The Wealth Issue
Transform Traveling with
Tsh Oxenreider
KNOW WHERE YOU ARE (14) • GET CREATIVE (48) • KEEP GOING (90)
You started your business because you want to share your gifts with the universe. I did, too. (high five!)
I'm a web & graphic designer for do-good, feel-good businesses.
Overwhelmed and not sure where to start? You want something you're proud of that represents you & your work. You want something that potential clients will see and think, "yes please!" That's what I want for you, too. I provide next-level design support so you can focus on your clients and the amazing work you love! CDG@chantelledavisgray.com
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
We believe in choosing, embracing, unleashing, and celebrating who you've always been – who you already are – who you want to be.
Be YOU...the Perpetual You.
F IN D U S @THEPER PETU A LYOU
L ET T ER from our ED I T O R
S
everal years ago, I released the old adage, “Change is hard.” Change is hard means someone
else has the control. Change is hard means I have to struggle to survive. No thanks.
THE
Transformation—on the other hand— can be personal. No one dictates that we transform (go ahead, stay
THE OFFICE The Perpetual You 101 Putnam Ave. Hamden, CT 06517
stuck forever and see if the world complains!). Rather, we choose to transform because we’re ready. While transformation can affect external change, it’s inherently
THE LIST
internal, coming about when we you get real, sit in the shit, and shut out anyone
To receive each issue of the
unhelpful. You nurture yourself, feed your desires, redefine your values. You set
magazine directly to your inbox, join our mailing list at: theperpetualyou.com/read.
intentions. You trust your own wisdom. Transformation, because it’s personal, is also emotional, in a momentous sort of way. In fact, it happens only at the exact right moment: when we are both completely at peace
T H E C O M MU N I T Y Look for us on social media @theperpetualyou.
with who we are and ready to welcome the new. Transformation is a paradox, then—both predestined and singular to this place and time. Transformation is glorious (think butterfly) and meaningful (think growing pains) and alluring (think wealth).
THE SOCIETY Meet like-minded women in our private FB group, The Perpetual You Society.
Is transformation hard? Not if you’re ready for it. Not if you’ve chosen it. Not if you give yourself the time it takes, however long that might be. In an intentional life, transformation IS inevitable, though. For we are always choosing, ever expanding our consciousness. Relentless in the desire to become who we are, we perpetually transform.
THE S U B S C R I P T I O N Sign up for our PRINT magazine at bit.ly/TPYandyou.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Be water. Flowing, flexible, and soft. Subtly powerful and open. Wild and serene. Able to accept all changes, yet still led by the pull of steady tides.
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P H O T O by @ L I F E U N S T I L L
– VICTORIA ERICKSON
F IN D U S @THEPER PETU A LYOU
IN THIS ISSUE
Create Wealth by Embracing Transformation M O N T H LY M US I C
Ground yourself with this month's "Growth Mindset" playlist on Spotify at bit.ly/TPYplaylists.. T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Embrace
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Embrace a new way of living to discover what you loved about yourself all along. With Tsh Oxenreider, Author/Mom/Traveler. WITH PHOTOGR APHER SIMI SHONOWO
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Realize 14
Ease into new routines that come with Transformation and stay open to all the abundance that growth brings along.
Lifestyle Living the Process........................................... 14 Going Green................................................... 30 Getting Comfy................................................ 34
TPY Faves Books.............................................................. 17 Home Cooked Food ...................................... 18
30
a Healthy Cocktail ......................................... 20 YOGA.............................................................. 22 Products......................................................... 24 Self-Care......................................................... 32
Plus photos of Puerto Rico by @beccabliss_
34 T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
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Dwell Elevate your living space to meet your minute-by-minute needs and conform to your ideal lifestyle.
Design Lingering at the Coffee Bar.............................. 42 Creating Space in the Closet............................. 44 Believing in the Process.................................... 48
48
90
Live Eschew the familiar and choose to forge your own path instead—mindfully, positively, and uniquely YOU.
Mindset Personalizing Transformation........................ 80 Believing in Yourself ..................................... 84 Realizing the Dream ..................................... 90
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F IN D U S @THEPER PETU A LYOU
T H E MA K ERS
Our makers consistently share their time & talents. We'd love to introduce you to the lovely ladies who contributed to this month's issue.
Simi
Markie
Cover Photography
Dwell Feature Photographer
@uchephotography uchephotography.com
@markiejonesphotographyllc markielynne.com
As the owner of Uche Photography, Simi considers it
Markie is a PNW Wedding photographer and mother
her privilege to capture life's moments, to tell unique stories through her photography. She recognizes photography as a medium that records the ordinary and preserves life's moments. A fine-art wedding and lifestyle portrait photographer, Simi loves what she does; photography is her calling and her passion. This is Simi's first cover story shoot for The Perpetual You.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
to two adorable little fireball girls and two rather overactive dogs who loves to find new adventures around the Bonney Lake area. She enjoys photographing intimate engagement sessions and weddings throughout the Greater Seattle Area.This is Markie's second dwell feature shoot for The Perpetual You.
Lee Lee Creative Director & Managing Editor
Jessie
P.K.
Art Director
Proofreader
@leeleeinp
@littlelegendsdesign littlelegends.com
Connect on Facebook
Liann
Micayla
Kelly
Content Editor
Books Editor
Collaborating Photographer
@hilodaisy
@uggly_mugg zucchiniontheceiling.com
@kfpphotography kellyfpeterson.com
Amanda Luisa
Kay
Krystal
Collaborating Photographer
Collaborating Photographer
Mantra Siren
@amandaluisaart amandaluisa.com
@walkerstudiosllc walkerstudiosllc.com
@krystalbrandt krystalbrandt.com
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Meaghan
Dana
Contributing Artist
Collaborating Artist
Collaborating Artist
@danutzi danadesignillustration.com
@thisdelightfuldesign katieclarkk.com
@meaghanpelderkin meaghanelderkin.com
Katie
Calling all Creative Ladies! TPY collaborates with artists, photographers, writers, and more. Visit bit.ly/TPYcollab for current opportunities!
Let me help your brand
Words by Lee Lee
Branding & Graphic Design for Passionate Business Owners.
Values-Based Copywriting for Cause-Based Businesses.
Let's start a conversation! j@createlittlelegends.com
wordsbylee@gmail.com
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
to align your daily practices with your ever-evolving desires
I L L U S T R A T I O N by M E A G H A N E L D E R K I N
THE LADY
Marsha P. Johnson Martha “Pay it No Mind” Johnson was a beloved and revered mother figure of the LGBT community in NYC from the 60s to ‘90s. A self-identified drag queen, Johnson helped to progress gay rights and transform the plight of many people, from the homeless to young trans youth.
W O R D S by P. K . M C G I L L
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Two appropriate responses to circumstance we have no control over: find a safe place and curl up, or open fully and feel it. – ELENA AMODEO T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
E M B R AC E T H E
Messy Middle with Marie Levey-Pabst
The transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly—one of nature's greatest examples of extreme transformation—shows us just as much about process as it does the end result.
H
ere is a fun fact. Inside the chrysalis that forms, the
a moth, or a broken shell of a cocoon. We have faith. We have
caterpillar's body digests itself from the inside out.
hope. We do not have certainty.
Only after it has been turned into a type of primordial
ooze can it be regenerated into a gorgeous butterfly. For women like you and me, transformations lead to amazing opportunities, growth, and wealth. I bet you can think of several transformations in your life that led to a new version of you, a new career, a new phase of life that you are grateful for. You’ve probably become a butterfly a few times over. Still, we tend to forget what it feels like to be in the stage of primordial ooze. This messy part of transformation requires letting go. Sometimes this means letting go of a version of ourselves
This messy part of transformation might seem like it’s just about survival; however, if we embrace this messy part of transformation then it will be an opportunity to THRIVE. What does it mean to embrace transformation? Transformation means letting go of something (or several somethings) even when our natural instinct is to cling. If we hold on to what we’ve built and created as we move into our next phase, what is familiar and safe can hold us back.
F I R S T, A C K N O W L E D G E W H E R E Y O U W E R E .
we always thought we would be. Sometimes, we must
Simple rituals help us let go with gratitude. Journal about past
let go of something that is “good enough” with hope for
accomplishments. Write down the parts of your business, your
something magnificent.
career, or your parenting that you are letting go of on pieces of
This messy part of transformation rests in uncertainty. We don’t know if we will emerge on the other side as a butterfly,
continued on next page
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paper and stick them in a box to be opened again a year from now. Or say words of thanks and burn them along with incense.
N E X T, F I N D FA M I L I A R C O M F O R T S I N T H E N O W. As you sit in that space of uncertainty and primordial ooze anything familiar is comforting. Whether it’s making your favorite foods during your rebrand, or re-reading a favorite book as you unlearn your old parenting style, find comfort and familiarity where you can.
D O T H E S T E P S – E S P E C I A L LY T H E LITTLE ONES. Spend some time each day focused on just the next step. Write that first article or blog post. Brainstorm 10 new taglines. Plan that one practice trip before your big adventure. The smaller the step, the more attainable it will seem. Write the first paragraph, list your five favorite backpacking tents, etc.
Reflect + Release The following prompts will allow you to embrace transformation! Take 15 minutes to think about and respond in writing to the following questions: • Make a list of transformations you have gone through in the past. Choose one and take five minutes to write about what it was like to be in the middle of it. What are you most grateful for in this transformation? What is your next transformation, and what specific ways will
EMBRACE THE MESSY MIDDLE. During times of transformation, we get told to focus on the end goal. But that messy middle space has so much to offer! The middle of the transformation is where we build strength, where we gain raw knowledge of who we are,
you embrace that middle stage?? • What part of transformations or transitions are most uncomfortable for you? Get really specific about where you feel discomfort. What have you learned in these uncomfortable places? What opportunities could they (or have they) offered you?
and where we grow. It’s pretty powerful, even when it feels like we are covered in primordial ooze.
Find rituals that resonate with you to help you feel gratitude and say farewell to the parts of you that need to be left behind in this new transformation. Your ideal life may seem too big or too far away, but you can take small, attainable steps forward. Once you start moving, it’s that much more challenging to turn back.
Marie Levey-Pabst is the founder of the Create Balance method. She teaches parents to create balance between family, work, and personal fulfillment. Connect with Marie at @CreateBalanceCommunity on Facebook or at CreateABalancedLife.com.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
P H O T O by @ C A T B A L L O U 2 4
H ER- S T O RI ES
How to Be a Bawse
Transformations
Kay’s Lucky Coin Variety
by Lilly Singh, Pub. 2017
by Anne Sexton, Pub. 1971
by Ann Y. K. Choi, Pub. 2016
No quick tips guide to success, How to be
An arresting and challenging collection,
Mary, is growing up in downtown Toronto
Bawse is a manifesto meant for those ready
Transformations is one of Sexton’s most
in the 1980’s, where her parents own a
to claim the work they love, and then work
ambitious projects. Yet, the world she’s
convenience store – Kay’s Lucky Coin Variety.
consistently to achieve their dreams. Lilly Singh
writing is easy to get lost in, if we are willing.
In this modern Korean-Canadian household,
began as a YouTube superstar and has grown
As the poet, the speaker, the characters, and
the pressure to perform academically and
into a worldwide sensation, inspiring millions
the reader take this journey together, we
conform to cultural practices is strong. Within
to conquer life through authenticity, positivity,
wonder at our stories, challenge our norms,
these confines, she learns how to step into her
and hard work. This is the book that will kick-
and—ultimately—get to know ourselves a tiny
own truth, and sift through the cultural ideals
start transformation by reminding us how
bit more.
of her parents. Observing Mary watching the
GOOD heart-centered work feels.
world around her is as transformative for the reader as it is for our heroine.
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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
E M B R AC E
Momentum with Rachel
Haas
In moments of dynamic transformation, homemade dinners call to us, conjuring up newfound appeal.
A
utumn’s beginning acts as a catalyst—a stirring
Meat can be browned or forgone. Layers upon layers are
of change in the air that brings us to a place of
constructed, and then relinquished to the graces of a hot
readiness. Organizing one’s space, freshening up the
oven. Off you go to accomplish other things.
brand logo, making a slight change in direction, learning new skills to bolster our businesses and minds.
Cooking is one of those things people so often want to learn, but write off as too complicated or time-consuming. Yet,
Food goes hand in hand with this momentum. A search in
simple tasks and minimal ingredients can add up to a steamy
the pantry might reveal a smattering of basic staples, easily
masterpiece, ready to fill the belly and stimulate the mind—
transformable into a beautiful, filling, and nourishing dish.
whether for one, or for a crowd.
Lasagna is one of those secrets, appearing complicated while actually being delicate, simplistic. Fresh tomatoes reduced with spices and simmered slowly
Feast on more of Rachel's food experiences at @lusciouswordsandcurls or R-L-Haas-Writer.
while cheese is grated and noodles are counted out.
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Lemongrass Lychee Fizz 1 tsp chopped fresh lemongrass 1/4 oz fresh lime juice 1/4 oz simple syrup 1 oz lychee juice (canned is fine) 1.5 oz vodka 1.5 oz dry sparkling wine ice stalk lemongrass + lime wedge for garnish Muddle lemongrass with lime juice and syrup. Add lychee juice, vodka, and ice; shake 15 seconds.Add sparkling wine and stir. Strain into ice-filled Collins glass. Enjoy!
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
Prefer a mocktail instead? Check out FoodandWine.com/ recipes/lychee-fizz.
Lemongrass Lychee Fizz Health benefits + a cocktail? Yes, please! Okay, so maybe multi-tasking is a myth but must we eschew all things 2-for-1? A home can be an office, at times. A planner can be a suitable place to record dreams. And a cocktail can certainly provide more than just a feeling of release at the day’s end. The lemongrass lychee fizz provides all the things we’re looking for in a “fancy” cocktail (sweet, tart, sparkling) alongside some crafty, heathy benefits too: lime juice, lemongrass, lychee juice. Hint: Buy canned lychees! Some nights a mild lemongrass tea is all we need to feel better about the world (and ourselves). Other nights, a cocktail with an added boost of goodness is called for. Muddle, Squeeze, Garnish. The work is well worth the end result.
Photo by Life Unstill Photography.
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REALIZE
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
E M B R AC E
Practice with
Julia Grimaldi
A complete movement practice that celebrates the present moment, Yoga is where we find beautiful, energized calm.
Through the practice of breath and posture, we discover a profound awareness of our physical and psychological states. Being attuned, we can then direct the thoughts, feelings, and responses we have every day—even in the most demanding situations. Want grounding? Stand in mountain pose. Desire rest? Find child pose. We discover inner focus when we close our eyes. We can play when we turn ourselves upside down. Yoga is a mental, spiritual, and physical practice; a meditation in motion. When we are called to show our biggest and best selves, we manifest the warrior omnipresent in all of us.
Photos by Walker Studio LLC
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REALIZE
From Clockwise from Top: 8x10 PRINT ($20) from Jennifer E. Snyder ∙ INSULATED WATER BOTTLE ($24.99) from Healthy Human ∙ TABLE LAMP ($98) from Anthropologie ∙ CERAMIC TUMBLER ($35) from Ave Rivera Studio ∙ MOTIVATIONAL WALL CALENDAR ($13.50) from Doodle Love
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Left: DUAL-TIP MARKERS ($15) from Erin Condren
Right: GOLD PENS ($3.99) from Cynthia Rowley
Embrace Your Values Whether you’re an entrepreneur, boutique owner, or work from home #ladyboss, chances are you’re your own cheerleader. Creative accessories that showcase your values can add encouragement and, in some cases, practicality.
Your virtual assistant might have taken some of the load off, but you’re still head honcho when it comes to getting things done. Make your life that much smoother by purchasing the office essentials that make you feel you can get the job done. From a motivational calendar to perfect illumination to your source of replenishment, you need not choose between style and sustenance. Your purchases can make you feel good because you purchased them from a small batch maker, because they bear your favorite abundant mindset mantra, because they remind you of your commitment to sustainability, or simply because they’re in a color palette that speaks #truth to you.
Product Placement
Gone are the days of mandatory pencil skirts and perfunctory power dynamics. You’re in
If you’re a shop owner or small
charge of accessorizing AND you pay the bills. Wield that power to create an empowered,
batch maker who would like to be
mindful creative space and watch the well-earned profits roll in.
featured in one of our issues, fill
Photos by Elizabeth Grant Photography
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out our product collab form.
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Sleepwear for a Cause mct-usa.org
where style meets wellness EssentialAdornment.com
SHOP NOW
Shop the Marketplace The Perpetual You's curated marketplace of responsibly-made, small batch goods is online! theperpetualyou.com/the-marketplace
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
REALIZE
E M B R AC E A
Destination with photographer
Becca Bliss Nelson
Travel has always been, truly, one of my favorite things about living. There’s nothing better than waking up in a new place, with new experiences on the horizon. My wanderlust was sparked in college—when I would travel from Boston to Philly to visit my then long distance boyfriend (and now husband and business partner!)—and, since then, we’ve both tried to make travel as much a part of our lives as possible.
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W
e recently went to Puerto Rico—one of our favorite places to travel to—with the specific purpose of building our brand. The trip was planned so that we could create content for our website to advertise
our photography in Puerto Rico, so that we could travel there more often for destination work. While there, we did a couple of engagement sessions, and worked with a wedding planner to do an elopement inspiration shoot. We also took tons of photos to use as blog and website content. Now we have a dedicated Puerto Rico wedding photography page on our website, many blog posts about it, and have started to book weddings there. My favorite photos of this trip are of the day we spent wandering Old San Juan. These were much more personal, much less about work and creating website content. We don’t often get a chance to just document our lives while traveling, and that’s what these were all about. I always love the photos Chris takes of me too, and seeing myself through his eyes.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The trip to Puerto Rico was really all about following our dreams. This was the first trip we took specifically for business reasons, outside of doing a destination wedding. Someday we hope to be able to stay in Puerto Rico during the Winter months of the year, and this trip was the first step. It was so incredible to do something so tangible to reach this goal!
Becca Bliss Nelson is one half of the wedding and destination photography team Chris & Becca Photography. Her work has been featured in publications including Jet Fete, Offbeat Bride, and Red Oak Weddings. In her spare time when she’s not photographing weddings or traveling, she enjoys curling up with a great book, a coffee, and her fur baby KitKat.
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REALIZE
Embrace the Benefits with Leigh Schwab
Welcome to the final frontier of ‘Going Green’ – Makeup!
M
akeup is something we need to touch, compare
The clean beauty community has been of help to me as well.
colors, and test out for performance. While finding
By following bloggers and watching reviews on YouTube,
“safe” makeup in your town can be very difficult—
I can “test” performance and wearability of an item before I
unless you live somewhere like New York, San Francisco, or
purchase. When ordering non-toxic makeup online, I stick
Los Angeles—green companies are consistently making their
with a color palette I am comfortable with. Exotic shades are
products more accessible.
appealing but can also result in disaster!
Green beauty products are an investment and, therefore, a
The world of clean and green beauty products has dramatically
commitment; prior to ordering online, we want to know that
expanded over the past five years. If you know what you are
the performance is going to measure up. Because of this, many
looking for, are willing to embrace the clean beauty community,
green beauty companies offer samples to allow consumers to
and use common sense when purchasing, the benefits of going
find the right product without upfront investment.
green far outweigh the challenges.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
BeYOUtiful
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Switching makeup brands—for any reason—can be a challenge. I encourage those of you interested in ‘going green’ to have fun with it! Order samples, reach out to makers + business owners, and research social media trending hashtags to see what’s worth pursuing. The following are my top 3 recommendations for making the switch.
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Eye Candy These beauties come with great color payoff and long wear – enough said. One of the issues I have encountered with clean shadows is longevity and depth of color and these perform just as well as conventional shadows and impart a healthy glow that is beyond this world. Leigh recommends...
RMS Swift Shadows
2
2
Glow Girl Highlighters are a category I was not familiar with until I started my green beauty journey and they are the exact product that can help you achieve that lit from within look without looking like you have doused yourself in glitter. This particular serum imparts a bronze glow that is almost impossible to mess up. Leigh recommends...
Maya Chia Highlight of the Day in After Hours
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Sample Maven Skin type, color matching, and coverage are three important factors when choosing the right foundation. Many green companies will offer samples allowing you to test their products before purchasing. Gressa’s sample kits provide customers with their high performing serum foundation that offers a medium
3
coverage with long term skin care benefits and a natural finish. Leigh recommends...
Gressa Minimalist Corrective Serum Foundation Sample Kits
Leigh Schwab uses her love for skin care to help educate women about the ingredients in their products and the need for proper skin care legislation in our country. Learn more about her passion for a healthy and simple life on Facebook and Instagram @leighschwab.
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REALIZE
September Self-Care Experiencing growth? Try out these SelfCare practices to stay strong & healthy. Ground Yourself. Transforming can throw your energy full speed ahead. Take a
moment each day to slow down and notice something—anything—for 60 seconds. Then move along your way, focused + ready. Choose Yourself. We’ve said it before and we’ll keep saying it! You can’t get the life you want without loving the woman you already are. Transformation is not a veil or a new portal, but a melding of old and new, then and now…You, and more ideal you.
P H O T O by @ W A L K E R S T U D I O S L L C
EMBRA CE CH A N G E
Sometimes the universe puts us in positions where change is the only option, and is necessary for survival. Other times, we bring that change upon ourselves to promote personal growth and moving closer to our ideal life! We created this Wellness Toolkit* to help you through periods of stagnant energy, and to assist you in moving forward and embracing change. The insecurity that comes with a transformation is part of the beautiful process. Stay true to yourself and practice self-care with this combination of grounding essential oils, empowering symbols and nurturing stones & herbs.
HERB
E SSE NTIAL OIL
CRYS TAL
ANIMAL
Rose Bud
Vetiver
Malachite
Dragon
BENEFITS
BENEFITS
BENEFIT S
BENEFI TS
Balances the mind and strengthens immune system
Grounds, enhances confidence, gives assurance in times of change
Helps balance emotions during a change or transition
Symbolizes strength, power, and new beginnings / dreams
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
T O O L K I T curated by @ E A R T H S P E A K S B R O O K LY N
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REALIZE
Embrace Comfort with Cait Sherrick
Comfy is stylish, when the real you is accentuated.
A
aah, pants. They’re the last thing we put on in the
I vote for wearing pants that let us move, like soft capris. Or
morning as we’re running out the door and the first
boyfriend jeans that let us breathe. Or even pants that actually
thing to come off when we make it back home for dinner;
let us eat. Hello, favorite pair of sweatpants. Comfy pants give
well…second to the bra maybe. From skinny jeans that give you a bubble butt to spanx that make
you space and when you have more space, you have more room to grow, literally and figuratively.
wearing those high-waisted beauties possible, the pants we wear
Clothes are meant to accentuate what you already have—not
seem to require sucking something in or tucking something
change it. If we’re constantly reshaping who we are so we can
away—like we’re transforming ourselves just to fit into some
be like everyone else, how will we ever transform into the truest
mainstream standard. Sounds familiar, right?
version of ourselves? Instead, let’s grow and evolve and just be our comfy selves.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
OW BUY Nm
fro m iak.co
leocad
Embrace Comfy Pants Soft and loose, comfortable pants are a must for any outfit you want to feel good in.
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1 2
Work Pants Pair some soft black capris with a sleeveless sweater. Throw on a blazer, a pair of sleek pumps and spice up your minimal look with a long necklace. When your pants are loose and comfortable at work, you can spend hours at a desk AND run around from meeting to meeting with ease. Pictured: capris, sleeveless sweater, blazer, pumps, Leocadia K. Athena Necklaces
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Out-and-About Jeans Wear a pair of boyfriend jeans with a striped t-shirt, grab your favorite pair of flip flops, and add a few bracelets to your look for a little feminine flair. Nonstop errands are now as cool and comfortable as a coffee date with a friend. Pictured: boyfriend jeans, striped t-shirt, flip flops, Leocadia K. Bracelets
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Anywhere Sweatpants Pair your favorite pair of sweatpants with your most comfortable t-shirt and your softest cardigan. Home, mom’s or your best friend’s, every house can be a comfy house when you feel as good as you look. Pictured: sweatpants, t-shirt, cardigan
Cait Sherrick is a jewelry designer + stylist for mildly rebellious flow-goers at Leocadia K. She’s deeply inspired by modern art, has a boho heart + loves the warm, unconditional love of a good cup of chai tea. Join her on Instagram @ caitsherrick for daily inspiration + visit her shop for more every day outfit ideas.
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P E R SPECT I V ES from T H E PA N EL
What did you want to be when you "grew up"?
For a long while, I wanted to be a teacher. I’d spend hours "playing
Paula Jean Creator Your PURPOSE works @yourpurposeworks yourpurposeworks.com
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
school" – setting up rows of chairs and desks, creating papers to then grade and hand back to my imaginary classroom. That vision was replaced by becoming a wife and mom. I wanted a home to decorate (I loved dreaming about where we would live), and to create meals. I am a nurturer at heart; being a wife and mom brings me joy.
REALIZE
WHEN I grow up, I want to continue to stay in the surrender of my
Catt Marketing Consultant @cattkaizen cattkaizen.com
next transformation. It doesn't need to be a huge transformation where my life turns upside down and all around (have had those as well), it can be about keeping up the next expansion that I have created as a result of my life's experiences. If that's all that continues to happen as I grow up, I will be more than pleased!
I have always wanted to be a fashion or handbag designer of
Amanda Writer + Content Creator Prim and Propah @primandpropah primandpropah.com
some sort. Creativity is something that I've long cultivated. I've sewn since I was very young but was urged to pursue a more traditional path of schooling, which undoubtedly afforded me a comfortable life. Still, creating is something I love to do. I have never let the dream of pursuing it as a career be lost.
I always wanted to be a teacher. I used to build tents in my room
Hayley Founder & CEO Soul Sparkle @hayleyhunterhines soulsparklemagic.com
and set up all my dolls and animals like it was a classroom. I loved paper and writing and speaking to anyone that would listen. It's funny that now my life is still pretty much that: writing and teaching and talking to anyone that will listen, along with speaking and traveling the world. I guess some things never change!
When I was six I wanted to be President of the United States. As I
Nancy Mayor St. Augustine, Florida @mayorshaver nancyshaver.com
got older, I found myself doing interesting work—and being a mom, which I always wanted to be. Then I stumbled into public service (not as President, thank goodness) which I find all-consuming. When I grow up I want to stroll along the streets of town, wearing a smashing hat, with a parrot on my shoulder that swears in three languages
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P H O T O by @ J O LY N H
– ER AD A SV ETL AN A
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
to align your physical space with your ever-evolving self
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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
diary
/ 'dī( )rē / noun An intimate record of memorable growth
A R T by @ A M A N D A L U I S A A R T
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Perk Up the Coffee Bar T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
DWELL
In a coffee bar, motivation abounds and transformation awaits. The aroma gets us out of bed. The caffeine gets our brains to function. The act of drinking coffee is a ritual many among us wouldn’t dream starting our day without. An inviting coffee bar, placed in an easily accessible corner, offers an opportunity for your design aesthetic to blend with your practical needs and long-term desires. Collected treasures can mingle alongside necessary coffee accoutrements. Create a space where slowing down is encouraged and warming up is the focus. Whether alone, with family or friends, you’ve got plenty of time and space to linger over your intended plans for the day.
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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
DWELL
Wardrobe Wealth M A K I N G S PA C E F O R M O R E O F W H AT Y O U W A N T with LaToya Burton
Abundance can be found in your closet—and not just in the “spare change” kind of way.
D
oes your wardrobe reflect the current you? Or do the things within hold mostly the energy of the past? Or, are you hanging
onto what you think you should have (and be)? When we choose to adorn ourselves and our space in a way that brings us joy today rather than some place off in the future, our closets hold an opportunity for transformation.
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The storage in our homes carries the energy of our wishes
your clothes the ultimate décor! You can adorn dress forms and
and desires, as well as anything being avoided. Whether you
hat racks, hang bags and coats on hooks. Scarves can do double
have built-in storage or use freestanding racks and shelves,
duty hanging on a rod and displayed on a wall. Include a a chair,
imagine only including things you truly adore; your clothing
your favorite book, and a mirror you love, to create the sense of
and decor inspiring you to live your richest life. Imagine what
luxury and the permission to take your time.
you see before you filling you with a sense of I am enough and I have enough.
Our richest, most inspired life is not about the size of our space or the number of items; instead, when we feel empowered
Transforming your closet into a space of inspiration asks for a
to creatively express our unique style on our own terms, we
willingness to take stock of the amount of room you actually
transform the idea of mere storage into an inspiring place to
have and being honest about what you want to call in. Create
begin our day.
breathing room around your clothes and accessories, so that you can clearly see what is there – increasing the opportunity to wear things that inspire you daily. Not that aesthetic doesn’t have its place. Likely, all the colors and patterns you are most drawn to are already there—making
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
LaToya is a mama / imaginer / gypsy nomad who explores life through the lens of interiors imagination and inspiration. She lives on a bus with her husband and son exploring the Australian landscape. For more inspiration, follow her @latoyaburton_musing. Photos by Walker Studios LLC
Dwell on This Making space for more of what you love begins by letting go of the things you no longer need. Occasionally, a repurpose is in place. Thinking outside the closet can transform your personal space into an abundant one.
1
Let Go. The hardest thing about letting go is the story attached to what you hold on to. Expansion comes when we honour what we want and remove things we don't ever use. Start by discarding broken items and move to the challenging things. Ask yourself: Do I really love it? Do I really need it? Does it have a home? Sometimes we have to let go to create space for MORE.
2
Repurpose. Don’t be limited by what a room was originally intended for. Maybe the closet works better as a work area and a small bedroom works as a closet. Don't like shifting through drawers? Some things work better in baskets or stacked directly onto shelving. Sort like objects with like objects and arrange by color where appropriate making it easier to locate things. Look for the best storage solutions for YOUR needs.
3
Beautify. Transform any utilitarian space with color, a piece of art, or a beautiful light fixture. For a bit of fun consider a patterned wallpaper to line your walls or shelves. Is there room for a funky lamp that celebrates your personal style? It is as simple as adding your favorite artwork to a door or leaned against a wall or on a shelf. Our beloved accessories are tools to help us lead a wealthy life.
Does your home bear the marks of intentional design? We’d love to feature you! Send us an email: hello@theperpetualyou.com
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•
Transformation through Creation A T I N Y H O U S E S T O RY
Words by Tessa Chittle Photos by Markie Lynne Jones T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
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DWELL
If I had listened to the signs from the universe, this tiny house would never have been built. Everything went wrong from the beginning and nothing was simple. As someone who has mostly found it easy to succeed in school, climb the corporate ladder, and start new business ventures, this project was a big lesson for me in failure and perseverance at every turn. And yet‌.no project has ever felt more natural or in flow with the world I want to create.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Creativity is an act of defiance. – TWYLA THARP
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FROM HEARTBREAK TO HOME First, our “ingenious� idea to raise funds to build the tiny house through pre-booking The Tiny House Farmstay on Kickstarter was not successful. The first of many ego crushing failures. Without any funds, we re-evaluated our plans and decided to renovate our own home for Farmstays, only to get told no by a contractor. Heartbreak. After reconnecting with our values, we found that The Chittle Homestead Tiny House Farmstay was still in alignment with everything we wanted to stand for in the world. We began looking into loans to make it happen. Business loan? Not enough time as a business yet so we opted to refinance our home. The first attempt came back not approved. Heartbreak. We reorganized our loan application to FINALLY make it happen. Then came the difficulties with finding the right
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
builder, doing what we wanted within our budget, and all the times my builder said my vision was impossible. More Heartbreak. Once the building got underway, the obstacles kept coming. An initial discussion with the health department made all we wanted to do—serve delicious farm to table food from our land to fuel creation and community—feel impossible. Then, our current home insurance rejected our request for new coverage. Heartbreak, again. Then came the delays. The house was not ready as expected for summer farmstays. Then it was not ready for our summer harvest dinner. Now, the huge cost of hooking up electric and water to the house means it is still not totally ready for
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our fall farmstay visitors and will barely (hopefully!) be done before our baby boy is born in late September. Heartbreak. Heartbreak. Heartbreak.
FROM DREAM TO DIY When the tiny house was finally delivered to our homestead, the real work began. We highly value sustainability and health,
The emotional roller coaster has caused moments of
so we chose to work with a builder who used all local, green,
questioning my vision and my abilities, but every time my
and healthy products including denim as insulation in the
family and I reconnect back to our life manifesto that outlines
walls, a locally made trailer, and sustainably harvested wood.
our values, it all comes back to this tiny house—a space for people to grow connection, flex their creative muscles, eat delicious farm to table food, and be empowered to live by their
To offset the higher price, we DIY-ed some projects ourselves. Upon delivery, the entire kitchen had to be added including
values. This is the world we want to create. continued on page 56
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
TINY HOUSE BUILD BY
Brett Marlo Design Build D E CO R A N D F I N I S H E S B Y
Tessa Chittle
B O O K A FA R M S TAY AT
thechittlehomestead.com/ thefarmstay
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cabinets, countertops, shelves, and appliances. Both the inside and outside needed paint and stain. The murphy bed, farm table, and rolling ottomans needed to be built, and the sliding door to the downstairs bedroom needed to be designed and installed. Each one of these DIY projects was like a miniversion of the larger tiny house building experience: excitement, ideas, and planning; stuckness and confusion; new ideas and actions; more failure, more stuckness, and feelings of impossibility. Then more planning, new solutions, and more action. Again and again, I came face to face with this process of creating, allowing me to sit in both the struggles and the triumphs of the creative process, to reconnect with my deepest values, to determine if I wanted to continue. Over time, the patterns of creating became more familiar and easier to move through without getting stuck. I don't believe things need to be hard to be worth doing. I often support my coaching clients in finding the method of getting what they want through simplicity and ease, and encourage paying attention to that which comes naturally and organically. Still, sometimes doing bold things without a template or tutorials takes time and a lot of tries. I know something hard is still worth doing if I brush off the ego-smashing failures and gut-wrenching heartbreak, and still feel like waking up the next day
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Tiny Space, Big Choices In a small space, priorities become even more essential. Whether you’re designing a tiny house, like we did, or remodeling a guest bath, there’s no space to waste. Every inch of our tiny house represents our values.
1
Comfort. We opted for real stairs rather than a ladder and full railings around the loft to keep kiddos safe and parents relaxed. In addition, we chose to have a downstairs bedroom option, as well as a long table and comfy couch for families to gather around.
2
Sustainability. From the recycled denim insulation to a composting toilet, we chose local and sustainable at every turn. Décor came from craigslist and antique stores or Etsy craftsmen. We used non-toxic paints and stains, and included air-purifying plants.
and continuing to create. if the creation still aligns with the life I want to live and the world I want to create, then I keep going.
3
Privacy. Many tiny houses lack a realistic amount of storage and privacy so we made sure that each sleeping space had a dedicated closet space and
During this process, it often felt like the universe
plenty of privacy. A murphy bed downstairs allows for a private space for
was screaming “no” at every turn. I came to believe
an office desk or meditation/yoga space when the bed is folded up.
that “listening to the universe” is less about noticing the obstacles piling up and more about trusting my instincts and intuition even when things are
4
Intimacy. Since visitors to the homestead are offered intimate cooking,
going wrong.
homesteading, and life design experiences, we wanted our tiny house to be able to seat 8 people comfortably for these mini workshop gatherings. The 6-foot storage bench behind the table along with the 7-foot couch
F R O M FA I L U R E T O FA R M S TAY
make it easy to gather around to learn together in an inspiring space.
It’s easy to beat yourself up over every failure and feel like you’re not capable of anything. Been there done that. What I notice as a homesteader, DIYer,
5
Sliding barn doors are quite functional in tiny houses because they don’t
and entrepreneur is that after going through the
take up any “swing space.” To save on the trendy price, we made it
creative process enough times, I know at a deep level
ourselves, with a vintage door off craigslist and about $25 worth of other parts easily found at a hardware store.
that failure isn’t about my skills or abilities. Birthing something brand new into the world just takes time, patience, and trying new things. Some phases of creation entail a flurry of action and accomplishment. Other phases take time, percolation, planning, and organic movement that
Function.
6
Beauty. We chose to put in lots of windows and keep high ceilings in the gathering space rather than adding a second loft. This creates a very open space filled with light and beautiful views of the flower garden, forest, and goats. We chose decor thoughtfully that was beautiful and functional, yet minimal.
we don't control.
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By practicing creation in many formats (whether it’s a
Practicing the creative process in various formats turns failure
simple home decor project or creating a new workshop!), I
into familiarity, allowing my ideas to flourish without being
have experience to know nothing is utterly impossible or to
restricted by self-doubt, fear, or overwhelm—feelings that will
recognize when I’m stuck in “procrastination.” I stop attaching
always be familiar but need not become obstacles.
to the feelings of inadequacy and instead wait patiently for the next burst of inspiration or ingenious solution.
After all the heartbreak and failure, all the hard work and DIY projects, we are about to officially open our doors for Farmstay
Our culture does not often encourage us to utilize the skills
visitors! By creating something tangible, from my deepest
of creation, especially in the creation of bold unconventional
values, I have realized a dream, and I also know that I’ve
things without templates or tutorials. Therefore, every creation
contributed to the betterment of the world.
in any realm (whether it be a craft, a home renovation, a business, or designing an unconventional life), is an act of flexing muscles we don't often use. Creation is also an act of defying the messages that we are dependent on things outside of ourselves for our happiness, wellbeing, and health. Knowing I can bring anything into existence gives me confidence. I become more empowered with every creative act, whether it ultimately fails or succeeds.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Tessa Chittle is a Revolutionary Life & Business Strategist and creator of The Chittle Homestead, a farm where creativity and bold life design are nourished by delicious farm to table food. She is also a Homesteading Mama, lover of upcycled creations and beautiful design, and visionary. Follow her homestead journey on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. Photos by Markie Lynne Jones
Relax + Stay corresponds to Benjamin Moore CSP-840
Radiant Cedar corresponds to Benjamin Moore CW-380
From the Land corresponds to Benjamin Moore AF-120
Sustained Dream
EA RT H Y + I N S PI RI N G
corresponds to Benjamin Moore 070 Often, dreaming big takes living small. If you’re living with minimal space, consider this earthy color palette, in which these almost-neutral colors combine to create a soothing yet sophisticated ambiance. Since all the colors come from nature, the décor is easy to find: a tree branch here, a pebble fountain there—and flora + fauna everywhere.
Intuition corresponds to Benjamin Moore AF-395
Not living small? Here are some other ways to incorporate this earthy palette:
Natural Inspiration.
Inspired Respite.
We love the idea of sitting on the screened-in
A bedroom in this grounded palette offers
porch or in a sunroom and being surrounded
peace and relaxation no matter the time
by natural elements and earthy colors.
of day. We’re picturing textiles in gray +
Soak up the change in season and welcome
accessories in orange, surrounded by raw
grounded inspiration.
furniture and fresh greenery.
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DWELL
Shop the Look Transformation begins when we slow down enough to notice what it is we desire. A nook for reading, meditating, or resting can provide the space to do exactly that: a place in which we can release inhibition and rediscover our core values. Lean fully into life, by taking a moment to slow down.
Our Nook-Worthy Picks: KILIM PILLOW COVER ($34) from Sarikaya Kilim Pillows ∙ VELVET DAYBED CUSHION ($129) from Urban Outfitters ∙ ANTIQUE BOTANICAL PRINT ($10) from Antique Prints Only T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
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– J.K. ROWLING
to align your life story with your ever-evolving sense of self
T H REE Q U ES T I O N S
with
Tsh
What's one practice in your daily life that
What about your physical space allows
For you, what is the relationship of
brings you Wealth?
you to Embrace Transformation?
Wealth & Transformation?
Keeping a Gratitude list in my daily journal
In the year that we've lived in this small town,
keeps me grounded, grateful for the abundance
I've made it a habit to go on short walks most
The more I live in the present, the more I'm
in my life, and mindful of the little daily things
mornings. Neighbors say hello, shop owners are
that make my life rich. In the evenings, I do my
getting ready to open, and the locally-roasted
best to write down 3-5 things from my day I'm
coffee tastes better because I know the baristas
grateful for, big or small. It helps me sleep more
who make it. In an ever-increasing digitized
soundly, and it's a great resource to look back
world, starting off my days in the here-and-
on as the list grows, especially on harder days.
now, around flesh-and-blood people, helps me transform my mindset.
grateful for my physical surroundings, wherever I am. That hasn't always been easy for me, as someone who loves to travel and explore. It’s easy to have a mindset of scarcity when you're focused on where you haven't yet been, but when I focus on gratitude about wherever I am, big or small, my mindset changes to overflowing abundance.
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Words by Susanna Lancaster Photos by Simi Shomono T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
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When asked if I could interview Tsh Oxenreider for this month’s issue, it felt like one of the neatest projects. That fact that Tsh is a world traveler alone sparked my attention—what’s not to love about traveling to so many places? my somewhat naïve twenty-seven-year-old self wondered as I sat outside at the pool in the blistering summer heat.
As someone who hasn’t traveled a lot, my ideas of traveling changed after devouring Tsh’s latest book At Home in the World. I felt like I personally knew Tsh and couldn’t wait to talk to her. Not only did I admire her writing, but she helped me see the world past my southern hometown. I felt quite at home during our conversation.
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T R AV E L I N G S C H E D U L E Tsh is a wife, a mother of three, a traveler, and the author of three books. The list of countries she’s visited nearly matches the number of years she’s been alive (40). Since
months—world-schooling their children who were then ages nine, six, and four. Tsh and her husband also were able to work while out of the United States. Each family member carried a single backpack, which served as their only luggage.
leaving her parents’ home for college, Tsh has lived in twenty-
Each of the places the family went to became a temporary
two different homes, and she met her husband, Kyle, while
home, and they saw families very much like their own
working in Kosovo. They passed this love for wanderlust to
along the way. Though the children were young, the family
their daughter Tate and two sons, Reed and Finn, each of
experienced many famous landmarks like The Great Wall of
whom has already traveled to over thirty countries.
China and the Eiffel Tower, as well as participated in activities
The family’s longest period of travel came two years ago, on a trip that few could even imagine and some would say is
that many can only dream about, such as walking through an Australian jungle and swimming in the Great Barrier Reef.
crazy. The Oxenreiders sold their home, put nearly everything they owned in storage, and set out to travel for nine straight
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T R AV E L I N G C H O I C E S Over the years, Tsh and Kyle have learned to balance time while traveling. She thinks it’s important to pick a couple of “must-dos” for each stop, but not to make an entire bucket list. There may not be enough time to accomplish everything, and it’s easy to add things when you arrive somewhere. Those things “you don’t have time for can always be something to plan for a
T R AV E L I N G C H A L L E N G E S Tsh faced many “what am I doing?” moments during the travels, and, like any family vacation, there were some challenges along the way. From language barriers, to time changes and jet lag, to questionable transportation, to a giant spider scaring Tsh in the shower, there was plenty that could fuel tiredness and homesickness.
future visit,” says Tsh. For those who don’t travel a lot, she advises to begin small, plan some weekend trips, and learn what activities you prioritize. “Take public transportation for a day,” she suggests, just to see what it’s like and how you react. Knowing these small pieces of information ahead of
Yet, Tsh knows traveling easily brought her family together because they
time helps with time management and also
became inseparable and had to rely on one another. Much of the pressure that
with money.
Tsh had felt with writing and parenting began to disappear and she saw more and more how much everyone matters and that she wasn’t the only one having these feelings.
On their trip, the Oxenreiders were able to travel as affordably as possibly by finding rental homes and places that weren’t necessarily in
For people wanting to travel more, especially those with kids, Tsh’s best
the center of everything but helped them lower
advice is “start small” and see how everyone does and behaves. “Learning how
costs and see more along the way. Packing
your children handle situations is crucial,” Tsh stresses. “Parents can adjust
lightly and using so many of the traveling tools
expectations—kids are going to be kids when they travel. But kids open more
and apps available also helped to make travel
doors than they close.”
more affordable.
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
T R AV E L I N G S E L F - C A R E Self-care is something that Tsh sees as an absolute must. “If you know you get overwhelmed by certain sights or sounds, know that you’ll have sensory overload and take precaution,” she warns. For example, she found that using a sleeping mask helped block things out and allowed her to rest in her own quiet darkness. Tsh encouraged each family member to create his or her own small spaces and had structured rules about everyone having personal time set aside. She also made sure the kids got to play with other children, while she and her husband socialized with adults. Having the children’s blankets and Kindles loaded with books helped them stay calm and feel safe when they got tired or homesick.
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Want More Tsh? At Home in the World: Reflections on Belonging While Wandering the Globe chronicles Tsh Oxendreider’s family adventure around the world. Seeing, smelling, and tasting the widely varying cultures along the way, she discovers what it truly means to be at home. B U Y N OW tshoxenreider.com/athomeintheworld
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
When feeling overly anxious, Tsh took self-care to another level
identify with her journey—not just the physical one, but her
and sought counseling, a brave step, especially when shared
personal journey as a wife, mother, and author. I was surprised
with others. A spiritual counselor gave Tsh many mental tools
to learn that Tsh didn’t write the book as she travelled, but
that helped her along the journey. By asking more questions,
rather after she experienced the trip.
Tsh realized that some problems were not as huge as they seemed. A new outlook allowed her to “understand how small she is in this huge world.”
T R AV E L I N G S T O R I E S Not your typical traveling memoir, Tsh’s book, At Home in the
Though Tsh knew she was going to attempt writing a travel memoir, she wanted to enjoy her travels and live in the present moment, letting the opportunities sink in for a while before putting them on paper. “I needed to process things,” she says, “I learned I didn’t know what I thought until after I left, and I would realize life lessons later on.”
World, which she wrote about this particular trip with her family, paints ideas of traveling and parenting in a fresh light. It allows the reader to partake in an extraordinary journey—one that traces the connection between physical places, and also ties together emotional landmarks that many people relate to, regardless of where they live on the globe. As I read, I appreciated Tsh’s narrative style, which is warm and
T R AV E L I N G L E S S O N S Even now, Tsh doesn’t consider herself an expert at traveling. “I feel like an entrepreneur at times, a traveler at others, and sometimes a storyteller,” she says, “I don’t feel like I’ve learned everything and I’m not an expert—I’m a student, like everyone else.”
inviting. Despite having traveled little myself (and not having children just yet!), it was easy for me to connect with her and
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She is thankful for the chances she’s had and realizes how
Writing the book provided her with a sense of closure once
important it is for her children not to get so accustomed
the trip was over and the family readjusted to life in the U.S.
to traveling that they lose interest in the smaller things in
Writing in the present tense helped Tsh relive her experiences
life. Because her children were so young on this trip, she
and, in many ways, acted as what she calls “the final leg” to an
knows they still value everyday things. They could’ve been
extraordinary year of travel.
in a waterpark instead of The Great Barrier Reef, and they would’ve been just as happy,” she says.
Despite having such an impressive story, Tsh’s low key personality and humble side shine through the book,
She does, however, hope that this trip will excite the children
reminding readers that family is the most important thing and
for later trips in life. Learning about history by witnessing it
that home can be found anywhere, as long as you’re with the
firsthand is something that, undoubtedly, has already planted
ones you love.
a desire to revisit the places they’ve been.
T R AV E L I N G TA K E A W AY For Tsh, writing a travel memoir was a new experience, one she feels helped her grow as a writer in ways she hadn’t before. “I had a variety of people in mind while writing it,” she says, “parents, younger singles, graduates, etc. I wanted them to know not to settle down too soon, but also that it’s never too late to settle down.”
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Susanna Lancaster writes for readers of all ages. True to her southern roots, she enjoys creating stories set in the south and has a passion for historical fiction. In 2014, she completed an M.F.A. in Creative Writing for Young People from Lesley University. Her work has appeared in Balloons Lit. Journal, Hieroglyph Literary Journal, and Memphis Health + Fitness magazines. Her first book, a YA novel of historical fiction called The Growing Rock, debuts from Harvard Square Editions on December 12, 2017. She lives and teaches English in Memphis, TN with her fiancé Kyle and pet yorkie, Boston. All Photos by Simi Shomono except those on p. 69 & 72
Connect with Tsh tshoxenreider.com theartofsimple.net @tshoxenreider
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– TSH OX EN R EI DER
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
to align your innermost thoughts with your ever-evolving perspective
I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y @ D A N U T Z I
A late-bloomer, yet hardy + hale. If your growth mindset has taken its time to flourish, take a cue from this paradox of nature, the Morning Glory,
Morning Glory
and keep on doing your thing, on your own time and according to your nature.
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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
LIVE
No Hashtag Needed with Meghan Kacmarcik
True transformation means recognizing the mental, emotional, and spiritual changes that come with self-acceptance.
E
very Tuesday, I watch the #transformationtuesday
Here’s the thing: we live in a society that rewards us for
posts roll into my Instagram feed. Usually, these photos
changing the size and shape of our body. We live in a culture
are a woman on the left with a slightly smaller version
that celebrates women who come closer to fitting an arbitrary
of the same woman on the right. Most of the time, the caption
beauty ideal. We live in a world that consistently sends
includes how many pounds were shed, their newfound exercise
messages to women telling them that their body is not good
routine or the new diet they’ve been following.
enough, thin enough, toned enough, flat enough.
They usually say how much better they feel or how happy
When we come closer to actually meeting those standards
they are. Let me be frank with you all: I’m not buying it. Sure,
that have been set for us, of course we’re inclined to want to
maybe that person has found a new workout she really loves or
celebrate that. The danger in celebrating our advancements
has discovered a way of eating that makes her body feel good;
towards a more societally acceptable body, is that by doing so
maybe she’s shed a few pounds. I suspect, however, that the
we’re reinforcing that ideal. After hundreds of years of being
“feeling better” isn’t as straightforward as we are making it out
told what we should look like, women deserve more than that.
to seem.
You deserve more than that.
How much of her satisfaction can be attributed to her fitting
As I’ve shared here before, I battled an eating disorder and
more closely into our society’s “ideal”? Is she satisfied because
body dissatisfaction for the better part of a decade. My weight
she lost a couple pounds? Because she takes up less space?
changed considerably over the course of that time, but no
Or because she can share with others that she’s dropped a
transformation I have ever experienced is comparable to the
dress size? Regardless, is she truly happier? Has her mindset
moment I finally chose to accept and trust my body.
transformed? Is she more fulfilled? Is she overall more content with life?
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I went from counting every calorie, forcing my body to exercise
The most powerful transformation a woman in our society can
in ways that didn’t feel good to me, and generally just hating
make is realizing that she doesn’t need to change her external
every inch of myself to learning how to accept, appreciate,
appearance to please someone else. She doesn’t have to restrict
and even love my body. Not only did that transform me on the
what she eats, force herself to exercise, or spend countless
outside, this acceptance sank all the way down to my roots the
minutes focusing on what she wants to change about her body.
way the rain sinks into the Earth after a storm.
Instead of choosing control, she can trust her body and listen
When we stop to think about it, it’s easy to see that our
to her intuition.
intuition guides us in everything we do, especially those of
If this is true, then why hasn’t this type of personal
us who are entrepreneurs. Our intuition—those pesky gut
transformation been rolled neatly into some social media
feelings—help us to make decisions that feel right to us and our
hashtag campaign? Because it’s just that: personal.
businesses, to make choices that feel good in our soul and align
Transformation is different for every woman, and not
with our core values.
something that’s been taught to use since we were born. We
If we don’t always blindly follow the rules in business, why can’t we trust ourselves and listen to our intuition in all areas of our
aren’t taught to trust ourselves, or to listen to our body’s natural cues.
life? When it comes to our relationship with food, sadly our
When we follow diets or beach body challenges or 30-day
intuition has often been silenced before we even had a chance
boot camps, there are rules. There are things you can check
to realize we could use it as a guide.
off every day—things you either did or you didn’t. And after a
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
The standards by which you live must be your own standards, your own values, your own convictions. – ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
aflame. When we stop focusing on changing, we can start to acknowledg who we truly are. We can discover ways to grow, expand, and change. Just as we do in business, when it comes to our bodies, we can focus on the areas that are important to us. We can make change because we want a different result. If we alter our appearance or our thinking, we do so based on our values. We
month, you may or may not be able to see some sort of result, some physical validation that you’ve been doing it “right.” Body trust and self-acceptance aren’t that rigid. There are
can transform, inside and out, by becoming ourselves. And that kind of transformation is too complicated to be summarized by a hashtag.
no boxes, no rules, no external validation and, often, no cheerleaders. Everyone’s journey is different. At the end of the month, whether you look different matters less than how you feel and what you’re thinking. When we can stop looking for validation outside ourselves, we can focus on what really matters and find what sets our soul
Meghan is a blogger, body positivity advocate, eating disorder survivor and Registered Dietitian. You can follow along on her adventures on Instagram @sundaesforthesoul or read her blog at sundaesforthesoul.com. Photos by @kfpphotography
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A Little Help from My Friends T H E T R U T H S O F I N T E N T I O N A L T R A N S F O R M AT I O N with Lee Lee Thompson
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Transformation is both intimate and social, having long-lasting effects on your own nature and on the relationships you care the most about.
I
n my so-called youth, I transformed myself countless times—often changing my name, too, as though rebranding a business that hadn’t lived up to my
expectations. After recovering from having another human being ripped out of my body—literally—TWICE—I thought surely the transformations were over. Then, I decided to start a magazine. The Universe must have smiled wildly on that day! Each time I have transformed, no matter how minor the growth was, the impetus was similar: I felt unfulfilled, bored, stagnant…and also open to change, ready for growth. The difference between my personal transformations (adopting the name Lee Lee, for example) and the substantial transformations of becoming a mother, then an entrepreneur, is that my initial transformations were solely about me. Some lasted a long time (they still call me Lee Lee, after all) and some fell by the wayside. None were lifechanging, in the moral + spiritual “wow, I’m a different person than I was a couple years ago” way, though, because they were insular. Personal transformation, despite its intimate parameters, is actually quite interactive. This “dance” of transformation can be a challenge if you’ve never stopped to learn the steps. I didn’t really know this until I sat down to write this month’s Social Relationships article which you’re reading now. To write about relationships and transformation, I had to think about relationships and transformation And think I did: What IS so darn difficult about transforming and also caring about others? Why didn’t my earlier transformations cause such a stir inside of me, and how is that related to their long-term effects?
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Similarly, what others do is not about you. One of the biggest changes in my mindset occurred when I literally stopped taking the actions of others personally. My husband, my children, the “it's too early to be angry” couple arguing in front of my house… the actions of these people are not centered on ME. Whew! What a relief. Right? It stands to reason: if we expect others to let us transform as we must and will, then we must let others transform at their own pace too. We can neither take the growth of others personally nor take the lack of growth of others personally. Their transformation—their actions—have nothing to do with us. (Repeat ad infinitum.)
T R A N S F O R M AT I O N R E Q U I R E S T R A D E - O F F S . Another book that opened my eyes about transformation of the entrepreneurial sort was Essentialism, by Greg McKeown, the biggest “lesson” being that of trade-offs. Since I had already been making trade-offs and comfortable with my decision, the real takeaway (for me) was the terminology. As a word nerd, I like to be able to put a name to my actions that I’m comfortable with; I like the lack of judgement in the word trade-off. Don’t you?
T R A N S F O R M AT I O N I S I N T E N S E LY P E R S O N A L . When I read Cara Alwill Leyba’s manifesto on being a ladyboss, one quote stood out to me above all others: “You will evolve. Not everyone will get it. Evolve anyway.” Yessssssssssss, I thought. This. Is. So. True. (As already mentioned, I was a natural evolver.) Not until I transformed into a true ladyboss— someone living and breathing an enterprise of her own—did the weight of these words come to bear on me. It isn’t that others won’t witness your transformation, or even that they won’t be involved in it in some way. After all, having a baby has quite the effect on said baby! I believe what Leyba means by others “not getting it” is that they don’t get to have a say because they’re not the ones transforming. (You don’t ask the baby if it wants to be born; you don’t ask the nurse if she wants to do the pushing—usually.) For that reason, during times of transformation so-called “others” may wonder what the heck you’re doing. And, if they wonder, they might say something to that effect. They may even have doubts. Let me tell you a secret: transformation is not the time to do your research or consume the experiences
I’m blessed to have experienced a plethora of trade-offs in my life while running this magazine for the past two years. The two most important aspects of my life—mothering and entrepreneuring—are, often, at odds with one another. Countless times through my day, I’m called to decide where I will spend my time: with a child or being the boss. (I am not in charge when with the child—trust me!) As someone who intuitively understands and responds to natural consequences, I picked up rather quickly on the idea that choosing one sphere meant neglecting the other. Also, I realized that there were both immediate consequences—child might write his name in permanent marker on my door vs. this article might not get written—and long-term effects—child might need therapy vs. magazine might go under. If transformation is extreme, intense growth in one area (and I believe it is) then the other area(s) of our life will suffer, whether in that moment or over the long haul. Just accepting that fact went a long way to alleviate any guilt I was feeling; however, I’m fairly stubborn. I didn’t want to just accept the fact that one part of my life was going to suffer.
of others. If you’re in the midst of transformation, you’re
The answer here is more complicated than the problem, in a
in charge.
way. Even as we negotiate for the time and space we need to transform, we compromise to give others the same. I found that by giving a child even 5-10 minutes of my undivided attention
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
made the negotiation feel okay to both of us. Choosing WHEN those 5-10 minutes are to happen is the true dance, as any parent knows. Sometimes I get to decide and other times— times I like to think of as “high alert”—I compromise, whether a physical need arises or an emotional request is made that can’t be ignored.
T R A N S F O R M AT I O N D E P E N D S U P O N S U P P O R T. And now I turn to Ms. Brené Brown—wordsmith of all my favorite quotes on transformation. It was difficult for me to choose just one, but I finally settled on the following: “When we stop caring what people think and stop feeling hurt by cruelty, we lose our ability to connect.” As someone who often feels she is capable of doing it all by herself, thank you very much, this is a healthy reminder I will be posting above my desk! Even though I’m a “self-made woman,” I know deep down that transformation in one area of my life means I’m going to need someone to pick up the slack in another area of my life. If I’m totally disconnected, then that support will not be available to me when I need it. To focus on my business, I’ve done all of the following, at least once (likely more): • Asked my husband and children to take care of the house in my absence. • Asked my husband to take care of the children in my absence. • Paid for extra daycare hours. • Left my younger child in the care of his older brother.
where you’re ready to grow. You’ve sought help along the
• Took advantage of “free child care” while on a family vacation so that I could work.
way. You’ve set up support systems you need to have in place.
• Asked someone else to pick up one or both children from school.
transformation requires.
I don’t feel guilty about any of the above—I have a support
And you’ve made conscious decisions about the trade-offs
Now, your only responsibility is to give in to, and give your all to, the Transformation.
system in place for just this reason; in fact, knowing I have received this level of support when I needed to focus on something internal is a beautiful reminder of how connected to others I am.
As is typical with most writers, I found the answers to my questions about transformation by looking at what other
While I don’t think seeking advice or doing research during an
writers—writers who I trust and whose words resonate with
intense transformation is helpful, I do believe that guidance
me—have had to say. These nuggets of wisdom from my
and inspiration, if kept to a minimum, can be another valuable
“friends” reinforce what I already knew to be true. They also
form of support. Even if this just means keeping in mind all
helped me write about it in a way that someone else (you) could
the other women who’ve gone before you and accomplished
understand.
badass things.
I would love to know what you think about transformation, too!
Remember: you’ve already done the work it takes to get to the
Email me at editor@theperpetualyou.com or join our private
point of transformation. You’ve gotten yourself to the point
Facebook group, The Society, to weigh in.
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Advertise with Us Below is a timeline showing our upcoming themes for Series 8 and the deadlines for submitting your ad. Learn more at bit.ly/TPYpartners.
ISSUE 1
ISSUE 2
IS S UE 3
IS S UE 4
DECEMBER 2017
JANUARY 20 18
F E B R UARY 2018
M AR CH 2018
Create Ease by Choosing Comfort
Create Wealth by Embracing Reflection
Create Fun by Unleashing Connection
Create Joy by Celebrating Whimsy
DU E: OCT 1 5 , 2017
DUE: N O V 15, 2017
D UE : D E C 15, 2017
D UE : J AN 15, 20 1 8
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
– SA R A H M A N GU SO
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Goodbye Expectations,
Hello Dreams Words by Jennifer Waller Photos by Amanda Luisa T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
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If your intuition is calling you to make a transformation, honor it with integrity and grace, realizing that every level of transformation will require a different version of you. Embrace it, and the life you were meant to live, and everything else will take care of itself.
A
s far back as I can remember, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was fascinated at the pretty ladies behind the cosmetic counter in my early childhood, when I would accompany my
mom to the local department store. They always seemed so glamorous to me and they transformed women right before my curious eyes. The day I purchased my first Estee Lauder lipstick in junior high school, and held that heavy gold tube in my hands, I knew I wanted to have my own cosmetic line one day. In high school, I got my very first job working for Estee Lauder and I never looked back. I spent the next fifteen years working with dozens of cosmetic lines and thousands of women all over the country. I felt akin more to a therapist than a makeup artist, but a lot of problems seemed to be solved (even if temporarily) with a new shade of lipstick. I was in the transformation business, and I loved it!
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Fast forward 31 years. The makeovers that nourish my own soul have less to do with lipstick, and more to do with transforming into the person I was born to be, and helping others do the same. My dilemma however, was how to segue from the identity that I held on to since I was 17, into the new role I am creating for myself at age 48. Who was I if not the beauty guru everyone knew me to be? Was I allowed to change/expand/redirect in midlife, and would my tribe come along for the ride? I’d spent the past six years creating a boutique skincare business, carving out a niche in the very competitive beauty industry. Would they accept a new definition of transformation, beyond the surface changes that skincare provides, or should I keep my personal transformation a secret and stay on message focused on the business that pays the mortgage? Ultimately, I decided that if skincare was my business, then helping my tribe find their worth was a mission that made sense. Transformation at this level brings everything else a woman does for herself full circle. It provides an inner glow to
D O N ’ T D E F I N E Y O U R S E L F B Y W H AT Y O U D O If I had limited myself by my title or profession (as so many entrepreneurs do), it would have limited my own growth and my ability to help others on a deeper level. Be open to the world, be open to the whispers that lie in your heart, and be open to change. Get out of the box you put yourself into by defining yourself in terms of your title. Today, I refer to myself as a Transformation Specialist rather than an Artisan Skincare Maker. Can you feel how different the two titles resonate?
a woman that skincare (or anything else for that
Yes, skincare can transform a woman, but there is so much more a woman
matter) can’t compete with.
can do to transform herself; skincare is simply one tool in her toolbox.
If you are on a transformation journey of your own, these guidelines can help you navigate the space from here to there.
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ALLOW YOUR TRIBE TO COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE
DEFINE YOUR DESCRIPTION OF HAPPINESS & SUCCESS
I experienced major physical transformation in the last
So many of us are taught from a young age (both through
year, and I’ve blogged about it so my customers can see for
social conditioning and mainstream media) that the definition
themselves in real time how my new direction has changed me.
of success is the amount of money in your bank account. As a
Being transparent can also help you decide if your new direction is a viable business model. I didn’t consider
result, we often tie our job happiness to the amount of money we make.
undertaking a new business venture until my tribe asked me
As I looked around to people in my own life, I saw a lot of people
to share my knowledge. They were the inspiration to create a
sacrificing a lot of time for the pursuit of more money. The
physical destination from a virtual one. Had I not included them
money bought bigger toys but also brought on more stress.
in my journey, I would not have realized there was a market
Stress takes a major toll on your health. Is it really worth it?
for it.
Money cannot buy you time, which is your most valuable
If you allow your tribe to see themselves in you, they can
resource. Doing something you love with your time pays big
envision something greater for themselves. In essence, you are
dividends. Ask yourself: if money were no object, what would I
becoming the change you want to see in the world.
be doing?
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make in one life, rather than how many likes or shares you get on social media. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received in business was: “Don’t be in the convincing game.” You aren’t going to appeal to everyone, and that’s ok. In fact, you want to attract the exact person who can benefit the most. In other words, the people that get you and get your message.
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST Putting yourself first means you create clear cut boundaries
The people you touch will go out into the world and affect the people in their lives and so on and so on. You may never know how many people you really touch with your message. (That’s ok. Nobody is keeping score anyway.)
around your time; time that is spent on activities that will enable you to be the best version of yourself. As a result, you can be a bright shining star to those around you. How much of your time is spent worrying about the problems of others? Saying yes to everything somebody asks of you?
I have a meme on my phone to remind me of how I define
Consuming social media (which I refer to as the fast food of
success, it says: Happiness is the New Rich. Health is the New
communication), or the 24/7 news cycles? By numbing us, these
Wealth. Simply put, if what I’m doing for a living doesn’t bring
distractions are the ultimate time robbers.
me joy or contribute to my health, I am not doing it for the sake of money alone.
Getting quiet by creating time boundaries enables you to truly listen to what your soul is telling you. I was only able to
Allow yourself to unfold and transform without preconceived
transform myself by silencing the noise. I took three weeks
ideas of how it should happen, and you will soar higher than you
off and committed to real change. Edit your time frequently
ever thought possible!
and ruthlessly.
SEEK QUALITY OVER QUANTITY It is said that the ego wants quantity, but the soul prefers quality. Make your measure of success the difference you can
T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
Jennifer Waller is a happiness architect, teaching women how to transform their lives into the life of their dreams by creating a safe, nurturing, loving environment for them to play. She also makes damn good skincare via CelticComplexion.com. Photos by Amanda Luisa Photography
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A P O R TA L F O R T R A N S F O R M AT I O N + W E A LT H
About our Featured Artist Miriam Elizabeth creates portals to the soul through the medium of pastels. Her art, which relies on intuition, honesty, and divine guidance, is meant to capture her subject’s true essence. She created this piece particularly for The Perpetual You in response to our theme of Transformation and Wealth. @lightupyourtruth / LightUpYourTruth.com The W EALTH ISSU E
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From Selfless to Self-FullTM Self Discovery for Highly Sensitive, Driven Women. www.christidaniels.com
PURPOSEpages – a mindfully centered journal book, in which to record your journey of self-discover y, expression, and creativit y. Begin your legacy at yourpurposepages.com.
The time has come
The time has come for you to live your life wholly, fully, and completely. I'm here to help you be in your body emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically using coaching, breathwork, art, and movement. lydiamandell.com
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MANDELL
Thanks The Perpetual You
We are so blessed to have the following collaborators, stockists, advertising partners, and community friends who have encouraged us to pursue becoming a print publication. Without their support, our magazine would not be what it is today.
IN THIS ISSUE
Writers/Contributors
Models/Makeup
W H ERE T O B UY
Krystal • Micayla • Marie • Rachel Leigh • Cait • Meghan • Jennifer • P.K. • Julia • Earth Speaks, Brooklyn • Paula Jean • Catt • Hayley • Amanda • Nancy • LaToya • Tessa
Molly • Emma • Lola • Caitlin • Tara • Janessa
SaltyGirl Boutique
•
Advertising Partners Chantelle Davis-Gray, p. 0 Little Legends, p. 10
Photographers
Words by Lee Lee, p. 10
Amanda Luisa • Kelly • Kay • Willy • Mary Elizabeth • Cat • Markie • Simi
OM Pajamas, p. 26 Essential Adornments, p. 33 Cinder + Salt, p. 33
Designers/Illustrators Jessie
•
Chantelle • Meaghan • Dana Katie • Amanda Luisa
•
Kennbunk, Maine SaltyGirlBoutique.com
Lovet Shop
Milford, CT ShopLovet.com Want to stock our magazine? Visit bit.ly/TPYpartners.
Purpose Works, p. 98 Christi Daniels, p. 98 Lydia Mandell, p. 98
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© 2017 by The Perpetual You. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the Managing Editor/Publisher. The Perpetual You is printed by DigiLink, Inc., 840 South Pickett Street, Alexandria VA 22304. Digilink-inc.com.
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@FEMILYONTHEGO
@LATOYABURTON_MUSING
@CMJOHNSONART
@CAITLINSTANGELO
@DAILY.INSPIRATION._
@PATSDESIGN
@CAITSHERRICK
@WOMENEUR
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MA N T RA = MI N D S ET
You may have noticed: we’re big fans of mantras. Why? Because language is powerful. When visually displayed, a mantra becomes a way to create your own energy and choose your own beliefs, making transformation a positive part of your day.
Share your #mantra pics with us by tagging @theperpetualyou! T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU
M A N T R A by K R Y S T A L B R A N D T, P H O T O by W A L K E R S T U D I O L L C
S EPT EMBER MA N T RA