The Sheaf - March 28 2013

Your insider’s guide to Canadian festivals CULTURE 10 & 11

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U of S student beats cancer, brings Relay for Life to campus

University not surprised by provincial budget

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28 March, 2013 | The University of Saskatchewan student newspaper since 1912

U of S athletes ready to suit up for women’s national football team

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Don’t let April 1 sneak up on you

SPORTS 9

Forget those stereotypes: gaming is a sport

CULTURE 12

OPINIONS 17

NEWS

USSU vice-presidents resign one by one

ANNA-LILJA DAWSON Associate News Editor

All three University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union vice presidents have left office early, leaving just the president to cover all executive duties for the last two weeks of the term.

The USSU executive works as a team of four members — the president and the vice-presidents of operations and finance, academic affairs and student affairs — whose tenures run from May 1 to April 30.

USSU General Manager Caroline Cottrell said that occasionally one executive

member resigns before their term is complete to accept a new job.

But having three members resign in one term is almost unheard of.

Vice-President of Academic Affairs Ruvimbo Kanyemba resigned in February to accept a job as a youth justice worker in British Columbia.

Since the beginning of March, Kanyemba’s duties have been distributed between the other members of the executive and employees of the USSU.

USSU resigns

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ussu

Jared Brown (left), will be the only remaining executive member during the last two weeks of April.

2012

CULTURE

Zeus set to light up the stage

HENRYTYE GLAZEBROOK There’s a storm rolling through Amigos Cantina on April 4, and Zeus is behind it.

Based in Toronto, Zeus is part of the recent resurgence of the classic rock sound that dominated the airwaves in the 1970s. While the group’s songs may remind you of riffs, keys and vocal harmonies made famous by the likes of The Who, The Beatles and more recently Sloan, band member Mike O’Brien says Zeus never set out to mimic any particular style.

“It’s just the type of music that we’ve always been interested in and it’s what comes out when we play,” O’Brien said. “I think it’s largely just what we listened to as we grew up.”

Unlike many bands, Zeus takes a very loose approach to performance, which involves a Zeus puts their heart on display with Busting Visions

heavy amount of instrument—and role—switching.

“There’s three lead vocalists, three songwriters, three singers and we trade off on instruments,” O’Brien said. “We kind of switch around a lot.”

The group has been making waves recently in the wake of their sophomore record, Busting Visions.

While the album’s lead single, “Are You Gonna Waste My Time?” has been gaining popularity since its release in March of last year, O’Brien says the group keeps its focus on the music.

“It’s hard for us to gauge what other people are saying about the band. We just keep our heads down and keep doing what we do,” O’Brien said. “At the end of the day, you just want to make sure you’re having fun and enjoying making music.”

Zeus

derek branscombe

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We’re still looking for a Copy Editor for next year.

Newspaper style is distinct from academic writing. It has to be succinct, informative and engaging. The Copy Editor reads all the articles going into each issue of the paper to ensure proper spelling and grammar, but also gives advice on how best to structure and articulate a piece according to the Canadian Press Stylebook.

Submit your resume and cover letter together in a sealed envelope to: Hiring Committee, The Sheaf Publishing Society Room 108 Memorial Union Building 93 Campus Drive Saskatoon, SK S7N5B2

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Editor-in-Chief: Kevin Menz, editor@thesheaf.com Production Manager: Jared Beattie, layout@thesheaf.com Senior News Editor: Daryl Hofmann, news@thesheaf.com Associate News Editor: Anna-Lilja Dawson, associatenews@ thesheaf.com Photography Editor: Raisa Pezderic, photo@thesheaf.com Graphics Editor: Samantha Braun, graphics@thesheaf.com

Culture Editor: Jenna Mann, arts@thesheaf.com Sports Editor: Cole Guenter, sports@thesheaf.com Opinions Editor: Tannara Yelland, opinions@thesheaf.com Copy Editor: Tannara Yelland, copy@thesheaf.com Web Editor: Bryn Becker, web@thesheaf.com Ad & Business Manager: Shantelle Hrytsak, ads@thesheaf.com

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

A survivor’s story

Board of Directors: Danielle Siemens, Pete Yee, David Konkin, Ishmael N. Daro, Andrew Roebuck, Lewis Casey Index Photo: Adamjackson 1984/Flickr

Office Numbers: General 966-8688 Advertising 966-8688 Editorial 966-8689

Corporation Number #204724 GST Registration Number 104824891 Second Class Mailing Registration. #330336 The Sheaf is printed at Transcontinental Printing Ltd. 838 56th St. Saskatoon, SK Circulation this issue: 4,500

The Sheaf is a non-profit incorporated and student-body funded by way of a direct levy paid by all part- and full-time undergraduate students at the University of Saskatchewan (U of S). Membership in the Society is open to undergraduate students at the U of S, but all members of the U of S community are encouraged to contribute to the newpaper.

Opinions expressed in the Sheaf do not necessarily reflect those of the Sheaf Publishing Society Inc. The Sheaf reserves the right to refuse to accept or print any material deemed unfit for publication, as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. The Sheaf is published weekly during the academic year and monthly from May through August. The Editor-in-Chief has the right to veto any submission deemed unfit for the Society newspaper. In determining this, he/she will decide if the article or artwork would be of interest to a significant portion of the Society and benefit the welfare of Sheaf readers.

The Sheaf will not publish any racist, sexist, homophobic, or libelous material.

Corrections

• In last week’s article “It’s about time to preserve the past” we wrote that the Capitol Theatre, which was demolished in 1979, had been on 1st Ave. S and was replaced by a parking garage. It was on 2nd Ave. S and was replaced by the Scotia Centre. The Famous Players Capitol 4 Theatre was on 1st Ave. S and was replaced by a parking garage in 2008.

In last week’s issue we also wrongly credited the photo for our Acoustic Carbonless Community Concert article to Raisa Pezderic, when it was in fact taken by Shannon Dyck.

We apologize for these errors.

raisa pezderic/photo editor

Luke Boechler, who is a cancer survivor himself, was instrumental in organizing this year’s Relay for Life on campus which raised thousands of dollars for the charity.

Cancer survivor Luke Boechler brings Relay for Life to U of S campus DARYL HOFMANN Senior News Editor In January 2010, Luke Boechler was on his way to hockey practice in Yorkton with a teammate when his doctor called.

The results of a blood test taken earlier that day were already in and something wasn’t right. He had to get to Regina immediately for a second look.

“I really didn’t even know what he was talking about,” Boechler said. “I just assumed that it was a test and it would be fine. But it turned out to be a lot bigger than I thought.”

Later that night Boechler, who at that time was a promising 19-yearold goaltender for the Yorkton Terriers in the Saskatchewan Junior Hockey League, made the two-hour drive to Regina.

After meeting with doctors and having a bone marrow sample removed from his hip, Boechler was diagnosed with acute myeloid

leukemia.

“It was all a big blur,” he said.

“The leukemia was pretty bad at the start. I don’t think I could have gone much longer without being treated.”

Boechler began chemotherapy treatment and was hospitalized in Regina for three months, hooked up to a catheter through his chest.

He kept up with his hockey team over the radio as they fought through the playoffs and eventually to the league finals.

Following the treatment, Boechler and his parents temporarily moved to Calgary for a stem cell transplant, which increased his chance of surviving from 10 per cent to between 50 and 60 per cent.

He said although the treatments were incredibly hard on his body, the doctors were “bang on” with their prognosis.

Now, two and a half years since the leukemia receded, Boechler is at the University of Saskatchewan studying pharmacy and is particularly interested in cancer drugs.

This year he helped organize the

U of S Relay For Life fundraiser to support Canadians living with cancer. The relay was held in Place Riel from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. March 23 and 24. Twelve teams, mostly of students, collected donations and walked laps around a cordoned-off course for 12 straight hours, raising $14,758.

Alongside the relay, the event included live music, classic games like Twister and limbo, yoga classes and a sombre luminary ceremony to honor individuals who have had their lives changed by cancer.

This is the second consecutive year U of S students have held the fundraising relay in upper Place Riel. Organizers worry that if the event grows again next year they will need to find a new venue on campus.

“I think it’s a big deal if we can get the university on board to let us into the PAC or something like that,” Boechler said.

“We would like to get the university more involved. So then when people see that the University of Saskatchewan is officially promoting the event,

it will feel like a unified campus thing.”

Kristen Allen works for the Canadian Cancer Society and works with groups hosting events like the relay on campus and the CCS. “We had more participants than last year, we had more teams than last year, so we’re growing,” she said. “Our biggest thing is that we’re fearing that we might run out of space.”

Allen said university facility managers were hesitant to allow the event into the PAC overnight because “if they open it up for one non-profit they are going to have to open it up to another.”

But by increasing the size of the event, Allen says it opens the door to more cash donations.

“We’d love to be in the PAC,” she said. “It just hasn’t happened yet.”

“You know, it’s always a great thing when you’re outgrowing the space that you are in and you need to find something bigger.

University students are great at this and there really is a ton of potential for this event to grow.”

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| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

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2013 provincial budget continues postsecondary education funding trend ANNA-LILJA DAWSON Associate News Editor The University of Saskatchewan received an increase of two per cent to its base operating grant March 20 when the provincial government tabled its annual budget.

The increase matches last year’s grant hike and is almost precisely what the university expected, say university administrators.

The total 2013-14 provincial budget for the Ministry of Advanced Education is set at $787.7 million, up nine per cent from last year. This covers all of the province’s post-secondary institutions, including both the major universities and several Saskatchewan Institute of Applied Science and Technology campuses.

University Provost and VicePresident Academic Brett Fairbairn says administrators expect an annual uptick of two per cent to the operating grant for the foreseeable future.

The U of S was hit hard last year when the 2012-13 provincial budget revealed only a 2.1 per cent increase when the university had based its budget projects on receiving an additional five per cent.

The unexpectedly small grant increase caught the university off-guard: the previous year, the government had doled out an increase of five per cent.

Despite being the second year in a row that the U of S has received an increase of about two per cent for the provincial operating grant, Fairbairn said it will not affect the university’s budget in the same way last year’s grant increase did.

“We can tell that it’s close to what we projected so it’s not going to make a big difference one way or the other,” he said.

Fairbairn added that every bit of funding for the university is beneficial, especially considering the funding cuts that other

graphics: cody schumacher

institutions in Canada are facing.

“When you look across the country, this is pretty good. It’s a tight time for higher education but [there is] pretty good support in Saskatchewan.”

An email sent out to the U of S community on March 20 by university administration said

that the increase in total funding — operating, capital and targeted funding — is $35.8 million more than the previous year’s total funds.

Post-secondary capital projects across the province will receive $25.5 million during the 2013-14 fiscal year.

Targeted Funding

The health sciences facility at the U of S will receive an additional $4 million to continue construction during 2013-14.

That $4 million is part of the $16 million allocated for the health sciences’ operating and capital costs.

Research facilities across the

province will split a total $17.3 million. Targeted funding has been granted for the Sylvia Fedoruk Canadian Centre for Nuclear Innovation, the Canadian Light Source, VIDO-InterVac, the Global Institute for Food Security and other initiatives.

The provincial government will continue funding student aid, the Saskatchewan Advantage Scholarship, and the Graduate Retention Program.

Opposition critic Trent Wotherspoon said the Saskatchewan Party’s 2013-14 budget has failed students by not providing universities with the funding needed to cover operating costs.

“It is very troubling to see the treatment of education at prosperous times [when] we see cuts within programs where we see skyrocketing tuition,” Wotherspoon said.

Wotherspoon also criticized the budget for its lack of support for affordable housing and childcare, two pressing issues for students.

A financial town hall will be held June 13 in Convocation Hall where the provincial operating grant, capital funding and targeted funding will be reviewed.

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NEWS

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

Student receives province’s first Campus crime National Student Fellowship report

NICHOLAS KINDRACHUK Victoria Cowan’s love of volunteering and community involvement has led her to be the first University of Saskatchewan student to receive a 3M National Student Fellowship.

The fellowship was launched in 2012 to honour undergraduate students in Canadian universities who excel as leaders both in and out of the classroom.

The award grants Cowan $5,000 along with a trip to Sydney, N.S. for a conference run by the organization that, along with 3M, is responsible for the fellowship: the Society for Teaching and Learning in Higher Education.

Recipients of the fellowship are also invited to a program retreat separate from the conference.

Each component is meant to give the recipients further opportunities in both learning and educating across Canada.

Cowan has lived in Saskatoon for most of her life and first started volunteering while she was in high school. Of her volunteer activities, Cowan says she prefers to call them “volunteerism, or maybe you could even call it activism, although I didn’t know it at that age.” Her high school commitments included being part of an environmental club and cofounding a book club.

However, this was just the beginning of Cowan’s involvement. The number of groups and communities she has been involved in is staggering.

She first started volunteering at the U of S with learning communities, helping students make the transition from high school to university.

From there she began working with the community service learning program on alternative reading week.

ARW is a community-based program intended to teach through experience using three components: “knowledge, action, and reflection.”

USSU resigns

Incidents at the University of Saskatchewan involving Campus Safety from March 18 - 24

Through her devoted volunteering, Victoria Cowan received Saskatchewan’s first National Student Fellowship.

I had to reflect not only my own leadership... but the leadership of those who inspired me who could have easily been in this position as Victoria Cowan well.

UofS student

The Otesha Project, a Canadian charity that encourages sustainable living, has made a big impact on Cowan’s life. In 2012 she committed herself to a strictly vegan diet and worked to reduce her human footprint by using only a bike for transportation — no vehicles allowed —as she traveled along the East coast. She said

supplied

the experience was life-changing and something she wrote about in her application for the national fellowship.

Cowan is currently working with Inspired Minds, a creative writing program for inmates at the Saskatoon Provincial Correctional Centre. It is another experience she describes as “life-changing.”

The list of Cowan’s accolades goes on from there. Just before she learned she had been awarded the national fellowship, she received the Vera Pezer volunteering award from the U of S Students’ Union.

Cowan credits the help of others for her success, saying there is “never a sole author in success,” and adding that a huge group of people supported her endeavour.

Wenona Partridge, who worked with Cowan on the Fellowship, noted the support as “being consistent with her leadership.”

Cowan said the application experience for the fellowship “was the most grueling yet gratifying thing that I have ever done.”

The application she had to write “needed to be a unified narrative,

[and] a personal narrative of [her] vision of leadership.” She also needed letters of support.

“It feels incredibly humbling,” Cowan said about being the first student in Saskatchewan to receive the award.

“Throughout this process I had to reflect not only my own leadership... but the leadership of those who inspired me who could have easily been in this position as well.”

When asked for inspiring words for other students looking to apply for the fellowship next year, Cowan encouraged students to put themselves out there.

“I think really write from the centre of who you are. When doing anything, always write from your heart because in that sense it will always be authentic. Regardless of the outcome, it is always going to be something that you are proud of.”

The 2013-14 USSU budget has been presented to council members for them to vote on at the March 28 meeting.

“Altogether, his main duty is to get that [USSU] budget in, passed, understood with the organization and understood with the council,” Brown said. “I’m sure he’ll be able to do that.”

Vice-President of Student Affairs Alex Werenka accepted a position as an academic advisor in the College of Arts and Science.

She has not resigned, but will use her vacation time to take the final two weeks of the term off to begin her new job.

Brown has been taking on some of the duties of the resigning members and says he hopes whoever is elected to next year’s executive will be able to step in early to learn the ropes.

The transition between outgoing

and incoming executive members will not be as smooth this year as it has been in years past. The outgoing executive members have prepared transition binders specific to each position to help train the incoming executive. Brown said that at some point within the next month, Kanyemba, Werenka, Heidel and himself will all be on campus together to assist with the transition between executives.

“There’s going to be a point where all four of us will be back again and we’ll be able to take these guys and show them what this is all about,” Brown said, though he said that the outgoing vice-presidents will not be present during the entire transition process.

1 Kanyemba’s position for the remainder of the term.

Vice-President of Operations and Finance Steven Heidel was the second executive member to call it quits early. His shortened term is now set to end April 4 rather than April 30.

Heidel was awarded a scholarship to attend a summer entrepreneurship program at the University of Toronto which begins May 4. He will be unable to fulfill his duties for the month of April because of some classes he needs to take before leaving for Toronto.

Cottrell said the program is an important opportunity for Heidel and that his resignation was also approved by the union.

Brown said Heidel’s resignation will not cause much of a problem as Heidel is leaving less than a month before the end of his term.

• 3 Tinted front-side windows • 1 Trespassing •2 Unregistered vehicle • 1 Display unauthorized licence plate • 1 Disobey stop sign • 1 Cellphone use while driving • 1 Unaccompanied learner driver • 1 Intoxicated in a public place • 1 Driving with a suspended licence Other reports: • Campus Safety answered two medical calls.

• A mischief incident was reported in an art studio sometime around March 22 to 23 when obscenities were written on some canvas.

• Graffiti was reported on stop signs at Place Riel Service Road and Campus Drive, and the Place Riel Service Road at Voyageur Court.

continued from

Kanyemba’s resignation was heavily discussed and approved by the union administration. Cottrell said that when an executive member receives a job in their field of study — especially when they have already completed their degree as Kanyemba has — the union will be supportive of the member resigning.

Cottrell said Kanyemba tried to bargain with her new employer to postpone the beginning of her contract but was unsuccessful.

One of the vice-president academic’s most important tasks is dealing with academic grievances.

President Jared Brown said that a full-time USSU employee who has been working closely with Kanyemba all year will assist students dealing with academic grievances. Members of the USSU Academic Affairs Committee are covering other aspects of

Officers issued:

• Graffiti was reported on a utility box located on the east side of Lot F, near Innovation Boulevard.

• Graffiti was reported on a utility box located on the north entrance to Lot P from Innovation Boulevard.

• Officers attended to a cookingrelated fire in Spruce Hall Residence on March 24 around 7 p.m. There were no injuries and damage was minor.

• A 53-year-old man was arrested in the upper level of Place Riel for being intoxicated in a public place.

He was turned over to Saskatoon Police.

NEWS

| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

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Students in need of social justice, look to PIRGs ANNA-LILJA DAWSON Associate News Editor Two years ago a proposed social justice centre that would have cost the University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union $30,000 per year was struck down by University Students’ Council.

Now a group of students have joined together to gauge the prospect of starting a public interest research group, or PIRG. PIRGs, similar to social justice centres, are resource hubs that help students research and work toward positive change on social, environmental and economic issues. Unlike social justice centres, PIRGs are independently funded and run by students, separate from the student union or university.

Grace Schenher, a member of Students for Public Interest Research, first heard about PIRGs from a friend who was involved in one at the University of Regina.

“The great thing about them is that they operate under that really broad umbrella of social, environmental and economic justice but they are unique to the campus” they operate on, Schenher said. “Whatever students here are interested in, that’s what they would do.”

The Regina PIRG, which has been supporting SPIR at the U of S, held an “Edible Campus” campaign last year in which it set

regina public interest research group

The Regina PIRG has been supportive of the U of S students who are working to getting their own PIRG here on campus.

up three community gardens on campus.

Meanwhile, PIRGs in Vancouver have done studies on the harassment and unfair ticketing of people who live on the street.

Schenher said that there are many students at the U of S who are involved in the kinds of groups and activities that a PIRG encompasses, but there isn’t a

location on campus for these students to meet regularly.

“When I first started coming to this university, I thought that there wasn’t a lot of students on this campus who were engaged,” Schenher said, “But I was completely wrong. There are.

There just isn’t a place for them to go to connect with other people.”

Native studies professor Priscilla

Settee says students would benefit from a PIRG because of the critical thinking and leadership it will bring to campus.

“The fact that it is being initiated and led by young people, by students, is very exciting because young people are the ones that really are best informed on what needs to be changed.”

Neil Balan, a management and

marketing lecturer at the U of S, wrote that he supports the idea of a PIRG on campus because PIRGs recognize research and academic work as acts of freedom for students.

A PIRG “is valuable because it is student-constituted and studentdriven, which is a socially just and political practice in and for itself,” Balan wrote.

SPIR promoted PIRGs at the Carnival of Solidarity March 15 and at a panel discussion the group hosted March 19 about social justice on campus.

In 2011, former USSU president Chris Stoicheff proposed a new centre for students — a social justice centre. The centre did not receive the two-thirds majority support it needed from USC to be built.

Since then, the possibility of the USSU establishing a social justice centre has not been a priority at USC. Schenher hopes there will be enough interest in a PIRG by next spring when she plans to circulate a petition calling for a referendum.

Students will vote on whether or not they want a PIRG at the referendum.

“There’s a point where you need to stop raising awareness and start transforming that into tangible things and creating things more concrete,” Schener said. “That’s what a PIRG does.”

The benefits of digging for gold Jeanne Martinson

upcoming events

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Signing Generation Y and the New Work Ethic Sunday, April 7, 1pM

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saskatchewan Book awards

shortlisted authors

harriet richards, sandy Bonny & donald ward Reading & Signing their nominated works Tuesday, April 9, 7pM

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FLOCK & GATHER

CRAFT COLLECTIVE PRESENTS

Long over the social faux-pas, Scott Napper teaches his students the health benefits of picking their nose.

JOSHUA PICKERING Have you ever seen someone pick their nose and eat it? Gross, right?

Maybe not. Digging for gold and treating yourself to the nose treasures may not be so bad after all.

According to Scott Napper, a professor of biochemistry at the University of Saskatchewan, there may be some legitimate health benefits to eating boogers.

In his biomedical sciences course, Napper explains that consuming nasal mucous, commonly known as boogers,

may benefit the immune system.

“There is a theory that by consuming [boogers or snot] you may expose your immune system to microbes captured in the mucous,” Napper said.

“This opportunity for the immune system to encounter environmental microbes could enable better immune responses against potential pathogens.”

Mucophagy — consuming mucous — enables our immune responses to become accustomed to germs. For children with a developing immune system, this can be a great opportunity to strengthen the immune system against

common pathogens.

Napper says there may also be a biological incentive to do it, since our mucous contains a lot of sugar, and therefore has a sweet taste.

“Don’t you pretend you don’t know,” he said, alluding to the fact that basically everyone — at some point — has tasted their own boogers.

That sweetness may be a retained evolutionary trait.

When we suspend our cultural norms about nose etiquette, perhaps children are making the correct and possibly instinctual response.

Napper’s in-class comments

raisa pezderic/photo editor

were more tongue-in-cheek than finger-in-nose.

“I like to encourage my students to think about science from unconventional perspectives, to learn how to ask a scientific question then to seek out the answer.”

Although there may be health benefits to mucophagy, Napper warns that one should not be overly aggressive when digging for “nose nuggets.”

“If you start to smell burnt toast, or get in to the second knuckle, you’ve probably gone too far.”

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(CORNER OF BROADWAY + 8TH)

APRIL 19TH & 20TH Friday 6PM -9 PM

Saturday 10AM -5 PM

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NEWS

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

2013 Conservative budget focuses on jobs, but not helping students $795-million measures introduced to ‘connect Canadians with available jobs’ JANE LYTVYNENKO CUP Ottawa Bureau Chief OTTAWA (CUP) — Wearing brand new budget shoes, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty announced Economic Action Plan 2013 on March 21.

Titled “Jobs, Growth, and Economic Prosperity,” the budget introduces market-oriented skills training, job creation measures and aims to balance the books by 2015.

However, the opposition is not optimistic the Tories can keep their budgetary promises.

“These predictions are wrong,” said NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair.

“That’s what we’ve constantly seen.”

Bob Rae, interim leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, also disliked the budget, calling it “the same old propaganda.”

“It has very unlikely targets as to where the revenue picture is going to go over the next couple of years,” Rae said. “It’s a rhetorical document. It’s an excursive of political relic.”

One of the main features of the budget is the Canada Jobs Grant. The program will provide job seekers with $5,000 for skills training, which the federal government hopes will be matched by an additional $10,000 from provincial governments and employers.

The grant will create opportunities for apprentices and provide support to help underrepresented groups, such as youth and aboriginals, find employment.

However, Rae said the

government could do more for unemployed Canadians.

“There’s no new money,” he said. “It’s money that’s going to be delayed for several years.

It’s money that now requires an equal amount from provinces and employers. It’s actually a whole lot less when you consider the size and extent of employment.”

With the grant, businesses that can provide skills training — such as community and career colleges — will be eligible to receive up to $5,000 for each person they train.

The businesses’ and provinces’ contributions will have to match the federal government. The program will be finalized after renewal negotiations of the Labour Market Development Agreements in 2014-15 with the provinces and territories.

Flaherty said he can’t guarantee all provinces will sign off on the grant, but remains optimistic about the plan.

The Conservatives “listen to businesses and persons who are unemployed,” Flaherty said. “We have a problem and we have to fix it. I think the provincial governments will listen to... employers.”

Adam Awad, chairperson of the Canadian Federation of Students, said that while the grant is a step in the right direction it’s not enough for students. He was disappointed with the budget and felt the government could do more to address student issues.

“It’s definitely disappointing.

It doesn’t do much for students at all,” Awad said. “It doesn’t address the main issues of debt and access to education.

“Canadian businesses are... failing to provide this training regardless. It’s not the government’s responsibility to pay businesses to do their own job. It

jane lytvynenko/canadian university press

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty presents the federal budget that was heavy on job creation but did little to help out Canada’s students.

would have been much better to provide that funding directly into the education system.”

In addition to the Canada Jobs Grant, the government announced promotion of education in science, technology, engineering, mathematics and skilled trades, all of which are considered highdemand.

As a part of the grant, $19 million will be reallocated over two years to informing youth about those fields of study and the career opportunities stemming from them.

The budget does detail where the funding will be reallocated from.

A total of $70 million over three years will be invested in 5,000 paid internships for recent postsecondary graduates. They will be added on to the 3,000 internships already created by Economic Action Plan 2012.

The Canadian Youth Business Foundation will receive $18 million over two years if the foundation can raise $15 million to match federal funding. The non-profit organization helps young entrepreneurs develop their business by providing mentorship, advice and other resources. The government hopes this will help the foundation become selfsustainable.

Awad said the funds to help youth find employment are not “addressing the main concern.”

The government has also allocated money for research that will involve undergraduate students. Research funding will see $37 million per year to support partnerships with industry through the granting councils, including an additional $12 million annually for the College and Community

Innovation Program. The CCIP supports collaboration between colleges and industry on research projects.

The granting councils will expand eligibility for their undergraduate and industrial internships and scholarships to students who are enrolled in college bachelor programs.

Awad added the primary issue is student debt, as students are “unable to take risks” once they graduate because of the money they owe.

“While the money for the apprenticeship programs and grants are better than nothing, it’s nowhere near what needs to happen,” Awad said.

With files from Christopher Radojewski

Continuing Scholarships Apply online by June 1 students.usask.ca/awards

SPORTS

| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

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Thomaidis named Team Canada coach

raisa pezderic/photo editor

After 11 seasons as an assistant coach with Canada’s senior women’s basketball team, Lisa Thomaidis was promoted to head coach on March 20.

KIMBERLEY HARTWIG Huskies women’s basketball coach Lisa Thomaidis has been named the new head coach of Canada’s senior women’s team.

Thomaidis has been the national team’s assistant coach for the past 11 seasons, and was given the reigns on March 20.

“It’s a tremendous honour. To be

able to coach at the pinnacle of our sport is hugely exciting for me,” Thomaidis said about her new position.

Thomaidis believes her past experience as assistant coach will help her transition into her new role.

“Having the relationships already established with players and staff, with Canada Basketball

[and] having an understanding of how our international competitions operate, all that background will really help with taking over the job and the transition that’s inevitably going to take place,” Thomaidis said.

Thomaidis will take over from former head coach Allison McNeill, who led the national team for 11 seasons before

stepping down on Dec. 17, 2012.

Her departure prompted Canada Basketball to begin looking for a suitable replacement. The organization accepted applications for three months, and drew interest from coaches across the globe.

Choosing a new coach was an important decision; basketball is a high-priority sport for Canada and has been targeted by Own the Podium, an initiative intended to help Canada increase its medal counts at international competitions.

In the end, Thomaidis was honoured to be chosen from the worldwide pool of talented candidates that was considered.

“For me to know that I was the best person for the job sends a lot of confidence my way and will certainly bode well for taking over the program,” she said.

Thomaidis is looking forward to putting her stamp on the team as the new bench boss. Specifically, she hopes to add more offensive power.

“We’ve always been a worldclass defensive team,” she said.

“For us now, the challenge is to generate a little more offence and if we can combine those two things we’ll be able to continue on this path of success that we’ve started and hopefully take the team to a new level.”

Despite the large commitment

that Thomaidis will take on with her new post, she intends to return as the Huskies women’s coach after the one-year professional leave she took this past season.

It’s a tremendous honour. To be able to coach at the pinnacle of our sport is hugely exciting for me, Lisa Thomaidsi

Team Canada Head Coach

The schedules for the two teams are complementary. The national team plays most of its games between May and September while the Huskies primarily play from September to March.

Having juggled the two teams as an assistant coach for so many years, Thomaidis has become used to the routine and she believes coaching the national squad will only have positive effects on her role with the Dogs.

This year’s interim head coach, Jill Humbert, will continue leading the Huskies until Aug. 1.

Humbert’s future with the team is uncertain at this time, but one thing is clear: next year’s Huskies have a world-class coach in their corner in Lisa Thomaidis.

High-intensity strength training helps in stroke recovery TIA LOW The Martlet (University of Victoria) VICTORIA (CUP) — Stroke patients affected by decreased strength on one side of their body can do high-intensity strength training on their unaffected side to improve their mobility, according to new findings by University of Victoria researchers.

Discovered in the 1800s, the cross-education effect is the idea that strength-training a muscle group on one side of the body can strengthen the same muscle group on the other side. In a person without any neurological damage, the untrained side typically gains half the strength that the trained side gains.

At first, Paul Zehr, the director at the U of V Centre for Biomedical Research, didn’t believe the cross-education effect had any significant implications for strength training.

“If you asked, ‘Hey, do you have any ideas about how to get stronger? I want to get my arm stronger,’ and I said, ‘Okay, do all these elbow flexions, but just do it with one arm and your other arm will get half as strong’... you would wonder why you don’t just train both arms so you get 100 per cent strength gains on both sides, and I would agree that’s a better idea,” Zehr said.

But what if one side of your body is significantly weaker than the other side? This is the question that led Zehr to study the crosseducation effect in his stroke rehabilitation research lab.

Zehr’s research objective was

to find ways to help people walk better after a stroke — the loss of brain function due to interrupted blood flow or the rupture of blood vessels in the brain.

Zehr and fellow researcher Katie Dragert, a U of V PhD student, recruited 24 stroke survivors to complete six weeks of training on their unaffected lower legs.

Training involved “basically a piece of wood with a right angle on it and some straps that you can just put on the floor under your chair,” Zehr said. The participants would then “pull your toes up [using your] ankle… like you’ve got your foot in a ski boot.”

Results revealed equal improvement in the strength of both legs. At the end of the training period both participants’ legs were about 30 per cent stronger.

The results were “very strange but really exciting,” Zehr said. He expected the cross-education effect to be less prevalent in people who had suffered strokes than it was in people who had no neurological damage. He didn’t expect it to be more prevalent.

“Our wildest expectation was that it would be a smaller version of the effect we see in people who don’t have damage [to the nervous system], in terms of per cent changes. In fact, it was almost equivalent,” he said. “Not only did the cross-education effect work after a stroke; it works better.”

Zehr says cross-education is a result of small changes happening in many places throughout the body, including the spinal cord, reflex pathways that support the ability to contract muscles and parts of the brain that plan

movement.

The sharing of information between the two halves of the brain also plays an important role.

Many people believe the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, and vice versa. But this is not completely true, Zehr said, who uses the example of flicking fingers on your right hand to illustrate.

“At the same time when the left side of your brain is active to move the right fingers, it is sending a message within your brain from the left side to the right side of your brain — which would control

your left fingers — saying, ‘By the way, this is what [the right side of the body is] doing.’ ” He said that information sharing between the right and left sides of the brain might be behind crosseducation.

How or why this small change is amplified in stroke patients is unknown, but Zehr suggests two possibilities. First, people who have suffered a stroke end up in a weakened state that might allow their bodies to show more change when training. Second, a stroke could reveal connections between all limbs and the sides of the body

that are partially hidden when the body is in a healthy state.

“It’s only when you’re in that damaged state that the phenomenon is really useful for recovery,” Zehr said.

Next, Zehr hopes to find out if this phenomenon works in the upper limbs as well. He predicts that, in the future, cross-education strength training will be one part of a bigger rehabilitation program for stroke patients in his lab.

stephanie mah

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SPORTS

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

Dog Watch: Cody Hobbs STEPHANIE ARDELL Cody Hobbs feels at home on the ice.

The Huskies defenceman just completed his fourth year with the Dogs men’s hockey team.

Growing up in Prince Albert, Hobbs played midget AAA with the hometown Mintos and was instrumental in helping the squad bring home the Telus Cup in 2005 and 2006.

After midget hockey, Hobbs was picked up by the Western Hockey League’s Chilliwack Bruins. He played with the Bruins for two seasons before he was traded to Prince George to compete with the Cougars.

Hobbs has been lacing up his skates since he was a mere two years old, and attributes much of his success to his role model.

“My father was a huge influence on me,” Hobbs said. “He got me into it. He’s the one who taught me and coached me growing up.

In the last four years, the 23-year-old has logged some major minutes holding up the Huskies’ defensive end.

Reflecting on his most recent season with the Dogs, a campaign that drew to a close on March 15, Hobbs said he has few regrets.

Aside from a few select games where he feels the team did not live up to its potential, Hobbs believes the team played good

hockey throughout the season, despite losing out of the University Cup. “I thought we played good as a team,” Hobbs said. “They were all close games and we had our chances to win, but just couldn’t score. It was frustrating but overall we played with a lot of heart.”

The Huskies will host the national championship again next year. With next season being his final year of Huskie eligibility, Hobbs is already thinking about getting another shot at the title.

“I’d like to win it. I’d like to get that ring on my finger,” he said.

Even though the Huskies failed to capture either a conference or national title this year, Hobbs is happy to be healthy at season’s end — something he hasn’t experienced in recent years.

“It’s tough to bounce back after [being injured for] five to 10 games,” Hobbs said. “It was nice to go a season without one” injury.

Last season Hobbs tore his MCL in a nasty knee injury, forcing him to watch half of the season from the bench.

Hobbs is currently in his second year at the University of Saskatchewan and studying environmental earth science. He’s hoping to get a chance to work in the field this summer.

“As long as it’s outside and in the wilderness, I’ll enjoy it,” Hobbs said.

raisa pezderic/photo editor

The same is true for Hobbs’ summer leisure time. He never misses an opportunity to visit one of the handful of lakes surrounding his home town. Relaxing with friends along the beaches of Emma, Candle or Waskesiu lakes

is how he enjoys spending his warm-weathered weekends.

He is also fond of fishing, and takes to the boat with a rod and reel when he and his father go on their annual fishing trip to Kingsmere Lake.

Hobbs said the trip can be a bit of work at times.

“We have to portage the boat in.

That’s kind of fun,” Hobbs said.

“Well, it depends how many guys you have to help carry it,” he added laughing.

Take the plunge with underwater hockey CHARLIE TILSTRA The Ubyssey (University of British Columbia) VANCOUVER (CUP) — Hockey has a rabid following in Canada. For anyone who needed convincing, fans across the country spent the NHL lockout pining for the return of bloody fights and top-corner goals. But while that was all going on, there was another type of hockey being played right under the surface — namely, under the water’s surface.

Underwater hockey isn’t quite the same as ice hockey. It’s played at the bottom of a pool, not the top of a frozen pond. And the players are athletic men and women who opt for skin-tight bathing suits to glide through the water rather than loose jerseys and skate blades to glide across the ice.

Underwater hockey is a relatively new sport. It was created in 1954 in the United Kingdom by Alan Blake. His idea, a game called “Octopush,” began to spread. The name eventually changed to underwater hockey, and in 1962 it was brought to Vancouver.

Now, universities across Canada have formed underwater hockey clubs, and there are world championships held once every two years.

What? They don’t look like hockey players to you?

The rules of the sport are simple. “Hold your breath, get to the bottom and hit the puck,” said Jordan Fryers, a University of British Columbia student who is training for Team Canada.

Underwater hockey teams are usually co-ed. Players are equipped with a snorkel, mask, fins, a curved stick a little bigger than a ruler, a swim cap or helmet and gloves to protect their

hands. Using their sticks, players must maneuver a puck into the opponent’s goal, but unlike ice hockey, there’s the added complication of not being able to breathe while playing. Plus, since it is a non-contact sport, any holding, obstructing, de-masking, de-finning or injuring other players results in a foul.

The best underwater hockey players are strong swimmers

josh curran/ubyssey

who can hold their breath for long periods of time, but the game is ultimately a team sport that requires cooperation. In order to score a goal, teams must strategize on when and which players visit the surface to catch their breath.

Six players from each team are in play at once, and up to four other players substitute in on the fly when players come up for air.

The games are usually composed of two 15-minute periods, and the goal posts are usually 50 metres apart. The depth of the pool can vary.

Watching from the surface is something like watching a group of dolphins surfacing for air; players dive into the depths of the pool, resurfacing only when they run out of breath and diving back down when they’ve caught it.

None of the real action can be seen from above the water, giving sideline spectators trying to follow the play a hard time. This is why in some cases, particularly the world championships, multiple underwater cameras capture the action and stream it live on the Internet.

UBC’s Fryers has competed in the past as part of Team Canada, and says the sport has given him the opportunity to travel around the world to places like South Africa, England and Australia competing and meeting people.

He’ll get another shot at the end of August when he will travel to Eger, Hungary with Team Canada to compete against Argentina, Australia, Germany, Portugal, Serbia, South Africa and the U.S. in the 2013 World Championships.

SPORTS

| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

U of S bolsters national roster COLE GUENTER Sports Editor

A group of current and former University of Saskatchewan women are proving their gridiron grit.

The athletes’ football supremacy was most recently reinforced March 15 when the Canadian women’s national football team announced their roster for the 2013 International Federation of American Football Women’s World Championship. This is the second World Championship for women’s football and it will be held June 28 to July 7 in Vantaa, Finland.

Eleven current and former University of Saskatchewan students were named to the squad that includes a 45-person starting lineup and a 10-person reserve roster. Each woman also plays for Saskatoon’s only female tackle football team, the Saskatoon Valkyries. The Valkyries will also be sending four of their 10 coaches to help draw up the game plan for the national team.

The selection process for the players started last August, with the Challenge Cup. The Cup matched four provincial teams and one regional squad against one another.

Scouts hand-picked the top 75 players from the tournament and invited them to one of two final selection camps held in Moose Jaw and Fredericton.

Marci Kiselyk, a former Huskies basketball player and current Valkyries receiver, attended the Moose Jaw selection camp on March 2.

“It was pretty cool,” Kiselyk said. “We did a [physical testing] combine like you would see in the NFL or CFL. Then in the afternoon we did two hours of on-field stuff.

They did some individuals, a little bit of scrimmage [and] some oneon-ones.”

The players were not told if they made the team at the selection camps. Instead, those chosen were contacted just before the final roster was revealed by Football Canada.

Kiselyk says she was eagerly waiting for the phone to ring.

“I felt cautiously optimistic,” she said. “I think I had a pretty good camp and I had hoped that I had done enough to show the coaches that I deserved to be there.”

When she got the call that confirmed her hopes, Kiselyk was ecstatic.

“I was very excited. I’ve played a lot of basketball, but I’ve never had the chance to represent Canada.”

Former Huskies women’s hockey player Julie Paetsch also played for Canada at the inaugural 2010 World Championship in Sweden. She is currently recovering from a knee injury and was placed on the team’s reserve roster list for this year.

With any luck she will be ready to play by June 22, when the team will assemble for a pre-tournament training camp before flying to Finland to vie for a shot at the World Championship against teams from Germany, Sweden, Finland, Spain, and the U.S. The Valkyries’ offensive line also had a good showing at the Moose Jaw selection camp. Among the

Jessie Buydens (top left) waves the Canadian flag after her team placed second at the first women’s football World Championship in 2010.

three individuals selected to play for Team Canada is Jessie Buydens, who also represented her home country with Paetsch in Sweden in 2010.

A U of S graduate and current sessional lecturer, Buydens was playing for the Saskatoon Wild Oats women’s rugby club when she was first introduced to football.

Buydens was asked to attend the selection camp for Team Canada three years ago based on her rugby experience, and she made the team.

Seriously, lay off the tanning bed.

It’s not worth the risk.

Every visit to a tanning bed increases your risk of developing skin cancer.

“My first actual football game was at Worlds in Sweden. It was crazy, but it was fun.”

Canada finished second in 2010, losing 66-0 to the U.S. in the championship final.

“The United States has a really strong women’s football program.

Their team was miles ahead of every other team there last time,” Buydens said.

Canadian women’s football programs have since sprouted up across Canada, providing incoming

Wednesday, April 3, 2013 at 2:30 – 4 PM

Place Riel North Concourse University of Saskatchewan Campus Musical performance by Ellen Kolenick Refreshments will be served after the program

give.usask.ca www.SunSmartSK.ca

supplied

players with time to study the sport. Buydens hopes the added experience will give her squad a chance to avenge the loss.

“I’d like to beat the States,” she said. “We’ve got more teams, more players to select from… more experience from the girls that are going. Looking at the roster I think we’ve got a stronger team than we did last time. Hopefully that shows on the field.”

How to achieve your dreams Professor Emeritus Dr. Karim Nasser, philanthropist and developer for Saskatoon’s notable River Landing project, launches his second book, written especially for students.

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FEATURE

Cruisin’ Canada’s festival circuit

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

MICHAEL MACLEOD

Field Trip

(Toronto, June 8) If you plan to be in Toronto for NXNE, you might want to head there a little early to check out Field Trip, hosted by record label Arts & Crafts. The best artists the label has to offer, including a one-time-only reunited Broken Social Scene, will perform for a day on an outdoor stage. This show alone might be worth the trip out east.

Spring has arrived, even if it doesn’t feel like it; classes are almost over and everyone is itching to get their summer going.

On many people’s summer lists will be at least one music festival.

With so many good NXNE Canadian festivals, (Toronto, June 10-16) choosing which one to go to Canada’s answer to the excellent South

by Southwest festival in Texas, Toronto’s can be daunting.

North by Northeast not only showcases

Don’t worry. We’ve over 950 music artists but also features film and comedy. This year Hot Panda and The got you covered with a National are among the slated bands and the list of the major music full lineup hasn’t even been announced yet.

NXNE is definitely worth checking out if you festivals around the want a festival farther afield. province and country this summer, as well as a few tips on how to survive and thrive.

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| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

Sled Island Festival

(Calgary, June 19-22) The full lineup for Sled Island hasn’t yet been released, but with the likes of Metz, Divine Fits and Joel Plaskett Emergency already slated, this festival is shaping up to be great. Located in downtown Calgary, Sled Island offers an incredibly diverse experience that keeps attendees entertained.

Craven Country Jamboree

(Craven, Sask. July 11-14) No introduction is necessary. If you live in Saskatchewan you’ve either seen it for yourself or you know someone who has gone. Craven offers a great lineup of the best country artists in an ideal rural setting and always turns into one of the biggest parties around. Headliners this year include Tim McGraw and The Dixie Chicks.

Ness Creek Music Festival

Osheaga Festival

Saskatchewan Jazz Festival

Connect Music Festival

(Big River, Sask., July 18-21) Located roughly three hours north of Saskatoon, near Big River, Sask., the Ness Creek Music Festival grounds provide a pristine boreal forest environment in which to enjoy great music — ranging from folk to rock to hip hop — and art on display every year.

This year’s lineup has not yet been released, but it never disappoints.

(Saskatoon, June 21-July 1) Closest to home, the Jazz Festival takes place in multiple venues around Saskatoon.

The majority of acts will play on either the main stage at the Delta Bessborough hotel gardens or at the Broadway Theatre, but smaller venues throughout the city also host performers. Don’t let the name fool you: the festival has a wide array of genres on display, from the titular jazz to blues, pop and alternative. With huge acts like Colin James, Metric, City and Colour and Nikki Yanofsky, it is definitely worth checking out.

(Montreal, Aug. 2-4) Another great festival out east. Located in the centre of Montreal, Osheaga has something for everyone: a great city, great bands and great people. This year features a stacked lineup including The Cure, Death Grips, Vampire Weekend, Flogging Molly and Mumford and Sons.

(Regina, Aug. 3-5) If rock and country aren’t your thing, or if you just want to experience something different, Connect might be for you. Located at Besant Campground an hour west of Regina, this outdoor electronics festival features local and travelling talents in electronica, bass, trance and dubstep. Connect turns the campground into one of the biggest party centres in the province. It’s hard to describe the experience of over 500 people descending on outdoor stages and partying for three days straight.

Shambhala Music Festival

(Nelson, B.C. Aug. 7-13) While on the subject of electronic outdoor music festivals, it would be a crime not to mention Shambhala. The pinnacle of Canadian electronic festivals, Shambhala sets up camp in the scenic mountains of Nelson, B.C. With multiple stages, a plethora of light shows and art displays, Shambhala offers a one-of-a-kind experience and usually draws roughly 10,000 people to the event grounds.

Regina Folk Fest

(Regina, Aug. 9-11) A mainstay for music lovers both in the province and out. Taking over Victoria Park, Regina Folk Fest offers a large variety of acts and musicians showcasing some of the best talent from Canada and the world.

10 tips to make your festival experience the best it can possibly be:

1

Pack smart: Most of these festivals take place over a weekend or longer. Remember that you’re spending most of your day outside, so plan for all kinds of weather. Try to avoid anything too clunky; there’s nothing worse than an eight-hour drive in a car overstuffed with luggage. Clothing should be multi-use and durable. Keep unnecessary extras at home or in your hotel room — you wouldn’t want to risk losing your new iPad or getting it stolen at a busy show.

2

Remember toiletries: These are essential.

Deodorant, toothbrushes and the like will help make those early mornings more tolerable for everyone. You’d hate to watch that cute guy or gal sneer and walk away once they get a whiff of you.

3

Wear shoes: Sandals are comfy, light and help to keep those nasty sock tan lines at bay. But if you are in the crowd by the stage or walking long distances, you might want to reconsider. Blisters suck and getting your toes stomped on is worse.

4

Food and drink: Most festivals have a little market village with food vendors.

These tend to be delicious but pricey, and are often terribly unhealthy. Bring along your own snacks and a reusable water bottle. Your stomach and wallet will be glad you did. Don’t forget to stay hydrated, either. Those $8 beers aren’t going to drink themselves, but there’s nothing worse than a splitting hangover when you’re stuck in the high heat of summer and surrounded by noisy partiers.

5

Try to be green: Most of these festivals take place in campgrounds or parks.

Environmental footprints are unavoidable, but do your best to minimize yours. Recycle and don’t litter, and remember that many of these places are parks when they’re not being used as concert sites. stephanie mah

6

Off the grid: Be prepared to ditch the phone and Internet. It may be difficult to find a charging station, so save your battery for when you need it — like finding your friends in the crowd as the show’s ending. If your phone dies, it’s not the end of the world. Enjoy being free for a bit.

7

Do your homework: When it comes to festivals with huge lineups, it’s impossible to see everything. Go in with a plan. Research the venue. If the festival has been going on for a while they’ll likely list everything you need to know on their website. Look into conditions, best times to arrive and places to stay. And if they say to claim your spot on a certain day, you should probably do it.

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Travel in packs: Everything’s better with friends. Costs can be shared, travel is more exciting and your crazy stories will have a witness. Make sure that there is a decent amount of group cohesion. Festivals are really fun but they also take a toll on the body and mind. Friends might get pissed off over the course of the trip, so don’t be afraid to give them space. Everything will be fine after you all get some rest.

9

Explore: Don’t just stick with what you know and what’s comfortable. Put yourself out there and try to meet new people, see new sights and hear new types of music. The people at these events are generally pretty awesome, so say hello to some of them.

10

Don’t panic: Seriously, relax and have fun. Your experience generally depends on your outlook. You are at the festival to enjoy yourself. That said, don’t be a dick.

Don’t have fun at others’ expense. Try to make the experience the best it can be.

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CULTURE

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

Classic pranks to bring back the spirit of April Fool’s JENNA MANN Culture Editor It’s almost April 1 and lately I’ve noticed a serious lack of enthusiasm for holiday spirit. Are the prank-filled days of yore gone?

As a society, have we grown out of tricking and outsmarting each other? Are we too busy on Tumblr, Facebook and Instagram to bother?

I don’t think so. I think it’s all a matter of planning. So let’s wet our trouble-making appetites with a few of the classics:

Jell-O Stapler

You know what’s hilarious and delicious? Coming to work to see all of your office supplies encased in Jell-O. This is a prank that takes a little planning, as you have to wait for two layers of Jell-O to set.

What you’ll need: • 2 packages of Jell-O • 1 medium-sized bowl or Jell-O • Objects to encase in the mold There are three steps to making everything jiggle: 1. Make your first layer of Jell-O in a medium-sized bowl or mold. Follow the directions on the package and let it set. Make sure there’s enough room for an equal amount of Jell-O to be poured on top after. Let the Jell-O set in the fridge.

2. Once your Jell-O has set, place any object(s) you want encased in the centre of the bowl or mold. You should probably

sanitize these objects first, in case anyone actually wants to eat the Jell-O later.

3. Make a second package of Jell-O and pour it on top of these objects. Let set in the fridge.

4. Once it sets, take the Jell-O out of its mold and place it on the plate. Wait for your co-workers to enjoy.

1. String the dental floss through the Mentos using the sewing needle.

2. Place the Mentos inside the pop bottle’s cap.

3. Fasten the lid tightly back onto the pop, keeping the string tight and the Mentos from falling into the liquid.

4. Cut off the loose strings from the edge of the pop bottle lid. Be careful not to shake the drink up, or turn the pop bottle upside down.

5. When the target of your prank opens the bottle, the Mentos should drop into the container causing it to fizz up and shoot soda in all directions.

“My mouse isn’t working”

This one is for your computerilliterate friends.

What you’ll need: • basic computer skills.

1. Take a screenshot of your friend’s desktop.

2. Make this shot their background.

3. Delete all desktop shortcuts.

4. Hide their task bar. The process to hide a taskbar varies depending on what computer system you’re using, but a quick google search will tell you how to hide the bar on whichever system you are pranking.

This prank works best on PCs but is possible on Apple computers as well. Once it’s done, watch confusion ensue.

Mento-explosion

What you’ll need: • Mentos • A bottle of pop • Dental floss • Scissors or wire cutters • A threading needle

cody schumacher

Honourable mentions:

• Another fun thing to do with soda and Mentos is to place a Mentos into an ice cube tray before freezing the water. When you serve fizzy drinks to your guests, you’ll be serving time-bombs.

• Scoop out your roommate’s deodorant and replace it with plain cream cheese spread. Make sure the cream cheese keeps the round shape of the deodorant so that your roommate doesn’t think twice.

• Cover a doorway with Saran Wrap. Your friend won’t notice the wrap and will run right into it.

• The above also works for the toilet, but expect a mess.

• Fill a hallway with cups of water. The cups must be touching and the floor shouldn’t be visible.

When someone tries to walk through the hallway, they will have to knock over the cups, spilling water everywhere, or drink their way past. This classic prank is great for dorm rooms.

• If you’re incredibly lazy, but still want to do some pranking, all you need is a post-it note. Find the victim’s mouse and place the postit over the sensor on the bottom, rendering the mouse useless.

Proceed to laugh at your friend’s frustration.

• If all else fails, a good ol’ punch to the nuts or ovaries works.

CULTURE

| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

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Inspire your appetite with Lunchography JENNA MANN Culture Editor When hunger strikes but you just can’t put your finger on what will hit the spot, Lunchography is there to help.

The Tumblr blog, started about a month ago by three unnamed Saskatoon residents, documents restaurants around the city’s central downtown area.

“This journey consists of enjoying a meal at every establishment in the downtown core area of our city that will be kind enough to feed us,” the

bloggers write in the site’s mission statement. This area is bordered

by Queen Street, Idylwyld, and the bend of the river.”

The self-described “lunch enthusiasts” visit and review restaurants ranging from food court vendors and McDonald’s Express to upscale eateries like Samurai and Mediterranno. So far they’ve reviewed 15 different locations and plan to visit around three eateries each week.

Every review is accompanied by table shots of the entire meal, individual photos of each dish and a few brief paragraphs describing

the diners’ experience with the staff, food, location and pricing.

Stand-out restaurants include the Sawaddee Bistro, Tusq and The Golden Pagoda. Breakfast spot Poached is one the crew says “does not get as much lunch love as it probably deserves.”

The bloggers shoot down McDonald’s, of course, and write that the food at Vanellis is “all style, no substance, unfortunately.”

Fortunately for some, they add that “Vanellis also boasts some of the skinniest straws in Saskatoon, if that’s your sort of thing.”

You don’t have to take the

blog’s word for it. Make a goal for yourself to try out more local food. We’re lucky enough to have an amazing selection of eateries in Saskatoon. While Lunchography

draws attention to some of the lesser-known spots, it’s far more satisfying venturing out and grabbing a bite for yourself than just staring at fancy photos.

Google Maps documents Lunchography’s bottomless appetites.

jared beattie

Modest Revolution a little too modest MICHAEL MACLEOD

Five-piece indie folk rock group Enter The Haggis began as a party band in 1996 playing Celtic music at festivals and pubs across North America and Europe.

Their latest album, Modest Revolution, is a Kickstarter-funded effort that documents a day in the life of a Canadian city — in this case Toronto — with songs inspired by Globe and Mail articles from March 30, 2012, a full year from the album’s official release date. The topics covered by these songs include the death of the

penny and media criticism.

Modest Revolution marks a new direction for the band. They have evolved from an almost purely Celtic folk rock band, playing lighthearted original tunes and upbeat traditional fare, toward a downbeat modern kind of folk rock.

Ranging from slow and melancholy to modestly uptempo, the album is an easy listen. But with no standout track, Modest Revolution may well end before a listener hears anything that grabs their attention.

Modest Revolution washes over

the listener like a sea of white noise.

However, the album effectively provides a snapshot of daily life in Toronto, with the tone perhaps helping that snapshot. If it’s just an ordinary day in Toronto, why would there be any major tonal shifts in the album? This may be the album’s biggest fault: By succeeding in capturing the ordinary day, Enter the Haggis created an album that is itself... ordinary.

Modest Revolution is passable, but Enter The Haggis really suffers from the lack of party attitude.

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Post-secondary education.

Investing in our future.

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14

CULTURE

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

Billy Talent slows down with new album ALEXANDER QUON With a new album to showcase and a wide range of tourmates, Billy Talent’s Dead Silence tour will leave you cheering.

The tour is promoting the band’s newest album, Dead Silence, which was released Sept. 11, 2012.

One of Canada’s premiere punk bands, Billy Talent roars back with a new sound in their fourth studio album. Dead Silence features frontman Benjamin Kowalewicz’s familiar vocals and the heavy guitar that made Billy Talent so popular, but it deals with very different themes.

The album opens with the melodic track “Lonely Road to Absolution.” Billy Talent’s albums are often dominated by powerful rock songs that never let up, so it’s an interesting change for their album to begin with a slow, subdued song.

Kicking back into high gear, the album continues with the guitar-

Zeus

continued from

driven scream-fest “Viking Death March.” The band is known for its angsty lyrics, and this track is no exception: “Down, let’s take it

down/ Raise up their heads on a stake/ We will show no mercy/ On evolution’s mistake.”

The titular song “Dead Silence”

is another record highlight. It’s classic Billy Talent from start to finish, although Kowalewicz avoids the screaming that fans are likely to expect. It’s a great bass-driven song with just a hint of guitar.

Dead Silence is a delight, especially for fans of punk. If you like softer rock then this album is a much more palatable introduction to Billy Talent than any of its predecessors. The album has less screaming and a lighter tone, though it still has some of the moments that defined their earlier success.

Billy Talent’s latest tour brings together a mix of Canada’s best up-and-coming rock bands (Hollerado and Indian Handcrafts) and one of the country’s more established acts, Sum 41.

Hollerado, a four-piece indie rock group, was formed in 2007 in Ottawa. Nominated for the Best New Group Award at the 2011 Junos, Hollerado wasted no time

come packaged with the band’s latest EP, Cover Me — which is also available separately.

As the title implies, the new material is made up entirely of

songs borrowed from a wide range of artists like R. Kelly, Genesis and former touring partners the Sam Roberts Band.

“The song selections were

really haphazard,” O’Brien said.

“We wanted to reflect some of the other influences that you might not necessarily associate with the band. For the most part, it

supplied

the surface of what songs we want to start working on. We haven’t really talked much about what we want to do other than that there’s a few songs floating around.”

After performing at Panama City’s Festival Abierto on March 23, the band is scheduled to set out on a cross-Canada tour from Thunder Bay to Vancouver, with a gig in Saskatoon along the way.

“Saskatoon is honestly one of our favourite towns in Canada to play, if not our favourite,” O’Brien said. “It’s always a really fun time and the crowd is really into ass kickin’ unlike anywhere else in Canada. The crowd is always a little crazy and off the hook, and that’s the kind of energy we feed off of to play a good show. When the audience is ready to rock, the band gives it back.

“We always look forward to playing Saskatoon.”

1

But that doesn’t mean Zeus will miss an opportunity to capitalize on Busting Visions’ success. The record is scheduled for a deluxe edition re-release on April 2. It will

Zeus is part of the recent resurgence of the classic rock sound that dominated the airwaves in the 1970s.

derek branscombe

(Left-to-right) Zeus members Ron Drake, Mike O’Brien, Carlin Nicholson and Neil Quin.

Upcoming Events 31

making its mark on the Canadian music scene.

Handcrafts, originally from Toronto, recently released its second album, Civil Disobedience for Losers. Hard-rocking duo Daniel Allen and Brandyn Aikins make music best described as a curious mix of metal and jazz/ blues.

Sum 41 came together as a group back in 1996 in Ajax, Ont. They have released five albums over their career, and their most recent, Screaming Bloody Murder, dropped in March 2012.

The band has won acclaim in Canada and beyond, with seven Juno nominations and a chance at Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance Grammy for their 2011 song “Blood In My Eyes.”

The four-piece rock band is known internationally and consistently puts on a solid show.

Sunday

Doldrums at Amigos Passa Passa at The Sutherland Bar Systematik at The Sweat Lodge

1

Monday

Volbeat at Credit Union Centre

2

Tuesday

Today Is The Day at Amigos Matt Blais at Bud’s

3

Wednesday

Two Hours Traffic w/ Rah Rah at Amigos Rosie & the Riveters at Luseland Homecoming Hall

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blossomed into something kinda cool.”

O’Brien says that the eclectic mix of covers has helped to fuel the group as they look forward to their next album.

“The songs were quite different from what our own music is. It was nice to do a little diversion like [Cover Me] and then come back to our own music with that experience in mind.”

Fans shouldn’t get too excited just yet. O’Brien says that plans for a new LP are still in the early stages.

“We’re just starting to scratch

Thursday

Hayden at The Bassment April Wine at the Odeon Band Wars IX at The Fez Malfunctional? at SCYAP art gallery

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Zeus takes the stage at Amigos Cantina with tourmates Yukon Blonde and special guests Grounders on April 4. Tickets are available in advance online.

Friday

The Sheaf beer night at The Hose & Hydrant!

Ceschi at Amigos Bend Sinister at Vangelis Tavern Glow Job at 302 Lounge

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Saturday

Untimely Demise at The Fez Lucero at Louis’ Pub Slates at Amigos SLUG Jam fundraiser at Lepps

for the week of February 7 - 13

| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

The USSU is for you!

TRAVIS HOMENUK I don’t know about the rest of the students on campus, but nothing gets my heart thumpin’ like the drama surrounding student politics.

Oh baby, tell me your platform one more time!

Yes, it’s that time of year: the time when claws come out and promises get made. This year there are 14 candidates running for four positions on the University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union. I pity the 10 downtrodden souls who will be stuffing their faces with comfort food after the results of the election come in, but they can’t all be winners.

There’s a lot of catty behaviour during the campaign. If you ever want to experience something totally bizarre, hang out on campus just after midnight on the day campaigning begins. It’s total poster mayhem. Few of the candidates talk to each other because they’re all focused on securing optimal placements for their posters — which, frankly, doesn’t matter in the long run.

It’s pretty difficult to focus on just one candidate’s poster in the Arts Tunnel when the candidates have covered every square inch available. It’s too bad none of our candidates are environmentally friendly.

Poster vomit aside, I cannot deny the USSU is extremely

important to the U of S undergraduate student body.

Each year we elect individuals to represent undergraduate voices, and students should take this task seriously.

Being on the USSU is also a great job. It provides successful executive members with valuable life experience, not to mention the fact that it looks stellar on a resume.

However, it seems that more often than not students aren’t really invested in who wins or loses. Many students only become interested in the election when they have a friend running or because they know a guy who knows a girl whose sister is running. Is student apathy at an

OPINIONS

all-time high?

Maybe not, but consider this: more students voted in the summer U-Pass referendum than in the last USSU election.

Isn’t that a bit sad? Without the USSU, the referendum wouldn’t have happened! In this case, the chicken definitely came before the egg — so let’s pay more attention to our chickens.

I hope it’s not too radical to suggest that students should care about their campus, including all of the individuals who provide services on campus. Even something as simple as Safewalk is put on by the USSU. The Academic Advocacy Office is also relevant to student interests on campus. This isn’t

15

elementary school anymore, folks. Mom can’t come and talk to your instructor because you failed your test. If you have a grievance with a professor or instructor, such concerns need to be taken to the AAO, which again falls under the umbrella of the USSU. Student clubs, academic support systems, health plans and transit passes are all USSU territory. These are important aspects of student life!

I mean, you can’t even put up a freakin’ poster in the Arts Tunnel without a USSU stamp! They have the power, and we give it to them.

Use your vote; it matters.

Get your posters out of my face MATT CHILLIAK

cody schumacher

Student election campaigns are pointless and absurd. It’s not that the whole democratic process in choosing our representatives isn’t important. The process of voting for the University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union members is an important one, and this is why we need to seriously reconsider the USSU campaigning process.

Most of the annual campaign crap that splatters our campus resembles the student council elections I remember from elementary school more than what I expect for an organization that is going to handle a budget of millions of dollars.

Only a handful of candidates use their posters to inform voters about some sort of future policy direction or vision. Most campaign posters tell us about useless information that is in no way related to any on campus issues.

Posters tell us that one candidate “has a face for radio, but a voice for students,” that another is “wanted” and that another has a “big forehead.”

Some posters are pleasant invitations to a “wolfpack” or to join the “madness.” Still others tell me if I vote for a specific candidate “I won’t be sorry, bro” or that “drinks are on me,” and another advertises I am getting

“two for the price of one.” All I see is hundreds of posters with no substance.

At 16 per cent in 2012 and half as much the year before, turnout for USSU elections is unbelievably low. In fact, it’s so low that it’s safe to say the majority of the university’s undergraduates don’t really give two shits about who is in charge of their union.

So why do candidates think they need a poster every four feet lining the Arts Tunnel?

Will the 32nd time I see a candidate dressed like a comicbook character be the time that captures my vote? Nope.

Perhaps they think my memory is so short I can’t remember their meaningless catchphrases between my walk from the library to Tim Hortons? The fact that some of these posters inform us of a candidate’s supposed commitment to “sustainability” is hypocrisy at its finest.

I’m sure many of the candidates mean well and have policies that could do students a lot of good. I encourage them to keep on keepin’ on.

My intent is not to belittle the USSU or those who partake in the election. I also do not wish to downplay the importance of the democratic process in choosing the USSU, but what we have is far from an impressive exercise in democracy.

Letters to the Editor: In response to the March 14 opinions article titled “5 Days for the Homeless not as helpful as we think.”

I am very offended by your recent article on 5 Days for the Homeless. If the writer had

actually read the website or contacted any of the “homeless” participants they would have realized their information was not correct. The exact goal of 5 days is to “increase awareness of homelessness and raise donations for local charitable organizations supporting homeless and at-risk youth across the country.” It has nothing to do with Edwards students trying to show they are “not greedy.”

The barbecues and beer nights

are not a celebration of these people sleeping outside but a way to raise money for charitable organizations.

The article should have been written to increase awareness and hopefully create donations for charitable organizations — not to bash Edwards students, 5 Days for the Homeless and the people who are actually trying to make a difference in the community.

Candice Pierce

Executive campaign materials I wanted to congratulate those involved with the Sheaf and University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union for some of the best photography, poster design and candidate summaries — particularly the Sheaf quiz as a gauge of awareness — that I can remember in recent years.

The USSU executive elections come during a very busy time in the term, but this year stands above many others I can remember in getting me to pay attention and make time for student governance.

Luke Sather

16

OPINIONS

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

Can we justify being anti-stupid?

The consequences of the Whatcott ruling PAUL ESAU The Cascade (University of Fraser Valley) ABBOTSFORD, B.C. (CUP) — A few weeks ago in Berlin, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said, “in America you have a right to be stupid if you want to be. And you have a right to be disconnected to somebody else if you want to be... and I think that’s a virtue, I think that’s something worth fighting for.”

Admitting that your country considers stupidity a right seems pretty funny. But, Kerry’s statement sits in stark contrast to a Supreme Court ruling in Canada only a few weeks later — a ruling that suggests in Canada you don’t have the right to be “stupid,” or in some cases even to tell the truth.

Perhaps American stupidity isn’t the worst national value.

The court ruling was for a case known as “Saskatchewan (Human Rights Commission) vs.

Whatcott,” a case against an old white man named Bill Whatcott who was accused of passing out homophobic fliers containing hate speech. The court attempted to reconcile the tension between Whatcott’s freedoms of expression and religion, and the Charterguaranteed right of Canadians

not to be discriminated against on a “prohibited ground” — race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status, disability and conviction for a pardoned offence.

The court ruled that Whatcott was indeed guilty of hate speech in two of the four fliers he distributed, but only after it set new precedents for acceptable infringement on the rights to expression and religion.

It’s these precedents that have many journalists and commentators worried, since they appear to place serious constraints on free speech in Canada.

One of the most significant changes is to the legal understanding of “hate” itself, which the court reinterpreted.

“The term ‘hatred’ contained in a legislative hate speech prohibition,” reads the ruling, “should be applied objectively to determine whether a reasonable person, aware of the context and circumstances, would view the expression as likely to expose a person or persons to detestation and vilification on the basis of a prohibited ground of discrimination.”

This is remarkable when combined with section 14 of the Saskatchewan Human Rights

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Curious

raisa pezderic/photo editor

Bill Whatcott on the U of S campus.

Code that Whatcott was found to have violated. Section 14 prohibits the distribution of material “that exposes or tends to expose to hatred… any person or class of persons on the basis of a prohibited ground.”

How exactly does a reasonable person decide what is “likely” to expose someone to “detestation,” or what “tends to expose [someone] to hatred” in a possible future circumstance? How can an individual be convicted of using hate speech on the grounds that what they’ve said could potentially expose another person to hatred?

How many levels of separation will the court allow between an individual and his or her alleged crime?

U.S. courts avoid this dilemma by forcing the prosecution to prove that the utterance itself inflicted injury or historically tends to incite violence. In Canada, it seems no such proof is required.

To add insult to injury, the ruling explicitly states that even truth is no longer a defence against an accusation of hate speech, since “truthful statements can be presented in a manner that would meet the definition of hate speech, and not all truthful statements must be free from restriction.”

As Andrew Coyne wrote in a Feb. 27 National Post piece, “I cannot quite believe I am reading these words, even now.”

Further changes come thick and fast. It is no longer necessary

for prosecutors to prove that the defendant intended to be hateful in order to win a hate speech conviction, and the law no longer provides any acceptable defence once the definition of hate speech has been satisfied.

Most worryingly for some religious groups, the courts no longer recognize one’s sexual orientation as differentiable from one’s identity. An attack on sexual behaviour or identity is, by proxy, an attack on the group associated with the behaviour, and is therefore potential grounds for a hate speech charge (for example, Whatcott claimed to “hate the sin, love the sinner.”

In a deomocratic country that supposedly prides itself on being a “marketplace of ideas” and allowing the free and transparent exchange of public discourse, the Whatcott ruling removes many of the barriers necessary to prevent systematic repression.

Yes, Whatcott’s fliers are a disgusting example of the use of free expression, but the alternative is far worse. Do we really have the right, after all, to decide who to silence and who to let speak based upon such generous criteria as what is “likely” or “tends” to cause hate?

Do we have the right to convict someone based on the possibility that their remarks might lead to hatred of a certain minority group, or to ignore the annoying detail that their remarks might actually

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be true, if poorly stated?

Hopefully the Whatcott ruling is a hiccup in the history of Canadian law and its precedents will be quickly overturned. I would hate to imagine a society in which the robust discussion of ideas is not the accepted way to pursue truth, but that instead “truth” is a politically correct commodity decided upon by the courts and the sensitivites of the citizenry.

Maybe you already considered stupidity to be an inalienable right of Americans; maybe you even considered it a birthright.

But remember: the right to pursue stupidity is connected to the right to pursue wisdom and knowledge.

In the U.S., the right to free expression is considered one of the central principles of a democratic state. In Canada, we’re frittering it away to prevent nutcases like Whatcott from passing out offensive pamphlets.

Does that sound like a fair exchange?

Sheaf the

.com

Write for us! find out more:

opinions@thesheaf.com

OPINIONS

17

Ready, Set, Game!

| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

samantha braun/graphics editor

FATUMA ADAR Let’s say I’m a basketball junkie who is absolutely in love with the game. Not only am I an avid spectator, but I also practice the game religiously to master the craft. Some of my training days consist of six hours of drills, workouts and exercises so that I can kick butt in my next match.

This scenario probably doesn’t faze you at all, because this is what an athlete does, right?

But replace the orange ball with a video game controller, and suddenly I’ve gone from a dedicated athlete to a gamer with a problem.

On March 17, Dino’s pub held

an event called Barcraft for people who wanted to watch the Major League Gaming winter tournament for StarCraft II. I don’t find myself gaming very much beyond the occasional Super Smash Bros and the newest Wii releases, so walking into Dino’s that day was a complete shock.

The place was packed with fans watching a live stream from Dallas of head-to-head combat between two professional StarCraft players.

I watched as fans ate their nachos and sipped their green St. Patty’s day beer, noticing something that haters of the hobby are reluctant to accept — gaming is a sport.

Nearly three million people

The Major League Gaming winter tournament for StarCraft II at Dino’s pub.

worldwide tuned into the winter tournament, and with loud cries and boos and overall pandemonium, the crowd at Dino’s looked like it was watching any other big-ticket sports event.

Why is it that whenever we think of hardcore gamers we picture a sad fat guy with a bag of Cheetos in one hand and a controller in the other?

We think of gaming as allconsuming and unhealthy, but can’t that argument be applied to any sport? Some might say the difference is that athletes keep themselves in shape and maintain a healthy diet for their craft. But in reality, not every gamer gives up physical fitness to compete in

video game tournaments.

Don’t believe me? You can ask Nik Lentz, an Ultimate Fighting Championship athlete who is also an avid StarCraft player, if the eSport — competitive video gaming — he loves so much is deterring his career as a professional ass-kicker.

Barcraft host Alan Wrubleski says the best thing about StarCraft is its community, just as with any sports following.

It’s easy to find a new bud at any bar by sharing a mutual love for the Roughriders, but it’s not so easy to blurt out your love of gaming outside certain spaces where you know you’re likely to find other gamers.

fatuma adar

The vast majority of us play video games, but most of us don’t call ourselves gamers. Why is this? One reason is that the games we play usually aren’t as “hardcore” as the ones we think self-proclaimed gamers play.

I might play Angry Birds during my entire 50-minute class today, but I’m not as “obsessed” as the guys who play Call Of Duty for eight hours. The wider populace seems to look down on those who game passionately.

Wrubleski considers himself a “closet gamer” because of these still-prevalent stereotypes.

It seems, however, that the only people who view gaming in a negative light are those of us who live on the western hemisphere.

In Korea, eSports are a major part of the sporting community and fans of StarCraft are as common as hockey fans here in Canada.

Corporations in Korea aren’t blind to the large and growing culture: sponsors are flocking to spectating events where audiences aren’t afraid to unleash their inner geek.

In university we get into hobbies, majors and fandoms that others may criticize. But whether we do something for sport or as a career, we don’t need pretentious people telling us that something we enjoy will make us social outcasts.

I call for all those “closet gamers” to march out of their closets unapologetically and embrace their fandom like fans of any other sport.

If we keep letting others’ snobbish attitudes shape who we are then it is game over for all of us.

18

HUMOUR

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |

FAKE NEWS OF THE WEEK

SASA promotes library canoodling In a startling move, the Sexually Active Students’ Association has declared the upper floors of the Murray Library fit for sexual intercourse. Specifically, floors three and up are now considered safe zones for getting down and dirty, though library staff frown upon the declaration.

One staff member has already gone on stress leave after finding condom wrappers in a copy of Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. Another librarian fainted upon finding a mysterious substance on a copy of The Oxford English Dictionary, claiming the substance was “definitely not dust.”

SASA said they were prompted to designate the library as a space for learning and coitus following dozens of posts on the “USask Confessions” Facebook page in which students confessed to partaking in or witnessing sexual activities in the library.

One individual claimed to witness a third-floor blowjob, and was so startled by the scene, the individual in question farted and knocked over a stack of books. The participants involved in the fellating could not be tracked down for questioning.

“Learning is stressful. Sometimes students simply need to take a load off — literally,” said SASA president Johnson Dix. Dix refused to comment further on the best spots to engage in such promiscuous activities, but encouraged students to try out

different locations for different purposes. He did note, however, that the movement would only be successful if students are clever about where and when they engage in such activities.

The SASA campaign has been wellreceived thus far. Notably, SASA promotes safe sex only, encouraging students to be choosy with their partners. “Wrap the gift before you give it away,” said another SASA executive.

SASA has not limited its library sex campaign to students either, inviting faculty and staff to partake should they so choose.

SASA wants everyone to have a positive, fulfilling sex life. For some, having sex in public is part of that fulfillment.

Dix ended his remarks by reminding students that testing shows physical activity is good for engaging minds in academic pursuits.

At the time of print, a threesome was about to go down on the fourth floor and my buddy Kyle was totally getting head in the north wing.

CAMPUS CHAT

| thesheaf.com | 28 March, 2013 |

19

Campus Chat What’s the best super power?

Being able to grow mitts on Superhuman speed. your hands.

Lindsay Jackson

Renae Painchaud

Instant food: think of something Having jet pack legs. and it’s made.

Makenna Sheppard

Brian Woytowich

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OPINIONS

| 28 March, 2013 | thesheaf.com |