The Skinny December 2012

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Issue 87 December 2012

MUSIC | FILM | CLUBS | THEATRE | TECH | ART | BOOKS | COMEDY | FASHION | TRAVEL | FOOD | DEVIANCE | LISTINGS

Contents

KRISKRISTOFFERSON IN CONCERT PLUS SPECIAL GUEST RODDY

THUR 06 DEC GLASGOW

0141 353 8000

A REGULAR MUSIC / TRIPLE G PRESENTATION IN ASSOCIATION WITH PRIMARY TALENT INTERNATIONAL

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

ADAM C O H E N

(BO T H S H O W S ) KRYSTLE WARR E N + T E D D Y T H O M P S O N (EDINBURGH)

(GLASGOW)

THUR 13 DEC

FRIDAY 14 DEC

0131 228 1155

0844 477 2000

USHER HALL EDINBURGH

O2 ACADEMY GLASGOW

JUST ANNOUNCED

Thursday 6th Dec ABERDEEN The Garage SOLD 8th Dec Saturday UT Garage GLASGOWOThe

illustration; eva dolgrya

B A N D

Photo: ross gilmore

H I S

CONCERT HALL

In association with PRIMARY TALENT INTERNATIONAL

RUFUS WA I N W R I G H T A N D

HART

Sunday 9th Dec DUNDEE Fat Sams Monday 10th Dec Dumfries The Venue

p.22 dam mantle

p.36 christmas cards

JUST ANNOUNCED

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE SUN 16TH JUNE 2013

0131 529 6000

WEDNESDAY 20TH FEBRUARY

Photo: colin macdonald

0141 353 8000 www.ticketmaster.co.uk

22ND ANNUAL ST. PATRICK’S DAY CONCERT REGULAR MUSIC IN ASSOCIATION WITH ASTROJAZZ PRESENTS

HIDDEN ORCHESTRA FRIDAY 1 MARCH

EDINBURGH Voodoo Rooms

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

ZERVAS & PEPPER

SATURDAY 2 MARCH

New album ‘Cigarettes & Truckstops’ Out Jan 2013

GLASGOW Nice ‘n’ Sleazy

THURS 28 FEB

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

FRI 01 MAR

GLASGOW EDINBURGH ORAN MOR QUEEN’S HALL

illustration; Dr. Darren Icke

GLASGOW CONCERT HALL

New album ‘Archipelago’ Out Now via Tru Thoughts Recordings.

p.49 mark gardener

p.71 santa eggs

IN ASSOCIATION WITH X-RAY TOURING

december 2012

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

Tues 11th Dec Edinburgh Liquid Rooms

TUESDAY 11TH DECEMBER

Glasgow ORAN MOR

june tabor & oysterband

Tuesday12th February

Glasgow ORAN MOR

JOHN MURRY

Glasgow Oran Mor Tues 8th Jan

0131 668 2019

EDINBURGH Queen’s Hall

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December 2012

Editor Music & Online Editor Art Editor Books Editor Comedy Editor Deviance Editor DVD Editor Fashion Editor Film Editor Food Editor Heads Up Editor Listings/Cyberzap Editor Performance Editor Staff Writer Tech Editor Travel Editor

EDINBURGH

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S GLa N MOR ORA

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without the explicit permission of the publisher. The views and opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the printer or the publisher.

Rosamund West Dave Kerr Jac Mantle Keir Hind Bernard O’Leary Ana Hine Keir Roper-Caldbeck Alexandra Fiddes Jamie Dunn Peter Simpson Anna Docherty Anna Docherty Gareth K. Vile Bram E. Gieben Alex Cole Paul Mitchell

Production

fri 21 dec edinburgh liquid rooms

Glasgow, Rose St Edinburgh & Ripping Records and all usual outlets

THE SKINNY

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Editorial

NELL BRYDEN TUES 15 JAN

Thurs 24 Jan EDINBURGH Voodoo Rooms

Ron Pope

Wed 5th Dec

Issue 87, December 2012 © Radge Media Ltd.

Production Manager Designer Sub Editor printed on 100% recycled paper

Peter Marsden Maeve Redmond Bram E. Gieben

Sales/Accounts Sales Director Marketing Executive Sales Executive

Accounts Administrator

Lara Moloney Michaela Hall George Sully Tom McCarthy Solen Collet

Publisher

Sophie Kyle

contents 6

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16 17 18 20 22 23 25 26 29 31 32

front

Crystal Baws tells you how it's gonna be this December, while our resident astrologer Mystic Mark and sidekick Dr Darren Icke present an Esoteric Xmas Gift Guide; Skinny on Tour visits the frozen north; Purity Ring claim 'Shot of the Month'; new Art editor Jac introduces herself.

Heads Up: Your guide to the festive season, from Christmas Songwriters Club to all things Hogmanay.

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lifestyle

The annual Christmas Showcase Special invites back some of The Skinny's favourite artists and illustrators to design cards for you, dear readers.

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Fashion presents a beautiful shoot displaying the accessoriesyou most desire to be gifted.

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Keeping with the festive theme, Food and Drink offers some guidance on what edible presents are available to you this year.

Avoid the foetus cookie cutter at all costs.

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Deviance refuses to cooperate with the festive theme with an insight into Scottish race relations and musings on the benefits of egg donation for women.

Class of 2012: A countdown of our music experts' favourite albums of the year, featuring exclusive interviews with Grimes, Django Django, Death Grips and many more.

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Travel takes a trip down the East Coast of the US, with not-even-slightly hilarious consequences.

Joy of Six: Six new short films packaged together, touring UK cinemas - we speak to director Will Jewell

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features

The Skinny's film writers run down their top ten list of films of 2012. *SPOILER ALERT* Does not include The Dark Knight Rises.

Hogmanay: A Guide – our picks of what to do across Scotland, from spinning flaming balls of death to drinking in a church.

Dam Mantle - Glasgow's avant-garde beatsmith extraordinaireb discusses his new album, Brothers Fowl.

Searching for Sugar Man director Malik Bedjelloul on his reluctant subject.

S&M clubber's paradise Torture Garden returns to Edinburgh, so our Theatre editor took the opportunity to do a bit of research in the field.

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Clubs: The December clubbing highlights, featuring Jeff Mills, Madeon, Optimo, Jacques Lu Cont, Funk D'Void, Derrick Carter and Slam, PLUS: A very special DJ chart from Wrong Island resident Teamy!

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Mere days before the Turner Prize winner was announced, our new Art editor shares her thoughts on the four finalists.

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Last Shop Standing is a new documentary exploring the rise, fall and rebirth of independent record shops - we speak to writer Graham Jones.

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Beginning our Chrismastravaganza, a gift guide for techies and comedy junkies.

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Followed by some hints on what to get your favourite bibliophile with our Books Gift Guide...

Music: New music by Scott Walker, Christ., Gene's Martin Rossiter, A Band Called Quinn, St Deluxe, The Douglas Firs, and Dam Mantle, PLUS: Ride's Mark Gardner reviews the singles.

New Blood: We chat to alt.folk mob Randolph's Leap about the benefits of Fence patronage.

Responsible for shows in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Stirling this festive season, we talk to Johnny McKnight, the golden boy of contemporary Scottish pantomime.

Subcity: The Next Generation – Glasgow's innovative student radio station has a new Glorious Leader! We chat to Niall Morris, aka CUR$ES, about his plans

review

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80s kiddie horror favourite Gremlins is getting a long-overdue re-release. We caught up with director Joe Dante to discuss its counter-consumerist message.

Film: Up for review this month is In Bruges follow-up Seven Psychopaths, Hollywood classic What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?, and the re-release of Joe Dante's Christmas classic, Gremlins.

DVD: *SPOILER ALERT* Does not include The Dark Knight Rises. Is this how we repay Bruce Wayne's years of sacrifice? Zombie Flesh Eaters, finally makes it to Blu-ray, though.

Books: Reviews include Top Gear's Cool 100, and Kohl Publishing's debut release, Fremont. Tech: Games, games, games – Assassin's Creed III and Hitman.

Theatre: A quick look at events in the thespian world outside the pantosphere.

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Comedy: Edinburgh comedy troupe Politigiggle look back on 2012.

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W AITING FOR GO WAITING W AITING ON JACK WAITING CLASSIC WHEELS SEAMS

back

Competitions: WINWINWIN!!! Tickets to Drambuie's Hogmanay events, plus Canongate's top ten books of 2012.

Listings: back to basics – here's the details of events across Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee for the month of December.

Guest Selector: James and Andy from The Twilight Sad take us through ten albums that changed their lives.

Mystic Mark and Dr Darren Icke present an interview with the man behind everyone's favourite Christmas treat, Santa Eggs.

Disclaimer: this may not be 100% true.

3rd

OVE OVER R 14’S

BLINDFOLDS THE BEGBIES THE GAZELLES RADIO ARCADE

THE SUNSHINE SOCIAL CAMPFIRES IN WINTER

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7th

CHERRI FOSPHA FOSPHATE ATE T VERSUS VERSUS QUEEN JANE THE BARRELS

5th

TRAITOR EXILE THE TRAITOR 15 TIMES DEAD MAELSTROM BLOOD THREAD

8th

CHRIS DEVOTION & THE EXPECTATIONS EXPECTAT TIONS

FLUORESCENT HEARTS ONE GOODREASON SKIPPY DYES WHISPER RY CLUB WHISPERY

HONEYBLOOD

ANDERSON MCGINTY WARD WEBSTER W ARD A AND FISHER DA AVEY V HORNE DAVEY SIENNA

MICHAEL EDGAR RYAN R YAN A JOSEPH BURNS BU CALLUM BAIRD STEPHANIE MANNS NS

HAIGHT-ASHBURY HAIGHT T-ASHBUR Y RED SANDS STARLETS THE ST TARLETS A COURIER’S CLUB

LITTLE EYE CALLUM FRAME THE ASHTONES LORI MCTEAR

FATHERSON F AT THERSON AND FRIENDS MICHAEL CASSIDY

YOUNGER THE CLOCK LUCA AAMES

99th th

50+ SCOTTISH BANDS OVER 15 NIGHTS IN JANUARY

44th th

Y THE LION KITTY

MIAOUX MIAUOX ROMAN NOSE ORGANS OF LOVE

12th

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15th

SECRET MOTORBIKES THE REVERSE COWGIRLS BABY STRANGE

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@Kingtuts King Tut's Wah Wah Hut 2010. 272a St Vincent Street, Glasgow, G2 5RL

POOR THINGS BLACK INTERNA AT TIONAL INTERNATIONAL F AT GOTH FAT

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17th

Access

KET to all EN TIIC shows!

GOLD

O2 ACADEMY GLASGOW Sunday 24th & Monday 25th MArch 2013

+ BLANCK MASS

glasgow SECC

Saturday 2nd March 2013

THEGASLIGHTANTHEM.COM PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

+ SECRET MOTORBIKES

GLASGOW CATHOUSE FRI 7th DECEMBER

Art: Looking back at November's Sonica festival in Glasgow, and a quick look at some art gifts (we're not going to be letting that Christmas theme lie any time soon.)

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DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTSâ&#x20AC;Ś DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTSâ&#x20AC;Ś

0844 499 990 | 0844 395 4000 gigsinscotland.com ticketsoup.com | ticketmaster.co.uk s i g u r - r o s . c o. u k

O 2 ABC GLASGOW + GINGER WILDHEART LET THEM EAT CAKES. MARCH 2013

GLASGOW BARROWLAND SUNDAY 3RD MARCH

NEW ALBUM â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;HOT CAKESâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; OUT NOW WWW.THEACTUALDARKNESS.COM

PETER HOOK

& THE LIGHT

FRIDAY 8TH MARCH 2013

J E S S I E W A R E . C O M

FOALS GLASGOW BARROWLAND

TUESDAY 5TH MARCH 2013

PERFORM JOY DIVISIONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S â&#x20AC;&#x153;UNKNOWN PLEASURESâ&#x20AC;?

ABERDEEN THE GARAGE

PLEASE NOTE: CHANGE OF VENUE DUE TO PHENOMENAL DEMAND â&#x20AC;&#x201C; ORIGINAL TICKETS STILL VALID

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PERFORM JOY DIVISIONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S â&#x20AC;&#x153;CLOSERâ&#x20AC;?

EDINBURGH LIQUID ROOM THURSDAY 6TH DECEMBER

GLASGOW ORAN MOR

TUESDAY 29TH JANUARY 2013

EGYPTIAN HIP HOP GLASGOW NICE â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; SLEAZY Friday 1st March 2013 EDINBURGH ELECTRIC CIRCUS Saturday 2nd March 2013 @egyptianhiphop

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For tickets call: 08444 999 990 or online: www.gigsinscotland.com www.ticketmaster.co.uk

Follow gigsinscotland on twitter @gigscot December 2012

THE SKINNY

5

CHAT

Editorial

In light of the forthcoming Mayan-predicted end of the world, we at The Skinny have decided to designate this edition a special souvenir Apocalypse Issue. To do this we have written The Apocalypse Issue on the cover and allowed Mystic Mark to try and punt his Topless Mayan Calendar™ in his gift guide again. You’re welcome.

Otherwise we have done what we usually do in December, and gone completely batshit over Christmas. Sometimes the shiny lights are the only things keeping us going in these dark winter days.

We’ve got gift guides for Tech, Comedy, Books, Fashion, Food and Art, offering an array of expertly chosen items that would make perfect presents for your nearest and dearest. The Showcase once again displays a selection of original Christmas cards by some of the artists and illustrators who have contributed to the magazine in 2012, and features a ‘festive’ burrito and a watercolour of a robin with tits, alongside the more orthodox beautifully designed Yuletide offerings. And, in the inside back cover lies an original piece of Christmas-themed fiction, casting a dark eye over the murky world of battery farming santas to harvest their eggs. If you don’t laugh, you’re probably dead inside.

Theatre celebrates the season with some words from the man rejuvenating pantomime across the country, Johnny McKnight, while also looking forward to S&M club extravaganza Torture Garden, back in the capital this month. Film salutes the re-release of 80s Christmas-ish classic Gremlins, talking to director Joe Dante about his enduring anti-consumerist message. After Christmas, of course, we move onto Hogmanay, with an exhaustive guide to the best events across the whole of Scotland, from Optimo in the Glue Factory to firebaws in Stonehaven.

The flip side of December coverage is of course the traditional end-of-year round-up. We’ve diligently polled our contributors to find out what their favouritest things of 2012 have been. First up – the top 50 albums as compiled by our discerning

Music editor and writers. Our extended Class of 2012 piece includes exclusive interviews with some of the artists behind the year’s finest releases, from Matthew Dear to our May cover stars Death Grips.

Next we’ve got the Films of 2012, chosen by our resident cinephiles and featuring some certified gems of the silver screen. The list has already caused a bit of controversy in The Skinny offices (i.e. where’s Batman?) – you can have your say on all our selections online at www.theskinny.co.uk.

We’ve even got some non-seasonal content for you, because (in stark contrast to the message on our cover) life goes on. We’ve got some words with Glasgow-based musical innovator Tom Marshallsay, aka Dam Mantle about new release (and our album of the month) Brothers Fowl. We also take a closer look at the state of independent record shops, ahead of the release of new film Last Shop Standing, while Art editor Jac heads down to London to check out the Turner Prize exhibition and report back. Then, we end the year as we began, with some words from The Twilight Sad, who talk us through a few of the albums that inspired them during the band’s formative years, from Bowie to the Manics.

Finally, and from everyone at The Skinny – we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year. See you in 2013, apocalypse permitting.

[Rosamund West]

SKINNY ON TOUR

Food & Drink editor Peter took a break from concocting conspiracy theories involving Heston Blumenthal to take a trip somewhere very very icy.

But where did he go?

Enter your guess at www.theskinny.co.uk/competitions and you might win a bottle of wine courtesy of our expert friends at VINO WINES. Closing date: Wed 2 Jan

with Mystic Mark

ARIES Since you have been reincarnated in your current form, you can only imagine what horrors you must have committed in a past life.

TAURUS As your plane back home plummets towards the ground this Christmas Eve you turn to the screaming passenger beside you and yell above the din and horror that it’s “just like that bit in Die Hard 2.”

SCORPIO As the Mayan calendar comes to an end without incident, you realise that the entire thing has been a hoax perpetrated by the CIA to distract you from the shocking truth about the Aztec calendar which ends on the 21st of December 2013, and with it, the world.

GEMINI Love is just a word. Like marrow is a word, or dome. They’re all just words.

Stop going on about them all the time.

CAPRICORN While burning toast in your caravan, you happen across a miraculous image of our Lord and Saviour, David Icke, scorched into the bread. He who loved the world so much, he sacrificed his evenings on the internet and gave himself high blood pressure for our sins.

a

This month's cover illustration is by Elena Boils, a London-based illustrator, born in Mexico, graduated from University College Falmouth in 2012. www.elenaboils.com.

Type design by Maeve Redmond. www.maeveredmond.co.uk

Purity ring at stereo, Glasgow tue 27 nov By ross gilmore

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CANCER You spend your evenings boasting at the turkey in your freezer. “Who’s walking around now?” you taunt through the plastic door.

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LEO Every Christmas a jolly fat man secretly comes down your chimney, and when you catch him you’re going to have him put on the sex offenders register.

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VIRGO Making love to your wife is exactly like Christmas dinner. You shove the oversized meat in the oven and don’t pull it out until the juices run clear. Invariably, you end up with gravy all over your face and the table splattered with trifle while the dog sits staring at you, licking his lips, waiting for his turn. You usually finish first and sit there grinning with your cracker in your hand, crumpled and limp. Afterwards you fall asleep with the TV on.

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g THE SKINNY

December 2012

Going somewhere nice? Why not take a copy of The Skinny and perhaps you can be in next month’s Skinny on Tour. Submit your entries to competitions@theskinny.co.uk

Crystal Baws

SHOT OF THE MONTH

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Entrants must be over 18. Winners will be notified on the day of closing and will be required to respond within one week or the prize will be offered to another entrant. For full terms and conditions, go to www.theskinny.co.uk/terms and www.drinkaware.co.uk for the facts.

LIBRA You’re not doing too bad considering how stupid you are.

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SAGITTARIUS Only wimps need the toilet. Next time you need a shit, walk it off.

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AQUARIUS Sick of your parents’ lies about Santa Claus, on Christmas Eve you hear a sudden clang followed by the insane howl of your father. Rushing to the living room you find your mother attempting to free him from the bear trap you carefully laid, presents strewn at his feet. You scream at them to confess but they refuse. Chloroforming and dragging them into the basement you begin interrogations. Slapping them awake, you brandish photos of them leaving Toys ‘R’ Us laden with gifts and compare your father’s handwriting with a note Santa left last Christmas.

Demanding to know the truth, your father yells that you can’t handle the truth and spits in your face.

You towel away the spittle while calmly connecting the car battery cables to his genitalia.

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PISCES This year you finally get the mountain bike you always wanted as part of your divorce settlement.

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twitter.com/themysticmark

C H AT

Mind Your Gr ammar!

The Skinny’s new Art Editor stops by to introduce herself words: Jac Mantle

From the ashes of Captain’s Rest rises Broadcast, the new Sauchiehall Street venue-cumcafé-bar. Offering a steady lineup of gigs by both established promoters and punters, it looks set to live up to its heritage. Go check out the spacious new digs, try some tasty grub, and have a pint or four to toast the end of the world.

START THE PRESSES! The Skinny is launching a new edition in Manchester and Liverpool next year.

We’re very excited and we hope you will be too.

We’re looking for editorial, sales and marketing staff to start early next year – go to www.theskinny.co.uk/about/get_involved to find out more.

Position 2: CineSkinny assistant editor The CineSkinny assistant editor will work closely with The CineSkinny’s editor, designer and writers in the general production of the magazine. The role will involve review/feature writing and editing/ subediting content for print and online. He/she will have excellent writing and editing skills, be used to working to strict daily deadlines, be able to turn around reviews/features under pressure and, most importantly of all, be passionate about cinema.

org.uk/having-voice/scot-pep-campaigns/ criminalisation-purchase-sex Black Widow Burlesque Auditions. 12 Dec, Glasgow. The Black Widow Burlesque troop are holding auditions for their February show. Fire breathers, magicians, jugglers and contortionists particularly encouraged, but all welcome. facebook.com/BurlesqueBlackWidow The Scottish Women’s Convention is holding a Young Women’s Event (Age 16-25) on 8 Dec at STUC Building, Woodlands Road, Glasgow.

There’ll be info and discussion on employment rights, media, unemployment and voting. To register email info@scottishwomensconvention. org. Free.

Join The CineSkinny team...

The CineSkinny is a guide to Glasgow Film Festival published daily during the festival and it is looking for two passionate individuals to join the team for its upcoming editions. Candidates should be available to commit full-time to the role during GFF (14-24 Feb) and be available for a day’s training several weeks before the festival begins.

To apply, please send an email to jobs@theskinny. co.uk stating your interest in the position and why you are the right person for the job. Please include a current cv and some relevant examples of your work. Please indicate the position to which you are applying in the subject line of your email. The deadline for both applications is 7 Jan 2013.

Position 1: CineSkinny designer The CineSkinny designer will be responsible for the layout of The CineSkinny during the festival.

He/she should have experience in the design and layout of print media and be a proficient user of InDesign and Photoshop. He/she will have an excellent eye for detail, nimble graphic design skills and be used to working to strict deadlines.

The Scottish Universities Insight Initiative is holding a two day seminar in Glasgow on 6 & 7 Dec on Constitutional futures: Gender Equality Matters In A New Scotland. Register at: www.scottishinsight.ac.uk The public consultation on the criminalisation of purchasing sex in Scotland ends on 14 Dec. For more information on the proposal and how to reply visit www.scot-pep.

LAST MINUTE HOGMANAY GIGS! WRONG ISLAND residents Teamy and Larry have just announced a VERY special Hogmanay party – they will be welcoming David Barbarossa’s Wild Combination and seminal Glaswegian electro gang Den Haan to Sleazy’s on 31 Dec. Check our listings for times and prices, and be sure to check Teamy’s awesome Bollywood Disco DJ Chart in this month’s Clubbing section!

enlighten your spirit. Each individual aroma draws on bullshit passed down generation to generation by ancient cultures from all over the world. Simply light a match and find yourself transported to the Aztec rainforest, where a shamanic priest bathes you in ceremonial bullshit. Then, journey across the Himalayas, where incense from sacred bullshit rituals fills the air, untethering your true spirit-self and wafting you upwards into the sky. Or merely drift upon a rosewater lagoon as fragments of bullshit float between your toes. No matter which particular aromatherapeutic option you seek, we stock the entire range of smelly bullshit.

DR. DARREN ICKE’S TINFOIL WALLPAPER (£4.95) Sick and tired of having your thoughts controlled from space by the CIA? Protect your family from orbital mind-control lasers with these special rolls of Illuminati-proof tinfoil. Of course, the New World Order isn’t going to just let you slip out of their grasp that easily. They’re going to implant thoughts in your mind like “what a stupid product,” and “I’d have to be stark raving mad to buy that,” or “I could just use a regular roll of tinfoil instead of wasting my money.” Show them that you will not be controlled so easily. Cover your home in Dr. Darren Icke’s patented Tinfoil Wallpaper, which helps deflect harmful mindcontrol beams back into the ionosphere.

TOPLESS MAYAN ADVENT CALENDAR (£9.45) Countdown to Apocalypse 2012 with these genuinely coffee-stained apocalyptic advent calendars.

Features barely-legal Mayan virgins awaiting obliteration by some of the many disasters to be inflicted on mankind this December. From tornados to terrorism, alien invasion to asteroids and robot war to rapture. Prepare for the end of days by huddling over a piece of card in your house, fiddling with tiny windows so that you can look at drawings of boobs. Almost certainly not a rehash of a previous idea.

PARANOIA (£14.99) PARANOIA, the blasphemous new stench from Mystic Mark. Whether you’re gracing the ambassador’s ball, out for a night at the opera, or simply entertaining guests in your luxurious apartment, bring any room to its knees with this obscene and wretched perfume. It is a fleeting conscious pleasure. From the first gasp, your vision begins to stutter and fade, the exquisite darkness closing in.

Colours desaturate as you spiral down, down towards the foul event horizon from which the stench radiates. This abhorrent bouquet reminds us at once of the nightmarish futility of existence and the certainty of death, while drawing us towards a sensory abomination that can never be unsmelt.

Immerse yourself in the inescapable fragrance of PARANOIA. An epidemic of putrid tang, the warm liquid steam of this demonic guff stings the eyes and withers the resolve. Whatever the occasion, tear your face a new pair of nostrils, with Mystic Mark’s PARANOIA. SHAPESHIFTING LIZARD SKIN CREAM (WITH VITAMIN E) (£5.99) Shapeshifting from lizard to human form is great for controlling Earth so you can mine gold to save your dying homeworld, but it’s not so great for your skin. When you’re juggling appointments and global depopulation deadlines, you don’t have time for an exhaustive skincare regime. That’s why there’s new Hypoallergenic Shapeshifting Lizard Skin Cream, for the hard-working reptilian overlord who wants to crush the human race AND look great. Revitalise dry cracked scales with the nutrifying formula, penetrating your watertight, abrasive epidermis with vitamin-enriched micro-molecules.

Never again spend hours removing crusty nodules from your armoured eyelids or sandblasting your segmented underbelly. Instead, spend your life-cycle on the things that really matter to you: eating babies, manipulating financial markets and basking on rocks in the warm glow of Earth’s home

Esoteric Christmas Gift Guide

Following in the bloody footprints of last year’s Esoteric Xmas Gift Guide, Mystic Mark and Dr. Darren Icke once again investigate some of the many ways you can liberate yourself of soul-crushing wealth words: Mystic Mark & Dr Darren Icke Stop a minute, traveller, let me lighten your burden! Cross my palm with silver, your grandmother’s gold, or if you’re a bit short, my palm now accepts all major credit cards.

WEEGIE BOARD (£40) Bring any dinner party to life by contacting raucous and threatening deceased weegies via this mystical board. Watch in amazement as the glass violently slides across the letters, spelling out obscene remarks punctuated by gruff swear words, all the while asking you what the fuck you think you’re looking at, and if you have 18p for the bus. Mystic Mark accepts no responsibility in the event of a poltergeist weegie using the apparatus to physically glass participants.

AROMATIC BULLSHIT (£6) Run a hot bath, light a candle, sit back, relax and unwind with the scent of soothing, aromatic bullshit. Let the radiant energies immerse your soul and

When it comes to art reviews, I’m not a fan of the first person pronoun. I prefer to write myself out of them, thinking individual experiences are best reserved for blogs and columns. Of course, everybody has an individual response to art, but rarely does art address you or me specifically – it’s usually a more abstract being known as ‘the viewer.’

Even writing this salutatory column, as I take on the role of Art Editor, makes me squirm a little. That’s why this is probably the last you’ll hear from me – in such candid terms, anyway.

Something I am a fan of, is reviews. It’s important to talk about work that – who knows? – perhaps isn’t being made anywhere else in the UK. With a small, shiny new team of writers, it’s one of my aims to bring you more reviews of contemporary art, in Scotland and perhaps further afield. Beginning last month, Australian artist and GSA student Peter Drew will write a regular column, recording his preconceptions and first encounters with Scottish art.

One show I’m especially looking forward to next year is Scotland’s presentation at the Venice Biennale.

Curated by the Common Guild, it will bring together Corin Sworn, Duncan Campbell and Hayley Tompkins in the Scotland’s now usual palazzo – an amazing work of art in its own right, if you were lucky enough to see Karla Black’s show there last year. We’ll be recruiting some of the Pavilion stewards as Writers in Residence, to report on all the highlights and insider views from the Biennale. Will Jeremy Deller make a bouncy castle of St Mark’s that gets shat on by Venetian pigeons? Will Ai Weiwei be censored from showing work in the German Pavilion? Time, and The Skinny, will tell.

Aside from having more reviews and perhaps a view towards abroad, I hope the section will continue in the same vein as it is now, but gradually grow bigger.

Scotland… Venice… The World… The Internet!

star. Whichever form you’ve taken, simply lather the cream onto tough lizard scales or weak and thin human tissue. The vitamin E-rich formula gets to work fast, leaving your external membrane hard, reinforced and radiant. Start each day with that ‘just-shed-skin’ feeling!

Unfortunately this year all the products are actually available: etsy.com/shop/mysticmark

December 2012

THE SKINNY

7

HEADS UP

HEADS UP ’Tis the party season alright, with Let Your Elf Go hosting their annual knees-up, Struggletown bringing the noise with a United Fruit and Citizens-soundtracked party night, as well as myriad Hogmanay bashes all vying for our attention... Enjoy!

TUE 4 dec

wed 5 dec

Shunning the panto, the Traverse instead bring one of Edinburgh's best loved figures back to life for The Arthur Conan Doyle Appreciation Society – a supernatural piece fusing lecture, storytelling, and slapstick comedy in one jolly whole. And, well, if panto is your thing, skip to listings – there's a fair few to pick from this month. Traverse Theatre, Edinburgh, 4-22 Dec, From £15.50 (£11.50/£6 unemployed)

The Lighthouse opens its doors for a special festive-themed exhibition, The Cockeyed Turkey and a Paper Pudding, featuring work from a range of artists and designers – including Sue Tompkins, Christian Newby, and Laura Aldridge – while also doubling-up as a design shop with themed Saturday markets (1, 8, 15 & 22 Dec) and a 'Secret Santa' shop selling £5 gifts by local designers.

The Lighthouse, Glasgow, until 5 Jan, Free

COMPILED BY: ANNA DOCHERTY

laura aldridge

sun 9 dec

mon 10 dec

tue 11 dec

Beloved independent record store Monorail (tucked away inside the vegan fortress that is Mono) celebrates ten glorious years of being, with a live birthday party line-up that belies their favourited place in the heart of many a local musician. They may have sworn us to secrecy on the guests, but let's just say it's well worth a look... Monorail, Glasgow, 7.30pm, Free (but ticketed)

Oh, God – it's started. It's A Wonderful Life ups its showings to twice a day as part of its series of festive airings at Glasgow Film Theatre, where it'll be screening right through the month (7-27 Dec) so no-one need miss out on its heartwarming sentiments – like, EVER. You might as well just give in to the Christmas cheer now, folks. GFT, Glasgow, 12.45pm & 5.50pm, £7.50 (£6.50)

Taking to a live setting to showcase their first album in seven years, Words and Music, now seems as good a time as ever to remember just how bloody good Saint Etienne can be, with time only adding to the power and gravitas of their distinguished pop sound. So, aye, turns out they've aged pretty well. Go see! The Liquid Room, Edinburgh, 7pm, £18.50

sat 15 dec

sun 16 dec

The Twilight Sad boys play their biggest Scottish show to date, taking to the gargantuan Barrowland Ballroom venue for a special set to mark the end of their current world tour (and the coming of Christmas, obviously). Cue much excitement on our part.

Support comes from We Were Promised Jetpacks, and Holy Mountain, with The Flying Duck hosting the official after-bash.

Barrowland, Glasgow, 7pm, £15

A veritable haven of all things cheap and vintage, Judy's Affordable Vintage Fair host a special Christmasthemed market chock with pretty party dresses, vintage-inspired gifts and collectibles, coats, cloaks, woolies a-plenty, and everything else festive and warming you can think of, all jollied along by the addition of carol singers and mulled wine. HMV Picture House, Edinburgh, noon, £2 (£1)

wed 19 dec

thu 20 dec

Inimitable Scottish folk musician and songwriter Alasdair Roberts plays a special set alongside his sometime collaborating pal David McGuinness, for which they'll be presenting a programme of pianoand-voice interpretations of traditional Scots ballads – all but guaranteed to include a good dose of impromptu musical jiggery. The Glad Cafe, Glasgow, 7.30pm, 8pm, £6

Self-funded DIY record label Struggletown host a festive edition of their regular Bloc rammy of a night, Struggle, with this edition soundtracked by the noisy post-hardcore abrasion of Glasgow's United Fruit, alongside the raw and rhythmical inventiveness of fellow hardcore Glaswegians, Citizens – for whom it will also be their farewell show. Sob. Bloc, Glasgow, 9pm, Free

wed 26 dec

It's the 25th of December, and therefore there is officially nothing else on on this day except the annual event that is Christmaaas! By law you should all be doing nothing more than eating, drinking, and being merry in a suitably naff wooly jumper. From all of us at The Skinny, we wish you a suitably lovely one!

Glasgow-based techno label Soma host the mother of all turkey come-downs, with a special Boxing Day party down't Chambre 69 – for which they'll be joined by two of Glasgow's most illustrious techno producers in the form of label favourite Funk D'Void (aka Lars Sandberg) and Amsterdam-based analogue freak Vince Watson.

Chambre 69, Glasgow, 11pm, £4

funk d'void

8

THE SKINNY

December 2012

photo:andrea heins

united fruit

Alasdair Roberts

tue 25 dec

fri 21 dec With the world penciled to self-destruct on this very eve (according to the Mayans, anyway), the Traverse and Red Note Ensemble pitch up at Summerhall for a one-off, site-specific music and theatre piece about the predicted apocalypse – entitled The End of The World, obviously. It'll feature work by Gareth Williams, John Harris, Oliver Emanuel, Hanna Tuulikki, Colin Broom, and Ludwig van Beethoven, all taking their cue from the theme of beginnings and endings (i.e. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!). Summerhall, Edinburgh, 9pm, £15.50 (£11.50/£6 unemployed). Limited to 100 folk

Red Note Ensemble

thur 27 dec The Stand commence their countdown to New Year with the first in their annual run of Hogmanay Hootfest's, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites each evening (across Edinburgh and Glasgow) right through until Hogmanay itself, with Jo Caulfield, Vladimir McTavish, and Bruce Devlin amongst those providing the laughs. The Stand, Edinburgh and Glasgow, 9pm, £12 (£10).

See listings for full line-up details

jo caufield

HEADS UP

sat 8 dec

fri 7 dec

The inimitable Noir! collective return for their eleventh outing, with #11: A Christmas Fair seeing them take to Summerhall for a Christmas-themed event celebrating Scotland's creative talent in all its alternative glory, taking place over the whole weekend with myriad bespoke stalls, pop-up exhibits, and live musical performances scattered throughout. Pretty much the coolest place to do your Christmas shopping, bar none. Summerhall, Edinburgh 8-9 Dec, 11am7pm, £4 (£3/children free)

Bigfoot's Tea Party turn the grand old age of four, marking the occasion with a sprawling party at SWG3, for which they've secured the turntablist skills of Oslo and Cocoon producer Christian Burkhardt – blasting out via the fuck-off Funktion1 soundsystem, as per the law. They then take to Aberdeen's Snafu the following weekend (14 Dec, 11pm) for part two, joined by Andrew Weatherall and Ivan Smagghe. SWG3, Glasgow, 11pm, £10

wed 12 dec Collective Gallery host a special art auction raising funds for their exciting 2013 move to the City Observatory, with over 60 artists from Collective's history donating pieces of work – among them Turner Prize-winner Martin Boyce, David Shrigley, Moyna Flannigan, Callum Innes, Claire Barclay, and Jeremy Deller. Lyon and Turnbull, Edinburgh, 6pm, £10. View the work pre-auction at Collective from 8-12 Dec

photo: sally jubb

thur 6 dec Ace vampire-themed, comedy improv show Transylvanian Nights returns with a duo of dates for December, with performers (kitted out in full period garb, naturally) enticing the audience into a selection of parlour games and bad behaviour, culminating in an improvised vampire play spun from a single audience suggestion.

The Outhouse, Edinburgh, 8pm, £7.50. Also at Glasgow's Blackfriars Basement on 15 Dec (see listings for details)

thur 13 dec

fri 14 dec

American-Canadian singer/songwriter and composer Rufus Wainwright (aka sprog of Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III, and brother of Martha) takes his newest, Mark Ronson-collaborating album to a live airing – luscious orchestration and charismatic vocals all well and in place. Usher Hall, Edinburgh, 7.30pm, From £22. Also at Glasgow's O2 Academy the following evening

Olive Grove Records and their little family of musicians take to The Glad Cafe for their version of a Christmas party, featuring live sets from signees Randolph's Leap, Jo Mango, and The State Broadcasters, plus mince pies, Christmas songs, and the tease of a promise of an Olive Grove Christmas EP for sale exclusively on the night. Raising funds for Ronald McDonald House Charities. The Glad Cafe, Glasgow, 7pm, £6

jo mango

martin boyce

mon 17 dec

tue 18 dec

Bloc's favourited chilled music night, The Glasgow Slow Club, host a three-day bender of a festival, Slowfest, joined by a host of favourited local acts, including Three Blind Wolves, Kitty and the Lion, Fatherson, Blue Sky Archives, and a secret set from the mysterious Owl John (*cough* Scott H and chums in their Scared Hare guise, or summit).

Bloc, Glasgow, 17-19 Dec, 9pm, Free

Master Scottish storyteller Alexander McCall Smith hosts a special one-off event at which he'll be discussing the tunes that inspired and appeared in Sunshine on Scotland Street, as well as a few of his other novels, joined on stage by Jamie Jauncey on keyboards, Philip Contini on vocals, and traditional fiddler Pete Clark, interspersed with a selection of his wandering tales. The Queen's Hall, Edinburgh, 7.30pm, £15

Kitty And The Lion

sun 23 dec

The jolly festive singsong that is the Christmas Songwriters' Club takes to the grander surrounds of The Queen's Hall this year, but the rules remain reassuringly the same: no bloody covers!

In the imaginary campfire glow this time around will be Withered Hand, Adam Stafford, The Machine Room, We See Lights, TeenCanteen, and Jesus, Baby!, with spoken word from Alan Bisset, and the Neu! Reekie! lot. The Queen's Hall, Edinburgh, 7pm, £10

Anything with a Christmas pun in the title is A-OK with us, and so we welcome the return of pre-Christmas merry-maker Let Your Elf Go, for which various club favourites – amongst 'em Sensu, Pro Vinylist Karim, and Thunder Disco Club – take to the decks, raising funds for Yorkhill Children's Foundation. And us? We'll dance like idiots, because by the time we roll home it'll be one day closer to Christmas. Sub Club, Glasgow, 10.30pm, £5

the machine room

fri 28 dec

sat 29 dec

Numbers host their regular last Friday of the month party night, and what has (in December) come to be known as The Numbers Before New Year, in that they'll be doing their very best to provide a suitable warm-up for Hogmanay. As is their way, guests are being kept tightly under wraps for now, but rest assured it'll be a good 'un. Sneaky Pete's, Edinburgh, 11pm, £5

The Jackhammer crew provide our post-Christmas dose of all things techno, celebrating their 11th birthday with a hefty line-up which sees Wolfjazz, Keyte, and Hammay warming up the decks for headline sets from Ben Sims, Jeff Mills, and Slam, playing over a sprawling eight hours in the Liquid Room's basement lair. Crawl home we shall. The Liquid Room, Edinburgh, 9pm, £15

photo: sol nicol

sat 22 dec

mon 24 dec Christmas Eve should quite rightly be spent pretending like you're eight-years-old all over again, hence we'll be heading to the Cameo for their late-afternoon showing of The Muppet Christmas Carol before coming home and likely digging out Home Alone and Gremlins for a back-to-back vigil for Santa. Amen. Cameo, Edinburgh, 4.15pm, £5.50 (£5)

Thunder disco Club

sun 30 dec

mon 31 dec

Edinburgh's official Hogmanay celebrations kick off with the fairytale-esque Torchlight Procession, a flamin' cavalcade which snakes its way from the historic Royal Mile to the fireworks finale on Calton Hill.

If anything's gonna get you in the mood for tomorrow's celebrations, fire is it. Leaving from Parliament Square, Edinburgh, 6.30pm, Free (torch vouchers £7)

From The Bongo Club's final swansong at their Holyrood Road location, to Optimo's legendary NYE bash (again taking place in the suitably cool warehouse surrounds of The Glue Factory), by way of myriad club nights, gigs, and drunken outdoor revels, there's many a Hogmanay bash to pick from. Flick to our listings pages for a comprehensive round-up of what's on

jeff mills

December 2012

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Features

t h e c l a s s o f 2 0 12

The top 50 Albums of the year 50. mark lanegan - blues funeral (4AD) 49. JJ DOOM – Key to the Kuffs (Lex) 48. Seamus Fogarty – God Damn You Mountain (Fence) 47. Meshuggah – Koloss (Nuclear Blast) 46. The Unwinding Hours – Afterlives (Chemikal Underground) 45. Petar Dundov – Ideas from the Pond (Music Man) 44. Vessel – Order of Noise (Tri Angle) 43. Aesop Rock – Skelethon (Rhymesayers) 42. Laurel Halo – Quarantine (Hyperdub) 41. Magnetic Fields – Love at the Bottom of the Sea (Domino) 40. Miaoux Miaoux – Light of the North (Chemikal Underground) 39. Divorce – Divorce (Night School Records) 38. Carter Tutti Void – Transverse (Mute) 37. Japandroids – Celebration Rock (Polyvinyl) 36. Julia Holter – Ekstasis (RVNG Intl) 35. Shearwater – Animal Joy (Sub Pop) 34. Quakers – Quakers (Stones Throw) 33. Converge – All We Love We Leave Behind (Epitaph) 32. Future of The Left – The Plot Against Common Sense (Xtra Mile) 31. Hildur Gudnadóttir – Leyfdu Ljosinu (Touch) 30. RM Hubbert – Thirteen Lost and Found (Chemikal Underground) 29. Meursault – Something For The Weakened (Song, by Toad) 28. Perfume Genius – Put Your Back N 2 It (Matador) 27. WHY? – Mumps, ETC (anticon / City Slang) 26. Josephine Foster – Blood Rushing (Fire) 25. Pig Destroyer – Book Burner (Relapse) 24. The Shins – Port of Morrow (Columbia) 23. James Yorkston – I Was a Cat From a Book (Domino) 22. John Talabot – Fin (Permanent Vacation) 21. Holy Other – Held (Tri Angle) 20. Chromatics – Kill For Love (Italians Do It Better) 19. Grizzly Bear – Shields (Warp) 18. Frank Ocean – Channel Orange (Def Jam) 17. David Byrne & St Vincent – Love this Giant (4AD) 16. Swans – The Seer (Young God) 15. Human Don't Be Angry – Human Don't Be Angry (Chemikal Underground) 14. Vcheka – Vcheka (Gamma Proforma) 13. Twin Shadow – Confess (4AD) 12. PAWS – Cokefloat (Fat Cat) 11. Liars – WIXIW (Mute)

10 THE SKINNY

December 2012

9. No One Can Ever Know (Fat Cat) Embraced by a growing legion but shunned by the UK summer festivals, The Twlight Sad's James Graham looks back on a bittersweet 12 months

photo: damien mcGlynn

liars

2012 was the year that dance music and classic songwriting re-engaged – as evidenced by the move towards electronica by veterans such as Liars, as much as the embracing of pop hooks by fledgling acts like Grimes and Purity Ring. As such, it was the perfect year for the return of Ghostly International founder Matthew Dear, who followed up 2010’s critically acclaimed, dystopian album Black City with its more upbeat, lounge lizard cousin, Beams.

Dear told us back in August that if Black City was “a black hole,” then Beams was “the back end of a black hole, where all the light is rushing out the other side.” It is an album that is filled with exuberance, along with elliptical, contradictory lyrics which see Dear fully embracing his role as a David Bowie / David Byrne figure for the twentyfirst century.

Dear is now on tour with Beams, and thus far, the audiences have been captivated: “People finally seem to have a sense of where to put me on their musical shelf,” he reflects. “The final show of the North American tour at Webster Hall in New York was far and away one of the most important shows of my life. There was an energy in the room I have never felt with an audience before.”

When we last spoke, Dear talked about bringing elements of theatricality to his live show: “I’ve just asked the band and myself to ‘go somewhere’ when we’re on stage,” he says. The theatricality of the performance is less rehearsed and planned: “It’s more about providing a sense of intensity and

“It’s been a strange year,” confesses The Twilight Sad’s de facto spokesman James Graham, ‘still jetlagged oot his nut’ from a successful run in the US alongside sometime touring compadres Errors. Having spent the summer in exile from the UK’s festival circuit, praise for the Kilsyth trio’s chilling, electro-tinged third album was a heartening boost. “There were a lot of highlights,” he elaborates. “We were overwhelmed by how well the album was received. But this has also been one of the hardest years in the band.”

If The Twilight Sad’s swan dive into shoegaze territory with 2009’s Forget the Night Ahead blindsided those hoping for a regurgitation of their startling debut, No One Can Ever Know led them further down the rabbit hole. Forward-looking, yet imbued in the DNA of their spiritual ancestors, the album makes tasteful nods to everyone from The Cure (see Nil’s masterfully executed gothic atmosphere) and vintage Manics (the bridge to Don’t Move is pure Holy Bible) to Depeche Mode (Another Bed shows they can create sinister electro anti-anthems worthy of the greats). Framed by guitarist Andy MacFarlane’s austere musical vision, James’s typically cryptic and evocative lyrics – delivered in that unmistakable brogue – remain a compelling point of interest. “I wouldn’t have done anything differently on No One Can Ever Know,” offers James in retrospect. “We produced exactly what we wanted to. I’m still extremely proud of this album.” To boot, the band recently released a remix companion album, featuring radical synth

urgency up there, as opposed to putting on masks and speaking to skulls,” he explains.

Asked about his songwriting process, Dear says he still leads with the beats and melodies: “Typically, I begin with the music. You can enter a mantric state when working endlessly on loops and sounds all day. Once the music has firmly placed itself in position, I then use the sedated headspace to conjure up a story with lyrics. By the time the words hit the page, I am in a very vulnerable and private headspace that allows for personal reflection into song.” This results in lyrics which are at once confessional, but also frequently oblique and abstract – keeping listeners guessing as to the themes and narratives on Beams.

Hurricane Sandy, which severely affected many citizens in the state of New York, pretty much passed Dear and his colleagues by: “My house in the woods lost power for about a week, and a few large pine trees were uprooted and laid flat on their sides,” he says. Dear is still constructing his home studio: “I’ve done some work in it, and the machines are up and running. Acoustically though, the walls are still unfinished drywall, so there is still the design element to finish. I plan to finish it in January.” The Ghostly offices were also thankfully bypassed by the superstorm: “The Ghostly crew were safe, and nothing was damaged,” Dear confirms. “Our hearts go out to those who were less fortunate. Many people lost everything, and could still use help.”

As for Dear, his plans after the current tour remain unchanged – next year will see at least two releases from him, under different aliases: “I am already working on a few songs for the next Matthew Dear album,” he confirms, adding: “I intend to make an Audion album in 2013, and build a live show around it as well.” With the prospect of more of Dear’s mercurial songwriting on the horizon, and new material from his more techno-oriented Audion alias, it seems that the celebrated producer

heavy reinterpretations by kindred spirits and fellow magpies-in-arms such as The Horrors and Liars.

So why the long faces? With three albums and countless successful tours – at home, across the pond and throughout Europe – under their collective belts, you’d imagine that this rock’n’roll caper should be getting easier. “We love what we do and we’re very lucky to have been given the opportunities that we have,” affirms James. “[Our] passion to write music and play live is as strong as it ever was, but in a business that craves the ‘next big thing,’ things aren’t going to come easily a band that writes music like ours. Not that I never wanted them to; I knew from day one we’d need to work extra hard to make this band work and thought if we put the work in and stayed true to ourselves some pay offs would hopefully come our way.”

While T4-endorsed Top Shop rock continues to dominate the airwaves, it’s a thrill to see The Twilight Sad roll the dice with such conviction.

But the question remains: Where is the upwards trajectory for a Scottish band that won’t do the dance with mainstream radio? In Katowice, it would appear. “We didn’t play many festivals this year, which was disappointing – we were told on several occasions that we’re ‘not a festival band,” says James. “I think that was proved to be wrong when we played in front of three thousand people at a festival in Poland. We might move to Eastern Europe.”

Undeterred by the fickle politics of the industry, the band’s attention now turns to album number four. “We’re in the middle of writing it just now,” James reveals. “I really hope we can have something new out in 2013. No One Can Ever Know has opened the door to so many ideas and things we can do musically. I think it’s going to be a big-sounding album. Our fourth album will be very important in deciding the future of this band.”

and singer is in the midst of a creative renaissance.

Coupled with a strong year of releases from Ghostly in 2012, from artists such as Com Truise, Adult., School of Seven Bells and Gold Panda, it looks like Dear’s innovative, mercurial fusion of cutting-edge dance music, classic pop and outré showmanship is here to stay.

[Bram E Gieben] www.matthewdear.com

photo: derek mark champman

10. Beams, (Ghostly International) Matthew Dear’s Beams spearheaded the 2012 trend that saw electronic producers embracing classic songwriting and pop music tropes – but what has he got planned for next year?

photo: rosie helena

Charting the rise of maverick talents both foreign and domestic, these are the sounds that made our Music squad's year ...

Before they bunker down to “writing, demoing, moaning and drinking” their way through Hogmanay, there’s the tantalising prospect of their forthcoming headline gig at the Barrowlands alongside Fat Cat comrades-in-arms We Were Promised Jetpacks and heavy-handed west coast riff-lords, Holy Mountain. “We haven’t even played the gig yet but I’m hoping it will be a career highlight,” he says. “I think it will be. The support we receive from home never fails to amaze me.”

See you down the front? [Dave Kerr] The Twilight Sad play Barrowlands, Glasgow on 15 Dec www.thetwilightsad.com

F E A T U RE S 7. Swing Lo Magellan (Domino) With influences that ranged from Lil' Wayne to Neil Young made plain from the outset, Dirty Projectors’ sixth LP could easily have been a mess. Thankfully Dave Longstreth’s latest vision was quite the opposite

6. Cancer4Cure (Fat Possum) Number six in our top ten albums of the year, El-P talks to us about his stunning return to hip-hop, Cancer4Cure

Speaking from his Brooklyn home, Company Flow and Def Jux founder El-P, real name Jamie Meline, is pleased to hear that his dark, intense return to the hip-hop fray, Cancer 4 Cure, has made The Skinny’s top ten albums of the year.

“Oh wow, cool,” says Meline. “What number did I get?” Advised that the order of the top ten is a closely-guarded secret until publication, The Skinny advises him that Cancer 4 Cure is bound to place near the top. “Well it fucking better be,” he responds.

Cancer 4 Cure was El-P’s first full-length lyrical offering since 2007’s I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead, not counting the odd guest spot on tracks by the likes of fellow New Yorkers Das Racist, and a slew of production credits for other hip-hop artists.

Expectations ran high in the run-up to the release, and El-P did not disappoint. The science-fiction gangsterism of The Full Retard; the breeze-block beats and overlapping lyrical blizzards of Request Denied; the street-level ‘true stories’ of Tougher, Colder Killer and For My Upstairs Neighbour – Cancer 4 Cure was a highpoint in a career full of innovation, invention, and the ruthless transgression of hip-hop norms.

Developing his analogue synth-led productions into a brutal, excoriating torrent of retro-futuristic electronica, and refining his lyrical concerns to address BDSM (Sign Here), surveillance culture

www.dirtyprojectors.net

photo: damien mcGlynn

In an age where musicians can barely stub a toe without it hitting the blogosphere, the sucker punch release of Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s first album in over a decade was testament to the elusiveness of the amorphous Canadian troupe.

Yet what was abundantly clear was just how little had changed and how musically important they remained despite the yawning interval since 2002’s Yanqui U.X.O. Back then, commentators were keen to point to Godspeed’s foreboding sense of fractious, post 9-11 paranoia, whereas on Allelujah!, visions of Arab uprising and financial collapse were the common citations. Certainly there is an Eastern slant on the note progressions of tumultuous twenty-minute opener Mladic but both this and the album’s other epic number, We Drift Like Worried Fire, have been performed live as far back as 2003.

What you get out of a Godspeed record then,

may ultimately depend on what you bring to it. However, despite the gloomy rhetoric and shrouded political sloganeering, the band seem increasingly unable to hide their lighter, more hopeful side. It was evident even on 2000’s breakthrough Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven, hidden in plain sight on the euphoric horn crescendo of opener Storm as one example.

This time it’s in the album’s title, which shares a thematic similarity with Antennas, the liberal punctuation serving only to throw us off the scent.

Then there’s the goofy album spine, credited to God’s Pee, which is about as juvenile as it gets.

But mostly it’s the music, that wonderful, eerie, cacophonous music, with the aforementioned Worried Fire slowly unfurling into wave after wave of fluttering strings, ascending guitar lines and valedictory plateaus.

Godspeed may well be signifiers of dark and foreboding times, and perhaps their re-emergence is no coincidence with all that is going wrong in the world, but as the title suggests, nay commands, Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend! is a work that inspires hope, both in a wider socio-political sense, but also in the power of fiercely-minded, non-conformist rock music.

[Darren Carle] www.brainwashed.com/godspeed

(Drones Over Brooklyn), and his relationship with his piano-player father (Request Denied), El-P also managed to expand his fanbase, appearing on Conan O’Brien’s talk show to play live with Zola Jesus, and touring the world with a changing retinue of collaborators, including Killer Mike and Mr Muthafuckin’ eXquire (both of whom he has helped to gain status in the hip-hop scene by furnishing them with instrumentals), and former Def Jux signing Despot.

“I feel really grateful for the response, honestly,” says Meline, reflecting on a year full of professional triumphs. “Ultimately I’m just excited to keep doing new music. You can’t ask for anything more than for people to like what you do.” He laughs sardonically. “That’s what we’re doing here.

Anyone who tells you that they don’t want that is definitely lying.”

Meline is reluctant to address the suggestion that Cancer 4 Cure resonated with people so much because it was a dark album for dark times: “Maybe I explore some of the darker aspects of life, or perception of life. Those are the things I’m tuned into artistically. If I didn’t have that outlet, I’d be running through the streets naked with a gun or something. So, luckily, I’m not doing that, and I think that the world is a safer place, for me and for all of us, because I get to make these tracks.” He laughs again, but there is a very real sense that he is only half-joking.

Cancer 4 Cure was perhaps the most synthheavy album of El-P’s career, evoking the spirit of pioneers like John Carpenter, Giorgio Moroder and Goblin. “I’m always gonna explore new sounds, but I’m also always gonna have my influences,” says Meline. “Even when I was sampling, I was sampling synth-heavy shit. So I’ve always been a gear-head,

I’ve always been a synth-lover. I was raised a piano player. The thing I’m adept at is playing keys. That’s always gonna be a part of what I do.”

Meline is enthusiastic about the current crop of hip-hop artists. “Shit, man, look – a couple of years ago, everyone was almost agreeing that hip-hop had run its course,” he says. “Everyone was shaking each other’s hands and nodding at the idea that the truth was that hip-hop was dead. For someone like me, that never resonated as being true. It never even came close to being true. But it’s nice to know that it’s been so clearly disproved. The thing about hip-hop music is that it desperately needs new voices, all the time.”

In 2012, some of the most exciting hip-hop was made by new voices, alongside ground-breaking work by a few veterans like Meline. This has just strengthened his belief in the culture:“No matter what people are saying and no matter what the critical taste is at the time, it’s really ludicrous to count out hip-hop culture and hip-hop music as a cutting-edge force,” he argues. “This year has been one of the best years that I can remember for new hip-hop music in a long time.”

2012 was a banner year for El-P. Can we expect another five-year wait before his next full-length lyrical outing? “I really don’t know what my next move is,” Meline confesses. “I’ve just now come off of tour for the first time in three or four months, and now I’m kind of sitting here figuring out what I want to do. I have a couple of ideas, nothing solid yet. I just know that there will definitely be new music out early next year.” Good news for fans of cutting-edge hip-hop, who will continue to pump El-P tracks, like they do in the future.

[Bram E. Gieben]

photo: neil jarvie

8. ‘Allelujah! Don’t Bend!

Ascend!, (Constellation) A decade on from their last album, and with precious little fanfare, Godspeed You! Black Emperor proved they were still a force to be reckoned with.

Much of the initial critical response to Swing Lo Magellan, the sixth album from this precociously talented Brooklyn sextet, focused upon the record’s relatively accessible character. In contrast to the fractured, mercurial brilliance of 2009’s Bitte Orca, Magellan was striking in its sonic and emotional evenness; a quality which suggested a new reflectiveness and maturity in Dave Longstreth’s songwriting. Where Orca’s hyperactive contortions displayed an ostentatious determination to dazzle the listener, Magellan was content to use the Projectors’ now-familiar palette with a more subtle, quiet confidence.

The gentle acoustic strumming, stripped-back sound and orthodox structure of the title track represents the clearest example of this new understatedness, but it’s

also evident in songs like Gun Has No Trigger, which is content to use the backing vocals of Amber Coffman, Haley Dekle and Olga Bell in a relatively softened and repetitive way. The core ingredients of the Projectors’ sound remain in evidence – afrobeat-inflected guitarwork, hauntingly strange and incisive vocals, and a prog-like ambition in terms of structure and dynamics – but the pyrotechnic shifts in tempo and volume occur less frequently here. When they do, however – as on the stoner-style burly riffage of opener Offspring Are Blank – the effect is all the more impressive.

The sense of Magellan’s separateness, however, now feels less pronounced. The record may have an unfamiliar concision and quietude, but the sheer oddness of the band’s musical palette, and the audacious inventiveness of their vision, are still present.

It’s those elements, fundamentally, which make this album every bit as thrilling and distinctive as Orca, and the two records now feel like companion pieces.

That point was confirmed at their triumphant Arches show in October, which meshed together material from the two LPs with seamless virtuosity. Swing Lo Magellan may be accessible, but it’s no less remarkable for that.

[Sam Wiseman]

www.facebook.com/THEREALELP

December 2012

THE SKINNY 11

5. Attack on Memory (Wichita) With their second album in a year Portland’s Cloud Nothings pulled off a convincing change of identity. Dylan Baldi explains why returning to the drawing board has become his favourite pastime Attack on Memory’s introductions came way back in November 2011, when lead single No Future/ No Past prowled online to throw expectations askew. Just ten months earlier, Cloud Nothings’ self-titled debut had showcased Dylan Baldi’s condensed, adrenalised pop-punk style superbly, lightly polishing the scruffy no-fi fuzz of his earlier basement recordings (collected as 2010’s Turning On) and seemingly clarifying the scope of his considerable talents.

Galloping on youthful energy and endless hooks, its peppiness was infectious, but while we were smitten, Baldi was already bored. With Cloud Nothings barely out of its shrink-wrap, its creator re-entered the studio, writing and recording its successor in a tight three weeks. “The only part the self-titled album played in the process was that I wanted to do something very different since I was really sick of those songs,” explains Baldi. “I liked the idea of us doing something new and confusing people who were familiar with us playing a certain type of music.”

Opening the album with a crescendo of strained

howls and crashing cymbals, everything about No Future/No Past seems designed to signpost this change of direction, from its title to its sullen pace to the grungy lack of melody. Wasted Days takes the reinvention/reinvigoration further, rolling and snarling over nine minutes of self-doubt and guitar solos, Baldi screaming mantras of disillusionment.

Admittedly, the remainder of the album is less thoroughly divergent, with Stay Useless among those tracks retaining a clear bowline to the band’s punchy, poppier past, but nevertheless, Attack on Memory signals a significant shift in Cloud Nothings’ parameters.

Its intensity is partly attributable to changes in the recording process. Where Cloud Nothings’ sleeve proclaimed ‘all songs written by Dylan Baldi/ all instruments played by Dylan Baldi,’ Attack on Memory saw his long-time live band (Jayson Gerycz on drums, Joe Boyer on guitar and TJ Duke on bass) credited as co-writers and invited into the studio for the first time. “I wrote the songs and lyrics and all that, then the band wrote their own parts around them,” clarifies Baldi. “But we would change things around sometimes. It’s really always been that way; I just used to record things on my own instead of with them. We’ll definitely approach [future albums] in a similar way – it’s a lot more fun to record with other people than by yourself.”

With the last two albums released almost exactly 12 months apart, we ask if Baldi has something lined up for 2013. The answer, excitingly, is yes.

“It’s shaping up to be a pretty different record than Attack on Memory,” he says of Cloud Nothings’ next move. “Hopefully people are willing to go along with it.” If his personal favourite albums of 2012 are any indication of where his mind’s at (Aaron Dilloway’s avant-noise triple album Modern Jester, Swans’ searing The Seer, a re-release from experimental drone-folk duo Natural Snow Buildings), chances are it’ll force another rethink of where Cloud Nothings are headed, and how much of a racket they’re going to make getting there. [Chris Buckle]

photo: gemma burke

photo: heidi kuisma

Features

3. Visions (4AD) The Skinny catches up with our favourite sibylline songstress, Grimes to hear about her year and get the inside track on the future of music

www.cloudnothings.com

For their third album proper, post-electro trio Errors pulled off a trick par excellence by releasing their most accomplished, focused and downright enjoyable full-length record yet. Having sidestepped their previous penchant for jokey or irreverent titles, Have Some Faith In Magic immediately marked itself out as a bold statement for the group and the music contained within followed suit. Full of crystalline soundscapes, ethereal vocals and bounding, arpeggio electronics, it is indeed a work of some sorcery.

“It’s a bit more consistent compared with previous records,” begins Steev Livingstone groundedly on the accomplished feel of their third album. “It’s mostly down to the fact that all the songs were written around the same period of time. I think we were also less scared of sounding pop. People like pop – it’s popular.”

Such a mindset is evident in the likes of single Pleasure Palaces, a notable dancefloor highlight, packed with ever-flourishing synth crescendos, bubbling electro underpinnings and, as a signpost of the band’s new slant, uplifting, yet indistinguishable vocals. “We had wanted to use vocals for a while but didn’t really know how to,” says Steev.

“Then from listening to a lot of music that used vocals in different and more interesting ways we realised it was possible to make use of them without them being the main focus of the music. It was our intention to use vocals as an instrument.”

It’s a disarmingly simple yet refreshing change of tack for the group and certainly one aspect which gives Faith In Magic a coherence that may have eluded previous albums. Yet more than this, it’s a record that is at once immediate in its pop melodies while holding back enough to warrant

12 THE SKINNY

December 2012

photo: euan roberston

4. Have Some Faith In Magic (Rock Action) They asked us for a little faith and in return delivered a sermon of divine sonic alchemy. Errors man Steev Livingstone pulls back the curtain on their finest creation yet

repeated plays of its ten faultless tracks. As a cause for celebration of a burgeoning band we’ve had our eye on for some time, it’s certainly an achievement worth breaking out the bubbly for.

Yet rather than rest on their laurels, Have Some Faith In Magic was closely followed by this year’s also-really-rather-ace New Relics EP. “There was still a bit of momentum and we had some time to get new material recorded,” explains Steev of the quick turnover. It solidified quite a year for the trio who signed to Mogwai’s Rock Action label in 2005 after only a handful of shows. Clearly the signs were there from the outset.

Unsurprisingly, the band will be taking something of a break after this particularly prolific year. “I think we’re going to spend a bit of time on other projects before we start working on new Errors material,” Steev confirms. “With every record we like to change things about, so it’ll be good to have a bit of time to allow new ideas and ways of working to develop.” Have Some Faith In Magic will certainly be a difficult act to follow, but given its un-bounding inventiveness, we’re certain Errors still have a few tricks up their collective sleeve.

[Darren Carle] www.weareerrors.com

If suffering is indeed that which distinguishes the artist from the dilettante, then Claire Boucher is well on her way to greatness. Having subjected herself to a severe regimen of fasting and sleep deprivation in order to complete her Visions LP, Boucher decided to move from Montreal to LA in the first half of 2012 as part of an effort to alleviate long-standing health problems. Her relentless gigging schedule, however, led to her developing tinnitus, along with “pain and noticeable hearing loss in (her) left ear,” resulting in the cancellation of recent Canadian and European dates: “I haven’t been holding up super-well,” she admits. “I mean, I’m not ‘out of action,’ it’s just very unhealthy to be constantly exposed to concert-level noise. I also have really intense food allergies so I tend to be sick on tour, as I’m often eating something that I shouldn’t. I’ve been back home a week and already I have so much more energy. I haven’t puked once and I don’t even feel nauseated – which is strange because I’m so used to feeling like I’m going to throw up all the time on tour.”

Boucher’s stoicism may seem somewhat at odds with her fey, hyper-stylised image, but it betrays the kind of determination that has seen her transition from synth-pop novitiate to couture-draped, Polaris Prize-nominated media darling in the space of a few short years. It’s been a dizzying ascent that Boucher feels has changed her in fundamental ways: “I used to be a very shy, withheld person, and I have had to learn to be more aggressive and forward. I think it’s translating a lot into my music also; the live shows have been getting very screamo.”

Of course, getting hand-picked for a support slot on Skrillex’s Full Flex Express tour will tend to put hairs on your chest, and whilst Boucher describes the experience as one of the highlights of her year "I was pretty stoked for most of that..." she’s equally thankful for the close relationships she’s been able to develop with her peers: “I love Elite Gymnastics and Doldrums because they are both really smart, but are ultimately dedicated to working on music that is very satisfying/gratifying on a gut level, and I think when you get experimental musicians with pop sensibilities that’s what moves music forward.”

This marriage of experimental impulses and spellbinding hooks lies at the heart of Boucher’s own music, and some eight months after its release, Visions has lost none of its ability to hypnotise. If anything, The Skinny has only grown more enamoured of its numinous grace; each

successive spin of tracks like Colour of Moonlight or Symphonia IX (which on first listen felt like weak points) unspooling a fractal filigree of ever more luxurious detail. Like her 4AD forerunner Liz Fraser, Boucher is capable of wielding her voice as both an instrument of immediate pleasure and as a channel for occult fascination; her effortless movement between these poles creating a singular magnetism that is as seductive as it is exhilarating.

Never one to rest on her laurels, Boucher is using her tinnitus-related downtime to (quietly) record vocal parts for her next release which she anticipates will see the light of day “probably next summer, or if not then September.”

Although Boucher’s achievement on Visions is all the more impressive in light of her limited means at the time (“a lot of the best art comes out of not having all the options in the world - using Garageband provided me with that because I was forced to be really inventive to make shit happen,” she told us in February), having since upgraded to Logic, Boucher seems to hold no qualms about rethinking her sound: “[My next LP] will be more ‘songwriting oriented’ in that there’s more cohesive structure and I’m working on lyrics. The production is way better and the beats are more intense and more industrial.

The vocals are more up-front and clearer. So it’s simultaneously more experimental and aggressive than Visions, but also more pop. It’s just better all around, really.”

Given Boucher’s abiding fascination with medieval mystic Hildegard of Bingen, we asked her to break out her own crystal ball and give us some predictions for music in 2013: “Country music is going to become critically viable, and by critically I mean in a traditionally noncountry, ‘Pitchfork’ type of sphere. You already see it with Lana Del Rey totally ripping Wicked Game-era Chris Isaak. Artists like Taylor Swift are getting way more mainstream and moving out of being just ‘country mainstream.’ Other things should be popular like Russian avant-garde and French avant-garde references both visually and intellectually. I think Stravinksy is cool and ballet should be adopted more into experimental music. I think reading will be cool again; things that require skill-honing, that can’t just be Tumblr memes because you actually need to develop a skill set to execute them. Like, subtle literary references to things you can’t find on Wikipedia. I also think the next Yamantaka // Sonic Titan record is going to be massive. “ And what does she envision her own future might hold?

“I want to fly a plane; direct videos; read everything Nabokov has ever written; collaborate with people I admire; and make art that is the best work I have ever done.”

Eyes to the skies, motherfuckers.

[Mark Shukla] www.4ad.com/artists/grimes

The Barrel Tree in Lynchburg, Tennessee. All 140 barrels of it.

THIS YEAR, THE BIGGEST GIFT ISN’T UNDER THE TREE. IT IS THE TREE. This holiday season, with the raising of our Barrel Tree in Lynchburg, Tennessee, we’re pleased to announce the raising of a second Barrel Tree in Covent Garden, London. So if you can’t make it to Lynchburg during the holidays, there’s a Barrel Tree a little closer to home. It’s our way of saying “Happy Holidays.” And remember, it’s not what’s under the tree that matters.

It’s who’s around it.

Come celebrate with us.

See the raising of the Barrel Tree at facebook.com/jackdanielsUK or jackdaniels.com J A C K D A N I E L’ S

TENNESSEE WHISKEY

It ain’t called sippin’ whiskey for nothing. Please drink responsibly. ©2012 Jack Daniel’s. All rights reserved. JACK DANIEL’S and OLD NO. 7 are registered trademarks.

SUB C LU B F E S T I V E LINE -UP F R I 21 : S AT 2 2 : S U N 23 : W E D 26 : T HU 27 : F RI 28 : S AT 29 : SUN 30: M O N 31 : T UE S 1 :

SENSU : RESET SUBCULTURE : H&D+MANO LE TOUGH LET YOUR ELF GO! OPTIMO BOXING DAY SPECIAL ANIMAL FARM : BEN KLOCK SUB CLUB 25 : EATS EVERYTHING SUBCULTURE : H&D+DERRICK CARTER GRAEME PARK’S CHRISTMAS CRACKER SUBCULTURE : THE ‘25 YEAR’ NYE PARTY SENSU V SUNDAY CIRCUS : THE AFTERMATH A D V A N C E T I C K E T S A V A I L A B L E : R E S I D E N TA D V I S O R . N E T / S U B C L U B & T I C K E T S S C OT L A N D M O R E I N F O : S U B C L U B . C O . U K & FA C E B O O K . C O M / S U B C L U B

F E A T U RE S

photo: gemma burke

2. Django Django (Because Music) From relative obscurity to lauded Mercury Prize nominees – via the unconventional route of FIFA International Soccer – Dave Maclean of Django Django looks back on his band’s whirlwind year

1. The Money Store (Epic) Amid a howling storm of hypertext hype, copyright controversy and multimedia performance art excess, Death Grips emerged into the mainstream to produce The Skinny’s Album of the Year Without a doubt, 2012’s musical landscape was dominated by one band – hailing from Sacramento, California, and trading in a feral, cathartic, punk-infused cocktail of hip-hop and electronica, Death Grips completely redefined the power and relevance of rap for the twenty-first century. Releasing two albums amid a storm of internet hype, punishing and euphoric live shows, industry rumours and transmedia terrorism, the band reinvented The Great Rock & Roll Swindle as an ongoing act of anti-corporate protest, signing to Epic Records early in the year for a considerable sum, recording an album, and then releasing it for free on the internet with a cover showing drummer Zach Hill’s erect penis, with the title – No Love Deep Web – scrawled across it in Sharpie.

A great many column inches and web pages have been devoted to discussing the facts and fictions surrounding the leaking of No Love Deep Web. Whether the stunt was an elaborate act of copyright-busting performance art, a cynical marketing ploy, or the single most virulent expression of punk ethics witnessed in the music industry so far this century is still up for debate. When we spoke to Zach Hill in May, he talked of the band’s commitment to giving away music for free online, with hopes of “rubbing off [their] ideology” on Epic. He insisted that for Death Grips, the Epic deal was a theatrical move: “That whole exchange, that whole interaction – it was performance art.

That’s what it was, and that’s what it still is.”

Whether the subsequent leak and legal squabbles were a planned or improvised part of that performance is moot.

Recently, the band’s Twitter has gone dark, along with many of the traditional routes used by journalists to gain access to the band. And yet, they are still engaged in a world-wide tour, recently slaying a packed crowd at The Forum in London, apparently sans producer / keyboardist Flatlander.

Whether the band can survive in their current form remains to be seen, but what cannot be doubted is that with both the unhinged, brutal No Love Deep Web, and the more commercially-appealing, hook-driven album The Money Store, Death Grips claimed 2012 more convincingly than any other band.

From the Salt ‘N’ Pepa-riffing punk-funk of I’ve Seen Footage, to the urgent post-industrial dubstep of Get Got, to the flat-out sonic and lyrical aggression of Hustle Bones, The Money Store had something for everyone. The aforementioned catharsis of a band driven by Hill’s scattershot, drum-destroying hardcore flourishes and MC Ride’s deliciously abstract, occult-influenced vocal missives, sounding increasingly like a man on the verge of a serious and violent mental blowout, lured in the headbanger contingent. Flatlander’s ‘musique concrete’ pilfering from dubstep, juke, techno, crunk and bubblegum pop drew effusive praise from lovers of avant-garde electronica and out-and-out brostep alike. For a moment, after the release of The Money Store and before the grand guignol internet drama of No Love Deep Web, it looked very much like Death Grips were set to conquer both the mainstream and the underground, while redefining the boundaries and purpose of the traditional music industry at large.

Revisiting The Money Store, it seems significant that the band were so focused on creating infectious, ear-worm pop tracks to underpin their heavy, often pitch-dark themes and intense live shows.

Hill clued us in to one of Death Grips’ secrets, in terms of production: “We often make music out of material that other people wouldn’t think to use,” he told The Skinny. “Like for instance we might take a sample from YouTube and then build a whole song around it with these more hi-fi instruments, and then erase the sample from YouTube so it’s not even in the track.”

Notions of property, theft and influence are central to an understanding of the band’s sound – their justly-lauded debut Exmilitary, which made our Albums of the Year chart in 2011, was packed with riffs and samples from Dick Dale, Jane’s Addiction, David Bowie and the Pet Shop Boys. While The Money Store is largely free of samples, it nonetheless bears the trace of a band composed of omnivorous, questing musical intelligences, cutting

For a nation perceived as being scabrous, angry and dour, Scotland has provided more than its fair share of upbeat, psychedelic, wonk-pop bands over the years. From the troubadour experimentations of Alex Harvey right through to the more recent sonic adventures of FOUND or The Phantom Band, there’s certainly something of a rich tapestry threaded throughout the more common perception of the perpetually miserable Scottish musical landscape.

Enter Django Django then, a quartet of one-time Edinburgh art students who had been bubbling under the local scene for some time when their eponymous debut album finally landed this year. Flowing with pulsing electro stabs, woozy, dustbowl guitar flourishes and soaring melodic harmonies, it’s a record as inventive as it is invigorating, adding to our notable lineage of experimental pop exponents.

It’s of little surprise then that it floated our particular boat, but what few predicted was how well it would be received by the wider world. Cited as ‘next-big-thing, media-darlings’ across much of the alternative music press, the juggernaut of hype eventually culminated with a richly-deserved, if somewhat surprising, Mercury nomination.

They of course lost out to Alt-J but the prestige and exposure was victory enough for the hitherto unknown group of friends.

“To be honest, we’ve not really noticed

and pasting and re-contextualising anything and everything that comes their way, from disposable pop dreck to full-on avant garde noise.

By turns exuberant, bleak and devastatingly inventive, it is perhaps less of a record of extremes than the more confrontational No love Deep Web, but nonetheless will stand as a thrillingly wellconstructed opening salvo from a band preparing to leave behind their net-culture roots and take on the stadiums, concert halls and music festivals of the world. One thing’s for sure – if Death Grips can continue their epic (natch) rise and rise, they seem likely to dominate much of next year, and years to come, with their densely literate, futurist,

anything,” claims drummer and producer Dave Maclean of the increased media spotlight. “Most of the press was done when the LP came out and we’ve been a band on the road since, so it’s not seemed too crazy for us lately.” To add to the plaudits, we inform Dave that Django Django is our second favourite album of the year. “Thank you The Skinny! We’d been away for a bit so we weren’t sure if anyone would care, but all the great reviews and award nominations make us feel like it’s all been worthwhile.”

Another notable aspect of the band’s meteoric rise, and perhaps a sign of the times, is the exposure they’ve received from more unconventional outlets.

Keen-eared fans will have no doubt heard the likes of Hail Bop and Default sound-tracking various TV spots whilst Firewater was used in the film Rust and Bone. “TV is a funny one because more often than not you don’t get asked or paid,” says Dave. “So people might think we’re whoring ourselves to the box for a splash o’ cash, but it’s really out of our control.”

They are, however, not averse to keeping the band afloat when the right deal does come along. “We did a FIFA game recently because we’re all fans of the series,” admits Dave. “Since Hail Bop got used, the YouTube comments are all FIFA chat, which is funny.

It’s cool to be discovered through fans of the game who otherwise might never have come across us.”

It’s this progressive attitude, which characterises their debut album, that has helped engender the group to both the guarded musical intelligentsia and the ‘common’ music fan. Wherever you lay your hat though, Django Django were undoubtedly a musical highlight of the year, and much like the album’s cover, a strange, unidentifiable but beautiful creature in a sometimes barren musical landscape.

[Darren Carle] www.djangodjango.co.uk

post-everything assault on popular music.

Hill sums up the band’s untouchable relevance and importance to the musical culture of 2012: “Tent cities... homelessness and poverty and violence, the crash of the American dollar – all those things that seem to be coming... we see that every day, where we live... We feel a kind of energy from it. There are going to be times ahead – very soon I think – where things are going to look a lot different than they do now. That gets naturally integrated into our music.... our music represents that.” If 2012 really is the end of the world, Death Grips are the perfect soundtrack. Bram E. Gieben] thirdworlds.net

December 2012

THE SKINNY 15

fi lm PHOTO: CHRIS SCOTT

JACOB BIRGE JACOB BIRGE Vision is a forward thinking fashion brand specialising in high-end, modern womenswear and accessories using hi- tech fabrics and unconventional materials. The brand combines fashion with varied media such as sound design, visual installations and fashion movies in order to present a clear and personal vision.

Designer Jacob Birge says, “Having my own fashion brand was a childhood dream. I have a science, business, and fashion background which provided a lot of knowledge and perspective for running my own business. The business has positive aspects such as creative freedom and the opportunity to create personal designs, but there are also drawbacks like working 24/7 and being in many edgy situations.

“I applied for Starter for 6 last January, and participated in the programme in March with four training sessions where I developed my idea and refined my business plan. Mixing with people who were about to set up their own businesses was an amazing experience – we all had similar challenges, difficulties and concerns, so exchanging information and sharing advice was a great learning process. Going through all the parts of the business plan helped me to create the most realistic scenario, work out the cash flow and plan the tasks for the next 12 months. Support from the Starter for 6 crew was also very valuable for my professional development.

“My plan is to showcase my new Autumn Winter 2013-14 collection during London Fashion Week in February 2013. Starter for 6 funds enabled me to cover the cost of the show and PR costs, which are a substantial part of the developing business in the early stage. I would like to develop strong collaborations with manufacturers and retailers and have at least five stockists by the next season.

By the beginning of December I would also like to release a music album with tracks related to a graduate collection called Symmetric Strategy S/S 2013, where the same mathematical equations has been used to generate the sound.

“I would definitely recommend the Starter for 6 programme to anyone with a creative innovative idea. I believe that in this difficult economy the only way to make a living out of your passions and qualifications is to create something by yourself, not to wait for some big name to call you – they will not. The programme is a great opportunity to meet interesting people, with similar passions, to connect with them and build something together.

The fund allows the strategic investments needed to take a step forward with your business.”

STARTER FOR 6 IS SCOTLAND’S PREMIER START-UP AND INVESTMENT PROGRAMME FOR CREATIVE INDUSTRY ENTREPRENEURS. APPLICATIONS FOR THE NEXT ROUND OF STARTER FOR 6 ARE OPEN AND CLOSE ON MONDAY 10 DECEMBER 2012. WWW. CULTURALENTERPRISEOFFICE.CO.UK/STARTERFOR6

16 THE SKINNY

DECEMBER 2012

A GUN FOR GEORGE

BRIEF ENCOUNTERS: THE JOY OF SIX INTERVIEW: JAMIE DUNN

ANYONE WHO’S recently ventured to a short film festival worth its salt will know that some of the most daring cinema being made in the UK right now barely lasts the time it takes to hard boil an egg. The question is, where to see these shorts?

After their tour of festivals they might find their way online, but how can they compete when they’re up against videos of sneezing kittens?

New British Cinema Quarterly has a nifty solution.

It’s packaged six shorts into one feature-length programme, which is being screened to audiences across the UK. “I think it’s great that someone can come to the cinema and spend the time in which they would normally see one film watching six distinct narratives, genres and visions,” says Dan Sully, the director of The Ellington Kid, one of the films in the collection, cheekily titled The Joy of Six. Will Jewell, director of Man in Fear, another in The Joy of Six’s sestet, is equally enthusiastic about the venture, but admits to some initial trepidation. “If your short is screened at a festival in the company of films that are completely different I think it can often harm it,” Jewell tells me, “so when I actually saw all six of them together for the first time the other week I was definitely relieved – there’s diversity there but they really complement each other.”

The Ellington Kid, which sees a mouthy London lad (Charlie G. Hawkins) relaying news of a neighbourhood stabbing to his credulous pal (Hammed Animashaun) over a kebab, begins with the intriguing disclaimer: based on a true story... (kind of). “I was making a music video for an artist who lived on what they used to call ‘Murder Mile’ – the Lower Clapton Road in Hackney,” Sully recalls.

“I remember him telling me this story as if it was a true story that happened to a friend of his. That’s where the ‘true story’ bit comes from. The ‘kind of’ bit comes from the fact that, in retrospect, it’s an obvious urban myth. I guess I thought it was funny to start with boards that weren’t even sure whether it was a true story or not, and also it’s a small nod to the beginning of Fargo.”

Jewell’s film also feels like a slice of urban folklore.

Playing off the disparate energies of a jittery journalist (Luke Treadaway), who’s investigating a

performance artist whom he also suspects of being a serial killer, and the no-nonsense copper (Timothy Healy) he comes to for help, it blends a Hitchcockian man in peril tale with a Final Destination-like sense of impending doom. “I made a documentary about the underground hip-hop scene in Brighton and I spent a lot of time filming graffiti artists and train painters,” Jewell explains when I ask about his film’s juicy premise. “It kind of got me thinking: they’re out risking court injunctions and getting killed by trains to make their art, and that seed made me think of the lengths people go to to create art. I’d also written a script a few years earlier that had a character in it who was a hitman who made his hits look like accidents and there was a light bulb moment when the two slammed together.”

Both films share a noirish vision of Blighty, but differ in their forms. Sully’s effort is the perfect short; fat-free at only four minutes, it could only exist in this genre. “At first I was slightly disappointed and worried that people might think the film slight or insubstantial but the truth is that most people I show it to really like the short length. The content fits the form in this case. It’s a punchline film really so it’s all about the set up and then the delivery of that punchline. Anything more than four minutes would have been indulgent I think.”

Man in Fear, meanwhile, is crying out to be expanded upon. “I wrote the feature script first,” Jewell tells me, “but trying to get it off the ground was tricky. When I got the opportunity to make a short I thought, ‘Right, I’m not going to make any old short, I’m going to make a window into the world of the picture to help get it off the ground.’ ” So can we expect a Man in Fear feature anytime soon?

“We’re basically out looking for funding for a feature now,” says Jewell. “The challenge, if we ever got to do the feature, is to keep the same cast, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

NBCQ’S THE JOY OF SIX PROGRAMME SCREENS AT FILMHOUSE IN EDINBURGH 13 DEC, 6.10PM. THE SCREENING WILL BE FOLLOWED

BY A Q&A WITH DAN SULLY, DIRECTOR OF THE ELLINGTON KID WWW.NBCQ.CO.UK

LIGHT AND SHADE

1. THE RAID Dir: (Gareth Evans) Vice-like expectation is nuanced only by punishing adrenalin in Gareth Evans’ Indonesian actioner The Raid. Rookie cop Rama (Iko Uwais), is deployed with a special task force to purge a towering Dante’s inferno of drug fiends and wastrels keen to retaliate with bludgeons, blades and automatic weapons. Soon guns are tossed in favour of martial art Silat, a bullet-fast onslaught of fists, joints, feet, sticks and knives. Shots switch with blows; the camera swerves to the action. Mike Shinoda’s soundtrack adds resonance to the knuckle-mashing turbo-violence. With a million-dollar budget The Raid grips you by the throat, slams you into your seat and boots you in the guts. Make it out alive, and your expectations of action cinema, if not a few ribs, will be irretrievably shattered. [Kirsty Leckie-Palmer]

It’s that time of year again, where we filter the past twelve months of cinema into an undiluted list of brilliance. Whatever your movie tastes, be it martial arts smackdowns or hallucinatory art-house mind-benders, THE BEST FILMS OF 2012 has you covered WORDS: CHRIS BUCKLE, PHILIP CONCANNON, JAMIE DUNN, CHRIS FYVIE, KIRSTY LECKIEPALMER, JOHN NUGENT, AND HELEN WRIGHT

2. TABU Dir: (Miguel Gomes) Months after its release, Tabu nestles in the cerebrum not as a dazzling, enigmatic whole (which it undoubtedly is), but as a series of indelible images: a glassy-eyed crocodile submerged in still waters; a solitary woman transfixed by flickering celluloid; a colonial explorer shadowed by a spectre. With these images come echoes of its soundtrack, particularly the erudite voiceover that extends throughout the second half, silencing dialogue and fostering a disconcerting nonpareil tone. Memory, with its mysteries and vagaries, proves Tabu’s natural habitat, the power of these fragments corroborated by a narrative steeped in romance and nostalgia. Formally audacious and thematically opulent, Tabu is a treasure trove to be pored over.

[Chris Buckle]

3. MOONRISE KINGDOM Dir: (Wes Anderson) So recognisable are his films these days that Wes Anderson has inspired his own bingo card: for Moonrise Kingdom, you could comfortably tick off ‘Vintage Glasses,’ ‘Yellow Titles,’ ‘Symmetrical Framing’ and ‘Bill Murray.’ Eight films in, Anderson shows little desire to stray from a well-honed formula. Yet this is arguably the director’s most satisfying outing to date, and the first since Rushmore to decisively match narrative substance with his well-honed stylistic hallmarks. Beneath the usual forensic neatness lurks a sweet and simple love story between two rebellious pre-teens absconding to the wild; a faultless cast of idiosyncratic grown-ups (Edward Norton and a bespectacled Bruce Willis the stand outs) prop them up. Quite simply, it’s a joy. [John Nugent]

4. LOOPER Dir: (Rian Johnson) It’s 2044 and Joe (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is a contract killer, or ‘looper,’ with a blunderbuss and a penchant for imbibing liquid narcotics via his baffling CGI-eyeballs. Anonymous marks are blasted back from the future for Joe to dispatch on a remote highway for clunky silver bars. But to every looper comes the day they must destroy all evidence of their shady existence, assassinating their future self.

Unfortunately, Joe’s future self looks a lot like notoriously resilient Bruce Willis. At which point quantum annihilation gets complex. Slick, strange and totally unexpected, Rian Johnson’s mind-bending scithriller is frequently redolent of Fincher and Nolan, gaining illogical ends through little more than searing conviction, nuanced action and a hunger for originality that transcends disbelief. [KL-P]

5. ABOUT ELLY Dir: (Asghar Farhadi) Someone give Iranian director Asghar Farhadi a Blue Peter badge!

After bestowing us with one of the films of 2011 (A Separation) he’s pulled off the same trick this year by releasing one he made earlier: 2009’s About Elly. But there’s a lot more holding this elegant tale together than sticky-backed plastic. A group of friends are holidaying at a rustic beachside villa – they eat, they laugh, they dance, their children play in the surf. Then tragedy strikes... at least we think it does. Like A Separation this is a nerve shredding thriller disguised as a humanist drama that’s as mysterious as Antonioni and as taut as Hitchcock. Everyone loves a whodunit, but Farhadi has mastered his own new sub-genre: the whathappened. [Jamie Dunn]

6. THE TURIN HORSE Dir: (Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky) Béla Tarr has announced that The Turin Horse will be the last film he ever makes, and it certainly feels like a definitive statement. A sense of impending doom permeates every frame of this absorbing picture, as a father and daughter living in a remote wooden cabin spend a few final days together before darkness falls on the world. Tarr’s long, beautifully composed takes and the brilliantly achieved sound design ensure the film retains a vice-like grip from its stunning opening image to the understated, compassionate ending. Perhaps this is how the world will end; not with a bang, but with a quiet howl of despair.

[Philip Concannon]

7. THIS IS NOT A FILM Dir: (Mojtaba Mirtahmasb, Jafar Panahi) Hell for a filmmaker is being banned from your craft, a punishment inflicted by the Iranian government on Jafar Panahi, whose output sails too close to political critique for their liking. Under house arrest, facing a six year jail term and a twenty-year ban on directing movies, This Is Not a Film is the artist’s sarcastic but impassioned response.

Smuggled out of the country in a cake, it consists of digital footage of Panahi’s frustrating apartment-bound existence. At one point, he maps out a scene from a planned work on his living room carpet, breaking down in tears at its unrealisability. This is a film that represents defiance and a dignified riposte to censorship of artistic expression. [Helen Wright]

8. THE KID WITH A BIKE Dir: (Jean-Pierre Dardenne, Luc Dardenne) Warming hearts and rending them in equal measures, The Kid with a Bike’s impactful drama is built on small moments and big gestures. The latter comes from the virtuous Samantha (Cécile de France) and her selfless decision to foster ten-year-old Cyril (Thomas Doret), weathering the young boy’s storm of emotions – anger, sadness, confusion – in the hope of easing his pain. The former, meanwhile, signifies the storytelling prowess of the film’s creators Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne, who craft their latest neorealist masterpiece from little details: a collision between two strangers; a frustrated outburst; a thrown stone. The results are acutely poignant, with an all-too-rare optimism and a finely felt sense of compassion. [CB]

9. THE MASTER Dir: (Paul Thomas Anderson) Certainties in life: death, taxes… and Paul Thomas Anderson bothering critics’ top ten lists. The story of Joaquin Phoenix’s pitiful itinerant booze-hound seduction by, and ultimate frustration with, Philip Seymour Hoffman’s L. Ron Hubbard-like svengali compels; the technique with which this story is told astounds. Despair, displacement and manipulation are expertly evoked through the veil of Scientology exposé. The ethereal beauty of the frame haunts in accompaniment with Jonny Greenwood’s erratic score. Phoenix – his gait seemingly the result of his character’s homemade, rocket-fuel hooch having shrunk his skin – and the louche Hoffman produce furious, dominant performances. A tale of two men who simply can’t control themselves, The Master is pure cinema from a filmmaker who very much can. [Chris Fyvie]

10. HOLY MOTORS Dir: (Leos Carax) You may love Holy Motors or you may hate it, but you’ve certainly never seen anything like it. Leos Carax’s film is a surreal Parisian odyssey in which the limousine-dwelling Monsieur Oscar (Denis Lavant) assumes various roles and plays out little vignettes for reasons that are never fully explained. Alternating between moments of lunatic excess and touching melancholic interludes, Holy Motors is an impossible film to pin down, but even if its ultimate meaning remains elusive, the boundless inventiveness and energy exhibited by Carax and the astounding Lavant makes this an exhilarating cinematic experience. It also boasts an entr’acte that may be the single best moment from this year’s cinema. [PC]

DECEMBER 2012

THE SKINNY 17

The Bells, The bells

clubs

Nobody parties like us Scots at Hogmanay. Nobody. We dance faster, drink longer and kiss more people than any other national or international group on New Year’s Eve. Wondering where to go and what to do? Here’s our guide! words: Bram E. Gieben

Hogmanay’s roots go deep into Scottish history and culture – whether we’re burning great big muckle ‘hings in honour of Norse gods, bringing each other lumps of coal and flasks of whisky, or, as is now traditional, getting off our mash and dancing around in the freezing cold to either an 80s revival act or an international superstar DJ, the Scots know how to have a good time at New Year. We basically invented it – Auld Lang Syne is ours; we (probably) invented whisky; even New York’’s famous Times Square ball drop pales in comparison to the fireworks display in Edinburgh (we probably invented fireworks, too). In short, if you’re reading this, you’re in the world’s best place to celebrate the end of one year and the start of another with a fling, a stramash, or possibly even a hootenanny. But where to go? That’s the big question. Let The Skinny lay out the options for you – whether you want to end up a gurning mess, hopelessly drunk, or fresh-faced and fit as a fiddle to see in 2013, we’ve got the gig for you.

The Pagan roots of both Hogmanay and the Winter Solstice, officially jacked by the church and re-branded as ‘Christmas’ – a lesser celebration involving turkeys and presents, certainly less worthy of your attention – are still visible in many Scottish communities. In Shetland, the festival known as Up Helly Aa (29 Dec, Shetland Islands, www,uphellyaa.org) culminates in the burning of a replica Viking longship. In a similarly explosive ritual, the residents of Stonehaven wave massive fireballs about the shop on Hogmanay (31 Dec, Stonehaven, www.stonehavenfireballs.co.uk) in a ceremony that stretches back a hundred years or more. Even less well-explained is the customary Burning of the Clavie, which takes place in Burghead in early January (11 Jan), where locals elect a ‘King Clavie’ who leads a procession around town with a burning barrel of wood and tar. Reports that they leave ‘burning faggots’ on the doorsteps of local residents ‘for good luck’ could be easily misinterpreted, so we’ll clarify – they mean peat, not Pete. Actual violence is more likely to be found on the mean streets of Kirkwall in Orkney, where a prototypical form of football is played. The Ba’, as it is known, involves two teams of opposing locals, the Uppies and the Doonies, battering the living shit out of each other in order to gain possession of the fabled Ba’ and bring it home to their side of the town. The Ba’ has been played on New Year’s Day or the second of January for hundreds of years, and beats football hands down as a contact sport, and as a spectacle (www.bagame.com).

If merely staring at pituitary mutants punching each other in the face and watching stuff burn isn’t enough excitement for you, then there are always explosives – by which we mean the mother of all Scottish Hogmanay bashes: Edinburgh’s Hogmanay Street Party. A decade or so ago, Edinburgh’s celebration was a free-for-all, with bands and DJs playing at the foot of the Mound, revellers gathering at the Tron Kirk at midnight, and no small amount of over-crowding. Nowadays, it’s a more corporate affair, ticketed, and attracts huge numbers of visitors from overseas along with the booze-crazed locals.

The highlights of this year’s Edinburgh Hogmanay include Simple Minds headlining the Concert In the Gardens (£37.50), so if you’re hanging out with your Dad, that’s the entertainment sorted.

Support comes from indie darlings The View, and afrobeat funsters Bwani Junction. Eyes on the Hogmanay website (www.edinburghshogmanay. org) for more acts, to be announced. If you’re up for something a bit more raucous, rejoin the body of the kirk on Princes Street for REW1ND3R, which will see the whole street transformed into a massive rave, with the ominous prospect of a spinning ‘wheel of requests’ which will rewind

18 THE SKINNY

December 2012

illustration: nicholas stevenson

drunken punters through dancefloor 'classics' of the last few decades. The Waverley Stage also includes performances from Admiral Fallow, The Maccabees, Reverend and The Makers, Lau and a slew of other local faces. Tickets are £15. It should also be mentioned that none of the above will be half as impressive as the fireworks, which detonate on the bells. If you like explosions, you’ll love this.

“A plethora of activities and opportunities for hedonists, heathens, holiday-makers and hellraisers” Another party happening in Edinburgh on Hogmanay will take place in The Tron Kirk, which is super-special simply because that is the place where Edinburgh’s world-famous Hogmanay started. Drambuie are sponsoring an event which will see the Tron transformed into a high-end nightspot for the evening, with sets from Ultragroove main man Gareth Sommerville, who regular Edinburgh Hogmanay clubbers will recognise as a mainstay of the capital’s New Year parties, alongside the LuckyMe crew, who will be bringing bass madness and hip-hop style to the fore with sets from Eclair FiFi, The Blessings and S-Type.

There are also mixology masterclasses for cocktail fans, and projections of video art by local artists.

And at a tenner, it’s five pounds cheaper than the street party. Alternamental!

Elsewhere in Edinburgh’s clubland, you’ll find events by promoters such as Musika, who are joined by Joris Voorn and Derrick Carter among others (The Liquid Room, £22.50), and Dr No’s, who will be pumping out the ska, reggae and rocksteady all night long (Henry’s Cellar Bar, £8). Or there’s the terrifyingly vague Winter Wonderland Snow Party (The Hive, £10), promising electro, indie and, unfortunately, requests. Over at The

Counting House and The Blind Poet, there’s an epic gig happening with music from ska-heads Big Fat Panda and Victorian Trout Conspiracy and friends (£15). Vegas are at The Voodoo Rooms, doing their big band burlesque thing (£25), and The Caves host the rather wonderful Wee Dub Hogmanay, with Riddim Tuffa and Radikal Guru (£18). Excitingly, much-missed bass-loving scamps Volume! are back for one night only at The Newsroom, with DJs Termite, DFRNT and Kidill for a measly fiver. Balkanarama take over Studio 24 for the usual bout of live music, dancing and free plum brandy (£15). Last but not least, The Bongo Club bids a fond farewell to its Holyrood Road home with a bash featuring DJs from Four Corners, Headspin and more (£10). All of these nights run late, too – check listings for details.

Despite their 2011 street party being cancelled due to a lack of funds, and this year’s Christmas and New Year’s celebrations in George Square being fairly kiddy-oriented for the most part, Glasgow’s got a ton of events happening. If you absolutely insist on being outside, check out the Ashton Lane Street Party, with special guest Sketch, plus DJs, live bands, street performers, and more bespectacled hipsters than you could possibly shake a stick at (£25).

If however you’d rather be in a nice, warm, sweaty club like a normal sane person, then you’re spoiled for choice. Optimo are at The Glue Factory, a rare chance to see Twitch and Wilkes do their eclectic thing in a massive warehouse space (£20). Pi-Eyed have got bass warrior Taz Buckfaster and Bangface sonic terrorist Hard Crew Hero at Audio – and it’s free, a proper rarity for Hogmanay parties. The Buff Club’s devoted and faithful punters, who basically go there because it’s inherently awesome, will be enjoying a bash that spills out onto Bath Street, and promises a piper along with the DJs (£10). Over at Bloc, we are promised a mixture of extreme sports and ‘rhythm, sound and vision’ from the Shaka crew – and blimey, it’s free as well! The everything-goesas-long-as-it’s-good policy of Glasgow clubbing institution Melting Pot will serve you well at The Admiral, with the residents joined by house music duo 6th Borough Project (£10). La Cheetah hosts

Vitamins and other local DJs, plus Detroit techno legend Terrence Parker (£15). The Sub Club have also got a bash on, details of which are sketchy as we go to print, but it’s the Subby, so you can expect something special regardless.

If you fancy an earlier finish and mellower music, why not head to the Fence Records bash at Mono (£12) where The Pictish Trail will be joined by a host of other guitar-wranglers. Another civilised-sounding bash is the party at Cottiers, which sees in the New Year with a ceilidh and dinner (£65, www.cottiers.com/hogmanay). The king of this particular Hogmanay hill of beans has got to be Club Noir, who take over the Classic Grand for an evening of fancy-dress debauchery and burlesque (£20).

Of course, Edinburgh and Glasgow don’t corner the market in Hogmanay celebrations. Dundee has the Mashed Up Nights party, with a whole host of local DJs (Soul Club, £7), and Stirling’s Hogmanay celebrations include traditional music, fireworks and a family-friendly atmosphere. On New Year’s Day, there’s a party at the Ben Nevis Centre with music from Skerryvore and Mandarin (£15, www.neviscentre.co.uk/2013/01/newyears-day-show), which you could enjoy after a nice bracing walk up a freezing cold mountainside.

And back in Edinburgh on New Year’s Day, there are a host of traditional, weird and wonderful happenings. The annual Loony Dook (www. theloonydook.co.uk) sees people braving the Arctic temperatures of the Firth of Forth, because, well, because they can, that’s why. Apparently the cold water cures hangovers. Sports fans recreate primary school sports days and indulge in a serious bout of finding out who’s fastest at the New Year’s Day Triathlon (www.edinburghshogmanay. com/content/New-Year’s-Day-Triathlon/1733) or the New Year Sprint (www.sportingworld.co.uk/ newyearsprint), while dog lovers can show off their pooches and watch Huskie races at Dogmanay, in Holyrood Park.

So there you have it – a plethora of activities and opportunities for hedonists, heathens, holidaymakers and hellraisers. Whatever you end up doing, play safe, and don’t forget your whisky! See you on the other side...

Available Online, in 18 Swatch stores including Edinburgh, Glasgow and Aberdeen. shop.swatch.co.uk

Christmas Slay

film

With the high street a cacophony of Jingle Bells covers and TV a vomit of Xmas specials, this month’s re-release of Gremlins offers 100 minutes of anarchic respite from the insanity of the season. The Skinny spoke to its director, Joe Dante interview: Jamie Dunn

Picture the scene. It’s Christmas Eve. A fresh dusting of snow has turned the quaint, picket fence-lined streets of Kingston Falls into a living snowglobe. In the largest home in town a miserly property tycoon, Mrs Deagle (Polly Holliday), spends the holiday alone with only her cats for company. As she settles in for a lonely night she hears the sweet sound of Christmas carolers at her front door. Perhaps this is the moment in the picture where the scrooge will realise the error of her ways? Will the sight of these angelic singers warm her heart? Will she have the standard issue epiphany that ‘tis a time for giving?

In any other toothache-inducing Christmas confection it would, but this scene is from 1984’s Gremlins, the comedy-horror masterpiece from Hollywood’s anarchic jester Joe Dante (The Howling, The ‘Burbs, Matinee), and those carolers are the film’s eponymous knee-high monsters. With hairdos and attitudes like punk rockers, the gremlins drink beer, blow their noses on the curtains, drive snow plows through walls without a license and turn this sleepy suburb into party central. Mrs Deagle’s fate? She gets propelled at breakneck speed out of her third floor window after one of the creatures turbocharges her Stannah Stairlift.

Gremlins returns to UK cinemas this month thanks to a re-release by Park Circus, but it feels like it’s never been away. Not only is Dante’s movie still influencing filmmakers – Tim Burton recently paid homage by incorporating some gremlin-like reanimated Sea-Monkeys into Frankenweenie – it continues to appear on TV schedules every December, adding some much needed spice to a month of insipid Christmas programming. Is this the secret of its longevity, its irreverent attitude to the season to be jolly? “It does start out as a kind of regular Christmas movie,” Dante tells me by phone from his office in Los Angeles. “It’s got the fake snow, and it’s filmed on a little back lot, and everybody’s fairly cheery and nice, and then, of course, there’s this dark undertone that creeps out. It begins like It’s a Wonderful Life but ends like

20 THE SKINNY

December 2012

illustration: fraser douglas

The Birds.”

Dante is the master of this type of subversion.

In fact, the gremlins make a neat metaphor for the 65-year-old director’s filmmaking MO. These rambunctious reptiles start life as an adorable ball of fur called Gizmo, a mogwai, who’s so sickeningly cute that you wouldn’t want to hug him for fear of squeezing him to death. Dante’s films also appear to have soft exteriors but they soon reveal their spikier core. Take 1998’s Small Soldiers, for example, which was dismissed on its release by shortsighted critics as being little more than a live action rip-off of Toy Story. But you don’t need to look too hard to see that this family film about a militarised franchise of GI Joe-like action figures trying to commit genocide on a peaceful alien toy range is really a trenchant attack on US foreign policy.

The chief satirical target in Gremlins is consumerism. As well as the darkly hilarious demise of Mrs Deagle, the film is scattered with potshots at the Reagan-era American dream. The film begins with crummy inventor Randy Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) surreptitiously purchasing Gizmo from a Chinese antiques dealer, Mr. Wing (Keye Luke), as a Christmas present for his clean-cut teenage son Billy (Zach Galligan). When Billy fails to obey the three cardinal rules of mogwai ownership – keep them out of sunlight, don’t get them wet and, most importantly, never feed them after midnight – Gizmo multiplies into other mogwai that in turn metamorphose into vicious gremlins that proceed to terrorise Christmas. Women, children, dogs, radio DJs, men of the cloth, Dick Miller – no one is spared their rampage. At one point Santa even has his face chewed off. If anyone missed the barbed social commentary amongst the carnage of gremlins being microwaved, decapitated and burned alive, fear not, because Mr. Wing turns up in the film’s coda to take back Gizmo and deliver this stern tongue-lashing: “You do with mogwai what your society has done to all of nature’s gifts.

You do not understand. You are not ready.”

With the western world in the middle of a recession caused by unregulated free-market economics, now is the perfect time to re-embrace Gremlins’ sly critique of unabashed capitalism.

“What goes around comes around,” says Dante with a gentle chuckle. “Christmas has been overcommercialised for years, certainly in this country, and there are subtle messages, and sometimes not so subtle messages, in a lot of my movies. But yes, there is a certain anti-consumerism theme underlying Gremlins, which is much more pronounced in the sequel.”

“The

studios would rather have a movie with no rough edges, that won’t offend anybody and makes as many people happy as possible” joe dante That gonzo sequel, Gremlins 2: The New Batch, didn’t quite fly with audiences the way its predecessor did. Indeed, poor box-office has been, post-Gremlins, the story of Dante’s career, which has resulted in a more sporadic output in recent years. What’s refreshing, however, is that he’s never sold out, and continues to make idiosyncratic movies that bristle with the off-thewall energy of his heroes Chuck Jones and Frank Tashlin. “I have one rule,” he tells me. “I try never to make a movie that I wouldn’t go see, and so if it’s interesting enough to me that’s when I try to make it personal and make it my own.” But Dante has found that in the modern filmmaking culture

this personalisation is increasingly frowned upon.

“The studios would rather have a movie with no rough edges, that won’t offend anybody and makes as many people happy as possible.”

Dante earned his filmmaking stripes making movies that were 99% rough edges, under the tutelage of Roger Corman, as so many of today’s American baby boomer directors (Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, James Cameron, etc.) did. Dante’s first gig with Corman’s New World Pictures was cutting the trailers for its coming attractions, but he soon moved up the exploitation ladder and graduated to director himself, co-helming Hollywood Boulevard in 1976 with Allan Arkush and directing shameless Jaws rip-off Piranha in 1978. Endearingly Dante, unlike most of Corman’s protégés, has never tried to shake off his B-movie beginnings. “That’s because I love those types of movies,” he says. “I’ve studied them, they’re part of the way I think; I never feel I need to ennoble a genre, I just like to work in it.”

Despite remaining the runt of Corman’s movie brat litter in terms of award success, he can certainly stand shoulder to shoulder with his more celebrated alumni when it comes to artistry, as testified by the presence of Gremlins 2 on Slant Magazine’s recent best 100 films of the 90s list. I put it to Dante that his films are so smart it takes audience and critics a while to catch on to their undoubted qualities. “Well gosh, I don’t know,” he says bashfully. “Time will tell. I’m a firm believer that you really can’t tell the worth of a movie the year it’s released because there’s just so many other conflicting factors. Some of our favourite movies, The Wizard of Oz, Touch of Evil, Vertigo even, weren’t revered when they were released and didn’t make any money. Movies have to age a bit, like wine, to see what’s there.”

After 28-years of maturing, I’m pleased to report that Gremlins’ cocktail of social critique, coal black humour and slimy horror is as potent as ever.

Gremlins is rereleased 7 Dec by Park Circus www.parkcircus.com

Tickets on sale from 17 January WWW.GLASGOWFILM.ORG/FESTIVAL

14â&#x2C6;&#x2019;24 FEBRUARY 2013

NEW STRANDS FOR 2013: Game Cats Go Miaow! (gaming strand curated

by Robert Florence of Burnistoun), Buena Onda: New Brazilian Cinema, James Cagney: Top of the World, Ma!

DECEMBER 2012

THE SKINNY 21

Fowl Play

music

Glasgow has long been known for innovative, experimental electronic music, with no shortage of bands and producers.

With a new record on Gold Panda’s Notown label and a host of future projects up his sleeve, Dam Mantle is leading the pack interview: Bram E. Gieben

Since 2009, Tom Marshallsay has been quietly producing diverse, avant-garde dance music, pushing at the boundaries of bass music, house, ambient and techno, edged with dashes of neo-folk guitar, jazz flourishes and post-rock time signatures. With high profile remix work under his belt for the likes of Gold Panda, Gonjasufi, Errors, and more recently for the likes of up-and-coming artists like Aches, Zebra and Snake, and Graphics, he’s an in-demand producer with an ever-evolving style. With previous EPs on labels such as Growing, Creaked and GETME!, including 2010’s First Wave album, he’s back on our radar once more with an eight track album on Gold Panda’s Notown imprint, entitled Brothers Fowl. The album sees Marshallsay embracing a warmer sonic palette, with emphasis on jazzy house on Lifting, and mellow, sun-flecked breaks on the majestic, two-part Canterbury.

“I think it’s definitely warmer, hopefully in a few different ways,” says Marshallsay over a half of ale in Glasgow’s Halt Bar. Outside, the wind and rain have momentarily cleared, allowing a glimpse of blue sky – a fitting moment to discuss the lush, organic sounds on Brothers Fowl. “In the first place, the Dam Mantle project was about wanting to break out of, or challenge what I was originally making music with; traditional rock instruments, folk instruments, basic songwriting structures,” says Marshallsay. “It got to the point where I was making fairly digital, maximal music – which I was enjoying making, and I guess I see those tracks as experiments.”

Where do the jazz textures on the album come from? “I guess it goes back to when I was playing bass guitar, and getting taught jazz bass,” Marshallsay continues. “These influences are from an earlier stage of when I was listening to music – buying less dance music and more second-hand records, hunting things down.” A confirmed vinyl addict, Marshallsay is a big proponent of physical formats over digital: “Physical releases have more longevity.

Apart from putting things on a device to listen to while I walk around the streets, I have to have it off of the computer somehow to really feel that it exists, or that I can enjoy it fully. But that’s just me.”

Does he think vinyl is a viable format for the music industry in the modern era? “It’s a huge fucking debate, talking about vinyl,” he says. “Unless you start melting down records yourself – which is something I really want to do. There’s never been a cutter up here, someone who cuts and presses vinyl. I’d love to be able to do it, starting by melting down old records. Because really, that’s what should be happening. But it’s not that sustainable.

Vinyl’s made of fucking oil, it’s got to be shipped around... it’s expensive. But saying that, people use shitloads of electricity listening to their iPods and charging them every day, so...”

Marshallsay is a GSA graduate – what are his thoughts on the creative community that has flourished for years around the School of Art, sometimes referred to as the ‘Glasgow Miracle’? “The Glasgow Miracle, to me, is kind of a ridiculous concept,” says Marshallsay. “The people around me who are making stuff are doing it because it’s real, they’re just doing it because they are able to do it here. It’s a hands-off attitude – people establishing communities for themselves. Maybe it’s got something to do with rent prices, or the weather – you could speculate on it all day. But I do feel part of a changing community of people making stuff, and of course it’s massively inspiring.”

For Marshallsay however, this DIY spirit and the collaborations which entail are not “site-specific.”

He has spent 2012 working on several forthcoming recordings in cahoots with other players. The first

22 THE SKINNY

December 2012

photography: ross gilmore

We’re working on new tracks – we have a couple of sketches which are just on MPC and reel-toreel, and we’ll be arranging those on a computer and finishing them off.”

Does Marshallsay think his time at the Art School gave him a good mentality for the musical work he does? “It’s definitely shaped how I see things, and how I live,” he says. “Somehow, I was lucky enough to spend three years of my life just hanging out with people, discussing, debating, thinking and making. It’s a real fucking privilege. Even just to come to Glasgow and be surrounded by musicians and artists – it was pretty dope. It’s totally shaped me. That’s the nature of studying art.”

Three years into the project, how does he keep Dam Mantle’s live sets interesting for him as a performer? “The word ‘live’ – even that’s quite problematic,” Marshallsay says candidly. “There’s not really another word for what I do, but live isn’t quite right. It’s not DJing – although it’s kind of a form of DJing, but with music that I’ve created; playing samples and loops. I really enjoy playing stuff that I won’t release, or things that have yet to be released – because I’m performing from a laptop, I can do that. I guess I’m a bit more excited

“However

difficult I make it for myself, I’m still going to be a guy pressing buttons” Tom Marshallsay, aka Dam Mantle

he describes as “basically a band, but done over the internet, sending music back and forth with some people in London.” A record by the band is slated for next year. “I guess I’ve realised that working with people is what I want to do,” says Marshallsay. “You can do amazing things on your own, things you won’t do with other people. But in the past year that’s become a huge part of what I do.” Other ventures on the horizon include a coproject with Glasgow-based producers Silk Cut, under the name Lovers’ Rights. Richard McMaster of Silk Cut and Marshallsay also recently collaborated on a sound art installation for the Sonica 2012 festival. “It’s really exciting, because you’re just bouncing off of someone else,” Marshallsay

says.

Lovers’ Rights is nearly ready for launch, with Marshallsay predicting some live shows in late December. “When I was making Brothers Fowl, which was most of last year, we had a studio in an old school,” he explains. “We had all the synths set up, and we were just jamming and having a good time.” A planned EP is due out in February, and the first Lovers’ Rights track was showcased on a split single with a track from Brothers Fowl earlier in the year. “I don’t want it to ever become more than us just making tracks and playing out,” says Marshallsay. “I’m excited about it – we’ll see how it comes off. The EP is coming out on High Sheen, which is nice, keeping it within Glasgow.

about the live shows for Lovers’ Rights – it’s just two MPCs and a couple of synthesisers.”

Marshallsay’s thoughts on the importance of performance and visuals for electronic artists are revealing: “Over the last few years with the Dam Mantle project, it’s been less important to me for people to know what I’m doing – because really, however difficult I make it for myself, I’m still going to be a guy pressing buttons,” he says. “It doesn’t really matter. As long as I know what’s happening, and the music coming out of the speakers is right, and it’s good for the audience and good for me, then that’s kind of what matters. There’s a tendency to feel the need to be gimmicky, and in the past I’ve been interested in the different ways you can do electronic music live... I still am, but in the vast majority of cases, in a club, people just want to have fun. You don’t necessarily need to dress it up.”

With a year of collaborations, releases and live performances planned, it seems the future is bright for Dam Mantle – he has become an important landmark in Glasgow’s ever-emergent musical landscape, trading in the kind of thoughtful, complex and experimental electronica for which the city is gaining an ever-growing reputation thanks to Marshallsay and his contemporaries, like Konx-Om-Pax, Silk Cut and Tut Vu Vu. An artist with incredible diversity in his small but fascinating back catalogue, Marshallsay’s reputation as one of Glasgow’s most sought-after producers will continue to grow, and more importantly, to change. “I’ve tried to make each record work around a certain idea, or feeling, or palette, and for that reason they’ve all been quite different,” says Marshallsay. “The last thing I’d want is to get another record from an artist which just sounds like the last one.” In the case of Dam Mantle, that prospect seems decidedly unlikely.

Brothers Fowl is out released on 17 Dec via Notown www.dammantle.com

fi lm

THE MAN WHO DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS FAMOUS

The Skinny talks with MALIK BENDJELLOUL, the director of Searching for Sugar Man, about the difficulties of filming that rarest of beasts, a rock musician who doesn’t want to talk about himself INTERVIEW: KEIR ROPER-CALDBECK

ACTION BRONSON

BEFORE THE Swedish director Malik Bendjelloul met Sixto Rodriguez, the subject of his awardwinning documentary Searching For Sugar Man, people who knew the musician would tell him one thing: “They said he was such a humble guy. I thought, ‘What does that mean? A humble guy?’”

Bendjelloul would soon find out just how accurate this description was of a man who, after his promising musical career had ended almost before it began, had returned with dignity to the quiet anonymity of life as a jobbing construction worker in crumbling Detroit. Initially, however, what it meant was that he had the world’s most reluctant interviewee: “He hated those sessions in front of the camera. I was depressed because he was so unwilling.”

Interviews would begin with Rodriguez promising Bendjelloul twenty minutes, and then clamming up after five. There were times when the director began to fear that his film would not work. His frustration was exquisite precisely because he was sure that this story of “a man who didn’t know he was famous” was a great one.

Rodriguez had made a couple of albums in the early 1970s which, to the astonishment of those around him, had sunk without trace. But his records later turned up in South Africa where they caught the imagination of the liberal white class, and Rodriguez became for them – by way of some enthusiastic bootlegging – “bigger than Elvis.”

Culturally isolated during the Apartheid years, his South African fans remained as ignorant of the singer’s circumstances as he was of his fame there. It was only in the late 1990s that two of their number tracked him down, with astonishing consequences.

Eventually, Bendjelloul managed to coax some halting words from the singer and, even though he remained frustrated with how little material he had - “You always want more” - he later realised “that it was very beautiful. It was part of the story. It was part of the reason he hadn’t become famous.”

Rodriguez’s reticence and obvious humility, along with his striking looks – dressed in black, the sharp planes of his face framed by large sunglasses – lend him a compelling screen presence, and helps to make Searching for Sugar Man more than just another rock documentary.

Rodriguez’s obscurity also meant that Bendjelloul couldn’t take the usual talking-heads-and-archivefootage route favoured by most rockumentaries, for the singer had left few traces in the media.

Instead, inspired by James Marsh’s Man on Wire, Bendjelloul aimed for a dynamic “retelling” with “every minute having some progression” to “a real climax.” The lean and energetic pace of his film bears witness to the many months he spent piecing it together on a laptop in his kitchen.

If interviewing Rodriguez had been difficult, soon Bendjelloul was confronted with a greater challenge; his main backer pulled out, leaving the director with seemingly no option but to give up.

But the story had gotten under his skin, and in no small part inspired by the example of Rodriguez’s own quiet integrity, he continued to work on the film without any funding, even filming one short scene with a Super-8 app on his iPhone.

In the end, Bendjelloul would spend a biblicalsounding 1000 days on the project. It was a rough cut that he took to Simon Chinn, the producer of Man on Wire, that finally brought money to complete the film. Searching for Sugar Man has since won numerous awards – including Best Doc at Sundance – and, by bringing him into prominence in his native land, has completed the circle of Rodriguez’s extraordinary time-capsule career. For Bendjelloul the acclaim from critics and audiences is “everything I ever dreamed of.” When I ask if he has plans for his next project, he admits that he is still enjoying promoting this film. His reluctance to move on can be easily understood; like Rodriguez, he knows that success delayed can be all the sweeter.

HAVING EMERGED as an avant-garde synth group in the late seventies, and morphing into the chart-straddling, eighties pop behemoths we know today, The Human League have influenced everyone from Trent Reznor to Madonna. Yet far from cashing in on the recent nostalgia for the decade style forgot, Phil Oakey and his girls have been tirelessly slogging it throughout their ‘wilderness years,’ delivering seven new studio albums since breakthrough Dare, whilst ensuring their all-live performances are as sharp as a disco lazer. Witness their indefatigable greatness at the 02 Academy on 5 Dec. They’ve been described as alt-metal, nu-metal and even, eek, emo-metal, yet Essex quartet InMe (02 ABC, 6 Dec) have survived all these potentially career-shortening sub-genre classifications to emerge this year with fifth album The Pride. Heralding a move towards more song-based structures over the progressive metal trappings of previous albums, it looks likely to ensure the nu-alt-emo metallers have plenty of life ahead of them yet.

Arian Asllani, better known by his stage name Action Bronson (02 ABC, 13 Dec), has risen through the hip-hop ranks via the unconventional path of gourmet cooking. The erstwhile fire-flame chef, who hosts on-line cookery program Action in the Kitchen, has cut his teeth more conventionally however with a slew of mix-tapes and collaborations leading to a record contract with Warners in August this year. As such we can no doubt expect some bigger helpings to come from the man himself but enjoy this tasty little starter whilst you can. Bon appétit.

Formed partly by The Jam’s former bassist Bruce Foxton, From The Jam (02 ABC, 20 Dec) are, if you haven’t already guessed, the premier of Jam tribute bands, if such a handle is entirely applicable. Paul Weller has expressed no interest in a reformation, ensuring his band’s legacy remains intact, allowing Foxton and co. to embrace a rich back catalogue of hits without fear of tainting the nostalgia gland of their fans. Not that they need worry, if 2008 live album A First Class Return is anything to go by, showcasing as it does a confident and respectful walk on hallowed turf. Dare we say “that’s entertainment?”

Assuming we’re all still alive after the impending Mayan-predicted apocalypse (21 Dec y’all), you’ll no doubt want to party a little harder this Hogmanay.

Fittingly then, two of Glasgow’s biggest and best indie nights are going head to head to see you through this years’ bells. Propaganda vs. Love Music Hogmanay Party (02 ABC, 31 Dec) does exactly what it says right there, bringing the best of the nation’s two staple indie music nights to one hot-spot on the biggest party night of the year.

First-footing doesn’t get much better. [Darren Carle] FACEBOOK.COM/O2ABCGLASGOW

SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN IS OUT ON DVD ON 27 DEC

DECEMBER 2012

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FESTIVAL BOX OFFICE:

0800 689 9405 WWW. B I G B U R N S S U P P E R . C OM

DUM FRIE S

INTERVIEW: GARETH K VILE

fetish club: the lineup juxtaposed the stars of Scottish burlesque and acts from the fetish scene.

The programming of each subsequent event has become more adventurous: last Christmas saw Polish performance troop Suka Off get medical, and on this year’s bill, Yasura the Bushwatcher squares the circle of fetish and circus artistry.

For Dee, TG has always been more than just a simple club night club. “Speaking as a TG partier, as well as its Scottish promoter, there has always been something special about Torture Garden,” she says. “TG events are genuinely creative and truly multidisciplinary in artistic terms. Everything from event design to DJ booking and performer choices are spot on, and showcase true subculture talent while avoiding cliché.”

This December’s line-up matches some familiar faces – Amelie Soleil and cabaret stage host Des O’Conner have been regular visitors to Scotland over the past five years – and international talent new to Edinburgh. Marnie Scarlet adds a conceptual edge to her burlesque-inflected performances: recently, she has been presenting a “pop art tribute to Marilyn Monroe” which has taken her into galleries.

AMELIE

MARNIE SCARLETT

In a period when clubbing has become determinedly mainstream – and consequently, quite often, bland and inconspicuous – Torture Garden has maintained an identity and become an international brand in its own right. Its strong roots in the fetish scene defined the atmosphere – the inclusion of a fashion show from House of Harlot clothing is both a reminder of the club’s connection to the culture and the kind of touch that sets it above most club nights.

Dee stresses, however that “The crowd also has a huge part to play. Every guest, through their attitude, expectation and outlandish attire brings something to the event.” It’s perhaps an irony that a club dedicated to the alternative, celebrating power play and a more extreme brand of performance, has become a safe space for a variety of different groups. The atmosphere at Torture Garden is glamorous, exotic and provocative, but it is undeniably inclusive and playful. “Naturally, support from within the clubbing and kink communities is very strong,” says Dee. “But the level of attendance from those involved in the cabaret, fashion, goth, burlesque & LGBT event scenes is pretty dedicated, each bringing something different to the event, in their outlook, expectation and, of course, dress sense.”

Torture Garden reimagines the club experience as more than a background to selling alcohol or a temple of worship to the latest hip DJ. Although David and Allen TG, co-founders and residents on the decks, have gathered a reputation by maintaining their position at the cutting edge of electronic music for over a decade, the music is just one part of the immersive environment. TG Edinburgh has made its home in The Caves for a good reason: the dungeon atmosphere works well for the various playrooms, but it also lends a sense of enchantment and possibility through its various spaces.

When David and Allen started up Torture Garden in the 1990s, the fetish scene was far more controversial – they have acknowledged that they worried in the early years about police interest.

The growth of Torture Garden has mirrored

the increasing proliferation of fetish imagery in fashion, a more relaxed attitude in the UK towards discussion of sexuality and an integration of the LGBTQ, cabaret and music scenes into a strong countercultural presence. Torture Garden has been an important voice within this change, and is still a comfortable place for novices to experience the scene.

Although it has imitators, Torture Garden holds it place because it emphasises the professionalism of its artists. Des O’Connor is an ideal host for the cabaret stage, balancing a knowing wit with a vaudeville instinct for a catchy, depraved lyric.

Between the dynamic dance-floor, which can become a performance in itself, the two stages, three playrooms and relaxed balcony bar, Torture Garden aims to overstimulate the senses.

In its anarchic mixture of the performative and electronic music, Torture Garden recalls the spirit of early rave far better than any number of nostalgia nights, splicing a glamorous, sexual vibe into the communal energy. It avoids the ubiquitous machismo of mainstream clubbing without descending into a poor reflection of mainstream glamour: the crowd, the acts, the promoters and the venue are all fiercely independent.

For Dee, Torture Graden’s appeal is obvious. “It has to be in its ability to raise the bar. When I think back to the first TG event I ever attended that’s what I remember,” she concludes. “It was held at London’s famous Ministry of Sound venue, at the height of the superstar DJ fad, so my expectations were somewhat askew, thus I was blown away.

The venue had been completely transformed, the music had bite, the stage shows were unapologetically sexy; beautifully grotesque and fabulously OTT. The headline performer that night was Fetish super-starlet Matsuimi Max who worked the crowd in a way I’d never seen before, there was a newcomer called Dita Von Teese but I’ve no idea what happened to her. In short, I was awestruck, as many people are at every TG event.”

TORTURE GARDEN @ THE CAVES 8 DEC WWW.TGEDINBURGH.CO.UK/#/LINE-UP/4557824180

DECEMBER 2012

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PHOTO: MISS RAIN

LIKE PANTOMIME’S shadow-self, the festive appearance of Torture Garden in Edinburgh during December has become a fixture on the calendar.

Produced in Edinburgh by Dee Itsy – now one of the Free Fringe’s flagship cabaret producers – and Torture Garden HQ, this East Coast edition has always reflected both Torture Garden’s bracing aesthetic and the healthy Caledonian cabaret community. On the one hand, it is a gathering of the various fetish and BDSM communities at a single, expansive event: on the other, it allows these communities to appreciate performance both from within the city and beyond. It challenges cabaret and burlesque to recognise the power of more radical approaches, and situates routines within vigorous, sensual musical surroundings.

“The impact the event has had on the Scottish scene certainly allowed me to push boundaries in terms of the performance we present at the show and its overall design,” says Dee. “Over the three years we’ve been hosting TG Edinburgh at the Caves we’ve seen the night grow and our crowd swell and develop with it.”

Back in 2010, Torture Garden Edinburgh served as an introduction to the internationally acclaimed

EARTHLY DELIGHTS

As the annual Edinburgh TORTURE GARDEN bash approaches, The Skinny talks to its Scottish organiser DEE ITSY about burlesque, beats and BDSM

PHOTO: SCOTT CHALMERS

theatre

FEATURE

Features

theatre

The McKnight Before Christmas Pantomime has a fairly bad reputation – at least amongst those who regard themselves as the keepers of the theatrical flame. But is panto okay for sophisticates now? We ask Johnny McKnight

terrified!” he remembers. In fact, it wasn’t until he went for a directing job at The Arches that he was introduced to the pantomime. “I was asked ‘Would you like to be an ugly sister in a wee panto in Loch Lomond?’ I just really enjoyed it.” His training – in the more experimental theatre world – turned out to be perfect.

“I did contemporary performance practice at college,” he says. “And I found pantomime dead easy because we used all the same rules!

Breaking the fourth wall, needing to be aware of the audience, you are allowed to reply to what is happening live. And you kind of bring yourself to the part. It felt like a natural thing.”

For the best part of seven years, it is as if McKnight has had two parallel careers: writing, directing and performing in Random Accomplice’s ecelctic shows and gradually working his way up the Christmas show ladder. His big break came quickly: “For two years at Macrobert I played parts in the Chritsmas show: I played the dame in Aladdin. I was a lot younger then, and I kind of got drunk at the aftershow party and said ‘I think I should write your panto next year. The next morning, I got a phone call...”

McKnight’s demeanor may explain his aptitude for pantomime performance. His energy, even when being interviewed over lunch in the Tron bar, is contagious and his very West Coast accent and sense of humour is reflected in his scripts.

Although he takes his work seriously, his enthusiasm and mischievious wit are obvious.

In taking on the Tron pantomime, McKnight is integrating his careers – since Arnold moved there from The Arches, Random Accomplice have followed him, staging The Promise, Small Town and the recent Incredible Adventures of See Thru Sam on its main stage. But these are big shoes to fill: Forbes Masson, one-time collaborator with national treasure Alan Cumming, used a cunning combination of knowing theatricality and vaudeville antics to make the Tron’s pantomime a hit for both adults and children.

McKnight’s work at Macrobert did pay tribute to Masson’s shows: he set them in “the pantosphere” – Masson’s alternative reality.

And although the two Kings’ Theatres host the classic pantomimes – with competition from the Pavilion for something earthier and the SECC for something starring a man from Doctor Who – the Tron has always made the connection between the festive special and Scotland’s love of variety.

cinderella at the lyceum

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cinderella at the lyceum

photo: eoin carey

Like a shark, panto seems never to have evolved beyond its basic format: cheap jokes, brash song and dance, celebrity turns, a spot of transvestitism and asides for the adults. That it happens to be the most popular performance genre in the UK – aside from musicals, which have a similar lack of cool – is irrelevant. Pantomime is brash and crass, a blot on the high art reputation of Scotland’s renaissance.

There is at least one man who has been lending pantomime and Christmas shows credibility over the past seven years. From Macrobert, Johnny McKnight has been writing scripts with a knowing wit and a boundless love for its playful tradition and energy. Critically acclaimed for his Random Accomplice company – co-founded with Julie Brown, they have covered everything from zombie invasions of the West Coast through to urban education – McKnight built his reputation on Stirling’s Christmas shows. This year, they are reviving his Cinderella, while he heads into Glasgow to give the Tron Aganeza Scrooge (writing, directing and doing a drag turn as the heroine). And in Edinburgh, the Lyceum’s artistic director Mark Thomson takes the helm for another McKnight Cinderella.

Thomson is clear on why he wanted a McKnight script. “Johnny has a great heart and understands children and what they like probably more than a lot of us with kids do!” he says. “He also has a fantastic wit that again talks to children and adults.” Although the Lyceum show is not a pantomime – like The Citizens in Glasgow, Dundee Rep and the Traverse around the corner, the Lyceum tries to connect their Christmas treat with the work they produce during the year – it has the same humour and musical numbers that encourage the festive mood.

McKnight was quick to point out that he wanted the Lyceum show to be very different from the Macrobert show: and his Tron production is different again. Acknowledging his love for the classic Tron pantomimes of Forbes Masson – their mash-up of very Glaswegian humour, wry jibes at other theatres and twisted fairy tales made them an alternative to the traditional format – he is excited by his all female cast and the support of artistic director Andy Arnold.

Ironically, McKnight has few memories of pantomime from his childhood: it wasn’t a family tradition and his first time was inauspicious. “I remember going with the school and feeling

Over in the Lyceum, Mark Thomson encouraged McKnight to follow his inspiration for a Cinderella that is very different from the version at Macrobert.

“I really wanted a young, contemporary voice to tell that great story, someone who is of now and young enough to be in touch with the people he is talking about and to,” says Thomson. McKnight is grateful for Thomson’s support. “Mark was great,” he says: after a first draft, he encouraged McKnight not to simply write a show for the Lyceum. “He said – ‘I want you writing a show.’ In the first draft I bottled it! But now it’s still got that high camp aspect and the second act is wild. I’ll be interested to see how it goes.”

For both Aganeza and Cinderella, McKnight’s humour is matched by serious themes and intentions. His Cinderella, he admits, “is quite moralistic. Buttons is a mute because he has seen all the horror of the step-sisters.” And he decided to undermine the fairy-story ending: “The bad people always get redemption. But, actually, they deserve to be punished!”

Thomson is delighted with the result. “Of course he’s come up with such a clever and refreshing version that will suit anyone wanting a traditional Christmas story absolutely fine: but at the same time he is inventive and playful so you see it like you’ve never seen it before. Now that’s clever.”

For the Tron, he is not only delighted by the story but is addressing something that more serious productions have also tackled. “A female Scrooge is an idea I have been playing with for three years,” he says. “And it is still a panto: I have just been really strict with myself about the story of Scrooge.

It’s still Marley... Tiny Tim. I am telling what I think is

the best Christmas story, but with a panto twist!”

Part of the pleasure, McKnight laughs, has been the research: Bill Murray’s Scrooged is his favourite Christmas film, although he also got to rewatch The Muppets’ version. But, like the grand version of The Guid Sisters earlier this year, McKnight is celebrating the female talent of Scotland.

“I do have a bugbear that panto is a bit of a boy’s club: I loved the National Theatre of Scotland’s Christmas Carol last year but I noticed for the first time how heavy it is on the male characters.” Aganeza has an all female cast: McKnight even wrote the script with specific actors in mind.

“I literally saw the people I wanted in the show and then wrote it for them,” he laughs.

McKnight may have chosen Scrooge for the wonderful redemption of the main character, but it is possible that his approach may be the redemption of pantomime for the cynics. He describes it with a glee that manages to recast the pantomime as an example of radical, devised theatre – except more accessible.

“I am not precious about my work: if someone else can come up with something funny... that’s why I like it! It’s group collaboration,” he says. And as for the performers: “You want it to be a laugh: you are needing to have fun, because it is a longer run, doing it twice a day. If you are just doing it for a wage, you’ll kill it. Don’t do it!”

Cinderella, 29 Nov-29 Dec, The Lyceum, Edinburgh, times and prices vary www.lyceum.org.uk Aganeza Scrooge, 29 Nov-5 Jan, Tron Theatre, Edinburgh, times and prices vary www.tron.co.uk/event/aganeza_scrooge/

photo: eoin carey

Interview: Gareth K Vile

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December 2012

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Sat 8 December 2012–Sun 27 January 2013 Dundee Contemporary Arts Exhibition open: Tue–Sat 11:00–18:00, Sun 12:00–18:00, Thu 11:00–20:00. Closed 25 & 26 December and 1 & 2 January. Admission free.

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art

THE TURNER PRIZE 2012 Back in Tate Britain this year after its sojourn in the Baltic, the Turner Prize features SPARTACUS CHETWYND, LUKE FOWLER, PAUL NOBLE and ELIZABETH PRICE WORDS: JAC MANTLE

THE TURNER Prize isn’t intended as a barometer of contemporary British art – artists are shortlisted on the basis of specific shows – but this year it’s a fair indicator, with two video makers and a performance artist. Presenting similar versions of the shows the artists were nominated for, it’s as much about who fares best in the Tate’s galleries as the works themselves.

With perhaps the biggest task in this respect, Spartacus Chetwynd hasn’t done too badly.

Peering through tears in a big paper den, you observe a weird scene with figures dressed in mandrake costumes enacting a ritualistic play.

If you arrive at the start of the performance, you can sit unpleasantly close to the figures and may be invited to visit the ‘oracle’ (a puppet) for pronouncements on your past and future. Pumping carnival-type music really makes strange this display, and those unfamiliar with Chetwynd’s work are given a rude awakening.

What the show doesn’t convey is the depth of research behind it. Reproductions of the programmes handed out at performances are a vital clue to the work, but are crammed into a corner and difficult to read.

By contrast, a spacious hall has been given to Paul Noble’s pencil drawings. Featuring futuristiclooking uninhabited buildings, each begins with a single word drawn in a blocky typeface in the

centre, spelling out its subject. In Villa Joe, a Tetris-like glasshouse sits amid a desert landscape, housing precious objects. Surrounding the house are rude, blobby creatures of obese proportions.

Pleasingly diverting, the ongoing series is nonetheless contrived within tight limits and the most conventional of the shows. The most experienced artist in the line-up, Noble had a complete overhaul of his practice in the early 90s, which you could argue puts him back on level pegging with the younger nominees. (Elizabeth Price went under a similar process of reinvention a few years ago.)

Watching Luke Fowler’s entry, All Divided Selves, you certainly wouldn’t say that he had less experience than Noble, but of course this is the case. Fowler’s third film on Glaswegian psychiatrist RD Laing (1927-89), it aims to convey not simply historical events but a more textured portrait of the mood of the time and Laing’s character. Assembling archive material with Fowler’s own filmic notes, it meanders between footage of psychiatric sessions with orthodox practitioners, and Laing’s radical way of thinking.

At 90 minutes long, the film asks a lot of the audience, but it’s installed well and immersive enough that even without any narrative markers, it’s possible to stay the distance. Had the last three prizes not been awarded to Scots and were Fowler not the youngest nominee, you’d say he

was a good contender.

After Fowler’s marathon, Elizabeth Price’s 20-minute film barely seems to have begun before it’s over. Perhaps this is because the room feels like a thoroughfare. The Woolworths Choir of 1979 begins by describing ecclesiastical architecture of churches then explodes into footage of a girl group named Choir, dancing to the powerful hooks of The Shangri-Las. By now, the silent onscreen narration is revealed as unreliable and not convincing in the slightest.

The tenuous links between these disparate bodies of culture are hinged on wordplay and visual motifs such as a hand waving. It is this blatant flimsiness of reason – a trademark of Price’s videos – that makes the work brilliant.

If the allotting of gallery spaces is any indicator, though, it seems the most deserving artist will not be the winner.

WWW.TATE.ORG.UK/WHATS-ON/TATE-BRITAIN/ EXHIBITION/TURNER-PRIZE-2012 IMAGES CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: ELIZABETH PRICE – USER GROUP DISCO (2009) COURTESY THE ARTIST AND MOT INTERNATIONAL. LUKE FOWLER – ALL DIVIDED SELVES (2011)_COURTESY THE ARTIST, MODERN INSTITUTE/TOBY WEBSTER LTD AND GALERIE GISELA CAPITAIN. PAUL NOBLE – PUBLIC TOILET_COURTESY GAGOSIAN GALLERY. SPARTACUS CHETWYND – ODD MAN OUT (2011) COURTESY THE ARTIST AND SADIE COLES HQ.

JOEP VAN LIEFLAND_ VIDEO PALACE NO.34 - LE DISCOURS DES MEDIAS_COURTESY THE ARTIST AND THE DUCHY

JOEP VAN LIEFLAND DUCHY GALLERY, 1-22 DEC

In the Michel Gondry film Be Kind Rewind, a magnetised Jack Black accidentally erases all the tapes in Mos Def’s video store. In a harebrained attempt to conceal this from the customers, they film their own versions of movies like Ghostbusters and Rush Hour 2. Dutch artist Joep Van Liefland’s exhibition, entitled Video Palace #34 – Le Discours des Medias, deals with similar themes – the notion of expired, outdated formats and the cultural ‘palaces’ of VHS rental stores, all of which fell to the barbarian hordes of cheap DVDs and Blu-Rays, online streaming services, and The Pirate Bay. Liefland has made 33 prior ‘video palaces’ – he turns the gallery space into a recreation of a video shop and fills it with titles featuring the artist himself, with gently satirical titles such as Donald Judd Faces of Death and Splatter Orgasm. Using graphic design, vintage footage and his own films, he addresses the technical limitations of video as a format; the nature of the video shop as a liminal space, full of potential narrative choices for the viewer; the genre and thematic divisions within the video collection presented; and the potential for duplication of these titles.

With movie posters, screened footage and an incredibly detailed and lifelike interior and exterior, the shop itself is a work of art. Liefland addresses what has been termed ‘media entropy’ – the increasingly fast dissolution and abandonment of formerly cutting-edge technologies. He asks what we lose when we abandon a particular medium or technology and recreates some of the cultural detritus that remains, in a satirical, obscurely nostalgic fashion. Like Gondry’s film, Liefland’s work depends on what Jonathan Lethem termed “the ecstasy of influence” – the impulse to create art based on extant work; to remix, to ‘swede.’ There’s a serious edge to his humour, but for 80s babies, the attraction is the joy of flicking through stacks and stacks of tapes, looking for video nasties. [Bram E Gieben] VIDEO PALACE #34 – LE DISCOURS DES MEDIAS WWW.THEDUCHYGALLERY.COM

BE KIND REWIND

DECEMBER 2012

THE SKINNY 29

clubs

Features

The Next Gener ation

Subcity Radio, the student-run station based in Glasgow University, has been broadcasting for close to 20 years.

We caught up with newly-appointed Station Manager Niall Morris to ask about his plans for this cultural landmark... interview: Bram E. Gieben

SubCity Radio has been manning the airwaves since 1995, supplying high-quality music and arts coverage to Glasgow’s student population.

Showered with awards for its programming – in 1997, hallowed Radio 1 tastemakers Steve Lamacq and John Peel even came in to do some guest broadcasts – the station has always reinvented itself every few years, to give a new crop of students, DJs and broadcasters a turn at the controls.

This year, the station’s logo has been redesigned, and a new Station Manager appointed – Niall Morris, also known on the Glasgow scene as an electronic music producer, and the brains behind an act touted in our own NETVERK column online, the stately and retro-futuristic CUR$ES. The Skinny caught up with Niall for a chat about his plans for the station, and what they’ve got up their sleeves for 2013.

“I’m an electronic musician with an interest in tech stuff, so when I left school about two and a half years ago it seemed appropriate to study electronic engineering and music,” Morris tells us. “During my fresher’s week, the only event that really appealed to me was the Stay Fresh party Subcity was throwing at SWG3. The tech manager of Subcity at the time was on the same degree course as me, so I decided to spend a day of fresher’s week lugging extremely heavy bass bins up a narrow staircase. I’ve never looked back.”

He’s already stamping his identity on the station with the aforementioned new logo, which adds a dose of much-needed minimalism to the station’s visual identity. “This is part of a much

wider rebranding of the station that is currently underway, which will culminate in the launch of a new website some time in the new year,” Morris explains. “There had been a general feeling of unrest with the old logo; in 1995 it was probably pretty sweet, but it seemed to have cheesy hip-hop connotations that weren’t really relevant to the freeform nature of Subcity. The new logo was designed by the incredibly talented Grampian Mountains, who also hosts a really great show on the station. The concept was based on Moiré patterns. We’re also starting to expand the non-musical side of the station, with radio sitcoms, drama, documentaries and performance poetry under development.”

“I decided to spend a day of fresher’s week lugging extremely heavy bass bins up a narrow staircase. I’ve never looked back” Niall Morris Asked to name some of his favourite shows currently on the station’s schedule, Morris has praise

Photo: Harrison Reid

for several shows run by local DJs and promoters: “Earthly Matters covers all kinds of interesting electronic music; a lot of new age cosmic stuff, but lots of other genres too. Codeine Drums are renowned for their love of hip-hop, R’n’B and electronic stuff. Kaleidoscope plays a lot of the same music I’m into as well.” There are some new shows on the schedule too: “Glasgow club heavyweight David Barbarossa has recently started doing Wild Combination every Tuesday, to go alongside his night of the same name at Nice ‘n’ Sleazy,” Morris tells us. “12th Isle Transmissions is a brand new show that boasted a live set from Svengalisghost (of L.I.E.S. Records) on their first episode. We received way more applications than we expected this semester, so there are plenty of new shows starting soon.”

Given that Subcity has been such an important part of Glasgow’s cultural life, Morris has some pretty big expectations resting on his shoulders.

How does he view the station, and its role in the city’s culture? “Subcity provides a platform for creative people in Glasgow,” Morris says simply.

“I’d like to think of Subcity as a community where each contributor can choose their level of involvement. I’ve already met so many interesting and creative people through being involved with the station. We’re probably best known for our club-based shows; the percentage of respectable club promoters in Glasgow that are Subcity contributors or alumni is pretty incredible.”

What are Morris’s ambitions for the station now that he’s in charge? “At the start of the academic

year, I said my two main goals were to establish a new visual identity and to redesign the website,” he tells us. “The logo was introduced pretty quickly, but the website is still a couple of months off completion. Once the new website is launched, I’d like Subcity to become more international, and host shows from people all around the world. The new website should also hopefully allow us to host content that isn’t strictly radio.”

Subcity will be dipping its toe back into event promotion as well: “Our last event was at Chambre 69 during Fresher’s Week, and saw us build a 6-foot cage for DJs to play in. We’re throwing a sweatbox end-of-term night at Nice ‘n’ Sleazy on Thursday 13 December. The lineup for that night features a good mix of fresh faces and OGs. We’re also really keen to develop more radio-appropriate events. We’ll be inviting people down to see sessions being recorded, and to see sitcoms and dramas being performed.”

It promises to be an exciting year for the station, with many a change afoot, and the possibility of seeing fresh, groundbreaking ideas put into action. As Subcity close in on their 20th year of broadcasting, it seems that the institution is being well-served by its current leader, and things bode well for a resurgence in the station’s popularity and relevance. The proof, as always, is in the pudding – tune in now, or get yourself down to Sleazy’s on the 13th to check out what Subcity: The Next Generation are all about.

Subcity Radio Party, Nice ‘N’ Sleazy’s, 16 Dec, £TBC Tune in to Subcity at www.subcity.org

December 2012

THE SKINNY 31

Features

The State Of Independents

film

The humble record store has had a tough time of it these past few years.

But when author Graham Jones and director Pip Piper began to document the current landscape for their Last Shop Standing project, they found some heartening signs of recovery amongst those dusty old vinyl racks Interview: Darren Carle

Graham Jones, author of Last Shop Standing, has an unconventional qualification behind his decision to write about the demise of the independent record store. “I’ve probably visited more record shops than anybody on planet Earth,” he boldly claims at the top of our conversation. As a record sales rep for the past 25 years, covering the whole of the UK, he may well have a valid shot at such a title. Yet whilst Jones has steadily witnessed the erosion of those record stores, from over 2,000 in the 1980s to around 280 today, it wasn’t hard and fast numbers that led him to ask, as his book’s sub-title puts it, ‘whatever happened to record shops?’

“It was a conversation with my auntie, who was in her eighties,” begins Jones on the genesis that saw him put pen to paper. The chat centred around the continuing decline of Jones’s work, leading him to speculate as to whether there was any future for independent record stores at all.

“Then my aunt said to me ‘they’re going the way of the candlestick maker.’ At first I didn’t know what she meant but she explained that when she was a little girl, every high street would have a candlestick maker, a stamp shop and a coin shop.

It just made me think, ‘blimey, you don’t go down the pub and talk about what happened to all the candlestick makers.’”

Yet this thought process did get Jones talking about record shops. Travelling to fifty stores across the country, he interviewed the owners of what he believed may well be the last shops standing in their areas. But rather than a glum appraisal of the current, seemingly inevitable demise of his beloved hangouts and livelihood, the book took on a more celebratory feel. “They all had incredibly funny stories about their life in music,” says Jones of the experience. “And so the book became more a celebration of record stores instead of what I originally thought was going to be me writing their obituaries.”

This positive and anecdotal nature of the book helped gain it widespread acclaim before eventually landing in the lap of filmmaker Pip Piper. Approached by Piper to make a film about his book, it didn’t take much persuasion for Jones to give the green light. “A couple of other companies had approached me but Pip was the first to actually be enthusiastic and passionate about it,” says Jones.

“I was impressed with his whole operation and I just felt it’d be good to do it with him. I thought we’d have a good laugh and that his heart was in the right place.”

Piper has a somewhat different take on how the process went down. “We [himself and producer Rob Taylor] drove down to where Graham was living at the time and took him out for a pub meal,” he begins. “We bought him a ploughman’s, a pint of shandy and talked to him about why we thought this might make a great film. He got quite excited about it and the deal was struck. There were no posh hotels or fat cheques in advance. It was a real spit-and-a-handshake agreement really.”

While the go-ahead came about easily enough, the actual structure of the film took some time to fall into place. “We really didn’t know what film we were going to have because the book is full of anecdotes and great stories,” explains Piper.

“Which is great, you know, but that’s not a film.”

Yet without a clear idea of how the film would eventually pan out, the small group, including Jones, set about touring the country’s stores, interviewing their owners and sleeping on the floors of relatives while they did so. “It was like the book; a completely low budget, independent affair,” laughs Jones.

“We really just allowed ourselves the freedom to gather the material,” Piper elaborates of the filming process. “It was a couple of months into

32 THE SKINNY

December 2012

Johnny Marr: fighting for the future of the Indies

the edit before we felt there was a shape beginning to emerge. Conversations were very much centred around the rise, the fall and the rebirth of record shops and that’s how it came about.”

Sub-titled, unsurprisingly, The Rise, Fall and Rebirth of the Independent Record Shop, the film of Last Shop Standing does exactly what it says on the poster, charting the humble origins, obstacles and victories of record stores like a classic three-act play.

Taking the leading roles was Jones himself, as interviewer and commentator, as well as a wealth of shop owners from across the land. However, the film also features a number of cameos which may pique general interest further still, among them Paul Weller, Johnny Marr, Norman Cook and Billy Bragg, who all took time out to visit their local record stores of choice and talk openly of their experiences.

Once again though, there was no dealing with agents or record companies to get people involved, just a good old-fashioned sit down and chat. “We wanted it to be a real passion project from the grass roots up, so Graham talked to a lot of the shops and asked who they had contact with,” reveals Piper of how such celebrated artists got involved. “It gives it a real authenticity. All of the people are really passionate about that particular shop [they were filmed in] but also about record shops in general. We didn’t want to overwhelm the film with that though. We wanted the record shop owners to be the real characters of the film and the celebrities very much in a supporting role.”

It’s a tactic that works well, the dishevelled owners and known faces sharing in painting the bigger picture while filling in the spaces with anecdotal asides. “It’s great, the shape it found in the end, that it wasn’t just a homage to something that’s disappearing or a bit of a rant about what’s been lost,” says Piper. “I think it was liberating for

“Hopefully

the people of Edinburgh and Aberdeen will realise that it’ll be a sad day if these record stores close” graham jones all of us to experience that, not in an idealistic way because obviously shops closed while we were making the film, so it’s still a rocky path out there.

But I think the film captures something of a wider social comment on the desire and the shift away from homogenised consumerism to something that’s more independent and connected to people’s lifestyles. I think that’s really positive.”

Jones agrees that, despite the hard times, some good has come from the twin assaults of digital downloads and supermarket loss-leading that has decimated the industry. “I remember ten or fifteen years ago, many record shops were very snobby about their customer base,” he states with some embarrassment for the old cliché. “Those shops are gone now. If you actually care about your customers and you go that extra mile for them, then you can learn to survive.” Indeed, Jones brings forward his latest figures on the matter, showing that while we are never likely to see 2,000 record shops bustling on these shores again, the number has actually risen, up from an all-time-low of 269 three years ago to 280 today.

“I think what you may well find is something in excess of those numbers,” says an even more optimistic Piper. “People who have little boutiques, who maybe share a space and sell vinyl while

someone else sells cupcakes and good coffee.”

There are, however, even stranger combinations than buying the latest Godspeed record before sitting down to a nice blueberry muffin. “There’s a shop opened in Southsea called Pie and Vinyl,” laughs Jones. “You go in there and you buy a pie, sit down and eat it while they play an album for you. That’s thinking outside the box and it’s maybe going to one extreme, but that’s what you have to do.”

It may be a bittersweet idea for the likes of Aberdeen’s One-Up and Edinburgh’s Avalanche, both of whom have announced that come a bad Christmas period, they will likely be shutting up shop in the New Year. Jones feels he has little to offer such shops in terms of advice beyond what they are already doing, but agrees that announcing their intentions is a good move. “When you have a record shop closing, you have people in tears.

So I think that by announcing that unless things improve then they’ll be off, that’s a good tactic, a last throw of the dice. Hopefully the people of Edinburgh and Aberdeen will realise that it’ll be a sad day if these record stores close.”

“There’s a need for city councils to rethink rates to help independent stores to have a presence in shopping areas,” says Piper on the subject.

“There’s also a real need to think beyond Record Store Day, to have stuff going on all through the year to keep kindling the public imagination. But I think there is definitely a groundswell of people rediscovering new ways to consume music and to be in and around spaces where people love it, have intelligence about it and want to share it.

That’s definitely growing and will continue to grow.

I think that’s very exciting.”

Last Shop Standing is showing at the Cameo Picturehouse, Edinburgh on 10 December. The DVD and book are both available now www.lastshopstanding.com

tech

FEATURES

TECH CHRISTMAS WORDS: ALEX COLE

BROADCASTER WIFI WEBCAM

MA450i

FOR THE TALENT Capturing video on a phone is all well and good, but if you’re putting together something a little better than your average jump-offsomething-high clip, go with Logitech’s Broadcaster WiFi Webcam (£159). This cam runs on batteries for hours, pipes your HD video straight through WiFi with no cables, and means you can live broadcast or record from anywhere you get a signal. Actual talent for your YouTube uploads is helpful, but comes separately.

FOR THE ‘DROID Androids have always touted how customisable they are over iPhones, but you need a good app to prove it. Tasker (£3.99) from Crafty Apps is one of the best. Tweak what your phone does in terms of when, where and how you use it, from the screen brightness and audio automatically going down at night, to alerts when you’re in a specific location. Just try not to go mad with power. For the off moments, take on the world with Plague Inc. (£Free, in-app purchases), where you play as a crafty disease trying to wipe out the world. Fun times!

FOR THE BODY It’s not like you’re going to keep your New Year’s resolutions about getting in shape and eating right, but for those who behave better when they buy something to help, the FitBit (£49-79) is the right way to go about it. The little fob connects to your phone or computer, tracks your routines from running to sleeping, and charts just how well your well-meaning exercise is going. For those with friends trying the same, Fitocracy (£Free), a social network that pits you against your mates in an exercise contest – winner, take, well, whatever you want.

ROKU 2 XS

FITBIT

FOR THE EYES Right now, betting on any device for the TV that gets internet goodies is pretty much a crapshoot – no one’s quite sure who’s going to have the most content available. Conservative bets include YouView (£250), which is overpriced but clean and functional, and Freeview+ (£210), which is pretty similar in form. For those with less pocket money and more cojones, go for the Roku 2 XS (£109) or Boxee Box (£132), either of which get you some great content, can sometimes handle Flash (and therefore VoD), and look pretty swanky.

COMEDY GIFTS

ROSS NOBLE: NONSENSORY OVERLOAD rrrrr

WORDS: BERNARD O’LEARY

STEWART LEE

COMEDY DVDS make the perfect stocking filler!

That is probably the most damning indictment of a creative form imaginable, but it is true. All of the usual suspects have new DVDs out just in time for Christmas: Jimmy Carr, Dara O’Briain, Jason Manford, Jon Richardson, Frankie Boyle and every other comedian off the telly. If you walk into HMV right now and grab a random disc, it will probably be a comedy DVD and, if you gift it to someone, they probably won’t hate you too much. Unless it’s Jack Whitehall’s DVD, obviously.

But if you’re shopping for an especially picky comedy fan, don’t despair! There are some gems floating around at the moment, including In The Middle Of No One, a recording of the most recent full-length show by outrageously talented duo The

FOR THE EARS Good headphones at a good price are still a big ask these days, and many just opt for disposable buds that can get lost without busting your wallet. But for those with a tiny bit more to spend, investing in a pair of RHA SA950i’s (£49.95) would be well worth your while. They look great without making you looking like an arse (looking at you, Beats by Dr. Dre), sound brilliant for the price, and will play nice with your iDevice as needed. For those after buds, the MA450i (£39.95) will suit just as well.

Pajama Men. The show has a cast of thousands, all played by Mark & Shenoah with their whiplashinducing ability to switch between characters and settings. Even if you’ve seen it live, you’ll want the DVD just so you can catch the jokes you missed first time.

Some of the proper standup heavyweights have DVDs out this year too. Brendon Burns has finally gotten round to releasing his post-Comedy Award show Y’know – Love ‘n’ God ‘n’ Metaphysics ‘n’ Shit and sees him in a more philosophical mood, Phil Nichol is in fine storytelling form with his Nearly Gay/The Naked Racist, while grumpy old man Stewart Lee talks about his waning creative powers and growing interest in Scooby Doo in his latest show Carpet Remnant World.

PHOTO: STEVE ULLATHORNE

comedy

FOR THE iDEVICE Looking for an antidote to Angry Birds? Go for the retro steampunk feel of Steambirds: Survival ((£Free, in-app purchases), featuring turn-based strategic dogfighting in an alternate WWII. When you’ve shot them all down, take on the moral dilemmas of The Walking Dead (£2.99) world with their excellent consequence-riddled game, or take the zombies off the couch with Zombies, Run! (£5.49), a running app that plays out a story with the sounds of zombies chasing you as you haul ass down the street. Then check yourself into Bad Hotel (£1.49), local developers Lucky Frame’s newest game that puts you against the elements and evil property owners to keep your hotel safe.

There are also a wide selection of funny books out on the Christmas market, the pick of the crop being Peter Serafinowicz’s A Billion Jokes (Volume 1). If you follow him on Twitter you’ll know the score: mostly hilarious and occasionally baffling one-liners and non sequiters, lovingly illustrated in this book. Sample joke: “Ron Jeremy’s first pet was called Jeremy and he grew up on Ron Street.”

Another internet funny person with a book out is George Takei. Captain Sulu from Star Trek, as he’s also known, has found a new career as That Guy Who Posts Really Funny Stuff On Facebook and he’s collected his wisdom into an ebook called Oh Myyy. It is only available in electronic format though, which means that while it might make a great gift, it will be much harder to wrap.

A bit of banter about tattoos turns into an epic rant about time machines that look like giant arseholes. This is one of the more memorable moments of the new show from Ross Noble and it’s the kind of thing we’ve come to expect from the man, who is a kind of long-haired nonsense generator capable of spinning insane yarns out of the most mundane of prompts.

He’s become something of a lo-fi national treasure over the years and this DVD set pays tribute to him.

The extras spill out across three discs, none of which make any sense but all of which are damn funny.

DANIEL SLOSS: LIVE rrrrr Daniel Sloss is feeling old because he’s just turned 21.

Boo hoo, Fife boy. Actually, it’s a testament to his charm that he can get away with saying that and not have half the audience storm out in a fit of geriatric self-loathing.

Sloss is all self-deprecating charm, with asides about how stupid his trendy hair is, plus a heartwarming retelling of the first joke he ever wrote.

Unfortunately there’s not a huge amount going on beneath that. Sloss is funny and can work a room but it ends up feeling like harmless banter. A nice distraction but you wouldn’t watch it twice.

DECEMBER 2012

THE SKINNY 33

A Christmas Book Guide

books

No clever title here – this is your basic guide to various books you can buy various people. Nice and simple words: Keir Hind

Napoleon Symphony by Anthony Burgess After he filmed A Clockwork Orange, Stanley Kubrick’s next film was to have been a massive biopic about Napoleon Bonaparte. Years of planning went into this, but it eventually collapsed under the sheer weight of material, and budgetary realism.

However, around the same time, the original author of A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess, wrote this novel, Napoleon Symphony, which is cheekily dedicated, amongst others, to Kubrick. This rerelease shows a fascinating work that uses musical form as the basis of its structure, as the title might suggest. The specific symphony Burgess uses as a basis is Beethoven’s Eroica, which was originally written for Napoleon, until the composer grew disillusioned with him. Burgess himself was a composer, which seems to have helped, but also wrote poems, plays, criticism, translations, and virtually any written form available. This also helps – this book is interspersed with song lyrics, plays being performed, and regular poems, amongst other forms. As a biographical work about Napoleon, it’s never going to be a standard, but only because it’s too much fun. It’s being called a ‘lost’ work, which often suggests a lesser one, but readers will enjoy this as much as Burgess clearly enjoyed writing it.

Published by Serpent’s Tail. Cover price £12.99

How Music Works by David Byrne Like Anthony Burgess, David Byrne, of Talking Heads fame, has always been interested in testing the limits of musical form, and here he writes about his craft in a very engaging way. “Music isn’t fragile,” he says, stressing that examining it doesn’t take away any of its magic. Byrne doesn’t just examine the more magical aspects of music though – he covers virtually all aspects of music making, from its healing properties, to the business side. That may seem absurdly comprehensive, but it’s all based on what differing elements did to change music – for example, the invention or improvement of different instruments led to a change in sounds, but so did different recording forms, and so, in a less direct way, do certain management structures. Byrne writes about all of this in a balanced, intelligent way, interjecting with personal comments on occasion – he refers to the book as a series of ‘Think Pieces.’ Byrne seems very engaged with music itself too, throwing in a wide range of references from Oasis to John Adams, all entirely in context and well understood by the author. This is definitely a useful book for musicians, but the surprising thing is it’s a cracking good read too.

Published by Canongate. Cover price £22

Peace, Love and Potatoes

by John Hegley This is musician and poet John Hegley’s latest collection of his poems, which are mostly comical, sometimes moving, and often both. This one will win anyone over, if not quite by the title then definitely when he or she sees that even the blurb in the book jacket is written as a poem. After that icebreaker, this is just a joy to read. Hegley’s casually humorous writing style is there throughout, but he also writes himself into his poems now and again, and even more personally, his direct concerns come through on

34 THE SKINNY

December 2012

various occasions. This is often a concern with the wellbeing of libraries, or art galleries, or even blood banks, though more often these will simply feature affectionately in verse about something else.

Hegley occasionally illustrates his poems with nice little line drawings too, which can add immensely to the charm of a poem, for example when the one about making Daleks friendlier shows one walking a dog. Yes, much of this is very British, English or even more specifically based, like the poem about Luton Town FC ending a losing streak by using a poem (this actually happened. Sort of). It’s all very charming and enjoyable.

Published by Serpent’s Tail. Cover price £9.99

Where Rockets Burn Through, edited by Russell Jones Again with the poetry, this collection, subtitled ‘Contemporary Science Fiction Poems From The UK,’ is exactly that.

It’s a more common genre than you might think, and this collection is specifically inspired by Edwin Morgan, who provides the epigraph “the last refuge of the sublime is in the stars” and the opening and closing poems. 40 other poets are represented here, over 200 pages or so, from novelists like James Robertson and Ken MacLeod to, occasionally, people with scientific backgrounds. Of course, not every poem is rigorously scientific, but that comes under poetic licence. Poetry and Science Fiction are, on this evidence, very complementary forms, in that both require the writer, and reader, to make great leaps of the imagination. It’s possibly for this reason that much of the poetry is free verse, but that’s about the only broad distinction that can be made here, since the poems can describe space, or time, or technology, and use those subjects to make points about our society, or general feelings, or the characters therein. Some are even in Scots – James Robertson’s Dr Wha being a nice example. This collection could possibly fall between two stools, but it shouldn’t; the poetry here should be enough to attract science fiction and poetry fans alike.

Published by Penned In The Margins. Cover price £9.99

A Curious Invitation by Suzette Field Partying being an important part, nay, the entire reason for, Christmas, it might be worth taking a look at this curious, and nicely compiled, selection of The Forty Greatest Parties in Literature. To be clear, these aren’t literary bashes for writers to get drunk at, which I’ve heard has happened on rare occasions. These are the best fictional parties in literature itself – all made up, like, for example, the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. Author Suzette Field suggests that the book could act as a crib, allowing people to talk about literature at parties by summarising the party scenes from some books. Maybe it will, but the book is more useful as an entertaining diversion for bookworms, as well as an inspiration for holding your own (usually swanky) party. Field arranges each section into an itemised list of party elements, ‘The Invitation’, ‘The Host’, ‘The Food and Drink’, etc until ‘The Legacy’ rounds it all off. The selection is very nicely eclectic too, with Tolkien and Douglas Adams rubbing shoulders with more mainstream literary stars like Proust and Waugh, but also with real left-field picks, like Jackie Collins. Read it for yourself and decide what’s the best party.

Published by Picador. Cover price £14.99

NeverSeconds by David Payne and Martha Payne Roughly continuing a food theme, NeverSeconds is a blog that you may have heard of on the news, because it’s the one that was started by 9-year-old Martha Payne at the end of April 2012 about her school dinners. For some reason the council banned Martha (on 14 June) from photographing her meals, which only led to more publicity, more hits for her blog, and of course the overturning of the ban. The blog eventually received 8 million hits (and counting) and Martha used it to raise over £120,000 for her favourite charity, Mary’s Meals, which feeds children in Africa. This book continues that work, as each purchase feeds 25 children in Malawi. It’s worth reading too, as it details her story, with the biographical bits written by Martha’s Dad, David, and the blog excerpts written, or course, by Martha herself. It’s a brilliant story of someone doing good for others, and what the book brings home is the sheer pace of it all – the blog started at the end of April, it had raised over £100,000 by the end of June, and Martha visited Malawi by the end of September to see how the kitchens she’d helped sponsor were coming along.

Published by Cargo. Cover price £9.99

The Table Comes First by Adam Gopnik Continuing the food theme, Canadian-American Francophile and essayist Adam Gopnik has written about life in Paris before, in Paris to the Moon, and here he turns his focus to the French culture of dining and eating, which can’t have been a hardship to research. Let him away with it though, because Gopnik is an excellent writer on, it would seem, whatever subject he chooses.

Not an over-analytical one though, because, as he says “We shouldn’t intellectualise food, because that makes it to remote from our sensory pleasures; but we ought to talk as sensibly as we can about it, because otherwise it makes our sensory pleasures too remote from our minds.”

That, in a nutshell, is what he aims to do, and does, here. He starts by considering why, in 1942, a French resistance member about to be executed wrote largely of food in his final letters, he ends by tasting a dessert created in Lionel Messi’s honour, and in between there are musings on great chefs (especially Escoffier), secret ingredients, philosophers on food, and his own cookery skills, which seem pretty considerable. Not a lot on Christmas though – if only Gopnik would write a book on winter itself…

Published by Quercus. Cover price £12.99

Winter by Adam Gopnik Well, look at this! A convenient Christmas wish come true!

So Gopnik here considers winter, and as mentioned, he is an excellent writer on whatever he chooses. He chooses winter? There must be good reason. In this book, Gopnik traces the development of humanity’s attitude to winter, over the last 250 years or so. In older times, winter was something to suffer through, which Gopnik illustrates by printing a poem by Samuel Johnson (of dictionary fame), referencing ‘frowning skies,’ but then printing a later poem by William Cowper

(the poet of couches and castaways) that says ‘I crown thee king of infinite delights.” The increased protection from the cold allowed people to start enjoying their winters, and the author then traces the development of that enjoyment. The development of Christmas, and especially Santa Claus, is followed, as is the ongoing expansion of winter sports, from ice skating to, eventually, ice hockey.

Further developments in living in the cold are also traced – specifically the insulated architecture of Montreal – and Gopnik looks at how these things have all influenced our increasingly positive perception of winter as a whole. A book to read by a warm fire on a cold winter’s day.

Published by Quercus. Cover price £18.99

New Writing Scotland 30: A Little Touch of Cliff In The Evening The 30th edition of New Writing Scotland proudly announces that it printed various famous authors before their big breakthroughs – Iain Banks, Ian Rankin, Janice Galloway, Irvine Welsh, and so on. This edition is a bumper, anniversary one, containing work from 81 contributors, some well known already, some less so. Alasdair Gray contributes a story, for example, but it’s one that’s in Every Short Story, don’t worry. This is a mix of short stories and poems, and even one graphic short from metaphrog, and it’s a poignant one too. The trick whilst flipping through is to guess who’ll be the next big name… but tempting though it is, I’m not going to play the predictions game here. I’d recommend this to budding writers though, because, apart from being a good read (and the standard of this collection is very high indeed) this does set a benchmark to aim at, and it also includes submission instructions for the next volume. This, then, is your chance to get an idea of how well you need your writing to be in order to get it published, at least in journal form.

And don’t worry, the subtitle isn’t that relevant.

Published by the Association for Scottish Literary Studies. Cover price £9.99

Octavius, by Various And speaking of literary journals… Octavius is a journal set up specifically for students in Scotland, featuring fiction and poetry, and this is the debut edition. Student magazines can be incredibly self important, but this avoids that – it’s a cracking wee collection that doesn’t fall into printing any overwritten angst-ridden confessionals, self-indulgent rants or any of the other pitfalls of student magazines.

Exactly where it fits in (what I’ll call) journal-space isn’t certain; certainly the quality is high, but I doubt even the editors would disagree that New Writing Scotland’s is higher. So maybe budding student writers might like to focus on this journal first, with an eye on NWS later – I‘m saying this speculatively; it’s obviously entirely up to you. It’s a nice feeling that there are an increasing number of literary journals appearing to help authors get their work out there. There are numerous highlights in this collection itself, and some personal favourites are the poets that start and end the collection, specifically Richie McCaffrey, whose John Logie Baird I enjoyed, and Jad Baaklini, whose poem Thank You, Disillusionment is quite amusing. Well worth a look, if only to note down the names for future reference…

Available at www.octaviusmagazine.com Cover price £5

Monkeys With Typewriters

by Scarlett Thomas Moving on from literary journals, Scarlett Thomas, the author of The End of Mr Y and Popco, has been a creative writing teacher at the University of Kent for 8 years. During this time, as she explains in her introduction, she began evolving the way she taught so that her expectations met reality, and came up with a definitive series of instructions for her creative writing students. It’s these notes that have been used to create this book. The need for the book came from Thomas’s realisation that she had to recommend various different texts to writers to educate them on the form of the novel. She cites Stephen King’s On Writing, James Wood’s How Fiction Works, and Lynne Truss’s Eats, Shoots and Leaves as examples, all worthy works, but covering various different areas. This book summarises the various areas that Thomas, at least, thinks are important for new writers to familiarise themselves with.

Some prospective writers will, obviously, know a good deal of this, and consider it dull or worthy, but that’s the price of being comprehensive about writing. This is a thorough guide for anyone starting to write. And when they’ve written that novel, there’s one more step…

Published by Canongate. Cover price £14.99

The Writers & Artists Yearbook 2013 And our final word for budding writers… well, this is the bible of how to get published, really.

And with all of these literary journals showcasing the talent that’s around, it would seem ridiculous for them not to get into publication. That’s where this book comes in. It’s first and foremost a list of people who might be able to get or give you work, such as agents, publishers, newspapers, theatre companies and so on and on. But it also contains incredibly valuable essays by various professional

writers on their chosen fields – this year’s edition has William Boyd on becoming a novelist, Terry Pratchett on becoming a fantasy novelist, J.K. Rowling on becoming a successful children’s author, etcetera.

On the other side, agents give their stories of how to attract their attention, and there’s even things like financial advice on income tax, copyright advice, advice on blogging and available resources…. It covers it all, really. If you’re feeling ultra super confident, there are even listings for literary awards, but really, this is for the budding novelist who’s just starting out and is keen to get a foothold in the business. If that’s you, this is the first book you should get.

Published by Bloomsbury. Cover price £18.99

The People Speak, edited by Anthony Arnove and Colin Firth Bear with this overly elaborate introduction, it does go somewhere: in the (increasingly dated-looking) film Good Will Hunting, the ‘genius’ character played by Matt Damon castigates Robin Williams’ therapist character by disparaging his books. One he takes issue with is a history of America, suggesting Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States instead. Well, that is a real book, and it is a good one.

Zinn’s peoples’ history approach, teaching history from the point of view of the many, not just kings or rulers, has become increasingly influential. And so we come to this book (at last, I know) which has been complied

by Anthony Arnove, a frequent Zinn collaborator, and, another movie connection, the Oscar winning actor Colin Firth. Firth, whose father was a historian, famously appeared in The King’s Speech, so this is some way of evening that up a little. The book comprises speeches by ‘ordinary’ people, meaning non-rulers, on issues from 1066 to the present, chosen largely because the authors thought they sounded good when spoken.

Appropriately for Christmas, the proof is in the pudding, because this is a very entertaining collection, making a good gift for any budding speech- makers out there.

Published by Canongate. Cover price £17.99

Every Short Story 1951-2012

by Alasdair Gray Mr Gray is increasingly anthologised these days, with A Gray Playbook collecting his plays, and A Life in Pictures his artwork as well as containing the closest thing to an autobiography we’re likely to get. A completist’s dream, and completists will further enjoy the plainly titled Every Short Story 1951-2012. A Life In Pictures showed a fascinating consistency of style in Gray’s artwork across the decades, and this book does much the same for his writing. This is not to say that there aren’t changes in the work over time – there are, but every story is somehow distinctively Alasdair Gray.

For fans, that’s extremely good news, and they’ll also be happy that there are 16 new, hitherto uncollected, stories here under the title Tales Droll and Plausible. All of the stories can run from the sublime to the ridiculous or vice versa, in the best possible sense. There are also copious endnotes here, explaining how the various books came to be (some of which are new, but some aren’t). It’s debatable whether this is a purchase for people new to Gray, but that’s about the only qualm I can muster here – there are few better places to find 900 pages of fantastic stories.

Published by Canongate. Cover price £30

Gifted by Anonymous A fantastic real life story here.

A lovely story, in fact, of an anonymous someone using her creativity to inspire and intrigue others. That sounds like overly gushing praise, but in this case it is true. In March 2011, the first of 10 gift sculptures sent or deposited anonymously to various Edinburgh locations appeared in the Scottish Poetry Library.

This one was called the ‘Poetree,’ it looked like a tree growing out of a book, and the tree was made using the pages of a book too. Another poem

appeared subsequently in the National Library of Scotland, then one in the Edinburgh Filmhouse, and so on, all gifted anonymously until 10 had been found, with one bonus one delivered for Ian Rankin. The sculptor remains anonymous, and will hopefully continue to be so, in that it just adds to the fun in this story, but she has said she’s female. This book includes the story of all the sculptures, and of course extensive photographs of them all, but it also has the nice bonus of a word from the sculptor, as well as, nicely, a description of how to make your own ‘Poetree.’ A wonderful way to pay tribute to libraries and museums.

Published by Polygon. Cover price £9.99

You Are a Shark by Edward Packard More in the fantastic stories line, this is pretty hard to top for young readers. But wait, this is an old book, right? Yes, but I’m recommending something slightly different here. Spineless Classics are a company who specialise in making posters comprised of the text of entire books – Pride and Prejudice and Finnegans Wake have both featured. How? Small print, and big posters, generally. It’s a nice gift for a fan of any particular book, but You Are A Shark is especially good, since it’s a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure Series.’ This goes like this: you wander into an ancient temple, and the mystical monk (okay, cliché, but just go with it) offers you a choice – will you be lord of the air, lord of the sea, or lord of the land? In the book, you would then flip to a specific page to continue reading the story of your choice. In this version, you follow arrows to the next relevant piece of text, as it’s all laid out on the poster, and you can end up as an eagle, a shark or an elephant. All good fun, but don’t make the wrong choices, or you’ll speedly end up at an ominous...

THE END. From Spineless Classics. Cover price £39.99

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Showcase

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fashion

lifestyle

Christmas Gif t Guide – Acc e s s o r i e s !

Not sure what to buy this Christmas? We might just have the answer...

Selected by: Alexandra Fiddes

purple Coccinelle purple saffiano tote Covet £185 thoushaltcovet.com Diamond clutch bag LaLaLand £18 livinginlalaland.co.uk Kinetic Bug Brooch Screenprinted recycled aluminium, Louise Smith at Edinburgh Contemporary Crafts £95 edinburghcontemporarycraftworkshops.co.uk Bird print scarf Fiona Heather £25 fionaheather.co.uk Becksondergaard purse Covet £37.50 thoushaltcovet.com

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Silver Collection of 2 stack rings Sterling silver, Scarlett Erskine at Vanilla Ink, prices range from £80–120 each vanillainkstudios.co.uk Crystal formation oxidised silver ring Francesca Flynn at Edinburgh Contemporary Crafts £108 edinburghcontemporarycraftworkshops.co.uk Betsy oxidised bow ring Red Door Gallery £35 edinburghart.com Collection of 3 stack rings Sterling silver, Scarlett Erskine at Vanilla Ink prices range from £80–120 each

December 2012

Oxidised ring Red Door Gallery £12 edinburghart.com Stack ring Sterling silver, Scarlett Erskine at Vanilla Ink prices range from £80–120 each Basalt oxidised ring Jane Gowans £159 janegowans.co.uk Collection of stack rings Sterling silver, Scarlett Erskine at Vanilla Ink, prices range from £80–120 each Eddie silver bird ring Red Door Gallery £40 edinburghart.com Delta silver pendant with chain Jane Gowans £129

Green Rebecca Minkoff mini bag Covet £176 thoushaltcovet.com Ta Da! clutch bag LaLaLand £18 livinginlalaland.co.uk Becksondergaard purse Covet £37.50 thoushaltcovet.com Dress American Apparel £36 americanapparel.net

Gold Gold plated silver stacking ring Scarlett Erskine at Vanilla Ink, prices range from £80–120 each vanillainkstudios.co.uk Lava necklace Gold plated brass set with lava on an oxidised silver chain, Victoria Kelsey at Vanilla Ink £75 (worn as ring) vanillainkstudios.co.uk Watch strap Gold plated brass with Lava, Victoria Kelsey at Vanilla Ink £75 (worn as ring) vanillainkstudios.co.uk Overgrown Ring Gold plated brass set with peacock pearl, Victoria Kelsey at

Vanilla Ink £120 vanillainkstudios.co.uk Ela Stone 2 lion headed cuff Covet £125 thoushaltcovet.com Gold vintage watch American Apparel £77 (worn as bracelet) americanapparel.net Lava necklace Gold plated brass set with lava on an oxidised silver chain Victoria Kelsey at Vanilla Ink £75 (worn as bracelet) vanillainkstudios.co.uk Jane Gowans is offering 20% off until 20 Dec with the code CHRISTMAS Fiona Heather is giving The Skinny readers 15% off for December by using the code SKINNY

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Photographer: David Anderson www.dnanderson.co.uk Stylist: Alexandra Fiddes www. alexandrafiddes.co.uk Make Up / Hair Stylist: Kimberley Dewar at Colours www.coloursagency.com Model: Becca at Colours www. coloursagency.com Location: Superclub studios www.superclubstudios.com

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food & drink

LIFESTYLE

The Skinny’s super-serious food gift guide It’s the most wonderful time of the year, so don’t waste any of it worrying about shopping. Let us deal with that, with our serious and scientific guide to Christmas gifts that are at least slightly related to food! words: Peter Simpson

There are certain times of the year when minds seem to synchronise, and the cultural world seems to reach an unambiguous consensus on what exactly is important at that time. Christmas is one of those times, with everyone fussing and fretting over salmonella, exploding trees, and what to buy everyone. Well, we covered food poisoning and Yuletide danger last year, so this year we thought we’d give shopping advice a bash. After all, we run a serious food section, and this is a serious time of year. Serious.

MOTHERS Definites are hard to come by when Christmas presents are concerned, but as the gift guides of the world will tell you, mothers definitely want chocolate. Don’t bother asking them, or checking whether then have any kind of allergies or dislikes towards chocolate, just go with the flow. The trick is to pick up some chocolate that’s so outrageously exuberant that momma will completely forget about her lactose intolerance, and Hotel Chocolat is an ideal place to get just such the thing.

Your only problem will be choosing between The Party Piece, a ridiculous and slightly-daft 140-piece chocolate box, and In the Chic Midwinter, the ridiculous and slightly-daft limited edition, and ‘individually numbered,’ chocolate winter scene in its own handmade display case. You won’t get accused of taking the cheap and clichéd option, that’s for sure. Other questions will be asked, but no-one will call you cheap.

Illustration: Nick Cocozza

CHILDREN While we’re doping up one end of the family with caffeine and sugar, it feels like a good idea to get the lot at the other end as well. Yes, it’s children! Sweets are a good choice for this lot too, as anything else you buy them will just end up lost, broken or gnawed on anyway. The gift of confectionary encourages sharing, and brings us all together. That’s right, we are literally advocating taking candy from babies.

Eschew the normal selection box though, and get them something a bit more creative. Something like fudge branded as Cubed Earwax, or a jar of, ahem, Tinned Fear. The Hoxton Street Monster Supplies range of sweets are sold in support of a non-profit children’s writing organisation, and the packaging features stories from the likes of Nick Hornby and David Nicholls. The stories will handily distract the recipient as you nick half of their Christmas present, before bounding out of the room on your long, grown-up legs like a boss.

‘THE PERSON WHO HAS EVERYTHING’ The ‘patient zero’ of the gift guide, this person would normally be referred to as a picky bastard if we weren’t so full of Christmas cheer. They don’t have everything, they just have a smart remark or wisecrack to make about every present you’ve ever given them. Hence your turning to a guide written by a professional wisecracker to find them a gift that they won’t wrinkle their nose at, because apparently it takes one to know one.

So what to get ‘em? Well, it’s got to be rare, and interesting. It has to have curiousity value, as well as having a genuine use. Oh, and it can’t cost too much, because you should never throw

“Ghost

Deer from Brewdog looks incredible, like a pimp’s bottle of Tipp-ex” good money after bad. Step forward, Ghost Deer from Brewdog. At 28%, it’s the world’s strongest fermented beer, hitting the rare and interesting buttons right away. It comes in a 6cl bottle, making it cheap, and it looks incredible, like a pimp’s bottle of Tipp-ex. Plus, it’s useful, because you can drink it. Not sure if you should, but you definitely can.

There you are, problem solved.

CHEAPSKATES There’s always one; the person who gives everyone books with incredibly squint pages or hats which are ‘just a little bit water-damaged.’

Well, luckily the world of food can help you get your own back, thanks to the DIY Hooch Kit from firebox.com. It’s some sachets of yeast and sugar, an airlock, and a box; bundle it with some fruit juice from your friendly neighbourhood supermarket and you can say that you’re giving the gift of home-brewing. Try and say it with a straight face, but don’t worry if you can’t manage.

HIPSTERS The cooler-than-thou still celebrate Christmas, man, so they need presents that impress and entertain, but, y’know, ironically. Presents such

as, and we swear to the baby Jesus that this is a real thing, the Christmas Bacon bundle from baconfreak.com. The cool kids love bacon, for some reason, and they’ll love this heart attack in wrapping paper. It contains bacon-flavoured coffee, bacon-flavoured popcorn, a gift box of chocolate-covered bacon balls, and a baconscented candle and fleece blanket. Yep. For the cool kids who don’t fancy a life of constant defibrillation, why not try some toastshaped USB hand warmers? Plug ‘em into your computer, put them on your hands and bingo, warm hands. Warm hands which are covered in giant, uncomfortably twee pieces of felt toast. It’s original, if nothing else. Oh sorry, that should be original, and nothing else.

MISCELLANEOUS ‘STOCKING FILLING’ TAT Yes, it’s the bit of the gift guide where the presents that don’t fit any particular category wind up.

Presents like musical wine glasses, which take the simple joy of making funny noises with the rim of a glass of wine and clinically suck all of the fun out of it. Prepare to spend Boxing Day furiously trying to get a perfect D from a flat glass of cava while eating turkey for the third straight meal.

Or if that doesn’t have enough potential to acrimoniously divide the family this Christmas, what about the foetus-shaped cookie cutter? It’s food fun for all the family, if that family happens to be the Mansons! It actually exists as a thing you can buy! Please don’t!

Stick to the sane presents, like the earwaxthemed sweets and the 28% beer in the miniature golden bottle. As we said at the start, you have to take this gifting business seriously.

December 2012

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food & drink

LIFESTYLE

aRound the World at Christmas Our globe-trotting drinks column comes over all festive this month, with odd rituals and condensed milk-a-plenty words: Peter Simpson

We’ve deviated slightly from this column’s usual theme this month, to go on a Santa-inspired whistle-stop tour of Christmas drinks from around the world. We’ll start close to home, with Gløgg.

Gløgg is basically turbo-charged mulled wine from the home of desperate alcoholic invention, Scandinavia. Wine with fruit and spices is one thing, but wine with fruit and spices AND a bit of Akvavit or vodka is another thing entirely.

Staying in Scandinavia, things get explicitly Christmassy with Juleøl and Julebrus. Juleøl is Christmas beer for the grown-ups, with breweries up and down Norway and Sweden bashing together ales that smell like mince pies and old socks, while Julebrus throws all the cheer of the season into radioactive-looking fizzy juice.

From Europe to the Americas, and the Coquito.

A traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink, it makes our round-up because of an absolutely heroic list of ingredients; eggs, rum, coconut milk, condensed milk, and various Yuletide spices.

Imagine eggnog, but with less curdling and more sugary goodness.

The Chilean Cola de Mono, or ‘monkey’s tail’,

continues down the same route, with rum, boiled milk, aniseed liqueur and coffee. By all accounts it’s a bit like a White Russian in a Santa hat.

Sorrel Punch from Jamaica is, in a shocking turn of events, somewhat fruitier and less heavy on the condensed milk. It’s made with hibiscus flowers, rum, wine and the usual cinammon-nutmeg-cloves trio that you’ll know if you’ve ever been anywhere near food in December.

And back here in Blighty, our traditional Christmas drink is Wassail. A hot mulled cider, it’s notable for a couple of reasons. The first is that it was initially devised as part of a mystical treeprotection ceremony that sounds like something from The Wicker Man. And the second is that the traditional recipe calls for placing slices of toast on top of the mixing pot, which sounds like something from the Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man. Best to stick with the classic German Glühwein which has no crazy rituals attached, other than the one about drinking it while standing in the freezing cold trying not lose your festive cheer at doddery old ladies, and even that’s just part of the Christmas fun.

Food News December

Food news gets well festive this month, and winds up scrabbling for whisky miniatures in a Perthshire castle with Peter Simpson As the rest of this magazine has no doubt made abundantly clear, December means Christmas.

Here in Food News-land, that means it’s time for ostentatious events vaguely related to the sort of food and drink you would normally ignore.

Events like Champagne tastings, which probably wouldn’t warrant a mention if we weren’t all feeling so festive. As it is, we are firmly in the season to be jolly, and someone needs to undergo meticulous research to find out which sparkling wine to dish out to their friends and family in the face of mince pie-fuelled indifference. The French Institute plays host, with the full gamut of Champagnes from millesimés to blancs de noirs to try and attempt to distinguish from each other.

Institut Français d’Ecosse, Edinburgh, Fri 14 Dec, 6pm, £20.

If Champagne isn’t Christmassy enough for you, what about a whisky tasting-cum-afternoon tea?

Forget that you have shopping to do, and that December is essentially a week-and-a-half shorter than every other month because you’ll be spending time locked in endless games of Monopoly or cleaning out a parent’s attic because “you’ve always been the tall one,” and indulge yourself with tiny little sandwiches and loads of whisky in a

distillery on a Saturday afternoon. Auchentoshan Distillery, Dalmuir near Clydebank, Sat 8 Dec, 2pm, £20.

Good as those two sound, neither can match the archetypal Christmas-themed Scottish food event that is the German Christmas market on Princes Street. There’s mulled wine, and enormous bratwurst, and about five different sweet shops.

It’s not without its flaws: it’s ludicrously expensive, and always claustrophobically busy, and the ‘festive’ ‘cheer’ can be a bit much after a while. But then you’ll be saying that about your house in a few weeks’ time, and that place probably doesn’t have mulled wine on tap and a ferris wheel in the back garden. Princes Street Gardens Edinburgh, til Mon 24 Dec. And if you’re in need of a post-Christmas walk about with a food twist, Blair Castle are putting on a whisky trail in the castle grounds. Basically, they’re hiding bottles of Bruadar around the castle and it’s your job to track them down. It’ll be good scavenging practice for next month, when you realise you’ve spent all your cash on presents and oversized German sausages. Blair Castle, Blair Atholl, 28-31 Dec.

Tió de Nadal

Phagomania: A World of Xmas Dinners words: Lewis MacDonald

Everybody’s favourite weird food-staring column is back after a month off, which it spent roaming Vietnam in search of exotic delicacies.

But that will have to wait until next month, for convention dictates that ’tis the season and if you are not going to say something about Christmas then shut up.

Thankfully for us, the Phagomaniacs, Christmas presents a time to truly leave our self-respect to roast on an open fire, with licence to gorge until we lie star-fished on the floor rubbing our bellies. Repeatedly. A time of tradition, we all have our own dinner favourites (be it with or without sprouts) to look forward to. But what about our good friends the silly foreigners? What are the rest of the world getting up to, to keep Rennie and Gaviscon in business?

The French may be dining on oysters; the Czechs on fish soup and pickles; the Bulgarians on nuts, fruit and cheesy pastry (what, no meat?!); but the Scandinavians (particularly Norwegians) are really treating themselves, all having a version of ‘lutefisk’ – air-dried whitefish treated with lye. This gelatinous and pungent dish is perhaps best summarised by the fact it is subject to many a Nordic joke, such as ‘Well, we tried the lutefisk trick and the raccoons went away, but now we’ve got a family of Norwegians living under our house!’ Suitably upkeeping their rivalry, Sweden dug deep and came up with their retort: pickled pigs’ feet for Christmas!

For those who don’t know, I always enjoy the irony of the Finnish chowing down on some reindeer around Christmas. Hey, it’s legit, you know, to control the population? And Rudolph is so very, very tasty. I once had Finnish canned reindeer.

Looked liked dark red tuna. Tasted like not the way to eat deer.

I’m not going to put the word ‘exploitation’ into anybody’s mouth, but the uncanny similarity of the Colonel and Mr. Claus has certainly put a lot of fried chicken in mouths. That’s right, our favourite culture-warping nation Japan have really got their wires crossed, or rather their white-haired men and poultry. KFC has risen to become the most popular festive dish in Japan with pre-orders apparently coming in two months in advance of Christmas.

We’ve saved the best until last, but also to allow some time for this one to digest. The Catalonians have really outdone themselves here with Tió de Nadal. On 8 Dec a hollow log is turned into a mythological character affectionately called Caga Tió (shitting log). He is usually given a face, nose, propping legs and maybe a wee red woollen hat. And then a blanket to keep him warm from the winters. Up until Christmas, Tió is fed a little treat each night until... BLAM! he’s thrown into a fire and beaten with sticks. The shit log now has to live up to his name, and ‘shit’ out the treats. Here’s a song (translated) to sing while you beat him: ‘Shit log, shit turrón (nougat), hazelnuts and cottage cheese, if you don’t shit well, I’ll hit you with a stick, shit log!’ The cheese is odd, but they are all nice things. What you don’t want to catch is the last items shat out, namely salt herring, a head of garlic and an onion – some sort of punishment or life lesson? There’s even a giant one constructed for a street festival in Barcelona. Why South Park haven’t cottoned on to this, I don’t know – unless I missed than one? Caga Tió... I shit you not. N.B. I think our Christmas would benefit with the addition of Tió. I can see him in a See You Jimmy hat shitting Tunnocks tea cakes.

December 2012

THE SKINNY 43

deviance

Lifestyle

Love Is Colourblind?

Just how colourblind is Scotland when it comes to relationships between black women and white men? words: Scheherazade Mohammed

Thinking About Egg Donation

Ana Hine looks at the practicalities of donating her eggs after hearing a talk by Dr Aarathi Prasad about her new book Like A Virgin: How Science Is Redesigning The Rules Of Sex

ilustration: michael arnold

I’ve been considering donating my eggs. Last October, at my twenty-first birthday evening, I raised the topic with two of my closest friends. Unfortunately they both reacted quite negatively, saying I was too young to make such a major decision. I was flabbergasted. Both of them are lesbians and had spoken in the past about wanting children later on in life. I thought they would understand.

I figure that by the time I am financially and emotionally ready to have children (if I ever am) my eggs will be too old to be much use. I’ve never much cared for the idea of being pregnant though and could really take or leave the whole thing. But other people don’t feel like that. If my eggs are perfectly healthy (and by all accounts they are) then I don’t see why I shouldn’t at least offer them to others who might want them.

Last night I went to a talk by Dr Aarathi Prasad about her new book Like A Virgin: How Science Is Redesigning The Rules Of Sex. During the resulting Q&A I asked her whether she would recommend someone like me donating my eggs. She said, “The number one thing that stops a woman having children is the eggs she has. There are women who would thank you for it.”

Egg donation requires stringent psychological

The most acute resentment I have ever held towards any of my boyfriends did not begin with a personal quarrel. Rather, it started with a slightly sarcastic Facebook comment from his sister, which elevated into multiparty verbal war and resulted in a flurry of angry inbox messages. One such message, directed at me from an outside observer, was written in all furious caps and demanded: how could you date someone related to that F**KNG B***H?! Not sophisticated, no, but hardly surprising, given that my then-boyfriend’s sister had unapologetically thrown a racist term at me.

I expected my boyfriend to come to my rescue. I expected indignation or at least an apology on her behalf. But he was a conciliatory boy, and unaware of the gut-wrenching rage racist language inspires, so he shrugged and said, “Well, I didn’t see it so I can’t comment. Let’s just not talk about it.” And so it was uncomfortably swept under the rug and tacitly avoided from then on. When we broke up bitterly some time later, I remember spitting at him that at least I wouldn’t have to deal with his sister.

This is, in general, the uncomfortable truth about being a minority in Scotland. While mainly it is a friendly and colour-blind experience which lulls us into believing that we are as accepted as anyone else, there are a few incidents which violently rattle us into realising we are anything but. The general attitude, however, is to quickly gloss over these and leave them unmentioned.

I remember, during a particularly obnoxious spike in a BNP publicity campaign, having to step over flyers denouncing Muslims as bloodthirsty and dangerous, unwilling to rest until the nation had bent to Sharia law, and black people as starving stray animals hungrily devouring Britain’s welfare.

As a half-black, Muslim girl, paying full international student fees to be there and walking down the street in a backless sundress, I was less angry than I was completely confused.

The outright hatred, however, is far easier to ignore than smaller – but acutely painful – moments

44 THE SKINNY

December 2012

in one’s personal relationships. Out of five boys I dated in Scotland, three were white, and all of my awkward racial moments stemmed from those three. Once, for example, I was meeting one’s friends at a bar for the first time. They walked through the door and saw me sitting on a stool next to him. After introducing themselves perfectly pleasantly and making small talk for a few moments, one turned to him and asked where his girlfriend was, weren’t they supposed to meet her tonight? And on the first fumbling nights we would sleep together, they’d all at some point apologise, saying they knew I was probably used to bigger.

Because naturally, as a mixed race girl, I would have slept with hordes of generously endowed black men. (For the record, I haven’t.)

“While

mainly it is a friendly and colourblind experience, there are a few incidents which violently rattle us into realising we are anything but” One boy I dated kept mentioning how turned on he was by my (I’ll admit, rather sizeable) ass. I was alright with it at first, but he kept mentioning it, and what was worse, in a somewhat degrading manner. When I asked him to stop, he looked shocked and said, “Oh, I thought you liked that since you’re…” he fumbled before he realised how he was going to finish his sentence. (For anyone who can’t fill in the blank there, he meant to say

because I was black.) I didn’t blame him; from what he’d seen on television and in the media, that’s how black people speak to each other. It did, however, make me sad that sitting on his bed, flipping through a particularly pretentious literature book I’d been assigned for class, he still automatically pegged me as something out of a Tyler Perry movie.

A writer of another column pointed out that watching two white characters have sex on television is risqué, but fairly commonplace. Watching two black people have sex, or a white person and a black person, still has a touch of the shocking or animalistic. After a period of time in Scotland, I was ashamed to find this true myself. On a romantic and penniless trip I took with one boy to a budget hotel, we found ourselves on a mattress in front of a giant mirror. That night, I remember catching a glimpse of us out of the corner of my eye and being surprised. How strange it looked, how brown I was – the disconnect between how in love I was and how right it felt to be with someone, and how incredibly jarring it was to actually see us together. I threw a towel over it as soon as I could, telling him I thought I looked fat. That, like the rest of it, seemed simpler to deal with than the truth.

To clarify, I am not feeling sorry for myself, neither do I regret a single moment I spent with those boys. Two of them, I loved, and they gave me the brief and intense periods of indescribable joy and heartbreak that every twenty year-old should experience. Scotland, as a whole, has done remarkably well at rooting out racism aside from a few radical pockets, and for the vast majority of my time there, I was blissfully unaware of my own skin colour.

However, until I sit at a bar with my white boyfriend and do not have to explicitly state that we are dating despite our racial differences, and until my boyfriend’s sister writes me a message apologising for her frankly unforgiveable misstep, I think it is important to realise that dirt, however far you sweep it under the rug, is still very much there.

“The

number one thing that stops a woman having children is the eggs they have. There are women who would thank you for it” Dr Aarathi Prasad and physical tests, hormone injections and pills and invasive surgery, but every time I hear about it, it sounds rather amazing. The extracted eggs are incubated and then used in IVF, or research, or frozen for use later on, depending on what you specify.

In the UK, egg and sperm donors are not anonymous, though they have no legal obligations.

If my eggs are involved in the creation of a child then that child will have a legal right to contact me once they turn eighteen. That is fine with me. I agree that people should be able to find out about their genetics and answer the question of ‘where they came from.’ Anyway, I’ll be forty by then and if I haven’t already had children ‘naturally’ by then I will have pretty much missed my chance.

Prasad stressed that young women need to think very carefully about donating their eggs. However, she assured the audience and I that the procedure has been going on for a long time and has few risks.

While I was aware of what egg donation requires, Prasad did raise some issues I hadn’t considered.

The storage of the eggs long term and the possibility of saving some for myself in the future hadn’t occurred to me. Prasad reminded the audience that while sperm freezes well eggs are kept in liquid nitrogen and can deteriorate over time due to their higher fluid content. I had heard it wasn’t good to rely on your frozen eggs as your only reproductive option, but I may well consider it as a back up. After all, as my friends last October reminded me, my future partner might want children.

Like a Virgin: How Science is Redesigning the Rules of Sex is out now. Published by Oneworld. Cover price £12.99.

travel

Lifestyle

East Coast Mainlining Travelling by train from DC to AC (Atlantic City) words: Kennedy Wilson

illustration daniel seex

Washington DC The ultimate company town. It was once described as having an aura of power that seduces people; it’s something that’s known as Potomac Fever. Visitors are overwhelmed by this beating heart of the most powerful nation on earth. Politics is the main employer in the city. Washington was designed from scratch to be the capital of the United States; its architecture is littered with Greco-Roman pillars and domes. By contrast there is a wonderfully seedy underbelly.

Tourism is the other main employer – the place is full of museums, mausoleums and monuments.

President Kennedy once wittily described Washington DC as “a city of northern charm and southern efficiency.”

Poisonous Potomac Fever takes its name from the river on which the city stands and it affects the army of politicians, media pundits, academics, bureaucrats, socialites and spin doctors who work ‘within the Beltway,’ Washington’s ring road.

Potomac Fever is at its most intense in a presidential election year when an army of political activists moves in to plan and carry through the campaign.

The atmosphere is positively claustrophobic.

Travel writer Jan Morris once observed: “It’s an alienating city. It lacks the corporate gift of hospitality.” A sense of ruthlessness is a constant undercurrent in Washington life where the ethos is ‘do unto others before they do unto you.’ One senior politician with years of experience in the ways of the power elite noted: “Everyone knows everyone manipulates everyone else.” The leafy neighbourhood of Georgetown (the famous setting for the classic movie The Exorcist) has been described as “the most obsessively political residential enclave in the world.”

That aside, there are a fantastic range of free museums, including the world-famous Smithsonian Institution. New ones seem to be opening all the time. Recent additions include the International Spy Museum (which traces the history of spying from the days of Elizabeth I to satellite surveillance) and the Holocaust Memorial Museum where you can pick up educational DVDs in the gift shop.

The fact that Washington is the home of scandal should come as no surprise. Inject a little light relief with a famous scandal bus or walking tour.

The most famous landmark is surely the Watergate building.

Bizarre Baltimore A short train ride takes you to the home of John ‘Pope of Trash’ Waters, the schlock film director who helped make Baltimore a movie buff’s paradise. Waters called his hometown the Hair-do Capital of the World, where women in beehives and pointed spectacles, like something out of a Far Side cartoon, go around calling each other ‘hon.’ What other American city could name one of its main thoroughfares Pratt Street or have a graveside shrine to a shit-eating drag queen?

Charm City has long associations with Edgar Allan Poe, humourist HL Mencken and wacky neo-pop artist Jeff Koons. Rockers Frank Zappa and David Byrne were sons of Baltimore and Wallis Simpson was the Baltimore gal who prompted the abdication crisis. The fictional Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane was where Dr Hannibal Lecter, the antihero of The Silence of the Lambs was incarcerated. In Hitchcock’s Marnie the crazy mom lived in Baltimore. And expletivestrewn police procedural The Wire is also set here.

New Yorkers used to see Baltimore as Hicksville but it has become the Seattle of the East. There’s a fantastic, edgy music scene and the cost of living is much cheaper than NYC. This university town is famous for the Johns Hopkins University which was long in the forefront

of Aids research. Baltimore people are proud to say that “you were born here, grew up here, get married here and die here.” It’s that kind of town.

It also has its share of freaks as the books on the shelves of Waters’ favourite bookshop attest – Atomic Books at 3620 Falls Road.

Back in the 1970s Baltimore almost invented urban renewal. The city, formerly one of the East Coast’s major industrial centres, now attracts day-trippers. The docks, once a hardcore no-go area, were transformed by glassed over shopping malls – Harbour Place was devoted to food and restaurants like the city’s signature dish Maryland crab. Served with spicy sauce and a little wooden mallet with which to bash the claws, you’ll get a fetching bib and a bucket on the floor for the shattered shells.

President Kennedy once wittily described Washington DC as “a city of northern charm and southern efficiency”

Philadelphia Philly cheesesteaks are an unhealthy and acquired taste. The city’s streets and public buildings have a polished grandeur so that its skyline looks as if it had been created by Disney. It’s here that you will find the cracked Liberty Bell – an apt metaphor for the America we all know and love. The city has none of the mad hustle of New York, nor the pompous domes of Washington. The massive Eastern State Penitentiary – a gothic haemorrhoid in the Fairmount district – is the nation’s largest haunted attraction. Once the most famous and expensive prison in the US, it is now a cavernous ruin, its distempered cell blocks at Halloween season sport state-of-the-art special effects and lighting, digital sound, animatronics and performers who bring the 11-acre site to spooky life in shock corridor events with names like Lock Down and The Experiment. The Masonic Temple, built in 1873, is located at 1 North Broad Street, directly across from Philadelphia City Hall and astonishingly receives thousands of visitors every year who come for a taste the secret society’s, er, outreach programme.

Atlantic City Another train ride gets you to Boardwalk Empire; Atlantic City is like a scuzzy Las Vegas with long associations with the Mob. Its wooden boardwalk promenade has barely changed since the 1870s when it was built but the rest of the place is deliciously down on its uppers. It’s not without its charms. After all, it’s where Tony Soprano comes when he needs the sea air.

Picturesque seediness and Americana meet corporate glitz. The pier is not a place you’ll find slot machines but expensive designer handbags and accessories from Gucci and Louis Vuitton. It’s a huge contrast to the T-shirt vendors and 99 cent stores that line the Boardwalk.

The jewel in the turd is surely the Trump Mahal casino – complete with gilded onion domes.

Away from the Boardwalk, the main drag hosts a mix of shops where you can buy anything from mob henchman’s shoes in blue mock-croc to last season’s Ralph Lauren or visit one of the tarot card readers and palmists. If you get into difficulty there is the Frank Sinatra wing of the local hospital.

For Train bookings visit www.amtrak.com/home For further reading, see rollingroadshownews.blogspot. co.uk/2007/08/2007-rolling-roadshow-john-waters-tour.html dcwalkabout.com/scandaltour.html

December 2012

THE SKINNY 45

ADVERTISMENT FEATURE

ARE YOU READY TO RELEASE THE KRAKEN? YET AGAIN, in the depths of this issue, lies a beast feared by seafarers for centuries. A beast so fearful the mere mention of its name causes paroxysms of terror. Last month one audacious soul found it. If you, brave reader, are able to locate this nefarious and tentacled monstrosity again, you may also be in with a chance of winning some precious nautical booty.

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You can find bottles of The Kraken in some of Scotland’s finest pubs and bars – as well as some far less reputable harbour side taverns.

If, however, you would like to win a bottle through courage and ingenuity alone, tell us what page the wee beastie is hiding on, and how YOU would release The Kraken. HINT: It’s not in Listings...

Head to www.theskinny.co.uk/competitions and answer the above question. Competition closes Mon 2 Jan 2013.

Winners will be notified on the day of closing and will be required to respond within 48 hours or the prize will be offered to another entrant. For full terms and conditions, go to www.theskinny.co.uk/about/ terms, and www.drinkaware.co.uk for the facts.

Below the thunders of the upper deep Far far beneath in the abysmal sea, His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee About his shadowy sides: above him swell Huge sponges of millennial growth and height; And far away into the sickly light From many a wondrous grot and secret cell Unnumbered and enormous polypi Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.

There hath he lain for ages and will lie Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep, Until the latter fire shall heat the deep; Then once by men and angels to be seen, In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

– ‘The Kraken’, Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1830

WWW.KRAKENRUM.COM

46 THE SKINNY

DECEMBER 2012

LIVE MUSIC HIGHLIGHTS

The Metal Column

A night of doom-crunk at a Psychegaelic Ceilidh? That's what we call Christmas Words: Illya Kuryakin photos: sol nicol

As we all know, Christmas is the traditional period where we remember the smell of millionaire vigilante Bruce Wayne, and commemorate the holy moment when his young ward, Robin, laid an egg. But enough of fusty traditions and ceremonial nonsense – what’s happening on the gig scene?

The answer, thankfully, is ‘hunners.’

Kick off December with a nostalgic trip down synth-pop lane with proto-goth Gary Numan, who brings a selection of classic hits and re-worked tracks from his last LP to Edinburgh’s HMV Picture House. Aeroplane enthusiast and reformed Tory Numan will also be premiering tracks from his forthcoming album, Splinter (4 Dec, £25).

On 5 Dec, you can catch Bostonian post-punkers Mission of Burma in Glasgow for a rare intimate set at Mono (£12). Their latest album Unsound was well-received here at Skinny towers, and with over a decade of touring and recording under their belts, you will be in capable hands if you head down to shake a tailfeather. Support comes from native garage combo Palms and Ex-Teens (also ex-Dananananakroyd).

Also on 6 Dec, estranged New Order bassist Peter Hook and his new band, The Light, come to Edinburgh’s Liquid Room (£20), performing a set largely comprised of classic Joy Division album Closer.

They’re also performing their debut Unknown Pleasures in full at Aberdeen’s Garage (4 Dec) and new Dundee venue Non Zero (formerly Dexter’s, 5 Dec). If you have a burning urge to hear that fluid

Do Not Miss:

The twilight sad, Barrowlands, 15 Dec

bassline to Love Will Tear Us Apart at full bore, we’re sure Hooky won’t disappoint.

St. Deluxe make us come over all nostalgic-like – they embody the stoner-rock, grunge ethic of our ‘90s past, with shades of Pavement, Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr. all dressed up in reverb-drenched, My Bloody Valentine noise. As former members of BMX Bandits, they’re Scottish indie veterans, but this particular guise sees them breathing new life into the musical tropes of The Skinny’s 90s adolescence. Miss them at your peril, at Nice ‘N’ Sleazy on 7 Dec (£5).

13 Dec offers a difficult choice for music fans, as heart-melting folk-rocker Beth Orton tours her lush new album Sugaring Season, swinging through Glasgow’s Òran Mór (£18.50). Up against Beth are Baltimore’s electronica-influenced Lower Dens, touring to support their spectral second LP, Nootropics. On a dream-pop, ketamine Sunday kind of tip, come and get comatose to the ‘Dens at King Tut’s (£9) By 14 Dec, we’re into Festive Extravaganza territory, as all the indie-folk royalty come out of the woodwork and prepare to rock Scotland with their sensitive guitar balladry. At The Glad Café, Olive Grove Records Christmas Party has Randolph’s Leap (profiled this issue in our New Blood feature), alongside multi-instrumentalist Aberdonian songwriter Jo Mango, and The State Broadcasters (£6). The same night, you can catch Sheffield folk duo Slow Club at Òran Mór (£10).

15 Dec is the date of our unmissable gig highlight of the month (see below), but if the cream of Scotland’s indie-rock aren’t your thing (you fool!), why not head along to Tinderbox Fest at Summerhall in Edinburgh, an all-day event with bands, stalls and performances from a whole host of local talent (£12/10). There’s also perennial Skinny favourite Malcolm Middleton, who plays Tut’s in Glasgow on the same night, leaving behind the acclaimed Human Don’t be Angry to showcase tracks from his forthcoming album (£14).

On 19 Dec, De Rosa frontman Martin John Henry rocks it solo at Glasgow’s 13th Note (£5). Back over in Edinburgh, celebrate the end of human history and civilization as we know it (maybe) at a new Edinburgh event called Rally & Broad, which unites music, spoken word and frantic dancing under the banner of ‘art.’ Oh yes. They’ve got apocalyptic doom-crunk merchants Church Of When The Shit Hits The Fan, followed by something they’re calling The Awry Psychegaelic Ceilidh, along with some of Scotland’s finest poets (£5).

On 22 Dec it’s another folk-rock extravaganza, in the form of the Christmas Songwriters Club. It’s a veritable who’s who of Scottish alt.folk and indie, with sets from Withered Hand, Adam Stafford, The Machine Room, We See Lights, Very Well, Eagleowl, John D McIntosh, Easy Tigers, TeenCanteen, Jesus, Baby!, and local hip-hop heroes Stanley Odd. Get thee down to The Queen’s Hall.

Guaranteed no cover versions! (£10).

It’s no lie: December’s a tough one. Record releases begin to slow down, and a lot of touring bands tend to slip into hibernation. You’re going to need some pointers if you want to make it through hell’s winter.

Stoner bros, listen up: Red Fang and El Caco are kicking off your month by piling on the mad riffs. That’s at Ivory Blacks (5 Dec). British black metal lords Anaal Nathrakh meanwhile fall into the more extreme end of the spectrum, favouring brutality and a grind-like pace over petty theatrics.

Watch them transform the Classic Grand into a satanic palace on 7 Dec. Speaking of grind, there’s a whole night dedicated to it at the 13th Note led by Plymouth annihilators Chemical Tomb, featuring performances from Magpyes, Sufferinfuck, Wheelchair x 4 and Corrupt (7 Dec). It’s going to be quite terrifying.

Dad rock legends Thin Lizzy sure as hell don’t keep us waiting, but this time we’ll be bidding them a fond farewell as their last ever tour (so they say) rolls through the HMV Picture House with sludge fiends Black Spiders and classic rock disciples The Treatment (8 Dec). Aussie extremists Deströyer 666 are a true crossover act, rolling old school thrash, violent death metal and atmospheric black metal into their sound. You’ll be able to catch them at Ivory Blacks on the same night.

Difficult decision time: do you witness Swedish doom prophets Katatonia hit the Cathouse with French black metal-influenced shoegazers Alcest?

Or is it off to the Banshee Labyrinth to see Deathwish alumni Birds in Row with a bunch of stellar local noisemakers, i.e. Hunt / Gather, Prelude to the Hunt and Horrors That You’ve Seen? Then again, there’s also Xtra Mile chaosbringers Crazy Arm supported by the gloriously sinister Salò, epic metallers Atreides and emotive punks The Sinking Feeling at the 13th Note. All this on 12 Dec. An unfortunate multi-clash if there ever was one.

One for the prog-nuts: Devin Townsend Project rolls into the O2 ABC on 14 Dec. The ex-Strapping Young Lad frontman may have shed his trademark skullet, but he sure as hell still knows how to pound out ambitious, guest-heavy records. He’s playing with industrial vets Fear Factory and metalcore quartet Sylosis. That’s at the O2 ABC (14 Dec). Local DIY hardcore unit Shields Up have proved on record that they’re ones to watch. This month you’ll be able to literally do that when they play Bannerman’s with the like-minded Cleavers and Bonehouse (15 Dec).

If you’re into female-fronted high-drama, you’ll want to catch symphonic metallers Epica at the Classic Grand. They’re supported by progressive metallers Stream of Passion (15 Dec). A few days before Satan drops doon yer chimney, there’s a great night at the 13th dubbed Winter Solstice, headlined by iconic industrial locals Black Sun, who are helped out by fellow nutcases IO Pan & Noma, Thee Downs and Guanoman (21 Dec). Musick to play in the dark, indeed. [Ross Watson]

It’s been an incredible year for The Twilight Sad – No One Can Ever Know was unleashed back in January, and their distinctive brand of majestic, layered, synth-led rock began to capture hearts and minds up and down the country and worldwide.

Justly acclaimed for their first two albums, which saw them hailed as leading lights in the indie rock continuum, No One Can Ever Know was colder, deeper, and more daring than anything the band had previously attempted. A justly-lauded remix album followed recently, with big – hitters the Horrors, Liars and Com Truise all taking a track. Finishing up 2012 as one of the most talked-about Scottish bands of the year, they welcome doomy rockers Holy Mountain and pop-punkers We Were Promised Jetpacks as support for what is sure to be a barnstorming end-of-year extravaganza at the Barras.

The Twilight Sad

December 2012

THE SKINNY 47

Photo: Euan Robertson

slow club

Photo: Sol Nicol

music

p RE V I E W : L iv e M u s i c

RE V I E W : L iv e M u s i c

Buck 65 / The Levee Strollers King Tut’s, 11 Nov

photo: vito andreoni

rrrrr

Stereo, 17 Nov

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Fellow Invada signings Thought Forms kick off proceedings with a distortion and reverb-drenched squall of grungy, post-rock noise. With their dual guitars and alternating male and female vocals, the Bristol trio evoke Sonic Youth on a shoegaze binge – there is nothing massively original about their sound, but it’s a solid set of effectively-realised sonic chaos.

BEAK> take to the stage with a humble modesty that belies their combined talent and experience – along with Portishead’s Geoff Barrow, who spends most of the gig playing drums and singing, are Matt Loveridge of Team Brick on keyboards, and Billy Fuller of Fuzz Against Junk on bass and guitar. Consummate musos all, the sound they pull off live is jaw-droppingly tight, combining elements of krautrock, new wave,

post-rock, dub and psych-rock.

Barrow’s reverb-drowned howls, intoned, doomy vocals and dynamic, complex drums are the driving pulse of this phenomenally intense performance.

Highlights include a taut, dancefloor-destroying Yatton; a woozily hypnotic The Gaol; and a giallo-synthsoundtrack influenced Egg Dog. But most incendiary moment is a pounding, muscular slab of riffage in the form of Wulfstan II, building to a seemingly endless series of epic, heavy peaks.

With just a few nods to their first album, the band stick pretty close to the tracklist of recent second LP >>, managing to evoke small flashes of everyone from Bauhaus and Joy Division to Can and Faust. The crowd roar their approval. For those hip to BEAK>, tonight is a rare treat; Barrow is arguably at his finest here – backed by two of his closest musical allies. The effect is devastating. [Bram E Gieben]

Swans / Sir Richard Bishop

beakbristol.tumblr.com

The Arches, 16 Nov

Animal Collective O2 ABC, 7 Nov

rrrrr In the past we’ve witnessed Animal Collective wing it with a man down as well as push brand new material on the back of an already shrink-wrapped fresh album. Tonight, the Baltimore quartet play it relatively straight, with Centipede Hz dominating the setlist; a bold move for an album that’s hardly set their fanbase alight.

However, cuts like Wide Eyed and Moonjock possess a raw immediacy that, whilst bolstered by familiarity with the album itself, they perhaps lack in their recorded form. Eventually though, the heavy insistence on Hz material, along with a couple of

www.buck65.com

photo: vito andreoni

BEAK> / Thought Forms

Tonight’s support act are a downhome (although Glaswegian) country and western band called The Levee Strollers. Their enthusiastic but wholly incongruous performance amuses and perplexes in equal proportion, but then Richard ‘Buck 65’ Terfry himself arrives. Consummate showman that he is, he breaks out a rendition of rare track Indestructible Sam, based around a banjo riff and a fat boom-bap beat. Suddenly the support band make perfect sense.

Buck has twenty years in the game – that’s a big back catalogue to choose from. He does it epic justice, performing for two hours, reeling out classics like All There Is To Say About Love, Bandits, and 463 alongside insane rarities and cast-offs like deeply silly

new track NSFW Music Video (“watch for the crotch / little bit of titty, yo”), another rap made entirely of the first lines of sexy spam emails, and a rip-roaring, totally illegal cover of Bronski Beat’s Small Town Boy. In the encore, he finally reveals material from the colder, more melancholy forthcoming album, the beats nodding to dubstep and chillwave. He finishes with rousing and hilarious renditions of Zombie Delight and Centaur (with dance routines), and a remix of Roses and Bluejays featuring samples from Angelo Badalmenti’s Twin Peaks score. With hilarious between-song banter, and a restless, manic energy, performing his own scratch routines and rapping simultaneously, Buck 65 proves once again that when it comes to live shows, he’s the best-value rapper in the business.

[Bram E Gieben]

rrrrr

noodling, spaced-out intermissions, becomes a mite testing. Thankfully the end triumvirate restores the cosmic balance.

Monkey Riches loosens up the sell-out crowd, letting way for a euphoric, elongated Brother Sport and a lazer-sharp Peacebone, Avey Tare emerging from his bunker of synths and pedals to cut a welcome centre-point on the latter. Kicking off the inevitable encore, a call for My Girls is dismissed by Tare as being ‘a bit like meatloaf’; not something you want to indulge in every night. Yet, one song later, they serve up exactly what was ordered, the crowd eagerly eating up their signature tune. There may have been a few gristly mouthfuls, but we leave satiated nonetheless. [Darren Carle]

Michael Gira’s ambitions for this particular live incarnation of Swans are not modest: the set clocks in at around two hours and from the gentle opening – atmosphere drones backing Gira’s affecting baritone – to the tumultous finale, the band chase a shamanic ferocity. But they never quite achieve that ineffable ecstasy, offering moments of brutality (the revisiting of 1980s A Coward is concise terror), galloping joy (The Seer itself) and stretch where they struggle to rise above The Arches’ difficult sound.

Support Sir Richard Bishop is overshadowed by the expectation of Swans: his acoustic strumming follows the experimental Americana (folky but with eastern sounding motifs and a drone sensitivity) introduced by John Fahey in the 1960s. It connects

www.animalcollective.org

to Swans’ interest in folk instrumentation and the extended yet focused improvisation. In some ways, Swans’ set is a more orchestrated version of Bishop’s musical quest, replacing the precision of his picking with a layered majesty.

Swans, however, are at the mercy of The Arches’ idiosyncratic acoustics. Some parts of the room reduce the crunch of the bass to a buzz – elsewhere, a treble hiss distracts from the full tilt attack of the guitars. Many of the more improvised passages reach a monotonous glory, an emphatic and almost spiritual energy, occassionally descending into self-indulgence. The precision of A Coward or the dynamic pulse of The Seer make it clear that this line-up can reach Gira’s vision – tonight, an inconsistency creeps in, leaving them sporadically exciting.

[Gareth K Vile] younggodrecords.com

Bill Wells & Aidan Moffat / Rick Redbeard Cottiers, 7 Nov

48 THE SKINNY

December 2012

Poliça SWG3, 2 Nov

rrrrr photo: beth chalbers

After several years of performing solo with next-tonowt to line his merch stand, Rick Anthony’s Rick Redbeard guise is picking up pace. Debut album This Selfish Heart is coming soon, The Phantom Band frontman promises, and tasters are shared tonight, including its impressive title track. But it’s the willowy beauty of Now We’re Dancing (from the summer’s split EP with Adam Stafford) that reduces the room to its quietest hush, as pew after pew gets swept up in his baritone serenade.

Opening with an especially wistful Tasogare and closing with And So We Must Rest, Bill Wells and Aidan Moffat deliver the still-remarkable Everything’s Getting Older in its entirety across tonight’s set. Where recent shows have involved a full band, tonight is a more intimate setup, with Wells behind his piano, Moffat brushing cymbals, and trumpeter Robert Henderson upping the jazziness of certain tracks with bravura grace notes. Particularly effective are The Copper Top and Dinner Time, the trio’s quiet performance accentuating the former’s pathos and the latter’s tense absurdity splendidly.

In addition, Box It Up and Man of the Cloth appear from Cruel Summer, though in lieu of the EP’s titular Bananarama hit we get a fresh girl group cover, with Stooshe’s Black Heart re-worded to cast Moffat as the coal-souled monster in question – a deliciously louche appropriation that slots

photo: vito andreoni

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nicely into his pop covers repertoire. We’re also introduced to a song reportedly dropped from Everything’s Getting Older for being too chirpy: with an upbeat swing and a whistling coda, it’s certainly conspicuous, though by this juncture, they’ve earned enough trust to take us anywhere.

[Chris Buckle]

It has been observed that Poliça is a band having to go through its adolescence on the road. Started as a studio project by singer Channy Leaneagh and producer Ryan Olson, some lucrative verbal endorsement from the likes of Bon Iver persuaded the duo to become a fleshed out touring reality in a very short space of time, thus enabling them to court the wave of attention they currently enjoy.

Channy’s backing musicians – two drummers and a bassist – are clearly a professional and accomplished musical unit. Recruited as guns-for-hire from the Minneapolis scene and with little time to gel since the band were speedily thrust into the limelight, the percussive duo in particular do an admirable job in translating the faux R&B of Give You The Ghost and giving the live show an added visually engaging element.

Leaneagh’s distinctive vocals pose a potential logistical

stumbling block given the heavy use of auto-tune on record so, live, she processes them through a bank of pedals, tweaking and distorting as she goes. It’s a reasonably successful approach too.

Where tonight’s set falls down is largely in the acoustics of SWG3. The womb-like bass resonance of the room, at the rear especially, masks the considerable number of backing tracks, meaning this becomes largely a case of some very loud drums and vocals and not a lot else, albeit the mix slightly improves towards the end.

As such, much of the underlying melody has to be implied in the listener’s mind from previous experience of the LP. This perhaps also explains why break-out hit Dark Star is the highlight of the set, given its greater familiarity. With her new-wave, hippyish mannerisms, Leaneagh is an amiable and charismatic front-person, but musically Poliça don’t come across as they perhaps should tonight, for reasons partly outwith their control.

[Austin Tasseltine] www.thisispolica.com

records

RE V I E W : S i n g l e s

The Dirty Dozen

Former Ride vocalist and guitarist Mark Gardener sets about December’s singles along with the issue of overblown chorus syndrome and the repetitious strains of Manc rock

ep reviews

interview: Darren Carle photo: colin macdonald

How To Destroy Angels

Jacques Caramac & The Sweet Generation – It Takes All Sorts...

(Everyday Life, 10 Dec) There’s a total Velvets vibe straightaway here, which is fine. It’s not offending me and it’s not completely blowing my mind. It seems a little retro but it’s OK. So, I’m gonna do this out of ten and give this a... six.

An Omen EP Columbia, out now

rrrrr In contrast to the sublime industrial pop melodrama of HTDA’s first EP, An Omen showcases a much more diverse and dynamic sound from the band, managing to riff off of the best of late-period Nine Inch Nails, and simultaneously sound fresh, modern and utterly relevant.

Keep It Together creates a sensual, weed-laced triphop vibe, while On The Wing’s upbeat, stop-start beats and half-heard vocals shimmer and sparkle with an understated, minimalistic pop grace.

The Loop Closes sees the band veer back towards more industrial territory; threatening to build to a heavy climax, it pulls back from the brink before descending into slow-mo electro beeps and clicks.

Speaking in Tongues evokes a similar feel to Reznor and Ross’s soundtrack for The Social Network, but the strangest moment on the EP is without a doubt the wistful, guitar-plucked, post-apocalypse bluegrass lullaby Ice Age. It bodes well for a full-length release, showcasing the quartet’s softer side, and employing admirable and unlooked-for restraint.

[Bram E. Gieben]

Avec Sans – The Answer (Self-Release, 10 Dec) So what does the name mean? Without anything?

That gear-change was a little surprising. I like the vibe of the verse a bit more. It’s quite interesting but the chorus is a bit overblown for me. But I can imagine being in a club, listening to this and thinking ‘this is alright.’ It’s another six for me.

Canterbury – Gloria (Self-Release, 3 Dec) It’s a bit Death Cab For Cutie, which is OK. Hmmm. Again, they’re trying to max [the chorus] out a bit too much. Yeah, it’s losing me now. It started off encouragingly but they’re just trying too hard. So for that, it’s a five. It’s OK, but I’m not amazed by it.

www.howtodestroyangels.com

School of Seven Bells

Dog Is Dead – Teenage Daughter (Atlantic, 10 Dec) This is pretty good. It’s got a nice sound and it’s not so ‘produced.’ It’s more organic and slightly more interesting. I think I could get into this actually. It’s doing the big chorus thing but it’s not too overblown and it’s a nice contrast with the verse. I think I could push up to a seven with this one.

Stereophonics – In A Moment (Stylus Records, 10 Dec) It’s a bit Depeche Mode and I really like some Depeche Mode. At least they’re exploring some new stuff, trying to keep it interesting. There are quite a lot of bands that just repeat the same record time after time. I think Oasis could have taken some chances but then they just weren’t interested in that. I’ll give this a seven. At least they’re keeping it interesting.

The Child Of Love – Heal (Domino, 3 Dec) This has got a nice little drum loop. It’s alright, you’ve picked alright singles so far. I’m not liking it as much as the previous one but it’s picking up well. The only thing that puts me off is the Jack White vocal thing, which I’m a little bit tired of now, but I like the production and I like the groove. I’ll only give it a six because of the vocals but I’d be interested to hear more from them.

Balthazar – The Oldest of Sisters (Play It Again Sam, 17 Dec) This is OK. I like the bass sound and they remind me of a band I sometimes work with, Axel and the Farmers. They’re amazing, but this isn’t doing that much for me really so I’m afraid it’s a five again.

Sorry. It’d be nice to get one now that I really hate...

Woodpecker Wooliams – Gull (Robot Elephant Records, 3 Dec) Fucking hell, what’s that? Woodpecker... Wooliams! I suppose loads of band names have gone

Put Your Sad Down Vagrant, 3 Dec

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so people have to really think now. That’s quite a good one though. It’s got me listening straight away. The voice is a bit odd at the start but I’ve adjusted to it now. Again, I’d be interested to hear more of what’s going on. There’s a bit of Björk in it but it’s not too derivative so that’s OK, but I like Björk anyway. It’s another six from me.

Padded Cell – Guardians of the Night (Different Recordings, 10 Dec) It’s a bit LCD Soundsystem right away, which I approve of. I like the production but I’m not crazy about the vocals. It’s quite groovy, but I’ll have to give it a five. Everything seems to be around that mark for me. Again, it’s definitely not awful but it’s not blowing my mind either so it’s got to be a mid-range mark.

Uberkabook – She’s A Hurricane (Metric Acorn, 3 Dec) Immediately this makes me think of Night Boat to Cairo by Madness. Hmmm, OK. I don’t like it.

It’s lost me totally already. It’s fresh because I just haven’t heard that style, that ska style, and that beat for a while but, I dunno, I don’t like that ‘oi oi oi’ vocal thing. It’s not doing anything for me at all.

I’ll have to give it a two. As it goes on it’s getting even worse. Can you stop it please?

Cayucas – Cayucas (Secretly Canadian, 3 Dec) It’s not doing much for me. His vocals are a bit too reverb-y. There’s a bit of a Shins vibe but it doesn’t do much else for me really. I’ll give it a four for effort. I don’t need to hear any more of it – I know what it’s gonna do.

As the name suggests, the latest EP from Benjamin Curtis and Alejandra Deheza’s neo-shoegaze project represents a shift away from the more melancholy tones of this year’s Ghostory LP. The opening title track, and standout contribution, is among the best things they’ve recorded: a blissful 13-minute journey that channels a euphoric chord progression through Loveless-style lurching guitars and driving beats.

The rest of the EP, while less ambitious, is similarly gorgeous: Faded Heart is a more dreamy, abstract take on Robyn’s lovesick electro-pop; while a cover of the Silver Apples’ Lovefingers augments the minimalist aesthetic of the original with richly layered vocals. Put Your Sad Down, then, imbues the essential sonic elements of Curtis and Deheza’s earlier work with a new, infectious glossiness.

[Sam Wiseman] www.sviib.com

Fiona Soe Paing Tower of Babel EP Black Lantern Music, out now

rrrrr SINGLE OF THE MONTH: Two Fingers – Vengeance Rhythm (Big Dada, 10 Dec) Yeah, immediately I’m nodding my head which is quite a good sign. It feels like the handbrake’s off with this one. It’s got some real danger about it. The best music for me exists on the fringes and that’s why I really like this. Back in my drug-taking days, this is something I’d like to have on in a room, then just walk in and be completely taken away with it [begins a little sit-down dance]. I won’t do that because I’ve got an acoustic show to play tonight.

I’ll give this an eight.

Fiona Soe Paing’s second solo EP is a tough-but-sensual slice of modern electronica. Filtered samples struggle for breath against a stark backdrop of synthetic minimalism and doom-hop detonations, whilst glowering bass stabs circle the mix like hungry vultures. Soe Paing’s extraordinary vocals are really what separate these tracks from the pack though.

Flitting between Burmese and purely improvised vocalisations, these artfully multitracked performances convey urgency, ecstasy and a haunted sense of dislocation. Fans of the Lisa Gerrard school of otherworldy vocal channeling will appreciate what’s going on here, but Soe Paing’s style is uniquely her own. Closer Behrot is probably the best cut here, its sparseness giving Soe Paing enough breathing space to showcase an intimidating Eartha Kitt-like sexiness that lingers in the imagination.

[Mark Shukla] fionasoepaing.bandcamp.com

December 2012

THE SKINNY 49

RE V IEW : ALBUM S

ALBUM OF THE MONTH Dam Mantle

Brothers Fowl NOTOWN, 17 Dec

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Following a slew of well-received EPs for labels like Get Me and his own Growing label, Glasgow-based Dam Mantle returns with an eighttrack mini-album that deftly showcases his chilled, electro-influenced productions. Beginning with the two part suite entitled Canterbury, a vinyl-static and synth-led outing with nods to dub, hip-hop and broken beat, Dam Mantle creates a vibe that places his work in the same bracket as the likes of early Mo Wax pioneers like James Lavelle and Palmskin Productions.

Eschewing the smokers-delight bass and paranoid atmospherics of that nascent trip-hop period in favour of a more sunny, dubbed-out, chillwave ambience, he switches up the mood with a beautiful female vocal on the house-influenced Lifting, and increases the tempo on the jazz-flecked breakbeat of RGB. The title track nods to UKG and 2-step, pairing a high-tempo beat to fluid washes of processed synths and vocals. Closer Spirit again takes cues from jazz percussion, welding an oddly-tuned piano riff to clattering, soft kicks and cymbals. A superbly-crafted collection. [Bram E. Gieben] dammantle.com

Melanin 9

Breathless

Red Snow, 3 Dec

Tenor Vossa, out now

Magna Carta

rrrrr Magna Carta is the debut album from Melanin 9, although he has already gained a great deal of acclaim and recognition for his three mixtapes, Orion’s Stencil (2010), 144,000 (2008) and the blisteringly-intense rhymes and pitch-black production of his Beat Butcha-assisted first appearance, High Fidelity (2008). His contributions to the Triple Darkness album Anathema were the standout tracks, leaving hip-hop fans in the UK and worldwide in no doubt of his talents.

Magna Carta shows a development in his lyrics – his uncompromising, philosophical street poetry ranges farther and cuts deeper than it ever has before, with M9 taking on topics from politics, philosophy and theology without ever sounding academic. Production-wise, the tough, cold-edged, Silver Age-influenced styles of Beat Butcha are missed; but solid, well-produced boom-bap from the likes of Jehst, Anatomy, Parental and others adequately fills the gap. This is an assured, well-produced collection, and hopefully it will see M9 gain recognition well beyond the hip-hop scene. [Bram E. Gieben]

Green to Blue

rrrrr 4AD founder Ivo Watts-Russell is a big fan of Breathless, mentoring their latest opus and describing band leader Dominic Appleton as his favourite living male vocalist.

It’s a shame he didn’t sign them, really – perhaps if they’d been part of his illustrious mid-eighties stable (and certainly, their lightly-gothic, melancholic dream-pop would have fit in nicely amidst the likes of Cocteau Twins and Ivo’s own This Mortal Coil), they’d have a more befittingly prominent public profile.

Yet this oversight has advantages too: chiefly, it perhaps means that the fact they haven’t changed much in thirty years won’t be noticed by newcomers, wooed by their reverb-soaked style for the first time.

Green to Blue (emphasis on blue) is an unwaveringly forlorn listen, and at seventy minutes, is possibly more funereal glumness than anyone needs in a single sitting. But it’s nevertheless an enveloping experience, one that deserves to kick-start a wider (re)appreciation of the band’s oft-overlooked talents. [Chris Buckle] www.tenorvossa.co.uk

www.melanin9.com

Christ.

Cathexis Motion Picture Soundtrack Parallax Sounds, Out Now

rrrrr It’s extremely unfair that nearly every single mention of Scottish producer Christ. is prefaced with the fact that he is a former member of Boards of Canada. Look, we just did it again. On Cathexis Motion Picture Soundtrack, the soundtrack to a forthcoming Japanese anime, he again shows convincingly why he deserves acclaim and recognition in his own right. The cold, industrial-ambient soundscapes and electro workouts he has created have little or nothing in common with the sun-drenched psychedelica of BoC – as is often the case, the work of Christ. is more robotic, darker in tone, and much more wilfully abstract.

Highlights include the sprawling, sub-bass heavy electro of Zeroth Law, replete with shimmering beams of analogue synth, and the claustrophobic dub techno of Singular, lined with static pops and crackles, echoing piano and melancholy synth-string arrangements. Finishing with the sprawling, immaculately layered, hip-hop-influenced Kardashev Type One, Cathexis is perhaps the most accessible and impressive Christ. release since ‘07’s Blue Shift Emissions. [Bram E. Gieben]

Scott Walker

The Scantharies

Ariya Astrobeat Arkestra

4AD, 3 Dec

Memphis Industries, 3 Dec

First Word Records, 3 Dec

Bish Bosch

rrrrr Many felt that Scott Walker’s curious investigation into the outer limits of contemporary songcraft had reached its ultimate culmination with his harrowing 2006 LP, The Drift, and to some extent Bish Bosch does feel like it resides in the shadow of that record. Again Walker’s reference-heavy lyrics serve as the fulcrum as musical phrases lurch and splutter forward before dissolving back into an opulent ground of inky silence.

But whilst Walker’s vocal and lyrical indulgences on The Drift were kept in check by a robust musicality and overarching sense of grim momentum, the music of Bish Bosch often seems to be operating at a distance from the lyrics that float above it; frequently giving the impression that one is listening to a particularly deranged one-man radio play. There’s plenty of spectacular moments to be enjoyed (Phrasing and Epizootics! are vivacious highlights) but a fair stretch of the album’s 73 minutes feels frustratingly monotonous. [Mark Shukla] 4ad.com/artists/scottwalker

Various

The Ambient Zone: Just Music Cafe Volume 4 Just Music, 10 Dec

rrrrr The latest installment in the Just Music Cafe compilation series gathers contributions from artists across the globe, responding to a commission to compose music ‘around universal themes of calmness, purity, relaxation and enrichment.’ If it sounds like we’re veering into Pan Pipe Moods territory, that suspicion is only bolstered by the label’s emphasis on the award given to Marconi Union’s opening contribution, Weightless, by TimeMagazine, which officially declared it ‘the world’s most relaxing song.’

It’s a shame that even ambient’s champions tend to emphasise the genre’s chillout qualities, because to do so diminishes the broad emotional spectrum explored on a collection like The Ambient Zone.

The contributions from Echaskech and Laki Mera, in particular, have a sense of definition and narrative development that transcends the kind of shapeless nebulosity with which beatless instrumental music is often associated. The Ambient Zone is undeniably calming and relaxing; but don’t let that put you off. [Sam Wiseman]

50 THE SKINNY

December 2012

The Scantharies

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Towards Other Worlds

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On paper, The Scantharies is a somewhat eccentric project: Andy Dragazis, an Anglo-Greek songwriter, set out to create a greatest hits compilation for an imaginary ‘70s Greek garage rock outfit. Despite its convoluted backstory, however, the LP’s earlier tracks have a playful, accessible quality; and Dragazis’ ear for an infectious, treble-heavy riff, particularly on songs like The Start and Feat of Flames, ensures that The Scantharies is of more than merely conceptual interest.

As the LP progresses, the droning organs and slower tempos of Hip Messiah and The Cross evince a purported descent into drug-fuelled acrimony; a progression that lends ballast to Dragazis’ underpinning idea, but also creates a less desirable sense of petering out into blandness and obscurity. The Scantharies, in other words, is a success if measured by its own stated concept; but given the familiarity of the narrative it charts, that very success can make it a wearying listen.

[Sam Wiseman]

The second LP from Leeds’ Ariya Astrobeat Arkestra continues where their self-titled 2010 debut left off; the nine-piece’s musical ancestry remains clearly in evidence, but the sheer diversity of those influences means that Towards Other Worlds doesn’t quite sound like anyone in particular. The outfit’s complex blueprint marries the narcotic rhythms of Fela Kuti with the epic conceptualism and improvisation of cosmic jazz; while funk-driven wah-wah guitars make an appearance on the title track.

Despite the Arkestra’s canny assimilation and manipulation of influences, however, Towards Other Worlds can feel lacking in emotional intensity. This may be because its underlying concept – the first half representing the frustrations and conflict of earth, the second yearning towards a utopian cosmos – feels like a less-developed take on the worldview of forebears like Sun Ra. Despite this, however, the adeptness with which the LP’s complex tapestry of influences is woven together remains impressive. [Sam Wiseman]

www.thescantharies.com

www.firstwordrecords.com/artists/ariya-astrobeat-arkestra

Menagerie

Gallops

Tru Thoughts, 10 Dec

Blood and Biscuits, 10 Dec

They Shall Inherit

rrrrr Lance Ferguson has already demonstrated the eclecticism of his influences, in projects ranging from Lanu’s lounge-pop to his main concern, funk outfit The Bamboos. Menagerie sees the Melbourne-based New Zealander tackle a new realm: spiritual jazz; While there is a fresh musical palette here, in which sax, flute and piano predominate, the mood of They Shall Inherit carries similarly laid-back, coffee-table vibes to much of Ferguson’s other work. Forays into traditional jazz are dangerous for the inexperienced, but Ferguson’s enlistment of saxophonist Philip Noy – whose sax is reconfigured to match John Coltrane’s settings – papers over some of Inherit’s limitations; while a guest appearance from the legendary vibraphonist Roy Ayers, on Leroy and the Lion, provides some welcome sonic variety. For all of its professionalism, however, the LP remains stubbornly bland, generic and unadventurous, suggesting that Ferguson has overstepped the limits of his impressive versatility on this occasion. [Sam Wiseman] www.lanceferguson.com.au

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Hardcore

rrrrr On their debut LP, Wrexham’s Gallops begin from an instrumental math-rock setup, before carrying their sound into more idiosyncratic territories. Like Battles, the quartet underpin their precise, hyperactive fretwork and intricate percussion with a dancefloor sensibility; but although both acts draw upon contemporary electronica, there are some unfamiliar influences and combinations at play here. Lasers, for example, adapts the dancemath blueprint to driving 4/4 techno, before descending into a Sonic Youth-esque fog of melodic feedback.

The avowed influence of acts including Arvo Pärt and John Carpenter goes some way to explaining Hardcore’s distinctiveness.

While the LP lacks the emotional intensity such comparisons suggest – remaining instead within a playful, excitable register – it does have a proggy sense of mystery and theatricality, particularly in the doomladen synth chords of Hongliday and Skyworth. Ultimately, the results expand math-rock’s possibilities, while avoiding the imaginative cul-de-sac of virtuosity for its own sake. [Sam Wiseman]

RE V I E W : A L B U M S

Fairhorns

St Deluxe

Sunbutler

Invada, out now

Dream Machine, 3 Dec

American Patchwork / Darla, Out Now

Doki Doki Run

rrrrr Matt Loveridge of Team Brick and BEAK> is a veteran Invada player, one of the core constituents of the label run by Portishead’s Geoff Barrow. On this solo release, his first under the Fairhorns alias, krautrock influences are pushed even further to the fore on opener Ragnarok, where a pulsing new wave bassline underpins shimmering swathes of analogue synth and distant, smudged vocals.

Doki Doki You’re Fucking Dead continues that pattern, this time with a slow jam that hides minimal beatwork under layers of drone guitar and washed-out organ notes. Worried Thrum brings in a more chopped, glitch-y electronica influence to the beats, as fuzz-drenched howls of guitar feedback mask a downbeat, proto-industrial vocal, culminating in a speaker-threatening wash of distortion. Puking is a lo-fi soundclash between churning post-punk and stabs of static-infected synth. Despite a more meandering, but no less intriguing second half, this is a strong first outing for Loveridge’s latest pseudonym.

[Bram E. Gieben]

Smashing Pumpkins

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness [Deluxe Edition] EMI, 3 Dec

rrrrr This extravagant reissue takes Mellon Collie’s greatness as given and adopts a warts-and-all approach for the bonus tracks, placing instrumental jams and scrappy alt-takes side-to-side with unheard curios and cleaned-up demos. The presence of tweaked cuts from The Aeroplane Flies High (itself soon to be reissued) and a couple of joints from James Iha’s solo album confirm that while the Pumpkins’ vaults are deep, they’re not that deep.

Thankfully the album proper is in fine fettle: the remaster is a little louder and brighter, with some of the woolly low end on tracks like Ode to No One having been tightened up nicely. The album still delivers thrills and chills in equal measure, and though Corgan’s lyrics have taken some flack over the years, to our ears they stand up surprisingly well, more often than not coming off like a knowingly theatrical dramatisation of the trials of youth rather than the sixth-form angst they’re so often characterised as. [Mark Shukla] www.smashingpumpkins.com

Sunbutler

Born Into Flame

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rrrrr Welcome back St Deluxe, the well-connected Glasgow scuzz rockers with a penchant for pop hooks and heavy guitars. Their 2009 debut attracted some celebrity fans in the shape of Alan McGee and Stuart Braithwaite, and anyone who enjoyed that record is likely to find much to satisfy here.

The quartet are at their best when things are kept snappy; a re-recorded version of After the Fire sounds sublime, and still sounds fresh despite first surfacing more than two years ago. Yet the slowerpaced, more contemplative I Know How You Feel lacks that punchy dynamism; its extended guitar breaks steer dangerously close to the more testing limits of shoegaze.

Excitement levels are thankfully restored by miniature Dinosaur Jr sounding epics such as Your Blood, which has to be ear-splitting when played live. Ultimately, Born Into Flame is a record for fans of Sub Pop and Fender Jaguars; if you, like many others, believe that guitar music peaked in 1991, you’re going to fall hard for this. [Chris McCall]

Made using just five sounds from an old FM synthesiser, and worked on remotely by Joe Howe (aka Ben Butler & Mousepad / Germlin / Gay Against You) and collaborator Momus (one of Scotland’s most celebrated avant-garde songwriters), Sunbutler is a deceptively simple record; their second together. At first listen, Sunbutler feels oddly throwaway, but repeat listens reveal complex themes and lyrical concerns on tracks like Heliopolis and Spinoza. Howe’s beats and melodies are both imaginative and fresh, sounding Nintendo without resorting to 8-bit clichés.

Momus sounds curiously like Ian Dury. Part spoken word, part singing, his delivery is restrained and hushed, almost whispered in parts. Howe’s gentle, wonky electronic funk is used as a backdrop for a poetic pseudo-travelogue on The Foreigner, while So What? strays close to disco territory. By no means will this appeal to everyone – but moments like the gentle robo-funk of Bodypop, or the strange, ethereal synth-pop of Glitterships, ensure that followers of either artist will find something to cherish. [Bram E. Gieben]

Various Artists

Martin Rossiter

RE:PEATER, Watts of Goodwill, Stereo, 3 Dec

Drop Anchor Music, 26 Nov

Some Songs Side-By-Side

The Defenestration of St Martin

rrrrr Jointly assembled by a trio of labels, with 22 tracks across four sides of vinyl and artwork from eight different artists, this endeavour is evidently more than just ‘some songs side-by-side.’ But the box set’s matter-of-fact title acknowledges an important truth: the effort’s worth nowt if the music lining its grooves doesn’t excite. But for its full 77-minute duration, Some Songs… most certainly does.

All involved shine: Tut Vu Vu open with an unhinged fusion that prods the amygdala and gets into your bones; Palms deliver a trio of raw garage cuts including threatening come-on Blood; while The Rosy Crucifixion’s rock 'n' roll sashay is a sucker punch of reverb and rockabilly rhythms. But with Organs of Love, Gummy Stumps, Sacred Paws, Muscles of Joy, and Jacob Yates and the Pearly Gate Lock Pickers completing the set, there are no weak links, only a bold print reminder of just how good Glasgow’s got it. [Chris Buckle]

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Album launch at Stereo, Glasgow on 29 Nov

Eight years since the curtain came down on Gene, Martin Rossiter has lost none of his earnestness or theatricality. Grandly opening the grandly titled The Defenestration of St Martin with a ten-minute ballad, his melancholic croon is as bruised and brooding as ever, even if the song’s subject matter (a bitter indictment of poor parenting, anchored by the line “the only thing I got from you was my name”) leaves him sounding overwrought by the end.

But though unashamedly emotional, he’s self-aware with it, as proven by the tongue-in-cheek melodrama of I Must Be Jesus, in which the tortured narrator wallows in self-pity and compares his suffering to Christ prostrate on the cross. The simplicity of the arrangements (almost exclusively piano and voice throughout) will undoubtedly limit the album’s appeal, with only negligible variety in sound and a terminally stark tone, but the eloquence and elegance of the songwriting is undeniable. [Chris Buckle]

www.soundcloud.com/some-songs-side-by-side

www.facebook.com/martinrossiter

Sinkane

A Band Called Quinn

The Douglas Firs

City Slang, 17 Dec

Tromolo Records, out now

Armellodie, 10 Dec

MARS

rrrrr Wiping the slate of less distinctive past releases, Sinkane (Sudanese New Yorker Ahmed Abdullahi Gallab) presents MARS as a re-boot debut – a fresh start with a refreshed sound. A multi-instrumentalist of some renown (having previously played with Of Montreal, Caribou and Eleanor Friedberger, amongst others), Gallab’s utilised his connections well, coaxing contributions from a number of peers.

Yeasayer’s Jason Trammell occupies the drum stool for several tracks (with bassist Ira Wolf Tuton joining in for Jeeper Creeper’s rolling space-funk); Ann Arbour afro-beat collective NOMO chip in horns on occasion, with Lovesick’s coda especially vibrant; while a smokin’ guitar solo from George Lewis Jr (aka Twin Shadow) ensures Making Time is a super-slick highlight. But Gallab never allows himself to be shunted out of the spotlight, guiding MARS though a diverse but complementary assortment of genres (the disco-funk of wah-wah workout Runnin’; the title track’s abstract jazz) with skilled selfassurance. [Chris Buckle]

Various Artists

Whatever Gets You Throught the Night Biphonic Records, Out Now

rrrrr Having cycled through theatre and film iterations, Cora Bissett, David Greig and Swimmer One multimedia Whatever Gets You through the Night project arrives in album form. And despite being partial by nature, it never sounds incomplete thanks to savvy sequencing and a consistently high standard of contributions.

With the wee small hours as inspiration, we get agony (Meursault’s wracked A Kind of Cure) and ecstasy (Wounded Knee and Bigg Taj’s Live at the Bongo Club, built from muffled beatboxed beats and background chatter); melancholia (Rachel Sermanni’s Lonely Taxi, 2am) and drunken munchies (Eugene Kelly’s droll Chips and Cheese) – a breadth of moods as varied as human experience, combining neatly into a vivid nocturnal tapestry.

Other peaks include Errors’ Embassy Approach, with eccentricities cut from the same cloth as Have Some Faith in Magic; Ricky Ross’s plaintive The North Star; and Withered Hand’s horn-backed bittersweet bookends, which bracket the anthology’s nighttime sketches splendidly. [Chris Buckle]

Red Light Means Go

The Furious Sound

rrrrr A Band Called Quinn’s third album was ready for release three years ago, but other projects delayed its arrival until now. With such a lengthy build-up, this inadvertent time capsule perhaps inevitably feels like an anti-climax, the talents of those involved having been channelled in more interesting directions in the interim. Nonetheless, the components all gel nicely, and Louise Quinn’s voice is as resplendent as ever, its pure tones more than capable of carrying mediocre material.

Unfortunately, it has to do so with regrettable frequency, and even on the tracks that do more-or-less hit the mark – soulful torch song Gene I’m Starting to Remember; the sassy Sayonara; Can You Swim?’s gentle sway – Quinn invites monotony by adding superfluous repeats of every chorus, sabotaging otherwise concise pop songs by overstretching them. Proficient but never spectacular, Red Light Means Go isn’t an embarrassment, but nor does it shower its creators in glory. [Chris Buckle]

rrrrr Albums about the superstitious persecution of woman are like buses, it seems. A month after Darren Hayman’s The Violence set the witch trials of 17th century Essex to song, The Douglas Firs’ second album The Furious Sound takes inspiration from the earlier North Berwick trials, which resulted in the deaths of around 70 people. Where Hayman weaved accessible narratives, Neil Insh’s project spins out into broader themes and more testing musical terrain, with a sepulchural atmosphere no doubt augmented by the decision to record in darkened woodlands and castle dungeons.

There are mysteries layered throughout its droning, drifting duration; unsettling and insidious on certain tracks (the incantational Devils), gentle on others (the instrumental Black Forest), and always extremely evocative. Like debut Happy as a Windless Flag, The Furious Sound surrenders its secrets slowly but surely, its spectral hymns crafted with great care and likely to haunt thoughts for some time. [Chris Buckle] www.thedouglasfirs.co.uk

Album launch at st augustine's church, edinburgh 14 dec

Steve Adey

The Tower of Silence Grand Harmonium Records, out now

rrrrr It’s taken Edinburgh-based songwriter Steve Adey six years to follow up debut album All Things Real, for reasons ranging from tropical maladies to obsessive studio tinkering. While the former militating factor is unfortunate, the latter has paid off nicely, with the bubbling soundscapes of opener A Few Seconds Have Passed establishing The Tower of Silence’s beautifully delicate production.

It’s followed by the sparse and majestic Laughing, its slowcore sadness lifted by the tender interplay between Adey’s rich baritone and the soothing embrace of Helena MacGlip’s background vocals. Just Wait Till I Get You Home reappears from last year’s These Resurrections EP, its steady splendour no less impactful, while With Tongues ventures into new celestial territories, with choral harmonies and electronic blips offering a mid-point breather from the concentrated emotions threaded elsewhere. Unrushed and uncluttered, The Tower of Silence is an album to drink in slowly.[Chris Buckle]

The Top five 1

2

Dam mantle

Brothers fowl

Various artists

some songs side by side

3

the furious sound

4

mars

5

the douglas firs sinkane various artists

whatever gets you through the night

www.thetowerofsilence.com

December 2012

THE SKINNY 51

Music Specialist & Audio Emporium

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DECEMBER 2012

£5 Advance (bar & Tickets Scotland) / £7 on the door

Xmas dinners from Meathammer Ltd. 2 courses: Xmas Burgers (meat & veggie optioNs) and dessert £12.95

music

NEW BLOOD

Leap’s Year

As an eventful 2012 winds down, we get acquainted with Adam Ross of indie-folk ensemble Randolph’s Leap to discuss albums, ‘proper’ albums, and the perks of Fence patronage Interview: Chris Buckle When Randolph’s Leap christened their 2010 debut EP Battleships and Kettle Chips, they did so with the utmost innocence. “It was weird – I had no idea ‘kettle chips’ was a brand name,” protests founder and frontman Adam Ross. “I thought it was just like ‘crinkle-cut’ or ‘ridge cut’…” So when Kettle Foods Inc. got in touch, Ross naturally assumed the worst. But, in a warming tale of corporate kindness, the company’s response was less litigious than feared. “I was worried we were going to get a cease-and-desist ordering us to stop using their brand name, but they sent us some crisps instead. I will mention that they were almost out-of-date-crisps” Ross adds, lest we get too rosy an impression of the gesture. “We had 32 bags I think – which was a lot of crisps to eat in one week before they went stale…”

Luckily, Ross wasn’t left to tackle this potato mountain alone. A six-piece at the time of Battleships and Kettle Chips, and with a brass section since recruited to bring membership up to eight, Randolph’s Leap has gradually become a manyspoked wheel with Ross the de facto hub. The Nairn-raised songwriter first performed under the name in 2006, and now uses the moniker for both solo ventures and full-band activities. “The idea initially was to take on loads of people so that, on a good day, we can have eight people playing, but then the rest of the time have [whoever’s available],” he explains. “I thought if somebody can’t make it, it wouldn’t matter. But what I found is that whenever we have a rehearsal and somebody isn’t there, you really notice it. Everyone else in the band is a great musician, so they always add something.” Everyone else? So he’s exempting himself from that? “Er, yeah…” Ross nods. “Three chords and a capo is all I know.”

The complete roster currently stands at Gareth Robert Perrie (keyboards), Vicki Cole (bass), Iain Taylor (drums), Andrew MacLellan (cello), Heather Thikey (violin), Ali Hendry (trumpet) and Fraser Gibson (trombone) – any plans for further expansion? ”No, it would be stupid,” Ross laughs. “I mean, it’s stupid to have eight people in the first place.

The logistics of trying to do a tour at the moment, it wouldn’t work, I don’t think – financially, and in terms of everybody getting time off work, stuff like that. We did a gig in London recently, but that’s as

far as we’ve gone. So it has its downsides.”

When asked how playing with seven other bodies onstage compares with going it alone, Ross’s preference is clear. “The times I enjoy it most is when the band are just making a racket, and I don’t really need to think about what I’m doing,” he smiles. “During a solo gig or a quiet one, it’s much more nerve-racking because you can hear every cough and every little whisper or comment in the background. Whereas with the full band, the whole audience might be chatting but you don’t know cause you can get lost in your own wee world and pretend you’re Bob Dylan or whoever. If you get a good solo gig it’s great, but they’re a lot harder to pull off – especially when people don’t know who you are. I mean, yeah, if you had thousands of adoring fans who came up and hung on to your every word it’d be great, but most of the time we’re playing to new audiences, and it’s harder to make an impression or create an atmosphere when you’re on your own and terrified.

The full band gigs tend to give me a bit more confidence.”

“Three

chords and a capo is all I know” Adam Ross Judging by the recently-released Hermit 7” (the first Randolph’s Leap release to feature the full eight-piece), this confidence translates well to tape. In place of the (to appropriate a lyric of Ross’s) “endearingly shambolic” sound of past releases is a more polished and muscular dynamic; when second track Mutiny releases a blast of distorted guitars and keys, the volume is unexpected but invigorating. “Once we brought the brass in it kind of lifted everything,” says Ross. “It took us up a notch in terms of noise levels. We used to not let Iain play with sticks – very occasionally we’d let him do a gig with sticks, but never a rehearsal as we’d all be deaf by the end of it. Andy has recently been playing electric guitar as well, which seems to work… basically, we’ve become a bit louder, there’s a bit more energy to it.”

One thing that has remained a constant are the lyrics, which are as intelligent, witty and perceptive as ever (“no man is an island but an archipelago/ is something I could aim for if you’d only let me go”). Ross names Ivor Cutler, Jonathan Richman and Stephin Merritt as key influences in the development of his own distinct lyrical voice.

“I’m not comparing myself to any of them, but these are the kind of people that I listened to and something clicked,” he says. “I was like, oh yeah, you don’t have to necessarily sing about being in love with your best friend or being really depressed.” Instead, Ross sings about underdogs and hangovers, feeling squeamish and pretending to luge in the bath, an array of subjects sometimes serious, sometimes silly, but always smartly and affectingly phrased.

Released as part of Fence Records’ Buff Tracks EP series, Hermit caps a year spent under the nurturing wing of the Fife collective (“Just being at Away Game was one of the highlights of the year,” Ross enthuses). For the EP’s sold-out launch gig in October, the support slot was filled by a “songwriter’s circle” of Fence-associates led by label chieftain Johnny Lynch – a show of peer support that Ross still seems pretty chuffed by. “Having been a massive, massive Fence fan for years, that was pretty surreal,” he says. “It was Johnny, Ziggy from FOUND, and Dave from Kid Canaveral taking it in turns to play. They totally upstaged us.”

In addition to Hermit, 2012 saw a wealth of other recordings released under the Randolph’s Leap banner, including two home-recorded albums, each with its own distinct style: the lo-fi cassette hiss of Randolph’s Leap and the Curse of the Haunted Headphones, which mixed acoustic folk with jaunty electro interludes; and the even more stripped-back As Fast as a Man, nine home recordings featuring Ross and Thikey only. Then there’s The Way of the Mollusc, another nine new tracks packaged with Introducing, a compilation of songs featured on previous EPs. That’s a lot of material in one year. “It’s partly the result of taking the lo-fi route a lot of the time, where it’s more instantaneous,” Ross shrugs. “If I’ve got some songs in my head, I can just record them and put them out… I think it’s quite useful nowadays to be able to do that. I think we’ve kind of got it lucky,

because of the kind of music we make. The sonic properties don’t have to be at a certain level, it’s more about just the general feeling of the words or whatever, so you don’t have to spend loads recording it. It’s weird though, because people say we’re prolific but we’ve never released, like, a proper album.”

By a ‘proper’ album, Ross means one involving the full band – something they’re currently in the midst of recording. “We’re almost a third of the way there. Having done really, really lo-fi stuff at home that sounds mince, and then having gone to Chem19 to record the Fence EP, our album should be somewhere in between. We’re doing it with Pete [MacDonald] from The State Broadcasters, at his house. I enjoy recording there, without worrying about deadlines and stuff. Chem19 was great, but I was really stressed out, watching the clock the whole time. So it’s nice to be able to take our time over it.”

Randolph’s Leap round out their year with a couple of Christmas parties: the Olive Grove Records shindig at the Glad Café on 14 Dec, and Kid Canaveral’s Christmas Baubles event on Dec 22, where they’ll play alongside Malcolm Middleton, Meursault and many more. Then they’ll welcome in the New Year at Mono’s Hogmanay party (alongside Johnny Lynch and as-yetunannounced special guests), before commencing an already busy 2013. “We’re playing a gig at the Queen’s Hall in Edinburgh [16 Feb] which seems pretty daunting cause it’s huge,” Ross laughs nervously. “We’re going to maybe try and have a single ready just before that, and then the album…

I don’t know, before summer, hopefully. We’ll just see what happens with that.”

With the crisp windfall engendered by Battleships and Kettle Chips in mind, The Skinny asks whether they’ve considered any copyright-infringing titles for the album. After some pondering, Ross offers a trio of options: Plasma Screens & Levi Jeans and Hazelnut Lattes & Maseratis beckon the more lucrative endorsements. “Although truthfully,” he concludes, I’d be happy with Waterproof Coats & Scott’s Porridge Oats.”

Randolph’s Leap play Olive Grove Records Christmas Party at The Glad Cafe, Glasgow on 14 Dec and Christmas Baubles III at The Caves, Edinburgh on 22 Dec www.randolphsleap.bandcamp.com

December 2012

THE SKINNY 53

clubs

PREVIEWS

CLUBBING HIGHLIGHTS WORDS: OMAR J KUDOS ILLUSTRATION: STUDIO MONIK

OPTIMO

on 12 Dec for some live sets from hip-hop heroes Hector Bizerk and The Girobabies at The Flying Duck. And it’s only a quid, so you’ve nae excuse for missing it!

Back in Edinburgh on 14 Dec, the Edinburgh School of Art hosts its annual Xmas Party, with spots from local DJs NoFace and Zzzap, and muckty-big video projections and art murals. Get your multimedia on at ECA (£10/12). There’s also a chance for those of the techno-loving persuasion who have been faithfully attending Unseen for the last few months to check out the competition, as Edinburgh Tekno Cartel (ETC) throw a ‘speedos and suntans’ party at the Wee Red Bar (£7 / £5 in fancy dress). There are two hot tickets in Glasgow on Sat 15 – a DJ set from The Twilight Sad at their official

BEN SIMS

21 DECEMBER, 2012 raises something of an issue for a magazine that deals in event listings – will the world end, as predicted by the Mayans, or will we all roll through the prophesied apocalypse and out the other end, into a festive season of Baileysthemed hedonism and turkey-based excess?

One thing is certain – if the world does end, the second half of this column is going to seem pretty redundant. Regardless, we soldier forward, to take a look at December’s clubbing highlights.

Although many clubs are on a festive break, a great many more have special events planned for the Christmas and New Year period, kicking off with The Unseen Masquerade on 7 Dec. Techno revivalists Unseen are throwing a masked ball at Studio 24, with residents Neil Templar and Patrick Walker joined by Substance resident Gavin Richardson (£7 / £5 in a mask). If techno is proving a trifle simplistic for you, why not get yourself down to Henry’s Cellar bar for Shake Yer Shoulders, where the 4-4 pulse will be replaced by Amen breaks and cries of “Junglist!” as they throw a party they are calling Invasion of the Jungle Soldiers (£5). Over in Glasgow, Optimo celebrate their 15th birthday

54 THE SKINNY

DECEMBER 2012

with an epic bash at Sub Club (£8 / £10 after 12), while Bigfoot celebrate their 4th birthday with a guest spot from turntablist Christian Burkhardt at SWG3 (£10). Meanwhile the final Death Disco takes place at The Arches, with guest Jacques Lu Cont (Les Rhythmes Digitales) showing them out in fine electro style (£10 adv.).

Back in Edinburgh on 8 Dec, rubber fetishists and dungeon-dwellers will be pleased to hear of the return of Torture Garden to The Caves (£18). It’s a night that’s as much about seeing and being seen as it is about music, so be sure to dig out your best PVC and don’t forget your cock-ring. Those of a less cyber-goth bent would do well to check out graffitiwranglers the Too Much Fun Club, who take over Studio 24 for a night of live art games and hip-hop beats (£TBC). Over in Glasgow on 8 Dec, it’s that time again – Wrong Island return to Sleazy’s for another night of genre-spanning good times with residents Teamy and Larry (£3). Check out our DJ chart from Teamy opposite!

Staying in the west, a brief mention for new student night Crayola, whose stock-in-trade is techno and acid, but who open their doors early

afterparty, taking place at The Flying Duck (£5 / £3 with ticket from the gig). The Arches meanwhile has French electro-pop maestro Madeon, who concludes his UK tour with a special 5am-licensed gig (£15).

And so, inevitably, we come to the End of the World – on 21 Dec, you can choose where to spend your (potentially) final moments from a range of themed events, including Qabalala! whose Xmas party at the Leith Cricket Club features live music from The Tide Inside, White Lightnin’ and OPUL, plus DJ sets from Ray Gun and Tall Paul (£3). Over at the newly-refurbed and named Base, on the Cowgate, anarcho-noise troublemakers Terror host a bash with hardcore and tough-edged d'n'b from Al Twisted, Autonome, the aptly-named Noizy as Fuck and DMC champion Richie Rufftone (£3).

Over in the West, you can choose from Sensu at the

HANS BOUFFMYHRE

JEFF MILLS

Sub Club, who welcome a special (and secret) guest (£TBC), the bass madness that is Bad News, returning to Chambre 69 with guest spots from Boddika and Randomer (£8/10), and the Electric Frog Xmas Party, which has the jaw-dropping techno lineup of Jeff Mills, Hans Bouffmyhre, Lindsay Green, and fresh-faced Glasgow up-and-comers Slam (we’re kidding of course, y’all know about Slam... tickets are £15).

Staying with Slam, or at least with their label, you can go and dance off your hangover at the Soma Boxing Day bash on 26 Dec – get yourself down to Chambre 69 for sets from local lads Vince Watson and Funk D’Void (£12). For more post-Xmas shenanigans, check out Bristol’s Eats Everything as he reinvents house music for C21 at the Sub Club on

FUNK D'VOID

28 Dec (£TBC), or enjoy the Detroit techno goodies on offer as Derrick Carter visits Subculture on 29 Dec (£TBC), joining residents Harri & Domenic at the Sub Club. Alternatively, check out some local techno talent at Orderly Disorder – they’re throw ing a 4th birthday at Audio (£5/6.50). Edinburgh offers the Jackhammer 11th birthday celebrations on 29 Dec (at the Liquid Room), with Jeff Mills popping through to join Ben Sims and the ever-ubiquitous Slam (do they ever sleep? Tickets £15).

There are, naturally, a whole host of Hogmanay bashes taking place on 31 Dec – we’ve produced a full guide to the festivities, which you can find near the front of the magazine! Happy holidays everyone – stay safe, party hard, and if the world doesn’t end, we’ll see you back here in January. Brrrrrrap!

CHECK OUT OUR HOGMANAY HIGHLIGHTS IN LISTINGS

DERRICK CARTER

RE V I E W : P RE V I E W S

S

DJ Chart: Bollywood Disco with Teamy (Wrong Island)

Y

This month’s DJ Chart comes from Wrong Island resident and legendary Glasgow scenester Teamy, who brings us a specialist selection of Bollywood Disco classics!

IM O P

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I’m one of those proper nerds who goes searching for great music of the past, from around the world, rather than new music. I find myself sheepishly shrugging my shoulders at ‘new’ artists like Flo Rida (I even had to Google that to ensure I’d spelled it right). However this does mean I have a great knowledge of genres most people haven’t heard of, and my specialist subject is Bollywood Disco.

I play at least one track of this genre every Wrong Island and get people asking what the track name was every time – obviously it’s hard to communicate the name Bappi Lahiri to a drunk person at 2.30am, so here’s a list of my Top 10 Bollywood Disco tracks. You should be able to find most of them on my YouTube playlist, alongside others.

Teamy’s Bollywood Disco Playlist: Jab Chhaye Mera Jadoo – Asha Bhosle I like the slightly O.T.T. nature of Bollywood disco, this one isn’t as crazy as some though.

Great rhythmic intro and the fantastic vocals of Bollywood legend Asha Bhosle.

Raat Aaye Raat Jaye – Asha Bhosle & Bappi Lahiri From the Bollywood Western Wanted – a proper oddity with a Billie Jean bassline rip-off alongside Ennio Morricone The Good, the Bad and the Uglytype soundtrack music.

Inteha Ho Gagi Intezaar Ki – Kishore Kumar It takes four minutes to get out of the Bachaan ballad bit then suddenly fires off into a pretty obvious steal from the Three Degrees’ The Runner (this is a very common theme of most Bappi Lahiri disco tracks, though he claims to merely have been ‘influenced’ by the orignals).

Jimmy Aaja – Parvati Khan M.I.A. sampled this for the best track on her Kala album. To be fair she doesn’t really do much to it, but that’s a blessing as far as I’m concerned.

Boom Boom Dil Bole Boom – Nazia Hassan Another pretty obvious rip-off, this time of I Feel Love (another one coming up too) by Pakistani Superstar Nazia Hassan.

Ramba Ho-ho-ho Samba Ho-ho-ho – Usha Uthup & Bappi Lahiri The track that started off this weird obsession of mine. A heady combo of I Feel Love, a Gibson Brothers’ song I can never remember the name of, and traditional percussion that sounds very much like Hot Chip.

image by Garry McLennan

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Teamy- Wrong Island DJs

THURSDAYS 6•12 XY RESIDENTS 13•12 DJ TSATSU (SOULSVILLE) 20•12 MARINELLO & MACLEOD (THIS IS MUSIC) 27•12 THEO KOTTIS (WE OWN)

Chhupke Kaun Aya – Usha Uthup This is a straight up and very well copied cover of Don’t Stop 'Till You Get Enough: I love playing it out and seeing the instant combination of recognition followed by confusion when Usha Uthup starts singing the song in Hindi.

Tunak Tunak – Saira Naseem I’ve picked the version by Saira Naseem but somewhere on YouTube someone has edited a more modern version into a ten hour extravaganza.

So far I’ve managed 20 minutes before I started to feel vaguely deranged. It’s that good that 20 minutes doesn’t feel too long.

Kasam Paida Karne Wale Ki – Vijay Benedict Title track from the best Bollywood disco soundtrack I own. It’s just the right side of over-the-top for a packed disco floor. I’ve seen Wrong Island go utterly mental to this plenty of times and loads of people ask what it is – whether or not they wake up the next morning remembering the name is another thing.

Mil Gaya HumKo Saathi – Kishore Kumar & Asha Bhosle Starts off as a fairly faithful Asha Bhosle cover of ABBA (I know she appears a lot but she recorded over 12,000 tracks in her time!) then segues into a garage-rock freak-out.

Wrong Island runs monthly at Nice ‘N’ Sleazy’s – see listings for details. This month’s date is 8 Dec, with special guest Auntie Flo (11.30pm - 3am, £3) www.soundcloud.com/wrongisland

Email info@99 hanoverstreet.com for guaranteed entry.

December 2012

THE SKINNY 55

RE V I E W

december E VENTS film

It’s December, and that means some familiar films popping up in cinemas across the country. It’s a Wonderful Life, a Christmas staple, is showing throughout the month; the GFT in Glasgow is also screening Meet Me in St Louis (15-17 Dec), and The Bishop’s Wife (9-11 Dec), starring Cary Grant as Bishop Henry Brougham’s guardian angel, Dudley.

The GFT has also included some alternative Yuletide content this year – those who like their seasonal cheer with a bit of action will enjoy Die Hard (21 Dec).

What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?

Gremlins

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Director: Joe Dante Starring: Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton, Frances Lee McCain, Corey Feldman, Dick Miller Released: 7 Dec Certificate: TBC

Director: Robert Aldrich Starring: Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Victor Buono, Maidie Norman Released: 14 Dec Certificate: 12A

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On a sales call to a gloomy Chinatown cliché emporium, Randall Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) obtains a mogwai, a wittering Furby/shih-tzu hybrid as Christmas gift for his son Billy (Zach Galligan). Mogwai ownership has three apparently impossible conditions: they can’t stand bright lights; you can’t get them wet; you can’t feed them after midnight. Simpering Billy hasn’t a hope, and soon Gizmo is spawning malevolent green doppelgangers, destined to smash up snowglobe-pretty Bedford falls in a cavalcade of gore, smoke, snow, goo, drool, popcorn and fairylights.

Director Joe Dante tells a simple story with anarchic spirit, rabid humour and painstaking puppetry to delightfully messy effect. In true pantomime tradition, the young leads are tedious, but eccentrics like acidic hag Mrs Deagle (Polly Holliday) and cameo-spotting opportunities from the likes of Corey Feldman and Chuck Jones more than compensate. With its festive re-release in the age of slinky CGI, the hand-crafted chaos of Gremlins promises, now more than ever, a delirious, alternative riot. [Kirsty Leckie-Palmer]

With its sparkling divas and muscled he-men, Hollywood in its heyday was a barely closeted champion of queer culture. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, Robert Aldrich’s tale of two showbiz siblings washed-up and acting out their bitter rivalry as macabre horror, took the movies’ congenital campness one stage further.

Joan Crawford plays Blanche, wheelchair-bound former starlet and prisoner of Bette Davis’ younger and less successful Baby Jane. Delusional, alcoholic Jane tries to rejig her career by enlisting mummy’s boy Edwin (a flouncing Victor Buono) as accompanist to her creepy signature tune I’ve Written a Letter to Daddy. She serves Blanche a rat for dinner and takes out the maid with a hammer, all with the aim of stymying her sister’s plans to sell their house.

Blanche spirals obligingly into despair, literally spinning maniacally in her chair after the rodent incident. Art imitates life as kooky legends Crawford and Davis furiously try to out-act each other, making burlesque film history as they go.

[Helen Wright]

www.parkcircus.com

www.parkcircus.com

Chasing Ice

Seven Psychopaths

Director: Jeff Orlowski Starring: James Balog, Svavar Jonatansson, Adam LeWinter Released: 14 Dec Certificate: PG

Director: Martin McDonagh Starring: Colin Farrell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell, Tom Waits Released: 5 Dec Certificate: 15

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Is it possible to take a picture of climate change? Ask James Balog. Back in the more innocent pre-crash noughties, this National Geographic photographer founded the Extreme Ice Survey, a project which placed 30 time-lapse cameras on three continents pointed for three-years at glaciers he suspected were succumbing to warming climes. His story, findings and well-used expert opinions form the backbone of Chasing Ice, the latest green doc to hit our screens.

Deirector Jeff Orlowski follows this indomitable old-school adventurer as he treks over glaciers and abseils into frozen abysses on a three-times operated on knee to capture some of the most breathtaking and viewed images in recent NatGeo history.

In grim times the temptation would be to skid past another eco-doom documentary, yet Orlowski’s Balog tribute inspire awes and wonder rather than inculcating guilt. A deserving winner of Best Cinematography at Sundance, Chasing Ice is a uniquely visual adventure with a chilling message warmed by Balog’s humanity. [Danny Scott]

The fact that the central character in Seven Psychopaths is an Irish writer named Marty should suggest the kind of film we’re dealing with here. McDonagh’s second feature as a director is a self-reflexive meditation on the act of screenwriting itself, as a boozy Hollywood hack, played by Colin Farrell, struggles to complete a script entitled Seven Psychopaths with the help of his unhinged actor buddy (Sam Rockwell). Events rapidly spiral out of control, but the narrative never coheres into anything more than an intermittently amusing mess, despite the unexpected note of pathos that Christopher Walken brings to his part.

For all of the film’s bloodshed and misogyny (McDonagh’s attempt to mitigate that misogyny by questioning it himself doesn’t wash), the most off-putting aspect of this sub-Adaptation caper is the sense of smug self-satisfaction that the whole picture reeks of. Martin McDonagh is undoubtedly a very clever man, but with Seven Psychopaths he is interested in nothing more than celebrating his own cleverness. [Philip Concannon]

Safety Not Guaranteed

Love Crime

Director: Colin Trevorrow Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Mark Duplass, Jake M. Johnson, Karan Soni Released: 26 Dec Certificate: PG

Director: Alain Corneau Starring: Ludivine Sagnier, Kristin Scott Thomas, Patrick Mille, Gerald Laroche Released: 14 Dec Certificate: 15

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It’s a pleasure to see the talented Aubrey Plaza being given a long overdue starring role, but what a shame Safety Not Guaranteed is such a dud. She plays a newspaper intern sent to investigate a self-professed time traveller (Mark Duplass), who claims to have built a time machine in his garage and is now seeking an assistant for his journey. Drawing inspiration from a real-life classified ad, Colin Trevorrow has a neat premise for his debut feature but he doesn’t have a clue what to do with it.

Subplots involving Plaza’s grating colleagues (Jake M. Johnson and Karan Soni) add nothing of value to the picture, and only serve to highlight how underdeveloped the whole thing feels. Safety Not Guaranteed is all half-baked ideas and frustrating loose ends, and it feels like a real missed opportunity.

With another rewrite and some more focused direction, Trevorrow could have exploited the potential in his story and provided a worthy platform for Plaza, whose deadpan lead performance is excellent. [Philip Concannon]

Love Crime is the last film Alain Corneau made before his death, and it initially looks like it might act as a fitting swansong. Kristin Scott Thomas and Ludivine Sagnier are ideally cast as the ruthless business executive and her young, ambitious assistant, and it’s fun to watch their mutual manipulations and backstabbing for a while. Unfortunately, the whole narrative hinges on a mid-film twist and that’s where Love Crime promptly collapses.

The second half of the picture, with its dull procedural scenes (led by a seemingly incompetent police force) and preposterous plot revelations, grows increasingly risible and completely fails to build on the sly intrigues of the opening half. Love Crime seems to have no understanding of the corporate world its story is set in, and its story unfolds without any recourse to emotional or psychological logic. We can only hope that Brian De Palma’s forthcoming remake, Passion, is a lot more satisfying. [Philip Concannon]

safetynotguaranteedmovie.com

56 THE SKINNY

December 2012

Meet Me in St Louis

The Belmont in Aberdeen is showing not one, but two Charles Dickens adaptations on Christmas Eve. Purists will enjoy the 1951 British classic Scrooge, starring Alastair Sim, while big kids and those seeking a more light-hearted version of the tale of a miserly boss and the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, can watch The Muppet Christmas Carol, starring Michael Caine, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, and many more. Check out your local cinema to see which Christmas classics are screening near you.

The Muppet Christmas Carol

The DCA in Dundee is showing Vertigo, voted the greatest film of all time in this year’s Sight & Sound poll, controversially knocking Citizen Kane off the top spot for the first time in fifty years, on 28-29 Dec. Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece, starring James Stewart and Kim Novak, is a twisted psychological tale of murder, obsession, and love, with a stunning score by Bernard Herrmann. This is unmissable, unforgettable viewing, and deserves to be seen on the big screen.

In preparation for Peter Jackson’s latest Tolkein adaptation, the Cameo in Edinburgh and the Belmont are screening The Lord of the Rings trilogy on 9 Dec. Starting at midday and finishing many, many hours later, this is a true test of endurance and dedication, but one that will undoubtedly be popular. Attendees are invited to dress up, so hairy feet are encouraged, smoking copious amounts of pipe-weed is probably not.

In Bruges

The DCA is showing In Bruges, Martin McDonagh’s surprise 2008 hit, on 19 Dec. As with so many special screenings this month, there is also a seasonal connection. Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson star as two hitmen stranded in the Flemmish city a couple of weeks before Christmas, awaiting further instruction from their boss Harry (Ralph Fiennes). Boasting excellent performances that displays the two leads’ comic timing, this black comedy is the perfect remedy for anyone who feels December is just too jolly a month.

[Becky Bartlett]

REVIEW: DVD

FLOATING WEEDS

ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS

DIRECTOR: YASUJIRO OZU STARRING: GANJIRO NAKAMURA, MACHIKO KYO, AYAKO WAKAO RELEASED: 3 DEC CERTIFICATE: PG

DIRECTOR: LUCIO FULCI STARRING: TISA FARROW, IAN MCCULLOCH RELEASED: 3 DEC CERTIFICATE: 18

rrrrr The rootless beings of the title are a performance troupe in post-war Japan, moving perpetually through the country as happy wanderers. Returning to a rural island after twelve years they amuse themselves with sake and romance. Yet the troupe’s master hides a secret. He fathered a boy here many years ago and this mystery is disastrously unpicked by his jealous mistress. Sound unremarkable? Well, this is Ozu, one of cinema’s grand masters.

With his low slung static shots and sculptor’s touch he chips away to the absolute truth of the human condition. The furtive father’s pride in his illegitimate son is heartbreaking; a young actress’s pain at her transient existence equally so. She (a young Ayako Wakao) is a floating weed, never destined to take root. Touching set-pieces such as two partners divided by a wall of rain remind us that although often playing like a gentle French comedy, this film can cut to the bone when it chooses.

[Alan Bett]

rrrrr Fulci’s legendary gore-filled video nasty finally shambles on to a UK Blu-ray release just in time for Christmas. Make no mistake, this is one for the zombie lover in your life. While it owes much of its success to Romero’s Dawn of the the Dead, Fulci’s bloody masterpiece transcends accusations of plagiarism and stands proudly as one of the best of the genre. It’s a film of extremes, and not one for the faint hearted.

From the iconic and thoroughly grotesque wormridden ‘walking flower pot’ zombies, to buckets of throat-tearing gore, it doesn’t hold back and has plenty of classic moments. Perhaps the most famous is the surreal underwater zombie-versus-shark fight, but the more traditional splinter in the eye scene, beloved by the censors, still has the power to shock. Uncut and in a brand new hi-def transfer, the stomach-churning splatter has never looked better.

What more could you want for a traditional family Christmas? [Scotty McKellar]

GATE OF HELL

AIR DOLL

DIRECTOR: TEINOSUKE KINOGASA STARRING: KAZUO HASEGAWA, MACHIKO KYO, ISAO YAMAGATA RELEASED: 3 DEC CERTIFICATE: PG

DIRECTOR: KORE-EDA HIROKAZU STARRING: DOONA BAE, ARATA, ITSUJI ITAO RELEASED: OUT NOW CERTIFICATE: 15

rrrrr This 1953 Japanese classic is a banquet of visual delights, a tapestry of vibrant colour, which regrettably becomes frayed at the edges. Morito is a mid-ranking Samurai whose bravery is honoured with a gift from the Emperor. After choosing the hand of a nobleman’s wife he is subsequently refused his prize, leading to fermenting desire and a deadly, escalating rivalry, each man desperate to possess her.

Whether this is a cautionary parable for those who dare to challenge social status, or ultimately a dark meditation on the destructive power of obsession is unclear. The principal trio are equally unsympathetic, displaying either effete servility or vile greed and aggression, leaving us with nobody to root for.

Often the constructs of honour and protocol make for delicious drama, but here prove simply frustrating. However, this remains an epic feature and well worth your attention, even more so for those aesthetes who will devour its breathtaking, and still unequalled palette. [Alan Bett]

CODE NAME: GERONIMO DIRECTOR: JOHN STOCKWELL STARRING: CAM GIGANDET, FREDDY RODRIGUEZ, ALVIN ‘XZIBIT’ JOINER RELEASED: 24 DEC CERTIFICATE: 15

rrrrr A Japanese salaryman returns to his ramshackle apartment every night to the welcoming, if chilly, embrace of his inflatable sex doll, with whom he has an elaborate domestic routine. But then, one day, her eyes open and unaccountably she finds she has “a heart I was not supposed to have.” The Lion from The Wizard of Oz must be gutted.

Air Doll follows the life of our pneumatic heroine and those of the people she meets in her Tokyo neighbourhood. Director Hirokazu handles the transition between doll and human with a disarming simplicity. The cinematography is almost luminous, and the film comes to a striking conclusion.

However, the mix of kooky fable and queasy sexual detail can make for uneasy viewing. More damagingly, Hirokazu’s meandering, diffuse storytelling leaves the film feeling even longer than its near two hour running time, and it becomes difficult not to hope for the appearance of sharp objects just to introduce an element of suspense. [Keir Roper-Caldbeck]

NINJA SCROLL DIRECTOR: YOSHIAKI KAWAJIRI STARRING: RELEASED: OUT NOW CERTIFICATE: 18

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rrrrr Airing in the US just days before last month’s election, SEAL Team 6 (as it was then titled) caused a minor outrage, attracting accusations that distributor and Obama-supporter Harvey Weinstein was trying to influence ‘undecideds’ with a strategically-timed reminder of the President’s firstterm accomplishments. Obama went on to secure a second term, of course, but this badly-conceived dramatisation of the raid on Bin Laden’s Abbottabad compound is unlikely to have swayed even the most easily-manipulated of voters.

While its military re-enactments create a certain amount of tension, the lead-up is hokey and unconvincing, as the filmmakers strain to inscribe personality on a cast of ciphers through hackneyed backstories and substantial guesswork. It’s the latter flaw that rankles most: by rushing into production before the dust had settled, Code Name: Geronimo is left looking ill-informed and sapped of credibility. Hopefully Kathryn Bigelow’s forthcoming Zero Dark Thirty will offer a more considered take on events, with a more appropriate degree of moral complexity. [Chris Buckle]

After making short – and bloody – work of a squad of ninjas, a monstrous ogre takes the sole survivor, a female ninja named Tagero, back to his lair to have his wicked way with her. As she tries to resist he warns her: “Don’t let it cross your mind I wouldn’t mind raping a dead girl.”

Sex and nudity, death and dismemberment; the first ten minutes of Ninja Scroll, the 1993 anime classic released on Bluray for the first time, make it clear that animation is here being used for very different ends from those of Pixar or Disney. If its story of wandering samurai and rapacious warlords is familiar from Japanese live action films, its devils and warriors with supernatural powers come straight from the pages of manga. What dazzles most is the contrast between the beautifully rendered, pastoral backdrops of crags, waterfalls, forests, and temples, and the gruesome, stylised violence that takes place against them. [Keir Roper-Caldbeck]

DECEMBER 2012

THE SKINNY 57

REVIEW

SONICA: OUR CONTEMPORARIES TRAMWAY

SONICA: REMEMBER ME SCOTLAND STREET SCHOOL MUSEUM

rrrrr Considered by certain individuals to be a hive of paranormal activity, the perfectly preserved corridors of Mackintosh’s Scotland Street School are an intelligent setting for Claudia Molitor’s haunting explorations. Regardless of your take on matters occult, the place is drenched in history – there’s no ignoring those lost, lingering voices.

Such voices are the basic premise behind Remember Me, albeit those of the ancients. Molitor’s piece attempts to grant two operatic heroines, Dido and Eurydice, a voice outside of their respective stories by detailing an imaginary friendship between the two. The work tries to deconstruct the grand, masculine concepts that characterise opera by scaling down the epic designs and cutting up its narratives.

It’s a very literal process. Molitor’s opera, complete with stage, performers, and orchestra pit, fits into an antique writing desk gifted to her by her grandmother – the only space, as Molitor suggests, that a young woman in the early 20th century may have been able to call her own.

Our Contemporaries is dystopian sci-fi pared down to basic components. Mookyoung Shin’s futuristic nightmare mixes automation with bureaucracy.

Rows of robotic hands count out a choreographed rhythm on a mini-tier of classroom desks. These baying digits call to mind Schwarzenegger’s metallic fingers in Terminator, stripped of skin and hungry for violence. Their furious tapping is both fascinating and grating. When their expressive beat builds to a crescendo, standing in the audience feels like being back at the mercy of school bullies. The difference is, these ones are disembodied machines from a Philip K. Dick novel; far more powerful than a bunch of mean kids.

Shin’s piece is well suited to Tramway’s hollow warehouse aesthetic. Each set of humanoid claws lights up when it plays, conjuring spidery shadows and adding to the atmospheric horror. The show is

even creepier if you peer at these instruments of terror up close. They are operated by a spiraling wooden contraption which moves the digits – actually more like piano keys – up and down in turn.

Such a simple-looking device behind the monstrous spectacle shores up Shin’s stated intention of exploring quotidian repetition. Seemingly innocuous items butt up against deep social anxieties, a continuing theme in the South Korean artist’s work.

His back catalogue includes a model boat and anchor where the latter repeatedly fails to moor the former, and walls covered with shoes in a room filled with screaming. Just like Our Contemporaries, these suggest everyday objects utilised to create absorbing metaphors for existential fear.

[Helen Wright] SONIC-A.CO.UK/2012/OUR-CONTEMPORARIES/

In the mini refreshment break, Molitor hands out Turkish delight before immediately resuming her performance, a quiet mixture of visuals, storytelling, movement and sound.

It’s an ambitious piece, but while certainly captivating, the wider feminine narratives hinted at throughout are never convincingly evoked.

Part of this is down to Remember Me’s overly rigid structure, a series of loosely related movements around and within the desk, performed to a prerecorded mixture of found sounds and delicate, modern composition. Some of the more interesting moments involve the contact microphones taped to Molitor’s fingers, but these aside, there is little spontaneous interaction.

This, and Molitor’s overtly personal relationship to the work, prevents it from conveying much beyond her own story. There’s much here to admire, in particular the composition – perhaps the only problem lies in promising too much.

[Jean-Xavier Boucherat]

MOOKYOUNG SHIN

SONIC-A.CO.UK/2012/REMEMBER-ME

ADVERTISING FEATURE: OWN ART

OWN ART AT CHRISTMAS WORDS: JAC MANTLE

THE HIGH street is mobbed; queues are hell; you’re overspending and still buying crap – it’s nearly Christmas! Sound about right? Apparently Scandinavian Christmases are the thing this year, after watching all those episodes of The Killing. So we should make like they do a bit further up north and go for a homemade holiday, not a commercial break. Think individual, personal gifts instead of more socks and jumpers. Gingerbread houses, that sort of thing. (Flat-packed is cheating.) To be honest, though, who has the time to make everything (except Kirstie Allsop)?

This is where artists are one step ahead. Several galleries are already ladling out the mulled wine, ready to welcome you to Christmas shows where you can find presents that will delight all your pals, and not a Lynx gift set among them.

Already half in darkness up north, they’ve cracked on with the festivities, just to keep out the cold. Peacock Visual Arts’ exhibition, Grotto, features hundreds of A4-sized grottos from across the globe, in the form of paintings, prints, photographs, collages and sculpture. Work by the local community hangs alongside international artists and includes Ralph Steadman, Barbara Rae and Toby Paterson. They’ve also produced a limited edition Christmas card which you can buy online.

At DCA, it’s Christmas business as usual, with their annual Winter Exhibition in the Print Space – a great selection of artists’ prints, all produced in

their onsite Print Studio. The DCA shop will have the usual huge range of arty Christmas gifts, including books, jewellery, and crafts from Scotland and beyond. When you’ve emptied your pockets, be sure to head into the main gallery to see the show by Florida-born artist, Trisha Baga.

Named after Madonna’s 1983 hit single, Holiday will take the form of a chaotic landscape made from luminous paint, fake flowers, charity shop finds and video projections. Baga’s installation Plymouth Rock, considers the famous pilgrim landing site through Chinese takeaway menus and a recital of a Justin Bieber Christmas song. Just the ticket to transport you to warmer, cheerier climes.

Meanwhile, back in Scotland, Glasgow Print Studio promises a “veritable cornucopia” of gifts in their annual Christmas show. With works

by Elizabeth Blackadder, John Byrne, Fiona Watson, Adrian Wizniewski, Scott Campbell and Ashley Cook, it’s the place to shop for your more discerning relatives’ gifts. An open submission of Members’ prints will be on show on the ground floor gallery, with invited artists upstairs. You can also get your hands on a range of printed tote bags (everyone loves a tote bag) and hand printed cards, which are exclusive to GPS. If you’re not completely art-ed out and mince pie-faced by this point, you should head over to Ingleby Gallery, whose clean lines and simple décor are very Scandinavian, by the way. Currently showing

Galleries across Scotland are members of the Own Art scheme. By offering interest-free loans of £100-£2,000 through Own Art, buying an original piece of quality contemporary art or craft couldn’t be easier. For more information about Own Art and a list of participating galleries see the Own Art website: www.ownart.org.uk Look for the pink logo. (representative 0% APR)

58 THE SKINNY

DECEMBER 2012

FIONA WATSON, DEEP SLEEP COPYRIGHT THE ARTIST AND GLASGOW PRINT STUDIO

in the gallery, Yorkshire-born artist and writer, Harland Miller’s work is extremely covetable, as well as being quite interesting. Miller makes paintings that look like battered, second-hand Penguin paperbacks – the kind your mum used to hide away but now puts on the coffee table because they’re ‘vintage.’ That very British nostalgia is turned back on itself in Miller’s work, though – punchy titles such as Grimsby: The World Is Your Whelk, and Heroin, It’s What Your Right Arm’s For, seem to say that you can’t judge a book

by its cover.

Pipe Down Cunt, may not be quite what your gran was expecting, but at least it’s not more soap, eh? Ingleby’s ‘Christmas-comes-early’ promotion offers a different print at a discounted price every day during the first week of December.

WWW.GPSART.CO.UK/ WWW.INGLEBYGALLERY.COM/ WWW.DCA.ORG.UK/ WWW.PEACOCKVISUALARTS.COM/ ALL OF THESE GALLERIES ARE SUPPORTED BY THE OWN ART SCHEME WWW.OWNART.ORG.UK/

Offer subject to age and status. Terms and conditions apply. You will need a UK bank account that can handle direct debits, proof of identity and address, and you will also need to be over 18. Own Art is operated by ArtCo Trading Ltd, a wholly owned subsidiary of Arts Council. Registered address: Arts Council England, North East, Central Square, Forth Street, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 3PJ

249 West George Street Glasgow G2 4QE

PHOTO: KIM SUNSOO

CLAUDIA MOLITOR

PHOTO: TOMMY GA-KEN WAN

art

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books

RE V I E W

Gold Digger

Blood of Crows

Fremont

Top Gear: The Cool 500

By Francis Fyfield

By Caro Ramsay

By Elizabeth Reeder

By Matt Master

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An answer to the quiz question ‘crime novels with the same title as Kanye West songs,’ but otherwise this is a solid but not very memorable story. Curious, because it does have a novel premise – a rich old man, Thomas Porteous, is dying. Di, his much younger wife, fears that his family will come to claim his possessions after they die, accusing her of being a gold digger.

She isn’t, quite, because Porteous’s wealth is mostly held in the form of rare paintings, which she also appreciates. But she met Porteous because she was a cat burglar, come to rob him. It’s a nice setup, because it establishes that her motives were, at least initially, mercenary, but also that she had enough of a bond with her husband for that to have changed.

It shows she has a skillset that might (and no spoiler really, it does) come in handy when the relatives turn up. And it also establishes that, though they may be venal, nasty characters, the family may have a point. The premise is dutifully worked through, and though the prose is fairly plain and the dialogue occasionally clunky, the book moves to a satisfying, if predictable, conclusion. [John Inglis]

This is now the fourth of Caro Ramsay’s series following DI Colin Anderson and his colleagues, most prominently DS Costello, whose first name isn’t often used (because it, and her middle name, are odd and dated). This series has hit its stride – the characters, and the realisation of their world is very well handled by this point. The plot kicks off with various unsettling incidents, such as a ten year old girl getting killed in such a way that she dies in DI Anderson’s arms – it’s chilling and effective from the start.

The plot then gradually shows how much of the seemingly random crimes across the city may be connected, and may even have a relationship to old Glasgow crime. But it also introduces new crime, in the form of Russian gangsters – the title refers to the tattoos of crows that they sport – so there’s a culture clash element as well. This is a lengthy book, but quite engrossing as various tensions and shocks play out, and the various plotlines start to come together satisfyingly. This being a modern crime novel though, the ending isn’t neat and tidy – it’s the trendy sort of moral conundrum. Worth your time. [Ryan Agee]

Fremont is the debut book from Kohl Publishing, which they’ve been publicising gradually for a while now. It was maybe a risk to do that, but this book probably justifies it. The Fremont family begin in the opening pages when Rachel Roanoke and Hal Fremont meet and quickly get married and start a family. This start is something of a jolt, but the book settles a little after that as the couple start a family, having 13 children that they name, unusually, after American states.

Much of this detail suggests some kind of allegory – Fremont and Roanoke are places on each coast of America, and there were 13 original United States, though these aren’t all the ones the children are named after. But this sort of detail isn’t crammed down the reader’s throat, and the book is the better for that. It takes on an apparently slow pace with a nice quality where more happens than initially appears, like a fairytale at times, or a fable.

The children all become fully realised characters, so there is plenty of story to tell, and be warned that some of that is tragic. A haunting book about a dysfunctional, fascinating family. [Johnny Chess]

Subtitled ‘The Coolest Cars Ever Made,’ this is a large format book about cars through history, glossy photos and all. Some people love Top Gear, and some people love to hate it, but both camps would agree that it has a certain confident, often arrogant style that’s tongue in cheek enough to be entertaining. This book doesn’t really have that style – author Matt Master works for Top Gear Magazine, not the show itself. What we are left with is a whole load of pictures of cars, no better or worse than any number of similar books.

The notion of what constitutes a ‘cool’ car is pretty flexible. Some might suggest that an environmentally friendly car is cool, but here, no. Coolness also has to be more or less evenly distributed across decades, which is pretty tricky. Some cars are simply historically important, whereas some seem cool by association – the Ford Mustang is a reasonable inclusion because Steve McQueen drove one in Bullitt, while the Porsche Spyder is bizarrely included because James Dean died driving one. A neat little present for any kid who’s a fan of the show, but adults will quickly want something more substantial. [Richard Robeson]

Out now. Published by Sphere. Cover price £12.99

Out now. Published by Penguin. Cover price £7.99

Out now. Published by Kohl. Cover price £8.99 paperback, £4.99 ebook

Out now. Published by BBC Books. Cover price £25

Hitman: Absolution

tech

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For many, the sight of Agent 47’s bald head and neutral expression, and the telltale barcode on the back of his skulldome evoke a rare kind of warmth – like so many protagonists in video games, 47 is a true professional, despite the numerous balls-ups that his many players seem to put him through before they get it right.

Hitman: Absolution is the comeback for Agent 47, a professional assassin for a mysterious organization who has, in rare form gone rogue this time to get to the bottom of a mystery. Knowing they had to ramp things up this time, the game features a good-sized variety of ways for you to dispatch your targets, from straight-up shooting, to making things look like a convenient accident. You have a good array of weapons at your disposal along with disguises and a helpful instinct meter that lets you spot useful objects or bluff the guards.

For all that openness, though, the achievements and environments all seem to point to a handful of spelled-out means of killing your targets; it feels like picking one of a half-dozen options rather than making it up as you go. The game also makes clear it’s preference for you playing in complete stealth mode rather than kill-em-all, so you feel like you’re playing it wrong when you make the room bleed, rather than just playing things your way.

Absolution is a solid return to form, beautifully detailed with careful level design and strategy built in. The stealth and kill options feel a bit mechanical rather than organic, but that doesn’t stop this from being a very diverting few hours of play. [Alex Cole] out now, £28 RRP

THE FEED

www.hitman.com

Assassin’s Creed III rrrrr

As the holiday season approaches, our thoughts naturally turn towards violence and revenge, which is why it’s so fitting that we have two titles out featuring assassins doing their bloody work and doing it well, thank you very much.

Assassin’s Creed III lays well-loved protagonist Ezio to rest and takes place in colonial America instead of Renaissance Europe, but retains much of the free-running, jumping, leaping and stabbing from earlier games. These are both bad and good features, respectively. I know it’s difficult to write protagonists as little more than sulking, brooding emo stabby-types (just look at the bulk of the game’s players), but Ezio broke this mold neatly by being a charming guy all round, and to go from him to Connor, the half-British half-Native American hero in AC:III, is a harsh devolution in character.

That said, the free running is still a pleasure to do.

Instead of jumping from architecture, you’re now up in

trees in the colonial frontier, stalking your target from ships as much as towns, and the combat is familiar to most who’ve been through beat-em-up games before.

On top of which, it looks just stunning, each new scene and vista lovingly crafted with the finest pixels.

On the down side, the act of assassination, ostensibly what the series is about, is pretty minor here.

Politics, minigames, naval warfare, building up your economy, are all much more in evidence, as if the devs expected their core audience to grow up just like they have. Some of it’s fun, sure, but it makes the game feel scattered with so many side-projects going on. There’s a lot put into making the world feel cohesive, but not so much for the gameplay.

For looks alone, AC:III is worth your time, it is a visual treat, has some solid storytelling (hooray for ambiguous morality!), and when it plays smoothly, it plays very smoothly indeed. Still, sorting out the personality crisis (both with the dull hero and the various minigames) should be a priority for next time round. [Alex Cole] out now, £33

Windows 8 launches with a whimper, a question mark, and lots of empty tiles • Google Nexus 4 astounds on price, fails miserably on actually getting phones to people • Tablets overtaking laptops as key consumer devices, probably because they are harder to crash • Gangnam Style beats Bieber as most watched YouTube video, is fourth sign of apocalypse • Guns now printable on 3D printers, because we don’t have enough screed coming from the internet • Susan Boyle relevant for hilarious hashtag, and little else

December 2012

THE SKINNY 59

Constance Devernay, Quenby Hersh, Bethany Kingsley-Garner and Amy Hadley as Poppies in The Nutcracker

It’s Not All Pantomime

He's behind you! Our theatre correspondents take a look at the festive season's panto offerings, and the alternatives words: Eric Karoulla and Gareth K Vile Although Christmas is a time for families, theatre can capitalise on the enforced jollity by offering a few hours’ escape from festive over-eating, repeats of seasonal TV favourites, the disappointment of receiving inappropriate gifts from elderly relatives and clichéd lists of Christmas miseries. Most of the offerings are pantomime or child-friendly, which is a shame given performance’s recent enthusiasm for hard-hitting politics – but it is possible to find more esoteric pleasures.

As Mark Thomson of the Lyceum points out, however, pantomimes aren’t necessarily all evil.

“They are actually one of the most theatrical forms: there is an absolute acknowledgment that there’s an audience out there and we are talking to you and you will be able to talk to us too! Try doing that on TV!” he says. “It’s a kind of TGIF – let your hair down, take the piss out of politics, what’s on the news, in the charts so the communing feels irreverent and subversive and spontaneous.”

Since some of its traits emerge from vaudeville and cabaret, pantomime does fit with some of the more exciting experiments in contemporary theatre, and the increase in audiences for theatre helps the industry. In Edinburgh, the other most popular form of theatre, the musical, is reminding audiences why film has given the song and dance routines a new lease of life.

60s nostalgia takes to the stage with the first national tour of Dirty Dancing: The Classic Story On Stage. Having broken records in Germany and the UK for the highest advance ticket sales in history, the production is coming up to the Edinburgh Playhouse this month.

Dirty Dancing is a holiday musical, in that it narrates the holiday romance between Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman and Johnny Castle. She: a 17-year old daddy’s girl. He: the resort dance instructor from the other side of the tracks. Relief from the cold weather is to be found in the sensual dance routines between the two main characters, who, of course, fall in love when they are ‘not supposed to.’

With more stories being ripped off the screen and taking the stage (such as Harold and Maude,

60 THE SKINNY

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and the Casablanca Gin Joint Cut), it comes as no surprise that the live version of Dirty Dancing promises to be the time of your life, just like the hit single from the movie.

Over the past decade, musicals have increasingly relied upon existing successes, either compiling pop hits into a vague narrative (Mamma Mia) or remaking films. Dirty Dancing does, at least, have a strong musical component in the film and is now old enough to count as a guilty pleasure.

Meanwhile, the Russian State Circus is aiming to occupy both Glasgow and Edinburgh: Edinburgh gets the rather predictable title of The Christmas Gift while Glasgow wins the more intriguing show Babushkin Sekret.

Russia has been famous for both the skill of its circus performers and the intensity of their training since its days as the Evil Empire: when the Soviet bloc collapsed, European circus arts were energised by the arrival of performers trained in the USSR and revitalised the classic acrobatic acts. The parallel development of large scale street theatre has transformed circus from the rather sad, dwindling sideshow into a serious, popular spectacular.

Babuskin Sekret is based on a Soviet legend about lost aristocratic jewels hidden in one of twelve chairs. A desk clerk races to find the riches, pursued by Bolsheviks. Perhaps familiar from a similar plot in George Formby vehicle Keep Your Seats, Please or even less likely Jack Benny’s It’s in the Bag, The Twelve Chairs has inspired over twenty adaptations. However, this is the first one that will be performed in a specially heated tent.

However, it isn’t the plot that draws a circus audience: it’s the action. Apart from the interludes of Russian clowns – which can be far more sinister than even the British versions – Moscow State Circus promises a calvacade of talent. The Stalkions do back-flips on pyramids that happen to be suspended 30 feet in the air; The Doktrov fly through the air; the Sherbakovs juggle; while The Alikanov balance on the vertical pole.

Aerial choreography is increasingly fashionable

and each of these teams – apart from sounding like alien races out of Star Trek – offer the opportunity to see an international company at the top of their game. Rougher than Cirque de Soleil, and retaining that surreal edge that turns even mainstream Eastern European theatre into something unfamiliar, The Moscow State Circus are one of the few interesting legacies of the Cold War. Glasgow does seem to have the better show though: a George Formbyinfluenced action story with devious Communists over the generic Christmas compilation.

Both Dundee Rep and the Citizens Theatre in Glasgow have a tradition of finding alternatives to pantomime: both offer a child-friendly play that draws on fairy tales yet has a stronger connection to the work presented by the venues during the rest of the year. The Rep’s Snow Queen enlists Mike Kenny on script duties – best known for his version of The Railway Children – while the Citizens has put Dominic Hill, better known as the mastermind behind versions of Shakespeare, Beckett and Pinter, on directing duties for Sleeping Beauty. Although Hill hasn’t promised any existential terror or meditations on the nature of despotism, it is a mark of how seriously the Citizens takes its Christmas show.

Of course, if these are a little too much, there is always the ballet version of The Snowman, although diabetics are likely to end up in a coma if they stay past the first scene. For a Christmas ballet with a little more edge, the national company are restaging former artistic director Ashely Page’s Nutcracker.

Daniel Davidson is becoming an old hand in Scottish Ballet’s Christmas show: this is his second Nutcracker and he is performing several parts scattered across Ashley Page’s reinvention of the familiar choreography. “I am doing the waltz of the flowers, a guest at the party at the end and Fritz, the heroine’s brother,” he says. “He’s a bit of a toerag!” Yet while Page uses the sumptuous score of Tchaikovsky, he was unafraid to lend the choreography a contemporary sensibilty.

Davidson notes that “at the beginning, the

children are very childlike: and then characters progress and grow up and appreciate each other.”

Touches like this add depth to what only needs to be a spectacle: Page’s sensibility, mixing psychological realism into the glamour of the fairy-tale, mirrors his take on dance. “He takes ballet moves,” says Davidson, “and gives them a twist.”

As Davidson points out, a trip to the ballet is often a traditional part of Christmas: his enthusiasm for Scottish Ballet’s contemporary choreography is here married with a respect for the popularity of this classic story. Page’s Christmas shows might become his enduring legacy for the company: although he did introduce new works to their repertoire and had them working with rising names, Nutcracker is an example of how he could integrate the classical and the modern.

If pantomime is aimed at a family audience – the popularity of The Pavilion’s Wizard of Never Woz with the armed forces notwithstanding, possibly thanks to the outfits of the chorus girls – there’s plenty for adults around the festive period. Mark Thomson of the Lyceum, talking about his Christmas show Cinderella, is quick to insist on this. “Oh yes there is! I think, at its best, a Lyceum Christmas show has an integrity of story and a real sense of peril and emotional stakes that perhaps a traditional panto plays fast and loose with. We try to take both children and adults on a big journey that has real stakes and consequences. I don’t mean to say it’s po faced: it is anything but. Cinderella has a hilarious Johnny McKnight script, Alan Penman’s melodic and effervescent songs and for our two nasty sisters we have, in Nicola Roy and Jo Freer, two of the funniest women on the Scottish stage. We try to keep the spirit of Grimm in amongst the laughter and deliver the fun of being scared of the dark!”

Nutcracker is touring across Scotland throughout December and January: see website for full details.

Cinderella 29 Nov- 29 DecThe Lyceum Dirty Dancing4 Dec- 12 Jan All various times and prices www.scottishballet.co.uk/pastproductions/the-nutcracker.html

Photo: Andrew Ross

theatre

P RE V I E W

comedy

RE V I E W

2012: That Was The Year That Was

2013 EUROPEAN TOUR

EXPERIENCE THE DREAM!

With the impending Mayan apocalypse on its way, it’s time to look back at a year which may prove to be humanity’s last words: Politigiggle

Tickets from

illustration joe todd stanton

£7

A SENSATIONAL SHOW

Based on the legend of the twelve chairs featuring acts from the world’s most famous circus The year began in February, with lizard Queen Elizabeth celebrating her first millenium as grand wizard and esteemed monarch. In a spectacle reminiscent of the final round of a regal edition of The Generation Game, the monarch was saluted by a river parade of boats from box office smash film Battleship, her fragile memories fading away.

But events took a sour turn when Prince Philip was rushed to hospital – surprising many as it is notoriously Prince Alberts which get urinary infections.

Thanks to EU legislation the speed of light was reduced to a uniform eight miles per hour, which has rather slowed things down. It’s now easy to move faster than the speed of light, but rather than bringing about a Star Trek utopia this has simply led to everyone driving very slowly, and navigating largely by the sound of crashing metal. Some have switched to public transport for safety, but of course the seemingly healthy bus you’re viewing may already have crashed, while its true image dallies behind, caught up in paperwork.

Closer to home, the completion of Edinburgh’s first fully-functioning tramp system has been an unprecedented success. Announced just a short decade ago, the venture has seen tourists enjoy scenic tours of the city, featuring Edinburgh Castle and the Airport, from the comfort of luxury tramps.

Arriving on time and under budget, the tramp system has helped re-define the capital for the 21st century – and looks set to redefine the ‘Edinburgh smell’ as well.

With economic prospects going from shit to up the shitter, the impending global financial catastrophe was averted thanks to Team GB’s success in the London Olympics. We ran, we swam, we leapt, we scored, we threw down, we threw up and we hopped, skipped and jumped until eventually we made it through the long queues of security checkpoints to watch as our brave sporting troops

earned gold medals and eternal glory.

Britain’s most popular ever Chancellor, George Osborne, announced that the precious metals won by the team, including 17 silver medals and several hundred yards of lead piping left in a skip, will be redistributed to boost the country’s economy.

Announcing the plans at the Olympic Stadium, the assembled crowd showed their appreciation by screaming “we love you,” heavily emphasising the final word and its soft ‘b’ sound that is notorious in the Stratford dialect.

In even greater news for Greater London, Movember saw the confirmation that the Olympics had been re-commissioned for a second series in the spring. Having ended on a cliffhanger with athetics star Mo Farah debating an endorsement deal for the YMCA, the new series will be hosted

by Paddy McGuinness on ITV, after outbidding the BBC, by £37, a picture of a dog wearing a beefeater hat and a packet of soggy Hobnobs.

Finally, the technology world was stunned as Apple revealed that the iPhone 5 would be their last. In an announcement live streamed directly into people’s eyeballs, Apple’s player/manager Tim Cook acknowledged “This is it ladies and gentlemen – we’ve had a look and it turns out we have enough money now, so bye bye then.” Despite the revelation, Apple looks set to take over Silicon Valley start-up Pears, and rumours abound that a new product next year will “revolutionise the way we go up and down in buildings.”

So congratulations for making it through another tumultuous 365 days, have yourself a very merry biscuit – we look forward to seeing you for Breast Cancer Awareness in Mammuary, next year.

Politigiggle are a collective of Edinburgh comedians plotting the revolution. You can catch them in their monthly live shows at the Pleasance Cabaret bar or listen to their weekly podcast. Check their website for updates www.politigiggle.com

XSCAPE BRAEHEAD

GLASGOW KINGS INCH ROAD, BRAEHEAD, RENFREW PA4 8XQ

THU 10 to SUN 20 JAN Thu 10th 7.45 Fri 11th 5pm & 8pm Sat 12th 2pm, 5pm & 8pm Sun 13th 2pm & 5pm Mon 14th 7.45pm (Tues 15th no shows) Wed 16th 7.45pm Thu 17th 7.45pm Fri 18th 5pm & 8pm Sat 19th 2pm, 5pm & 8pm Sun 20th 2pm & 5pm

moscowstatecircus.com 0844 856 5555

www.ticketmaster.co.uk December 2012

THE SKINNY 61

comps

COMPETITIONS

WIN Canongate’s top 10 books for xmas 2012

Struggling to find the perfect gift for the bibliophile in your life? Looking for a way to avoid the dead-eyed zombies tearing apart the shops hungry for anything, ANYTHING, to placate their loved ones? The Skinny is here to help. Those lovely folk at Canongate have kindly offered one lucky reader a prize of their top ten books of 2012, and they'll even deliver them in time for Christmas,* giving someone a treat they actually want, or at the very least the chance to 'regift' a pile of ace books. The titles included are:

Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad by Karl Pilkington A Poke in the Eye (With A Sharp Stick) compiled by Amnesty International Simon's Cat vs The World by Simon Tofield How Are You Feeling? by David Shrigley Lily Vanilli's Sweet Tooth by Lily Jones Leaving Alexandria by Richard Holloway Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain How Music Works by David Byrne Lace by Shirley Conran Life of Pi by Yann Martel To enter, go to www.theskinny.co.uk/competitions and answer this simple question:

This Hogmanay, Drambuie is bringing the celebrations back to its original venue as it throws open the doors of the historic Tron Kirk on Edinburgh’s Royal Mile.

By day, the curious are invited to The Drambuie Surreal Sessions to enjoy breathtaking digital art, extraordinary film screenings, mixology classes and unexpected live performances.

Each night, The Extraordinary Drambuie Gatherings will see Craig Smith (6th BoroughProject), Heavy Gossip, Ultragroove, LuckyMe Records, S-Type, Eclair Fifi and The Blessings welcome in 2013.

The film adaptation of Booker winner Life of Pi is released this month. What other tiger-related movie was also helmed by director Ang Lee? a) Two Brothers b) The Jungle Book c) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Competition closes Wednesday 19 December.

Winners will be notified on the day of closing and will be required to respond within 48 hours or the prize will be offered to another entrant. For full terms and conditions, go to www.theskinny.co.uk/ about/terms. *Weather and acts of God permitting.

62 THE SKINNY

December 2012

WIN AN EXTR AORINDARY HOGMANAY AT EDINBURGH’S TRON KIRK

Answer this question to win: What classic Drambuie cocktail was a Rat Pack favourite in the 1960s?

1. Manhattan 2. Rusty Nail 3. Martini The prize includes four VIP tickets to The Drambuie Surreal Sessions, a cocktail masterclass and four tickets to The Extraordinary Drambuie Gathering of your choice.

For more information visit: www.drambuie.com/uk/#extraordinary-happenings @Drambuie or www.facebook.com/UKDrambuie

Eclair Fifi

Competition closes Wednesday 19 December.

Entrants must be 18 or over. Winners will be notified on the day of closing and will be required to respond within 48 hours or the prize will be offered to another entrant. For full terms and conditions, go to www.theskinny.co.uk/about/terms.

G lasgow music Tue 04 Dec The Glasgow Slow Club Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Janne Westerlund (Makkela’s Trash Lounge, Wounded Knee) Mono, 20:00–23:00, £5

The N-Dubz chap entertains the yoof, avec baseball cap. Obviously.

Circle and Pharaoh Overlord guitarist and singer Janne Westerlund tours his debut solo album, Oran, with support from lo-fi troubadour and label-mate Makkela’s Trash Lounge and Edinburgh’s own experimental freak-folker, Wounded Knee.

Dave Hughes (Daniel Versus The World, Mark McCabe)

SECC, 18:30–22:30, £37.50

Relaxed music night with live guests from the local scene.

Dappy O2 Academy, 19:00–22:00, £15

13th Note, 20:00–23:00, £6

The off-beat Glasgow folkie plays backed by his rather epically-named Renegade Folk Punk Band.

QuoFestive 2012 Longstanding rockers Status Quo embark on the inagural QuoFest of wonder.

God Is An Astronaut Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £12.50

Irish instrumental post-rockers celebrating some 10 years together.

Elan Few, Watershed, Breakfast With Bears Stereo, 19:00–22:30, £5

Weegie alternative rock trio on drums, bass, guitars and vocals.

Chemical Tomb (Magpyes, Sufferinfuck, Corrupt) 13th Note, 20:00–23:00, £tbc

Plymouth death punk outfit Chemical Tomb lead a noisy night down’t 13th Note.

Sat 08 Dec

NeedToBreathe Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £10

Glasvegas

Charleston-based southern rockers led by guitarist and lyricist Bear Rinehart.

The Garage, 19:00–22:00, £16.50

Boom-voiced James Allan and co do their thing, cue glacial guitars, heavyweight lyrics and mass audience singalongs.

Graveyard O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £10

The Swedish blues rockers make their return to the UK.

Enter Shikari Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £18

Little Angels O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £18.50

The recently reformed hard rockers take to the road for their first UK tour in nearly 20 years. We’ll do the moshing.

TFN Records: Winter Showcase (Heavy Hands, Trial & Error, Set Astray) Audio, 18:00–22:00, £5 adv.

Showcase night featuring some of the bands who have worked with Thanks For Nothing Records. Expect loads of riffs, head-banging and circle pits a-plenty.

Futures Fest 2012 (Full Tonne Kidd, The Goodyear, The Works, Stonehouse Violets, Urban Myth, Sergio Sergio, All She Knows, Delfino, Siren) O2 Academy, 18:30–22:30, £10

Annual mini-fest featuring a hefty line-up of up-and-coming acts from across Scotland, playing across two stages.

Sun 09 Dec Steve Harley Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £22.50

London-born singer/songwriter best known for his work with Cockney Rebel in the 70s, playing over two nights at Oran Mor.

Lydia Loveless The Art School Union, 19:30–22:00, £7

Ohio-born country-rock singer/songwriter combining heady doses of punk-rock energy with a healthy nod to Patsy Cline et al.

The Family Rain King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £6

Bath-based band of brothers who all had previous projects before embracing tropical indie-rock as The Family Rain.

Wed 05 Dec

Sebastian Tellier (Let’s Talk About Space)

Latecomers

The French singer/songwriter and multi-instrumentalist lurches between lo-fi electronica, bizarre cabaret and frothy pop.

The Arches, 19:30–23:00, £10

Avant Garde, 20:15–22:30, Free

Acoustic pop loveliness from the Glasgow-based outfit.

Viennese Ensemble The Glad Cafe, 14:00–16:00, £tbc

The small Glasgow orchestra play an intimate afternoon set, cherrypicking popular classical music from the 19th and early 20th century.

The Human League O2 Academy, 19:00–22:00, £25

Dave Arcari, Charlie Lankester and The Mojo Killers

The Sheffield new wavers celebrate a mighty 35 years in the business, taking in Glasgow as part of their special 14 date UK tour.

Shield Your Eyes (Cutty’s Gym, Neighbourhood Gout) Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Instrumentally sound English art-core with a reputation for DIY touring and jaw-dropping live performances.

Mission of Burma Mono, 19:30–22:00, £12 adv.

The American post-punksters make their live return – many moons since their last Scottish outing – featuring a new line-up with Bob Weston from Shellac now in tow.

The Temperance Movement (The Selective Service, The River 68’s) Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £8

Alternative rock’n’rollers formed between London and Glasgow in the summer of 2011.

Mumford and Sons SECC, 18:30–22:30, £29.50

The favourited folk-rockers take to the grandiouse surrounds of the SECC.

Thu 06 Dec This Silent Forest (Courtney’s Chain, Donald MacDonald and The Islands) King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £6

Glasgow-based singer/songwriter led six-piece with one foot in modern Scottish folk and the other in joyous pop.

InMe O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £12

Essex rock quartet chock with the emo drum syncopation and Bullet For My Valentine guitars that we’ve come to expect, touring on the back of their fifth LP.

Twenty Twenty (Futureproff, The Promise) Classic Grand, 19:30–22:00, £12.50

Bright-eyed pop-meets-rock trio led by vocialist and guitarist Sam Halliday.

Cut Loose Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

The Glaswegian promo collective draw together something kinda special (and, er, kinda secret) for their Christmas party. Be there.

The Return of Jamfest (Solareye, Becci Wallace, Bill Breaks, Pablo Eskimo, Sal Cam) Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:00–23:00, £donation

The live jam session-cum-musical rammy comes out of retirement for one night only, featuring live sets from the likes of Solareye, Bill Breaks and Becci Wallace. Raising funds for charity.

O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £10

Fri 07 Dec St Deluxe (Static Future)

Talented blues rocker Dave Arcari shares the bill with fellow blues rock’n’rollers Charlie Lankester and The Mojo Killers.

The Smiths Indeed O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £12

The Smiths tribute act.

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £5

Album launch party for the Weegie foursome currently reviving the spirit of US slacker alt-pop, then immediately drowning the bugger in syrupy scumgaze textures.

Gun The Garage, 19:00–22:00, £15

Rock’n’roll outfit formed by the Gizzi brothers in the mid-80s, playing a special double Tut’s date in advance of their live return in 2012.

Dan Baird and Homemade Sin O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £12.50

The Georgia Satellites frontman returns to Glasgow with his rockin’ and rollin’ live band, Homemade Sin.

The Complete Stone Roses O2 Academy, 19:00–22:00, £12

Stone Roses tribute act.

Jack Martello (Alan W.J., Kerri Watt)

Steve Harley Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £22.50

London-born singer/songwriter best known for his work with Cockney Rebel in the 70s, playing over two nights at Oran Mor.

Admiral Fallow Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £14

Louis Abbott and his merry six-piece stage their usual rousing collective rabble of a thing, playing tracks from their newest LP, Tree Bursts In Snow.

Black Keys SECC, 18:30–22:30, £27.50

Akron-formed duo made up of Dan Auerback and Patrick Carney, doing funky things to the blues-rock genre.

Mull Historical Society King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £12.50

London-based acoustic singer/songwriter building his sound on elements of soul, jazz and folk.

Multi-instrumentalist, songwriter and producer Colin MacIntyre re-embraces both the urban and his former alias, touring under his Mull Historical Society guise.

Runrig

The Wave Pictures

King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £5

Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £sold out

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £6 adv.

The Skye band of rockers return with a re-vamped show and set after an 18 month sabbatical from the touring circuit.

Witty indie-pop trio headered by vocalist and guitarist Dave Tattersall.

Dilated: Christmas Party

Glaswegian quartet who rather self-deprecatingly term their sound as ‘failpop’, launching their new single on the night.

Bloc+, 23:00–03:00, Free

The retro hip-hop extravaganza host a Christmas special – and what will also be their Bloc swansong – with the decks manned by the Glaswegian institution that is DJ Muppet.

Anaal Nathtakh Classic Grand, 18:30–22:00, £9

Extreme metal outfit fusing black metal, grindcore, death metal and industrial. Aye, it’s ferocious.

AtticA Rage (Arthemis, Afterlife, The Amorettes) Classic Grand, 19:00–22:00, £10

The Ayreshire rockers celebrate the release of their third album with a show on Scottish soil.

So Many Animal Calls Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £5

Waka Flocka Flame The Arches, 19:00–22:00, £20

The Southern rapper (known to his mammy as Juaquin Malphurs) takes to the road as part of his Friends, Fans and Family tour.

The Seventeenth Century The Glad Cafe, 19:30–22:30, £5

The baroque folk-pop collective do as they do best – threading strings and things through frontman Mark Brendan Farmer’s harmonic songsmithery.

Squeeze (Paul Heaton) O2 Academy, 19:00–22:00, £32.50

The longstanding new wave quintet get back on the live circuit for a special tour, where they’ll be offering fans instant post-gig recordings of each date via an online pop-up shop of tracks – also set to include the first new songs in 14 blaady years!

Monorail 10th Birthday Monorail Records, 19:30–23:00, Free (but ticketed)

Beloved independent record store Monorail celebrates ten glorious years of being with a live line-up that belies their favourited place in the hearts of many a local musician. Alas, we’ve been sworn to secrecy... Let’s just say it’ll be well worth a look.

Mon 10 Dec Enter Shikari Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £18

More in the way of new-wave, posthardcore politicking from the St Albans quartet.

Crooked Fingers (It Girl) The Art School Union, 19:30–22:00, £8

North Carolina ensemble led by former Archers of Loaf lead singer Eric Bachman.

Konk Pack CCA, 20:00–22:00, £5 adv. (£6 door)

Experimental and improvisational jazz, punk and electronic fusion from percussionist Roger Turner, guitarist Tim Hodgkinson and synth maestro Thomas Lehn.

Blochestra: Christmas Show Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Festive-themed live music jam with the collective band of regulars and local musicians; pack a Christmas tune or two, aye.

Madness SECC, 18:30–22:30, From £35

The longstanding Camden Town ska ensemble embark on their biggest UK arena tour ever, showcasing tracks from their forthcoming album.

Tue 11 Dec Detour Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

The Scottish multi-media promoters push out the boat for their end of year spectacular.

Lionel Richie SECC, 18:30–22:30, From £50

Lori McTear The Glad Cafe, 20:00–23:00, £6

More in the way of new-wave, posthardcore politicking from the St Albans quartet.

Mr Smooth himself plays songs from his new album, Tuskegee, alongside a selection of old faves. Rescheduled date.

The Glaswegian singer/songwriter plays her own blend of acoustic pop, soul and folk.

Natalie Duncan

Rufus Wainwright (Adam Cohen)

Complex: No Limits!

Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £10

English soul-meets-blues singer touring her debut album, released earlier in the year.

Chris Cohen (Insect Heroes) Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £6 adv.

The Californian multi-instrumentalist and ex-Deerhoof chap does his solo thing, an all-singing, all-drumming psychedelic pop joy of a thing.

Wed 12 Dec Vukovi King Tut’s, 20:00–23:00, £7

Kilwinning experimental rockers headed by the rather magnificent (read: at screaming) Janine Shilstone.

O2 Academy, 19:00–22:00, £32.50

The American-Canadian singer/ songwriter and composer takes his newest, Mark Ronson-collaborating, album to a live setting – luscious orchestration and charismatic vocals all well and in place.

Olive Grove Records’ Christmas Party (Randolph’s Leap, Jo Mango, The State Broadcasters) The Glad Cafe, 19:00–22:30, £6

Olive Grove Records and their little family of musicians host their version of a

The Garage, 19:00–22:00, £5 adv. (£7 door)

A string of live rap battles – amongst ‘em Wee D squaring up to Lumanes – followed by a selection of homegrown hip-hop acts, including Deadlife and KidRobotik. In the Attic space.

Epica Classic Grand, 18:30–22:00, £16

Symphonic metal heads who specialise in mixing hard, technical and fast soundscapes with intimate and slow moments.

The H Band Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £16

Marillion man Steve Hogarth takes to the road with his solo project, The H Band.

The Cut Throat Razors

Crazy Arm (Salo, Atreides, The Sinking Feeling)

Stereo, 19:30–22:30, £5

The raggle-taggle Glasgow eight-piece launch their new album, a reliably eclectic mix of ska, northern soul, jazz and punky-pop.

13th Note, 20:00–23:00, £tbc

The Devonian roots-punk quartet do their thing.

Eddy and the TBolts (The Jackhammers, Pump Action)

Sun 16 Dec

Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Martha Reeves and The Vandellas

Metallic punk-rockers fae Glasgow, all bishy-bashy and that in their approach.

Stooshe Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £12.50

All-girl R’n’B ensemble from London with a string of chart hits to their name.

Thu 13 Dec Lower Dens King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £9

Alternative electronica-styled quartet from Baltimore, building their wares on gentle rhythms, androgynous vocals and dreamy soundscapes.

The Hives (The Minutes) O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £17.50

The Swedsh garage rock revivalists tour their new album, Lex Hives, with Pelle Almqvist still very much on howlin’ duties.

Action Bronson (Bunty Beats, Cypher Session) O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £14

The Queens rapper and former fireflame gourmet chef (yes, really) raps about food’n’stuff.

Ellie Goulding O2 Academy, 19:00–22:00, £22.50

Hereford-born young singer/songwriter fusing electro-pop and indie-folk into her mix.

LAID: Christmas Party (Midnight Lion, Kitty the Lion) Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Favourited gig-in-a-club night offering up an ever-impressive live line-up of bands, with a little something special for your Christmas joy in the form of live sets from the raar-worthy Midnight Lion and Kitty the Lion.

Songs of Leonard Cohen Mono, 19:30–22:00, £tbc

An evening of Cohen tributes on the anniversary of the legend’s first release.

Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £19

Christmas party, featuring live sets from signees Randolph’s Leap, Jo Mango, and The State Broadcasters, plus mince pies, Christmas songs and all manner of good cheer.

Devin Townsend Project and Fear Factory (Sylosis) O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £17.50

The mighty motown legends take to Oran Mor for a set of hits.

Molotov Jukebox (Nimmo and the Gauntletts, Dixie Fried, Callum Beattie) King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £6

Genre-dodging London sextet layering the sultry tones of lead singer Natalia Tena over a pretty damn inventive rhythm section.

US industrial metal heavyweights Fear Factory square up to Canadian musician and producer Devin Townsend and band, for the Glasgow leg of The Epic Industrialist Tour..

Mika

It Bites

Bridges Burned

O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £17.50

O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £22

The Beirut-born, multi-platinum popster tours on the back of his latest album, The Origin of Love.

Classic Grand, 19:00–22:00, £6

Melodic rock-meets-pop quartet fueled on catchy hooks and a large dollop of prog.

The Paisley and Greenock-hailing metal quintet celebrate the launch of their new EP.

Slow Club: Christmas Tour

Semper Fi (Both Barrels)

Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £10

Rather lovely alternative folkiness from Sheffield duo Charles Watson and Rebecca Taylor, who’re taking their annual hometown Xmas show out on the road this year, to Glasgow’s gain.

The Flutes Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £7.50

The London-based Scots launch their debut album some six years after playing at Sleazy’s under their previous guise of Runner, accompanied by a short film screening of ‘em performing a-top Ben Nevis and Snowdon.

Sat 15 Dec The Twilight Sad Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £15

The Twilight Sad boys play their many-

13th Note, 20:00–23:00, £tbc

The Aberdonian alternative metal quartet come oot all guns blazing, as per.

Mon 17 Dec The View Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £16.50

The Dundee indie-pop scamps tour on the back of their fourth album, Cheeky For A Reason.

Natives (The Detours) King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £5

Hampshire-hailing pop-rockers formerly known as Not Advised.

Rat Scabies and Brian James Pivo Pivo, 19:30–22:00, £12

The founding members of The Damned, Rat Scabies and Brian James, perform first album Damned Damned Damned in

LISTINGS Emmy The Great and Tim Wheeler Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £15

London-based singer/songwriter Emma-Lee Moss (aka Emmy the Great) plays a collaborative festive set with Ash man Tim Wheeler, after releasing a Christmas album together last year.

Tue 18 Dec The View Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £16.50

The Dundee indie-pop scamps tour on the back of their fourth album, Cheeky For A Reason.

Slowfest (Owl John, Kitty and the Lion, This Silent Forest, Prehistoric Friends) Bloc+, 21:00–03:00, Free

Three-day mini festival taking in a host of favourited local acts, including Three Blind Wolves, Kitty and the Lion and the mysterious Owl John (*cough* Scott H and chums in their Scared Hare guise, or summit).

Cerys Matthews Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £23.50

The Welsh songstress and former Catatonia lass does her first mini tour of Scotland, playing a series of ‘by candlelight’ specials. It is the month of Christmas, after all.

Wed 19 Dec Martin John Henry (Behold The Old Bear, Pan) 13th Note, 20:00–23:00, £5

Martin John Henry (aka the frontman of De Rosa) does his solo thing.

Rollor (Young & Young, Imaginary Witch) Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, Free

A good dose of leftfield hardcore and indie from Matt Harris et al.

Michelle Elii King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £7

Urban singer/songwriter blending jazz vocals with her love of R’n’B beats.

Alasdair Roberts and David McGuinness The Glad Cafe, 19:30–22:30, £tbc

Inimitable folk musician and songwriter Alasdair Roberts plays alongside sometime collaborating pal David McGuinness for a programme of piano-and-voice interpretations of traditional Scots ballads.

Slowfest (Three Blind Wolves, Fatherson) Bloc+, 21:00–03:00, Free

Three-day mini festival taking in a host of favourited local acts, including Three Blind Wolves, Kitty and the Lion and the mysterious Owl John (*cough* Scott H and chums in their Scared Hare guise, or summit).

Thu 20 Dec The Saw Doctors Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £22.50

The Irish collective of songwriters celebrate their country of origin through song, as is their way.

Raymond Meade (Neil Sturgeon) King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £6

Glasgow singer/songwriter whose uplifting and melodic brand of tuneage is steeped in classic rock’n’roll roots.

From The Jam

Beth Orton

O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £20

Original Jam member Bruce Foxton and his new band mates perform tracks from the three iconic Jam albums of 1977, in celebration of The Jam’s 35th anniversary.

Oran Mor, 19:00–22:00, £18.50

The Norwich-born chanteuse showcases her latest album, Sugaring Season, the long-awaited (but bloody worth it) follow up to 2006’s Comfort Of Strangers.

Struggle Christmas Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Monthly punk and post hardcore selection from DIY collective Struggletown, soundtracked by the noisy tones of Glasgow’s United Fruit and Citizens – for whom it will also be their farewell show. Sob.

Shelf:Life (The Aviators, UrbanMyth) Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £5

Fri 21 Dec

The alternative rock quartet play a hometown show down’t their beloved Sleazy’s.

Fri 14 Dec The Vatersay Boys Barrowland, 19:00–23:00, £20

The Vatersay (and Barra) foursome play their usual traditional fare, fueled on accordian, bass guitar, drums and pipes.

How To Swim (Turning Plates ) Stereo, 19:00–22:30, £5 (£4)

Shaka Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

yearsin-the-making date at Glasgow Barrowland, taking to the gargantuan Ballroom venue for a special set to mark the end of their current world tour (and the coming of Christmas, obviously).

Malcolm Middleton King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £14

The Mouse That Ate The Cat

Our favourite festive miserablist plays as part of a handful of special acoustic shows, taking in tunes old and new – including songs from his forthcoming 2013 album.

King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £6.50

Thin Lizzy

Orchestral pop ensemble working their magic on guitars, strings, brass and keyboards.

Glasgow-based duo made up of Brian Henderson (lead singer of The Dykeenies) and Colin Keenan (exDrive-By Argument guitarist), making delightful electro-styled indie-pop that uses synths, samples, guitars and layered vocals.

O2 ABC, 19:00–22:00, £26

The last Scottish outing for the Irish hard rock legends following their sellout Glasgow Barrowland date earlier in the year, featuring Dio/Def Leppard guitarist Vivian Campbell and Ricky Warwick of The Almighty on vocals.

its entirety – celebrating what will be its 35th anniversary.

Stereophonics (Gaz Coombes) O2 Academy, 19:00–22:00, £sold out

The Welsh rockers play a special series of Christmas dates, previewing tracks from their new album, due in spring 2013.

Slowfest (Paco Luna, Blue Sky Archives, Friends In America) Bloc+, 21:00–03:00, Free

Three-day mini festival taking in a host of favourited local acts, including Three Blind Wolves, Kitty and the Lion and the mysterious Owl John (*cough* Scott H and chums in their Scared Hare guise, or summit).

The extreme sports acolytes host their mixed media party night, backed by their own unique brand of rhythm, sound and vision.

Culann (White Heath, Papa Zita, Kookaburra) King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £6

Irvine-based rock quintet who’ve christened themselves as ‘folkressive’.

Pretty much sums ‘em up.

The Brotherhood of the Blue Ship The Glad Cafe, 20:00–22:30, £5

Jolty, poly-colliding musical ensemble with a staggering collection of influences, born of the ashes of Punch and the Apostles and comprised of much the same unit.

Black Sun (Io Pan and Noma, Thee Downs, Guanoman) 13th Note, 20:00–23:00

The Glasgow industrialists play selections from their newest album.

December 2012

THE SKINNY 63

LISTINGS

EDINBURGH music

Sat 22 Dec Joe Strummer Tribute Night King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £9

Annual December live band tribute night to the late, great Joe Strummer.

Raising funds for Strummerville.

Tue 04 Dec

Loud & Proud Festive Concert

Gary Numan (Officers)

Fantastic Man

HMV Picture House, 19:00–22:00, £25

Bloc+, 23:00–03:00, Free

Messy Saturday night uber-disco featuring a rotating schedule of live talent.

The Colour Pink Is Gay (The Zonules of Zinn, Slim Mistress) 13th Note, 20:00–23:00, £tbc

The electro-pop pioneer presents a selection of re-worked tracks from his latest LP, alongside new material from his forthcoming album, Splinter, as part of a special seven-date mini tour.

Fred Morrison The Voodoo Rooms, 19:30–01:00, £12

Technical death metal band from Glasgow, playing intense, bludgeoning metal with a progressive bent.

Bagpipes playing bluegrass? Glasgow piper Fred Morrison shows you how it’s done, accompanied by instrumentalist Matheu Watson.

Oddsocks Revivial O2 ABC, 20:00–22:30, £5

Pure Brass

Beecake

The young brass quintet roll out some seasonal favourites alongside some more unusual pieces, as is their way.

Up-and-coming young Irish funk and soul-styled rockers.

Usher Hall, 11:00–12:00, £3 (students free)

Classic Grand, 18:30–22:00, £10

Glasgow alternative rock quartet formed back in late 2006 over a bottle o’ malt whisky in a local bar.

Curtis Stigers Le Monde, 21:00–23:00, £30 adv.

The American jazz vocalist does his thing over a trio of special performances at The Dirty Martini (above Le Monde), trusty saxophone well-and-truly in hand.

By My Hands (Departures, No Second Chance, Pay The Price) Stereo, 19:00–22:30, £6

The Glaswegian hardcore metal maniacs play what will be their final show.

Wed 05 Dec

Sun 23 Dec

Dappy HMV Picture House, 19:00–22:00, £15

Them Beatles Stereo, 19:00–23:00, £12.50

The Beatles tribute act.

The N-Dubz chap entertains the yoof, avec baseball cap.

Obviously.

Dead Man Fall (Colonel Mustard and the Dijon 5)

Curtis Stigers

King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £7

Le Monde, 21:00–23:00, £30 adv.

Glasgow-based alternative indie quartet formed from the ashes of Odeon Beatclub.

The American jazz vocalist does his thing over a trio of special performances at The Dirty Martini (above Le Monde), trusty saxophone well-andtruly in hand.

Dead Xmas (It Girl, No Island, Salo, Deathcats) Pivo Pivo, 20:30–01:00, £3 (free in fancy dress)

More zombiethemed Xmas shenanigans, with live bands, DJs and general brain eating. Free entry for the undead.

Bobok Wee Red Bar, 19:00–22:00, £5 (£4)

The Miss’s 13th Note, 20:00–23:00, Free

Special annual Christmas night hosted

by Glasgow’s soulful pop outfit The Miss’s, at which they’ll also be launching their new EP.

Mon 24 Dec Sixth Avenue Traffic (Rockburn, Black Rising)

June Tabor and Oysterband The Queen’s Hall, 19:00–22:00, £17.50

Some 21-years on, June Tabor reunites with the Oysterband to tour their new LP, Ragged Kingdom, mixing traditional and contemporary folk in their own inimitable style.

Blind Dog

King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £7

Relatively new Glasgow quartet building their sound on a fusion of rock, soul and determination.

Wed 26 Dec

The Third Door, 19:00–22:00, £5 adv. (£6 door)

Edinburgh-based folk-meets-pop quartet formed back in late in 2010.

Christmaspalooza Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £4

Blocxing Day (Tiger Mask McGarvey) Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Bloc mourn the passing of Christmas with a Boxing Day bash of rock’n’roll and psychobilly sounds.

Thu 27 Dec

Students from the Edinburgh Academy of Music and Sound host a live music fundraiser in aid on Nordoff-Robbins

King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £7

Fri 28 Dec

Pianist Artur Pizarro leads a live orchestral performance taking in Rautavaara, Beethoven and Mendelssohn.

The Sneaky Russians (Feet of Clay, The Last of The Free)

Erin Todd, Megan Blyth, Tomlin Leckie

King Tut’s, 20:30–23:00, £7

Coatbridge indie-rockers who’ve been earning their chops on the live circuit for the past two years.

The Third Door, 19:00–22:00, £5 (£4)

Trio of acoustic singer/songwriters for your listening pleasure.

Gallus Cooper, Whit’snake, The Great Cull

Blues Review (The Jensen Interceptors, Stevie Hay’s Shades of Blue, Jed Potts)

Classic Grand, 19:00–23:00, £8

Triple whammy of tribute acts.

Raymond Hackland

The Voodoo Rooms, 19:30–01:00, £10

The blues rockers plays a rare hometown show, accompanied by Holy Bob on lead guitar and a few surprise guests.

Glasgow-based duo made up of Brian Henderson (lead singer of The Dykeenies) and Colin Keenan (exDrive-By Argument guitarist), making delightful electro-styled indie-pop that uses synths, samples, guitars and layered vocals.

64 THE SKINNY

December 2012

HMV Picture House, 18:30–22:00, £15

Stone Roses tribute act.

A Christmas Wish Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, £15 (£12.50)

An evening of Christmas-themed song and dance performed by a collective of over 200 young people, in aid of Barnardos.

Steady State Regime (Seneka, The Durty Wurks, Belle in the Meadows)

Sat 08 Dec

Wee Red Bar, 19:00–22:00, £5 (£4)

All The Young (The Likely Lads)

Glasgow and Edinburgh-straddling psychedelic indie rockers, with synth, rhythm guitar, bass and drums in their mighty mix.

Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £7 adv.

Stock On Trent foursome making indie rock’n’roll with brains and balls.

Props to ‘em.

The Jackals (Plastic Babies, The Vibe, Steve Heron) Wee Red Bar, 19:00–22:00, £5 (£4)

Wed 12 Dec CLIC Sargent Carol Concert Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £10

Guitar-driven psychedelic sounds crossed with gritty songsmithery, served up with a good dose of attitude.

Annual charity concert in aid of CLIC Sargent Scotland.

Thank You So Nice

Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £7 adv.

Elvis Shakespeare, 14:30–15:30, Free

The experimental Edinburgh indiepoppers treat fans to an intimate in-store set, playing tracks from their debut album.

Davey Horne (The Directors) The Cabaret Voltaire, 19:00–22:00, £5

The Ray Summers piano man steps out from behind the keys to front his own folk-rock ensemble.

Thin Lizzy HMV Picture House, 18:00–22:00, £26

Another outing for the Irish hard rock legends following their sell-out Glasgow Barrowland date earlier in the year, featuring Dio/Def Leppard guitarist Vivian Campbell and Ricky Warwick of The Almighty on vocals.

Kevock Choir The Queen’s Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £6

Festive offering of traditional and modern choir favourites from the local singers.

Loud & Proud Festive Concert Stockbridge Parish Church, 19:30–21:45, £9 (£7)

Scotland’s LGBT Choir returns to the acoustic surrounds of Stockbridge Parish Church for their annual festive concert.

Runrig Usher Hall, 19:00–22:00, From £21.50

The Skye band of rockers return with a re-vamped show and set after an 18 month sabbatical from the touring circuit.

Tidings (What the Blood Revealed) The Third Door, 19:00–22:00, £5 (£10 with EP)

The Edinburgh-based cinematic post-metallers celebrate the launch of their debut EP, with support from West Coast post-rock titans What the Blood Revealed.

Henry’s Cellar, 22:30–03:00, £5

Xmas Bruncheon!

Out of the Blue Drill Hall, 11:00–14:30, Free

The Minutes (Pirate Sons) Dublin cousins Mark Austin and Shane Kinsella, joined by fellow Dubliner Tom Cosgrove, grab their Fisher Price guitars for a bit of surging rock’n’roll.

Thu 13 Dec Edinburgh Unlimited (Turning Plates, Peter Kasen, Calum Carlyle, The Sunday Republic) Meadow Bar, 20:00–23:00, £3

Rather fine regular live acoustic session with a four-strong line-up of performers.

Rufus Wainwright Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £22

The American-Canadian singer/ songwriter and composer takes his newest, Mark Ronson-collaborating, album to a live setting – luscious orchestration and charismatic vocals all well and in place.

Is This Music?: 10th Anniversary (Ballboy) Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £6 adv.

Former print – and now online – music blog Is This Music? host their 10th birthday bash, with ballboy playing a headline set marking almost exactly 10 years since they graced the cover of issue two. Adam (of We Were Promised Jetpacks) and We See Lights support.

Fri 14 Dec Indie Funday Friday (Skinny Rhino, Jen and The Gents, The 23s) The Third Door, 19:00–22:00, £4

Monthly indie-pop night where a selection of, er, indie-pop acts play in aid of local charities – this time raising funds for Marie Cure Hospice Edinburgh.

Them Beatles Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £8 adv.

The Damned (The Dickies) HMV Picture House, 19:00–22:00, £16.50

The seminal punk foursome take to the road again, still revelling in their 35th anniversary year.

Christmas Gala Concert St Cuthbert’s Parish Church, 18:00–21:00, £12

The Caves, 19:00–23:00, £11 adv.

British blues ensemble built around harp player Paul Lamb.

Mon 10 Dec Bootleg Beatles Usher Hall, 20:00–22:00, From £23.50

The Beatles tribute act.

Summerhall, 12:00–23:00, £12 (£10)

All-day multi-arts festival from the creative folk at Tinderbox Project, weaving together up-and-coming musicians alongside more established local acts, plus a market, exhibitions, fashion shows and live performance spread across the whole of Summerhall.

Shields Up, Cleavers, Bonehouse Henry’s Cellar, 19:00–22:00, £5

Scottish hardcore triple bill, and what will also be the final show for local riffmongers Shields Up.

Barrabas Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £6

The Market Street covers band trawl through the unexpected classics, with a few Christmas tunes thown in for good measure.

Sun 16 Dec Raymond Gubbay: Christmas Classics Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £15.50

English soprano Lesley Garrett presents a Christmas gala chock with festive classics.

Communion (JP Cooper) Sneaky Pete’s, 19:00–22:00, £5 adv.

Ben Lovett (of Mumford & Sons) brings his touring night Edinburgh-way, with a headline set from soulful Manc singer/ songwriter JP Cooper.

Mon 17 Dec ASIA The Queen’s Hall, 19:30–22:00, £25

Beezer The Cabaret Voltaire, 19:00–22:00, £6

The Scottish period ensemble perform all six cantatas of Bach’s Christmas Oratorio, in a one-er.

The Voodoo Rooms, 20:00–01:00, £7

Tinderbox Fest (Tinderbox Orchestra, Foxgang, Broken Records, North Atlantic Oscillation, Black Diamond Express, Mott Norris and the Moon, Miyagi, Digital Jones, Small Feet Little Toes)

Modern Misfortune (The Rich, The Phlegm, Blue Signal, Selfish Needs)

Band of brothers playing an eclectic mix of indie and sax funk.

Sun 09 Dec Edinburgh-born, London-living poprockers led by frontman Kieran O’Brien.

The Cabaret Voltaire, 19:00–22:00, £5

All-Scottish showcase moving from the indie-rock of The Kiks to the electrodubhop beats of Sharfla.

Henry’s Cellar, 19:00–22:00, £tbc

Ded Rabbit

Weezer tribute act.

Jakil (Run/Lucky/Free)

The Kiks, The Barrels, Sharfla, High Priority

The British classic rockers celebrate their 30th anniversary, with all four original members taking their new album, XXX, on the road.

The Beatles tribute act.

Brunch and live music event in the Drill Hall cafe, this month with a Christmas theme.

Fri 07 Dec Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £5 adv.

fea-

The Complete Stone Roses

Lively programme of festive works by Vivald.

Paul Lamb and The King Snakes (Main Street Blues)

Stereo, 19:00–23:00, £6

Festive music special, turing the first UK schools performance of Karl Jenkins’ Stella Natalis.

The favourited chamber orchestra take in a programme of specially-selected wind concertos.

Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £10

The Edinburgh Grand Opera singers and chorus host their annual Christmas singsong.

The Mouse That Ate The Cat

Dollar Academy Annual Christmas Concert

The Queen’s Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £10

Vivaldi at Christmas

Live blues night featuring a selection of Scottish players.

The Primevals (The Reverse Cowgirls, The Liberty Takers) Longstanding Glasgow psychedelic rockers, on the go since 1983.

The beloved musical dance party take on their annual festive guise, for which they’ve finally managed to secure the wares of spindly-legged Glasgow punk-rockers We Are The Physics.

Classic rock and metal night.

The Queen’s Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £10

Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £6 adv.

Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, £9

Peter Hook and The Light

Scottish Chamber Orchestra: Pizarro plays Beethoven

Glasgow blues quintet of the down and dirty variety.

Sat 15 Dec Scottish Chamber Orchestra: Weber Wind Concertos

Limbo Xmas Shindig (We Are The Physics, Snide Rhythms, The Bad Books)

Full Metal Racket

The Liquid Room, 19:00–22:30, £20

Tue 11 Dec Bath-based band of brothers who all had previous projects before embracing tropical indie-rock as The Family Rain.

The Voodoo Rooms, 20:00–01:00, £7 adv.

Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £6 adv.

The Family Rain

Scotland’s LGBT Choir returns to the acoustic surrounds of Stockbridge Parish Church for their annual festive concert.

Thu 06 Dec The former Joy Division and New Order bassist plays with his new band, The Light, cherrypicking a set of predominantly Joy Division songs.

Dirty Diamond and the Gunslinger (Full Tonne Kidd, Holy Ghosts)

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 19:30–23:00, £6 adv.

Original music taking in elements of Balkan, Russian, ska and punk, sung across four languages.

Stockbridge Parish Church, 19:30–21:45, £9 (£7)

The Birthday Suit

Ludus Baroque: Christmas Oratorio The Queen’s Hall, 19:15–22:00, From £5

RSNO: John Lill Plays Greig Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £11.50

The RSNO’s assistant conductor continues his love affair with the music of the north. Also taking part in a pre-concert talk (6.45pm).

Quiet As A Mouse (The Litigators, The Bare Bones) Wee Red Bar, 19:00–22:00, £5

Edinburgh-based indie, alternative and country-styled quartet.

The Douglas Firs St Augustine’s Church, 19:00–22:00, £4

The acoustic indie-folk storytellers launch their second album, joined on the night by Something Beginning with l, Lamplighter and Snake Until Listen...

And possibly a seasonal beverige, and a mince pie or two.

Fokus The Bongo Club, 19:00–22:00, £15 adv. (£12 door)

Return visit for the talented rapper from Polish hip-hop crew Paktofonika.

Henry’s Cellar, 19:00–23:00, £4

Edinburgh-based alternative rock quintet led by Amber Milne on lead vocals.

Tue 18 Dec James Gillespie’s High School Carol Concert Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £6

Annual carol concert from James Gillespie’s High and primary school, and other associated primaries of Sciennes, Tollcross, Preston Street and Royal Mile.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Christmas Party (The Black Charge, Shameless, Blues ‘n Twos) Electric Circus, 19:00–22:30, £5 adv.

Edinburgh-based bands The Black Charge, Shameless and Blues ‘n Twos host a rock’n’roll-styled Christmas fundraiser in aid of Forth 1’s Cash for Kids.

Wed 19 Dec Red Kites Henry’s Cellar, 19:30–23:30, £5 (£4)

Emotive folk-rock ensemble hailing from Guildford.

Idlewild guitarist Rod Jones plays with his new band, The Birthday Suit – an ever-changing collective of musicians.

Dunedin Consort: Handel’s Messiah The Queen’s Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £12

The Dunedin Consort present their annual festive performance of Handel’s Messiah.

Cerys Matthews The Caves, 19:00–23:00, £23.50 adv.

The Welsh songstress and former Catatonia lass does her first mini tour of Scotland, playing a series of ‘by candlelight’ specials. It is the month of Christmas, after all.

Thu 20 Dec Phil Cunningham’s Christmas Songbook The Queen’s Hall, 20:00–22:00, £22.50

Annual festive fixture, which sees Cunningham and his merry band of Scottish folk players (including Eddi Reader, Kris Drever and John McCusker) belt out festive hits.

Raymond Gubbay: Carols by Candlelight

Kid Canaveral’s Christmas Baubles III (Malcolm Middleton, Meursault, RM Hubbert, Randolph’s Leap, King Creosote Vs FOUND, OnTheFly, The Pictish Trail) The Caves, 13:00–03:00, £16

Affable indie-pop chaps and chapesses Kid Canaveral bring the singalong joy with their third annual Christmas Baubles, featuring a hefty musical line-up, bolstered by live comedy from Josie Long, Elaine Malcolmson and Eleanor Morton.

Elvis Shakespeare: The Christmas Show (Geek Maggot Bingo, The Pink Dogs, Northern Upland Sheep Strategy, Knee Spasm, Cow Cow Boogie, My Electric Love Affair, The Fnords) Elvis Shakespeare, 13:30–18:30, Free

Those fine folk at Elvis Shakespeare throw open their doors for a festive musical all-dayer, featuring live sets from a raggle-taggle bunch of local favourites.

Sun 23 Dec The RSNO Christmas Concert Usher Hall, 15:00–17:00, From £12.50

Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £15.50

Annual family-orientated concert of festive singalong carols, accompanied by a big screen showing of The Snowman. Obviously.

Sound (Miasma, Sea Bass Kid)

Thu 27 Dec

Festive concert of carols and classics, staged in full 18th Century costume by candlelight.

The Voodoo Rooms, 19:00–01:00, £5

Charity music night featuring Edinburgh-based band of rockers, Miasma, and local funk-inflected sextet Sea Bass Kid.

Gin Goblins (Down To Kill) Henry’s Cellar, 19:30–23:30, £5

The Scottish Fiddle Orchestra: Hogmanay Celebration Usher Hall, 19:30–22:00, From £9

A selection of Hogmanay classics given the fiddle treatment by the Scottish Fiddle Orchestra.

Psychotic punk fae outer space, courtesy of local veterans Gin Goblins.

Blues ‘n’ Trouble

Fri 21 Dec

Edinburgh-based blues and boogie ensemble led by singer and harmonica player Tim Elliott.

Phil Cunningham’s Christmas Songbook The Queen’s Hall, 20:00–22:00, £22.50

Annual festive fixture, which sees Cunningham and his merry band of Scottish folk players (including Eddi Reader, Kris Drever and John McCusker) belt out festive hits.

The Rezillos The Liquid Room, 19:00–22:30, £16.50

Running on high octane, guitar driven, melodic anti-mope rock, The Rezillos host their almost annual pre-Christmas knees-up.

The Apple Beggars’ Christmas Show (Callum Beattie) The Caves, 20:00–01:00, £12

Collaborative songwriting project between Kenny Herbert and Rab Howat, playing a special Christmas show.

Barrabas Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £6

The Market Street covers band trawl through the unexpected classics, with a few Christmas tunes thown in for good measure.

Sat 22 Dec Dirty Harry Electric Circus, 19:00–22:00, £8 adv.

Blondie tribute act.

Christmas Songwriters’ Club (Withered Hand, Adam Stafford, The Machine Room, We See Lights, Very Well, Eagleowl, Stanley Odd, John D McIntosh, Easy Tigers, TeenCanteen, Jesus, Baby!)

The Queen’s Hall, 19:00–22:00, £10

The jolly festive night oot takes to the grander surrounds of The Queen’s Hall this year, with Withered Hand, Adam Stafford, The Machine Room, We See Lights, TeenCanteen and Jesus, Baby! all sticking to the basic Songwriters’ Club rule: no bloody covers!

Neville Staple HMV Picture House, 19:00–22:00, £15

The Specials frontman and British ska figurehead takes to the road lonesome.

The Voodoo Rooms, 20:00–01:00, £12

Sun 30 Dec Raymond Gubbay: HMS Pinafore Usher Hall, 15:00–17:00, From £15.50

Gilbert and Sullivan’s nautical tale of romance and mistaken identities performed in a semi-staged concert performance.

dundee music Wed 05 Dec Peter Hook and The Light Fat Sam’s, 19:00–22:00, £20

The former Joy Division and New Order bassist plays with his new band, The Light, cherrypicking a set of predominantly Joy Division songs.

Sat 08 Dec Dave Arcari The Doghouse, 20:00–23:00, £7 (£3)

Talented blues rocker playing a mix of guitar-driven blues and trash country.

Molten Magazine Metal Battle: Final Beat Generator Live!, 19:00–22:30, £7

The Scottish national metal battle of the bands reaches the final stage.

Breath duly held.

Sun 09 Dec Glasvegas Fat Sam’s, 19:00–22:00, £16.50

Boom-voiced James Allan and co do their thing, cue glacial guitars, heavyweight lyrics and mass audience singalongs.

Mon 10 Dec Frank Turner Fat Sam’s, 19:30–22:00, £tbc

The former Million Dead singer turned folk troubadour does his solo thing, full of his usual rockabilly charm.

Tue 11 Dec The Xcerts (The Birthday Suit) Beat Generator Live!, 20:00–22:30, £8

Hard-riffing trio, whose impressive sound has been honed to perfection (i.e. they sound bloody massive live).

Wed 12 Dec Native (Albert Shakespeare, Boy Condor, Cavalcades) Beat Generator Live!, 19:30–22:30, £5

Discordant post-hardcore quartet hailing from Indiana.

Mon 31 Dec

Sat 15 Dec

Afore The Bells

Them Beatles (Courtney’s Chain)

The Queen’s Hall, 21:00–01:00, £45

Traditional-styled Hogmanay party, complete with ceilidh, booze, live music from Heeliegoleerie, a Highland piper bringing in the bells and probably some haggis.

The Year of the Trout: Hogmanay Bash (The Victorian Trout Conspiracy, Big Fat Panda, AlbaRoma, Georgia Gordon, Sal Campbell, Jamie and Shoony) Counting House, 20:30–03:00, £15

Ska rockers Victorian Trout Conspiracy take over the Counting House (and Blind Poet space) for an epic Hogmanay gig night, joined by the likes of fellow skaheads Big Fat Panda and AlbaRoma’s delightful fusion of Balkan and Celtic folk punk.

Concert in the Gardens Princes Street Gardens, 21:00–01:00, From £37.50 (gardens ticket)

Edinburgh’s official Hogmanay parties like it’s, erm, the mid-80s, with a headline set from Jim Kerr-led classic rockers Simple Minds, with support from The View and Bwani Junction.

Non-Zero’s, 20:30–23:00, £tbc

The Beatles tribute act.

Bad Name Beat Generator Live!, 20:00–22:30, £7

Bon Jovi tribute act.

Wed 19 Dec The View Caird Hall, 19:00–22:00, £16.50

The Dundee indie-pop scamps tour on the back of their fourth album, Cheeky For A Reason.

Thu 20 Dec The Proclaimers Caird Hall, 19:30–22:00, £26.50

The Scottish institution that is the Reid brothers play a series of dates to celebrate their ninth album, released some 25 years after their first.

Fri 21 Dec Neville Staple The Doghouse, 20:00–23:00, £15

The Specials frontman and British ska figurehead takes to the road lonesome.

Beats To Beat (Emma’s Imagination, Tommy Reilly, Roddy Hart, The Hazey Janes, Dropkick, Our Little Life, Kance Carter, Stuart Purvey) Fat Sam’s, 19:30–03:30, £15

Various local music-makers come out to play in aid of Cancer Research UK and Maggie’s Centre, with special guests to be revealed.

Thu 27 Dec AB/CD Fat Sam’s, 20:00–22:00, £10

AC/DC tribute act.

Fri 28 Dec The Complete Stone Roses Fat Sam’s, 19:00–22:00, £10

Stone Roses tribute act.

Xmas Punk Special Beat Generator Live!, 20:00–22:30, £6

Beat Generator Live do what they do best: rockin’ out to a punk soundtrack, with live tributes to The Clash, The Sex Pistols and Cock Sparrer.

G lasgow

CLUBs

Tue 04 Dec

Liquid Sky

Killer Kitsch

Formed from the ashes of Pandemic, Chad Palestine plays everything from vintage rock’n’roll to soul, leftfield pop to the best in alternative indie.

Subculture: Residents Special (Harri & Domenic, Junior, Esa & Telford)

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

Electronic music of all ages, for all ages.

Wild Combination Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Kilmarnock’s hairy disco legend, David Barbarossa, digs out some vinyl gems.

i Am: Power Disco (Thunder Disco Club) Sub Club, 23:00–03:00, £5 (or free via iamclub.co.uk)

The third in the series of rawkus Power Disco nights sees Thunder Disco Club joins forces with Beta & Kappa for another all-thrills musical affair.

TV Tuesday The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

New Tuesday nighter with DJ Garry plays a selection of dancefloor-friendly anthems.

Wed 05 Dec Octopussy The Arches, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5)

Chart, indie and electro student favourite, with a bouncy castle an’ all.

Garage Wednesdays The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, £3

Bigfoot Strikes 4! (Christian Burkhardt) SWG3, 23:00–03:00, £10

Bigfoot turn the grand old age of four, marking the occasion with a sprawling party at SWG3, for which they’ve secured the turntablist skills of producer Christian Burkhardt – blasting out via the fuck-off Funktion1 soundsystem, as per the law.

Death Disco XXXMas Party (Jacques Lu Cont) The Arches, 23:00–03:00, £10 adv.

Chameleonic chap Stuart Price again dons his faux-Gallic alter ego, Jacques Lu Cont, to help bring the fun to Death Disco’s Christmas special – and what will also be their last ever party. Sob.

Eddie C The Berkeley Suite, 23:30–03:00, £5

Ontario-raised DJ and producer with a raw and sophisticated approach, who recently re-located and reconnected with the electronic music community in Berlin.

Craig McGee’s staple eclectic mash-up midweeker.

Too Darn Hot!

Take It Sleazy

Lou Hickey and Tony Poprock play a speakeasy mix of rock’n’roll, R’n’B, big band and swing.

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

An unabashed mix of 80s pop, electro and nu-disco. They will play Phil Collins.

ICHI Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

New midweeker playing house, bass and old school hippity-hop.

Thu 06 Dec Misbehavin’ Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£2)

Monthly mish-mash of electro, dance and dirty pop with DJ Drucifer.

Danse Macabre Classic Grand, 23:00–03:00, £4

The Danse Macabre regulars unite those two happiest of bedfellows, goth rock and, er, classic disco, in their new home of Classic Grand.

Taking Back Thursdays Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£2)

Weekend welcoming mix of rock and metal, with guest DJs mixing it up in the Jager Bar.

Cryotec Classic Grand, 23:00–03:00, £3

Monthly dose of industrial, EBM and electronic. We hear it’s very danceable.

Blackfriars Basement, 23:00–03:00, £5

Optimo: 15th Anniversary Party Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £8 (£10 after 12)

JD Twitch and JG Wilkes celebrate a mighty 15 years in the game, almost exactly to the day, bringing with ‘em an extra 1000 watts of sound for every year. Ooft.

Sat 08 Dec Nu Skool Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Nick Peacock spins a selection of vintage disco, soul and funk.

Absolution Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Metal, industrial and pop-punk over two floors.

Cathouse Saturdays

No Sleep (Sven Weissman, DJRUM, Nick Sinna) Chambre 69, 23:00–04:00, £10 (£12 after 12)

Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free (£5/£3 student after 12)

Love Music Saturday night disco with Gerry Lyons and guests.

New Life Bloc+, 23:00–03:00, Free

Fun Saturday nighter featuring one band and one DJ, and all for but one of your earth pounds.

I Heart Garage Saturdays: Cartoon Network Vs Nickleodeon The Garage, 22:30–03:00, £7 (£5)

Student superclub playing everything from hip-hop to dance and funk to chart, this edition being a cartoon special with prices for the best dressed character.

Sun 09 Dec Sunday Roaster The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Garry and Andrew Kilgour incite more mayhem than should really be allowed on the Sabbath.

Thunder Disco Club Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

The Thunder Disco Club residents churn out the 90s house, techno and disco hits.

Renegade Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £2 (£1)

Rock, metal and punk requests all night long with yer man DJ Mythic.

Mon 10 Dec Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3/Free with wage slip)

Space Invader The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Andy R plays chart hits and requests past and present, with DJ Muppet holing up in The Attic.

Tue 11 Dec Killer Kitsch Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

Electronic music of all ages, for all ages.

Euan Neilson handpicks a selection of classic R’n’B and hip-hop.

Rip This Joint

Shore

DJ Jopez plays a choice selection of indie, rock, blues and funk.

The Scottish multi-media promoters push out the boat for their end of year spectacular.

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Eclectic new party night playing everything from the electronic aquatic funk of Drexciya to the outer-space jazz of Sun Ra.

Fri 07 Dec Old Skool

Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

Osmium Blackfriars Basement, 23:00–03:00, Free (£4 after 12)

Blair and Gary play Italo, disco, synthpop, funk and a whole bunch of other stuff aimed at making you throw yourself about with abandon.

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Wrong Island

Damnation

The legendary Teamy and Dirty Larry spin some fresh electronics for your aural pleasure.

Connoisseur’s mix of old-school jazz, funk and soul.

Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Alternative rock, metal, punk and ska.

Propaganda O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £4

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

Cathouse Fridays Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

Rock, metal, punk and emo over two levels, with the residents manning the decks.

Badseed Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

Badass mix of indie, rock and electro with DJ Heather McCartney.

Booty Call The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Mixed bag of indie, rock, underground hip-hop and chart classics across four rooms.

Jamming Fridays Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free

Indie rock’n’roll from the 60s to the 00s, with resident tune-picker DJ Jopez.

Tribute (A Made Up Sound) La Cheetah Club, 23:00–03:00, £8

The Tribute regulars mix it up with a guest set from A Made Up Sound, as in he of the oddball, funk-fuelled take on house and techno.

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, £3

Voodoo (Under 18s) Cathouse, 16:00–21:00, £4 (£2 members)

Under 18s rock night playing, er, anything and everything rock.

Pretty Ugly: 2012 D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Party The Admiral, 23:30–04:00, £5 (£7 after 12)

Favourited indie night headed up by a trio of female DJs, this month paying its last respects to 2012 with one final blow-out playing the best tunes of 2012 – and a few break-up anthems to boot.

GK Machine The Berkeley Suite, 23:45–03:00, £3

Gerry Blythe and Gordon Mackinnon (aka GK Machine) tap into all thing electronic and unexpected from Glasgow’s underground music scene.

Factory22 (Space Dimension Controller) The Glue Factory, 22:00–02:00, £8 adv. (£10 door)

Suitably cool warehouse bash with galactic funk chap Space Dimension Controller special guesting, alongside Thunder Disco Club, Sub Rosa, Vitamins and a back-to-back set from Stay Fresh’s Jasper and Josh.

Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

Wild Combination Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Kilmarnock’s hairy disco legend, David Barbarossa, digs out some vinyl gems.

i Am (JD Twitch) Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £5 (or free via iamclub.co.uk)

Resident young guns Beta & Kappa welcome one half of Optimo, Mr JD Twitch, to join ‘em on deck duties.

TV Tuesday The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

New Tuesday nighter with DJ Garry plays a selection of dancefloor-friendly anthems.

Wed 12 Dec Octopussy The Arches, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5)

Chart, indie and electro student favourite, with a bouncy castle an’ all.

Weirdo Wednesday Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Rock’n’roll party with live bands playing on the floor.

Crayola (Hector Bizerk, The Girobabies) The Flying Duck, 20:30–03:00, £1

New student fun night playing the best in techno, acid and house, with this edition bolstered by an earlier doors opening time to take in live sets from Hector Bizerk and The Girobabies.

Buff International Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

The buff goes all international with a tropical-styled night of dancehall and reggae, in honour of Don Salazar’s taking to the decks.

Grarage Wednesdays The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Craig McGee’s staple eclectic mash-up midweeker.

Rock, indie and golden indie classics with resident DJ Heather McCartney.

Love Music O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, Free (£5 after 11.30)

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Kilmarnock’s hairy disco legend, David Barbarossa, digs out some vinyl gems.

i Am: Closing Party Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £5 (or free via iamclub.co.uk)

Saturday night disco with Gerry Lyons and guests.

Resident young guns Beta & Kappa play the usual mix of electronica and bass, in what will be their final party of 2013.

Taking Back Thursdays

Rip This Joint

TV Tuesday

Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£2)

Weekend welcoming mix of rock and metal, with guest DJs mixing it up in the Jager Bar.

Jellybaby O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £3 adv. (£5 door)

Chart, disco and party tunes. Can’t say fairer.

Euan Neilson handpicks a selection of classic R’n’B and hip-hop.

Stereo, 23:00–03:00, £1

Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free (£5/£3 student after 12)

Wild Combination

Alternative pop from the 80s and 90s, with a bit of industrial dance and classic rock thrown in for good measure.

Saturdays in Stereo (Sacred Paws, Fielding Hope)

Detour

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4

Classic Grand, 23:00–03:00, £3

Rubix

Delightful clubber’s mash-up of alternative pop, indie and electro.

The Afterparty

Subversion

No Sleep round off the year in style with a three-strong line up of acts, with Sven Weissman, DJRUM and Nick Sinna all doing their thing on the decks, plus the joys of an extended 4am licence for the occasion.

Long-running trade night with Normski, Zeus and Mash spinning disco beats.

Boom Thursdays The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

The residents from Void go head-tohead for one night only.

The Rock Shop

O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, Free (£5 after 11.30)

Chart and indie anthems, plus a live Twitter feed where you can log tune requests (#Garagelive).

La Cheetah Club, 23:00–03:00, Free (£3 after 12)

Burn

Rock, indie and golden indie classics with resident DJ Heather McCartney.

Chart, disco and party tunes. Can’t say fairer.

Void Militia Throwdown

Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

Punk, rock and metallic beats with DJs Billy and Muppet.

O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £3 adv. (£5 door)

Jellybaby

Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Special edition of the long-running house night featuring a full contingent of residents.

Thu 13 Dec

LISTINGS The Rock Shop

Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

The bass music special returns for another installment.

The Afterparty Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4

Shore Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Eclectic new party night playing everything from the electronic aquatic funk of Drexciya to the outer-space jazz of Sun Ra.

Boom Thursdays: Disney on Ice The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

DJ Jopez plays a choice selection of indie, rock, blues and funk.

Shout Bamalama Blackfriars Basement, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

Vintage 50s and 60s dancefloor sounds handpicked from genres of R’n’B, rock’n’roll and soul.

The Garage, 22:30–03:00, £7 (£5)

Garage Wednesdays

Student superclub playing everything from hip-hop to dance and funk to chart, this edition being a cartoon special with prices for the best dressed character.

Symbiosis (Nebulus) Audio, 22:00–03:00, Free

Innovative D’n’B beats in a relaxed, bass-rich environment complete with guests DJs and live visuals from Altronix.

Voodoo (Under 18s) Cathouse, 16:00–21:00, £4 (£2 members)

Fri 14 Dec

1940s-themed fun night, with a dressup vibe, specially-co9mmissioned visuals and dancing into the wee hours to everything from Glenn Miller to Ella Fitzgerald.

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Damnation Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Alternative rock, metal, punk and ska.

Kino Fist Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, £3

Genre-spanning mix of 60s psych, leftfield pop and Krautrock with resident Charlotte (of Muscles of Joy).

Propaganda O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £4

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

Cathouse Fridays Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

Rock, metal, punk and emo over two levels, with the residents manning the decks.

Badseed

Blitzed The Old Hairdressers, 21:00–01:00, £5

Madeon The Arches, 23:00–05:00, £15

The Nantes-born electronic wunderkind, aka Hugo Pierre Leclercq, plays the final date of his UK tour.

TYCI (Pins, Adele Bethel DJ) Bloc+, 23:00–03:00, Free

The all-female collective, blog and fanzine brings together a selection of live acts and DJs for their monthly party night.

Oddio (Jim Hutchison) The Berkeley Suite, 23:45–03:00, £5

The new monthly residency welcome a set from former Soma Records A&R man and stalwart of the Glasgow club scene, Jim Hutchison.

Santa Photobomb Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

Cathouse continue the Santa countdown with a night of rock, metal, punk and, er, a ‘Santa Photobomb’ competition.

Booty Call

Subculture (Instruments of Rapture)

Badass mix of indie, rock and electro with DJ Heather McCartney.

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Mixed bag of indie, rock, underground hip-hop and chart classics across four rooms.

Jamming Fridays Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free (£5/£3 student after 12)

Indie rock’n’roll from the 60s to the 00s, with resident tune-picker DJ Jopez.

Future Days (John Petrie) The Berkeley Suite, 23:45–03:00, £3

Minimal wave, world rhythms and liquid funk with Ian Crawford and John Petrie.

Return To Mono (Alex Under) Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £12 (£10)

Monthly night from Soma Records, with producer/DJ duo Slam (aka Stuart McMillan and Orde Meikle) this time welcoming back native Spaniard Alex Under for a return guest slot.

CC Sound Blackfriars Basement, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£4)

Reggae and dub underground sounds.

La Cheetah Club: Legowelt La Cheetah Club, 23:00–03:00, £10

Dutch electronic musican Legowelt sets La Cheetah ablaze, his new album advancing his trademark sound into a new dancefloor-friendly direction – mangling up the historical foundations of New York, Detroit, Chicago and early UK rave.

Dress To Impress: Christmas Office Party Special The Flying Duck, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Dress To Impress host their version of a Christmas party, playing mainly indie, pop and electro guilty pleasures.

Sat 15 Dec Nu Skool Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Nick Peacock spins a selection of vintage disco, soul and funk.

Black Tent Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, £3

Indie, electro and anything inbetween with Pauly (My Latest Novel), and Simin and Steev (Errors).

Absolution Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Metal, industrial and pop-punk over two floors.

The Arches, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5)

Chart, indie and electro student favourite, with a bouncy castle an’ all.

Under 18s rock night playing, er, anything and everything rock.

Connoisseur’s mix of old-school jazz, funk and soul.

Wed 19 Dec Octopussy

I Heart Garage Saturdays

Disney-themed special of the chart and indie anthems night, with the best dressed winning a tablet filled with a load of Disney movies.

Old Skool

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

New Tuesday nighter with DJ Garry plays a selection of dancefloor-friendly anthems.

Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Subculture residents Harri & Domentic hand over the reins to a selection of choice nu-disco and house picks from the Instruments Of Rapture label.

Work For Love (Mermaids, Bop Gun Vs Gost Wan) La Cheetah Club, 23:00–03:00, Free

Slow-burn disco jams are the order of the day (well, actually, night) as Mermaids take to the decks, bolstered along by a back-to-back set from Bop Gun and Gost Wan.

The Twilight Sad: Official After-Party The Flying Duck, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3 with gig ticket)

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Craig McGee’s staple eclectic mash-up midweeker.

MILK Christmas Party (Summer Takes Another Romance, Garden of Elks) Flat 0/1, 21:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

Christmas edition of the rather ace gig-in-a-club night, this time featuring an array of supergroups – including their very own super choir made up of bands from the local scene – plus cookies, mince pies and milky white Russians. Amen.

Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Music from across the globe with the ever-capable residents Auntie Flo and Esa Williams.

Renegade Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £2 (£1)

Rock, metal and punk requests all night long with yer man DJ Mythic.

O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £3 adv. (£5 door)

Chart, disco and party tunes. Can’t say fairer.

Boom Thursdays The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Chart and indie anthems, plus a live Twitter feed where you can log tune requests (#Garagelive).

The Afterparty Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4

Euan Neilson handpicks a selection of classic R’n’B and hip-hop.

Shore Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Eclectic new party night playing everything from the electronic aquatic funk of Drexciya to the outer-space jazz of Sun Ra.

Taking Back Thursdays: Student Christmas Party Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£2)

Special student Christmas party, complete with a ‘decorate a mate’ competition – y’know, as in make your friend look stupid.

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Tue 18 Dec Killer Kitsch

Fresh night upping the soundsystem culture in Glasgow, with live guests Boddiker and Randomer marking the return of the night to its monthly slot at Chambre 69.

Basement Jams (Mike Huckaby) La Cheetah Club, 23:00–03:00, £10

Detroit techno legend Mike Huckaby decends on the basement to teach everyone how it’s done.

Cathouse, 16:00–21:00, £4 (£2 members)

Under 18s rock night playing, er, anything and everything rock.

Kill Yr Idols The Berkeley Suite, 23:45–03:00, £3

DIY disco with a punk attitude, where psychedelic voodoo grooves meet souped-up turbo-tech, played out by Kris ‘Wasabi’ Walker and residents GK Machine and G Blythe.

The Electric Frog: Christmas Warehouse Party (Jeff Mills, Slam, Hans Bouffmyhre, Lindsay Green) SWG3, 21:00–03:00, £15 adv.

The Electric Frog gang surpass themselves with one almighty Christmas blow-out, headlined by the infamous techno pioneer/legend/behemoth that is Jeff Mills, bolstered along by Slam, Hans Bouffmyhre and Lindsay Green.

Mayan End of the World Party Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

With the world supposedly having selfdestructed by now (so say the Mayans), Cathouse of course invite y’all to dress as zombies and revel in The End.

Subculture (Mano le Tough) Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Subculture residents Harri & Domentic hand over the reins to Irish musician/ DJ/producer Mano le Tough (aka Niall Mannion) for a set of futurist house.

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Offbeat: 1st Birthday

Absolution

The Offbeat gang celebrate one year in the game with a special residents and friends party.

Nick Peacock spins a selection of vintage disco, soul and funk.

Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Metal, industrial and pop-punk over two floors.

The Rock Shop Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free (£5/£3 student after 12)

Rock, indie and golden indie classics with resident DJ Heather McCartney.

Love Music O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, Free (£5 after 11.30)

Saturday night disco with Gerry Lyons and guests.

Rip This Joint Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

DJ Jopez plays a choice selection of indie, rock, blues and funk.

La Cheetah Club, 23:00–03:00, £4

Singles Night: Christmas Party The Flying Duck, 23:00–03:00, £5

Andy Divine and Chris Geddes’ gem of a night deciated to 7-inch singles from every genre imaginable, and likely a Christmas tune or ten.

Afro-Latin Concrete Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, £3

Martin Law and Craig Reece play a selection of funk party breaks from back in’t day.

Saturdays in Stereo (Aggi Doom, Shakin’ All Over) Stereo, 23:00–03:00, £1

Fun Saturday nighter featuring one band and one DJ, and all for but one of your earth pounds.

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Damnation Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Alternative rock, metal, punk and ska.

Propaganda O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £4

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

Cathouse Fridays Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

Rock, metal, punk and emo over two levels, with the residents manning the decks.

Badseed Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

Bottle Rocket Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, £3

Sensu Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Barry Price and Junior provide the cutting edge electonic from across the globe, with guests being kept tightly under wraps for what promises to be a pretty special one (all eyes on Facebook for the grand reveal).

Shaka Bloc+, 21:00–01:00, Free

The extreme sports acolytes host their mixed media party night, backed by their own unique brand of rhythm, sound and vision.

Mixed bag of indie, rock, underground hip-hop and chart classics across four rooms.

Andy R plays chart hits and requests past and present, with DJ Muppet holing up in The Attic.

Bad News (Boddika, Randomer) Chambre 69, 23:00–04:00, £8 adv. (£10 door)

Voodoo (Under 18s)

Connoisseur’s mix of old-school jazz, funk and soul.

Burn

Space Invader

Stereo, 19:00–03:00, £5

With the world pencilled to selfdestruct on this very eve, Stereo play host to a night of live bands and DJs, with the countdown to midnight marking the emergence of some very special guests...

Bloc+, 23:00–03:00, Free

Messy Saturday night uber-disco featuring a rotating schedule of live talent.

Fri 21 Dec

Booty Call

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3/Free with wage slip)

The Apocalypse: End of the World Party (The Girobabies, Echo-Bass, Punto the Feef, Scotland Yard)

Fantastic Man

Old Skool

Mon 17 Dec Long-running trade night with Normski, Zeus and Mash spinning disco beats.

The award-winning DJ, producer, label manager and all-round talented bugger does his trademark ‘big room house’ thing.

Sat 22 Dec

Indie dancing club, playing anything and everything danceable.

Highlife

The Arches, 22:00–03:00, £20 adv.

Nu Skool

Sun 16 Dec The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Hardwell (Dannic)

Thu 20 Dec

Badass mix of indie, rock and electro with DJ Heather McCartney.

Garry and Andrew Kilgour incite more mayhem than should really be allowed on the Sabbath.

The Berkeley Suite, 23:30–03:00, £5

Scott Fraser and Timothy J. Fairplay host their favourited music club playing a decidedly left-field selection of Krautrock, electronic, dub and everything inbetween.

Jellybaby

Official after-bash for The Sad’s Barrowland gig, featuring a live DJ set from the boys themselves.

Sunday Roaster

Crimes Of The Future

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Jamming Fridays Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free (£5/£3 student after 12)

Indie rock’n’roll from the 60s to the 00s, with resident tune-picker DJ Jopez.

The End The Flying Duck, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Michael Stuart and the Super Inuit DJs celebrate the coming of the end of the world.

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

Electronic music of all ages, for all ages.

December 2012

THE SKINNY 65

LISTINGS

G lasgow I Heart Garage Saturdays: The Garage Santa Dash The Garage, 22:30–03:00, £7 (£5)

The favourited Saturday student superclub hosts a special Santa-themed edition, with a free Santa suit for the first 100 folk through the door.

CLUBs

Boom Thursdays

Love Music

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, Free (£5 after 11.30)

Chart and indie anthems, plus a live Twitter feed where you can log tune requests (#Garagelive).

Saturday night disco with Gerry Lyons and guests.

The Afterparty

Rip This Joint

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £4

Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

Sun 23 Dec

Euan Neilson handpicks a selection of classic R’n’B and hip-hop.

DJ Jopez plays a choice selection of indie, rock, blues and funk.

Sunday Roaster

Contagion

I Heart Garage Saturdays

Classic Grand, 23:00–03:00, £3

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Alternative metal and punk playlists with DJ Scapegoat on the last Thursday of the month.

Garry and Andrew Kilgour incite more mayhem than should really be allowed on the Sabbath.

Shore

Let Your Elf Go

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

Sub Club, 22:30–04:00, £5

The Garage, 22:30–03:00, £7 (£5)

Student superclub playing everything from hip-hop to dance and funk to chart, this edition being a cartoon special with prices for the best dressed character.

Annual pre-Christmas merry-maker, with various club favourites – amongst ‘em Sensu, Pro Vinylist Karim, and Thunder Disco Club – taking to the decks to raise funds for Yorkhill Children’s Foundation.

Eclectic new party night playing everything from the electronic aquatic funk of Drexciya to the outer-space jazz of Sun Ra.

Thunder Disco Club

Renegade

Fri 28 Dec

South Side Summer Soul

Old Skool

Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £2 (£1)

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Rock, metal and punk requests all night long with yer man DJ Mythic.

Connoisseur’s mix of old-school jazz, funk and soul.

Mon 24 Dec

The Hot Club

Burn

Tearin’ it up with 60s psych-outs and modern sleaze, provided by Rafla and Andy (of The Phantom Band).

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, £3

Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3/Free with wage slip)

Long-running trade night with Normski, Zeus and Mash spinning disco beats.

Damnation

Bad Santa

Alternative rock, metal, punk and ska.

Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Propaganda

Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £tbc

The Cathouse host a special Christmas welcoming night, with prizes for the best dressed Santas.

O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £4

The Nightmare Before Chrismas The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

Cathouse Fridays Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

Messy Christmas eve party night, ensuring your head is well-and-truly thumping come Christmas morn. Amen to that.

Rock, metal, punk and emo over two levels, with the residents manning the decks.

Tue 25 Dec

Slouch, 23:00–03:00, Free

Badseed Badass mix of indie, rock and electro with DJ Heather McCartney.

The Annual Garage White Night

Friday Street

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Blackfriars Basement, 22:00–03:00, £5

DJ Garry plays an all-anthems mix to get y’all dancing on Christmas night, with free selection boxes to the first 100 folk through the door.

Classic mod sounds, northern soul and 60s-styled R’n’B.

Wed 26 Dec

Mixed bag of indie, rock, underground hip-hop and chart classics across four rooms.

Booty Call The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

So Weit So Good

Jamming Fridays

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

All-vinyl adventure bringing together some of the finest DJs from in and around Glasgow, playing an eclectic mix of from classic disco to afro-groovers, and detroit techno to forward-thinking dance genres.

Colours Winter Party 2012 (Dash Berlin, W&W, Mark Knight, Manuel De La Mare) Colours return for their annual cobwebclearing Boxing Day blow-out, with various guests split between a house arch and a trance arch.

Soma Boxing Day Party Chambre 69, 23:00–04:00, £12

Soma work off the turkey with a special Boxing Day party, for which they’ll be joined by two of Glasgow’s most illustious techno producers: Funk D’Void and Vince Watson.

Boxing Day Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £tbc

60s mod happening with Jamo and pals playing a load of 45s for your dancing pleasure.

Chart, indie and electro student favourite, with a bouncy castle an’ all.

Jellybaby O2 ABC, 23:00–03:00, £3 adv. (£5 door)

Chart, disco and party tunes. Can’t say fairer.

Animal Farm Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Dancefloor-filling techno nuts Animal Farm take to the decks, no doubt with some special guests in tow.

66 THE SKINNY

The Berkeley Suite, 23:00–03:00, £10

The Flying Duck, 23:00–03:00, £5

Thu 27 Dec

Weekend welcoming mix of rock and metal, with guest DJs mixing it up in the Jager Bar.

Transmission (Richard Fearless)

Super Inuit

Octopussy

Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£2)

Bloc+, 22:00–03:00, Free

Damn fine evening of hip shakers and neck breakers, welcoming Scotland’s own take on Led Zepp, in the form on Ned Zeppelin – featuring members of Holy Mountain.

Fresh Bristol producer Eats Everything mans the decks for the evening.

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Taking Back Thursdays

Shake Appeal: Christmas Party (Ned Zeppelin)

Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Craig McGee turns the comedown of Boxing Day into a party, with his staple eclectic mash-up midweeker.

Full-on mix of nu-metal and hard rockin’ tunes, with yer man DJ Muppet.

The Arches, 22:00–04:00, £20 adv.

Eats Everything

Bouncy Boxing Night

Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£2)

Inside Out: White Party

One half of Death in Vegas, Richard Fearless, pays his second visit to Transmission – never failing to unearth some new sounds.

The Cathouse host a Boxing Day fun’n’games night, complete with live Sumo Suit Wrestling. As you do.

Counterfeit

Indie rock’n’roll from the 60s to the 00s, with resident tune-picker DJ Jopez.

Annual hard dance and trance-styled ‘White Party’, featuring a headline set from Eddie Halliwell – playing his trademark versatile mix of trance, techno, house and electro.

The Arches, 21:30–04:00, From £24.50 adv.

The Arches, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5)

Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free (£5/£3 student after 12)

Sat 29 Dec Nu Skool Buff Club, 23:00–03:00, £6

Nick Peacock spins a selection of vintage disco, soul and funk.

Absolution Classic Grand, 22:30–03:00, £6

Metal, industrial and pop-punk over two floors.

Cathouse Saturdays Cathouse, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£5)

Punk, rock and metallic beats with DJs Billy and Muppet.

The Rock Shop Maggie May’s, 22:00–03:00, Free (£5/£3 student after 12)

Rock, indie and golden indie classics with resident DJ Heather McCartney.

December 2012

Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:30–03:00, Free

The Thunder Disco Club residents churn out the 90s house, techno and disco hits.

Pollok Ex-Servicemens Club, 20:00–01:00, £5

hogmanay Mon 31 Dec Club Noir Hogmanay Classic Grand, 21:00–04:00, £20 adv.

Glasgow’s burlesque star teasers host the New Year’s edition of their favourited raunchy cabaret club, with two floors of DJs, dancing and live performance. Dress fancy.

GBXperience NYE (George Bowie, Angerfist, Loki, Marc Loage) The Arches, 21:00–04:00, £20 adv.

Massive NYE fun night spread across four rooms: the Main Arch, Dance Arch, Playroom and Cafe Bar – with guests a-go-go in each, naturally.

Love Music Vs Propaganda Hogmanay Party O2 ABC, 22:00–03:00, £10

Common People 90s Hogmanay Party (Bis) The Flying Duck, 21:00–04:00, £10 adv. (£15 door)

Favourited Glasgow haven The Flying Duck host a Hogmanay throwback to the 90s, with Manda Rin and her Bis cohorts playing a special set, alongside the Common People DJs and a good ol’ game o’ bingo.

Sub Club Hogmanay Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Hector’s House

La Cheetah present an NYE throwdown over two floors, with residents from Vitamins, Tribute, Offbeat and This is our House squaring up to none other than Detroit house veteran Terrence Parker.

Glasgow City Social Club’s NYE Party

Renegade Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £2 (£1)

Rock, metal and punk requests all night long with yer man DJ Mythic.

Slide It In: Christmas Special Cathouse, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£2)

Nicola Walker plays cult rock hits from the 70s, 80s and 90s, and maybe a Christmas classic or two.

Trash and Burn: Xmas Special Classic Grand, 23:00–03:00, £4

Christmas party edition of the monthly glam trash and sleaze tease party, with guest burlesque performers, magicians and a bit o’ belly dancing. How very festive.

Graeme Park Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Former Hacienda resident and Granite City-born Graeme Park does his housefocused thing, being on of the first DJs the champion the sound in the UK.

Midweek student rundown of chart and cheese classics.

Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £1.99 (£2.99 after 12)

DJs Swank’n’Jams seamlessly mix tropical beats and swing rhythms, mashed up with some well-kent classics.

Thu 06 Dec Frisky

Vespbar, 15:00–00:00, Free

Garry and Andrew Kilgour incite more mayhem than should really be allowed on the Sabbath.

The Hive, 22:00–03:00, £1 (£3 after 11)

Zoot

A rotating selection of Glasgow’s finest DJs dig oot tunes from their personal collections, with a pop-up vinyl stall open from 3pm-8pm.

The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3)

Bangers & Mash

Sneaky’s resident bass spectacular of garage, dubstep and bassline house.

The Saturday Sessions

Sun 30 Dec

Wed 05 Dec

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

Under 18s rock night playing, er, anything and everything rock.

Sunday Roaster

Electronic basslines allied with homecooked house beats.

Witness

Cathouse, 16:00–21:00, £4 (£2 members)

Audio, 23:00–04:00, £5 adv. (£6.50 door)

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–03:00, £6 (£5)

Indie, pop and alternative favourites with a danceable beat, from LCD Soundsystem to The Ting Tings.

Voodoo (Under 18s)

Fine purveyors of pounding techno, the Orderly Disorder crew celebrate four years of club nights, free parties, festivals and mental rave-ups.

The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £1

The Liquid Room, 22:30–03:00, £3 (£1)

Blackfriars Basement, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£3.50)

Orderly Disorder: 4th Birthday

I Love Hip-Hop

Indigo

Debut night for new D’n’B purveyors on the block.

Subculture residents Harri & Domentic welcome Chicago house legend Derrick Carter to their lair. We’ll do the screaming.

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

La Cheetah Club, 23:00–04:00, £15 earlybird, £20 therefter

Misanthropy

Sub Club, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

Soul Jam Hot

Selection of hip-hop classics and brand-new classics to be.

The Flying Duck, 23:00–03:00, £5

Subculture (Derrick Carter)

DJ Simonotron hosts the gay disco party like no other, playing disco, house and acid on vinyl only.

The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

Alternative anthems cherrypicked from genres of rock, indie and punk.

NYE: La Cheetah Club Vs Vitamins (Terrence Parker)

Resident DJs Jer Reid, Martin Law and guests play music from, and some music inspired by, 1970s and early 80s NYC.

Members of Glasgow’s post-hardcore noise-masters, United Fruit, curate their lively monthly event of big-beat alternative indie.

Hot Mess

Fresh mix of funk, soul, disco and hippity-hop from the Soul Jam Hot DJs.

Houndin’ The Streets

Bloc+, 23:00–03:00, Free

Tue 04 Dec Antics

Sub Club throw what is all-but guaranteed to be one almight Hogmanay bash, with full details still in the plotting stages. Dirty teases.

DJs Fraser Dunn, Felonious Munk and guests play an all-vinyl mix of soul, motown and R’n’B from the 60s and 70s.

Teenage Riot (Crusades)

edinburgh C L U B S

Osmanay Blackfriars Basement, 22:00–03:00, £7

Osmium residents Gary and Blair return for a second year of Hogmanay mayhem down’t Blackfriars, encouraging you to dance yourselves into a frothy-mouthed frenzy to their crazy soundtrack of Italo, synthed-oot disco and funk.

Shaka New Year Bloc+, 22:00–03:00, Free

The extreme sports acolytes host a special NYE edition of their mixed media party night, backed as per by their own unique brand of rhythm, sound and vision.

Melting Pot Hogmanay The Admiral, 22:00–04:00, £10 adv.

The Melting Pot residents hold their annual Hogmanay bash, with special guests 6th Borough Project (aka house super-duo Craig Smith and Graeme Clark) holding fort in the main room, plus Andrew Divine and pals creating a psychedelic soul lounge upstairs.

Cathouse NYE Cathouse, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

The Cathouse celebrate New Year as only they know how – with a classic rock, metal and punk-styled party.

Pi-Eyed New Year’s Eve Meltdown (Demon Cabbage, Taz Buckfaster, Parliamentalist, Santisma Virgen Maria, Babyshaker, Dave Shades, NoFace, Squish Kibosh, Alcane) Audio, 22:00–04:00, Free

The Pi-Eyed crew host a free-entry NYE bash, featuring a back-to-back sesh from Bangface’s Hard Crew Hero, Demon Cabbage, and Scottish producer/ DJ Taz Buckfaster, amongst myriad other live guests. Basically, expect everything rave.

In & Out of The Buff Buff Club, 21:30–04:00, £10

The Buff celebrate Hogmanay in their usual fun way, with three floors of live bands, resident DJs and a piper to boot, taking place indoors and spilling out into Bath Lane.

Optimo Hogmanay 2012 The Glue Factory, 22:00–04:00, £20 adv.

A core event on the Optimo calendar, JD Twitch and JG Wilkes return to the underground art hub of The Glue Factory for their New Year’s mega party, with the old faithful turbo soundsystem most definitely in tow.

Saint Judes, 21:00–04:00, £8 earlybird (£10 thereafter)

The house specialists end the year in emphatic style, taking over both floors of Saint Judes with sets from the likes of Gavin Herlihy, Adam Shelton, Spittal, Lewis L James and Alex Caslano.

Ashton Lane Hogmanay Street Party Ashton Lane, 20:00–01:00, £25

Ashton Lane comes out to play with an outdoor street party featuring live bands – including headliners Sketch and their Celtic-based dancefloor sounds – plus DJs, a live piper, street performers and, yes, fireworks.

Hells Bells Hogmanay Maggie May’s, 23:00–04:00, £10

Maggie May’s resident DJ Paddy brings in the bells at Maggie Mays with a mix of rock and indie classics, old and new.

Great Bells of Fire Slouch, 23:00–04:00, £tbc

DJ Jopez mans the decks at Slouch, bringing in 2013 with a fine mix of indie, rock’n’roll, punk and blues.

SLEAZY’S NYE Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 23:00–04:00, £5

Sleazy’s host their annual uproarious New Year’s party, with Wrong Island and Wild Combination going head-to-head downstairs, and Baby Diego and pals manning the upstairs space.

Hogmanay in Stereo (Clocked Out, Aggi Doom, The Yawns, World Peace) Stereo, 22:00–04:00, £6 earlybird (£8 thereafter)

Stereo celebrate Hogmanay in suitably cool style with Croc Vs Croc and pals at the helm, hosting a madcap ceilidh extravaganza, alongside live sets from Clocked Out, Aggi Doom, The Yawns and World Peace, plus guest DJs spinning records in the bar.

New Year’s Eve with Chicane O2 Academy, 21:00–03:00, £25

British composer, songwriter and record producer, Chicane (aka Nicholas Bracegirdle to his mammy) headlines the NYE proceedings over at Glasgow’s O2 Academy, with Marcel Woods on support.

Horse Meat Disco NYE! The Berkeley Suite, 22:00–04:00, £15 adv. (£20 door)

Mighty London disco quartet Horse Meat Disco take control of the decks at Berkeley Suite’s NYE special, joined by resident DJs – including yer man Billy Woods – on reliable support duties.

Hogmanay at The Garage (Andy Robertson, DJ Muppet) The Garage, 23:00–03:00, £8 (£6)

Favourited Garage DJs Andy R and DJ Muppet bring in the New Year with an eclectic selection of alternative rock, hardcore and punk, with free champers for the first 100 folk.

XY (Nadastrom) The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5)

Anthology of house, electro and D’n’B for your aural delectation, with Nadastrom guesting for the evening – keeping it sizzling up-to-date with the latest underground tracks, as per.

Shake Yer Shoulders: Invasion of the Jungle Soldiers Henry’s Cellar, 23:00–03:00, £5

The favourited celebration of all things techno goes decidedly jungle for the evening.

Xplicit (Spectrasoul) The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £8 adv. (£10 door)

Rendez-vous (Crazy P) Castle Club, 23:00–03:00, £10 (£8)

The Rendez-vous residents play host to a live set from raggle-taggle live disco bunch Crazy P.

Sun 09 Dec Coalition Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

Dubstep, breaks and bassline house from AF Meldrum and a cast of Edinburgh’s best underground DJs.

The Sunday Club The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

Mixed Up

Tease Age

Request-driven night of pop-punk, chart, indie and good ol’ 90s classics.

Citrus Club, 22:30–03:00, Free (£5 after 11)

Long-running indie, rock and soul night.

The Egg Wee Red Bar, 23:00–03:00, £3 (£4 after 12)

Art School institution with DJs Chris and Paul playing the finest in indie, garage, soul and punk.

Bass Syndicate Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, £3 (members free)

The regular Edinburgh breaks and bassline Manga crew takeover.

I AM Edinburgh

No Globe: 1st Birthday (DJ Astroboy, Guava Beats, Fruit Pistols)

Retro pop stylings from the 50s to the 70s, with this edition mildly Christmas tinged, as is the law.

Sat 08 Dec

Party soundtrack of funk, soul, disco and house with Trendy Wendy, Steve Austin and guests.

Resident young guns Beta & Kappa make their now regular trip east, playing the usual fine mix of electronica and bass.

Electric Circus, 22:30–03:00, £3 (£4 after 12)

Two rooms of all the chart, cheese and indie-pop you can think of.

Mumbo Jumbo

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

Beep Beep, Yeah!: Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree

Heavy jungle and bass-styled beats from the inimitable Xplicit crew, with Brighton DJ duo Spectrasoul their special guests for the evening.

The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

Chart, dance and electro fare, plus punter requests all night long.

O2 ABC’s favourited weekend club nights, Love Music and Propaganda, go head-to-head for an NYE special, as is tradition.

Wee Red Bar, 22:30–03:00, £5 (£3)

The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5)

Bubblegum The Hive, 21:00–03:00, Free (£4 after 10)

Handpicked weekend mix of chart and dance, with retro 80s classics as standard.

Mon 10 Dec The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

Nu Fire Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

Moving from hip-hop to dubstep with a plethora of live MCs.

Tue 11 Dec Antics The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

Alternative anthems cherrypicked from genres of rock, indie and punk.

Soul Jam Hot Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

Fresh mix of funk, soul, disco and hippity-hop from the Soul Jam Hot DJs.

Hector’s House The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–03:00, £6 (£5)

Electronic basslines allied with homecooked house beats.

Saint Etienne The Liquid Room, 19:00–22:30, £18.50

The 1990-formed English synthpopsters return on the back of their first album in seven years.

The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £3 (£5 after 12)

No Globe round off their first year in style with a selection of pals and favourites, amongst them DJ Astroboy, Guava Beats and Fruit Pistols. Free mix CDs for the first 50 through the door.

Juice Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

All-new Thursday nighter for Sneaky’s, playing a mighty mix of everything from The Stooges to ODB.

Fri 07 Dec Misfits The Hive, 21:00–03:00, Free (£4 after 10)

Chart, electro, indie-pop and alternative anthems over two rooms.

Planet Earth Citrus Club, 22:30–03:00, £1 (£6 after 11)

Distinctly retro selection from 1960 to 1999, moving from Abba to ZZ Top.

This Is Music Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, £3 (members free)

Indie and electro from the Sick Note DJs.

Cream Soda Electric Circus, 22:30–03:00, £3 (£4 after 12)

American Prom-styled fun night celebrating all that is great about pop, new and old.

Oh No! HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £3

Friday night student party with the emphasis on Skittlebombs... Don’t ask.

Sic The Liquid Room, 22:30–03:00, £5

Friday night party featuring big guests from the underground dance music scene.

Citadel Castle Club, 21:00–03:00, Free

Weekly deep house and bass vibes from a rotating schedule of residents.

The Unseen Masquerade (Gavin Richardson) Studio 24, 22:30–03:00, £7 (£5 in a mask)

Stripped-down techno with a backto-basics warehouse style, with the Unseen residents this time insisting y’all mask up. Substance resident Gavin Richardson provides the score.

Propaganda HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £4

Wed 12 Dec

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

Bangers & Mash

Torture Garden

Midweek student rundown of chart and cheese classics.

The Caves, 22:00–03:00, £18 adv.

Infamous fetish club spread over three dungeon-themed playrooms in the glorious cavernous surrounds of The Caves.

Fantasy dress code, i.e. everything from circus freakshow to Venice carnival.

And PVC, loadsae PVC.

The Musika Christmas Party (Dan Howells, Lee Burridge) The Liquid Room, 21:00–03:00, £14 adv. (£16 door)

Musika host their Christmas blow-out, welcoming two firm favourites of the global dance scene – Danny Howells and Lee Burridge. Pre-club party at Assembly Bar from 8.30pm.

The Too Much Fun Club: Festive Special

The Hive, 22:00–03:00, £1 (£3 after 11)

Indigo The Liquid Room, 22:30–03:00, £3 (£1)

Indie, pop and alternative favourites with a danceable beat, from LCD Soundsystem to The Ting Tings.

Witness Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

Sneaky’s resident bass spectacular of garage, dubstep and bassline house.

I Love Hip Hop The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £1

Selection of hip-hop classics and brand-new classics to be.

East Beat Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £1.99 (£2.99 after 12)

Studio 24, 22:30–03:00, £tbc

The folk behind Balkanarama present a brand new Balkan, klezmer, gypsy and all things eastern club night.

Think Twice (The True Rebels, 78 Edits)

Frisky

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5)

Chart, dance and electro fare, plus punter requests all night long.

The Edinburgh art collective present a festive-themed night of hip-hop and live art games, as is their merry way.

Resident Craig Smith is joined by a double act of guests – The True Rebels and 78 Edits – for a mighty December blowout.

Thu 13 Dec The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

LISTINGS I AM Edinburgh The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£3)

Resident young guns Beta & Kappa make their now regular trip east, playing the usual fine mix of electronica and bass.

Lulu’s Christmas Wrap Party Lulu, 20:00–03:00, £20

Opulent festive club night with entry including cocktails, canapes and a live set from Edinburgh-based acoustic ensemble Scarlet.

Juice Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

All-new Thursday nighter for Sneaky’s, playing a mighty mix of everything from The Stooges to ODB.

ETC: Dex on the Beach (Audacious) Wee Red Bar, 23:00–03:00, £7 (£5 in fancy dress)

Edinburgh Tekno Cartel provide the sleazy bass and techno beats, this month bringing a bit o’ sunshine to the dark winter nights with a beach party special – because, well, that’s just how they roll. Dress code: Speedo’s and suntans.

Art School Xmas Party Edinburgh College of Art, 22:00–03:00, £10 adv. (£12 door)

Annual fundraiser night showcasing the best of Edinburgh’s talent all under one roof, with live sets from local DJs

Sun 16 Dec Coalition Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

Dubstep, breaks and bassline house from AF Meldrum and a cast of Edinburgh’s best underground DJs.

The Sunday Club The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

Two rooms of all the chart, cheese and indie-pop you can think of.

Mon 17 Dec Mixed Up The Hive, 22:00–03:00, Free

The Hive, 22:00–05:00, Free

Alternative anthems cherrypicked from genres of rock, indie and punk.

Soul Jam Hot Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Fresh mix of funk, soul, disco and hippity-hop from the Soul Jam Hot DJs.

I Love Hip Hop The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, Free

Selection of hip-hop classics and brand-new classics to be.

Hector’s House

The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £3 (£5 after 12)

Soulful dancing fodder, from deep funk to reggae beats with your regular DJ hosts Simon Hodge, Johnny Cashback, Astroboy and Wee-G.

Planet Earth Citrus Club, 22:30–03:00, £1 (£6 after 11)

Distinctly retro selection from 1960 to 1999, moving from Abba to ZZ Top.

This Is Music Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, £3 (members free)

Indie and electro from the Sick Note DJs.

Betamax Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, Free (£5/£4 student after 11.30)

Tease Age

Thu 20 Dec

Henry’s Cellar, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£5 after 12)

Wee Red Bar, 23:00–03:00, £3 (£4 after 12)

Art School institution with DJs Chris and Paul playing the finest in indie, garage, soul and punk.

Bubblegum The Hive, 21:00–03:00, Free (£4 after 10)

Handpicked weekend mix of chart and dance, with retro 80s classics as standard.

Studio 24, 22:30–03:00, £2 (£5/£4 student after 11)

Propaganda

Big ‘N’ Bashy Mighty mix of reggae, grime, dubstep and jungle.

Oh No!

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00, £7 (£5)

Gasoline Dance Machine Classic Italo and straight up boogie allied with contemporary house and disco.

Rewind The Liquid Room, 22:30–03:00, £5 (£3)

Anthology of house, electro and D’n’B for your aural delectation.

Journey back through the ages, digging out anthemic gems from the last 40 years.

Sic

Basics Henry’s Cellar, 23:00–03:00, £5

Friday night party featuring big guests from the underground dance music scene.

Retro mix of 50s and 60s R’n’B and northern soul.

Mambo

Studio 24, 22:30–03:00, £2 (£5/£4 student after 11)

Decade

Old school hip-hop, R’n’B, reggae, dancehall, afro beats and plenty more eclecticness besides.

Fresh playlists spanning pop-punk, emo and hardcore soundscapes.

People!

Electric Circus, 22:30–03:00, £6 (£8 after 12)

Weekly deep house and bass vibes from a rotating schedule of residents.

Handpicked weekend mix of chart and dance, with retro 80s classics as standard.

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

American Prom-styled fun night celebrating all that is great about pop, new and old.

Castle Club, 21:00–03:00, Free

The Hive, 21:00–05:00, Free (£4 after 10)

DJs Swank’n’Jams seamlessly mix tropical beats and swing rhythms, mashed up with some well-kent classics.

The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £4 (£6 after 12)

Citadel

Bubblegum

The Egg

Long-running indie, rock and soul night.

Cream Soda

New night of rare funk and Afro sounds, ripe for dancing feet.

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Sneaky’s resident bass spectacular of garage, dubstep and bassline house.

Long-running indie, rock and soul night.

Zoot

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

The Third Door, 23:00–03:00, £3

Base Nightclub, 21:00–05:00, £3 adv.

Citrus Club, 22:30–03:00, Free (£5 after 11)

Monthly club bringing the spirit of the psychedelic trance dance ritual to the floor.

Henry’s Cellar, 23:00–03:00, £5 (£4)

Electric Circus, 22:30–03:00, £8

Festive edition of the American Promstyled fun night celebrating all that is great about pop music and Christmas.

Citrus Club, 22:30–05:00, Free (£5 after 11)

HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £4

The Liquid Room, 22:30–03:00, £5

Christmas Soda

The Liquid Room, 22:30–05:00, £3 (£1)

Sat 15 Dec

Pop ‘Christmas’ Rocks!

Festive edition of the pop and rock night, taking in motown, 80s classics, plenty danceable fare and a smattering of classic Christmas tunes from years gone by, naturally.

Wasabi Disco Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, £3 (members free)

Heady bout of cosmic house, punk and upside-down disco with yer man Kris ‘Wasabi’ Walker.

Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £1.99 (£2.99 after 12)

Propaganda HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £4

Dr No’s

The Hive, 22:00–05:00, Free

Danceable mix of the best in 60s ska, rocksteady, bluebeat and reggae.

I AM Edinburgh

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free (£3 after 12)

Frisky Chart, dance and electro fare, plus punter requests all night long.

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00, £4 (£3)

Resident young guns Beta & Kappa make their now regular trip east, playing the usual fine mix of electronica and bass.

Electric Circus, 22:30–03:00, £8

Hodgepodge of quality tracks chosen

by JP’s spinning wheel, making some special Christmas selections in honour of the season of joy.

Classics (Tommy Kay, Fisher & Price, Alan Dobson) The Liquid Room, 22:30–05:00, £tbc

Sic

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Definition Mark Balneaves and Martin Lightbody play some of the finest underground underground house and techno.

The Hive, 22:00–05:00, Free

Castle Club, 21:00–03:00, Free

Henry’s Cellar, 23:00–03:00, £5

Tue 25 Dec Antics The Hive, 22:00–05:00, Free

Dub, reggae and dancehall clubbing spectacular, with Brixton’s Daddy Fridge special guesting.

Cream Soda: New Year’s Warm Up Electric Circus, 22:30–03:00, £3 (£4 after 12)

Alternative anthems cherrypicked from genres of rock, indie and punk.

The American Prom-styled fun night start the NYE warm-up, celebrating all that is great about pop, new and old.

Wed 26 Dec

Sat 29 Dec

Bangers & Mash The Hive, 22:00–05:00, £1 (£3 after 11)

Midweek student rundown of chart and cheese classics.

Witness Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Sneaky’s resident bass spectacular of garage, dubstep and bassline house.

Tease Age Citrus Club, 22:30–05:00, Free (£5 after 11)

Long-running indie, rock and soul night.

Bubblegum The Hive, 21:00–05:00, Free (£4 after 10)

Madchester: Boxing Day Special (Clint Boon)

Handpicked weekend mix of chart and dance, with retro 80s classics as standard.

The Liquid Room, 22:30–05:00, £tbc

Ride

Madchester host their annual Boxing Day bash, fit to bursting with indie classics and baggy greats, from Primal Scream and the like.

East Beat Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £1.99 (£2.99 after 12)

The folk behind Balkanarama present a brand new Balkan, klezmer, gypsy and all things eastern club night.

Thu 27 Dec Frisky The Hive, 22:00–05:00, Free

Chart, dance and electro fare, plus punter requests all night long.

I AM Edinburgh The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00,

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Ride girls Checkie and Lauren play hiphop and dance, all night long.

Propaganda HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £4

Student-orientated indie night with guest DJs dropping by.

Pocket Aces The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00, £7 (£5)

Dance-inducing party with an anything goes attitude and rotating rota of guest DJs.

Messenger The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £6 (£7 after 12)

More sweet reggae rockin’ from the original sound system.

Lucky 7 Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £2 (£5/£4 student after 11.30)

Ska, 2-Tone and early reggae from the Lucky 7 regulars.

Studio 24 Rawks Goes Metal Studio 24, 22:30–03:00, £2 (£5/£4 student after 11.30)

The regular alternative rock night takes a foray into all things heavy and metal for their usual last Saturday of the month blow-out.

Jackhammer: 11th Birthday (Ben Sims, Jeff Mills, Slam) The Liquid Room, 21:00–05:00, £15

The techno specialists celebrate their 11th birthday with a hefty line-up which sees headline sets from Ben Sims, Jeff Mills, and Slam, playing over a sprawling eight hours. Crawl home we will.

The Hive, 21:00–05:00, Free (£4 after 10)

Chart, electro, indie-pop and alternative anthems over two rooms.

Electric Circus Pop Tarts: Not Quite Hogmanay Party

Planet Earth Citrus Club, 22:30–05:00, £1 (£6 after 11)

Electric Circus, 21:00–03:00, £5

Distinctly retro selection from 1960 to 1999, moving from Abba to ZZ Top.

This Is Music Shake Yer Shoulders The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, Free

Celebration of all things techno with the Shake Yer Shoulders residents.

Bordello

£4 (£3)

Resident young guns Beta & Kappa make their now regular trip east, playing the usual fine mix of electronica and bass.

Juice Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Studio 24, 22:30–03:00, £2 (£5/£4 student after 11.30)

All-new Thursday nighter for Sneaky’s, playing a mighty mix of everything from The Stooges to ODB.

Pocket Aces

Fri 28 Dec

Sleazy-styled classic rock, all night long.

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00, £7 (£5)

Dance-inducing party with an anything goes attitude and rotating rota of guest DJs.

Misfits The Hive, 21:00–05:00, Free (£4 after 10)

Chart, electro, indie-pop and alternative anthems over two rooms.

Sound of C (Rudimental) The Liquid Room, 22:30–05:00, £12 (£9)

Sound of C warm up for New Year with a string of guest DJs, headlined by man of the moment Rudimental.

hogmanay Mon 31 Dec Vegas’ annual 50s-themed Hogmanay fun night, with special guests Cow Cow Boogie, Missy Malone and The Vegas Cabaret & Burlesque Revue. Plus showgirls a-go-go, natch.

Mixed Up The Hive, 22:00–05:00, Free

Tron Kirk, 22:00–03:00, £10 adv.

One half of the 6th Borough Project, Craig Smith, holds fort in the historic Tron Kirk for a special after-party for Edinburgh’s annual Torchlight Procession.

Vegas!: The Grand Hogmanay Ball

Robigans Reggae (Daddy Fringe)

Request-driven night of pop-punk, chart, indie and good ol’ 90s classics.

The Extraordinary Drambuie Gatherings: The Post Procession Party (Craig Smith)

The Liquid Room, 22:30–05:00, £5

Mon 24 Dec

Misfits

Swinging soul spanning a whole century with DJs Tsatsu and Fryer, plus live dancers a-go-go.

Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £5

Weekly deep house and bass vibes from a rotating schedule of residents.

Fri 21 Dec

The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £5

Sesame Street

Two rooms of all the chart, cheese and indie-pop you can think of.

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Soulsville

HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £3

Sun 23 Dec

All-new Thursday nighter for Sneaky’s, playing a mighty mix of everything from The Stooges to ODB.

Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £4

Oh No!

Coalition

Juice

The Animal Hospital troops continue to medicate Edinburgh with their unique blend of techno, house and minimal.

The Numbers crew stage their monthly Sneaky Pete’s takeover, special guests being kept under wraps for now.

Alphabetical playlists of the mostly funk, hip-hop and disco variety.

Opal Lounge, 20:00–03:00, £20

Animal Hospital

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, £5 (members free)

Friday night student party with the emphasis on Skittlebombs... Don’t ask.

Opulent festive club night with entry including cocktails, canapes and a live set from Edinburgh-based groovers Corra.

Indie and electro from the Sick Note DJs.

Numbers

The Liquid Room bring back a selection of DJs from some classic Edinburgh party nights, including Tommy Kay, Fisher & Price and Alan Dobson.

Opal Lounge’s Winter Wonderland

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, £3 (members free)

Distinctly retro selection from 1960 to 1999, moving from Abba to ZZ Top.

Citadel

Wed 19 Dec

Witness

Magic ‘Christmas’ Nostalgic

The Sunday Club

Leith Cricket Club, 21:00–03:00, £3

The unique party night returns for a special Christmas (sorry, ‘Qristmas’) party, featuring live sets from The Tide Inside, White Lightnin’ and Opul, plus Ray Gun and Tall Paul on decks.

Edinburgh-based collective Terror get in on the Christmas party action once more, hosting live sets from the likes of Scottish hardcore don Al Twisted and bringers of chaos Noizy az Fuck.

Indie, pop and alternative favourites with a danceable beat, from LCD Soundsystem to The Ting Tings.

Citrus Club, 22:30–05:00, £1 (£6 after 11)

Qabalala! Qristmas Party

Tease Age

The Annexe, 22:30–03:00, £4

Studio 24, 22:30–03:00, £tbc

Jungle, jungle and, er, more jungle with residents Switch, Jamin and Tekkerz.

Friday night party featuring big guests from the underground dance music scene.

Indigo

The JakN crew provide the usual threedeck mix up of techno in all its forms, with local guest MUZZ and resident team Sekonz and F-N.

Planet Earth

Dubstep, breaks and bassline house from AF Meldrum and a cast of Edinburgh’s best underground DJs.

Castle Club, 21:00–03:00, Free

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00, £6 (£5)

The Hive, 22:00–05:00, £1 (£3 after 11)

Defcon

Weekly deep house and bass vibes from a rotating schedule of residents.

JakN (Muzz)

Studio 24, 21:00–03:00, £3 (£6 after 11)

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00, £7 (£5)

Citadel

Sat 22 Dec

Surf, blues and rockabilly from the 50s and early 60s, plus free cake! Nuff said.

XY

The Liquid Room, 22:30–05:00, £5

Midweek student rundown of chart and cheese classics.

Cosmic (Electrypnose, Psyubik, Electrypnose, Macaque)

HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £3

Anthology of house, electro and D’n’B for your aural delectation.

Bangers & Mash

The Green Door

Friday night student party with the emphasis on Skittlebombs... Don’t ask.

The Cabaret Voltaire, 23:00–05:00, £7 (£5)

NoFace and Zzzap, and a selection of work from upcoming ECA graduates – including a giant mural and a video installation.

Monthly offering of new wave, disco, post-punk and a bit o’ synthtastic 80s with your hosts Chris and Big Gus.

Electric Circus, 22:30–03:00, £8

XY

Terror’s 3rd Festive Bash!

(Al Twisted, Noizy Az Fuck, Autonome, Richie Ruftone)

Electronic basslines allied with homecooked house beats.

Four Corners

HMV Picture House, 23:00–03:00, £3

Friday night student party with the emphasis on Skittlebombs... Don’t ask.

Nu Fire

Antics

The Hive, 21:00–03:00, Free (£4 after 10)

Oh No!

Friday night party featuring big guests from the underground dance music scene.

Tue 18 Dec

Chart, electro, indie-pop and alternative anthems over two rooms.

Blues and soul from the 50s and 60s, handpicked by Tony ‘Two-Eyes’ and The Go-Go DJs.

Sic

Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–03:00, Free

Misfits

Studio 24, 23:00–03:00, £2 (£5/£4 student after 11.30)

Request-driven night of pop-punk, chart, indie and good ol’ 90s classics.

Moving from hip-hop to dubstep with a plethora of live MCs.

Fri 14 Dec

Land of a Thousand Dances

Myriad Electric Circus club nights – including Pop Rocks and Magic Nostalgic – unite for one massive New Year’s warm up.

Sun 30 Dec Coalition Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

Dubstep, breaks and bassline house from AF Meldrum and a cast of Edinburgh’s best underground DJs.

Xplicit The Bongo Club, 23:00–03:00, £tbc

Heavy jungle and bass-styled beats from the inimitable Xplicit crew, as they do their best to warm y’all up for New Year.

The Sunday Club The Hive, 22:00–05:00, Free

Two rooms of all the chart, cheese and indie-pop you can think of.

The Voodoo Rooms, 21:00–03:00, £25

Hogmanay Balkanarama (Gypsy Hill, Smash Kafana, DJ Kobayashi) Studio 24, 23:00–05:00, £15 adv. (£18 door)

The all-singing, all-dancing Balkan orgy host a special NYE edition; a joyously crazy mix of live bands, surprise guests, belly dancing, puppet shows, bespoke visuals and free plum brandy for all.

Wee Dub Hogmanay (Radikal Guru, Riddim Tuffa) The Caves, 22:00–05:00, £18 adv.

The rather ace dub, reggae and roots celebration makes its mark on NYE with the heavyweight international line-up of Radikal Guru and Riddim Tuffa, and more, blasted out via two quality soundsystems.

Winter Wonderland Snow Party The Hive, 21:00–05:00, £10 adv.

The Hive see out 2012 with a winter wonderland-themed party, with two rooms playing the finest in electro, indie and requests, plus a snow confetti explosion on the strike of midnight, obviously.

Musika Hogmanay (Joris Voorn, Derrick Carter, Darius Syrossian)

Bongo Club Hogmanay: Final Party at Holyrood Road The Bongo Club, 23:00–05:00, £10

Live DJ rambash featuring guests from favourited Bongo nights Four Corners, Headspin, Mumbo Jumbo, Soulsville, and more, in what will be The Bongo’s final swansong at their Holyrood Road location before their hopeful relocation in early 2013.

Nu Fire Nu Year Sneaky Pete’s, 23:00–05:00, Free

The Nu Fire crew man the decks at Sneaky’s Hogmanay celebrations, playing a selection of the club’s favourite hits of the year.

Castle Club NYE All-Star Party Castle Club, 23:00–05:00, From £10 adv.

The newly-opened Castle Club get in on the Hogmanay action with a secret guest allied with an all-star cast of residents from the four staple nights, followed by a secret after-party taking you from 6am to 1pm the next day. Ouch.

Summerhall Hogmanay Party (Loveboat, The Badwills, DJ Lindsay Todd, DJ Joseph Malik) Summerhall, 21:00–03:00, £20

Summerhall’s NYE offering snakes across four of the venue’s unique spaces, with DJs and bands in the Dissection Room, film screenings in the Red Lecture Theatre, live theatrics in the Anatomy Lecture Theatre and a chill area in the Summerhall Cafe. Amen.

The Liquid Room, 22:00–05:00, £22.50

Following tradition, Musika provide the afterhours New Year’s Eve entertainment with a line-up of some of house music’s finest – including Joris Voorn, Derrick Carter and Darius Syrossian – taking over The Liquid Room and adjoining Annexe space.

NYE Gasoline Dance Machine (Isaac Tichauer) The Cabaret Voltaire, 22:00–05:00, £10

French Express crew member Isaac Tichauer guests at GDM’s Hogmanay bash, with a selection of local legends – including Nasty P – filling up the other rooms.

Dr No’s Hogmanay Henry’s Cellar, 23:00–05:00, £8 adv. (£10 door)

Dr No’s are entrusted with the Hogmanay reins down’t Henry’s, bringing the 60s ska, rocksteady and early reggae tuneage, as per.

Magic Nostalgic: NYE 2013 Electric Circus, 21:00–05:00, £10 adv.

New Year’s edition of the hotch-potch clubber’s delight, with all tracks chosen by a spinning wheel – for which there’ll be a special category introduced especially for the night, chosen by you lot. Last year it was an RIP one (i.e. songs o’ the deid).

Volume’s Hogmanay Masquerade Ball The Newsroom, 22:00–03:00, £5 adv.

Back from retirement, the Volume team welcome 2013 with a selection of their favourite DJs – amongst ‘em Termite, Fault Lines, DFRNT and Kidill – taking to the new 511 space, just below The Newsroom.

The Extraordinary Drambuie Gatherings: The Most Extraordinary Hogmanay Party (Heavy Gossip, Ultragroove) Tron Kirk, 22:00–03:00, £10 adv.

Heavy Gossip and Ultragroove man the decks of Edinburgh’s historic Tron Kirk in honour of the coming of 2013, a special spot being that it is the place where Edinburgh’s world-famous Hogmanay started.

Citrus Club Hogmanay Citrus Club, 22:00–05:00, £10 adv. (£15 door)

The Cirtus Club round off their 21st birthday celebrations – and welcome the coming of 2013 – with a live set from The Caravan Club, alongside Citrus Club DJs playing into the wee hours.

December 2012

THE SKINNY 67

LISTINGS

theatre

DUNDEE clubs

Citizens Theatre

Anatomy #3: Pantomime for the End of Time

Sleeping Beauty

14 Dec, 7:30pm – 11:00pm, £6

various dates between 1 Dec and 6 Jan, times vary, From £13

Wed 05 Dec

Sat 22 Dec

Friendzy

Locarno

Fat Sam’s, 22:30–03:00, £3.50

Reading Rooms, 22:00–02:30, £5 (£7 after 12)

Messy student midweeker of party tunes and jelly shots.

Rockabilly, doo-wop, soul and all things golden age and danceable with the Locarno regulars.

Fri 07 Dec

Fat Sam’s Saturday Nights

Miss Dlove

Fat Sam’s, 21:00–03:00, £8

Reading Rooms, 22:30–02:30, £5

Massive Saturday night party spreading its wares over three floors and no less than six rooms.

The rude girl Reading Room’s resident spins a selection of Afrobeat, hip-hop, reggae, Latin, funk and dancehall.

Asylum

Fat Sam’s Fridays

Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

Fat Sam’s, 20:00–03:00, £3.50

Party-styled Friday nighter. Beware the six quid fishbowls.

Best of selection of rock, metal and alternative.

Warped

Wed 26 Dec

Kage, 23:00–02:30, £tbc

Ska, screamo and pop-punk offerings, featuring additional live performances from a selection of choice noisemakers.

Sat 08 Dec

CTRL ALT DFT: Boxing Day Reading Rooms, 22:30–02:30, £tbc

Electro musings with a danceable beat for your Boxing Day pleasure, with Clouds and Ado sharing deck duty.

Friendzy

Dare Does Dundee

Fat Sam’s, 22:30–03:00, £3.50

Reading Rooms, 22:30–02:30, £8 adv.

Messy student midweeker of party tunes and jelly shots.

John Pleased Wimmin brings his night of eclectic electronic and disco-tinged delights Dundee-way.

Thu 27 Dec

Fat Sam’s Saturday Nights Fat Sam’s, 21:00–03:00, £8

Massive Saturday night party spreading its wares over three floors and no less than six rooms.

Roots: Crimbo With Jimbo (James Bradley) Reading Rooms, 22:30–02:30, £12 adv.

Best of selection of rock, metal and alternative.

The Roots crew dig deep into their record boxes, dusting off a selection of house classics from the late 80s and early 90s, with Rhumba legend James Bradley their guest for the evening.

Wed 12 Dec

Fri 28 Dec

Asylum Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

Bleep

Friendzy

Reading Rooms, 22:30–02:30, £5 (£7 after 11.30)

Fat Sam’s, 22:30–03:00, £3.50

Messy student midweeker of party tunes and jelly shots.

Ear-bleeding electronic beats ‘n’ bleeps with Blanc Expression, Dave Stewart and Teddy Hannan.

Fri 14 Dec

Fat Sam’s Fridays

Fat Sam’s Fridays

Fat Sam’s, 20:00–03:00, £3.50

Fat Sam’s, 20:00–03:00, £3.50

Party-styled Friday nighter. Beware the six quid fishbowls.

Party-styled Friday nighter. Beware the six quid fishbowls.

Zazou

New Noise

Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

Forgotten classics from the seediest and most decadent dancefloors of the 70s, 80s and beyond.

Alternative mixtape night taking in rock, punk, screamo, electro and hippity-hop.

Sat 29 Dec

Crayon The Art Bar, 20:30–03:00, £tbc

The Crayon DJs spin an anything-goes mix of tracks, playing everything from gospel to dub.

Spektrum

Sat 15 Dec

Fat Sam’s Saturday Nights

Reading Rooms, 22:30–03:30, £12 adv.

Showcase night for electronic DJs and producers from across the globe.

Fat Sam’s, 21:00–03:00, £8

Book Club

Massive Saturday night party spreading its wares over three floors and no less than six rooms.

Reading Rooms, 22:30–02:30, £tbc

Is Kill and Diabetic spin all genres of electro, disco, techno... and anything else they damn well fancy.

Asylum Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

Fat Sam’s Saturday Nights Fat Sam’s, 21:00–03:00, £8

Massive Saturday night party spreading its wares over three floors and no less than six rooms.

Asylum

Best of selection of rock, metal and alternative.

hogmanay Mon 31 Dec

Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

Best of selection of rock, metal and alternative.

Headway Vs Autodisco Hogmanay (Derrick Carter)

Kerrang! Klub: Kage 5th Birthday Special

Reading Rooms, 21:30–03:30, £15 adv.

Reading Rooms pull out all the stops for Hogmanay, with regular nights Headway and Autodisco joining forces to welcome Chicago house legend Derrick Carter to their lair. This’ll be a biggie.

Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

DJ Alex Barker offa Kerrang! Radio helps Kage host a 5th birthday special, playing the best in all things rock and metal – with prize giveaways and cake in honour of the occasion.

Kage: We Survived 2012!

Kage, 23:00–02:30, £5

Wed 19 Dec

The hard-rockin’ club celebrates, well, just basically having made it through the bloody year alive, with their annual legendary end of year rock and metalstyed bash.

The View: Official Aftershow Party Reading Rooms, 22:30–02:30, £tbc

The Dundee inde-pop scamps tail their Caird Hall set with an official postparty at Reading Rooms, at which The View’s Kyle and Kieren will be manning the decks.

Mashed Up Nights: NYE Soul Club, 20:00–02:30, £7

A selection of Tayside artists come together for a sprawling NYE celebration, featuring sets from Fubu, Derek McCusker, Garry Mulholland, Barry Miller, Craig Anderson, Pip, Jamie Slade and Jamie Petrie. That do you?

Friendzy Fat Sam’s, 22:30–03:00, £3.50

Messy student midweeker of party tunes and jelly shots.

Festive pantomime reworking of the classic fairytale, in which Sleeping Beauty falls into a deep sleep under the watchful eye of the flatulent Fairy Good. Matinee performances also available.

Cottiers Theatre Weans in the Woods 5–31 Dec, not 10, 25, times vary, From £10

Original panto offering, telling the tale of the orphan weans who take shelter with their sweet Uncle Jim and wicked Auntie Brenda, near the ‘Right Creepy Woods’.

Oran Mor A Play, A Pie And A Pint 27 Nov – 22 Dec, not 1 Dec, 2 Dec, 9 Dec, 16 Dec, times vary, From £8

Afternoon session showcasing new work from a selection of talented playwrights, with this month going panto (who ain’t) with Aladdin and Wee Jeannie. Plus a pie and a pint, naturally. See oran-mor.co.uk for schedule details.

Paisley Arts Centre Jack and the Beanstalk various dates between 27 Nov and 31 Dec, times vary, From £14.50 (£11.50)

PACE Theatre Company return with their annual panto, with this year marking their 25th anniversary production – for which they’ve chosen classic English folk story Jack and the Beanstalk.

Matinee performances also available.

The Flying Duck The End 21–22 Dec, 11:00pm – 3:00am, £5 (£3)

Michael Stuart and the Super Inuit DJs celebrate the coming of the end of the world.

The King’s Theatre Cinderella various dates between 30 Nov and 6 Jan, times vary, From £9

The King’s annual panto fun, with Karen Dunbar returning for her fifth run as Fairy Godmother. Matinee performances also available.

Theatre Royal Scottish Ballet: The Nutcracker various dates between 8 Dec and 29 Dec, times vary, From £7

Scottish Ballet’s retelling of Tchaikovsky’s dance classic, ripe for the festive season with its dreamlike narrative and magical journey of discovery.

Tron Theatre Aganeza Scrooge various dates between 30 Nov and 5 Jan, 7:30pm – 10:00pm, From £7

An all-female spin on Charles Dickens’ classic tale, A Christmas Carol, as the Tron present their annual better-thanmost panto offering.

EDINBURGH Edinburgh Playhouse Dirty Dancing various dates between 4 Dec and 12 Jan, times vary, From £17.50

The cult 80s film revamped for the stage and on the road for its first national tour; cue Baby and Johnny, sexy dancing and hungry eyes.

Festival Theatre Edinburgh Soul Sister 3–8 Dec, times vary, From £13.50

Touring West End musical inspired by the life and times of Ike and Tina Turner, following the highs and lows of their careers and personal lives.

King’s Theatre Mother Goose various dates between 1 Dec and 20 Jan, times vary, From £10

Fri 21 Dec

Seasonal panto fare at the King’s, offering the annual opportunity to boo the hell outta Grant Stott. Matinee performances also available.

Fat Sam’s Fridays Fat Sam’s, 20:00–03:00, £3.50

Party-styled Friday nighter. Beware the six quid fishbowls.

Gorilla In Your Car Kage, 23:00–02:30, £4

Hardcore, emo, punk and scenester selections. Also perhaps the best-named club night in Dundee’s existence.

Lockdown

Royal Lyceum Theatre Cinderella various dates between 29 Nov and 29 Dec, times vary, From £18

Festive re-imagining of the classic fairytale, where Cinders is relocated to modern-day Paris where she lives with her father and longs for the love of a rather unique Prince.

Beat Generator Live!, 23:00–03:00, Free (£4 after 12)

Metal, rock and alternative playlists all night long.

68 THE SKINNY

glasgow

December 2012

Summerhall Contemporary take on the music hall variety show, featuring risk-taking performance and breath-taking theatrics – amongst ‘em dancers, musicmakers, sculptors, clowns and poets.

The End of the World 21 Dec, 9:00pm – 11:00pm, £15.50 (£11.50/£6 unemployed)

One-off, site-specific music and theatre piece about the predicted apocalypse, featuring new work by Gareth Williams, John Harris, Oliver Emanuel, Hanna Tuulikki, Colin Broom and Ludwig van Beethoven. Limited to 100 folk.

The Voodoo Rooms Missy Malone & Friends Burlesque Revue: Christmas Special 8 Dec, 7:30pm – 10:00pm, £20

Burlesque beaut Missy Malone curates her special Christmas-themed burlesque spectacular, joined by Beau Rocks, Leyla Rose, Sherry Trifle and Desmond O’Connor.

Traverse Theatre The Arthur Conan Doyle Appreciation Society 4–22 Dec, not 9, 10, 16, 17, times vary, From £15.50 (£11.50/£6 unemployed)

Shunning the panto (amen for that), the Traverse instead bring one of Edinburgh’s best loved figures back to life for a seasonal celebration.

dundee Dundee Rep The Snow Queen various dates between 4 Dec and 5 Jan, times vary, From £13 (£7)

Festive adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s classic fairytale – December wouldn’t be the same without one, after all.

glasgow Tue 04 Dec Red Raw The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £2

Open-mic style beginners showcase, plus some old hands dropping by to roadtest new material.

Wed 05 Dec Wicked Wenches (Janey Godley, Wendy Wason, Tania Edwards, Sarah Short) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£3 members)

All-female stand-up, with a suitably varied mix of headliners and newcomers.

New Material Night Vespbar, 20:00–22:30, £3

Resident host Julia Sutherland introduces a variety of stand-up comedians from the Scottish circuit delivering, yes, all new material.

Thu 06 Dec The Thursday Show (David Hadingham, Janey Godley, Frederik Andersson, Martin Bearne) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £8 (£7/£4 members)

Handpicked selection of headline acts and newcomers over a two-hour showcase.

Fri 07 Dec The Friday Show (David Hadingham, Janey Godley, Frederik Andersson, Martin Bearne) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £10 (£9/£5 members)

Prime stand-up from the Scottish and international circuit, hosted by a rotating selection of Stand stalwarts.

Sat 08 Dec The Saturday Show (David Hadingham, Janey Godley, Frederik Andersson, Martin Bearne) The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £15

Packed Saturday bill of stand-up headliners and resident comperes.

Sun 09 Dec Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£1 members)

Chilled Sunday comedy showcase with resident Irish funnyman Michael Redmond.

COMEDY Mon 10 Dec

Thu 20 Dec

The Stand Christmas Special (Tom Stade, David Longley, Mikey Adams)

Watson’s Wind-Up Xmas Cracker

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

Firm comedy favourite Susan Calman hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aided-and-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Tue 11 Dec The Stand Christmas Special (Tom Stade, David Longley, Mikey Adams) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

Firm comedy favourite Susan Calman hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aided-and-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Wed 12 Dec The Stand Christmas Special (Tom Stade, David Longley, Mikey Adams) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

Firm comedy favourite Susan Calman hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aided-and-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

New Material Night Vespbar, 20:00–22:30, £3

Resident host Julia Sutherland introduces a variety of stand-up comedians from the Scottish circuit delivering, yes, all new material.

Thu 13 Dec The Stand Christmas Special (Tom Stade, David Longley, Mikey Adams) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

Firm comedy favourite Susan Calman hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aided-and-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Fri 14 Dec The Stand Christmas Special (Tom Stade, David Longley, Mikey Adams) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £15

Firm comedy favourite Susan Calman hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aided-and-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Sat 15 Dec Transylvanian Nights Blackfriars Basement, 19:45–22:00, £8

Brand new vampire-styled improv comedy show in full period dress, with parlour games and an improvised vampire play spun from a single audience suggestion.

The Stand Christmas Special (Tom Stade, David Longley, Mikey Adams) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £15

Firm comedy favourite Susan Calman hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aided-and-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Sun 16 Dec Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£1 members)

Chilled Sunday comedy showcase with resident Irish funnyman Michael Redmond.

Mon 17 Dec Improv Wars: Christmas Special The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £4 (£2)

Improvised comedy games and sketches in what will be a special festive edition (i.e. Santa will undoubtedly get a mention).

Tue 18 Dec Red Raw The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £2

Open-mic style beginners showcase, plus some old hands dropping by to roadtest new material.

Wed 19 Dec The Fun Junkies The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £5 (£4/£2.50 members)

Diverse offerings from the comedy spectrum, featuring stand-up, variety acts, sketches, musical comedy and, yes, magicians!

New Material Night Vespbar, 20:00–22:30, £3

Resident host Julia Sutherland introduces a variety of stand-up comedians from the Scottish circuit delivering, yes, all new material.

Wed 05 Dec

Fri 14 Dec

Broken Windows Policy The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £4 (£2)

The Stand Christmas Special (James Kirk, Simon Donald, Jo Caulfield)

Thu 06 Dec

Banterous chap Martin Mor hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aidedand-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Fast-paced and anarchic skits and character comedy from The Stand’s resident sketch comedy troupe.

Oran Mor, 19:45–22:00, £15

Transylvanian Nights

The Thursday Show (Louis Ramey, Greg Cook, Gus Lymburn)

Brand new vampire-styled improv comedy show in full period dress, with parlour games and an improvised vampire play spun from a single audience suggestion.

Jonathan Watson and the team take a comical look at the stories that made this year’s headlines.

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £8 (£7/£4 members)

Handpicked selection of headline acts and newcomers over a two-hour showcase.

Fri 21 Dec Watson’s Wind-Up Xmas Cracker

The Outhouse, 20:00–22:00, £7.50

Fri 07 Dec The Friday Show (Gavin Webster, Wendy Watson, Hari Sriskantha) The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £10 (£9/£5 members)

Oran Mor, 19:45–22:00, £15

Prime stand-up from the Scottish and international circuit, hosted by a rotating selection of Stand stalwarts.

The Friday Show (Louis Ramey, Greg Cook, Gus Lymburn)

It’s Festive Funtime

Jonathan Watson and the team take a comical look at the stories that made this year’s headlines.

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £10 (£9/£5 members)

Prime stand-up from the Scottish and international circuit, hosted by a rotating selection of Stand stalwarts.

Sat 08 Dec The Bongo Club, 19:30–22:00, £7

Christmas edition of the comedy quizcum-game show extravaganza, with fun games and prizes galore.

Sat 22 Dec

The Saturday Show (Gavin Webster, Wendy Watson, Hari Sriskantha)

Watson’s Wind-Up Xmas Cracker

Packed Saturday bill of stand-up headliners and resident comperes.

Oran Mor, 19:45–22:00, £15

Jonathan Watson and the team take a comical look at the stories that made this year’s headlines.

The Saturday Show (Louis Ramey, Greg Cook, Gus Lymburn) The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £15

Packed Saturday bill of stand-up headliners and resident comperes.

Sun 23 Dec Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£1 members)

Chilled Sunday comedy showcase with resident Irish funnyman Michael Redmond.

Thu 27 Dec Hogmanay Hootfest! (Jo Caulfield, John Gillick, James Kirk) The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £12 (£10)

The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £15

Sun 09 Dec Daniel Sloss: The Show Brunton Theatre, 20:00–22:00, £14.50 (£10)

The Scottish comic and internationally acclaimed half-man-half-Xbox brings the laughs with his new tour, following its successful run during the 2012 Edinburgh festival.

It’s Festive Funtime

Improvised lunchtime comedy favourite with resident cheeky chappies Stu & Garry.

The Sunday Night Laugh-In The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£1 members)

Keara Murphy hosts a selection of acts taking in sketches, stand-up, mime, musical comedy, poetry, magic, and, well, pretty much anything else they fancy.

Mon 10 Dec City Café, 20:30–22:30, £3 (£2)

The Stand Christmas Special (James Kirk, Simon Donald, Jo Caulfield)

Hogmanay Hootfest! (Jo Caulfield, John Gillick, James Kirk) The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £22.50 (£19/£15 members)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

EDINBURGH

Red Raw The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £2

Open-mic style beginners showcase, plus some old hands dropping by to roadtest new material.

Tue 18 Dec Bright Club The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £5

Belushi’s, 20:00–22:30, Free

Resident host Rick Molland introduces a variety of stand-up comedians and comedy acts.

Wed 19 Dec The Melting Pot The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £5 (£4/£2.50 members)

Comedy sketches picked by the audience and performed by a troupe of actors and musicians.

Thu 20 Dec The Thursday Show (Seymour Mace, Romesh Ranganathan, John Gavin) The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £8 (£7/£4 members)

Tue 11 Dec

Sun 30 Dec

Mon 31 Dec

City Café, 20:30–22:30, £3 (£2)

Keara Murphy hosts a selection of acts taking in sketches, stand-up, mime, musical comedy, poetry, magic, and, well, pretty much anything else they fancy.

The Friday Show (Seymour Mace, Romesh Ranganathan, John Gavin)

The Stand Christmas Special (James Kirk, Simon Donald, Jo Caulfield)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

Mon 17 Dec Fit O’ The Giggles

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £15 (£12)

The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £12 (£10)

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£1 members)

Chilled comedy showcase to cure your Sunday evening back-to-work blues.

Handpicked selection of headline acts and newcomers over a two-hour showcase.

Banterous chap Martin Mor hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aidedand-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Hogmanay Hootfest! (Jo Caulfield, John Gillick, James Kirk)

The Sunday Night Laugh-In

Tuesday Night Comedy Jam

The Stand, 13:30–15:30, Free

Hogmanay Hootfest! (Jo Caulfield, John Gillick, James Kirk)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

The Stand, 13:30–15:30, Free

Improvised lunchtime comedy favourite with resident cheeky chappies Stu & Garry.

Whose Lunch Is It Anyway?

Fit O’ The Giggles

Sat 29 Dec

Sun 16 Dec Whose Lunch Is It Anyway?

A selection of comedic academics do a stint of stand-up for your entertainment and enlightenment. Laughs and learning in one neat package: tick.

Fri 28 Dec

Hogmanay Hootfest! (Jo Caulfield, John Gillick, James Kirk)

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £15

Banterous chap Martin Mor hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aidedand-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

The Bongo Club, 19:30–22:00, £7

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £12 (£10)

Sat 15 Dec The Stand Christmas Special (James Kirk, Simon Donald, Jo Caulfield)

Christmas edition of the comedy quizcum-game show extravaganza, with fun games and prizes galore.

Chilled comedy showcase to cure your Sunday evening back-to-work blues.

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £15

Fri 21 Dec The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £10 (£9/£5 members)

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

Prime stand-up from the Scottish and international circuit, hosted by a rotating selection of Stand stalwarts.

Wed 12 Dec

The Saturday Show (Seymour Mace, Romesh Ranganathan, John Gavin)

Banterous chap Martin Mor hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aidedand-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

The Stand Christmas Special (James Kirk, Simon Donald, Jo Caulfield) The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

Banterous chap Martin Mor hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aidedand-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Thu 13 Dec Napier University Drama Society’s Christmas Show The Bongo Club, 19:00–22:00, £5 (£4)

Sat 22 Dec The Stand, 21:00–23:00, £15

Packed Saturday bill of stand-up headliners and resident comperes.

Sun 23 Dec Whose Lunch Is It Anyway?

The Stand, 13:30–15:30, Free

Improvised lunchtime comedy favourite with resident cheeky chappies Stu & Garry.

The Sunday Night Laugh-In The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£1 members)

Comic sketch show written, directed, produced and performed by the fine students of Napier University Drama Society.

Chilled comedy showcase to cure your Sunday evening back-to-work blues.

Fit O’ The Giggles

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £6 (£5/£3 members)

The Stand Christmas Special (James Kirk, Simon Donald, Jo Caulfield)

Tuesday Night Comedy Jam

Banterous chap Martin Mor hosts a series of Stand Christmas specials, aidedand-abetted by a string of stand-up guests, hopefully in Santa hats.

Tue 04 Dec Wicked Wenches (Janey Godley, Wendy Wason, Tania Edwards, Sarah Short) All-female stand-up, with a suitably varied mix of headliners and newcomers.

Belushi’s, 20:00–22:30, Free

Resident host Rick Molland introduces a variety of stand-up comedians and comedy acts.

The Stand, 20:30–22:30, £12 (£10)

Mon 24 Dec City Café, 20:30–22:30, £3 (£2)

Keara Murphy hosts a selection of acts taking in sketches, stand-up, mime, musical comedy, poetry, magic, and, well, pretty much anything else they fancy.

THU 27 DEC HOGMANAY HOOTFEST! (TOM STADE, VLADIMIR MCTAVISH, KEIR MCALLISTER, BRUCE DEVLIN) THE STAND, 21:00–23:00, £12 (£10)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

FRI 28 DEC HOGMANAY HOOTFEST! (TOM STADE, VLADIMIR MCTAVISH, KEIR MCALLISTER, BRUCE DEVLIN) THE STAND, 21:00–23:00, £12 (£10)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

SAT 29 DEC HOGMANAY HOOTFEST! (TOM STADE, VLADIMIR MCTAVISH, KEIR MCALLISTER, BRUCE DEVLIN) THE STAND, 21:00–23:00, £15 (£12)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

SUN 30 DEC ROCK AND ROLL PING PONG THE BONGO CLUB, 18:00–22:00, FREE

The It’s Funtime jokers present a free, fun, table tennis evening, with dancing discs from DJ Ding Dong (ahem).

HOGMANAY HOOTFEST! (TOM STADE, VLADIMIR MCTAVISH, KEIR MCALLISTER, BRUCE DEVLIN) THE STAND, 21:00–23:00, £12 (£10)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

ART GLASGOW PRINT STUDIO IMPRESSIONS: CHRISTMAS EXHIBITION 7–23 DEC, NOT 10, 17, TIMES VARY, FREE

Glasgow Print Studio host their annual Christmas exhibition, showcasing work to buy from over 50 well-known and emerging local and national artists; with highlights include works by Elizabeth Blackadder, John Byrne, Fiona Watson and Scott Campbell.

GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART THREE POINTS OF CONTACT 1–14 DEC, 11:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

New UK-wide collaborative residency project which sees Portuguese artists Von Calhau! work alongside artists in York, Glasgow and Cornwall. From 1-14 December, the GSA’s Mackintosh Museum will become an open studio where you can view them working.

GLASGOW SCULPTURE STUDIOS @ THE WHISKY BOND ORANGUTAN VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 28 NOV AND 15 DEC, 11:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

Solo exhibition of new work by GSA Master of Fine Art graduate Alex Impey, following the culmination of his one-year Gordon Foundation Graduate Fellowship at Glasgow Sculpture Studios.

FIT O’ THE GIGGLES

KELVINGROVE ART GALLERY AND MUSEUM

CITY CAFÉ, 20:30–22:30, £3 (£2)

PHARAOH – KING OF EGYPT

MON 31 DEC Keara Murphy hosts a selection of acts taking in sketches, stand-up, mime, musical comedy, poetry, magic, and, well, pretty much anything else they fancy.

HOGMANAY HOOTFEST! (TOM STADE, VLADIMIR MCTAVISH, KEIR MCALLISTER, BRUCE DEVLIN) THE STAND, 21:00–23:00, £22.50 (£19/£15 MEMBERS)

The Stand celebrate the coming of 2013 with a string of comedy Hootfest’s, playing host to a bill of comedy favourites over the course of the evening.

GLASGOW CCA OLIVIA PLENDER: RISE EARLY, BE INDUSTRIOUS 27 NOV – 15 DEC, NOT 2 DEC, 9 DEC, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

Series of room-sized installations which include sculpture, banners, posters, board games, architectural models and video, focusing on Berlin-based artist Olivia Plender’s research into how attitudes towards mass education have evolved.

MICHAEL WHITE, NEW MYTHS, MODERN MAN 27 NOV – 8 DEC, NOT 2 DEC, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

Kirbirnie-based artist Michael White, also a member of artist collective Willie McNulty, showcases a new selection of prints juxtaposing images referencing designed obsolescence, nostalgia, industrially manufactured individualism and mythology.

DAVID DALE GALLERY AND STUDIOS STUART WHIPPS: TICK, TACK, TICK, TACK, TICK VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 30 NOV AND 16 DEC, 12:00PM – 5:00PM, FREE

Showcase of work from Birminghambased artist Stuart Whipps, whose practice takes its inspiration primarily from ideas relating to shifting ideologies and change.

GALLERY OF MODERN ART TALES OF THE CITY (GALLERY 3) 27 NOV – 20 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

As part of the gallery-spanning Tales of the City exhibition, Glasgow Gallery of Modern Art display a selection of broad range of portraiture in Gallery 3, taking in work by Eve Arnold, Frank Auerbach and Beagles & Ramsay.

TALES OF THE CITY (GALLERY 2) 27 NOV – 23 JUN, TIMES VARY, FREE

As part of the gallery-spanning Tales of the City exhibition, Glasgow Gallery of Modern Art display a selection of mixed media objects in Gallery 2, encompassing work from Alex Frost, David Hockney, Scott Myles, David Sherry and Simon Starling.

27 NOV – 24 FEB, TIMES VARY, £5 (£3)

Showcase exhibition taking in 130 objects from the British Museum’s collection of ancient Egyptian artefacts, including sculpture, bronze figures, written works on papyrus, jewellery and weaponry.

MARY MARY MATHEW CERLETTY, SEAN KENNEDY AND MATEO TANNATT VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 27 NOV AND 19 JAN, 12:00PM – 6:00PM, FREE

Triple-hander exhibition featuring the work of Mathew Cerletty, Sean Kennedy and Mateo Tannatt.

PEOPLE’S PALACE SCOTLAND CAN MAKE IT! VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 27 NOV AND 13 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

Unique collaboration between Creative Scotland and Panel, presenting a series of souvenirs – designed and manufactured entirely in Scotland – to be ready for the 2014 Commonwealth Games, the prototypes of which will make up the body of the exhibition.

PROJECT ABILITY LENNOX CASTLE STORIES 6–19 DEC, NOT 9, 10, 16, 17, 10:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

Meditative exhibition aimed at capturing the memories of people who were resident in Lennon Castle Hospital before its closure in 2003.

QUEENS PARK RAILWAY CLUB COLQUHOUN & HOLLINGSWORTH: TWO RUINS 27 NOV – 8 DEC, NOT 2 DEC, 3 DEC, 2:00PM – 6:00PM, FREE

Collaborative investigation at the intersection of performance and sculpture from Steve Hollingsworth and Jim Colquhoun, with the artists interacting amongst a scattering of neon tubing with proximity oscillators attached to their chests. As you do.

RGI KELLY GALLERY RGI KELLY GALLERY: THE CHRISTMAS SHOW VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 1 DEC AND 22 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

RGI Kelly host their once-in-a-year opportunity to buy small artworks from a selection of Scottish artists, including postcards and small, framed works.

LISTINGS

STREET LEVEL PHOTOWORKS ANDY WEINER: LIFE STORIES 27 NOV – 9 DEC, NOT 3 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

New exhibition premiering Andy Weiner’s new series of photographs, Life Story Work, where he explores his heritage – as well as different childhood and adult identities – to provide an insightful view of his male identity.

ROBIN GILLANDERS: TEN MEN 27 NOV – 9 DEC, NOT 3 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

Series of autobiographical head studies made by Robin Gillanders as he approached his 60th year, taking in selected friends and acquaintances whose age and cultural interests are similar to his own.

THE DUCHY VIDEO PALACE NO. 35: LE DISCOURS DES MEDIAS II VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 1 DEC AND 22 DEC, 12:00PM – 6:00PM, FREE

First UK solo show by Berlin-based video and installation artist Joep Van Liefland, exploring the history, iconography and decay of video media.

THE LIGHTHOUSE UNBUILT MACKINTOSH 27 NOV – 31 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

The Lighthouse unveil a new permanent exhibition showcasing a selection of stunning architectural models based on the unbuilt designs of Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

THE VISUAL IDENTITY OF SLOVENIA: DESIGNING FOR THE STATE 27 NOV – 9 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

In celebration of prominent Slovenian graphic designer Miljenko Licul, The Lighthouse present some of the significant components that defined the visual appearance of The Republic of Slovenia and helped to shape its identity.

ABOVE SCOTLAND 27 NOV – 23 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

New exhibition allowing visitors a unique birds eye view of Scotland and to explore stunning aerial photography from the National Collection of Aerial Photography.

THE COCKEYED TURKEY AND A PAPER PUDDING 5 DEC – 5 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

Special festive exhibition featuring work from a range of artists and designers, also doubling as a design shop with a Saturday ‘Secret Santa’ shop selling budget £5 gifts by local designers, as part of the themed popup markets (1, 8, 15, 22 Dec).

THE MODERN INSTITUTE MONIKA SOSNOWSKA VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 30 NOV AND 12 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

The Polish painter – who studied at the Painting Department of the Academy of Fine Arts in Poznan – presents a showcase of all-encompassing work, known as she is for designing projects to fit into a specific space.

THE MODERN INSTITUTE @ AIRDS LANE JIM LAMBIE: SHAVED ICE VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 29 NOV AND 19 JAN, 12:00PM – 5:00PM, FREE

The Modern Institute’s new Aird’s Lane gallery space is taken over by new work from Glasgow artist Jim Lambie, who’ll be installing sixteen ladders with mirrored inserts and luminous-coloured coatings – accentuating the height and symmetry of the space.

THE TELFER GALLERY RIOTOUS 8–14 DEC, NOT 10, 11, 12:00PM – 6:00PM, FREE

Triple-header exhibition from Katie Johnston, Martin McGuinness and Alison Whyte, aiming to explore the idea of communication and influence whilst considering how it affects the human condition.

THE VIRGINIA GALLERY FUTURISTIC FASHION 6–22 DEC, NOT 9, 10, 16, 17, 11:00AM – 5:30PM, FREE

New Glasgow-based techno-ethical womenswear brand allenomis launches its first transformable collection, showcasing a selection of outfits which respond to climate and social context.

TRAMWAY

EMBASSY GALLERY

RICHARD HUGHES

URARA TSUCHIYA : YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED

27 NOV – 16 DEC, NOT 3 DEC, 10 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

Ambitious new solo exhibition from the Birmingham-born artist, in which he explores nondescript urban and suburban places in various British cities – including a scale replica of a run-down community centre

EDINBURGH CITY ART CENTRE JOHN CLERK OF ELDIN: 1728-1812 27 NOV – 3 FEB, TIMES VARY, FREE

Special exhibition celebrating the 200th anniversary of the death of one of Scotland’s finest amateur artists, John Clerk of Eldin, giving his geological drawings and etching their first major overview.

WILHELMINA BARNS-GRAHAM 27 NOV – 17 FEB, TIMES VARY, FREE

Major exhibition exploring the work of the late Wilhelmina Barns-Graham (1912 -2004), who settled in St Ives and became an integral part of a group of artists working there, including Ben Nicolson and Barbara Hepworth.

THE DEREK WILLIAMS COLLECTION 1 DEC – 24 FEB, TIMES VARY, FREE

Touring exhibition from the late Cardiff-based collector, bringing together pieces from his personal collection for their first touring outing – including work by Lucien Freud, L.S. Lowry and David Jones.

COLLECTIVE GALLERY COLLECTIVE FUNDRAISING AUCTION 7–12 DEC, NOT 10, TIMES VARY, FREE

Collective raise funds for their 2013 move to the City Observatory, displaying work from over 60 donating artists – amongst them Martin Boyce, David Shrigley and Jeremy Deller – with an auction of the work to follow at Lyon and Turnbull on 12 Dec (6pm).

CHRISTMAS WINDOW EXHIBITION: TESSA LYNCH 7 DEC – 6 JAN, 11:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

While most galleries shut up shop for Christmas, Collective always leave a little surprise behind with their annual Christmas window display, for which Tessa Lynch will be creating a work themed around their forthcoming auction in March.

DOVECOT CARPETS OF DISTINCTION VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 27 NOV AND 12 JAN, 10:30AM – 5:30PM, FREE

Showroom of six hand-tufted rugs, produced by Panel as part of a unique collaboration between seven artists exploring connections between the spheres of art and craft and the massproduced culture of industrial design.

MICHAEL BRENNAND-WOOD: FOREVER CHANGES VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 7 DEC AND 12 JAN, 10:30AM – 5:30PM, FREE

The first comprehensive exhibition of Michael Brennand-Wood’s four decades of practice, drawing from 35 years of work, including many rare and previously unseen pieces.

DUNDAS STREET GALLERY DAVID MCCLURE

VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 29 NOV AND 16 DEC, 12:00PM – 6:00PM, FREE

The Japanese artist stages a series of performances and open studios over three weeks at Embassy Gallery, exploring the disconcertion oft found between the personal and social worlds.

See Embassy’s Facebook page for more details (/embassy.edinburgh).

FRUITMARKET GALLERY GALÁPAGOS 27 NOV – 3 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

Unique exhibition bringing together work by twelve artists who traveled to and spent time in the Galápagos archipelago through a residency programme initiated in 2007, taking in a vast variety of approaches and disciplines.

GALLERY TEN SPEKTRUM COLLECTIVE 27 NOV – 23 DEC, NOT 3 DEC, 10 DEC, 17 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

Brand new gallery on the block, Gallery TEN, present a showcase of work from SpeKtrum Collective – a group of printmaking artists formed in 2011 to promote print in all its forms to a wider audience.

INGLEBY GALLERY KEVIN HARMAN: WHEN A TREE FALLS 27 NOV – 22 DEC, NOT 2 DEC, 9 DEC, 16 DEC, 10:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

Solo showcase from Edinburgh artist Kevin Harman, well-kent for exploring the everyday to find the extraordinary, oft using the found objects in which he finds his inspiration as the principle component of his artworks.

HARLAND MILLER: ON OVERCOMING OPTIMISM VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 27 NOV AND 26 JAN, 10:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

First exhibition in Scotland for artist and novelist Harland Miller, presenting a group of new paintings alongside a selected survey of work from across several years.

CHANGEMENT DE DECOR VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 27 NOV AND 19 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

Exhibition of images by Scottish photographer Albie Clark, who, working on and off the stage, captured a series of images of the Institut Francais in action during a busy summer 2012.

INVERLEITH HOUSE ANDY HOPE 1930 VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 27 NOV AND 27 JAN, 10:00AM – 5:30PM, FREE

German artist Andy Hope 1930 interprets a lifelong fascination and engagement with popular culture, fantasy and science fiction, often using paintings found in charity shops as the basis for his own surreal and mysterious paintings.

OPEN EYE GALLERY ON A SMALL SCALE 3–24 DEC, NOT 9, 16, 23, TIMES VARY, FREE

A selection of invited Open Eye artists show unframed works, all on A5 sized board, exhibited side-by-side and banked across all four walls of one exhibition room.

EDINBURGH PRINTMAKERS

THE BLACK AND WHITE ROOM

FERAL LANDSCAPE VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 27 NOV AND 22 DEC, 10:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

Edinburgh Printmakers’ host their largest annual members’ exhibition, showcasing some of Scotland’s best printmaking talent. For it, each artist will explore the idea of ‘feral landscape’; fusing the natural and manmade, and the tamed and the untameable.

EDINBURGH SCULPTURE WORKSHOP ART REPAIR SHOP 27 NOV – 7 DEC, NOT 2 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

Month-long public workshop looking at the value, production, display and distribution of the art object, led by Berlin-based artist Tobias Sternberg, for which broken or non-functioning objects will be transformed into artworks by Tobias and his team.

JOHN BELLANY: A PASSION FOR LIFE 27 NOV – 27 JAN, TIMES VARY, £7 (£5)

The Scottish National Gallery mark John Bellany’s 70th year with an exhibition of paintings, watercolours, drawings and prints from all the key periods of his career.

SCOTTISH NATIONAL GALLERY OF MODERN ART THE SCOTTISH COLOURIST SERIES: SJ PEPLOE 27 NOV – 23 JUN, 10:00AM – 5:00PM, £7 (£5)

The second in the Scottish Colourist Series of exhibitions takes in a retrospective of Samuel John Peploe (1871-1935), the eldest of the four artists popularly known as The Scottish Colourists.

FROM DEATH TO DEATH AND OTHER SMALL TALES 15 DEC – 8 SEP, 10:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

Selected masterpieces from the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art and the Daskalopoulos Collection, taking in some 130 works that each highlight the significance of the body as a theme in 20th and 21st century art practice.

SCOTTISH NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY LUCKNOW TO LAHORE 27 NOV – 7 APR, TIMES VARY, FREE

Series of photos by Scottish commercial photographer Fred Bremner spanning his travels in the Indian subcontinent from 1882 to 1922, exquisitely detailing the people and places of Imperial India.

JITKA HANZLOVÁ 27 NOV – 3 FEB, TIMES VARY, FREE

Since defecting from the communist regime in Czechoslovakia and settling in West Germany, Jitka Hanzlová has explored her condition of exile through photography. In the only UK showing of her work, this showcase displays the profound fruits of her labour.

LEADING LIGHTS: PORTRAITS BY KK DUNDAS 27 NOV – 3 MAR, TIMES VARY, FREE

INSTITUT FRANCAIS D’ECOSSE

4–9 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

Retrospective selection of paintings and drawings by the late Edinburgh painter.

SCOTTISH NATIONAL GALLERY

3–24 DEC, NOT 9, 16, 23, TIMES VARY, FREE

Showcase of selected monochrome works by artists including Pablo Picasso and David Hockney, grouped together for Open Eye’s thematic Christmas show.

OUT OF THE BLUE DRILL HALL SKULDUGGERY (THERE’S SOMETHING UNDERHAND) 3–6 DEC, 10:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

Local artist Gerry Mooney presents a specially-created exhibition of skull art using a variety of mediums.

ROYAL SCOTTISH ACADEMY (RSA) RSA OPEN 2012 27 NOV – 31 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

Exhibition of small works sourced by open submission from artists across Scotland, including paintings, drawings, sculptures, prints and photographs – all available to buy – with this year seeing the addition of a room dedicated solely to architecture.

In 2011, to celebrate its 60th anniversary, the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland commissioned portraits of its students past and present, with this selection featuring some of their most illustrious alumni.

BP PORTRAIT AWARD 2012

ANTONIO CLAUDIO CARVALHO: LET THE SUN HEAR YOU CRYING 15 DEC – 26 JAN, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

Thought-provoking exhibition where images from Nazi Germany in the 1930s are printed over bright, colourful backgrounds.

INGRID CHRISTIE: 12 FACTORIAL 15 DEC – 26 JAN, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

The Fine Art graduate displays a selection of unique work exploring the limitless possibilities of art – using a computer program to rearrange divisional elements of her paneled paintings, for which over 245 billion combinations can be arranged.

DCA HOLIDAY VARIOUS DATES BETWEEN 8 DEC AND 27 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

First solo UK exhibition by emerging international artist Trisha Baga, centred around her Plymouth Rock installation, which considers the famous pilgrim landing site via Chinese takeaway menus – culminating in a recital of a Justin Bieber Christmas song.

DUNCAN OF JORDANSTONE COLLEGE OF ART AND DESIGN

SUPERCLUB

COMICS, MANGA & CO: THE NEW CULTURE OF GERMAN COMICS

HARVEST

27 NOV – 8 DEC, 12:00PM – 4:30PM, FREE

7 DEC, 6:00PM – 9:00PM, FREE

Regular Skinny illustrator and former Showcase artist Jamie Johnson launches his new bespoke company with friend Kieron Forbes, Harvest – previewing a selection of screenprinted skateboards, t-shirts, an artist book and lithoprints.

TALBOT RICE GALLERY ZOE BELOFF 27 NOV – 16 FEB, 10:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

Solo exhibition bringing together the final installation and film part of Zoe Beloff’s The Days of the Commune project, for which she assembled in various public spaces in New York City to work on scenes from Bertol Brecht’s The Days of the Commune.

URBAN OUTFITTERS SANDER SCHOONBEEK 27 NOV – 14 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

The ECA graduate presents a solo show of screenprints based on the forgotten glory of the classic car, taking over the basement space of Urban Outfitters.

DUNDEE COOPER GALLERY EDGAR SCHMITZ: SURPLUS CAMEO DECOR (EPISODE 3)

Special exhibition of works from the leading lights of German comic book art, including autobiographical, surrealist and historical narratives alongside comic reportages and literary adaptations. Get to.

HANNAH MACLURE CENTRE FINDING KINAESTHESIA 27 NOV – 14 DEC, WEEKDAYS ONLY, 10:00AM – 5:00PM, FREE

Peter William Holden showcases a selection of his unique dancing machines, which tap, twist and turn in beautifully choreographed rhythmic routines - oft thought of as ‘living sculptures’.

THE MCMANUS SELLING DREAMS: ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF FASHION PHOTOGRAPHY 27 NOV – 6 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

Fashion photography showcase celebrating the lead up to the opening of the V&A in Dundee, exploring the work of international fashion photographers from the early twentieth century to the present day – from Helmut Newton to Rankin.

REFLECTIONS FROM THE TAY 27 NOV – 31 AUG, TIMES VARY, FREE

New exhibition focusing on artists with links to Dundee – artists who were born there, worked locally or were associated with the Dundee College of Art.

29 NOV – 14 DEC, NOT 2 DEC, 9 DEC, TIMES VARY, FREE

First major Scottish exhibition for Edgar Schmitz set over three episodes, expanding on recent works that develop modes of escape from our contemporary situation.

27 NOV – 27 JAN, TIMES VARY, FREE

Annual showcase of the very best in contemporary portrait painting from around the world, this year featuring 55 works selected from over 2,000 international entries.

STILLS WORK IN PROGRESS 27 NOV – 20 DEC, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

A trio of artists – Lena Dobrowolska, Caroline Douglas and Morwenna Kearsley – showcase a selection of work, with each artist reliant on Stills as a place to research and produce new work.

SUMMERHALL NOIR!: A CHRISTMAS FAIR 8–9 DEC, 11:00AM – 7:00PM, £4 (£3/ CHILDREN FREE)

All-day fashion, food and arts Christmas market from the inimitable Noir! collective, celebrating Scotland’s creative talent through bespoke stalls, pop-up exhibits, workshops and live performances.

FROM GAGA TO GORMELY: TRANSFORMATION & REVELATIONS 15 DEC – 22 FEB, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

Showcase of 33 specially-designed vitrines, featuring the work of various British stage and theatre designers, including Anthony Gormley’s design for a Sadler’s Wells opera and stage designs for Lady Gaga’s Monster Ball World Tour.

THE ‘LOST’ PHOTOGRAPHS: ANDY WARHOL AND JOSEPH BEUYS 15 DEC – 26 JAN, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

A selection of 29 colour photographs never before exhibited, including evidence of a raucous party held by Andy Warhol in honour of his friend Joseph Beuys in Napoli in 1980.

STEPHEN THORPE: ONE IT’S IN YOU, IT NEVER GOES AWAY 15 DEC – 26 JAN, 11:00AM – 6:00PM, FREE

The recent winner of Saatchi Online’s Showdown competition exhibits new work that tempts the viewer to journey into the artist’s imagination, hinting at the creative process behind each artwork.

DECEMBER 2012

THE SKINNY 69

music

outback

Guest Selector: The Twilight Sad

Ending the year with one last word from the band that graced our cover back in January, James Graham and Andy McFarlane revisit the albums that inspired them to form a band in the first place interview: Dave Kerr

photo: euan robertson

1. Manic Street Preachers – The Holy Bible (1994) James: This first album I bought by the Manics was Everything Must Go. That would have been in ’96 when I was 12; I was in the supermarket and did that old thing you do with your maw when you stick a CD in underneath a loaf of bread and they don’t notice until they get to the checkout. They were the first band I saw live, over at the SECC with the Boo Radleys in ’97. Shortly after that I got The Holy Bible. We were in school at that point and I remember we’d had a concert in front of all the parents, who had turned up to see their daughters and sons do their nice clarinet quartet stuff. I got up and sang This Is Yesterday. Was it you who backed me up on guitar, Andy?

Andy: It was 100% not me, because I had to go to another school and do something…

James: Oh right, special school? The School of Rock? But anyway, from that age, that’s the first band and the first album that I still go back to. I bought the reissue recently. It’s pretty dark, obviously, and I think our last record, musically, is more suited to that sort of atmosphere. Everything about it – the artwork, the lyrics – fits the mood of the kind of stuff we write and gets us in that mind frame before we start. They were the first band I properly got obsessed with – like, I’ve got everything they’ve ever done – B-sides, the lot.

Andy: Both of us were.

2. Interpol – Turn on the Bright Lights (2002) James: It’s the tenth anniversary of this coming up. It was actually Andy who gave me it.

Andy: I was trying to expand his mind! Well, just let him hear something else...

James: They came out at a time when there wasn’t much going on in music that I liked – there was nothing striking me.

Andy: Well, it was just after The Strokes, and they weren’t quite so poppy...

James: It still had that New York ‘cool’ thing about it, but there was a lot more to it. I quite liked The Strokes, but then it was just copycats, copycats, copycats. This had a lot of substance to it. I mean obviously, it was in Friends as well, when Joey and Rachel kissed for the first time – Untitled came on.

That’s what got me intae it! Ha. Luckily enough we ended up working with Peter Katis, the same guy who produced that album. I remember he was making us pasta, on his fridge he had the notes and chord progressions for each song – like Obstacle One, which he’d kept from the sessions.

It was a nice thing to see.

Andy: For me, that first one was all about those basslines. Carlos D wasn’t even a bassplayer, he was a composer! The guitars were almost playing what the bass would’ve been, he was fannying about playing anything, and it sounded amazing!

James: He did look like a cool bastard.

3. The Smiths – Meat Is Murder (1985) Andy: This, to me, is the best Smiths album. Everything about it. From a guitarist’s point of view, it’s pretty unique. The first time I heard this, I rented it out of the library in the ’90s. It must have been when What’s the Story came out; I remember Noel Gallagher talking about The Smiths and Johnny Marr’s guitar playing, and when I finally heard it I was like ‘How

70 THE SKINNY

December 2012

could he like that? It just sounds like wee jangly nonsense.’ So I rented it out, sat and listened and I’m thinking ‘I don’t get it – whit?’ Eventually it just all clicked and I could finally see where he was coming from. I put in a lot of listening time at college!

4. Arab Strap – Monday Night at the Hug & Pint (2003) James: Andy gave me this one as well…

Andy: I was trying to talk you into singing! I said ‘Look, you don’t even need to put on a funny accent – listen to this plum!’ He was singing at that point, but it was always Manics tunes. This is when we were about 16.

James: I just went into music class one day and was made to sing Australia by our teacher in front of the whole class. Then youse went ‘Right, we’ll get you to sing in the band.’ Andy made me a mix CD, saying ‘Look, I think these might inspire you,’ and it was Fucking Little Bastards that was on it.

I was like ‘fuck – what’s that?’ So, for me, to hear Aidan writing about the normal things that happen to him, in his own dialect, I didn’t so much want to copy him – I just wanted to be brave enough to be myself like he was. Andy was going on at me for years, saying ‘I know you can write a tune.’ I’d just say ‘Och, I dunno, man.’ Me being jolted out of that was definitely something to do with hearing this record. It spiralled after that. Arab Strap were monumental to me.

5. David Bowie – Low (1977) Andy: I’ve always listened to Bowie, even since I was really wee. As far back as I can remember – probably since I watched Labyrinth! When you listen to Bowie, he always seems familiar. Low was obviously around that whole Berlin period, when he was trying to sound like Kraftwerk and Neu! It’s just amazing.

But that’s David Bowie – he finds a bit of music and thinks ‘I’m going to rip that whole genre off.’

He did it amazingly well here, particularly for being such a mainstream guy by that point. I mean Sound and Vision’s on there, but that’s the one single; then there’s this collage of small, really well written ideas. You’d get to the end and realise he’d somehow written a song that sounds like Steve Reich! He was just moving on and trying to reinvent himself. David Bowie’s somebody I’ll always go back to – none of his albums sound the same.

It’s a good reminder to keep on pushing yourself.

6. The Beach Boys – Friends (1968) / 20/20 (1969) James: This is a weird one, because there’s two different versions of this album since it was reissued. I got the version that comes on the one CD from the fiver wall in Music Zone Direct. Pet Sounds is going to be the obvious one to choose if you like the Beach Boys, but the songs on this one felt like they had a lot less production. A lot of them are demos anyway, but I liked that quality to it. On songs like Anna Lee, The Healer you were hearing the bare bones. It was really simple. You can have the big songs, but when you strip it bare to its elements it works on a totally different level. That’s what I liked about that record, and it’s something we try to do. I wouldn’t like to be in a band that couldn’t.

For vocal melodies, they’re the top dogs, but

this wasn’t about five voices harmonising at the same time – it’s just one guy singing on most of these songs. When I write I’ll try and reach the kind of notes that were happening here, to try and replicate what they were doing in a way. Some of the lyrics here are pretty heartbreaking too, just listen to Little Bird.

7. Black Sabbath – Paranoid (1970) Andy: I remember when I was in primary school, learning how to play the guitar, Black Sabbath were one of the first bands I’d become engrossed by, trying to figure out how to play their songs. I always thought that if I could play guitar like Tony Iommi and Slash I’d be laughing! It’s turned out I don’t play like any of them, right enough, but the thought was there.

Paranoid was the first Sabbath album I heard and I still go back to it. I don’t know what it must have sounded like at the time, because 42 years later it still has this really massive sound – opening with a song like War Pigs and finishing with Fairies Wear Boots? You can’t really better that.

8. Joy Division – Closer (1980) Andy: Everything about this album is just amazing; from Martin Hannett’s production upwards.

You can still listen to it now and it’s really pure and fresh sounding. One of the things I like about Joy Division is that Love Will Tear Us Apart wasn’t even on an album, and there’s no big single here. It’s an album you have to sit down with from start to finish, written specifically for that purpose. It wasn’t a case of ‘we need to put a hit single on this,’ or ‘we’ll need to write three for the record company’ and that kind of shit. They’re not trying to be something they aren’t. Obviously there are songs from it which are played on the radio now, but those tracks on their own don’t have the impact you get when you sit down and take it all in. I probably started listening to Joy Division through the Manics, in the same way I did The Clash. The Manics would walk on to Incubation, and I’d wonder ‘What’s

that? Sounds brilliant.’

9. The Cure – Seventeen Seconds (1980) / Faith (1981) Pornography (1982) Andy: You can’t pick a single Cure album.

James: There’s been countless arguments in the back of the van over this.

Particularly when Dok was in the band. Me, Andy and Divine would argue for all sorts.

Andy: Dok would always say Disintegration without a doubt. But you forget about the whole Seventeen Seconds era. The ‘trilogy’ is wrong!

They say the trilogy is Pornography, Disintegration and Bloodflowers – it should be Seventeen Seconds, Pornography and Faith – because they’re the three that sound the same. They started with a really poppy album and went ‘fuck that, left turn.’ To me, they’ve got that same atmosphere as the likes of Closer and The Holy Bible – it’s quite austere and gothic.

James: People are going to read this and go ‘Fuckin’ dicks.’

10. Depeche Mode – Violator (1990) James: It’s an easy option but it’s fuckin’ brilliant. Music For the Masses was really good; Andy recommended that, but I keep going back to Violator, just ‘cos it had the fuckin’ hits!

Andy: It’s quite a beast. They totally set up the path for Nine Inch Nails, which brought industrial music into the mainstream. Enjoy the Silence and Policy of Truth were the two tracks you always knew, even if you didn’t know Depeche Mode.

James: I was a big Marilyn Manson fan and heard Personal Jesus through that. Johnny Cash does a great cover on American IV too, of course. We covered Enjoy the Silence; Devine started playing the riff and some cunt laughed down the front!

Devine was like ‘The fuck?’ He was obviously pretty proud of the job he’d made of it until then.

The Twilight Sad play Barrowlands, Glasgow on 15 Dec www.thetwilightsad.com

outback

Guest Selector: The Twilight Sad

music

Ending the year with one last word from the band that graced our cover back in January, James Graham and Andy McFarlane revisit the albums that inspired them to form a band in the first place interview: Dave Kerr

1. Manic Street Preachers – The Holy Bible (1994) James: This first album I bought by the Manics was Everything Must Go. That would have been in ’96 when I was 12; I was in the supermarket and did that old thing you do with your maw when you stick a CD in underneath a loaf of bread and they don’t notice until they get to the checkout. They were the first band I saw live, over at the SECC with the Boo Radleys in ’97. Shortly after that I got The Holy Bible. We were in school at that point and I remember we’d had a concert in front of all the parents, who had turned up to see their daughters and sons do their nice clarinet quartet stuff. I got up and sang This Is Yesterday. Was it you who backed me up on guitar, Andy?

Andy: It was 100% not me, because I had to go to another school and do something…

James: Oh right, special school? The School of Rock? But anyway, from that age, that’s the first band and the first album that I still go back to. I bought the reissue recently. It’s pretty dark, obviously, and I think our last record, musically, is more suited to that sort of atmosphere. Everything about it – the artwork, the lyrics – fits the mood of the kind of stuff we write and gets us in that mind frame before we start. They were the first band I properly got obsessed with – like, I’ve got everything they’ve ever done – B-sides, the lot.

Andy: Both of us were.

2. Interpol – Turn on the Bright Lights (2002) James: It’s the tenth anniversary of this coming up.

It was actually Andy who gave me it.

Andy: I was trying to expand his mind! Well, just let him hear something else...

James: They came out at a time when there wasn’t much going on in music that I liked – there was nothing striking me.

Andy: Well, it was just after The Strokes, and they weren’t quite so poppy...

James: It still had that New York ‘cool’ thing about it, but there was a lot more to it. I quite liked The Strokes, but then it was just copycats, copycats, copycats. This had a lot of substance to it. I mean obviously, it was in Friends as well, when Joey and Rachel kissed for the first time – Untitled came on.

That’s what got me intae it! Ha. Luckily enough we ended up working with Peter Katis, the same guy who produced that album. I remember he was making us pasta, on his fridge he had the notes and chord progressions for each song – like Obstacle One, which he’d kept from the sessions.

It was a nice thing to see.

Andy: For me, that first one was all about those basslines. Carlos D wasn’t even a bassplayer, he was a composer! The guitars were almost playing what the bass would’ve been, he was fannying about playing anything, and it sounded amazing!

James: He did look like a cool bastard.

3. The Smiths – Meat Is Murder (1985) Andy: This, to me, is the best Smiths album.

Everything about it. From a guitarist’s point of view, it’s pretty unique. The first time I heard this, I rented it out of the library in the ’90s. It must have been when What’s the Story came out; I remember Noel Gallagher talking about The Smiths and Johnny Marr’s guitar playing, and when I finally heard it I was like ‘How could he like that? It just sounds like wee jangly nonsense.’ So I rented it out, sat and listened and I’m thinking ‘I don’t get it – whit?’ Eventually it just all clicked and I could finally see where he was coming from. I put in a lot of listening time at college!

70 THE SKINNY

December 2012

photo: euan robertson

4. Arab Strap – Monday Night at the Hug & Pint (2003) James: Andy gave me this one as well…

Andy: I was trying to talk you into singing! I said ‘Look, you don’t even need to put on a funny accent – listen to this plum!’ He was singing at that point, but it was always Manics tunes. This is when we were about 16.

James: I just went into music class one day and was made to sing Australia by our teacher in front of the whole class. Then youse went ‘Right, we’ll get you to sing in the band.’ Andy made me a mix CD, saying ‘Look, I think these might inspire you,’ and it was Fucking Little Bastards that was on it.

I was like ‘fuck – what’s that?’ So, for me, to hear Aidan writing about the normal things that happen to him, in his own dialect, I didn’t so much want to copy him – I just wanted to be brave enough to be myself like he was. Andy was going on at me for years, saying ‘I know you can write a tune.’ I’d just say ‘Och, I dunno, man.’ Me being jolted out of that was definitely something to do with hearing this record. It spiralled after that. Arab Strap were monumental to me.

5. David Bowie – Low (1977) Andy: I’ve always listened to Bowie, even since I was really wee. As far back as I can remember – probably since I watched Labyrinth! When you listen to Bowie, he always seems familiar. Low was obviously around that whole Berlin period, when he was trying to sound like Kraftwerk and Neu! It’s just amazing. But that’s David Bowie – he finds a bit of music and thinks ‘I’m going to rip that whole genre off.’ He did it amazingly well here, particularly for being such a mainstream guy by that point. I mean Sound and Vision’s on there, but that’s the one single; then there’s this collage of small, really well written ideas. You’d get to the end and realise he’d somehow written a song that sounds like Steve Reich! He was just moving on and trying to reinvent himself. David Bowie’s somebody I’ll always go back to – none of his albums sound the same. It’s a good reminder to keep on pushing yourself.

6. The Beach Boys – Friends (1968) / 20/20 (1969) James: This is a weird one, because there’s two different versions of this album since it was reissued. I got the version that comes on the one CD from the fiver wall in Music Zone Direct. Pet Sounds is going to be the obvious one to choose if you like the Beach Boys, but the songs on this one felt like they had a lot less production. A lot of them are demos anyway, but I liked that quality to it. On songs like Anna Lee, The Healer you were hearing the bare bones. It was really simple.

You can have the big songs, but when you strip it bare to its elements it works on a totally different level. That’s what I liked about that record, and it’s something we try to do. I wouldn’t like to be in a band that couldn’t. For vocal melodies, they’re the top dogs, but this wasn’t about five voices harmonising at the same time – it’s just one guy singing on most of these songs. When I write I’ll try and reach the kind of notes that were happening here, to try and replicate what they were doing in a way. Some of the lyrics here are pretty heartbreaking too, just listen to Little Bird.

7. Black Sabbath – Paranoid (1970) Andy: I remember when I was in primary school, learning how to play the guitar, Black Sabbath were one of the first bands I’d become engrossed by, trying to figure out how to play their songs. I always thought that if I could play guitar like Tony

Iommi and Slash I’d be laughing! It’s turned out I don’t play like any of them, right enough, but the thought was there. Paranoid was the first Sabbath album I heard and I still go back to it. I don’t know what it must have sounded like at the time, because 42 years later it still has this really massive sound – opening with a song like War Pigs and finishing with Fairies Wear Boots? You can’t really better that.

8. Joy Division – Closer (1980) Andy: Everything about this album is just amazing; from Martin Hannett’s production upwards. You can still listen to it now and it’s really pure and fresh sounding. One of the things I like about Joy Division is that Love Will Tear Us Apart wasn’t even on an album, and there’s no big single here.

It’s an album you have to sit down with from start to finish, written specifically for that purpose. It wasn’t a case of ‘we need to put a hit single on this,’ or ‘we’ll need to write three for the record company’ and that kind of shit. They’re not trying to be something they aren’t. Obviously there are songs from it which are played on the radio now, but those tracks on their own don’t have the impact you get when you sit down and take it all in. I probably started listening to Joy Division through the Manics, in the same way I did The Clash. The Manics would walk on to Incubation, and I’d wonder ‘What’s that? Sounds brilliant.’

9. The Cure – Seventeen Seconds (1980) / Faith (1981) Pornography (1982) Andy: You can’t pick a single Cure album.

James: There’s been countless arguments in the

back of the van over this. Particularly when Dok was in the band. Me, Andy and Divine would argue for all sorts.

Andy: Dok would always say Disintegration without a doubt. But you forget about the whole Seventeen Seconds era. The ‘trilogy’ is wrong!

They say the trilogy is Pornography, Disintegration and Bloodflowers – it should be Seventeen Seconds, Pornography and Faith – because they’re the three that sound the same. They started with a really poppy album and went ‘fuck that, left turn.’ To me, they’ve got that same atmosphere as the likes of Closer and The Holy Bible – it’s quite austere and gothic.

James: People are going to read this and go ‘Fuckin’ dicks.’

10. Depeche Mode – Violator (1990) James: It’s an easy option but it’s fuckin’ brilliant.

Music For the Masses was really good; Andy recommended that, but I keep going back to Violator, just ‘cos it had the fuckin’ hits!

Andy: It’s quite a beast. They totally set up the path for Nine Inch Nails, which brought industrial music into the mainstream. Enjoy the Silence and Policy of Truth were the two tracks you always knew, even if you didn’t know Depeche Mode.

James: I was a big Marilyn Manson fan and heard Personal Jesus through that. Johnny Cash does a great cover on American IV too, of course. We covered Enjoy the Silence; Devine started playing the riff and some cunt laughed down the front!

Devine was like ‘The fuck?’ He was obviously pretty proud of the job he’d made of it until then.

The Twilight Sad play Barrowlands, Glasgow on 15 Dec www.thetwilightsad.com

OUTBACK

SANTA EGGS: THE INDUSTRIAL HEART OF CHRISTMAS

Sometimes the Yuletide spirit touches us in places we’d rather it didn’t.

MYSTIC MARK and DR. DARREN ICKE take an eye-opening journey inside the industrial heart of the Christmas season and show us what they find...

STORY & ILLUSTRATIONS: MYSTIC MARK & DR DARREN ICKE AS THE cold nights draw in and the winter solstice looms, we all begin to look forward to the annual ritual of gathering together beneath the Christmas tree, where we exchange enormous boxes of Santa Eggs.

If there’s one thing we can all agree on in this crazy world, it’s that everyone loves the taste of warm Santa Eggs fresh from the box. But have you ever stopped to think, where do they come from?

Who harvests the delicious eggs that we gorge ourselves on night and day every Christmas?

We discover how the Santa Egg magic originally started by interviewing the company’s founder, Bernard Manberger.

MYSTIC MARK: Thanks for agreeing to see us Bernard, we know you’re insanely busy.

BERNARD MANBERGER: Oh not at all! It’s always nice to be able to tell our side of the story.

DARREN ICKE: Now from what I understand, santas haven’t always been known for producing eggs, have they?

BM: No, that’s right. At one time there was only a single santa, or ‘Santa Claus’ as he was known. In fact people at the time didn’t even know he was capable of laying eggs, let alone what they would taste like.

DI: So tell us, how did you first get into the santa business?

BM: Well, when my daughter was only seven she heard a rumour that Santa didn’t exist and became terribly upset. In my attempt to reassure her, I managed to acquire a stray beard hair that the original Santa left on a stocking in a house in South Korea.

That was back in ‘96. The hair wasn’t enough to convince my daughter, but, since my background is in molecular biology and genetic engineering, I decided to have a crack at seeing if I could use the DNA in the hair to clone a new santa in my basement lab.

MM: You mentioned in your interview with Terry Wogan that you had a bit of difficulty perfecting the process?

BM: Yes [laughs] that’s a funny story actually. The cloning process was very new at the time and some of my first attempts were abominations.

Absolute obscenities of nature. At one point, one of the worst ones even escaped from the lab and I had to destroy it with a flamethrower. You should have seen it, completely on fire, scuttling up the walls and across the ceiling, screeching and squirting acidic liquid from its mandibles.

DI: [Laughs] I would like to have seen that!

MM: So when you finally perfected the first

santa, how did you discover that they laid such delicious eggs?

BM: That was a surprise! I unveiled the first fullyfunctional santa in our living room on Christmas Day ‘98. My daughter was over the moon. She just couldn’t stop clapping her hands and laughing and this did something to the santa, its eyes lit up and it began laughing too, clapping along. It became so jolly that it squatted down and laid an egg, right there on the carpet. We found out later that the sound of children’s laughter activates the eggproducing gland deep inside the santa. That was a revolutionary discovery. A real eureka moment!

And of course, I wasted no time in discovering what it tasted like. Fantastic!

DI: And so the Santa Egg Company was born, or should I say, laid!

BM: From those humble beginnings, a single santa locked in a cage in my basement lab, today we are extracting eggs from over 5,000 santas in this warehouse alone, and we have over a hundred facilities across five continents. We ship all over the world, just like Santa used to.

MM: So, I see we’re approaching the main entrance of the facility. Are the santas on the other side of that door?

BM: That’s right. Through there we keep the

santas. Thousands of them, all bellowing out “Ho, Ho, Ho!” and “Merry Christmas!” in a cacophonous roar. That’s why we insist you wear those ear-defenders, the sound is really quite deafening.

MM: I have a pair of these for when I’m practising my scream therapy.

BM: So, now we’re all kitted up, let me take you inside...

DI: Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you really cram them in there. And what a smell! I can imagine disease could be a problem?

BM: It can be – since the santas are so densely packed, any infection spreads rapidly. That’s why we keep them pumped full of antibiotics. A healthy santa is a productive santa, so we take all necessary precautions. Beard lice were a big problem in the beginning, but not now since we herd them through a chemical dip every three months.

MM: I can almost hear something above the roar, a different sound.

DI: Yes, it, it sounds a bit like... children’s laughter?

BM: Oh yes. Remember I told you how I discovered the santa’s egg-laying ability? Well nowadays we blast in the sound of child laughter to keep them laying around the clock. That particular laughter is from my own daughter, I recorded it especially.

MM: A family business in the truest sense!

DI: So the child laughter is to help the santa lay, but I imagine it could help with their wellbeing and merriment too?

BM: To a small degree, yes. Unfortunately when we first started, suicide was a problem. There’s something about being locked in a cage and forced to lay eggs that seemed to make them just give up. They were happier if we allowed them to produce toys in a small wood workshop, but that cut into egg-laying time. We realised the quickest and easiest way to keep their merriment levels high was to give them sherry, which we now administer intravenously.

MM: What is that multicoloured sludge the santas are eating?

BM: Ah, well we prepare a special nutritious, creamy trifle that is pumped into the troughs running along in front of the santa cages. It contains all the vitamins and minerals they need, including an extra large dose of vitamin D, since the santas never see actual sunlight.

DI: Sounds delicious.

MM: How long do these santas tend to live?

BM: Well, our santas are alive from July right up until the end of December. The facility closes down in January and thus to optimise profitability we cull 97% of the santas by roasting them on a gigantic pyre. Since Santa Eggs PLC. is committed to the environment, we like to offset our carbon footprint by using the ashes from composted santas to grow organic Christmas trees to furnish your home during next year’s festive consumption cycle.

DI: Fantastic. You’ve really thought of everything!

MM: Your daughter must be very proud of how far things have progressed since that first jolly santa of her childhood.

BM: Well, that’s a bit of a difficult issue actually.

She went off to university last year and joined one of these animal rights groups. We don’t entirely see eye-to-eye about intensive santa farming.

Which is a shame, I did have hopes of her joining me here one day. We haven’t talked for what must be...

DI: I’m sorry to interrupt. That is a shame.

But all this talk of Santa Eggs has made me ravenous! Can we go? I think I can smell the gift shop.

MM: Yes. Well, thank you Bernard Manberger for letting us see inside your wonderful factory.

It’s been lovely.

BM: The pleasure’s been all mine. Thank you, Your Holiness, and Doctor Icke...

MM: So there you have it! Next time any readers of The Skinny see a lorry-load of shivering santas being transported down the motorway, they’ll know a bit more about where they’re going, and how they’re cared for. A fascinating look inside one of the UK’s fastest growing industries.

GET YOUR BOX OF SANTA EGGS AT WWW.THEMYSTICMARK.COM/SANTAEGGS

DECEMBER 2012

THE SKINNY 71