Bar K wins best dog bar nationwide in USA Today competition
Bar K has officially been crowned the best dog bar in the country by USA Today. After the popular vote closed, the local trailblazers of the canine-friendly bar world got national recognition. “It’s been really exciting to watch this new space, pretty much emerge right before our eyes over the last five or so,” says Co-Founder Leib Dodell. “When we started, there wasn’t much like this in terms of destinations for people and dogs. Now they’re becoming more and more common, which is a great thing.”
grön Edibles’ Christine Apple delights in distributing the ‘high life’ across Missouri
Since beginning her cannabis crossing in 2013, Christine Apple has continued to deliver delightful highs to Missouri cannabis consumers through her company Grön Edibles. While they began in Oregon, they have now expanded to Canada, as well as seven other states—New York, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Nevada, Arizona, Ohio, and of course, Missouri. After paving away in the architecture field, Apple saw an opportunity to combine her love for chocolate and cannabis. What started as a hobby in her kitchen basement has evolved into one of the largest edible companies in all of the nation. Apple and her team over at Grön Edibles continue to roll out new products for the Missouri market, providing new tastes and even better feels for Missouri cannabis consumers.
18
the Flaming Lips ego trip on blissed-out fatalism at uptown Yoshimi anniversary show
The Oklahoma acid rockers blasted through the Uptown for an all-timer evening. During the encore, in a moment of silence, Wayne Coyne even said a thing I’ve never heard him come close to expressing in any other show: “I know that I’m not a good singer. But I really enjoy singing. And I just wanted to thank you all for letting me do that. You’re very nice and I appreciate it.”
The smallness, the simplicity, and joy oozing from one of rock’s greatest Little Guys—I’ll be thinking about that moment for the rest of my life.
Letter from the Editor Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess BY BROCK WILBUR
Runner Against a sprinter
Josh Hawley thinks “masculinity” is under attack, but his Marine Veteran contender for Missouri Senate isn’t playing culture war games BY AUSTIN WOODS
Competition for Greg Razer’s seat in District 7 draws powerful perspectives from stalwart ideologists BY EMILY JACOBS
this Now Worm dip at The Drunken Worm BY SARAH SIPPLE
SIPPLE
en Place
Wine Co keeps fun in the family BY SARAH SIPPLE
Fake Blood, Dish soap, and Wrestlers
After three years in production, Austin Snell and his ragtag crew’s 16mm labor of love unspools in They Call Her Death BY
ABBY OLCESE
20
Blow the Man Down Twisters barely harnesses the gale force wind of ‘90s summer blockbusters and is perplexing antihorny
BY ABBY OLCESE
Addressing what may have turned into more of a problem than a pleasure
Carne Diem delivers meat to mouths of Kansas City carnivores BY JORDAN BARANOWSKI
Etheria Film Festival wishes it didn’t have to exist, but until more opportunities arise for female filmmakers, they’ll carry the torch
22 EVENts
August Events Calendar BY THE PITCH STAFF
24 CANNABIs smoke show
Introducing our new column on all things cannabis and cannabiz BY JOE
ELLETT
25 ADVICE
Keep them Coming
Love and loads: Why not doing your fair share is killing your sex life BY KRISTEN THOMAS
26
KC CAREs setting up shop
Flourish continues to provide families with adequate furniture and living necessities BY BETH LIPOFF
Cover Design by Cassondra Jones Poster by Adam Jeffers
Photo Courtesy Christine Apple
Photo Courtesy Bar K
Photo by Brock Wilbur
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Jackson County Prosecutor election features four divergent views for the future of justice, safety
As signs go up in yards and campaign texts blow up your phone, it is clear that election season has returned yet again. Though the country’s eyes remain on the deja vu-inducing presidential race, major positions are up for grabs locally. The Jackson County Prosecutor is a sneakily powerful gig, essentially representing the entire county in court. Whoever is elected will possess the power to decide who gets prosecuted for what, including abortion, drug charges, and, now, unhoused people’s very existence. With Jean Peters Baker’s departure from the role after eight years, Kansas City finds itself on the horizon of change. Primary elections will be held on August 6, and the Republican party only has one candidate: Tracey Chappell. As for the Democratic side of the election, there are three potential runners: Melesa Johnson, John Gromowsky, and Stephanie Burton. Here’s a guide to where the candidates stand.
Blurred Lines and Egregious Edits: Navigating AI’s blurred reality from deepfakes, cheapfakes, and AI alternations
With election year fully ramping up, let’s be real—Artificial intelligence is taking the internet by storm. As of recently, AI has grown to become more powerful than ever, and in more ways than some may have even thought possible. Deepfakes—a form of media where AI can alter faces, bodies, and the entire image as a whole—have already come out in droves, leaving many left wondering what’s real or not. Now, more than ever, deepfakes and the use of AI as a tool of manipulation is incredibly threatening as cities, states, and the entire country will begin heading to polls to cast their votes. AI can be scary, we know. Here is what to be aware of before marking your ballot.
of new, incomprehensible nonsense… that it is our job to comprehend and deliver to you. That cornerstone axiom of journalism remains stalwart and true: “Shit keeps happening.”
I joke about the doom and gloom because it is the daily muck that we spend too much time trying to decipher, but journalists wouldn’t spend our careers doing so if we didn’t also believe in the unfettered potential of humanity, and the capital-g Good we can achieve when we collectively brush the bullshit aside.
farmer named Virginia Minor decided to force the government’s hand. She went to the courthouse and tried to register to vote, where she was denied by registrar Reese Happersett. Minor’s lawsuit against Happersett quickly rose through the judiciary, finally reaching the Supreme Court. Where it failed.
This marked the end of suffragettes attempting change through legal means, instead putting all their efforts into demonstrations and shifting public opinion.
By Brock Wilbur
Dearest reader,
Welcome to the latest print issue of The Pitch—in which it has somehow become August. Right now it is not only suddenly August, but it is also only August. During pandemic lockdown, I figured that certainly this would be the absolute nadir of my ability to perceive time as linear and gauge its progress. 2024 has thrown that out the window as each day brings with it a tidal wave
While we cover the meta and the micro of politics year-round at The Pitch, we’ve begun devoting more of our columns to tracking everything happening in local elections, as you’ll see a few examples in this magazine—and dozens more when you visit us online. We believe that sweeping change and progress for all starts from the bottom, pushing up and forcing the higher levels of our system to take notice of the freedoms and rights career politicians have forgotten how to protect.
After all, women’s right to vote got one of its most important shoves from right here in Missouri.
In 1872, after nearly ten years of advocating for women’s suffrage, a St. Louis
Missourians losing, only to allow that setback to light a fire leading to a sweeping victory—That feels like a tale we know well, and relive often.
In these pages, you’ll find some excellent adventures happening in the culture of our great metro region, and you’ll find important resources to better inform you of the players, progress, and pitfalls awaiting us all between now and the November ballot. As shit keeps happening, make sure that you control what you can control, for yourself and for all of us.
Pitch in, and we’ll make it through,
RISE AND FALL OF A MIDWEST PRINCESS
Photo Courtesy Candidates’ Campaigns
Art by Cassondra Jones
Running Against A Sprinter
JOSH HAWLEY THINKS “MASCULINITY” IS UNDER ATTACK, BUT HIS MARINE VETERAN CONTENDER FOR MISSOURI SENATE ISN’T PLAYING CULTURE WAR GAMES
By Austin Woods
2024 u.s. senate contender Lucas Kunce is proud to have never held elected office. The attorney and 13-year Marine veteran frequently emphasizes this is not a source of weakness—rather, there’s greater political value for the people of Missouri from a man who hasn’t been bought and sold while climbing the political ladder.
“The one thing that I’m proud to not have done is take money from these corporate PACs, federal lobbyists, and people like that, so that they’ve had a bug in my ear for decades,” he says.
Instead, he stressed that the chief strength of his military and professional background is that he knows how to deliver on a promise.
“I think that being a lieutenant colonel in the Marine Corps is a pretty high office in our federal government,” he says. “I’ve worked with the interagency. I’ve done arms control negotiations overseas. I’ve done procurement at the national level. I know how a lot of these things work, and how to get results within overly complex bureaucracy, where someone else wouldn’t.”
Kunce first ran for U.S. Senate in 2022, coming in second to Trudy Busch Valentine in the primary election with 38.3% of the vote. Though he ran as a Democrat—and is doing so again this time around—Kunce more often refers to himself as a populist, which he defines as someone who wants to “fundamentally change who has power in this country.” With over $2.5 million raised in the first quarter of 2024 and nearly $2.8 million raised in the second quarter, it seems Kunce’s populist message is resonating with Missouri voters.
As he often points out, Kunce’s brand of populism is informed by his upbringing and military experience. He calls his background a “typical mid-Missouri story.” His parents married at 19 and 22 years old, and raised their four children in a Catholic household in a working-class neighborhood of Jefferson City.
”When you follow the rules like they did, it’s kid, kid, kid, kid, and a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle,” Kunce says of his Catholic upbringing. However, his parents were forced to stop at four children when his youngest sister was born with a heart condition that required three open-heart surgeries and eventually left them bankrupt.
Throughout this period, the family received extensive support from neighbors, one of the most helpful being a Marine who
often brought Kunce to the local Marine Corps League. There, he met veterans of the Vietnam War who remained committed to helping their communities despite their hardships and feelings of betrayal by their country. This inspired Kunce to join the Marine Corps in 2007, three years after graduating from Yale, where he attended on a Pell Grant.
Kunce was later deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. He shares one story about his time in the latter country that was particularly formative. While he was stationed at Camp Leatherneck in Helmand Province, a group of defense contractors were building a metal building nearby, much to the chagrin of the Marine General and Afghanistan’s government. Both felt the building would be unnecessary and a potential magnet for terrorists. Kunce says the structure was built anyway, only for it to go to waste.
“The general and the government were both wrong because the Taliban didn’t even care about it,” he says. “It ended up being shredded by metal scrappers who took it over. That’s millions of dollars in a corrupt system that goes to nothing.”
Kunce remains calm and levelheaded when discussing these experiences, eschewing the anger and resentment that’s typically associated with populism. Still, he’s more than willing to call people out where he sees fit, and he’s especially willing to do so when it comes to his Republican competitor, Senator Josh Hawley.
In the past, Kunce has called Hawley a “fake populist,” pointing to the Republican senator’s past support of right-to-work laws, and his ‘no’ vote on a bill to establish a national right to in vitro fertilization last month. Though Hawley says his stance on right-to-work has changed and calls himself “pro-IVF” despite his vote on the bill, Kunce remains skeptical.
He has also criticized Hawley’s introduction of a 2023 bill to ban lawmakers from trading stocks. Kunce is all for a congressional stock trading ban, but, to him, Hawley’s initial proposal did not go far enough, as it still allowed members of Congress to place their holdings in a blind trust for the remainder of their time in office.
Hawley and a bipartisan group of Senators recently unveiled a new proposal directing lawmakers to divest from individual assets by 2027 and put them into mutual funds instead. Under the recent Senate proposal, a failure to divest would lead to fines of either
the value of the lawmaker’s monthly salary or 10% of the value of each of their assets that violates the law.
According to the current law, lawmakers are fined $200 for not reporting trades over $1,000 within the deadline period of 45 days. While the new proposal expands penalties and removes the blind trust loophole, Kunce does not think it goes far enough.
“He saw what we said about it, and was like, ‘Oh, they got me,’ and he’s trying to do another thing,” Kunce says. “But when you look at the penalties on that, it’s basically nothing…(Congressional stock trading) should just be criminal. You, me, or Martha Stewart—if we go to jail, these guys should go to jail too.”
While recent polls indicate a lead by Hawley, Kunce remains confident he can win if nominated, pointing to his campaign’s out-fundraising of Hawley’s in 2023, and the millions of dollars he’s raised throughout 2024. Kunce says his opponent espouses an “agenda of control,” which he argues is at odds with what the majority of Missourians want.
“The last thing Missourians want—from the dude in mid-Missouri who likes to smoke weed on his back porch in the evenings, to a woman who wants reproductive care—is to be told what to do by politicians and to be controlled by them,” Kunce says.
Photos Courtesy Lucas Kunce
District Scrutiny
PERSPECTIVES FROM STALWART IDEOLOGISTS
By Emily Jacobs
sen. greg Razer leaves big shoes to fill in his District 7 seat after he was appointed to the tax Commission by Missouri gov. Mike Parson last April—rendering his senate seat vacant and opening the floodgates for MO’s most diverse political population to find new representation AsAP.
During his four years as a state representative and four years as a state senator, Razer distinguished himself as a fierce advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and one of the few openly gay members of the General Assembly. He was at the forefront of the effort to pass legislation that would outlaw discrimination against people because of their sexual orientation or gender identity from landlords, employers, and others. Razer was also at the helm of a multi-day filibuster against the bill that banned gender-affirming care for minors. While the bill was ultimately passed, he was able to get a sunset amendment into the bill, meaning that it will expire in four years.
Three candidates have filed for Razer’s vacated seat. Patty Lewis—who is the current Missouri State Representative of District 25—and Pat Contreras are vying for the Democratic nomination. Joey LaSalle— the lone Republican—initially filed to run against Razer in February.
The Pitch spoke with all three candidates to unearth which issues are important to them, how their past experiences qualify them for office, and what they hope to accomplish if elected.
Patty Lewis
Patty Lewis is a registered nurse—the only one in the legislature—and a former healthcare executive who won the MO District 25 State Rep. seat in 2020. She announced her candidacy for Senate in May.
“I don’t consider myself a career politician, but an advocate, and I want to fight for a better Missouri, especially around healthcare issues and marginalized communities like our LGBTQ communities,” she says. “I’m the only candidate endorsed by PROMO—the statewide LGBTQ organization— because of my advocacy and defending LGBTQ folks.”
True to her background in healthcare, Lewis has sponsored and passed several measures to increase access to healthcare during her time as state rep. Among these are a bill to increase physician residency slots and bills to remove some burdens on nurse practitioners. She was a part of passing a mental health parity law that Razer also worked on during her first year in the General Assembly.
In the most recent legislative session, Lewis sponsored a women’s healthcare bill that would have allowed women on private insurance to pick up an annual supply of birth control from pharmacies. Despite bipartisan support, the bill didn’t make it over the finish line before the end of the session. Lewis also sponsored a sales tax exemption on diapers and feminine hygiene products, another bill that has had bipartisan support and passed in the House. She hopes to pick up where she left off and get these bills passed into law, in addition to a bill protecting telehealth services that also did not pass.
Getting legislation passed as a Democrat in Missouri is often an uphill battle. Lewis refers to being in the super minority as an “everyday crisis.”
“I look at it as, sometimes in my bedside nursing days, when you have a non-compliant patient, you just have to get down to their level and meet them where they are,” she says of working with lawmakers with differing agendas. “There’s a lot of opportunity for education.”
One of Lewis’ priorities is supporting reproductive rights. Previously, she sponsored a bill that extended postpartum coverage from six months to one year, and she hopes that the amendment to enshrine the right to abortion in the Missouri Constitution passes in November. She is sponsored by Planned Parenthood Great Plains, Abortion Action Missouri, Access MO, and the Greater Kansas City Women’s Political Caucus.
“These personal, private healthcare decisions should be up to the individual and their healthcare provider, not the legislator,” Lewis says.
That same sentiment applies to the aforementioned ban on gender-affirming
care for minors.
“When the ban on transgender care is set to expire, I plan on holding before in the Senate when they try to renew that expiration,” Lewis says. “Not gonna happen, not on my watch.”
Lewis has also been a defender of workers’ rights. She spoke at a rally for a Waldo Taco Bell strike in 2022 and is a proponent of raising the state minimum wage and increasing sick pay. Lewis has been endorsed by several labor unions, including Greater Kansas City AFL-CIO and IAFF Local 42—which represents firefighters, paramedics, EMTs, and others.
“Hopefully, someday, we can get on offense,” she says. “But most of the time, it just seems to be defense, and protecting, ensuring that we don’t become a right-to-work state, ensuring safe workplaces.”
Lewis wants to see Kansas City as a whole become safer, and she believes that stricter gun laws will bolster that goal. She supports red flag laws, which she’s spon-
“Missouri has loose gun laws and innocent people are losing their lives. As an ICU nurse, I’ve served many of the victims.” –Patty Lewis “With this amount of dysfunction and political bickering, we need more diplomacy to get things done.” –Pat Contreras
“I feel like the good people that have guns, they are educated on it, clean it, go to classes, and learn about it.”
–Joey LaSalle
sored in the past, and sponsored Missouri’s iteration of “Donna’s Law.” “Donna’s Law” allows people to add their names to a list, where they wouldn’t be allowed to purchase a gun. The idea is to prevent susceptible individuals from potentially harming themselves in the future.
“I do support the Second Amendment,” Lewis says. “It’s not about taking guns away. It’s just about common sense gun laws. Here in the state of Missouri, we have the loosest gun laws and innocent people are losing their lives. I worked in the ICU at a trauma center here in Kansas City and served many victims of gun violence. We couldn’t save them all. So, gun violence prevention is an issue that’s personal and near and dear to my heart.”
She says that investing in social services will help combat crime. Those she listed included schools, afterschool programs, mental health resources, public transportation, and aid for the homeless.
“We need to give our first responders
COMPETITION FOR GREG RAZER’S SEAT IN DISTRICT 7 DRAWS POWERFUL
Photos Courtesy Candidates’ Campaigns
the tools they need to be successful and to help keep our community safe,” she says.
Lewis states that crime reduction would also boost the local economy, and she adds that creating more inclusive communities in Missouri would have that same effect.
“People leave, because of the extreme, and the ban—the hatred attacks on our LGBTQ community,” Lewis says.
Pat Contreras
Pat Contreras was born in Kansas City and grew up in the Westside neighborhood. He studied business as an undergrad and obtained a Master of Public Administration at Columbia University after working at the Federal Reserve Bank in Kansas City. He was commissioned as a Foreign Service Officer and served two tours in Pakistan before returning home to Kansas City near the end of the Obama administration. Upon his return to Missouri, he ran for State Treasurer in 2016. Though he lost, he received national attention for being the first Latino to run for statewide office.
Since then, Contreras has worked as an executive at McCownGordon Construction in Kansas City. This work has involved building schools, hospitals, community centers, and more, helping create jobs for thousands of Kansas Citians. One of these projects included a workforce training center at 29th and Troost.
“There are about 236,000 skilled trade jobs in Kansas City, and about 40% of those have to be replaced over the next five years,” Contreras says. “We need to be ready for the future and have a skilled workforce to continue to build and do the things that we need, whether it’s infrastructure, transit, heavy construction, or just the renovation of schools and buildings.”
He has also served as Commissioner of the Kansas City Parks and Recreation Board, member of the Executive Committee of the Downtown Council, board member of University Health, and as Chairman of the Kansas City, MO Committee of the Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce.
Contreras has received support from U.S. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, Mayor Quinton Lucas, and current county prosecutor Jean Peters Baker, among other area and state politicians. He’s also been publicly endorsed by Razer himself.
Contreras hopes to continue Razer’s legacy of fighting for LGBTQ+ rights by attempting to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the Missouri Nondiscrimination Act, just as Razer did. He’d like to work with PROMO to keep up with and kill any anti-LGBTQ+ legislation.
Another major priority of Contreras is lowering the cost of living. He plans to execute this by limiting the cost of healthcare, raising the state minimum wage, expanding programs that assist families with childcare costs, and expanding housing options for
KC residents. Contreras suggests a more progressive tax system that can help lower the tax burden on lower-income residents. He acknowledges that it’s a complex issue, but believes he is up to the task of enacting real change.
“I understand the fiscal impacts on the state budget as it relates to overall taxes, financial health, and on people,” he says. “And I also know that taxes are a tough issue and it requires working across party lines, and that’s what I bring as a trained U.S. diplomat and someone who is used to working across aisles to get things done.”
Gun violence is also a personal issue to Contreras, and he wants to work on legislation prohibiting minors from open-carrying in public, implementing background checks, and closing the domestic violence loophole.
“I had a friend of mine who was killed by a drive-by shooter,” he says. “I’ve had family members and others that have experienced it directly. And to me, gun violence is personal, because I’ve experienced it. I know the tragedy that leaves on, not only the victims, but the surrounding community.”
He says that another way to combat crime in Kansas City is to obtain local control over our police department. Currently, Kansas City is the only major city in the country whose police department is controlled by the state.
“Now, more than ever, with this amount of dysfunction and political bickering, and with some of the least amount of bills ever passed in the history of our legislature, we need more diplomacy to get things done,” Contreras says.
Joey LaSalle
Joey LaSalle is a part-owner of a small healthcare IT company in Kansas City. He grew up in Excelsior Springs and attended The University of Missouri—graduating magna cum laude with a degree in corporate finance and real estate. Subsequently, he spent two decades in the healthcare industry at Cerner in Healthcare and Hospital Revenue Operations Leadership and Strategy—essentially, the business side of the healthcare industry.
“I’m just an ordinary, everyday guy,” LaSalle says. “I get up, I work hard, I mow my lawn, go to the grocery—and I don’t feel like I am represented well. I want to represent us, and I feel like I can be that guy.”
Seeing the rising levels of crime in Kansas City was another aspect that prompted LaSalle to run for Senate. “I always got off the plane here in Kansas City, and it was home,” he says. “It was home sweet home. And in the last five years or so, it kind of felt like home is a little scarier.” However, he doesn’t feel that guns are the main problem contributing to crime in Kansas City.
“I think that for every bad person that has a gun, there is a good person that has a
gun,” LaSalle says. “And I feel like the good people that have guns, they are educated on it, clean it, go to classes, and learn about it. I think that guns are, to be honest, a last line of defense for the individual as well. Could we look at, ‘How do we do better?’ Yes, but I think that, currently, they’re okay.”
Instead, LaSalle believes that stronger policing and penalties for crimes would discourage people from committing more crimes. He also suggests a more economic solution to the crime issue: the creation of jobs.
“I think that jobs and the lack thereof are the root cause of crime,” he says. “Whenever you have a job, it’s pride, and you’re not living off of the government. You are working every day. You get up, you put your pants on, and you go to work, and there’s pride in the work that you do.”
LaSalle says that revenue from online sports betting could be a solution to compensate for tax cuts.
“I know that we have proposed online sports gambling in the past, and that is something I would like to reinvigorate,” he says, referring to past attempts to legalize sports betting in Missouri.
When it comes to reproductive rights, LaSalle says that he personally only believes in medically necessary abortions and abortions in the case of rape and incest. But he also recognizes that clinicians know better than him.
“I am not able to have children, so for me, pro-life is kind of a thing,” he says. “But I also understand I shouldn’t be the decision-maker for everyone, and nor should the state.”
LaSalle goes on to list a couple of stipulations—one of these being that late-term abortion should only be legal in the case of medical necessity. Another is that abortions should be self-funded rather than funded by the state.
As for LGBTQ+ rights, LaSalle expresses his support for the community, though his thoughts on the ban on gender-affirming care for minors are unclear. Last month, he shared a photo of himself at the Kansas City Pride Parade on Instagram.
“I believe in fairness, equal protection under the law, no matter what,” he says. “I don’t want anybody to not live their bliss. So I want everyone to have equal rights.”
LaSalle doesn’t name any endorsements, and none are cited on his website.
“When it comes to these political action committees, I haven’t taken any endorsements from them,” he says. “It’s not because I don’t want to answer their questionnaires, but they always want you to sign up for something and support them, or support them the right way, or support them their way. It’s like putting a bumper sticker on your race car. Eventually, it starts to put them on your windshield, and you can’t see the decision that Joey LaSalle wants to make because I’ve taken an endorsement or some money from someone else.”
SUPPORT LOCAL JOURNALISM
Savory sustenance
By Jordan Baranowski
When it comes to high-quality meat, Kansas City is for connoisseurs. For the husband-and-wife team of Louis Guerrieri and Sarah Nelson, that discerning taste is a big factor in their latest endeavor: Carne Diem Fine Meats & Pantry. Located in Briarcliff and just a few doors down from their restaurant, Ombra, Carne Diem is focused on sustainable practices, local delicacies, and damn good cuts of meat.
For Nelson, Carne Diem is also a bit of a homecoming. “I grew up in Kearney, Missouri,” she says. “We were surrounded by farms, and, at an early age, I started appreciating the little details I saw from our neighbors. Years later, Louis and I started noticing that many places around town weren’t taking advantage of the great meat and produce that’s locally sourced, and we wanted to strive to help fill that gap.”
In fact, Nelson grew up across the street from one of the farmers that she now sources from. With Carne Diem, Nelson and Guerrieri hope to be able to bring sustainable,
At Carne Diem, he really wants to focus the butcher counter on true nose-to-tail work.
Guerrieri and Nelson are a collaborative force with decades of restaurant experience under their belts, and they’re both passionate about showcasing the best of local farms.
high-quality meats, cheeses, and other groceries to Kansas City. As often as they can, they look to local products, but the focus is on upscale options for at-home cooks. If that means expanding their boundaries, they’re prepared to meet that demand.
“Carne Diem is an upscale meat market,” Nelson says. “But that isn’t everything— It’s a full, nose-to-tail butcher counter, it’s seafood from certified, sustainable sources, it’s premium cheeses, pasta, and deli options. We want it to be a place where you come in looking for a specific item, and leave with plenty of extras.”
Though Carne Diem doesn’t have seating or restaurant service, they do carry a selection of grab-and-go sandwiches, salads, soups, and more. The focus is on quick lunch items, so any customer who comes in hungry won’t have to stay that way for long.
The butchery side of things at Carne Diem is mainly Guerrieri’s realm. He started honing his craft in the sushi world before moving into butchery and charcuterie.
“Most of our meat and poultry—beef, pork, goat, chicken, duck, and turkey— comes from Barham Family Farms in Kearney,” Nelson says. “A big selection of cheese and our lamb comes from Green Dirt Farm. We get our flour for pasta, baked goods from Marion Milling, mushrooms from MyCo Planet, tortillas from Yoli Tortilleria, and freshly made bread from Ibis Bakery. We’re really proud of the items we’ve sourced from so close to Kansas City, and we’re excited to show off some of the things we’ve needed to bring in from further away, like seafood.”
On top of all these delicious takeaway items, Nelson and Guerrieri plan to use the space at Carne Diem for other new endeavors—Butchery lessons, cooking classes, and other educational events are in the works, and the space will lend itself well to both inhouse event hosting or full-service catering.
With a hyper-focus on local, sustainable proteins and the highly-trained skills of its ownership team, Carne Diem Fine Meats & Pantry seems like it will quickly become a favorite for cooks who want to work with the
best available products. What are you waiting for? It’s time to meat your new neighbors.
Carne Diem Fine Meats & Pantry is located at 4179 N Mulberry Dr, Kansas City, MO 64116 in The Village at Briarcliff.
CARNE DIEM DELIVERS MEAT TO MOUTHS OF KANSAS CITY CARNIVORES
Photos Courtesy Carne Diem
Worm dip at The Drunken Worm
By Sarah Sipple
The Drunken
1405 W 39th St. Kansas City, MO 64111
D
Worm dip ($10) at The Drunken Worm just might be the worst dish to feature when it comes to food photography. I’m not sure that a true professional photographer could make it look any more appealing. Then there’s the issue of the name… Therefore, I ask you to trust me.
According to manager Courtney Yager, worm dip is a best seller on the appetizer menu. Upon reopening this summer, this creamy dip, nachos, and deep-fried beef tacos were all items that Yager and her team—including Chef Josue Mendoza—knew they had to bring back from the glory days of The Drunken Worm’s past.
The appetizer’s ingredients are simple—a thin jalapeno cream cheese blend, black beans, Monterey cheese, and a drizzle of chipotle raspberry puree. When scooped with tortilla chips, the melty dip is hot, sweet, and salty, while also bringing a hint of heat from the peppers.
I first had this type of dip in the late aughts at a Manhattan, KS joint—So Long Saloon. I was instantly hooked and recreated it a couple of times each year for parties. However, at my next Drunken Worm visit, I’ll order it like Yager: add chorizo or chicken and eat it with tortillas. Before I knew that insider tip, I paired the dip with a worm paloma ($13) and a drunken chimi ($15) for a filling dinner.
Worm dip has it all: it is creamy, warm, cheesy, sweet, and when you factor in the chips, crunchy. Once you get past the fact that it looks like grits (at best), you’ll see why this unique dip was a must for the reopening of The Drunken Worm.
DRINK THIS NOW: Plift
By Sarah Sipple
Available at KS and MO liquor stores and some area restaurants.
todd Harris—a Prairie Village resident and Co-founder and CEO of Plift—is an alcoholic.
That is a primary reason why he helped start Plift. “I come from a family where alcohol was uber present, so our mission is to provide ANY person with an affordable, social alternative to alcohol,” Harris says.
Plift is a lightly sweet, hemp-infused, canned beverage. These bevvies are available with either four or 10mg of Delta-9 THC. This keeps the product in compliance with 2018’s Farm Bill, declaring the beverage federally legal. Yep–it’s available in Kansas.
Straight from a chilled can, the tart lime variety gives more of a sweet lime flavor. It’s light enough to be refreshing and sweetened without being syrupy. If there are any tasting notes of hemp, I cannot detect them.
For a dressed-up version, I like to pour it over ice and add fresh lime, maraschino cherries, and a few dribbles of cherry juice. The juicy grapefruit flavor is slightly more tart and is fun to serve with orange bitters over ice.
Most people feel the slight but uplifting hemp effects within 15-30 minutes. One can is enough for me to feel a lovely grounded, yet light and buzzy effect, but I have a generally low threshold for all things cannabis-related.
“The name Plift is intentionally one letter short of the word ‘uplift’ because all that’s missing is u,” Harris cheerily says as his background in marketing shines through.
Plift and similar hemp beverages are readily available at area liquor stores and some restaurants like Westside Local and Old Shawnee Pizza, but this prepackaged concept is still relatively new.
“We are meeting consumers where they are on their journey with cannabis,” Harris says. “Our Plift (4mg) is for the cannacurious while our Plift+ (10mg) is for cannapros. Give us a try, go slow, you can always drink more!”
Worm
MISE EN PLACE
By Sarah Sipple
From starting as KC Pumpkin Patch in Gardner to moving to Olathe, then expanding with KC Wine Co, the Berggren family has created a destination for all ages, in all seasons. The rural oasis is known for wine slushies, outdoor events, and, of course, Kansas wine.
Siblings Taylor Roesch and Eli Berggren are second-generation vintners, pumpkin farmers, and experienced curators. Taking over KC Wine Co from their parents was a no-brainer, even after exploring careers in pharmacy and construction, respectively.
What led to the transition from pumpkin patch to vineyard?
Eli Berggren: When we originally moved here, because we were a pumpkin patch, we wanted to actually mow over the grapes to grow more pumpkins. And then Taylor was like, let’s give it a shot.
Taylor Roesch: Yeah, originally we thought that the pumpkin patch would still be the main beast. When we started the winery, there were wineries around, but I didn’t know that it was super popular to visit or to try Kansas wines. So we didn’t anticipate how popular the winery would be. We do serve all our winery products over at the Pumpkin Patch as well, so people with kids can enjoy that too. And we’ve morphed into a lot of adult-only events, like Oktoberfest and Ciderfest. That’ll be three whole weekends for only ages 21 plus.
What would you count as the most valuable aspects of your parents’ legacy that you want to maintain?
Mise En Place is a series of questions, answers, recommendations, and culinary wisdom from the food and drink masters that push KC flavor further. The following answers have been edited for length and clarity.
ple on. So the overall beauty that’s out here, and the peacefulness.
What kind of team does it take to keep this place running, the wine flowing, and the pumpkins growing?
Roesch: I think one of the things we’re most known for is our people, staff, and environment. If you see my dad, he’s the first one to offer to clean the bathrooms, take out the trash, or do the yucky jobs. He leads by example. And I would say my folks are very well-respected by our staff and by our patrons, so one of my goals is to continue that. We’ve never had a staff turnover in 10 years. We have these same people, and we just keep adding, and I think that tells a lot. So that’s one of my main focuses—always be kind, provide a good experience, and just have a good time while we’re doing it, too.
What surprises people most about KC Wine Co?
Berggren: One thing that catches people off guard, if it’s their first time out, is the beauty down by the pond. We have four massive chairs down there that you can fit five peo-
Roesch: I think that’s another thing that would surprise people—We only have four full-time staff, year-round, Monday through Friday, us two included. For operations, harvesting grapes and pumpkins, everything. And then as far as weekend staff or seasonal staff, we have up to 60 on our payroll.
What’s your favorite drink here?
Berggren: Pineapple cider. That’s my yearround favorite. I think it’s so refreshing, and it really surprises people when you say pineapple cider, but I think it’s the best thing we make. I’m also biased because I’m the one that makes it.
Roesch: I always flip-flop between two—You can’t go wrong with a wine slush. Then, we just released an orange Moscato that is amazing. They’re both pretty awesome.
KC Wine Co keeps fun in the family
KC WINE CO 13875 S Gardner Rd #1 Olathe, KS 66061
Photos by Sarah Sipple
Record Management
ADDRESSING WHAT MAY HAVE TURNED INTO MORE OF A PROBLEM THAN A PLEASURE
By Nick Spacek
this paragraph is going to sound like I’m bragging, but I assure you, I’m not. According to my Discogs account, I have something just shy of 1,600 records. This includes LPs, box sets, 7-inch and 45 rpm releases, and a smattering of 10-inch EPs. It does not include records I’ve been too lazy to discover which version I have out of something like 45 different variants, nor does it include a few pre-release copies for review.
Okay, that last sentence was kind of a brag.
These records are ostensibly stored on three sets of industrial shelving, measuring six feet high, three feet wide, and one foot deep. Each unit has four shelves. That is 36 linear feet of storage space and when I write it out like that, it’s not as much room as they seem to take up in this spare bedroom I’ve converted into an office.
Sometime around last fall, I went through a bout of early seasonal depression where I decided that my record collection needed to go. Getting rid of all these LPs would score me some extra cash, the room wouldn’t feel so crammed, and I could stop wondering if the floor joists could support all that weight.
After a lengthy discussion with both the owner of the local record store and my spouse, I decided that wasn’t a great idea and actually dove back into buying records again. I made some great finds at a downtown music shop that has a few bins, participated in both the Black Friday and regular versions of Record Store Day, and have definitely given in to several online label sales to snag a few things I might not otherwise have taken a chance on.
All that is to say that when people talk
about physical media and the joys therein, rarely is there a discussion of the looming nature of owning it. I’m aware this is very much a first world problem, complaining about the spoils of a capitalist society, but for all of the advantages espoused by folks such as myself, there’s a definite disadvantage to being a tactile enthusiast in an age of digital ephemera.
My journey was pretty simple: I found an old-school suitcase-style record player with a built-in speaker buried on a back shelf of the bakery where I worked at the time. It doesn’t make any sense to me as to why it was there, either, but that’s what happened. I’d collected records here and there in the past, mostly buying 7-inches from punk and ska bands I liked, but they were mostly just collectibles. And without a way to play them, I’d sold them for beer and/or cigarette money. Recalling a handful of titles 25 years later, I could likely pay off my car loan with them today.
So, I get this record player, and then immediately hit up Love Garden. At the time, they were in their original upstairs location, and had what was called the shotgun room. Records in rough shape with scuffed surfaces, torn jackets, and were beat up, but playable and, most importantly, most of them were a dollar. The nicer ones, a buck or two more—the perfect place to start a very basic record collection for my very basic record player.
Then it started growing. Yard sales, thrift stores, various family members clearing out their basements, and the occasional album reviews grew it slowly, but surely. When we moved into our house, the records could fit into two mail crates. A year later, I moved my computer desk from the laundry room into our basement and that’s when things started
It started growing. Yard sales, thrift stores, various family members clearing out their basements, and the occasional album reviews grew it slowly, but surely.
taking on a whole new aspect. I had space, some disposable income from freelance work, and invested in my first shelf. A few years later, a second shelf. Singles had their own home on a repurposed bookshelf and grew to more than 300, thanks to a weekly punk and garage rock radio show allowing me a place to spin them for more than my own entertainment.
Just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed. How in the ever-loving hell did I go from a cheap alternative to buying CDs or downloading stuff to having more records than a booth at an antique mall? Time changes everything and, at times, it’s made me feel like this library of sounds is an albatross around my neck, if I might mangle a metaphor. The constant need for new styli, record sleeves, and keeping all the new stuff from just piling up on the floor feels as though I’ve taken on a part-time job as an archivist.
So what the hell do you do with a looming problem? Like, that’s not even an exaggeration. Every single Zoom call I’ve done the past four and a half years has had these shelves in the background as if I were hidden in the corner of a radio station. Yes, it did mean that at one point, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School director Allan Arkush turned his camera around to show me his own massive collection, so that’s a plus. But while I like music, being a “record guy” in my mid-40s feels like I’m a walking stereotype, especially with these shelves behind me.
What you do with this problem is simple, I’ve decided. As much as it pains me, I cull. I go through the stacks, pull out records, and figure out if I’ve played them in the last year. If I don’t feel like listening to it within a week or two, it gets tossed, metaphorically.
Records Played During This Venting Process
• YGT, Sinking Ship
The Temptations, Cloud Nine
• Ben Folds, Best Imitation of Myself: A Retrospective Namelessnumberheadman, Wires Reply
• Various Artists,
In actuality, it gets sold. I’m taking an active role in making sure these records are something that bring me happiness. Some of the greatest albums of all time are at my disposal anytime I want to spin them, with big, glorious jackets to stare at and liner notes to peruse.
I could spin records every second I’m home and awake and maybe make it through everything in a year. How cool is that? I’ve begun taking a more active role in having these records, rather than buying them, playing them, shelving them, and moving on to the next new thing. If I’m sitting here, tapping out my dumb words on the keyboard, something’s spinning four feet to my right. It’s a gradual process, but it’s helped get me in a more mindful state.
Having to get up every 20 minutes or so to flip the record over keeps me from sitting here for three hours at a go, and digging for an album to spin I haven’t heard in a while keeps my ears fresh. An obscure Texas blues guitar album from 1973? Yes, please. A live compilation of new wave bands? Of course. A box set of novelty music? Obviously. It’s been a month. Let’s get digging.
Remolino de Oro: Coatal Cumbias from Colombia’s Discos Fuentes 1961-1973
Photo by Nick Spacek
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Scream Queens & Darker Things
FILM
FESTIVAL WISHES IT DIDN’T HAVE TO EXIST, BUT UNTIL
MORE OPPORTUNITIES ARISE FOR FEMALE FILMMAKERS, THEY’LL CARRY THE TORCH • By
“Our goal is to be obsolete,” stacy Hammon told the group of assembled filmmakers at Wolfepack BBQ on Friday night.
That’s not typically the kind of statement you expect to hear from a film festival organizer, but Hammon means it. She’s the Director and Co-Founder—alongside Director of Programming Heidi Honeycutt—of Etheria Film Festival—a one-night showcase of horror, science fiction, fantasy, action, thriller, and dark comedy short films from emerging female directors.
Hammon has gathered a number of the featured filmmakers together ahead of the festival’s Saturday night showcase at Screenland Armour Theatre for a chance to get to know each other in the most Kansas City way possible: chowing down on some barbeque.
“I want to get to a place where we don’t need this festival anymore,” Hammon says. “A place where women can not only succeed, but are allowed to fail at the same rate as men.”
That’s probably not going to happen any time soon, according to the data. The most recent report from USC’s Annenberg Inclusion Initiative—a think tank that examines representation in front of and behind the camera—shows that last year, only 12 of the 100 top-grossing films in 2023 were directed by women. That number is up a whopping three from 2022, but down from 2020’s all-time high of 15.
According to the Initiative, the ratio of men to women directors on top-grossing films over the last 17 years was nearly 10 to one. Barbie may have broken the box office record for female-directed movies, but that
Abby Olcese
wasn’t enough to keep Greta Gerwig from being overlooked for best director by the Academy Awards for that year.
Of course, that story is also a familiar one for filmmakers who work in genre spaces.
“I was sold a crock of shit in film school, this ‘unicorn’ tale that women don’t make genre movies because they’re not into it,” filmmaker and cinematographer Elle Schneider says. “The reason there aren’t a ton of women in genre filmmaking
get jobs down the line.
Additionally, the shorts are available to stream on Shudder until August 15, where viewers can vote for an audience award. A number of featured shorts have since gone on to become successful features, including Prano Bailey-Bond’s Censor and Jill Gevargizian’s The Stylist
Gevargizian’s hair scare thriller is also an example of the enduring community atmosphere Etheria cultivates among its par-
“I want to get to a place where we don’t need this festival anymore. A place where women can not only succeed, but are allowed to fail at the same rate as men.”
is because they’re not trusted to do it. The pipeline for women filmmakers has been traditional dramas and Sundance-style films. You don’t get James Gunns and David Lynches that way.”
This, as I hear from everyone over the weekend—filmmakers, organizers, and supporters alike—is Etheria’s primary reason for being. Formerly housed in L.A. before making the move to KC’s Screenland, the festival’s shorts are judged by an impressive jury of filmmakers and producers—this year’s crew included Hocus Pocus Director Mick Garris and powerhouse producer Gale Anne Hurd. These are the people in a position to potentially help smaller filmmakers
to meet her sales quota, she’s hit with an escalating series of absurd supernatural consequences. It features the kind of strange and hyper-specific comedy writing that makes for instantly memorable dialogue and endlessly surprising visual payoffs.
The movie features horror icon Barbara Crampton in a memorable cameo as the company’s founder. “I’d worked with Barbara as an actor before,” Grant says. “I called her and said, ‘I need you for half a day,’ and I gave her a teleprompter. What you see in the movie is really only the beginning—She had way wilder shit that didn’t make it in.”
Grant says she shares Schneider’s perspective on women working in genre film, though she notes the scene is slowly starting to change.
“Genre film has historically had fewer female filmmakers, though now it’s swinging back the other way. I wish we didn’t need a festival like Etheria to put our work out there, but we need more and more spaces,” she says.
Another Etheria alum is director Axelle Carolyn—this year’s recipient of the festival’s Inspiration Award. Carolyn—who’s directed episodes of The Haunting of Bly Manor, Creepshow, American Horror Story, and The Midnight Club, in addition to shorts and features— is also one of the many female filmmakers who got additional exposure from Etheria—the festival showed both her early shorts and her first feature, 2013’s Soulmate. “It’s surreal to get an award like this,” she says. “I’ve had the support of Etheria literally my whole career.”
Carolyn also notes the pattern of connection and inclusion at the festival that’s already proven true through numerous con-
ticipants: One of this year’s featured shorts, MLM, was directed and co-written by Stylist star Brea Grant. Grant’s short won the jury award at the festival on July 6.
“I used to come to this when it was in LA,” Grant says. “The programming is really good, it’s always surprising what you find, and they do such a good job of promoting it.”
Grant’s bold and funny short—now planned as one entry in a forthcoming anthology film—follows a would-be fashion legging saleswoman working for a LuLaRoe-esque company. When she fails
ETHERIA
Photos Courtesy Etheria Film Festival
versations with the filmmakers and festival organizers. “It’s great knowing that you aren’t alone out there. You aren’t the only one struggling with the same issues,” she says.
“We’re still so far from 50/50 parity in the industry. It feels like we’re turning against the tide a little, so it’s so important to talk to others who are facing and overcoming the
same obstacles in their careers, and to feel supported by other people.”
Filmmaker Sofie Somoroff, who came to the festival representing both her own short Ride Baby Ride and the surreal horror-comedy Make Me a Pizza, which she produced, is, herself, no stranger to seeming restrictions about the kinds of movies women filmmak-
ers are “expected” to make. Those themes are present in Ride Baby Ride, where a young woman is trying to restore a ‘78 Camaro, and faces objectification from both the creeps who sell her the car and the vehicle itself. It’s a pulpy, darkly funny story about defying expectations and coming out on top.
“I think you can and should be able
to take an idea to its extreme. You should lean into what’s gross and uncomfortable,” Somoroff says. “I like horror because you know immediately if something’s working with an audience.”
Annie Girard—the co-writer and director (with Diana Wright) of the Etheria short 1 in the Chamber—is used to that kind of payoff as well. She’s also a veteran of the cult-favorite comedy filmmaking collective Channel 101, which was co-created by Community and Rick and Morty’s Dan Harmon. Girard drew on her experience as a mom for the Kill Bill-style comic short about a pair of hitwomen who encounter some awkward childproofed obstacles during a fight.
“This was my first time working with a stunt coordinator and stunt doubles,” Girard says.
For Girard and 1 in the Chamber producer Becca Flinn-White—both moms— the act of filmmaking itself, not just the career development aspects, is community-focused by necessity.
“Making movies for us takes everyone,” Flinn-White says. “It’s like, ‘I’ll take your kids and we’ll go to a play space while you go shoot.’”
Etheria is Girard’s first festival experience, and she says it’s spoiled her for future ones. “It’s been amazing,” she says. “Everyone is so friendly, and it’s really focused on art. Is this festival just heaven?”
Fake blood, dish soap, and wrestlers
AFTER THREE YEARS IN PRODUCTION, AUSTIN SNELL AND HIS RAGTAG CREW’S 16MM LABOR OF LOVE UNSPOOLS IN THEY CALL HER DEATH
By Abby Olcese
For Austin snell, it all started—as it has for so many filmmakers who came of age in the ‘90s and 2000s—with sam Raimi.
“I got into filmmaking largely because of the original Evil Dead,” Snell says. “It’s so effective and fun, but you can still see all the strings and all the seams in it. That was the first time I encountered a movie where something could be perfectly imperfect, and I think that’s why it works so well for me. Slightly less than perfect is what I’m aiming for.”
Raimi’s DIY masterpiece was shot on 16mm film, which is what Snell also used to shoot his latest movie, They Call Her Death—a grainy, gritty, low-budget homage to spaghetti westerns and Italian horror. Snell filmed it using an Eclair NPR, the same camera and lens combination Michael Wadleigh used to shoot his Oscar-winning documentary Woodstock in 1969 (the editing crew included Thelma Schoonmaker and Martin Scorsese). More to Snell’s purposes, it was also the setup Tobe Hooper used to shoot The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
“I’m doing this throwback style that replicates bygone genres, but I never want to make something that feels like a parody or a joke on those movies,” Snell says. “Those movies weren’t trying to be bad, they were made by people who cared a whole lot. 16mm does a lot of the heavy lifting. It looks like an older grindhouse movie as a result.”
They Call Her Death is the story of Molly (Sheri Rippel), a woman living a simple, happy life on the prairie in the wild West with her husband Thomas (Patrick Poe).
When Thomas is killed by a shady bounty hunter (Devan R. Garcia), Molly sets out to take violent revenge on the corrupt sheriff (Jeff Boyer) who allowed it to happen. She finds a tentative ally in the town’s new deputy (Dané Shobe), the only lawman around who isn’t on the take.
Snell, the cast, and crew started filming in August 2021 using locations like Wichita’s Cowtown Museum and the Missouri Town Living History Museum in Lee’s Summit, as well as sets Snell built in his garage.
“It took up every spare moment,” Snell says. “I can’t not work on it when it’s something I’ve invested so much in. It was a pleasure the entire time. I had so much fun doing it that looking back, it is a lot of work and seems crazy, but it never felt that way at the time.”
“How did they do that?”
Like many of the movies that inspired Snell’s love of 16mm films and low-budget filmmaking (he also collects 16mm prints that he and Stray Cat Film Center programmer Matt Lloyd show for Stray Cat’s 16mm Showcase series), They Call Her Death was a team effort. And by all accounts, it was a labor of love for everyone involved.
“I had a blast every time I got to work on it,” lead actress Sheri Rippel, says. “I hope someone’s foolish enough to let me do it at least once more.”
Rippel—who’s active in Topeka Civic Theater and the Ad Astra Theater Ensemble—came to the project after a friend recommended her to Snell. “Austin asked if I’d seen any Westerns before, and I asked, ‘Does Fievel Goes West count?’ But edgy
This was definitely one of those requests.
“Austin said he wanted it to have some articulation, so I brushed silicone into a mold and left it hollow. I took bouncy balls and put silicone and other material around them to make them act like actual testicles. Then, I added Dawn soap in there and put silicone over the top so that when Sheri touches it with the butt of the gun, it could move around a little.”
The result is easily They Call Her Death’s most memorable practical effect. “My goal is always to make people wonder if we did it for real,” Jackson says. “If I get the, ‘How did they do that,’ I’ve accomplished my goal.”
Another scene that comes up frequently with the cast and crew is a scene where a pair of outlaws attempt to attack Molly in her home, and she responds by mercilessly dispatching them.
“I was covered in fake blood,” Rippel says with the kind of happy reminiscence that most people reserve for joyful childhood memories. “It was mixed heavily with dish detergent, so that smell will always bring back memories of being on set.”
revenge flicks, like Quentin Tarantino movies, have been my favorite for a long time, so that made me want to explore it more,” Rippel says.
After reading the script, it didn’t take long for Rippel to know she wanted in. “I was sold on it immediately,” she says. “There were things in it I knew I’d never be able to do in any other project for the rest of my life.”
One of those things was a particularly grisly moment in which Molly smashes a bad guy’s testicles with the butt of her gun, a scene made uncomfortably realistic by makeup effects designer Jake Jackson. “There are a couple of directors I work with a lot, and they tend to bring bizarre things to me that you wouldn’t expect to put in a movie,” Jackson says.
The scene used so much blood, in fact, that it soaked through the set itself, according to visual effects coordinator Adam Jeffers. “Blood went through all the paneling and got to the garage floor and the walls,” he says. “Jake’s blood recipe is pretty easy to clean, and he did his best to wash it out, but with the amount of time it sat there, I think some of it’s there for good.”
Bulls, Bodyslams, and Burns
In a later scene, Garcia’s dastardly bounty hunter burns Molly’s house to the ground while she sleeps. That scene, another practical effect, required Snell to build and burn his own miniature cabin.
“I’m really proud of the miniature cabin I built,” Snell says. “I love miniature work and I’d rather see a not-so-great miniature than great CGI.”
Photos Courtesy Ashlyn Jackson/MMBN Productions
Jeffers, who wore many hats on the production (stunt coordination, prop work, and painting They Call Her Death’s impressive poster, in addition to working on vfx), helped shoot the burn with Snell and Lloyd at a controlled burn area outside of Lawrence. He describes it as one of the weirdest days on set.
“Some county volunteer firefighters came and waited for us to be done and spray it down. It seemed like it wasn’t nearly as exciting as they hoped for,” Jeffers says. “We burned Austin’s four-foot cabin miniature the same day. Taking things out, dressing them up, and filming them while they burn is maybe the purest art that moviemaking’s ever been.”
Jeffers also takes responsibility for creatively figuring out the problem of hiring stunt performers on a budget. “I’m a fan of regional wrestling and I hit on the idea that if we couldn’t hire professional stunt people, we could hire wrestlers, who know how to fall, take a hit, and make it look good,” he says.
The production’s go-to guy was Ryan Greeness—who goes by the professional moniker Moonshine Mantell. “I’d seen Moonshine at some Central States Wrestling events and was really taken with him,” Jeffers says. “He was carrying four grown men in a tag team match and I thought, If he has the athleticism to pull that off, this is our guy.”
Mantell also brought in Scott Tyler—a wrestler with a smaller build who served as a stand-in for Rippel in the more intense fight scenes. During a climactic fight shot at Missouri Town, the pair’s battle brought about unintended side effects.
“While they were fighting outside, there was this bull in a kind of rickety pen, and every time Moonshine did his wrestling yells and grunts, it was aggravating this bull to the point where he was pushing against the fence posts,” Jeffers says. “The staff had to calm down the bull, and then we had to continue shooting the fight dead fucking si-
lent. Moonshine would crack Scott over his knee and no one could expel air or make a real pain noise even if they were feeling it, because if they did, the bull would get loose and kill us all. They put their bodies on the line for our movie, and I love them both for it.”
“this is what my life is for.” They Call Her Death had its local premiere on June 20th at Screenland Armour Theatre. Now, Snell and Jeffers are working on a festival run and potential further theatrical engagements. Jeffers says the whole project has been a culmination of “a lifetime of watching trash film.”
The experience has been an inspiration for Rippel as well. “I’m proud of mastering how to twirl a gun,” she says. “The one I have in the movie is a monster, and definitely not fit for a lady’s hand. It’s one of those great hero shots that would be on an actor’s bucket list, and I’m so glad I got to do it.”
Not only that, but she’d gladly take the opportunity to work on a movie again. “If I could keep doing what we did for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t even have to get paid for it or anything,” she says. “It was joyful work.”
For Jackson, who also helped produce the film, the experience was more than just another gig. “It was a really fun, arduous experience,” he says. “It’s one of those deals where if you believe in the project and like working with the people, sticking with it to the end is the most important thing. It’s not just a job, it’s a production I’m proud of.”
Whatever happens next, Snell says, the project has been the shot in the arm to energize him to make more movies. “This is what my life is for,” he says. “I’ll be making films until I can’t anymore.”
Just like Sam Raimi, the 16mm man, Snell’s already got his grass-roots hustle mindset going for the next project.
“I’ve got a couple of ideas kicking around,” he says. “It’s likely I’ll keep shooting on film, but whatever happens I’m gonna pivot to the next thing.”
NEW BBQ PACKAGES
Blow the Man Down
TWISTERS BARELY HARNESSES THE GALE FORCE WIND OF ‘90S SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS
By Abby Olcese
Back in 1996, the Jan de Bont-directed storm chaser thriller Twisters was a near-perfect representation of what a summer blockbuster in the ‘90s looked and felt like. It had a script co-written by Michael Crichton in the middle of a decade he dominated. It was a science thriller, in a decade defined by movies like Jurassic Park, Congo, Outbreak, and Armageddon. The cast was full of Very ‘90s Stars—Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, and an ascendant Philip Seymour Hoffman. It was big, bombastic and featured quirky, quip-spouting characters.
28 years later, Twisters, [the…reboot? Legacyquel?...] of de Bont’s movie, also represents what summer blockbusters in its era look and feel like, though the defining traits are less favorable. It’s big and loud, with a cast full of fresh-faced attractive people. It’s a retread of existing IP, and as such, is bogged down by convoluted plot points that don’t make a ton of sense—not that you’re supposed to be paying attention—and pull focus from the movie’s colorful cast of supporting characters.
Perhaps most tellingly, despite all those ads showing off Glen Powell walking in the rain in a tight white t-shirt, Twisters is aggressively anti-horny. This may be the thing that makes Lee Isaac Chung’s movie almost worthy of academic study as a product of its time. Movies don’t need to be horny to work, but the way increasing numbers of big-budget studio films choose to avoid horniness—by doing everything but the actual making out and/or making love—makes it conspicuous and weird.
All this to say, Twisters is fun, but Twisters is also a reminder of what’s changed in blockbuster filmmaking between the ‘90s
and now. No longer do you get to feel a little smart, a little inspired and perhaps a little turned on watching a movie in a theater anymore. We are solidly (as we have been for upwards of a decade) in the era of turning your brain off completely the moment you plunk your butt in the seat.
Our heroine this time out is meteorologist Kate Carter (Daisy Edgar-Jones), who left storm chasing in Oklahoma for a life behind a computer screen in New York after a traumatic encounter with a tornado five years earlier. After she reconnects with Javi (Anthony Ramos), a fellow severe weather junkie and only other survivor of that momentous storm, Daisy goes back with him to Oklahoma to help his team of weather scientists try out some new data-gathering tech.
In Oklahoma, Kate meets Tyler Owens (Powell) and his ragtag team of “tornado wranglers” (Katy O’Brian, Tunde Adebimpe, Brandon Perea and Sasha Lane— their characters all have names, but you don’t need to know them), famous on YouTube for their live-feed tornado chasing. As a “once-in-a-generation” series of storms hit the state, Kate has to reconcile with the complicated reality of Javi’s approach to storm tracking and what his data is being used for. At the same time, hanging out in Tyler’s orbit helps her reconnect with her stormchaser roots and yearn to get in on the action again.
The action sequences of Twisters deliver in spades. There are, indeed, tornadoes, they wreak havoc, and a number of buildings and car windshields get smashed to smithereens. Stuff explodes, stuff catches on fire. There’s a lot of whooping and
Despite all those ads showing off Glen Powell walking in the rain in a tight white t-shirt, Twisters is aggressively anti-horny.
yee-hawing.
What’s missing is the interest in characters that helped make Twisters the enduring nostalgic favorite that is today. Like Jo’s crew in the original movie, Tyler has plenty of cool, weird friends hanging around him. You’d be hard-pressed, however, to remember their names, or what their role on the team is, which is a real bummer considering the fun up-and-coming cast (and the frontman from your favorite band in college) that’s playing them. They’re mostly just a series of people wearing different kinds of headgear.
With an engaging ensemble no longer on the table, we’re left investing in the growing relationship between Powell’s Tyler and Edgar-Jones’ Kate, both so charming they could melt butter with their smiles. That might be enough, but while the movie
clearly builds a romantic relationship between them, that relationship doesn’t go anywhere. It is, for some weird reason, happy to walk right up to the very edge of a payoff, complete with an airport chase.
Lest you think I’m saying Twisters is a bad movie, I’m not—it’s mostly a good time. The things it’s choosing not to do, however, are wholly indicative of what Hollywood is doing with summer tentpole films right now. It’s entertaining enough, tries very hard to figure out what audiences want, and decides they want a big fat pile of nothing that special. You should feel free to see Twisters in a theater so you can yell at the tornadoes, because yelling at tornadoes is really fun. You should also feel free to drag Warner’s and Universal HARD, and in public, for not letting this be the movie it could’ve been.
Photos by Universal Pictures
THE PITCH Events August 2024 Calendar
ONgOINg
July 30-Aug 3
Leavenworth County Fair, 405 W 4th St, Tonganoxie, KS 66086
Aug 1 & 2
Morgan Wallen w/ Bailey
Zimmerman and Nate Smith, GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium
Aug 2 & 3
Mid-America Music Festival, Black Silo Winery
Chris Redd, Comedy Club KC
Aug 6-11
Come From Away, Starlight Theatre
Aug 8-10
JP Sears, Comedy Club KC
Aug 15-17
Phil Hanley, Comedy Club KC
Aug 17 & 18
Kauffman Center Presents With Tobin Entertainment
Bluey’s Big Play – The Stage Show, Muriel Kauffman Theatre
Aug 20 & 21
Zach Bryan, T-Mobile Center
Aug 20-25
West Side Story, Starlight Theatre
Aug 24 & 25
KKFI Crossroads Music Fest, Stockyards District and Folly Theater
Aug 29-31
Jay Chandrasekhar, Comedy Club KC
Aug 30-sept 1
Kansas City Irish Fest, Crown Center
Aug 9
Hozier, Azura Amphitheater
Blink-182, T-Mobile Center
Warren Zeiders, Missouri
State Fair
Aug 10
The Vincents, Downtown
Raytown Greenspace
Goo Goo Dolls, Missouri
State Fair
Pat Green, Ameristar Casino
EVENts
Aug 1
Tim Murphy Art Gallery
Opening Reception, Merriam
Community Center
Lainey Wilson, T-Mobile Center
Pretenders, Uptown Theater
Orville Peck, Grinders KC
Nick Shoulders, Knuckleheads
Alexandra Kay, KC Live
Aug 2
DJ Pauly D, KC Live
YES Epics & Classics
featuring Jon Anderson, Azura Amphitheater
Steve Earle, Knuckleheads Hans Williams, Uptown Theater
Aug 3
Cody Jinks, Starlight Theatre
Summer School Fest, Uptown Theater 2024 KC Brew Fest, Union Station
Heart of America Hot Dog Festival, Negro Leagues
Baseball Museum Jess Bauer, Knuckleheads
Aug 4
Kid Cudi, T-Mobile Center Hobo Johnson and The Lovemakers, The Truman Boyz || Men, Starlight Theatre Ken Carson, Uptown Theater
Aug 6
Revivalists, Grinders KC Magic Sword, The Bottleneck
Aug 7
A Giant Dog, The Bottleneck
Aug 8
Blues Traveler w/ Big Head Todd, CRMU Healthcare Amphitheater
Conner Smith, KC LIve
George Ducas, Knuckleheads Foreigner, Missouri State Fair
Aug 18
BALTHVS, recordBar
Aug 19
Jhené Aiko, T-Mobile Center
John R Miller, recordBar
The 502s, The Truman
Aug 20
Green Day w/ Rancid and Linda Lindas, Azura Amphitheater
Aug 11
Old 97s, Madrid Theatre
Drew Hernandez, Comedy Club KC
Robert Jon and The Wreck, Knuckleheads
Aug 12
Childish Gambino, T-Mobile Center
Afroman, The Bottleneck
Aug 13
Tracy Lawrence, Missouri
State Fair
The Aristocrats, recordBar FLOW, Uptown Theater
Aug 14
The Smashing Pumpkins w/ PVRIS, Starlight Theatre
Curtis Salgado, Knuckleheads
Tauren Wells, Missouri State Fair
Bay Ledges, recordBar
Ben Nichols, The Bottleneck
Aug 15
Luke Bryan, T-Mobile Center
Avatar, The Truman
Ian Munsick, Missouri State Fair
The Lacs, Knuckleheads
Aug 16
The Pitch Margarita Experience, The Guild
Turnpike Troubadours w/ Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, Azura Amphitheater
Hawthorne Heights w/ Thursday, Uptown Theater
Ludacris, Missouri State Fair
Deana Carter, Knuckleheads
Aug 17
The Greeting Committee, The Midland
JCPRD Kids Triathlon, Kill
Creek Park
Phil Wickham and Brandon Lake, T-Mobile Center
Alabama, Missouri State Fair
Aug 21
Couples Therapy with Jesse Peyton, Comedy Club KC Kansas City SymphonyEuropean Send Off, Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts
Orbit Culture, The Truman
Maggie Rose, recordBar
Aug 22
Travis Denning, KC Live
Aug 23
Dierks Bentley, T-Mobile Center
Slade Coulter and Jacob Stelly, Uptown Theater
Dave Hause, Knuckleheads
Crusty Mustard Improv, The Black Box
Aug 24
Mama Mia! Backyard Movie, Screenland Armour Theatre
Aug 25
Jamey Johnson, Grinders KC Barry Manilow, T-Mobile Center
Paul Thorn, Knuckleheads Futurebirds, The Granada
Aug 26
KC Dance Day, Todd Bolender Center for Dance & Creativity
Aug 28
Dogstar, Uptown Theater
Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band, Knuckleheads
Aug 29
Cole Chaney, Knuckleheads
Aug 30
Ramon Ayala, The Midland Mac Sabbath, The Granada
Aug 31
Glass Animals, Azura Amphitheater
Not Quite Brothers, Knuckleheads
Marco Antonio Solis, T-Mobile Center
Aug 12
Childish gambino
t-Mobile Center
On his final tour, in support of his final album, Childish Gambino will make an appearance at T-Mobile Center on Monday, Aug. 12. After releasing Atavista—declared as the last project of the artists’ wide discovery—on May 13, 2024, Childish Gambino is now set to throw in the towel, once he has completed his New World tour, covering plenty of big cities around the nation, and hitting a few international stops as well. The highly-acclaimed musician has left over a decade’s worth of beautiful stains on the music industry, with hits such as “Redbone,” “3005,” and “Feels Like Summer.” Now, on what seems to be the final leg of his music career, Childish Gambino will surely give Kansas Citians long-lasting memories to carry with them as they bid the artist farewell.
Aug 28
Dogstar uptown theater
Your favorite action film start is back. This time, not for the big screen, but rather for the big stage. Keanu Reeves and his band Dogstar are making their way to Kansas City on Wednesday, Aug. 28 at Uptown Theater. The alternative rock band from SoCal are on their Summer Vacation Tour, ready to bring down the roof for the loyal Kansas Citians who have awaited their arrival. After gatekeeping any new music for over 20 years, the band dropped their album Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees. While Reeves’ claim to fame is through starring in the John Wick series, he seems to strum the strings of the bass pretty damn well, too. Those looking to jam out with the trio can find tickets at http:// uptowntheater.com/calendar/
Stay in the know about KC’s upcoming events on our interactive online calendar!
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As we are now fully immersed within the Heartland heat, everyone is searching for different ways to chill out. There’s one resort that plenty of people within Kansas City are opting into: Sparking up!
With medical and recreational cannabis sales reaching up to $124 million in May 2024, the Missouri cannabis market has now reached over $2.5 billion in cumulative sales since the first medical cannabis sale in Oct. 2020, according to The Missouri Cannabis Trade Association (MoCannTrade)—a conglomerate of professionals within the industry who serve as the voice of the Missouri cannabis market.
Out of this $2.5 billion, $370 million in cumulative sales tax revenue has been generated within the adopted Missouri tax program. While consumers are not usually thrilled about paying more than their usual $25 or $30 for an eighth, these hundreds of millions do go to a good cause: supporting veterans’ healthcare and expunging nonviolent marijuana criminal records.
Throughout the state, there are around 200 total dispensaries, with nearly 50 in the Kansas City metro area. But the market goes far beyond just these over-the-counter transactions. Between all of the cannabis facilities—cultivators, manufacturers, lab testing, and dispensaries—there are hundreds of different locations throughout the state where buds continue to blossom, which has created nearly 20,000 jobs within the sector.
Considering that all of this traction has already been made within the state since the first recreational cannabis sale occurred on Feb. 3, 2023, about a year and a half ago, it is safe to say that the recreational legality of the plant has received a warm welcome from Missourians. And with so much continuing growth within the field, it is only right to keep track of the fun (and not so fun) developments happening in the Show-Me State.
With all that being said, welcome to The Pitch’s new Smoke Show column.
Establishing the New Norm
In April of this year, the DEA made the decision to reschedule cannabis from a Schedule I substance to a Schedule III under the Controlled Substances Act, recommended by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). What was once categorized with substances such as heroin, peyote, and others that are considered to have no medical benefit and high risks for abuse, now sits among the schedule III substances, such as Tylenol and ketamine, which are considered to have moderate to low risk of abuse and dependence.
“This plan has been providing benefits to folks for thousands of years, so normalizing both the industry, and the perception of marijuana in general has been a big part of our efforts,” MoCannTrade Executive Director Andrew Mullins says. “Seeing the government take the steps to put this in Schedule
III, which obviously changes the classification to have a moderate or low potential for physical and psychological dependence, but also opens up the entire plethora of opportunities with the medical community. This has just been so exciting, and just positive for everything that we’ve been trying to do on behalf of the industry and on behalf of Missouri patients and consumers.”
One of the major benefits of this rescheduling would be that licensed cannabis facilities would be able to officially receive federal tax deductions that they have previously been barred from under the Section 280E tax code. The tax—implemented by the IRS—forbids businesses trafficking Schedule I or II substances from deducting what would be considered normal business expenses from their gross income.
“The marijuana industry—both in Missouri and across the country—are saddled with this very challenging tax burden that no other businesses have,” Mullins says. “So when you think about what the effect of that is, patients and consumers who are purchasing cannabis in dispensaries, we’re hoping that we’re going to see a lot more parity between those businesses.”
As of right now—prior to any official rescheduling—cannabis businesses across the nation are held to strenuous and restrictive standards in terms of how they handle their finances, and how much they pay in taxes, compared to businesses within similar industries, such as alcohol and tobacco.
“We’re virtually paying taxes at about 65 to 70 percent, top-line revenue number,” BeLeaf Medical Founder Mitch Meyers says. “So when a lot of people want to get into cannabis, they think they’re gonna make money quick, it’s not a quick turn just because of that, and because of how expensive capital is in our space.”
On top of the benefits on the financial side, the cannabis industry as a whole will soon begin to see plenty of advancements in
of 140 or 150 identified cannabinoids within the cannabis plant. So the fact that many of those have not been fully researched, and we really just don’t know all the various applications, this research opportunity to reschedule just totally changes the complete dynamic and allows for all of us to understand what the real power of the plant’s potential is.”
Previously, any research conducted had to be federally sanctioned and cost a hefty sum of money. However, if these changes were to get pushed to the finish line, groundbreaking studies and reports could begin to roll out, providing an even safer and more secure market across the nation.
“Each of us operating state by state want to see that research, but it’s very difficult— because of 280E—to amass enough profits to fund this,” Meyers says.
While this rescheduling does play a huge role as far as obtaining critical research goes and changing the perception of the substance as a whole within the country, there will not be much of a change seen at our state level in the near future.
“It all stays pretty much at a state regulatory framework and legalization, and there’s really no change there. As we understand it, it’s sort of all the other halo of implications that seemed to benefit,” Mullins says.
Now that the DEA has presented this rescheduling process, the following steps involve the White House Office of Management and Budget approval of the change, then sending it to public comment before finalization.
“We expect that there’s going to be challenges. Some of the anti-cannabis groups are gearing up to file a lawsuit to keep it from happening, so we’re gonna have to work through all that. I don’t see it coming to fruition, if it does, for at least a year,” Meyers says.
“In a perfect world, we would see this realized and implemented before the next tax filing year,” Mullins says. “So it would have an impact over the 2014 tax year for
LOVE AND LOADS: Why not doing your fair share is killing your sex life
three years ago, Abby Eckel saw that her content about mental load left viewers craving to know what her secret was. “While I would talk about these things, women would be like, ‘How do I get my husband to be like your husband,’” Eckel says. The marriage and motherhood influencer said she didn’t have answers for them besides saying her husband was a good man who shared equitably in mental load, respected her and their kids, and worshiped each other deeply.
Mental load, or invisible labor, is not just who does the daily minutiae—It’s also the coordination and planning behind the scenes, along with the anticipation of needs and a lot of mental list-keeping. “I think the simplest way to put this is it’s usually the thing that is keeping you up at night”, said Zach Watson on the Keep Them Coming Podcast. Watson’s online persona is “The Recovering Manchild.”
A 2017 Canadian study showed that there remains a perpetual imbalance in the home in Western cultures, especially in hetero relationships. The study shows that regardless of wives’ income, age, or work status, women do more domestic chores, mental labor, and kinkeeping than their husbands. A 2023 study showed that LGBTQ+ folks do not struggle with domestic inequity the same way heterosexual couples do—they are more likely to be relationship egalitarians.
day magic’ that happens? We remember and think of the end result, such as opening presents,” Kirkenmeier says.
But who planned and delegated who’s bringing what dish for the big meal? Who decorated? Who made sure everyone was invited and had a present wrapped? That person often does not get credit for this massive undertaking. Whether their partner doesn’t get how much effort and planning it takes, or they expect that their partner is just “in charge” of such labor, either way, it’s problematic.
Aubree Jones’ viral TikTok of her husband handing her an empty stocking broke viewers’ hearts this last holiday season. “It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time,” her caption reads. Her husband’s and children’s stockings were full. He hadn’t even bothered to think about her holiday magic for a decade.
The comments were filled with Moms who had experienced this same letdown from their partner before. Even more tragic were the adult children who realized how truly inconsiderate their father was as they saw the hurt their mothers lived through now in Jones’ eyes when she said, “I guess Santa forgot me.”
When couples, or triads/families for that matter, are not working together to equitably handle the responsibilities of life and its biggest events together, chances are, grievances will tally up.
that they work well together tackling tasks. One of them buys a birthday gift, the other wraps it.
Watson shared how connected he feels with his wife, even with a toddler at home. He attributes their closeness, both in and out of the bedroom, to the fact that he’s open to learning and growing, while also continuing to woo his wife.
“I don’t think there’s ever going to be a shortage of mental load that I am not seeing her taking on,” he says. But he has learned to take the reins more often, rather than make her co-create or approve domestic tasks.
“I think we’ve gotten increasingly better at having hard conversations,” says Watson. No wonder they aren’t struggling with intimate connection—communication is lubrication, after all.
If you want to work on your relationship equity, conversations should include deciding what tasks are necessary, where priorities and values lie, and agreeing to work together to move forward. Maybe some things need to be offloaded or deprioritized.
“Open and direct communication, having emotional capacity, maturity, and genuine love and care for one another are foundational to making a shift in the relationship,” Nickels says.
“We shouldn’t expect anything more from them,” Eckel says about messages from society, which simultaneously label men nearly incompetent regarding all things domestic, but lauds them as intelligent leaders and providers.
It’s notable that commenters on her socials consistently give husbands a pass, as though they are bumbling idiots who can’t be expected to know how to do things like their wife does, and further suggesting that wives simply lower their expectations of these poor fools and keep doing the labor without complaint. This is toxic and detrimental to everyone involved. It’s overburdening to her and infantilizing to him.
Friction regarding mental load runs deeper than who is doing more or even how gender roles are playing out. It’s often about a mismatch in values.
“One party is typically thinking just about the execution piece, which is physically doing the task, versus the conception and planning phase,” therapist Katie Kirkenmeier says. “That causes a ton of tension because they are not valuing invisible labor as being labor.”
How do mental load imbalances manifest in relationships? Kinkeeping, family events, coordinating schedules for the kids, holidays, menu planning, cleaning, and more—things that sustain your family dayto-day and make core memories. “The ‘holi-
“Most couples enter into relationships and take on roles unconsciously without discussions or agreements of who is doing what,” therapist Jessica Nickels says. “Then, when our unspoken expectations are not met, we end up attacking each other or ourselves.”
So, how can an imbalance in mental load damage the intimacy between you?
“Our expectations are not being met. The gap between expectation and reality is resentment. Resentment is a libido repellent, so we have some silently boiling folks who would rather say, ‘fuck off’ to their partner than ‘come fuck me,’” Nickels says.
“Sex is emotionally vulnerable and when women don’t feel connected and they don’t feel valued, they don’t want to have sex,” Kirkenmeier says. “One person does not do all of the work in a business, one person does not know all the to-do’s, and the project manager is not the one who is doing the tasks. But that’s sort of the system that we typically have set up in our households, and that just doesn’t work. It doesn’t function.”
Relationship equity is subjective, but couples who have the juice do exist. “One day I was sharing about the way my husband and I break down tasks around our house and child care, and women were floored. They were flabbergasted,” Eckel says.
She said she didn’t realize how many women don’t have a partner like hers. She credits her husband’s ability to have a conversation, the mutual respect they have, and
Nickels also believes that to move forward, whoever has been doing more has to take accountability. She raises the question to clients, “Are you willing to see your part in this imbalance?”
An action item that therapists recommend is regularly scheduled logistics conversations. “I highly encourage regular check-ins. These are deliberate, scheduled meetings with agendas,” Nickels says. Watson said he and his wife jokingly call them “Boring Meetings.”
Eckel, Watson, and Kirkenmeier are all certified Fair Play Facilitators. Books such as Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, Emotional Labor by Rose Hackman, and The Second Shift by Arlie Hochschild and Anne Machung are all valuable tools for therapists, coaches, and couples/throuples/families experiencing invisible labor disparities.
Eckel was very direct: “Your first hurdle is having a man, having a husband that is open to it, because if you don’t have that, it’s a moot point.”
If nothing else convinces you, let it be this bit of science—women who do not view their partners as dependents want to get freaky more often. Harris et al found, unsurprisingly to some of us, that if she perceives him as an equal partner who splits the labor fairly, the two of you will keep having sexy sweaty summer nights for years to come.
You can find Kristen @OpenTheDoorsKC on Instagram or openthedoorscoaching com. Check out her podcast Keep Them Coming.
Photo by Nicole Bissey. Illustrations by Shelby Phelps
Setting Up Shop
FLOURISH CONTINUES TO PROVIDE FAMILIES WITH ADEQUATE FURNITURE AND LIVING NECESSITIES
By Beth Lipoff
Imagine finally getting a living space of your own but having nothing to put in it— including a bed. That’s where Flourish—a local non-profit furniture bank—can make a difference.
It works like this: Clients of social service agencies in the Kansas City area can come to Flourish and shop by appointment for free furnishings. The amount of stuff they get is proportional to the number of people in their household.
They get everything—beds, chairs, couches, lamps, dishes, cookware, sheets, towels, pillows. Just about anything you might need to furnish a home.
“What we found through the years is that if someone is living in space without anything—without any furniture, without any basic essentials—they need a lot more than what we can provide them,” Flourish Executive Director Amy Cox says. “So we partner with agencies, not only to make sure the individuals coming to us have actual needs for the things we’re providing, but
also so they’re getting the other wraparound services they need so that they can maintain housing, and they can keep the items we give them.”
Cox estimates that they give about $1,300 worth of stuff by thrift shop prices to each family.
Families get to choose their own things, just like in a regular store, and the shopping trip usually takes about 45 minutes. A volunteer trained in trauma-informed care guides them through the various parts of the warehouse to pick things from each category, including decorative items.
“Sometimes we serve individuals who have previously been incarcerated or individuals who have been in a domestic violence situation for years, and in both cases, sometimes that individual has not even been able to choose their own clothes for several years. So to ask someone to choose an entire home is a lot to ask,” Cox says.
Although the non-profit originally started through a project at Resurrection, a Unit-
ed Methodist Church, Flourish became an independent charity in 2019.
The pieces come from a variety of sources. Often a hotel or business that is remodeling will donate pieces that don’t fit its new design. Other items come from individual donors.
“We’re sort of like a matchmaking service. On one hand, we have corporate partners, non-profit partners, and individuals from our community who have items they can no longer use or no longer want to use— but these things are still really valuable. And then we have people in the community living without any of them,” Cox says.
One group of volunteers works to refurbish furniture, so donated pieces don’t have to be perfect. A sewing-focused group fixes up fabric items and nothing that comes to Flourish gets wasted. Cox says she’s proud that their work keeps good merchandise out of landfills.
Recipients are responsible for transporting the items to their homes from the 29,000-square-foot Flourish warehouse in Grandview. Last year, Flourish served 1,069 families, and Cox estimates they’ll serve about 1,300 in 2024.
“Furniture isn’t just about luxury or extras. It’s about really creating a foundation where people can feel their own worth and their own dignity. Then, that can be part of the impetus to help them go on and accomplish their goals in the community,” Cox says.
Millie Puckett came to Flourish through Catholic Charities after leaving a situation involving domestic violence last year.
“I‘ve never experienced anything like that. They were very helpful, they had lots of
different things. They had furniture that was practically new,” she says.
She appreciated the amount of help she received navigating all the various choices, especially because she was using a wheelchair at the time. The other thing that impressed her happened after she’d accidentally left her chosen dish set behind when packing up her things.
Puckett noticed they were missing on a Sunday and called to let Flourish know. Cox got back to her immediately.
“She sent me some text pictures of the dishes that I had chosen when I was there. I said, ‘Those are the ones.’ She brought them to me on that Sunday. I didn’t expect that. I thought I was going to have to go back up there or I was going to have to wait until the start of the new week,” Puckett says.
For Cox, Flourish isn’t just about furniture. It’s about community outreach.
“There’s a lot of ways you can provide people with things, but to recognize that how we treat the people that come here is just as important as the items we give them is a big accomplishment for us. I think it’s really evident to people when they come here that we do care about them as people, not just as another number to say, ‘Okay, we served another family this week, we can mark that up on our tally board,’” Cox says.
Flourish has many volunteer opportunities for all ages, from drivers to the refurbishing teams to folks who sort through the dishes to make sets. For more information, visit flourishfurniturebank.org/volunteer
by Beth Lipoff
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