Volume 51, Issue 5 (Purim 2018) - The Rampage

The Rampage

The Newspaper of the Ramaz Upper School

New York • Volume 51 • Issue 5 • Purim 2018 • Adar 5778

Frisch Pilfers Another One: Rabbi Stochel Leaves Ramaz

Becky Tauber '19

The school fell into complete chaos when the big news was delivered. All the students were gathered in the auditorium for an “Emergency Community” when it was formally announced: Rabbi Stochel had left the Ramaz administration for his new job at Frisch. Rumors, emails and suspicious Schoology posts had led students to suspect as much, but hearing it confirmed was nonetheless shocking. The students and faculty reacted to this striking news in different ways, resorting to various coping mechanisms to deal with this latest turn of events.

Aaron Shapira ’19 shouted, “Now who is going to tell me to get back in dress code! I might as well wear my furry flannel to school everyday.” Boys claimed that they were going to protest this change by not tucking in their

shirts in Rabbi Stochel’s honor.

President Richie Hafif ’18 got up on the microphone and yelled, “New rules boyzz, Polos under sweaters!” Dwight quickly lifted Hafif up over his shoulders and removed him from the stage. Some students began to think that without a principal, everything would slide.

“I never have to come to davening again!” exclaimed Elizabeth Aufzien ’19. “Not that I ever came before…”

Disputes broke out among teachers and faculty as well. A fight between Rabbi Slomnicki and Ms. Krupka immediately ensued over who would take over the title of Dean of the Upper School, while Dr. Jucovy laughed and, unnoticed,

stopped threatening retirement

and moved his stuff into Rabbi Stochel’s now vacant office.

As the yelling continued, Dr. Millowitz shouted back, “I don’t know why both of you are assuming one of you will get the job when I am clearly the most suited to be principal!” Dr. Gaylord and Mr. Lupinacci sat on the side as they watched the third member of their squad fight for the position of Dean.

Suddenly, Dov joined the argument and started to yell at Rabbi Slomnicki, “You already have a Dean title!

It’s pretty selfish to take two when I don’t even have one!”

The following day, Mr. Miller tweeted from his Frisch account, “@RabbiStochel Very excited my old colleague will be joining me

Super Bowls: The Newest Fad in School Dining

Many have wondered what role Rabbi Bodner plays within the Ramaz Upper School. Does he teach? Is he a spy sent by the administration to gather information and gossip from the teachers’ lounge? While Rabbi Bodner, the Head Rabbi of the East Side Stonewall Shul, had kept mum about his exact job, he has had a dramatic impact on the school’s culture, thanks to his introduction of the giant ceramic bowl he brings to the lunch room each day. Mocked initially, the bowl has taken on a life of its own, inspiring others to bring their own bowls to school. The bowl, Rabbi Bodner explains, was inspired by his desire to make his lunch as aesthetically pleasing as his own clothes, and to, more practically, allow him to stuff as much food as was humanly possible onto his tray. “If I’m paying for it, I want

my fair share,” he said, although there is no evidence that he is in fact paying for the food. His bowl, a relic from his childhood home, has sentimental value as it was used by his great-great grandmother as a helmet in her battle with Cossacks. Now it serves as a repository for the delicious offerings of 5 Star Catering. Mr. Luppinacci, never to be outdone, was the first teacher to follow Rabbi Bodner’s revolutionary lead. His bowl, he claims, was given to him

by Al Pacino on the set of Godfather Two. “Pacino said, ‘Here, take this.

You look like you could use a meal,’” said Mr. Lupinacci. The trend continues to grow with many students and teachers excited about trying it out for themselves. “It couldn’t hurt,” said one anonymous student, speaking about how using a bowl might improve the quality of lunch.

here at camp Frisch #reunited.”

Although the community was completely shocked, the chaos settled down the following day as the craziness faded into past news. The students of Ramaz have gotten pretty used to the absence of principals, and were well prepared to deal with this loss. After careful consideration from the board of trustees, it was decided that Rabbi Frazer would assume the role of principal, effective immediately. The Juniors were devastated that he would not be joining them in davening anymore. However, they all understood that he was moving on to greater things: bringing Ramaz back to its former status. Order at Ramaz was quickly restored.

Training for Finals Begins

In order to properly prepare for June Finals under the new system rolled out by Great Leader Krupka, students have begun to physically train their bladders so that they can get part two of their exam earlier. “Studying used to entail getting notes, reviewing old tests, reading, you know, things like that,” said one student. “Now our focus is primarily on working within the new bathroom system. “If I don’t drink for ten hours prior to the test I can easily make it,” said one student, who is currently being treated for dehydration.

Inside this issue...

Sephardic Minyan Becomes Quickest in the School...Minyan thrives under Rabbi Albo's leadership page 613 The Ramaz Faculty...A complete list of all teachers and administrators employed at Ramaz cannot be found GO Instagram is Hacked...Vice President Sarah Issever '18 mourns loss of years of artsy photos page 152 The REAL Reason Retreat is No Longer at Seneca...Campers complained of strange scents in bathrooms page 420 Crossword...For real! page 12

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Ramaz's Favorite Topic: The Community Step

Suzi Dweck '19

Once every few Fridays the entire Ramaz upper school gathers for one of our most important school events, the new and improved Ramaz Renaissance: “community” (which must always be spelled with a capital C and without quotation marks).

Despite the multiple times Ramaz has had “community,” students remain puzzled and confused by it. The majority of the student population contemplates what exactly “community” is, why we have it, and what we learn from it.

A few of Ramaz’s most prestigious and reputable members volunteered to explain what “community” means to them. Max Kraft ’19 said, “Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the most recent community for ‘personal reasons’, but otherwise I am always the first one in the auditori-

Hadley Kauvar '19 My s t e r y abounds at the school as it is plagued by activity of a paranormal nature. Granted, Ramaz already has its fair share of seemingly cursed offices and titles, given the frequent misfortune that falls upon whichever soul holds either.

However, now even the vending machines are no longer safe.

The site of these particular incidents was the snack machine on the fourth floor in the Senior Lounge.

Multiple times, snacks from the

um. Whenever I do have to leave school early, which

munity” means to him. He said, “The community is

AP

Josephine Schizer '20

can be quite often, I try to ensure it’s not during ‘community’ since it’s one of my favorite parts about school.”

“What is ‘community’? Well, if you want one definitive answer I would say that it’s umm a time for everyone to umm come together to do some -- stuff. It’s great isn’t it?” said founder of “community” and the event’s biggest advocate, Rabbi Slomnicki.

President Richie Hafif ’18 was asked to describe in detail what “com-

Expanding Ramaz’s AP course options has always been a priority for the Ramaz administration.

Ramaz’s reputation with colleges is based partly on how many APs Ramaz students take, so it is important to have the right AP class for every student. The newest popular offering is AP Step Dance, taught by Ms. Cohen.

“Step has always been my

gressing to more complicated moves like Karate Step and Double Step Jump. In gym, girls are only required to put together a 2-3 minute routine, but AP Step is a literal step up, requiring a 25 minute step dance on a step with 5 risers. Students put together a medley of songs and perform their dances in pairs at the end of the class.

“I’m really scared for the

favorite unit in gym,” says senior Orli Fouzailoff ’18, newly enrolled in AP Step, “so doing it for one unit a year has never satisfied me. That’s why I’m so excited about the new AP Step! Plus it goes really well with being captain of the dance team.”

The class’s curriculum is based on Ms. Cohen’s usual step curriculum for girls, starting out with the simple motions like the Turn Step and Around the World that students learn every year, and eventually pro-

AP Exam at the end,” says Allison Davidson ’18, “We’re going to have to perform in front of a panel of judges and do whatever steps they tell us to. What if I forget one?”

“I have always felt deprived because the boys don’t get the chance to take step in gym class,” says Ari Davidovsky ’18, “so I was really excited to take AP Step until Ramaz announced that the class would only be open to girls - that’s discrimination! I’m going to sue!”

legit my favorite thing. Everyone joins together during the summer in Deal, eats mazza, and parties. I love my SY family.” When explained to President Haffif that the question asked was referring to the program in Ramaz called “community” and not the Syrian community, he replied, “Uh? There’s a program in school called ‘community’?”

The Vending Machine Ghost bottom rows of the machine were observed disappearing into thin air. Gourmet Cinnamon Rolls, Sandwich

Cookies, Twizzlers, and even higher up treats such as Mike and Ikes began to vanished. The

Trail Mix, however, remained inexplicably untouched.

Rabbi Sklarin, claiming that belief in

such phantoms is not in line with Judaism, attempted to figure out what was “real-

ly” happening at the vending machine. But, after witnessing a few disappearances, he was forced to concede. He ran back to his office in fear to eat MexiKosher and discuss what he had seen with his brothers-in-law: in addition to its hauntings of the machine, this phantom seemed to be having a profound effect on multiple male students from across all grades. Many students were then forced to be sent home for multiple days--possibly due to being possessed by

whatever otherworldly creature has taken up residence in the school.

These diabolic happenings disturbed a great deal of teachers and students alike. Junior Elizabeth Aufzien ’19 said: “at first I thought I was hallucinating from exhaustion, but then other people also saw it.” When questioned about the “Vending Machine Ghost,” Mr. Deutsch said “as long as

it doesn’t interfere with the Xbox in the teachers’ lounge, I don’t care.”

Rabbi Slomnicki declined to comment on these events.

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OVER UNDER Yasmine Sokol '19

OVERrated:

UNDERrated:

OVERvisited:

UNDERvisited:

The Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel The Met The college office BIC Camp Lavi The C staircase Citizenship reports

The bathroom on C Lunch and learn The quiet room in the library Rampo Camp Seneca Lake

The mural project The seniors’ gaming station The churros Eating on a tray during lunch GO Schoology blasts

OVERdiscussed: Dr. Stone Prom dresses Senior year History Tests The US immigration policy Finals bathroom break policy Spicy Mayo at Lunch

Naomi Freilich '18

Tapping in in the morning Occasional little bites in the vending machine Roldan is head of the Spanish department There is still a head of school yet to be chosen You are allowed to drink water in the library

UNDERdiscussed: Only 3 computers in the library actually print One day intersession There is finally a new toaster in the lunchroom February break Ms. Krupka and Rabbi Slomnicki are administrators

New Senior Mini Courses

After careful consideration, Rabbi Sklarin, the Senior Grade Dean, decided to implement new requirements for Senior Mini Courses. Though Rabbi Sklarin received criticism from most members of the senior grade, the Ramaz Upper School administration felt that it was necessary for Ramaz students to enter the “real” world with some basic skills.

As the time approached for seniors to choose classes, synopses of the new required courses were distributed amongst the grade.

How to Clean Up After a Meal

How to How to Verbalize a Full Word (AKA- Not Abbreviate Every Single Word)

Though Ramaz aims to keep its lunchrooms clean, students do not understand the concept of a garbage can. With the addition of the trays to the lunchroom, the Ramaz administration expected for the lunchrooms to be spotless. However, the trays only made the lunchrooms even messier, with random trays scattered throughout. This course will examine the ways in which one can clean up his or her mess after a meal. We will explore the concept of the garbage can, the recycling bin, and why it is essential for one to clean up his or her mess after eating.

If one engages in conversation with a member of the senior class, it is easy to notice that some words are not fully pronounced. Though not fully pronouncing words is the trend, people in the outside word speak in both full sentences and full words. This course will teach its students how to speak in full words and also teach the importance of non-abbreviated words.

Voices: When Volume Actually Matters

Put Together an Outfit for the “Real” World

Walking through the halls of the Ramaz Upper School, it is easy to mistake the building for a market. Students do not understand what is meant by “indoor” voices and “outdoor” voices. This course will examine the biology behind our vocal chords and teach students how to control their voices. We will explore the consequences of using the incorrect volume, especially when in the 4th floor lounge or when speaking to a teacher. Additionally, we will examine different levels of volume by traveling throughout the many spaces of New York City.

Ramaz’s laid back dress code of sweatshirts and hoodies does not extend into the adult world. Though upsetting, it is important for Ramaz students to understand that one cannot wear a sweatshirt (and sweatpants) to work- it is just unacceptable. This course will examine the many different outfit choices for the workplace. Students will be sure to leave this course with a better sense of appropriate outfits for school and work. Guest speakers will include experts Rabbi Sklarin and Dov, who will model appropriate attire.

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Mean Tweets

Harry Shams ’19

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Entire Student Body Shows Up For Spirit Night

Purim 2018

Intersession Day: The Best One Yet

Caitlin Levine '21 Becky Tauber '19

Intersession this year was unfortunately short- new head of school. Their search will continue.

The entire student body of the Ramaz Upper School ened for all Ramaz Upper School students. Despite Meanwhile, the Public Speaking Club decidhas been intensely following this season of the Boys Varsity that, many of our students’ great young minds spent ed to improve their skills. To this end they watched all Basketball team. After each game, detailed reports have been the day in a productive way furthering their causes of Donald Trump’s press conferences to glean pearls of sent to those few students who unfortunately could not attend and the causes of the clubs they participate in.

While public speaking.

Kudos to them on their HUGE efforts. the game live. The team has continuously brought the school every club seemed to accomplish great things, there

Our unassuming and studious Rabbi’s Club together, as students and faculty alike have been completewere a few, in particular, which reached new heights. got plenty of exercise while they helped tear down ly invested in the standings of the team. The day after a win

As usual, Ms. Benel led a humanitarian misthe mechitza to help unify the co-ed tefilah group. or loss, it is considered unheard of for a member of the school sion.

This time she brought a group of young, super

The Boys’ Hockey Team struggled immensely to not know how many assists Jonny Povman had, how many humble do-gooders to Monaco to help poor people who this year, losing all of their games.

The coach’s mom threes Jonny Beretz scored, and minimally how many points lost all of their money in had the brilliant idea: the team had as a whole. So when the team sent out a message the casino in Monte Carlo. if you look good, your on schoology regarding their important game against TABC, Ms. Benel gave them hugs, playing will be good. which would secure a home game in the playoffs if the Rams bottles of Gatorade, and Therefore, the team spent were victorious, not one person looked at their phones with a her personal email address. the day blinging their sigh and thought, “another schoology post I should ignore… ”

Not to be outdone, uniforms. You go boys!

The day of January 30th was different from any other day the Homeless Shelter Club The Business Inof the year: the students were all in complete game mode. From spent the day brainstormvestment Club had a prothe second one walked into the building, the intensity could be ing creative ideas while ductive day. They were felt. As always, when the students were asked to show their Ram enjoying massages and maseen lunching at Reserve pride, they showed their Ram pride. Blue and gold were the ni-pedis at the Four Seasons Cut while planning their only colors seen throughout the day, besides for the one black Spa. Sarah Kahn ’21 said, next fundraiser. Meansweater worn by Claudine Chabbott ’19, who embarrassingly “I felt so much more prewhile, the Pre-med Club claimed the whole day that she “never got the schoology post,” pared to help the homeless spent the day and an and “of course would’ve worn Ramaz apparel if she had known.” after a hot stone massage. all-nighter munching on

In some schools, the seniors might have been the only The world is now a better cold pizza complaining ones who cared about securing a home playoff game for their last place because I can help.” about how lucky the BIC year in high school. However, this was not the case at Ramaz. Ev To raise awareClub members were to eryone had one goal, and one goal only: beat TABC. Ever since ness for their cause, the have had such a great day. the TABC Storm decided to mess with the Ramaz Rams a couple Environmental Club was Lastly, the Arabic years back by slaughtering our beloved mascot, things have been running around ManClub and Israeli Club personal. The freshmen and sophomores, who weren’t even enhattan.

To prove that got very little accomrolled at the school during the time of this outrage, nonetheless Ramaz students returned from their intersession pollution is bad, they plished during their had a vested interest in watching TABC humiliate themselves on spilled oil in the East the court. The freshmen took the initiative of organizing the enday with photos of exotic and endangered species, joint meeting beRiver, threw garbage in cause they fought over tire school to make posters during each grade’s respective lunch such as this relaxed and peppy human. the reservoir, and flicked where to hold their period. By the end of the day, dozens of posters were made and twisty ties into the Hudmeeting and whethready to be held up at the game. Students put aside their work, son.

Rebecca Araten ’18 explained, “So many er the other club had a right to exist. their family, and any preexisting plans to attend the game. It was people do not realize how bad pollution is.

We Almost universally, students were thrilled with even decided in the teacher’s lounge that no homework would wanted to really demonstrate its consequences.” the opportunity to spend their off day involved in be given due the next day, or even within the week, so that ab The Endangered Species Club was worksuch great things.

Some seniors were even oversolutely no student had any excuse to miss the game (including ing all day but unfortunately did not achieve heard saying, “This day was so much better than the ones who like to get their assignments done a week in admuch.

They spent the day searching for the 5 days of unsupervised fun in Puerto Rico.” vance). Tests were pushed off and quizzes were cancelled: nothing would get in the way of a single student attending the game.

The night of the game was epic. Hundreds of proud Ramaz students filled the gym, cheering and shouting for the home team. The kids stuck at home with the flu logged on to ramaz.org to watch the game being broadcasted. Even more Ramaz alumni were interested in watching the game than Frisch alumni were interested in watching Shiriyah. Although the team had shut out so many of their opponents, TABC was not as easy. The game remained close throughout the first half, and students were yelling and jumping so much that you could feel the ground shake. Ramaz was down by two with 18 seconds left in the fourth quarter. Ramaz was forced to foul, and with TABC in bonus, the play was taken to the line. On the first 1-1 shot, Natalie Kahn '19 the audience cheered so loudly that the TABC player got so flustered that he missed

Ms. Barak has been praying and you’ll be there the entire forty minutes.” the shot. When Ramaz got the rebound, a time out was quickly called with 11 secfor a new toaster ever since day one of After Ms. Barak’s constant reonds left on the clock. At that point, the team decided to go for the three point play her career at Ramaz, and with the arquests that President Isaac Merkin ’19, a to win the game. However, when they looked around the team huddled, they did not rival of 2018, she, along with many student in her junior class, do something know who would be the most reliable player to take the three point shot. Before the other students, finally got her wish. about the terrible toaster, he spent hours team could panic, most valuable three point shooter Eli Sitruk ’18 got up from the The previous toaster garnered numerconvincing Dov to get rid of the old toaster. stands with his jersey on, ready to come out of Varsity basketball retirement to shoot ous complaints from students and facThe students’ combination Hanukkah and the game-winning three. Without hesitation, Sitruk was subbed in for Povman ‘18, ulty about its speed and effectiveness.

New Year’s present was a brand new one. and the game was ready to continue. The crowd went wild as Sitruk dribbled up the The toaster was simply insufficient to

The engineering club, which court and drained the final three pointer on the buzzer. The entire school stormed deal with a hoard of students shoving examined many of the other particuthe court and lifted him up shouting, “MVP! MVP!” Ramaz defeated arch rival each other as they loaded in bagels at lars in choosing a new model, commisTABC, clinching a home game in the playoffs. It was clear that the spirit and student lunch: it could take only a couple bagels sioned the new toaster, a large Dualit ruach helped the boys win the game. The amount of effort that the students put into at a time and moved as slowly as a turtle. Newgen, with the meticulous help of attending this game was just the start, as each and every member of the upper school

“Before, I used to wait forev- Mr. Klotz. “I calculated the force of the is anxiously waiting to attend the home playoff game that the boys had clinched. er to get my bread. I could have gone all spring on the new toaster’s pop-up tray the way to Sant Ambroeus and back to by using Hooke’s Law to be sure the get cup of coffee in the time it took to spring could push up anything from a toast,” says Ms. Barak, munching on her small baguette to a big bagel,” he says. now perfectly crisp whole wheat bagel.

“We knew getting a new toast “I counted--it took a total of er was something very important to the three minutes and thirty-seven seconds to Ramaz students, so we made it a seriwarm one piece of toast,” says Dr. Roten- ous priority,” says Josephine Schizer ’20, berg. “67.5 kJ is the necessary amount another member of engineering club. of heat to toast a piece of bread in 45 “Students have such limited time that seconds, and the nichrome wire simply every second must be spent being prodidn’t produce enough heat to make the ductive, and standing waiting for the toaster have a good percent efficiency.” toaster to work is simply a waste of time.”

Not only that, but all that time toasting “The new toaster is much improved,” didn’t even provide for a well-toasted piece says the gleeful Ms. Barak. “I can now get of bread. David Adler ’19 says, “I used to out of the lunchroom as soon as possible, have to put the bread through the toaster thanks to the successful protest of the stutwo to three times before it was actually dents at SFAC against the old toaster.” toasted. Couple that with a crowd of fresh- All we need next is a panini press, and men during my early sixth-period lunch, the lunchroom supplies will be complete.

The Push for a New Toaster

Impressive attendance at Ramaz Varsity Basketball game

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Scanning in with Fakes Sophia Kremer '20

Unsurprisingly, the school’s new electronic checkin attendance system has been met with contrarians and even scandal. As one might expect, Ramaz students, who are known to be resourceful and conjure up ways out of almost anything, have thought of a loophole around the school’s new high tech checkpoint. The system requires students to scan their newly minted magnetic ID cards first upon entering the building in the morning and then again in their davening locations, registering the time each student arrives at school. And to enforce timely arrival, the administration has also added a stringent policy for latecomers. Students who “check-in” late more than three times per quarter receive a thirty minute detention after school. If a student receives three detentions within a semester, he or she is put on “social probation,” which seems to be a myth but nonetheless worries those college-bound students involved in 13 extracurriculars.

To get around the system, students who are generally tardy (usually the ones who live closest to school, as is a longstanding Ramaz tradition) have been giving their IDs to students who commute to school by bus, which are scheduled to arrive on time each day. The bus students scan the tardy students’ IDs, registering them in the system as on time. These students are, in turn, able to make it

to a 7 AM SoulCycle Class and still have time to shower, stop at Starbucks or Saint Ambrose for a cappuccino and not worry if there’s too long of a line for barista drinks, or even just press snooze a few times extra, old-school style.

Now they can easily get away with coming to school late

“I used to be exhausted, watching Netflix till all hours of the night and then having that alarm start buzzing at 7 AM. Now I can squeeze in an extra hour of sleep and slip into school just before 2nd period...or, if it’s Talmud, 3rd period” said Melissa Adler ’18, who lives just across the street and therefore finds it nearly impossible to make it to school on time.

To make their sneaky act untraceable, students have even had their ID cards duplicated with their doppleganger’s photo just in case the security guard decides to check if they have their IDs when they enter the building. Administration are flustered because they know this is going on but don’t yet have sufficiently advanced technology to catch the students who do this.

They claim that they are “working on it,” just like they are supposedly replacing the computers in the library, finding a new head of school, and bringing back color war.

One source says that the school has a special unit holed up in a hidden room off of staircase C

Purim Word Search

on a top-secret mission to develop eye-scanning stations that will use iris-recognition technology to replace the magnetic ID system and upend imposters.

Rumor has it that the originator of the ID scam meets in Joe’s copying room at 7:15 each evening to service the next customer. And those extra zzzs don’t come cheap.

David Adler ’19 complained that “the IDs are actually ridiculously expensive. I’ve been working on a way to hack the system on my own. There's no way I’m giving into those prices.”

Amital Kaplan ’18 said, “When I first heard about this, I was surprised that it really worked, but once I got one of my own I saw how great it was. It’s a great thing to own and produce. I was also very glad that I decided to go to Ramaz and not Frisch, where they do finger scanning.”

Secretary Ms. Friedman, in charge of giving late notes, exclaimed, “It is so hard to tell if a student genuinely late! Whoever is behind the making of these fake IDs had done a pretty good job.”

Rabbi Slomnicki, organizer of the ID system, said, “I am shocked that students would ever commit an averah like this! I assure that SAR and Frisch students would never do something like this!”

Administration fear that it is only a matter of time before students hack the snow day alerts.

Library Update Once Again Gaby Ostad ’21

It is a wonderful feeling to be able to walk into the library with a smile because all the computers work and print perfectly. At Ramaz, lines and crowds around computers and the photocopy machine are slim to none. Everything is always running as smoothly as can be--thirteen working computers, all updated every year with the newest software and fastest internet speed. And printers that, of course, are flawless. The library’s atmosphere itself is so silent that you can hear a pin drop. What could be better?

Nothing is what you may be thinking. Yet just a few days ago, on Tuesday, February 20th, Ramaz students were met with a surprise as they returned, relaxed and refreshed, from their February break. The 4th floor oasis became even more perfect with the addition of two new printers and five hologram computers, along with iPads in the center of each circular table, where clusters of friends can play games or collaborate on group projects together.

Rushing to print out an assignment at a computer right before class is a popular activity at Ramaz that students find to be a relatively easy and relaxing process. As of this past week, however, students don’t even need to make the trek to the back side of the library’s age-old line up of computers because now, they can just motion at the hologram devices that have replaced the first row of bookshelves and print their assignments instantaneously (as opposed to waiting three minutes).

“I was overwhelmed and overjoyed when I walked into the library on that Tuesday morning,” said Aliza Freilich ’20. “Even though the library has always been my favorite spot at school, where everything would just work so perfectly, the addition of these hologram computers has allowed me to arrive at the library at 8:54 am to print or turn in an essay on turnitin and arrive at class on time by 8:55.” Will Besharim ’18 agreed with Freilich and said: “I’m so happy they replaced some of the

bookshelves with the new technology—who even reads books anymore?”

While the single printer and photocopy machine was suited well for the 400-person student body in past years, with some opting for the art room when they wanted color printing, now there are two new machines that solely print and copy in color. They each fill up the middle of Ms Scudera’s ring shaped desk like perfect puzzle pieces. “The convenient color printing in the library is fantastic. Now I can photocopy other people’s notes in color so that I can identify each highlight as well as the faint blue of the lines on the college-ruled notebook paper,” said meticulous note-photocopier Maya Shalom ’18.

The iPads in the center of each light beige table are the final treat in the library’s new look. Frantic pretest lunch study sessions have become even easier and the fourth and sixth floor lounges are becoming emptier by the day as students opt for the library’s new social scene revolving around the touch screens. While seniors once played Mario Cart on a TV screen in their lounge, many now come to the library for intense and mesmerizing games of Temple Run and Subway Surfers on the tablets, while friends huddle around to watch. The library is buzzing like it never has before.

Although the new social scene has caused more talking, Ms. Scudera promised that she is in the process of ordering silence monitors to put at each corner of the room so that conversations at one table aren’t heard at another. Rabbi Pianko, who played a big part in organizing this fourth floor haven, is thrilled with the results. “This is definitely the best change we’ve made in years - it definitely beats Community, the painted stairwells, and RAMJAM by a lot,” he said. “I can tell that not only are things operating with lightning speed, but that the student body is coming together in ways never seen before.”

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The Quiet Room Gets Loud Yasmine Sokol '19

As students and faculty approached the entrance to the library on what seemed like a calm, relaxed, and mundane Thursday afternoon, they heard sounds of banging.

Rabbi Stavsky reached for the door knob, but, to his surprise, found it locked. Confused, he ran to Rabbi Stochel’s office to report this event and ask for a key, explaining what he had heard. Together, the Rabbis made their way into the library, where they discovered that the “banging” was coming directly from the quiet room. “It sounded like music, but I can’t say what it was,” said Rabbi Stavsky. “It was not kosher and not what students at a Yeshiva should hear.” There it was, blasting, along with flashing lights. The windows had paper taped to them, so the Rabbis could not see what was going on inside the quiet room. Rabbi Stochel attempted to open the door, but when he went to grab the knob he realized it was nowhere to be found.

Dr. Milowitz, on his way to chill in the teacher’s lounge, was sent to the lobby to bring Dwight. “I was planning on grading my papers then,” said Dr. Milowitz, “so it’s

not my fault that I couldn’t get that done.” He strolled down to the lobby, stopping for some coffee on the way, and explained the situation to Dwight. Dwight, seeing the major security risk, immediately rushed upstairs to break down the door. When the door fell down, the teachers could not believe their eyes.

Rabbi Stochel immediately fainted.

While he recovered, Dwight inspected the scene. There were about 20 kids in the room, music playing, papers flying everywhere, and lights shining in all different colors. The students could not be tamed. GO President Richie Hafif ’18 left the party for a minute to explain “school took away intersession--so as president I brought it to school. Better than post shabbaton ruach if you ask me.”

Rabbi Slomnicki, as Dean of Student Life, was summoned to fix the situation. However, all he said was, “Well, why wasn’t I invited? I want to be included in the parties!” Seconds later, he joined the party and brought along his Laffy Taffys, which he thought would spice up the scene.

With Rabbi Stochel sick, and Rab-

bi Slomnicki enjoying himself a little too much, Dwight decided to take control of the matter himself. He ran downstairs to the gym and, with Coach Dulny’s help, collected all of the baseball bats. After that, he re-entered the library and stormed into the quiet room with a bat in hand. Ms. Scudera followed close behind him, yelling “Everyone get out of my library!” All the students screamed in fear. Rabbi Slomnicki could barely contain himself. They all bolted out of that room as quickly as they could, grabbed their notebooks, and ran back to class.

The chesed, tzedakah, and environmental clubs were brought in to clean up the mess.

“This is why the quiet room should have remained the office of the librarian,” said a smug Ms. Scudera. “I have been saying that all along.”

As soon as Rabbi Stochel heard that the students were back in class and that the room was all cleaned up, he was suddenly back to his typical self, tucking his shirt back in and straightening his tie. “I can’t believe students in Ramaz would do such things. An email must be sent out to par-

ents and we should have grade meetings to discuss how this goes against our school values of Hineini,” said Rabbi Stochel.

As always, everything quickly returned to normal. Those students who typically attend classes were back in class, the seniors were in their lounge or the park, Rabbi Stochel and Slomnicki returned to their offices, and Dwight was back in the lobby. The “party room” resumed its role as the “quiet room” once again.

It has recently come to the attention of some faculty members that it is unfair for students to receive only one Citizenship Report for each violation of school rules that they commit, seeing that some rules are much more important than others. Therefore, the school has set these specific numbers of reports as punishment for each possible infraction:

Davening: The Most Productive Study Session

The Solution to the Search for a New Leader

Derek Korff-Korn '18

The Ramaz Upper School is known for its deeply religious and spiritual students, wanting only to daven, show their school spirit, and learn Torah. However, the fast academic pace means that, however unimportant, the work still needs to be done. Sometimes, this pressure drives students to go beyond seeking Hashem’s guidance or intervention and to instead rely on their own brains; students have been caught regularly by the devout Rabbis of the grade minyans vigorously studying or cramming for the test of the day.

In one instance, Rebecca Araten ’18, despite being accepted

by Harvard and a second semester senior, has been motivated to attain no less than an A+ in all of her second semester classes and mini courses. With this commitment, she has begun to be distracted after the long

Musical Chairs

and tiresome days of school, and, after a night of binge watching NBC’s The Office, resorts to sneaking her hastily made review sheet for her AP Biology class into the morning Shacharit minyan. She has been seen doing this for other honors classes as well and is able to carefully hde from the pacing teachers each time.

Multiple other students have been caught attempting to study during davening. One student, Emanuella Rozenfield ’18, disagreed with the teachers’ effort to crackdown on students who were ignoring minyan rules and resort to review sheets.

She said, “Obviously if I’m studying during davening it means I already davened in a hashkama minyan outside of school, so I should be allowed to study during davening.” On the other hand, senior Jonathan Povman ‘18 believes that, “if one were to uti-

lize all of their studying time, and ignore all distractions such as Netflix and Snapchat, studying during minyan would not be necessary.”

Faculty who are present in senior minyan, such as Rabbi Gober and Rabbi Sklarin, are appalled that students would ever desecrate the holy practice of morning davening by studying or sneaking in review sheets. “As Grade Dean,” says Rabbi Sklarin, “I hope I have continued the Ramaz setting where students are not overloaded with school work and diligently pray and continue their sacred relationship with Hashem.” For the rare number of students who do not get away with their misconducts, the penalty for studying during davening is staying for Ma’ariv after school. Ironically, this then becomes an opportunity to get a head start on the next day’s studying.

The search committee for the new Head of School has publicly described its new system for filling the position. Failing to find a suitable candidate after a traditional search throughout the United States and Canada, the committee has decided on an unusual methodology – they will pick ten random people and have them compete in a musical chairs competition. “The winner gets the Iron Throne, if you will,” said one member of the board. “Really, what do we have to lose,” said another parent.

The contest will take place on Purim in an undisclosed location.

Judging the event will be Dov Pianko, who majored in musical chairs in college. “It’s exciting,” said Dov, “to have so much responsibility. I’m more used to deciding which cookies to give out at homeroom on Fridays.

But I’m ready.” The winner will be announced Purim evening. As has become Ramaz’s custom, after the new Head of School is let go at the end of next year, another system will be utilized to find his or her replacement.

Purim 2018

The Rampage Ramaz Upper School

New York | Volume 51 | Issue V | Purim 5778/2018

Editors-in-Chief: Rebecca Araten Abigail Huebner Julia Levi Faculty Advisor: Dr. Milowitz Contributing Writers: Josephine Schizer Harry Shams Hannah Doft David Grinberg Natalie Kahn Naomi Freilich Rebecca Massel Becky Tauber Hadley Kauvar Caitlin Levine Suzi Dweck Derek Korff-Korn Gabby Ostad Sophia Kremer Samantha Sinensky Yasmine Sokol Gail Hafif

The Rampage

9

Navigating Ramaz Where You Can Find...

Mice, teachers who aren't invited to the exclusive fourth floor teacher's lounge, the challah bakery, sandwich packing, dance studio, play practice, choir and percussion week: The Auditorium Senior Boys: The Locker Room Girls Swim Team: The Eighth Floor Any girl during Davening: The Bathrooms Stressed Juniors: The College Office Seniors: Ms. Shulman's Office Ms. Friedman: The Lobby, taking attendance (along with the scanners) Ms. Benel: Everywhere Rabbi Stochel: Nowhere (occasionally spotted in the lobby until 8:04)

The Rampage is the student newspaper of the Ramaz Upper School. It is published on a monthly basis. Letters to the editor may be submitted to rampage@ramaz.org.

Letters must be signed and may be edited for space and to conform to Rampage style and format.

The opinions expressed in the Rampage are of the author’s alone, and do not represent the views or opinions of Ramaz, the Rampage, or its Editors.

The Purim issue of the Rampage is meant to produce a lively spirit and to exist as a piece of satire. None of the information in this issue, including quotes and names, should be taken as objective truth.

*

New ID System Raises Controversy David Grinberg '19

Ramaz recently perfected its prison entrance system, where inmates must electronically sign their name, serial number, social security number, and blood type. They then scan these cards in each day, and the exact location of each inmate is monitored.

However, there have been several technical flaws, including a breach in the eighth floor pool entrance. Inmates explained that they had scanned in with their cards, so it must be okay. The pool door was breached and several people were caught red hand-

Josephine Schizer '20

ed eating Serafina. The school office was locked down in order to get to the bottom of things.

There are many peo-

Students Wi-Fi doesn’t work.

Dr. Milowitz complained that “Now I can’t play my morning golf anymore…

This new school system is shaking up the fragile ecosystem in which we live. ple who believe that some type of Constitutional Right is being attacked. However, nobody wants to go to the library to look it up, and they can’t check Wikipedia because the US-

the system gives ​ me detention as well!” He was then seen running to the nearest bagel supplier.

Sarah Genachowski ’19, when asked for her thoughts on the school free labor system, de-

claring that “The system does not control me! I control the system!” and then ran off after Dr. Milowitz to console him.

There seems to be a lot of animosity towards the school ID system. Getting quotes is rather difficult, because whenever people are asked, they look around for cameras and whisper “Big Brother is watching.” I am not sure what they mean, but this new school system is shaking up the fragile ecosystem in which we live.

Ramaz's Infamous Schedule

For incoming Ramaz freshmen, figuring out the Ramaz schedule is one of the greatest challenges of the first few weeks. Between M, R, A, B, C, E, and F days, Rosh Chodesh schedules, AM or PM assemblies, regular and winter Fridays, and different davening times on Mondays and Thursdays, the schedule can be baffling at first. New freshies wonder why Ramaz can’t just operate on a regular schedule based on days of

the week like most schools.

After keeping the secret safe for many years, Rabbi Stochel has finally cracked.

“The Ramaz schedule is a test for incoming students,” admitted Rabbi Stochel, “Ramaz doesn’t really take BJE results or middle school grades seriously; we just consider whether a student will be able to navigate our schedule. It’s the real admissions criteria.”

“We see a lot of students leaving after

freshman year,” says Aviva Leiber in the admissions office, “Those are the students who couldn’t cope with the Ramaz schedule.

After all, you can only go to the wrong classroom so many times before you decide to change schools.”

Once they heard this explanation, many freshmen were finally satisfied with the confusing schedule, even embracing it. As Ramaz students, tests are definitely something they are able to un-

derstand.

“Now that I know the schedule is a test I’m determined to conquer it. I want an A+,” one freshman girl was overheard saying.

This revelation goes a step further. Ramaz’s main competition in the yeshiva world is SAR and Frisch. SAR’s schedule is based on days of the week, but has 4 different options for Wednesdays. Frisch’s schedule is just based on days of the week. Students

who can’t deal with the rigor of Ramaz’s intense schedule turn to SAR, and those who can’t even make sense of the 4 Wednesday options go to Frisch (sorry, Dr. Rotenberg).

10

The Rampage

New Bathroom Break Policy Looms Over Finals

Hannah Doft '20

When students were informed that they could no longer go to the bathroom as they wished during finals, madness spread throughout the school.

“How will I be able to sit through a two hour final after drinking my trente sized iced coffee!” exclaimed an angry Olivia Bourkoff ’19. “Why don’t you try holding in your bladder for two hours?” asked Vivienne Shalom ’20. The school responded to an overwhelming amount of complaints like these and attempted to make a compromise. Two hour exams were broken up into two parts, the first 75 minutes long and the second 45. If a student chose to go to the bathroom, they were required to hand in the first part of the exam, which was not returned to them. For 1 hour and 30 minute exams, no bathroom breaks were allowed at all.

This new bathroom policy changed the way students performed their everyday routines. Some students took the rule to an extreme. “It’s called NDP10, no drinks past 10 pm, and it’s what everyone is doing these days,” said Yael Weber ’20. Other students took this as an opportunity to test their teachers, “If I got to go, then I got to go. No one is stopping me,” said Gabi Potter ’20.

Students were constantly re-

minded of this new policy, as it was read before each and every final. By the last day of finals, even the proctors were fed up with all the repetition, “We are just going to skip all of this nonsense, you know what to do,” said Mr. Lupinacci.

Many teachers, however, did not know what to do, struggling more with the new system than the students did. New teacher Rabbi Becker was spotted crying in the bathroom, and he finally admitted that a senior in the final he had proctored that day had yelled at the underclassmen,“Why can’t you understand these instructions?!” Rumor has it that some teachers even disappeared during finals, too overwhelmed by the new format to remain in school for the tests.

At the end of the day, students and teachers alike accepted these new finals’ policies whether they liked them or not, but one question remained unanswered: What happened during bathroom breaks before they were eliminated?

Purim 2018

Overnight Success Samantha Sinensky '21

Wake up students! The faculty of Ramaz, specifically the ones forced to daven with each grade minyan, have grown more and more frustrated with the tardiness and the lack of focus and kavanah at davening. Despite efforts to eliminate morning lateness to davening, such as the newly installed ID swiping system, and detention for serial offenders, (or is that cereal for those who would rather have breakfast than daven), students were still able to find a way to beat the system. “I just give my ID to a friend who always arrives to school on time, she swipes my ID in for me,”

Bath and Beyond, and Rabbi Stochel, a new initiative is being considered to eliminate lateness to Shacharit davening.

The eureka moment came when Rabbi Stochel was informed that 72% of the student body was arriving late for morning minyan. He claimed, “I will not take this lying down.” At that very moment, he had his epiphany. Repeat offenders would sleep in at school, where there will be no problem with hashkama. “This is clearly a better solution,” he explained, “than broken scanning systems enforced by nonexistent social probation.”

The added benefit would be that

said Ramaz local Rebecca Massel ’21.

The problem is compounded by those bused in from great distances. Attempts have been make to skype the tefilah to the buses, but a lot is lost in the ruach, not to mention traffic hazards that may occur.

Other students feel they need to cram some last minute studying in before important exams and rushing to Shacharit cuts into this precious time.

“They can’t expect us to daven with Kavanah if we are tired and are pressured to do well in school and one test can lower my GPA by .0001!” an anonymous college bound senior complained.

“We have to find a solution without compromise,” said Rabbi Stochel. In a collaborative effort from the esteemed Ramaz Five Star caterer, Bed

students can study all night if they wish, and still manage to get some rest and be on time for davening without being rushed. And, of course, these students will be able to daven with the level of kavanah demonstrated by most Ramaz students; it is clear to the administrators that exhaustion was the only thing stopping students from having full kavanah and spiritual connection to davening.

There is a commitment from Ramaz to section off a part of the SAC to create an overnight sleep and study area so that students can study most of the night, get some rest, and eat well, while still arriving to davening rested and on time.

Details are still being worked out. Rabbi Stochel has announced that he will not rest until the situation is resolved. In the meantime, the rest of us will sleep on it.

Ramaz in the iPad Age Rebecca Massel '21

In the latest of many Schoology notifications, Ramaz has announced its intention to distribute new iPad Pros to all upper school students for the upcoming 2018-2019 school year. Say goodbye to textbooks and notebooks!

All Gemaras and english books will only be available in their electronic versions.The switch was inspired by Ramaz’s competition, SAR High School, which has been handing out iPads for years.

This change will allow Ramaz to no longer store heavy textbooks. The lockers, where these books were once shelved, will be removed entirely, allowing for enough room to build a lounge for each grade. “We love the senior lounge--and what the seniors have done with it--so much that we wanted to give each grade this

opportunity. After all, students who do not wish to go to class deserve to have a comfortable place to take naps, blast music, and play games,” explained Rabbi Slomnicki. “It’s Community.”

Environment Club

ated by this project, club leaders offered to look into the matter. We are still awaiting their response.

Moving to electronics will also avoid the infamous pushing and shoving at the printer before finals. Ms. Scudera said: “Al-

lemon-- the pop-up store is located next to the gym. For the colder winter months, cases will also be offered by Montclair and Canada Goose. Mr. Kenny Rochlin, Head of Institutional Advancement, proclaimed, “Fi-

The switch was inspired by Ramaz’s competition, SAR High School, which has been handing out iPads for years. member Samantha Sinensky ’21 exclaimed, “I am excited to see what this change will do for the health of the environment, especially as a school in the heart of New York City, which uses so much paper and kills so many trees everyday.” When asked about the disposal of the many lithium batteries and obsolete devices gener-

though I love seeing and hearing students in the library everyday, I am looking forward to the end of excessive paper jams!”

To enhance students’ experiences with the iPads, the devices will be accompanied by multiple accessories. Ramaz logoed iPad cases will be available for purchase from Lulu-

nally, the ability to take a piece of Ramaz wherever you go!”

IPads will also be used to enhance Ramaz’s already relaxed atmosphere. There will be a daily twenty minute break for HQ instead of mincha. Students will receive free Netflix accounts, for use both at home and during boring classes. “We understand

that not everyone wants to sit through another Talmud class, so we decided it was time to address this and provide more flexible options,” explained Rabbi Stochel.

According to an anonymous administrator, Netflix will help students be more efficient and stop procrastinating. Finally, whenever a Supreme drop occurs, classes will break so students can try to buy the shoes, sweatshirts, toothbrushes and, most worthwhile, bricks for the best available prices.

The STEM Club volunteered to act as the Genius Bar and will receive co-branded Apple-Ramaz-Supreme shirts. The Chesed Committee will distribute refurbished iPad Pros to the disadvantaged students (i.e., students who attend Flatbush and use Windows).

Purim 2018

Harry Shams '19

The Rampage

11

Ramaz Teachers Indicted in Gambling Ring

Ramaz students were shocked to hear that several of the school’s own faculty had been arrested after competing in a recurring illegal, high-stakes poker game. Over fifteen teachers were indicted in the gambling ring, many of whom pleaded guilty to charges beyond illegal gambling.

Dr. Milowitz, for example, pleaded guilty to illegally importing Cuban Cigars during the United States’ embargo on the communist country. The majority of those indicted, however, were brought up solely on the charge of illegal gambling. Through a reliable source, the Rampage was able to retrieve information about the details and wagers of the facul-

ty’s underground gambling ring.

According to Rabbi Slomnicki, who was working as an informant for federal agents for the duration of the gambling ring’s existence, faculty members would wager valuable personal

cusing one another of cheating.

One time, I even saw Rabbi Sklarin try to run off with the pot before Mr. Dulny took him out back and ‘took care of him,’ if you know what I mean.” When asked if he remembered any nota-

wagered and lost his famous Aladdin hat in the game, and has been using a fake ever since.

While the official whereabouts of the nightly game have yet to be disclosed, many are suggesting that faculty were us-

“The game was mayhem. You’d have teachers accusing one another of cheating. One time, I even saw Rabbi Sklarin try to run off with the pot before Mr. Dulny took him out back and ‘took care of him,’ if you know what I mean.” --Rabbi Slomnicki possessions at each game, with the winner taking all. Slomnicki described the game, stating that most nights, “The game was mayhem. You’d have teachers ac-

ble personal possessions wagered, Slomnicki recalled that Mr. Lupinacci once boldly wagered his Yale Diploma and Mug. Slomnicki also recalled how Mr. Deutsch

would make absolute sense. Every morning for a year I would walk into my office at the beginning of the day and find empty boxes with the label ‘Milo’s Famous Cubanos- Imported Illegally.’ Also, I’m pretty sure that Ms. Chechik may have been involved in this game because she started drinking from a Yale University Mug. Maybe it’s just a coincidence.”

ing Rabbi Stochel’s office as the game’s main base of operations.

When asked for a comment about such rumors, Rabbi Stochel responded by saying that “that

Literary Seminar...

Ramaz Rabbis Turned Syrian Harry Shams '19

Rabbi Anstandig and Rabbi Schimmel have officially decided to abandon their Ashkenazi roots and convert to Syrian Judaism. In a joint statement, the two Rabbis explained how their time praying with the Sephardic Minyan drove their decision to convert. As the statement says, “Over the past year, we have had the privilege to daven with the Sephardic Minyan on a daily basis. The Minyan has opened our eyes to the beauty in Syrian traditions.

We know this decision is controversial, but sometimes it’s important to just say ‘Haj’ and follow your heart.”

Most Judaic faculty members were upset by the Rabbis’ decision to abandon Ashkenazi Judaism. In a series of furious tweets, Rabbi Schiowitz condemned the decision and demanded that the two Rabbis abandon their plans to convert. In one tweet, most of which have been retracted for their explicit language and overuse of the angry-face emoji, Schiowitz writes, “The two of you are ‘@$%&?’ traitors!!! How dare you go to the dark (skinned) side!!!”

Some faculty members wel-

Puerto Rico Partying Josephine Schizer ’20

comed the Rabbis’ decision to adopt Sephardic Judaism. Rabbi Albo, for instance, was overjoyed by the decision, and has even taken steps to oversee their conversion. “I think it’s amazing that Rabbi Anstandig and Rabbi Schimmel have decided to come over to our side,” says Albo, “But frankly, I can’t believe it took them so long! It takes Ashkenazi Jews three hours to get up to Shema! That’s unbearable!”

Students from the Sephardic Minyan were happy to hear the news, as well. One Sephardic Minyan attendee, Hank Shalom ’19, says, “Everyone in the Minyan was thrilled to hear that Anstandig and Schimmel had decided to become ‘SYs.’” When asked what aspect of the Sephardic Minyan most likely motivated the two Rabbis to make the switch, Shalom noted that “The behavior and overall participation in the Minyan probably played a big role.”

At first, seniors were dismayed to hear that 2018 intersession had been cancelled, the time when seniors usually embark on a trip to Puerto Rico.

“That trip was the highlight of my high school experience,” says Gabe Klapholz ’17, “Nothing at Yale can even compare to the Ramaz Puerto Rico trip.”

However, upon hearing the seniors’ concerns, the Ramaz administration, as receptive and responsive as always, acted quickly to assuage them.

“Although we cancelled intersession, we did extend February break,” said Ms. Krupka, “We knew the seniors would be distressed about the Puerto Rico trip, so the extended break should allow them to go to Puerto Rico for even longer!”

“Puerto Rico for a week is better than Puerto Rico for a weekend after all!” said Rebecca Araten ’18.

Even beyond extending February break for the senior trip, the school made additional accommodations: convincing Ms. Benel to schedule a mission to Puerto Rico to further facilitate the trip. The administration was worried that some parents wouldn’t let their children go on

the trip, so “we created the mission in order to convince skeptical parents that the Puerto Rico trip is school sanctioned and an important part of the senior year curriculum,” said Rabbi Stochel. “Hopefully, the mission will convince parents who wouldn’t otherwise let their seniors go that this is a good opportunity for them.”

“Clearly, the service element of the trip is a farce,” admitted Ms. Benel, “It’s just an excuse to get the seniors to Puerto Rico so they can relax!”

“It’s so nice that the school is listening to our concerns,” says Abigail Huebner ’18, “They found out how disappointed we were about missing the intersession trip and scheduled this instead. Thanks, Rabbi Stochel!”

Purim 2018

The Rampage

Crossword 12

Crossword Puzzle

Ben Silverman '20

Down: 1. Pisco con la biblioteca 3. Leader of Sephardic culture club 4. Purim antagonist 5. Group led to death by Marshall Applewhite 7. Name-drowning noisemaker 8. Famous existential question posed by Hamlet 9. Location practically exclusive to 12th graders 12. Group of elite Ramaz singers 13. Location of 2018 Winter Olympics 14. Historical rap musical 19. He marked his territory on the basketball court 20. Student who shares a name with Joe the copy guy, colloqially 23. Purim protagonist

Accross: 2. Quantity having both magnitude and direction 6. Test recently taken by many numerically inclined students 10. TV show based very loosely off of Lord of the Flies 11. Number of languages spoken by Mordechai, allegedly 15. Tribe of Mordechai, or name of creator of this puzzle 16. Number of hanged sons 17. Reason for Queen Vashti's absence 18. Quarterback who let his team to Super Bowl 52 victory 21. Reverbations 22. Warm commodity provided daily for a week, surprisingly 24. Countries presided over by the Persian monarch 25. Classic candidate for greatest movie of all time