunately for Cameron, this is the only thing Clegg has decided to stand his ground on, so it looks like we may be stuck in a diverse, free country for a while now.

How much did you know about this? I only found out recently and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to locate information about the bill. It’s quite similar to another bill in regards to human rights breaches; the Justice and Security Bill which aims to allow the government ‘to hide the truth and withhold justice from everyone in the UK’ and to hold secret hearings to

any situation which poses as a threat to national security.

I believe this counts as false advertising for a country which portrays itself as an advocate of human rights.

The Justice and Security Bill was debated in the House of Lords last month, whilst the Government intends to continue pushing for the British Bill of Rights. These motions cannot be allowed to pass in any way. People need to be made aware of what is happening in their own country, and be able to have the opportunity to stand against these things before it is too late.

Sharni Lockwood PICTURE this... it is a Saturday afternoon and I am walking home with my two young cousins. All is going well and both are still in one piece despite an incident with a stick in the park. A stick should not be used as a substitute for a Star Wars lightsaber. So we’re strolling home when a black BMW slows down, the window rolls down and a man (grinning creepily from ear to ear) lets out a wolf whistle. “Alright love?” he leers, leaning out of the window. Me? Alright? No, not really. Why do complete strangers think it is acceptable to react to women like this? My younger cousin then turned to me and said “I think wolf whistling at women is degrading.” He’s 10 years old! If a child thinks behaving this way is demeaning then how can a grown man not? My 13 year old cousin, in his awkward teenage years, even braved speaking and mumbled something along the lines of “That’s just rude.” I gave the wolf whistler in a question the best frown I could. His response? “You like it!” Actually... I don’t and what would make you think I do?!

I predict the response you would get from most wolf whistlers, or those women who actually enjoy it, would be that you should take it as a compliment.

However, to me a wolf whistle is quite blatantly a physical judgment that says you have the approval of the whistler. Like I care! I’m not a prudish person

and of course compliments are flattering but the wolf whistle is so primitive. It represents an attitude that says it is okay for women to be objects. Wolf whistlers are trying to force a reaction from females because they have low self esteem and thus are crying out for attention; they obviously enjoy living in a world where they can control how they make women feel. I cannot help but think that wolf whistlers are delusional. If I’m walking up Egham Hill and get wolf whistled do you think that I would then turn around and run after you with my Shakespeare anthology in tow and introduce myself? I don’t understand how anyone could think that I would give my precious time (which is always being consumed by looming essay deadlines!) to someone who communicates in such a vulgar and demeaning way.

Being with my two cousins on the afternoon in question I shrugged off the situation quite quickly but I did feel embarrassed and did second guess what I looked like.

Was I wearing something too revealing? I was wearing leggings, so no, not the most revealing of things. And even if I was wearing a pair of shorts or a short skirt, I don’t think it means I deserved to be leered at. Why should I be made to feel embarrassed or at fault for provoking the response?

The answer is I shouldn’t, and women alike, shouldn’t either.

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Christmas crossword T N H J K L O I U O K U W E

L W W W A E H G I E L S E S

N M L W A R C E E E A N R S

P T Y Y S L A K T C T O E X

R A E Y W E N E K E T W I R

E C S B N N D W G G H M N L

S E M I S T L E T O E A D T

E L W B B T E U I C E N E F

N M O Y L L O H N E L T E E

T R E E V F D H S R W T R W

S N Z E L E Y T E M K L O P

M Y S T E U Y N L F F D N X

B D E U E E Q U E D H G E Z

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Sudoku Fill in the grid so that the numbers 1 to 9 only appear once in 3x3 sector and only once on each line.

Easy

Hard

SANTA, SACK, SLEIGH, REINDEER, TREE, SNOWMAN, TINSEL, PRESENTS, HOLLY, ELVES, MISTLETOE, CANDLE, NEW YEAR

Simple crossword Across 1. Conjure up (memories) (5) 7. Fugitives (8) 8. Incarcerates (5) 10. Sky-jumped (10) 12. Brine (3,5) 14. Is the proprietor of (4) 16. Sacred vow (4) 17. Purple rock crystal (8) 20. Predominant (10) 23. Economised (5) 24. Piercing with dagger (8) 25. Talked (5)

Excruciating

Down 1. Savours (6) 2. Large seaweed variety (4) 3. Cougar (4) 4. Ultra manly (5) 5. Shipwrecked people (9) 6. Throwaway lines (6) 9. Lucifer (5) 11. Rancher (9) 13. Shady tree (3) 15. Astounds (5) 16. Woodwind musician (6) 18. Walk wearily (6) 19. Clutches (5) 21. Immerse (4) 22. Breathe sharply (4)

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From our archives...

We’ve been having a look through our archives, and it turns out that the Orbital is older than the entire of our current editorial board.

Founded in 1986 as the Egham Sun, we’ve changed between newspaper and magazine format a few times over the years.

Some things have noticably changed, like the price of entry and drinks at the Students’ Union. Some articles, however, have surprising similarities to recent events...

Here are our favourite finds from the filing cabinet.

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The Orbital

The Sabbatical Files

Dec 2012

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Doug German President I REALLY can’t believe there’s only one week left of term! The last few days after people have gone home are going to seem incredibly quiet...

The last few weeks have been characterised by the referendum, which saw a brilliant turnout of voters, despite some confusion about the voting period. In addition to playing a part in organising the referendum, I’ve been to an NSS Conference, discussing how best to reach students and improve our score next year, I attended my first Insanity Radio Board of Directors meeting, had a meeting with our Commercial Development Manager about how we can improve student input to the Summer Ball, and I

Ian Stewart VP Student Activities IT’S been a while since my last column; I came down with tonsillitis so was unable to write it last time, but regular readers were treated to one of my campaign pictures instead — you were treated!

I’ve fitted in all the regular meetings, but also sat on the Passport steering group, Boiler House working group, Chaplaincy meeting, and countless development meetings with club and society committees.

As well as that, I’ve hosted two Community Sports Days, University Challenge trials, team / society photos, drove to a Gurdwara, spoke at the Open Day, attended

had a meeting around the Leadership Campaign which will (hopefully) shortly be coming to fruition.

There have also been a host of different student meetings, from Scrutiny and Accountability, I&R Senate, International Students SubCommittee, Democracy and Participation Board, and of course a General Meeting.

There was also a meeting around how to improve General Meetings which I hope will make the last one of term a joy to attend.

I’ve been doing a lot of work around the General Manager’s appraisal alongside one of our External Trustees, and I’ve done a lot of disciplinaries.

Last week I attended the NUS National Demo and the College Council away days. The latter I found to be really useful: there was a lot of discussion about the future direction and strategy for the college, and it was really excellent to see people listening to student views. the Surrey Poppy launch and dinners with Sophie Christensen and Sir Steve Redgrave... it’s not all bad being a Sabb!

However, it’s not all been good news. Bad weather has meant that lots of training and games have been cancelled, causing a fixture backlog; Bears Day was completely ruined with almost half the fixtures called off. Even so, it seems that even the weather can’t dampen Royal Holloway’s spirit, as participation in clubs and societies has reached all new highs.

Despite all the good things so far, some of the best are just around the corner. As I write this, Student Activities are putting together the annual NAKED calendar, on sale soon at the SU reception, featuring some of your favourite sports clubs and societies, with the profits going to RAG.

Jamie S Green

VP Communications & Campaigns I’M writing this from my sickbed, as I’ve had to take a few days off because I’ve had a pretty bad case of tonsillitis. Sadly this has not only entailed me missing the academic board (the highest educational decision making board at RHUL) but it’s also meant me missing out on meeting Sir Steve Redgrave at his honorary degree ceremony. However, there have been quite a lot of going ons in the last few weeks nevertheless.

Firstly, I have to talk about the demo. We took about 65 students on our lovely double decker bus, then met up with about 15-20 other students, lecturers and alumni, meaning that we had a pretty good turnout.

The demo itself, admittedly, could have been better — there were 10,000 students overall, but the main problems lay within

Kenny Aruwa VP Education & Welfare I’VE been sitting on a lot of disciplinary meetings lately – SU and halls related down this end, serious academic and serious non-academic offences up at College. I don’t like to dwell too much on discipline because it makes me sad, but PLEASE BEHAVE. In some cases you can be affecting the university experience of others, and in some cases you can be seriously jeopardising your own degrees. It’s just not worth it.

I’ve had so many meetings lately in general – some lasting over 3 hours and having agendas and documents totalling almost

the NUS — they chose an incoherent slogan to march on (Educate. Employ.

Empower) and the march ended in Kennington, which is ridiculously too far from the centres of UK democracy.

This was highlighted by the poor reception the NUS President got at the end of the rally. However, lots of new students got involved and the rally has given momentum to the student movement more nationally as well.

A week before this, I organised and chaired an event called “What is the future of Higher Education?” which included a speech from RHUL Principal Paul Layzell. It was a very informative event and gave an extensive background to what is actually going on beyond the tripling of fees.

In between, I’ve been working on our other campaigns and am looking to build the student worker campaign now that the demo is over.

I’m also doing work for Green Impact, which is an NUS award for sustainable Students’ Unions.

350 pages. That’s not even a joke.

Things are really coming together for SHAG Week and we have a lot planned for it. I’m not sure when this issue will reach you, but by the time it does hopefully we’ll be enjoying or will have enjoyed a great SHAG Week.

Here at the SU we’ve also been looking at how we can best encourage students to not rush into signing bad contracts for bad houses, and also to make sure we’re doing all we can to help students moving into private sector accommodation for the first time. We’ll be holding a housemate finding event during early December in Rialto, and an Accommodation Day on the 9 th January in the Windsor Building (1pm-3pm). Make sure you come along, and remember – there is no rush.

Keep calm and don’t sign!

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Simon says...

Do. Not. Sign.

Simon Rawlings Lifestyle Editor IN each issue I usually have 900 words or so to muse about my experiences and views of fashion on campus and beyond.

However, there’s one topic that couldn’t be of more importance for me to address.

Something so important that it needs even more attention than the issue of people wearing shorts and flip-flops around campus in the winter and profoundly disgusting real fur.

That topic is one that I can guarantee your flat / corridor friends will have started to discuss... and that’s finding a house for your second year of study at RHUL. (Yes, I’m talking to you, freshers!)

I dread to think how many of you have started online searches for houses in the area, or even how many have popped into the local estate agents. I sure know I’ve already had to dash in my room to hide my smalls before an alarming amount of house viewings...

There’s this sense of peer pressure that is doubled by an even greater sense of urgency to find a house with people that, in reality, you’ve known for less than four months. If choosing the right people to live with wasn’t enough pressure, you’ve

also got to choose the perfect house too.

Let me dispel a few ridiculous myths before I carry on: everyone does not put down a deposit on a house before the Christmas break, everyone on campus hasn’t decided who they want to live with, the best houses do not all go before January, and your friends won’t go ahead and put a deposit down for a property without you (well, not if they’re good friends they won’t!)

While I’m addressing the topic of housing myths let me confirm one for you. Once you sign your name and initial each page on the tenancy agreement, you’re bound by law to pay your share of the rent and bills for the number of months specified in the contract.

Furthermore, if the contract you sign is joint and severally liable you’re bound again by law to pay the whole amount of rent if your friends don’t.

Don’t forget, if your parents are your guarantors too, they’re second in line to pay your share or the whole amount of rent if you can’t cough up the cash. You might have been able to tell from my tone within this article that advising you to be extraordinarily careful about signing for a property is something that is important to

me, and there is a very good reason for this.

Take a long hard look at the photo that I carefully chose to complement this article. If you can’t hazard a guess at where it was taken then don’t worry; I’m going to relive in writing one of the most stressful times of my entire life. All in hope that it might at least prevent one member of RHUL from ending up in the situation I found myself in during 17 August – 1 September 2012.

To cut a long story short (and I mean long!) I arrived to pick up my keys this August for my house hoping that, as promised, it had been professionally cleaned and was ready for my housemates and I. This wasn’t the case; a family of mice had already occupied the kitchen, the upstairs bathroom ceiling had caved in, the beds were not only filthy but riddled with bugs and the front door had cracks in that were so big that they let water through.

I could list around 20 more problems with the property, but I simply don’t have a big enough word count, so I’ll say this instead... I’m sure you’ve all seen the television documentaries that show the dirtiest houses mankind could imagine. If you recall one of those houses, double the filthy

conditions and double it once more for luck, you might come close to the house I alone had paid over £1000 in deposits, administration fees and rent to live in.

So what happened? I (and my other housemates) got away lightly following two weeks of infinite complaints, homelessness and a sit-in protest at the estate agents I can’t name for legal reasons.

We were all released from the tenancy agreement. Great news you might think, however, it meant that around three weeks before term I was technically (as I described myself at the time) “homeless in Egham”.

For two weeks I searched for a spare room in the area that I could afford and was habitable.

I went on almost 15 viewings in that short space of time and I have to say, if it wasn’t for the utter grace and kindness of my closest friend (that’s you, Rebecca Goldie) who let me store half my life packed up in boxes in her room, well, I doubt I’d have kept my sanity.

At this present moment I’m writing this article from my safe, clean and beautiful bedroom in a perfect house with three perfect housemates.

The giggling of the two beautiful girls I now live with is reminding me that I got off

lightly as I’m living so close to campus with people whom I am becoming so close to. By a huge spot of luck I was contacted by a friend (one of my new housemates) informing me that one of her housemates had left RHUL and in turn a room and house that was everything I had hoped for.

If I managed to find all this three weeks before the start of term then I am most certainly sure that if you hold off until after January to sign for a house you won’t be left without anywhere to live. Please, please, please, think so carefully about your decision because once pen has hit paper, you might not be so lucky.

It’s possible you may be bound to a house that I wouldn’t let my dog (Princess Poppy) live in for 12 seconds, let alone 12 months.

But don’t just take my word for it, look at the next page and take a read of the other housing tips and information I’ve gathered to help you all make what is a serious decision.

There’s an introduction to U Let, the Students’ Union’s own letting agency (it’s a no brainer when it comes to deciding where to go house hunting first) and all the technical jargon is explained too!

I almost forgot, Merry Christmas!

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Model of the Month

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Who do you really want to live with?

The model:

Michaella Kossakowski, a second year English and Drama student here at Royal Holloway can only be described as simply beautiful.

Her immaculate complexion and powerful glance will without doubt lead this lady into a career in modelling.

We have yet another issue where the model has raised the standard for the next model to grace our pages.

Through the lens:

As soon as I saw Michaella, I knew I wanted to take her pictures.

Her face was made for beauty shots and she was completely effortless and graceful in front of the lens.

We had lots of fun and a very talented makeup artist (Naomi Lake) on board who also did the hair for the shoot too.

I styled the shoot myself and had the headdress made by www.beauxoxo.com. Along with shooting for Model of the Month, we also took a different series of pictures where her ability shone to become a canvas and understand what emotions I wanted to evoke in both sets.

More pictures can be seen on www.gyangurung. blogspot.com.

Lisa Thomas KEEP Calm & Don’t Sign; this statement probably contradicts everything your second year friends and local agents are telling you so why do we keep saying it?

If you were to take a look around the local agents now you would see there are properties still available for THIS year. What does that tell you; there are more than plenty to go around. You will not be homeless!

It’s only a few months ago that new students moved away from home into halls with complete strangers in addition to starting their courses, sorting out their finances, getting to know campus, what to do at night etc. Local agents are now expecting, on top of all this, for you to have also decided what friends you will have in September 2013.

Not only that but also where you and those long standing friends (of potentially two month’s max) would like to live! It’s only November; we haven’t even finished the first term yet! My advice would be to spend between now and the New Year thinking about areas;

do you want to be near the back gate or the station, a particular pub, a supermarket etc . Then what kind of people you would like to live with or, perhaps even more importantly, those you wouldn’t. Do you mind smoking, do you like to go out a lot, do you like peace and quiet to study or do you need background noise, messy or a neat freak, vegetarian or meat eater, girls or boys or mixed the list is endless - you get the picture. As Tina Rainer, SURHUL Welfare Advisor says “Your best friend may not be the best person to share a house with if they enjoy partying until 4am most of the week and you need to get to bed by midnight to make it to your lectures by 9am. You also need to find people who will pay their share of the bills on time and who are as clean and tidy as you are or there are likely to be a lot of arguments” Rachael Pymm, RHUL Student Housing Officer says “Things can change over Christmas – give yourself and your potential housemates the space to be sure that this group and/or property are the right one”. Very good advice; Rachael also goes on to say “It’s simply not true that

all the properties go before Christmas! There are plenty of properties available in the area; some aren’t taken until as late as the summer” This is echoed by Helen Groenendaal RHUL Community Liaison & Support Officer “We strongly advise students not to rush into making decisions about who they wish to live with next year and certainly not to sign any contracts until term two or three. A significant proportion of issues that arise within private sector housing relate to housemates falling out over lifestyle differences so our advice is to make sure you really know the people you plan to live with before you sign.”

So against all odds you have found the perfect housemates and you know you all need to live within stumbling distance of a certain drinking establishment.

So why shouldn’t you sign, you’re ready to go right? Wrong; as Rachael Pymm says “Tenancy agreements are legally binding documents and are much easier to get into than out of ” - not many students realise this. If your group falls apart prior to September 2013 you

Tenancy terms...

The property The place you will be renting, including gardens, paths, fences and outbuildings, as well as shared or communal areas.

House in Multiple Occupation (HMO) Students are treated as independent persons even if they rent the property as a group. HMOs are required to meet certain minimum safety standards and some are required to get an HMO licence, ie those properties where 5 or more tenants are sharing a property in a building with 3 or more storeys (including a basement), even if one or more of those floors is occupied by shops or offices.

Licensee Someone who rents a part of a property and shares other parts of

will be responsible to find a replacement. Not only is this difficult and quite distressing but very often there may be administrative costs involved too. Now I have rather seamlessly got onto the subject of fees – why would you want to pay them? The agents in this area are charging in excess of £100 + VAT per student. This is only the administration fee there are also many hidden fees such as tenancy agreements, guarantor referencing, checkin fees, the list goes on. It does not take an Economics student to figure out that on a 5 bed house, collectively you could be handing over in excess of £600 for what you could get elsewhere for free. If that £600 is really burning a hole in your pockets then you could all buy the house an Xbox 360, TV and COD II or (if you are anything like me) shoes, bags, clothes – it would be far more

fun!

U Let and the Student Housing Bureau will be releasing their properties for 2013/14 on the 9th January so if you register now with them you will be the first to receive the details. Remember neither charges any student fees! www. ulet.org.uk or at the Facebook page www.facebook.com/ uletsurhul www.housesearch. rhul.ac.uk One last word from Tina Rainer “Before you commit yourself to anything, come to the Housing Day event in Windsor Building on 9th January, 1-3pm. You can speak to advisers from University of London Housing Services, Student Housing Bureau, U Let, RHUL Support & Advisory Services, Runnymede Council, Surrey Police and SU Advice & Support Centre. We’ll also hope to have free food and drink on offer for all those who attend.”

FOR DUMMIES

that property with the landlord.

Guarantor Someone (usually a parent) who agrees to pay rent and other charges associated with the property in the event that the tenant fails to do so.

This person will most likely need to be a UK resident in full-time employment.

Tenancy agreement This is a type of contract, ie a promise that you make to rent the property for a set amount of time or “term”, for a certain amount of money every month, and to follow the rules contained within it, which are more commonly referred to as “terms” or “clauses”.

Please be aware that once you sign it, it will be very difficult for you to get out of, so you must be sure that you are prepared

by Tina Rainer

to take on this responsibility.

Furthermore, you should be given the opportunity to take away the tenancy agreement, read it in your own time and get advice about anything you don’t understand or you think is unfair. The Students’ Union Advice & Support Centre would be happy to help you with this.

Assured shorthold tenancy (AST) If you rent a property that you don’t share any parts with your landlord and pay rent totalling £100,000 per year or less, you will have an AST. Bare contractual tenancy if you rent a property with rent totalling more than £100,000 per year, or if your landlord lives in another part of the building, you are likely to have a Bare contractual

tenancy.

Licensee agreement If you live in your landlord’s home and share facilities, you are likely to be a licensee or lodger and have a licensee agreement. You have fewer rights in law than you would if you were a tenant.

Joint tenancy With this type of tenancy it is usually the whole property that is being rented by a group of people, whose names all appear on the same tenancy agreement along with the total amount of rent for the entire property. This group have exclusive possession of the property so the landlord is required to give a minimum of 24 hours’ notice before any visits and cannot enter without the tenants’ permission.

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The Orbital

NEWS

Dec 2012

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Ethical Christmas gifts Sarah Hawkins CHRISTMAS is coming, the goose is getting fat… and it’s about time we got round to doing our Christmas shopping.

I don’t know about you, but I detest Christmas shopping.

The stressful job of deciding what to get everyone, the disgustingly long queues… not to mention the worrying amount of money you have to fork out for the grim task.

But do we ever stop to think about how ethical our gifts are? I’m guessing for most of us the answer is “no”. So often, the closest we get to thinking of the poor at Christmas time is listening to Band Aid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas.

Perhaps we even go so far as sending a Christmas box with Operation Christmas Child.

While these things are both great (I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of Bob Geldof?)

Christmas shopping is an ideal opportunity to really think about where the things we buy

COMMENT FEATURES LIFESTYLE ARTS

come from and the impact our money spending has on the globe.

So here are some tips for ethical shopping this festive season: Buy from Charity Shops.

We’re students. A fact that carries with it one rather sad fundamental truth — we’re broke. So doing our Christmas shopping from charity shops is not only more ethical, it is also a hell of alot cheaper than shopping in high street stores.

Oxfam’s online Christmas Gift Shop is packed full of excellent gifts, and even has a section dedicated to delicious, not to mention fair trade, stocking fillers. Plus, you also miss those nauseating queues by shopping online!

Up-cycle: Last year’s Christmas decorations always look less joyful when you get them out the box for another festive season. But instead of chucking them out for a brand-spanking-new set from John Lewis, why not have yourself a merry little afternoon repainting them,

and maybe adding some glitter for good measure? Homemade Christmas decorations always have a nicer and more homely feel to them I find…

Do your research: If you’re a big fan of hitting the town clad in hat scarf and gloves, a little bit of high street shopping is more than OK. Don’t forget, if we all of us only shopped in charity shops then there would be nothing left to donate to them in the first place!

Do some research on all of your favourite high street shops. A number of websites (such as www.ethicalconsumer. org and www.greenfinder. co.uk) provide ethical shopping guides, listing the most ethical companies on the high street.

Plus, a lot of reliable companies state how ethical their trade is on their websites.

So there you have it - three really easy ways to shop for Christmas in a way that really makes a difference. Enjoy the festive season, while also helping those who cannot help themselves!

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Jollof rice, chicken & plantain

This is a very common meal to eat in African and Caribbean cultures. It’s pretty simple to put together and we can guarantee that you’ll love it no matter where you’re from! Jollof rice is mainly found in west Africa and complimented nicely with some chicken (or fish) and fried plantain.

Patreese Erskine, ACS President

Chicken

• Olive or vegetable oil • Chicken • Seasoning (Allpurpose seasoning, paprika, curry

powder or mixed spices are recommended) • Garlic paste and a small onion (optional)

1. Preheat the oven to 180C for 10 minutes and place a baking tray in the middle with a little bit of oil.

2. Thoroughly clean the chicken portions (especially if you buy it from Tesco!)

3. Season the chicken in a bowl making sure it’s evenly coated.

4. Place the chicken on the baking tray and cook for 3545 minutes or until cooked.

5. Turn the chicken 2-3 times to make sure it is brown on either side and use a knife to check that the chicken is white inside and not raw, we don’t want that.

Fried plantain • Olive or vegetable oil • Ripe plantain (available from 1.

2.

3.

4.

Photo: Alice Harold

Heat a little oil in a frying pan.

Slice the plantain in diagonal slants or circles and fry.

Season with a bit of salt (don’t overdo it!)

Flip on either side until brown (like in the picture, don’t burn it!) serves

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Combat the cold with wooly wonders

college market on a Tuesday!)

• ½ tsp salt to season

cost

£9

Jollof rice • • • • • • • • •

Olive or vegetable oil 2 onions, sliced Tin of chopped tomatoes 1 red sweet pepper (roughly chopped) 1 scotch bonnet (or scotch bonnet sauce) Curry powder Paprika or all-purpose seasoning (optional) 2 tbsp tomato purée (optional) 4 cups of long-grain or basmati rice

1. Heat an ample amount of oil in a large pan and cook one of the onions over a gentle heat with the curry powder and any additional seasoning.

2. Place the canned tomatoes, red sweet pepper, onion, scotch bonnet and tomato purée in a blender until smooth and then add to the pan with the onions.

3. Cover and bring to the boil for 20–25 minutes.

4. Rinse the rice a few times to remove starch, and then add it to the tomato mixture.

5. Bring to the boil, and then reduce the heat to low.

Cover and simmer until the rice is cooked.

Photo: Jonathan Cohen

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Hobbycraft does the whole rainbow.

• A darning needle with an eye big enough to thread your wool through: for sewing up your ear warmer when you’ve finished the knitting part.

• Patience: unfortunately, learning to knit is something you have to persevere with. Once you get the hang of it though, time flies by, especially as knitting is portable, and a great procrastination from doing essays!

There are books out there that can teach you how to knit (that was how I learned), and you can find a myriad of these in Egham library.

However YouTube, as always, is your friend! For the ear warmer you will need to

learn how to: • Cast on (putting the wool onto the needles ready to start knitting) • The knit stitch (sometimes called the garter stitch, the stitch you’ll use to make the ear warmer) • Cast off (how to get the wool off the needles so that it doesn’t all unravel!)

To learn these, I’d recommend watching a few videos on Maria200411’s channel on YouTube, or simply searching the terms above.

When you’ve done that, you’re ready to make the ear warmer!

Start by casting on 20 stitches. Continue in knit stitch until the knitting is the same length as the circumference of your head (or the head you’re knitting for).

Cast off, then fold the

knitting in half. Sew up the two short edges together to make a big loop. Turn this inside out so that the sewn bit is on the inside, and there you have it! Your very own ear warmer!

Now you’ve finished your ear warmer, why not try some more? How about…

• A scarf? Just cast on 40 stitches, and knit until it’s the required length.

• A vintage-style knitted tie?

For this, cast on 15 stitches.

• A blanket? Cast on 40 stitches, and knit until you have a square. Cast off, then make more squares the same size, sew them all together, and enjoy!

More ideas? Check out www.ravelry.com. It’s free to join, and it has a wealth of free patterns to get you started!

Around the world in six issues...

1 - India: grilled chickenby tikka Rohan Agarwal

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Ruby Ellis SO, winter is here, and the cold snap is chomping at the bit.

What a great excuse to wear snazzy knitwear! And while you’re at it, why not make your own? In this article I’ll suggest a project: make a fetching ear warmer that will render friends envious, and your enemies even more so.

However beware, you may catch the knitting bug, and of course, your cat will need an ear warmer too, as will the TV…. (A good way to avoid spending a fortune on presents, as well as giving something hand made – brownie points!)

Disclaimer: you will need to learn the basics of knitting

first, which means watching some YouTube videos.

You will need: • A pair of knitting needles.

Go for a happy medium in terms of size — not too wide or too narrow. Charity shops and relatives often have a good stock .

• Wool: About 50 grams of chunky or double knitting (normal sized) should do.

To find out the amount and thickness, check the label.

It’s also a good idea to check the washing instructions on the label, unless you want your lovely clean ear warmer to be your pet hamster’s favourite headwear. Again, charity shops often stock some but for a good selection of colours Egham Essentials is a good starting place, or if you’re in Staines,

cost

£3

Few cuisines have had such a drastic and scintillating effect on the British palate like the Indian cuisine. Not only do my British flatmates know the names of more curries than me, who’s just migrated from India, but, also, they put me to shame by being able to more consume chilli (a bad contest after being drunk out of our heads).

Whether I am in Tesco whose chicken curry rolls are extremely popular or in the Founder’s dining hall where they have served curry, during the whole term of my residence here, I am never very far away from the food of my provenance. After conducting a small poll of which recipe I should offer, I have settled for *drum roll* Chicken Tikka.

Ingredients:

Instructions:

All of these ingredients can found in Tesco.

• 100 gms chicken • 1/2 cup curds • 1/4 tsp garam masala powder • 1 tsp coriander powder • 1/4 tsp pepper powder

• 2 tbsp chopped mint • 4 tbsp oil • 8 garlic cloves • 1 ginger • 6 green chillies • salt to taste

let it marinade for about 45 mins.

1. Wash the chicken and cut in to big (Optimum time is 1-1.5 hours) pieces.

5. Place in tray and grill in oven till 2. Grind together garlic, ginger and tender and brown, turning them green chillies. occasionally.

3. Beat the curd and mix all spices, 6. One can serve it with coriander/ herbs, salt and oil. Add the garlicmango chutney or with a salad of ginger-chilli paste to it. cabbage, capsicum and carrots.

4. Apply this mixture to the chicken and

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The Orbital Dec 2012

Winter wonderland Kenny Aruwa VP (Education & Welfare) IF YOU’RE like me, you may just love Christmas more than anything else.

It’s also very possible, however, that the amount of time you spend talking and fantasising about that warm fuzzy feeling that Christmas creates within you, is far greater than the time you spend actually experiencing that feeling.

I first went to Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland in December 2007. The ice rink was tiny, but people seemed to be making good use of it, and I appreciated the wooden huts selling mulled wine. Even more so, the statues of polar bears and penguins (I really like penguins). All in all, it wasn’t a waste of my time — I had no regrets in going.

The next time I visited, four years later in 2011, I honestly didn’t expect all that much, but I was completely wrong about almost everything. I expected small, but it was MASSIVE. I expected a few huts selling

mulled wine; there was one around every corner. I expected a semi-pathetic ice rink, but instead what I found was a rink that can only be described as (please forgive me for this, I’m getting overexcited) absolutely incredible — one of the biggest rinks I have ever seen, with ceilings made of fairy lights and a big Christmas tree in the centre.

There were so many new attractions, so many new rides and so much more to see.

Highlights include a Carousel Bar (an oversized, super-slow carousel with a bar in the middle), a full-size Zippo’s Circus tent and the Angels Christmas Market.

Now I’ll be honest with you… I’m not much of a funfair ride kind of guy, and the mulled wine was a bit too expensive for me. I didn’t even go ice skating because it was a bit too busy, and the circus was a bit too sold out. I really didn’t actually do much at all come to think of it, yet I absolutely loved it — in fact, I had one of the nicest evenings I can remember.

You may be sitting there and reading this with a furrowed brow wishing that I would stop contradicting myself, but I can honestly say that I did almost nothing and I loved it. I spent hours walking around with my friends, and I spent hours smiling. It was one of those increasingly rare occasions that I actually felt that warm fuzzy Christmas feeling. Everything was just right — the music, the smells, the general air of happiness, and that wonderful sense of “Christmas”.

I cherish the memory of Winter Wonderland last year, and I can’t wait to return this year (it opens at 5pm on November 23rd) — not least because they have a new attraction this year called the Ice Kingdom, filled with animal ice sculptures that look amazing!

I’m not promising that Winter Wonderland is where you’ll find that warm fuzzy feeling that you lost as a 9-year-old, but I will say with confidence that it’s not a bad place to start looking for it.

Photo: Garry Knight

Christmas markets

Photo: Garry Knight

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Rachel Ivens Features Editor I HAVE a confession to make.

I’m not the biggest fan of the Christmas season.

I hate the crowds, the incessant Cliff Richard, the family bickering and the cold. I do, however, make exceptions.

The food is one (throwing cinnamon and brandy in everything is an excellent idea); Christmas markets are another.

Christmas markets are nothing new — they came into being in the late Middle Ages, mainly in the Germanic European countries. Over time they spread around Europe and the world, quickly becoming popular in Britain until they were banned by Oliver Cromwell in the 17th century.

Though markets selling Christmas-themed goods slowly came back into vogue in Britain — especially during the Victorian era — the Christmas market as we see it today only properly picked up in the past

thirty years.

These days, you can see the influence of the Christkindelmarkt heritage in most Christmas markets with many continental traders travelling to Britain to set up stalls.

Of course, you do pay a premium for the novelty. I can’t speak for all Christmas markets, but the ones I’ve been to have often been too pricy for buying all your Christmas shopping. You can often find some really lovely gifts though, if you’re willing to spend a little more than you would normally.

There tend to be lots of food stalls as well, which for me of course results in spending too much money on fudge and gingerbread (and not regretting it one bit!) However, if the inevitable wafts of mulled wine and cranberries aren’t enough to tempt you, they’re worth going for the atmosphere alone. That and the beautiful children’s toys, making you wish you were six again.

So… what markets are there?

As a born and bred Londoner, I have a soft spot for the South Bank Christmas market. With its German style wooden chalets and a perfect bankside location, it’s great to stroll through spontaneously after a day out in London and potter through the immaculate stalls.

Lincoln holds the largest Christmas market in the UK with up to 250,000 visitors each year, live music, and fairground rides — all set on the cobbled streets of the medieval town centre.

For a step back in time, Portsmouth, Gloucester, Worcester and Truro are among the places offering Victorian themed Christmas markets.

Wherever you go, one word of advice: visit a market when it’s getting dark. The soft glow of Christmas lights and the smell of minced pies on a chilly evening will get even the most hardened Scrooge into the festive spirit!

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Editor’s letter Rebecca Hilsdon Arts Editor WELCOME to the last issue of term!

It’s been a really good year for us so far as we have successfully upgraded our section from being exclusively reviews to a full- blown arts section complete with interviews, news and the opportunity to showcase new work.

This issue is no different and is packed full of content.

Vicky Timms attempts to

persuade us to visit the opera and James Carrick describes the cultural implications for Catalan should it gain independence. Kirstie Ralph caught up with the Struts at The Barfly in Camden and Thomas MacDonald reviews Argo and Beasts of the Southern Wild.

As ever there is lots happening in London during the Christmas holidays. The Royal Albert Hall is running its annual Christmas Festival which features candlelit carol concerts, Handel’s Messiah

and Disney’s Fantasia live in concert. Tickets are quite expensive however, but if you have never been before it’s an experience in itself, especially at Christmas time.

The Royal Opera House have brushed off the old Christmas favourite The Nutcracker and have their very own Christmas concert too, which I would definitely recommend seeing as you are able to buy standing tickets for as little as £5.

There is also Slava’s Snowshow at the Royal

Festival Hall as well as an ice skating rink at everyone’s favourite fortress, the Tower of London!

Despite there being lots going on in the capital there is always something happening on campus too.

With the Drama Society performing two plays a term and the Shakespeare Society putting on another, you don’t have to trek all the way to London to see some theatre.

The Student Workshop have been putting on plays in our unique Boilerhouse, such as

The Picture of Dorian Grey, and Holloway’s very own improvised comedy troop the Holloway Players usually have a show a week which is free.

So for a cheap, hassle free trip to the theatre I’d suggest staying on campus during these cold, dark nights.

I hope you all have a great Christmas and new year.

As ever, if you’d like to write for us, drop me a line either by email at arts@theorbital. co.uk, on Facebook at “The Orbital Arts”, or on Twitter at @arts_orbital.

Opera Is it time you lost your opera virginity?

Photo: markhillary (flickr)

Victoria Timms OPE-RA. What stereotypes do these two innocent syllables conjure up?

Perhaps you have an image of posh elderly ladies and gentlemen dressing up in their Sunday finest to spend the evening listening to men and women warble on for several hours in a foreign language.

Opera is still surrounded by these stereotypes and yet it shouldn’t be; a view shared not only by myself but also by the English National Opera who are trying to lure young people to the opera with their “Undress the Opera” scheme.

Not only do first timers

get the best seats in the house for £25, they receive a synopsis of the opera beforehand, a talk with the director and cocktails with the cast afterwards. I feel that their scheme tackles several of the stereotypes that are associated with the opera.

First is the price. Yes, going to the opera can be expensive, and top price tickets for the Glyndebourne Festival can be as much as £250 for the best seats, whilst the Coliseum is a bit cheaper at £95 — however you can pay this much for Glastonbury.

Also, many productions tour the country. The Welsh National Opera regularly visits The Mayflower in Southampton, where tickets

cost a maximum of £40. Yes, these prices are expensive, but this is world-class music at its best and many people will pay more to see their favourite band or comedian.

It is the cost of going to the opera which I feel promotes the idea that the only people who go are the upper classes.

It is amusing to find that when booking tickets from the Royal Opera House website, the box to select your title contains the usual options; Mr, Mrs, Miss, Dr, as well as unique ones such as Chief, Dame, Earl, HRH the Duke of, King, Queen, HRH Sultan Shah, Rabbi, Sister and Viscount.

Understanding what is going on is another issue that

many people have, especially if the opera is in French, Italian or even Russian!

This is where the magic of technology comes in to help those who are only fluent in English; subtitles enable you to understand the lyrics, allowing you to sit back, relax and be entranced by the amazing music.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people describe opera as boring.

This is far from the truth.

With plots ranging from Shakespeare’s Othello to Julius Caesar’s relationship with Cleopatra and to the 2011 opera Anna Nicole Smith, which was based on the life of the playboy model who married an

octogenarian whilst in her twenties, there is something for everyone. In fact one of my favourite operas, Tchaikovsky’s Mazeppa has been described as a blood-thirsty tale of crazy love, abduction, political persecution, execution, and vengeful murder: far from boring!

With ENO’s “Undress the Opera” scheme combined with Odeon’s broadcasting of live productions, opera is beginning to spread to the masses. With gems such as Eugene Onegin, La Boheme and Rigoletto in their 2013 season and with tickets costing only £13, I expect to see many of you at the cinema come the New Year!

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o Music The Struts at The Barfly The Orbital

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An interview...

BEFORE the gig I was invited to the backstage area (upstairs!) to interview the band, where I was met by Luke, Adam, Gethin and Jed lounging on comfy sofas and tables filled with crisps, chocolate and beer.

I took a seat next to their manager, Joe, and was “invited to dinner”...

The Struts are a relatively new band on the scene, and are the most recent signing of Gary Barlow’s record company Future Records. I asked the band what it was like working with such a renowned industry professional, and how he has been involved in their music.

Luke (lead singer) said: “He’s a really cool guy, just like you’d expect. He definitely knows his music and has been so helpful.”

Adam (guitarist) added: “He’s like our dad... as weird as that sounds!” This caused the others to laugh and agree. I think they could sense my jealously, so I quickly moved on to less enviable territory!

When asked what “genre” they would describe their music under, after much discussion they settled on “glindie rock’n’roll”, a unique hybrid between glamorous, indie, rock’n’roll. Gethin added: “Oh and our front man looks like the love child of Michael Jackson and the Darkness’s lead singer, Justin Hawkins.” Look it up on Google and see what you think...

Luke explained how they are still in the early days of their careers, aged only 19 and 20, and having been

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signed for just eighteen months. Despite this they have already played in London before, including Oxford Street’s The 100 Club, as well as the Apollo and the Queen of Hoxton in Shoreditch.

Jed told me “We absolutely love playing London. Most people think there’s loads of musical snobbery here, but it’s the complete opposite.

“We get great feedback here and have a lot of London-based fans.”

I asked about their plans for the next year, and where they would see themselves going. Adam answered: “We just want to keep on doing what we’re doing, because it’s brilliant.” This was stressed by all four, who in fact live together.

Luke admitted to being the messiest, but the primary carer for their four new cats; Fontaine, Alife, Boris and Piggles.

For a band who wants to portray an edgy, rock’n’roll persona, they came across as big kids really!

This is what’s great about them: their considerable talent and success so far has not overshadowed their ability to have fun and enjoy producing and performing their music.

Adam ended the interview by telling me: “We try and take forward all the influences on us and take them in a new direction, to make a new exciting, contemporary kind of act.

“We’re going to keep aiming high and getting new fans. The fans are our main priority.”

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Kirstie Ralph

THE slightly bizarre interview set the precedent for the rest of the evening; the gig was laid back and a lot of fun!

The band obviously has a blast together, which shows in their fantastic chemistry on and off the stage. My evening with The Struts was easily my favourite small gig in London.

The Barfly in Camden Town is a great, intimate venue which specialises in featuring up and coming artists.

The warm up act was a band called Romance, who were pretty terrible. The lead singer was deliberately unbuttoning his v neck shirt to the young girls in the front row, yet was making awkward remarks about the 14+ classification of the gig...

His leather trousers, medallion and bandana did nothing to redeem him either. I imagine they were chosen by the venue rather than the band themselves.

Fortunately, this half an hour of anything but romance with the supporting band passed by pretty quickly with a bit of help from the bar.

The Struts were welcomed

by female backing singers, but without this luxury the lead guitarist and bassist indulged in the opportunity to sing “girlishly” and made a very good job of it.

The best part of the gig was Luke’s successful bid to get the audience to sing back to him. At one stage, the audience found themselves squatted and sat on the floor at his command. This caused much hilarity and resulted in an even more lively and engaged audience than there was before.

The band oozed charisma and cheekiness, which evidently led to the majority of the audience’s entertainment, and slight loss of dignity.

I believe The Struts have really captured a new kind of music, which appears to appeal to a wide range of people and music tastes. I would definitely recommend you find out more about them, and especially watch some of their covers on YouTube which include; Cheryl Cole’s Under the Sun and Gotye’s I Feel Better.

They have also recently announced that they will be supporting McFly on their upcoming tour.

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Book The Life and Opinions of the Tomcat Murr James Carrick DUE to a printing error, the autobiography of the selftaught, scholarly, literary cat Murr gets interspersed with a book about the moody, withdrawn composer Johannes Kreisler.

Not an obvious starting place for a novel, perhaps, but that’s why ETA Hoffman’s tome is so brilliant: it’s a completely unique and barmy work that deals with art and artistry

onto the stage by many existing fans, consisting of a surprisingly wide age demographic. I do think half of Derby (the band’s hometown) was there in the audience, though. I even ended up being introduced to Jed’s parents and grandparents which was a hilarious turn of events.

Watching a sixtysomething aged man sing and dance along to the song She Makes Me Feel Like was priceless, especially in the confines of a crowded, sweaty audience. The band were particular excited about this song and excitedly told the audience that it will be a big summer hit of next year.

The band were thoroughly entertaining, having the time of their lives for well over their allowed 45 minutes.

They sang their debut single I Just Know first, which has a ridiculously catchy introduction.

Luke’s lead vocals struck me as very similar to Jack White’s of The White Stripes in Icky Thump and a little like Freddy Mercury. So in essence, the vocals were fantastic.

On the single the echoed “I just know” are performed

COMMENT FEATURES LIFESTYLE ARTS

with a featherlight touch. It’s sometimes side- splittingly funny, sometimes artistically challenging and always an absolute pleasure to read.

Despite its complex and often uncompromising idea, the novel is effortlessly readable and very good fun.

Hoffman quite rightly knew that, when writing a novel through the perspective of a cat, seriousness is not the most important feature, and often in these portions the novel’s an unmitigated delight.

The portions dealing with Kreisler’s troubled artistic life don’t seem dourer; perhaps by its juxtaposition or perhaps simply through Hoffman’s undemanding prose this section is equally as enjoyable.

Artistic merit, self-worth, self-appreciation and the idea of genius all come under Hoffman’s microscope, though he’s too entertaining an author to let that undermine the literary pleasure.

ETA Hoffman’s great novel is comic, tragic, believable

Arts News

Jill

Catalan seperatists count cultural cost of union with Spain James Carrick THIS weekend, the autonomous Spanish region of Catalonia returned a hung result to the Catalan parliament, hanging the dream of independence in the balance.

However, despite the main protest being about the financial cost of being part of Spain, Catalans are keen to preserve the language and culture of Catalonia and feel that being part of the Spanish state is eroding a very important part of European culture.

Catalans speak a unique version of Spanish, and many feel strongly that Catalonia has other cultural assets that need to be independent from the Spanish state.

On the ground, pro-

independent Catalans are worried about the cultural cost of Sunday’s election result. University student Paula Gonzalez-Alsina said: “We don’t know how long Catalonia can preserve what is truly Catalan whilst being a part of Spain.

“Everything from our language to cultural institutions such as the National Art Gallery of Catalonia feels at risk as long as it is part of Spain; historically they have plundered us, financially they have plundered us... for so many years our language was illegal, it could only be spoken in secret.

“Despite its open use now, we feel it is threatened by a linguistic invasion of Castillian (traditional Spanish).”

Cultural independence is

and unbelievable all at once.

It might sound unappealing, but every page is a joy. The marriage of the two stories only adds to their individual artistic merits and makes something that, though predating postmodernism by at least a century, would look progressive today.

Whilst a complex study of the arts and of psyches, it is, above all, a light comic masterpiece, artistically fascinating and frankly bonkers. A work of genius, and a joy.

what the Catalans seek more than anything else — many feel they have their own distinct cultural identity, like the Basque and Galicean separatists elsewhere in Spain.

However, from another angle, trade unionist Jaume Ferrer said: “The cultural and ultimately political independence of Catalonia will preserve the diversity of Europe by making sure that a deeply historic culture is preserved for future generations rather than having the south west of Europe monopolised into a Castillian imperialist state.”

Whether or not Catalonia gets independence politically is less important to many Catalans — it is the culture that needs to be preserved, but so long as it is united with Spain, this preservation looks uncertain.

Nicholas Hyder PHILIP Larkin’s four collections cast a long shadow over twentieth century poetry, but little attention or love is given to his two novels, Jill and A Girl in Winter.

Whilst A Girl in Winter, though a good novel, is slightly cold and meandering, Jill is a bona fide masterpiece.

Capturing a time, a place and a set of characters to a tee, this tale of class, rivalry, artistic creation and love through Oxford during World War II is part Bildungsroman, part fantasy, part realist and all masterwork.

Published when Larkin was merely 24, it focuses on 1940s Oxford, where John Kemp, a Lancashire lad who gets to university, shares his room with the worldlier, richer and less considerate Christopher Warner.

Initially looking through Kemp’s naïve eyes at the selfconfident, privileged Warner, the novel shifts unexpectedly when, to impress Warner, Kemp invents a sister, Jill.

And this invention, and the impact her fully realised life (Larkin’s 20-page description

of Jill’s unreal life is a leftfield masterstroke) ends up having on Kemp and Warner’s real world, magically turns Kemp’s story from that of an uncertain undergraduate fitting in to that of a student, an author and a confused though passionate lover.

The novel becomes plausibly fantastical, and that’s Larkin’s genius.

As with his poetry, Larkin marries the mundane and everyday with something transcendent and glorious.

As the novel shifts from a tale about university to a tale about writing and finally a heightened romantic tale, Larkin never fails to convince. Kemp is a brilliant central figure and the slimy Warner perfectly realised.

Oxford goes from the alien to the quotidian to the fantastical over Larkin’s 200 pages, as brilliant a character as Kemp or Warner. Its central tale is as gripping as a thriller, but its themes of art, love and creativity give the novel its power.

It’s a book that stays with you long after its opaque final pages. This novel deserves not to be seen as juvenilia but as a masterpiece every bit on par with his later works.

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Film

Argo Thomas McDonald

TEN years ago Ben Affleck was Hollywood’s number one laughing stock.

He had chosen flop after flop whilst his friend, Matt Damon, had been making all the correct choices and becoming one of America’s most loved actor. It is amazing to think, therefore, that he is now one of the leading directors working in Hollywood today.

After superb films such as Gone Baby Gone and The Town, there has been a lot of hype for his latest offering Argo, with everyone wanting to see whether he can continue such an impressive vein of form. He has not disappointed.

Argo is the story of Tony Mendez (Affleck), a CIA operative who planned to help six Americans escape from Iran during the eighties, by pretending they are a Canadian film crew on a location hunt for their sci fi picture, Argo.

As unbelievable as the story sounds, it is completely based on truth, and for the most part sticks to the real events very carefully.

The opening scene is a triumph, a superb

representation of the power, brutality and aimlessly violent nature as the Americans escape to the Canadian Embassy pursued by the mob. Affleck’s direction is superb, showing the same flair for slow, drawn out tension seen in Gone Baby Gone. It is this opening scene which hooks the audience in, which puts us in the characters shoes, and which in many ways sets up the success of the film.

Affleck is good as the main character and carries the film along well, but is by no means superb and doesn’t detract from the acting of those around him.

John Goodman and Alan Arkin add a wonderful sense of humour as the two Hollywood types hired to make the fake film seem real, and Bryan Cranston is very good as Affleck’s boss back at the CIA. However, it’s the acting of the six hostages which really impresses most, trying to maintain a normal life within the Canadian embassy’s walls while always knowing they could be but moments from execution. Their fear is believable, and adds further to the tension that pervades through the film.

As it reaches its final act,

Music

Argo moves into somewhat predictable places, and it is here where the film starts to differ from the truth in a bid to raise tension. There is nothing wrong with Hollywood schmaltz when it is done well, and here it is done perfectly.

Argo is subtle, entertaining and in spite of its subject matter never falls too far into the political; the film comes first, the politics last. In many ways it ignores the actions of politicians and governments, and simply looks at the story of four or five people taking great risks to save people they have never met.

The CIA agent who flies to a country where Americans are being killed daily, the Canadian couple who house the six knowing if caught they will face certain death, etc etc.

This is a film about little people doing great acts of bravery, not about politics.

Affleck already feels like a master at the Hollywood film game, and is certainly up there with anyone else working in America today. Argo could well be up for Academy Awards come next year, and when it’s as exciting, entertaining and intelligent as this, it will fully deserve anything it gets.

A day in the life of a diehard “Twihard” Natasha Kaleeq TO earn the title of “Twihard”, you need to have read all the books and seen all the films.

Most importantly, you need to be camping out at the premieres just to catch a glimpse of the actors who bring the books alive!

I’m one of them and I’m proud of it because it’s an experience in itself. It was 1am when I arrived at Stratford’s Westfield for the Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere; In the freezing cold I interacted with fans trying my best to sleep, then at 7am I was given my wristband and allowed into the venue where the white carpet had been laid.

Counting down the seconds until 5:45pm when the “Twilight trio” arrived, screams erupted from the crowd as we struggled to get their attention, which proved extremely difficult. Although K-Stew completely skipped us, I was in the prime spot to grab Robert Pattinson’s autograph and two photographs with Taylor Lautner. Taylor is just like the laid back side of his character

and makes a first class effort to interact with his many fans; definitely the best out of the trio.

I absolutely loved the experience!

The premiere for Breaking Dawn Part 2, however, didn’t go quite as smoothly. Arriving at Leicester Square at 10pm the previous night, equipped with a sleeping bag, I managed to get more sleep this time round.

Excitedly waiting for the collection of my wristband, which were promised in the morning but didn’t appear, I started to get anxious; would I see them again?

I was grateful for the weather, but started to lose hope as the event was so badly organised that the area wasn’t even ready by 3pm with the premiere starting at 5.15pm.

When we were finally allowed into our sections there were already three people in front of me who had been camping out for 5 days! Nevertheless I managed to gain Lautner’s winning smile and another signature. Now the entire Twilight furore has come to an end ‘I guess things are going to be kind of boring now, aren’t they?’

“STARTING a band isn’t easy” are the wise words of lead singer Fred Macpherson.

He should know; he’s seen a few hard times in the past few years before settling in Spector.

Engaged with his previous projects, a dead-end was much anticipated.

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Supposedly, this is the reason why Spector’s debut album is, not surprisingly, called Enjoy It While It Lasts and tonight, as their final show of their UK tour, the record seems to have done its job.

Twenty Nothing opens the set list with an 80s tinge, with the audience exhilarated by Macpherson’s warm, yet out of breath tenor whilst violently

swaying onstage, hanging on the microphone stand as if he were holding on for his own life.

Grey Shirt and Tie sets a break from the energetic atmosphere and gives a nostalgic tone in its mellow reverb synths and electric drums.

What You Wanted and Celestine caused much hype.

The latter especially with its

catchy chorus and its selfconfessional opening line, “Celestine, my self esteem is at an all time low”, overcome by confident rigorous guitar riffs and rich vocals.

Chevy Thunder makes its own statement as the penultimate track: gritty, bold and emotionally touching in its own way.

Spector make their final

proclamation with Never Fade Away, a salutation to the much-loved fans, and a sign of definite return, or a form of self-reassurance or Macpherson?

It’s not been easy: the past, although distant, seems to be a minute haunting element in their songs, but it seems highly unlikely for Spector to vanish anytime soon.

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Beasts of the Southern Wild Photo: Fox Searchlight Pictures

Thomas McDonald BEASTS of the Southern Wild is the very impressive debut of director Benh Zeitlin who, on this evidence, has a very bright future.

At only thirty, the young New Yorker has already won awards at Cannes and Sundance for this touching story which he directed and co-wrote as well as also doing the films score, and if recent hype is to be believed he might even be in contention for Oscar nominations.

This widely-praised fantasy drama is about a young girl known simply as Hushpuppy, living in the “Bathtub” in southern Louisiana.

She uses fantasy and myth to understand and cope with the harsh realities of life around her, as her father and local community fight to remain in their flood-destroyed home.

Preying on a post-Katrina society, Zeitlin portrays societal fears through the eyes of a child, struggling not only with storms and floods, but also of the ill health and

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irascibility of her father, creating a coming of age story which never takes itself too seriously, and always maintains a sense of enjoyment.

Many will cite this as a film about politics, with the filmmaker’s views on global warming being presented in a certainly less than subtle way, and while it is true these themes certainly exist, at it’s heart is a simple story about a father and daughter fighting against the difficulties that surround them.

Their perseverance to

survive is the core of this film, and it’s ending is both touching and motivational as anything you are likely to see this year.

The reason the film is able to achieve this level of emotion is down to its central character.

Hushpuppy is enchanting, both loveable yet strong, showing a wisdom above her years yet always maintaining a childlike innocence. We fall in love with the character and are perfectly happy to follow as the camera stands glued to her shoulder for all of the film’s running time.

The writing is, of course, an important part of this, but plaudits must go to Quvenzhane Wallis, the ten-year-old actress who brings Hushpuppy so beautifully to life. Dwight Henry, who plays her dad, is as equally impressive, and their relationship on screen as father and daughter is as believable as it comes.

If the prospect of a beautiful, touching, gripping film is not enough to entice you to the cinema, then the performances alone make this a film worth seeing.

The Mystery of Charles Dickens Imogen Tyreman

Spector Sara Hussein

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AT times I yearn to be able to walk through Victorian London, and as I walk along the Strand or around Covent Garden my mind replaces the humming of engines with the hooves of horses trotting through the streets.

It swaps in tourist shops for grocery stalls and florists, and transforms high street fashion before my eyes. I was in this mood as I walked to the Playhouse theatre on Saturday 10 November to watch Simon Callow perform The Mystery of Charles Dickens.

When I left, however, I found

I no longer needed my mind to change the scenery; I was already there, in the middle of Dickens’ London. As I walked back to Waterloo I took no heed of bright modern lights defining the skyline, for there were none in the world I was in; such was the power of the performance.

When I bought myself a ticket to see The Mystery of Charles Dickens I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I knew Simon Callow was a brilliant actor having been impressed by him when he brought Dr Marigold and Mr Chops near to my home town, but I did not know much about the nature of the show; was it merely a run-through of

the many Dickens’ characters?

I was still wondering about the nature of the show while I waited in my seat, surrounded by the beautiful interior of the Playhouse Theatre. The lights illuminated the stage and Callow was sat on an old chair, the intimacy of the evening becoming clear in those few seconds.

From that moment on I was hooked as he took us on a journey through Dickens’ life, weaving in the characters that the author had created so one could truly see the significance of each creation.

The audience discovered how each one from Copperfield to Scrooge to Pickwick related to

Dickens’ life or to someone he close to him. I had never been so aware of all that happened during his life to influence his writing, nor so captivated by anyone’s story. I felt, as all great actors make you feel, like Callow was speaking only to me, and I sat on the edge of my seat not holding back emotions in the slightest.

Though I have portrayed it as a biography, one can’t help but draw parallels between the two men, and it amused me that as Callow began painting the picture of Dickens as the skilled actor he was (for his shows in which he would act his stories were always sell outs), he too began acting as Dickens

would have, doing perfectly what he was praising Dickens for, and through that section of the performance I could have believed it was really Charles Dickens in front of me. His final characterisation of Bill and Nancy chilled me to the bone.

I cannot stress how wonderful and magical the evening was; Callow possesses a certain characteristic that allows him to grab hold of your imagination and shape it into anything.

Although The Mystery of Charles Dickens has finished, Simon Callow will be performing in A Christmas Carol in the Arts Theatre and I highly recommend anyone and everyone to go.

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Amnesty International’s Student Conference 2012 Hannah Russell

LAST year, I attended Amnesty International’s student conference for the first time, and I was absolutely blown away.

Not only was it a weekend of exciting plenaries, workshops, activism training and petition gathering on the streets of North London, but I understood the power of university groups in the human rights movement. The 250 students that attended last year were kind enough to elect me to the Student Action Network Committee, which meant that I and five other students organised and ran student activities throughout the year among other responsibilities, but it also meant that I had the honour of helping to run Student Conference 2012, that ran from 16 - 18 November.

We kicked off conference with a talk on the role of the media in the Middle East, where we were lucky enough to hear from Paul Conroy, war photographer for the Times. His account of his time with Marie Colvin, the Times reporter who lost her life in the shelling of Homs

in February, detailed how they crawled through storm drains, were stuffed into the backs of vans and lorries and literally dodged bullets to get into the centre of Homs to report to the rest of the world the atrocities that were being committed by Assad’s troops.

He paid a moving tribute to all the Syrian freedom fighters who had risked, and in many cases lost their lives in helping Marie and himself in and out of Homs, and for their unrelenting perseverance for liberation.

The Saturday morning was definitely the highlight of the conference for me, as we were joined by Jenni Williams, who founded Women Of Zimbabwe Arise in 2003, a civil rights movement which has swelled to over 75,000 members.

Jenni herself has been described as “the thorn in Robert Mugabe’s side”, and at the age of 50, she has been arrested and brutally beaten

by Zimbabwean police over 40 times. As soon as she appeared on stage every student was on their feet, whooping and clapping and whistling. You could never tell from the way she acts that she is a persecuted person

and that she has had to move from safehouse to safehouse every 6 months for 10 years to avoid government thugs.

She laughed and joked about her life on the run, spoke seriously about the fact that her family have all had to leave Zimbabwe for their safety, and left the audience awestruck by her incredible bravery. Before she left London to resume her fight in Zimbabwe, she had one last piece of wisdom to share with students: “Spend some time every day defending your human rights while you have them. Enjoy them to the full. Don’t wait until your

rights are taken away to start standing up for them!”

The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of marches, demonstrations and talks.

Particularly inspiring was the 300-strong procession through Shoreditch for women in Afghanistan, who are cruelly being denied the most basic of human rights and crucially being excluded from the political process in Afghanistan.

The students that attend really make the weekend what it is. We share a common belief. We saw that same belief burning in every single person who took to

the stage and recognised it in each other when we got into the same room.

After three incredible, inspiring days the students go back to their campuses with that optimism burning even brighter — It is truly a privilege to be able to take part in the tradition of students leading the protest for the human rights movement.

I’ve always felt that we are in a special position in that we are not able to accept things we see on the news as “just the way the world is”. These student activists are the hope and future of the Amnesty movement.

The New Lyell society’s annual ceilidh

Ciarán Gilbride THIS month, the New Lyell Society held its annual ceilidh. It was a night packed full of dancing, talking and, most importantly, whiskey!

Music was provided by the wonderful Nutty Professors which includes our own

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COMMENT FEATURES LIFESTYLE ARTS

Dave Mattey. It was a loud and vibrant night filled with traditional Scottish music and the dance moves were explained step by step.

Mid-way through the evening, we had the traditional stabbing of the haggis, and the honour, this year, fell to our Social Secretary Helayna Wade. She

managed to navigate the old Scottish wording and thrust the sword through the haggis without faltering.

Our whiskeys for the night were a selection from around Scotland, with some being single malts and some being blended. The most popular by far was the whiskey from Oban (possibly because of the annual second year fieldtrip).

It was very nice to see some of the first years attend!

Hopefully we will see more of you at next year’s ceilidh!

As the night went on the dancing became more uninhibited, with a special mention going to Wolfgang Müller who was tearing up

the dance floor!

We then had the raffle, drawn by the band. The winners were Cameron, in first year, and Dan Le Heron.

For the final dance, everyone was involved, and the best was definitely saved for last. It involved everyone dancing in a big circle before pairing off and doing a swing around.

After the final dance, it was a race to the whiskey table to grab some of the last measures, and some fared better than others in their last drink of the night (Natalie).

It was definitely the biggest and best event so far this year!

Everyone enjoyed themselves

and let their hair down after what has been a very intense term so far.

The society has to say a very special thank you to Chris Elders and Kevin Clemitshaw, for their donations of whiskey, and also to Euan Nisbet for providing the sword. You helped make the evening a huge success!

Our committee member, Ciarán Gilbride, is doing a 100km cycle for charity.

Please sponsor him, or sponsor the committee members who have already done their challenges. You can donate through the online Earth Sciences Store.

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Christmas Community Action

Hannah Davies THE first term is half way through, it’s getting colder, the leaves are red and falling off the trees.

Yes it is very clear that winter is fast approaching. As students we look forward to this time of year as it shows that the end of the first term of this university year is coming to an end, and of course the arrival of Christmas.

For many this time of year represents spending time with family and friends,

going out and celebrating the success of the last year, and of course sending cards, presents and being merry.

So why not do all of these things with your friends in the time leading up to Christmas whilst helping others at the same time?

Community Action runs a number of different projects throughout the year and Christmas is no different, they run projects like Santa’s Workshop (Wednesday 12 December) and support local projects such as the Rotary Club Christmas Collection,

and day centre Christmas Parties.

These projects help others in the local community and don’t take up much of your time. There will be collection points to donate items to Santa’s Workshop around campus, so even if you don’t have the time to volunteer please donate items and they will be very much appreciated!

You can also volunteer in the local community with projects such as Birchland’s Christmas Bazaar to raise funds for a residential care

home in Englefield Green or helping to put up the Christmas decorations in a day centre for the elderly.

Of course not everything has to be Christmas related, you could wrap up warm and help out at one of the ongoing ‘Love Your Campus’ teams, and after helping get yourself a free hot drink on us!

There really is something for everyone, but if you do have an idea, or a suggestion, or simply want to find out more we would love to hear from you. The Community Action team is now running

regular weekly drop-in sessions in venues across campus or you could email volunteering@rhul.ac.uk I wish everyone a happy and festive lead up to Christmas, and hope that you all take that small amount of time to do something with your friends that will make someone less fortunate have a Christmas just as special!

To find out more about volunteering with Community Action visit the website at www.rhul.ac.uk/volunteering or the “RHUL Community Action” Facebook page.

The Blitz Ball Rebekah Griffiths Our History Society Blitz Ball last month was a fantastic success!

Not only did we manage to completely surpass last year’s ticket sales, but we also managed to raise a total of £600 for RAG from the tickets we sold. Extra donations on the night and at our showing of Defiance on Tuesday, have managed to bring our total up to £620.50!

This is an amazing sum of money and I am truly grateful to everyone who donated and came along to the Blitz Ball to make it the best night of the year so far. It was a fantastic feeling to watch all those months of planning and frantic emails come together, and as the queue

for the bar got steadily longer and the dance floor got steadily busier, it was clear that it would be a fantastic evening.

Everyone I talked to, usually on my quest to demolish another round of nachos, told me how much they were enjoying themselves and the sheer number of 1940s dresses, uniforms and fabulous hairstyles on show really made it feel as though we’d gone back through time for an evening.

Once our singer started belting out those old-time classics, the dance floor was suddenly flooded with airmen and housewives jiving away as if there was no tomorrow, and even those who aren’t too confident in the dancing department, such as myself, found a little bit of wartime courage and got up to join the

crowd.

What really made the evening so great was the fact that there were so many new faces present!

From first year historians and lecturers, to members of all different societies, it was obvious that part of the Blitz Ball’s success was down to its ability to appeal to everyone, whether they study history or not.

We try to open our events to everyone, whether they’re a member of the society or not, and it was fantastic to see so many people taking advantage of this to have a great evening, and taking the chance to do something a little bit different.

New faces and old, I really hope you all enjoyed just as much as I did, and I’m sure we’ll be seeing you all once more at our Dinner Dance in March!

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The Orbital Dec 2012

RHUL nature group takes its first few steps into the world RHUL Nature Group

SOME of you may have noticed how beautiful a campus RHUL is, and the rest of you should really look up from your phones once in a while or you’ll probably walk into something.

I’m sure that the thought of how the campus looks the beautiful and healthy way it does has never even once crossed your minds, but now I am going to bring it to your attention.

Our campus is home to a team of very secretive, very special, magical pixies known as “gardeners”, and they do a fantastic job of keeping everything looking nice and green and alive. Now, our wonderful gardeners have joined forces with a small team of students, some lecturers from across all departments and other staff members to form a group known as the “RHUL Nature Group”.

The aim of the group is to bring students and staff together in order to help maintain and appreciate

the biodiversity seen on our campus. As with all newly formed groups, we’re still working out the kinks and we’re looking for ideas.

Ideas need students.

Students means you. Tell us what you’d like to do on campus and we will try to organise it! Feasible activities range from fungal surveys around campus, to tree planting, to pond dipping, to thrush surveys and we’re even trying to find a way of organising a bat survey!

If you can think of any activity or event, let us know, or just keep an eye on the page to find which events are running and when and also to keep up to date with nature in the news. As soon as the team behind the group have further developed their understanding of social networking (we’re working on it!) we will even run competitions and a photography challenge for all of you budding photographers, so watch this space!

As a group we have already run a tree-planting event,

where a group of around 15 students over two days worked alongside the gardeners to plant (and name) a variety of different tree species across campus. The event was a huge success and if you are ever walking near Jane Holloway Hall be sure to wave to little Link and Ramin the Hazel trees, Penelope the Hawthorn and all of the other amusingly named baby trees!

We are a very new group with very big ambitions. Please join us to help us expand and become bigger and better than ever! Anyone can join so if you fancy working with other students and staff alike just join us on facebook! If you can tell the difference between a tree and a rat, or a mushroom and a squirrel we would love to have you.

So get out there. Get involved.

Look at all of the beauty that is available on campus, and while you have your nose glued to your smartphone, find us on facebook and like us! Get involved and post on our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/ RhulNatureGroup.

Photo: Bruce Asher

Teach First MilkRound presentation

Joana Silva and Fatima Kassam MILK being delivered straight to our homes has been an enduring tradition in the UK. Envisage a world where students were able to get their desired jobs delivered directly to them in the same way. Milkround is an online

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resource available to students that does exactly that.

Not sure about your career choices? Milkround can help you to find out what jobs you may be suited to, with industry guides to help focus your attention and explain how best to start your job search.

On Thursday 26 November 2012, Royal Holloway is

having its very own Milkround presentation led by Teach First recruiters.

Teach First is number 4 in The Times Top 100 Graduate Employers.

“1 in 6 children leave school unable to read, write or add up properly”. This is one statistic amongst many that you will find if you visit the Teach

First website. How much you achieve in life should not be determined by how much your parents earn. Yet in the UK, it usually is. Teach First want to change this.

Teach First is an educational charity founded ten years ago. Their mission: to end inequality in education by building a community of exceptional leaders who create change within classrooms, schools and across society. To put it simply, as a teacher in a school facing challenging circumstances, you have no way of knowing if you are the only positive person that child has spoken to all day. Across the country there are pupils which are not receiving the quality of education they are entitled to as a right.

In communities where higher

education isn’t revered by all, where so many social issues penetrate the classroom environment, students needs leaders in the classroom that are willing to go above and beyond what is expected of them as teachers: to teach and do so exceptionally, to lead, to inspire. Every child should have access to a leader.

If you are interested in taking up this challenge, considering teaching or being part of a movement for change, come along to the Teach First Milkround presentation to find out more. It is taking place on 26th November, 5pm in Win 0-05. We hope to see you there!

As Teach First Brand Managers, we will also be holding a stall in Bedford Library and we’re always happy to answer any questions you may have!