Truly Foul & Cheesy Science Jokes and Facts Book

Truly Foul & C heesy

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ience c S Jokes & Fact s

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hn Townsend Antram

oh ten by J Writ y avid r a te d b y D lI lluussttrated b Il

Truly Foul

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n e c i e c S Jokes

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Published in Great Britain in MMXVII by Book House, an imprint of The Salariya Book Company Ltd 25 Marlborough Place, Brighton BN1 1UB www.salariya.com ISBN: 978-1-912006-73-1

(1@1*9,1 © The Salariya Book Company Ltd MMXVII All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

135798642 A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Printed and bound in China.

Printed on paper from sustainable sources.

This book is sold subject to the conditions that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form or binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Created and designed by David Salariya.

Visit

www.salariya.com for our online catalogue and free fun stuff.

Author: John Townsend worked as a secondary school teacher before becoming a full-time writer.

He specialises in illuminating and humorous information books for all ages.

Artist: David Antram studied at Eastbourne College of Art and then worked in advertising for 15 years before becoming a full-time artist.

He has illustrated many children’s non-fiction books.

Truly Foul

& Cheesy

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n e c i e c S Jokes

This Truly F oul & Cheesy book belong s to: ....................

& Fact

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Written by

John Townsend

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Illustrated by

David Antram

Truly Foul & Cheesy

Science Jokes & Facts

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Warning – reading this book might not make you LOL (la ugh out loud) but it could make you GOL (groan out loud), feel sick out loud or SEL (scream even louder). If you’re reading this in a library by a SILENCE sign… get ready to be thrown out for LO L-GOL-SEL!

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The author really hasn’t made anything up in this book (apart fro m some daft limericks and jokes).

He checked out the foul facts as bes t he could and even double-checked the fouler bits to make absolutely sur e – so please don’t get too upset if you find out something different or meet a world famous mad scientist/historian/tota l genius who happens to know better .

If I had my way, I’d RATify the lot!’

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Science Secrets The word science comes from the Latin ‘scientia’, meaning knowledge. In other words, , science is all about trying to find information that answers and solutions – but be warned… can take scientists into some gross, yucky, foul, disgusting and blood – curdlingly cheesy places. By the end of this book, you will be totally foul-and-cheesied out… so here’s – another warning: don’t read this at bedtime nightmares guaranteed! (Scientifically tested .) by a team of mad scientists with foulometers

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A Quick Guide to Science: • If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s bio logy • If it stinks, it’s chemistry • If it sparks, it’s physics • If it’s very high up, it’s astronom y • If it hurts, it’s medical science • If it makes you feel sick, it’s food science • If it’s dead, it’s CSI forensic scie nce • If it crashes and needs rebooting , it’s computer science And they’re all in this book!

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Foul Food Science Science is everywhere – especially in the kitchen. Whene ver you cook or eat food, there’s a lot of science going on.

To make a delicious pot nood le, A boiled egg or hot apple stru del, There’ll be lots of reliance On amazing food science To cook the whole jolly cabood le.

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Just for a taster, try these foul s and cheesy food science facts a a starter: Yummy jelly beans and why they look so tempting...

often used to Shellac is a chemical that is and furniture. Yet it improve the shine of wood the shine of some can also be used to improve here does shellac foods, such as jelly beans. W insect in Asia come from? It oozes from an s! Oh yes, and those called the lac bug. Deliciou ll as plenty of other lovely red jelly beans (as we dye in them called red coloured food) can have crushed-up tree cochineal. It comes from a bug. Mmm.

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

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It might be best to stick to a good healthy salad. We all know that’s good for us, don’t we? True – but some salads might be hiding something foul if scientists have been at work. In many fast food restaurants, packaged salads are dusted with a chemical called Propylene Glycerol, to keep lettuce crispier for longer. This chemical is also used in antifreeze – so maybe eating lots of lettuces will stop you feeling frozen (unless they’re iceberg lettuces!) ed water, about oneWhen scientists tested bottl d synthetic organic third of the samples containe n arsenic. In a study, chemicals, bacteria, and eve re brands were tested over 900 bottles and 100 sto Defense Council of by the National Resources ink from the tap, in the USA. If you prefer a dr than 115,000 humansome places there are more ding their way into made chemicals that are fin m. So next time you the public water supply syste ght need to water it pour a glass of water, you mi down before you drink it!

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How about some foul AND cheesy food science facts?

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Many packaged processed cheese s aren’t cheese at all but a ‘cheese-like sub stance’. Any cheese product labelled as proces sed includes additives, chemicals and flavouring s that make up 49 percent of the total product.

That cheap cheese in your fridge has just eno ugh real cheese in it to allow companies to call it cheese.

And as for what food technologists squeeze into some sausages… it’s so disgusting, we’re not allowed to tell you.

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Science Jokes & Facts

Casu Marzu is a cheese made from sheep’s milk with a little help from biology. Ch eese flies are purposely added to the mixture. Th is cheese is a delicacy in Sardinia, and as it is made, the young flies and maggots go hyper.

The taste of this maggoty cheese is so strong it can burn your tongue, and if the undigested fly larv a get into your intestines, you’ll be spending a long time in the bathroom. Enjoy!

When Swiss cheese ferments, the the bacteria inside creates a gas. When the gas is released, it forms bubbles in es are cheesy mixture. This is how the hol s is, new made in Swiss cheese. The great holes you can eat as many of the cheese ght. as you like and not put on any wei That’s clever cheesy science.

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Cheesy joke Did you hear about th e biologist who made his own mouldy blue cheese packed with mushrooms and to ok it to a party?

After all, he was a fung i (fun guy). Groan.

Time for some GRUB!

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WOW Science uld... did While on the subject of mo ics were you know the first antibiot 1928, the discovered by accident? In r Fleming Scottish scientist Alexande lab but was growing bacteria in his mistake. he used a dirty petri dish by d ZAP! Mould began to grow in it an om this It killed off the bacteria. Fr the drug mould, Fleming developed by Penicillin, which is now used ections. doctors to kill bacterial inf

Mouldy joke Microbiologists often travel the world and speak many languages. After all, they are people of many cultures (get it?). It’s best not to let one make your lunch – just in case.

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Stinky Space Science

onaut and travel tr as an e b to ke have done Would you li ds of scientists ayed for re d n u H e? ac in sp e st e and many hav research in spac ations. But it’s not all e st months in spac e’s a downside of being ‘up er h T . cool science ! to find out why there’... read on

My rocket salad is really taking off.

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