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Vol. 29 • Febuary 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
Photo: kylae jordan
The
Alex Morse:
Photo: courtesy alex morse
• Your LGBTQ News in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut & Vermont •
Photo: glenn koetzner
Openly Running For Holyoke Mayor p22
Bryan Couzens:
out for reel:
Photo: when night is falling
TRT’s Newest heroes Award Designee p15
Presenting Internationally Acclaimed Films p9
TRT Exclusive:
Tracy & Stamie
Bid Adieu To The
Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts that’ll Getcha Some p7
Real L Word
CT Supreme Court rules in favor of Gay Couple in Parenting Case p3
p17
The Rainbow Times wins official 2011 Boston Pride Guide bid p2
• Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
TRT wins 2011 Boston Pride Guide bid My love for the world extends far beyond By: Gricel M. Ocasio*/TRT Publisher y now, many of you already know that The Rainbow Times (TRT, New England’s Freshest Newspaper) is Boston Pride’s Official Pride Guide designer and producer. We cannot tell you how excited we are to collaborate with Boston Pride to create the 2011 Guide and to do so grandly. We thank the Boston Pride Board, Deputy Director, and Committee for having trusted us this first year with their Guide, their reputation and their product. To you I say, “We will make you proud, we will prevail and we will keep our promises.” These principles, I strongly believe, are the reasons why we are bestowed such an important privilege this year. This bid is a historical event for The Rainbow Times and we want to ensure that we continue to work in good faith, with our team’s professionalism on our sleeves, just as we have all along since 2006. As I think about Boston Pride and its Guide, I also think about the other equally important Guides that we have produced throughout the years: the Noho Pride Guide and the Connecticut Pride Guide. We have always been proud to be the official designers of these Guides as well and we thank them for their trust in us too. Congratulations to Noho Pride and Connecticut Pride as they both prepare to celebrate their 30th
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Anniversaries. All of these Pride organizations deserve our gratitude and support for helping to make LGBT lives visible and celebrated in New England and throughout the country. For more information about advertising in the Guides, please contact TRT directly at sales@therainbowtimesmass.com. To volunteer, donate or sponsor these organizations, please visit their respective websites: www.bostonpride.org, www.nohopride.org/, and www.connecticutpride.org/. As I always emphasize, we would not be here without you, our readers, advertisers, allies and supporters. We could not do it without the dedication, respect and commitment that our team shows us each and every day either. Nicole and I cannot ever thank you enough, but we certainly mean it from the depth of our hearts. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Gricel M. Ocasio
*Gricel Martínez Ocasio is the co-founder, co-owner and Publisher of The Rainbow Times. She is a graduate of Marylhurst University, and Temple University. She has been in the journalism and publishing field for almost 20 years. You can reach her at: publisher@ therainbowtimesnews.com.
Queeries: “I was outed on FaceBook,” “Confronting a Cheater,” & “First Timer”
advice
By: Steven Petrow*/Special for TRT
“I was outed on Facebook”
Q: Even though my good friend Letisha lives with her girlfriend, she is not out to her family. At least she wasn’t until last week. Right after the holidays I posted a lovey-dovey photo of the two of them on my Facebook page, tagging both. Then of course bam! The photo was automatically uploaded to Letisha’s Facebook page and suddenly her whole family knew she was gay. Now Letisha won’t speak to me because she says I outed her. I say it’s her fault that she kept such a big secret from her family. Who’s right? A: Every day I get more and more questions about Facebook gone awry. It’s so easy to stumble on some social faux pas that didn’t
even exist before. However, from what you write, there’s enough blame to go around in this situation. First off, here’s my advice to you: No matter what, don’t tag people without asking their permission. Maybe you’re at the beach and unaware that your Facebook friend has called in sick from work. Maybe you’re photographing someone who is underage and the photo has caught him drinking. Or maybe your friend isn’t out. On the other hand, Letisha does need to wake up and face the fact that everything about Facebook is viral. No matter how you set your privacy settings, you can’t protect your privacy 100 percent. Lastly, a special note for your friend: Please don’t ask others to be complicit in your secrets. It’s certainly your right to stay See Queeries on page 13
Businesses giving back to the community By: Jenn Tracz*/CABO’s Executive Director s I mentioned last month CABO has created many great partnerships and initiatives within the CT community and with our membership and supporters statewide. This month I’d like to talk about CABO member, The Imperial Sovereign Court of All CT. The Imperial Court is a CT non-profit that raises money for community organizations in need. Each year they hold their annual Coronation and this year it takes place February 18th - 20th. On February 19th join CABO and the many non-profit members we serve at Coronation at the Windsor Marriot. Festivities begin at 6pm and include dinner, dancing, a silent auction and much more. For more information visit their website at www.iscofallct.com. This year the proceeds from Coronation happen to be going towards two CABO members, True Colors and the St. Phillip House. The synergy of CABO and all its members is something we are quite proud of. Are you a member or supporter with an interesting story to share, let us know! We are always looking for ways we can improve and maximize our relationships with members, partners, supporters and friends. If you have a suggestion for what we can include in this column each month, don’t hesitate
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to let us know. The better we can serve our audience the better we can serve the community. CABO’s corporate partnerships include; Aetna, Foxwoods, Murtha Cullina LLP, Comcast Business Class, Clear Channel Radio and The Rainbow Times. Each of Jenn Tracz these businesses has something great to offer and their commitment and support to the LGBT community is what separates them from the rest. We highly encourage you to do business with one or all of them. As a CABO member there are many great exclusive offers to take advantage of. *In her role as Executive Director, Jenn is responsible for maintaining and growing membership, developing strategic business partnerships and overseeing the day-to-day operations of the organization. In addition to being CABO’s executive director, she also is a small business owner specializing in planning, branding, social media and design services.
just those that I can hold within my arms By: Jason Lydon/TRT Columnist am well aware that I am supposed to hate Valentine’s Day. It is commonly understood that this is a day when we buy silly cards for our romantic partners, spend exorbitant amounts of money on cut flowers that have been shipped half way across the world and eat chocolates out of heart shaped boxes. Jewelry companies try to convince men that if they buy expensive diamonds that were mined with slave labor in the Ivory Coast, their girlfriends or wives will do whatever they want. So, many of these traditions hide the real importance of love and the beauty of being there for one another in meaningful and fulfilling ways. All of that is true, yet I have to say it, I pretty much love Valentine’s Day. I love it because I like to reimagine it! Imagine if Valentine’s Day was when we got in touch with the erotic power that Audre Lorde, Black, lesbian, feminist, poet, organizer, wrote about. She reminds us that, “the very word erotic comes from the Greek word eros, the personification of love in all its aspects - born of chaos, and personifying creative power and harmony.” I know that as I passionately kiss my sweetie in the street or dance with him in my kitchen that chaos seems to bubble up inside me, filling me with excitement and smiles. Audre Lorde continues on in her reflecting on the erotic describing it as “the open and fearless underlining of my capacity for joy, in the way my body stretches to music and opens into response, harkening to its deepest rhythms so every level upon which I sense also
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Letters to the Editor Dear Editor, Ever since December 1, 1952 when the New York Daily News published a front-page story about Christine Jorgensen, “Ex-GI Becomes Blonde Beauty,” the world has been aware of male-to-female (MTF) transsexuals. Not so much for female-to-male (FTM) transsexuals and the trans masculine, whose very existence was denied for decades or only considered valid by the medical establishment if accompanied by a heterosexual orientation. Only recently has there emerged in the media a national figure, Chaz Bono, who represents FTMs and our struggles. Thank you for covering Mr. Bono and his transition in The Rainbow Times. For a long while, The Rainbow Times has published not one, but two, columns every issue written by and about male-to-female transsexuals. Again, all to the good and I salute you for it. However, the voice of femaleto-male transsexuals and other trans masculine individuals seems missing, at least on a regular basis, from the paper. FTMs share some common issues with MTFs, but we also have aspects of our lives and transitions that are very different and, generally, little known. For example, our transsexual surgeries are medically quite different, as are the effects of testosterone. The fact that lower surgeries for FTMs are imperfect and costly presents barriers. The non-medical means we use to alter our appearances differ, too. We have relationship changes and challenges that are specific to us whether or not we medically transition. Our health-care experiences may also vary. Mainly, though, transgender and transsexual men and youth have a problem with being voiceless and invisible in society, thus being misunderstood; which feeds abuse, hatred, and discrimination. Ignorance breeds See Letters on page 6
opens to the erotically satisfying experience whether it is dancing, building a bookcase, writing a poem, or examining an idea.” It is without a doubt that many of us have experienced that. Jason Lydon Valentine’s Day, the celebration of love and our erotic selves need not be limited to our romantic partners. We can celebrate our love of ourselves, love of our passionate lives, and love of our dear friends. Why should we let card companies dictate who we love on a day that celebrates the great power of eros. One of the stories of Valentine’s Day that I have no idea if it’s true, but is one that I have heard numerous times and makes a beautiful myth, is that of St. Valentine. In the end of the first millennium Italy St. Valentine broke state and church law by marrying young men and women. Marriage was banned for a number of years because married men were not allowed to join the military and go off to fight war. However, there were many battles going on at the time supported by both the Church and the State. St. Valentine defied the marriage ban and continued to marry couples in defiance of the See My Love for the World on page 3
The351Rainbow Times Pleasant St., #322
Northampton, MA 01060 www.therainbowtimesnews.com editor@therainbowtimesnews.com sales@therainbowtimesnews.com Phone: 413.282.8881, 617.444.9618 or Fax: 206.203.0436 Publisher Gricel M. Ocasio Editor-In-Chief Nicole Lashomb Assistant Editor Natalia Muñoz Sales Associates Chris Gilmore Liz Johnson Lead Photographer Glenn Koetzner Webmaster Jarred Johnson Lead Designer Jim Curran
Columnists Lorelei Erisis Deja N. Greenlaw Paul P. Jesep Jason Lydon Jenn Tracz John Verlinden Susan Ryan-Vollmar Reporters Chuck Colbert Clara Lefton Christine Nico Tynan Power Joe Siegel
The Rainbow Times is published monthly by The Rainbow Times, LLC. TRT is affiliated with the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, CABO - The Connecticut Alliance for Business Opportunity, and QSyndicate. The articles written by the writers, columnists, and correspondents express their opinion, and do not represent the endorsement or opinion of The Rainbow Times, LLC or its owners. To write letters to the editor, please send your letters, with your name, address and phone number to: The Rainbow Times (address shown above), or e-mail any comment/s to the editor at: editor@therainbowtimesnews.com. All submissions will be edited according to space constraints. The Rainbow Times, LLC reserves the right not to print any or all content, or advertisements for any reason at all. TRT is not responsible for advertising content. To receive The Rainbow Times at your home via regular mail, or through electronic delivery, please visit our website. The whole content and graphics (photos, etc.) are the sole property of The Rainbow Times, LLC and they cannot be reproduced at all without TRT’s consent.
Connecticut Supreme Court rules in favor of gay couple in parenting case By: Joe Siegel/TRT Reporter In a landmark decision, the Connecticut Supreme Court ruled on January 5 that a gay male couple who wanted to have children and used a gestational surrogate are the children’s legal parents, and that the state must permit both men’s names to be placed on the birth certificates. “It is instances like this landmark court decision that make me truly value and appreciate residing in the state of Connecticut,” said Jenn Tracz, CABO Executive Director. “Connecticut shows time and again that support for LGBT individuals and families are a top priority. I am even more proud that Victoria T. Ferrara has been and is a proud member and supporter of CABO since inception. It is stories like this that validate the work that CABO and its members do for the LGBT community.” Shawn and Anthony Raftopol have been together for 16 years and married in Massachusetts in 2008. When they decided to expand their family, they entered into a contract with a gestational surrogate – a surrogate who carries a child, but is not genetically related, who gave birth to twin boys, Sebastian and Lukas, now 2, in April 2008. Following the birth, Connecticut’s Department of Public Health would not allow the names of both fathers to appear on the birth certificates. The Supreme Court’s ruling affirmed the lower court’s order confirming their parentage and requiring the state to issue corrected birth certificates. The couple used the same egg donor and gestational carrier for the birth of their daughter Zoe in 2006. “We are relieved with the Court’s decision,” said Shawn. “Now, we have the security of knowing that the law reflects our children’s reality.” Anthony said: “As a couple, we chose to create a family. We assumed the responsibility for bringing them into the world, with the understanding that we would love, support and nurture them in every way. In other words, to be what parents are supposed to be.” “This is the single most important decision in the history of gay men having children through surrogacy,” said John Weltman, Esq., president of Circle Surrogacy, and author of an amicus brief in the case. “For a state high court to recognize the right of two gay men to be legal fathers of a child from the outset of the surrogacy process sets an incredible precedent. Furthermore, it positions Connecticut as one of the best states in the country for couples – gay and straight - to pursue gestational surrogacy with egg donation to create their family.” The Raftopols were represented in Raftopol v. Ramey by attorney Victoria T. Ferrara. GLAD submitted an amicus brief on behalf of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Academy of Assisted Reproductive Technology Attorneys, Connecticut Fertility Associates, and New England Fertility Institute. “This historic decision honors the intentions of everyone involved in bringing these children into the world, and provides those children with the protection of having two legal parents from the moment of their birth,” said GLAD Senior Staff Attorney Karen Loewy, who co-authored the brief. “This ruling has
special significance for same-sex couples using assisted reproductive technologies like gestational surrogacy, because there will always be one intended parent who is not a genetic parent. It is now clear that Connecticut law honors and protects those intended families.” The decision will mean that all couples, gay and straight, who enter into a valid agreement with a gestational surrogate to bring a child into the world are the legal parents of that child, regardless of genetic connections. GLAD’s amicus brief highlighted some of the serious harms that could result from not recognizing the legal parentage of both intended parents for a child born through gestational surrogacy, and argued that the Legislature had provided a means to affirm that parentage in exactly the way the plaintiffs in this case did: by entering into a valid gestational agreement and by asking the Superior Court for an order of parentage and for a birth certificate reflecting their parentage. Additional counsel on GLAD’s brief were local counsel Ken Bartschi and Karen Dowd from Horton, Shields, & Knox, P.C., Tom Ude of Lambda Legal, and of counsel John Weltman and Scott Buckley of the Weltman Law Group. Ude noted that it was a “very important case for parents, whether they’re straight or gay who choose to have a child with the help of a surrogate because it allows them to protect their family relationship and get a birth certificate reflecting the true family, at or before the child is born. It’s a tremendous step forward for families.” Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) is New England’s leading legal organization dedicated to ending discrimination based on sexual orientation, HIV status, and gender identity and expression. My Love for the World from page 2 state and church. He did so for the purpose of keeping men out of war and standing by his ideas of love. St. Valentine was executed for his actions; he was made a martyr because he would not stand by as men went off to war. While I am not a fan of the modern institution of marriage, this act of anti-statist action inspires me and reminds me that my love for the world extends far beyond those I can hold in my arms. As carnations and roses get passed around on Valentine’s Day I will also be thinking of this martyr who gave his life in the name of love and justice. This Valentine’s Day I encourage others to explore all the ways you can express your love. Help your neighbor dig out their snow covered car. Make a delicious meal for your best pal. Kiss your sweetie passionately so other people can see. Give your pet their favorite treat. Take your child on an exciting adventure. Treat yourself to your favorite dessert. Use all of your senses this Valentine’s Day and help actualize the great power of love.
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www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 •
• Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
Faith, Family, and God – Who Am I? Catholic schools new policy implicitly
in the name of god
Perhaps for the last time I surveyed my apartBy: Paul P. Jesep*/TRT Columnist n December 31st and in mid- ment. Before closing the door I looked at the January two events occurred that many things that brought me comfort and pleacollectively gave me A Chorus sure – books, framed art, family photos, opera Line experience. In the musical Paul and ballet memorabilia, and numerous icons of sings, “Who am I anyway? Am I my various saints that included Sergius and Bacchus, lovers and life-long companions. resume?” For practical reasons I took my laptop, cell In mid-January the time changed on my computer from Tuesday, 11:59 p.m. phone, and brief case. I took nothing else. I did to Wednesday, 12:00 a.m. Another snow forget my reading glasses which later annoyed the hell out of me. storm had arrived. I I am not and will not be deworked on the laptop If my soul or how the fined by “things.” Although as huge red and ormy grandmother’s embroidery ange flames sudden- world perceives me is and many photos could not be ly danced outside my replaced, people you love are deck window across not defined by degrees, held in the heart. Opera and balthe parking lot. In titles, my resume, or let memorabilia is something in moments heat and time and does not reflect what light became unin- social status (or lack they are – a living, vibrant, vited guests. The fire thereof) then by what? dynamic feast for the eyes and trucks were arriving. I alerted my neigh- My effort to be true to my ears. They live in the moment of the performance. Icons, clothes, bors. Most were Creation as the Creator books, framed reproductions of sleeping. The gent intended. paintings, among other things next door cursed at can be replaced. the television. His Before finally leaving the building I checked blood pressure seems to rise when watching the Sports Channel. I returned to the apartment. It to make sure everyone was okay. Although my felt like a preheating oven. From the time it took neighbors clearly were, gruff, testosterone-ento knock on doors to my return the temperature thused police arrived to state the obvious. “You have to leave!” Yah think? had gone up considerably. Other than damage to some cars in the back “What should I take,” I asked. I had no furryfour legged children to worry about. “Perhaps lot and smoked-kielbasa aroma permeating the take the Ukrainian embroidery my grandmother building our respective homes were fine the made? Maybe pack some of my music collec- next day. Most important no pet or person was tion? What about my degrees?” I parked my hurt. Perhaps it had something to do with all the car in an enclosed garage blocks away due to religious icons I left behind. Not likely. the storm. Without the car to load I didn’t have See In The Name of God on page 6 many options.
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welcomes the children of gay parents By: Chuck Colbert/TRT Reporter The Boston archdiocese has issued a new admissions policy for parochial schools, saying it will not “discriminate against or exclude any categories of students” but parents “must accept and understand that teachings of the Catholic Church are an essential and required part of the curriculum.” The new Archdiocesan Catholic Schools Admission Policy comes eight months after a controversy erupted in Hingham, Mass. There, Father James Rafferty, pastor of St. Paul School, rescinded an admissions offer to an eight-year old boy, the son of lesbian parents. In response, Cardinal Sean P. O’Malley directed a team of clergy and lay persons to formulate new guidelines. The team included school principals and pastors, as well as members of the Presbyteral and Pastoral Councils. Father Rafferty was also on the team. The new policy allows for autonomy at the parish level. Pastors and principals, therefore, may draft their own admissions policies, but they must be “written, included in the school handbook, consider the welfare and best interests of the child and be disseminated to prospective students and their parents prior to registration.’’ The new guidelines also state “admission is dependent both on academic qualifications and the desire to promote what is in the best interest of the student.” At the time of the Hingham flap, there was no specific archdiocesan policy for the situation, but children with gay parents were not barred outright from the schools. Both archdiocesan officials and funders of Catholic education in Boston were critical of Rafferty’s handling of the matter. The Boston archdiocese assisted the parents in finding another school. As the Boston Globe reported, the “Catholic Schools Foundation, which gives millions in scholarships to low-income students, said it would not subsidize tuition at any school with a discriminatory admissions policy.” Michael B. Reardon, executive director of the foundation, told the Globe that his organization is pleased with the new policy. “From the perspective of the foundation, the key part of this is that it does not exclude any group of students, and it promotes what is essential to Catholic education, which is inclusivity,’’ he said. But the new policy does not define what is considered a category. “Our schools welcome, and they don’t discriminate against any categories of students,” Secretary for Education Mary Grassa O’Neill told The Pilot, the archdiocese’s official newspaper. “It covers all categories of students.”
Vicar General and Moderator of the Curia Father Richard Erikson told The Pilot, “Catholic education is a treasure of the Church, and we want to share that as broadly as we can,” adding, “We will not exclude any category of child from our schools and we expect pastors will be in conformity with the decision.” Reaction among gay Catholics has been positive but skeptical. Charles Martel, co-founder of Catholics for Marriage Equality, said he was pleased with the new policy and hopes other dioceses across the country follow Boston’s example. “The painful circumstances of denying a child a parochial education only because their parents are a same-sex couple, has finally been rectified by the new archdiocesan policy welcoming all children,” Martel said. “This policy recognizes that there already exists a great diversity of families in which children are being raised, and the priority should always be about the children.” Martel added, “An archdiocesan policy that welcomes all children to receive a parochial education is a step forward, implicit that the children of same sex parents will not be denied equal access. Single parents, parents who are not Catholic, parents who have divorced, and yes, same-sex parents, all need to feel able to fully participate in the education of their children.” The Catholic Church defines marriage as a heterosexual union. The catechism says homosexual acts are “intrinsically disordered’’ and calls divorce “a grave offense against the natural law.” Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive director of the LGBT Catholic organization DignityUSA, while praising the archdiocese for banning discrimination, wondered how pastors and principals would interpret what is in “the best interest of the child’. As she explained, “My major issue with the guidelines is the same issue I have with everything about the official church and LGBT issues: When pastoral practice bumps up against doctrine that says gay and lesbian people are ‘disordered’ and ‘evil,’ doctrine almost always wins out.” Duddy-Burke is also a parent. “I still wonder what would happen if my kids were in Catholic school, and someone went to the principal or pastor upset that a married lesbian couple’s children were enrolled,” she explained. “Would the school leaders really stand up for my daughters, for our family? Would archdiocesan officials back them up if they did? Would they say that judgment and exclusion are not Catholic values, and that we all need to work together to create community? I hope so, I really do, but I don’t feel ready to risk it yet.”
www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 •
• Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
337 Businesses awarded the distinction of “Best Places to Work for LGBT Equality”
100% Scorers on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index offer Gold Standard of Workplace Fairness WASHINGTON, DC—The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) civil rights organization, recently released its annual list of “Best Places to Work for LGBT Equality.” This year 337 companies were awarded this distinction for their employment policies and practices that include LGBT workers and their families. The list comes as Fortune magazine has also released their annual “100 Best Companies to Work For.” A complete list of HRC’s honored businesses is available online at: www.hrc. org/placestowork. “With the amount of time people spend at work, having strong protections on the job make a real difference in the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “By mandating equal opportunity in hiring, ensuring equal compensation through medical and family benefits, and promoting inclusive and equal workplaces for LGBT employees, these companies are a model for other employers and federal and state governments.” The “Best Places to Work for LGBT Equal-
ity” distinction is awarded to businesses that scored 100% on the HRC Foundation’s 2011 Corporate Equality Index, the primary method for businesses to benchmark and evaluate their policies, practices and diversity efforts relating to LGBT workers. The index evaluates non-discrimination policies, benefits, diversity training and other internal resources for LGBT workers, as well as external support for the LGBT community. Released in October, the 2011 Corporate Equality Index report is available online at www.hrc.org/cei. The 337 businesses will be honored on March 23 at the Seventh Annual LGBT Workplace Awards Seminar and Reception hosted by Time Warner at the Time Warner Center in New York. The Human Rights Campaign is America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality. By inspiring and engaging all Americans, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBT citizens and realize a nation that achieves fundamental fairness and equality for all.
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Letters from page 2 fear. So, education, as always, is key. I’m wondering whether you would consider adding a regular column such as “Ask a Trans Man,” to your enlightened publication? I cannot offer myself as the writer since I am currently focusing my energies on organizational development for the Sexual Minorities Archives. However, I am sure there are several talented trans male writers you could tap for such an informative piece. Considering that trans men come in all sexual orientations, date and marry within the gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersex, and heterosexual communities - all parts of your readership - a regular column would go a long way towards breaking the silence about our lives and struggles for equality. Respectfully, —Bet Power, Founder, Facilitator East Coast FTM Group Northampton, MA Dear Editor, I am writing to inform you that Americas unjust immigration laws that prohibit an American citizen from sponsoring their foreign born non U.S. citizen same sex partner is destroying my family. Currently U.S. policy permits a heterosexual American citizen the right to sponsor their heterosexual foreign born partner for immigration purposes provided that they have met at least once in person in the past two years, but same sex binational couples are denied such an opportunity. I am a United States citizen and have been in a same-sex binational relationship for the past four years with a British citizen. Our relationship has endured because of our commitment to each other despite the mental and physical hardships and expense that U.S. laws have forced us to endure. I am separated for great lengths of time from the love of my life, from my support system, from the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with. We have spent thousands of dollars, money which was and is difficult to raise, in order to spend short periods of time together. We have been deprived of a chance of our home, health and happiness while our heterosexual counterparts are permitted such In The Name of God from page 4 If my soul or how the world perceives me is not defined by degrees, titles, my resume, or social status (or lack thereof) then by what? My effort to be true to my Creation as the Creator intended. On New Year’s Eve I was at a Barnes and Noble. After spending too much money on books I don’t have time to read a woman approached me in the parking lot. She had been crying, was visibly shaken, and needed cab fare for about a sixty minute trip. I gave it to her. She pledged to pay me back and asked several times for my address. Before you think me naïve and living under a cabbage
freedoms. One can only imagine the mental anguish that my government has placed on me and that it fails in promoting my welfare as a U.S. citizen. Over the past three years I have been a volunteer with a grassroots organization called OUT4Immigration. We have been diligently working towards bringing public awareness and Congressional support for the potential passage the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), which contains language that would include the ability for an American in same-sex binational relationship to sponsor their partner with all the regulations and penalties that exist in the process that is currently in place for heterosexual binational couples. We are a small organization with limited funds and resources and many of our members have already made the difficult decisions of leaving America in order to be with their partner in another country. I too am faced with this heart breaking decision of choosing between love and country, but I cannot live my life on hold any longer and I plead for increased support for the passage of UAFA. This is not just an issue facing the LGBTQ community, but it is a human issue. It is an American issue and I hope you will assist me and my family in raising public awareness of the discrimination placed against same sex binational couples. Thank You, —Gina M. Caprio, Sacramento California, (via the Internet) Dear Editor, I was proud to read TRT’s coverage, all the way up here from Manchester, NH. We love TRT here and we thank you for your quality coverage. We enjoyed the health issue and found it to be overall very informative, with local coverage and a touch of a national LGBT health news. I wish, however, that you had more coverage in this area. Is that possible? —Mary Hendrichson, Manchester, NH Dear Mary, We are working diligently to ensure that other parts of New England are equally covered in our coverage. Our NH coverage continues to be of importance to us and we will take your comments and move forward with even more. —The Editor leaf, I’m rather jaded. Yet I never doubted her sincerity to repay me or that the situation was as difficult as it appeared. Although I thought about giving her my address, I said, “No. Don’t worry about it.” She asked several times, “Are you sure?” “Yes,” I responded. “A day may come when you’ll be in a position to do the same.” *Paul is an author, attorney, and a seminary trained, ordained priest in greater Albany, NY. His book Crucifying Jesus and Secularizing America – the Republic of Faith without Wisdom, is available on Amazon.com. He may be reached at Dilovod@aol.com.
PO Box 385, Easthampton, MA 01027 Phone/Fax: (413) 552-8496 • Email: candm884@aol.com
www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 •
Valentines weddings Valentines weddings
Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts That’ll Getcha Some! By: Mikey Rox*/Special for TRT
Lilac. The WiFi-enabled eReader also comes preloaded with 100 free eBooks and access to a store that contains 1.8 million more freebies that can be read on nearly any other non-Kobo device. Which is more than Amazon can say for its prize pony since it’s only compatible with in-network downloads. Three cheers for the underdog. ($139.99; KoboBooks.com)
Hearts of Gold
Punch-Drunk Love
Cupid’s holiday calls for cocktails, especially if you’ve got a cutie to claim as your own (but probably more so if you don’t), and Stirrings all-natural mixers and rimmers (mind outta the gutter!) get the party started. Just choose your favorite spirit, add a festive Stirrings flavor – like blood orange or pomegranate – and sip your way to satisfaction. To help you along, Carlo, the Naked Bartender – who’s a dead ringer for Timothy Olyphant’s younger, hotter brother – offers recipes and interactive video greetings when you become a fan of Stirrings on Facebook. Hands on the keys, please. ($7; Stirrings.com)
By The Book
While Kindle and Nook duke it out for dominance of eReader market share, Kobo is quietly gaining fans. Why? For starters, it’s lighter and faster than Kindle, and Kobo features a chic quilted back available in several sexy colors, like Onyx, Metallic Silver and
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It doesn’t matter what kind of girl you have, diamonds are probably still her best friend. Because, well, who doesn’t love a little bit of bling? From The Pearl Source, which uses freshwater and South Sea pearls at 75% off other retailers’ prices, comes the Tahitian HeartShaped Diamond Earring set and the Tahitian Pearl & Diamond of the Heart Pendant. The former features 3.5 grams of 18K white gold and .15 carat SI-quality diamonds while the latter boasts .22 carats and 1.63 grams of white gold. Even so, the reaction you’ll receive when she opens the box will be more than you can measure. ($399-$599; ThePearlSource.com)
Sexual Delivery
What goes on behind closed doors is nobody’s business but yours. Well, unless you count the FedEx guy who delivers your shipment of Collective Wellbeing sex toys. Then again, he’s knows all your naughty secrets, doesn’t he? Now he’ll have something new to talk about it. We Vibe II – the first vibrator that can be used during intercourse and allows for simul-
taneous internal and external stimulation – is perfect for deepening intimacy and recharging passions, while Naughtibod by OhMiBod plugs into an iPod or other portable music player to send good vibrations to your erogenous zones in time with your favorite tunes. That’s right – a toy that elevates your ecstasy to the sounds of Melissa Etheridge. Lesbian heaven. ($69; CollectiveWellbeing.com)
Public Speaker
Nobody keeps wallet photos anymore. Except maybe your dad and he probably hid yours behind his Moose Lodge membership after you came out. Such is life. Since you’re not an easily embarrassed old curmudgeon, you likely
want a better way to show off your sweetie. Enter Doodle from OrigAudio, a portable speaker that you can customize with personal pics (but not too personal), artwork, logos, graphics and more. Powered by two AA batteries, Doodle is compatible with any audio device that has a standard headphone jack, and it fits in your back pocket. Right next to his heartstrings. ($39.99; OrigAudio.com) See Valentine’s Gifts on page 14
• Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
How to plan for your wedding, that Love Stories: Two couples reveal special day when love trumps it all the success of their relationships By: Joe Siegel/TRT Reporter Same-sex couples looking to spend a lifetime together want to make their wedding as special as possible. There are a lot of components which go into making the event a success: the location, the date, the guest list, the food, the flowers, and the music. In addition, there are also the invitations, the wedding attire, the rings, hotel accommodations, and of course, the honeymoon to plan as well. Who can assist you and your spouse to create the perfect wedding? One resource is GayWeddings. com, a firm which provides products and information networking to same-sex couples who seek to affirm their life-long commitments to each other through commitment ceremonies, civil unions, domestic partnerships, civil marriage and other alternative weddings. The site offers a list of LGBT-friendly vendors, including those specializing in cakes, catering, event rentals, flowers and décor, photography, and transportation. There are also Wedding Checklists, including “Ten Things To Do Before Saying I Do.” One of the top priorities is working out a budget for the event which is within your financial range. “In the U.S., weddings cost $26,000$30,000 on average, it’s critical to measure one’s finances against anticipated expenses. It’s
As affordable as Internet Dating with the personal touch of a Matchmaker
possible to host a wedding for less and easier than you can imagine to host one for more. Before you begin, think about your finances and how much you and your partner can afford and whether or not you’ll be asking parents to chip in,” according to the site. Another important task is to book your ceremony and reception site early. “Don’t make the mistake of announcing your wedding date until you have a contract in hand for your ceremony and reception. You may find that you’ll need to pick a date based on the availability of your dream venue. And, don’t be surprised if you find that you [have] to book a space nine months or more in advance of a date if you are picking a popular time of year or a popular venue.” Other tips to make your wedding successful are to attend other weddings – straight and gay, to get some ideas, as well as to reach out to others who have already had their weddings, so they can give you some advice. However, you also have the freedom to put your own personal stamp on your wedding. This day is about you, so feel free to use your own ideas on how to make the event a special one. The site says: “Borrow from the traditional rituals that have significance for you. Add elements that speak to you and your community. Above all: be yourself and be present and the rest will follow.”
By: Joe Siegel/TRT Reporter What makes for a successful relationship? How can a relationship stay fresh when the partners have been together for 30 years or longer? The Rainbow Times spoke with some couples to get their perspectives.
people do not find ways to resolve any differences they have and then these differences wear away at the good feelings they have for each other.” “People become attracted to people that they aren’t very compatible with,” Conklin added. Peck and Conklin have always managed to discuss any problems in their relationship. “No matter what our differences, I always know deep down inside that we will always resolve it,” Peck said.
Janet Peck & Carol Conklin, Colchester, CT Peck, 60, and Conklin, 57, from Colchester, Connecticut, have been together for 35 years, and married for the last two of those years. The women knew each other in Bruce Bell & George Smart, high school but were seeing Quincy, MA other people at the time. A Bell, 67, and Smart, 60, conversation at a dinner party have been together for more between Peck and Conklin than 34 years. They married soon led to a friendship, and in 2004. Bell and Smart met then a romance. Photo: courtesy Janet Peck at a gathering of gay men on “We fell in love,” Peck said, Cape Cod in 1976. explaining her and Conklin Janet Peck & Carol Conklin “I wasn’t out, I didn’t have have shared interests, shared any gay friends,” Bell recalled. “When I walked values, and similar political views. Their compatibility has been at the root of their in (to a private home), I saw this person in a white sweater - George, and somehow I knew relationship, as well as a deep mutual respect. “We’re there for each other emotionally, in immediately (he was my soul mate), and we’ve hard times,” Conklin said, noting they were been together ever since. It sounds like a real able to count on each other for support during Cinderella story but it’s basically true.” Smart had the same feeling toward Bell that the deaths of their parents. fateful night: “I remember “We love each other to seeing (Bruce) in a blue death, we respect each other, sweater with a sailboat on it we support each other and and I think I said as we were like nothing better than to walking out that night, I said spend time together - hiking, to (Bruce) “are you following biking, kayaking, camping me?” and being women’s basketNeither Bell nor Smart had ball fans,” Peck explained. ever been in a long-term rela“We have also had similar tionship before, but found a goals to shoot for - we built common bond. Compatibility a house together, we built has been a key ingredient to careers, worked for marriage their relationship. equality in CT and we are “We have a lot of the same now planning for retirement interests,” Smart explained. within the next 4 years when Photo: courtesy bruce bell “We both like theatre, we both we hope to travel around the like going to the movies, we Bruce Bell & George Smart country in our camper.” have a good circle of friends Peck, who works as a mental health counselor and does couples counsel- that we’ve formed over the last 30 years, we ing, believes the high rate of relationship fail- came out to both of our families, they were supportive once they got over the initial shock of it.” ures is due to cultural conditioning. A challenge for Bell and Smart was the lack “I do think we live in a throwaway society and that may have something to do with it but I of role models to look to for guidance in their think a better answer is that I don’t think people relationship. “(In 1976) there had not been a single book find the time to check in with each other often enough- to connect with each other on a daily or which had been written about gay couples,” at least weekly basis,” Peck noted. “I also think Bell noted. “At first we tried to figure out (how to act) as a gay couple. Once we realized that we could make up our own rules, it became quite liberating,” Bell said. Being able to maintain a serious relationship in the midst of life’s challenges is very important, Bell believes. “A good sense of humor is important in the long run. The other thing is God knows we’ve been through enough changes and somehow through all the changes, both individual and the changes in the relationship, it somehow works. We still enjoy each other and have a good time.”
Out! For Reel March offerings present beautiful, magical films celebrating love and friendship
www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 •
entertainment
Northampton, MA—Two performer, who accidentally meet and gradubeautifully produced award-winning ally fall in love. The depth of its characters, the films that tell two compelling, magical quirky subplots, and the framing and lighting of stories about love and friendship will each scene makes this film a passionate, upliftbe presented by the Out! For Reel ing, timeless lesbian classic. When Night Is FallLGBT Film Series on Saturday, March ing stands out in offering film as art at its best. 5, at the Academy of Music Theater, Donkey Girl, a charming short film by U.S. Northampton, filmmaker Ties Scheat 7pm. Doors nu, tells the delightful, open at 6 pm heartwarming story for an informal of two young teenage social hour. girls somewhere in the Produced in Middle East, who unextwo different pectedly form a friendcenturies, in two ship and deep soulful different counconnection. tries, by film“Donkey Girl is by makers of two far one of the best short different genfilms I have ever seen,” erations, When Michaels states. “It’s Night Is Falling an amazing story that (Canada, feature) and achieves a level of depth Donkey Girl (U.S.A., and richness unusual for short), are internationala short film.” ly award-winning films Tickets are $11 in adPhoto: when night is falling vance, $14 at the door, that easily captivate the viewer’s attention. $9 for students with curPassion flares in When Night is Falling When Night Is Fallrent ID (Student tickets ing, the lesbian film produced in 1995, was are available only at the Academy box office.) forced by the U.S. film ratings board to censor Advance tickets can be purchased online at love scenes before it could be sold on DVD. Ca- www.OutForReel.org. nadian filmmaker Patricia Rozema fought veheTicket Outlets: State Street Fruit Store, mently against the blatant homophobia by the Northampton, Food For Thought Books, Amboard without success. Only recently was the herst, and World Eye Bookshop, Greenfield, film re-released in its original version. Academy Box Office (box office fee applies). “For over a decade LGBT folks have seen this Out! For Reel screens the best in award-winfilm in its censored, edited version. Homopho- ning lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender bia is not censoring us on this night. Finally films from around the world on a monthly basis we have the opportunity to see one of the most during an eight month season. cinematically remarkable lesbian films in its entirety, uncensored, up on the big screen, just Out! For Reel’s mission is to create and as the filmmaker envisioned it,” says Jaime Mi- strengthen our LGBT community through culchaels, Executive Producer/Director of the Out! tural events, build connections to our heteroFor Reel LGBT Film Series. sexual allies, and work toward the eradication of When Night Is Falling tells the fascinating homophobia through the arts and entertainment. story of two women who live very differently For more information visit OutForReel.org. lives, one is a college professor and one is a
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10 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • 11
Book Marks: The latest and greatest in GLBTQ Online High School announces LGBTQ writing from all around the globe new spring tuition plan for fall enrollment By: Richard Labonte*/Special for TRT I’m from Driftwood: True Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Stories from All Over the World, edited by Nathan Manske. IFD, 168 pages, $15 paper. There is profound eloquence in this first-person collection of childhood stories – first crushes, loves realized, family reactions and more – gathered by editor Manske both in the course of a 50-state tour across America and through e-mails sent to imfromdriftwood.com. Hundreds of coming-out and living-gay narratives have been winnowed down to 51 queerly compelling mini-autobiographies, some of them heart-wrenching, some of them heartwarming, all of them proclaiming a truth for LGBT youth – that they are not alone. For the most part, though New York, San Francisco and Seattle are represented, these are primarily loud and proud voices from cities and towns not rich in queer resources: Clarksville in Tennessee and Mechanicsville in Virginia, Glasgow in Kentucky and Colby in Kansas, Hollis in New Hampshire and Driftwood in Texas – where 30year-old Manske grew up, wishing on boyhood birthdays for a 1963 copy of Uncanny X-Men #1 – and for a boyfriend. “You saved my life, literally!” one teen writes about a YouTube channel affiliated with the tour – a sentiment just as appropriate for this book. The Autobiography and Sex Life of Andy Warhol, by John Wilcock, edited by Christo-
pher Trela. Trela Media LLC, 264 pages, $45 hardcover. Forty years ago, Wilcock – a near-constant presence at Andy Warhol’s fabled Factory hangout – self-published a bare-bones book of 25 revealing interviews with a pantheon of the artist’s erstwhile companions and colleagues. The book is back, handsomely tarted up by editor/publisher Trela with a wealth of previously unpublished Warholian photos and prefaced with a new scene-setting remembrance by Wilcock, who co-founded Interview with Warhol before eventually leaving for the west coast – where he still lives. Wilcock conducted his interviews in the late 1960s – with Viva nude in her Chelsea Hotel room, with Brigid Polk in the back of a cab, with Gerard Malanga, Taylor Mead and Ultra Violet, performers in Warhol’s early films, and with Factory personalities Paul Morrissey, Lou Reed and Nico. Trela’s foreword notes that the book’s title is somewhat inaccurate: Warhol didn’t write it, so it’s not really an autobiography; and as several interviews reveal, he was reticent about his sex life, so it’s not that racy a tome. But as an eyewitness perspective on Warhol’s eccentricities, enthusiasms and artistic explorations, it’s a true treasure. *Richard Labonte has been reading, editing, selling, and writing about queer literature since the mid-’70s. He can be reached in care of this publication or at BookMarks@qsyndicate.com.
Maplewood, MN—GLBTQ Online High School announces a new spring tuition plan for students planning to enroll for fall 2011. The promotion offers full-time students a rate of $3900 for a full year of courses beginning September 6, 2011. Tuition is reduced from $5,900 to $3,900 for 12 semester courses over 12 months. Students must enroll before June 1st with a 50% deposit. The balance is due by September 6, 2011. The 12-month period of enrollment begins on the day the student starts his or her first class. The school will waive the normal $50 application fee for students enrolling under this plan. Dave Glick, Executive Director, commented on the new tuition plan, saying, “We’re very pleased to be able to offer this new tuition plan. Not only does this make the school even more affordable, but it also aims to create a cohort of students that will be able to learn and grow together throughout the year.” One current student recently commented that the school is providing
the best education opportunity he has ever had. The school hopes that this tuition plan will provide more students with that same experience. For more information, visit GLBTQ Online High School’s website at www.glbtqonlinehighschool.com (www.glbtqonlinehighschool. com), or call 1-877-977-4101. GLBTQ Online High School is a private, nonprofit school based in Maplewood, Minnesota. It is the world’s first online school created specifically for glbtq youth and serves students nationwide. GLBTQ Online High School’s mission is to provide a safe and welcoming educational community that provides a high quality, comprehensive college-preparatory online high school experience for students who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning their sexual orientation and others, using the best technology and techniques of distance education.
The Rainbow Times will proudly design & produce 3 of New England’s Major Pride Guides this year:
Boston Pride Guide • Noho Pride Guide • CT Pride Guide For more information, and to both reserve your space & to secure preferred placement, please contact TRT at TheRainbowTimesNews.com, or call us at 617-444-9618 or 413-282-8881. Additionally for your convenience, our Pride Guide self-pay & self-explanatory advertising form is available online at:
http://www.therainbowtimesmass.com/prideform.html
12 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
Offering up a candid, first hand look at a straight man/transwoman couple
trans opinion
By: Deja Nicole Greenlaw*/TRT Columnist appy Valentine’s Day everyone! Valentine’s Day is a wonderful day that you can celebrate with the one you love! Jewelry, flowers, cards, chocolate and going out to dinner are on most people’s mind that day along with sharing the wonderful love that drew you two together and that keeps you two together. There’s something special about this day and it belongs to those who have that special someone in their life! What about those of us who do not have that special someone in their life? Remember the quiet child in grammar school who didn’t receive any valentine cards when everyone else received many? Well, there are a lot of us out there who will not receive any cards, or flowers, or chocolate that day. It’s a tough day for us who are without someone. Being transgender doesn’t exactly help either. Don’t get me wrong, there are transgenders who do have that special someone in their life and I applaud them but there are many of us who are not in a relationship. I have lived as a straight male and now as a transwoman and believe me; it is much easier for a straight man when it comes to finding that special someone. In my case, I make it even harder as I would like to be with a straight man as my love. It doesn’t take a news flash to realize that most straight men don’t want anything to do with a transwoman as a partner. There are, however, many straight men who do want to be with me, sort of anyway. Please let me explain. I have been contacted by dozens of men who have shown an interest in me. They are interested in being with a girl with that special “something extra.” No, these are not gay men, but actual straight men. One of my boyfriends once said: “Deja, I like women. If I were gay I would want
H
a man who looks like a man and acts like a man, but I do not want one of those. I want a woman and I don’t care what her ‘plumbing’ is.” All of the men that I have known who like transwomen also like genetic women. They just simply like women. I think that Deja Nicole Greenlaw only one man that I met admitted that he was bisexual. All of the rest have never been with a man. So there are men out there who like transwomen. So, what’s the problem? I have thought about this and I have talked to my boyfriends and girlfriends about it and I came up with an answer to that question. For a straight man to be seen with a transwoman in public he must be very secure in his sexuality and he must not care what others say about him. Most straight men are not secure enough and worry as to what is said about them in any reference to their sexuality. If a man can get by these two deterrents, then he has others to deal with. If a man is open enough about dating a transwoman he will get questions from his straight friends such as “Why are you going out with her?” “Why don’t you go out with a ‘real girl’?” And, one of my favorites, “Is she ‘bigger’ than you?” Let’s face it; most straight people cannot understand why someone would go out with a transperson. The man has to deal with social stigma, gay issues and how to explain his decision to date a transwoman. What can he say in his defense? There are some very good points that favor him dating a
transwoman. He may tell his friends that he connects her, that he loves her, that she represents the best of both worlds to him, that she may not be as high maintenance as some genetic women seem to be, that her interests may coincide with his, that she can communicate the same way that he does, that they have common experiences growing up, that they can understand each other and that she downright turns him on! But will his straight friends understand these valid points? Can they think outside of the box? The answers are sadly, “no and no” in almost all cases. So he dates a transwoman anyway because she is who he wants, but he will see her only a certain distance away from his home town, away from his friends, away from his family etc. I’ve personally only been with one man in public in his hometown and as a guest in his home. Yes, the people where he shops have seen me and so have his neighbors who live in the same apartment complex as he does but even he receives static from his friends and he will never, ever introduce me to his parents. It’s just too much to deal with, much like my own issues with my own friends and family members who don’t quite grasp the idea of me being a transwoman. Yes, he has the same problems and issues that I have/had. We are both really in the same boat! I still do see him a few times a year but we live too far apart from each other and his work hours are very demanding so we do date other people now and then. I have gone out on several dates with men but I have also been stood up several times. I realize that straight men do stand up genetic women but I think that my number of “stood up” occurrences is greater because of the insecurities of the man. I have met many, many men online who seem very interested in me and everything seems wonderful until we decide to meet. He doesn’t show up! Why? He may have second thoughts.
He may suddenly question his own sexuality. He might think about what may happen if someone he knows sees us together. What will he say? All of a sudden all of these questions and issues hit him at once and he panics, Simple solution, he doesn’t show. Fantasy may be fine for him but it’s not what I want. I pretty much understand all of these issues that men have, after all, I have come from the straight community and I know its gender norms and expectations. It is not easy for a man to be brave enough to rise above these issues, although I have met a few who have done so. One of my girlfriends has a man who is so secure that he wants to spread the information that there are men out there who love transwomen and that it should be acceptable in society to do so. He dreams of giving seminars to support his views and to get the word out that it’s ok for a straight man to date a transwoman. Kudos to this man! One of my boyfriends was thinking of having an internet site for all of those men who want to date transwomen and show the “hows, whys and the problems that might arise while dating us.” I loved his idea! However, there is currently a need for the straight/trans couple to be closeted. I know of a girl who lives with her boyfriend but they never go out in public together. “Sigh!” As Kermit the frog always says “It ain’t easy being green.” Yes, it does seem like we will need some time on this one but I do have high hopes for the future! So, Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you who have your sweeties with you and a huge smile to those who are in a relationship and at least one of you is a transgender person! Bless you and enjoy this wonderful day! *Deja Nicole Greenlaw is a local transwoman who has 3 grown children and works at a local Fortune 500 company. She can be contacted at dejavudeja@sbcglobal.net.
“My mother actually brought up trans stuff with me and asked questions...” Where can I direct her? By: Lorelei Erisis*/TRT Columnist Dear Lorelei, So apparently the ice maker in hell may be churning a cube after all. My mother actually brought up trans stuff with me and asked me questions about it. Though this is probably good news, I’m not going to get my hopes up. This is the first time in my life she’s actually been remotely interested in my life, which is really an understatement. What resources would be recommended?? She wants to try the web approach before talking to anyone, but she’s wanting information for mothers of transpersons. Any suggestions? Anything would be helpful. She is really introverted so web stuff would be her desired route for now. —Japheth Okay, you know, I honestly thought this was going to be easier. I read this question and BAM!, I knew it was the right one for this month’s column. I thought, “This’ll be easy, I’m trans, I’ve got a Mom, I had to do this. I know this.” But I kept trying to start and just not getting
anywhere. Moms are a tricky thing, really. We all have quirks about our Mom’s and our relationships with them that feel so particular. Ways we react to each other that are just unique; ways we know our Mom’s that no one else does. For instance, my own Mom is the sort of person who can watch a Lifetime Original movie and not only not have to fight down the urge to throw things at the screen and wish horrible Voodoo curses upon the writers (my reaction), but actually enjoy it and even get all teary eyed. Whereas, I tend to favor independent densely plotted, obscurely surreal, Black Comedies. So you would not expect that one of the things we seem to bond over is a mutual love of Big-Budget, effects laden, whiz-bang, blow ’em-up Hollywood spectacles! You’d never guess this from meeting us. So when it comes to giving advice about someone else’s Mom, I was oddly hesitant. Then I remembered an important thing. I’m an advice columnist! Taking that leap is what I do. So, my friend Japheth, here is my advice. First of all, I recommend brushing up on your own Trans 101. It’s easy to feel like, being actually trans and all, that you have all the answers if they’d just ask. But trust me, if you’re about to send your Mom out there into the wilds of the Internet, she’s going to come back at you with some pretty wacky stuff. Your job is to be one step ahead of her and as familiar with what she might find as possible. It’s also quite likely that you will be asked to define things that you never really felt the need to try to. Things like, “How do you
know you’re a man/a woman/not-any-gender-at-all?” (Pick your adventure and proceed to page 23, 5, or 42) Or my personal favorite, “Was this because of something I did?” (No Mom it wasn’t. I swear, I promise!!-LE) Getting on to the Lorelei Erisis resources, first I am pretty much obligated to recommend checking out my own Mom, Linda Carragher Bourne’s column in the online version of TRT, “Ask A TransMom.” I’m kinda biased, but I think she’s pretty cool and wicked smart. She’ll be able to answer your Mom’s questions from the perspective of someone who has been there! Also, I highly recommend that you point your Mom towards PFLAG. The organization known formally as “Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays” has done a lot of good work reaching out to transgender people and their PFFs. Send her to the website, PFLAG.org and tell her to click the “Transgender” tab to go to TNET, PFLAG’s Transgender Network. There she’ll find all manner of articles, FAQs, terminology and links to local chapters for when she’s ready for offline support. From there you might also want to point her towards the website, “Transsexual Road Map,” (tsroadmap.com). It’s a site aimed primarily at Transsexuals, with all kinds of nuts and bolts information of the kind that transfolks need and parents may want to know. It’s got a simple layout, user-friendly design, balanced tone and it’s
well-sourced with over 1,500 pages of info and growing! I’ve dropped the name of this website so often in this column that I think it’s starting to show that I’m really kind of a fan girl for the site and its creator, Andrea James. Not only is it the first thing I encountered when I went looking for info myself, but it’s also one of the oldest, continuously maintained websites on the internet! Plus Andrea James herself is kind of awesome! She’s not only beautiful and smart; she’s a writer, director, producer, activist and frequent guest blogger for my favorite non-trans website, BoingBoing.net. Getting back on track, there are lots of other places on the net, but the key Japheth is also not to totally overwhelm your Mom. Too many online resources will just send her down a rabbit-hole filled with too much flash animation, sparkles and pink butterflies. And while, I will give a shout out to the plethora of good resources available from “Laura’s Playground,” (lauras-playground.com), that’s as far down into the Pastel-Flash Underground as I’m willing to go. So, before I send you off with a truckload of links for your Mom, I would also like to recommend a book. (Shock, horror!) “Gender Outlaw” by Kate Bornstein was a book that was pivotal for me as a young transwoman and it was the book I gave to my own Mom. Kate Bornstein is an excellent writer and her book makes a good primer for anyone just entering this strange and topsy-turvy world of transgender. Good luck! Slainte! *Lorelei Erisis, former Miss Trans New England, can be contacted at: loreleierisis@therainbowtimesmass.com.
HRC announces “Back to Work” training program for Transgender job seekers to begin in Boston Free seminar helps address significant hiring bias WASHINGTON, DC—The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender civil rights organization, announced today it will hold the inaugural event of its Back to Work project in Boston on February 26-27, 2011. The Back to Work project empowers transgender people who are unemployed or underemployed to find jobs that match their expertise and experience by providing them with essential skills needed to make the most of the job market. The Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition (MTPC), the Boston Alliance of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Youth (BAGLY), AIDS Action Committee of Massachusetts (AAC) and MassEquality are cosponsors of the event, which will be hosted by AIDS Action Committee of Massachusetts. Allyson Robinson, HRC’s associate director of diversity, said the Back to Work seminars address a critical need. “Because of the widespread prejudice we face, transgender youth and adults experience unemployment at twice the rate of their fellow citizens and one in five have been homeless,” said Robinson. “Transgender people make great employees, but they need superior, specialized job hunting skills to help overcome the bias against us in hiring.” Attendance at the Back to Work seminar is free and open to any unemployed or underemployed transgender person. In addition, the first 30 registrants for the seminar will receive, also free of cost, a suite of individualized, open-ended services after the seminar from a credentialed, experienced career coach to help them navigate their own job search. “Not only do we need to pass the Transgender
Equal Rights Bill for employment non-discrimination protections here in Massachusetts, but also we need to get our transgender youth and adults back to work and give them the tools to do so,” said Gunner Scott, executive director of the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition. Participants in the two-day seminar will be trained in refining their career focus, preparing a résumé, researching the job market, building a professional network and interviewing techniques. The Foundation for New Directions (FND), a non-profit, transgender-owned career coaching organization based in Atlanta, Georgia, will provide the training. Sharon Skipper, CEO of FND, said: “We are the only national firm that offers professional job search assistance specifically to transgender individuals. With 25 years of experience in helping those in the LGBT community to successfully start second careers in rewarding positions, we’re confident the techniques we teach provide a real competitive advantage to our clients. A successful job search requires confidence, research, marketability and presentation and we cover all of that and much more.” Registration for the Back to Work seminar in Boston will take place via the program’s website, www.hrc.org/backtowork. The Human Rights Campaign is America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality. By inspiring and engaging all Americans, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBT citizens and realize a nation that achieves fundamental fairness and equality for all.
www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • 13 Queeries from page 2 closeted, but as you can see, it gets mucked up when you’re asking friends to be accomplices. (And a technical pointer: Remember that you can always de-tag yourself from a photo.)
“Confronting a Cheater”
Q: I really need some advice. I think my boyfriend is cheating on me and sleeping with other guys behind my back. When we first got together we decided that we weren’t going to have an open relationship. Recently he said he would have no problem if I wanted to sleep with other guys – as long as I told him first. That made me suspicious so I did something I probably shouldn’t have: I logged into his Facebook account and found an incriminating message. I know we need to talk but I am really bad with confrontation. What should I do? A: Very few of us like the idea of confrontation, but when it comes to questions about monogamy and sexual health, you really have no choice. This doesn’t mean you need to come at him like a bat out of hell, but you do need to express your point of view and ask the important questions. The ability to do so is really important for your own self-respect. Perhaps there’s a middle ground that you’d be comfortable with? Many couples create rules in situations like this: No tricking in your own bed, for instance; it’s okay if one of you is out of town; or the number of liaisons is limited to prevent a romantic attachment. On the other hand, you may have no interest at all in anything but monogamy—as per your original agreement. Either way, you need to talk together and make some mutually comfortable decisions. If you do agree to have some new openness in your relationship, by the way, remember that you’ll need to come to some clear understanding of
what each of you considers safer sex; there are about as many different definitions of that as there are couples. As for your logging into your boyfriend’s Facebook account: That’s a form of cheating, too. Leveling with him about your actions may help him to do the same.
“He’s never had sex before”
Q: I’ve been going out with a guy who’s never had sex before with a man and is more than a little apprehensive. We’re really into each other, but to tell you the truth I’m a little nervous myself at the thought of initiating a virgin. I just want to make sure to handle things right. Do you have any advice for me? A: There’s a special responsibility in being someone’s “first.” I don’t know about you, but I still remember my very first time—and let me just say I was a nervous wreck. Since you already know that your fella is anxious, see if you can tease out what’s on his mind. Often a first timer’s main concern is that he’ll do something “wrong.” If you can help your new lover realize that it’s not about technical performance but rather emotional connection, you’ll both benefit. Also, let him know that he can determine the pace. Still, there will likely be some teachable moments as he tries new things on for size. I wouldn’t make corrections or suggestions in the heat of the moment, but instead maybe chat a bit later on if you feel the need. One last thing: Be sure to lead by example when it comes to the topic of safer sex. *Steven Petrow is a regular contributor to 365gay.com, GayWeddings.com and the author of the forthcoming, “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners” (www. gaymanners.com). Send him your questions: ask@gaymanners.com.
14 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
To Cook is To Love: A Foodies Journal
Valentine’s Gifts from page 7
Foreplay begins in the kitchen – a primer on aphrodisiacs photo: rachel power
¡mucho gusto!
By: John Verlinden/TRT Cuisine Columnist alentine’s D a y , 2010 – for two weeks you planned – fine wine, a light dinner … then, well you know what you wanted then. Things started so well; dinner was a big hit. But, when you dimmed the lights and leaned into your beloved for a kiss, instead of sweet nothings your ears got snores. Sound familiar? Well, never again, dammit! Chef Johnny’s here with advice to ensure next time you throw an intimate dinner party; you get your hostess gift in the bedroom. The answer, isn’t candy or flowers, it’s aphrodisiacs. And the formula’s simple: increase the aphrodisiacs in your meal, increase your chances. Suggesting you introduce aphrodisiacs into your cooking does not mean stirring a viagra-rhino hornSpanish fly cocktail into your guest’s mashed potatoes. I want you to bring nature’s fresh aphrodisiacs into your kitchen. Abundant and available everywhere, some even look the part. Take avocados, for exam-
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ple. The sexiest fruit alive – curvaceous shape, the big, hard pit embedded in silky flesh, that rich and decadent taste. I get hot and bothered just writing about them. Then there’s papayas – don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. And, how about peanuts – lip-shaped shell with two darling little nuts inside? Whew! These gifts from nature nourish our bodies, excite the senses and enliven our minds. Make them part of your regular diet. That’s right; aphrodisiacs aren’t just for the other people – the poor wretch you wish to bend to your will. Aphrodisiacs are also for you. They’ll make you hotter, sexier, and more irresistible. Think about it – we are what we eat! Skeptics say: “no food can make me do something I don’t want to do.” Well, of course not. Natural aphrodisiacs just make you want to do it! Or, you’ll here: “there’s no scientific evidence that consumption of any food arouses warm feelings or stimulates naughty thoughts.” To this, I simply say it’s not what you have; it’s what you do with it. A boiled potato isn’t an aphrodisiac, but a French fry can be a powerful one – especially when shared. What’s your favorite aphrodisiac? Got a story to share? Drop me a line at john@muchogusto. com or visit the food forum on my website: www.muchogusto.com. Until next time – ¡Mucho Gusto!, ¡Muchas Gracias! y ¡Buen Provecho!
Forbidden Romance
Planning a low-key, lady-lovin’ February 14th at home? Here’s what you do: Spark up a couple candles, set the table with her favorite dishes and pour a few glasses of red. But that’s just the beginning. Afterward, surprise her with the Nicole Conn Romance Pack from Wolfe Video, featuring three great girl-ongirl romance titles from the iconic filmmaker, including “Claire of the Moon,” “Cynara” and “Elena Undone.” Cuddle up in something sexy and let the evening unfold. All over the house. ($34.95; WolfeVideo.com)
stop and say hi
SEALED WITH A KISS
Known the world over for its indulgent outlook on decadent confections, Godiva recently launched a line of Chocolate Infused Vodka, a five-times distilled, ultra-premium spirit, the taste of which will speak for itself. So here’s a recipe: Combine one ounce of Godiva Chocolate Raspberry Infused Vodka with a half-ounce of Crème de Cassis in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake well and strain into a champagne flute. Top off with chilled bubbly. Serve with a smooch. ($29.99)
BARELY THERE
Cheeky Valentine
There’s no shortage (pun totally intended) in this year’s V-Day selection from aussieBum. Whether your guy’s a hipster in the streets but a freak in the sheets, prefers boxers of briefs, or needs a little help from underneath, there’s a pair of ’wear from Down Under sure to please his package. Styles include WJ Pro, which will give his nethers the ultimate upgrade; boxers adorned with amorous rabbits; Classics available in 14 different colors; and a sporty tank to help him sop up all that sweat – inside and outside of the bedroom. ($19.25$40; aussieBum.com)
Platter Flattery
Etsy aficionado Jennifer Matlack breathes new, functional life into vintage, silver-plated trays, bowls, plates and platters by selfstamping handpicked pieces with words and phrases like “Love,” “Adore,” and “Be True.” Smaller sizes are about four inches in diameter while larger works of art serve as true serving dishes with 12-inch diameters. They’re perfectly sized to hold earrings, rings, perfume bottles, keys, wallets and change. They can hold food too, like, say, chocolate truffles or another aphrodisiac. Discovered at estate sales and flea markets, each piece is one of a kind in shape, amount of tarnish (or shine!) and design. ($8-$45; Etsy.com/shop/daisychestnut)
With sassy sayings like “Trophy Wife,” “Just Married,” “Bottoms Up,” and “Domestic Diva,” Smart Ass Thongs are perfect for that playful couple that never takes themselves too seriously. Undies feature an optimal rise and a floss width that’s just right – not too wide or narrow. Colors vary per message, but include black, periwinkle and hot pink. Each pair comes beautifully packaged and ready for giving. Enter coupon code PAPERROXSCISSORS at checkout to receive a 20% discount. ($20; SmartAssGifts.com)
HEAVY HEARTED
Business meets pleasure with the Museum of Craft and Design’s set of paperweights from master craftswoman Judy Vilmain. At two inches, her Square Heart is cast in pewter with a small enameled red heart nestled inside to keep your love safe. For the even older fashioned, the pewter Love Letters is just right for that special someone who prefers handwritten forget-menots to fleeting sexts. Simply designed, both pieces embody the whimsy, inspiration and function with which we should all conduct our relationships. ($40; shop.sfmcd.org) *Mikey Rox’s gift guides – which include Mikey Rox’s Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift Giving at holiday time – are the only such guides syndicated in LGBT publications across the country. If you have a product that you’d like to see featured in the future, contact Mikey at mikey@paperroxscissors.com.
www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • 15
Bryan Couzens: Businessman who looks beyond the balance sheet
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raisers. I would be lost without them.” LGBT community, he is most proud of the By: Tynan Power/TRT Reporter If Couzens has found a key to being a busi- work he has done with Connecticut Pride since The line-up of projects Bryan Couzens juggles would be enough to overwhelm ness owner who also contributes to the com- 2002. munity, it’s being able to keep self-interest in “It’s been very difficult to build up Connectia lesser man. The owner of Chez Est perspective. cut Pride for many reasons. Connecticut Pride in Hartford, Couzens has three “Help the people in need, don’t al- is basically the _big_ party held on one day to major projects in the works at ways put yourself first, and remem- celebrate a year of very hard work.” the Chez, is starting a sepaber, it’s _not_ always about the Despite the fact that so much work goes into rate business and is workmoney,” he says. “In this econ- an event that lasts only six or seven hours, ing with a family member omy, where so many people are Couzens thinks it is worth it. on another one. He stays jobless, and barely making ends “It is really meant for people to be theminvolved in many orgameet, it’s good to do things for selves and not feel ashamed or embarrassed nizations for which the others and not always for yourself. about who they are or what they believe in.” Chez does monthly fund- H Don’t get me These days, Couzens raisers, like the Imperial HH H wrong, it’s very feels there is an acute Court of Connecticut and Our H H H H difficult to keep “ Parents need to realize need for places where Companions Animal Sanctuary. any small business open LGBTQ people can be Somehow he manages to keep all those it’s too late to start safe and proud. balls in the air, while serving as presi- today, but sometimes good deeds are rewarded “With the huge increase dent of Connecticut Pride. accepting their children in teen suicides and all “My plate is very full,” Couzens acknowl- in other ways. I am forthe media coverage on and understanding edges. “I learned a long time ago not to put all tunate to be in a safe and bullying, it’s more imyour eggs in one basket—but don’t let them sit stable position. I like to help others, and using them the day after they portant than ever for peoaround too long, either.” ple to take part in some of “I cannot just sit around and do nothing, I Chez to do various fundbury them.” the groups out there like would go crazy—er, crazier!” Couzens jokes. raisers and benefits is a PFLAG and GLAD.” “I try to get involved in many different things great way to meet new people and show full out support.” Couzens thinks LGBTQ people may not to keep busy.” Couzens credits Chez Est’s former owner achieve full equality in his lifetime. “But I am Couzens believes that staying active and involved is the best advice for anyone who wants with being a great role model and a great sup- sure it will happen someday,” he says. port to the LGBT community. Change, after all, is already taking place. to make a difference. “Gary Bechard has been most influential to “The younger generations are more accept“It does not matter what you do, just do something. Pick something you find interesting and me in all my years at Chez,” Couzens says. “As ing,” he notes. “More and more states are passask what you can do to help. Everyone needs a ‘straight owner,’ I cannot name anyone else ing laws and allowing the LGBT community help,” Couzens says. “Go to fundraisers, even who has done more for the LGBT community. to feel more accepted and more comfortable. if you cannot help financially. There are always If you really want a hero, it would be Gary. No More restaurants and bars are becoming poputhings you can do. I am very lucky to have a one else would have gone through what he did lar as meeting places. People seem to be comhandful of people that go so far above and be- over the years to keep Chez and all his other fortable going out in public and not worrying about what others will think or say.” yond to help me when we do benefits and fund- bars open, if he did not care.” As for Couzens’ own contribution to the The sticking points, though, seem to Couzens
Bryan Couzens
Photo: glenn koetzner
to be closer to home. “Many issues come from family—overcoming what seems to be impossible for some people. How you are brought up usually is where people need to start. PFLAG is an amazing organization for families to get involved in, to help understand their children and/or friends.” “Parents need to realize,” Couzen says, “it’s too late to start accepting their children and understanding them the day after they bury them.”
16 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
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The Real L Word’s Tracy Ryerson & Stamie Karakasidis speak on love, life By: Clara Lefton/TRT Reporter The Real L Word co-stars Tracy Ryerson & Stamie Karakasidis took their relationship onscreen last January through April for Ilene Chaiken’s latest production. The couple became an instant hit with viewers and Tracy was recently named SheWired’s Gay Woman of the Year. Despite the show’s success, the couple felt it was too difficult to continue participating on the show’s second season while balancing three children and jobs. “We’re glad they renewed the show—because visibility matters—and wish everyone the best of luck,” says Ryerson. “They are filming the second season as we speak! Cameras are following Whitney and her friends.” Recently the two had an exclusive interview with The Rainbow Times.
www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • 17
era, but I made the decision before taping that the two be very separate, due to confidentiality. CL: Where in New Jersey are you from? Did you ever spend any portion of time in the New England area? Or were you more a New York City/New Jersey girl? What sent you across the country to California? TR: I was born in Morristown but grew up a few miles away in Dover, NJ. I lived in Northern Jersey until I left for college in Miami. I was definitely more of [an] NYC girl, but occasionally made my way to the slopes in Vermont for some snowboarding. Other than that, I’ve been to Provincetown and the casinos in Connecticut. I would have loved to spend some time in Boston as a kid, but my father was such a big NY Yankees fan, that we weren’t allowed to set foot on Red Sox soil. Go Yankees!
Tracy: Clara Lefton: How did CL: Did you have a mesyou first hear about the sage you wanted to send, show and tryout? perhaps as a role model, Tracy Ryerson: At the to the queer community time, I was working beby participating on the hind-the-scenes for Jerry show? Weintraub Productions TR: A large part of the at Warner Bros. A few reason that I decided months prior to being to participate was the asked to come in [and] fact that taking part in a I saw a press release television show like this about the Showtime gives you a platform to show. I thought it was spread positivity. Since a great idea, but had no I’ve come out, I’ve been intention of putting my surprised to see the lack hat in the ring. Turns out of role models in our that my roommate, a TV Photo: faith white community. Now, more producer, an event planthan ever, we’re realizner, and a friend put my Stamie Karakasidis & Tracy Ryerson ing that LGBT visibility name in the mix and I agreed get on tape. Honestly, I had tons of ques- matters. If I can help one kid who’s struggling tions ready to fire at the producers, but all turned with his or her sexuality, then I know I’ve made quickly in the room, and the next thing I knew an impact. I enjoy challenging stereotypes and I was babbling on and on about my life as a les- helping to show the world that we have a voice bian living in Los Angeles. It was like I got my as well, but mostly, we’re just like everyone else. Equal. therapy session for free! CL: How exactly are you involved in the film CL: What’s the strangest fan experience you’ve had so far? Any that standout? industry? TR: As a development executive at Jerry Wein- TR: There have been a few strange experiences traub Productions on the Warner Bros, my job but the one that stands out happened in Houston, was to turn ideas into entertainment. I find un- TX. A young woman came up to me, got on one produced screenplays or books, attach talent, knee, and asked me to marry her! Stamie was package the project, and sell to a studio or net- also proposed to on the same trip, except that she work. It’s a job that requires a lot of patience, was presented a cool ring pop. networking, and passion. I love it. Currently, CL: The episode featuring mom was an emoI’m pitching a few reality shows, a TV series, tional one for viewers and yourself, has your reand writing a book. Creativity excites me. It was lationship with her progressed any further since? hard to not include my professional life on camSee Tracy & Stamie on page 21
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RainbowTimes The
• Your LGBTQ News in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut & Vermont •
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heroes! TRT
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We regret misinforming our readers: The Rainbow Times’ January 6February 2, 2011 issue on page 16, under “Connecticut News” incorrectly reported “The Imperial Court of Rhode Island is holding their annual Coronation... etc.” The right information should have read: “The Imperial Court of All Connecticut” is holding their annual Coronation … etc. We thank Mr. Dan McCarthy, Vice President, Board of Directors, Imperial Sovereign Court of All Connecticut, for calling our attention to this error and we regret that such information was published. —The Editor
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excitement and sportsmanship. Whether cheering for the powerhouses or the underdog, it is an experience like no other and an event that no fan wants to miss. There are four first-round games on Friday, March 4 and four secondround games on Saturday, March 5. The quarterfinals will be held on Sunday, March 6 and the semifinals will take place Monday, March 7. The final game will be televised on ESPN at 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday, March 8. Tickets can be bought at www. BIGEAST.org or ticketmaster.com. Between the games, there is plenty to do in Hartford and the Greater Hartford Convention and Visitors Bureau (GHVB) has some ideas on how to do that at www.enjoyhartford.com. The BIG EAST Women’s Basketball Championship FanFest is a fun-filled fan area located in the XL Center Atrium during the tournament. The FanFest provides fans entertainment and opportunity to get to know the local businesses and organizations who display at the event. The FanFest is a tremendous exposure opportunity for local companies. For more information, fans can log onto www.BIGEAST.org and click on the women’s basketball Championship Central page, a one-stop location for all needs involving the competition.
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tion of true talent. “Now that I’m a senior, I’ve gotten a chance to look to sit back and reflect on my experience being a part of the BIG EAST,” said BIG EAST Preseason Player of the Year Maya Moore at the 2010 BIG EAST Women’s Basketball Media Day. “It’s been more than I could have imagined. The fact that we had seven former and current players on that World Championship team, coached by UConn’s Geno Auriemma along with DePaul’s Doug Bruno, speaks to the quality and competitiveness of our conference.” The BIG EAST Women’s Basketball Championship is the pinnacle of action, competition,
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HARTFORD, CT—For people who enjoy watching elite basketball, there is a great opportunity coming to Hartford this March. The BIG EAST Women’s Basketball Championship will be held at the XL Center in Hartford, Conn. on March 4-8. All 16 teams in the BIG EAST Conference will advance to the Championship, making it a jam-packed weekend with plenty of college basketball action. Women’s basketball has grown in leaps and bounds over the last few years and continues to expand, gaining recognition and exposure. The BIG EAST is leading the pack, helping to create a name and identity for the sport. Last year, seven BIG EAST teams were selected to the NCAA Women’s Basketball Championship, tying for the most of any conference. Over the last four years, BIG EAST teams have made 30 NCAA appearances, proving that the quality of competition is strong. The women’s game continues to shatter the preconceived notions of what females can do in athletic settings. The sport is changing the view of many people and as the exposure expands, so does the apprecia-
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18 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
Know someone who works for the LGBT community and who gives endlessly and selflessly to everyone?
Nominate them to be our
next TRT Hero!
Please send your nominations to: editor@therainbowtimesnews.com
DO WE HAVE A SEASON FOR YOU
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THE FAC! WOW! WOW! The@UMASS Fine Arts Center W WOW!
BRINGING WORLD ARTISTS TO THE VALLEY FOR 36 YEARS! PHOTO: J HENRY FAIR
ACOUSTIC AFRICA
Wed., March 2, 7:30PM, Concert Hall
Acoustic Africa boasts the exhilarating musical flavors of a continent as performed by three of its most popular and talented musicians. The guitar styles of Habib Koité, Oliver Mtukudzi and Afel Bocoum draws rhythms and melodies from their local musical heritage and elicits blues notes to capture a distinctly African experience. Sponsored by: Baystate Heart & Vascular Program, Preview Magazine, and 93.9 The River
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ST. LOUIS SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
David Robertson - Music Director and Conductor
Sun., March 6, 7PM, Concert Hall
FEATURING:
Violinist
LEILA JOSEFOWICZ
Recognized internationally as an ensemble of the highest caliber while Maestro David Robertson captures the audience’s attention whenever he stands at the podium. Few conductors are as riveting, or make the concert experience so much fun. The program includes Vaughn-Williams’ Variations on a Theme of Thomas Tallis, John Adams’ Dr. Atomic Symphony and Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6. Sponsored by: Applewood & WGBY TV57
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www.therainbowtimesnews.com • The Rainbow Times • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • 19
Deep Inside Hollywood: Glee’s Colfer takes advantage of open window By: Romeo San Vicente* /Special for TRT
in 1963 she made a decision that caused outrage across Italy: she had a baby with a married man. But in keeping with her liberated persona, she kept her head held high and remained a beloved figure to her fans. Sounds like a movie, right? It’s going to be, thanks to Pedro Almodovar, a man whose powerful female-centric stories have made him one of the world’s most acclaimed directors. At the moment Marisa Paredes, one of Almodovar’s go-to actresses, is set to star and production should go into full swing as promotion for his latest feature, the Antonio Banderas-starring The Skin That I Inhabit, winds down.
Chris Colfer strikes with Lightning Actors’ shelf-lives can be short, so it’s never wrong to take advantage of any window of career heat. That’s the wisdom Glee cast member and recent Golden GlobeRomeo San Vicente winner Chris Colfer is living by these days; he’s all set to make his first film, a comedy titled Struck by Lightning. And by “his,” that means he wrote it in addition to planning to star. Director Brian Dannelly (Saved! United States of Tara) will take the helm this summer while Colfer makes good use of his small-screen hiatus. The project is reported to be a John Hughes-like high school outing, a welcome thing, since Hughes never included gay characters in his ’80s classics. (No, Duckie doesn’t count. Neither does Mary Stuart Masteron in Some Kind of Wonderful.) And if the film turns out to be gay teen classic, then all the better. Beautiful Thing could use some company Photo: Justin Lubin/Fox. in that category. Chris Colfer Almodovar directing biopic of singer you’ve never heard of Italian pop star Mina was a very big deal in Europe in the 1960s and ’70s. Think of her as the Madonna of her moment, courting controversy and shaking her body on TV when proper young women didn’t do that sort of thing. And
Finally: A lesbian sitcom on a major network. Maybe. As NBC ushers in a new network chief, Bob Greenblatt, another change is possibly in the air. I Hate That I Love You, from former Will & Grace producer Jhoni Marchenko, is going to pilot. That’s typical news at this time of year, but what makes Hate different is that if it goes to series it will be the first primetime, major network sitcom about lesbians. Here’s the logline: “A straight couple introduces two of its lesbian friends to one another and what results is both instant attraction and a pregnancy.” There’s no casting news yet, but it’s still an exciting development, one that’s long overdue in this post L-Word world. Suggestion for the creators: If they didn’t both have to be white bread safe and super-lipsticky that would give you even more cred among actual lesbians, but then again they’ll be sure to tell you that themselves should you wind up making that error in judgment.
The Rainbow Times will proudly design and produce 3 of New England’s Major Pride Guides this year: The Boston Pride Guide, The Noho Pride Guide, and The CT Pride Guide. For more information, and to both reserve your space & secure preferred placement, please contact TRT at
TheRainbowTimesNews.com or call 617-444-9618 or 413-282-8881.
41st
30th
30th Additionally for your convenience, our Pride Guide self-pay & self-explanatory advertising form is available online at:
http://www.therainbowtimesmass.com/prideform.html
MTV gets better with Dan Savage MTV might be feeling the heat of advertiser disapproval right now with its decision to air the sexually charged teen series Skins, but that isn’t stopping them from moving forward with a pilot from Savage Love’s Dan Savage, the longtime sex advice columnist from Seattle’s The Stranger and The Onion’s AV Club. The man who created the “It Gets Better” campaign that saw gay adults making videos to encourage younger gay and lesbian people not to give up hope for a better future, Savage will pattern the show’s pilot on his college campus lecture tour in which he fielded questions from the post-
adolescent audience. And if you’ve seen him speak publicly or read his column, you know that his brand of sex advice is unflinchingly honest and almost always graphic. Makes you wonder how much language bleeping MTV is prepared to do in the name of authenticity. No news on when the show may air, but brace yourself when it does. *Romeo San Vicente gives out free sex advice but it’s always hands-on, never hypothetical. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.
20 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
ri news
NOM-RI Airs Television Commercial Creep of the Week: Let’s talk about Gordon ence legislators to put the issue of same-sex marBy: Joe Siegel/TRT Reporter Klingenschmitt and his gay exorcism ideas The Rhode Island chapter of the National riage on a ballot is not working. Organization for Marriage (NOM) is airing a television commercial in an effort to prevent a same-sex marriage bill from being passed by the state’s General Assembly. Two bills have been introduced which would allow gay and lesbian couples to exchange marriage vows. NOM’s 30-second television ad takes aim at Governor Lincoln Chafee (I) who urged legislators to pass a marriage equality bill soon. Former Governor Don Carcieri, whose two terms in office ended in January, was an outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage. Carcieri even endorsed the efforts of NOM to prevent gays and lesbians from getting married in the state. “Lincoln Chafee got just 36% of the vote in the recent election, and fewer popular votes than the Cool Moose Party’s candidate for Lieutenant Governor,” said Christopher Plante, Executive Director of NOM-RI. “Our message is that getting 36 percent of the vote is no mandate to redefine the institution of marriage for all of Rhode Island society.” “Eighty percent of Rhode Islanders want the chance to vote on marriage, just as voters in 31 other states have done,” the NOM ad states. It calls on Rhode Islanders to call Chafee’s office, and that of House Speaker Fox and Senate President Theresa Paiva-Weed to express their views. The NOM-RI advertisement is running statewide on broadcast and cable stations. The group is spending in excess of $100,000 on the advertisement. However, advocates for marriage equality remain skeptical about NOM’s efforts. Kathy Kushnir, MERI’s Executive Director, said the NOM commercial ignores the main issue at stake: bringing equality to gay and lesbian couples. Kushnir noted that NOM’s campaign to influ-
“The people of Rhode Island understand that what they have done over the last election cycle was to send equality supporters to the State House,” Kushnir said, adding members of the LGBT community and their allies were contacting their elected representatives about passing a samesex marriage bill. “No more waiting, no more delaying, no more denying civil rights for same-sex couples,” Kushnir added. “The legislature can right that wrong immediately and that’s what the people are asking them to do.” MERI has no plans to run any advertisements on television, preferring to focus their efforts on lobbying legislators. However, a stinging rebuttal of the NOM ad was produced by a pro-LGBT organization, Stop8.org. The video featuring Matt Baume can be seen on You Tube. “Same-sex marriage enshrines a tragic situation into law,” Plante says in the video. Some of the state’s religious leaders have expressed their scorn for Chafee’s support of samesex marriage. Bishop Thomas Tobin, the head of the Providence Archdiocese, criticized Chafee in a column titled “Has Our State Has Lost Its Soul?” Tobin wrote: “We have a ton of problems in our state – a depressed economy, a fragile social service network, a distressed public education system, the demise of the family, a wave of urban crime and domestic violence, and what promises to be an intense and divisive debate created by the ill-advised desire to redefine marriage.” A 2010 poll commissioned by MERI showed that 59 percent of Rhode Islanders support extending marriage rights to same-sex couples.
top 10 best seller videos Courtesy: wolfevideo.com
Lesbian Top 10 1. Elena Undone 2. A Marine Story 3. Room in Rome 4. Nicole Conn Romance Pack 5. The Four-Faced Liar 6. My Normal 7. The Kids Are All Right 8. The Real L Word Complete First Season 9. Lovers & Friends Season 3 10. And Then Came Lola
Gay Top 10 1. Role/Play 2. Prayers for Bobby 3. Plan B 4. Howl 5. Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work 6. Pornography: A Thriller 7. Is It Just Me? 8. David’s Birthday 9. A Marine Story 10. Vampire Boys
By: D’Anne Witkowski*/Special for TRT ou know what gay people need? Exorcisms. It’s the only way to get rid of the gay-making demon lurking in the homosexual soul. And who better to do that exorcism than Gordon Klingenschmitt, an ex-Navy chaplain, booted out of the military for insubordination? After all, he has a great track record, according to himself. “As a chaplain I prayed with a young lesbian sailor who came to me and said, ‘Chaplain I don’t like the way I’m feeling, can you help me with this?’ We prayed with her,” Klingenschmitt said on the David Pakman show Jan. 20. “She renounced her sin. She invited Jesus Christ to be the first man in her life that she trusted. We had a wedding ceremony. She wept as Jesus moved into her heart and got the devil out of her.” I’m sorry, what? You had a wedding ceremony? So this lesbian Navy lady married Jesus? So does that mean Jesus is officially off the market now? Or do a lot of ladies marry Jesus and, if so, isn’t that polygamy? How, then, is this all-the-ladies-marry-one-dude scenario not the culmination of so many slippery slope arguments against marriage equality? “When I looked into her eyes I said, ‘You foul demon of lesbian homosexuality come out of this woman in Jesus’ name.’ She began to weep and said she loved Jesus,” Klingenschmitt continued. “She started reading her Bible, she was the best evangelist in our church. She got baptized and she started dating boys.” Okay, wait. After he exorcised the “foul demon of lesbian homosexuality” out of her she got baptized and started dating boys? Presumably this woman was over 18 since she was in the military and all. So I’d think that boys are a little out of her league. And again, isn’t the antigay right always going on and on about how gay people go after children? But it’s somehow okay with God when the adults going after children are ex-gay and married to Jesus? I might be over-thinking this.
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Needless to say, Klingenschmitt doesn’t like the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” one bit. It’s going to destroy us, he says. “It’s going to lead to a national draft. The number of homosexuals coming in will never eclipse the mass exodus of Christians leaving the military,” he told Pakman. I wonder when Christians are planning this mass exodus and where they plan on going. Because so far there’s no evidence of Christian soldiers fleeing the demon-infested homos that the DADT repeal will foist upon the general public. If they are indeed leaving, they seem to be going pretty quietly. “Not only that, it’s going to cost the blessing of God upon our troops,” Klingenschmitt continues. Everybody knows that God loves America best and helps American soldiers kill kill kill. But the tables are turned, he argues. “I’m concerned as a chaplain that America will no longer be able to fight and win wars because now we’re fighting against almighty God, the government has declared war on God and god will ultimately prevail in that battle.” Klingenschmitt claims that DADT was a good policy “in that it prevented people from lying about who they really are.” Because homosexuals are, by Klingenschmitt’s definition, a bunch of dirty crooks who think nothing of waking up and declaring that they’re going to be someone else today. Someone gay. Klingenschmitt said gay men need to “man up” and start being straight and stop acting like women. And then, of course, for our complimentary exorcism: “It’s the only spiritual solution to a spiritual disease,” says Klingenschmitt. Anti-gay exorcism: It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Order yours today.
Anti-gay exorcism:
It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Order yours today.
*D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world she reviews rock ‘n’ roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister.
therainbowtimesnews.com
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Tracy & Stamie from page 17 TR: Oh boy, that was an emotional journey! It was one of my most honest and scary moments on the show and in my life. I didn’t think my Mom would agree to participate or even be able to talk about our issues in front of producers, let alone the World, but she did! I’m so proud of her! I think it’s important for people to hear the mother’s point of view when it comes to acceptance as well. Since the show, my Mom has opened up tremendously about her feelings, but is still taking “baby steps” towards fully accepting the whole picture. She’s getting there and I’m beyond proud of her and excited to move forward. No more walking on egg shells! I hope to have many more of those “I Choose Me” moments in life! CL: Have you pursued anymore of a modeling career since your start on the show? TR: I like to call myself a part-time model. I wouldn’t say it’s a career path, but it’s definitely a fun challenge that I’m continuing to pursue. Stamie: CL: How did your blog “Our Fifteen Minutes” come about? Stamie Karakasidis: When we decided to participate in the show we wanted a way to keep in touch with the fans and get to know them on a more personal level. Visibility matters and having a site where people could literally talk to each other via live chat and share their stories was something we thought would help the LGBT community. It is a tough road dealing with your sexuality and we wanted to help in any way we could. CL: How has the show affected your comedy career? SK: So much! Stand-up comedy is my passion. It feeds my soul and I love to see people laughing. I like to think that is my gift from God. I
have been lucky enough to travel with my comedy now and am starting to be offered some writing jobs. My next big show will be performing at Girl Bar’s Dinah Shore comedy show on March 31 and I am really excited about that. Both Tracy and I will be participating in their events all weekend. I am very grateful for the exposure I have received from the show. Comedy90210.com has also been packed at my bi-monthly Thursday show in Beverly Hills. CL: What was your first reaction when Tracy asked you to be a part of the show? SK: I was very excited. I got all my Adidas sweatpants washed and ironed. I didn’t even have to leave my house. I love having people around and it was fun having the whole crew in your house with all their equipment and having to pretend they were not there. They kept telling me daily, “Stop talking to us, we are Tracy Ryerson not here, we are invisible.” I also thought what better way to get to know Tracy than on camera? So natural, right? CL: Whose on your Ipod currently? SK: I am a big fan of John Meyer, XX, Pink-
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Love her! She always delivers a positive message in her songs. 30 Seconds to Mars, Florence and the Machine, Coldplay and my beloved Anthony Robbins and Brian Tracy. I am big on listening to selfimprovement CDs. If you just learn one new thing, it will make you a better person. CL: Where did you go to school? What did you major in? Have you always been a West Coast girl? SK: I am originally from Philadelphia, lived in Greece from 5-8 years old. Living in Greece so early on has really made me appreciate living in the states. I love what the U.S. has to offer. You work hard and you get rewarded. Other countries don’t always offer that, especially Greece. I went to Temple University and majored in exercise physiology [but eventually] transferred to California State University at Northridge because I Photo: Brandon Showers fell in love with my first girlfriend who was a soap star and was moving back to Los Angeles. I love the west coast and all it offers. CL: How does your family feel about your participation on the show?
SK: My parents are Greek, greek, greek, they really haven’t watched the show. They will watch the whole season once it airs on their Greek channel. Until then, ignorance is bliss. They have met Tracy and they love her, so that’s all that matters to me. CL: The preface of the show gave the appearance that all cast members did not know each other previous to filming - yet I’m assuming that you all must have met during promotional materials or show meetings. What was this first interaction like? SK: It’s like when you take your doggy to the dog park. You sniff around, evaluate the situation and go from there. Luckily, we really hit it off. We are all so different, but the experience of being on _The Real L Word_ is a bond we will share forever. It’s really a bummer they chose to not show us all hanging out, because we definitely have many camera-worthy moments. CL: Would you say that your family’s exposure on the show has helped raise awareness about Williams Syndrome? SK: Williams Syndrome exists but you are not aware of it unless you have met someone or your child is diagnosed. It is hard news to swallow once the doctor breaks it to you. Then as a parent you have to stop crying or thinking about the future and start focusing on the soul of the child who didn’t ask for this. So you love them and get them the best therapy and watch them grow. We are very lucky with Jagger. He communicates, plays, has therapy, eats, is potty trained and is a very happy kid. I am glad we briefly mentioned it on the show and I am sure it has affected a few people who did watch. For more information about what Tracy and Stamie are up to these days, please visit: www. OurFifteenMinutes.com and/or their respective Twitter accounts at @TracyRyerson, or @ StamieLA.
Alex Morse hopes to put his experience and knowledge to work for the people of Holyoke By: Tynan Power/TRT Reporter Alex Morse has a vision for Holyoke—and it begins with “a leader…for a change.” Morse, a 22 year old senior at Brown University and a Holyoke native, believes he can bring that change to the city. On a freezing day at the end of January, he stood on City Hall steps to kick-off his campaign. Joined by a small crowd that braved fresh snow to be there, he shared his comprehensive vision for the city of Holyoke. With the election ten months away, he is currently the only challenger to Mayor Elaine Pluta. “Now what we have is the same thing, year after year,” Morse says. Despite his youth, Morse has already racked up more than 10 years of experience as a leader. As a high school student, he founded of the Gay Straight Alliance at Holyoke High School. He subsequently founded the Holyoke GLBTQ Task Force, recently renamed Holyoke For All – “Holyoke Para Todos,” which is in its 5th year of organizing the Western Mass Youth Pride Prom. Though Morse acknowledges that his LGBT community experience informs how he leads, his civic engagement has not been limited to LGBT-specific causes. He sits on the Board of Directors for the Holyoke Community Land Trust, the Latino Scholarship Association, the Friends of the Holyoke Public Library, and the Holyoke Public Library Capital Campaign Steering Committee. He is also a member of the Holyoke Youth Task Force, the Holyoke Family Literacy Coalition, the Department of Mental Health Citizen Advisory Board, and Holyoke Unites (an organization combating Holyoke’s high dropout rate). Impressively, he has maintained his involvement in local issues at the same time he has pursued a rigorous program in Urban Studies at one of the country’s most prestigious universities, Brown University, two hours away. To make it work, Alex Morse he attends classes in Providence, but spends the rest of his time in Holyoke. “Last year, I stayed overnight in Providence three nights a week,” he explains. “This year, I’m not staying in Providence at all.” His dedication to his own education reveals a deep-seated value. Education is a key component of his platform. Dropout prevention and recovery, for example, are at the top of his priority list. With its 45% drop out rate, Holyoke seems to Morse to be suffering from the impact lack of education can have on economics, public safety and pride in the city. “It all comes down to education,” Morse says. Growing up in a working class family, Morse had personal insight into how much difference education can make. Morse reveals that both his parents dropped out of high school (only one has a GED) and they worked hard to feed four children and provide a home for them. Today, Morse says his family’s economic status is improved from what it once was, thanks to their diligent hard work over many years. As a student at Brown, his experience of class sets Morse apart from many of his peers at the elite school. Yet there are few better places to have studied urban renewal than in Providence, Rhode Island. A city which was once far from being a vacation destination, Providence has experienced a remarkable turnaround in recent years.
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22 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com
Photo: courtesy alex morse
Morse addressing supporters in Holyoke
One component of that change has been a renewed celebration of arts. The river art installation WaterFire, in particular, has changed a run-down area of town in which people feared to walk alone at night to one bustling with people. The event regularly draws tens of thousands to the Providence riverfront on summer weekends. Similarly, Morse feels that an arts and entertainment district could breathe new life into Holyoke. “Now, when you go into Holyoke at night, it’s deserted. It used to be that people could go to the theater, and there was a hotel next door, and restaurants. The historic Victory Theater is being renovated,” Morse says. “It’s an opportunity to build on.” In Providence, Morse had the opportunity to work closely with then-Mayor David Cicilline, now serving as a Democratic Representative in Congress. Cicilline, like Morse, is openly gay. Morse says Cicilline gave him good advice on being gay without making it the central issue of a campaign. Morse seems to have taken that advice to heart. He is proud to acknowledge the work he’s done for the LGBT community in Holyoke, yet it’s not a specific bullet point that he addresses in his platform, nor is there anything about his presentation that draws attention to his sexual orientation. A discrete HRC equality bumper sticker on his car and perhaps his style sense are all that might cue in the astute observer that he’s gay. “Being gay is only part of who I am,” he says. Still, as Mayor, he would want to use that position to address LGBT rights. “We don’t have an anti-discrimination ordinance, here,” he says. “I’ve already been in touch the LGBT Coalition of mayors. In fact, his vision of how to lead the city goes far beyond identity politics—unless that identity is “Holyoker.” Morse would like Holyoke to reclaim its once golden promise. The first planned city in America and once home to more millionaires per capita than any other city, Holyoke was once so vibrant that Belle Skinner (1866-1928) is reported to have said “There are only three cities in the world: Holyoke, Paris and New York.” Continue this story online at: www.therainbowtimesmass.com/2011/02032011/morse.
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HRC: U.S. Pastors are exporting bigotry The OutField: Kye Allums is trans; world doesn’t end Allums’ next concern was for his scholarBy: Dan Woog* to Uganda with brutually murderous results ship. Researching his options, he realized he /Special for TRT Murder of Ugandan human rights defender was avoidable Washington, DC—In the wake of the murder of Ugandan LGBT civil rights leader, David Kato, the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest civil rights organization dedicated to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality, is calling on U.S. fundamentalist pastors Carl Ellis Jenkins, Lou Engle, and Scott Lively, to quickly abandon their hateful and dangerous anti-LGBT rhetoric and actions. David Kato, the gay Ugandan human rights defender, was brutally murdered in his home on Wednesday. David was the Advocacy Officer for Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG), a coalition of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex human rights organizations in Uganda. “While they didn’t physically beat Mr. Kato, the words and actions of these three U.S. fundamentalist ministers were just as harmful,” said Dr. Sharon Groves, acting director of HRC’s Religion and Faith Program. “They have perpetuated a climate of fear and violence that runs contrary to the core values of all religious traditions. Stoking fires of hostility isn’t religion, it is blasphemy.” At the top of his agenda, U.S. pastor Lou Engle has called LGBT people a threat to Uganda. Engle has publicly defended the Ugandan govern-
ment’s efforts to pass the “Kill the Gays” bill, citing increased sponsorship of gay lifestyles in schools and colleges by international NGOs and the increase in gay clubs attracting materialistic youth as rationale. Scott Lively held an anti-gay conference in Uganda that provided religious justification for the “Kill the Gays” bill. Carl Jenkins is opening 50 new churches in Uganda to “help clean up bad morals, including homosexuality.” Earlier last week HRC sent a nationwide action alert to its 1.3 million members and supporters, asking them to sign a petition to the three leading anti-LGBT fundamentalist pastors to stop exporting hate in the name of religion. Planning is underway for nationwide vigils honoring the life of David Kato. “We hope and pray that some good will come out of David’s untimely and tragic death,” added Groves. The Human Rights Campaign is America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality. By inspiring and engaging all Americans, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBT citizens and realize a nation that achieves fundamental fairness and equality for all.
¡Vamos a ser ricos en amor y relaciones!
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photo: Eric Hess
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Propongo que envés de hablar con palabras negPor: Wilfred W. ativas hablemos con palabras positivas. Amar no Labiosa*/Columnies sólo ver a ese ser querido/a o tener sexo con su sta de TRT a cosa impor- compañero/a, significa también como hablamos, tante es es- compartimos y nos comportamos. “La vida nos forzarse ha- debe haber enseñado que el amor no consiste en cia una meta que no la mirada al uno al otro sino en la mirada hacia sea inmediatamente fuera juntos en la misma dirección,” Antoine de visible que la meta Saint-Exupery. Si cada persona practica el mino es el referir de la rar en la misma dirección, habrá unidad, habrá mente, pero sino del progreso y podremos obtener una comunidad Latina LGBT unida. Wilfred Labiosa espíritu. --Antoine Nosotros como individuos le brindamos a de Saint-Exupery Durante este mes de Febrero vamos a nuestra comunidad tanta diversidad, traemos tratar de unirnos como comunidad La- tantas cosas positivas, tantas personalidades y tina LGBT y querernos más. En el 2011 visiones—al unirnos podremos tener una comudebemos de tratar algo nuevo, ¿por qué no in- nidad “rica” y unida. “Rica” no en el sentido de vertir en relaciones con otro/as? ¿Por qué existe dinero pero llena de valores, pensamientos y de tanto odio y no tenemos relaciones positivas y personalidades. Nuestras comunidades, sociedad una unidad entre la comunidad Latina y LGBT? y mundo Latino Americano serían lugares más bellos, “ricos,” y pacífiQuizás sea porque no cos si nos uniéramos. El compartimos nuestro amor y unidad pueden amor y porque pensaganarle a todo lo malo y mos tanto con la mente negativo que nos rodea. y no con nuestros senDurante este mes de timientos y corazón. Febrero, y a través del Quizás sea porque todo/ 2011, propongo que cada as halamos por nuestro persona alcance a ese ser lado y no compartimos querido/a, a esa persona con otro/as nuestras con la que uno perdió tribulaciones y nuestro contacto y/o quizás amor. llegarle a esa persona Comencé esta columsolitaria y comenzar a inna con una frase del libro Photo: eric hess vertir y reinventar esa rel“Flight to Arras” de An- Miembros de la Comunidad Latina y GLBT ación. Vamos a volvernos toine de Saint-Exupery “ricos” con relaciones y a por que nos debe hacer reflexionar sobre nuestros objetivos para el 2011 como comunidad Latina tener una comunidad unida Latina LGBT. Les deLGBT. El odio que existe nos disminuye como seo a todo/as un feliz mes del Amor y que todo/as individuos y como comunidad. Reemplacemos tengan un Año 2011 lleno de paz, prosperidad, el odio por la compasión el compañerismo y el amor y relaciones! ¡Feliz Mes de San Valentín! amor y usemos esto positivamente para unirnos Y, amor, mucho amor para todo/as! y comprender que los objetivos vienen de adTo read this article in English, please visit: entro, de nuestro espíritu. Si nuestros espíritus www.therainbowtimesmass.com/2011/02032011/ no tienen odio y sólo amor entonces al unirnos latinvision. como comunidad podemos lograr la igualdad y *Escrito en ambos idiomas por Wilfred W. Lael compañerismo que tanto anhelamos. Durante este mes del amor, vamos a practicar biosa, líder comunitario y psicólogo. Para más el significado de amarnos uno/as a lo/as otro/as. información sobre el columnista visita www.unidoslgbt.com o envíale una nota en Facebook.
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he most news- was protected by a Washington, D.C. law that worthy part of prohibits discrimination based on gender idencollege bas- tity. The NCAA seemed to clear the way for his ketball player Kye continued participation on the women’s team as Allums’ coming out well, noting that gender classification should be story as the first based on “state identification documents, such openly transgender as driver’s licenses and voter registration.” Still, when the news broke in early Novemman to play on an NCCA Division I ber that Kye – not Kay-Kay – Allums would women’s basketball begin playing as a man on the women’s team Dan Woog team may be how two weeks later (ironically in Minneapolis, half an hour south of where Allums grew up) – he little attention the news story drew. Beyond brief, matter-of-fact articles in the was not sure what would happen. He needn’t have worried. New York Times, Washington Post and USA He told the Washington Post the next day, Today, and on websites like The Huffington Post, reaction seemed muted – if non-exis- “I’ve had numerous Facebook messages, text tent. Granted, Kye Allums is no Tiger Woods, messages, people calling me, people I don’t even know, telling me Reggie Bush or Michael how they’re proud of Vick. Still, you’d think me and how I’m a really the potent combination brave person, and it’s of sex and college hoops been really positive.” would send the sports From as far away as world into a twitter. Germany, men and womInstead, Kye simply en said “they wish more announced he was no people were like me, or longer Kay-Kay. He more people would be said that after 20 years able to say something.” – as a junior playing But that was that. for George Washington There was no feeding University – he’d be the frenzy in the media. man he’d always felt he The blogosphere did not was. He had not begun hormone treatments or had reassignment sur- erupt. Radio sports call-in shows scarcely mengery, however, so he could continue to play on tioned the news. Part of the reason may be Allums’ personthe Colonials’ women’s team. And he had the full support of his coach and ality, and his forthright discussion of what it means to be a transgender male. According to teammates. It had been a long journey for the Minne- USA Today, he spoke “openly and with disarmsota native. While growing up, his mother ing nonchalance to an array of local and national news media outlets.” forced him to wear “girl Part of the reason clothes” – not the sweats may be that the NCAA and basketball shorts he did not turn this into a felt much more comfortpitched battle. George able in. So he changed Washington University into them at school. administrators consulted For a long time he with the governing body thought he was a lesbian. about Allums’ competiBut, as Outsports.com tive status. The NCAA reported, he realized he affirmed that it follows didn’t share the feelconduct outlined in an ings they felt. Not until October report by the freshman year in college National Center for – when his mother texted Lesbian Rights. “On the him, “Who do you think Team: Equal Opporyou are, young lady?” tunity for Transgender – did he realize he was Student Athletes” emnot a young lady at all. phasizes the importance He began sharing his of playing sports free secret with teammates from discrimination. The the next year. As he dereport notes that an enviscribed the enormous ronment unfriendly to disconnect between his trans students can harm body and his heart, they all members of a team. began to understand. Photo: GW Sports Information And part of the reason “Everybody’s pretty Kye Allums may be that – as Allums’ much accepting of everyone on the team,” he told Outsports. “Everybody teammates and coach demonstrate – coming is different. We’re teammates, we’re like family. out as a trans man is not as big a deal as it once It’s a bunch of brothers and sisters. Everybody might have seemed. When USA Today asked whether winning brings their life and issues to the family.” Allums was gratified by the players’ re- games or inspiring others is most important, sponse. But he feared telling head coach Mike Allums sounded like any athlete, male or feBozeman, a religious man. Last June, during male: “Winning games.” Of course, he added, “by winning games I a conversation that began on a different topic, Allums broached the subject. Bozeman asked hope I do inspire people.” Allums if God had made a mistake. *Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer It was a difficult moment, but Bozeman soon offered support. He reminded Allums he’d al- coach, gay activist, and author of the “Jocks” ways “had your back.” He said he’d continue series of books on gay male athletes. Visit to love Allums, the same way he loved all his his website at www.danwoog.com. He can be reached care of this publication or at Outplayers. Field@qsyndicate.com.
Not until freshman year in college – when his mother texted him, “Who do you think you are, young lady?” – did he realize he was not a young lady at all.
24 • Feb. 3, 2011 - March 2, 2011 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com