BeautY
beyond the
binary
Tuesday, October 11 is National Coming Out Day, a time for members of the LGBTQ community to embrace their identities and, most importantly, show love, compassion, and empathy towards each other.
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them & sometimes, She/Her Lives in Medford, Mass. Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? For me, my non-binary identity is both personal and political. I do not personally identify within a binary construction of gender, where everyone must be one gender or the other. I also believe that visibility as a non-binary person and talking about the reality that not everyone is a woman or a man, or that some people may be both, is a political act of resistance against gender, binarism, and colonialism. Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? Non-binary people may, or may not, transition medically, surgically, socially, etc. I think those are both misconceptions, that non-binary people never transition medically, and that non-binary people always transition medically. Neither is true. Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? ... By diminishing, or ideally ceasing, enforcement of gender conformance. Gender conformance doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens because people reward expected gendered behavior and appearance and punish unexpected gendered behavior and appearance. It happens every time anyone tells a girl (whether she’s cisgender or trans) that having any facial or body hair is un-girl-like. It happens every time anyone tells a boy (whether he’s cisgender or trans) that painting his nails is un-boy-like ...
Andy DeStefano | Age: 27 Preferred Pronouns: He/Him/His Lives in Somerville, Mass.
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? Growing up, I always felt like I identified as masculine, but transgender and non-binary weren’t ideas I was really familiar with. Even though today I prefer him/his pronouns, in a lot of ways I am [the] same person that I’ve always been, I just use different words to describe the same person. If anything, I am a more authentic version of myself now that I can be more open with the people I know. Currently, I’m even in the process of finding what works best for me. I think having a gender identity outside of what is considered “the norm” helps to spread awareness and make others feel less alone. It has been reported that non-binary people attempt suicide at a higher rate, even than the already ridiculously high rate for trans people in general. This is likely connected to the challenges we face for falling outside “the norm” and the lack of knowledge the general public has about non-binary people. It’s hard to live in a world where you feel you don’t exist or matter and you are punished, silenced, or criticized for making yourself visible. Even though it can sometimes be hard, I’m happy to be part of the dialogue to break these standards and norms, hopefully so future kids who feel similarly to how I did growing up don’t feel isolated or insecure with how they feel.
Elizabeth Sanchez | Age: 24 Preferred Pronouns: She/Her/They Lives in Boston, Mass.
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? It means that I have the freedom to express myself in whichever way I want without the confines of social constructs. Freeing myself from what everyone else recommends I look like just so that they can feel comfortable has been one of the best things I could have done for myself, including for my self-care. Plus, I’m pretty sure I look better this way. Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? Maybe that we’re contagious or something? People are so concerned about our visibility because they’re afraid that they will all of sudden live in a world where everything they have grown up believing to be true can be questioned or no longer exist. Our visibility is thought of as a threat, but really it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about resisting the oppression of any being, and about not having to hide in order to live just like those who feel comfortable with the binary get to do. People will always be afraid of what they don’t know, so we just have to keep being visible, teaching, and learning. Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? Universal gender neutral bathrooms is probably a good tangible start. Visibility in all media, and not just one show on Netflix. I think even being able to talk out loud about gender nonconforming people would be an essential step to understanding.
CHeck out even more answers on beauty beyond the binary on page 18
Photos: Alex Mancini/TRT Photographer
Andi K. | Age: 32
In this three-part series, The Rainbow Times will explore transgender and non-binary identities. This series highlights the courageous contention that beauty cannot be limited to binary identities and traditional, cisgender, heteronormative standards.
eugene massey | Age: 23 Preferred Pronouns: Flexible Lives in Somerville, Mass.
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? For me, a non-binary identity means that I am refusing to limit how I conceptualize my gender and allowing my gender to be messy and prismatic. Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? The concept of non-binary can be expansive and does not look like a single gender presentation or identity. It can include a huge variety of descriptor words and self-conceptualizations. Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? A: I would love to see greater openness around gender in the workplace and “professionalism.” So expanding what our society considers to be work appropriate ways of dressing and identifying ourselves.
Gabrielle “Gabi” Miranda Morgan | Age: 60
Jac mestel | Age: 29
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? It’s funny, there seems to be so many new identifiers for people. I just knew that when I was younger I was absolutely different on the inside than how I looked and presented on the outside. While I was able to act out the male part for 59 years, I finally had to be honest with myself and be who I always truly knew I should be. For the first time ever, I am sincerely happy.
Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? Having a non-binary identity to me means that you grow up feeling very different and not quite feeling like you belong in mainstream society, but not really understanding why until you’ve done a lot of soul searching. For me, being non-binary means feeling like you have various characteristics from both genders. I feel like since I grew up being socialized as female and not male, I am perhaps more in touch with my own emotions than cis-gendered males, but I identify as feeling more masculine and am currently exploring my masculinity in terms of how I socialize and how I physically identify with my own body. I think we all grow up with certain expectations put on us by society. But being non-binary, there is a sort of rejection of those societal expectations and instead a search for the truth about who you are as a human being and why your insides don’t necessarily match your outside. And that means identifying inner traits and outward physical attributes from both genders in the combination that fits you without the perceptions and assumptions placed on you by society. It can be a super confusing, yet soulful and vulnerable journey, which is one I feel I’m on right now.
Preferred Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Lives in Boston, Mass.
Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? Well, many still seem to think it is a choice (e.g., “Hey, let’s try something different”). The only choice is to finally be honest with yourself. Also, so many just assume it’s an extension of a same sex/gay preference. It might be for some, but not for me or many others I’ve met. It’s just simply being who I really am.
Parts 2 and 3 of this series will appear in the November 3 & December 8 issues. Sterling Bishop
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them/Their Lives in Somerville, Mass. Q: What does having a non-binary identity mean to you? It’s different to everyone. Being non-binary just means not fitting into the two default options. It’s a chance for a conversation rather than an assumption. Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel?
That non-binary folks look a certain way. That there’s a right or wrong way to look, to express your identity. Q: How can society be more inclusive of gender non-conforming people? Ask [for] preferred pronouns. Don’t assume too much about people based on their appearance. Don’t just include “Male” and “Female” on forms, or in questions. [Provide] gender inclusive bathrooms.
For additional interviews and photos, visit http://alex-mancini.wixsite.com/genderseries
Preferred Pronouns: Currently unsure and exploring Lives in Somerville, Mass.
Q: What is one common misconception about non-binary people that you’d like to dispel? A: ... That their gender identity is correlated with their sexuality. It’s actually completely unrelated. ...