On Sleepovers

to a friend’s house was one of most exhilarating experiences growing up. It was the end goal of every playdate, every hang out, and an overall “rite of passage” for young Americans. The resistance against one’s eyelids as they would become increasingly heavier with every blink and every minute towards midnight. The internal fight to not be the first one asleep or the last one awake when the sun rose. Come morning, the adrenaline from waking up in a foreign place sustains your true exhaustion through the car ride back home. Sleepovers, as draining as they were, were a true staple in everyone’s childhood, including mine. These small moments not only offered opportunities to escape the four walls of your home — you could be careless and silly, as well as a bit subversive — but also doorways into hidden worlds. You could catch a glimpse of other families’ lives and norms. But it may not be as romantic as it seems, as a greater debate about the safety and veracity of sleepovers has begun to take root.

According to Paula Fass, a teacher at the University of California, Berkeley, sleepovers are now a popular subject of Google searches filled with cautious remarks from parents and an overwhelming theme of avoidance. As our impressionable society reads these remarks, Fass claims the result is “a decline of [sleepovers] as a regular experience among regular kids.”

In the past, when sleepovers were more than common, life was simpler.

Parents trusted other parents. In our world today, concerns about exposure at a young age, cultural differences, and the general safety of a child are rising. Though I appreciate these concerns about sleepovers, I do not understand why parents’ fears should prevent what could be a positive learning experience for their child. Why does it matter if the hosting family prays before a meal or if they have a different family structure? Will this small moment of the larger experience taint the rest of a child’s life? Or would it simply make for a slightly uncomfortable feeling that could vanish within minutes? Sleepovers provide an introductory experience of empowerment and an introduction to real life. Since children have limited control over their daily lives, small choices, like which movie to watch or what food to eat, sleepovers allow them to feel independent for a short period of time. According to an article by Erika Christakis in The Atlantic, a child’s exposure to opportunities to learn from other families can be a positive factor in that child’s development. Through experiences in which they navigate their independence, make their own decisions, and gain exposure to new cultures, children are able to better adjust to the real world and new environments. The world is a dangerous place. If you look for it, there is danger in everything. But in the world we live in, the fear of introducing children to the smallest differences will only push future generations further apart. More than ever, in order to prevent this and to prevent our differences from harming society, parents need to be more open to the exposure that sleepovers can provide.