Truly Foul and Cheesy William Shakespeare Facts and Jokes Book

Truly Foul & C heesy

TM

p s e e a k r a e h S acts okes F &J

ohn Townsend ten by J Writ y David Antram r a te d b t s u l Il

Truly Foul

& Cheesy

TM

p s e k e a a re h S Facts & Jo k e s

Published in Great Britain in MMXVIII by Book House, an imprint of The Salariya Book Company Ltd 25 Marlborough Place, Brighton BN1 1UB www.salariya.com ISBN: 978-1-912233-79-3

(1@1*9,1 © The Salariya Book Company Ltd MMXVIII All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

135798642 A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Printed and bound in China.

Printed on paper from sustainable sources.

This book is sold subject to the conditions that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form or binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Created and designed by David Salariya.

Visit

www.salariya.com for our online catalogue and free fun stuff.

Author: John Townsend worked as a secondary school teacher before becoming a full-time writer.

He specialises in illuminating and humorous information books for all ages.

Artist: David Antram studied at Eastbourne College of Art and then worked in advertising for 15 years before becoming a full-time artist.

He has illustrated many children’s non-fiction books.

Foouull TTrruullyy F

& & CChheeeessyy

TM

p p s e k e a a re h S Facts & Jo k e s

This Truly F oul & Cheesy book belong s to: ....................

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Written by

JJoohhnnTToowwnnsseenndd

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Illustrated by

David Antram

Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

i o t n c u d o r Int

book might not Warning – reading this out loud) but it make you LOL (laugh roan out loud), could make you GOL (g L (scream even feel sick out loud or SE ing this in a louder). If you are read sign… get ready library by a SILENCE to be thrown out!

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Disclaimer: The author really has n’t made anything up in this book (apart fro m some daft limericks and jokes). He checke d out the foul facts as best he could and even double-checked the fouler bits to make sure – so please don’t get too upset if you find out something different or me et a Shakespearean actor, someone cal led Bottom with an ass’s head, the Qu een of the Fairies or a crazy old man wit ha beard on the heath (or even on the chin).

If I had my way, I’d RATify the lot!’

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Official Warning

weird, This book contains all sorts of t William wacky and wow snippets abou Shakespeare. pieces that It has lots of random bits and others might some might find revolting and silly. find fascinating – or just plain

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Not all the facts are foul, as Shakespeare is often called the greatest writer ever – so ‘respect!’ Not all his plays and poems get a mention here – there are just too many to include in a little book. So, just like the great man himself, th is is a mixture of the good and the bard (yes, Shakespeare wa s known as the Bard of Avon).

the on b a d , ts gh ti r ou y on ll pu So, age face-paint, leap onto the st and enjoy the performance…

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Cheesy Limerick This book is packed full of the Bard, With facts – so be on your guard…

You might laugh and howl When the facts become foul, And the jokes leave you mentally scarred!

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Cheesy Riddles are Q: Why was William Shakespe always able to write great literature, however difficult? ill, A: Because where there’s a W there’s a way.

Reminder: Shakespeare wrote the play Hamlet (first perfor med in 1609) about the Prin ce of Denmark. The mos t famous line is spoken when Hamlet is deciding whether to live or die: ‘To be, or no t to be, that is the question… ’ So now the daft jokes.. .

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Q: What did Shakespear e say when cooking cheese on toast?

A: To brie or not to brie, that is the question.

eare say when p es ak h S id d at h W : Q g on a diet? he thought about goin y, that is the A: Tubby or not tubb question.

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Q: What did Shakespeare say when he was decidin g which penc il to use?

A: 2B or not 2B, that is th e question.

re say when a e p s e k a h S Q: What did new pet cat? a g in s o o h c s he wa tabby, that t o n r o y b b a A: T n. is the questio These jokes are CATastrophic!

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

Cheesy Jokes Too cheesy – even for me.

ock.

Knock, kn e?

Who’s ther Toby.

Toby who? t Toby, o n r o y b o T question. that is the

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ferris.

Ferris who?

Ferris foul and fo ul is fair.

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

is l u fo d n a l u fo is ir a Yes, 'F ch in it w a y b id a s is ' ir fa beth. In c a M s ’ e r a e p s e k a h S n’t e r a s g in h t , s d r o w r e oth em. e s y e h t t a h w s y a alw In fact, Shakespeare qu ite liked lines that were ‘foul and chee sy’. He coined the term ‘foul play’ in the play Love’s Labour’s Lost. In other plays, saying someone was like a chee se was an insult.

So brace yourself for m ore truly foul and cheesy Shakespeare jo kes and facts… illiam In the famous portrait of W ld on top Shakespeare, his head is ba oupee – so he’s probably asking, ‘T ion.’ est or not toupee, that is the qu

Don’t worry… the jokes might get slightly better (but not much).

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

FUN FACTS AND FOUL FAKERIES ABOUT WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE – which of these is totally false?

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Shakespeare was pr obably born on Apr il 23rd, 1564. However , as he was born under the old Julia n calendar, what w as April 23rd during Sh akespeare’s life would be May 3rd ac cording to today’s Gregorian calendar .

of StratfordHe was born in the town elling goat shed. upon-Avon in a foul-sm

Do you mind if I butt in here?

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Truly Foul & Cheesy

Shakespeare Facts & Jokes

You must be kidding

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He had seven b rothers and sisters and shared a bedroom with a goat.

lled Ophelia, He had a pet nanny goat ca a goatee which may be why he grew th his cat, he beard himself. Together wi fortune. set off to London to find his

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Shakespeare married his wi fe Anne Hathaway when he was 18 . They had three children – a son, Hamn et, who died in 1596, and two daughters , Susanna and Judith. They had no grand children or goats.

a Shakespeare The longest word in tudinitatibus play is honorificabili abour’s Lost. in the play Love’s L

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