MINDFUL
GUIDED BY BIET
Meditation teacher Biet Simkin answers Purist readers’ questions. Dear Biet, How do you balance mental health and a toddler? Another question is: How do you manage a relationship/ marriage with a toddler?! Marla, East Hampton, New York
Dear Biet, I just lost my father to COVID and my sister to drug addiction in the same year. I am struggling to find meaning in life. What do you recommend? Branda, Harlem NYC
Dear Marla, Oh man! This is a tough one. Honestly, having a kid is the hardest thing I have ever done and the challenge that it presents to a marriage is even more of a pickle. Like: Where are the date nights, please?! However, I will say that becoming a spiritual ninja helps. I think being a spiritual ninja is important for all people, but if you want to be a great mom to a toddler and a great wife to your partner, you need to put your spiritual life first! So what does that mean? It means take mini micro-breaths and meditation pauses all through the day, even if it’s only for seven minutes. Do it as often as you can or when you feel stressed. Move your body. Don’t cause your body extra harm by taking in crap like coffee or fast food to soothe. Instead, fuel yourself so you are at your max capacity physically. Love your partner. Remember that they are king (or queen) and treat them as such. Hope this helps! Love, Biet
Dear Branda, There is no meaning to life other than the meaning we give it. I hear you and feel your pain. I would say the secret is: Pain is a gift. Our heart breaks open, we see things differently, we become super. Supermen and superwomen. These deaths were not in vain. Take each one and make them a window through which to jump into your destiny. We are all dying, really...from the moment we are born. It’s similar to a shooting star whose embers leave a trail: The beauty is meant to be ephemeral, but also gut-wrenchingly painful. Don’t try to change it. Just feel it! Love you! Biet
Dear Biet, I feel driven to reach enlightenment but I still care about looking good, being thin and continuing to make lots of money. Do you think I am a hypocrite? You seem to effortlessly and guiltlessly pursue both worlds. How can I do it? Love, Claire, Newport Beach, California
Dear Melissa, The beast seems real—I get it! The thing I would suggest is to get out of the fight. There is no fight. Don’t say no to things. No always comes back for a beating. Don’t say no to coffee. Don’t say no to pasta. Don’t say no to anything! Just say yes to what works. Like for me, matcha works, so I say yes to matcha. I don’t harp on the terribles of coffee; I just don’t drink it. I say yes to very little pasta today, and when I do have pasta, I try to go gluten-free. I don’t say no to pasta; I just rarely eat it. I say yes to dark chocolate today. I don’t say no to pastries, I don’t say no to cake. I just rarely touch it. It’s not emotional. I had to find a middle path with this stuff. The secret is don’t say no! Never restrict. Just say yes to your body and your health, and the rest is so easy! I will also be writing a book on this topic likely before I die, so please stay close. I will share my secrets! Love, Biet bietsimkin.com
Claire, My love, you are not a hypocrite! In fact, you are just being honest. The truth is that, in fact, most people want both but they either settle for being skinny and rich...or they settle for being “enlightened,” but maybe they’re heavier than they like, and they’re poorer than they would prefer. It takes great cosmic balls to do both and I celebrate you. Go celebrate yourself. The secret is to do both—like your life depends on it. Put spirituality first, but never forget that the two must be tended to like a garden, as one is the 3D space and the other is invisible. Love, Biet
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Dear Biet, I have always dreamed of giving up bad habits like coffee, drinking, and eating pasta and sugar. Do you have a method that can solve this never-ending return to the belly of the beast? Thanks! Melissa, Greenwich, Connecticut
