4 minute read
Keep Them Coming
Keep Them Coming
WHERE HAVE ALL THE LESBIAN BARS GONE?
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By Kristen Thomas
It pains me when lesbians who are new to Kansas City ask me: What’s a good lesbian bar in town?
The unfortunate answer is: There are none.
There are about two dozen LGBTQIA+ bars and restaurants in the metro, but there is no longer a dedicated gathering space for queer women.
Gay and lesbian bars have historically been hangouts that helped alleviate the worry of being threatened or assaulted in a public space. As seen in many recent events, it’s still not entirely safe everywhere for LGBTQIA+ folks to openly approach people they might be interested in, let alone exist. It’s understandable that the community wants more environments where they can feel protected while being their authentic selves.
Despite the lack of lesbian social spaces, KC actually has a rich queer history. The 18th & Vine District attracted famous lesbian and bisexual artists like Ma Rainey. Tiny Davis, whose musical talent on the trumpet rivaled Louis Armstrong, was run out of town because she was a lesbian.
Between the 1970s and 2000s, queer women had fewer choices than cis gay men, but at least they still had places to go. Billie Jean’s, Sappho’s, and Soakie’s were hoppin’ back in the day. Tootsie’s moved three times before it closed in 2010. Wetherbee’s was a lesbian pool hall north of the river that hung on until 2011.
The fault doesn’t lie entirely with the proprietors of the businesses. I saw a TikTok last year pointing out that there are only 27 lesbian bars left in the entire U.S., compared to the roughly 200 establishments in the 1980s. Why are they going extinct?
One of the greatest impacts is that singles no longer rely on bars to meet like-minded people. Digital dating has shifted our behavior. A Stanford study found in 2016 that 65% of queer couples met online. Only 9% of women say they met their current partner at a bar.
There has also been a general decline in bars in the U.S., with the pandemic having a share of the blame. Bars centered around gay men are closing as well, but not at the rate of lesbian establishments. The Lesbian Bar Project suggested that gay bars have staying power because men have more disposable income in our society, especially when they are childless.
The pay disparity is such that queer women and people assigned female at birth (AFAB) earn 79 cents on the dollar compared to the average cis man in the U.S., according to an April 2023 report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Add any form of intersecting marginalized identity on top of that (e.g. Black and bisexual or Latinx and lesbian), and the disparity widens.
In 2001, Pitch reporter Deborah Hipp wrote this about Tootsies: “Lesbians risk being killed, losing their jobs, and losing custody of their children simply for being gay. Bars like Tootsie’s have always served as a refuge from social discrimination.”
Making the argument that queer people are, in general, safer now than in 2001 when Hipp penned that sentiment is short-sighted. With Kansas and Missouri vying for a spot at the top of the list of “Worst States To Live If You Are LGBTQ+,” more safe spaces are indeed needed.
The Lesbian Bar Project seeks to support the lesbian bars remaining and to revive the industry through awareness and conversation.
Gwen Shockey of TLBP says, “When one doesn’t have a sense of history or belonging in our society, it can feel incredibly dislocating.”
You can find Kristen @OpenTheDoorsKC on Twitter or openthedoorscoaching com. Check out her podcast Keep Them Coming.
