THE PAW PRINT April 2017 Vol. 6 Issue 4
mr. burns pg. 4 the story of her pg. 12 mulan pg. 14 curling team pg. 24
CONTENTS news editors news writers features editors features writers
centerspread editors opinions editors opinions writers column editor sports editors sports writers a&e editors a&e writers
copy editors web editor web editor-in-chief editor-in-chiefs advisor
Raylene Factora Erica Gillespie Ryan Factora Jaesung Park Jacqueline Hofmann Min Ju Kang Kulsoom Hasan Angelina Hernandez Hannah Kim Alina Truong Alyssa Truong Sydney Young Siena Zarrell Sarah Castillo Megan Chang Samantha Hartung Ga Min Kim Zoey Greenwald Skijler Hutson Minjoon Kang Jong Hak Won Bryce Fenenbock Sarah Ziskind Harneet Arora Jasleen Arora Erica Lee Kiana Quick Allison Alben Aerin Choi Grace Foster Christine Joo Audrey Kim Mary Waugh Mina Jang Andy Song Lauren Lee Morgan Smith Jaeun Park Riley Villiers-Furze Mrs. O’Shea
letter from the editors To the few students who actually read The Paw Print, It is with a heavy heart that we must shut down our computers and halt production of West Ranch’s beloved newspaper, The Paw Print. As our readership has been steadily declining for the past few years, it was by executive decision of our adviser and editor-in-chiefs that we cease our attempts to force readers to enjoy The Paw Print. “It’s too bad. But at least now I can use my money to buy a chicken sandwich,” said adviser Jennifer O’Shea. Our advisors are set on this decision until they see students reading The Paw Print versus using it as a weapon or material for paper airplanes. This does mean, however, that we will not be publishing the senior edition unless readership improves. For now, members of the newspaper plan to conjoin with the yearbook staff, where students actually pay to read their work. Until more information is provided for this sudden development, we hope you enjoy this final edition of The Paw Print and our staff’s goodbye. P.S. For the sake of public decency, please recycle The Paw Print. Global warming is bad enough without you making it worse. -- Allison Alben
news features a&e sports opinions
Ryan Yoo Won’t Graduate? Valedictorian Ryan Yoo will not graduate in order to protect his perfect GPA By: Jaeun Park
The Class of 2017 Valedictorian, Ryan Yoo, reveals that he will unable to graduate due to a refusal to take P.E. Projected Class of 2017 valedictorian, Ryan Yoo, announced in a press conference yesterday that he is unable to graduate because he refused to take Physical Education Two years (or four semesters) of P.E. are a requirement to graduate at West Ranch High School; however, Yoo refuses to take the classes and is now unable to graduate.
“I refuse to have
anything less than perfection” “If my GPA dips below 5.0, my blood sugar also drops. It’s a genetic disease from my mom’s side. My body is designed to physically punish me when I am anything less than perfect. I refuse to have anything less than perfection,” Yoo said in his prepared statement to the press yesterday, “That is why I did not take P.E. It was out of fear for my health
and safety.” In an interview later in the week, Yoo said that he was unsure whether he felt this was worth it. “I mean, I won’t get my diploma,” Yoo said, “But I still broke a lot of school records.” The counselor’s office has been very accommodating, offering a new “SuperAP” class on a weighted 6.0 scale to balance out the 4.0 P.E. class. “Ryan is a brilliant kid, and we want to help him to be able to do as much as he can,” the statement from the counselor’s office read. Projected salutatorian, Tiffany Wong, said that she wished the “Super-AP” classes were available to all students. “I could have beaten Yoo if I had the chance to take more classes, but my counselor only let me take seven classes at school and only three COC classes per semester,” Wong said. “I would take seven COC classes over the summer breaks too, but it was never enough.” When asked why she believed that her GPA wasn’t enough to measure up to Yoo’s, she stated it was because she took Health. “I mean, who really needs Health class anyways,” said Wong. Despite the special category of classes
created just for him, Yoo states that he is still hesitant to take the 4.0 P.E., because it may take some time for the SuperAP class to show up on his transcript. For a period of about two weeks, Yoo’s cumulative GPA would read as 4.90 as it takes some time for the registrar to record his Super-AP classes. He was unwilling to allow his GPA to dip below 5.0 even temporarily, as his body’s harsh response would be too excrutiating to bear. “It’s a terrible reality, but it’s my life,” Yoo said, shrugging.
SAT CHANGED TO ONE QUESTION
achieve less
Story by Raylene Factora
SQT All high school students know and dread the words “standardized testing.” Every test we take is composed of the same questions, same format, same answers. We are taught to memorize our material in order to get the highest scores on our tests, because numbers and grades are everything in high school. And in addition to the grueling aspects of attaining adequate high school grades, students must ace the SAT or ACT in order to even be considered for most colleges. These standardized test scores are one of the vital deciding factors in getting into a college or not. In the fall, the SAT and ACT are going to be changed from the normal multiple choice questions and essay to a single-question test, named the Solitary Question Test with the normal answer choices of a,b,c & d. This change has been in discussion and debate for months under the SQT board, with members from the College Board and ACT joining in to finally decide on the big switch. “We believe that this single-question test would be the best route for us to take in order to test students’ intelligence completely and accurately,” said Jenna Collins, a College Board member. “Instead of having multiple questions,
a single question derived from information the students probably learned in elementary school and now have to dig up and memorize maybe as much as 10 years later was obviously the quickest and most accurate option to test high school students’ aptitude.” New training facilities for the SQT have already opened up and old facilities for the SAT and ACT have been reforming their curriculum, as the owners were anticipating this switch due to the increasing centralization of material tested in the SAT and ACT. “Our specialists have been tracking the movements of the SAT and ACT tests,” said Blake Kim, owner of SQT training facility, Solitary Answer Training (SAT). “We found that the test material is becoming more centralized and similar each and every time, all narrowing down to this SQT now. Here at SAT, we have narrowed down the single question for the next test to about 4,000 possibilities, so we will be able to train a student to memorize and robotically spit out information to ace the question and earn that perfect score, which will offer them a huge advantage in being accepted to colleges.” Despite some negative feelings about the SQT, parents have already jumped
on preparation, starting at the earliest age possible to aid their children in this important test. “Really the SAT and ACT were big determinants in college acceptance, because looking at two identical students with different standardized testing scores, obviously the one with higher scores will get accepted over the other student,” said concerned parent Anna Jones. “So really, I just want my son to have the best chance possible to get a good score on the SQT because his score could possibly be what makes or breaks his acceptance to his dream college in the future.” Jones decided to put her 3-year-old son Gavin into SQT classes before he starts pre-school, just to get a jumpstart on the competition. Our experienced translator was unable to decipher Gavin Jones’ response, as he was in the middle of cramming SQT vocabulary index cards into his mouth. The next SQT test is scheduled for the fall, so make sure to register on the new website, and study hard, Wildcats because test scores reflect who you are as a whole person and determine every part of your future until the day you die!
Parking Points Story by Riley Villiers Furze
It’s happened. Sophomores have parking passes, and now students are scrambling to find a parking spot. There have been a ton more tardies since drivers are forced to spend up to 15 minutes circling the parking lot. Juniors and seniors are complaining that sophomores were able to purchase parking passes in the first place while sophomores are complaining that it took so long to for them to get them. And it’s true; the system is unfair. There are plenty of sophomores that have been held back and can already
drive and there are plenty of juniors and seniors that still don’t have their licenses. To fix this problem, the administration has decided to roll out a new system for next year. This system is point based, allowing students who have the most points to get parking passes first. Each qualification a student has, awards them one point. The list of qualities for the points is listed below and to the right. If students have a truck, they will be awarded one point. If students have an American flag
anywhere on their car, they will be awarded one point. (One additional point will be awarded if it’s an actual flag and not a sticker.) If students’ parents paid more than $50,000 for their car, then they will be awarded one point. If students drive a new car, then they will be awarded one point. If students drive a BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, or Range Rover, they will be awarded one point. If students drive a restored old mustang, they will be awarded one point.
Point system: Points will be rewarded for:
WILDCAT
If students have any West Ranch stickers or political stickers on their car, they will be awarded one point. If students have a personalized license plate, they will be awarded one point. The full list of qualifications will be on the Paw Print website.
-Students own a truck -Students have an American flag (One additional point will be awarded if it’s an actual flag and not a sticker) -Students’ parents paid more than $50,000 for their car -Students drive a new car -Students drive a BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, or Range Rover -Students drive a restored old mustang -Students have any West Ranch stickers or political stickers on their car -Students have a personalized license plate
Jennifer Lawrence as
Mulan Story by Megan Chang Story by Megan Chang
Your prayers have been answered. On March 1, 2017, Disney confirmed that actress Jennifer Lawrence, best known for her Oscar-worthy performance in “The Hunger Games,” will be playing Mulan in the newest remake of the Disney classic. The casting reflects Disney’s recent efforts to ensure that there is still diversity in the film industry. With the recent release of the hit movie “Moana” and the success of “Big Hero 6,” the company has decided that it is due time for a white actress to grace movie screens. In order to prepare for the film, Lawrence was rumored to have frequented numerous sushi restaurants, including Sugar Fish, as well as visited a traditional Chinese acupuncturist. Lawrence has also recently released that after extensive research on Ancestry. com for any traces of Asian heritage, she discovered that she is 0.000001 percent Asian making her “the perfect fit for the role” as described by the director of the film. Walt Disney himself was available for a comment on the uncontroversial casting choice, after being resurrected from the dead specifically to work on
the film. He stated, “I’m glad that we will be able to finally see a fresh face on movie screens. Asian actors have had their turn. I believe that now it is time for someone new and exciting, such as Lawrence, to have her time in the limelight. Plus, Lawrence is such a skilled actress that I believe she can accurately depict the role.” The casting decision will also make the movie more relatable. In his interview, Disney stated that he wanted to avoid overloading his young target audience with too much foreign culture. “I want to keep the film familiar and relevant. A movie is a success only if everything about the film is familiar and has been done before: the plot, the characters, the handsome male lead. The movie is already about Asian culture, but too much of it would under represent other cultures.” Disney has yet to release who will appear alongside Lawrence in the film, though there have been rumors that Matt Damon will play the male lead, General Li Shang, after his recent success on the film “The Great Wall.”
LET’S MAKE HISTORY...
ADAM HOLLAND: THE NEW BACHELOR Story by Riley Villiers-Furze, Siena Zarrell & Hannah Kim Photos by Siena Zarrell & Hannah Kim
G
et ready ladies. There is a new Bache- A lot of crying, romantic trips, and paslor in town and his name is Adam Holland. sionate dinner discussions about Louis XIV are sure to make this season one to Yes, you heard it here first. Our very remember. Not since Abraham Lincoln own AP European History teacher, has history been this sexy. Adam Holland, has been selected as the next Bachelor. This news comes shortly after the announcement of Rachel Lindsey as the first black Bachelorette.
Binge watching the History channel every night get lonely, after all, and he’s looking to fill that void with a wife. These 30 beautiful women don’t know what’s coming.
“ONE OF YOU When asked what message he wants give the contestants, Holland simply IS GOING TO BE toresponded, “One of you is going to be a very lucky woman.” A VERY LUCKY So strap in and prepare yourselves, Holland is on a quest for love and he’s WOMAN.” here for all the right reasons.
“We’re making history this season on the Bachelorette, so we figured why not keep the ball rolling and have the Bachelor feature an actual history teacher. It doesn’t get more exciting than that,” says executive producer Holland agreed to be the next Bachof the Bachelor franchise, Mike Fleiss. elor because he’s finally ready to put Are you ready ladies? aside his party lifestyle for a family in You’re right Mike, Holland’s season the suburbs. He’s looking for a woman Let’s make some history. is going to be the most jaw-dropping who can balance him out like the yin yang tattooed across his chest. yet.
Q: What do you look for in a woman? A: Definitely looks, of course. She must be a great opera singer, even though I hate opera. Q: How would you describe a perfect getaway? A: I think it would be fun to go to Fiji and take long walks on the beach. Q: What are your hobbies outside of teaching? A: I rock climb, I also go camping quite often. I’ll just go off into the forest and live off the land. I hunt and I also work on cars in my spare time. Q: Do you cook for dates? A: You know what, as a teacher, we are blessed with an abundant salary so I have an in house private cook. I’ll say “surprise” me and there’s a perfect meal, waiting right there. Q: What qualities do you admire? A: She’s got to be a hot thinker, honest, but not too honest-- sometimes you just don’t want to know everything, and she should be able to dab. Q: Favorite Netflix shows? A: I love horror films, so whenever those come on I enjoy watching them-- in broad daylight. Q: What’s your relationship with your mother? A: That’s a long story. But we don’t live in the same town, so that’s good. Q: Describe your idea of a perfect date. A: We would spend the day in Daytona at a NASCAR race. Just hearing those cars roar on by. Q: Do you have any special talents? A: I can poke a rap like nobody else.
Q & A
Story by Jong Hak Won
When we asked about how a vegan restaurant could sell meat, they came back with a simple solution: They don’t eat actual animals. “The idea for our restaurant came from the simple problem that people want to be able to call themselves vegan but also really like meat,” said Pita. According to Pita, cannibalism was the only logical alternative to staving off meat forever. “We’re not eating actual animals, and humans are disgusting creatures anyway,” said Johnston. Several establishments are joining in on catering to these “alternative vegans.” For example, local family-run “alternative
Vegan culture has taken Southern California. “I choose to be vegan because it just feels like the moral thing to do,” said local SCV vegan and the owner of MeatIsMurder.com, Rain MacNamara. “There are so many animals that are suffering in the world.” For most of us however, the idea of giving up our precious bacon, cheeseburgers, and all-you-caneat Korean barbeque at all is impossible to even think about. “I also had two strips of bacon because I was craving it,” said selfproclaimed vegan Blake Johnston. And supposedly “vegan” restaurants are adding meat to their menus. Some restaurants like Vege-Tables are not even bothering to be discrete. “We wanted to create a space for vegans to come together and enjoy good food while still being able to enjoy a nice piece of bacon if they really like,” said store manager Cory Pita.
vegan” restaurant STOP Murdering An!mals offers up freshly cut human meat at prices as low as $4.59 per 3 ounces of human meat. “My dad heads down to the morgue at 4 a.m. every morning to pick up the freshest corpses for the day’s specials,” said manager son Nathaniel Ramirez. But while restaurants like STOP Murdering An!mals are catering to the lower scale of the market, others are already trying to raise the bar on their quality of human flesh. At the Vegan Grill restaurant in Los Angeles, the human meat is aged for at least 28 days before they serve it to maximize flavor and texture. “We think that if you are going to be a vegan, that’s willing to indulge in human flesh, than you should be cheating on your veganism the right way,” said head chef Samantha Green. “I think our aging process gives the meat a smoky taste that you don’t find anywhere else.” With this whole new market cropping up catering to all types of budgets, it should be easier for people to convert to being a vegan. “It feels good to be able to preach the virtues of veganism while still being able to enjoy a strip of bacon with your avocado toast,” said MacNamara.
WHAT’S ON THE
cucumber
human toe
human liver
spinach + human plasma dressing
MENU
sesame seed
Lost Your
ID Card? Story by Angie Hernandez Photos by Sydney Young
is that all together, students this year will spend a total of $41,875 a year, and that’s only if they lose their ID cards once. All this money should be going towards buying Principal Mark Crawford a brand new 2017 Lexus, not new ID cards. According to assistant principal, Bryan Wilson, the tattoo artist will charge $100 to tattoo students for an hour; the process will take roughly 10 minutes, which means it will cost a little over $16 per students. This is cheaper than an ID card. But here’s the best part: It will be covered by the school-wide insurance, which means parents won’t have to pay a dime. In turn, this will save the parents
Source: www.funnystats.com
Say goodbye to the hardships of not being able to participate in school elections or missing the football and basketball games all because you cannot find your ID. Losing your ID card has become common for typical high school students. Good thing our school offers a really simplistic, modern look to all the students here … tattoos. A tattoo of your ID barcode is not only the best way to go, but it will also ensure that you will never forget your ID card ever again. Singer Ariana Grande was one of the first to approve this idea. She stated in a press release last Friday that having tattooed ID numbers would be “one less, one less problem.” “Everyone makes mistakes, but just like a driver’s license, your ID card needs to be safe. It is a problem to
lose your ID card because students need it for certain school events,” stated Assistant Registrar Ms. Schollnick. The tattoo that the school is considering will be inked on the students’ foreheads in the center of the head crossing from the middle of their temples. The administration went with Pure Black 102 for the ink to complement the school’s colors. It will be mandatory for all the students at West Ranch High School to ensure equality for all students. Now let’s talk money. Students at West Ranch love money. So, the average cost of an ID card is $20. More than 90.32 percent of West Ranch students lose their ID cards. When you do the math, that means that 1,675 students will lose their ID cards, and that is frankly too high of a number. What is even more scary
“It will be mandatory for all the students at West Ranch High School, to ensure equality for all” parents money in addition to preventing students from losing their ID cards. “Tattooing students’ ID numbers on their foreheads relieve them from their stress of accidentally losing their ID cards. It saves the students’ ID cards while keeping the money in the parents pockets,” said Wilson.
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Where to Go? Story by Skijler Hutson
A student politely asks to use the restroom. She grabs the hall pass and heads toward the courtyard, but instead of continuing toward the restroom, the student heads down another path: toward the backfield. Once at the far end, behind the softball field, she zips down her fly and relieves herself standing up as if using any regular urinal. With widespread controversy surrounding transgender students being able to use the bathroom of their choice, some transgender students at West Ranch have turned to alternative methods of relieving themselves. The back fields may host many soccer, softball, lacrosse and baseball games, but now it also serves as a latrine for the gender non-conforming community at West Ranch. With a view of Magic Mountain and the beautiful Southern California landscape, the refuge provides an escape for many social outcasts to let their worries fly to the wind, literally. “It feels natural; I don’t even know why we have restrooms in the first place when God’s creations are all around us. It’s really a sanctuary where I can be myself and be in a truly organic state of mind,” said one student regularly seen at the spot. Although it may seem like a step away from equality to some, others believe it to be a luxury. “It feels so useless -- all those years fighting for equality to be able to use the bathroom of our choosing. We could have been relieving ourselves outside
this whole time,” said one transgender student. In August 2013, Gov. Jerry Brown made California the first state to require public schools to allow transgender students to choose which locker room or restroom they feel most comfortable in, so why are students still complaining?
“The scary thing is that it happens all the time without anyone knowing. It’s almost as if they really are their new gender; it’s so misleading.” “I went through my transition, and when I finally was allowed to go to the girls’ restroom, everyone stared at me. The whole school knew and I felt like an alien in that place. I was not welcomed at all, and some called out slurs at me. I mean I get it; I would be afraid if like Bigfoot came into the restroom. They are totally
valid. It’s not like I am another human being like them; I am transgender after all. Toilets, for now I suppose, will only be for normal people.” Because students feel unwelcome in the binary system, some are considering installing gender-neutral bathrooms. But then some people have felt that this is unfair to those who feel uncomfortable in restrooms for other reasons. “I have blue eyes, and when I go to the restroom, I feel like all the brown-eyed girls are staring me down with their big brown eyes,” said one sophomore girl with terror in her big blue eyes. “Why shouldn’t we have a restroom for just blue-eyed people? I would feel so much safer.” Others, who already feel comfortable in the current system, may have other reasons to worry about transgender students. “The scary thing is that it happens all the time without anyone knowing. It’s almost as if they really are their new gender; it’s so misleading. It’s like they are lying to us all. Transgenders should wear identification tags so that we know. Maybe a flower patch would work … or possibly a star?” said a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. Once you look at it, all this fuss seems unnecessary as transgender students have already found a solution. “Really it’s okay; we’re fine turning to the great outdoors. It’s so peaceful back here. As long as I get to do my business in peace, then I’ll be good,” said one transgender student.
The Truth Story by: Bryce Fenenbock and Harneet Arora
The West Ranch administration has long taken heat for using Valencia’s stadium to host home football games instead of upgrading the practice field on campus. While previous efforts have been made to start up the West Ranch stadium project, none have made it past the required district administration go-ahead. For years students have bought into the district’s excuses of “budget cuts” and “unfairness to other schools” to explain why a stadium isn’t possible. That entire dynamic was flipped upside, however, when a pickup game of flag football quickly transformed into the most controversial and revealing story in the history of West Ranch. When junior athlete Jon Matkin went out for a deep post route on a typical Sunday scrimmage, he was not prepared for how he would be defended. en “I’m wide open in the endzone, so I
turned my head to look for the ball and before I know it I’m lying on the floor,” Matkin said. “I looked down and this little white stump was sticking out of the field. I called some friends to check it out and before I know it it’s all over social media.” While the administration attempted to cover up the mysterious object by sending in teachers to hide it, crowds still gathered by the hundreds to learn the truth behind the stump. Several days after the initial discovery, worldrenowned archaeologist Robert Ballard was called in to investigate. Ballard concluded that the “stump” was the first several inches revealed of an ancient Indian burial site. “When I discovered this was indeed ritual grounds, I was bewildered. Throughout my extensive 67 year career I have never found such a wellpreserved site,” said Ballardkke. “I just don’t understand how something so large wasn’t already discovered by the architects during construction.”
Beneath
Assistant Principal Bryan Wilson revealed that the school was already halfway through completion when the first skeleton was discovered. The top district officials decided to keep this secret locked away, however, and continue construction like business as usual. They approximate that beneath the field lie the remains of roughly 230 Cherokee Indians. “We never wanted our students to find out like this. It’s time we uncover the real reason we can’t play games on our home turf,” said Mark Crawford, West Ranch’s principal. “Our primary concern is the safety of the students, and with the vast number of spiritual tombs located directly beneath the field, we fear that too many souls concentrated on the field might trigger a catastrophic event that reawakens the undead, both human and unhuman.” Students are finding a bright side, however, to the shocking situation. “I’m honestly just glad to hear there is a legit reason why we can’t play on the
field at West Ranch,” said senior Hunter Covarrubias. “For a while I was really confused why the administration kept making up excuses why we couldn’t build the practice field into a stadium. They said stuff like ‘Golden Valley has to get a stadium before we do’ and other nonsense for the longest time. I’m happy they were just trying to protect us all along.” Further investigations will take place across the district to determine if West Ranch is the only school guilty of this crime. After all, Hart and Saugus have practice fields on campus that have not been transformed into the home field either. What are they trying to hide? “We have a fully operable field on our campus and we play at COC,” said Hart senior Myles Harris. “We’ve got the same problem at our school and look how bad the truth turned out to be for West Ranch. I’m just praying that the reason we can’t play football games on campus isn’t due to the threat of an ancient Indian apocalypse.”
FROM PIGSKIN TO THE BROOM story by Mac Demarco
1. Vision has not yet been found Ball can still be found within players hand.
2.
Vision has been found Ball has been removed from players hand.
3. Vision has been fw Player is now seen with a fresh curling stick ready to slay
This past football season ended with very shocking news. Varsity coach Chris Varner announced his decision to make a big switch from a football team to a curling team. What seemed like one very random and impulsive choice was actually one man’s lifelong dream come true. Coach Varner, a product of a small town called Flin Flon located in Canada, spent his childhood warming the stands of his local ice station. There he watched members of his community use brooms to glide small flat stones across the ice toward a mark in a sport known as curling, something he never thought he would have the chance to experience. “We didn’t have the money to support my love for the sport so I would take the kitchen broom and let my imagination run wild,” said Coach Varner. Thirty years down the road and Varner stands on ice, this time with a proper broom in hand along with his 42 players. Because of low funding district wide, the team was told football would be cut first because of their somewhat unsuccessful streak. Varner took this as an opportunity he’d been wanting to take his whole life. “Curling gear is a lot cheaper than football so it was simple to convince the school to give us a shot,” said Varner. “Once the boys got out there on that ice I could just tell by the look on their faces that we were really onto something.” “He knew it was time to put down the pigskin and pick up the broom.” said Quarterback Jake Rice. “We put all of our trust in him and we couldn’t be happier with the way things turned out.” Varner’s vision has become reality. The team is excited for the community to take part in their adventure. With their intense passion there is no doubt the team will be a success.
Students Deserve Less By: Minjoon Kang On March 31, the College Board and Advanced Placement announced that they will be adding two new classes to the curriculum: AP Physical Education and AP Agriculture. These classes are among the many APs that give students the opportunity to refine their fitness
“These challenging courses are great opportunities for students to become advanced physical education experts and farmers. ” skills and become experts in farming. Andy Iglesias, national award winning school counselor from Arkansas said, “This will be a great opportunity for many to get a college level education in general fitness and agriculture.” AP Physical Education is a prestigious class where students are pushed to their physical limits. Rachel Beroth, sophomore, shows enthusiasm for the class. “Gotta take it for that GPA boost. Hard work pays off. I mean, sometimes you gotta give up studying for that Euro test to lift weights.” Teachers will evaluate faster mile times, better knowledge of the different sports, and advanced weightlifting as part of their educational curriculum. Testing will be written and practical. The written would be
an extremely difficult exam in which students are required to have extensive knowledge about weightlifting, specific muscles, sports statistics, and specific bones and functions. In order to pass the practical, a student must display a 5:00 or under mile time, be able to lift a minimum of 30 pound weights, and swim 50 meters in under 25 seconds. Agriculture is the practice of farming, which includes the cultivation of soil, and the rearing of animals for food, wool and other products. This class will allow students to become advanced farmers who are knowledgeable in the use of different tools, the cultivation of plants, the breeding of different animals, and the utilization of advanced machines. Rush Pande, freshman, has lived in the SCV his whole life. He said he always wished he had more access to nature. “I’m not surprised that they would be adding it since they already cover a wide variety of interests and topics. I can’t wait to take this class.” Similar to AP PE, AP Agriculture has a written and a practical for the official exam. The written exam challenges the students’ knowledge about animal and plant anatomy, the parts and functions of the different machines, and the function and history of the many tools used to farm. The practical assessment asks students to demonstrate proper handling of animals, cultivation of plants, and driving a factory machine for half a mile. These challenging courses are great opportunities for students to become advanced physical education experts and farmers. To make it even better, the addition of two classes to the AP curriculum would take pupils one step closer in reaching the 5.0 GPA. These courses will become an essential part of school pedagogy, and push students to pack their schedules and push themselves to the limits.
The Man that the People Miss By Samantha Hartung and Gamin Kim
T
here’s not many in this world who possess the qualities of a leader. There’s only one person in the world who possess every quality as a leader. He is Kim Jong Il, our beloved leader who left us much too soon. But luckily, he has influenced a man who encompasses what our generation is all about. Kim Jong Il was innovative beyond his years. No one could live up to the forward thinking he possessed, not to mention he was not afraid of new ideas and experiments. The famine in North Korea during the 1990’s was a tragedy. Almost a million citizens died because of it, but his solution was impeccably genius. Kim Jong Il decided that if we choose not to think about something, our minds will eventually forget to think of it, eliminating it from our reality completely. He decided to take no notice to the famine occurring in his country, so that when he was sitting down in his house, he would not remember it existed. The United States has caught onto the trend early, and our current Commander in Chief has already begun to adapt these ideas. He addressed in his campaign that he wanted to fix up the ghettos of our country, and now being President, he has decided to ignore it. While it may sound harsh, by choosing not to talk or make any progress on it, President Trump gets to go to sleep at night not even worrying about the people struggling in less fortunate areas. But little did Kim Jong Il know his plan would catapult him to even further success. His fresh and unprecedented thinking lead him to solve another problem, the population. There would no longer be an overpopulation crisis, as the weakest members of society
KIM JONG IL would eventually die off because of the famine. This left his country full of only the strongest, superior humans that made it past their small bellyaches. President Trump can only aspire to be as effective as Kim Jong Il, but luckily for our nation, he is well on his way. By ignoring the severe crime rates and the horrible police brutality in some of the ghettos, he is allowing the less civilized or successful to be simply killed off. Now, all the drug
“ Kim
Jong Il was a benevolent and welcoming leader. Any person living in his country would be always protected by a northern and southern border.
addicts, child molestors, and most importantly, people with opposing viewpoints will all die, leaving only the people who deserve to be here. Kim Jong Il was a benevolent and welcoming leader. Any person
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living in his country would be always protected by a northern and southern border. If a person committed a crime, then for three generations, their family would benefit from the consequences by being able to live their lives under a sanctuary located in the tip of the state in an undisclosed location. These families were all even provided a home and work without any difficulty. For specific individuals of foreigners entering, Kim Jong Il also presented them with an option that would allow them to receive North Korean citizenship in record time. This meant also that the foreigners would able to enjoy their lives like the families and would thus be a better living environment. Kim Jong Il is and always will be a leader for the people. With his intellect, kindness, and innovation to improve the lives of each and every North Korean, there is no doubt that he will continue to do so with a higher degree of protection of its borders and a unification of a one-party system to justify all the people’s needs.
CUT T I NG T HE ART S Story by Zoey Greenwald
I
magine walking onto the campus of what seems to be a normal high school. You turn and see classes in guitar. Yoga. Acting. Soon, macrame. Interpretive dance. Conceptual art. Our children are walking around with nose rings and flowers in their hair! They aren’t wearing shoes. Is this the America you want? The arts are completely unnecessary to the school system. Artists are notorious for not making any money and being sad all the time. If we teach our youth art, they will have no perception of reality. The mind is a dreadful place to be. Do we really want a future society full of intellectuals? Life is not a canvas, as the arts are
teaching our children. Life is a battlefield, and merit should be based on fighting and winning. Art programs are teaching our kids to find fulfillment in expressions of feelings rather than hard, manual work. You cannot touch a song. You cannot use a painting. If the arts are so important, what purpose are they serving our society? If we look back in time at our prehistoric days, the arts were not a second thought in the mind of early man. It was about survival. If you were strong and quick on your feet, you survived. That is the classic, pure America I miss. If we allow arts programs to exist in our schools, our children will be rooted in deep thought rather
than being a working part of society. Art is a pastime that grown adults with money may partake in. It has no bearing in the real world as a job. Teaching our children that art is a profession is wrong and irresponsible. Everybody knows that thinking makes people sad. If you, a concerned parent, notice your child engaging in artistic pursuits, it is best to approach the matter gently— perhaps suggesting more social media, television, or less mentally strenuous activities in general. This should be healthy for their overworked minds. It is time to end the reign of the artist before this epidemic takes over the country. Monitor your children closely, fellow citizens. The artists are among us.
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