THE
SEMINARY SURVIVAL GUIDE ADVICE FOR BALANCING LIFE + STUDIES
4
MARK FINNEY
B
EFORE MOVING TO CALIFORNIA I lived near Fairchild Airforce Base. A friend of mine worked there in the US Airforce Survival School. He taught people how to survive in physically and psychologically grueling conditions. Students learned how to escape from damaged aircraft, treat their own wounds, find food and build shelters in a variety of climates, evade hostile captors, and even how to mentally and emotionally survive being captured by the enemy. Their motto is: “Return with Honor.” MOST PEOPLE DO NOT THINK of seminary as a place that requires “survival.” Seminary is supposed to be a glorious experience of growth that transforms mere mortals into the ultimate in emotional and mental health (psychologists) holiness (pastors) and sacrificial service to God (missionaries). Surely seminaries glow with a special aura of God’s glory shining upon the campus and all who study and teach there… Or so the outsider or new student might think. THE REALITY IS THAT SEMINARY can be hard. My wife and I found this out firsthand when we drove up to our Fuller apartment building one afternoon during our first year in the MDiv program to see our neighbor sitting on the curb selling his furniture. Matt, a fellow MDiv student, and his wife were some of our first friends in Pasadena. They invited us to their church and we joined the small group they led. We asked why he was selling his bed and barbeque in the middle of the quarter. His reply hit us like a bombshell: “Lindsay left me. I’m moving back to
the East Coast with my parents.” Sadly, this is not the only tragic story we’ve seen during our time at Fuller.
THERE ARE A FEW UNIQUE CHALLENGES THAT COME WITH SEMINARY... 1. ISOLATION MOVING TO A NEW CITY WITH no existing relationships can be very isolating. Growth is also isolating. Developing new emotional and theological paradigms distances the student from family and friends who may not understand the student as they grow.
2. PRESSURE THE QUARTER SYSTEM IS GRUELING, and even more so if the student has to keep a high GPA for their financial aid and/or has a job in addition to their studies.
3. THE ENEMY YES, VIRGINIA, SATAN IS REAL and he really does steal, kill and destroy. As Screwtape would tell you, the best time to knock someone out from a lifetime of ministry is when they are young, idealistic, inexperienced, and insecure (I know no one reading this fits that description, but pray for your friends and classmates).
5
MY WIFE AND I HAVE SURVIVED two MDiv’s, an MFT, and three years of a PhD program (we do hope to actually move beyond student status someday, but that is another story). We started a family and we both have jobs.
THESE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED US BALANCE ALL OF THIS AND STILL KEEP OUR MARRIAGE GROWING RICHER EVERY YEAR... 1. PRIORITIZE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO EVERYTHING
required by school, work, marriage and kids with 100% effectiveness. Choose what is most important and be willing to let the lower things slide a bit. Becky and I decided early on that we were going to get an A in our marriage even if some quarters that meant getting a B+ in Hebrew. I use up all my vacation time from work in order to make sure I give my kids as much of my time and energy as possible during my breaks from school, and I refuse to check my work email when I’m off the clock.
2. COMMUNITY WE ALL NEED TO KNOW AND BE known by others. Be sure to build some relationships where you can be honest and vulnerable about your struggles, questions, and victories. Friends are usually made, not found. What worked best for Becky and me has been to pursue a couple or a group of friends that we can regularly share a meal with (weekly or bi-monthly).
6
3. PERSPECTIVE IT IS EASY TO GET LOST IN THE quarterly, weekly, daily grind of school, work, and family. Remember that this is just a short season of your life. Some students overcommit themselves in seminary thinking that they will live differently once they graduate. No you won’t. God cares as much about how you live now as how you live when you are the hipster pastor or swanky therapist that you imagine yourself to be 3 years from now.
4. TAKE CARE YOUR BODY
OF
EXERCISE, A DECENT DIET, AND enough sleep will make a world of difference in your academic performance and especially in your emotional wellbeing. One of our best decisions has been to keep our TV in the closet and only bring it out occasionally for stuff like the Olympics. Lounging an extra hour or two in front of the tube instead of sleeping is a major drain on energy for the next day or two. We also run or work out at least 2-3 times per week (even if we have to run with the kids in the stroller).
5. BE GRATEFUL LIVING IN THAILAND FOR A year between my MDiv and my PhD programs showed me that there are thousands of people who would give anything to spend 3 years studying scripture, cultures, and/or psychology but will never have this opportunity. It is an incredible gift and privilege to
be here. When times are hard remember that God has called you here and that these few years of sinking down deep roots will bear much fruit for God’s kingdom the rest of your life.
often leads to burnout, or you can do your best in those areas but look for your ultimate validation from God, your family, and your own health (both physical and psychological).
6. SABBATH
POSTSCRIPT
WE TAKE ONE DAY EVERY WEEK where neither of us works, studies, or does ministry. We sleep in, make waffles with our kids, chill, and maybe go to the beach or something. This has been the single most important practice for our seminary survival (and for surviving an extremely challenging year on the mission field).
IF YOU SURVIVE SEMINARY, IT WILL likely be these survival skills that sustain you in a life of ministry as much or more than the knowledge you acquire through your studies. May you “Return with Honor” to serve God wherever you are sent after Fuller.
7. STUDY SMARTER THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILLS I’ve developed are skimming books and writing efficiently. Google “How to Skim a Book Effectively” (then practice until you are a pro). I write best and most efficiently when I carefully outline my papers before I start writing. If writing is a challenge for you GO TO THE WRITING CENTER!
8. SURVIVAL IN THE END, THE KEY TO SURVIVING seminary is to glorify God every day, not by what you do but by who you are and how you live the life you have been given. Life is measured by the same criteria when you are in seminary as when you are in the working world—you can either be obsessed with your “grades” (i.e. what your professors, bosses, clients, elders, and/ or parishioners say about you), which
Mark Finney is currently earning his PhD in Homiletics. He also works as the Program Manager for the Lloyd John Ogilvie Institute of Preaching at Fuller. He lives with his wife, Becky, and their two children in Pasadena.
7