MEDIATION AND THE SHADOW BY ADAM BALDWIN

MEDITATION AND THE SHADOW

BY ADAM BALDWIN

Do you sometimes find yourself ruminating about past hurts? You're thinking about that argument at work. it is 1.30 in the morning and you are still thinking about it?

Have you ever wished there was a way you could clear your mind of it?

Dwelling on negative emotions can make you lose sleep, cause restlessness and increase frustration. It eats up massive amounts of your time and it is in fact impossible to be happy whilst dwelling on past pains.

If left unchecked it can lead to loss of confidence, self-worth and in extreme cases depression. This can have a knock-on effect in all aspects of your life.

There is however a practical way you can stop this issue. It is easy, effective and if done regularly can maintain a better balance in your life. I call it the Rapid Emotional Release process.

As a teacher of Meditation and Mindfulness, I have often been surprised how some of the simplest techniques can be life altering. It was during my time working with a woman who had obsessive thoughts of her ex-partner. She was unable to go through the day without hoping that she would receive a call from her ex - knowing full well they would never return. This longing became a craving which she could not control, gradually tearing down her self-esteem. Through employing the use of the Mindful Emotion process, I was able to assist in creating a space between her and her thoughts. This helped her to manage her emotions easier. She was able to see when her obsessive thinking would arise and know how to neutralise it. The ability to recognise that you are not your thoughts but the observer of them creates great freedom!

Mindfulness and Meditation has come under a lot of scientific scrutiny over the past 4 decades. Over3,500 peer assessed papers have praised its effectiveness. Large corporations and celebrities have adopted it into their lives (some even accrediting Meditation as the source of their success).

It starts with Acceptance of the shadow

To approach an issue positively is to first acknowledge it. It is ok to say ' I am hurting'. Accept the pain. Accepting it creates new ground for a new relationship with it. As opposed to struggling with it and fighting it (creating further inner conflict), acceptance opens space to handle this problem with greater creativity!

Acceptance disrupts the pattern of hurt by saying 'I'm going to look at this in a different light'. Taking an observer's stance as opposed to a participant's role. Treat it not as an oppressor but as something to study.

The shadow aspect of our lives is unavoidable. The hint is in the name ‘shadow’. Where you go it follows. Never deny the dark as it will find expression through other means. The fear of facing it can cause us to run into narrow positive psychology. Putting a brave face on, running from it, drinking

it, drugging it. Adopting philosophies that can explain it, intellectually but not emotionally grasping it.

The shadow for my client, who could not let go of her ex was an ongoing battle with depression. Whilst in a relationship she always felt whole, believing she needed another to become somebody. She had always believed, as far back as she could remember, that she was never good enough. After a teenage life of being bullied and suffering suicidal thoughts she only ever wanted to be accepted. This always took the form of romantic relationships.

She would cling on when the relationship was long dead because she feared her shadow - I am not good enough. On accepting this and bringing it into clear view she became empowered. It was here that we started to tackle this issue.

The Rapid Emotion Release process removes you from the problem and places you high above it. Releasing you from the tyranny of the emotional pain, you can observe the thoughts for what they are - passing sensations. You get to experience the thoughts in your mind without getting caught up in them and see how they feel in your body. You start to understand how these feelings rise and fall. As your understanding of your own emotions develops you become more aware of your moods. This awareness puts you in the driver's seat of your life. You are no longer managed by your negative emotions; it is you who manages them.

In adopting Mindful practices, you are able to maintain a greater mental balance in life. But you are never running from the shadow: you are working with it.

The rising and falling of thoughts and emotions need not dominate your life. You simply need to know how to address them.

If you would like to try the Rapid Emotion Release process or reach out about all things Meditation please let me know. At Baldwin Wellness we are offering a 15% discount on our services throughout January 2022. Just mention this article and start 2022 in control of your life!