Create Fun by Celebrating Play by The Perpetual You

OCTOBER 2015 | Series No. 1, Issue No. 3

The

fun

Issue

Become a Kid Again with Darlene Navarre of GoPlazy!

ALSO

Learn the A-Z's of Play • Find the Perfect Playroom • Quick, Do a Play Reset!

I N THI S I S S U E

Create

fun

by Celebrating Play

realize

Lifestyle suggestions to help you celebrate play every day, including our "family game night" product suggestions, playful books to read, and featured food T H I S M O N T H â&#x20AC;&#x2122; S COV E R : and drink; as well as new Behold-the Play Lady! takes on wellbeing, Darlene Navarre, Chief Fun adventure, Officer of GoPlazy, lets us in fashion, and movement. on all her play secrets.

dwell

Inspiration for a playful approach to your design challenges, including this monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s design style mix & match, suggestions for hanging your children's art, and a discussion on whether you should fight for the perfect playroom.

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

live

Mindful wisdom from experts Maureen Whitten of "Be Yourself Wellness" and Rachel Winston, play therapist, on how celebrating play and having fun can make your life more meaningful.

T H E P E RP E TUAL YOU TE AM

LaKay Cornell

Lee Lee Thompson

Jessie Leiber

Co-founder & Editor of all things people-related

Co-Founder & Editor of all things words-related

Editor of all things design-related

LaKay is a true believer in consciously orchestrating your life. She is a lover of people, networking, champagne, the world of self-actualization and social media. She can frequently be found enjoying craft beer and introducing friends to things they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know they needed. You can find her on twitter @rootsandwings04.

The lee lee is a mother by choice, writer by trade, and designer by heart. She loves shopping, drinking, redecorating, and traveling. She keeps busy trying to do all of this while remaining true to her thrifty roots. Her online personalities include @leeleeinp and @boyswholovepink.

Jessie is a multi-disciplinary designer & art director striving to make the world more pixel perfect. When not staring at computer screens, she can be found singing (loudly) in her car or compulsively buying striped shirts. You can stalk her on Instagram @jessieleiber or see design samples at jessieleiber.com.

And a special

thanks

to this monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s makers

Kylie Flaskos

Suzanna Lancaster

Tiffany

Graphic Design

Editor

Guru

@inkandpapercreative

@lady_lancaster90

@tiffanymanchester

visit website >>

Sarah Annay

Walker Sisters

Jennifer Wenzel

Photography

@sarahannayphotography

@walkerstudiosllc

@jenwenzelphoto

visit website >>

The Perpetual You is a place where creatives and coaches can come together to showcase their work and be part of a movement designed to shake up the world. Interested in adding your talents to the mix? Email hello@theperpetualyou.com.

T H E F UN I S S U E

WE L COME

Click to have fun with us this month by listening to our PLAYFUL Spotify mix.

And at the end of the day, your feet should be dirty, your hair messy, and your heart sparkling. - Shanti

or many of us, the leaves are turning beautiful colors right now & the air is getting brisk. Having moved back to New England this year, I’m so thankful to be enjoying cool mornings as well as the chance to pull out boots and sweaters!

Join our mailing list & receive this month’s custom wallpapers to download for your computer or phone.

That is also why I’m excited about the current issue! As much as we enjoy the cool air and the beautiful sights, sounds, and smells of autumn, summer being over is always bittersweet: daylight is lessening and the floors will be cold to our bare feet. This issue, we chose to focus on the true fun that is to be had in fall—connecting to our children and our own child-like spirits—bringing play into our everyday worlds. My favorite spread is definitely the one of 40+ real women laughing, an idea we had to coordinate with the amazing cover photo of Darlene. Many of us are quick to delete photos where we are truly laughing out loud. We work hard to create a perfect pose for photos–but laughter is spontaneous, not perfectly posed. Looking at these pages, I think you’ll agree with us (and Audrey!) that women are truly their prettiest when they are happy. It was so inspiring for me to curate this project that I’m ready to create a traveling photo exhibit. We send out a huge thank you to all the women who submitted their photos for this spread. Thank you for helping us reframe the way women are portrayed in media (#realwomenlaugh) . And now I’m off to get my feet dirty & hair messy with my own beautiful daughter. Be sure and take photos of how you play this month & share them with us on Instagram using #celebrateplay & #theperpetualyou.

Join the movement.

realize to align your daily practices with your

ever-evolving desires

REALIZE

Play

How to Bring a Child-Like Spirit to Your Grown-Up Life

Acknowledge you need a break. Be present. Carve out time: start with 5 minutes a day. T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Dig deep...

why are you resisting?

Experience your surroundings in a new way. Follow your heart not your head. Get messy. Hug someone nearby. Introduce something new. Join others who are playing. Keep a play journal. Let curiosity take over. continued on next page

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Move your body to music.

Nod off...

naps are your brain's playtime.

Open your eyes. Participate fully. Quote your kids. Recall your childhood. Swing, slide, seesaw. Take the pressure off. Use what you have. Vent your feelings. Wander around. X out your hesitation.

Yearn for more. Zig zag through your day.

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REALIZE

Celebrate Movement

Want a more playful spirit in your traditional fall activities? Don't just rake the leaves into a pileâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Jump In!

T H E F UN I S S U E

REALIZE

Celebrate Fall with

your Family

Leaves falling and seasons changing are a reminder that our children are growing and changing, too. Shorter days mean less time in the evening, so why not celebrate and share food during a time when the young ones have boundless energy? Slow down and start the day together with Saturday morning breakfast. T HE PERPETUA L YOU

or our family breakfast, we served apple/ cinnamon waffles with maple syrup and whipped cream. Everyone assisted in the effort: the 13 year old mixed and made the waffles; the 3 year old helped set the table; and the 7 year old titled himself the taste-tester. Supervising was easy and more fun while mixing (and tasting) drinks. The result? A breakfast filled with the sweet flavors of fall and the celebration of family!

Cinnamon Apple Pancake

Spiked Cider

We love Stonewall Kitchen because they are a small town business with a big reach. For this spread, we chose their Cinnamon Apple Pancake and Waffle mix. If you want a little added bonus, finely chop apples and add them to the mix. Homemade whipped cream adds a sense of celebration to the meal, and honestly, who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t love having whipped cream?

For a fun twist on a fall favorite, we added champagne to some local apple cider. For the kiddos, we topped their cider with sparkling apple so they could have the fun of fizziness too. The best part? These amazing sugared rims. We dipped the jars in Vermont maple syrup, then raw sugar crystals. Beautiful & delicious!

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“In every job that must be done, there is an element of — Mary Poppins T HE PERPETUA L YOU

fun

.”

celebrate

a Good Book

Society Members Learn why you should love House of Mango in this month's edition of, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Did she really just...â&#x20AC;?

House on Mango Street

Play is the New Way

How to be a Grown-Up

by Sandra Cisneros

by Darlene Navarre

by Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus

At first glance, Esperanza's life may not seem fun, even though she's only twelve years old at the novel's beginning. Women and girls all around her are making poor choices and being taken advantage of daily. But where the story of Esperanza's life is potentially tragic, her outlook remains bright. Told in short, poetic chapters, the gifts of Esperanza's attitude and spirit are highlighted, nurtured, and lovingly presented to the world.

Ever wondered what it would be like to be a child again? According to Darlene Navarre, play is an attainable state of mind, no matter your age. She presents playful ideas, concepts, and inspirational stories to combat all the boring, adult-like ways of thinking we've come to accept as normal. Encompassing everything from work/ life blend to having playful, loving relationships, the rules of this book will speak to your inner child and remind you how fun and easy it is to play.

41 year old Rory McGovern often feels like the only grown-up around--in her relationship; with her kids; and definitely at her job, working for spoiled 20-somethings who speak a lingo she doesn't recognize. Despite the hilarity of her conflicts, Rory's struggle to balance work and play is an important one for any woman wanting to have a fun life. Reviving her career while being a good mom threatens her way of life (and her marriage!), but learning to laugh at herself just might save the day.

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celebrate

Game Night

2 1

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Keep track of our favorite products by following us on Pinterest.

Celebrate play with your family using our carefully curated products for a fun game night. Follow the links to purchase

1 Popcorn Containers ($12.99, bedbathandbeyond.com)

2 Braven Balance

Bluetooth Speaker ($129.99, Braven.com)

3 Sudara Punjammies (from $44, sudara.org)*

4 DixIt Family Board Game ($24.99, toysrus.com)

5 Pretzel Bottle Opener (similar products are available from anthropologie.com)

6 Maine Root. Root Beer ($25.95, maineroot.com)

The Perpetual You is proud to support companies that give back. When you purchase Punjammies™, the money goes to an organization working to create a pathway for women to escape from sexual slavery and live in freedom. And the name–Sundara–means Beautiful in Sanskrit. We love that!

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REALIZE

Canelebrate Open Heart & the Willingness to TRY

Being an adult can be so suffocating. In addition to society placing "grown-up responsibilities" on us, we also assume our own set of rules and guidelines. The requirements to be the best version of the self we've created are overwhelming.

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

hat if you could enjoy the simplicity of playful experience without compromising your integrity and respectability?

Live adventurously: Play outside your routine. Choose something that you do on a regular basis and tweak it. Give yourself a chance. Open a different door and just see what happens. The end result of the venture might not be what you expected and your idea/experience/ effort might not ever leave the ground...or you could

soar. You can't truly know until you try. The best bits (the stuff that changes us) are usually the ones we don't plan or anticipateâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the product of the unrehearsed. Choose a different workout (yoga, spin, rock climbing)... The one you've been too intimidated to approach. Go into it with the same abandon as a child would. With the fierceness and determination to come out at the end of it with a smile on your face and sweat on your brow. Don't strive for perfection. To play is to find joy in what we are doing, just because we can. That's the simplicity, the joy, the childlike abandon of freedom without boundaries or expectations. There are no requirements for play, except perhaps to stop participating when you are no longer enjoying the experience.

Do This at Home! Challenge yourself to get dirty. Walk around barefoot. Feel the earth beneath your feet. Sit down with your kiddos while they play outside, or join them inside as they make art. Sidewalk chalk, crayons, pens, markers...draw a mandala, use a stick to make words in the sand, or just doodle in the mud. Lose yourself in the process, just for the sake of playing.

Use your imagination. Write your story. Find the joy in creating your very own fairy tale. For a little while each day, forget hiding behind being a Grown Up. Let your authentic self unfold.

Life is either a daring adventure Life is so full of everyday moments that are worthy of recognition. Summer is finding her way, living this dream and taking a moment everyday to say thank you. You can find her at airabess.blogspot.com and Instagram @airabess or #findingmywaylivingthisdream.

or nothing at all. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Helen Keller

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REALIZE

This monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Self-Care Toolkit

elebrate Cyour Inner Child

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Cinnamon Patchouli Sarasvati Opal

Each of us has our younger self hidden inside. Some haven’t seen her in a very long time, others get regular visits. When she does come out to play, our heart lights up like a campfire and our bodies feel ageless. These moments are a necessity to our survival, and to rekindling the brightness in our lives.

H E RB

ESSE N TI AL O IL

GO DDESS

CRYSTAL

Cinnamon

Patchouli

Sarasvati

Opal

B E N E F I TS

BE N E FI TS

BENEFITS

BE N E FITS

Lowers blood pressure; supports immune system health

Mental clarity; masks unpleasant odors

Goddess of the Arts; helps us express our creativity

Enhances imagination and creativity

he herb to play with this month is Cinnamon—a favorite of the kitchen herbs. We use it on toast, in drinks, and to add an extra kick to desserts. Did you know cinnamon can also fight colds, flus, viruses, and fungi? Just a little cinnamon can ease an upset tummy or balance your blood sugar. Use it in your soups, teas, and desserts to keep your immune system healthy as winter comes near. Playing can be messy! A favorite essential oil for covering unpleasant odors is Patchouli, which also brings mental clarity. If you love the smell as much as I do, use it in perfume or defuse patchouli into your house with an oil burner. Adding this sweet earthy aroma to your home this fall will make your environment feel playful to all who stop by. Feeling stuck in your play journey? Try Opal on for size. This beautiful stone comes in many colors, but the white with rainbow flecks is the most commonly used variety. Opals are a stone of inspiration, enhancing imagination

and creativity. Opals bring out a childlike spontaneity: wear it (or carry it in your pocket) when you need some inspiration. Finally, our goddess friend for the month of play & celebration is Sarasvati, the Hindu goddess of the Arts. She inspires us to express ourselves creatively, with music, writing, or dancing. If you plan to invest in a craft hobby, keep a journal, join a club, or create beautiful works of art, bring her point of view along with you. When was the last time you felt inspired or creative? Your inner child may just be waiting for an invitation. Look for her, welcome her to the party, enjoy her company.

Ashley Dees frolics around Saint Augustine Florida, picking herbs, helping find herbal remedies for people, playing with aromatherapy, tarot cards, and crystals, all while teaching and gathering goddesses together! Connect with her on her website greenharmonyaromatherapy.com.

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REALIZE

Celebrate

Grown-up Dressing Up

Do you remember playing “dress up” as a child? Maybe you had a costume box to pick and choose from or you mixed and matched your own clothes.

y children have been known to sneak into mom's closet and grab a dress, some high heels and a long beaded necklace. When I was a girl, I did the same thing and was always as proud of the creations I came up with as my children are of their own. Playing with clothes allows freedom from adult rules of fashion. That sense of abandon doesn’t have to stop at Kindergarten graduation. In fact, learning how to play in your own closet can give that same sense of freedom and fun to your “grown-up” life. You can get creative with your adult wardrobe: mixing and matching, taking your style to a new level—even dressing down can be fun! Having on your favorite pair of jeans helps you feel comfortable and happy in your body, but adding a more

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Ways to Play Dress Up

Always have fun with fashion. Dress to entertain yourself. — Betsey Johnson

Take your favorite outfit and swap out the top or bottom for something you haven't worn with it before. Even simpler—wear different jewelry and/or shoes than you usually do with that outfit. The smallest change can make you feel like you’re wearing something different & new. Mix patterns. Wear a small print and a large print within the same color scheme together.

dressed up top and shoes can give you that extra boost of confidence. Apply a playful attitude toward getting dressed, and you’ll feel confident answering an unexpected knock at the door or talking with another mom at school pick-up or soccer practice. Get creative. Push yourself out of your fashion comfort zone and play some grown-up dress up. I bet you’ll be just as proud of your “adult” concoctions as those you created so long ago.

Alice Tegtmeier is a Personal Stylist and mother of three who uses personal style as one way to helping women live authentically. You can see more of her passion for personal style, coffee, and encouragement on Instagram and Periscope: @aliteg.

Pattern-mixing shy? Try wearing one pattern in your clothing and one in an accessory, like your shoes or a handbag. Nothing wrong with working your way up the confidence ladder.

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PE R SPE CTI VES from THE P E RP E TUAL YOU

What is Scheduling time for play with my girlfriends. We indulge, laugh, and visit new places...often with literary connections. Katie (Arlington, MA)

Play?

Being open to new experiences. It is a big part of my relationship with my husband and probably why we fell in love. We have gone to Burning Man together, snuck into abandoned buildings to check out graffiti, and listened to and seen all types of music. We spend many evenings sketching (him) and coloring (me). Amy (Oakland, CA)

Losing your inhibitionâ&#x20AC;Śand sharing yourself with others. Laughter is infectious.. Kylie (Bisbane, AUS)

Finding the fun in a normalized routine or switching things up and adding joy into your day! Madison (Birmingham, AL)

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Finding ways to make memories with my children by laughing and rejuvenating each other while enjoying each other's company. Melissa (Bonner Springs, KS)

Doing anything where you don't take the outcome very seriously... where the activity itself is the goal-not winning or learning something or the thing that's being made. Christine (San Francisco, CA)

Feeling energized. Play is like currency-use it to take care of yourself. Lizz (Livonia, MI)

Letting your inner creative soul and passion for life out into the world for everyone to experience it with you. Julia (Ottawa, ON, Canada)

Play with my children comes easy, is led by my boys, and involves physical activity. Play for myself is harder and more difficult to describe. It often happens by accident: a spontaneous hour or two that appears in an over scheduled life. When those moments do occur I choose time alone or with my husband or a good friend. Playtime for me is about quiet conversation, a good book, a long Netflix binge. At this time in my life, self-care and play blend together. Melissa (North Haven, CT)

We want to hear your perspective! How do you show yourself gratitude on a regular basis? Email your answers to hello@theperpetualyou.com for a chance to be featured in next monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s issue.

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celebrate

The Perpetual You is committed to showcasing & supporting organizations that spread Joy, Ease, Fun and Wealth to women and/or girls.

Giving

This series we’re featuring the organization PACE-Orange, a leader in providing voluntary, gender-responsive alternatives to delinquency for dependent girls. We invite you to share and support the fun of PACE-Orange along with us! Girls who attend PACE centers receive:

pacecenter.org

•

Individual academic plans and tutoring, along with gender-responsive support

•

Individual transition plans and follow-up care

•

Group instruction in life skills, health, communication, and positive decision making

•

Career preparation and readiness instruction

•

Community service experience

To learn more or to give online, visit pacecenter.org/centers/orange. Sponsored by the State of Florida, Department of Juvenile Justice.

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

3 QUESTIONS WITH OUR

Cover Story

Superstar

What is one way that you celebrate PLAY on a daily basis? I’ve gotten really in touch with playfulness and energy—that sense of childhood brilliance we are born with. I’m constantly giving that inner childhood brilliance—that playful childlike ME—approval. I look at the world with wonderment and curiosity, with the energy and eyes of a child.

realize...

What part of your physical space helps you play?

How do you use play to help you stay focused?

My environment outside–I’m an avid swing set person. I go and look for swing sets. I want a bumper sticker on my car, “I stop for swing sets.” I love trampolines and climbing in the mountains. Even though I have a fear of heights, I still want to go through the challenge. Can I get a little bit higher this time?

Believe me, I have my moments where I suck and I’m terrible and miserable and get angry. I have–like some people who are like me–explosive energy, which can be good or bad. I do my best to be mindful, to be authentic. I “take it back to the playground...” I remind myself what the most important things.

dwell...

live...

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T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Who Says You Can't

child?

behave like a

How & Why to Play Everyday

Go ahead. Behave like a child.

arlene Navarre believes in the power of PLAY so much that she has built a business and a life around the concept of behaving like a child. She is the founder of GoPlazy, a company that offers alternative staff-enrichment workshops, known as “GoPlayStop,” to other companies around the country. She also makes an effort to play every single day, which is why she wrote her latest of three novels, Play is the New Way (2012). The book is full of helpful tips, inspirational stories, and personal revelations about the power of Play, particularly for busy women, who often spend their time prioritizing the needs of others.

In her book, Darlene tells of a woman who couldn’t seem to find the time to play because of the amount of housework she had to do. Darlene told her, “You’re doing the dishes anyway. Why not play at the same time?” The next time she had to do dishes, the woman sang her favorite songs aloud and moved to music and was surprised at how much more fun the “chore” became. She later added another step—putting lotion on her hands and wearing gloves while she washed, giving herself a massage at the same time.

continued on next page

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Kids live with a carefree attitude. Blending play into your life is about being open to the “energy” children have naturally. Start with something simple. What do you really like to do? “I dress up all the time,” Darlene says. “Every time I go out I’m always dressed up because I like dressing up. Playing dress up is fun.” You can also do things you remember enjoying as a child. In her book, Darlene writes about dressing up as a girl and how her mother made her feel special each and every time. This is a memory that fuels her love for looking pretty and for playing in her closet. Darlene also loves playgrounds—so much so that she’s considering getting a bumper sticker that proclaims, “I break for swing sets.” Is it really as simple as acting childlike? In short, yes. “Play does not have to be something you go out and do,” writes Darlene. “In every situation of your life there is an opportunity to be playful.” Just get started: “Play is an attitude, so put it on and let’s get playing.”

Does this woman love doing dishes now? That’s not really the point, according to Darlene. There will be moments of negativity in your life. Instead of focusing on that, see the moment as an “opportunity to create a playful experience to feel good...your sole objective in life must be to feel good now.” Making a small change, such as singing while doing a mundane task, can allow a shift in how you experience the world. “A balanced life is when you integrate your childlike self into your adult self,” Darlene says. Sound fun? Start by adopting childlike behaviors.

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Don’t be worried that carefree living will equal less productivity. Says Darlene, “You can still do your checklist, but you can do it in a way that’s through the energy and eyes of a child.” Experience play as a feeling instead of an action. Let the “energy of that playfulness boil up in you.” The world around you might not change, but you will feel differently.

Kids trust their instincts. Through a playful spirit, Darlene came to a place where she can trust what the Universe gives her, even without understanding. In her book she explains how she realized her marriage was over and accepted responsibility for her part, without blaming or shaming herself.

“Play is an attitude, so put it on and let's get playing!"

“Rather than focus on what I am missing or losing in my dissolving marriage,” she writes, “I turn my attention toward what is to come and what I am gaining by not having this relationship.” Darlene recalls watching her father go through his 25-year-long career being unhappy, but not doing anything to change it. “We get to a midlife crisis because we stop playing,” explains Darlene. “Our bodies and our brains are burned out...We look for a new relationship or a different job. We look for something outside of us instead of going back to the thing inside of us. Just open up the lock, the play—the goofiness—is still in there.”

Even if we’re game to play, we may have forgotten what playing really feels like. “If I tell a kid to go outside and play,” Darlene says, “they are going to know what I mean. They’ll figure something out. If I tell an adult, they are like, ‘What do you want me to do? What do you mean?’” Something has gotten lost in translation as we’ve grown up. Lines have been drawn: playing is for kids; behaving responsibly is for adults.

Kids make up stories and believe them. Being an adult doesn’t have to be difficult. Darlene explains: “We are told life is going to be hard. You have

to work hard in school. Relationships are going to be hard. Raising kids is going to be hard. Everything is supposed to be hard in this world.” To live freely and celebrate play, we can no longer be attached to that version of adulthood. To make up a new story, first let go of any negative messages you received growing up, whether from your parents’ beliefs or the media’s influence. For example, Darlene used to be uncomfortable crying. “Now I’m free from that,” she says, “Screw it—if I look ugly and my makeup is running, I don’t care. I’m just going to cry.’” Giving yourself permission to

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One of the greatest weapons of all is laughter, a gift for fun, a sense of play which is sadly missing from the grownup world. . . . — Madeline L'Engel

do things you aren’t supposed to do is empowering. To play by new rules, Darlene advises “getting rid of those limits.” Then, you are free to be yourself. “Play is just being free-spirited: just [the] freedom to express and be who you are—total liberation. Just be free from the limitation that there even is a limitation.” A new story can be as simple as redefining adult concepts, such as the word “challenge.” “What if it was like ‘this is going to be challenging and yet fun’? Or, ‘challenging but it’s going to give you a thirst for doing it’?” Challenges are necessary but don’t have to be hard. “If we didn’t have challenge, we would be bored,” says Darlene. A “shift” of this nature— “changing [your] mindset...deciding I’m going to stay in it”—is a big step, says Darlene. “This is the play. Going into it, being vulnerable and being messy.”

Kids explore with curiosity and a lack of inhibition. Whether they are in the back yard or in their room, children are constantly T HE PERPETUA L YOU

exploring. Their default way of living is about wanting more, which takes tons of energy. “For adults,” says Darlene, “living curiously is no longer about growing up; it’s about growing out.” In order for us to grow out at the same pace as a child who’s growing, we need energy too.

advice? To daydream—a “key element of being a kid.” Just get “to that space” where you can “meditate, daydream, and veg out,” she says.

Darlene makes it a point to MOVE, whenever possible: “If I don’t fill my body with fuel and movement then I can’t continue to go at that pace.” Sometimes this takes the form of dancing to music in her office, sometimes it means moving around more than sitting down, and occasionally it means creating things out of Playdough. “Surround yourself with things that make [work] fun” she says.

Kids aren’t seeking eternal happiness; they just want to have fun. Where we overanalyze, they simply exist. This is a danger, according to Darlene, that affects all areas of our life: from relationships to work to how we spend money. “We are all going to leave here the same way and we aren’t taking our money with us,“ she says. “Why don’t you just enjoy your life in the moment?”

In fact, exploration may be easier as an adult because of our autonomy. “No one can tell you no,” Darlene says, “You can stay out late. You don’t have the same rules. You can ride your bike in the street. You can do things that you couldn’t do as a kid.”

Living consciously is an attitude. Just as you would encourage a child to engage in play just for the sake of it, encourage yourself to be open. “Adults say: I could never do that.” Instead of knowing all the answers, says Darlene, just ask yourself the question, “What if I can?”

The other side of living curiously that adults tend to overlook is exploratory thinking. Often technology takes the place of introspection. Darlene’s

In her book, Darlene describes a time when she faced a fear of her own: heights. She began by climbing small mountains that surrounded her

Kids live—and think—in the moment.

Society Members For more fun and games, participate in our 7 day play challenge and live call-in with Darlene.

hometown a couple times a week and worked her way to climbing a large mountain in Boulder City. After a few months of regular climbing, she was able to stand atop a 78-foot telephone pole “with only a harness attached to my back” and free-fall off. In fact, she did it twice, because it “felt so good.”

Kids thrive on being around other people. Another area to live more consciously is in our relationships. “How connected are you to the people around you?” asks Darlene. Connected living is seeking friendship for what it is, and being yourself. Remember the childhood game? He likes me; He likes me not. Darlene’s version is: “He likes me. I like him...We are going to be friends.” “On the playground, we played together,” recalls Darlene. “We didn’t care what each other’s name was. We didn’t care what our color was or our gender.” Nor did we hold grudges. As a kid, says Darlene, “You have a fight with your best friend and then you make up and you are like, ‘I love you.’

“For adults, living curiously is no longer about growing up; it’s about growing out.”

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Happy girls are the prettiest. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Audrey Hepburn

“What if we just go back to the playground and we just play with our friends like when we were little kids?"

At the end of the day, you are still friends with that person.” Kids don’t focus on forever, but on having fun. As adults, we are often uncomfortable opening up. Darlene believes this is why alcohol is so prevalent at “adult” parties. Drinking is a way to “check out—to disconnect from ourselves and other people,” she says. “What if we just go back to the playground and we just play with our friends like when we were little kids?”

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Ready, Set, Play Darlene has worked with people nearing the end of their lives, and when asked what they regret most, “not having enough fun” is a common answer. To allow yourself to be carefree, and live in the moment; to explore your surroundings and play with new friends; to retell stories and re-frame messages from our childhood—all of these things can open a way to play.

Everyone is in a different place in her journey. Some may need to start hiking small mountains, and some may be ready to jump off the cliff. Regardless, your inner child is waiting to help out. “What would you do if you were a child again? “Ask that question every single time,” Darlene recommends. “When you find yourself in those moments and you are stressed out, ask how can I have more fun? Be a kid when you are an adult.”

Realize dwell to align your physical space with your

ever-evolving self

T H E F UN IS S U E

Art

Curating your

Children’s

a Little Courage & a Lot of Creativity Your toddler comes home from preschool, her first painting clutched in tiny fingers. You marvel at her impressionistic genius, cubist form, Warhol-esque use of color. Is there any other child artist so gifted, you wonder…

nd so it begins. You carefully collect every piece she brings home from that day forward and before long, those adorable early efforts have become an avalanche of artwork overwhelming your kitchen, leaving you feeling obligated to prove you really do love it. The fastest way to lose joy in your children’s achievements is to have it feel like a duty. By the time my third child entered elementary school, I dreaded that T HE PERPETUA L YOU

last day of school when they would trudge home with a giant roll of their masterpieces. Where are we supposed to put all of this? Even if you can’t approach your job as curator-inchief with the same sense of wonder as you did in the beginning, you can still have loads of fun finding ways to display it. Here are some ideas to get you started:

dwell 1

on this

Change the location.

rt isn’t just for refrigerators and dark hallways A anymore! Our modern embrace of a kid centric family means showcasing your child’s art is totally cool. Think beyond your child's room and those other out of the way places you’ve “stuck” their art. Feel free to make your children's art a seamless part of your décor: bathrooms, kitchens, family rooms, or anyplace you need a whimsical splash of color.

outside the frame. 2 Think

ew options for display include transferring N photos of their art to canvas, wall decals that set the stage of presentation, and transferring images to ceramics. A quick search online will provide a variety of options for both DIY projects and vendors who can make this happen.

way to the exhibition hall! 3 This

J ust like museums curate rotating exhibits, you can change out artwork to reflect your children's growing skills. Choose a high-traffic area where your kids can appreciate their fresh work being on display, while getting used to the idea of older pieces being replaced from time to time. Keep the pieces you really love displayed elsewhere to enjoy forever.

it up. 4 Theme

I f you have multiple children and they go to the same school, chances are each of them will create the same work, in their own fashion. At my kids' school, every first grader draws a bicycle, every second grader makes a ceramic fish plate, and so on, giving me three sets of each. Themes based on seasons, holidays, self-portraits, sports, or anything else your family enjoys work well, too.

Bring creativity home.

ddly enough, creating art with your kids can O combat the ambivalence you’re feeling towards their school portfolios. Don’t be afraid if you aren’t an “artist” – my mom let us paint on her bedroom wall. While it wasn't beautiful, her encouragement to do something that felt so taboo has stayed with me.

If all else fails, take a cue from your kids themselves. Figure out what kind of art they value and give it a special place. My daughter has a melted crayon piece made for us by someone we love, a technique she had to try herself because she thought it was so cool. Both pieces now hang side by side in her bedroom. Approach this with a little courage and a lot of creativity: you’ll be glad you did when your child artist heads off to college!

Sabrina Fedel is a writer, reluctant hockey mom, and experienced drama diffuser. You can find her at www.sabrinafedel.com where she blogs about writing, learning disabilities, and life.

T H E F UN IS S U E

DW E L L

Vintage + Tropical =

Vacation Charm

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Design Style Mix & Match Think beachy style has to be calm and serene? Think again!

Behind-the-Scenes

he St. Augustine, FL homeowner took this expansive kitchen up a notch on the Vacation Charm scale by weaving vintage furniture, cabinetry, and lighting together with an overload of tropical kitsch. Vibrant accessories in jade and red set against the sunny yellow backdrop are reminiscent of a glorious beach sunset. Intimate details like the row of bathing suits hanging out to dry and the row of miniature cacti lined up to face the sun pay homage to the life-loving community in this tourist-centric town. With large windows and french doors leading to the patio, nature is ever present, beckoning you to come on out and play. Who's ready for vacation?

For before and after look at this space, follow us on Pinterest. T H E F UN IS S U E

DW E L L

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

The Quest for the

Perfect

Playroom Who Am I Trying to Save?

So how do we live with the chaos, the ordinary mess generated by the children who live with us? The answer has to be by remembering, by forgiving, and by drawing the line — Mary Beth Danielson

Admitting you have a problem is the key to recovery. Some moms are able to accept messes as a part of life. I am not one of those moms. There should be a group for us—the moms who crave cleanliness. Hello, I'm lee lee, and I'm a mom who continues to rage war on my children by insisting they pick up after themselves. (Breaks into sobs.) I like clean, organized spaces, maybe as much as I like my children to have places in our home to play. Therein lies my conundrum. Kids don't just breed mess,

they celebrate it. Last Saturday morning, while I sat and drank my first cup of coffee on our front porch, Henri and Wayne decided that every blanket and pillow in our house was a required prop in order for them to play peacefully together. A) We have a lot of blankets: The time it took to gather them all lasted longer than the game they played. B) Who picks up the blankets? I do. The kids create, by which I mean deconstruct. I clean. I've tried asking for help, begging, bartering, bribing... They aren't interested. My three-year-old might be convinced to lend a hand on one of his good days, but the seven-year-old? No way. There's no bigger buzz rush than having to put away your fantasy the moment it ends. Who has a party and cleans up the empties before people are out the door? My plan for this house was to have the children playing up or down stairs, while my main floor living areas stayed adult-friendly. Children don't see life in terms of appropriate floors on which to play. Where they go, play goes. The vision of the perfect basement playroom became my quest. If the boys had their own space–designed but functional, organized but relaxed, expansive yet cozy– then I could have my pretty, grown-up living space(s). continued on next page

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AsÂ is typical with DIY projects, the budget was low and my expectations were high. Some of my plans worked out, some improved with time and energy, and some tanked. I got the playroom I wanted, and learned a few lessons along the way.

In the beginning, there were carpet tiles. A huge shout-out to FLOR for inventing the greatest thing since pre-sliced English muffinsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;carpet squares that are both cooler and cuter than ANY carpet out there. The tiles come in almost any color you can imagine and a thousand patterns or more. For the budget-minded consumer like myself, they also have an online outlet. The tiles are easy to install, provided you understand basic math principles (which I do not by the way, but I married into the knowledge), and easier to take up and replace should a spill occur. Root Beer in the playroom? Go right ahead, kids! The only

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

difficult thing about this genius, lifesaving product is deciding on a color scheme. I knew I wanted bright colors, and we had a TON of sq. footage to cover, so making a selection was, in part, just a matter of price versus availability. After I found a tile we could afford that came in four different colors, the color scheme for the basement had been chosen: Pink, Blue, Orange, and Green. I also ordered a smattering of black and white patterned tiles just because I'm, well, me.

If we buy a new couch, the boys wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a college fund. If you've ever designed a living space, or even just sat in one, you know that the primary piece of furnitureâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the sofaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is the hardest to select and the most expensive to purchase. Additionally, any furniture going in a designated playroom has to be durable, and durable furniture is not beautiful.

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T H E F UN IS S U E

This space would also have to do double duty in the event of overnight guests. That left us two terrible options: futon or sleeper sofa. This is the point in the planning process when rather than giving up, I just gave in—mostly because we’d just had a futon bequeathed to us by the in-laws that I was eager to find a place for. While it didn't necessarily scream "fun," the kids had already tested its ability to withstand little boy tornadoes. I switched out the sensible, beige fabric with the brightest, fuzziest yellow blankets known to the world—oops, did I just add a 5th color to this ample color scheme?—and threw in some brightly clad body pillows. All of these things are changeable and, more importantly, fun to throw at passersby.

This playroom is brought to you by the following sponsors: Duct Tape; Ikea; My Child, the Artist; and the Kindness of Strangers. That's right. Other than the couch, every piece of furniture was either a curbside giveaway or a less-than-$20 Craigslist find. This really had less to do with the blown-on-flooring budget and everything to do with the knowledge that my children were going to jump on, stand on,

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

and—in some cases—throw everything in the space. Ever wondered why playground equipment is uberheavy and nailed to the ground? This is why! Two nice things about "found" furniture: I have no personal attachment to it, and it's already lasted a long time so I can assume it will survive my children. The downside to found furniture, in addition to lugging it home, is that the finish is probably outdated. In fact, there's a high likelihood it's a glossy and curious mix of black and brown. No worries, though. Since the advent of DIY, you can buy a primer that will bond paint to any finish and spray paint in practically any color. When I got tired of painting, I started covering things in tape. I also discovered the many ways fabric can change the look of something, not the least of which was turning an oversized octagonal coffee table into a soft landing spot for tiny tushes. When it came to artwork, I took advantage of my son's natural

inclinations and commissioned several brightly colored pieces. Family pictures in Ikea frames were the finishing touch. The things we did spend money on? Lighting—I have no less than a thousand light sources down there (after all, it's a basement!!); basically, if I saw something in black that I liked and could afford, I bought it –and Materials/Labor. Luckily, we had a carpenter friend who paneled the walls, reinforced the stairs, and built a custom bookshelf for toys and books, which kept the high cost of labor super-low. After about six weeks of working (nearly) around the clock, I had my dream playroom. We celebrated by inviting family over and letting the cousins go wild. I drank a glass of red wine, without worrying about spilling it on the carpet, while everyone appreciated the art and the color scheme.

We hit a bump on the road to freedom.

The playroom is perfect, but I’m not.

Fast forward a couple months to that time of year when it has been cold long enough that being outside is no longer fun—that time of year when having a basement playroom is like having a goldmine. I was a full-time mom with a first grader, a 2-year-old, and a perfect playroom. So why was I stressed out, why were they stir crazy, and why wasn't anyone playing in the damn playroom? There were swings in our house, for Pete's sake! We were supposed to be having fun.

At first, I was just confused. Then came regret. And then I got pissed. Spoiled brats, I thought. We made the playroom for THEM and they don't appreciate it. I seriously considered threatening to give the playroom away to more deserving children. Luckily, I didn’t. Instead, I thought about what was wrong with the playroom from their perspective instead of mine. Then I realized: I had left out a critical component in my design plan. Me. The kids don't care where the playing takes place; they care whether I'm there playing with them.

Apparently, I had overestimated my children's desire for independent, worry-free playtime. There was obviously an element of their having fun that hinged on my being annoyed. Moving all the toys downstairs had freed up plenty space for them to chase each other through the house or—my personal favorite—to bring toys out of the playroom and spread them out everywhere. The times we did convince them to play downstairs, they usually ended up playing ON the stairs, which is pretty much my least favorite place to play of all time. I get it. No one expects a toddler (especially an extroverted one) to play in a basement by himself; not even me! But once we found ourselves using the playroom as a consequence—Do that one more time and you will be playing in your fabulous playroom, buddy! Be nice to your brother or you're both going downstairs to play!—I began to wonder where we'd gone wrong. Why had we spent all that time, energy, and money on a space our boys didn't even want to be in?

I wish I could say that I figured this out and instituted a daily family playtime, but I'm not yet fully evolved. However, I have begun to spend more time with my children, in their own spaces—sometimes in the playroom, sometimes not. I try to play for a little bit, before resorting to my default mode: observation-and analysis. Last year, when winter was at its worst, we established a little routine. During the hour between when Henri got home from school and Dad was not yet home from work, I'd take the boys downstairs and we'd pile on that cozified futon and read aloud together—Mommy’s favorite way to play. Typically, this would start out as relaxing and turn into something more like me trying to read while they jumped over one another or fought over who would sit closest to me. Curiously, this doesn’t bother me; it’s when the blankets start being used as props that I get twitchy. As the witching hour would finally end, the boys would calm down enough to color quietly or line their

cars up without fighting over which car belonged to which boy. As long as I could ignore the havoc two children can wreak in a matter of mere minutes, I could sit back and relax and enjoy playtime.

Playing isn’t for the faint of heart. We recently had a party at which several neighborhood children, a few cousins, and my boys inhabited the playroom as though it were the greatest place on earth. At random, two or three of them would run through the "adult" party upstairs, their fantasy play expanding outside of the realm of just one floor. We laughed at how they were each dressed in a completely different outfit every time they passed by. After our attention subsided, they would descend once again, leaving us in a quieter, calmer—and less fun space. Their play was infectious, righteous. I struggled to remember a time when my boys had been happier. Maybe this is all the playroom has to be, I thought, a safe haven, a place where kids can be themselves and not get in trouble as a result. The location and design and all those other things that I focused on were important, just not to them. All kids require is a place where they can feel, be, and do what comes naturally to them. I need to stop worrying about the number of hours the playroom is occupied— it was my job to make the space available, but it’s their job to play in it. When I can, I play with them. And I try to be present while doing so. I’m not even worried about who’s going to pick up the toys after we play. Most of the time. H

T H E F UN IS S U E

“ Only where

children

gather is there any real chance of

fun.”

— Mignon McLaughlin

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

Realize live to align your innermost thoughts with your

ever-evolving perspective

T H E F UN IS S U E

LIVE

Showing up

in the photos

Focus on the Memories,

not the Image

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

I know you. I see what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing: planning, cleaning, making sure everything looks perfect and everyone is happy. You plan outings, host family & friends and your parties are always amazing. You snap photos of the main events and the everyday moments. You always have something on the agenda. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never a dull moment with you in charge.

here’s virtue in knowing how to facilitate a perfect family outing or making your kid’s birthday party the most memorable experience he’ll ever have. Where are you in all of this? Oh, of course you were there—but do you have the photos of yourself to prove it? You love planning parties and events, but rarely do you enjoy the actual party and you certainly don’t enjoy the photos! You are usually on the sidelines– always the coach but never the player. Why not let go and let yourself join in the fun? You’ve had billions of photo ops and yet, when someone offers to take the picture with you IN it, you often refuse. You’re always armed with a great excuse about why you’d rather not be photographed. Your hair’s a mess, you haven’t put on your party outfit yet, you want one with just your kids & their Dad, you haven’t applied your gloss, you just need to lose 15 lbs first... At the end of the day, how often you show up in photos mirrors whether you’ve shown up in your own life. If you’re too self-conscious to pose with your close friends & family, what else in life are you holding back from because of your body image? As women, we are bombarded with images of society’s idea of the ‘perfect woman.’ Nobody resembles these images (thank you, Photoshop) and yet, we hold ourselves to that standard, becoming disappointed and distraught when we see an image of ourselves that doesn’t resemble the models plastered all over the magazines in the grocery checkout line. With all this

expectation of perfection, why on Earth would we ever want to pose for a photo? We feel such pain when we hate the image we see of ourselves. We pick ourselves apart, cry and vow to never be in another photo again. Since we can’t look perfect for our photos we often run ourselves ragged trying to make the events we organize (and our lives) look perfect instead. We forget to enjoy ourselves and most of all we forget to play. This keeps us in the background, out of the fun, out of the ‘picture’. When you shy away from family photo ops, you’re sending a message, albeit an unintended one, that you do not wish to be involved. Have you ever shown a picture of yourself to your kids and heard them say, “Wow momyou really need to lose that double chin!”? No. When children see photos of their mom, they remember a time when she was involved, jumped in to play. They look at that photo and see their Mom: Comforting, happy, loving and beautiful. How disappointed they would be not to see your smiling face! Love them enough to worry less about your self-image and more about making (and keeping) important memories with your rapidlygrowing children. Here’s the best reason to let our pictures be taken: our kids look at us to set an example for self-esteem and self-worth. When you run away from the camera or verbally pick yourself apart when going through photos,

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Instagram Challenge Share your family photos on Instagram to be entered in this month's contest. Use #theperpetualyou and #celebrateplay for a chance to win.

you’re giving the message that looking perfect is more important than enjoying the moment or being thankful that you are with the people you love most. Try looking at photos of yourself the way you would your children, close friends, and parents—with love and adoration. Focus on what the photo represents–a captured moment of a beautiful time with amazing people. Concentrate on how you feel when you are present with your family and friends. Life is passing us by; each moment is unique, a gift we can only receive once. When you put too much emphasis on how you look, you ruin the experience of the memory. By making comments about yourself, you draw your child’s attention away from what’s important, the positivity of the memory, and pull them into the space of your negative self-image. Be grateful for all the perfectness of the imperfect parts of your life...look around you, smile, and say “cheese!” Poet Mary Schmich once said, “Trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.” Starting now, hand your phone to someone else and jump in there with the rest of your loved ones. When you flip through photos with your adult children and grandchildren 20 years from now, you will see yourself laughing, playing, and holding your children tight.

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You are a player in your life, making memories with your people. Appreciate your important role. You are the essential element that brings everyone together. When you realize that you are a vital source of happiness for your family, your flaws will fade and you will begin to see your beauty. Be in the here and now, focus on the memories, and let yourself show up in the photos.

Maureen Witten is an Intuitive Eating Counselor, Certified Health Coach and Body Love Advocate. She teaches women to make peace with food and exercise using her 5-Step Intuitive Eating Program. To learn more, visit : beyourselfwellness.com.

“ Have regular hours for work and

play;

Make each both useful and pleasant... Then youth will be delightful, Old age will bring few regrets, And life will become a

beautiful success. ”

— Louisa May Alcott

T H E F UN IS S U E

Society Members Take your play awareness to the next level with our guided mediation.

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

LIVE

OCTO BER M ANT RA

I give myself permission to

play

every single day.

T H E F UN IS S U E

P OE TRY BY

Kate Kearns Rasberrying She squashes them between her tiny thumb and index finger like faceless heads. Juices stain the creases in her palms as though the veins have come forward to map their innermost lines. The ripe ones let go at her slightest tug, leave behind the white interior so easily. They want to be picked. Smooth, taut, and fragile as eyes, the skin resists then releases in her fingers. The grass is blackened. She lifts her hands to lick them clean and squints at the taste.

Tidal Reach

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Iambically the waves rinse my feet and retreat, quiet as vespers, back to the Kennebec, this shore to which I’m always returning. The sun makes a cut down the wet, flat sand as it crouches closer to the river mouth. Every surface is a mirror; her tiny feet leave smudges along the water’s edge. The ocean didn’t mean to be a metaphor in which we wash our questions. Toward shore, away, toward me, away, the pull and release reaches just so far. I want to tell her all of it, my little Thunderfoot. It’s too soon, of course. Still for the first time all day, she stands looking out; the water makes its way around her feet.

LIVE

Steal

your

Own Show Returning to a Natural State of Play

T H E F UN continued I S S U E on | next 55 page

...if I can retain a child’s awareness and joy, and be fiftyone, then I will really learn what it means to be a grownup. — Madeline L'Engel

This summer, NBA star Stephen Curry won three awards in one night at the Kids’ Choice Sports Awards. He won “Best Male Athlete”, “Clutch Player of the Year” & “Sickest Moves.” A great night of recognition for years of hard work put into his profession. But the media didn’t focus on this. Instead the headlines were about his captivating date, his little two-year-old daughter, Riley. Riley stole the show by showing her authentic self with her genuine reactions to her father’s name being called out. This progressed from a frozen stare, clapping, high fives and dancing to her breakthrough run to get on stage! A personal favourite show stealing moment of hers was before the ceremony even began when she unashamedly yawned whilst thousands of photos were taken on the red carpet.

ver noticed that children always steal the show? Why is that? Because they are naturals at being in “the state of play.” Children show their true, innate, wondrous selves and it’s mesmerizing. Play is not a tangible thing; it is a state of mind. Play is not one size fits all, either. It looks different to different people and changes over time. Play comes naturally to children, but the good news is we're never too old to play. In fact, play is

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

essential for physical, emotional and spiritual health for all of us. Here are four reasons why I want you to incorporate a play reset in your life:

1. Play benefits mental health. Children's natural state or homeostasis point is a state of play. They are nearly always ready for play and regularly seek opportunities to play. When does our homeostasis

point switch to stress & hard work? At the age of 21? When we purchase a house or get a real job? If you've ever found yourself with that nagging feeling of “things being left undone” or with the need to worry about something when you could be enjoying down time, then your mental health is suffering. Mental health is related to and just as important as your physical health. Play reduces stress which is beneficial for our mental health and wellbeing. As Dr. Stuart Brown put it:

“The opposite of play is not work, the opposite of play is depression.” Play helps us build new neural pathways in the brain and releases feel good chemicals. Play can quieten the fight, fright or flight response by reducing blood flow to the amygdala (our primal emotional memory store). In other words, play helps ease anxiety, increases a sense of calm and prevents you from flying off the handle! There is the saying, “what you focus on, grows.” If you focus on seeking out play opportunities and fun, rather than the things that did or could go wrong, you will find more fun, laughter and sparks in everyday moments. Become a magnet for fun and enjoy living life (yes, even on a rainy Monday morning).

2. Play promotes wellness. Recent research has found adults that regularly engage in playful and creative activities reduce their risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Play helps reset the appetite point in children decreasing their chance of obesity. Societies deficient in play have higher prevalence of depression, violence, addiction and stress-related illnesses. Play releases oxytocin which is often called “the love hormone”—well known as the hormone released between a mother and her infant when feeding. However it also surges from play, hugs, laughter and moments of intimacy (yes that includes, but is not limited to, sexy time). It is not precisely known how play stimulates oxytocin production but it may be related to the positive heartfelt emotions play creates. Studies have shown that positive emotions such as excitement, gratitude, joy, wonder, awe, enthusiasm and trust release oxytocin. The play-oxytocin link may also be continued on next page

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through the bodily movement often found in play. Oxytocin receptor sites have been found in different areas of the body like the intestines and heart. Benefits of increased oxytocin in the body include reduced stress, increased well-being, improved immune system, digestion, more balanced hormones and a more of that warm lovey feeling in your heart. Who doesn’t want more of that? You might even say the whole point of life is getting more oxytocin. As the Beatles more poetically said, “All you need is love.” If you want to strengthen any relationship, bring in some spontaneous play and feel your connection and happiness grow.

3. Play offers challenges. Have you ever wondered why you think of that solution when you’re doodling or daydreaming out the window? Or why your best ideas come to you when you’re in the shower or on a walk? When we enter our own creative play space within our minds we activate the unconscious parts of our brain in the T HE PERPETUA L YOU

right hemisphere. This area, unlike the left hemisphere which tends to work in a linear fashion, works in a more fluid creative manner often beyond our conscious awareness. Spend even a short amount of time with a young child who is freely playing and you’ll realize how much learning and problem solving comes from play. I once watched my friend’s 18-month-old daughter play with a pair of shorts for at least an hour. She must have put her two legs in one hole a hundred times! She kept persisting and trying out different variations, laughing along the way at the “pickles” she got herself into. She soon mastered this really complex task—despite the limited co-ordination and motor control skills of a toddler! As Carl Jung said, “Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.” In play, we manipulate and explore our surroundings. If you're in need of inspiration, engage in some sort of play. For a child, play might mean exploring how to best dress Teddy up; for adults, it looks different

but the possibilities are endless: fiddling with a bracelet, re-arranging your desk, wandering in the park during your lunch break. The key is to seek out novelty and experience the present moment. You will have new perspectives and may even be surprised by what is right in front of you. “I never noticed that tree stump there before.” “It feels so fresh to walk this new route home.” or even “I didn't realise I could wear my hair that way.” When we get out of our intellect and back into our bodies and the present moment, we can access our own innate creative problem-solving tool kit.

4. Play incorporates mindfulness. Play keeps us in the present. Play is a state of mind or practice. An attitude of playfulness is an open mind and sense of curiosity. When we’re fully in the moment we are not dwelling in the past or getting anxious about the future. Play helps us re-calibrate and get centered, with practice of course!

(See page 61 to find out how to reset play in your life.) Play, like mindfulness, is more about the process and practice than the outcome. In play, we are free from pressures to perform. We are in a state of flow and surrender. Instead we are free to just “be.” Instead of taking out a pen with the intention to write something down, try picking up a pen and moving it around however you feel. What happens? Let’s face it, not all of us are suited to or ready for regular meditation. Play is a way to reach a meditative state for those of us who are naturally more active bunnies. Play can be about noticing and observing in the present moment, allowing and checking in with our inner voice. This may come more naturally to you than sitting on a pillow with mala beads! Just like meditation, play is selfgenerated and self-rewarding. Personally, I love getting lost in a good daydream. There is no product or external reward for it; the pleasure all comes from within. When you let

yourself off the hook and actually play you are practicing self care and self awareness, deepening your connection to your inner and innate wisdom.

Bonus reason: Play is fun! We never know when our life will be up. Time is our most precious resource so we should spend it wisely. Making a commitment to have fun on the way to reaching my goals makes me feel happier, more in touch with myself and more fulfilled. When did we collectively decide to become so serious as “grown ups”?! This month, I challenge you to hop aboard the Play Reset train!

Let’s round this up! In summary, there are plenty of reasons to step up play in your life. Your mind, body and soul will reap

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Instagram Challenge Show off your playful spirit on Instagram this month to be entered in our October giveaway! Just use #thePerpetualYOU and #celebrateplay.

the benefits. Play has been belittled and overlooked for too long.

“I tried it all, I really don’t have time to play.”

I know, I know. I can almost hear you saying now, “I want to play but there’s just no time, I have responsibilities, I wish I could play more but…..”

I was up against some serious deadlines during my play reset. Ask yourself, "How can I bring a sense of Play to the moment?” Allow yourself to brainstorm, “wouldn't it be funny if...” “Wouldn't it be great if I ...” Follow that. Be silly and you give others permission too. Remember laughter releases endorphins and stuck energy.

Don’t worry! I’ve been there. Here’s what I say to you. What could you let yourself off the hook for? Could you schedule in everything including time for play? Could you save time by streamlining routine tasks? For me, meal and outfit planning once a week was a life changer freeing up head space and giving me time for more fun. “I’m worried I will run out of ideas or feel bored” For this, I prepared a play emergency toolkit. I always have on hand my handbag-sized colouring book, favourite essential oil & 85% dark chocolate. Savouring these pleasures lets me focus on the moment and brings me back to a state of play.

T HE PERPETUA L YOU

“Everything’s gone wrong” A favourite approach when obstacles or mishaps happen is to take a moment and say to yourself (or even better out loud) “plot twist!” Perhaps the universe has presented to you a new unique play opportunity? An adventure you couldn’t have planned for. Before you do start a play reset, there is something important you should know...You don’t always have to be happy in play. A range of emotions come up when we manipulate and

play around with things in the external world, internal processes are triggered in our internal world. We may not fully understand why the emotions or sensations happen but all emotions are useful and all we can do is acknowledge it and feel it in that moment. Emotions move, nothing is permanent—happiness and joy are coming around again. Even if you are uncomfortable playing at first, I can tell you from personal experience that it is worth overcoming the resistance you are feeling now. Check out my play reset action steps, and give it a try! A more playful, happier woman has a positive effect on those that surround her.

Rachel is a play therapist, filial parent play coach and teacher who is passionate about educating parents and professionals on discovering their inner child. For more play inspiration, check out Rachel's posts from her last play reset as part of #playfulmay over at @fullcupplaytherapy and Facebook.com/fullcupplaytherapy.

Make a “go to” list

Play

Steps to a 31 Day for your play reset by writing down at least 5 things you do that are simple & fun; or just write down times in the past you’ve felt engaged, playful, or in flow. This will give you an idea of the ways you already like to play. (Even if you can't sing Beyoncé full pelt at that very moment you can imagine and feel what that feels like and bring that playful attitude to your current activity. Cue dishwashing diva!)

Create a “time to play”

reminder on your phone so that, each day, you are held accountable for your play goals. Be positive! Mine says: “You can do this! You’re a born player!” I also encourage you to start a notebook (paper or electronic) to write down your play activities as well as any emotions or questions that come up for you during your daily play. Be ready: A change in our outer world sparks changes in our inner world.

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Reset

Schedule your play reset.

Choose a specific day in the calendar to start, and write it down. You’ll be playing for an entire month (31 days!), so choose (and plan) accordingly. This gives you a deadline, and you’re not one to miss deadlines. Are you?

Challenge a friend to do her play reset at the

same time as you. There’s nothing better than knowing someone else is committed to the same goals you are so pick up that phone, send that text or email, or—if you’re really brave—post something on Facebook or Instagram. Even if you end up going it alone, you will find yourself connecting to others on similar journeys—whether your family, your friends & colleagues, or even strangers on the street—because a natural part of a playful spirit allows for being open to new people and fun moments.

Choose to prioritize play.

Instead of immediately begging that "Busy Barbara" voice inside your head that says "I'm too busy to play" to fudge off, acknowledge her. After all, we’re making big changes here! Remind yourself (and Barb’s pesky cousin “No Time Tina”) that play is just as important as other tasks and demands your time for your wellbeing. You got this girl!

Allow yourself to mess up the play reset. Stressing about play is counterproductive! Before you go to sleep, do a little stretch and enjoy it. Tell yourself you're open to more play tomorrow. At least a minute of play is a day not wasted. Also… What kind of things would you say to your children if they were feeling overwhelmed or struggling to do a task? Say them to yourself! And… Be your own parent! Do loving things for yourself. Strive for wholeness and balance, not perfection.

T H E F UN I S S U E

Society Join the Movement