just girly things I was 14 years old. My two best friends and I were walking across the street in a tiny beach town one Saturday afternoon in August. We were laughing, enjoying our time together, and forgetting that we had to go to school on Monday morning. All of a sudden, our exchanging of inside jokes was interrupted by sounds from the pickup truck stopped at the red light next to us. They honked their horn, rolled down their windows, and whistled at us, continuing to shout obscene things that I didn’t understand the meaning of until a few years later. Our minds hadn’t registered what had happened, but we knew that we were afraid. So we ran inside the small antique shop at the corner of the street and hid amongst the vintage furniture and porcelain dolls for around an hour. Since this day, I have been told things like “Boys like girls who wear more makeup,” and even “You should become a prostitute when you’re older.” Once I heard these comments enough, I became almost numb. I felt nothing anymore. How is it fair that 15-year-old girls have dealt with so much harrassment throughout their lives that it has become a part of their daily routine? When were we first taught that we are simply objects? In elementary school, any time a boy would push a girl on the playground or make fun of her in any way, it would be swept under the rug. The teachers would pick the girl up off of the ground, dry her tears, and tell her, “He is only being mean to you because he likes you.” Allowing a young girl to believe that abusive behaviors are the same as love can lead to adult women being trapped in relationships with abusive partners, but because they have been taught that hatefulness only means they care, they have no desire to leave the relationship. This can also create a rather terrifying idea in the minds of men: “If I am mean to someone, it will be taken as love.” If they have been told their entire lives that being malicious towards somebody equals loving and caring for that person, then they will not be able to grasp that what they are doing is not an aspect of love. This creates a toxic relationship with no way out.
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I learned what objectification was at a young age. In middle school, boys got away with sexual assault constantly, and a lot of the time, girls were blamed for the actions of boys. In an interview with Alana Pelaez, she shared this story with me; “I was sexually harassed all throughout middle school and I finally gained the courage to tell my 8th grade counselor. I walked in and through tears told the story of what happened. She said to me, ‘Well were you wearing a low-cut top?’ Those words play through my head every time I wear anything slightly revealing. Because my counselor said that to me and assigned the blame to me, that boy who harassed me and ruined my life never got in trouble.” How is it fair that boys get to walk away un harmed, while girls receive ridicule and blame? This is only teaching young girls that they mean nothing compared to men; they are simply objects that can be used whenever they please. We are supposed to be preparing for the “real world,” while we are in high school, or at least that’s what all of my teachers say. However, all I am learning is that I am afraid. I have had boys call me a “whore,” a “slut,” and I have been ridiculed for saying “no.” Each and every time I ask an adult for help, I receive the same answer: “Boys will be boys.” If “boys will be boys,” is an excuse for their behavior, then they can get away with absolutely everything. When harassed on school property, it is extremely difficult to ask for help. Girls are worried that school officials will do nothing but repeat, “Boys will be boys,” over and over until we begin to believe that it is a valid excuse. Boys will get away with this behavior while those who have been assaulted have to live with that experience forever. There is no way to forget how we felt in that moment. The boys who harrassed us live on, forgetting that they even did anything wrong. I am a person; not a belonging. I want to be treated like a human being, living and breathing on this planet, creating new things and changing the world. No girl is simply a “thing.” We are people, and it is time we start fighting against harassment and sexual assault. It is time for schools to start helping us in that fight. It is time to end objectification, once and for all.
quynn lubs
