J Haleem Washington

By: Chandra Gore

For Men’s health month we spoke to J Haleem Washington about how we can change the narrative around Men and their views on health. He shared with me what needs to happen for more men to be focused on health and how imperative it is that we change the mindset.

Black men should be focused on their health because nobody else is. At this particular juncture, there are so many things out there that are impacting our health from the food we eat, the stress we endure, mental health issues walking around with PTSD, and coming from prison growing up in druginfested, inner-city communities. Black men are deteriorating at an alarming rate. Now, if we want to be the pillars of our community, to be the fathers that we are supposed to be, the husbands we are supposed to be, the protectors we are supposed to be and in order for us to be as sharp as we need to be, this starts with our health. I think that knowledge about what is actually good health is way more important than the health itself. The reason I say this is because black men have been taken advantage of by the healthcare system. We stayed away from getting knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of health. There were a lot of theories, a lot of thoughts and practices, and a lot of underground thoughts and practices. Nobody actually had any real medical data saying, this is what you should do to be okay. We are all from different religions, different neighborhoods, and different parts of the world or the country and everyone has different ways of what they think is acceptable, good health. Nothing is concrete, especially in the black community. Historically, Black men do not trust the medical community. So, it's important that we gain the knowledge and know real information and not only theories of what good health looks like. Once we acquire that knowledge, go super, super hard at being as healthy as we can possibly be, for as long as we can possibly be.

Should Therapy Be A part of Healing?

Yes. I do believe that this should be the case, especially in the black community. When I was growing up, in my age group, this wasn’t pushed on us. We weren’t encouraged to participate in therapy. I heard such things as; it'll work itself out. However, as I've grown, I’ve found out that that is not true, talking to somebody definitely helps. In the Black community, we tend to lean heavily on the pastor and the church, but there are also a lot of medical individuals that we need to go and see. For example, physical therapy. We shouldn’t make a visit to a clinic when something’s wrong with us. We could go and just get more information about aging and proper nutrition. You can help yourself sometimes by going to a masseuse on a semi-regular basis or going to a chiropractor every other year and just taking a look at yourself. Mental health therapy is definitely needed, especially as it pertains to the dynamics of black families and our upbringing. We definitely need to be able to unload. A lot of times we leave it to life to fix itself or we hope that we get some type of art or some way to express ourselves. Most people don't find that thing to use to express themselves. Me? I found my creativity in books, but I didn't start writing books until I was 38. Prior to that time, what did I have? So, I think that we should focus on therapy a whole lot more.

How did you cope with being a convicted felon?

At first, I didn't understand what it meant. I was still young. I was still in school; I literally had another year of college to go to, and I didn't really know until I graduated college. And then when I graduated college and I went out to apply for jobs, I couldn't even get the jobs that I was overqualified for. Well, actually, I did get a job. I was hired for three jobs back-toback, and they let me go because of my background. That's when it became real. Another thing that happened is that I spent a lot of time, not being fully myself, and being around individuals who I did not have to talk about my background. I had to tread lightly because I never knew where it could lead. I couldn't participate in certain scenarios or be around certain people. I knew I wasn't going to ever be able to be in a corporate setting. So, I had to really learn all over again, how to function in a legit manner, but still fly under the radar. I had to do that for a long time and that was tough. So, ultimately learning how to fly under the radar, not draw too much attention to myself, as well as trying to grow as an entrepreneur that’s how I learned to cope with being a convicted felon.

What was the catalyst that led you to entrepreneurship?

I was always interested in entrepreneurship. Even when I was young, I played around in entrepreneurship. However, I also went to college and when you go to college, you're trained to go get a job. And when I came out as a convicted felon and couldn't get the job, I fell back on entrepreneurship, full-time. I was happy and grateful that I had that as an option for me because I have had my bouts with entrepreneurship since I was 19. So, I knew it was something that I could do. It was an option. So that's what pushed me into entrepreneurship full time, knowing that I wasn't able to go ahead and get a job that my degree warranted. I made the choice to go ahead and make my own path.

What do you feel can be done to change what convicted felons are perceived as?

Everything is about knowledge. A lot of times people start to judge you by the fact that you have a background, and they don't even know who you are. They don't know what your circumstances were. They don't know how old you were when you committed a crime. A lot of times, they don't even know what your crime is. They just know that you are a convicted felon and automatically, you're treated differently. That has happened to me multiple times over the course of my adult life. It can even happen with those who are close to you, family, friends, loved ones. And as soon as they hear that you're a felon, everything else goes out of the window, they don't want to get the knowledge and an understanding of what happened, or what led to you making that one bad decision. Sometimes it is one bad decision that can affect the rest of your life. We’ ve all made bad decisions, it’s just that some people have not been caught. At the end of the day, the number one thing is understanding. A lot of people just don’t know what the circumstance is or what leads to the person being a convicted felon. I believe that if they actually knew, even with jobs and a person is brought in for an interview, and the interviewer has a conversation to ask the question – the interviewee may actually have a shot at getting the job, versus an individual seeing that someone is a felon on a paper and never bringing them in and giving them a chance to detail the circumstance that leads to the charge.

Will you share with readers the decisions that caused your conviction?

The circumstances or decisions that led to my conviction, were my lifestyle. I grew up in Newark, New Jersey – in a house with eight drug addicts addicted to heroin and crack cocaine. And in my neighborhood, the people that did well were the drug dealers and I grew up to be no different. At an early age, I played both sides and lived a double life. I was very good in school and played basketball, but I sold drugs after school, and I did this until college. Living this type of lifestyle caught up with me. So, I came to Benedict College, South Carolina, leaving New Jersey. So, I basically picked up where I left off. It wasn’t until I was facing 10 years in prison for everything to sink in. Up until that point, I had only received slaps on the wrist and got other opportunities to come out and do more. Facing 10 years in prison and being in a position where I possibly wouldn’t be able to graduate school, caused me to wake up, that’s when it really sank in.

Describe with one word, how it felt to be pardoned, relief.

How were you able to serve your 18-years from home?

The last three years of college after I was arrested, I fought the whole time. I hustled. I did everything I could to keep myself from going to prison when I graduated college. Right before my senior year, I went to court and became a felon. I was working, showing them that I had good grades knowing that I was in my senior year at college, and the fact that my felony charge came as a result of me getting money, as opposed to me hurting somebody. We were able to show that it would be better off for me to stay home and finish my degree. I was able to produce a good amount of money, and they put together a plan, a financial plan, for me to pay off my debt in five years, which I was able to pay off in 18 months. Again, after going directly into entrepreneurship, it was tough. I had to live under the radar for these 18 years. I decided not to go certain places or do certain things or pursue certain career choices or opportunities, even in entrepreneurship, knowing that I might be background checked. I was flat out denied for a lot of opportunities that I thought I probably shouldn't have been background-checked for. Treading lightly on everything you do, always knowing that that was at the forefront or in the back of your mind, whenever you're trying to do something as small as a volunteer to coach basketball for my son's county basketball league. It requires a background check. So, it was a possibility that checking and seeing that you have a felony on your record, that you won't get the opportunity to even volunteer. So, for the last 18 years, it's been me trying to live that double life, still being in a space where I stay cognizant of where I am. I tread lightly when I come in certain places knowing me having a background is going to be frowned upon. Sometimes I would come in and leave, leave fast, or not come to be around certain people or circumstances at all, to make sure that I feel comfortable and safe. So, the last 18 years I have been more so still trying to straddle the fence between me, the regular person, and me, the convicted felon.

BIO:

Jamar “J Haleem” Washington is an author, nationally-published and award-winning corporate and commercial photographer, serial entrepreneur, business coach, motivational speaker, and corporate trainer. J Haleem was born and raised in Newark, New Jersey where his interest in being an entrepreneur was birthed. While in college, J Haleem became a convicted felon. Because of his challenged background, he was never able to get the corporate job his degree warranted, even though he graduated with honors. It was at that moment that he chose entrepreneurship to be the platform on which he would establish himself. Now, with more than 20 years of experience as an entrepreneur; his 501c3 organization, I Won’t Starve Academy provides education and training for entrepreneurs and career development focused on creating successful entrepreneurs.