e RamPage
Volume XXXI Number 5
The Ramaz Upper School
College Acceptance Rates Plummet; Mr. Rochlin Sued By JOEY AARON -In a surprise move, a group of students and parents have filed court papers initiat ing a class-action suit :igainst Ramaz and several members of the school administration for causing a drop in college acceptances. Among 1hosc named in the suit were Mr. Kenneth Rochlin, Dr. Noam Shudofsky, and Rabbi Jay Goldmintz. According to senior Nina Sassoon, mock trial captain and a spokesman for the plain tiffs. lhe suit was a result of the failed negotiations to . resolve the so-called .break fo..c:t crisis." "\Ve were unable to get the school to change its position on the cancellation of breakfast privileges." Sassoon said resignedly. On February 24. Rochlin had addressed the
student body after mincha in the annual "lhc building has become too dirty" speech, a speech usually given by Rabbi Bakst or Dr. Shudofsky. The break with tradition was due to the fact that Rabbi Bakst and Dr. Shudofsky were on a Princess Lines cruise in Aruba doing research on staff morale on the date that the speech is usually given. In his speech. Rochlin criticized the student Nina Sassoon asserts she will body for leaving the building seek justice for the plaintilTs. as unkempt as it has been, and Rochlin responded, "I want singled out one student who the halls and classrooms to be complained that it was not in as immaculate as Rabbi her job description when Bakst's desk." asked to pick up someone A small group of students else's trash. Rochlin conclud• immediately came to the con• cd by suspending breakfast clusion that without the service until such time as healthy start to the school day cleanliness m the building met that the Cocoa Puffs and lus standards. When pressed about how clean that was, (co11ri11ued 011 page 4)
By LEORA \\'ALTER Due 10 student demand. the administration ha.or;. decided 10 install a special section in the bathrooms for cellular phone users. Since students arc no longer allowed 10 use cell phones in the school building, the bathroom has
Student reaction was pri• now allow evcf)one to use the faciluics because there won't manly positive. "1l1c locker be overcrowding in the stalls." area w111 be less crowded." An open area behind the slall,;; noted Roy Kirsh (12), since will be designated for cell studenls also try to hide Rabbi behind lockers wlulc using phone users. The Goldminlz. planned the layout their cellular phones. and said that having everyone clcarmg of 1hc locker areas together can only lead to a will allow sludents more space to place their books . instead of having 10 figh1 their way through crowds. Ms. Malamy was especially grate• ful for this change. "I won't have students coming to me jusr 10 use my phone. Now they will know !hat 1f they need to use the phone, they can simply bring their own." Ms. Wertheim agreed, but added. The ·•sick" sludents the new cell phone space in will now lie down in the bath room instead or in her office. Ari Korman (11) wel closer and wa.rmcr environ• mcnt. "Couches will be added comed the change. I-le said lhat he would no longc1 "have 10 1hc new restrooms so lhc students will be able to talk to hide from teachers because and recline al lhc same time."
Cell Phone Stations Installed in the Bathrooms
JelTBernstein happily utilizes the fourth Ooor facilities. become the designated place for cell phone use. Mr. Miller wondered why the administra tion never thought of this nddi1ion before. He comment ed, '"This construclion will
Inside This Issue.
3-D glasses enclosed.
(contit1ued 0,1 page 4)
15 Sizzling Centerfolds: Administrators In Enticing Positions -page 613
RamPage Holds Peace Talks with Yearbook -page 91
March 2000/Adar 5760
G.O. Drafts Declaration of Independence By DAVID-BENDER The GO continues to miiruc the American founding fathers in drafting the Ramaz Declaration of Independence. This documcnl is being draft• ed following the recent pro posal of a student's Bill of Rights and the recently adopt ed GO Constitution. GO President Saul Safdieh commented, "the ( 12) Declaration of [ndcpendence is pan of a continuing effort started by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to establish an atmosphere of mutual trusl and respect between teachers and students." When asked to relate exactly from what or whom the students were declaring their independence, Safdieh seemed puuled and declined 10 comment. He referred reponers to Jlhamar Silve, (12). Stud¢ntTtSctitm to the doc• umcnt was mixed. "I like the 1di:a," s:ud Marc Asp1s (11 ). "The students need to declare their independence from tyranny." Daniel Goldman (12) did not share this sentiment. ''What's next? The Ramaz; Doctrine? This is absurd. These documents mean nothing." Initially proposed at a recent SFAC meeting, the declara tion also met some staunch faculty opposition. '"I don't like the wording used," said Rabbi Linzcr. "TI1e tone is quite aggressive and it would seem to me that students may be trying to say that they have rights in the school. a danger ous proposition. if you ask me.'' The administration also rejected the proposal. ··1 just don't like it. Docs this mean that there is going to be a rev• olutionary war?" asked a con cerned Rabbi Goldmintz, who leans towards the Canadian policy of neulrality. "The administration at rhis time is ill prepared to wage war with
the students." Resident war expert Dr. Stone concurred. "Based on the sheer manpow· er advantage in favor of the students, the prospects for the administration arc looking even worse than those for the 49crs." Despite the opposition to the first draft of the dcclara• tion, the GO remains unfazed.
Soul Safdich proudly pre sents the GO Declaration. "In the spirit of our foundmg fathers. we arc prepared to forcefully install this docu• ment. If it means war. so be it," said a passionate Harel Williams (II). I-le added that Washington, "George Abraham Lincoln, and Saul Safdich arc all revolutionaries fighting for the same thing: freedom." The fate of the Rnmaz; of Declaration presently Independence remnins uncertain. Tension continues to build as the GO gears up for a full-scale con flict wilh the administrators on the issue. "No more will the GO be known as an inac• 1ive institution!" bellowed Safdich at a recent tea party. Only lime will lcll what comes of this proposed decl:i• ration.
Mr. Goelz Gets Into An All Out Brawl with Carmine -page Sin 2 X