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The Ralll Page'1 Volume= l/3itr3 Number -6
The Lamaz Upp er School
School Day Shortened for Next Year '/'/ Zm·o Zwl'snrp
RI wzs 0ZSI Quoy ISZI Ssvny dcsamoritisation Xooy yvtzn worpmt zs z ozw xovrp unwvr Suprvnv Xourt Qustrxv Szrry Yozxpnu n. Tsv posrtron ou xovrp, zs Ns. Xooy vxpozmvw. rs not zt zoo vzsy to xonv yy. Vzxs qustrxv prxps onoy uour pvopov out ou tsv sunwrvws tszt ippoy uor tsv posnron. \Vsrov Ns. Xooy szys lszt z ozrtv pzrt ou tsv svovxtron proxvss wzs "ouxp," n rs not surpmm·t tsza tsrs "ouxpy" Rznu zounnz wz.s vzovwrxtorrzn zt yots Rznzz znw Xoounyrz. zs wvoo zs z trzwuztv ou Szrvzrw OzwSllSOOO. Tsv vssvntno ounxtron ou z xovrp rs to yv tsv ovtzo zwvrsvr to tsv qusl.r.(VS. Ns. Xooy pomtvw . out tszt n rs ··orpv zn mtvmssrp. . yvxz.usv tsv qoy usuzooy ozsts uor onv yvzr znw rs trvvn to ozwyvrs gust out ou ozw sxsooo. Ssv ponvw tsv f\'"q)O[lSryrorty au tsY xovrps mto tsrvv nun x.ztvtorrvs... Unst. tsvy nust znzoyzv t s· v zppvzos to tsvSuprvnv Xoun znw zwvrsv tsv qusll'Xvs wsvtsvr tsv xzsvs nvm svzrmL Ou tsv nzny zppvzos tszt zrv suynntvw, onoy two pvrxvnt zxruzooy nzpv n lo tsv 5rts xoun. Svxonw. wurrn1 tsv pvrrow ou :itourt proxvvwmts tsv xovrps rvzw tsv yrrvus (tsv zrtunvnts ou tsv opposmt srwvs) znw rvxonnvnw vrvwpomts to t s v r r rvspvxtrvv qustrxvs. Umzooy. n rs tsv :itovrps' qoy to wrzut tsv opmrons ou tsv qusu:w unwvr wsn;s tsvy svrvv. (gfsdagdf,d ps pag, 4I
Inside this Issue: Letter From the President page2 tudent Spot light: Sam Rubinstein page4
March 1993 / Adar 5753
School Announces Specifics of the Strategic Plan b'f Uri Hellman
own above Is an architect's coottptJon or the new nurse's office.
RamPage Poll Shocks School by Jeremr Stern A shocking poll has revealed lhnt Lhc majority of the student body is engaging in such sins as shatnes, ir hanidachnt. and bcn sorer umorch . The Ram P agc/WRMZ surve y. which polled lhc entire student body. stands in sharp contrast 10 an ear lier Likrat Shabbat/Aame census. which showed few violations of Biblical pr ecep t s . Noted sociologist Uriel C . Heilman points out that since the Flame conducted its poll nmong Flame staff, it was no1 indicative of r<'-0.lil)', The RamPagc poll exposed w1d�prcad neglect of the mitzvah of shiluach h akc n. One sophomore explarned. "it's too difficult to bother with the mother bird; it is hard enough to climb the trie to get the eggs!!" The poll also uncovered large scale trans gressions of the prohibition of'"lif nei iver lo titen michshol." Over 67% of students have plac.cd stum bling blocks in fronl of blind people. Among 1he 01her 33%. 76% would place stumbling blocks, but don't know what slum-
bling blocks are and where lo find them. To the surprise of many rabbis in 1he school. a whopping 79% of boys were once ben sorer umorchs, or s1ubbom and rebcl hous sons. The gemarah stipu lates that a ben sorer umoreh must be the son or two identical-looking and speaking parents. Further more. the stubborn son must have stolen money from his parents to feast on wine and meat glut tonously. Accord i ng to San hedrin. there has never been a ben sorer umoreh, nor shall there ever be. 1lle odds of having this many bcn sorer umorchs jn the school are ••infinitely small, " according 10 Craig Hclfgoll Craig added that '"infinity is not a number, it's a concept" Teacher response to the poll has been mixed. Rabbi Rubin, a famous contributor to the Ram Page. explained 1ha1 ahhough he could do "a lot of things."' he could not prevent students from wearing shatnes, since Kamaz is a "pluralistic school where no one is wrong." Dr. Jucovy was shocked to learn that students actually eat (comin11ed on page 2)
In the recent Principal's Repon. Rabbi Looks1cin 1old lhc Board of Trustees that some chan ges in theStrategic Plan of Ramaz would have 10 be made. Ahhough he announced a number of ad m 1n 1st rnt Ive changes, he neglected to include several key i1ems. According to 1hc modified S1r.11cgic Plan. lhe Rabbi referred to an "expanded health cur riculum." The specifics, some of which were left out because he "didn't want to write a megillah," include expanding the nurse's of fice into the teachers' lounge, sup plying 1he office wilh boxes of tissues. and hiring a secretary for her. The facullr lounge will be relocated to theSump and Ejector Pump on lhe SC level. The wall between the two rooms will be knocked down, making room for a cubicle for the nurse's secretary, more "sick beds" and more medi caJ closets and supplies. The new secreto.ry will be involved mostly wil"-wril ing late notes and giving students hot water for tea and soup. The students will have a larger selections of medication for headaches, colds, and other ail ments. as well as larger waste baskets for nauseous people. DoclorShudofsky W3S displeased with the nurse's supplying the stu dents with tissues. He feels that "1f someone needs tissues, he or she should be smart enough to bring 1hem from home:· Rabbi . Lookslein replied. saying, . he'/, who's boss around here. anyway? We're not getting any younger
around here, and as people we get older. ii gclS harder for lhem lo remember to bring in what they need." The nurse stated. ·•J'm glad aboul lhc expanded room and new amenities because I will be able 10 help more people. In addi tion. the aging administration will nead more heallh e:trc, and I'll be belier cquiped 10 help lhem. My job is to get them well or get them home, and with the aid of my new secretary and amenities. I'll be able to work much more efficient ly." Another change which was al luded to in the report was the in stitution of a messenger service. Rabbi Looks1cin asked lhe ques ion posed to Isaiah by God, ..t Whom shall I send and who will
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go for usT II did nol tal:e long for the es1eemed Rabbi to realize that Ramaz is without inter-office messengers. The administration is still debating over whether or not new people will be hired or whether the service would be added to the maintenance men's duu-es. --rbe jobs would inc-ludo relaying phone messages, bring ing lunch to faculty and ad ministration, bringing Mr. Dulny coffee. putting money in Dr. Jucovy's meter. and bringing food from Gristede's to famished youths. In his letter to the parents, Rabbi Lookslein stressed lhal lhe administration was not getting :lily r ounger in lhe 56-year-old school. Therefore h e has decided to create nn aura of a younger school To this affect, all the pictures. diplomas. and awards in room 201
School to Replace Lounge Furniture with Leather Sofas BJ' Uri Heilman After months of speculation, Ramaz. has decided to replace the furniture in the student lounges on 1he founh�d sixlh noors w11h leather sora.s. The decision came after numerous student com pJajnts of back pains when sitting in the lounges.
The furniture that is presently in 1hc lounge is one of a kind. ll was installed shortly after 1hc building was completed. The original hope of the administra• tion was that students would find the lounge so uncomfonable 1hat lhey would be forced 10 go lo class or study in the library. Despite these expcctalions, the lounges are heavily popula1ed by s1udcn1S
during nearly every period of the day. In fact, there isso little room. lhat the li bmry has become a stu dent "hangout" and the librarians have expressed reservations. Still, due to the innux of stu dents in the library, more comfon oble choirs were reccn1ly placed 01 lhc Sludy desks for lhe Sludenis· enjoyment. Sa.id one sophomore, .. I never used 10 be a library per son. In fact, I wos illiterate. But since 1hc new chairs have been brought in, I've convened and now spend all my free time in the library. Ahhough my chllllge of faiths has alienated some of my friends, lhey 100 are slowly being pulled in10 1he comforl of 1hc . library . . The new sofas should amve in 1he lounges on April I. The old lounge rumilure will be sold 10 vnnous high securily prisons. The sofas will line 1he walls, and lhe areas in front of the girls'
balhroom will be empty. How ever. on the founh noor there will be a love-seat in the area adjacent to the windows. To add to the newfound am biance, the paintings hanging in the lounges will be ta.ken down and burned on March 31. In 1heir place, the school will hllllg 1wo huge, framed poslers taken from the recent swimsuit issue ofSports_ lllustratcd. , The funds for the new furniture will come from the money col lccled from lhe sale of bagels and donuts at homeroom. Since the prices of the bagels and donuts are currently about four times the value of the actual victuals, there is plcn1y of money 10 spend. GO Prcsiden1 PerrySmi1h said lhal he has ''been working closely with Dr.Shudofsky 10 secure lhe pur .. chase oflhc sofas from IKEA.
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