12 • The Rainbow Times • TheRainbowTimesMass.com
May 2, 2019 - June 5, 2019
TOXIC MASCULINITY: INSIDERS’ VIEWS
PHOTO: ANTHONY ALVAREZ
Dani Farrell (below), 34, He/Him, African American, Founder / CEO of Trans In Color
Q: What do you think about toxic masculinity infiltrating in the trans men community? Does it exist? A: Although I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by trans men who are very open minded and accepting, there is no doubt that toxic masculinity is very much alive within the trans community. I personally feel that toxic masculinity is very sad. I also do not understand men with these attitudes. The majority of us, trans men, have been forced to live in the body of a woman for a good deal of our lives and have been affected first hand by the stereotypes associated with toxic masculinity. That is one reason it is so hard for me to understand why we would continue to perpetuate the same negative stereotypes once we are able to live freely as a man in the outside world. I know that toxic masculinity exists within the trans community because I’ve seen it firsthand. Toxic masculinity shows itself by “feminizing” men and this is negative because in a toxic masculinity environment women are looked upon as less than. Therefore, saying someone is feminine is basically a slur. One way that things are feminized are by calling them gay.
Devyn Nunez (above), 24, He/Him, Dominican, Photographer/Studio Production Assistant
Q: Some trans men say they've been bullied by other trans men who seem to support toxic masculinity. What are your thoughts on that? Has this happened to you? A: Honestly, I think it’s sad. They have this engraved idea, because of what they have experienced from their own family, etc., that they and others have to look and behave a certain way in order to be “trans enough” or “man enough.” While I haven’t experienced this myself, I know other trans men who get hate for not being on T or not wanting any or specific surgeries. There’s no prerequisite for being a man. A trans man who is pre-hormones and surgeries is just as much a man as one who is taking hormones and has had any surgery, both are just as valid as any cisgender man, even if that isn’t a specific trans person’s goal. Q: What is toxic masculinity? What behaviors (attitudes, actions, etc.) fall into that category? A: To me, toxic masculinity is unhealthy, harmful, oppressive ... Some behaviors that fall into this category include, but are not limited to, solving issues or differences they have with violence instead of talking it out ... the notion that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, being homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic, etc.
Lucas Silveira (above), 45, He/Him, Canadian/Portuguese, Singer/Songwriter (The Cliks), Self Portrait
PHOTO: APYPHANIE
Q: Some trans men say they've been bullied by other trans men who seem to support toxic masculinity. What are your thoughts on that? Has this happened to you? A: This has absolutely happened to me. I've lost friendships with other trans men over these kind of situations. There are many trans men who see masculinity as a very binary, patriarchal performance. They have ideas of manhood in ways that I don't. I'm a pretty soft and comfortably openly vulnerable guy and many of the trans men around me have said to me that I'm "different" than most trans men they know. I speak to my past as a woman openly and with comfort and have even been asked in a group of trans men to stop outing myself, as they fear they will be found out. That
was something that truly infuriated me. I had been living in secrecy and in shame for so long and then even within groups of other trans men, they expected me to not be myself because they couldn't separate my way of being myself with their fears. Q: Younger trans men seem to be taken (and try to even emulate the behaviors too) of other trans/cis men portraying toxic masculinity tendencies. How can they combat this? A: Just stop it. It's that simple. Get to know yourself as a human first and then as a man. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be masculine. I love masculinity. But I don't love the kind of masculinity that hurts people, including myself. And it's very simple to see what kind of behaviours perpetuate toxic masculine culture if you take a moment to look inward and make a decision to come forward from a place of truth, humanity and vulnerability. See Next Page
