BeautY
beyond the
binary Part 2
Lee Chumack | Age: 27
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? A: Having a non-binary identity, to me, is just the way things have always been. I remember thinking, as a kid, that it was so interesting (and a little bit confusing) how most people performed gender in such specific, binary ways. Until I started exploring things for myself, it never occurred to me that anyone would actually, strongly identify as male or female. I always assumed that everyone struggled to conform just as much as I did, but they were just more successful at it than me.
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? A: On the one hand, acknowledging and owning a non-binary identity means feeling complete. On the other hand, having a non-binary identity means invisibility and it also means anxiety about people’s opinions of that identity. I think in the popular trans narrative, non-binary identities aren’t part of that conversation. Everyone else wants trans people to follow the binary. However, lots of trans people don’t exist in that binary. We never have, even if some of us pretended to for awhile. That’s uncomfortable to some people, so having this identity and openly speaking about it with everyone I know can be hard for me. It’s hard because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable but it’s so much more painful to hide my true self from them.
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them/Their Lives in Quincy, Mass.
Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: That non-binary people always have a nonbinary (or androgynous) appearance. Shout out to the non-androgynous non-binary folks—I know you’re out there. That if a non-binary person were in the room, they would have made themselves known. It’s a strange feeling to be non-binary in a space where everyone continues to talk about non-binary people in hypothetical terms. Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? A: By relaxing expectations and requirements surrounding gender. Gender non-conformity is really a response to the societal pressure towards gender conformity. To become more inclusive, all anyone (or any group) really has to do is loosen their rigid hold on the binary. Sometimes people are not what you expect, and that’s okay! Oh, and for crying out loud, stop arguing about proper grammar and use of the singular “they.” It’s allowed ...
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them/Their Lives in Boston, Mass.
Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: I notice that people often try to neatly fit me into a label or box. I am not a square. My lines are not neat, and neither are the lines of the people who are trying to squeeze me in there. I’m guilty of trying to fit myself into a box too! I think we should all [be] allowed to be fluid. Claiming identities can be so freeing and yet adhering to those identities without fluidity is extremely limiting.
CHeck out more answers for beauty beyond the binary on
page 14
Daniel Alroy | Age: 40
Preferred Pronouns: He/Him/His; They/Them/Their Lives in Somerville, Mass. Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? A: It means being free of the shackles of a gendered identity. It gives me the freedom to be me, and not having to fulfill culturally projected expectations of who I should be. It means that my feelings, emotions, likes and dislikes, choices, etc., are simply about me, and not written off as an expression of the world’s gendered expectations. It’s about being given an opportunity to represent myself, and not having the perception of my gender lead people’s opinion about who I am. Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: I think the most frustrating misconception about people who identify as non-binary is that they are doing it simply to be transgressive. This is so invalidating. It is a refusal to explore or accept the depth of a person’s identity and minimizing their experience to a mere political expression ... I think it is incredibly self-limiting. Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? A: [B]efore we think about how society can be more inclusive we need to start the pattern of inclusivity internally, exploring our perception of ourselves. I think this starts with being brave and accepting who we are, accepting how our world has shaped our perception of gender, acknowledging it and then letting go of paradigm and moving forward with clear compassionate eyes in how we view ourselves. And then, from this place, we can individually look out and be more inclusive of the people around us ...
In part two of this series, The Rainbow Times explores non-binary identities and the courageous contention that beauty cannot be limited to traditional binary, cisgender, heteronormative standards. Photos: Alex Mancini/TRT Photographer
Jamie Bartholomay | Age: 29
Always
Be Your Kind of Beautiful!
Hallima Docmanov | Age: 22
Preferred Pronouns: Whatever I feel like when I wake up in the morning Lives in Boston, Mass. Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? A: I think my non-binary identity is [a] representation of all my identities that I encompass. I never seem to completely fit in with any one identity and in many ways they contradict one another in the eyes of today’s society. That being Queer, Muslim, Black, Somali American, I have never felt that my identity fit into a neat little box like it should have and, frankly, I have given up trying to fit into all together. Therefore, coming into my non-binary identity allowed me a freedom that I have been always searching for. That honestly, I am neither a girl or a boy all together. Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: The idea that non-binary people cannot be femme or masculine presenting.
Mattia Maurée | Age: 28
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them/Their Lives in Somerville, Mass. Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? A: It means that I’ve never quite fit into the “male” or “female” binary buckets, and when I learned there was another set of options I said “yes, this is it! This is me.” It means that when people recognized that, and when they use my pronouns, I feel more accepted and seen than I have in a long time. Q: What is one common misconception about
Alison Sarah Tippett | Age: 22
Kimm Topping | Age: 23
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? A: For me, finding the term non-binary was really comforting. I spent years explaining my identity as “not a woman,” but I also didn’t feel that I was a man. I threw around the word “genderqueer” for a long time, as it felt like it contained all of the uncertainty and indefinition I was feeling. But non-binary encompasses not only how I identify, but also how I feel and how I live my life. Not only am I not a woman or a man, I don’t accept those as categories that I could even be placed into. I don’t feel like those categories are as stable or secure as the majority of the world takes them to be.
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? A: I identify as genderfluid. For me, that means that I experience and express my gender in many different ways. It’s both an internal sense of myself and also what I show the world.
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them/Their Lives in Newton, Mass.
Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: Something that I’ve seen a lot lately, especially on social media, is this acceptance of non-binary people as masculine-presenting individuals who were assigned female at birth (AFAB). non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: That gender and presentation are the same, that all femininity is female, and that only thin, white masculinity is androgynous. Any body type, any presentation, any color can be androgynous. And there are non-binary femmes! Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? A: Start moving away from binary language (“ladies and gentlemen”), gendered bathrooms, gendered ways of talking about bodies/periods/ birth/genitalia. Stop forcing gender on kids. Think about the way your language sounds to someone who is not included in it. Get our pronouns right!
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them/Their Lives in Cambridge, Mass.
Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: That they have to look or act a certain way. People read me as feminine, or as a woman, one-hundred percent of the time. Outward appearance doesn’t always match up with people’s expectations of gender expression. Gender is much more complicated than that, and I’d want to dispel the idea that we can read a person’s gender identity by looking at them. Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? A: Society can be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people by first accepting the many expressions and experiences of gender. Gender is a personal experience, and shouldn’t be monitored or judged by others. Larger social policies, like public accommodations, gender neutral restrooms, and access to health care are slowly gaining more attention and allowing for greater freedoms. Individual acts, like using gender inclusive language and respecting folks’ pronouns, can also create a safer, more inclusive environment for gender non-conforming folks.
For additional interviews and photos, visit http://alex-mancini.wixsite.com/genderseries