February 2024 THEPITCHKC.COM
February 2024 CONTENTS THEPITCHKC.COM
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Showing love to the planet this Valentine’s Day Each year, Valentine’s Day sees an incredible amount of gifts purchased and waste produced. Matt Riggs of Recycle Now says our solid waste in the city increases by 25% between November and February. The impacts of Valentine’s Day alone add up to more CO2 emissions than if you were to drive around the world 3,993 times. This story covers the various ways in which the Hallmark holiday impacts our local environment and how to help reduce our carbon footprint. Miranda Rohn of ScrapsKC also shares some insight into how you can enjoy an environmentally friendly holiday. Adobe Stock
Documentary short Parker silhouettes the surprising power of a surname
Steph Castor
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Parker is a short documentary about a Kansas City family that has made its mark nationally. The 13-minute film follows three generations as they change their names to match that of their father. This is particularly significant for those within the African American community due to slavery and its aftermath. The film cannot currently be viewed, though it was recently shown at multiple film festivals. The film will be embedded within the article when it becomes available to the public.
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4 LETTER
10 Dripping with Rizoma
13 Mise en Place
6 CULTURE
Damon Arredondo spearheads the metro’s flagship Hispanic brewery BY MADDIE MCBRATNEY
11 Eat This Now
Kin Seltzer founder Joshua Lewis on creative strategy and natural flavors BY SARAH SIPPLE
Taiwanese Fried Chicken at Chewology BY SARAH SIPPLE
Wish Fulfillment Samantha Fish collab with Jesse Dayton spawns Grammy nomination BY NICK SPACEK
Letter from the Editor A steady drip, drip, drip BY BROCK WILBUR
The Thrill of the Hunt Understanding the art of antiquing in KC BY ERIN WOODIEL
8 FOOD & DRINK
Pop Art Vignettes is ready to steal the spotlight BY JORDAN BARANOWSKI
Drink This Now Tea Time at Emilie’s French Teas BY SARAH SIPPLE
12 Saddle Up, Partner
Chartreuse Saloon is the inclusive cowboy hang KC deserves BY LAUREN TEXTOR
14 MUSIC
18 KC CARES
KC Cares Pawsperity BY BETH LIPOFF
15 FILM
Present Tense Randy Bacon freeze-frames our city’s diversity as museum modernity BY ABBY OLCESE
16 ADVICE
Keep Them Coming Splash of Science: An explanation of squirting BY KRISTEN THOMAS
Cover by Cassondra Jones
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THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
February 2024 THEPITCHKC.COM
Editor-in-Chief Brock Wilbur President & Chief Operating Officer Andrew Miller Director of Marketing & Promotions Jason Dockery Managing Editor Steph Castor Community Manager & Food Editor Sarah Sipple Music Editor Nick Spacek Film Editor Abby Olcese Little Village Creative Services Jordan Sellergren Art Director Cassondra Jones Editorial Interns Maddie McBratney, Gabriel Flynn Contributing Writers Michael Mackie, Barb Shelly, Beth Lipoff, Kristen Thomas, Jordan Baranowski, Lauren Textor, Adrian Torres, Scott Poore, Hana Kim, Nina Cherry, Brynn Winkler, Sofia Mongillo, Rachel Potucek, Emily Jacobs, Hayden Kalp, Joe Ellett, Mar’Che Boggess, Zoe Strohm, Erin Woodiel Contributing Photographers Zach Bauman, Brooke Tramel, Maura Dayton, Isabella Galvan, Allison Scavo, Pilsen Photo Co-op Contributing Designers and Illustrators Alex Peak, Chloe Freeman, Jake Edmisten
Design by Lydia Johnson
Killith Faire brings a delightfully dark femme-rock fundraiser to recordBar on Feb. 10 Started by Kristin Conkright of Frogpond, Killith Faire—a play on ‘90s grrrl rock staple Lilith Fair—features bands from throughout the KC and Lawrence areas. Members from The Creepy Jingles, Emmaline Twist, Cowtown Country Club, The Black Creatures, and more are all working together to form a new musical experience where more than 20 women/femme-identifying musicians are able to show their skill in a new, unique way. The event benefits the Midwest Music Foundation, an organization that helps local musicians with grants for emergency medical care.
Letter from the Editor A STEADY DRIP, DRIP, DRIP By Brock Wilbur
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Greetings, dearest reader, and welcome to the February 2024 issue of The Pitch. Our vibe this month is “Liquid Love,” which is, admittedly, one of our more abstract-themed issues. Our publication has had food on the cover hundreds of times over the past 44 years. How often do drinks get the same spotlight? Well, far fewer. And that’s wild because the act of drinking— in all its forms—is one of life’s great (and oft-complicated) pleasures. In looking at the place of assorted fluids and solutions across our culture, it’s fantastical to consider the building blocks of one entire type of matter and the degree to which we both depend upon it while reinventing and expanding its reach. Water itself—the foundation of life and its delivery system from the sky above us or parts of the earth deep below us—has such a journey to even reach humanity. Its abundance or limitations change everything about our economy and our population and dictate what food we have access to. Hell, the very rumor of its existence dictates whether or not we believe life can exist on other planets. At the same time, we find it so boring that we’ve invented thousands of ways to carbonate and flavor it. That hydrogen and oxygen bonded together is our biggest hurdle to settlements on Mars, and/or getting properly fucked up on White Claw is such
a staggering spectrum of possibility… Yeehaw! With the mystery and malleability of limitless libation options, it’s no surprise that the healing powers of assorted tonics, baths, and over-analyzed hydrations have always held sway in some corners of Americana mythology. The healing powers of everything from the latest GOOP-adjacent cleanse to the spiritual promise/threat of a wishing well represent the sheer scope with which we are willing to ascribe power to wetness in all its forms. Thanks to fellow Missouri journalist Sarah Kendzior’s book They Knew, I’ve recently fallen down a rabbit hole regarding Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and the life of huckster Norman G. Baker. Baker was an early American radio broadcaster, entrepreneur, and inventor who secured fame—as well as state and federal prison terms—by promoting a supposed cure for cancer in the 1930s. Coming off the Spanish Flu in the 1920s, Baker saw potential to fleece the desperate and began near-constant radio sermons, advocating for his own brand of miracle tonics while also ranting endlessly about a secret cabal running America into the ground and declaring scientists, doctors, and other educated voices to be “fake news.” Perhaps you see why I’m currently obsessed with the deceit of a fraudster 100 years ago, who pedaled a brand of exploitation that got people killed, and how his process to fleece the gullible has somehow echoed through time to carry such modern connotations. His reliance on the fictionalized power of Eureka Springs and his ability to do great
harm under its guise somehow only partially reflect the lore and the stories of “healing” waters at play here. It’s all wrapped together in a convoluted, difficult-to-parse history of just how far humans want to take their belief and enjoyment of all damp matters. Far, far from the medical malpractice of a snake-oil salesman, the last few years of my life have involved a heightened focus on the double-edged sword whenever I find a cup that runneth over. Liquid courage is responsible for taking daring romantic chances, for building bonds with friends and strangers, and—unchecked—it has more than once dared to burn my life into ash. The toast is, in so many ways, the highest form of community and compliment that humanity shares across all cultures and nations. Even my last 15 months and a journey into the deep fascination with teas and juices from across the globe have opened up my mind and body to entirely new forms of pleasure. So that’s where “Liquid Love” started for us in this issue. Everything from a brewery carving out a new homestead in an otherwise whitewashed industry to the contemplation of a tea room that dares you to disconnect from the hubbub of the outside world, to—yes, you knew it was coming—our own physiological reactions to the wonders of sexuality… These are the pages where we decided to turn on the waterworks. Come for a swim in the deep end with us. Pitch in, and we’ll make it through,
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5
CULTURE
The Thrill of the Hunt UNDERSTANDING THE ART OF ANTIQUING IN KC By Erin Woodiel
Imagine that you enter a store, taking in a massive collage of color, texture, and style. You carefully squeeze through aisle after aisle, moving between shelves and towering piles of boxes. A model airplane hanging in the corner catches your eye. Your shoulder brushes a rack of furs. You open a creaky roll-top desk to find antique doorknobs in one of its drawers. Eventually, you emerge victorious, having found something one-of-a-kind. Something with a story and a history. It is a perfect addition to perhaps a collection, wardrobe, or home decor. Antique stores are known for their hidden gems, curated to present customers with the most eye-catching, unique finds. But how do these rich collections of antiques make their way into Kansas City shops?
WILLING TO LOOK ANYWHERE Antiques dealers are constantly on the lookout for their next score. They scope out auctions, estate sales, internet ads, garage sales, piles of junk on the curb, and even other antique stores. It’s all fair game. “I’ll buy anything if it’s cheap,” says Terry Sanchez, owner of Weird Stuff Antiques. Anyone who walks into his store leaves with a “Wanted!” flyer listing everything from cars and motorcycles to neon signs, leather biker jackets, guitars, coin-operated machines, taxidermy, and art deco collectibles. Word of mouth is the business model Sanchez has used for decades, and while the internet has made it easier for people to send him photos of items for sale, he still counts on personal relationships for the best finds. “It used to be a cup of coffee and a cigarette, circling newspaper ads,” he says. “Now people go on the internet to Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace. That’s the new shopping.” The ease of online shopping and the rise in popularity of shows like American Pickers have changed the landscape of antique and vintage item buying. “As crazy as it is, everybody’s a picker now,” says Sanchez. An extra level of business savvy and experience is what he feels sets seasoned antiques buyers apart from first-timers comparing their items to the going rates on eBay. If he asks someone to name their price and they start researching similar items on their phone, Sanchez says he loses interest. He wants to find deals organically using the old-school, in-person approach. Heather London, owner of Urban Mining Antiques, agrees that as interest in vintage and antiques has gone up in recent years, sourcing items has become more difficult. However, she says that the added challenge does make the hunt even more satisfying when she scores big. London’s favorite find came from the estate sale of University of Kansas art professor Nick Vaccaro and his wife, Luella. Both were artists in Lawrence who primarily worked in the 1950s and ‘60s. Rooms were filled with large fine art paintings, pottery, and Vaccaro’s “magic boxes”—three-dimensional mixed media vignettes. “The whole house was just oozing with the most amazing things,” says London. “People were coming through and talking about how these two were the best people. I still get goosebumps because it’s such beautiful work, and I heard so many stories about this couple, and it all just sort of tied together.” Discovering a piece of local history can often turn an interesting item into a must-have.
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THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
WHAT SELLS So, how does an antique seller know what their customers will want? There are about as many ways to approach antique buying as there are people who do it. When the name of the game is one-of-a-kind finds, every customer comes in expecting something different. Jessica Caulkins, owner of River Market Antiques, has seen 12-year-olds saving their allowance to start a coin collection or buy some retro Hot Wheels. She’s seen couples in their 90s rediscovering items they remember from their own childhood. People come in seeking specific vintage Pyrex patterns, hardware from old home salvage, or sentimental pieces of Kansas City history that remind them of a late relative. That said, as it is with any retail venture, trends do ebb and flow in the realm of the vintage. Caulkins has spent 17 years managing a building of roughly 165 vendors, and she’s seen plenty of throughlines in her customer base’s interests. The current trend with the strongest hold? Mid-century modern furniture. Caulkins watched the number of mid-century dealers “skyrocket” about 15 years ago, and the demand for it still hasn’t died. “It’s a style that looks good in lofts,” she says. “It’s simple and can really fit in a lot of different homes. I think as more loft dwellers came down to Kansas City, they put in more apartments with large open spaces.” Trends can also be short-lived. Caulkins remembers a bridal magazine several years ago featuring glass milk bottle vases as wedding centerpieces. That season, vintage glassware was all the rage. “I tell you what, they were flying out of here,” she says. “You see something vintage in a magazine, and all of a sudden, everybody wants it.” London’s boutique-style pop-up antique store draws more like-minded clientele. The 30 vendors at Urban Mining each have a unique eye, but London generally knows that those who visit her store want high design, clean lines, and classic architectural elements in their furniture. She does, however, think geography plays a role in what’s trending for consumers. Different Kansas City neighborhoods come with different tastes in home decor. “I’m always surprised about that,” Caulkins says. “There’ll be stores maybe 6 miles from us that are selling things I feel like we couldn’t get away with in our store. But it sells like hotcakes not that far from here.” After 50 years of selling vintage items, Terry Sanchez doesn’t bother trying to keep up with what’s “in.” He certainly noticed when he sold nearly 500 bicycles last year, and just went these past three months without selling a single one. Change has been a constant in his business. Old signs, cars, and musical instruments are the items Sanchez can always find a clientele for. Everything else comes down to novelty to keep people coming around. “If I keep it fun, I can always sell it,” Sanchez says.
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‘IT’S WHAT WE LIVE FOR’ There’s no single way to appreciate antiques, but local dealers agree they got into the business purely for the love of it. Sanchez has been reselling old things his entire life. Even the shop cat, Callie, who roams Weird Stuff Antiques, was picked up at an estate sale after the previous owners left her behind. “There’s always something new and different and unusual,” Sanchez says. “Without fail, I still learn something every week, and I get to talk to like-minded people.” Caulkins has an affinity for anything vintage, with Art Nouveau as her current favorite era. But her pride in her work comes from resisting the “throwaway” culture she sees in much of today’s society. “We feel like we’re the original recycler,” she says. “So much is made poorly and thrown away, and it’s killing our earth. I think it’s so important in this day and age to buy used and refurbish.” And at its core, for both sellers and buyers alike, much of antiquing comes down to the thrill of the hunt. “That’s what we live for,” says London. “When you find something really outrageous, it’s kind of a high, like that’s the Holy Grail. That’s what it’s all about.”
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7
FOOD & DRINK
If you follow the local cocktail scene, you’ve likely seen photos of the pop-culture-infused pop-ups by Vignettes. Most recently, the North Kansas City bar played host to “Winter of Wizardry,” featuring drinks, decorations, and even a magical mystery game, all inspired by a certain school for witchcraft and wizardry. Edward Schmalz, Vignettes’ operating owner, hopes to keep the magic flowing throughout 2024 as his team builds on their successes over the last few years. If you’re unfamiliar, Vignettes is more than just a few themed beverages. Every few months, it closes for about a week to completely transform the bar. In addition to unique food and drink offerings, that may include staff costuming, art commissions, set design and decoration, live entertainment, and more. Past themes have included “Stranger Drinks,” “Bob’s BARgers,” and the “Malibu Dream Bar,” among many others. “Essentially, we’re a bunch of theater kids who like to create and drink good cocktails,” Schmalz says. “We bounce themes off of one another until we land on the right fit, then build an immersive experience from there. We try to brainstorm how to get those big moments and memorable callouts that will create a memorable visit for hardcore and casual fans alike.” Maggie Boone, Schmalz’s wife and the creative director at Vignettes, is unleashing a bit of a passion project for their first new theme in 2024. “Dolly Pop-Up: The Best Little Tribute Bar in Kansas City” promises to
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POP ART VIGNETTES IS READY TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT By Jordan Baranowski
be full of rhinestones, glitz, and glam—all with plenty of country twang. Boone herself is a singer, songwriter, and composer, and couldn’t wait to create a tribute to Dolly in the Vignettes space. “Dolly has been a back-pocket theme for Maggie for a long time,” Schmalz says. “We were just waiting for the right time and thought it would make a great fit for our post-holiday theme.” Entertainment will include live music on Friday and Saturday, karaoke on Sunday and Monday, a game show on Tuesday, trivia night on Wednesday, and music bingo on Thursday. “Entertainment will not be strictly confined to Dolly, but we’ve got some pretty fun ideas for paying tribute to America’s darling,” Schmalz says. Of course, the magic of Vignettes extends to the drink menu itself, and Bar Manager Scott Helling is creating some absolute bombshells. He is particularly excited about a drink called the Rhinestone Romeo, and he is also in the process of finding glasses shaped like pink cowboy hats for another
THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
drink. Generally, there are about a dozen themed cocktails, along with beer and NA options, and a standard food menu. The scenery and decorations are also coming together, and it sounds like the “Dolly Pop-Up” is going to be yet another winner for the team at Vignettes. Reservations are recommended and available on Vignettes’ website for $5 per person, or you can take your chances with a walk-in. “The Best Little Tribute Bar in Kansas City” is currently scheduled to run until March 16—then the creative process kicks back in. “We essentially have all of our themes after ‘Dolly’ planned out already through the rest of the year,” Schmalz says. “ We like to be flexible in case something new comes along that we absolutely have to get on board with, but it helps us to create a more engaging experience if we’ve planned ahead. It makes it much easier to find and commission any artists or other specialty needs we might have.” He is also trying to figure out if and when to break out some of the old favorites. Vignettes has operated for over three years now, and the team has created over two
Courtesy photos
dozen pop-ups during that time. They are focusing more on their home bar pop-ups this year, but they have partnered with other entities to help create themed events. For example, the “Kingdom’s Greetings” holiday pop-up at Arrowhead was a partnership between the Kansas City Chiefs and Vignettes. “The nature of timed pop-ups is tough,” Schmalz says. “You want to build the excitement, but you also feel bad when people miss things they really want to be a part of.” Some, like the Swifty-inspired “Just Another Pop-Up To Burn,” proved exceedingly popular and made it tough for people to land reservations. Others, like “The Pop-Up Before Christmas” and “Stranger Drinks,” were fan and staff favorites that may make a return somewhere down the line. “If we do a repeat, we don’t just want it to be a rehash,” Schmalz says. “We will definitely look to make it bigger and better than before.” “Dolly Pop-Up: The Best Little Tribute Bar in Kansas City” is open now at Vignettes. Stop by for some karaoke and a tasty cocktail once you get off your 9 to 5. And don’t forget your fringe.
VIGNETTES 2376 Armour Road North Kansas City, MO, 64116 6-11 p.m. Sunday through Thursday 6 p.m. - 1 a.m. Friday and Saturday
THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
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FOOD & DRINK
Dripping with Rizoma DAMON ARREDONDO SPEARHEADS THE METRO’S FLAGSHIP HISPANIC BREWERY By Maddie McBratney
Damon Arredondo, owner and founder of Rizoma, grew up in Parkville, where most residents are white and Catholic. As a child, he felt deeply disconnected from his Latinx roots due, in part, to the community in which he was raised. He always had a desire for a safe space but no luck in finding one. “I don’t speak Spanish,” says Arredondo. “I have a Mexican last name, but I was less connected with my Mexican roots because of family divorce. I still identify as Mexican, and my story connects with a lot of people.” Years later, he found himself in Oregon, working for first-generation Mexican American restaurant owners. Arredondo says the idea for Rizoma started while working as a brewer for their business. He felt the restaurant was deeply exploitative of Mexi-
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can culture, so he sold his share and moved back to Kansas City. The idea for Rizoma has been eight years in the making for Arredondo. The beer industry is one that is predominantly white, and he wanted to be a part of changing that narrative by creating a company that could support his heritage in a much more honest way than he had previously experienced. The name Rizoma is Spanish for “rhizome” or “root” and serves as an homage to the Latinx roots of the company. Arredondo does not want his company to represent “Latinism” but rather wants his company to serve as a platform for the Latinx voices within the metro. He encourages people to reach out to him on social media or his website with their own stories. “‘Latinism’ isn’t even really a word, but it’s really like the state of being a Latino or Hispanic,” Arredondo says. “For me, what does that even mean? And how do we identify with it?” The company’s logo was designed by Edwing Mendez, a friend of Arredondo and a co-owner of Rizoma. Mendez is a local graphic designer as well as the art director of the brewery. The logo was designed with simplicity in mind to allow for easy screen-printing. The “O” in the image has four dots around it, designed to resemble people sitting around a kitchen table. According to Arredondo, the most difficult and honest conversations take place at the table after dinner is finished—the types of conversations he wants to foster with his company and product.
THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
Intentionality is important to Arredondo. Rizoma is committed to remaining a Latinx-majority ownership. Though limitations can sometimes make the process trickier, they are also particular about choosing vendors that are predominantly Latinx. Currently, Rizoma features two main brews: “El Sol” and “La Luna.” Though he does plan to dabble in an IPA or seasonal flavor in the future, Arredondo prefers to keep it simple for now and believes his brews are merely a way to get the conversations started—not what the conversations should be about. The goal of the company is to only be 30% about what you drink and 70% about who you are drinking with. “You know, it’s really just about being something that brings people together,” says Arredondo. Rizoma does not have a physical location yet, but they are currently in negotiations and hope to have a space to share with the community soon. Arredondo feels that having safe spaces in the community, such as the one he plans to create, allows for people to share their stories and experiences. “I’m just a big, emotional person, and I tend to cry publicly sometimes,” Arredondo says. The flagship will be a multi-purpose facility that can serve as a home to the brewery, a taproom, and a gathering place. Within the space, Arredondo would like to hold events such as concerts, poetry slams, and open mic comedy nights. He says the walls will be decorated with works from local artists to encourage conversation among
Damon Arredondo samples a brew. Courtesy photo
RIZOMA LIQUID CREATIONS rizomaliquidcreations.com guests. Future plans for the company include partnering with organizations in the sale of his two main brews to benefit local nonprofits. “How can we leverage our space to support these places? To share their mission? How can we be a platform for people to impact others? I believe that being a business like this means we have a responsibility to create a community center,” says Arredondo.
FEELING CHEESY?
WE CAN HELP WITH THAT!
Taiwanese Fried Chicken at Chewology By Sarah Sipple
Chewology 900 Westport Rd. Kansas City, MO 64111
Chewology is nestled on a small corner in Westport, blending contemporary Taiwanese dishes with the Midwestern ideology of supporting local and sustainable ingredients. The atmosphere, price point, and menu rest at the sweet spot
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of being comfortable for a casual, after-work pop-in for a drink and small plate while also being a special-occasion restaurant that one would book weeks in advance. This particular visit was one of those casual pop-ins, and on this frigid Monday, the service was as warm and welcoming as ever. To start, the Smoked Salmon Spring Rolls ($12) are best when shared and dipped in umeboshi duck sauce. I haven’t seen this dish anywhere else in KC. About the size of a cigar, the thin and crispy wrappers are filled with smoked salmon and cream cheese, plus green onion and chile. The filling is so fine and well mixed that each bite is uniform and perfectly smoky. For a sharable protein, the Taiwanese Fried Chicken ($12) is poppable and satisfying with or without the optional mayo dip. This chicken dish has a light but crispy breading of sweet potato starch and soy, seasoned with five-spice and basil. The fivespice blend (usually meaning fennel, star anise, cassia bark, clove, and Sichuan peppercorns) dominates the scent and flavor but does not overpower. Diners sensitive to spicy foods should not be alarmed, this is a mild dish. Two of my other go-to’s at Chewology include the Veggie Dumplings ($13) and Tofu Bao ($8). The Veggie Dumplings are easy to share since an order comes with four or five and are filled with bok choy, carrot, taro, shiitake mushrooms, tofu, and ginger. Tofu Bao is a filling handheld securing fried local tofu with a sweet sesame glaze, plus alliums and cilantro. Both dishes are warm, chewy, and savory, with a hint of sweetness.
Tea Time at Emilie’s French Teas By Sarah Sipple
Emilie’s French Teas 8131 Wornall Rd. Kansas City, MO 64114
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Among the chatter of romance this month, I’m here to suggest a fitting spot for some self-love. Emilie’s French Teas has transformed a former bridal store in Waldo into a serene tea room and cultural space. Every detail beckons you to relax, unplug, and slow down for a moment of reflection. Tea is the star of the show, with 50+ options that encompass a variety of cultures, plants, and desired benefits. The namesake and owner, Emilie Jackson, is well-versed in all things tea and hospitality. Her deeply personal space is well-curated with French music and books, rich drapery, tea and accouterments for sale, photos of travel to cultural tea sites, and thriving plants. The small tea room is not silent but quiet enough to invite reflection, encouraging you to slow down and savor your drink and fresh-baked pastries. I chose to warm up with a full pot of black tea and two madeleines, or French butter cakes. The tea varietal that called to me was a dark berry blend called 4 Fruits Rouges—black tea with aromas of cherry, strawberry, raspberry, and red currant flowed from the small ceramic teapot, warming my hands, my face, and my soul. I recommend visiting with a book or a journal. Placards invite you to unplug for the duration of your visit, but I didn’t feel ashamed as I took photos of my order. In fact, I was inspired to put my phone away and take my notes in my leather notebook, sit in comfortable solitude (though there were other patrons), and eventually flip through an old National Geographic magazine. At this Waldo oasis, there is tea for every possible moment and taste. There is no better time to stop by for a solo outing to warm and soothe the senses. If you’re feeling extra, you can opt for an infrared sauna session to accompany your tea time. Double the warmth, double the relaxing time for yourself. You deserve it. THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
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FOOD & DRINK
Saddle Up, Partner Chartreuse Saloon can be a bit of a sensory overload if you don’t know what to expect. As indicated by the name, the color scheme is yellow-green, and the theme is cowboy. Steer skulls and a single dart board are mounted on the walls. Green-and-black chess tables are arranged in a row by the outside wall. A small corner is neatly sectioned into a dining area with mini swinging saloon doors. The menu is a paper list taped to the bar. It reads: Loaded Nachos ($12), Slappy Meal ($14), BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich ($8), Street Corn Dip ($8), Hummus ($8), Bag of Chips ($2), Snack Treat ($2), and Pickled Egg ($2). After buzzing in and being IDed at the door, my friend leaned in close to me and asked, “Why are we here again?” It was 7:30 p.m. on a Friday, and the only other bar patrons were a handful of middle-aged men shooting pool. I wasn’t deterred. I had already spotted a Black Lives Matter sign and multiple pro-choice stickers. Emboldened, I led the way to the bar. We each ordered a seasonal cocktail (me, the Apricot Crumble, and my friend, the Poached Pear). Then, we filled out a paper slip to customize our nachos. We settled on chicken nachos with black beans, pico de gallo, cilantro, lime crema, and a side of spicy “Chartreuse Juice.” I wasn’t feeling adventurous enough to add pickled eggs ($2 each), though I noted that vegan cheez was available for an additional $2 charge. We staked out a spot on the bench with our cocktails and a cup full of darts secured from the friendly bartender. Within a few minutes, our nachos were delivered. They were lukewarm but delicious, especially the shredded, smoked chicken. My Apricot Crumble ($10) was sweet and refreshing with just a hint of tartness,
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CHARTREUSE SALOON IS THE INCLUSIVE COWBOY HANG KC DESERVES By Lauren Textor although it felt like more of a summer menu item. The bartender encouraged us to check in if we wanted the flavor tweaked, but I was more than satisfied with the chill, sippable drink. I preferred it to both of the other seasonal cocktails that I later taste-tested ($10 each). The Poached Pear consists of port wine, pear brandy and liqueur, bitters, fall syrup, and lemon. Plum’s the Word is Rock & Bourbon with fig liqueur, plum liqueur, bitters, and lemon. The Apricot Crumble, as you might have guessed, is also fruity alcohol (apricot brandy) with a matching liqueur, fall syrup, bitters, and lemon. They’re similar, but the deciding factor is your desired level of sweet versus tart and bitter. Chartreuse Saloon also offers non-alcoholic beers and mocktails. After we devoured the nachos, my friend ordered a customized hot dog, as she had fasted all day in preparation for our outing. After the first few bites, she declared it “decent.” “It’s not a bad dog,” she said. “But I expected it to be better.” Fair enough. Especially because the rest of Chartreuse Saloon sets the bar so high. Less than an hour in, we started listing other friends that needed to experience its queer cowboy vibe. Chartreuse Saloon’s laidback yet inclusive aura may seem effortless, but it couldn’t be more intentional. Jill Cockson is a hospitality consultant and the majority owner of the saloon, but she’s also one of the masterminds behind Swordfish Tom’s, Drastic Measures, and the newly opened Anna’s Place in Omaha. These other ventures are cocktail bars. With
THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
Chartreuse Saloon, Cockson had a different vision. She was inspired by her Nebraskan upbringing, her certainty that she would be a circus freak in a different era, and the history of chartreuse, a color that is named after the spirit produced by Carthusian monks. “My idea was, ‘Where would the circus performers come to hang out after a gig?’” Cockson says. This question turned into a color-coordinated hangout with an emphasis on inclusivity, western flair, and food waste reduction. “The food is all things that use a lot of the same products,” Cockson says. “That was important to me—one, from a cost perspective, and two, from a ‘we’re gross Americans and we waste way too much stuff’ perspective. I grew up with my dad, who ran grocery stores, so I grew up seeing how much stuff gets thrown away. On one hand, Americans need lots of choices. How do you create something that gives people enough options that they feel like they have choices, but not so many choices that you’re just throwing half your food away?” Cockson and Kitchen Manager Emily Stranimier collaborated on the streamlined menu, which includes customizable hot dogs and nachos, along with vegetarian and vegan options. This creates enough overlap in ingredients to minimize food waste. It also allows Cockson to funnel money into other areas. “The pool tables that we have are the best that money can buy,” Cockson says. “If you’re playing for a world championship, you’re playing on these. They’re 9-foot diamonds. When the pool players come in,
they immediately recognize what these tables are. Part of the angle of keeping pool free is that anyone can challenge the table at any time, which means that professional pool players can’t come in and monopolize the tables all night long.” Patrons can also borrow darts, checkers, and chess from the house, but that’s not the only entertainment Chartreuse Saloon has to offer. The saloon is teaming up with Burlesque Downtown Underground to offer the city’s only burlesque brunch. Performer and owner of Kansas City Burlesque Madame MacKay says the shows are themed, which can mean anything from country, rockabilly, or Ransom cowgirl to steampunk or blues. “Jill sought us out,” MacKay says. “She’s always had this feeling that burlesque belongs in the saloon, and I’m always up for an artistic venture.” “I serve poison for a living, you know? I never want it to be about the poison,” Cockson says. “I don’t want it to be about people getting excessively drunk. I want them to have a good time and create lasting memories with the special people they chose to spend the night with.”
CHARTREUSE SALOON 1625 Oak St., Kansas City, MO 64108 Pool tournaments are hosted on the second and fourth Thursday of the month with a $10 buy-in. Check in by 6:30 p.m. First through third place win a cash prize. Live music is played most Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Burlesque brunches are hosted every other month in collaboration with Burlesque Downtown Underground.
FOOD & DRINK
MISE EN PLACE
Mise En Place is a series of questions, answers, recommendations, and culinary wisdom from the food and drink masters that push KC flavor further. The following answers have been edited for length and clarity.
KIN SELTZER FOUNDER JOSHUA LEWIS ON CREATIVE STRATEGY AND NATURAL FLAVORS By Sarah Sipple
Joshua Lewis is a man about town. The self-proclaimed “party guy” leveraged his sociability to launch a party-finding app in 2016. As the parties, club events, and networking flowed, inspiration struck for a product that would connect it all: an alcoholic seltzer made in Kansas City and designed with the tens of thousands of followers of his personal and business accounts in mind. Equally suited for the dance floor, small kickbacks, or served alongside dinner, Kin Seltzer is the first Black-owned seltzer brand in the United States. Kin is brewed and bottled at Border Brewing Co. and carried in restaurants, bars, and venues around the metro. We sat down with Lewis to chat about KC’s party culture, mindful collaborations, and the perfect BBQ pairing. The Pitch: Tell us about your background. Joshua Lewis: I moved here from Dallas on an athletic scholarship to play basketball at Park University. And party, party, party. Even on game days, I would go straight to the club. I just was a very social guy. But, I realized that I would get old eventually, so I needed to create some type of business around something I love. I have a community of people who love to go out and drink and have a good time, so why not give them more products? Something they can consider their own. I realized that consumers wanted something they could drink that was a little more tailored to them from a marketing perspective.
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Tell us about Kin Seltzer. It’s an amazing product. Let’s start there. There are no artificial flavors. It’s actually really small chunks of pineapple and peaches at the bottom, so you know it’s real. The flavors are a little more natural. I did that because the audience that we lead with is authentic, natural, and very real. We tried to make the product the same as the person so it could relate and match. Right now, we’re in 25 locations that can be found on our website, but that number is growing by the week. Anywhere that you’re you’re listening to a DJ—we’re probably there. What obstacles have you faced while building the brand? There’s a positive and a negative to our targeted consumer not being a
Courtesy photo
KIN SELTZER kinseltzer.com typical beer or seltzer drinker. We had to get over that hurdle of getting them to try it, but luckily for us, we had a pretty good marketing strategy of attaching everything to live, in-person events. But even with that, it took time. Most people react with surprise when they taste Kin for the first time, saying, “Oh, I like this, and I don’t even drink seltzers.” What advice do you have for entrepreneurs? Focus on community. I think the reason we had a successful first few months is because we had a community already. And if you’re not a person within that community, you need to team up with a person who has built it. If you have the resources to start your own drink or product, go find somebody who can bring the people. So, you recommend collaborating based on your strengths. Do you have any dream collaborations in Kansas City? “Dream” may not be the best word for me. I think the smartest, most lucrative collaboration for us would be with Power and Light. Without a doubt, that kind of partnership would change the game for the community that parties there. Other smart moves on my mind would be partnering with Gates BBQ, KC Current, and, of course, the Chiefs. Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce getting their hands on my drink would be amazing. Including some Kin, of course, what would be a perfect Saturday night meal in KC? Char Bar. It’s my favorite combo: the burnt ends plate with cheesy corn bake and BBQ pit beans. With a Kin to round it out. Then it depends on the night, but you’ll find me next at Aura, Ale House, Society, Nighthawk, or Social in Waldo.
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THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
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MUSIC
Wish Fulfillment SAMANTHA FISH COLLAB WITH JESSE DAYTON SPAWNS GRAMMY NOMINATION By Nick Spacek
Released in May of 2023, Death Wish Blues, the collaborative album between blues rockers Samantha Fish and Jesse Dayton, sees the pair taking the sparks from their 2022 EP, The Stardust Sessions, and fanning them into a fullblown blaze. In support of the Rounder Records release produced by Jon Spencer, Kansas City’s Fish and the Texas-born Dayton take the show on the road this spring with the Supadupabad Tour, which hits the Truman on Thursday, February 22. We spoke with both artists separately by phone about the album and the upcoming tour ahead of their KC date. The Pitch: It seems like you and Samantha Fish have found like-minded cohorts in each other. Jesse Dayton: Very much so. We think very similarly about not getting caught up in— you know, we just do stuff that we like that feels right or challenging. Samantha is pretty fearless, and so am I. Samantha Fish: Jon is an incredible person and artist, and just getting to watch him work in a different capacity—just the way he produces, the way he records, how he mics things, the choices that he was making, and how he was helping us get what we needed out of our performances—he’s really a creative person, and it was just a joy to work with him. Is that what led you to want to make Death Wish Blues with him? Dayton: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, both of us have been fans for a long time. Sam, especially, is into that whole North Mississippi blues thing, and I come from a more Texas blues kind of influence, but I loved the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. I saw him in the early days when RL Burnside was opening for him, so we knew he would do something different in this. We wouldn’t go in there and do the same old thing where it’s like the Stevie Ray Vaughan Strat guitar or the John Bonham drums—the typical stuff. I love all that, but the world needs that record like we need a hole in our head, you know? Fish: It’s been quite a ride, and just the whole process has been really artistically fulfilling. It’s been kind of a departure from my solo stuff, but it’s still in line with all the music that I love. I hate to use the word “fun” be-
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Jesse Dayton and Samantha Fish. Courtesy photo
cause it feels like a trivial thing, but it’s been really fucking fun. Was it that sense of fun that made you want to get together and write after recording The Stardust Sessions? Fish: Jesse and I reconnected in January of 2022. He was playing a show in New Orleans that I went out and saw. This idea for a duet record had been floating around my camp for a while, just something like a side project with another person. In my mind’s eye, it was even more extreme, almost like a sweaty punk rock and roll record that we just go and do, almost like a moonlighting gig, but it stayed more in line with who we were as artists. When we started writing together, and we went to this little studio and cut an EP, I don’t think we ever really intended to do anything with those songs. It was just more or less an experiment, like, “Let’s see if we sound good together,” but the record label dug it, and so they put it out as an introduction to what was to come. Once they got in line with it, we were like, “All right, we better start writing,” that’s when Jon Spencer came into the fold. That’s when we got really busy trying to create these songs for this record. Dayton: It was really weird because we went into a studio with just a pick-up rhythm section. It was a funky little studio in New Orleans in this guy’s backyard. We recorded some covers, and I took the tapes back to Austin and mixed them. The next thing I knew, our manager said that Rounder wanted to put those songs out. That kind of encouraged us, but both of our fan bases were scratching their heads when we first started working
THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
THE SUPADUPABAD TOUR with Samantha Fish and Jesse Dayton The Truman Thursday, February 22 together. We did a Magic Sam song, a Clash song, and a Townes Van Zandt song. That set the barometer being all over the map. What was the process of putting together Death Wish Blues? Dayton: I flew over from Austin, where I live, to New Orleans. The whole first day, we didn’t write anything. We just talked about music, and then once we started writing, it just started pouring out. It’s a mutual admiration society. We both love what each other does, and we both feel grateful to have the opportunity to take the chance. Most people let fear scare them into staying in this nice little warm place where they make music, and they’re worried about their fans turning on them. A million things could have gone wrong in Woodstock with Jon. I mean, neither one of us had ever met him until we walked into the studio. We made this old school. We did it in 10 days, live to tape. What is the difference between the process of writing songs together in the studio and performing them live? Fish: Once you get the element of the audience—people watching you do it—there’s most certainly a difference between studio and live performance. In the studio, everything was so fresh, and there were a lot of us asking each other, “Is this okay? Is that okay?” Live, once we realize our places and our parts, where we fit in, and ask, “How can I complement this other person?”—It just becomes second nature because both Jesse and I are live acts. We make a lot of records, but we’re not in the studio all the time. We’re out on the road, so I think the stage is where we both
feel really comfortable. The thing that’s similar is there’s this base of respect and just trying to figure out the way to support the song and support each other and take on these different roles. Normally, when it’s a solo show, I’m the lead guitar player and the lead singer, and with Jesse, there are moments in the show where I’m the rhythm guitar player. I’m singing backup. I’m offering support. You just have to figure out what your role is for the song and execute it. You’ve got a really big 2024 coming up. Dayton: I mean, we got nominated for a Grammy, which we can’t freaking believe. We both are like, “Somebody’s playing a joke on us.” But it’s for real. Fish: We were on the Big Easy Cruise in the middle of the ocean. I got a text from my manager and my lawyer, and it said, “Congrats.” I was sitting at breakfast, so I didn’t know right away what that meant, but then, we went and looked on Facebook, and there it was. Dayton: Our manager called and said, “Hey, so you’re gonna be on this other cruise called the Outlaw Country Cruise, but we’re gonna fly you from the Grammys to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and then you’re gonna take the helicopter out to the boat.” I was like, “Okay, this shit’s for real, man.” Fish: It’s a pretty cool scene. It’s a spectacle. It’s different going to it. I mean, I’ve watched on television over the years, but to go and see the production and how they’re putting these sets together in real-time for live television—the nerd in me is like, “Wow, this is really cool.”
FILM
Present Tense
RANDY BACON FREEZE-FRAMES OUR CITY’S DIVERSITY AS MUSEUM MODERNITY By Abby Olcese When you visit the Kansas City Museum, housed in a beautiful, recently-renovated former beaux-arts mansion on Gladstone Boulevard that once belonged to a lumber baron, you might expect to see a lot of history. You’re probably thinking of stories featuring well-known Kansas City characters like Tom Pendergast, neighborhoods like 18th and Vine, or businesses like J. Rieger & Co., the modern iteration of which sits right across the train tracks from the museum itself. All that to say, when you visit a museum, you’re probably thinking about the past. But the present is what you’ll find if you visit the third floor. That’s the location for an exhibit called “Our City, Our Stories,” which has occupied the space since 2021. This January, the exhibit, made up of photographs and story cards depicting the lives of everyday Kansas Citians from diverse walks of life, got an upgrade, part of a plan to make the exhibit more interactive and invite more people from the community to share their stories. In addition to still portraits from photographer Randy Bacon, the exhibit now includes nine “motion portraits,” short videos by Bacon profiling KC activists, artists, athletes, politicians, and more. Subjects sit in front of Bacon’s camera and tell their stories or follow prompts to help them share their perspectives. The current set of motion portraits (more are planned for the future) make up a section of the exhibit called KC Together. They include KC Current midfielder Desi Scott, Making Movies frontman Enrique Chi, and Jackson County representative Emily Weber. Chiluba Musonda, the museum’s deputy director, says KC Together is a reminder of Kansas City’s diverse appeal: “We have people from all different walks of life and backgrounds who decided to settle here, whether it’s someone on the soccer team who came here from Canada (Scott), or
someone who was born in South Korea and became an elected official here (Weber). These profiles remind us why Kansas City is such a unique city.” For Musonda, who came to Kansas City 20 years ago from Zambia, this is a topic with personal resonance. “We don’t market ourselves as a global town, and some of our city leaders don’t see us as that, but as someone who decided to come here, there is a global pull,” Musonda says. “We have great businesses and museums and cultural richness. In a small way, these stories expose that beauty.” Anna Marie Tutera, executive director at the Kansas City Museum, says the exhibit is also an important illustration of the museum’s mission to keep the city’s past and present in conversation with each other. “We’re not just focused on the past,” Tutera says. “You’re going to come to the Kansas City Museum and have a rich experience in history and the humanities, but you’re also going to hear about issues that are currently impacting our city, people’s hopes and dreams for the future, organizations they’re involved in, new resources that you might not have known of before or ways you can become more involved in your city, your neighborhood, your community. These stories are important to tell because they can serve as a catalyst for personal, individual action.”
PURSUING PROFOUND CONNECTIONS To that end, it’s worth noting that some of the stories on display in KC Together explore beauty and perseverance through experiences of profound injustice. One of the exhibit’s featured subjects is Kevin Strickland, who was exonerated in 2021 after 43 years of wrongful incarceration for a murder he didn’t commit. He’s now working to change Missouri legislation that denies compensation for people like him who have been wrongly convicted and released. Bacon said his experience meeting and speaking with Strickland is representative of everyone he spoke with for this project— an instant connection between himself and his portrait subject. “Obviously, I’ve read so much in the news about him, and I was a little nervous about speaking with him,” Bacon says. “He walks in, and I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh.’ I can just feel his presence and know that he is a good soul. Instantaneously, it’s like, ‘There we go, there’s a bond.’ By the end of it, it was
saying, ‘Kevin, my new friend, thank you.’ Moments like that keep me going.” Seeking and depicting profound connections with strangers is essentially Bacon’s stock in trade. The Springfield-based photographer is the founder of 8 Billion Ones, a project with the stated mission of “Using the art of photography, motion films, and written word to present people’s unique stories in an artful, impacting form so that human transformation occurs exponentially.” His work includes exhibitions on literacy, mental health, homelessness, living with physical disabilities, and more. “When I do this work, I don’t know how it’s going to go. I come in with a clean slate and let the natural flow of that process come forward with the motion work, still work, and the words associated with it,” Bacon says of his projects through 8 Billion Ones. “There’s an organic nature to it. An honest, raw nature to it. It’s hard to walk away without being touched by that.” That process naturally leads to some vulnerable conversations, and Bacon says he hopes that intimacy with his KC Together subjects comes through in the finished product. “I want people to experience that as if ‘Well, gosh, I don’t know this person,’ but they walk away, and in some strange aspect, it’s like they’re connected to them now,” Bacon says. “So many people are going to walk in and know some of the names, like Kevin Strickland or Desi from KC Current. They only know that person through what they’ve seen or read, but they’ll walk away with that conversation knowing things they wouldn’t have learned anywhere else. They can say, ‘I know Desi Scott now.’” Musonda says he’s seen that sense of connection reflected through the ways museum visitors have reacted to the “Our City, Our Stories” exhibit over the course of its evolution. “It’s been amazing to see people’s reactions, particularly to see young people see representations of themselves on display,” he says. “It’s a celebration of all of us in a subtle way, where we get to see ourselves through these selected individuals.”
REFLECTING KC’S PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE In the future, Tutera says the museum plans to continue working with Bacon on motion portraits for KC Together that will rotate to comment on current exhibits in other parts of the building, portraits that can only be
viewed on-site at the museum. Eventually, there will also be an audio component to the exhibit incorporating both contemporary oral histories and interviews from the museum’s archive. The goal is to foster a sense of connection with other Kansas Citians that reaches across divides, be they political, cultural, or historical. “People come to the museum, and while each of our stories is unique, you have a shared, lived experience with someone else,” Tutera says. “That’s really critical, especially now, over the past several years. I think that’s what a city museum can do best.” Bacon says he got to share that connection firsthand, and it’s helped him feel more optimistic about the future. “There’s a universal quality to what we talk about (in the motion portraits) and the issues we face as humanity,” Bacon says. “Humanity, a lot of times, gets a bad rap. What I see from the people I spoke with for this project is that they bring a lot of wisdom and hope not only to Kansas City but in general.” Musonda says he agrees and appreciates the way the portraits break down stereotypes in ways that connect to his own experience and ways that present him with new perspectives. “You might think about what’s going on in the media and the negative perception of immigrants, then you come to our museum and hear stories that have an immigrant piece embedded in their story,” he says. “You encounter an individual who was incarcerated for so many years accused of having committed a crime he was innocent of, and you hear his hope and dreams for the future. You hear from members of the Native American community who have these shared hopes and dreams that bring us all closer. You see these people as people.” Bacon says all of it is a credit to a museum that has a special approach to the way it views the community it serves. “I’ve been so fortunate in my long career to work with a lot of organizations and other museums, and Kansas City, which I consider my second home, has a museum that I can purely say is so uniquely incredible and community-focused,” he says. “We’re doing something as a museum that’s there to connect our community, to show that we’re more alike than different. Through that, we grow a stronger community.” Courtesy photos
THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
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THE PITCH ADVICE KEEP THEM COMING
of their life, with a particular lover, or when the moon and stars Venus aligned that one time. It may be so easy for her that she gushes every time, even multiple times. Or, it may happen once and never ever happen again. There is a wide range in ability and consistency. In theory, 10-50% of women/ AFABs have squirted at least once in their life. “The G Spot hype set us back,” proclaimed Dr. Laurie Mintz in her award-win-
Having said that, if one or both of you can squirt, there are ways to enhance the experience and make it less of a chore. Get a mattress protector. This is a must-have, but also get one that is more sheet-like and doesn’t make crinkling sounds. PVC sheets are very cheap online these days, and you can lay them over your bedding and then roll them up to take to the bathroom. They have a distinct texture and can feel like you’ve got a sticker attached to your back
Photo by Nicole Bissey. Illustrations by Shelby Phelps
Partners should not make it their mission to make each other squirt.
SPLASH OF SCIENCE: AN EXPLANATION OF SQUIRTING Squirting should no longer be a contentious topic, yet denial of its existence persists. Bad lovers mislabel it, stigmatize it, and sometimes fetishize it. I want to share some of the points I use to educate about squirting, also known as female ejaculation, but they are two different functions. Let’s first put the top myth to rest— squirting is real. In 2020, a review of over 40 studies conducted during a 130-year span concluded that squirting is a biological phenomenon. The fluid has a mucusy texture and is released from the Skene’s gland via the urethra upon orgasm. Squirting is often recognized as a higher volume of liquid release than female ejaculation. Squirting and FE are also produced by different glands but can happen simultaneously. Squirting fluid is not pee. Yes, there is a small trace of urea and creatine found in the fluid that is ejaculated. As a reminder, there can be a small amount of both substances found in semen, as well. There is a distinct difference between the smell of
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urine and that of squirting fluid, the latter having little to no odor. It’s also typically clear and does not stain clothes or sheets. Lucile, in her 40s, enjoyed her post-divorce singlehood because she regularly left men mesmerized by her squirting capabilities. She even sent pics of her empty bed with a wet spot to her friends before changing her sheets. She and her friends both laughed about the volume of liquid and lauded her and her lovers. Not all squirters are loud and proud of their capabilities. Some squirters are embarrassed or annoyed by what they perceive as a “mess.” Being a regular squirter can create extra housework. If she didn’t have a set of clean sheets or it was too late to do laundry, Lucile would avoid a lover for the night. She didn’t have it in her to take on the extra work her pussy would create. It is possible for all vaginas to potentially squirt, but not all of them will, and even those that have before may not do so with any sort of regularity, if ever again. Someone can be a squirter during a period
THE PITCH | February 2024 | THEPITCHKC.COM
ning book Becoming Clitorate. After the 1982 publication of the book The G Spot: And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality, which described the blended orgasm (cumming from stimulation of both the g spot and clitoris simultaneously), the media proclaimed everyone was doing it wrong if they weren’t doing it that way. Partners should not make it their mission to make each other squirt. To fixate on this outcome can leave her/them feeling inadequate, or that you only care about making them squirt rather than their overall pleasure, or that they aren’t valued for other sexual acts. Feelings of inadequacy can also arise for the partner trying to make their lover squirt if it doesn’t happen. Neither of you can be fully present and in the moment when you are focused on an outcome, be it squirting or an orgasm. All sexual encounters should be about the journey rather than the destination. Focus on removing forms of pressure from your playtime, even self-induced pressure. If the vulva owner wants to learn to squirt, yes, there are ways to try to unleash the honey from the pot. Sexologists have found that, typically, the g spot needs to be involved somehow, but how exactly will vary from person to person. Some g spots prefer pressure, some need consistency in the stoke, some need tapping, some need friction, and some need hardly anything at all if their arousal is high enough. Certain positions can induce squirting. “Anything with my legs up, knees on shoulders, or me on top,” says Lucile. Fingers and toys can also be used to stimulate the g spot, and simultaneous clitoral stimulation can help—again, that’s the blended orgasm.
when you change positions, and they cannot be machine-washed. Throw blankets by Liberator are velvety soft and hold up for years, plus, they can be used on couches, floors, or vehicles, and they can go in the washing machine. For even more protection, Tom’s of Finland has a soft blanket with an inflatable ring around the edge. That product can be for a wide variety of protection between your bed and fluids. The best advice a partner can get with regard to squirting is to know that most vulva owners can’t make it happen on a whim, if at all. Lucile says, “I have zero control over the amount—lack of or abundance of has nothing to do with your skill.” When, as a coach, I have encountered men who are hyper-fixated on making their lover squirt, I use a movie analogy. If you go to the movies and expect every single film to be the best movie of all time, you will be repeatedly disappointed. Not every movie can be the best, but many of them can be incredible in their own right. You’d enjoy going to the movies way more if you chilled TF out and released your stupidly high expectations. Ditch the expectations, banish the pressure, and revel in the journey of sexual exploration with an open mind. If you make pleasure your main goal, neither of you will be disappointed.
You can find Kristen @OpenTheDoorsKC on Instagram or openthedoorscoaching com. Check out her podcast Keep Them Coming.
From locals to legends, emerging artists to global superstars, discover the sound of Kansas City on 90.9 The Bridge.
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Pawsperity By Beth Lipoff
For the students at Pawsperity, learning to clip dog hair is the key to finding economic stability. The nonprofit teaches pet grooming skills while also providing a net of social services to help people find their way until they can make their new trade a career. It’s no easy stroll to get there, with 644 instructional hours required to graduate, and 40% of those who start don’t make it through the first month. Those who do make it that far seem to do well. Since 2016, and after completing a sixto eight-month training period, 124 students have graduated from the program. Pawsperity boasts a 100?% post-graduation employment rate within 60 days of finishing. Jenn Strickland, director of development and community relations, says most students have a job offer or two before they even finish. “We’re not through once graduation hits because that’s the stage when they are really the most vulnerable—when they’re starting to get off government assistance, they’re in their new career, and we call that part of our program the bridge program,” Strickland says. That phase lasts 18 months. Although you do have to apply to get into the program, there’s no cost to students at any time. One of the extra services Pawsperity provides, in addition to its free classes, is a food pantry where student can not only get a snack while they’re in the building but also bring home food to their families. The organization has help from other non-profits to fill the pantry, including Harvesters and Jewish Family Services. Also on the list of ways Pawsperity helps support its students is assistance with housing, transportation, and daycare. Strickland says that although anyone meeting income guidelines can apply for the program, they do have a special focus on helping single parents. This assistance might come from Pawsperity connecting a person with another nonprofit that provides a needed service, but sometimes it comes directly from them. They run an apartment building that can house up to six students—and their families. “That stabilization phase is huge because if they’re worried about where they’re going to be sleeping tonight, they’re not going to be able to learn in the school,” Strickland says. They have two salon locations: 5805 Troost Ave. in Kansas City and 1650 SE Blue Parkway in Lee’s Summit, and they always need animals to groom for experience. In exchange, clients get a discounted rate for the
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service. With their new Kansas City building, Strickland says they’ll be able to have even more students, as many as 80 in a year by 2025. Christina Johnson went through the program in 2018 and is now an instructor at Pawsperity. “I came into the program at one of the darkest points in my life. I went through a divorce and the loss of a child… and through that, had to launch myself into the workforce after being out of work for 10 years being a stay-at-home mom of a very medically complex child,” she says. With slim prospects after being out of the workforce for so long, she jumped at the chance to develop her skills at Pawsperity for a new career. “It was definitely not an easy program. There is a lot that is required of you. You have to put the work in to do it, but it is an all-encompassing program. There are so many resources for you,” Johnson says. “I don’t think that I would have been as successful if it wasn’t as all-wraparound as it is.” Johnson says that in the years since
then, her life has turned around completely. “Before the program, I had a lot of chaos in my life, and you know, chaos continues to happen because I have children, but they give you tools that I continue to use today that I learned as a student,” she says. Through the program, she says she’s found confidence and good friends. And now, as an instructor, she likes getting to offer that same transformation to others. “I think my favorite part of my job is getting to see the change in the lives that I get to pour into every day. I get to see the little victories turn into big victories, and it makes what I do worth it,” she says. If you want to volunteer with Pawsperity, you have to be 18 years old, but there are lots of different ways to help. They have a speakers bureau to give talks about Pawsperity and other volunteers who do tours at the facility. There’s also the usual paperwork and various seasonal projects throughout the year. Businesses can also schedule a group volunteering session for employees. For more information on applying to the program or volunteering, visit pawsperity.org
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