ARTIST IN RESIDENCE

by Franne Demetrician

I have been writing in a journal since I was young; back then, we called it a “diary.” Mine was a little pink patent leather book with a “lock,” presumably so prying eyes wouldn’t read my deepest, darkest, pre-adolescent secrets.

I poured my heart out in that little book. I don’t remember what I wrote about, but it was probably how my parents didn’t understand me, or why the cute boy at school was ignoring me, or the D I got on my math test. My writing impulse started then. When that little book was filled, I decided it was too childish to replace it with another little patent leather book with a silly lock on it. Instead, I used my babysitting money to buy a nice notebook that I could slip between my mattress and box spring at night, thinking it was safe from those prying eyes. I never asked my mom if she found it or, God forbid, read it. All I know is, that book became my best friend and confidant.

Over the years, I’ve accumulated volumes of journals. Many of them are stored in big boxes in the garage. I’m not sure why I keep them. Maybe it’s because so much of my life is documented there. In years past, my journals were where I wrote about heartache and sadness, about losses and pain. I dumped it all there in words. It was a safe space for me to unload the feelings and thoughts that I simply couldn’t bring myself to say out loud to anyone, even my therapist or my best friend. Eventually, I became my journal’s “fair-weather friend,” only writing when my heart was heavy.

When I became immersed in my spiritual journey, I found that journaling was a wonderful companion. My nightly writing became letters to God. I would pour my thoughts out to the great unknown, feeling that my heart was safe to share on those pages. All my yearning and longing; all my joys and insights; all my sorrows and worries were scribbled on the pages of my journal. I recorded my gratitude for the path I was now on, which would lead me to places I never dreamed I would go.

In 1992, Julia Cameron published The Artist’s Way, which is a course in freeing the artist within. Four years later, Sara Ban Brethnach published the widely acclaimed Simple Abundance, A Daybook of

Comfort and Joy. Having spent much of my life in a state of insecurity and unease, discovering these books was a breath of fresh air. The words gave me a toe-hold on creating joy within simplicity and re-discovering my sleeping artist. I learned the practice of gratitude and took myself on artist dates. I embraced The Artist’s Way program and followed it to the letter for an entire year.

Not long after I completed that year, I heard and felt the call to interfaith ministry. The rest is history. My journal entries shifted their tone and evolved to the place where I express my deepest thanks to the Creator for every blessing in my life.

These days, I write in my journal most nights before sleep. Sometimes, my entries are stream of consciousness, like Cameron’s morning pages. They may flow with or without direction, but they flow, nevertheless. But most of the entries are love letters to the God of my understanding. I begin and end each entry with gratitude, even on the dark days, of which there have been many in recent months.

I offer up my day’s experiences for insight, my challenges for clarity and understanding, and my longing and yearning for direction.

Gratitude is my primary spiritual practice. Gratitude is my anchor. Gratitude lights my way and gives me grace.

If you haven’t tried journaling, I humbly suggest you give it a try. Start by writing five things for which you are grateful. Start with the simple fact that you woke up this morning, or that first cup of coffee, or the feeling of the sun on your face. You’ll be surprised by all the blessings in your life that you might be taking for granted. Let them have some space on a page in your diary. It feels good, and we all want to feel good.

Until next time.

Rev. Franne Demetrician is an interfaith minister. She has been a licensed holistic health practitioner since 1995 and wrote a spiritually oriented weekly blog from 2015 -2018. Franne is a working artist, photographer, writer, spiritual counselor, mentor, and teacher.