The Patriot February 2004, Issue 4, Vol 39

Features Student comically reßects on a typical Valentine’s Day fantasy

Pat riot

John Carroll School " Tradition " Pride " Excellence

he

February 2004

Volume 39, Issue 4

Sports Rose controversy heats elease of his !

!

Electra.

"

Page 15

News Bush covers key issues in world policy and American life in annual State of the Union !

Address.

Pages 6-7

Editorials The frigid tempature of the school leaves students shivering at their desks. Page 4

Snowfall piles up vacation days Icy streets and record setting cold weather close schools, causing more hassle than relaxation Jen Smith Staff Writer Howling winds, subzero wind chills, and mounds of icy snow. No, I’m not talking about the weather in Vermont.

Maryland has been experiencing record cold spells and inconsistent weather since winter started, and it does not appear to be ending any time soon.

According to The Weather Channel Online, the average temperature in Bel Air for the month of January is 33 degrees. This year, we had two weeks where the temperature never reached freezing.

The record low for January 19, 1994 was -8 degrees. That was also the winter that Maryland had terrible ice accumulations after storms ravaged the state.

The average temperature in February is 36 degrees. Those who are superstitious will be unhappy to know that Pauxsatauny Phil, the infamous groundhog that many believe predicts the weather, has predicted six more weeks of winter. Phil’s prediction is a safe bet for weather forecasters when discussing this winter.

Mr. Barker said that the school used snow days for the hurricane and has since used an additional two snow days.

The school calendar allowed for three snow days. Whenever the school uses more days than are available, holidays and other vacation days are going to be taken away from students and faculty.

Mr. McAdams added the usually, the two holidays that are taken away are the Senior Retreat Holiday and the day after the Country Fair, as was the case last year after a blizzard which left three feet of snow and caused major ßooding in some parts of Maryland. The other possibility is taking away days in June. Mr. McAdams clariÞed that the administration does not like to modify the June calendar due to family plans for vacations and the like and only alters the last day of school if necessary.

The recent three day snow and ice event caused major problems for the entire state, as numerous people were snowed in for three days. Additionally, the intermingling of two power lines caused 70,000 people to lose power in Harford County alone, according to ABC News.

Many John Carroll students lost power for Þve to eight hours. The power outage added insult to injury as the frigid air seeped into homes and caused chaos on Route 24 and Route 924, as frantic motorists attempted to traverse the now lightless highways. Besides all of the aforementioned details, many people had to worry about pipes freezing

and bursting inside of their homes. This winter has taken a toll on Marylanders and it is not over yet.

How do John Carroll students feel about snow days and the inclement weather? Students are in agreement that they deÞnitely have things that they like and dislike about the occasional snow day.

Senior Lauren Thompson stated, “Snow days are the best. Not only do you get out of school, but you can spend the entire day in your p.j.s.”

Stephanie Truant, also a senior, readily agrees. “The best feeling is when the alarm goes off and you can hit ‘snooze’ as many times as you like.”

Seniors Morgan Sergi, Meghan Jacques, and Kelly Townley all agree that they enjoy snow days as well. They enjoy spending time with their friends and going sledding.

Lauren Thompson added, “Students should not have to make up single days off for snow.” She continued saying that only when it is extended periods of snow-related closings should students be required to make up the time.

As mentioned earlier, there are a few things about snow days that students did not Þnd amusing. Many cautious parents would not let their sons and daughters out to drive anywhere.

Stephanie Truant interjected that

she had to clean off Þve automobiles which were all covered in snow.

With the recent storm, many students simply had to content themselves with watching movies and television and going on the Internet to talk to their friends.

With another storm on its way, it appears that students may be spending more time at home watching reruns of canceled television shows and eating lots of snacks while teachers wonder how they will get their lesson plans in before spring.

JC Vacation Days Fall With Temperature Summer Vacation #

#

#

#

Country Fair Holiday # # 32°F

#

Senior Retreat # Holiday

#

Editorials

2

Caf prices burn holes in pockets

photo by Lauren Schnupp

The alarm clock goes off. After I groggily half-open one eye and gaze at the bright green light that reads, yes, 6:30 am, I decide I have to get up and get ready for school. After a couple more minutes of sweet slumber, I realize that that was a silly idea and decide to repeatedly hit the snooze button until around 7:00.

My homework half-Þnished, I attend my Þrst eight mods of class until I Þnally have one mod off. My stomach growling, I meet my friends and head towards the cafeteria. “Finally,” I think to myself, “I have a chance to relax and eat.”

Little did I know that rising cafeteria prices would have it in for me.

In the lunch line, I notice something different… the cups of fries are half the size that they used to be! Naively, I think this is a great idea. With the $0.75 I have in my pocket, I had planned on just b u y i n g a couple cookies, but now that the fry cups are smaller (and most-likely cheaper), I can probably a f f o r d fries! Eagerly, I get a hold of a cup, dig the change out of my pocket, and prepare to pay.

The lunch lady rings up my order, out of the bill, Þnally accepts it. I punch detention slip. In an attempt to avoid a and, low and behold, my lunch costs $1.25! in the numbers and, what’s this? My fate such as this, I cut my losses and move One may ask, “Well how can that on to my next mod. be, $1.25 was the old price of fries.

Disheartened and Didn’t you buy a smaller order of hungry, I leave the fries, which would therefore cost cafeteria. less than before?”

Such a To answer this logical scenario could question, yes, I did in fact receive a happen any day smaller order of fries. Nonetheless, of the week at the ridiculous decision was made to JC. With food downsize cafeteria food portions, prices ceaselessly but to keep prices the same. As on the rise, few I stand in line, an underclassman alternatives are left thoughtfully offers me two quarters for the typical cashso that I may eat. carrying cafeteria When I Þnd a place to patron. In the wake sit down and eat, I look into my of the newly candyinfamous cup of fries and notice less bookstore, that there are scarcely more than overpriced vending A hungry student succumbs to overly priced cafeteria food. two fries therein, averaging out to machines are our a whopping 62.5 cents per fry! only option.

Annoyed at this point, I bum a Whachamacallit, which was $0.55 in the Likewise, many have turned dollar from someone at my table. Equipped bookstore not over a year ago, costs me to the lunch line for their lunchtime with a dollar in $1.25 in the vending machine! nourishment. However, we cannot even Infuriated, I look at the clock and depend on fries and a soda for constant, my hand and an empty stomach, see that there are only three minutes left in reasonable pricing.

I head towards my mod anyway. I hit the return change I guess it’s true what they say, the vending button, but, surprise! The machine eats that life is full of changes. However, never m a c h i n e s . my money. I glance to my right and notice did I think that “changes” meant that my Determined to that a fellow student using the adjacent high school cafeteria would cheat me out get some food vending machine seems to be having the of a reasonably priced lunch. For now, that I can actually same problem.

I suppose, I will have to learn to cope After several kicks to his vending with change, albeit I lack the “change” afford, I scan the machines until I machine, my lunchtime comrade resorts to necessary to purchase a lunch at JC. But Þnd my favorite shaking the machine. From the lunchroom until then, I guess I’ll have to carry more candy bar, the corner, Mr. Piercy spies this incident and money with me to school, brown-bag it, or promptly hands the innocent student a forgo lunches altogether.

Whachamacallit. photo by Lauren Schnupp

Laura Kirchner Editorials Co Editor

Drooling at this point, I feed the dollar to the machine, which after my several attempts at ßattening all wrinkles

Patriot

Iowa dethrones Dean Sam Marll Staff Writer

he

John Carroll School 703 Churchville Road, Bel Air, Maryland 21014 Volume 39, Number 4, February 2004

Editor in Chief.............................................................................Katie Chlada Managing Editor ....................................................................Rachael Kessler Editorials co Editor..................................................................Laura Kirchner Editorials co Editor.....................................................................Billy Hughes Comics Editor..................................................................................Dan Tims News co Editor.......................................................................Courtney Kurtz News co Editor...........................................................................Erin O’Brien Features co Editor....................................................................Laurie Krysiak Features co Editor........................................................................Britt Cramer Entertainment co Editor..............................................................Katie Burton Entertainment co Editor................................................................Sarah Jones Sports co Editor.........................................................................Rose DiPaula Sports co Editor.........................................................................John Vigliotti Photography Editor.......................................................MaryBeth Derbyshire Business Manager....................................................................Pat Harrington Archives Editor................................................................................Cati Horn Exchange Manager...................................................................Joe Matarazzo

Staff: Brian Averill, Adam Bell, Chelsea Eldreth, Aisling Finck, Cati Horn, Pat Isennock, David Lomonico, Sam Marll, Joe Matarazzo, Stephanie Rew, Lauren Schnupp, Jennifer Smith.

The Patriot is a publication of the students of John Carroll School. The views and opinions expressed in The Patriot are not necessarily the views and opinions of the Board or Administration of The John Carroll School.

The editorial staff invites and greatly appreciates comments from readers on any issue.

Volume 39, Number 4

The

One Iowa to rule them all, and in the Darkness bind them. Or so the U.S. Constitution goes. So the Iowa caucus has come and gone, with Dr. Dean placing a distant third. At this point, no one really cares that Kerry came in Þrst.

It’s all about the "YEEEEEEE EEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

If Dean is nominated as the Democratic candidate, he will be the Þrst Democrat that can successfully imitate a WWF wrestler. And everyone knows that being able to scream like a pro wrestler comes in handy during diplomatic meetings. What other qualiÞcations need a Presidential candidate have?

Just imagine the possibilities: Canadian Prime Minister: "Well, I’m sorry President Dean, but we just don’t have the budget to tighten border security." President Dean: "Yeah? Well, it looks like I’M GONNA HAVE TO LAY THE SMACKDOWN ON YOU CANADIANS IF YOU DON’T STRAIGHTEN UP! HOOOOYEEAHHH! NOW WATCH ME WHILE I DO CLAPPER PUSHUPS, EH CANADIAN BOY?" Plus, Dean’s outburst proves what a

Patriot

fantastic presidential candidate he would be. When asked why he screamed, Dean claimed it was to appeal to the "passion of the youth" at the meeting. After all, I know I would sleep better at night knowing the leader of the free world is a man who throws an insane temper tantrum when he doesn’t get his way. Very comforting.

So while the good doctor may have lost the Iowa caucus, and most recently the New Hampshire primary, I think I speak for everyone when I say a man who can freak out like that deserves to be in the White House.

February 2004

Editorials

3

The power of suggestion

C

By Dan

o m i c s

Bush on family values crusade While applying for a job, I noticed a box at the beginning of the application that stated “Our policy is to provide equal employment, training, compensation, promotion and other conditions of employment without regard to race, color, religion, sexual orientation, national origin, sex, age, disability or veteran status.” I stared at the statement. It was the culmination of decades of protest and civil liberty conquests, yet its words seemed to sugarcoat the reality of prejudice that still exists today, especially for homosexuals.

In a nation that has struggled to create an environment where each individual is guaranteed the same opportunities, a glass ceiling is still ever present. Homosexuals are the focus of this generation’s rights movement and as a group they have worked to break the glass barriers that hold them as an unaccepted minority. In most recent events, the topic of samesex marriage has been the catalyst for controversy and the President of the United States is in the middle of it.

President Bush declared the week of October 12 through October 18, 2003 as Marriage Protection Week stating that it was time for the American people to recognize marriage as a “union between a man and a woman.” He stressed the fortiÞcation of America’s youth in couples that maintained a strong, safe, and loving home. The President said renewing the sanctity of marriage would beneÞt “our people, our culture, and our society.”

With his address to the people of the United States, President Bush not only alienated homosexuals by characterizing them as unequal and unable to achieve a stable household, but also showed support for the movement against same sex marriage. He hasn’t yet endorsed any speciÞc proposal, and his remarks towards the issue are

February 2004

purposely ambiguous. critical. He is playing both sides of the political spectrum.

Bush remarked, “Marriage in the United States In a plea to regain support with the social moderates, he shall consist only of the union of a man said, “the debate on gay marriage should be civil and reand a woman. Neither this spectful,” adding that God views homosexuals as having constitution or the constitution dignity and value, yet he said he would not support civil of any state, nor unions of hostate or federal mosexuals law, shall be in his home arriage is about the construed state of Texas. principal of love.” to require With the that martial Supreme Justatus or the dicial Court legal incidents decision in thereof be conferred upon Massachusetts upholding gay marriage, conservatives unmarried couples or groups.” fear that without a constitutional amendment banBush said he would ning gay marriage, the act will become a part of the support an amendment banning fabric of American life. However, with the liberalizagay marriage. However, he tion of America’s future generations, that fact proves technically left the issue for inconsequential and inevitable. At this point and time, states to resolve amongst Americans are evenly split on the decision with the their own government. opposition’s numbers slowly but surely decreasing Conservatives claim that Marriage is about the principal of love. If Adam this indicates his sup- and Steve truly love each other, marriage should be an opport against the issue, tion in solidifying their commitment. Homosexuals’ Þght but does not solidify it. for this right is not about legal or social security beneÞts, The President’s it’s about “beat around the recthe bush” (no ognition t’s not the President’s place to pun intended) as indidictate religious policy.” tactic proves his inviduals ability to form any that have logical basis for arguthe ability to love ment against same sex marriage. His opinion is in a monogamous relationship, that have the abilguided by his loyalty to the ity to raise a child in a strong, safe, and loving home. narrow-mindedness of the Their Þght is for equality in the eyes of society and right-winged conservatives the government. David Brooks, New York Times coland by his own faith-based umnist, said, “We [Americans] shouldn’t just allow We should insist on gay marriage.” background, which should not gay marriage.

The nation should accept the inevitability of be a factor in his legislative decision-making. Same sex homosexual equality and embrace it. Love has never marriage should be debated been a tangible and law based entity, therefore we on religious ground; however, should not tamper with it in its greatest form: permait is not the president’s place nent commitment and marriage. In the words of Presito dictate religious policy. dent Bush himself, “We [the nation] must continue our Moreover, Bush on this issue work to create a compassionate, welcoming society, has proven to be very hypo- where all people are treated with dignity and respect.”

M

I

created by Erin O’Brien

Katie Chlada Editor in Chief

The

Patriot

Volume 39, Number 4

Editorials

4

Frigid temps slam school “It’s freezing!”

No, this exclamation does not come from a person who decided to go outside during the Arctic temperatures from the mid-January cold front. It comes from students similar to myself who are blasted by subzero temperatures every time they enter a JC classroom after a long weekend. Students experience a temperature range of warm to cool to frigid to freezing just by walking from one classroom to another. Teachers expect students to concentrate on the lesson while all the students can think about is the frostbite nipping at their nimble Þngers while they nervously clutch their pencils.

So what’s the deal? Students want to know why icicles form on the ends of their noses during class. Facility Director Dave Moxey insists that there is nothing wrong with the heating system. The school normally averages a temperature of seventy degrees to seventy-two degrees, although several factors alter that number. The heating system relies on heat emitted from boiling water, which is Þltered throughout the building.

However, Moxey does point out that when the school was constructed forty years ago, schools were not as energyefÞcient as schools built more recently. Those in charge of selecting the basic necessities for the school were not as knowledgeable as to how certain combinations of systems would affect the atmosphere of the school.

During the weekend, the heating system goes into an energy-saving mode, during which the heating system does

not turn on as much as during the week. Unfortunately, this means cooler temperatures on Monday mornings.

Another factor that contributes to the temperature changes in the school is the single-pane windows installed throughout the school. A standard home has double-paned windows, which help retain more heat than single-paned windows. Moxey concludes by saying that window upgrades are in discussion and are dependent upon available funding. Hopefully “in discussion” is not synonymous with “dead in the water.”

Each classroom has a separate thermostat, which allows teachers to adjust the temperature.

This does not always allow teachers to control the temperatures in their rooms. The individual vents in the teachers’ rooms, at times, do not function properly.

The issue of the temperature in the school raises a few other questions. Do students equally notice the temperature in the school and come to a general consensus about it? Is there something that can be done to remedy this situation one way or another?

Senior Paula Kouneski states, “It’s always cold. I

think that guys and girls do notice the temperature equally.”

Josh Kapnek, also a senior, adds, “In the winter, it is a little cool. It is mainly the girls that notice [the temperature].

The guys tend to have the option to wear more clothing.”

The teachers are not in agreement on the issue of the temperature in the school. Mrs. Zelenka says that her room tends to be warm while the hallways are chilly. Mr. Low also says that his room tends to be warm. Mrs. Jansing-Kaestner states that her room varies. On Monday morning, her room is cold but it is warm by Friday afternoon.

She also states that the girls tend to notice it more because of the amount of clothing the girls are allowed to wear. Mr. Gaudreau also cites that the girls tend to notice the temperature more because of the uniform requirements. Mrs. Gradishar also agrees that girls tend to notice the temperature more, and states that her room has a more-regulated temperature this year than in previous years.

Mr. Spencer says that his room ranges from a “sauna” to “freezing” in literally one day. Mr. Spencer amends his statement to say that it would be better if his room would either remain one extreme or the other because then it would be easier to dress accordingly. Everyone notices the temperature, but the girls tend to express more concern over the temperature.

Students are not the only ones who eat in a frequently cold environment, which is often compounded by the large windows and doors. The faculty dining room experiences the same cold temperatures that students encounter. Ms. Potter states that she was too cold and wore a jacket while eating her lunch. Even teachers who normally do not mind the cooler temperatures admit that it was cold.

Is there an answer to this problem? Not they can exploit for the entertainment directly. There are some possible suggesof millions of Americans. Of course, if tions to aid in combating the erratic temyou’ve signed up to be on the Real World, perature changes. I suggest an amendment you don’t really mind being exploited. to the handbook allowing students to have The whole show just feels like a setup. an additional sweater or vest as one quickAfter what seems like Þfty seasons, the Þx solution. The improvements to the Real World needs to end. MTV needs windows in the school might help regulate to get real with their programming. The the temperature. With the new gym just name of the network is MTV—Music Þnished and the auditorium next on the Television, NOT TRL-Room-Raiding-the- docket, perhaps the people in power will Osbournes-Beach-House-Tail-Dating-the- be loath to upgrade something as trivial as Real-World-Road-Rules-Challenge-Made- windows, but Þxing the temperature ßuctuRich-Girls-Til-Viva-La-Bam-Do-Us-Part- ations needs to be moved to the top of JC’s Dismissed…TV. “To Do” list. Students will Þght the Monday morning deep-freeze by themselves until something is done to thaw them out. courtesy of www.google.com

Jennifer Smith Staff Writer

Get real, Real World Joe Matarazzo Exchange Manager

You’ve got to be kidding me.

I’m sure I joined the rest of the viewing audience when I said [expletive deleted].

What is wrong with the casting directors?

Were they all scrambling the night before for a bunch of job openings for the show when one said “Hey! Lets put ‘em all on a couple sailboats and…wait, that one girl is mortally terriÞed of boats…oh well, sucks for her!” This isn’t Jackass or Wildboyz, they were all probably expecting a nice desk job or maybe even manager at Target.

The producers speciÞcally pick people with weaknesses or fears that

If there is one thing people know about me it is that I am an avid TV watcher.

While searching for classic episodes of Jackass or Married with Children late at night, I came across the new Real World San Diego. I thought the previous season was decent so I Þgured I would give it a shot.

It started out like any other reality show. Seven strangers, at least one from every possible ethnic background, are forced to live together in front of the entire world. Cameras follow every move, every hot tub party, and every hookup.

You would think that people with issues would think of the lack of privacy as a good enough reason NOT to participate. But no, they keep proving their idiocy to everyone else.

Take Real World San Diego member Frankie, a 21 year-old girl from Kansas City. At Þrst sight, she’s clearly not average Real World Unreal Cast: Real World San Diego’s stars have created a material. On top of being the complete television show out of being mentally and morally bankrupt. Top opposite of a perky ditz, she shares (from left to right): Brad, Robin, and Randy. Bottom (from left to with the public her dealings with Cystic Fibrosis along with a ridiculous right): Cameran, Frankie, Jacques, and Jamie. pictures coutesy of www.mtv.com fear of large metal objects. Ok, maybe I’m being a bit harsh, everyone has his or her own worst fear…but come on now, how can you be afraid of a boat? She’s not even on the thing and she’s about to have a seizure. After the incredible feat of putting a jacket over her head and carrying her along the dock between two boats, the cast members Þnd out that their new job is—that’s right—sailing!

Volume 39, Number 4

The

Patriot

Disney Dismissed Eisner under fire Billy Hughes Editorials co Editor

Disney can say goodbye to Finding Nemo and hello to Þnding a new CEO. Two weeks ago, Pixar Studios announced it would not be renewing its contract with Disney, and Disney CEO Michael Eisner didn’t put up much of a Þght. Disney’s last three animated Þlms have grossed 507 million dollars worldwide, while Nemo alone grossed a whopping 844 million dollars.

Pixar makes Disney so much money that Mickey himself should be groveling at the feet of Pixar CEO Steve Jobs. With Roy Disney, nephew of Walt, campaigning for a change in management, and now with Pixar severing all ties, Eisner will be groveling at the feet of somebody – begging for a job.

February 2004

News

5

Chelsea Eldrith and Courtney Kurtz Staff Writer and News co Editor

Library amnesty week was the week prior to Christmas break. This opportunity enabled students and faculty to return overdue books free of charge. Mrs. Dearing stated that there was such a large amount of books overdue and out of the library that she Þgured this would provide motivation to the student body to return the books.

“Most were pleased to be able to return their books without an overdue Þne,” reported Mrs. Dearing.

Library amnesty week was a

win-win situation for all members of the JC community. Students were able to return their books free of charge, and the school was able to regain a majority of the overdue books without hurting Þnancially for the loss of the Þnes that would have been collected from the overdue books.

“Fines are only Þve cents a day so it would take a lot to rack up a large Þne,” said library assistant Mrs. Grymes.

However, despite the widespread success of library amnesty week, there most likely won’t be another amnesty week this year, so don’t hold onto your overdue books waiting for the next one to come around.

photo by Erin O’Brien

Library Amnesty Week saves irresponsible students

During amnesty week senior Chris Porter attempts to pay off a fine that he accumulated through turning in a late book. Luckily, since it is amnesty week, Mrs. Russell declines Porter’s money. This week allowed students to turn in their overdue library books without having to pay any fees.

New National Honor Society members inducted Rachael Kessler Managing Editor The National Honor Society, or NHS, is a nationwide organization that promotes scholarship among high school students. “National Honor Society membership is a privilege afforded to students deemed to reßect, in exemplary fashion, the qualities for which the organization stands: scholarship, leadership, character, and service,” states the student handbook.

On Monday, February 9, twenty-four students who depict these qualities were inducted into the JC chapter of the NHS. NHS membership has several beneÞts for students, one of which being scholarship opportunities.

“There are scholarships offered simply to NHS members. They are outright gifts to students just for being a member of NHS,” said co-moderator Mrs. Dearing.

However these scholarships are earned by hard work. The NHS prides itself on scholarship, service, leadership, and character. Members are required to perform six hours of community service every semester in addition to the hours required for graduation. They also work to help the spirit of scholarship throughout the JC community.

“We’re responsible for keeping the marquee updated and we tutor students in whatever subject they’re struggling in,” said junior Kristen Barry, a second-year member of NHS. First and foremost is the quality of scholarship.

The new inductees Þrst had to meet the scholastic requirement. This year’s seniors needed to have a 35.0

cumulative quality point average from the 2002-03 school year and the fall quarter of the current year. Beginning with the class of 2005, however, students are required to have a 35.0 average from all of high school.

Students who have met that requirement next must fulÞll the guidelines for leadership, character, and service. “Each student who applies Þlls out cards where teachers attest to these qualities and then writes an essay which tells why they exhibit these qualities and why they should be a member of NHS,” Mrs. Dearing said.

In addition to this, applicants were required to Þll three leadership cards and Þve character cards. They had to also be involved in at least two extra-curricular activities and have eight service hours from July 1 to the time of application.

Then, a school board, whose members are not publicly disclosed, evaluated each applicant’s cards and written statement. The approved applicants and their parents were sent a letter notifying them of their acceptance.

Each inductee then signed the book of JC chapter members as their parents and the current members looked on. The newest members are proud of their accomplishment. Junior Tim Adle said, “I’m pretty excited because I feel that it is a great honor to be in the National Honor Society.”

Junior Larry Hetzel agreed, saying, “Being a member of NHS reßects your hard work and dedication and it emphasizes your service to the community.” JC now has a new group of exemplary students to promote scholarship, leadership, character, and service.

NHS Inductees Class of 2004 Katherine Burton Trevor Logan Courtney Scott Class of 2005 Tim Adle Charles English Lawrence Hetzel Matthew Jacques Rachael Kessler Allison Kingery Patricia Kingery Justin Lake Leah McGann Class of 2006 Daniel Brond Claire Bronis Jennifer DiBiagio Jeremy Finck Lisa Floyd George Giannakis Caitlin Keitly Kristen Lozinak Daniel Morris Delia Pais Anne Sedney Natalie Vielkind

Pow “Wows” students, faculty, community alike On Saturday, January 17th, John Carroll held its fourth annual Pow Wow. This year’s Pow Wow was very exciting and well attended. Four students ßew in from St. Labre Indian School in Ashland, Montana. These four students served as the head dancers in the gym. This helped make the 2004 Pow Wow the most successful one yet.

The event was very well attended. There were about 1,400 people packed into the gym at 1 p.m. for the grand entry, and an estimated 2,000 people in all. Many were forced to stand because there were not enough seats.

The Pow Wow was open to the public. There was a small admission fee of $3 for adults and $1 for children.

Over $3,500 was collected in all. This was the most money JC has ever collected from a Pow Wow. In fact, JC only raised $5,000 total over the course of the Þrst three years.

They almost matched their three-year total this year.

In addition, there were many traders that came to JC and sat up tables in the hallway and sold various

February 2004

Indian memorabilia. Buffalo meat, which is a very popular food of the Indians, was sold. Buffalo dogs were also sold, which is similar to a hot dog; only it is made out of buffalo meat. After eating a buffalo dog, senior Jeff Pilarski said, “It was pretty sick.”

All of the money collected from the Pow Wow was donated to St. Labre.

The school is very grateful to receive the money because the Cheyenne and A professional dancer Crow children are very moves to the beat of poor. Some of the children’s the drums. families may not be able to afford their tuition if JC did not raise money annually.

As Mr. Scholl put it, “As long as there’s an Anthropology Class, we’ll continue doing the Pow Wow.” photo courtesy of yearbook

Adam Bell Staff Writer

The

Patriot

Volume 39, Number 4

News

6

Bush delivers State of the Union Address: Erin O’Brien News co Editor

“We will preserve the system of private medicine...that makes America’s health care the best in the world.”

“America is the land of second chance” “[The use of performance enhancing drugs] sends the wrong message: that there are shortcuts to accomplishments...”

With politicians deeply entangled in the presidential race and both parties closely scrutinizing each other, President Bush delivered the annual State of the Union Address live before the world on Tuesday, January 20, 2004. A few of the main points Bush touched on were the accomplishments of the War in Iraq, the continuation of the Patriot Act and the tax reduction (both of which are soon to expire), and his plans for the future of healthcare and education in the U.S. Bush began his address by pushing the renewal of the Patriot Act. He stirred emotions and enforced the Act’s validity by mentioning September 11th. He said, “Over two years [have passed] without an attack on American soil, and it is tempting to believe that the danger is behind U.S. That hope is understandable, comforting, and false.”

He went on to say that in order to remain under protection it is important, “...to give homeland security and law enforcement personnel every tool they need to defend U.S.” He also stated that, “One of those essential tools is the Patriot Act, which allows federal law enforcement to better share information, to track terrorists, to disrupt their cells, and to seize their assets.”

Bush also took the opportunity to indirectly address the world. He persuaded countries to cooperate with the coalition efforts in the War on Terror citing that, “Nine months of intense negotiations...succeeded in Libya, while twelve years of diplomacy with Iraq did not.” He continued by saying, “For diplomacy to be effective, words must be credible. And no one can now doubt the word of America.”

He speciÞcally addressed North Korea and Iran in the same way. He said, “We’re insisting that North Korea eliminate its nuclear program.” as well as, “America and the international community are demanding that Iran meet its commitwww.msn.com

“...no one can now doubt the word of America.”

ments and not develop nuclear weapons.”

Bush responded to criticism of the War on Terror by saying, “The terrorists and their supporters declared war on U.S. and war is what they got.”

He said that the toppling of Saddam’s regime has left the world a better place without Hussein’s killing Þelds, torture chambers, and brutality. Bush spoke only in passing about the discovery of programs to build weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Bush named almost all of the countries that have aided the U.S. in the War on Terror, citing that this is an international effort. This was also in response to criticism that the war has been solely U.S. run and thus draining the country’s assets. He continued, saying that the U.S. will never ignore the support of these

countries, and boldly proclaimed that, “America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our country.”

After brießy discussing his plans regarding the future of the Middle East (bring reliable news stations, develop free market, “transform a troubled part of the world,” and, in some cases, built Democracy) Bush shifted his address toward other issues facing the country.

One of the major criticisms of the Bush administration is that they do not care about the interests of everyday American citizens- that their loyalties lie solely in corporate America. Recent polls show that fewer than 50 percent of those polled believed that President Bush “cares about people like you.”

The Democratic Party has been utilizing this criticism as one of their ma-

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

N

Martin Luther King, Jr. was a minister and civil-rights leader in Atlanta, Georgia. During the 1960’s, King actively spoke out on his feelings about the injustice of segregation. On the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC, he delivered his famous “I Have A Dream” speech on August 28th, 1963. King was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964 for his efforts in working towards equality. However, his efforts had mixed success. While some praised King’s beliefs, others despised them. On April 4th, 1968, a man named James Earl Ray shot King while he was standing on a balcony at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee. His sudden death upset many Americans and caused riots in over 130 cities, resulting in twenty thousand arrests. The Martin Luther King, Jr. Federal Holiday and Service Act was signed into law on August 23, 1994. “It’s important to remember what he did for the civil rights movement,” said junior Eva Budzynski. King’s birthday is celebrated on the third Monday of January in all Þfty states to serve as a day of community service, interracial cooperation and peace.

Valentine’s Day Valentine’s Day is a bona Þde national holiday that is annually celebrated on February 14th. Legends say that Valentine’s Day originated in Rome when Emperor Claudius decided that single men made better soldiers than married men. Therefore, he outlawed marriage for young men. Saint Valentine was opposed to this new law, so he supposedly performed secret marriages for young men.

When Claudius found out, he sentenced Saint Valentine to death.

While Valentine was in prison, legends say that he fell in love with the jailor’s daughter and wrote her a love letter right before his death sentence. The letter was signed, “From your Valentine.” From the Middle Ages on, Valentine’s Day became recognized as a national holiday. “I like to celebrate Valentine’s Day with the people I care about,” said freshman Angie Soul.

Did you know… This Valentines Day, say, “I love you,” to your friends and family in 65 different languages! Go here: www.travlang.com/languages/iloveyou.html

Did you know… On January 3, 1964, King appeard on the cover of Time magazine as its Man of the Year.

ational holiday history

Volume 39, Number 4

jor issues in this year’s race. In response, Bush has executed a policy of, “compassion offensive,” which was reßected in his proposing of several social plans during the address. However, democrats argue that his plans are too few and too weak.

Bush also made an attempt to publicly separate himself from corporate America by criticizing recent corporate scandals. Bush shifted his focus toward the economy saying, “This economy is strong and growing stronger.”

Bush charged that his tax cuts have allowed everyday citizens to invest their money back into the economy, creating economic stimulus. He said, “American people are using their money far better than the government would have.”

The Þrst program that Bush mentioned was the No Child Left Behind Act. Bush touched on its success saying that there has been a 36% increase in educational funding since 2001. He said, “I refuse to give up on any child. And the No Child Left Behind Act is opening the door of opportunity to all of America’s children.”

He next moved from childhood education toward adult education. He proposed a program geared toward modern technology called Jobs For the 21st Century that includes expanding Advanced Placement high school courses, inviting private school teachers to part time public high school teaching, and supporting community colleges.

Other things that Bush mentioned were the necessity for the country to depend less upon foreign sources of energy, to conserve that of what the country currently has, and to modernize the country’s electrical system. He also proposed allowing people to keep a portion of their Social Security so they can build a nest egg for their future retirement. He said this would allow people to, “Limit the burden of government on the economy by acting as good stewards.”

He suggested a plan to reform immigration laws to allow a temporary worker program. He said that this would allow companies to seek these workers in an “honest, organized fashion.” He also suggested an amnesty program geared toward those workers who are currently breaking

The

Patriot

Courtney Kurtz News co Editor

February 2004

News

7

www.msn.com

“Government run healthcare system is the wrong prescription”

set immigration laws. He said that in this way the U.S. will be preserving citizenship, and at the same time allowing for those who meet the criteria to seek legal status.

With some 19 percent of the country going without healthcare coverage, the question of the government’s role in healthcare has become one of much heated debate. Bush went over the recent Medicare Reform and mentioned the upcoming introduction of a drug discount card for seniors. He put forth

the ideas of allowing Americans to establish tax-free health savings accounts, and to make insurance more affordable.

He also urged congress to pass Association Health Plans. This would allow several small businesses to band together and purchase healthcare coverage as a large unit. Bush proposed a plan for refundable tax credit on private insurance and said that those who need “catastrophic health care coverage” should be given 100 percent deductions on insurance.

However, in his belief, “A government run healthcare system is the wrong prescription.” He Þnished, saying, “By keeping costs under control, expanding access and helping more Americans afford coverage, we will preserve the system of private medicine that makes America’s health care the best in the world.”

Upon completing the discussion of his plans for the future of healthcare, Bush moved on to the condition of the American family. He stated that drug use in high school is down 11 percent, and that parents need to continue to inßuence their children to make the right choices.

Bush mentioned that 3 million teenagers a year contract STD’s. He proposed new funding for community-based support in schools and an incentive program for those who participate. These programs will focus on dangerous teen behaviors such as drugs and sex that may have long lasting effects on their lives. He described the plan as one way to, “counter the negative inßuence of the culture.”

Bush turned the focus of the family discussion away from teenagers when he once again pushed to, “defend the sanctity of marriage.” Because this issue is being dealt with in the court system and by the state government, Bush encouraged people to rally behind this cause.

Bush also took a stance against the use of Performance Enhancing Drugs in the athletic world. He appealed to professional sports to ban their use. “It sends the wrong message: that there are shortcuts to accomplishments and that performance is more important than character,” he said.

Lastly he proposed allowing social service grants to faith-based charities, and another social program called the Prisoner Reentering Initiative. This initiative will provide housing and jobs to inmates who have been recently released from prison. Bush supported this plan by saying, “America is the land of second chance.”

Bush wrapped up his speech by quoting lines from a letter that was written to him by a young girl who was asking what she could do for the country, again drawing emotion from the audience. Among the Þnal words of his conclusion he said, “We now move forward with conÞdence and faith,” and ultimately ended in the usual way, “May God continue to bless America.”

President’s Day

“He embraced a radical doctrine of pre-emptive war unprecedented in our history; and he failed to build a true international coalition.” -House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi “Even the most powerful nation in history must bring other nations to our side to meet comon dangers.”

-House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi

“Instead of the diplomatic disengagement that almost destroyed the Middle East peace process and aggravated the danger posed by North Korea, let us seek to forge agreements and coalitions- so that, together with others, we can address challenges before they threaten the security of the world.”

-House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi “Only when every American who wants to work, can, when every child goes to a good school and has the opportunity to go further, only when health care is available and affordable for every American, when a lifetime of work guarantees a retirement with dignity and when America is secure at home and our strength abroad is respected and not resented- only then will we have a union as strong as the American people.”

-Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle of South Dakota

“The state of our union is strongstronger than the terrorists who seek to harm us and stronger than the challenges that confront us.”

-Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle of South Dakota “At the same time, we know that our union can be stronger still.”

-Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle of South Dakota

World AIDS Day

President’s Day was originally intended to celebrate George Washington’s birthday in 1796, which was the last full year of his presidency. It was declared that President’s Day would be celebrated annually on February 22nd, which is Washington’s birthday. However, legislation was enacted, affecting several federal holidays, including Washington’s Birthday. As of 1971, Washington’s Birthday was being celebrated on the third Monday in February, whether it fell on the 22nd or not. According to Patriotism.org, this was “designed to simplify the yearly calendar of holidays and give federal employees some standard three-day weekends in the process.” Since Abraham Lincoln, another prominent president, was born on February 12th, Washington’s Birthday became commonly known as President’s Day, in honor of all great presidents. “We need to exphasize President’s Day more. All it is to me is an excuse to have furniture sales,” said senior VirgiLia Garland.

A new national holiday was added to the calendars st , is Do you is the National AIDS Trust’s World AIDS Day 2003

some time for World AIDS Day to become widely celebrated. “I’m not really sure what [World AIDS Day] is, but I think having a national day to let people be aware of AIDS is a good thing,” said sophomore William Baetz.

Did you know… A simple and fun President’s Day activity is to do rubbings of the face sides of coins by placing paper over the coin and rubbing it with a crayon.

February 2004

DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE

Did you know… According to www.worldaidsday.org, “Five people worldwide die of AIDS every minute of every day. HIV has hit every corner of the globe, infecting more than 42 million men, women and children, 5 million of them last year alone.”

The

Patriot

Volume 39, Number 4

Features

8

Valentine’s Day for typical student Dan Tims Comics Editor

lovelorn youths. Don’t you Þnd this character grotesquely violent, perhaps even leading young children to mimic such behavior by shooting arrows at their close friends?”

“Well, I think you’d have to be pretty stupid to do that in the Þrst place,” she replied.

“Ah.” Casually, I removed the Hawkwind 800 Series bow from my lap and slid it under my chair.

“Now, we’ve all heard the rumors that Valentine’s Day is some kind of crock, perpetrated by the greeting card and candy companies, inscribed on our souls from our infancy by smarmy romance cartoons and mp false emotion down siphoning the cash from hat are your thoughts?” en had a lot to say on this h to be perfectly honest ved just then and I was too to pay attention. When shed though I nodded eny and began dunking my eak into her glass of wine. couple of questions. Numhat would you say is the ntine’s Day date for you?” d you just dunk your my wine?” Carmen asked. to stay on the subject.

Do you believe that romance is really dead?”

“I’m actually starting to....”

This was obviously a touchy subject for her, because it was followed by an awkward sience during which she glared at me for about Þfteen minutes or so. Finally it was about time to go home.

It’s nearing February 14th again, and everybody knows what that means: the air outside is bitterly cold, some snow and frost cover the ground, the plants are all brown, dead and rotten, and seasonal depression is on the upswing.

And then, in the midst of this frigid month, here comes the one magical day when we all can celebrate the spirit of young love! How very Þtting. Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, and that for a very special inves the “heart” of this holida My editors pe mended that for this repo sider opinion on the day, namely “one that isn’t I Þgured in the true spirit of holiday, I would get th female perspective from some special lady who I would ac tually “ask out” on of those recreational adventures that the up on nowadays, so I won’t use my date’s actual name out of respect for her privacy, but instead apply a randomly generated pseudonym.

I picked up Carmen Electra at approximately 7:25 PM. I had the evening all planned out, in accordance to the Valentine’s Day traditions: movie, dinner, and perhaps a romantic round of Dance Dance Revolution.

As we made our way to the car, just to show her what a fun guy I am, I shoved her to the ground, screamed “You’re it!” and ran for it. It’s good to be spontaneous with your date, though she didn’t even try to tag me back. NeedErin O’Brien less to say, I was very disappointed.

News co Editor During the car ride to our restaurant, I decided to get down to some of the Just like our buddies in the beverage serious questions I would toss out at Ms. industry, we at the Patriot have been Electra over the course of inspired to salute the small heros the evening. Above all, what here at JC. These hard working individuals never receive the credit I wanted to know was what that they deserve. As a responsible exactly the average woman publication we have taken it upon thought about Valentine’s Day. ourselves to correct this oversight.

“So, Carmen,” I began, (any resemblance to any true heros is “This whole Valentine’s Day thing. completely unintentional) What’s your favorite aspect of it?”

“I’m not quite sure,” She replied, John Carroll presents: Real Patri“I guess I like it when I get nice things, ots of Genius. Today we salute like ßowers and candy, from people.” you, Mrs. Conversation Hallway She looked at me somewhat expectantly.

Blocker. Just as Pink Floyd once “That sounds good. Did you said “We don’t need no education,” buy me any candy?” I asked, hopefully. you go beyond the boundaries of typical student hood. No, you are “Uhmm… no.” not just “another brick in the wall,” I admit I couldn’t completely mask you are the wall. You know how my disappointment, but by that time,we to turn the mad rush to class into had arrived at the restaurant. As Carmen a static huddled mass of students and I walked in, I noticed sevtrapped and yearning to be free. eral guys holding the door open Certainly, you are the Berlin Wall or their dates and girlfriends. and they are the East Germans.

What jerks, I Yes my friend, you are a rock, you thought! It’s much more reare an island. After all, you have spectful of women’s empowerment this mod off and Cindy Jane wants to make them open their own door. to tell you a secret. These things just can’t wait for the cafeteria.

I decided to share my insight with But when you eventually get there, Carmen, quickly shutting the door behind crack open a cold one... a cold me just so she could open it herself. I gave Dr. Pepper that is. Because Mrs. her a knowing wink as she walked in, Conversation Hallway Blocker, you which she returned with a knowing glare. show us the way… and then stand As we sat down at the table the in it. waiter took our drink orders. I knew it was time to get down to the real “meat John Carroll presents: Real Patriand potatoes” of our date. After I ordered ots of Genius. Today we salute the meat with a side of potatoes, I also you, Mr. Stupid Question Asker. decided to ask some more questions.

Just like Socrates and Aristotle, you have the guts to ask the “Carmen, as we‘ve all been led important questions, the same to believe, the mascot of Valentine’s Day inquiries that everyone else is is some character called ‘Cupid,’ a creasimply too afraid to ask, such as: ture who shoots arrows into the hearts of

As I pulled up to her house I Þnished evening by expressing my appreciation.

“Well, Carmen, I’d like to thank you for a lovely evening, and for your honest answers.”

Now, with our night of magic nearly over, I membered that there was one more old-time dating ritual Carmen Electra and I hadn’t yet tried out. This was, of course, the goodnight kiss, or as I like to call it, the “mutual perpendicular dry heave.”

I had never actually performed the MPDH before, but I was fairly conÞdent, as I’d seen it done in several movies and once in Final Fantasy 7. Copying my technique from one of the movies, I switched on the radio (cascading over our starcrossed forms the dulcet tones of that If You Like Pina Coladass song) and leaned in.

“Do you take karate?”

I began. “Because your body’s so--” “I don’t like violent sports.” Carmen said. “Bye.” “-kickin’!” I Þnished weakly. We both sort of stared at each other for a few seconds.

At this point Carmen obviously remembered something that she had to do, as she exited the car fairly rapidly. As she started sprinting across her lawn, I leaned out and asked if I could have her phone number so that we could go out again sometime.

Unfortunately, Carmen did not have a pen with which to write down her number. But no worries, she told not to call her…she’d call me! Yes, folks, I think I am, as they say, “in.” Love is in the air!

Happy Valentine’s Day. the

Presenting “Real Patriots of Genius”

Volume 39, Number 4

The

What is water? Is Iraq a part of Germany? and Do Indians really exist? So next time you are at a restaurant, wave that arm high up in the air and ask for a cold one... a cold Mountain Dew, that is. Because Mr. Stupid Question Asker, just by your presence we are all made just a little smarter-or at least we feel like it.

John Carroll presents: Real Patriots of Genius. Today we salute you, Mr. Constant Constructive Criticizer. Yes, you know that teenagers these days suffer from self esteem issues-- that is, they have too much of it. Without you, who would point out that our English is horrible or that we have a slight stutter? You have taught the artful skill of inserting “please” into sentences where it just doesn’t Þt. Thanks to you we now know that simple statements such as, “I have a question,” can (and should) be craftily supplemented with that age-old word of petition-- even though we’re not petitioning anything. You have taught us quickness of tongue, and that even if we intend to say that magical word, we need to say it at an unnecessarily early point in our conversation. Yes Mr. Constant Constructive Criticizer, thank you for interrupting us every two seconds with a new (or not so new) self-improvement suggestion. So next time you’re helping the refrigerator realize its aesthetic shortcomings- reach inside it and grab a cold one… a cold lemonade that is. Pucker up Mr. Constant Constructive Criticizer, because you are the most sour person we know.

Patriot

John Carroll presents: Real Patriots of Genius. Today we salute you, Mrs. Loud Librarian Talker. When someone brings in an overdue book, you have the guts to say “That’s two pennies, buddy.” Your hard core “Shush!” keeps us all in line so that we don’t disturb the conversation that you are screaming to your book savvy co-literature protectorate in the back room. You can skillfully utilize empty threats of detention to silence the masses.

You are always on the top of your game, making sure that everyone in the room is hard at work. Without you nobody would have a Lord of the Rings bookmark. So today instead of cracking open the binding of a brand new book, crack open a cold one... a cold Sprite, that is.

Because your life is truly one for the books- literally.

John Carroll presents: Real Patriots of Genius. Today we salute you, Mr. UnofÞcial Crosswalk Manager. Your multicolored glove system puts some variety into our otherwise black and white existence. Each morning we wonder… what color will it be today? On days when it is pouring rain we feel privileged standing next to you in all your glory as you keep us from crossing the street, allowing all of the crazy parents to drive in front of us while we get drenched. Yes, you are like a crazy weatherman who braves all elements—you stand out there in the rain, the wind, and the cold… but not the really cold.

While we’re on the subject, why don’t you crack open a cold one... a cold Pepsi One, that is. Yes, Mr. UnofÞcial Crosswalk Manager, you are a hero, because these days the world is uncertain and people just don’t use their turn signals.

February 2004

Features

9

Aliens invade JC through Pacificus staff Erin O’Brien News co Editor In a world that is both innately good and innately evil we oftentimes Þnd archetypes of the two extremes eternally locked in epic battles. For instance: Luke Skywalker verses Darth Vader, The Ninja Turtles versus Shreder, Samear Nainanajar verses the copy machine, and Þnally The Patriot verses The PaciÞcus.

Comparatively, The Patriot staff is like a box of crayons: creative, colorful, and…uh, that’s it, creative and colorful.

The PaciÞcus staff, however, is a different breed of art medium all together. They are that icky brown color of paint that is obtained through mixing all of the colors into one blob of grossness.

Being on The Patriot is a noble undertaking that requires skill and integrity. We set out to change the world one breathtaking issue at a time. We are very similar to Clark Kent... in our spare time we wear our underwear outside of our clothes, while ßying around Bel Air saving everyday citizens from the evil that lurks around every corner. Oh yeah, and we're journalists.

Being on The PaciÞcus is a red ßag that you are an alien who is attempting to take over the world. The PaciÞcus staff has been spying on you. Yes, that is correct. The PaciÞcus staff is a bunch of aliens who are attempting to brainwash the entire school so that they can eventually

photo by MaryBeth Derbyshire

overpower us and eat our brains as cereal.

Being an everyday student at JC, these allegations may seem absurd to you. However, upon venturing down to the Þne arts wing the reality of this claim will become evident. The following are the straight facts, the low down, and the FYI regarding the PaciÞcus Alien Theory (PAT).

An average teenager’s living space is reminiscent of the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki immediately after the dropping of the A-bombs (this is where the popular parental saying, “this room looks like a bomb blew up in it,”

originated). The condition of The Patriot room follows this pattern of destruction; there are papers, books, and food scattered all over the place. On the ßoor is black tar of an unknown origin. Although I may have become accustomed to the stench, it smells pretty rank in there as well.

However, walk into the yearbook room (a.k.a. headquarters for alien conspiracy) and you will immediately notice something strange and unnatural.

This room shines like the top of the Chrysler Building. The yearbook staff has kidnapped the little orphans from Annie and forced them to do their bidding. They

Sword recovery just coincidence?

Sam Marll Staff Writer January 12, 2004 was a good day for both Navy sword enthusiasts and senior members of The Knights of Columbus. On this day, special agents of the FBI returned a priceless Civil War-era U.S. Navy sword that had been missing from the Naval Academy’s Memorial Hall for 73 years to the Naval Academy Museum.

In March 1931, a sword given to Captain Worden of the USS Monitor by the state of New York in 1865 vanished mysteriously from the Academy Hall, meaning that it either was stolen from its display case, or as most experts assumed, jumped up and ran away on its own.

The Navy sword is described as one of the Þnest U.S. presentation pieces in existence, featuring the Roman god of the sea Neptune on the hilt, with a gold-plated scabbard, gold embroidered belt and gold plated belt buckle.

Crafted by Tiffany’s, it was not considered to be a standard Navy issue sword. It commemorated the Þrst-ever engagement between two ironclad ships, where the USS Monitor battled the CSS Virginia off the coast of Norfolk, Virginia.

FBI agents recovered the sword while investigating corrupt appraisers in the most wretched hive of scum and villainy, otherwise known as Antique Roadshow.

“This is a very exciting day,” said J. Scott Harmon, the director of the Academy Museum.

In an eerie parallel, one JC’s own teachers experienced an almost identical incident. Mr. Gaudreau of the Fine Arts department checked his mail on the SAME DAY to Þnd a large package addressed to him.

“Out of the blue, I get this package with no name,” he recalled.

February 2004

Opening it, he was surprised to Þnd that someone had returned his grandfather’s eighty-year-old Knights of Columbus ceremonial sword, missing since 1976.

In the Knights of Columbus, a ceremonial sword accompanies all senior members. As part of the uniform, it presides at funerals and other ofÞcial functions. Lurien Gaudreau received it for earning the rank of Fourth Degree Knight.

The Fourth Degree sword, featuring the image of Columbus on the hilt, is meant to symbolize the “Fourth Virtue” of patriotism.

It also represents the bearer’s “reverence for the Eucharist and the Pope, bishops and hierarchy of the Church, and displays publicly his willingness to protect his Church and priests,” according to the ofÞcial Knights of Columbus doctrine.

Fourth Degree Knights are the most recognizable symbols of the Knights, along with their ceremonial regalia.

Mr. Gaudreau last saw the ceremonial sword in 1976. After moving to a new home, it “never really dawned on me that it was gone,” he explained.

However, on January 12, he opened the FedEx pack-

The

age to Þnd his grandfather’s sword, in the exact same condition as he last saw it almost thirty years ago.

No clues were left as to who the mysterious benefactor was, and Mr. Gaudreau had had no indication of the sword’s recovery prior to receiving the package.

The only hint of any identiÞcation entailed a Cockeysville stamp on the outside of the box.

Could there be a connection between the theft of the Navy sword and the return of Mr. Gaudreau’s family heirloom?

have told the orphans that if they clean the room for them, the staff will allow them to witness Mr. Shupe eating a large bowl of spaghetti (actually the brains of former teacher Mrs. Sugarman).

If that alone is not enough to prove the PAT I don’t know what is. Just yesterday I was walking down the hallway on my way to Mr. Paaby’s English class when out of the corner of my eye I saw Mr. Shupe. Or should I say an alien with a Mr. Shupe mask on?

Following quickly behind him in a perfectly formed alien line was the rest of the staff including Julianna Novak, Megan Hofherr, and Caitlin Little (all aliens as well.) I knew this meant trouble, and I knew that they knew I knew. Turning around I saw Hoffher’s eyes glowing red as she communicated with Little in cryptic alien tongue, “Ze offa me talla haal shesta.” Roughly translated into high school vernacular this meant, “That was whack fo’ sheezy, she is wastin’ my ßava.”

Well maybe it didn’t mean that, I really don’t speak high school vernacular well.

Luckily, there is a way to avoid the Reign of Terror that the yearbook staff plans to bestow upon JC. The Patriot staff has undertaken many small top secret operations into the yearbook room during which we did our best to sabotage their plans for global domination (we steal their stuff). Unfortunately for The Patriot, The PaciÞcus staff knows that we know that they are aliens.

For our heroic efforts to save the school from alien takeover (without stabbing them with drugs like in The Faculty) we in The Patriot are the unsung heroes of the school who have gone to great lengths to protect you all from their alien biddings. As a matter of fact, I think we deserve a thank you...make your checks out to Erin O’Brien.

The world may never know.

1 Month in HT 42: $49 1 Month in HT 54: $99 1 Month in HT 60: $125

Patriot

Volume 39, Number 4

Features

10

February celebrates black history Laurie Krysiak Features co Editor February is a month full of special holidays. Everyone waits for a groundhog to see its shadow on the 2nd. The 14th is the day for love and couples. There is even a day for remembering all the presidents.

However, this entire month has a special meaning itself-- to bring African American history to the foreground and give it the honor and pride it had been denied for so long. February is nationally know as Black History month.

Black History month has been recognized annually since 1926, when it actually only lasted a week, but was later extended to the entire month of February.

The idea came from Dr. Carter G. Woodson, who was bothered by the absence of inßuential blacks and slaves in history books.

Woodson founded the Association for the Study of African American Life and History, now known as the ASALH, and began an annual event that was known as “Negro Week.” Woodson gave this title to the second week of February because it contained the birthdays of Fred-

Civil leaders remembered erick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln, who were active in the civil rights movement.

Throughout the years, several other signiÞcant historic events occurred in the month of February. The 15th Amendment was passed in 1890 allowing black people to exercise the right to vote.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, also known as the NAACP, was founded in February of 1909. In Febraury of 1965, Malcolm X, the leader of the black militarism movement, was shot to death. These events each called attention to the black community, and it’s importance in history and current society.

Following these events, the remembrance of black history, especially that of the slaves, received increasing levels of national attention. During this month parades and rallies are held in Washington, D.C. and in other major countries around the world to remember the major players in the civil rights movement, including such persons as

Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks.

Rosa Parks was one of the most inßuential women in the civil rights movement. In December of 1955, Parks became known as the women who refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white man. Her arrest and trial led to the Supreme Court ruling in November of 1956 that segregation on vehicles of transportation is illegal.

Martin Luther King Jr. was probably the most inßuential person in the south in the sixties during the movement.

His numerous boycotts, rallies, and his eventual assassination in 1968 brought attention to the needs of the African American population and helped them achieve equal rights, even though they were not these rights were not set into motion until after his death. King has had his birthday in January dedicated to him, but he and his accomplishments are most actively celebrated during Black History month.

Today, there are still people actively Þghting for and representing African American rights, such as the current United

States Secretary of State Colin Powell. He is the Þrst black man to hold a high ofÞce in the United States Government. He is living proof that the actions of civil leaders such as King did make a difference in how America treated people of different races.

Because of these people, African Americans are now able to do whatever they want in the country that can now call itself the land of the free. These individuals have made their mark on everything from major league sports and music to big screen movies and television. They hold all time records in their positions and vocations and are Þnally recognized for them, after the years of their accomplishments being ignored and tossed aside by their country.

Aside from remembering the big names in black history, this month is also for remembering the slaves that suffered for decades in this country.These people are the reason that people fought so hard for their rights. It is for recognizing what these people went through and showing that their suffering was not in vain: it helped their descendants gain the rights, respect, equality they have worked so hard for and deserve.

pictures from www.google.com above: Martin Luther King Jr. left to right: Malcolm X; collage of accomplished African Americans; Secretary of State Colin Powell

Volume 39, Number 4

The

Patriot

February 2004

11 Entertainment Shark sighting: when good shows go bad Britt Cramer Features co Editor

Boy Meets World Back when we were in elementary and middle school, back when TGIF was funny (I know it‛s hard...try to remember), Boy Meets World was the show that everybody was addicted to. The show forced us to look at the big questions of life: Are Cory and Topanga meant to be?

Can Shawn ever feel loved with his dad on the road? How does Mr. Feeny teach grades 4-12? What exactly is wrong with Eric? Despite the humorous antics and life lessons learned on Boy Meets World, we sighted blood in the water right around the time that Topanga started to... well let‛s just say that she developed a healthy appetite. Soon afterwards, the show went from bad to worse with the advent of the college years, the introduction of Shawn‛s long-lost brother, and new love interests Angela and Rachel, who were both really annoying. Boy Meets World Þnally jumped the shark with Cory and Topanga‛s anticipated and incredibly sappy wedding. The honeymoon for the show was short following the event; Boy Meets World was canceled in 2000.

February 2004

www.paper-flower.com

Saved by the Bell

Gilmore Girls

Don‛t even try to deny it; we all loved that show. Sure it was awful.

Slater had one of the worst curly mullets in the history of mankind, Jessie was an annoying know-it-all, Screech never hit puberty and had a voice that could shatter glass, Lisa barely stopped talking long enough to breathe, and the Zack and Kelly saga never seemed to end. B u t still, who didn‛t tune in every morning to see what was new at Bayside High? Despite the built-in cheesiness factor, Saved by the Bell avoided the shark through numerous seasons, and even successfully made the difÞcult switch from the middle school years to the high school years. Trouble started brewing early in the group‛s junior year with the emergence of “The Zack Attack,” a band that played weak, badly lip-synced pop songs. As if this wasn‛t bad enough, Saved by the Bell continued to hurdle itself over the shark with Saved by the Bell: Malibu Sands and Saved by the Bell: The College Years, both of which were failing attempts to change the environment of the show. Although the Saved by the Bell crew might have crooned about being friends forever, the show was forced to face the music in 1994.

Rory and Lorelai, Luke, Lane, Dean, Jess... With its quick witty banter and quaint, but likable, small-town characters, Gilmore Girls quickly became one of the most popular shows on television when it aired in 2000. The Þrst two seasons were great as far shows go on the WB. They were usually pretty funny and sometimes left you with a feel-good, isn‛t-lifewonderful aura without being completely corny.

The show even survived the disapearance of one of its most alluring characters- Rory‛s classmate Tristan who always had a “silent attraction” to her. The viewers were able to stand the fact that seemingly every male speciman was head over heels for Rory. So we had to ask ourselves how did things went so wrong so quickly. The Þn was Þrst sighted when Rory began to make college preparations and get all stressed out about her pick– Yale or Harvard? Harvard or Yale? Oh woe is me! For a while it looked as if the show might recover from this boring sub-plot, but then along came graduation. If Rory‛s tearful goodbye to Chilton Preparatory School was not enough to propel the show over the shark, then her freshman year at Yale has been more than sufÞcient. The move to Yale has distanced Rory from her friends and family, dividing the show and making it choppy.

Although recovery seems as if it may be possible, it looks as though Gilmore Girls is going the way of Happy Days.

www.homepage/.nifty.com

I‛m not a hardcore TV junkie but I‛ve seen more than one of my favorite shows deteriorate into just another bad sitcom, watchable ONLY if there is absolutely nothing else on the tube. I‛ve gone through the agony that almost every television viewer has experienced– that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know that a program has run its course and that soon you‛ll be channel surÞng to Þnd a replacement.

But now I know that I am not alone. In fact, there is an entire book on the subject that details this very tragedy. Written by Jon Hein, Jumping the Shark: When Good TV Goes Badnamed for the infamous episode of Happy Days when Fonzi literally jet-skis over a shark– pinpoints the downfall of many a TV program. “Jumping the shark” occurs when writers and producers throw caution (and storylines) to the wind in a last-ditch effort to improve ratings for a failing TV show. As Hein writes, “It‛s a moment. A deÞning moment when you know that your favorite television program has reached its peak. That instant that you know from now on...it‛s all downhill.... From that moment on, the program will simply never be the same.”

The book is an easy read, and very quick to spot the shark in TV shows ranging from Roseanne (cue Jaws when the Conner family wins the lottery) to Scooby-Doo (cause of death: ScrappyDoo). Still, there are a number of shows that the book never addresses that deÞnitely have rented jet-skis in the notso-distant-past. Here are just a few:

The

Patriot

Volume 39, Number 4

Entertainment

12

Ski trip conquers Killington curse Katie Burton Entertainment co-Editor

was wrong, dead wrong.

Almost everyone’s goggles had fogged and frozen by the time they reached the end of the lift. If they took the goggles off, those outside risked frostbite, but with them on, they could barely see anything.

These goggles were very similar to the “drunk goggles” that we all played with at the JC drug and alcohol assemblies... snowboarding and skiing was actually really dangerous.

Staring down the mountain in our own distorted winter wonderland, we decided to race down as fast as we could to get back to the lodge. Once there, we were told not to leave. The teachers said that we would receive a refund, but the money would go towards bowling that evening and dinner the next night. This led to a lot of upset students, who didn’t understand how bowling and dinner could cost as much as skiing. I guess they did not realize we were not getting a complete refund since we had already been at the resort for a while.

A lot of the students groaned at the idea of having to go bowling.

However, to their surprise, a lot of them enjoyed this competitive activity. Seniors Amanda Breedlove and Nina Panageotou even named their dynamic duo team, calling themselves the Mercy Magic’s.

With a name like that, they had to have been unstoppable.

In addition to bowling, we found other ways to amuse ourselves when not on the slopes. Card tournaments were quickly formed and often became quite intense.

Also, girls showed some of the boys with curly hair the joys of a straightening iron.

Junior Dustin Lynch even introduced a game he called “King of the Bed.” One of the most beloved activities though was wrestling with “Uncle” Bob Peck.

Mr. Peck, father of senior Stephanie Peck, seemed to be the target of every snowball and every push into the pool, but he often instigated it himself. He and senior Chris Porter created their own WWF wrestling ring in the middle of the ski lodge.

After a rowdy and late night, the wakeup call the next morning seemed to ring just as we had fallen asleep.

B u t maybe that was also because each day they woke us up a little earlier.

Saturday was gorgeous and perfect skiing weather. It would have been absolutely perfect had Amanda Breedlove and I not learned Þrsthand why only experienced skiers go down double black diamond courses as we tackled one by racing down

The

hallway. on our behinds.

Although it went off to a rocky

By Sunday, many of us were ready to get home, if for nothing else to start, the ski trip ended up being really see the snowfall that we had heard rumors enjoyable. As senior Kevin Anderson said, about. This bus ride was much quieter due “The trip was a fun and much needed break to complete exhaustion. Also, we didn’t from school, although the weather often receive our dose of Emilio on the way refused to cooperate.” back. We had to settle for the wits of Leo DiCaprio in Catch Me if You Can. After the endless drive, it seemed like such a relief to creep around the JC oval in the slow-moving bus that reßected our sluggish moods. As I pathetically tried to scrape the snow and ice off my car windshield, I thought about all the stupid things we did on the trip: how senior Lauren Volpe, or “Rambo” as we liked to call her, broke the handle to our door at the Holiday Inn, putting us at the mercy of those who would let us out from the other side, how we would all randomly sing the “Holiday Inn” song, and how photo by Katie Burton we thought it would be a good idea to Senior girls straighten Randy Boyle’s hair to entertain have races down the themselves during free time.

T S FA

S

Volume 39, Number 4

courtesy of Killington staff

FACT

Since the word “disastrous” has become synonymous with last year’s JC ski trip, I was a little skeptical about this year’s endeavor. After all, we had an eight-hour bus ride to contemplate all the possibilities. On the way to Vermont we wondered what the hotel would be like, how the food would be, if someone would get shot.

However, there were stellar movies playing on the bus to calm these fears. No one builds hope quite like Emilio Estevez in The Mighty Ducks. By the time we had arrived, our worries about our lodgings were completely alleviated.

Armed with hope and anticipation, we entered what seemed like The Ritz as compared to last year’s hotel… The Holiday Inn. After staying at The Ramada Inn (or was it The Regency?) - the details are still a little fuzzy- The Holiday Inn was illuminated with royal grandeur in our eyes. We were not scared to walk down the hallway to the main desk by ourselves, and we actually ate the food they provided.

Everything seemed to be in our favor as we drifted into a peaceful slumber that evening.

The Þrst morning wakeup call came at around 7:00 am, which was pretty reasonable. Most people had gotten a sufÞcient amount of sleep on the bus, so they were pretty much raring to go. We all ate breakfast really quickly so we could hurry up and get out on the slopes. But to our dismay, Mrs. Dombrock announced that we wouldn’t be leaving until around 8: 30-8:45.

We had to wait this extra time for the temperature to rise. We knew it was a bad sign if we weren’t allowed out skiing at all. We put on some extra layers and then tried to shut out the notion of entering into the arctic. See, we were still on our Emilio Estevez high, after all ducks ßy together….we Þgured that we were all in this together, so we would be Þne (quack quack quack).

When we Þnally arrived at Killington, the weather was pretty bitter, but we didn’t think it would be all that bad once we started skiing and were active.

Some rushed out to the slopes as fast as they could to get as much ski and snowboard time in as possible, but others who had taken their time with rentals and putting on all their layers, were forced to stay indoors.

The wind chill (-75 degrees Fahrenheit) was so horrendous that they were not allowed to leave the lodge.

T h o s e conÞned to this snowsurrounded prison thought they were getting the short end of the deal.

After all, this was supposed to be the SKI TRIP. However, they had no knowledge of just how awful it was outside. The ski lift seemed endless as the winds were attacking us from all sides. The clerk who had sold us our snow goggles had assured us they would provide ample protection; he

Number of Trails: 200

~59 Beginner ~78 Intermediate ~63 Advanced

Number of Lifts: 31 ~2 Gondolas ~12 Quad ~6 Triple ~4 Double ~7 Surface

Season: Early November-June Vertical Drop: 3,050 feet Summit Elevation: 4,241 feet Base Elevation: 1,065 feet

Patriot

Skiable Acres: 1,182 Miles of Trails: 87 Average Annual Snowfall: 250 inches

Snowmaking: 70% Snowboarding: Yes Terrain Parks: 4 Glades: 3 Superpipe ¼ Pipe Mini-Pipe

Snow Tubing: Yes

www.killington.com

February 2004

Entertainment

13

Oops, Britney did it again in Vegas You can do lots of things in 55 hours. You can write an 8-page U.S. History research synthesis, go on a shopping spree at Divah (or wherever you crazy kids shop nowadays), or maybe watch half of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King in less than 55 hours. You can also go to Vegas, decide to get married to one of your hometown friends on a whim while completely sober, then get an annulment afterwards in under 55 hours.

Y e t again, Miss Britney Spears has deÞed experts who said it was scientifically impossible for her to degrade herself any further, pulling off another blindingly s t u p i d , irresponsible stunt that all the major news corporations will delight in squandering precious air time over, as they shove this down our throats for the next month and a half.

On January 5th, Britney Spears married Jason Alexander, a childhood friend, after deciding to "do something wild, crazy." At 5:30am on a Saturday morning, the two wild crazies impulsively tied the knot at the scenic Little White Wedding Chapel. As they did, Spears was decked out in an absolutely striking outÞt consisting of torn jeans and a baseball cap.

Fortunately, Spears came to her senses and decided to annul this incredibly

well thought out marriage. By annulling the marriage instead of divorcing, Spears can remain as pure and wholesome as she was beforehand. "That was fast," said attorney Brian Steinberg of the entire ordeal.

Mercifully, the media has almost already forgotten the whole thing, the same way it forgot the new "governor" of California and the lawsuits against the major fast-food chains. It’s good that the media is already looking for the next big celebrity scandal, because if this were kept up much longer, Britney Spears’ image would be slightly tarnished.

As everyone knows, Britney Spears has always had a ßawless i m a g e .

Except for the time she was caught smoking on a balcony, yet supported the youth a n t i smoking movement.

Oh, and let’s not forget when she admitted to having sexual relations with Justin Timberlake but was part of the pro-chastity movement.

However, there was one upside to the media’s coverage of all this. As everyone knows, Las Vegas is the moral center of the universe. Nothing bad has ever happened there. Ever. This was the Þrst time in this quaint little hamlet’s history of two young, idiotic people getting married on a whim, so the media should focus on this milestone event. The rest of humanity has never done anything stupid.

Ever. www.cnn.com

Sam Marll Staff Writer

Albom takes readers to Heaven Cati Horn Archives Editor I read all the time. For school, for fun, or just to fall asleep at night. I read everything from Harry Potter and Stephen King to Ernest Hemingway and Mary Shelly. I try to get a taste for every different type of literature from Janet Evanovich’s funny perky stories about a female bounty hunter to In Harm’s Way, a devastating story of Þghting for survival.

When I was given the assignment to read a book and review it, I immediately went to The New York Times Best Seller List. While looking over the list I came upon Mitch Albom’s new book The Five People You Meet in Heaven. As many of you remember, the school had to read his Þrst book, Tuesdays with Morrie, over the summer, in order to have school wide discussions.

The topic of The Five People You Meet in Heaven is death and the journey to heaven. Albom’s view of this is almost naïve, yet touching at the same time.

The book begins at the end. The story belongs to a Þctional character named Eddie. Eddie works at the Ruby Pier where he is more commonly known as Eddie Maintenance to adults and children alike.

Eddie is an eighty-three year-old man with a bum knee and a complicated past.

Eddie is doing his daily check on all the park’s equipment, when a terrible unforeseen accident occurs, and he sacriÞces his life in the attempt to save a young girl from a horriÞc death. Eddie’s journey does not end with his death; rather, it is just beginning. Ironically though, the Þrst chapter of the book is titled “The End.” As the book states, “It might seem strange to start a story with an ending.

But all endings are also beginnings.”

His journey through heaven introduces him to characters of his past- some he knew, others he had never met- yet all of their lives had been tightly intertwined with his own.

Although the plot is not straightforward, it is easy to understand.

The story jumps back and forth from the

www.images-jp.amazon.com

countdown of Eddie’s death to ßashbacks of his past birthdays. The ßashbacks continue throughout the book as Eddie is introduced to each new character in heaven. Each new character introduces a new viewpoint into his narrow perspective of life, as Eddie comes to realize that every life greatly impacts every other life whether we see it in this world or the next.

Albom has struck gold with Þction. I like Tuesdays with Morrie, but I feel as though many things could have been changed to make the story more interesting. This book amazed me; I could see the book playing out in front of me like a movie. Unlike Tuesdays With Morrie, I can hear the characters and see the expressions on their faces with this book. I became so immersed in the story I was amazed that this view had never been explored before.

I was unable to put this book down until I had reached the end. The Five People You Meet in Heaven is one of those stories that read quickly because of their interesting plot. It only took me an hour to read it, but as soon as I had Þnished, I was tempted to pick it up and start over again to see the picture as a whole. I would challenge anyone to read this book and not rethink his/her views on the spiritual aspect of death and dying.

My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé lives up to its name Sarah Jones Entertainment co Editor

For most women, their wedding day is the most anticipated day of their life. However, for the sake of reality television and our entertainment, one woman has let this precious event become a nightmare. Once again reality television rang in the New Year with new shows. One of the most talked about and anticipated is the biggest practical joke on television, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé.

On January 19, 2004 FOX network had its new reality show, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé debut. In the Þrst episode, viewers were introduced to the bride-to-be, Randi. Randi is a twenty three year old Þrst grade teacher from Scottsdale, Arizona. In order for her to win one million dollars, she must convince her family and friends that she met the man of her dreams, Steve, on a reality show and that they are engaged and are going to wed on national television.

Along with convincing her family and friends, Randi must also make

February 2004

it through the wedding ceremony in order to win the million. Sounds too easy, doesn’t it? Wrong. Randi’s Þancé is far from the man that her family and friends would ever expect her to marry.

Randi came into the show, not knowing what was expected of her. She knew she was going to be on a reality show, but did not know what the plot would be.

The wedding part was a complete surprise to her and a challenge she was not expecting.

The twist is that Randi does not know that her big fat obnoxious Þancé, Steve, is actually a professional actor.

Steve was hired to be an obnoxious Þancé that would drive Randi crazy. The members of his television family are also professional actors that are just as obnoxious. When Randi meets Steve’s family, she soon realizes why Steve is the way he is. Steve’s family is very open and always has something to say, regardless of the time or the place. When Randi meets Steve’s

The

family they get in the hot tub and Steve’s father takes his swimming suit off.

Not what Randi expected on the Þrst night of meeting her Þancé’s parents.

Steve also has Randi fooled by making her believe that he actually has feelings for her. Randi has no feelings for Steve at all.

She feels that he actually has feelings for her as time goes on, but he has her fooled.

Since Randi knows that she will have trouble convincing her family that Steve is the one, he undergoes a make over. Steve gets his haircut, a new wardrobe, and his back waxed all in hopes that he will be more presentable to her parents.

Another twist to the show is that

Patriot

Randi’s family has the chance to make some money. Randi’s parents do not know that if she does make down the aisle to marry Steve then her family will also win money.

During the course of six episodes the couple will meet with a wedding planner, be introduced to each other’s friends and families, have a bridal shower, a rehearsal dinner, and Þnally the walk down the aisle.

Will Randi be able to make it down the aisle and win the million, or will her family stop her and ruin the chance of a lifetime? Stay tuned and continue watching My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé, which is on Monday nights at nine o’clock on the FOX network.

Volume 39, Number 4

Sports UM Terrapins terrorize WVU Mountaineers 14

A Gator Bowl experience by Sports co Editor Rose DiPaula

photo by Rose DiPaula

I am a Terps fan, born and raised. fans were at the pep rally, as some were a Þfteen-minute Þreworks display that the National Anthem, which concluded It’s in my blood. Since before I can remem- saving parade seats. We did Þnd room, concluded with both teams’ Þght songs with a ßy-by of four F-14 Tomcats. ber, my entire family has been obsessed, and sandwiched in-between blue and gold. that were played to ring in the New Year.

Maryland was the Þrst to score I mean obsessed, with this team. We love with a 26-yard Þeld goal by junior kicker We woke up early the next The parade included appearances anything or anyone connected to the Terps. from Private Jessica Lynch and Miss Florida. morning to attend the festivities. We Nick Novak. At the end of the Þrst quarter We always watched the Terps Then, the Maryland marching went to the ofÞcial Tailgate Party that Terps quarterback Scott McBrien completgames, and when I was six, we bought band and cheerleaders came marching included live music, interactive football ed a pass to senior Jafar Williams for a 31our Þrst set of Men’s basketball season down the street, playing the school Þght games, buffets, and souvenir stands. yard touchdown, making the score 10-0. tickets. This is back in the days when the song, one of the best songs in the world A little over a minute into the Next, we decided to head into the Terps were not that great, back in the days in my personal opinion. They happened to stadium to Þnd our seats and enjoy the pre- second quarter, senior wide receiver Steve of Johnny Rhodes, Swane Simpkins, and stop and dance right in front of us, and we, game festivities. When we arrived at our Suter ran back a punt for a 76- yard touchExree Hipp. Tickets were easy to come by, being the only Terps down, with the score and the true fans hung around. In recent fans around were 17-0. With eight minyears, we have invested in football tickets. moving and groovutes left in the quarter, Over the past few years, as the bas- ing, by ourselves.

McBrien completed ketball and football teams have improved, The West Virginia another pass to Wilwe have taken to traveling to watch the fans looked at us liams for a 22-yard Terps play in bowl games and post-season with hatred and touchdown. The Terps play. We have driven to the Meadowlands anger in their eyes. led at halftime, 24-0. and Atlanta and ßown to Miami and MinneThe halftime After the apolis for some the Terps’ biggest acheive- parade, we returned show included a perments. I was one of the “chosen ones” in to the pep rally site formance by 2,000 my family that was lucky enough to go for the Terps’ pep Jacksonville dancers the Final Four and championship games rally. The place and the Southern band, in Atlanta in 2002. I must say, witnessing was already Þlled The Medallions. There this event was deÞnitely one of the coolest with college stuwas a beach theme, things I have ever seen, or will ever see. dents and fans, but which included many Most recently, we packed up and we found room.

Beach Boys’ hits. went to Jacksonville, Florida, for the Toyota Fans A little more entertained Gator Bowl on New Year’s Day, along with themselves than six minutes into with the Leeb family, including junior Laura chants such as, the third quarter, the Leeb and her brother freshman Ryan. My “In-bred rednecks,” Terps scored yet again family drove to Jacksonville, yes, drove, a and “34-7,” the Freshmen Ryan Leeb and Regina DiPaula, along with juniors Rose DiPaula with a 2-yard rush by thirteen-hour drive, with Terps ßags and score of the Mary- and Laura Leeb, take in the sight of the “sea of red” that took control over Alltell McBrien, with the Stadium in Jacksonville. stickers adorning the car. Each time we land – West Virscore now 31-0. saw a fellow Terps’ car, of course we would ginia game earlier in the season, in which seats we found that about three quarters A minute and a half later, West Virhonk and wave. It’s a type of brotherhood. Maryland crushed the Mountaineers. of the stadium were colored gold. Before ginia Þnally scored on a 15-yard touchdown When we arrived at the city early Once the pep rally began, the cheerlead- the game, both school bands performed by Rasheed Marshall. With only a 1:25 on New Year’s Eve, we were shocked at ers and the band performed and the their own halftime sets, along with a per- left in the quarter, Novak kicked a 24-yard the masses of West Virginia fans. Gold and Þght song was played several times. formance of local Jacksonville dancers. Þeld goal to make the score, 34-7, the same Along with another appearance as it was in earlier in the year. blue had taken over the streets. To make The New Year’s party was at the matters worse, we had come at the same Jacksonville Landing, a hangout spot much by Private Jessica Lynch, Jacksonville By the end of the third quarter, senior Alexandria Demetree performed the entire West Virginia section of the exact time as the West Virginia pep rally.

20,000 Mountaineers stadium was empty, with fans lining up at were swarming the the exits. The sea of red had taken control streets of Jacksonville, With 6:42 left in the game, Mcalong with their band Brien threw another touchdown pass, this and cheerleaders. We time to sophomore Jo Jo Walker. The Terps were used to this and ended up crushing the Mountaineers, 41-7. took the mocking in As rowdy and as obnoxious stride, having been to as the WV fans were leading up to the the Final Four and put game, they were as gracious and as poup with Indiana fans. lite as could be afterwards, shocking We quietly and respectmost of us. As we left the stadium, we fully snuck through were congratulated by many of them. the crowd in search of When we arrived back at our hosome red and black. tel after celebrating all day, and watching The favored the FSU game, we found that we all had shirt of WVU fans turtle tan lines on our faces from our Terps seemed to be a shirt tattoos. We were branded with our logo. reading, “Beat UMD, I want to give the Mountaineers and the turtle they rode fans credit. Although their team was not in on!” I was quite favored to win at all, and even though relieved to Þnd a pack they had already been defeated by the of Terps fans wearTerrapins once, they still had an unusuing shirts that read, ally strong showing and passion for their “Beat WVU and the team. Although these fans were cocky and yee-haw hillbillies they arrogant at Þrst, they showed that losing brought with them!” The University of Maryland marching band performs the school’s victory and fight songs before kick- isn’t that bad, even if you do lose by a lot.

The WVU off. The band, along with the cheerleaders, also performed at the annual Gator Bowl parade and the The strong dislike I felt for West Virginia Terps pep rally the previous day. fans were incredibly those few days in Florida has subsided. arrogant. One stopped like the Inner Harbor. my sister from crossing the street and Once again, we Terps told her “to wait until the Mountaineers fans were a minority. were across the street,” while one stood Some joked that all of behind me and growled in my ear. We the Terps fans were at calmly kept our mouths shut until we the expensive, classy were surrounded by more Terps fans. New Year’s gala, We decided to Þnd seats for the while the West VirOfÞcial Gator Bowl parade in downtown ginia fans were havJacksonville, which was a challenge, due ing fun on the streets to the fact that we were outnumbered. and in the bars. At Apparently, not all of the Mountaineers’ midnight, there was photo by Rose DiPaula

Volume 39, Number 4

The

Patriot

February 2004

Sports Coaches are fired, Joe Gibbs is hired

15

Rose cannot relinquish his thorns Billy Hughes Editorials co Editor

Words from John Vigliotti In evaluating yourself and your position in life, one should simply ask, “how effective am I?” The answer, while typically seeming vast and complicated to place in words, is most likely a bunch of philosophical jumbo.

The same general nonsense applies to head coaches in professional sports, in this case, the National Football League.

So basically a bunch of teams played poorly, lost a lot of games, and immediately blamed the head coach. Perhaps their players just suck. But that’s not the case in point. The case, in this case, is the case of mediocre hiring. At the conclusion of this year’s season there were seven head coach opportunities open.

The Buffalo Bills have hired ten-year Steeler-assistant Mike Mularkey while the Chicago Bears have hired St. Louis Rams’ defensive mastermind Lovie Smith. Dennis Green has somehow managed his way into Arizona to head the everso-popular Cardinals and former Jacksonville Jaguar coach Tom Coughlin has taken over in New York. Jim Mora, Jr. has taken over the Atlanta Falcons, while the Oakland Raiders have employed Norv Turner.

While that was entertaining, the Washington Redskins are even funnier. After receiving a dump truck load of money to leave the successful Florida Gators and coach the long-standing, traditional, and often hated Washington Redskins, he quits. So in response what do the Redskins do? They hire the infamous Joe Gibbs. The man is 63. While this may not be old for say a golfer or an old person, this is ancient for a return to football.

The hiring of Joe Gibbs raised eyebrows and sent the sports media world into frenzy. Why? Because the man is old. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, Gibbs actually does know how to win. He led the franchise to three Super Bowl victories in ’82, ’87, and ’91. However, can he win with a Redskins team that has been trained to lose? And they’re pretty good at it too.

Gibbs has spent the last eleven years away from the sidelines focusing on his “successful” auto racing teams. That’s real cute and all but how does one suddenly up and sign a Þve-year contract worth $5 million per year to coach a professional football team? The answer: team owner Daniel Snyder. Snyder, being the tricky man he is, didn’t even publish Gibbs’ name as a top candidate. Gibbs was privately sought and privately signed. Precious.

In a recent interview Snyder said, “Gibbs helped deÞne what the Washington Redskins stand for-- integrity, hard work, determination, winning and championships.

Who better to set our strategy and lead the Redskins back to championship glory?”

Really makes you wonder if Snyder is talking about the right team. The Redskins went 12-20 in the last two seasons, including a stunning 5-11 performance this year.

Gibbs is now the club’s Þfth head coach since 1999. Clearly a sign of winners.

Gibbs will have a lot to take care of, including his team’s intelligence. Redskins’ middle linebacker Jeremiah Trotter said, “If you can coach, you can coach.”

Pure genius. But on a rather serious note, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback Joe Theismann believes that the Redskins are “one of the franchises in the league that needs to be good. They put a pop in everyone’s step.” And that just makes sense.

February 2004

4256 career hits is #1 all time and 485 more hits than “Home Run King” Hank Aaron chalked up in his career.

14053 at-bats is #1 all-time and 2500 more times than Iron Man Cal Ripken stepped up to the plate. 3562 games played is the most games a professional baseball player has played, ever. Over 3000 singles. A lifetime .303 batting average. On paper, a player with any one of these statistics would have a Cooperstown plaque waiting as soon as he was eligible for the Hall of Fame. But in reality, these statistics belong to Pete Rose.

On August 24, 1989 Rose was banned from baseball after the league investigated a claim that Pete was betting on baseball, even betting on his own team.

But the ban from baseball included no admission of guilt by Rose. He left the game in a Nixonesque manner, still technically innocent. Since he didn’t admit his indiscretion, Rose fans have claimed for years that the “Hit King” was wrongly accused.

On January 8, 2004 Rose put the conspiracy theories to rest and admitted that he’d bet on professional baseball.

What a shocker.

Baseball banned one of the greatest players of all time for life and he’s actually guilty? Of course he’s guilty. If there was any chance that Rose could have been

found innocent in 89’ he would have put up a Þght then. Admitting nothing was the same as admitting everything. Anybody who has believed Rose to be innocent for all these years has taken more hits to the head than Rose dished out in his career.

Rose broke MLB’s gambling rule, he broke sacred rule number 21.

When you mess with the integrity of the

photo by google.com

Thorny Rose: Pete’s media tactics haven’t endeared him to the public or to the Hall of Fame voters

sport, you deserve to get burned. When you’re making a million dollars a year in 1989 and you’re a compulsive gambler, you deserve to get burned. Fifteen years later, you don’t get to say you’re sorry.

For the sake of argument, if one assumes that major league baseball and

the Hall of Fame could forgive Rose and reinstate him, the way Rose apologized should keep him out of Cooperstown.

Pete Rose sponsored his own mock trial on ESPN in August. Johnny Cochran of O.J. fame was his defense lawyer. If that’s not mocking baseball, then what is?

Then, Rose comes out with a Primetime interview on January 7th and a book release in the same week. The same week that the 2004 Hall of Fame Inductees, Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley, were announced.

Rose’s publicity hurricane overshadowed the inductees and made him the center of attention, which is exactly what he wanted.

Plus, look at the title of Rose’s book: Pete Rose: My Prison Without Bars.

Pete always has to be the victim. He bet on baseball and the tone of his book says that he shouldn’t be held responsible.

Throughout the whole ordeal, few analysts have used the words “genuine,” “sincere,” or “humble” to describe the “Hit King.”

Luckily, it’s not up to the fake judge at Rose’s ESPN trial. Luckily, it’s not up to a bunch of lifetime Cincinnati Reds fans. Luckily, Hall of Fame voters are told to consider character and integrity as well as statistics. Peter Gammons, one of the most respected baseball analysts ever, said it best when he said that the whole ordeal has “reminded him that Pete Rose does not like baseball. He likes himself.”

Star athletes of yesterday...today Dave Lomonico Staff Writer The athletes of yesterday. Some of them were great role models, others had amazing ability, and some had crazy personalities. But after their days in the sun and glory where the fans praised them like gods and the media made them out to be gods, I pose the question – Where are they now? Have they continued their fame or are they just living a lazy life of luxury?

Are they broadcasters on TV, do they have jobs, or have they become bums? After research and a few Google searches Þve of the most colorful retired athletes have been revealed.

Dennis Rodman Dennis “The Worm” Rodman was one of the most controversial athletes to step foot on a basketball court. Rodman was most commonly known for his tattoos, piercings, and everchanging hair color. Also, his leadership skills, his defensive ability on the basketball court, and his ßagrant personality put Rodman in the spotlight of the national media.

Life After Sports: Rodman has stayed much the same even though his basketball days are over. His rebellious attitude has led to more run-ins with the law then anyone can count. Most of his actions come from his love of attention and love of fame. He even married the super model Carmen Electra purely for the media attention, but divorced her nine days later. Rodman is now on the ABC reality show, Celebrity Mole Yucatan.

Michael Jordan Jordan was without a doubt the best player to ever set foot on a basket-

The

ball court and may have been the greatest athlete ever in any sport. He won 6 NBA championships while with the Chicago Bulls and racked up some scoring titles and MVP awards along the way. Not to mention he might be the most famous man in America as he is constantly seen on TV, in shoe ads, and in movies.

Life After Sports: It is evident that without basketball, Jordan does not know what to do with his time (besides play golf). He retired twice only to come back to the game of basketball. Finally, it looks as if Jordan will stay off the court…but that will not stop him from being involved with the NBA. Jordan has not shied away from the spotlight at all.

Immediately after his career ended he became the owner of the Washington Wizards, which he brießy played for, until he was let go less than a year ago.

A rumor had him interested in working for the new NBA expansion team in Charlotte.

However, the deal never materialized. He was also spurned by the Milwaukee Bucks recently in his attempt to buy the team.

George Foreman Foreman had an amazing boxing career that included a record of 76 wins (68 knockouts) and just 5 losses. Arguably his most famous Þght was his loss to Muhammad Ali in the “Rumble in the Jungle” in Zaire. Foreman held the heavyweight title many times over his long career including an improbable victory in 1994 at the age of 45.

Life After Sports: Foreman may have been a great boxer, but he is known today for his com-

Patriot

mercial ads including the famous “lean, mean, grilling machine” Foreman Grill (Steaks in 5 minutes!). He also advertises for Meineke and appears in various other ads. Foreman has taken his hard-nosed boxing attitude and changed over to a fun-loving, self-mocking, commercialized Þgure.

Lawrence Taylor Taylor is known as the greatest defensive end to ever play the game of football. He had a ferocious warrior mentality on the Þeld as he once played a game with a torn shoulder muscle and still recorded 3 sacks. He won the NFL MVP award in 1986 (the only defensive player ever to do so) and also won two Super Bowls with the New York Giants (1986 and 1990). Taylor Þnished his career with 142 sacks and 10 Pro Bowl appearances.

Life After Sports: Throughout his career, Taylor was a drug addict – he openly admitted in his biographies to being addicted to crack.

He spoke of how it ruined his life, but yet he still could not get enough of it. Today, he runs a clinic in the inner cities where he tries to convince kids of the harms of drugs by using himself as an example.

Taylor has also appeared in several movies including Any Given Sunday and Shaft.

O.J. Simpson Everyone will forever associate OJ with his famous murder trial. However, one can not forget the amazing numbers he posted in his NFL career. He was a 6 time Pro Bowler, once rushed for over 2000 yards, and recorded 5 1000-yard seasons.

Life After Football: After football, OJ went into broadcasting like many former players.

He also became an actor and appeared in several movies including Towering Inferno and Cassandra Crossing. Along with his “acting,” he did advertising for several companies. Today, he enjoys his retirement by playing golf. However, he has stated that he will always be on the lookout for his wife’s true killer.

Volume 39, Number 4

Sports Vinatieri once again kicks Patriots to glory 16

the teams were forced into a double overtime for only the Þfth time in NFL history.

The Panthers won the game on the Þrst play in double-overtime. Quarterback Jake Delhomme hit Steve Smith for a long touchdown reception. The Panthers were on their way to the NFC Championship game.

The next game that weekend

quarterback Peyton Manning to communicate with his offense. Manning had no trouble orchestrating his offense to 38 points with a perfect passer rating. The Colts won 38-31 and the Chiefs Every season NFL teams strive lost at home for the Þrst time this year. to make the playoffs and hope to play one or two games at home. Home Þeld adThe Þnal game of the vantage is a huge asset in the post-season. weekend featured the Packers visiting Rarely does a road team come into Philadelphia. The Packers town and knock off the home team. jumped out to an early 14-0 In the 2000-2001 season, when the lead, but this did not scare Ravens won Super Bowl XXXV, the the Eagles. They scrapped Ravens were the only team to win on and clawed their way back the road in the playoffs. This year into the game and tied it home Þeld advantage is not as big as at the end of regulation an issue as it has been in years past. time. Philadelphia won on This was displayed in the a David Akers Þeld goal Þrst game of the playoffs: the Tiin overtime and advanced tans vs. the Ravens. The Titans had to the NFC championship the better record coming into the game against the Panthers. game and were listed as one-point The AFC favorites. Many fans and analysts championship game was felt the Ravens could bump off the the Colts at the Patriots.

Titans, though, because they were The Patriots were heavy the home team (where they were 7-1 favorites because of their for the season) and their fans would long win streak, and they photo by si.com make it hard for the Titans offense to were the home team. A hear the snap count. In the end, the Patriots wide receiver Deion Branch slips past the Panthers lot of fans thought the Titans kicked a 46-yard Þeld goal Terry Cousin. Branch finished the game with 10 receptions. Colts may be able to come

by Gary Anderson with less than a into town and knock off minute left to win the game 20-17 matched the Titans against the New Eng- the home team behind Peyton Manning The remaining three games land Patriots, in Boston. Not many people and his perfect passer rating. that weekend were all won by the home gave the Titans a chance because New The Patriots jumped out to an teams. The Panthers blew out the Dallas England was 8-0 at home, they were on a early lead and never looked back. New Cowboys 29-10, the Packers squeaked 12 game winning streak, and the wind chill England had a 15-0 lead at half. The Colts by the Seahawks 33-27 in overtime, and was below zero in Boston. Tennessee hung made it interesting in the second half, cutIndianapolis routed the Broncos 41-10. tough the whole game until Patriots’ kicker ting the Patriots’ lead to seven. The Patriots The following weekend’s games Adam Vinatieri hit a game winning Þeld prevailed, however 21-14, and advanced to were classics. The Þrst game matched goal in the closing minutes of the game. Super Bowl XXXVIII in Houston, Texas. the Panthers against the Rams. The The next game was the Colts at The second game was the PanRams, playing at home, were seven point Kansas City. Many picked Kansas City thers and Eagles in Philadelphia. The favorites. The Rams came from two to because they were 8-0 at home and Eagles were favored, but had lost two scores down and forced the game into have arguably the noisiest fans in the consecutive NFC championship games overtime. Both teams missed Þeld goals NFL. The Colts audible every play and in previous years. Eagles fans did not in overtime. Eventually time ran out and fans thought it would be impossible for think it could happen again, but it did.

Adam Bell Staff Writer

The Panthers dominated the entire game winning 14-3. The Panthers were NFC champs.

Super Bowl XXXVIII was supposed to be one of the most exciting Super Bowls ever. All of the experts that said it was going to be a defensive struggle were completely wrong. The Þrst twentyseven minutes were a defensive struggle, but from there the ßoodgates opened.

It was scoreless until three minutes before halftime. The Patriots scored a touchdown Þrst, but the Panthers answered right back and tied it with just over a minute left in the half. Then, Tom Brady and New England marched it down the Þeld again and took a 14-7 lead at halftime.

The second half was more of the same. Both teams continued to light up the scoreboard. The Panthers took their Þrst lead of the game when Jake Delhomme completed an 85-yard pass to Mushin Muhammed – the longest pass in Super Bowl history, to make the score 22-21.

On the next drive, the Patriots scored a touchdown and got a two-point conversion to take the seven-point lead.

The Panthers then moved the ball down the Þeld effortlessly to tie the game.

Panthers place-kicker John Kasay made the biggest mistake of the game on the ensuing kickoff by kicking the ball out-of-bounds. This placed the ball at the 40-yard line for the Patriots with more than a minute left, more than enough time for Brady to lead his team into Þeld goal range.

After a few Þrst downs, Patriots kicker Adam Vinatieri trotted on the Þeld once again to attempt a 41-yard winning Þeld goal with nine seconds left. Vinatieri easily made the Þeld goal to end the Super Bowl the same way he did two years ago.

The New England Patriots won 3239, with Tom Brady as game MVP...again.

Bowling program finally strikes out at community Lanes. This is a mentionable increase in attendance when compared to previous years.

Unfortunately for JC, the league has also grown over the past few This year, one team has made years, and will be able to accommodate waves throughout the JC community by more teams in the future. “At Þrst it becoming one of the most successful teams was more of a rec league,” said Mr Pons at JC. The team not only became a winThe league is currently full, and ning team, they became what they are from is not able to accept any more teams. Next a small unsuccessful team a few years ago. year, however, the league may be exMany panded to Þt students didn’t more teams know that a on its roster. bowling team The JC bowlhas existed ing team for the last also plans few years, but to expand with its recent next year. success in its The team is sets, bowling hoping to is Þnally makhave ofÞcial ing a splash. tryouts for The team is the team. photo by Erin O’Brien overßow- Bowling coach Mr. Pons refines his bowling skill.

They are ing with exalso hoping citement and competition. to add another team. This is the Þrst The team, which is actually two season that the bowling team has different teams, is comprised by mostly Þlled up so quickly that they actuunderclassmen, with the only senior on ally had to turn prospective bowlers down. the team being Eric Aycock. There are One team is currently in second two coaches to the team: one ofÞcial, place, and the other is in seventh place. one unofÞcial. The ofÞcial coach is These are rather impressive rankings conGym and Health teacher Mr. Pons. The sidering that the team has not been able to unofÞcial coach, mother of junior Evan really make a name for itself until this year.

Hollenshade, is Mrs. Terry Hollenshade.

“Only in America can a The team consists of twelve JC stu- coach have two teams in the top ten, dents that bowl every Monday at Forest Hill not have to practice [them], and evPat Isennock Staff Writer

Volume 39, Number 4

The

eryone gets to bowl,” said Mr. Pons.

Bowling is not a sport where the competitors are the only ones involved.

Bowling lanes seem to be the place to go if you plan on watching a sport. It already has a snack bar, there are lockers, and you can even eat an entire meal there.

The best part about the program is that next year, just about anyone will be able to bowl because of the expansion of the teams.

Patriot

“I would sit there, watch my team bowl, and enjoy a nice lunch,” said Mr. Pons, showing that the students on the team are not the only people having fun.

“It’s a good program,” said Mr. Pons. The bowling program is a program at JC unlike any other. Many students are going to be uneasy about joining such a small team, but people that are unsure about joining, should know that it will be a good experience.

February 2004