JUNE 2018 I FREE I PITCH.COM
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HERMAN’S HERMITS STARRING PETER NOONE
JUNE 2
LONESTAR JUNE 28
FEMMES OF ROCK
SHAMROCK FC MMA JUNE 16
JUNE 9
THE MOLLY RINGWALDS
THE URBAN COWBOY REUNION STARRING MICKEY GILLEY & JOHNNY LEE
JULY 6
JULY 13
AIR SUPPLY JUNE 23
RANDY BACHMAN JULY 20
Join us in the Star Pavilion for our thrilling upcoming shows. Get your tickets at Ticketmaster.com or visit the Ameristar gift shop to receive $5 off the standard ticket price with your mychoice ® card.
Free Live Entertainment 8:30p –12:30a ACCIDENTAL MOGULS • June 1 VANTAGE POINT • June 2 RETROACTIVE • June 8 KAOS THEORY • June 9 SASS MONKEY • June 15
INSTAMATICS • June 16 2ND HOUSE • June 22 MONSTERS INC. • June 23 AMANDA FISH • June 29 SUPERMATICS • June 30
Must be 21 or older to gamble. Must be a mychoice member to receive mychoice discount. Must be at least 18 or accompanied by an adult to enter Star Pavilion. Must be at least 21 to enter Depot #9. Tickets available online at Ticketmaster.com (service charges and handling fees added by Ticketmaster.com), or at the Gift Shop. No refunds/exchanges unless canceled or postponed. Offer not valid for persons on a Disassociated Patrons, Voluntary Exclusion or Self Exclusion List in jurisdictions which Pinnacle Entertainment operates or who have been otherwise excluded from Ameristar Kansas City, MO. Gambling problem? Call 1-888-BETSOFF. ©2018 Pinnacle Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
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CONTENTS
THE PITCH
Publisher Stephanie Carey Editor David Hudnall Digital Editor Kelcie McKenney Contributing Writers Tracy Abeln, Traci Angel, Liz Cook, Karen Dillon, April Fleming, Natalie Gallagher, Roxie Hammill, Libby Hanssen, Deborah Hirsch, Larry Kopitnik, Angela Lutz, Dan Lybarger, David Martin, Eric Melin, Annie Raab, Aaron Rhodes, Barbara Shelly, Nick Spacek, Lucas Wetzel Little Village Creative Services Jordan Sellergren Contributing Photographers Zach Bauman, Chase Castor, Jennifer Wetzel Graphic Designers Jennifer Larson, Kelcie McKenney, Katie McNeil, Kirsten Overby, Alex Peak, Vu Radley Director of Marketing and Operations Jason Dockery Senior Multimedia Specialist Steven Suarez Multimedia Specialists Becky Losey Director of Operations Andrew Miller Multimedia Intern Kate Scofield Design Intern Danielle Moore
CAREY MEDIA
Chief Executive Officer Stephanie Carey Chief Operating Officer Adam Carey
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DISTRIBUTION
The Pitch distributes 35,000 copies a month and is available free throughout Greater Kansas City, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $5 each, payable at The Pitch’s office in advance. The Pitch may be distributed only by The Pitch’s authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of The Pitch, take more than one copy of each week’s issue. Mail subscriptions: $22.50 for six months or $45 per year, payable in advance. Application to mail at second-class postage rates is pending at Kansas City, MO 64108.
6 GET OUT
Your June Agenda What to do and where to be this month. BY DAVID HUDNALL Grill Master Just in time for Father’s Day, Steven Raichlen is here to spit some BBQ knowledge. BY NICK SPACEK Monique Heart The Kansas City RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant (and former minister) talks reality TV and beyond. BY KELCIE MCKENNEY
12 NEWS
Hostile Takeover New arrivals on the KCK school board are upending decades of stability in the district. BY BARBARA SHELLY
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16 FEATURE
24 FOOD
38 ARTS
Monster’s Ball What in the name of Bubba is going on inside Muncheeez Deli on 39th Street? BY LIZ COOK
It’s Free Real Estate Inside an abandoned West Plaza bungalow, Open House is carving out a new, subversive space for art and community-building. BY ANNIE RAAB
Wild Wild Country Is the Jungle Law Group a law firm or a reality TV show? BY DAVID HUDNALL
The contents of The Pitch are Copyright 2018 by Carey Media. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the publisher.
Eat This Now The French macaron ice cream sandwich from Cirque du Sucré. BY APRIL FLEMING
The Pitch 1627 Main St., #600, Kansas City, MO 64108 For information or to share a story tip, email tips@pitch.com For advertising: stephanie.carey@pitch.com or 816-218-6702
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
Refreshing A tragic car crash sank Freshwater two months after opening last year. Now it’s returning to the scene of the accident. BY APRIL FLEMING
#NoFilter Lunch at The Russell is every bit as sublime as it looks on Instagram. BY LIZ COOK
COPYRIGHT
For classifieds: steven.suarez@pitch.com or 816-218-6732
ZACH BAUMAN
COVER
It’s Summertime, by Zach Bauman
Drink This Now Brewery Emperial’s Biscuit. BY DAVID HUDNALL
It Ain’t Baroque Kansas City Baroque Consortium keeps pushing the boundaries of its chosen era. BY LIBBY HANSSEN
42 MUSIC
Charged Up Kendu the Stampede is elevating the art quotient in your favorite local rappers’ music videos. BY NICK SPACEK
Generosity, community and new ways to experience art.
Now open
Andy Warhol, American (1928–1987). David Hockney, 1973. Polaroid print, 4 1/4 x 3 3/8 inches. Gift of The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, 2014.29.340. © 2018 Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts/Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York.
A free exhibition
nelson-atkins.org
The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection
NEW DOWNTOWN LOCATION 1 6 0 1 Gr and Blvd | Kansas C i t y, MO
WORSHIP #withKC
RESURRECTION DOWNTOWN
Saturday 5:10 pm; Sunday at 9, 10:45 am & 5 pm
RESURRECTION LEAWOOD 13720 Roe Avenue | Leawood, KS 66224 Saturday at 5 pm Sunday at 7:30, 9:15, & 11 am and 5 pm
RESURRECTION WEST
24000 W. Valley Pkwy | Olathe, KS 66061 Sunday at 8, 9:30 & 11 am and 5 pm
RESURRECTION BLUE SPRINGS
601 NE Jefferson Street | Blue Springs, MO 64014 Sunday 9 & 10:45 am 6
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
COR.ORG
CONTENTS
A PORTION OF PROCEEDS WILL BENEFIT
16 ZACH BAUMAN
44 FILM
Spoof Troop Deadpool 2: Bigger, longer, ruder, more violent, and maybe even funnier than the original. BY ERIC MELIN Five More Looking for other troublemaking comedies? A list. BY ERIC MELIN
48 SAVAGE LOVE
Pissed Off Pee-party etiquette; a MMF success story; lesbians and hetero men. BY DAN SAVAGE
50 CALENDAR
June Listings More summer events not to miss.
Letter from the Publisher How about that half-hour of spring we had? Summer is now in full swing, and I’m so excited to share this summery issue of The Pitch with you all. While you’re out enjoying Kansas City, please snap some Instagram photos using #OurPitch, and we’ll feature your shots in our photo gallery. We want to see what you are up to. (I promise it’s not as creepy as it sounds.) And as you make plans for the next few months, I hope you will carve out some time to nominate your favorite places, people, and things for our upcoming Best of Kansas City issue. (We’ll be going live with nominations on June 18th.) This year, everything from the ballot to the party will be bigger and better than ever. Stay tuned
to your favorite communication channel (social, email, pitch.com) for updates. And if you feel up to playing hooky with us on June 14, we’d love to see you out at Minor Park for The Pitch’s 2018 Golf Tournament. Don’t worry about your handicap; this is not your father’s golf tournament. (Although dads are encouraged to attend. In fact, we think golf with your dad would make a great early Father’s Day gift.) Just be ready for some unexpected adventures at each hole. Keep it classy, Kansas City! Cheers, Stephanie @QueenofQuirky #OurPitch
SI N GL E & PA IR PRICING AVAILABLE! R EGI STER A FOURSOME FOR $400 SPONSORED BY
CALL 816 561 6061 OR VISIT PITCH.COM pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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GET OUT
June Big Slick Celebrity Weekend
Unexpected Encounters
You’ll need relatively deep pockets to attend several of the events affiliated with Big Slick, the annual Children’s Mercy fundraiser featuring Hollywood-funnymen-with-KC-roots Paul Rudd, Rob Riggle, Eric Stonestreet, David Koechner, and Jason Sudeikis. But if you don’t have $2,500 for the bowling tournament at Pinstripes at Prairiefire, you can still hang at the outdoor block party outside the venue. It’s free, goes from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., and includes a red carpet event where you might spy some of this year’s special guests (Charlie Day, Jake Tapper, and Will Forte are all confirmed for the event). Likewise, a ticket to the Royals vs. Oakland Athletics game on Friday night means you can arrive early and watch the 5 p.m. celebrity softball game.
This summer exhibition highlights 250 pieces of art the Nelson has acquired over the last decade, many of which will be on view for the very first time. The collection spans six centuries and multiple disciplines — Kara Walker, Sean Scully, Carlo Bugatti, Rachel Ruysch, and Emile Bernard are among those represented — and, as its title suggests, seeks to challenge curatorial presumptions through its juxtapositions.
Friday, June 1 – Saturday, June 2 Prairiefire bigslickkc.org
Saturday, June 2 – Sunday, August 12 The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art nelson-atkins.org
Had) The Time of My Life” and “Hungry Eyes,” and at some point a beautiful beefcake of a man from the wrong side of the tracks will reveal the area of the room where Baby ought not be put.
Heart of America Shakespeare Festival
Tuesday, June 12 – Sunday, July 1 Southmoreland Park kcshakes.org
Dirty Dancing: The Classic Story on Stage
Tuesday, June 5 – Sunday, June 10 Starlight Theatre kcstarlight.com
The musical adaptation of the 1987 sleeper hit Dirty Dancing stops in KC for a week of shows. You will hear “(I’ve
Har Mar Superstar Sings Sam Cooke
Har Mar Superstar (aka Sean Tillman) is a white, balding, round, middle-aged Minneapolitan who has spent the better part of the last two decades crooning retro-soul songs to beery crowds. This time out, Har Mar is treating audiences to something a little more elegant, performing the songs of Sam Cooke in a suit and tie. (The band will also be performing a set of Har Mar songs inspired by Cooke.) Thursday, June 7 Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts kauffmancenter.org
The former Talking Heads frontman recently released American Utopia, his first solo album since 2004. To bring its worldly art-pop to life, Byrne is touring THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
Few KC traditions are as low-key wonderful as the Heart of America Shakespeare Festival in Southmoreland Park. Pick a night — the show runs Tuesday through Sunday, 8 p.m. — pack a picnic and a blanket, and get cozy under the summer stars for this year’s production of Much Ado About Nothing. As always, the show is free to the public.
Thursday, June 7 RecordBar recordbar.com
David Byrne
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with an 11-piece ensemble and accessing the same instincts for conceptual choreography he drew upon in Stop Making Sense, the iconic 1983 concert documentary about his old band.
The Coathangers
Tuesday, June 12 RecordBar recordbar.com
The Coathangers, an all-female Atlanta trio now 12 years into an accidental career, remain a reliable source of frenzied and harsh punk jams. They’re joined tonight by Salty, an all-male local quartet with not-dissimilar ideas about the genre.
pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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band is the headliner, and opening duties fall to Half Waif, the mournful and dramatic synth-pop project of Nandi Rose Plunkett.
OD & WIN FO E
Neal Brennan
Friday, June 14 The Truman thetrumankc.com
Best known as the white guy who co-created Chapelle’s Show, Neal Brennan has continued to thrive behind the scenes, directing episodes of Inside Amy Schumer and writing for The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Brennan is gradually coming into his own as a performer, though, as he demonstrated on last year’s engaging one-man show/ stand-up special 3 Mics (now streaming on Netflix).
The Sea and Cake
Thursday, June 21 The Bottleneck thebottlenecklive.com
Unfailingly tasteful Chicago lifers The Sea and Cake are back with Any Day, the band’s first full-length in six years. It’s perhaps a bit more energetic than recent Sea and Cake records, but the sound remains more or less the same: breezy jazz tones, mellow synths, Sam Prekop’s breathy vocals. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
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rée i o s en d r a g
BE OUR GUEST AT THE EVENT OF THE SUMMER! Come join The Arts & Recreation Foundationof Overland Park for an evening of fun at theOP Arboretum & Botanical Gardens. Enjoy the new “Whirlwind: Art in Motion” exhibition displayed throughout delightful landscapesas you’re treated to fine wine, delicious food, and a variety of entertainment options – including a dazzling fireworks display. It’s the premier networking event of the season!
Japanese Breakfast
Sunday, June 17 RecordBar recordbar.com
Michelle Zauner’s dreamy, shoegaze-inflected indie rock act Japanese Breakfast is finding a wider audience, thanks in part to touring slots opening for Alex G and Tegan and Sara. Here, her
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
2018
Middle of the Map
Friday, June 29 - Saturday, June 30 Crown Center Pavilion and other Crossroads venues middleofthemapfest.com
In its eighth year — time flies — Middle of the Map has once again relocat(continued on page 12)
Purchase your tickets or sponsorship package today! Visit stemssoiree.org or call 913.322.6467 for all ticket and event information. Presenting Sponsors:
in partnership with the Regnier Family Foundations
JUNE 23 7-11 p.m. At the beautiful Overland Park Arboretum & Botanical Gardens
GET OUT
Grill Master JUST IN TIME FOR FATHER’S DAY, STEVEN RAICHLEN IS HERE TO SPIT SOME BBQ KNOWLEDGE. BY NICK SPACEK
Steven Raichlen is, perhaps, the world’s leading authority on how to cook outdoors. With the publication of The Barbecue Bible in 1998, Raichlen established himself as both an enthusiast and a scholar of “bringing out the primal flavor of food,” as he put it in the introduction to that seminal cookbook. Since then, Raichlen’s helmed three different PBS series on barbecue and grilling, two French-Canadian cooking series, and opened his own cooking school, the aptly named Barbecue University. He’s published over a dozen books on the subject, covering everything from sauces to smoking to the various things one can cram
my project was to study medieval cooking in Europe. I traveled around Europe and studied old books in great libraries, went to a modern French cooking school, and kind of immersed myself in the culture. In a sense, I’ve been doing that ever since. I wrote the book [The Barbecue Bible], and then I was going to write a noodle bible, but for some reason, I just couldn’t get into it, so instead, one night, I set down and wrote a list of everything I wanted to accomplish with barbecue. That included everything from a barbecue university to a TV show to a line of products, and I’ve sort of been just working through the list
STEVEN RAICHLEN: PROJECT FIRE LIVE WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20 SMOKE N’ FIRE (8030 151ST STREET, OVERLAND PARK) $75 GETS YOU DINNER, DRINKS, LIVE MUSIC, AND A SIGNED COPY OF PROJECT FIRE.
up a chicken’s rear. His latest, Project Fire: Cutting-Edge Techniques and Sizzling Recipes from the Caveman Porterhouse to Salt Slab Brownie S’Mores, arrived last month from Workman Publishing Company. Raichlen will be at a KCPT benefit at Smoke ‘n’ Fire in Overland Park on Wednesday, June 20, doing a live demonstration of some of the techniques in Project Fire. We grilled (sorry) Raichlen with some questions ahead of the event. It seems appropriate to be talking to you at the start of serious grilling season, although I imagine that’s year-round for you? Yeah, pretty much. Although it’s easier for me because I live in Miami. It’s not quite as difficult as it is for you guys. It’s the 20th anniversary of The Barbecue Bible. Did you anticipate just how much it was going to change your life? Oh, boy. Not at the moment — no way. I thought it would be The Barbecue Bible, and then the next book would be The Noodle Bible. I never intended to become a barbecue expert. So many of the books you wrote before The Barbecue Bible were high-flavor, low-fat, which seems like a world removed from barbecue. Absolutely. It’s been a crazy evolution. When I graduated from college, I won a Watson Fellowship, and
ever since. How do you write about so many world cuisines without cultural appropriation — without being the white guy saying,
“This is the right way”? Well, that’s a really interesting question. When I’m writing books like Planet Barbecue or The Barbecue Bible, I’m a reporter, seeing what they do, and trying to describe it, but you’re right: everything gets refracted through my sensibility and my kitchen and the way we grill in America. What I try and be most faithful to is the final flavor. Sometimes you have substitute ingredients or you tweak the final formulas to get the end result. … What’s interesting is that those ingredients have changed since I started writing about barbecue 20 years ago. Some recipes are made with something called strained yogurt, which you put in a strainer and drain through cheesecloth. Today, of course, with Greek yogurt, you’ve got it right there. Ingredients like lemongrass — 20 years ago, lemongrass was pretty esoteric, and I had to come up with a workaround like lemon zest. But today, you can find lemongrass in the supermarket. So that’s kind of been a wonderful thing. Coming to a town with a deep-seated barbecue culture like Kansas City, does being “the barbecue guy” present any challenges? No, I’ve always been pretty much of an observer. Short of my Iron Chef competition in Japan, I don’t compete. My position with any restaurant or barbecue joint that I go to, or any contest, is that I’m there to learn. Show me. I’m here to enjoy. Wow me. I would never say I could do it better, and in the case of true Kansas City barbecue, I probably couldn’t. Re-reading The Barbecue Bible in preparation for this interview, I was struck by a sentence in the introduction: “I honestly believe I could spend the rest of my life writing about barbecuing and grilling and still find new things to discover.” That is absolutely true. I’ve just done two stories for The New York Times in the last few months, and one is on what might be the most obscure regional American barbecue there is. It’s pork shoulder steaks, grilled — not smoked — over hickory, and dipped in a fiery, vinegary dip. You find it chiefly in Monroe County, Kentucky. So, I learned some more stuff. ROGER PROULX
pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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GET OUT KANSAS CITY
ed, this time to the pavilion at Crown Center. Grizzly Bear, Spoon, Built to Spill, and Social Distortion are the big names at the locally grown music fest this year. The smaller names — local acts, mostly — will appear at a variety of Crossroads venues over the course of MOTM’s two days. Tickets are $45 per day, $79 for both days.
keepers) meets the future (robotics engineers, solar power enthusiasts) at KC’s Maker Faire. Curious minds and a DIY spirit undergird the event, which is now in its eighth year. Single-day tickets are $17, and $26 will get you all-weekend access.
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Boulevard Brewing Company may technically now be owned by Belgians, but Boulevardia remains a deeply KC affair — and a worthy destination for beer heads, maker types, and music fans alike. The two-day festival, which returns to the Stockyards District this year, features live performances from Kansas City favorites (Tech N9ne, Yes You Are, Radkey) and national touring acts (Bleachers, Lee Fields, Manchester Orchestra). Also present: a daunting supply of delicious beer from breweries both local and international. Bring the old man along; it’s Father’s Day weekend.
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A better home begins with beldon.™ KKFI 30th Anniversary Celebration
Saturday, June 30 Folly Theater follytheater.org
Maker Faire
Saturday, June 23, 10AM – Sunday, June 24 Union Station kansascity.makerfaire.com
The past (letterpress operators, bee-
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
KKFI 90.1 FM has been blasting community programming out onto the local airwaves for three decades now, a milestone the radio station celebrates with this party at the Folly Theater. On tap for the evening: a cocktail hour with past and present DJs, a presentation on KKFI’s founding and history, and performances from a diverse and dizzying lineup of Kansas City musicians — the Elders, Sara Morgan, Cubanisms, and Kemet the Phantom, to name just a few.
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*New orders only. Discount applied by sales representative at time of contract execution. The Visa Gift Card will only be provided after installation and the job being paid in full. The installation cost equals to approximately 12% of the total project cost. Void where prohibited by law or regulation. Offer may be cancelled without prior notice. Loans provided by EnerBank USA (1245 Brickyard Rd. Suite 600, Salt Lake City, UT 84106) on approved credit, for a limited time. Repayment terms vary from 24 to 132 months. Interest waived if repaid in 365 days. 17.58% fixed APR, effective as of 3/25/18, subject to change. Other restrictions may apply. Not valid with any other offer or previous job. Offer expires 5/31/18.
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What is your favorite runway look you’ve done on the show? I would say my feather look. It took so much time to make, and I’m proud of it. The best advice you ever got: When in doubt, belt it out. Put a belt on it! What gets you on your soapbox? Hearing ignorant people speak without having facts to back up their statements. And even if they have their facts, using them in the wrong context. It just makes me want to slap some people, but I don’t, because I don’t want to go to jail. What makes Kansas City special? The drag is right. Kansas City, Missouri, is brown-cow stunning. And the history. You know, there’s so much black history that’s happened in Kansas City. Though it may not be really known, there’s so much jazz, and food, and culture, and art. We have some of the best in the country. The people in Kansas City are also great. It’s just an amazing city.
SCOTTY KIRBY
PERSON OF INTEREST
home, Mulan, Tajma, and Molten!
THE KANSAS CITY RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE CONTESTANT (AND FORMER MINISTER) TALKS REALITY TV AND BEYOND. BY KELCIE MCKENNEY
How does living in the Midwest impact the way you perform in drag? I think we get a greater advantage because we get to see what both coasts are doing. Missouri is the heart of America, and truthfully, without the heart, the body doesn’t live!
Monique Heart Monique Heart — the drag persona of Kansas City’s Kevin Richardson — brought what she calls a “glam-look queen on a budget” to Season 10 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. While many queens on the show come prepared with pre-made outfits and lavish designs, Heart’s limited resources forced her to get creative. Though she finished eighth, Heart’s sass, craft, and highly meme-able reactions won her many new fans, including here in Kansas City — a place, Heart declared on the show, that is “known for smoked meats, barbecue, jazz, and me.”
cano with almond milk.
Twitter & Instagram: @IAmMoniqueHeart
What does Kansas City need more of? Kansas City needs more drag venues. We have amazing drag queens. We just don’t have enough venues.
Hometown: I’m originally from Long Island, but I currently live in Kansas City. Current neighborhood: Hyde Park Your drink: My favorite drink is an Ameri-
What did you do when you found out you’d be on season 10 of RuPaul? At the time I was kind of stressed and over it, because I thought that I didn’t get it. But I was on my way to buy some E6000 glue from the store when I got the call, and I was like, “Yay, OK, I got it!” How has your family reacted to the season so far? We really don’t talk about it, honestly.
Who are other queens that have inspired you? Queens that have inspired me are RuPaul, Sasha Colby, Roxxxy Andrews, Tanisha Cassadine, and my sisters from back
What is the last thing you laughed at? McDonald’s giving me 15 nuggets instead of 20. What’s your hidden talent? Things that I cannot discuss publically — ha! What song did you perform to for your first drag performance? “It’s Not Right but It’s Okay,” the Thunderpuss remix, by Whitney Houston. How are Monique and Kevin different? We’re twins, but we’re fraternal. Kevin’s quiet and Monique’s kind of loud. We’re very much the same but not identical. Monique has a fuck to give because it’s her job. What’s your guilty pleasure? Chicken and waffles! I also like to go through the drive-thru and get an Oreo McFlurry and ask for, like, quadruple the Oreos. Then I go to the store and get another pack of Oreos to put in it.
What is unique about Kansas City’s drag scene? You would never see one queen do the same thing as someone else. We all have our own looks and style. We all just slay. You can put any of us up with any of the Ru girls and we’re going to show out. Who did you want to be when you grew up? Just somebody wealthy and powerful. I wanted my own stuff and to get my mom everything she needed. I wanted to be an important and powerful person. What’s your greatest struggle right now? My greatest struggle would be what kind of music I want to put out. I feel like I have a thousand and one songs, and I just don’t know what I want to put out there. Before becoming a queen, you went to seminary school and were a minister. How do you merge your strong religious beliefs with being a part of gay culture? I don’t really identify with the word religion because so many people automatically cringe and shut down and are no longer being open. But I believe that faith and spirituality are real. Combining and merging my spirituality with gay culture, I listen to who He is and who He says I am … I always feel that people sometimes ask how to merge the two, and they always want to blame God. But darkness is real, and darkness always wants to keep you away from the light. At the end of the day, He loves us all. Monique Heart will perform Sunday, June 3, at KC Pride Fest (Berkley Riverfront Park). Details at gaypridekc.org. pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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NEWS
Patrons of Kansas City Public Schools have long envied the KCK district’s administrative competency. That may be changing. BARBARA SHELLY
of the four — Harold Brown, a businessman; retired teachers Maxine Drew and Wanda Brownlee Paige; and Stacy Yeager, a business consultant — had been seen at a board meeting before. And all were aligned with Winn. Their faction of five now enjoys a majority on the seven-member board. What do they want? Consider the May 8 board meeting. The good feelings evaporated as soon as the student honorees left the room. For the next two hours, staffers sat stone-faced while board members peppered them with questions that dissolved into minutia. A resolution surfaced: Winn and her cohort wanted to hire a consultant to “give an evaluation of the [administration’s] upper tier.” Exactly how such a process would work, how much it would cost, or why it was needed, was left unclear. “I don’t understand,” said school board president Brenda Jones, who seemed blindsided by the measure. It didn’t matter: Winn’s majority had clearly consulted on the matter prior to the meeting. They voted to create a committee to work out the details.
Hostile Takeover NEW ARRIVALS ON THE KCK SCHOOL BOARD ARE UPENDING DECADES OF STABILITY IN THE DISTRICT. BY BARBARA SHELLY
While parents and teachers beamed from the audience, a parade of student scholarship winners from Kansas City, Kansas Public Schools introduced themselves at the May 8 meeting of the board of education. Their names and faces reflect the district’s diversity. Some of the graduating seniors began their journeys in Mexico, El Salvador, Myanmar, Nepal, and other foreign lands. Many are the first in their families headed for college, bound for schools like Park University, Kansas State University, Donnelly College, and UMKC, with plans to become pharmacists, accountants, and entrepreneurs. The ceremony was a tribute not just to the students but to a school district that for years has educated the children of immigrants and low-income families with professionalism and praiseworthy outcomes. Across the state line, patrons of Kansas City Public Schools have long envied the KCK district for its administrative stability. While the Missouri school district was until recently known as a revolving door for superintendents, KCK Public Schools — often referred to by its formal name, Unified School District 500 — has welcomed just three superintendents over the last 20 years. School boards mostly stuck to policy and avoided meddling. Capable administrators felt appreciated and enjoyed long careers. The district’s biggest challenge has been exterior: the perennial uncertainty regarding
14
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
funding from the state of Kansas. The absence of internal drama — unusual in an urban school setting — has served students well. With help from partnerships with businesses and colleges, the district has coalesced around Diploma Plus, an initiative focused on helping every student graduate with either a year’s worth of college credits, an industry-approved credential or internship, acceptance into the military, or a minimum ACT score of 21. But as the KCK school district prepares for the retirement of Superintendent Cynthia Lane on June 30, its long run of tranquility is skidding to a halt. School district watchers pinpoint the election, three years ago, of current board vice president Valdenia Winn as the start of the slide into mistrust and mismanagement. Winn’s modus operandi has been to delve into aspects of school district administration that stray far from the board’s policy-making role. She has asked to look at the personnel files of staffers in the district’s human resources department. She’s sought information on district contracts of less than $20,000, which can be enacted with the superintendent’s signature. She’s even demanded an accounting of discretionary funds that principals use in their buildings — pizza for math night, for example. Tensions over Winn’s micromanagement ratched up considerably in January, when four new faces joined the board. None
•
“THE MAJORITY OF OUR BOARD MEMBERS DON’T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE ROLE OF THE SCHOOL BOARD IS.”
•
•
Winn, 67, is a busy woman. She is a professor at Kansas City Kansas Community College, and she’s been a member of the Kansas House of Representatives since 2000. In an interview, Winn tells The Pitch that she’s inquisitive by nature. “My style is to question,” Winn says. “You have new members on the board with a different sense of inquiry. This is what I would say to the naysayers: stop looking for the monsters. We are navigating a very complicated organization and we want to do it properly.” Janey Humphries, who often votes with Jones in opposition to Winn’s bloc, sees the dynamics differently. “The majority of our board members don’t really understand what the role of the school board is,” she says. “We are there to set policy. Boards should not be micromanaging. We can’t constantly second-guess our staff and require them to answer the same questions over and over.” Winn maintains — correctly — that a certain amount of board skepticism is healthy for an organization. But some of the lines of inquiry she and her allies have been pursuing are unnerving, especially to those familiar with the damage that school-board meddling has wreaked upon Kansas City Public Schools and its students. Case in point: her interest in USD 500 hiring practices and the scrutiny of the hu-
NEWS
man resources department. Winn’s board faction wants to see more black employees hired as teachers and for other jobs. “Why can’t we have more people who look like us?” members have asked at meetings. Black students make up about 30 percent of the district’s enrollment of 22,000 students. Latino students account for about 50 percent. The remaining 20 percent of students are Caucasian, Asian, and a medley of other ethnicities. Winn says she doesn’t think the district works hard enough to hire black or Latino teachers. And she says “taxpayers of color” are inadequately represented in hiring. “There are professionals in the community that can’t get hired,” she says. “We need to respond to that, because this is a majority minority district. “ The administration is preparing a report on teacher hiring practices. But USD 500 is hardly the only district to find black and Latino teachers in short supply. Hiring qualified teachers of any race is a challenge for most districts in the metropolitan area and throughout the state of Kansas. USD 500 is also likely to face a board-inflicted challenge staffing classrooms with substitute teachers next school year. Since August 2016, USD 500 has contracted with Morgan Hunter Education, a firm that recruits, screens, and trains prospective substitute teachers. In that time, the rate of finding substitutes for absent teachers in the district has improved from 76 percent to 92 percent. The firm more than doubled the pool of available subs. And it saved the district about $300,000 a year. But all that wasn’t good enough for Winn and company. In February, the board voted 5-2 to not renew the Morgan Hunter contract. Winn led the charge, contending she’d talked to a number of parents and board members in the Shawnee Mission School District who were dissatisfied with their substitute staffing service. There was just one problem with Winn’s argument: Shawnee Mission doesn’t even use Morgan Hunter. Despite this flawed logic — and despite hard numbers showing that bringing substitute-teacher recruitment in-house would cost the district money and reduce the pool of available subs — all four of Winn’s new board acolytes lined up behind her and voted to nix the contract. (Humphries and Jones, the board president, wanted to extend it.) “At the end of the day, it was a desire to be more family-oriented, bring the operation back in-house, maybe we could be more effective at building relationships with substitute teachers,” Winn tells The Pitch. But Winn’s eagerness to heap more work upon the district’s human resources department hardly squares with her frequent criticisms of that operation.
“It probably is,” Winn agrees, “but when I ask about them, for discussion purposes, you would think that would be something they would proudly parade.” •
•
•
A sense of apprehension has settled over the administration as Superintendent Lane’s retirement draws near. “I really want to leave knowing that the board is in a good place,” Lane says. “I see myself trying to help them see their place in policy and governance.” But, she says, “I think people are confused. They often feel criticized.” Lane’s retirement was in the works before the dynamics of the board changed so dramatically in January. She has worked in the district for 30 years, as a teacher, principal, administrator and assistant superintendent. She took over as superintendent eight years ago, following the retirement of Jill Shackleford, who had replaced Ray Daniels in 2005. Those three superintendents created an exemplary 20-year chain of home-grown leadership. But no one knows what’s coming next. The board is woefully behind on its search process. A consulting firm As the district prepares for the retirement of Superintendent Cynthia is lining up candidates Lane (top), Valdenia Winn (below) is consolidating power on the board. for interviews in June for a job that will begin “I’ve asked to look at the credentials July 1. for that department and those people, they Nearly everyone agrees Lane’s team don’t have the credentials,” Winn says. includes highly qualified administrators. When I ask what credentials she’s look- Assistant Superintendent Jayson Strickland, ing for, Winn says something vague about the name most often mentioned to succeed membership in appropriate professional or- her, was one of two finalists for superinganizations. tendent of the Lawrence School District a “I’m going to ask for credentials in ev- few months ago. But district supporters are ery department, because that’s how I do dis- fearful that the turmoil on the board will covery,” she says. run off talented internal and external canI point out that verifying employees’ cre- didates. dentials is typically the role of management. “The board has shown that it is inter-
ested in micromanaging many aspects of the administration,” says Sally Murguia, a district graduate who sent two children through USD 500 schools and still volunteers in an elementary school. “That creates an environment that will make people not want to work here.” Murguia served on a citizens committee that crafted a plan for a $235 million notax-increase bond issue that district voters passed in 2016. She and other members of that team have created a Web site, effectivekckschoolboard.com, on which they report on board activity. “Having seen other districts in the metro led into dysfunction over the past decades, it is disheartening to see this board dismantle all the forward progress of the KCK Public Schools,” Murguia wrote after the May 8 meeting. She was especially troubled by the board’s curious resolution to hire a consultant to examine the structure of upper management. “What is their concern?” Murguia asks. “And why can’t we work on the concern rather than dismantling the entire district?” Winn is vague about her desire to retain a consultant. “It’s kind of like a self study,” she says. “As a new board, [with a] new superintendent coming, you have to look at your own organization; you always have to look at your own house.” District policy, as well as Kansas law, allows superintendents to make purchases and enter into contracts of less than $20,000 without board approval. Winn knows this, but she has asked to look at Lane’s spending anyway. “Is there an opportunity to tie a contract to a community organization, or a business?” Winn says. “We have some local businesses here that probably don’t do business with the school district because they haven’t known there’s an opportunity.” I listen to Winn’s explanation with a sinking feeling. It takes me back to the bad old days when Kansas City Public Schools was looked to as a jobs program and a handout to businesses and groups. The mission of a school district is to educate children and prepare them for a future in a complex world where a simple high school diploma is rarely enough. It is not to enhance the standing of board members in their community, find jobs for their friends, or provide contracts for their churches or favorite businesses. “I think what worries me the most is the instability,” Lane says. “We all have seen the struggles that occur when an organization loses focus on its main purpose.” We have. And it’s a grim future to envision for public schools in Kansas City, Kansas. pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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FEATURE
ZACH BAUMAN
WILD WILD COUNTRY IS THE JUNGLE LAW GROUP A LAW FIRM OR A REALITY TV SHOW? BY DAVID HUDNALL
FADE IN: INTERIOR — JUNGLE LAW GROUP OFFICE — DAY We OPEN on a circular table in a glassy conference room. Seated around the table are five individuals: an UNSAVORY JOURNALIST and four members of the JUNGLE LAW GROUP. There’s TRISTEN WOODS — late 30s; long, flowing blonde hair; crisp shirt; Fabio at the office. Beside him is his wife, LAUREN KRUSKALL — mid 30s; longer, flowing black hair; black pantsuit; movie-star makeup; looks very much like the former cheerleader that she is. Flanking the happy couple: DONNA WOODS — mother of TRISTEN, late 50s, poofy blonde hair, leopard-print blouse, a little bossy. On the other side of Tristen, KAREN WOODS — mother of DONNA and grandmother of TRISTEN, nearly 80, a little batty.
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
UNSAVORY JOURNALIST The billboards. Whose idea was that? CUT TO: EXTERIOR MORNING
—
INTERSTATE
35
—
Cars whizzing up and down the highway. The camera pans up and we see a billboard with a green tropical-forest background. TRISTEN, shirtless, and LAUREN, leopard-print bikini, are hanging from the trees. The big, yellow text on the billboard reads: “SWINGING INTO KANSAS CITY SOON.” BACK TO: INT. — JUNGLE LAW OFFICE — DAY DONNA We wanted to present something unusual to Kansas City as a way of getting attention for the law firm. You see them on that billboard, and you think, “What is this for? Is it something with the zoo? A
movie?” And so it built some anticipation.
media attention locally and nationally.
TRISTEN When we decided to move back here from Miami, I knew I wanted to start practicing law. I grew up here — Lake Lotawana, Lee’s Summit, and I went to Rockhurst College. But I hadn’t lived here in 13 years. I didn’t know anybody. And people have called me Tarzan my whole life. I’ve always had long hair. So we figured a good way to get my name out would be to call myself Tarzan the Law Man, and I’ll put elephants and monkeys and all kinds of stuff on my billboards. People said that’s crazy. I said, “Well, let us try.” We thought it all up on our own.
LAUREN We’re unconventional. Lawyers are seen as conventional and intimidating. When we started doing this, some people said, “Will their style be compatible with attorneys?” And I said, “No, but I think it will change how people perceive attorneys in the future.”
DONNA We’re trying to reach out to a younger generation. And it’s working. We’re getting lots of
CUT TO: INT. — TV STUDIO — DAY The set of a local morning TV talk show. On one side of this large room is a camera-ready sofa set-up where the hosts sit and interview guests. Nearby is a fancy, well-lit kitchen area where food segments are filmed. Neither is being utilized; it’s late in the afternoon, and the hosts and crew have gone home for the day.
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FEATURE
On the other side of the room, about 15 people are gathered around a shoot for a TV commercial that is underway. Away from the cameras, a middle-aged man is seated in a chair, holding a MONKEY wearing a diaper. The man is chatting quietly with another man wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a WHITE COCKATOO crawling around on his shoulder. A few feet away: a loud, colorful, caged PARROT, and a kitchentrash-can-sized OWL resting on a horizontal pole. TRISTEN is wearing a loincloth and white-and-blue Nikes in front of a green screen. He’s fumbled his line a few times and is trying to get it right. He’s frustrated but not too upset. A DIRECTOR is coaxing him through. TRISTEN (to camera) Lost in the legal jungle? Have no fear, the law man is here.
LAUREN (smiling) Perfect. BACK TO: INT. — JUNGLE LAW GROUP OFFICE — DAY
OUTFRONT MEDIA
DIRECTOR Cut. That’s the one. We got it. TRISTEN walks away from the green screen to the side of the soundstage toward LAUREN, wearing a grey business pantsuit.
TRISTEN How’d I do? Good.
LAUREN
TRISTEN Good or great?
LAUREN Tristen and I have been together for 10 years, almost 11. We met in Los Angeles. We were both modeling and acting. I used to play oboe professionally. I played in the Arizona Opera, the Tucson Symphony. But I’m from Boston originally. We moved to Florida together, and Tristen convinced me to go to law school. We’d noticed that a lot of attorneys are married. It seemed like a good way to share your life, share your career. And while I was in law school, I did a cheerleading stint for
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
FEATURE
the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for one year. When I graduated, Tristen said, “Let’s start a firm in Kansas City.” We were initially only going to do the animal thing for marketing purposes. But it’s become part of our practice, doing animal law cases. BACK TO: INT. — TV STUDIO — DAY Now LAUREN is reciting words into camera for a television ad. She’s standing on a wooden box for height. The PARROT is on her shoulder. LAUREN (to camera) I settle auto accident cases and I also handle sexual harassment cases in the workplace. Hashtag #metoo. As a former professional cheerleader, I know the
playbook. Se habla — Before LAUREN can say “Espanol,” the bird squawks and then shits down the side of her pants.
Cut.
DIRECTOR
An ASSISTANT OF SOME KIND walks over with a towel and cleans up the bird shit. LAUREN It’s no big deal. This happens all the time. LAUREN pulls out her phone and taps out an email. Near the back of the room, a MAKEUP ARTIST is doing DONNA’s face. TRISTEN stands nearby. DONNA Tristen, when you do say the “DUI, BUI, traffic citation” line, do it like you did last night when we
were going over it. INT. — JUNGLE LAW OFFICE LOBBY — DAY DONNA is hovering over a young office assistant seated at a desk. DONNA (to assistant) Make sure when you call them, you tell them about the national interest we’re getting from TV and magazines. BACK TO: INT. — JUNGLE LAW GROUP OFFICE — DAY DONNA I call myself the Momager. They sprung this whole law firm thing on me. I’ve worked in advertising here in town for years. We have an on-hold advertising business. We write
scripts and produce programs for clients — the stuff you hear when you’re waiting on hold for a hotel or an auto dealer or an airline. But now everything’s a whirlwind. I had a business and friends and a life and I’ve put it all on hold these last six months. I’m trying to figure out the best avenues for marketing, billboards, social media, our website, commercials. It’s all new to me. KAREN When you’re coming new to town, you don’t have 50 years of experience behind you, you’re not [NAME OF FIRM REDACTED], you don’t have jury attorneys. This is a whole new realm. TRISTEN Karen, what are you
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FEATURE
talking about?
UNSAVORY JOURNALIST Have you gotten any feedback from other lawyers about your advertising?
DONNA [to UNSAVORY JOURNALIST] Can you not put the name of that firm in your story?
TRISTEN A lot of attorneys have reached out and said they were impressed — that they didn’t have the balls to do something like that. Others try to poke fun at us and bring us down. I had a guy call and say there’s no such thing as animal rights law on the books. Which is not true. I didn’t even respond to him.
BACK TO: INT. — TV STUDIO — DAY KAREN sits in front of makeshift desk wearing a black judge’s robe. Behind her is a green screen. She’s holding a gavel and staring at the camera. CAMERA GUY (off screen) Alright, let’s go one more. DAVID HUDNALL
KAREN Case dis-missed. KAREN taps the gavel down onto the desk. CAMERA GUY Again, but this time really raise the gavel and slam it down.
CUT TO: MONTAGE OF LOCAL ATTORNEYS SPEAKING TO UNSAVORY JOURNALIST
INT. — JUNGLE LAW GROUP OFFICE — DAY
LAWYER #1 [Reading from the Missouri Supreme Court’s Rules of Professional Conduct]: “In all communications concerning a lawyer’s services, a lawyer should avoid advertising that serves to denigrate the dignity of the profession or trust in courts, of which every lawyer functions as an officer.” Now, to me, a guy in a loincloth on a billboard — that’s possibly denigrating the dignity of the profession. That’s my opinion. I don’t want to be quoted on that.
UNSAVORY JOURNALIST This kind of advertising you’re doing is a very specific choice. What do you think about people who say you’re making a mockery of the legal profession by appearing half-naked on billboards?
LAWYER #2 It’s all hat, no cattle. It’s all marketing and no actual lawyering underneath. Do they even try cases? They say they do animal law. I don’t even know what that is! This is off the record, right?
KAREN Case! Dismissed! She slams the gavel slightly harder. CAMERA GUY This time harder, but look right at the camera when you do it. TRISTEN [to UNSAVORY JOURNALIST] She’s 78 years old. BACK TO:
LAWYER #3 Imagine if some jour-
20
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
nalist came to town and started … oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s not that different than the other attorneys who advertise on billboards. I met the Tarzan guy once. He seemed like an OK guy. Don’t quote me. LAWYER #4 Somebody told me Tarzan’s name used to be Jason. You know anything about that? BACK TO: INT. — JUNGLE LAW GROUP OFFICE — DAY TRISTEN I’m working on over 100 cases right now. We’re doing real work. We do the animal cases mostly for free to bring awareness to crimes committed against animals. I do mostly DUIs and traffic tickets. I’ve done civil work for years, but now Lauren is doing more of that end of things with the sexual harassment stuff. She’s gonna be at the forefront of the #metoo movement just like we’ve been at the forefront of the animal stuff.
LAUREN I think what has been cool is that, when we got here, there were a lot of attorneys who maybe didn’t take us seriously because of the marketing. But the good news is that other attorneys reached out and were like, “We want in.” They wanted us to refer them cases, collaborate with us. Many have been really generous. TRISTEN And I’m doing a CLE at the Nelson — a continuing legal education class — soon to talk about how our firm has approached marketing and branding. And the American Bar Association, they just did a story on us. They’re featuring us with a four-page spread. That’s a publication that goes out to 450,000 attorneys. So we’ve got national attention. They’ve gotta be taking us seriously at this point. DONNA And we’re talking to TV, too. We have a sizzle reel we’re putting together for Ellen. And we’re in talks with six networks about a reality show.
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UNSAVORY JOURNALIST Which ones? DONNA We don’t want to say yet. TRISTEN The idea is that we could get national, or really, international exposure for what we’re doing with animals — defending animals against crimes and cruelty.
appears with reports that a cow-tipping bandit is on the loose back in the Midwest. Their services are required. “Typical mother-in-law,” LAUREN jokes, rolling her eyes. -An injured but impish pit bull claws at LAUREN’s chest, nearly removing her shirt and exposing her bra. “Do you want my help or not?” TRISTEN says, faux-stern. END DAYDREAM
DONNA But it would also follow us around at the firm and the day-to-day of what we do here. Here, we zoom in on the wretched face of the UNSAVORY JOURNALIST as it dawns upon him that he is essentially participating in an early rehearsal for a Jungle Law Group reality TV show. The kooky grandma, the pushy mom, the beautiful couple fighting on behalf of adorable critters — all four primary characters have already been developed. All that’s left to be done is bring in the cameras and build some storylines around them.
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BACK TO: INT. — JUNGLE LAW OFFICE — DAY DONNA ...We’ve got some producers coming out in June who will be filming us around the office. And I think pretty soon after that we’ll have an idea where things are with TV. In the meantime, I’ve got my hands full getting the word out.
DAYDREAM SEQUENCE
LAUREN It’s been pretty crazy around here with everything. Never a dull moment.
UNSAVORY JOURNALIST imagines potential Tarzan the Law Man scenes. We see:
DONNA That’s for sure. Never a dull moment.
-TRISTEN in a Judge Judy-style courtroom, telling the defense to stop “monkeying around.”
Yep.
-An ELDERLY WOMAN pets a tabby cat with wheels for back legs. TRISTEN and LAUREN look on with sympathetic eyes. The ELDERLY WOMAN informs them of a suspicious neighbor she believes to be responsible for her cat’s disfigurement. “Let the Law Man handle this,” TRISTEN says solemnly. -A shirtless TRISTEN and bikini’d LAUREN celebrate on the beach after being awarded substantial punitive damages in a case involving a stolen toucan. They clink their boat drinks together and lean in for a kiss just as DONNA
TRISTEN
DONNA And we’re gonna be at Rockfest this year, too. You ever go to Rockfest? We’ll have cutouts of Tristen and Lauren that you can stick your face into and take a picture. We’ll be really interactive with the audience, and we’ll have a couple of girls in their tiger outfits holding up Jungle Law signs. I think you should come. It’s gonna be fun. FADE OUT
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When Calvin Davis pulled up to Freshwater on the morning of June 17, 2017, it looked like a bomb had gone off. His restaurant was bleeding out onto Southwest Trafficway like an open wound. “It was awful — the worst thing I could imagine,” Davis says. Overnight, a sedan had hit a tow truck, then plowed directly into Freshwater. A teenage passenger in the sedan died. And Davis’ restaurant, just two months old, was well beyond saving. “All the thoughts you would think go through a person’s head went through mine: I’m just gonna give up. This isn’t worth it. This is too hard. I can’t do it,” Davis says. “I started to think a lot about karma. What did I do to other people to deserve this?” Not a dramatic person by nature, Davis decided to brush those thoughts away and figure out how to reopen Freshwater, which had taken him two years to bring to frui-
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Revival since last September. He’s made repairs to the restaurant’s infrastructure, tackled staffing problems, and completely redesigned the menu, shifting it from Cajun cuisine to elevated Midwestern comfort food. (Revival offers dishes like cornmeal-fried catfish with braised cabbage and cornbread streaked with a Korean chili sauce and kimchi.) But Davis never abandoned his hope to reopen Freshwater. On a visit to Kansas City this past winter, he noticed that repairs were finally underway at Freshwater’s old location. He called the property owner, Damon Abnos, who confirmed that the repairs would be complete by spring, and that Davis was welcome to lease the space again if he so desired. Davis did so desire. Since April, Davis has been building out Freshwater 2.0. His original sous chef — now chef de cuisine — Brent Gunnels is back on board. (Davis takes pride in the fact that everyone working in Freshwater’s kitchen was at a minimum a sous chef before coming to the restaurant.) Davis also brought in Chris Enss, formerly of the River Club, as general manager and wine director. Freshwater, which officially reopened at 3711 Southwest Trafficway in early May,
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looks much the same as it did before last June’s crash. But some alterations have been made. There’s slightly more seating and a brand-new bar, topped in dark wood. And the bar area now has an exposed brick wall, a relic of the construction issues that plagued the building after the accident. “The exposed brick is now a part of the story,” Gunnels says. Davis’s menu is an homage to Freshwater’s original offerings as much as it is a look forward. Standouts include the housecured charcuterie served with pickles and an intensely flavorful spring herb soup (served with grilled bread topped with fresh cheese), and a crudo of silky walleye (served with radishes, pea shoots, and walnuts atop a Missouri XO sauce). In the weeks and months to come, look for newer items like a subtle raviolo stuffed with house-made ricotta, and the tongue-in-cheek “Silence of the Hams”: fava bean shoots with pork liver and a chianti glaze. Davis and his team remain committed to sourcing nearly all of their ingredients from Kansas and Missouri, utilizing local farms including Woodland City, Prairie Birthday Farms, and Simply Natural. They recently worked with farmers connected
Brancato’s
CATERING
BrancatosCatering.com sales@BrancatosCatering.com 816.765.4707 pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
25
FOOD
APRIL FLEMING
with KC Food Circle for urgent needs, noting they were impressed with the response from growers. “Produce determines the menu,” says Gunnels. “It allows for us to have weird little things here and there that keep it fresh.” As for Davis himself, he’s busier than ever, spending the beginning of his week with Revival in Boonville, then driving the two hours to KC to tend to Freshwater from Wednesday through Saturday. But he says he doesn’t mind the seven-day work weeks. He’s just happy to finally have his old kitchen back. “We’re picking up where we left off,” Davis says. “But it’s been elevated.”
Freshwater 3711 Summit
Hours Tuesday – Saturday 4 p.m. – 12 a.m. Freshwaterkc.com
H appy Hour 7 Day s a weeK 3-6pm & ReveRse fRom 10pm - close $ 6 m a R g h e R i ta a n d m a R i n a R a p i z z a 20% off all alcohol Kansas City 412 Delaware | st Joe. 1628 FreDeriCK illazzarone.org
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
Friends Sushi & Bento Place
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HARRY S. TRUMAN LIBRARY AND MUSEUM In Historic Independence, Missouri – Minutes from KC
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TrumanLibraryInstitute.org pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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FOOD
Celebrating 20 years!
www.joespizzakc.com
4058 Pennsylvania Kansas City, MO 816-931-2777 “KC’s Favorite Pizza”
FOR COUPONS GO TO joespizzakc.com
28
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
Monster’s Ball
LIZ COOK
WHAT IN THE NAME OF BUBBA IS GOING ON INSIDE MUNCHEEEZ DELI ON 39TH STREET? BY LIZ COOK
How far into the black seas of infinity will one woman voyage for a decent Giardiniera? What infernal bargains will she make for a pretty good hot dog? The answers — whether I wanted them or not — awaited me at Muncheeez Deli, a small sandwich shop in the 39 West district that appeared as if by magic one day in the former home of the Just Juice Baby. Muncheeez is a decent Scrabble hand with a motto that isn’t, but might plausibly be, “Leeegally Distinct from the Competition.” All its cheese is called “cheeez,” all its customers are called “monsters,” and the dining room drips with branded cartoon demons that look as though they were cribbed from a drug-fueled children’s television show. The deli has a detailed creation myth for its tentpole star, Muncheee, and his infernal servants: “Munch, Chomp, Gnaw, Nibble, Crunch, and Bubba.” Bubba? Bubba. Here are some facts about Muncheeez Deli: The sandwiches are fine. The meats are sliced fresh and piled impractically high. The bread is an afterthought, a skin stretched across a distended belly of carnal pleasure. On my first visit, I had a hard time selecting a meal. Everything on the chalkboard menu was described in cheerily apocalyptic tones. Here was the “Corned Beef
Destruction.” There, the “Mr. Muncheee,” a sandwich heaped with every meat and cheese available. “Feeds two monsters,” the description warned. I did not order it, fearing what I might become. Though I did not see Mr. Muncheee on my visit, I felt his presence like a cudgel. All of the deli’s promotional material features the same red-skinned, sapphire-eyed devilbear with mammalian ears, reptilian spikes, and the disdainful, front-facing eyes of an apex predator. In the logo, the monster brandishes a single curled, gleaming claw, gesturing lewdly toward something just beneath the frame. “What is he pointing at?” I asked my dining companion. His suggestions did not comfort me. The Muncheeez brand belongs to Krown Concepts, a local group that owns the nearby Drunken Worm and MO Brew, among others. And while the deli is a small, solo outpost for now, it already seems to be positioning itself as a grim corporate franchise. The employees have dehumanizingly chirpy job titles — the person making my sandwich was a “Hunger Reduction Specialist.” And the decor reminded me a little of an Applebee’s, if Applebee’s were in the business of summoning Great Old Ones instead of microwaving mechanically separated meat parts.
Muncheeez Deli 1607 W 39th St Kansas City, MO 64111 themuncheeez.com
Hours Monday – Sunday 10:30 a.m. to 8 p.m.
pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
29
Official Real Estate Partner of the Kansas City Royals
RE/MAX Premier Realty | 2210 W. 75th St. | Prairie Village, KS 66208 | Each Office Independently Owned and Operated
# 1 REAL ESTATE COMPANY WORLDWIDE | Selling a Home Every 30 Seconds Sharon G. (KS) Aubuchon DOING MORE FROM #1 RE/MAX Agent 2015, 2016, 2017 #1 RE/MAX Agent Kansas 2015 FOR SALE TopTop 1%1% of of Realtors in KC Metro Realtors in KC Metro TO of All Realtors Nationwide Nationwide Top Top 3% 3% of All Realtors Licensed in KS and MO Assisting Sellers VOTED BEST REALTORBuyers (KC)and 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017 2015 Featured Cover Agent in Top Agent Magazine #1 Top RE/MAX Agent 2015 Voted Best Realtor KC 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016 Thank you!1% To allof my clients, friends, co-work and Metro support staf f Top Realtors iners, KC that helped me achieve this level. - Shar on G A ubuchon Su rv Top 3% of All Realtors Nationwide ivo r VOTED BEST REALTOR, KC 2012, 2013, 2015 & 2016 D
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RE/MAX PREMIER REALTY Assisting Buyers and Sellers 2210 W 75th St. Prairie Village, KS 66208 | Cell 816.863.3003 Office 913.652.0400 2014, #2 RE/MAX AGENT sharonaubuchon@remax.net
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Offices are Independently Owned & Operated Sharon G. Aubuchon, LLC, Sole Member Information deemed reliable, but cannot be guaranteed
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30
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
FOOD
Bring this Coupon in to any of our locations There was a rusty saw on the wall. There was a photo of an old man lighting a pipe with a match and looking sort of angry about the whole thing. There were nine clocks, none of which displayed the correct time. For what base purpose did they tick? My stomach growled — in hunger or fear, I couldn’t say. I ordered a cup of “nacho soup” and scanned a submenu titled “DAWGS-N-DAWGS-N-DAWGS.” The Super DAWG had Ruffles, “special sauce,” pineapple puree, bacon, and cheese. I wasn’t sure if I would like all those things together, but I ordered it anyway. I knew I would at least like the Ruffles. I took a seat in the front of the restaurant, surrounded by walls the violent color of fresh-spilled blood. Over by the napkins, someone had hung canvases with mocking inspirational quotes. “LIFE IS A BLANK PAGE THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS” read one. Another: “LIMITATIONS ARE ONLY CREATED BY OUR MINDS.” Somewhere in the distance, Werner Herzog awoke with a start, then stilled. I removed the lid of the paper soup cup while I waited for the DAWG. A film of oil floated on the surface. Pointed tortilla chips jutted up like Lovecraft’s mountains of madness. The soup was delicious. At some point, I glanced over at the wall and noticed an enormous decal of a three-eyed monster with two satanic horns the size and shape of ice cream cones. He was staring at me hungrily. A fat tongue lolled from his mouth. I looked at him, trying to decide which of the monsters this was — Bubba, maybe. His eyelashes were on the sides of his eyes. I did not look again. I rested my eyes on the photo of the smoking man instead. His face looked eerily familiar. “Who’s this in the photo?” I asked the Hunger Reduction Specialist. “I don’t know, man,” he said. “I’m not from around here.” There was nothing else to say, and so we passed the remainder of our time together in silence. I stared at the ceiling. A dried puffer fish spun slowly on a string, a
nightmarish carousel powered by the stale breeze of a ceiling fan. A butane torch punctured the silence with a savage hiss, and moments later, the DAWG arrived. It was swaddled in a pliant bun and smothered with brown-speckled cheese. It lay perfectly still on a square of red-and-white checkered paper. I took a bite. It tasted like something with cheese and pineapple on it. The bacon was nice. There were no Ruffles. Time began to slip away from me. I looked up from my DAWG and my companion had gone — for how long, I couldn’t say. Each clock told a different story. Minutes or hours later, a dark-haired man wandered in from the 87-degree heat carrying an enormous tub of mayonnaise-based pasta salad, which he handed wordlessly to the Specialist behind the counter like a ceremonial urn. On a TV in the corner, a weathercaster waved his arms frantically in front of an angry radar map, warning me to take cover. Days later, I awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, certain I’d hallucinated the whole thing. I opened my laptop and searched for some trace of the deli — but no, sweet relief, there was a website. The deli had been open for months, but its homepage blared an ominous banner: COMING SOON. I do not know what is coming, or whether I have the strength to weather it. I know only that I will return. I find my feet bearing me there even now, driven by some sick and nervous energy, a compulsion deeper than hunger. I see myself crossing the threshold into the creature’s scarlet maw. I hear myself greeting the proprietress, Sydney, who is pleasant and calm. I do not look for Mr. Muncheee. I do not think of Bubba and his sideways eyes, lids closing like eldritch window curtains. I do not dwell on The Nine Clocks and what will happen the day they synchronize. I do not ask for whom the dinner bell tolls — it tolls for meee.
5901 Johnson Dr., Mission, Ks 66202
913-362-7700 3395 Main street
Kansas City, Mo 64111
816-561-7176
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Lee’s suMMit, Mo 64086
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FOOD
ZACH BAUMAN
#NoFilter
LUNCH AT THE RUSSELL IS EVERY BIT AS SUBLIME AS IT LOOKS ON INSTAGRAM. BY LIZ COOK
High on the list of unmitigated delights, right next to a surprising meal and a good lay (or vice versa), ranks something a little less tangible: having one’s hunches proved thoroughly, recklessly wrong. For a long time, I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about The Russell. Sure, locals have raved about the lunch-only eatery since it opened in February. But I kept hearing the same comment, a comment that never fails to make me retch politely into the back of my mouth like a housecat that’s scarfed too much kibble: “It’s so Instagrammable.” They’re not wrong. Chef Amante Domingo and his business partner, star baker Heather White, revived the 3141 Main St. space on their own, and the new vibe is simultaneously moody and welcoming. Dark walls and brown leather meet fresh flowers and natural light. Shelves drip with old typewriters, and tables are stacked with more succulents than a Pinterest wedding (though given the building’s previous tenant, Russell Florist, this feels more homage than cliché). The pair’s eye for composition extends to the food. Sandwiches are photo-ready mosaics of bright flavors and textures; salads burst with grilled vegetables and heirloom tomatoes more colorful than a bag of Skittles. The Russell is, in a word, beautiful. But unlike so many other places designed for the Age of Influencers, the restaurant actually has the substance to match its style.
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
It starts with the kitchen’s focal point, a wood-fired behemoth of a grill Domingo designed and constructed himself. Nearly every dish on the small but intricate menu involves the grill in some way. Salad toppings are charred or caramelized over the fire; pans of vegetables crisp beneath grilled chickens, ready to catch the drippings like hungry baby birds; sprigs of rosemary and thyme hang suspended from the hearth, steeping in the wood smoke like tea. The grill is part of the ambience, giving The Russell a seductive smokehouse scent that may as well be called Kansas City Musk. The Russell’s signature salads are creative enough to make you excited about eating salad. The Heirloom was an appealing blend of prismatic textures and flavors: ovals of grilled zucchini, ribbon strips of tender asparagus, obelisks of charred mini sweet peppers, and smoky-sweet halves of Brussels sprouts tinged a deep walnut brown. Red quinoa and pearl couscous added a pleasant chew to the bowl and sponged up the bright, tart sun-dried tomato vinaigrette. But after trying the grilled half chicken, it became hard for me to imagine ordering anything else. I stan for dark meat — and the leg and thigh on the half chicken are moist, crisp-skinned, and smoke-kissed — but the breast on this bad boy (girl) was tender enough to make me a convert. Rarely have I sampled white meat this juicy. The spice rub added a flavor boost without de-
FOOD
COME THE
EXPLORE
GLORE
Join us as we celebrate 50 years of the Glore Psychiatric Museum!
Glore Psychiatric Museum 3406 Frederick Avenue St Joseph, Missouri, 64506 ZACH BAUMAN
Monday - Saturday: 10 am to 5 pm Sunday: 1 pm to 5 pm
Buy One Adult Admission, Get One FREE
The Russell 3141 Main St, 816-492-7557
Hours: Monday — Saturday 10 a.m. — 4 p.m.
GLO
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tracting from the main event, and a bed of arugula absorbed those rich, clear juices to make a garnish worth scraping from the plate. This is a hearty lunch, and it’s worth every calorie. Perhaps because of that, I could take or leave the accompaniments — flatbread, avocado, and lime, all grilled. I have long believed hot avocado to be a waste. Warm an avocado, and it transforms alchemically from magic vegetable butter into a sad husk of its former glory — like Coors Light, or post-2000s U2. (Yes, I am aware an avocado is technically a fruit, just as anyone tempted to write in about it is technically a bore.) And the “grilled flatbread” turned out to just be three limp flour tortillas in a trenchcoat. The Russell offers an off-menu special plate each day as well as a soup. (I enjoyed the curry squash soup, which was light and vegetal.) On a recent visit, the special was a platter of three “street tacos,” each stuffed with succulent pulled pork and topped with onion, cilantro (whole stems! but why?), queso fresco, and a vibrant tomatillo salsa. The grilled corn served alongside was mellow and sweet, topped elotes-style with fine-crumbled cotija cheese, a rich crema, and a spicy-tart, rust-red spice blend. The only detractor? Those same tortillas (flour! but why?), which tasted storebought. The Sumac Tenderloin was a slight miss, but to help you calibrate what a “miss” is here, I still cleaned my plate. The beef was a little mealy, and the sumac (a tart, unmistakable spice I adore) was undetectable. Still, the bright drizzle of avocado-green chimichurri played handsomely with the charred Brussels sprouts halves and tender fingerling potatoes. I preferred the beef on the “Steak Chimi,” which layered that same assertive chimichurri with peppery arugula and charred onion goat cheese on a soft-textured baguette. Even if you’re not a fan of goat cheese, order the sandwich as-is; the freshness of the cheese and sharpness of the
Includes admission to Glore Psychiatric Museum, Black Archives Museum, Doll Museum, Native American and History Galleries, and the Wyeth-Tootle Mansion. Limit 1 per family. Cannot be combined with any other offers. Not redeemable for cash. Expires 12/31/18.
Prices: $10–15 Best bet: Flying solo? Order the salmon and avocado toast with a side salad. If you’re dining with a friend who doesn’t mind sharing, split the half chicken and the heirloom salad. Either way, grab an olive oil chocolate chip cookie to go.
22ND
Wednesday, July 4 – 7:30 am to 1:00 pm 3 1 S T
A N N U A L
Bingham-Waggoner
Antique & CrAft fAir SAT., JULY 14, 2018
9 AM TO 4 PM FREE ADMISSION Over 100 Antique Dealers & Crafters Concession Stands Door Prizes Every Hour 313 W Pacific, Independence, MO. www.bwestate.org
9TH Saturday, September 8 – 2:00 pm to 10:30 pm
pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
33
FOOD
One of Kansas City's Newest Art Galleries and Studio Spaces 1701 Oak in the Crossroads 14 Private Studios Monthly Exhibitions 816.873.5199 www.hangergallery.com
34KCParks_Ad_PitchGuide_051718-outlines.indd THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
1
5/17/18 1:00 PM
other flavors almost entirely masked any “goatiness.” For now, The Russell offers a specialized brunch menu on Saturdays only, and it’s fairly traditional — eggs benedicts, biscuits and gravy, Belgian waffles. But even the classics here are executed with extra care. The BLT — a BELT, really — was surprisingly light-tasting, each element simple but wholesome: lightly smoked bacon, a bright avocado mash, and a perfect medium fried egg on a soft and supple onion bun. The salmon avocado toast made a compelling argument for my generation’s allegedly ruinous taste for fine toast. The herbed salmon was perfect, fired until just opaque — the flesh was firm but not dry, moist but not mushy. A bright drizzle of lemon herb yogurt added a cold snap of flavor, and the grilled bread was thick-cut and hearty. If The Russell’s salmon avocado toast is the reason Millennials are living in their parents’ basements and delaying childbirth, I’d say it’s a fair trade. Also good: the “loaded Bloody Mary,” which is a steep $12.50 but comes in an enormous jar sized for the hands of a Norse god. The mix in the one I ordered was flavorful, though not spicy, and laden with celery, grilled lemon and lime slices, two strips of lightly candied bacon, and a skewer of wood-fired shrimp. White’s desserts, which are baked fresh daily, are almost universally dreamy — and when the food is this bright and fresh-tasting, it’s tempting to cap the meal with something rich. My favorite of the baked goods I tried was the lemon meringue tart. Every component was faultless, from the luxurious dollop of sticky meringue to the brightto-bursting lemon curd to the crown of plump, tender blueberries nearly exploding out of their skins. The olive oil chocolate chip cookie is justifiably popular, tilting between crumbly and chewy with a stiltwalker’s balance. It’s also roughly the size of a disc golf Frisbee, which makes it ideal for sharing if you
have more willpower than I. When I tried it, the flavors were divine: a little salty, a little buttery, a little fruity, a lot chocolatey. I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, and yet I’ve craved that chocolate chip cookie with the doofy intensity of a Cathy cartoon since I’ve had it. I can see The Russell from my office window; I’m looking at it now. What is summer, I’m bargaining with myself, if not a chance to get a head start on one’s winter body? Such is the hypnotic pull of Domingo’s and White’s creation. This place, this menu, is solid from top to bottom. As I reflected on my visits, I kept casting about for something to critique. The prices? Steep for lunch, maybe, but reasonable for the quality and novelty of the food. The atmosphere? If I call it “Hipster Cracker Barrel,” I’m telling you the truth, but telling it slant. Yes, there are wagon wheels, antique sewing machines, wingback chairs and exposed copper pipes. But there’s also a coziness that feels more thrown together than slickly applied. (On all three of my weekday lunch visits, the dining room was packed with grinning business casuals, but I never had to wait long. Domingo and White have embraced a hybrid quick-service model to keep meals streamlined: order and pay at the counter, grab a seat, and a staff member will bring food to your table as soon as it’s ready.) On my last visit, I plopped down at one of the broad communal tables to wait for my food. When it arrived, I pulled out my phone to snap a few shots — I always take photos of my review meals so I can overdescribe them later. An older woman in the seat next to me leaned over. “Are you Instagramming?” she asked conspiratorially. I was about to explain myself, but then thought better of it. The salad was cute. The table was cute. The woman and her Ann Taylor twinset were cute. “Yes,” I said, opening the app with a sigh. “I am.”
FOOD
EAT THIS NOW
THE FRENCH MACARON ICE CREAM SANDWICH FROM CIRQUE DU SUCRÉ To spend a summer in Kansas City is to endure weeks of miserably oppressive, sticky, radiating heat. But there are a few perks. One of them is Cirque du Sucré’s lusciously gooey, chewy, and — if you’re doing it right — very cold French macaron ice cream sandwiches, which are generally only offered during summer months. The fist-sized macaron ice cream sandwiches are a treat best left to the pros; the process of making them can take up to three days. In the case of Cirque du Sucré, the steady hands belong to mother-and-daughter partners Vicki and Natasha Goellner. (Natasha also moonlights as the pastry chef at the Antler Room.) Vicki bakes the notoriously temperamental macaron shells to a lightly-crispy-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside ideal. Natasha makes the ice cream, which comes in imaginative flavors like orange blossom (pictured), sweet corn, blueberry basil, and the “Good Morning Vietnam” (coconut, coffee, and kefir). The ice cream hardens in the freezer overnight before being cut into rings for gentle placement between two macaron shells. From there, it’s all up to you. To that end, keep an eye on Cirque du Sucré’s Instagram account (@acirquedusucrekc) and website (cirquedusucre.com) for when and where these treasures will be available this summer. —April Fleming
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
DRINK
DRINK THIS NOW
BREWERY EMPERIAL’S BISCUIT
The word “bitter” means something different across the pond than it does here. Whereas in America we think of a grapefruit, or kale, or Marc Maron, in Britain it’s basically just shorthand for a pale ale. Thus, the British-born style of beer known as the ESB — which stands for “extra-special bitter” — is not necessarily bitter in the American sense. But that has a way of getting lost in translation. “You can call something an ‘American pale ale’ or a ‘sessionable IPA,’ and it’s gone like that,” says Brewery Emperial brew dude Keith Thompson. “People love it. But, for whatever reason, call that same beer an ‘ESB,’ and it becomes a much tougher sell in America.” When Thompson and his brewer, Sterling Holman, were dreaming up beers for Brewery Emperial (1829 Oak), they each wrote up some recipes, then compared notes. They discovered they’d independently created an almost identical beer. But while Holman referred to his as an APA, Thompson called his an ESB. What to name it, then? Extra Special Pale? American Bitter? “We had both liked the idea of using this Belgian malt called biscuit malt in it, which imparts a bready component to it,” Thompson says. “So we settled on Biscuit.” The flavor of the beer is as charming and approachable as the name. The Biscuit is indeed bready, in a way that is vaguely reminiscent of a Fat Tire (remember those?), but it’s crisper and less burnt-toast-like. It is a simple, well-balanced, refreshing-as-hell beer, and — most importantly — you can drink a bunch of them without getting too drunk or feeling disgusting. We’re not the only ones who have noticed. The Biscuit has been Brewery Emperial’s top seller and house favorite since it opened its doors in late 2016, and, this spring, the brewery decided it would be the first beer to be marketed outside of its East Crossroads home. So far, so good: the Biscuit is already on tap in about 50 local bars and restaurants. “We ordered 50 tap handles, and they’re all gone now,” Thompson says. “So we’re waiting to get those new ones in. After that, I think you’ll be seeing that Biscuit out more and more.” —David Hudnall pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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ARTS
It Ain’t Baroque KANSAS CITY BAROQUE CONSORTIUM KEEPS PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES OF ITS CHOSEN ERA. BY LIBBY HANSSEN
Of all the overused quotes adorning Pinterest walls, perhaps the most wretched is the out-of-context first line of William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night: “If music be the food of love, play on.” A closer reading — as in, read the next line — of Duke Orsino’s opening monologue reveals a less sunny worldview. And a closer reading, in more ways than one, is what you can expect during “Verona, Vienna & Versailles,” Kansas City Baroque Consortium’s second annual summer series exploring music of a specific time and place. KC Baroque centers its repertoire on the music of the Baroque era (think 17th and 18th centuries, think powdered wigs, think ornate embellishments), but stretches those boundaries to encompass an array of early music impulses, played on period instruments with historically informed performance practice.
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“It’s not until we are working with the tools of the day that a different language reveals itself,” says Trilla Ray-Carter, founder and artistic director of KC Baroque. When Ray-Carter conceived of the idea for a period performance series, she was told it was a “boutique offering.” “But that’s not where I wanted to go,” she says. “I didn’t want to cater to the boutique audience, because I think there’s something here for everybody. I’m really exploring those options and possibilities of what draws people in from the periphery.” On second thought? Nix those images of powdered wigs, gilt, and elitist scholars. Last year, the series explored baroque repertoire in relation to architecture, painting, religion, and choreography while collaborating with dancers, artists, and writers. This season, it’ll shift time, touching upon Renaissance, Classical, ancient, and modern
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eras during three concerts in June, July, and August. First up: KC Baroque goes HIP OP with William Shakespeare. That’s not a typo; it’s a sly bit of marketing to get your attention. (It got mine.) KC Baroque pairs historically informed perfor-
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mance (HIP) with the original pronunciation (OP) from Shakespeare’s time, inspired by the father-and-son team of linguist David Crystal and actor Ben Crystal, the foremost authorities of the OP movement. “Something really wonderful is re-
vealed when we go back and apply this original pronunciation,” says Ray-Carter. “You get more rhymes at the ends of lines. And subtle innuendos that were hidden with modern pronunciation are uncovered.” (Consulting on the performance is Paul
Meier, professor emeritus of theater at the University of Kansas, which produced an OP version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in 2010.) The July concert propels late Baroque into early Classical, featuring keyboardist Charles Metz and his brand-spanking-new fortepiano — a forerunner of the modern piano, invented sometime around 1700. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart performed and wrote for the fortepiano, along with the reigning bigwigs of “classical” music, Joseph Haydn and young Ludwig van Beethoven. On modern instruments, built for volume in large concert halls, much of the subtlety of Baroque chamber music is lost. “I think [incorporating period instruments] is a fascinating way to trace the connections over time and enhance our view of what was, where we are today, and how we got here,” says Ray-Carter. The summer’s final concert contemplates the musical world of Louis XIV, the Sun King, who reigned from 1643 (at the age of 4) until 1715. Under his rule, the arts
flourished and the French Baroque style — as exemplified at Versailles — was established. The concert features works by court musician Jean-Baptiste Lully and his successor, Jean-Philippe Rameau, as well as the world premiere of a commissioned work by Anthony Maglione, director of choral studies at William Jewell College. Paired with Rameau’s “Quam dilecta tabernacula,” Maglione uses the same instrumentation and six-voice combination (performed by some of Kansas City’s leading vocalists), but addressed in a “21st century Maglione” style, says Ray-Carter. Departing from both the Baroque era and Europe altogether, Maglione sets text from the 12th century Sufi poet Rumi, whose verse has long fascinated and inspired Western audiences (in 2017, he was one of the best-selling poets in America). “It’s important not to replicate or imitate the Baroque era,” says Ray-Carter. “This new music has to reflect today’s artistic language. I think that is what is important to preserve — to keep it in our contemporary language but let this sound world of the Baroque era, and [its] period instruments, inform and become a part of this new sound world.”
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ARTS
It’s Free Real Estate INSIDE AN ABANDONED WEST PLAZA BUNGALOW, OPEN HOUSE IS CARVING OUT A NEW, SUBVERSIVE SPACE FOR ART AND COMMUNITY-BUILDING. BY ANNIE RAAB
Can Kansas City continue to be a place where young artists live cheaply, have room (and time) to experiment, even own a space? The correlations between art and real estate have become more intertwined here in recent years, and it’s mostly not good news. As the Crossroads grows and becomes less habitable for artists and galleries that aren’t profit-driven, experimental and avant-garde art becomes more difficult to find, replaced in favor of goods that sell. Plenty of established, for-profit galleries are making ends meet and providing some measure of career sustainability for local artists. But is it possible for the next wave of young curators to build a new crop of galleries before Kansas City becomes prohibitively expensive? Is the price of being a “rising art city” to sacrifice the spirit of creation that got us here? Olivia Clanton and Brandon Forrest Frederick (pictured) are attempting to answer those questions — or, at least, explore them a bit — with a new gallery called Open House. For a while now, the two Kansas City Art Institute graduates (she’s 23, he’s 29) have been living together on the West Plaza and working freelance and service-industry jobs to keep their respective artistic endeavors afloat. Next door, at 4419 State Line Road, was a vacant, dilapidated home, in no shape to rent. But they saw potential. Eventually, they made a proposal to the house’s owner: Let us turn the house into a gallery before you start fixing it up. He agreed, Clanton and Frederick got to work, and now we have Open House. From the sidewalk, the gallery looks like several houses on the block. Up close, you discover that the real-estate sign and informational tube on the lawn — a common sight in the area these days — are fakes. Inside Open House, the work is hung directly on studs, and the temperature inside is roughly what it is outside. Not much about the place resembles the typical white cube. Consistent with that tone, the shows lined up at Open House, including Paul Shortt’s “How to Loiter,” (on display in May), and Jessica Borusky’s 24-hour porch performance (June 23-24), hew toward subversive politics and playful reimaginings of existing institutions. They use the community setting as an entry point into larger conversations about how to use what’s available. If what’s available is a raw interior and a small patch of land, Open House will make do.
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“Being in this context — in an older home in a neighborhood — is the most important foundation we have in deciding relevant shows,” says Frederick, a photographer. “We go back and forth between work that is directed toward the art community and things that are more interesting to people in the neighborhood. People know art galleries as being polished, so when people come in and see non-traditional work in here, they experience the show rather than view it.”
tal, and emotional — that separate neighbors and prevent social intimacy, Open House is hosting projects like Emily Cox’s Community Post, an ongoing local program that officially launched on April 1st but will continue throughout the city without a set ending. The concept behind Community Post (“ComPost”) is sort of like passing notes in class. A network of pen pals pass along letters to friends via other friends who might see them first. It’s “an alternative postal system where everyone is a
aged children — wandered in. It turned out that they were the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of a woman who once lived at the residence. Clanton doesn’t know how the family found out about their gallery, but, she says, “The parents encouraged their kids to be a part of Community Post, so the whole family sat down and wrote letters.” Thought it’s hard to say what will happen with those letters, the encounter brought forth precisely the type of neigh-
courier and the world is your mailbox,” as Cox says. “You are personally implicated when someone hands you a note to pass along,” says Cox. “There isn’t some unknown worker in another city, or miles of internet cables to do it for you. I want people to think critically about how we connect with one another — and what alternatives we are capable of creating.” On the opening night of Community Post, a family — parents and their teen-
borly spirit Open House seeks to incite. But it’s also hard to say how long Open House will be around. “As awesome as it would be to build a lasting community art space,” says Frederick, “we also realize this is likely temporary.” Maybe someday, though, decades from now, Clanton and Frederick will — like that family — return to the spot where they once opened a small, subversive gallery. With any luck, the community spirit they’ve endeavored to create will remain alive.
ZACH BAUMAN
Clanton adds: “We aren’t necessarily trying to draw people here from the Crossroads to look at art, but we are trying to get our neighbors involved in other projects.” One of those projects is a community natural-dye garden in the back and a native flower garden out front, two plots of land neighbors can access for their own use. (Clanton, who has a background in art and education, also wants to convert the garage into a communal workspace.) To further dismantle the structures — physical, digi-
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MUSIC
Charged Up KENDU THE STAMPEDE IS ELEVATING THE ART QUOTIENT IN YOUR FAVORITE LOCAL RAPPERS’ MUSIC VIDEOS. BY NICK SPACEK
Up until about a year ago, Kendall Blakeney was a cable guy. He’d spent his early twenties doing the starving-artist thing — visual art, mostly — with little success. Then his girlfriend announced she was pregnant. “I felt like I had to put the big-boy pants on and get a big-boy job,” Blakeney, who’s now 27, says. He knuckled down for a few years, devoting himself to his full-time gig and raising his new daughter. “But then I realized, ‘Man, if I put half the amount of this energy [from working at the cable company] into myself, I feel like I could be a lot better off,’” Blakeney says. “It felt like I didn’t have enough to show for the work I did.” Blakeney quit the gig and, since then, has kept busy making up for all the time he lost installing DVRs. He’s now directing videos for many of the biggest hip-hop names in town at the moment, including Aaron Alexander, Gee Watts, Kye Colors, and Stik
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Figa. But if you follow local rap, you probably know Blakeney by a different name: Kendu the Stampede. Kendu is a nickname Blakeney has had since childhood; “The Stampede” comes from watching a lot of anime as a kid. “My dad was a big goofball, and anytime he’d walk by the room, he’d make fun of whatever I was watching,” Blakeney says. “One of the episodes I was watching was Trigun, and the character’s name is Vash the Stampede. Not too deep.” Not too deep is also how Kendu describes his start as an artist. He learned how to edit photos via a YouTube tutorial, then started a photography business with a friend. They quickly found an unlikely revenue stream: cosplayers. “A group on DeviantArt found me, and for the longest time, I was getting contacted by all these crazy people who dressed up super-weird,” Blakeney recalls with a certain amount of disbelief. “And I didn’t really un-
July 7 Starlight THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST
MUSIC
“I’M GLAD TO SEE THIS WAVE OF ‘80S AND ‘90S AESTHETIC COME BACK, BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE I DRAW A LOT OF MY INSPIRATION FROM.”
derstand it. I was around all of these crazy people, and I felt really out of place, but I was getting to shoot and getting paid for it.” Blakeney directed his first music video in 2014, for the Dom Chronicles’ track, “Get Focused.” At the time, he was only taking photos, and his approach to video was based on that intuition. “I feel like [the Dom video] not being the traditional form of a music video is why it might have stuck with people,” Blakeney says. “I just shot it how I thought a music video should be done.” But for a video Blakeney describes as “pure experiment, for fun, me and some friends” and unconcerned with being perceived as art, “Get Focused” contains many of the hallmarks for which the director has come to be known. The colors are hyper-realistic, the focus is soft and dreamlike, and while there are plenty of shots of Dom rapping to the camera, there are just as many that could easily be candid images of the artist in a state of contemplation. Kye Colors’ “House Party,” which Blakeney directed more recently, is more like a time warp from an alternate version of 1990. You almost expect to see Kid ‘n’ Play doing the Funky Charleston in the background. “I feel like, if I want to be taken seriously, I have to be pretty diverse and attack it from all angles,” Blakeney says. That mindset extends beyond hip-hop videos. Blakeney divides his work into multiple disciplines and identities. There’s Kendu the Stampede, which encapsulates his videos as well as the painting and drawing he does. Then there’s HiiFreq, a production company that provides photos, videos, and social media management for companies like MADE Urban Apparel and Stranglehold Supply Co. Finally, there’s CaviART, which is, as Blakeney describes it, “a conglomerate of musicians who are all kind of doing their own thing, but their circle overlaps.” The visual identity of CaviART resembles that of a film studio, complete with a logo evocative of bygone B-movie producers — not far off from the vibe in the Kye Colors video. “I’m glad to see this wave of ‘80s and ‘90s aesthetic coming back, because that’s where I draw a lot of my inspiration from,” Blakeney says. “I’m glad we’re on this wave we’re on.” He continues: “We all hang onto a little bit of nostalgia. A lot of my favorite things and the creatively inspiring things come from the ‘90s — comics, video games, anime — all of that stuff kept me out of trouble...I try to surround myself with all the things that I love, and most of the time, nostalgia is what I feel it stems from. I spent so many of my early years working that I didn’t get to have a lot of fun, so here I am: grown, working for myself, and feeling like I’m figuring life out again for the first time.”
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Go to pitch.com/tickets to find the hottest events in KC.
THE GLADSTONE COMEDY FESTIVAL JUNE 7-9 at
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FILM
Spoof Troop DEADPOOL 2: BIGGER, LONGER, RUDER, MORE VIOLENT, AND MAYBE EVEN FUNNIER THAN THE ORIGINAL. BY ERIC MELIN
As the insurrectionist mental patient Randle McMurphy in the Ken Kesey adaptation One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Jack Nicholson was the anti-establishment character that the mid-1970s needed. The U.S. was recovering from its late-1960s freelove hangover and still processing the resignation of a corrupt president. Americans embraced McMurphy, who confidently and hilariously railed against the system — until it left him a helpless vegetable. In the 1980s, Bill Murray and Eddie Murphy’s wisecracking motormouths were a little less dangerous and subversive, but they kept the anti-hero tradition alive in comedies like Stripes, 48 Hours, Beverly Hills Cop, and Ghostbusters. Ryan Reynolds has been working this angle in various movies ever since 2002’s National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, but with 2016’s Deadpool and the new Deadpool 2, he finally has an entire franchise that is built around this persona. You can only be first once, though, and Reynolds’ solution to that problem (as star, producer, and co-writer) is to have more of everything. Deadpool 2 is everything you’d expect from a sequel. It’s longer, has a bigger budget, bigger action scenes, more violence, more rudeness, more cameos — and dare I say — more heart. (In fact, when it tugs at the heartstrings, it’s so cheesy that it almost comes off as parody, too.) And because the first Deadpool was such a whopping box office success, the sequel arrives weighed down by bigger expectations. With the sheer volume of its meta fourth-wall breaking and rapid-fire rude jokes, Deadpool 2 may even be funnier than Deadpool,
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though it’s kind of hard to tell because the surprise factor has worn off. By now, we are accustomed to the smart-assed commentary that disfigured mutant mercenary Wade Wilson (Reynolds) offers as he narrates his life story, but it’s still odd to see our main character blow himself to bits in the opening scene. All credit goes to Reynolds and co-writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (who also wrote Deadpool) for establishing — and sticking to — an “anything goes” aesthetic when it comes to the plot. If Deadpool 2 is truly subversive at all, it’s in its relentless mocking of the well-established superhero norms. No one ever truly stays dead in these films, and Deadpool is no exception, to the most ridiculous degree. As Wilson gets slowly more drawn into the classic X-Men conflict surrounding the struggle of mutantkind to be treated fairly by frightened humans, he meets an outcast mutant teenager named Russell (Hunt for the Wilderpeople’s Julian Dennison) who can shoot fire from his fists and calls himself, unfortunately, Firefist. Meanwhile, a mysterious time-traveling tough guy named Cable (Josh Brolin) seems hellbent on killing the young man. In an effort to protect Russell, Deadpool does what every comic-book fan has been anticipating: he assembles the X-Force. Since the superheroes he gathers have silly names (like Shatterstar and Zeitgeist) and even sillier superpowers (spewing acidic vomit and having good luck) the tryouts are more like an absurd SNL casting-call sketch than a gathering of badasses, but the team is mobilized and, in the movie’s most
IF DEADPOOL 2 IS TRULY SUBVERSIVE AT ALL, IT’S IN ITS RELENTLESS MOCKING OF WELLESTABLISHED SUPERHERO NORMS.
subversive and riotously funny scene, they parachute into the city to save the captive Firefist. You know the blockbuster superhero craze has reached critical mass when a movie like Deadpool 2 can support itself almost entirely by thumbing its nose at other superheroes. The movie is at its best when relentlessly making fun of the X-Men (Wolverine in particular), the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, the idea of resurrecting superheroes, and pretty much everything about team-ups in general. In its boldest move, the screenplay may even be satirizing the conclusion of Avengers 4, which isn’t even out until May 2019. The constant barrage of pop culture takedowns and rude behavior in general make it a little harder to accept (at anything other than face value) the “heart” portion of Deadpool 2, which consists mostly of the Firefist father-figure storyline (eerily similar to last year’s Logan) and Wade’s one-dimensional relationship with fiancée Vanessa (Morena Baccarin). What works better is Deadpool’s budding bromance with the steely giant Colossus (voiced by Stefan Kapičić), because it’s also played out with hilarious bits of macho one-upmanship. Deadpool 2 effectively and hilariously expands its place within the X-Men universe, but it doesn’t really widen its cultural targets too far outside of the superhero spectrum. So while motormouth Wade Wilson may not be as timeless a figure as Randle McMurphy, or as subversive a cultural critic as Sacha Baron Cohen’s Borat or Bruno, he’s the anarchic spirit we deserve right now. After covering so much ground in its genre in the first two movies, it will be interesting to see just how far Reynolds and company can take this character in upcoming films.
FILM
Five More LOOKING FOR OTHER TROUBLEMAKING COMEDIES? A LIST. BY ERIC MELIN
It remains to be seen how subversive the Deadpool movies will seem when viewed through a wider lens, but film history is littered with comedies that challenge the status quo, darting across the mat, mixing jabs and laughs with the inevitable sucker punch.
No thing
Much Ado About
Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator jumps to mind immediately, if only for the sole reason that he beat the U.S. into going to war with Adolf Hitler. In 1940, Chaplin’s first talkie had him playing both a lowly barber and the tyrannical fictional dictator Adenoid Hynkel, complete with the thick patch of mustache directly under the nose that international audiences had previously identified with his silent character The Little Tramp. Using the characteristics of such a universally beloved character to get filmgoers in the door and then making a point about the dangerous rise of fascism is about as subversive as you can get. It’s important to remember that context how much this single movie did to move the needle on how people viewed Hitler — when viewing the film today.
Heart of America SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL
June 12 - July 1, 2018 TUESDAY - SUNDAY, 8:00 pm FREE LIVE OUTDOOR THEATRE SOUTHMORELAND PARK kcshakes.org THE FESTIVAL THANKS OUR MAJOR SPONSORS: Muriel McBrien Kauffman Foundation / R.C. Kemper Jr. Charitable Trust Dr. Scott and Bernadette Ashcraft / John C. Griswold Foundation / Dr. Blake and Lisa Wendelburg / McMeel Family Foundation / Shirley & Barnett Helzberg Jr. Donor Advisory Fund / DST Systems, Inc. / Peter G. and Elizabeth Torosian Foundation / Edward P. Milbank / Master Craftsmen Foundation / Richard J. Stern Foundation for the Arts Francis Family Foundation / Lathrop & Gage / Robb & Robb LLC Charitable Foundation/Gary C. Robb and Anita Porte Robb Country Club Bank / Curry Family Foundation / Dr. Mark Box / Ingram Family Foundation.
Marilyn Strauss, Founder, Heart of America Shakespeare Festival
On the surface, 1974’s anarchic Blazing Saddles is a ridiculous parody of Western movies, but deeply embedded in its DNA is the notion that the country still had a lot
of work to do when it came to institutionalized racism. Cleavon Little plays Sheriff Bart, who encounters all kinds of blatantly racist attitudes as he and the Waco Kid (Gene Wilder) try to win over the town, but this movie is an equal opportunity offender. Jokes are lobbed at Arabs, Mexicans, Jews, Chinese people, and Native Americans as well, using the dumbest, most clichéd racist portrayals director Mel Brooks could think of. Blazing Saddles makes the whole idea of racism look really, really stupid. In the third act, everything falls apart and, like Deadpool, the actors break the fourth wall, realizing that it’s actually the present day and they have all been acting in a Mel Brooks film called Blazing Saddles.
On a press tour for Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Eric Idle offhandedly joked that the British troupe’s next comedy would be titled Jesus Christ: Lust for Glory. That sparked the idea for what would eventually become the brutally funny 1979 religious satire Monty Python’s Life of Brian. The movie pissed a lot of people off and was immediately banned all over the world. The Swedish marketing campaign, in fact, notoriously mentioned that it was “so funny it was banned in Norway.” Graham Chapman plays a dope named Brian who is mistaken for the Messiah. Brian’s eventual crucifixion to the sunny pop tune “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” is preceded by scene after scene poking fun at the tenets of organized religion. The Pythons insisted that although the movie may be heretical, it wasn’t blasphemous because Brian, at whom most of the barbs are aimed, wasn’t actually the Messiah. And yes, that’s a technicality, for sure. What religious groups everywhere were really angry about was the rampant amount of intolerance, fanaticism, and hypocrisy that was at the film’s core. pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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APPAREL
The 1980s were the peak of low-budget films aimed at teenage audiences. Many of them were benign sex comedies with little else on their minds, but John Hughes and a couple other filmmakers approached the plight of the American teen with sympathy and seriousness. At the tail end of that cycle was 1989’s Heathers, a comedy so vicious that it satirizes the troubling trend of teen suicide by making equal-opportunity fun of every single high-school clique imaginable. It also introduced rebellious anti-hero J.D. (Christian Slater, doing his best Jack Nicholson), who murders the school’s head cheerleader and then tricks his disillusioned girlfriend Veronica (Winona Ryder) into shooting two of its football stars and framing it as a Romeo & Juliet-style suicide pact between gay lovers. Rage seethes through every frame of Heathers. It created its own (still unmatched) post-Valley Girl “fuck you” vocabulary, gave every outsider a healthy amount of wish fulfillment, and still holds the power to shock. There are a lot of other infamous subversive comedies I don’t have room to mention — the Marx brothers’ Duck Soup, Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove, Putney Swope, Altman’s M*A*S*H*, Harold and Maude, anything by John Waters — but I saved the final spot for 1997’s Starship Troopers because it is a sneaky kind of subversive that many people still haven’t caught up with. If you ignore
the overtly fascist ideology and Nazi-like imagery (as most audiences and critics did when it came out), you may see merely a CGI-driven action movie with bad acting and loads of violence. But director Paul Verhoeven (whose Robocop deserves a shout-out here, too) subverts the entire message of the “classic” 1959 Robert Heinlein sci-fi novel it is adapting. His young, enthusiastic cast (including Denise Richards and Neil Patrick Harris) deliver the cheesiest dialogue and are naïvely idealistic to the point of annoyance. In other words, they are perfect grist for the military machine. Verhoeven keeps Heinlein’s ideas intact, but pokes fun at them mercilessly throughout the movie with hilarious mini-propaganda films. One, featuring soldiers giving guns to little kids, is particularly brutal today. Verhoeven also subverts the traditional montage of hard-won military training by including a public flogging (of a white man by a black man, to push even more buttons) and a graphic depiction of “friendly” fire. This all happens before the young graduates fulfill the terms of their citizenship by flying to other planets as part of the infantry, only to get ripped apart by giant bugs. Now that overly jingoistic attitudes are becoming more commonplace and fascist language is on the lips of an alarming number of political leaders worldwide, Starship Troopers is scarily relevant.
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SAVAGE LOVE
Pissed Off PEE-PARTY ETIQUETTE; A MMF SUCCESS STORY; LESBIANS AND HETERO MEN. BY DAN SAVAGE
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM
@thepitchkc
Dear Dan: I like watersports, and I heard about a guy in a rural area who holds piss parties in his backyard. I found a mailing list for those interested in piss play, and it wasn’t long before he posted about one of these parties. People on the list talk a big game, but no one else has stepped up to host something, including me. (I would, but four neighbors look into my backyard.) The host has very simple rules for who can attend: You have to identify as a guy and wear masculine attire. I get to the party, and there were about four guys and the host. I had a good time. The host had plenty of drinks out, towels, chairs, canopies, and candles to ward off the mosquitos. I’ve been back a couple times. Everyone is friendly enough and there’s the right amount of perversion. So what’s the problem? The host. He’s loud and annoying. He insists on putting classical music on (it doesn’t set the mood very well). He tells the same lame jokes every time he’s pissing on someone. He will complain that people say they’re coming and don’t show. If you are having a moment with someone, he will invariably horn in on the action. Without being rude, I’ve tried to make it clear that we are not looking for company, but he doesn’t take the hint. It’s his party, and props to him for hosting it — but it takes the fun out of it when the host doesn’t know when to back off. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s not worth the effort to go. Do I just get over it, or say something privately? ––Person Exasperates Enthusiast Dear PEE: The advice I gave a different reader about dealing with a guest horning in on the action at an orgy applies in your case: “Even kind and decent people can be terrible about taking hints — especially when doing so means getting cut out of a drunken fuckfest. So don’t hint, tell. There’s no rule of etiquette that can paper over the discomfort and awkwardness of that moment, so you’ll just have to power through it.” Swap out “drunken fuckfest” for “drenchin’ piss scene,” and the advice works — up to a point, PEE, because the person in your case who needs telling, not hinting, isn’t one of the guests, he’s the host. (And he sounds like a gracious host. I mean, drinks, towels, and canapés* at a piss party? Swank.) But your host’s behavior sounds genuinely annoying. Hosting a sex party doesn’t give someone the right to insert himself into someone else’s scene, and stupid jokes have the power to kill the mood and murder the boners. So what do you do? Well, you could send your host an e-mail or give him a call. Thank him for the invite, let him know you appreciate the ef-
48
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
fort he goes to (such delicious canapés!), and then tell him why some people say they’re coming and don’t show: You’re too loud, your music is awful, you have a bad habit of horning in on the action, and you need to learn some new jokes to tell when you’re pissing on someone (or, better yet, not tell any jokes at all). But I don’t think ticking off a list of his shortcomings is going to get you anywhere other than crossed off the invite list to future parties. So why not make your own piss party? You don’t need a big backyard — I mean, presumably your place has a tub. Supplement your tub with a couple of kiddie pools on top of some plastic tarp laid down on the living room or basement floor. Ask your guests to keep it in the tub, pool, or on the tarp. You get to choose the guys, you get to select the music, and, as host, you can lay down the law about making jokes and horning in on the action: Both are forbidden, and joke-telling horner-inners will be asked to pull up their pants and leave. One last thought: If you have it in you to invest some time in getting to know this guy — if you treat him like a human being — you might be able to draw him out on something that clearly frustrates him: guys who say they’re coming to the party but don’t show. If he seems genuinely baffled, PEE, that’s your opening to ask if he’d like some constructive feedback. If he says yes, you can very gently run through your list of ways to improve his parties: no jokes, better music, and a “no horning in” rule for all (not just for him). *Yes, I know: There were canopies at the party, not canapés — tents, not hors d’oeuvres. But I read it as canapés at first, and the mental image of piss players daintily eating canapés between scenes was so much more entertaining than the mental image of piss players huddling under canopies that I stuck with my original reading. Dear Dan: I had a MMF threesome with my husband and a man we met on Instagram (of all places)! Everyone had a good time, and there was no awkwardness afterward. I think things went so well because after years of reading Savage Love, we knew to “use our words” and treat our “very special guest star” with respect! Thanks, Dan! ––My Ultimate Fantasy Fulfilled Dear MUFF: You’re welcome, MUFF! Dear Dan: I’m a cis woman and recently came out as a lesbian after identifying as bisexual for three years. After having sexual encounters with men and women, I finally admitted to myself that I am gay. Now that I’m finally out, I don’t want to do anything
that would make me feel like denying it again. My question is, am I a bad lesbian if I sleep with a guy? I’m currently working 50 hours a week and going to school. I don’t have time for a relationship, and finding casual hookups with women is difficult. A male friend I know and trust recently propositioned me. At first I said no, but now I’m rethinking it. Sex with men doesn’t compare at all to sex with women for me. On a scale of 1 to 10, it’s definitely in the below 5 range. But my mind says, “It’s still sex!” and I would enjoy it to a point. But I worry that doing this would call my sexuality into question. I feel like I’d definitely have to hide this from my friends. And if I feel guilty enough to hide it, maybe I shouldn’t do it? Finally identifying as a lesbian was like breathing out for me. I feel way more like myself and am way happier now. But I worry that even being willing to consider this makes me seem bi. I guess I’m looking for permission and absolution. Would this make me a “bad” lesbian? Or would it mean I should identify as bi? ––Girl Asking You Dear GAY: I’ve often been accused of having a pro-dick-sitting bias, GAY, so I decided to recuse myself and pass your question on to a couple of lesbians. “She is way too concerned with labels,” said Lesbian #1. “I used to slip on a dick once every few years — before I quit drinking tequila — and that didn’t make me any less of a raging, homo-romantic dyke. And if her friends give that much of a fuck about who she bones, she needs friends with more interesting hobbies.” “I don’t think there is anything wrong with her or any lesbian wanting to sleep with a guy,” said Lesbian #2. “I wouldn’t sleep with a guy, but I do agree that women trying to casually hook up with other women is much more difficult than men with men or even men with women. Women instantly want to be your long-term partner after one hookup — the U-Haul jokes are fucking real. But if identifying as something is important to her, I think identifying as queer might be a better option for now rather than struggling to figure out if she is only bi or only lesbian and only those forever.” Question for Dan? E-mail him at mail@savagelove.net. On Twitter at @fakedansavage.
pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
49
EVENTS • Voted KC’s Best Gentleman’s Club • Oldest Adult Club in Missouri • 70 Girls • VIP Lounge • Great Place to Watch Sporting Events • Full Service Kitchen • Cover Friday & Saturday ONLY! • Premium Bottle Service
June Events For more events, visit local.pitch.com
30 seconds East of the Power & Light District 2800 East 12th St., Kansas City, MO 64127 816.231.9696 • KcShadyLady.com
JUNE 1
JUNE 3-4
Parquet Courts, The Granada
Grease Sing-along, Alamo Drafthouse
The Reunion Beatles: Fantasy Tribute, The Folly Theater Trace Adkins, Uptown Theater
PATRICK JORDAN
JUNE 1-2 Big Slick Celebrity Weekend, Prairiefire
JUNE 1-3 Kansas City Pride Fest, Berkley Riverfront Park
Ween, Arvest Bank Theatre at the Midland
JUNE 2-31
JUNE 4
Unexpected Encounters, The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art
Daikajiu, with Drop a Grand, Riot Room
JUNE 2
JC The New King of Funk, The Blue Room
Barenaked Ladies, Starlight Theatre
JUNE 5-10
Katy Guillen & The Girls with The 4onthefloor, Knuckleheads
Dirty Dancing, Starlight Theatre
Wornall/Majors House Garden Tour, John Wornall House and Museum
JUNE 3
Girls!Girls!Girls!
Pickleball Palooza for Save, Inc., Chicken N Pickle Playmates and soul mates...
JUNE 6 An Evening with Tom Philpott, Mahaffie Stagecoach Stop and Farm, Olathe
JUNE 7 David Byrne, Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts Har Mar sings Sam Cooke, RecordBar
JUNE 7-9
30 minute Free trial 18+ 816-841-1577 // 913-279-9202 50
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
The Gladstone Comedy Festival, Groundhog Day Theater Kansas City:
816-841-1521
18+ MegaMates.com
EVENTS
JUNE 8
JUNE 12
Celebrate summer on two wheels.
Smoke Out Hunger Barn Party, Wyandotte County Fairgrounds
JUNE 9 Chow Down Downtown, Downtown Overland Park Dierks Bentley, Sprint Center Kansas City Marble Tournament, The National Museum of Toys and Miniatures
First Aid Kit, The Truman
West 18th Street Fashion Show, West 18th Street & Wyandotte
The Coathangers, with Salty, RecordBar
Making Movies Carnaval, Knuckleheads Saloon
JUNE 12-17
JUNE 9-10
Rogers and Hammerstein’s The King and I, Starlight Theatre
INDIVISIBLE with Liberty and Justice for All?, Folly Theater
JUNE 10
JUNE 12-31
KansasCity.BCycle.com | 816.205.7056
Heart of America Shakespeare Festival, Southmoreland Park
Future Stages Festival, Kauffman Center
JUNE 14
Teach Them to Soar, Theis Park
Neal Brennan, The Truman
JUNE 11
The Pitch Golf Tournament, Minor Park Golf Course
U.S. Bombs, Riot Room (outdoor stage) Meg Myers, Riot Room (indoor stage)
The Glenn Miller Orchestra, Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts
c e l e brat i ng
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June 22nd-30th White Concert Hall - Washburn University 1700 SW Jewell Ave, Topeka, KS 66621 One of the premier concert halls in the Midwest
Featuring free nightly concerts with internationally renowned musicians of the highest caliber
CONDUCTED BY
Andrés Cárdenes @SunflowerMF pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
51
EVENTS
June Events For more events, visit local.pitch.com
JUNE 15
JUNE 17
JUNE 23
JUNE 29
Dance Gavin Dance, The Truman
Kansas City, Kansas, Street Blues Festival, Lavender’s Circle L Ranch
Gary Allen, Uptown Theater
Japanese Breakfast, RecordBar
JUNE 18
Buddy Guy, Knuckleheads Saloon
JUNE 23-24
JUNE 21
Jessica Borusky’s 24-Hour Porch Performance, Open House
Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls, The Truman
JUNE 25 Coming to America Movie Party, Alamo Drafthouse
Summer Youth Theater’s Disney’s The Little Mermaid Jr., Lawrence Arts Center
JUNE 26
Third Friday, Downtown Overland Park
JUNE 15-16 Boulevardia, Stockyards District
Lucinda Williams, Steve Earle, and Dwight Yoakam, Starlight Theatre
JUNE 16
The Sea and Cake, The Bottleneck
Diana Krall, Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts
JUNE 22
True Grit, Alamo Drafthouse
Penn and Teller, Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts
Hop Along, with Bat Fangs, Riot Room
52
THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
JUNE 24 Champagne Cinema: Bridesmaids, Alamo Drafthouse
Herb-infused Cocktails Happy Hour, Kansas City Community Gardens
12th Annual Wine Festival, East Valley Park
Maker Faire, Union Station
Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, Starlight Theatre
Dr. Dog, The Truman
Mastodon and Primus, Providence Medical Center Amphitheater
Mind.Body.Soul Session ‘18 Day Retreat, Unity Temple
Tory Lanez, The Truman
JUNE 22-24 Just for Her, Overland Park Convention Center
Russell Dickerson, The Truman
Nelly, with Juvenile, Providence Medical Center Amphitheater The Posies, Riot Room
JUNE 29-30
Kesha and Macklemore, Sprint Center
Middle of the Map, Crown Center Pavillion and other Crossroads venues
Chromeo, with Glitch Mob, Crossroads KC at Grinders
JUNE 29-31
JUNE 27
Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, Starlight Theatre
Chicago and REO Speedwagon, Starlight Theatre
JUNE 30
Trixie Mattel, The Truman
The Rocky Horror Picture Show Movie Party, Alamo Drafthouse
JUNE 28 The Flaming Lips, Uptown Theater
KKFI 30th Anniversary Celebration, Folly Theater
Fashion for a Shop discounts at your favorite boutiques, all in one place. Thursday August 9th • 6–9 p.m. • The Guild
53 Call 816-218-6702 to get your business exposure at this one-of-a-kind event! pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
AUCTION DATE: 7/11/18 MARKETPLACE LOCAL 910
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Foreign Language Teacher-Turkish (Kansas City, MO): Teach Turkish Lang. courses to sec. school students. Bachelors in Turkish Lang or rltd fld + 1 yr exp as Turkish Lang teacher at mid or high sch. Mail res.: Frontier Schools Inc., 30 W Pershing Rd Ste 402 Kansas City, MO 64108, Attn: HR, Refer to Ad#FE
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Liberty Hotel Group LLC has a position for Management Analyst with Master’s degree in Business Admin, Engg (any), Tech or rld to plan study of wrk problems & procedures, such as organizational change, communications, info flow, integrated production methods, inventory control/ cost analysis. Dvlp Business Dvlpmnt Strategy &Plan to generate leads & secure new business opportunities.Assist dvlpmnt & implmntn of tools that support the diagnostics reqd to perform revenue mngmnt services. Attend Sales & Marketing meetings & offer input. Provide statistical info to Exec team members at the property. Dvlp overall research plan, cluster analysis, conjoint analysis; multidimensional scaling & use the findings to make a business plan. Wrk loc is Liberty, MO with reqd Trvl to liberty group prop across US. Please mail resumes to 115 Blue Jay Dr, Suite 101, Liberty, MO 64068 (or) email: career@lhghotels.com
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Piano, Voice, and Guitar lessons
Available from professional musician and instructor. Instructor teaches in a fun and meaningful context from ages 4 to the young at heart. Sessions are ½ hour and 1 hour. Students who sign up before June 30th will receive $5 off For more info Please call/text Kathleen 913-206-2151 or Email: klmamuric@yahoo.com
WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interest. Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, CO 80201
GRASS FED BEEF FOR SALE Better Beef! Healthier Family! All Natural! LOCAL! 913-757-3997 913-522-7906
1/2 month off special 1 bed. | 1314 SQ. FT. $1375 available Jan. 5th 2 bed. 2 bath | 1477 SQ. FT. $1515
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54
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THE PITCH | JUNE 2018 | pitch.com
Lic.# 001567
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The following vehicles will be sold at public auction on Wednesday, July 11th, 2018 unless claimed by owner and all tow and storage charges are paid in full. For information, please contact Insurance Auto Auction at 913-422-9303. YR MAKE/MODEL
7000
4000
Classifieds
WEATHER PERMITTING
901-233-4496
VIN#
YR MAKE/MODEL
VIN#
2011 NISSAN ROGUE
JN8AS5MV3BW260771
2007 CHEVROLET IMPALA
2006 FORD TAURUS
1FAFP53U66A153279
2003 CHEVROLET S10 PICKUP
1GCDT13XX3K178014
2015 TRIUMPH SCRAMBLER
SMT925RNXFT701697
2011 NISSAN ALTIMA
1N4AL2AP2BN429543
2003 MAZDA MPV
JM3LW28J030376424
1998 NISSAN MAXIMA
JN1CA21D6WM931324
2013 HYUNDAI ACCENT
KMHCT4AE2DU420164
2001 PONTIAC GRAND AM
1G2NE52TX1M558657
2008 PONTIAC TORRENT
2CKDL33F486014411
1999 LEXUS RX
JT6HF10U6X0007160
2013 KIA RIO
KNADM4A34D6176068
2001 CHEVROLET CAMARO
2G1FP22K712134836
1995 JEEP CHEROKEE
1J4FN68S5SL565599
2001 FORD WINDSTAR
2FMDA50461BA80334
2004 HONDA CIVIC
2HGES26714H622139
2005 PONTIAC BONNEVILLE
1G2HZ54Y75U153436
2001 LEXUS IS
JTHBD182610011948
2014 MINI COOPER
WMWZC5C59EWP41431
2018 GENUINE SCOOTER CO ROUGHHOUSE
RFVPBP208J1014447
2011 GMC TERRAIN
2CTFLUE56B6263251
2002 HONDA CIVIC
SHHEP33562U306374
2010 CHRYSLER TOWN&COUNTRY
2A4RR5DX5AR253642
2011 MAZDA 3
JM1BL1VF4B1460682
1993 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS SUPREME
1G3WT34X3PD327859
2012 JEEP COMPASS
1C4NJCBB0CD636353
1999 HONDA ACCORD
JHMCG564XXC013801
2010 JEEP PATRIOT
1J4NT2GA1AD513284
1999 AUDI A4
WAUCB28D4XA328498
2006 CHRYSLER PT CRUISER
3A4FY58B16T370871
2016 FORD FUSION
3FA6P0H70GR361686
2016 HYUNDAI SONATA
5NPE24AF3GH264787
2003 HYUNDAI SANTA FE
KM8SB12BX3U361946
2007 TOYOTA PRIUS
JTDKB20U177683880
2003 FORD ECONOLINE
1FTSE34F03HB45250
2003 BUICK CENTURY
2G4WS52J931120486
1989 OLDSMOBILE 98
1G3CX54C3K1309114
2008 MERCEDES-BENZ C
WDDGF54X68F120739
1992 SATURN SL1
1G8ZH5490NZ102806
2012 DODGE AVENGER
1C3CDZCB3CN198510
2008 PONTIAC G6
1G2ZF57B884155396
2006 CHRYSLER 300
2C3KA53G56H404349
2004 GMC TERRAIN
1GTEC19V54Z235755
2000 FOREST RIVER CEDAR CREEK
4X4TCRF28YP181329
1999 FORD ECONOLINE
1FBSS31S6XHA14750
2001 MERCURY SABLE
1MEFM50U81G625039
2008 CHEVROLET UPLANDER
1GNDV23W48D134388
2005 TOYOTA ECHO
JTDAT123250377767
2000 DODGE DURANGO
1B4HS28Z4YF179340
2000 FORD ECONOLINE
1FTNS2424YHB05645
2000 FABRIQUE UTILITY TRAILER
3CVU6081X82126380
2006 CHEVROLET IMPALA
2G1WC581269198602
2008 GMC SIERRA
2GTEK638281160207
2003 NISSAN ALTIMA
1N4AL11E93C315691
2006 CHRYSLER 300
2C3KA43R86H307660
2012 AUDI Q5
WA1LFAFP1CA050467
2009 CHEVROLET IMPALA
2G1WU57M491267480
1998 ACURA 3.2TL
JH4UA3649WC008520
2012 BUICK VERANO
1G4PR5SK8C4134683
2012 FORD EXPLORER
1FMHK8F80CGA16053
2008 DODGE GRAND CARAVAN
1D8HN54P58B177394
1998 CHEVROLET S10 PICKUP
1GCCS19X2W8132135
2007 HONDA CIVIC
2HGFG12667H540943
2006 FORD F150
1FTPX14V86KE02917
2011 BMW 535
WBAFU7C59BC873162
2001 FORD ESCORT
3FAFP11341R235593
2002 CHEVROLET AVALANCHE
3GNEK13T62G278709
2G1WT58K979363782
1986 MERCURY GRAND MARQUIS
2MEBP95F0GX619780
2016 MAZDA 3
JM1BM1X31G1311489
2000 CHEVROLET TAHOE
1GNEC13T4YJ161991
2007 CHEVROLET TRAILBLAZER
1GNDS13S572120865
2017 INTERNATIONAL 4000
3HAMMMMN2HL280257
2008 NISSAN VERSA
3N1BC13E48L403977
2016 HYUNDAI SONATA
5NPE24AF2GH271584
2007 ACURA MDX
2HNYD28237H527118
1996 TOYOTA COROLLA
2T1BB02E8TC178129
2015 KIA SOUL
KNDJN2A23F7813320
2005 TOYOTA TUNDRA
5TBRT34195S469801
2015 FORD FIESTA
3FADP4EJXFM172876
2011 HYUNDAI SONATA
5NPEC4AC2BH000746
1998 SUBARU LEGACY
4S3BG6853W7602320
1995 PRESTIGE BOAT TRAILER
1JHBS1911SC000845
2007 TOYOTA TACOMA
5TEUU42N27Z323790
2003 LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER
SALME11423A118343
2009 NISSAN MAXIMA
1N4AA51E19C808383
2010 DODGE GRAND CARAVAN
2D4RN5D16AR458810
1998 TOYOTA CAMRY
4T1BF28K7WU073534
2011 MAZDA 2
JM1DE1HY6B0128250
2013 KIA FORTE
KNAFU4A22D5666868
2006 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE
1J4HR58N06C154893
2007 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE
4A3AK24F47E021615
2003 FORD EXPEDITION
1FMFU18L03LA82894
2014 NISSAN ALTIMA
1N4AL3AP3EN258974
2013 HONDA CIVIC
19XFB2F84DE038292
2015 CHRYSLER 200
1C3CCCBB6FN675078
2005 CHEVROLET AVALANCHE
3GNEK12Z65G236146
1993 TOYOTA CAMRY
4T1SK12E2PU178654
2008 HONDA CIVIC
2HGFG12648H510020
1998 TOYOTA 4RUNNER
JT3HN87R6W0136881
1997 FORD ECONOLINE
1FTHS24L3VHC13708
2012 CHRYSLER TOWN&COUNTRY
2C4RC1BG8CR286558
2005 CHEVROLET EQUINOX
2CNDL73F756160078
2013 CHEVROLET SILVERADO
1GC4K1C81DF238235
2015 CHEVROLET IMPALA
1G11Z5SL5FU100751
1999 DODGE DAKOTA
1B7GL22Z4XS120198
2008 LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER
SALMF15448A285284
2009 HYUNDAI ELANTRA
KMHDU46D09U679647
1998 CHEVROLET CAVALIER
1G1JF52T1W7101998
2011 TOYOTA COROLLA
2T1BU4EE1BC717945
1997 CHRYSLER SEBRING
4C3AU52NXVE02324
2011 INFINITI QX56
JN8AZ2NC1B9300593
2007 DODGE RAM 1500
1D7HU18227S108689
2000 TOYOTA SIENNA
4T3ZF13C3YU316355
2007 MITSUBISHI GALANT
4A3AB36F77E080161
2010 KIA SEDONA
KNDMH4C30A6343719
2016 CHEVROLET IMPALA
2G1WB5E39G1101680
Many of these vehicles run and drive. If you are looking for cheap transportation, don’t miss this auction/sale. We welcome all buyers. Terms of auction: All sales are “as is” “where is”. No guarantees or warranties. Paper work to obtain new title will be $75.00 Per vehicle. No guarantee that paperwork will produce title.Bidding will be number only. Terms are cash or certified check. Vehicles must be paid for in full at end of auction. No exceptions. All sales are final. No returns.
INSURANCE AUTO AUCTION 2663 SOUTH 88TH ST. KCKS, 66111 913-422-9303
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Central Air Conditioning
Beauty Salon & Large Community Room
Patios/Balconies
Fitness Center
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or online www.CrOwdsysteMs.COM pitch.com | JUNE 2018 | THE PITCH
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LITTLE DRAGON SPECIAL GUEST: VIC MENSA
BUSH JULY 6
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Tickets available at VooDooKC.com or Ticketmaster.com/voodookc or by phone at 1-800-745-3000. Located minutes from Downtown Kansas City. Unlimited Free Parking. All shows are 18 & up.
Know When To Stop Before You Start.® Gambling Problem? Call 1-888-BETSOFF. Subject to change or cancellation. Phone and online orders are subject to service fees. Must be 21 years or older to gamble, obtain a Total Rewards® card or enter VooDoo®. ©2018, Caesars License Company, LLC.