The Skinny Student Handbook 2011

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MUSIC | FILM | CLUBS | PERFORMANCE | TECH| BOOKS | COMEDY | ART | FASHION |TRAVEL| LISTINGS

43 A Guide to Flatmates www.theskinny.co.uk

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Tourist Tatt

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A Brief History of Narcotics on Campus Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 3

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Bard Education

ILLuStRatIon: JaMIe SHaW

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17 Rogue’s Gallery: A Guide to Art

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The Skinny [δə 'skinē]: journalistic slang from the 1930s; the scoop, the buzz, the inside story

Editorial

As editor of this year’s Skinny Student Handbook, I made lots of tough decisions. I wondered whether new students – hiya, by the way – would bother reading a feature recounting the piss-drunk misadventures of older musicians, dispensing avuncular advice that you’ll likely completely ignore anyway.

It’s not like you’ve not had practice.

Similarly, I pondered the wisdom of including a guide to some of Scotland’s most inspiring and thought-provoking outlets for creative writing, given the avalanche of textbooks and journals already bullet-pointed on your reading list.

Other decisions required less thought.

Our art gallery guide is your one-stop, off-license shop to necking a lakeful of cheap booze (there is the art, of course, but try not to show your hand too early by launching into pissed-up proselytisation of psuedo-critique, pitching yourself as Gauguin’s gift to art history; nobody likes ‘that guy’), and our clubbing and music guides are essential reading should you wish to encounter the envy-stricken glances of your peers as you whip out your Gallagher-free iTunes playlist.

Toughest of all, though, was resisting the urge to draw a cock on the handbook.

As you have doubtless discovered - and as we allude to on page 24 - genitals are easy and fun to draw. But therein lies the trouble. Doing things that are easy and fun all of the time (and you can extend this principle to going out on the lash, sleeping until 2pm, patching lectures, and daytime television marathons) can have a degenerative effect on the quality and substance of your educational experience. Before you know it, four years will

have gone by and you’ll likely feel rather unfulfilled. Or just thick.

As university has become a more popular avenue for bright young things to pursue their dreams and aspirations, so the cock quotient has increased among the student body too, many of whom do things that are easy and fun to excess, and emerge out the other end with a barely-deserved 2:1 and a Hindenbergsized sense of self.

A large number of students, as you’ll observe over time, are hardly the heirs apparent to a cultural heritage carried by any university with a decent library. In the shade of this year’s student protests in London, most students who presented themselves for media vox pops came off as dishearteningly aimless, wearing half of their trust funds as their blunderbussing analysis of the socio-political landscape (corporations, boooo; Lib Dems, boooo-hissss) revealed itself to an equally overbearing baby boomer generation predictably disinclined to agree. This seems, increasingly, to be the dominant media narrative too: the ignorant, self-entitled dolt who, in the process of earning a degree, opts out of learning anything beyond what’s plastered onto ‘WebCT’. If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry – you’ll be best friends in no time, or certainly better friends than anyone you’ll meet on Fresher’s Week.

Mirth and irreverence have always been more effective instruments of change than the earnest hectoring that I’ve just been spouting (sorry, that bit’s over now), and I suppose that’s the overarching aim of this handbook: to make you think a bit, by taking the piss out of things that are worth knocking down a peg.

We could have offered much, much more in the way of well-meaning advice, but learning’s always more fulfilling and meaningful when you discover it for yourself. Especially via stupid, mindless, traffic cone-laden mistakes.

University affords you the luxury of being a dick now and then, so enjoy it.

Just don’t abuse the privilege.

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Editor: Ray Philp Design: Lewis MacDonald Production Manager: Peter Marsden Head of Sales: Lara Moloney Marketing Executive: Michaela Hall Subeditors: Marcus Kernohan, Ray Philp Staff Writers: Chris Buckle, Andrew Cattanach, Alex Cole, Jamie Dunn, Ana Hine, Dave Kerr, Sophie Kyle, David McGinty, Paul Mitchell, Eddie Nisbet, Ray Philp, Fearghus Roulston, Renée Rowland, Anna Seale, Gareth K Vile, Neal Wallace Venue Writers: Adeline Amar, Catriona Hepburn, Erica Kirk, Sandra Juncu, Chris McCall, Rowena McIntosh, Jennifer Owen, Susannah Radford, Ben Robinson, Fearghus Roulston, Amy Taylor, Neal Wallace, Joe A D Wilson Illustrators: Eleanor Hodesdon, Essi Kimpimäki, Jamie Shaw Cover Illustration: Kerry Hyndman Photographers: Ed Fraser, Kat Gorlock, Peter Simpson, Lara Moloney, Martin Barker, Solen Collet, Sally Jubb The Skinny HQ Editor: Rosamund West Publisher: Sophie Kyle Contact us: e hello@theskinny.co.uk t 0131 467 4630 Published by: Radge Media Ltd, Registered in Scotland, Company number SC 310052, Registered address: 3 Coates Place, Edinburgh EH3 7AA Every effort has been made to check the accuracy of the information in this publication, but the publisher cannot accept liability for information which is inaccurate.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without the explicit written permission of the publisher. The views and opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the printer or publisher. www.theskinny.co.uk

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Contents 8 Skinny On Tour

A section where friends and readers take our magazine to all corners of the earth in a shameless self-promotional exercise.

10 A Guide to Why Everyone Hates You

You might have gathered that students aren’t popular with the tax-payer. What could they possibly have against you?

12 Porn Cocktail

Ethically-sourced naked boys and girls, plus pro-tips on where to find them.

14 Poster Boy

That crumpled Tupac poster of yours won’t cut it in halls, homeboy.

17 Rogue’s Gallery

Where exhibitions offer an excellent excuse to drain your alcohol of liver.

18 Glory Days

We harass three (relatively) wizened Scottish musicians to talk of all-night benders of their student days.

20 Hall’s Kitchen

Fine cuisine using nothing but the finest ingredients: powder-activated noodles and luncheon meat.

22 Beat Generation

If your Spotify playlist looks a bit patchy, then feel free to heed our sagacious guide to our favourite bands and DJs.

24 Itchy & Scratchy

One man’s graphic account of sexless paranoia at the GUM clinic, and why you shouldn’t put it off

26 Bard Education

You’ve never read bog poetry as insightful as this.

28 Shoot ‘Em Up

Crystal meth wishes it was as addictive as Xbox; we pick up our joysticks and show you how to play nice with your Live account.

30 Philosophers Stoned

Many people seem to think that students smoke/snort/swallow stuff that they shouldn’t. We disentangle the myth from the reality.

32 Winter of Discotheque

‘It doesn’t matter where you go, as long as you’re with mates’: bollocks.

34 Much Ado About Acting

A thorough topography of Scottish theatre at its daring and most provocative.

38 The Graduate

Actors, directors and film critics share their formative celluloid experiences.

43 The Lives of Others

You’ll grow to hate all of your flatmates, even if you’re BFF bbz. We break down your potential flatmates in a binary, vaguely misanthropic manner.

46 Tourist Tatt

A tattoo always look better when they’ve been done abroad, which automatically gives it a backstory. Backstories are cool.

48 Gap Yah

Done the right way, an extended break can be fun and rewarding, but don’t go thinking that dreadlocks and a few beads are substitute for transcendental experience.

50 Quality Press

Loads of essays, loads of deadlines: not the best environment for creative writing, but we know of a few student-run journals that offer an outlet.

52 Costume Drama

Your first fashion dilemma won’t be what to wear for fresher’s week (you’ll ruin that Topshop dress, btw), but your inaugural fancy dress party. We throw some ideas your way.

55 Venues Guide

Venues of all stripes - bars, clubs, galleries, cinemas, theatres and such – worth visiting in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee, whether they be established student haunts or things off the beaten track.

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Font of Wisdom: Guest Contributors

David McGinty David is a film journalist who, having spent his “formative years being forced to play outside”, has spent his twenties in dimly lit rooms. You can find David’s writing gracing Lost In Film, the Edinburgh Reporter and on our very own pages.

Neal Wallace & Fearghus Roulston Fearghus and Neal are recent MA Journalism graduates from Edinburgh Napier, and co-edit a culture and current affairs blog called Samizdat (samizdatpress.co.uk). Moreoever, they’re featured together here because they’re a lovely couple (of lads).

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Renée Rowland Renée has written for The Skinny for a long time, mainly for the books section.

Amongst her hobbies, she lists running marathons in the Middle East, which is genuinely impressive.

Michael Pedersen Michael Pedersen, who kindly helmed our Bard Education feature, is a writer, poet and events organiser, who comes in the form of “a flurry haired mancub.” He runs Neu! Reekie!, a monthly night of “avantgarde poetry, music and film fusions with a frantic creative cabaret style.”

Kerry Hyndman Kerry is an illustrator who lives in South East London. She spent four years covered in oil paint at Newcastle, and then went to Switzerland to get covered in snow, before moving back to London to become a freelance illustrator. We asked her to do our cover, and we hope you’re as pleased with the results as we are.

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Skinny On Tour The Skinny has been busy enjoying its own gap year for the last 12 months.

We've compiled our favourite snaps which, for the sake of posterity, do not include fluorescent buckets of Thai cocktails or anybody spooning a gutter

Rosamund (Barcelona, Spain): Our National cover does its best impression of...well, us, as it steadfastly refuses to tan in 10 0F heat .

Ber trand (S tockholm, Sweden): King Gustav Adolf spor ts a silly/regal hat .

Kelly (South Carolina, US): That's either a water tower, or the world's largest tof fee apple.

Ana (Colombia): Locals are unimpressed with our subversive at tempt to plug Bif f y Clyro.

Adeline (Chicago, US): We passively sur vey Chicago's troubling environmental issues.

Lewis (Dublin, Ireland): Guinness takes hold of Lewis' senses as he posts a copy of the Skinny sans stamp.

Christina's mate (Santorini, Greece): This has had more competition entries than anything else we've ever published on the website, ever. We've nicknamed this photo Pierre's Pfantasy Club ('Mystery Guuuuurrrl'), since we don't know who this is.

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Adeline's mate (Berlin, Germany): We have no idea what her name is, but any friend of Adeline's is a friend of ours.

Ally (Seoul, South Korea): Ally makes like a local and completely ignores the scener y around him. Must be from Edinburgh.

Dave ( Tunis, Tunisia): Our beleaguered music editor Dave still can't escape his work .

Truman (Los Angeles, US): This is Truman the dog in L A . We swear to Christ this isn't Photoshopped.

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Illustration: Essi Kimpimäki

A Guide to Why Everyone Hates You

10 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

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Wont as we are to reach out an avuncular arm, clasp you just a little too tightly to our Old Spice scented bosom and tell you of the grand adventure of higher education ahead, we are duty-bound to do the in loco parentis bit with less hugging and more ‘straighttalk’ that begins with ‘at the end of the day, yeah?’ and ends with a paternity test result.

Outwith the bubble of sensorynumbing euphoria that is Fresher’s Week, you’ll soon find that the only adults that seem to have any time for you are carrying fliers or clipboards. The rest of them, I’m afraid, won’t carry so much as a cold sore for you, and consider you to be scum of the hygiene refusenik, pissing-on-poppies, sock-wank variety.

Time for some home truths, kids.

crack, viagra and Pro Plus (usually only to find windmills, with boyfriends who play rugby and possess fists like bowling balls) is enough to drive the Daily Mail reading public to apoplexy.

Facebook A fetid pit of hyperlink trash, woes-me status updates, self-aggrandising arseholes, corporate spam, homogenous photo albums labelled ‘random’ with unwitting irony, and a sea of ‘friends’ that you never speak to.

And you agree, but it’s still your homepage, isn’t it?

Daytime television A student’s typical televisual diet consists of laughing at the poor (Jeremy Kyle) and food porn (Come Dine With Me), most of which is completely unattainable because it’s made from food grown from the ground, and not mystery powder. So, if it follows that TV is the medium of aspiration, then it seems that contemporary undergraduates dream of being fat Tory wankers. So much for idealism.

Illustration: Essi Kimpimäki

Hair Youth – and any signifier of such – is wasted on the young, and this is especially true of hair. By the time you figure out that basting your dome with

Deepwater Horizon-grade hairgel makes you look like an endangered flamingo, you’ll be a 37 year old IT infrastructure manager with a wacky dolphin tie wondering how all that hair straightening and conditioner-shunning hasn’t prolonged your thinning plumage.

Protest Once upon a time, protest was something to be taken seriously by governments of the day. Suffragettes, miners, trade unions, pro-democracy movements and the rest rallied against contemptible state policies. Skyrocketing tuition fees are similarly deplorable, but frankly, if the Children of the Future reckon that a game of fireman’s frisbee is the way to go about it, then the Aldi graduate scheme is too good for you.

Sex Another reason why most adults hate you is that they think you’ll be having lots of sex. Whether this is true or not is entirely besides the point, since even the vague impression that you’ll be charging about like Don Quixote on a cocktail of

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Porn Cocktail: A Guide to Pornography

PHOTO: Jürgen Schiller García

Skinny Deviance editor Ana Hine challenges preconceived ideas of pornography as anti-feminist construct, and outlines some basic ethical issues before you begin your onanism odyssey

I don’t believe porn is misogynistic.

The rule of thumb I use when choosing which piece of pornography to watch is whether the people (or person) involved look like they’re having fun. Amateur porn is by far the best place to find this kind of pornography. YouPorn and RedTube are two excellent free sources.

They both contain a mix of professional and amateur videos but it’s pretty easy to differentiate between the two.

In terms of professional versus amateur porn, the benefits of amateur porn - people actually having sex instead of performing sex, a more realistic reflection of the bodies and sexual practices of people, smiling - far outweighs the shoddy camera work. Which is why there’s been a rise of ‘professional amateur’ videos, where amateur footage has been collected into one place.

Concerns about misogyny can be further addressed by paying for porn that you like. The bi-directional causal loop of industry and consumers will ensure that if you pay for something, it’s more likely that similar products will be made.

So support the porn you like. If we use consumer power to show the industry that we want porn with happy, smiling, sexually fulfilled people then we’re more likely to get it. However, the abundance of good, free porn means that unless you have particularly strong feelings about the issue it’s not going to affect your viewing happiness too much.

On an ethical level, if an actual crime has been committed in the process of production, then by consuming the final product you become complicit. Sex trafficking, underage prostitution and rape are all problems that affect the porn industry. If you start watching a video, or reading a website and realise the actors or models look too young, look scared, look ill, or even look bored then leave the site or turn off the video. It’s pretty easy to discern whether something is dodgy.

You can report sites to the Internet Watch Foundation at www.iwf.org.uk.

The radical feminist Andrea Dworkin once said that men learn about women through porn, that even the best men are influenced some way by it.

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I would answer that women can unconsciously believe what pornography teaches about men too: that they only care about their own orgasm, that they are selfish lovers, that they don’t know how to eat a girl out. This isn’t necessarily true, but it’s worth recognising the different things we might be learning from porn about sex, sexuality and each other. And recognising the difference between sex in porn and sex in real life (although you hardly need to be told that).

The idea that porn influences our sex lives can be seen in the rise of anal sex among heterosexual couples, which has gone from being a shameful or ‘deviant’ act to a mainstream occurrence. No bad thing in my opinion. There are some less positive results of pornography, but that’s for another article.

Overall though, I like porn. It has a lot of problems but none of them are insurmountable. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our consumption of it, but we should be aware of the ethical issues underlying our choices. Watch good porn and the porn will get better. www.theskinny.co.uk

Hobgoblin, Deuchars IPA & Guest Ale Addlestones Premium Cloudy Cider 20% Student Discount on all food, all September Including Our Famous “Big Nachos” Metal, Punk and Goth Jukebox

www.theauldhoose.co.uk 23-25 St. Leonard’s Street, Edinburgh EH8 9QN

Illustration: Alasdair Boyce

Interviews, reviews, previews, listings and more online

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W ww .t h e s k i n n y. c o . u k

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Poster Boy: A Guide to DIY Decor

Wallpaper, paintbrush, paint, rollers: who needs those? David McGinty presents some carefully-sourced posters to offer you some inspiration for your boudoir/opium den You’ve just moved into your new room at the halls of residence; you’ve waved goodbye to Mum and Dad; lined up your brand new George Foreman grill beside three others in the shared kitchen, and now you’re staring at four blank bedroom walls. The question is, how do you cheaply furnish your new bedroom/ gallery space whilst expressing your individuality? Lots of posters, obviously.

With the entire student body trawling the city’s numerous poster rails for the image that best represents their unique personality, posters are the perfect conduit through which to distinguish yourself

from your new peers, and quickly discern the type of people with whom you wish to spend the next few years. To help you make this distinction, we’ve searched far and wide [We spent ten minutes in HMV - Ed.] to highlight some archetypal student posters to get you started.

The Pseudo-Rebel: Che Guevara The classic student poster in all its glory. If you want to appear at all political, without having to involve yourself with much in the way of politics, simply brandishing this image on any item of clothing, flag, banner, or – of

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course – poster, affords the individual instant revolutionary status. Hang it with a demeanour of superiority and unexplainable smugness for maximum effect. For extra revolutionary points, try not washing for a year.

The Bandwagon Jumper: Back to the Future It’s great when you discover that you and your new friends down at the union share the same love for a certain film.

But isn’t it strange that it’s always the same movies? ‘You love The Goonies?

I love The Goonies!’; ‘You love The Big Lebowski? I love The Big Lebowski!’ To be www.theskinny.co.uk

fair, those films are awesome, but choose your film poster wisely, and be prepared to quote from said film extensively over the next few years. The last thing you want is for someone to think you’re faking it. Sure, you weren’t alive when Back to the Future was released, but Urban Outfitters had this on one of their walls beside your new favourite Smiths LP and the plastic camera for which you haven’t been able to find film.

The Lairy Student: Beer Beer makes up approximately half of the student experience (though this is a fact I have just made up). Without it, half of the terrible decisions you’ll make wouldn’t have been made; half the 10s you hooked up with would be 5s, half of freshers’ week would have been 50% less blurry, and a diesel would be a cider and cordial… and who would want that?

Hang this one proudly above the shelf, waning under the strain of every beer can you’ve ever drank.

The Meathead Muso: Guns N’ Roses Band posters serve a similar purpose as film posters, so, as above, be prepared.

Ensure you have your ‘favourite band’s’

DY FOR £2 NEW COME ondays :M Edinburgh uesdays Glasgow: T

entire back catalogue on your iPod and not just a couple of tracks (or, heaven forbid, their greatest hits collection). This example is of Guns N’ Roses, though the same applies to all bands and artists, from Justin Bieber to Judas Priest. You spent most of your time at high school scribbling this band logo on every square inch of your jotter, textbook, bag, desk, arm, etc. So it might as well adorn your new abode. Hopefully this will keep you from emblazing it onto your skin.

The Arthouse Cinephile: James Dean You’ve found your new local arthouse cinema, joined the film society, and engaged in a Truffaut vs. Godard argument in the union with the boy or girl you fancy with the scarf and stripey top. But something’s missing. Ah yes, it’s an old black and white poster of your favourite screen idol along with a classic quote extolling the virtues of living your life the way you choose. Inspiring, affirming, and handy since it has his name printed on the bottom. Now you can scorn at anyone who walks into your room and says: “Oh! Nice poster. I love Jude Law!”

T H E

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7 nights

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Rogue’s Gallery: A Guide to Art

Image: Kathryn Rodger

Whether Contemporary or Classical, art struggles with an illdeserved reputation for being aloof and inaccessible; Andrew Cattanach proves that good art needn’t be, ahem, ‘dry’

Generator Projects 25-26 Mid Wynd Industrial Estate, Dundee

This artist-run gallery is perhaps one of the most welcoming in Scotland. It’s like going to your favourite auntie’s house for lunch and being fed hundreds of pure nice cakes that mummy won’t let you have. Only, there are rarely any cakes and instead you have to settle for Stella Artois and loads of good art.

Dundee Contemporary Arts 152 Nethergate, Dundee

Often laying on buses from Glasgow and Edinburgh, there’s no legitimate reason for missing a DCA opening. Expect great art alongside great-flavoured booze, and undoubtedly a cheeky wee party afterwards. Dundee might be the little sister to Glasgow and Edinburgh, but it knows how to throw a party.

SWG3 100 Eastvale Place, Glasgow

This massive gallery someway off the beaten track is well worth a visit.

With an excellent reputation for showing www.theskinny.co.uk

cutting-edge art, it is also a venue for gigs and raves. So, when the free booze runs out you can head upstairs and hit the dance floor, or listen to bands you’re unlikely to find on your iPod. David Dale Gallery and Studios 71-73 Brook Street, Glasgow

An artist-run space, David Dale Gallery might feel a little out of the way, but once you’re there you’ll find little reason to move on. With a seemingly endless supply of booze, and no residential neighbours, you can easily spend all night here, getting piss-pants drunk with fellow east-end reprobates.

The Duchy 23/25 Duke Street, Glasgow

This small gallery just east of the city centre fills up quickly, so make sure you get there early and beat the beer rush.

Showcasing young talent, the gallery is a recent addition to the Glasgow art scene.

Don’t be put off if everyone there seems to know each other – they’re pretending and are in fact as clueless as you.

Superclub 11a Gayfield Square, Edinburgh

Smaller than your average bathroom, Superclub is a newcomer in the thriving Edinburgh art scene. Showing work by young artists, it reflects the capital’s penchant for colourful art and vibrant illustration, blurring boundaries while you get blurry vision.

Rhubaba 25 Arthur Street, Edinburgh

This oddly shaped gallery near Leith Walk is nothing to look at from the outside, but is an intriguing warren of studios on the inside. With a bar tucked away at the back, and little opportunity to see the work when busy, there’s really no excuse to do anything other than get bevvied here.

The Collective 22-28 Cockburn Street, Edinburgh

On the go since 1984, Collective gallery is best known for its New Work Scotland programme that gives recent graduates the opportunity to develop their work in a professional context. Openings are busy, offering beer from the posher end of the spectrum.

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Glory Days:

A Muso’s Guide to Inebriation Dave Kerr talks to the frontmen from three of Scotland’s finest modern rock bands, who recall the liver-despoiling triumphs of their student years

“

Stay in school!

You booze you lose! Don't join a band!

” PHOTO: WES KINGSTON

JAMES GRAHAM

James Graham (The Twilight Sad) Studied Video Editing and Web Design at Stow College Where was your favourite boozer as a student?

I didn’t really have one pub that was my favourite (as I love all pubs) but I always ended up in Nice N Sleazy and still do these days. Looking back, I was in Wetherspoons far too often, due it being the cheapest and it being open earlier than any other pub, 11am if I remember correctly. I’m not fussy to be honest, if it’s cheap I’m there.

Your poison of choice?

I’ll go for a pint of cider first and if I’m in a classy establishment I’ll move onto the Buckfast. My poison hasn’t changed and my pallet hasn’t matured over the years.

Tell us about a particularly memorable drunken misadventure from those days...

I went to the cinema to see the

remake of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on my own, 100% pished, and spewed in my popcorn at 1pm instead of going to class.

Proud of yourself now?

Reading back, I’ve not given a great impression of myself. I drink buckfast in Wetherspoons at 11am until going to the cinema on my own, then spew on confectionery in the afternoon. The answer is ‘No, I’m not proud of myself.’

What advice would you give to your younger, freshman self?

Stay in school! You booze you lose!

Don’t join a band! thetwilightsadblog.blogspot.com

Scott Hutchison (Frightened Rabbit) Studied Visual Communication at Glasgow School of Art Your favourite student boozer?

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I was studying up at the Art School, so the (now retired) Vic Bar was a cheap and obvious choice.

Your poison of choice?

‘Poison’ is the right word, ‘choice’ is not. As Tennent’s was usually little more than a pound in there, we’d all just go with that by default. It was quite a uniquely bad pint in that you could feel the hangover commencing before you had even left the bar.

Any memorable drunken misadventures to report?

I do recall the night/morning that some of us blasted a BBC sound effects album out of a window into the courtyard of the halls of residence. Ghosts, trains, frogs... Probably quite alarming at 4am.

Proud of yourself?

I’m welling up...

Any advice for your younger self?

I wouldn’t bother with advice. The wee prick wouldn’t listen to me anyway. www.facebook.com/frightenedrabbit

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a guy in “Iastole wheelchair from a bus stop...

”Rick Anthony Rick Anthony (The Phantom Band) Studied English with Film Studies at Aberdeen University Your favourite student boozer?

The Aberdeen Uni Student’s Union was good for getting drunk on about £4.50. Also it had about five bars and two nightclubs, so you could cram a whole night out into the one building. I worked there for a while too which meant you could get blind drunk and go home with more money than you left the house with. It went bankrupt a few years back which was a shame. The Mudd Club was a great night-out for after the pub. Sticky carpets, piss soaked walls and

vodka shots for 50p. Mmmmm...

After a couple of years we started going to the old man boozers but whenever we found one we liked we’d go back the next week and find it had been turned into a chrome-clad winebar nightmare.

Your poison of choice?

It was all about speed and ease of consumption. No-one drank for pleasure.

I drank a lot of vodka in those days; cheap vodka was easier to drink than cheap whisky and the hangovers were more manageable. Also long vodkas.

Remember them? Eech, shameful.

Any memorable drunken misadventures to report?

Starting a pie and doughnut riot at 3am outside the 24 hour bakery; stealing a guy in a wheelchair from a bus stop (I put him back so it’s okay); getting into a fight because I told a guy he looked like Axl Rose. It’s the adventures you can’t remember that really haunt you though. I’m still trying to find 12 hours that were stolen from me by a skinful of 25p tequila shots...

Proud of yourself?

I don’t know... probably not.

Any advice for your younger self?

Get a haircut – you look like an ugly girl. And stop being such a dick. Then I’d just punch myself in the face. www.phantomband.co.uk

“

I do recall the night/ morning that some of us blasted a BBC sound effects album out of a window...

”

PHOTO: WES KINGSTON

SCOTT HUTCHISON

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Illustration: Essi Kimpimäki

Halls’ Kitchen: A Guide to Cooking

Neal Wallace puts on his apron to show you how best to Jamie Oliver the shit out of your last packet of Supernoodles The student diet gets a bad rap – and it’s true that food is not exactly a priority when you’ve got important drinking to do. But you needn’t eat badly; cooking can actually be fun, and cheap if you do it right. Here are a few recipes using those ubiquitous student staples: Supernoodles, baked beans and Spam, made into meals that won’t give you the boke. Hopefully.

Chinese Supernoodles Soup No matter what flavour a packet of Supernoodles promises you, it all tastes like soft plastic. Put it to better use as a base ingredient for something that tastes like, y’know, food.

Ingredients yy Sunflower oil

yy One chicken breast yy Half a litre of chicken stock (or water) yy Tablespoon cornflour mixed with a little stock or water (optional) yy One pack of Supernoodles (any flavour, they all taste about the same) yy Half a tin of sweetcorn (use the other half for something arts and crafts based) yy One egg, beaten like a ginger stepchild yy A few spring onions, chopped yy Soy sauce Cut the chicken into strips, or cubes, or alphabet shapes. Heat a little oil in a saucepan, and fry the chicken for a few minutes. Add the stock (or water) and cornflour (if using). Stir and bring to the boil, then add your Supernoodles, that weird little sachet and the sweetcorn.

Simmer for about 10 minutes, or until the

20 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

chicken is cooked. Then reduce the heat to almost nothing, stir in the egg, some spring onions and soy sauce to taste.

Boston Baked Beans This is the kind of recipe that would appear in an overpriced Jamie Oliver book, with some smug introduction telling you all about his life-changing travels round America, full of irritating Jamie words like ‘humdinger’ and ‘wicked’.

Ingredients yy Two cans of baked beans (Preferably organic and really expensive) yy One packet smoked bacon (Preferably from a really rare pig) yy Small bottle of chilli sauce yy One large onion, chopped yy About 200g (two cups) of soft brown www.theskinny.co.uk

sugar yy Breadcrumbs yy Cheese, grated (your favourite cheese.

Me, I like Serbian Pule, made from Balkan Donkey milk) Heat your oven up to about 175 degrees. Heat a frying pan and throw your bacon in. Fry it up until crisp, then crumble it with your beans, chilli sauce (to taste), onion and sugar into a large ovenproof dish. Shove it in your oven for about 45 minutes, or until it’s nice and thick and all the flavours have combined.

Top it with your cheese and breadcrumbs and bake for another 15 minutes, or until it’s gone all crispy and cheesy. Publicly declare your support for Barack Obama, even though you know nothing about American politics. Enjoy.

Spicy Spam Kebabs If you’ve ever seen that Monty Python sketch, you’ll know that Spam is not much of a delicacy. It is, however, far cheaper than buying lamb, pork or chicken. A clever trick, and this goes for all cheap meat, is to mask the flavour of

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it with herbs and spices. If you have a disposable BBQ handy, then even better.

Ingredients yy Four bamboo skewers, soaked in water for at least half an hour yy A tablespoon of olive oil yy A teaspoon each of the following: yy Allspice; dried thyme; nutmeg; ginger; cumin yy A red chilli, finely chopped yy A mixture of red, green and yellow peppers, and a red onion chopped into chunks yy A can of Spam yy Salt and pepper Chop the spam into the same sized chunks as the peppers and onion, then combine all the ingredients (apart from the skewers) into a big bowl and sit in the fridge for a couple of hours to marinate.

Fire up the BBQ, or grill if it’s raining (which it definitely will be) then heat your grill up to a high heat. Thread your Spam, peppers and onion alternately onto the skewers. Cook for 8-10 minutes, until the peppers are a bit charred. Serve with some kind of salad and some yoghurt.

Can’t taste any of the Spam, promise.

“

A clever trick, and this goes for all cheap meat, is to mask the flavour with herbs and spices

”

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 21

PHOTO: Charlotte Rodenstedt

PHOTO: EUAN ROBERTSON

A Guide to Music

Beat Generation:

Bronto Sk ylif t

Frightened Rabbit

Find a desk, sit down and pay attention to The Skinny’s indispensible Scottish music 101, as told by Chris Buckle Writing a guide to Scottish university life is simple: drink whatever’s cheapest, eat whatever revives you after a night spent drinking whatever’s cheapest, and listen to…er, actually, you’d better take a seat.

Obviously, The Skinny will act as your monthly guide to the ins and outs of Scotland’s musical tributaries, but consider this your 101 class. Unfortunately, there are approximately one million billion acts to choose from and only two pages to squeeze them in to, so we’ll stick to those likely to visit your university town of choice in the coming year; the solo artists, DJs, bands and MCs who’ll be sitting right up front in your nostalgia banks when you’re old and boring.

Let’s address the elephants in the room right off the bat: big-hitters like Mogwai, Belle and Sebastian, Edwyn Collins and Sons and Daughters have all returned with new albums in the last twelve months, but you hardly need us to sell their merits (ditto Franz Ferdinand, beavering away on album four as we type).

Aidan Moffat’s sharp and maudlin wit is evergreen (most recently demonstrated on his superb collaboration with Bill Wells),

22 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

while smart money’s on Frightened Rabbit to eventually eclipse all the aforementioned in terms of popularity.

The Fence Collective also continue to provoke gushing praise for games both Home and Away, as well as the numerous smaller events staged by Johnny Lynch (a.k.a. The Pictish Trail), Kenny Anderson (a.k.a. King Creosote), and their growing musical family, ranging from James Yorkston to more recent inductees like Randolph’s Leap and The Last Battle.

Of those scheduled to return with new material, we’re most excited about The Twilight Sad’s forthcoming third full-length and the first fruits of Meursault’s new line-up. Already this year, debuts from nifty alt-rockers Copy Haho, skyscraping Aberdonians Indian Red Lopez, moody blues preachers Jacob Yates and the Pearly Gates Lock Pickers, sprightly noiseniks She’s Hit, and glitch-pop duo Conquering Animal Sound have garnered praise in our pages, as have King Post Kitsch’s Kinks-inflected pop-rock, The Douglas Firs’ rustic atmospherics and John B McKenna’s full-band guise Monoganon. www.theskinny.co.uk

Optimo

Stellar returns from countrygothic troubadours Sparrow and the Workshop, exuberant funky-punks Dananananaykroyd, dubstep pioneer Kode9 (whose Black Sun contains some of the year’s most excitingly abstruse sounds) and sleaze-core misfits Take a Worm For A Walk Week have had us equally animated for various reasons, while our ongoing appreciation of United Fruit and Found is corroborated by recent covers featuring their mugs.

Other names to watch out for include tipped instrumentalists Lady North, and the unassumingly-monikered Stanley Odd: if you crave hip-hop featuring lassies rather than hos and rhymes about Snapfax deals rather than crunk juice, they’re the MCs you’ve been looking for.

Elsewhere in Scotland’s nascent hip-hop scene, Church of When the Shit Hits the Fan are an altogether darker beast, with a tendency to unsettle the unwary.

If you like your live shows sweaty and heavy, Holy Mountain serve up Sabbath-sized riffs, while Bronto Skylift interject a more experimental bent that’ll keep you on your toes whilst leathering your eardrums. Ultimate Thrush will have you struggling for air and sanity as you dodge human projectiles in the pit, while Streets of Rage’s intense digital hardcore and www.theskinny.co.uk

PHOTO: Sam Brill PHOTO: Mads Perch

PHOTO: Steve Gullick

Mogwai

Dananananakroyd

Rustie

Divorce’s metal racket also get a firm seal of approval. If you’re looking to go heavier still, Cerebral Bore’s grindcore squall has impressed those in the know, but all that aggression isn’t good for you; balance it out with something twee and cheerful, such as loveable scamps Zoey Van Goey, or Spector-styled girl group revivalists The Belle Hops.

When it comes to clubs, don’t put your faith in the university union to lay down beats or you’ll end up suffering endless cheesy pop. Though their Sunday residency at the Sub Club has been retired, Wilkes and Twitch continue to mix as Optimo, while Taz Buckfaster’s adventures in bass are garnering ever-growing buzz. Also inspiring dance breakouts, Ben Butler and Mousepad present eccentric synth-based fusions, Dam Mantle specialises in wonky, syncopated collages, while Rustie’s arrival on leftfield music mecca Warp (along with Hudson Mohawke) confirms Scotland’s producer pedigree.

Our page space is almost exhausted, and we’ve still to mention Withered Hand’s tragi-comic alt-folk, Remember Remember’s prog symphonies and Wounded Knee’s loops and drones, but nonetheless we’ve made our point: whatever you’re in to, there’s much to discover. Enjoy the journey.

“

The solo artists, DJs, bands and MCs who'll be sitting right up front in your nostalgia banks when you're old and boring

”

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 23

Itchy & Scratchy: A Guide to Sexual Health Clinics

ILLuStRatIon: eLeanoR HodeSdon

Serial shagger Eddie Nisbet recounts the first of his many, many visits to the GUM clinic.

You'd do well to follow his example (though not his questionable lifestyle choices)

Opera. Worth a second look.

Get £10 tix if you’re under 26. Any seat. Any performance.

scottishopera.org.uk The Barber of Seville • Hansel & Gretel • The Rake’s Progress • Tosca 24 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

Registered in Scotland Number SCO37531 Scottish Charity Number SCO19787 Registered Office: 39 Elmbank Crescent, Glasgow G2 4PT

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sinCe Most students have an infinitesimal respect for chastity (or, at least the ones that you know - ed.), it’s likely that the first time it occurs to you to visit a GuM clinic is the ill-omened day you find some discharge escaping from your genitals, or that time you got too drunk and bedded the campus sex pest who has given more clap than a performing seal in a live studio audience. Some believe, due to ribald canteen conjecture, that only pain and humiliation awaits you at the clinic. If you happen to believe this, then you'd do well to read on.

Plucking up the courage to go in the first place is half the battle. after the mild embarrassment of having to complete a form riddled with brutally up-front questions regarding your lasciviousness, you are invited to endure a lengthy, clammy-palmed wait to be ‘seen to’. during this period, calm yourself by scoffing inwardly at the cabaret show of 16 year old bra-less britneys and guiltridden couples hoping that they haven’t inadvertently converged their ill-gotten genes into a soon-to-be giro-siphoning

Sept-Oct 2011

eusalive.co.uk Zane has fast become one of the most respected Radio DJs in the UK. His Radio 1 show has grown to be one of the most sought after slots for a band to be plugged on.

serial killer. that this scene will almost certainly await you at your nearest clinic is reason enough to get tested, because if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for you. the check-up itself is significantly less painful and degrading than you might fear: a blood and urine sample combined with a brief, physical once-over is sufficient for the boys, whereas the provision of a smear sample is as horrendous as it gets for girls. now, walk out through the waiting room and put on a composed and stern “I don’t have aIdS” face. the wait for your results is admittedly nervy, but nothing is as painful as the deliberately inserted dramatic pause the automated results service taunts you with. It’s ok when Chris tarrant does it, but when you’re waiting to find out whether you have Hepatitis C it’s a bit irresponsible.

So, what did I learn? It’s better to have a stranger coldly and unaffectionately prod at your genitals for five minutes (because it’s doubtless happened before) than to endure the indignity of informing

“

after the milD embarraSSment of having to complete a form riDDleD with brutally up-front QueStionS, you are inviteD to enDure a lengthy wait to be 'Seen to'

”

every single person you have come into sexual contact with that you are a dirty, rotten disease bag and that it is solely because of you that it burns like hell every time they urinate.

Edinburgh University Students’ Association events are open to ALL STUDENTS.

Futureheads are a 4 piece postpunk revival band.

Their 4 highly charted studio albums contain singles like ‘Hound of Love’, ‘Decent Days and Nights’, ‘The Beginning of the Twist’ and ‘Heartbeat Song’ .

Fri 30 September 8pm Potterrow £10 | £8 students

Sun 23 October 9pm The Venue, Potterrow £6 (Students)

Ways to Book Online: www.eusalive.co.uk Phone: 0131 650 4673 In Person: Teviot, 13 Bristo Square, Edinburgh EH8 9AJ Teviot Box Office opening hours: Mon – Sat 11am – 7pm | Sun 12pm – 5pm

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 24/08/2011 13:41:34 25

Bard Education

Student toilets are a unique tile-and-mirror canvas for desultory scrawls that convey sleaze, silliness, insight, bawbag insults, and sometimes, something a bit more anti-establishment. We sent Neu! Reekie! to the Teviot WCs with marker pens, magnets and crayons to pen some prose containing some or all of the above

Michael Pedersen and Kevin W illiamson etching their way into oblivion by way of face paints. Photo: Edmund Fraser

Untitled by Sandra Alland. Photo: Kat Gollock

26 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

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The Last Picture Show by Kevin W illiamson. Photo: EF

Over by Sandra Alland: Photo: KG

Assor ted limericks by Michael Pedersen and Amsterdam. Photo: EF

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We Could Have Been In Love If It Weren't For Your Father's Dreadful Opposition To My Shoes

by Sandra Alland. Photo: KG

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 27

Shoot ’Em Up A Guide to Xbox Live

Illustration: Jamie Shaw

Xbox addict Alex Cole gives you the lowdown on releasing your inner sociopath, from a darkened room in his parents’ basement

Hi there, impressionable gamer.

Welcome to Xbox Live!

We know this new and exciting frontier of gaming can be big and scary to the uninitiated, but we’re here to help get you mixing it up with barely literate 12 year old racists as soon as possible.

Here's the Skinny’s guide to Xbox Live, helping you to push all the right buttons (little video game humor there).

Step 1: Cough up £39.99. Sure, you just shelled out over 200 quid for the hardware, the games and the fancy headset, but we know you have a couple more 20s lying around. I’ll just wait until you go get ‘em.

Step 2: You’re in. Now you need to set up a Gamertag, which is a fancy word for a user name. It can be anything you like, so long as it isn’t racist, homophobic,

offensive, or hate speech, so this can take quite some time to think of.

Step 3: Start making friends. The best part of playing online is getting all the fun of having your mates over, without actually having them over and eating your pretzels. You may find some of the more experienced gamers will constructively comment on your skills, often by dropping their avatar’s crotch in your avatar’s face.

This kind of social interaction is how lasting friendships are made. There’s almost always a hate-spewing troglodyte in a multiplayer game, and if you don’t hear one, it’s you.

Step 4: We all love being rewarded, and Xbox Live makes this easy with in-game Achievements, proferring you all kinds of pointless things, and giving you Gamerscore points. These Gamerscore

28 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

points can buy you lots and lots of pride, and bragging rights. But not much else.

Still, there are years’ worth of YouTube videos walking you though every excruciating moment of achieving them.

Step 5: Do other stuff. A Live account isn’t just for gaming (though it’s mostly about gaming). You can use your Xbox to buy downloadable content, play music, update Facebook, watch Sky, watch YouTube, and even prepare dinner service for 8 (note: an Xbox will not prepare dinner service for 8). Some of this costs, some doesn’t, some of it means you have to be 18, some doesn’t, but the important thing is, it’s all there for you when you need a break from pushing buttons.

Now get out there and play your game-loving heart out. Not literally though. The NHS doesn’t cover that. www.theskinny.co.uk

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 29

A Brief History of Narcotics on Campus

Philosophers Stoned:

Illustration: Jamie Shaw

Fearghus Roulston muses on the indelible link between students and illicit highs As a young student, well-known misrerabilist and occasional novelist Franz Kafka wrote that “my peers, lately, have found companionship through means of intoxication – it makes them sociable. I, however, cannot force myself to use drugs to cheat on my loneliness – it is all that I have.” He didn’t get invited to all that many parties, I imagine. But the quote highlights the lasting nexus between drugs and hedonism and ‘the student lifestyle’. From every grotty flat adorned with Bob Marley posters and that awful rainbow-coloured marijuana sign, to every episode of Skins and every conversation I’ve ever had with truculent taxi-drivers about lazy student bastards smoking joints and spending the hardworking taxpayers’ money on hemp vests and Topman boxers, the connection between being a student and taking drugs is steadily reinforced.

There are practical aspects to this connection: being a student generally means

30 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

having more free time, more parties to go to, a wee bit of disposable income and a general lack of responsibility or work ethic. There’s an element of transgression too; like eating spaghetti hoops straight from the tin or sleeping until two in the afternoon, taking drugs is something your saintly mother would probably not approve of. Finally, it’s important to remember that a great deal of this chat is based on hoary clichés perpetuated by nonsense like Skins. Plenty of students are living more like Cliff Richards than Keith Richards, because drugs are expensive (allegedly) and increasingly the universal truth of student life is that you’ll spend most of it being totally skint.

Nevertheless, there’s no doubt that drugs and being a student are comprehensively entwined in the popular imagination, and this has historical precedent.

There’s the raucous boozing of students in the seventeenth and eighteenth century, when scholars of Trinity College Dublin www.theskinny.co.uk

rattling through the city’s taverns earned a reputation for violence and debauchery.

If you’ve been to temple bar recently you’ll have an idea of what this entailed. then there’s kerouac and Ginsberg and all that crowd ostensibly attending various Ivy League schools in the States whilst cultivating a taste for jazz and a broad selection of uppers and downers. but the most powerful cultural imprint of the link between students and drugs is the 1960s counter-culture movement in both the united States and the uk. For all its heterogeneity and its variety of aims and ideals, and for all the reams of academia written about it, the obvious image it brings to mind is students with long hair getting all kinds of high. timothy Leary, ken kesey and the Merry Pranksters, Hendrix, the Grateful dead – throughout the eight or so years when the counter-culture was at its peak, one of the clear threads running through its different aspects was the use of drugs. the pronouncements of commentators at the time mirror much of the moral panic about drug use today. Joan didion

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worried about children, barely teenagers, wasting their formative years in a careless, aimless narcotic haze. even Leary, the great evangelist of psychedelic drugs as a tool for expanding consciousness, was shocked at what he had started.

He argued that “acid is not for every brain... only the healthy, happy, wholesome, handsome, hopeful, humorous, high-velocity should seek these experiences. this elitism is totally self-determined. unless you are selfconfident, self-directed, self-selected, please abstain.” again, I don’t know if he got invited to all that many parties, but the way hard drug use turned countercultural optimism into a parody of itself suggests he might have had a point. the vim and political activism of the counter-culture have largely faded, but getting high remains an almost inescapable facet of the university experience.

If you go through three or four years of college or university without coming across drugs in some form you’re probably studying too hard. What’s important is to separate the insidious cultural memories

“

plenty of StuDentS are living more like cliff richarD than keith richarDS, becauSe DrugS are eXpenSive (allegeDly) anD you'll SpenD moSt of your univerSity life being totally Skint

”

of the beat Generation and acid house and Hunter S. thompson, the hagiography of soft middle-class rebellion, from the reality, the facts and the dangers.

WWW.tAlktofrAnk.CoM

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 31

Winter of Discotheque: A Guide to Clubbing

Ray Philp and Anna Seale stumble through the small hours of Edinburgh and Glasgow's nightlife in a professional capacity, sort of

32 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

Edinburgh Auld Reekie’s club culture is regularly reported to be ‘turning a corner’, after which it usually careers into another brick wall of indie-disco and electrohouse that’s about as underground as your 13-year-old sister’s pink iPod. And let’s not even mention George Street, because if you’re cheerfully cosying up to private school girls with Black Sabbath hair extensions and lipgloss shinier than P. Diddy in a gold lamé catsuit, then you’re beyond help. But, here we are, reporting that this bloody corner has been – or is about to be – turned.

Bi-monthlys from Glasgow imprints www.theskinny.co.uk

Cabaret Voltaire

Numbers and LuckyMe can and should take credit for raising the bar, though the quality of the residents alone (Jackmaster, Spencer, The Blessings: HELLO) has endeared both nights to discerning clubbers who revel in a music policy that combines Prince, Machinedrum, Missy Elliot and Underground Resistance.

The Burgh’s more established soirées have had a long and patchy history of hosting hip-hop and drum & bass, two genres that have tended to cannibalise themselves in Edinburgh. Xplicit’s willingness to rouse itself from this torpor and embrace a wider palate beyond d’n’b should give you one less reason to disregard them on account of their flyer design, which looks like what happens when Photoshop has been dryhumped by a lobotomised Rolf Harris.

Offshoots borne of Xplicit’s longevity gravitate towards Sneaky Pete’s and the Bongo Club: the former in particular has been singularly responsible for curating some of Edinburgh’s more imaginative bookings this year, hosting the garage/R&B hybrid of Witness and the UK bass music melange found at Coalition, often hosting spinners with strong associations with polybass epicentres like Hessle Audio and Night Slugs.

Of the rest, Substance, remains one of the capitals premier techno nights, though the entry fee will likely stunt your efforts to corrupt your liver with industrial helpings of Jäger. Wasabi Disco’s eponymous music policy (with a bit of Moodymann and UK house thrown in) concedes a little more ground to a student budget without sacrificing on quality, while Departure Lounge’s venerable showcase of hip-hop, house and boogie are worth every penny www.theskinny.co.uk

The Subclub

you would have otherwise spent at Madchester attired like a gorilla at a JD Sports sale.

Glasgow So, you’ve emerged from the nightlife cul-de-sac that is your small home town and landed in Glasgow, a city that’s hit saturation point for club nights.

Congratulations - try not to arse it up.

Don’t be afraid to try everything on offer in a bid to find out what niche sound you’re into and remember that nobody requires one Facebook photo album of their night out, nevermind sixteen.

But where to start? With the closure of the Vic Bar, and with The Arches holding fewer and fewer nights of clubbing significance, there has been a noticeable shift in how clubs operate in the city.

The 150-capacity La Cheetah has become a popular space of late, with top prize going to Highlife. Run by Brian D’Souza and Glaswegian ex-pats Huntleys & Palmers, you can expect to hear music from corners of the planet you’d generally overlook. Highlife focus on ‘future afro-beat’ sounds from ‘across the black Atlantic diasporas’, covering everything from Chicago house, Detroit techno and disco to Cumbia, Kwaito and Afrobeat.

Look out for the inevitable Highlife party that will coincide with the launch party of Auntie Flo’s debut LP later this year.

After almost 25 years in business, The Sub Club remains as popular as ever, and was recently voted the 10th best club in the world by electronic music authority Resident Advisor. Offering a wide range of nights and music policies, we could ramble on about the club no end, but for the sake of brevity here’s a run down of the three standout nights.

...Like you just don’t care

Numbers celebrated their eighth birthday at the start of July in the only way they knew how – by slapping Prince on a dayglo poster and inviting Floating Points down for a three-hour set, before capping the evening off with resident Spencer. This is what the Numbers night – along with their accompanying label and ethos – is all about: bookending great releases from fresh artists with parties in their hometown and showcases at Fabric in London. Don’t be fooled by the standard ‘UK bass’ tag with which Numbers usually get painted: you’re just as likely to hear house, techno and dubstep mixed into the Pointer Sisters as you are Hudson Mohawke.

Saturdays in the Sub Club mean Subculture, one of the longest running club nights in the world. Focusing on deep house and techno with residents Harri & Domenic at the helm, recent guests include dOP, Josh Wink, Andrew Weatherall and Rahaan. House music pioneer Lil’ Louis, the man behind ‘French Kiss’, loves the club so much that he chose to film a large part of his tour documentary during his Subculture set.

Finally, look out for Sensu, which takes place every month both inside and outside the club. Sensu’s ongoing success is built on the foundations of exceptional guest bookings, strange venues and a pool of talented residents.

Need an example? How about Sensu leading a group of 200 regulars down an alleyway, through the back door of a Japanese restaurant for an all-night party in amongst the sushi rolls with Magda and Marc Houle? Combine this with their recent Visionquest booking for a boat party on the Clyde and it’s easy to see why it continues to be so popular.

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 33

Much Ado About Acting: A Guide to Theatre

Our resident theatre critic Gareth K Vile collates a guide to the most daring and adventurous theatre in Scotland: note the absence of whisky and shortbread Perhaps surprisingly - given that Edinburgh can claim to be The Festival City - Glasgow has the healthiest performance scene outside of London.

If there isn’t a small festival, from September’s Arches Live! through to July’s Merchant City shindig, Glasgow’s theatres produce a constant programme of dance, weird physical theatre, traditional plays (usually given a twist) and community projects that can easily eat up study time and overdrafts. Yet all of Scotland’s central belt cities are full of aesthetic goodness, whether it is high art (Scottish Ballet, Shakespeare in the Botanic Gardens), student theatre (Bedlam in Edinburgh; Glasgow’s STAG and STUC companies) or more experimental work (New Territories).

The top end venues - Edinburgh Festival Theatre, The Theatre Royal and the two Kings Theatres - maintain a year round onslaught of international companies and touring musicals; The Traverse caters for new writing fans, as does The Tron; The Lyceum and The Citizens cover classic drama, as does the excellent Dundee Rep; Tramway is worth visiting just for the main space even before it books its eclectic programme of British and international avant-garde work; small scale shows range from The Arches’ emphasis on rising stars to Fort Tightlaced’s new home for Edinburgh’s young teams.

Some studies have suggested that getting involved in art is more beneficial than watching it: luckily, all three cities have excellent student companies - Bedlam is especially impressive - and plenty

of feisty young professional units for the more ambitious. Glasgow’s Flatrate keep turning up in pubs and at the Centre for Contemporary Arts to poke at the boundaries of what counts as drama and even the youth theatre Junction 25, based at Tramway, seems intent on squaring the circle of experimentation and accessibility.

Scottish performance is especially dynamic at the moment: the National Theatre of Scotland has refused to settle on a single identity, and flips between Belgian re-readings of contemporary Scottish scripts, challenging mixtures of movement and language, and honest-to-goodness modern classics given a respectful rendering.

In Dundee, it is simple enough: the Rep has a company that can manage musicals and site-specific, claustrophobic drama with equal aplomb. In Glasgow, constantly jumping across

34 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

the city ensures a balanced diet of theatrical pleasures: Mayfesto at The Tron is an intensive blast of innovative theatre, The Arches Live! is the cream of the local Live Artists. Edinburgh has a slightly more dignified pace: the Lyceum is famous for its rich sets and serious adaptations, while the Traverse builds on half a decade of riding the cutting edge just before it reaches the mainstream.

Scottish culture has frequently been the victim of idiotic schemes to sell a sentimental vision of shortbread and whisky to gullible Americans.

Fortunately, the performers of Caledonia have managed to get way beyond the stereotypes and forge a distinctive identity that blends European and British traditions. This imagination accounts for the politicians general lack of enthusiasm, as it counters their attempts to keep the nation asleep.

Beautiful Burnout , National Theatre of Scotland

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Gillian de Groote, cello, at the Old Fruitmarket

YOUR CITY. YOUR ORCHESTRA.

All STUdEnT TICkETS: £5*

Performing across Scotland in 2011/2012 with music by Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Vaughan Williams and more.

City Halls Glasgow from 29 September: 0141-353 8000

Scan the QR code with your smartphone for more details of the season.

Usher Hall Edinburgh

bbc.in/ssostudents

from 2 October: 0131-228 1155

Aberdeen Music Hall from 30 September: 01224-641122

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*Terms and conditions apply. £5 deal applies to Thursday Night concerts in Glasgow only. £5 Edinburgh and Aberdeen seats only available on day of concert. Proof of status required. Booking fees may apply.

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 35

36 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 37

The Graduate:

A Cinephile’s Guide to University

Gareth Edwards

Jamie Dunn talks to some of the UK’s brightest actors, directors and curators as they recount their formative experiences with cinema, suffering through Spinal Tap on loop and dishevelled porn theatres in the process Uni is a time for self-discovery, a place to ‘find yourself’. You’ll sample enough sensory pleasures over the next few years of studentdom to make Dionysus look like a wallflower, but when you need to escape the chaos of gigs, clubs and, occasionally, study, cinema can be a welcome refuge.

Sitting alone in that darkened auditorium gives you a window into a world beyond the lecture hall and the library.

You may have turned up in term one with your Time Out Film Guide and Godfather box-set and thought you were a cinephile, but there’s a rich film education waiting for you in Scotland’s arthouse theatres and student film societies.

Mark Cousins (film critic, film historian, film-maker) Growing up, I had to rely on TV to see films, but I’d read lots of film books, so by the time I got to Stirling Uni I felt that I had been starved of cinema. Then, in my course, I saw the Nic Roeg films.

38 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

Because of Walkabout and Performance, my sense of what a movie could be grew.

Watching them was like tripping. And I saw Antonioni’s l’Eclisse which was a bit beyond me then and teased me with its sheer beauty to go deeper into the movie forest.

And so I did. I helped run the film society at uni and at it – in a freezing lecture theatre on Tuesday and Thursday night – I saw Les Enfants du Paradis and Scorsese’s New York, New York, two baroque epics which fused in my mind.

I saw Chen Kaige’s Yellow Earth when it came out, at the Macrobert Centre in Stirling, and that could have been the moment when I realised that the forest is huge, and that I’d spend my life in it.

Matt Lloyd (director, The Glasgow Short Film Festival) After spending my teenage years avoiding daylight in a grubby former porn cinema in the centre of Birmingham, watching Antonioni triple bills for £2, www.theskinny.co.uk

courses, drop-in classes and workshops for everyone

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 39

“

This is aspirational behaviour of the kind that would make no sense to our ruling class government but films and records make societies, and societies populated with interesting, educated people

”

I chose to go to Edinburgh University mainly because of the film festival’s reputation. My first trip to Filmhouse was to see John Ford’s classic The Searchers - a sell-out show in a 280 seat theatre. As I was used to sharing a cinema with one sweaty man in a trenchcoat, this blew my mind. Sadly, after this initial promise, my student cinema-going became pretty staid. I dutifully signed up to Edinburgh University Film Society at the Freshers Fair, but being an obnoxious ciné-geek I wasn’t impressed by the selection of films on offer. It never occurred to me to get involved with the programming of the society. Stupid of me, as I later learned that all the best festival programmers start out by taking over their student film society. I got more joy from late night double bills at the Cameo, sadly no more, and later got a Saturday job there shoveling popcorn and editing the Film Club Newsletter. Pay was rubbish, but the job came with an endless supply of free tickets to both Cameo and Filmhouse, and eventually led to me working for the Edinburgh Film Festival...which is more than I can say for my English Lit degree.

S tephen McRobbie

Stephen McRobbie (The Pastels, Monorail Film Club) When I left school my main passion was the independent music scene; records, fanzines, my group. That was the most important thing to me and I messed up and missed out on a university place.

When I finally got in, a year later, I felt appreciative of my luxurious situation (good sized grant, lots of free time).

I tried to be diligent, but my kind of diligence included spending a lot of time in record shops and occasionally the GFT. In a way I think I was still trying to map my own identity and I tried to find films that somehow corresponded to the records that I loved.

At school I had loved Gregory’s Girl and it wasn’t such a big leap into the world of Truffaut and Jean-Pierre Léaud, and through that, Godard and his brilliant-looking 1960s films, which were part pop – the part I was most into – and part Marxist tract. The latter connected to my actual studies and in a way provoked certain ideas that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. They helped make my studies seem more 3D and led to a

40 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

realisation that a great education is part prescribed, part sought out. Now I know I would spend more time in the library but I would also be at the GFT, obsessing over the latest programme and making my picks, and I would be in Monorail trying to prioritise between new vinyls and getting my European cinema DVD collection together.

I think this is probably aspirational behaviour of the kind that would make no sense to our ruling class government but films and records make societies, and societies populated with interesting, educated people.

Chris O’Dowd (actor, The IT Crowd, Bridesmaids) Like every fucking student in the world, we had Spinal Tap in the tape player and I feel we never took it out.

It was in the background of our student days for a couple of years. There’s no doubt in my mind that film has influenced what I do, I could probably relay every line of dialogue.

I might have just finished college, but I remember Magnolia was also a big www.theskinny.co.uk

Chris O’Dowd

one for me around that time, and Boogie Nights. Those even more so. I remember watching John C Reilly in those films and realising that’s the actor I wanted to be. He can just do anything. If he’s in a dramatic film he’s the best thing in it and he’s the funniest person in comedies.

How the fuck do you do that?

Mark Cousins

www.theskinny.co.uk

Gareth Edwards (director, Monsters) When I went to uni I was such a Spielberg and Star Wars nerd (I still am, really), but in around my second or third year I saw a film called Baraka that blew my mind. It’s by a guy called Ron Fricke, who shot Koyaanisqatsi, and it’s probably the best film ever made compared to how little anyone has heard of it. To me, it was as if God had made a video diary of the world. It’s such an epic film.

No one says a line of dialogue, nothing happens, there’s no story. It’s literally just shots around the world but it still makes sense; it says everything without saying anything. It hints at a direction that filmmaking can go but no one’s really gone into full force. As someone brought up on blockbusters, it was a revelation.

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 41

Glasgow Museums presents a touring exhibition by the Arts Centre Melbourne and Western Australian Museum in association with AC/DC, Albert Music and Sony Music

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Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum

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www.ACDCfamilyjewels.com 42 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

Skinny Ad.indd 1

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25/08/2011 17:10

PHoto: SoLen CoLett

The Lives of Others: A Guide to Flatmates

Jean Paul Sartre once said that Hell was other people. He was definitely talking about flatmates. Fearghus Roulston guides you through the scorched earth of sharing accommodation www.theskinny.co.uk

17:10

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 43

One of the greatest draws of student life is the idea of moving away from the family homestead and into your own flat.

The problem with this, though, is that for most people it isn’t their own flat; it’s shared with other people – often complete strangers. Whether you live in the clinical confines of university halls or a Withnail and I-esque dive, your flatmates are the key factor in determining how enjoyable the experience is. You might meet people with whom you’ll form a lasting friendship, or you could end up with people who’ll form the basis for a hundred ‘I once lived with this guy who...’ barstool anecdotes.

The Big Shagger Another one of the big draws of the student lifestyle is the opportunity to meet people of the gender to which you’re attracted, and enjoy grown-up cuddling with them. Like all of these flatmate archetypes, the big shagger takes a typical, unobtrusive trait (liking a beer, being a wee bit lazy) and magnifies it to the point of insanity. This is the girl who wakes you up every other night by banging on the wall and screaming like the worst kind of porn actress, or the guy who always tells that story about using his hairgel as lube. Yeah, that story.

The Party Animal “You guys have seen Animal House, right? I’m just going to put this Fear and Loathing poster up over here. Have I read the book? No time to read, all this partying I be doing. Check it out, you hold the can up like this, yeah, and you pierce a hole in it, and...WOO! Shit, I got beer all over my shirt, I guess it’ll wash the vomit off. You want a shot? I met this girl last night man, she was gorgeous, I don’t really remember what I said to her... you know...sometimes I feel this, like... crippling depression, you know? Like my life is just one huge, gaping hole? I don’t know. Is there more beer in the fridge?”

The Recluse Having a flatmate like this will initially make you feel better about yourself, because no matter how lazy, useless or drunken your week has been, you’ll still feel an unmistakeable flush of self-satisfaction when you come home and find them still stuck to the sofa, eating cereal out of a pint glass and watching Jeremy Kyle. On the other hand, they’ll always beat you at FIFA. Higher education can encourage a slightly sedentary routine, as the equally lazy banter of thousands of hack stand-ups will tell you, but it is true that some people find the allure of daytime telly and the illicit rush of an afternoon wank too much to handle.

Illustration: Eleanor hodesdon

The Slob Slobbishness is kind of fun, in theory.

You’re away from home, with nobody to tell you what to do. Why not keep your socks in the sink and your dishes in the sockdrawer? Why not build a fully functioning castle out of beer cans?

Because it’s filthy and unpleasant, that’s why. Some people refuse to grasp this principle, and spend their student years living like the Collyer brothers, letting piles of rubbish collect everywhere they go and stubbing out their cigarettes on the back of the sofa.

The Compulsive Cleaner The other side of a totally worthless coin, the compulsive cleaner is kind of like Monica from that famous documentary series Friends, except that their implausible insistence on hygiene won’t lead to any witty banter or exciting hi-jinx. It’ll lead to colour-coded cleaning rotas on the fridge and passiveaggressive notes stuck to every surface reminding you that it’s your turn to clean the skirting boards. It’s good to have a clean flat; it’s less good to have a flat that smells like a hospital.

44 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

www.theskinny.co.uk

The Ambassadors’ Reception Meet our Student Ambassadors. Handsome lot, aren't they? Over the next year (or for however long their overdrafts allow) you'll likely spy them touting copies of The Skinny at your Fresher's Fair. Either way, they get exclusive invites to Skinny events and goodie bags for their efforts. If you'd like to be one, you can sign up by visiting our website.

With these ambassadors, we're really spoiling you (weyyy)

Jenny Redpath Age: 21 Year of course: 4th Degree type: Sociology and Psychology Fun fact: Champion table tennis player Favourite band: Beiruit

Cathy Wood Age: 21 Year of course: 4th Degree type: English Literature Fun fact: Origami enthusiast/Justin Bieber believer Favourite band: CocoRosie

Owen Fenn Age: 21 Year of course: 2nd Degree type: English Literature Fun fact: Degenerate gambler/poker player Faourite band: Wu Lyf

Wallis Davidson Age: 21 Year of course: 4th Degree type: Human Biology Fun fact: In a band/tortured musician Favourite band: Biffy Clyro

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 45

Zara: " The tat too was designed in Barcelona, but we had them done in Glasgow by a friend."

PHOTOS THIS PAGE: MARTIN BARKER

Cat : " We went to Barcelona for New Year's, and we discovered that we had a shared love for spooning. The spoon represents what I see as a universal symbol of friendship and love."

Tourist Tatt 46 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

Your first tattoo is a rite of passage; commemorating friendships, personal milestones, and that girls’ holiday in Tenerife.

For whatever reason, holidays seem to encourage the leap from bare to branded: we found some people to share the stories behind their tatoos www.theskinny.co.uk

PHOTOS THIS PAGE: SALLY JUBB

Charlie: "I got most of my tat toos while working on sailing boats, going from Europe, New Zealand, Tahiti, Fiji and the Marqueses.

I wanted to mark each ocassion with a tat too."

Helen: "My celtic ribbon and lillies are from Edinburgh. The other flowers are from my journey across the Pacific and New Zealand.

I'm a gardener, and they are local flowers to remind me of my adventure."

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 47

Gap Yah:

A Guide to Taking a Year Out

PHOTO: Stuart Ward

Paul Mitchell peers beyond the post-colonial, noble savage cliches of the 'gap year' to proffer an array of alternatives, minus the beads and tie-dye Aladdin trousers

Like the metaphorical embodiment of News International, it’s difficult to disentangle the concept of a Gap Year from all that bad press. Particularly in these straitened times, the notion of deliberately setting aside some time instead of just ‘getting on with it’ (whatever ‘it’ may be) is an exclusive preserve of the ridiculously wealthy, ‘doing’ Peru, Thailand, Narnia (well it might as well be, the way University fees are going) in a semi patronising, neo-colonial fashion.

Perhaps it’s just a branding issue, the use of the word ‘gap’ having almost exclusively negative connotations.

There are knowledge gaps, wealth gaps, gender gaps, Mind the Gap (ouch!), the gap between your ears or, eh, The Gap. Or perhaps the concept has been sullied somewhat by the abiding memories of tedious willy wavers boasting endlessly about single-handedly (remember, one hand on willy) saving the orphaned children of Africa (all of them) whilst talking about the self-fulfilment and path to enlightenment (as embodied, naturally,

by ethnic beads and ill-fitting poncho).

It’s not just you, these people ruin the party for everyone. Next time someone you encounter talks about ‘finding him/ herself', politely refer them to Google Maps. Enter your postcode and hey presto! There you are buddy.

But, ubercynics we are not. Some time away from the comparative rigidity of the education system can indeed be a force for good, personal development and a way to contribute to the community.

The world is your holiday resort...

The obvious option, and one most heavily identified by the cliches of privileged youth: seeking spiritual enlightenment, wearing shoes in Buddhist temples and littering the Inca trail, whilst teetering ineptly over squatting toilets. But it’s not an idea to be sniffed at; entered into with an open mind, it teaches toleration, or at the very least, whether Asian ganja trumps that of South America. There are lots of ways to do it creatively, and/or cheaply. Babysit

48 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

someone’s house in Moscow, or deliver a car to San Francisco. Help Exchange (www.helpx.net) lists a large variety of organic farms, hostels, B&Bs and hostels where travellers can stay for free in return for a few hours work a day. The big daddy of internet phenomenona is, of course, www.couchsurfing.com, a site where an army of volunteers all around the world offer to host or be hosted. ...but, you could do something useful while you're at it Despite the inexorable decline of the US as the world’s superpower, the English language is still a highly treasured asset, and we assume (perhaps naively) that most UK students can actually speak it, so why not get paid to teach it (all the funnier if taught in a Weegie accent, you can never have enough bemused Korean businessmen admitting that they 'huvnae a scooby’). It might be an idea to get a technical qualification in the form of a TEFL certificate (see www.uk-tefl.com for details), and the opportunities for using www.theskinny.co.uk

them stretch all over europe and asia.

Maybe you could build an orphanage for endangered whales, or some such lifeaffirming, globe-improving act of altruistic heroism. but, be careful with this one. a lot of companies provide ‘Voluntourism’ services, offering the opportunity to engage in community-based activities all over the place. Some of these can be quite expensive to coordinate, and may result in little or no real benefit to that community, with the paying tourist taking the place of the local unemployed, who won’t really like you very much. Still, Global Vision International (www.gvi. co.uk) is a non-political, non-religious organisation aiming to provide volunteers to fill gaps on a massive range of projects in over 40 countries.

Get a ‘proper’ job So school, uni not doing it for you right now? Well, why not dip a toe in what’s colloquially known as ‘the real world’ by engaging in the sort of renumerated activity you are probably actively trying to avoid. Working in a pub, cafe or restaurant is a great way to develop social

www.theskinny.co.uk

skills (or even more killer anti-social skills), whilst taking on an admin role or call-centre work lets you know what it’s like to have responsibility, and lets you save in order to take part in the activities listed above.

If you’re thinking 'fuck that', but aren’t sure what else to do, then you’re not being imaginative enough. In theory, your gap year will provide the glowing lamp on the otherwise darkened road to the well-rounded, perfectly-contented, vital member of society you clearly strive to be. and it can be done on your doorstep (not the one you puked on last night) but the metaphorical one that is Scotland.

ProjectScotland (www.projectscotland. co.uk) is Scotland’s national youth volunteering organisation, providing opportunities for full time, structured volunteering in not-for-profit organisations. through connecting young people with their communities, they aim to create positive impacts on individuals, organisations, communities and Scotland. again, it'll do no harm to your career prospects and you're less likely to come back dressed in beads and dripping in smugness.

“

entereD into with an open minD, a gap year teacheS toleration, or at the very leaSt, whether aSian ganja trumpS that of South america

”

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 49

Quality Press:

A Guide to Creative Literature Bored to tears of course textbooks and the tyranny of Penguin classics? Put aside your copy of Crime & Punishment as Renée Rowland gives you the lowdown on the alternative Scottish press Gutter In 2009 two graduates of Glasgow University’s Creative Writing course set out to satisfy the need for a high quality, professional channel through which Scottish writers could be published.

Thus, Gutter was born and has since gone on to become the leading fiction and poetry journal in Scotland. Published by Freight, an award winning ‘communications consultancy’, Gutter has both form and function within its pages. It’s a slick channel filled with edgy and often contentious content with a ‘cosmowegian’ flavour: international components within

a Scottish remit. A savvy read, accessible but ahead of the game.[guttermag.co.uk] Valve The literary project of Strathclyde University’s Creative Writing class, the 24 contributors to this Freight-published journal ensure the journal has many voices and something for everyone. Valve is designed to be picked up and read from any page; there’s no cover-to-cover commitment, but rather it’s a journal of wildcards and short escapisms. The mixed bag approach doesn’t come at the cost of quality: the content is tearful, graceful, colloquial and the subject

matter ranges from relationships to moths to toothbrushes. The first issue from the class of ’11 is available now. [valvejournal.co.uk] Fractured West If you struggle to concentrate on a textbook, let alone a novel or short story, Fractured West captures the austerity zeitgeist by offering micro-literature (a.k.a. ‘flash fiction’). All pieces in this journal are shorter than 500 words in length: it challenges the author to pare down their language, focus on the central idea and leverage insightful structures, while pushing the reader to extract a

Love art? own art...

Galleries across Scotland are members of the Own Art scheme. By offering interest-free loans of £100-£2,000 through Own Art, buying an original piece of quality contemporary art or craft couldn’t be easier. A list of participating galleries is available at the Creative Scotland website: www.creativescotland.com/ownart Look for the pink logo.

(representative 0% APR) Offer subject to age and status. Terms and conditions apply. You will need a UK bank account that can handle direct debits, proof of identity and address, and you will also need to be over 18. Own Art is operated by ArtCo Trading Ltd, a wholly owned subsidiary of Arts Council. Registered address: Arts Council England, North East, Central Square, Forth Street, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 3PJ

249 West George Street, Glasgow G2 4QE

50 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

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deeper comprehension from a smaller window. There is nothing superfluous in the text, each word holds its own and hits like a bullet. Hardcopies are available now. [fracturedwest.com] From Glasgow to Saturn A product of Glasgow University’s creative writing programme, this literary magazine is compiled by writers, for writers. The journal showcases the best literature from Glasgow University students, staff and alumni. Content includes poetry, prose, essays, reviews and essentially any well-written literary epistle. The journal’s success is manifest: it’s been in publication since 2007 and has long since passed its 20th edition. [glasgowtosaturn.com] Pushing Out the Boat With strong affiliations to the University of Aberdeen’s creative writing course, this journal harvests the best writing from northeastern Scotland.

The journal deliberately juxtaposes contrasting stories, prose and artwork in order to produce maximum polarity and stimulation. [pushingouttheboat.com] LINE magazine Launched by Edinburgh College of Art graduates in the spring of 2010, LINE proudly champions both emerging and established artists through its content.

Hardcopies are available at galleries throughout Scotland and the UK, but its tumblr is well worth a regular perusal.

Each issue has a focal theme and while sometimes abstract (‘the frame’), the final product isn’t occluded by obscurity, but rather offers accessible morsels of different perspectives. The mag publishes work not just from artists but art commentators, journalists and cultural figures and works to give a voice to the next generation of contemporary artists. [linemagazine.tumlbr.com] Forum Established in 2005 and published biannually since, Forum is an Edinburgh University peer-reviewed journal. It’s written by postgraduate students working in culture and the arts and like LINE, each issue has a theme - a technique to keep coherency and a focal point throughout the journal while evoking discussion. [forumjournal.org] www.theskinny.co.uk

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 51

Costume Drama: A Crafty Guide to Fancy Dress

PHOTOs this page: Solen Colett

Come Septmber and October the Grassmarket is rammed with prospective trick or treaters hoping to cheat their way to costume supremecy. Sophie Kyle does it the old fashioned way, constructing animal hoods using wire coat hangers and cardboard. Also useful for your yiff party needs

52 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 53

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Venue Guide

Edinburgh

Bars

www.theskinny.co.uk

1. the bon Vivant tucked away behind George Street, this bar provides everything you need for a romantic evening or just a few drinks with friends. Helpful and knowledgeable staff are on hand to help you with your wine choices, and if you’re peckish a selection of light bites are available from £1-£2. Good dJs at weekends, too.

55 thiStLe Street 0131 225 3275

2. hawke & hunter the former site of ego, one of edinburgh’s more notorious clubs (the queue for their under 18s night looked like a who’s who of aspiring heidbangers), Hawke & Hunter aims to cater for every taste, and boasts a a cocktail bar, the Mark Greenway restaurant, a secret garden and even a boutique hotel. this elite venue is spread over five floors of a Georgian townhouse and promises to be a decadent escape.

12 PicarDy PLace 0131 557 0952

3. Joseph Pearce’s one of four Swedish bars peppering Leith Walk (boda, Victoria and Sofi’s being the others), Joseph Pearce’s is a cafe during the day serving hot food and Swedish-derived treats, and the venue is more accessible for parents and young children. but, if you want some peace and quiet, wait until the evening when this humble establishment transforms into one of edinburgh’s best pubs, with a great selection of drinks, seats and regulars.

23 eLm roW 0131 556 4140

4. brass monkey tucked away off newington’s busy nicolson Street, brass Monkey is one of edinburgh’s coolest pubs, and worst-kept secrets. they show a film everyday at 3pm on a projector in the back room which itself is made up of two massive mattresses – perfect for feeling-sorryfor-yourself hangover lounging. When there’s no film there’s always a good

soundtrack on rotation, and it tends to have a few decent promos on, not to mention a fairly eclectic clientele and some daytime nibbles. another brass Monkey (5.) has recently graced Leith Walk with its presence.

14 DrummonD St 0131 556 1961 362 Leith WaLk 0131 554 5286

6. treacle Halfway down new town’s fashionable broughton Street, treacle has decent daytime gastro-food (especially the pies) and an evening cocktail menu marginally longer than Ron Jeremy’s member. It ain’t cheap, but good for a wee treat and it’s a great alternative to the often obnoxious George St bars. treacle does get really busy at night, and it can take bloody ages to get a drink, but it’ll be worth it when it eventually arrives.

39-41 broughton St 0131 557 0627

7. 99 hanover Street Just off edinburgh’s upmarket George Street is 99 Hanover Street, a place whose rather opulent décor belies its reasonable prices. It’s low-lit with high ceilings and decadent, antique furniture.

So, you know, great if you’re trying to impress someone but you’re a bit skint. does some great burgers during the day, the Moroccan lamb being a particular favourite. at night they’ve got dJs, cocktails and a top atmosphere.

99 hanoVer St 0131 225 8200

8. the Links Fresh from a massive refurbishment, the Links is very much a tale of two halves. the left is the same, lively bar it always was (although the pool table has gone), while the right now boasts contemporary dining room, offering all manner of culinary treats. Posh and pauper (bar) menus are on offer. there’s a new, huge outdoor seating area, too, which is great for soaking up edinburgh’s annual day of sun.

4 aLVanLey terrace 0131 229 3834

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 55

Vox Pops

Brahaus – Andy, 26

Brahaus – Ben, 25

Joseph Pearce's – Louise, 23

“The bar staff know what they’re talking about, and they’re really helpful.

They’ll make sure you get the right drink for your money and tastes”

“There's an enormous range of beers. The names of some of them are hilarious – the menu's always good for a laugh.”

“There's a really friendly atmosphere, it's really welcoming and open and there's a real mix of people. The menus are inside the covers of old Disney books, that gets my vote.”

9. Finnegan’s Wake Big changes at Finnegan’s Wake: gone is the arid musk of sports science students and warm Fosters. The parodic, over-the-top Irishness of the bar has also been cast away. A refurbished FW is now a much more attractive beast, with light wood pannelling on...well, everything. Big screen fitbaw, regular gigs and plenty of drinks discounts for those without deep pockets.

‘Forgotten Masters’, as well as masses of spirits of liqueur. Food is served until evening time, and is seasonal and freshly prepared. There’s also an in-house offy, open ‘til 10pm. Dress nice, mind.

request. Best to pop in during the week, when student offers ensure a wee bit more value for money.

84 Commercial St 0131 555 5578

14. Tourmalet With its brightly coloured exterior and cycling-themed decoration, the Tourmalet is one of the best hidden pub gems of Leith Walk. The staff are warm and friendly, and the atmosphere generally laid-back, with customers ranging from Leith hipsters to older locals and their dogs. Special mention to their fantastic choice of seasonal German beers, although they can be a tad pricey.

9b Victoria Street 0131 225 9348

10. Brauhaus Brauhaus offers more beers than you ever thought existed, and some even special guest beers during Oktoberfest in the autumn. The staff know their stuff, too. There’s also a few typical German snacks – pretzels, sausages and the like to soak up the booze. Little warning though: some of the beers are really (really) strong; four Chimay Blue and it’s game over.

105-107 Lauriston Place 0131 656 0356

11. Bond No9 A little more upmarket that your average student bar, Bond No9 is an intimate and classy affair. A ‘date’ bar, swathed in candlelight, if you will. It’s got a pretty big cocktail menu, with some twists on old classics and a great selection entitled

12. Penny Black Penny Black is an experience.

Renowned for its early opening hours (it starts serving at six in the morning), the combination of clubbers, drug victims, alcoholics and feckless students guarantee at least one mind-shaking conversation in the jacks. You know that part of the night where you feel like you don’t want the night to end? Half an hour in the heaving mass of humanity that is Penny Black’s will cure you of this delusion. On the bright side, it’s next to a lovely greasy spoon.

17 West Register St 0131 556 1106

13. Dragonfly Despite being located a stones-throw away from the Grassmarket the Dragonfly offers classy, if pricey, ambience and drinks. Anime-inspired artwork mixes well with the elegant dark-wood bar, and an exhaustive list of cocktails ensures there’s plenty to try. But if you can’t find what you want, the barstaff are happy to mix you something complicated on

56 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

52 West Port 0131 228 4543

25 Buchanan Street 0131 467 7107

15. Blue Blazer Sitting in between Lothian Road and the Grassmarket, the Blue Blazer is an interesting mix of both areas’ clientele and a favourite for both old timers and art college students. It may look sleazy and sticky from the outside, but is actually a great venue thanks to their wooden pews and great selection of drinks. Don’t rely on their limited food options, but do indulge in their excellent range of rums. Really worth a visit (or two).

2 Spittal Street 0131 229 5030

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16. Bramble A basement cocktail bar on Queen St, Bramble is an interesting attempt to provide the New Town with a not-toofancy lounge-y venue. Do they succeed?

Yes, on a weeknight, where the friendly staff and relaxed crowd make for a fun time and nice drinks. But sadly, not on a Friday/Saturday night, unless you enjoy shouting in the ear of your (probably very sleazy) neighbour. Thumbs up for their kaleidoscopic, unisex toilets though.

Cafes

16A Queen St 0131 226 6343

17. Hamilton’s At first glance, the comfy sofas and Liechtenstein-inspired wallpaper might draw you to Hamilton’s. Enter at your own risk though, for it is the favourite dwelling of the wealthy people of Stockbridge and their over-healthy ego. The food menu might be varied but isn’t always very fresh (stale bread, hello), and the staff might consider being polite only if you’re a be-pearled, yummy mummy. Especially beware those Saturday nights where the place turns into a yuppie clusterfuck.

16-18 Hamilton Place 0131 226 4199

18. Arcade On the popular Cockburn St. (pronounced Coh-burn, guys), is Arcade, a great little bar whose downstairs area is a little like drinking in someone’s lounge – small, cosy and always very friendly, and whose upstairs is a dingy vodka bar with an unfathomably long list of spirits. It’s worth going just to see the wall of spirits, but also for the free cake they give you with your coffee during the day.

14 Cockburn St 0131 220 1297

19. Villager A typically trendy, matt-grey finished bar/restaurant, Villager, on George IV Bridge is a decent place for food and drink alike. The food is modern and simple, with offerings like homemade burgers (on ciabatta) and pork and chorizo stew.

Drinks are a little more adventurous; the cocktail list includes a banoffee martini and swedish eau pair. The ‘chillout-ninjatune-funk-soul soundtrack’ feels a little overplayed, but it’s always a safe bet.

49-50 George IV Bridge 0131 2262781

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Ar tisan Roast

20. Artisan Roast Exuding a rather French vibe with its Gallic musical selection and rustic-yetclassy interior, a steady-stream of locals grabbing takeaways attests to Artisan’s popularity. The extensive menu features plenty of speciality selections yet still manages to be cheaper (and tastier) than the limited selections of generic coffee shops.

And when a double shot may only cost marginally more than a single (certainly for us latte-drinkers), Artisan is an easy choice for those difficult early mornings.

57 Broughton Street

21. & 22. Beanscene Present in multiple Scottish towns - and twice in Edinburgh - Beanscene’s ethos revolves around a combination of coffee, music and food. But while they aim to avoid the generic coffee-shop formula, their homogenous interiors, standard pricing and average selection means they are as ‘trademark’ as the brands they hope to avoid. Despite some personal touches, like pizza deals and the potential for music gigs at a Beanscene near you, this particular ‘scene’ is rather familiar.

2 Grosvenor Street 0131 3468043 99 Nicolson Street 0131 667 5697

23. Black Medicine Coffee Company Camped strategically on Nicolson Street by the main University campus, Black Medicine stands out primarily for its décor. The tribal/Georgian/bamboo (and rustic pub) conglomeration creates a pleasant atmosphere for the customers milling around, while subtle background noise won’t disrupt your chatter. Unusual food selections also bring a twist to breakfast, brunch or dinner, keeping it in line with Black Medicine’s mash-up aesthetic, but best of all multiple branches export this agreeable notion around town. (24. & 25.)

2 Nicolson Street 0131 557 6269 108-110 Marchmont Road 0131 622 2660 7 Barclay Terrace 013 625 0000

26. Elephant House/ 27. Elephants and Bagels If you have ever thought of Elephant House and not thought ‘JK Rowling’, then you’re one of the lucky few. But while the literary connotations may have worn a little thin for Edinburgh’s residents, proximity to the Royal Mile, generous seating and average prices ensures a steady stream of tourists. A new branch up Marshall Street does extend their model away from the regular tourist

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footfall, but for many the original may have lost its charm.

21 George IV Bridge 0131 220 5355 32 Marshall Street 0131 668 4404

within the gallery it manages to maintain an independent café vibe, attracting a good quantity of non-gallery goers.

Vox Pops

45 Market Street 0131 225 2383

28. Eteaket If the turquoise/fuschia fusion interior hasn’t drawn you to this teahouse yet, Eteaket’s comprehensive menu really should. Hiding just off George Street the prices are average for the area, but an experimental selection does guarantees a treat for your palate. While regulars such as Earl Grey make an appearance, you really should make the most of the array of flavours, with tea-tastings bound to bring out an unusual favourite.

Chocolate Abyss, anyone?

30. Kilimanjaro Coffee A tiny café sandwiched between some of the best charity shops in Edinburgh, Kilimanjaro Coffee is constantly busy. But there are reasons for this – good food, prompt service and yes, the award-winning coffee will ensure that a trip to Kili will not fail to satisfy.

Proximity to student areas naturally affects clientele, but its prime location amid Edinburgh’s bargain hub ensures a steady trickle of regulars stopping by mid-rummage.

41a Frederick Street 0131 226 2982

104 Nicolson Street 0131 662 0135

29. Fruitmarket Gallery Cafe Cannily placed right next to Waverley station inside the Fruitmarket Gallery, this café hosts a good selection of quality food at slightly above-average prices, so perhaps isn’t for every day. In terms of space, it’s sleek and bright, and while set

31. & 32. Loopy Lorna’s While Loopy Lorna’s newest outlet just out of Bruntsfield might save your bus fare, there are still plenty of reasons to get yourself out to the original. This highly-personalised take on the tea shop comes with a full menu, home-baking

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ETEAKET – Frances, 29

“The decor's great, and the staff really know how to make tea. They give you a little timer with your cuppa, so you know exactly when it'll be ready.”

Eteaket – Mary, 27

“You could spend all day here just working your way through the menu.

The cakes are all delicious.”

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casually displayed on the counter and ‘Happiness Cards’, all suggesting Lorna’s really wants to make you feel at home.

With cleanliness and good service maintained even at capacity, your hike will be well rewarded.

370-327 Morningside Road 0131 447 9217 33 Morningside Road 0131 447 3042

33. Peter’s Yard Coffee House and Bakery Peter’s Yard is a sleek Swedish export on the Quartermile, and while quite expensive, the quality of the food makes it all worthwhile. The fresh bread is made on site (and constitutes much of its appeal), while the new takeaway outlet will alleviate those of you desiring the same taste-sensations at home.

Just off the meadows and hosting a large amount of outdoor seating, this is an ideal spot for summer brunches on special occasions.

Clubs & Gigs 36. Studio 24 One of Edinburgh’s original and most well-respected music venues (Nirvana played here in their heyday), Studio 24 was home to ‘The Mission’, for years the city’s most famous rock night. Still a haven for those who like their music loud and eclectic, Studio 24 regularly holds a rock and alternative night, as well as evenings of 60s Motown, soul, garage and classic rock ‘n’ roll for anyone who wants to escape from the familiar mainstream club scene.

24–26 Calton Road 0131 558 3758

37. The Wee Red Bar Located on the grounds of the Edinburgh College of Art, this small bar has a big following, especially among the city’s student population. With entertainment scheduled every night, from live DJs to new and established bands and artists, The Wee Red Bar offers patrons cheap drinks and a few nibbles in an inexpensive venue that’s far off the beaten track and also very intimate in its feel, look, acts and appeal.

Quartermile, 27 Simpson Loan 0131 228 5876

34. Project Coffee The expertly-sourced, exotic-tasting coffee is Project Coffee’s primary focus.

Based in a warehouse-style room with copper benches and glass (but offset by stonework and innocent pop music) this busy Bruntsfield café offers a rather different sensation to the likes of Peckham’s or Costa Coffee further up the street. But it’s important to remember: to accommodate the specialist coffee, you’ll experience a basic menu, and a coffee shop on the pricier end of the scale.

38. The Hive It can be a lot of fun if you’re in the right mood. It’s cheap, dark, sweaty and loud. Some discerning punters sneer at the poppy tunes and the shameless clientèle, but who wants to go out dancing with them? Put on your third-best pair of shoes - if they’re not ruined by two then you’re doing it wrong.

15-17 Niddry Street 0131 556 0444

39. The Liquid Room Shut down for a year after suffering some fire damage, the Liquid Room is back, minus the Best Smoking Area in Edinburgh. Despite this, the refurb made some much-needed improvements to the sound system and cemented the club’s reputation as one of the best medium-sized places to see live music in the city. They also put on regular club nights playing a pretty broad spectrum of music. As long as its busy - the dancefloor is a pretty big space - Liquid Room is one of the best nights out you’ll have in the city.

9c Victoria Street 0131 225 2564

Lauriston Place 0131 229 1003

196 Bruntsfield Place 0131 229 6758

33a George Street 0131 225 6857

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The Bongo Club

PHOTO: STEVE BLACK

35. Wellington Coffee Wellington is a nice little place to drop by and have a quick espresso or a cup of chai tea when you are on a shopping trip on George Street. If you have time to stop for a while, the small yet inviting interior offers an intimate and quite bohemian environment; unfortunately, it can be hard to find a seat sometimes. Also, if the weather is nice you can stay outside on the terrace and enjoy a quick brunch or some of their delightfuly sweet treats.

HM V Picture House

S tudio 24

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 59

PHOTO: Blair McNeil

40. Cabaret Voltaire Cab Vol’s website claims that they are ‘breaking boundaries in music’, which is debatable, but such hubris is excusable from one of the city’s top dance clubs.

Well-priced drinks, a good crowd, and most importantly good music, which is kind of the crux of Cabaret Voltaire’s appeal; if you know what you’re into, then you can go and appreciate some cracking DJing, but if you don’t you can just go and throw yourself around the dancefloor like a loon.

36 Blair St 0131 220 6176

41. Potterrow Potterrow is the Edinburgh University students’ union nightclub, which gives it both advantages and disadvantages.

It’s reasonably priced, always busy, and absolutely enormous. However, on Saturday nights it runs probably the biggest student club-night in Edinburgh and it would take a team of sherpas under the inspirational command of Sir Ranulph Fiennes several hours to get to the bar. It’s definitely worth a trip though, if only to see public schoolboys with their ties around their heads running riot. Kind of like the House of Commons.

5/4 Bristo Square 0131 650 9195

42. The Caves The Caves is really, genuinely cool. It isn’t the kind of cool that you can sneer at and call a hispter. It’s a sub-structure beneath Edinburgh’s eighteenth century South Bridge, and every room is absolutely redolent of Scottish history and Edinburgh’s heritage. A truly spectacular venue for live music and offering the odd club night too, the dark, moody atmosphere more than makes up for the expensive drinks. If you book a private room for a function the food menu is also very impressive.

8-12 Niddry St. South 0131 557 8989

43. HMV Picture House During the year, the Picture House is one of Edinburgh’s most popular venues for barely legal partygoers. It helps that the Lothian Road club has an acceptable entrance fee, student discounts, cheap drinks, a music selection from pop-rock to indie and an inability to spot fake

The Caves

IDs. Furthermore, on top of its regular events, the venue does show case a wide range of names, from Mika, Big Country, The Stranglers and The Wombats to the Wu Tang Clan.

31 Lothian Road 0131 221 2280

44. Queen’s Hall Located in the south side of Edinburgh, the Queen’s Hall venue is an important Edinburgh landmark. Originally built in 1823 as Hope Park Chappel, it was converted to its current usage in 1979. The venue holds all kinds of shows from classical music to jazz and rock and offers great student discounts, allowing you to see almost anything for only a fiver.

85-89 Clerk Street 0131 668 2019

45. The Left Bank Formerly The Store (and the GRV before that, and Octopus Diamond before that), the Left Bank is a popular hangout for music aficionados (art students), with some great alternative club nights. Music is provided by new DJs and bands, as well as some old ones. They also host events: during the Fringe it’s a great wee venue, and there are also regular art exhibitions and the like.

37 Guthrie St 0131 220 2987

46. Electric Circus Walking into Electric Circus is not at all dissimilar to accidentally stumbling

60 The Skinny Student Handbook 2011–2012

onto the set of a dubious Tron remake.

With its omniscient neon strips, it’s a bizarre look into the future. The club part doubles as an intimate gig venue, but it’s selling point is the private karaoke rooms, which give you ample opportunity to make a tit of yourself, but only in front your friends.

36-39 Market St 0131 226 4224

47. The Bongo Club With some of the best dubinfluenced club nights the city has to offer, the Bongo Club is a bit of a haven for reggae, hip-hop and dubstep in the capital. It’s dark and dingy, and full of people who just wanna dance, man. Upstairs it has a small cafe area open during the day, but the night time is really where it’s at. Regular nights include Xplicit, Four Corners and the ever-popular Jungledub.

37 Holyrood Rd 0131 558 7604

48. Sneaky Pete’s A rising star as a venue for bands and DJs alike, the 100 capacity club’s new soundsystem has rubber stamped its status as a ‘proper’ venue. Sneaky Pete’s also has the enormous benefit of being cheap (door entry rarely exceeds £5), so there’s little excuse to pass by a club with the most ruthlessly discerning - and varied - music policy in the Burgh.

73 Cowgate 0131 225 1757

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Theatre & Cinema 49. The King’s Theatre The King’s Theatre on Leven Street is one of Scotland’s pre-eminent theatres, opened over 100 years ago.

The auditorium, with a capacity of more than 1300 seats, is an art work in itself, from the heavily carved door frames, to lavishly decorated 3 leveled boxes and rich golden and red interior design theme. During the year the venue holds showcases both amateur plays and box office hits, including the always famous King’s pantomime.

51. Bedlam Theatre Bedlam Theatre is Edinburgh’s student-based and student-run theatre which stages about 40 shows during the year and one every night during the Fringe and Fresher’s Week. Situated on the corner of Forest Road, the building hosting Bedlam for over 30 years used to be the New North Free Church. Bedlam is a great place to go if you like daring performances and appreciate the naive flair of student theatre.

11B Bristo Place 0131 225 9893

2 Leven Street 0131 529 6000

50. Edinburgh Playhouse Modelled after the Roxy in New York, the Edinburgh Playhouse is the biggest dedicated theatre venue in the UK. With a capacity of over 3050 seats, the Playhouse used to be a lavish cinema until the 70s, when it was transformed into a theatre for touring musicals and concerts. Because of its capacity and the quality of the interior, the theatre showcases some of the most important musical tours that come to Edinburgh.

52. The Cameo The Cameo is the oldest cinema in Edinburgh, and its interior is the perfect reflection of the glory days of picturehouses. The red carpeted floors lead to three old-fashioned screening rooms that contrast with the venue’s selection of contemporary films. All of its original character has remained intact which makes it very popular with students.

The Cameo also boasts one of the most eclectic bars in town, perfect for discussing the seventh art after a viewing.

18-22 Greenside Place 0131 524 3333

38 Home Street 0871 902 5723

53. The Dominion Edinburgh’s last independent suburban cinema, The Dominion, has been showing films for over 70 years.

Located in leafy Morningside, the venue prides itself on the extra touch of comfort they offer: reclining chairs, complimentary drinks and an attentive staff. With four screens and a capacity of over 700, this venue offers an alternative to multiplexes and mainstream film houses. Also, in 1993 Historic Scotland designated the Dominion Cinema a Grade B Listed building.

18 Newbattle Terrace 0131 447 4771

54. Filmhouse Though unrelated to the Cameo up the road, the Filmhouse feels like the Cameo’s more well-heeled sibling, often showing a more obscure set of arthouse films than you’ll find elsewhere. The Filmhouse boasts a cafe, too, but its best avoided; nowt wrong with the food, but a bite to eat will take a large chunck out of your overdraft.

88 Lothian Road, 0131 228 2688

Vox Pops

Cameo – Jack, 18

PHOTO: VIV LOWE

“Great value, a great choice of films, and a really great atmosphere. The staff are all really friendly too.”

Bedlam – David, 20

“The interior's bananas, and the place doesn't have any airs and graces. It's really homely, and there's too many cakes to choose from!”

Filmhouse

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Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 61

55. Traverse Theatre Known as ‘Scotland’s New Writing Theatre’, the Traverse has built a solid reputation for producing high-quality work since it was established in 1963.

Some of Scotland’s best known playwrights, including Liz Lochhead, John Byrne and David Greig have all had their careers launched at the Traverse. It's spacious, too, with two theatre spaces and a smart bar/cafe.

10 Cambridge Street. 0131 228 3223

56. Royal Lyceum Theatre Built in 1883, the Lyceum is home to one of the longest-running theatre companies in Scotland, the Royal Lyceum Theatre Company. Its season runs from September to May every year, and it has been used as a venue for various touring

Fringe productions. Famed for their Christmas Shows, the Lyceum boasts an eclectic yet traditional theatre season, with classic plays by Shakespeare and Arthur Miller performed alongside contemporary works by Michael Frayn and Sam Shepard.

Grindlay Street, 0131 248 4848

57. Church Hill Theatre Tucked away in Morningside, the Churchhill Theatre was originally known as the Morningside Free Church when it was built in 1892 before being bought

by Edinburgh Council in 1960, and finally transforming into a theatre in 1965. Home to many non-professional, Edinburghbased theatre and dance companies like Edinburgh University Footlights, Leith Theatre and Edinburgh Dance Academy,

Art Galleries 59. The Collective Gallery The invitingly-named Collective Gallery is responsible for a busy programme of events and exhibitions each year, based in premises on Cockburn Street.

Arguably the most important of these is the New Work Scotland Programme, offering recent art graduates a chance to showcase their work. While the physical space is perhaps more limited than other Edinburgh galleries, its commitment to exterior projects does ensure that the Collective remains an important stop on the local arts circuit.

22-28 Cockburn Street, 0131 220 1260

61. The Red Door Gallery Happily sited between the prime tourist attractions of the Royal Mile and the Grassmarket, The Red Door Gallery sits confidently (and rather strikingly) on Victoria Street. The décor is particularly slick, fitting in with the general aesthetics required by an art and design boutique. The premises also are an ideal size, small enough to make everything appear quite quaint, and neatly avoiding the too-much-space-too-little-stock issue sometimes found with other gallery boutiques.

the Church Hill Theatre boasts performances all year round, and a tasty cafe run

by Loopy Lorna’s of Morningside.

33a Morningside Road, 0131 529 4147

58. Festival Theatre Standing on the site of the old Empire Theatre, the Festival Theatre has the largest performance area in Scotland, making it a firm favourite with a number of dance companies, especially Scottish Ballet, Rambert Dance Company and Richard Alston Dance Company. A theatre for touring companies, the Festival Theatre has presented everything from comedy, musicals, to dramas and movement pieces. Recent highlights from their season have included Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo and Flawless.

13-29 Nicolson Street, 0131 529 6000

Fruitmarket

artists from abroad which are certainly worth crediting.

25 Arthur Street

42 Victoria Street, 0131 477 3255

60. The Fruitmarket Gallery With a prime location beside Edinburgh Waverley and enough space for a sit-down café and bookshop, the Fruitmarket features all the common characteristics of a contemporary gallery. Hosting both Scottish and International artists, the Fruitmarket mounts a mixture of solo and group shows with a healthy balance between established and lesser-known figures. But overall, it is that stable mixture of art, food and books that will convince you to spend some time at Fruitmarket.

45 Market Street, 0131 225 2383

62. Rhubaba Like many of the younger artistic initiatives running in Edinburgh, Rhubaba is a rather nomadic organisation, flitting between its studio offices in Arthur Street and other borrowed venues throughout Scotland. However as its professed aim is to support emerging international artists, this rather scattered presence makes sense, if only for reasons of availability. While perhaps similar to other collectives, it is Rhubaba’s invitations to and support of

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63. Superclub Yet another of the artist-led projects lending a helping hand to emerging artists, Superclub resides in a gallery at Gayfield Square – coincidentally not far from the Out of the Blue Drill Hall and Rhubaba, which also provide artist studios. With so many initiatives like this, and such a range of artists involved, naturally comparison is difficult – but at least we can all appreciate the benefit of having so many groups lending support to emerging artists.

11a Gayfield Square

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Eating 64. Khushi’s Diner A long-standing staple of the Edinburgh curry scene, Khushi’s is especially renowned for its friendly and family-like atmosphere. Whether you’re eating with a handful of people or a large group, the various tables easily accommodate all options. Oh, and did we say it’s free BYOB? We recommend skipping the starters and focusing on the fresh and flavourful mains that won’t disappoint or break your budget.

32B West nicolson Street, 0131 667 4871

65. Mosque Kitchen New student in town? The Mosque Kitchen is most likely going to be a crucial survival spot when it comes to finding a cheap lunch around George Square. For a mere fiver, you will be served (school canteen style) a very generous AND delicious portion of curry on a paper plate. The outside-only eating area isn’t warm by bad weather, but the various curry options (including vegetarian) are well worth the draughts and surrounding pigeons.

50 Potterrow 0131 667 1777

66. Bombay Bicycle Club BBClub is quite possibly the scrumptious answer to all your curry take-away dilemmas, thanks to their free home delivery across many areas of Edinburgh (although they also have a restaurant in Tollcross). Some dishes can be a tad hit and miss, but BBC is generally good at pleasing your grumbling belly. Special mention to their wide range of veggie options and their especially delicious traditional curries, with a reasonable price that won’t leave your wallet starving.

6 Brougham Place 0131 229 3839

67. The Spice Pavilion Whilst most Indian and Pakistani restaurants seem to be in the Old Town, the Spice Pavilion is well worth the schlep to the New Town, and you’ll thank us www.theskinny.co.uk

for the tip. In a décor that’s a lot fancier than its diner-ish Old Town counterparts, the light and aromatic dishes are some of the best things you’ll ever taste.

Prices are higher than a pub meal, but incredibly affordable for the quality and service provided – this is cuisine.

3a1 Dundas Street 0131 467 5506

71. Seadogs Seafood tends to get a bit of a reputation for being a bit high-end, and well out the average student budget.

Step forward Seadogs, younger sibling of The Dogs, which offers similar fare to its sister but with, unsurprisingly, a mostly marine theme. While we’re on it, they’ve an Italian one too - Amore Dogs, next door to The Dogs. The décor is equally discordant, the food every bit as good and the prices well suited to the thrifty.

43 Rose St 0131 225 8028

68. Mariachi’s As anyone who’s had real Mexican food can attest, Europe doesn’t do authentic Mexican (or Tex-Mex) food very well. At all. And Mariachi’s is no exception to the rule, although they do try, bless their hearts, pots and pans. Whilst the menu looks varied, the dishes are hardly authentic and are unfortunately hit and miss. On a bad day, you’re better off hitting the nearby Grassmarket pubs for a cheaper and safer option.

7 Victoria Street 0131 623 0077

72. Pancho Villa’s The food’s not as revolutionary as the bloke it’s named after, but Pancho Villa’s does offer traditional Central American grub with massive (and I mean biblically leviathan) portions. Expect fajitas, enchiladas, burritos, quesadillas and crippling heartburn if you eat everything they give you. There’s a couple of wee surprises on the menu, too. Not really cheap, but not expensive either, and probably worth going just for the refried beans.

240 Canongate 0131 557 4416

69. The Saint Hidden in a basement on Stockbridge’s bustling St Stephen St, The Saint is a fairly recent addition to the restaurants of the area. And a very welcome addition at that, for The Saint manages to offer both an inviting and relaxed afternoon-glass-of-wine opportunity, and a lovely dining option for those with a more comfortable budget. Food options are more upper-gastro pub than nouvelle cuisine, but are well worth a stop.

44 St. Stephen Street 0131 225 9009

73. No. 1 Sushi Bar Sushi can sometimes be a bit Upper-West-Side Manhattan, reserved exclusively for the cast of Sex and the City - and, frankly, a bit shit - so it’s nice to know that a place like No. 1 Sushi Bar, where they know how to do it properly, exists. The food is authentic and the portions generous. It is really quite expensive, but then I guess there’s some serious skill goes into making this fodder.

Save for a treat.

37 Home St 0131 229 6880

70. The Dogs Specialising in doing something a bit interesting with cheap and unusual cuts of meat, The Dogs on Hanover St, offers a great alternative to New Town’s rather more costly haunts. Quirky décor, mis-matched cutlery and furniture only add to its allure. Championing British (and especially Scottish) dishes, it’s cheap, interesting and well worth a visit. The lunch-time fish and chips really is, well, y’know, the dogs...

74. Britannia Spice If you fancy something a bit nicer than your average chicken jalfrezi, Leith’s Britannia Spice offers a massive range of multi-ethnic cuisine, from Indian to Nepalese. Situated right by the docks, its nautical theme is a bit hackneyed, but the curries are so good, so who cares? Prices are mid-range, with more of a focus on quality than value. Also, you can get a jalfrezi, if you really want to.

110 Hanover St 0131 220 1208

150 Commercial St 0131 555 2255

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75. Urban Angel Urban Angel’s philosophy is focused on sourcing local, sustainable producce that are in season, which can only be a good thing. They’ve two locations, one in New Town, the other right on the edge of Leith (76.), a menu that changes frequently and a bright, friendly atmosphere. Some interesting creations, too: potato terrine and mushroom ketchup springs to mind. Prices are fair, especially given their commitment to local, organic food.

121 Hanover Street 0131 225 6215 1 Forth Street 0131 556 6323

77. Mums Situated conveniently on Forrest Road, between Old Town and the Meadows, Mums is the best morning-after place to eat. With a nice selection of home cooked food, they pride themselves with their sausages and mash and promise to definitely make the best comfort food at comfortable prices. The interior reminds you of a 50s American diner, and don’t forget to check out the desserts once you decide on which one to go with from Mums’ wide choice of puddings.

Vox Pops

Mosque Kitchen – Nooch, 23

“It's cheap and cheerful, but the food's really great. It's not as fun without the pigeons from the old building, though.”

4a Forrest Road 0131 260 9806

78. Dario’s Dario’s Italian restaurant is the ideal place for late-night cravings and fast bites. Situated on Lothian Road, one of the main arteries of the city, it is the perfect stop-off point for midnight nibbles. From pizza to fish and chips, the menu offers a wide range of Italian and local specialties.

The interior may be a little out of date but the welcoming and friendly staff more than make up for the décor.

85-87 Lothian Road 0131 229 9625

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Bars 1. The Butterfly & Pig There are few folk in Glasgow who haven’t enjoyed at least one night out in this popular city centre bar. Composed of several rooms linked together, its battered couches are comfier than they look, and the fact it’s always heaving with people will annoy you less than it should. There’s live music most nights of the week, and a feel-good atmosphere is guaranteed. Quieter during the day, it also serves an eclectic range of food, including delicious high teas.

Venue Guide

Glasgow

153 Bath Street 0141 221 7711

2. MacSorley’s Here lies a long established music bar, now nearly 111 years old, with a twist. The menu boasts a good range of locally sourced Scottish fare and it changes weekly so it’s a good shout for some lovely pub grub. Not only is it a great live music joint, its affiliation with one of the highest esteemed clubs in Glasgow, the Sub Club (handily just round the corner) gives it an edge and it is often frequented by DJs and clubbers on their way to a night out. Choosy rum lovers are accommodated for too.

42 Jamaica Street 0141 248 8581

3. The Halt Bar A West End institution, The Halt Bar is known as a hangout for musicians, writers and other creative types. It was here that Stuart Murdoch met Stevie Jackson before forming Belle & Sebastian. The large public bar is just the right side of shabby, and serves a decent selection of drinks at reasonable prices. Next door is a venue that hosts a variety of club nights and gigs, and is well worth a visit at weekends.

160 Woodlands Road 0141 352 9996

4. Dram!

The bar formerly known as Uisge Beatha underwent something of a radical makeover earlier this year. Gone is the dark, cosy atmosphere of old, replaced by large windows and spacious tables.

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As its name suggests, whisky is a house speciality, with a wide range to choose from. With a good number of TVs, it can get busy on match days. Regular comedy nights are held, although the bar prices will leave few students laughing.

232 – 246 Woodlands Road 0141 332 1622

5. The Winchester Club Post-rock fans will be disappointed, but this club has nothing in common with the band of the same name. Located in the heart of the Merchant City, it’s a compact subterranean venue with a small bar and dance floor. It’s a good choice if you fancy a well-made cocktail but don’t want to pay the extortionate prices charged by places close by. The music varies, but never strays too far from dance floor hits.

45 - 49 Bell Street 0141 552 3586

6. Lebowski’s The west end of Argyle Street has become one of the best places in town to eat and drink thanks to new bars like Lebowski’s. It’s more stylish in appearance than the famous movie character from which it takes its name, with wood panelled walls and leather booths. The drinks menu contains everything you could ask for, from real ales to malts, fine wines to cocktails. The food ain’t bad either. Prices may stretch some student budgets, though.

1008 Argyle Street 0141 564 7988

7. The Flying Duck Having celebrated its 4th birthday in July, The Flying Duck is a wellestablished bar and nightclub situated on Renfield Street bang in the city centre.

Its two uniquely-shaped rooms showcase live DJs, club nights of every genre, occasional exhibitions by Art School students and, on Tuesdays, naked people, as they host their life-drawing class ‘All the Young Nudes’. Drinks are cheap and as it has no kitchen you can bring your own food.

142 Renfield Street 0141 553 3539

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NIGHT CLUB

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421 SAUCHIEHALL ST

GLASGOW

OPEN ‘TIL 3 AM 7 DAYS A WEEK FOOD SERVED 12-9PM EVERY DAY (SUN 1PM-9PM)

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BLACK/ WHITE RUSSIANS £2.50

BOTTLE OF KRONENBOURG £1.75

NEW CLUBNIGHTS FROM SEPT

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 67

Vox Pops

Hillhead Bookclub – Lewis Macky, Loch Lomond, Outdoor Instructor

Macsorleys – Mariga Daniulaityte, Lithuania, Studies music at Glasgow Uni

Nice N Sleazy – Holly O’brien, Physics and Astronomy at Glasgow Uni

8. 13th Note On King Street near the city centre, 13th Note is a bar and kitchen with a performance space downstairs. The kitchen serves a wide range of vegan and veggie food and the bar offers a large selection of drinks. Downstairs, the venue is used for band nights and live comedy, and on the first Monday of each month their “Initial Itch” showcase provides an excellent opportunity for budding writers, comedians, musicians and performers to showcase their work to a friendly and appreciative audience.

from the mutated musical spectrum of the QMU, book-ended by thrash metal and cheesy pop, and the GUU’s apparent sole dependence on the latter, Hillhead Bookclub plays host to a variety of groups and societies (one of which, perhaps unsurprisingly, is a book club), while DJs at the weekends provide the perfect soundtrack to your Strawberry Mojitos.

13. PJ Champs Pool and big screens: it’s basically like your big brother’s bedroom. There’s free pool to be had during the week between 11am and 5pm, plus you can enjoy a regular pool competition, DJs during the weekend and a selection of freshly prepared pub grub.

“Its just chilled, cool atmosphere with all the stuff inside”

50-60 King Street 0141 553 1638

9. The Ivy Unlike London’s cult celebrity-harbouring bar of the same name, you’re bound to be in good company at Glasgow’s Ivy, nestled not far from Kelvingrove Park in the West End. Its friendly staff, impressive array of cocktails (with even more impressive names) and an army of Glasgow’s favourite local DJs in its address book mean that whether you’re looking for a raucous weekend haunt or a quiet drink to wind down on a Sunday night, the Ivy has your bases covered.

1102-1106 Argyle Street 0141 221 1144

10. Hillhead Bookclub Situated just off Byres Road, this bar has cemented itself as a worthy alternative to Glasgow University’s lacklustre unions. Providing as it does an escape

“I live upstairs and the atmosphere IS ALWAYS GREAT”

“Turn up and there is always something on”

17 Byres Road 01413 334 8888

17 Vinicombe Street 0141 576 1700

11. Black Sparrow It’s a classy joint, the Black Sparrow bar and restaurant: the concrete jungle and motorway outside belies the lush interior with high ceilings, metallic columns and intimate booths for two. Situated on the edge of the city centre, it’s a little on the pricey side but great value for money if you head there between Sunday to Thursday for the delicious 2-for-1 burgers and midweek cocktail deals.

14. Bloc Bloc fancies itself as a bit of a controversy. Despite its communist connotations of its name and decor, Bloc beams proudly that it is “not for everyone”. Putting that aside, its a fine watering hole with good deals in pizzas and curries, usually for under a fiver per person. There’s often live music in the evenings, showcasing mostly local acts.

117 Bath Street 01413 574 6066

12. Vodka Wodka Home to a vibrant host of eateries, bars and a cinema, Ashton Lane is also home to the aptly named Vodka Wodka bar. Vodka Wodka is a student hang-out with student prices and a summer garden; the cocktail bar has an extensive selection of over 70 vodkas to quench your thirst. Oh, and there are some other drinks on the menu, and Italian food too, just in case you need a change from the clear stuff.

15. Nice ‘N’ Sleazy Nice ‘N’ Sleazy can’t help being a wee bit dingy. It’s not its fault. Maybe it’s you.

You and your dainty white shoes, walking in here like you expect a crystal chandelier to be hung from the ceiling. Hungry?

Want some quail’s eggs, do you? Piss off to Merchant City, then. At Sleazy’s, what you get is what you see; decent beer, wet seats, and a really pleasant crowd of revellers. Most of whom can be found at the downstairs club area, blackening their plimsoles into the small hours.

31-35 Ashton Lane 0141 341 0669

421 Sauchiehall Street 0141 333 9637

241 North St 0141 221 5530

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Cafes 16. & 17. Tinderbox With an entrance that belies the space inside, this café is all clean lines and sharp design; depending on where you sit, it varies from dark and woody to light and airy. Upmarket and fitting in with its Merchant City location, there is a wide selection of cakes, pastries and panini’s, with some inspired flavours. Plus, we love the forest painted on the wall.

19. Tchai-Ovna Tucked away at the bottom of Otago Lane near Gibson Street is Tchai-Ovna.

Enter via a porch with a tree growing through it, into a warm, dark and ambient space inside clothed in silk scarves, screens and cushions for ground seating. The Middle Eastern theme extends to their food which is spot on for students, featuring falafel, houmous and dolmades.

118 Ingram Street 0141 552 6907 189 Byres Rd 0141 339 3108

42 Otago Lane 0141 357 4524

18. Offshore Open plan, airy and situated on a corner on Gibson Street, Offshore provides a great view on the passing world from a comfy sofa. Serving affordable, locallysourced light bites, soup and mains; it’s not only a casual and relaxed meeting place but an art gallery and a music venue as well. The downstairs basement houses exhibitions plus there are regular events such as life drawing and language classes (the ukulele club sounds fun too).

21. The Arches Crouched beneath Glasgow’s Central Station is the atmospheric post-industrial brick and metal cavern that is The Arches.

This renowned arts venue hosts theatre, gigs and club nights, and is enjoyed by a wide range of clientele. The bar and restaurant downstairs, dotted with brightly coloured lamps hovering like flying saucers above, is intimate and serves a great variety of meals and bar snacks.

253 Argyle Streetn0141 565 1035

20. Hidden Gardens Behind the peeling façade and faded glory of an old tram station lies the Tramway. At once an exhibition and theatre space, it’s also home to a café and the Hidden Gardens. A haven for mums and kids, you’ll also find dancers and arty types hanging out in this relaxed, expansive space. The gardens are a magical place to explore and provide a peaceful haven within the city and the café food is tasty and affordable.

25A Albert Drive 0141 433 2722

3/5 Gibson Street 0141 341 0110

22. Naked Soup Just round the corner from Byres Road, Naked Soup is a wee, cosy café that makes an ideal venue for relaxed lunches with friends. It serves breakfast to order, and a wide range of tasty organic sandwiches, smoothies and soups – there are usually at least three to choose from - that are all freshly prepared. It’s certainly not cheap, but does serve generous portions that will ensure that you return time and time again.

6 Kersland Street 0141 334 8999

Vox Pops

“Just visiting for the weekend but think the venue is so funky, relaxed but smart. I love the smartie lights and the building as well.”

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PHOTO GEMMA BURKE

The Arches – Rachel Ley, Devon, Civil Engineer

The Arches, with Bat tles playing

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 69

Clubs & Gigs The Art School Big pile of rubble, probably not worth climbing the hill to see it.

23. La Cheetah Despite sounding like it should be filled with prostitutes and 1930s New York gangsters, La Cheetah has established itself recently as a hub for Glasgow’s burgeoning DIY club scene. This intimate 100-capacity venue has seen several of the city’s favourite underground nights grace its glowing bubble of a DJ booth and is welcoming increasingly highprofile guests from every corner of the international dance music community. A must-see for the discerning clubber.

73 Queen Street 0141 221 4851

24. Buff Club Buff Club, not to be confused with the new gym that recently opened down the road from it, has been a favourite destination of Glasgow students for years, offering up everything from band nights to club nights whose music policies range from omnipresent electro to funk and soul.

Of particular note are its Monday “Trade” night, which offers a big night out to those who are unlucky enough to have weekend jobs, and the bass-driven Tuesday night establishment that is Killer Kitsch.

142 Bath Lane 0141 248 1777

25. Flat 0/1 Sure to appeal to the whims and quirks of many new students, Flat 0/1 is an interesting concept. This Bath Street bar is designed to look like “your mate’s flat”, complete with peeling wall-paper, a well-conceived mish-mash of different furniture and somebody’s friend on the decks in the corner every night. There’s even a massive bed for you to sprawl out on at the back, however one does wonder how often the sheets get changed.

162 Bath Street 01413316227

26. King Tut’s Recently declared “Britains Best Small Venue” by the NME - an accolade

that was presumably added to the swelling box in somebody’s garage of other titles it has acquired over the years - King Tut’s is a much loved institution in Glasgow’s live music scene, boasting a star-spangled roster of musical alumni like Arctic Monkeys, who had their first experiences of the city in this venue. In short, King Tut’s bears exactly the kind of musical influence you would expect from a “small venue” that somehow metamorphosises into a 40,000 capacity tent at T in the Park every year.

272 St. Vincent Street 0141 221 5279

27. Barrowlands The Barrowlands is viewed by many as the pride of Glasgow’s live music scene. The infamously rowdy clientele have forced a plethora of bands from Arcade Fire to The Libertines to declare Glaswegian audiences the best in the world, often preferring the venue to some of the city’s larger arenas. Don’t be put off by this rough reputation though: the punters are as friendly as they come, but be prepared to get sweaty, as you will be required to adhere to their prized “muck in or fuck off” mentality.

244 Gallowgate 0141 552 4601

28. Sub Club Difficult to write about the Subby without diving into a black hole of platitudes and hyperbole, so we’re taking the coward’s route here: it’s hands down the best club in Scotland, with an A-list soundsystem and a genuine community that attaches itself to its regular Sensu, Subculture and Optimo soirees. Most DJs will tell you without hesitation that it’s one of their favourite places to play in the world. It is, simply, a bonafide dance music mecca.

22 Jamaica Street 0141 248 4600

29. Cathouse The abode of many a jet-black fringe and bourbon-stained plimsole lost to the dancefloor, the Cathouse is as old as most of its rock-loving inhabitants.

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Weeknights take in everything from early noughties nu-metal (just as well that you’re leaving by the cover of dark for that one, mind) to big-baws cassette rock like ZZ Top, Led Zepellin and other groupie-shagging rock groups of yore. Solid drink promotions and a youthful vibe make this a fun pit-stop for freshers.

15 Union Street 0141 248 6606

The Arches See under 'Cafes'.

253 Argyle Streetn0141 565 1035

30. Garage As its Bob the Builder-aping website confirms, the Garage is not for boring old people who are into Helvetica fonts and stark design. Save for the alwaysimpressive haulage truck that pokes out above the doorway, the Garage is not the oily, overcharging den of sloth that its name implies. Instead, it’s a reasonably spacious arena that hosts fizzy pop on most weeknights and hip-hop/R&B at weekends.

490 Sauchiehall Street 0141 332 1120

31. Chambre 69 Chambre 69 on Nelson Mandela Place is one of the newest clubs in Glasgow and adds an exciting new night spot to the city centre. In addition to being a late night bar and nightclub it showcases live music, DJs, cover bands and comedy. They serve a range of cheap drink promos as well as gourmet burgers. Tuesday’s offer a gay night run by people that frequent them, and is memorably named C U Next Tuesday.

69 Nelson Mandela Place 0141 248 6447

32. Classic Grand Situated on Jamaica Street in a building that once housed a pornographic cinema, Classic Grand is both a nightclub and live music venue. Pop has no place in this alternative club where metal, rock and punk dominate the decks. Thursday’s ‘Crank’d’ is free for all students and plays a mix of rock, indie, punk and electro.

Requests are genuinely considered so the tunes tend to reflect the crowd - just don’t ask for Béyonce.

18 Jamaica Street 0141 847 0820

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SUB

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SUB CLUB FRESHERS SKINNY STUDENT.indd 1

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33. Soundhaus The 300-capacity Soundhaus on Hydepark Street, with its two fully equipped rehearsal studios, attracts a class of band that really know how to play their instruments and can draw a large crowd. These rehearsal rooms can be rented for a very reasonable rate and provide their own drum kits. Soundhaus host an eclectic mix of techno, metal and trance music nights - including some marathon parties which occupy three rooms and last 12 hours.

47 Hyderpark Street 0131 221 4659

launch in Glasgow since the Apollo. Gigs run throughout the year.

330 Sauchiehall St 0141 332 2232

35. The Captain’s Rest Nautically themed and oozing charm, the Captain’s Rest plays host to some of the most memorable tiny gigs in Glasgow, and is often an important starting point for some of the city’s fledgling acts. Formally an ‘old man’s pub’, it now provides good food and reasonablypriced drinks and a great programme that runs throughout the year.

185 Great Western Road 0141 332 7304

34. O2 ABC In a distinctive Art Deco building on entertainment-central Sauchiehall Street, the O2 ABC houses four bars, two live music venues and club spaces.

Big enough and busy enough to keep everyone happy, it biggest venue has a capacity of 1600, the largest venue to

36. Oran Mor Possibly the most impressive and beautiful venue in the city, the Oran Mor is housed inside a glorious old church.

The building does wonders for the acoustics, making rich harmonies sound all the richer. Pretty apt, considering

the name means ‘great melody of life’. It has a Scottish themed restaurant (The Brasserie) and a venue which hosts of a range of nights, including music, theatre and comedy.

731-735 Great Western Road 0141 357 6200

37. SWG3 The SWG3 in the west end is an exhibition space, gallery and studio, providing excellent facilities for a variety of creative pursuits - from rehearsal studios to natural light photography studios, a letterpress and music recording facilities, of which can be rented.

SWG3 also has two venues, allowing for a dynamic program of visual art with electronic music.

The SWG3, Eastrale Place, 0141 357 7246

Theatre & Cinema 38. King’s Theatre The King’s Theatre is a Glasgow institution. Its grand, early 20th century architecture is a dead give away for what it beholds. The plush red velvet – albeit weathered – seats, over-the-top gold decor, and classic proscenium arch provide everything you need for a proper old school thespian experience. If you’re into cheesy west end musicals, family friendly shows and miniature tubs of overly priced mint choc chip ice-cream then you’ll have a riot.

297 Bath Street 08448717648

39. Tramway Occupying the site of a former tram shed, the aptly named Tramway in the South Side now houses some of Glasgow’s most innovative visual and performing art. Tramways versatile theatre space allows for a repertoire including both experimental theatre companies and performances by the National Theatre of Scotland. Equal weight is given to visual art with a mixed bill of exhibitions and installations,

as well as it being a key venue for the Glasgow International Festival of Contemporary Art. 25 Albert drive 0141 276 0950

Merchant City Festival. Next year should see the third instalment of Mayfesto, a collection of performances that focus on politics and the spoken word.

63 Trongate 0141 552 4267

40. Theatre Royal The Theatre Royal on Hope Street is a traditional proscenium arch theatre.

Home to Scotland’s resident companies ‘Scottish Opera’ and ‘Scottish Ballet’ it’s an excellent venue to experience both national and international dance and opera on a large scale. The repertoire also includes West End and touring productions as well as some of the biggest names in comedy.

282 Hope street 0141 332 3321

41. The Tron The Tron theatre in the Merchant City offers a mixed bill of new writing and re-workings of established texts. With an emphasis on Scottish, UK and world premieres The Tron is a good place to experience new theatre first. It plays host to many of the city’s arts festivals such as Glasgay!, Celtic Connections and

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42. GFT The Glasgow Film Theatre, or GFT, is synonymous with class. It boasts a great selection of arthouse films, often underpinned by a theme or microfestival. The Art Deco inspired café bustles with activity before a screening, serving sandwiches, salads, soups and a variety of snacks.

12 Rose street 0141 332 6535

43. The Grosvenor Located on Ashton Lane, the Grosvenor is a cinema cafe and bar. The cinema shows a small selection of recent releases and regular screenings of classic and cult films. Mondays are cheapest, with £5 tickets available all day. If you're feeling decadent, you can buy tickets for sofas instead of seats. The bar boasts drinks promos on week nights.

Ashton Lane 0141 339 8444

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Vox Pops

CCA – Kalonde Kasengele, Zambia, Comedian

“Ideal for meetings and good to chill out”

CCA – Nico Nellova, S Africa, Comedian

“Good place to talk and its quiet”

Art Galleries 44. The Common Guild Situated on one of the most expensive residential streets in Glasgow – featuring, I kid you not, house numbers in Roman numerals – this visual arts organisation looks like a wealthy person’s town-house. And the interior does not disappoint. Marble fireplaces, giant mirrors and windows covered in white gauze. The staff are helpful, the exhibited artwork is sparse yet of a high quality and there is a small, free library available.

21 Woodlands Terrace 0141 428 3022

45. Recoat This gem of a gallery/shop boasts an impressive array of cool graffiti art from artists from around the world. The artwork changes monthly and this includes an impressive large-bricked alleyway beside the shop so it’s worth a regular visit. Although most of the pieces are beyond the average student’s financial reach, there are lesser priced items such as prints available, and it’s a good place to buy paint and to network if you are a budding graffiti artist yourself.

323 North Woodside Road 0141 341 0069

46. Centre for Contemporary Arts The CCA is a multi functioning arts venue. Set in a deceptively large building on Sauchihall Street it houses a bar, a café,

the bookshop Aye Aye Books, studio and gallery space for artists and the offices of what they refer to as ‘cultural tenants’, such as Playwright’s Studio Scotland and Vanishing Point. It is the location for several workshops for artists, such as ‘Write, Camera, Action’ which allows writers, actors and directors the chance to network and collaborate on projects.

350 Sauchiehall Street 0141 352 4900

47. The Duchy Established in 2009, The Duchy is an art gallery on Duke Street in Glasgow’s East End. As a small venue, the gallery hours are limited to Fridays and Saturdays 12pm-6pm but it’s an innovative space for artists to experiment and develop ideas. Their open submission policy allows for group shows of new work by recent graduates as well solo exhibitions by more established practitioners. It also hosts a range of artist’s talks.

23/25 Duke street 0141 237 8754

48. Gallery of Modern Art The Gallery of Modern Art in Royal Exchange Square is the most visited modern art gallery in Scotland. Housed over four floors, in a beautiful neoclassical building, are regular large scale temporary exhibitions and Glasgow’s collection of contemporary art. There is a

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strong focus on work by Glasgow based artists. Entry is free and the building also boasts a large library.

Royal exchange square 0141 287 4350

49. Transmission Gallery Originally set up in 1983 by GSA graduates, Transmission Gallery continues to fulfil its original mandate to offer exhibition space and opportunities for young artists. Situated on King Street in the city centre Transmission Gallery is run by a volunteer committee of six people.

They encourages interaction between members in order to create collaboration opportunities and an inspiration atmosphere. They host film screenings and performances as well as an annual exhibition of members work.

28 King Street 0141 552 7141

50. The Mutual The Mutual on St Vincent Street in the city centre was formed in 2009 by 4 Glasgow School of Art Fine Art students.

It was designed to be a lifeline for young artists. The Mutual aims to be a tool for creative networking and facilitating exhibition opportunities. Members include writers, film-makers, artists, musicians and designers and many are key players in the annual Glasgow Short Film Festival.

84 Miller Street

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Vox Pops Oran Mor – Calum Mackinnon, Outer Hebrides S Uist, English Lang Student @ Glasgow Uni

“Only place in West End open till 3am and has the atmosphere of an old mans pub. Spying on the chewing the fat crowd too.”

Mother India's Cafe

Eating 51. Cafe Andaluz If you’ve yet to come across tapas then it’s time to try this popular Spanish cuisine, and one of the best places in to sample it in Glasgow is Cafe Andaluz.

Warm, welcoming, and tiled from floor to ceiling, Andaluz serves an extensive selection of tapas, tortilla and paellas.

Featuring a number of special menus tailored for just about any occasion, the prices are reasonable and the booze is readily available.

2 Cresswell Lane 0141 339 1111 12-15 St Vincent Place 0141 222 2255

52. Coia’s Café One of Glasgow’s most famous Italian restaurants, Coia’s in the East End is often referred to as a local institution, having been in business since 1928.

Great for a bit of hearty, homemade Italian cooking, their ice creams are legendary among the locals, and you can even enjoy their food in your own home, with a takeaway service for hungry gourmands short on time.

473–477 Duke Street 0141 554 3822

53. Ming’s If you can’t decide between Thai, Chinese or Japanese food, then head to Ming’s Oriental Restaurant, where you can sample a little bit of everything, from Wan Tan Soup to Lemon Chicken. Taking into account the chef’s regular specials, including Jumbo King Prawns in Peking Sauce, www.theskinny.co.uk

there is something everyone can enjoy. For hungry students, Ming’s offer a two-course meal for just £7.95 on weekdays.

Princes Square 48 Buchanan Street 0141 248 6330

54. Mother India’s Cafe The much more relaxed and laid-back sibling of the Mother India Restaurant, this award-winning cafe can be found across the road from the Kelvingrove Art Gallery. It specialises in Indian food presented in a tapas style, meaning that you get smaller, but still substantial portions of your favourite Indian dishes that you can sample, share and devour.

1355 Argyle Street 0141 339 9145

55. Crabshakk Somehow squeezing itself into a floor space that wouldn’t accommodate most newsagents, Crab Shakk is only marginally bigger than the average lobster pot but still serves some of the finest seafood in town. The very best in Scottish fish and shellfish and white fish are unfussily prepared and presented, including favourites such as scallops, crabcakes and mussels. It’s usually bursting with folk, so book well in advance.

1114 Argyle Street 0141 334 6127

56. Asia Style Widely regarded as a purveyor of the best Asian food in the West End, Asia Style is something of a hidden gem. The

formica-topped tables and hard chairs are worth enduring for the sheer quality of the food served. The menu offers dozens of fantastic authentic dishes, and with nearly all main courses costing less than £10, you won’t find better value anywhere else in town.

185-189 St Georges Road 0141 332 8828

57. Saffron Lounge Located south of the river in Shawlands, Saffron Lounge is one of a number of eateries proving that fine dining in Glasgow isn’t reserved to the city centre and west end. In a city with more than its fair share of quality but affordable curry houses, Saffron Lounge still stands out against the rest. The food is well-cooked and presented and will leave you feeling more than satisfied. Friendly service adds to an inviting atmosphere.

61 Kilmarnock Road 0141 632 8564

58. Mono Much more than just a café, Mono is one of the city’s best live music venues and also houses probably its finest record store – the famous Monorail.

Bright, open and spacious, it’s a relaxing place during the day to enjoy a dish from its well-prepared vegan menu. In the evenings various gigs and happenings take place - it’s worth checking the website regularly to find out what’s on.

Make a point of visiting.

12 King’s Court 0141 553 2400

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Map 55

30 11

45

15 38

40 34

42

07

25 01 14 24

26

31 06 52

09

51

55

47

48

33

23

29

21

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36 22 10 51 45 12 43 17 19 18

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Venue Guide

Dundee

Bars & Cafes

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1. Art Bar A popular basement bar located on Dundee’s bustling Perth Road, with a wide range of beers, wines and spirits sold at affordable prices. The Art Bar also serves lunches and has its own outside smoking area. Live music is performed in a comfortable, intimate setting. Although similar to other bars in the area, the Art Bar has a unique feel. A child friendly pub, and a firm favourite for all ages.

3. Top of the Tower As hinted in its name, The Top of the Tower café is located on the top floor of Dundee University’s tower building. Open Monday to Friday, from 8am-3:45pm, all products are Fairtrade, from hot drinks and cookies to cereal bars and treats.

This venue also provides beautiful views over the city centre and beyond. A quiet place to enjoy a bite to eat amidst the hustle and bustle of student life.

140B Perth Road 01382 227 888

University of Dundee, Nethergate 01382 223 181

2. Kokomo Situated in Westport, Kokomo is a hip and happening bar that hosts different events every night of the week. With pub quizzes, live music and DJ nights, there is no shortage of variety. Kokomo serves cocktails (2 for £6), and a large range of other spirits and beers. Traditional, fair-priced meals are served daily. With a roll the dice game included to win money off your bill, you’ll certainly find yourself going back for more.

4. Tonic Another prominent bar on the city’s Perth Road. Tonic is famous for its choice of burgers; whether you’re in the mood for beef, veggie, spicy or ostrich, Tonic has the burger for you. There is also the option of nachos, chilli, chicken dishes and a number of other choices. Food is served until 9pm on weekdays. Fast, friendly service and hot chocolate topped with marshmallows and Maltesers are just a couple of reasons to give Tonic a try.

21-23 Old Hawkhill 01382 225 639

141 Nethergate, Dundee 01382 226 103

Clubs & Gigs 5. Fat Sam’s Dundee’s original nightclub, located right in the heart of the city centre.

Opened in December 1983, Fat Sam’s has proved a firm favourite over the years with locals and out-of-towners alike. Each floor caters to different genres, from contemporary to 90s and R’n’B. With various theme nights, live music, and reasonable prices, Fat Sam’s is a must for anyone looking for a fun night out.

31 South Ward Road 01382 228 181

6. Benjamin Barker Barber & Shop A high-end gentleman's barber that also moonlights as a gig venue. Punters can have their locks hacked off whilst enjoying a complimentary beer, and they host invite-only acoustic sessions to a

select few. Sold yet?

212A Perth Road

7. Liquid First opened in November 2008, this nightclub has proved a huge hit with Dundee’s partygoers. A large, well-lit place to dance the night away. There are two separate areas to the club; Liquid & Envy, and a VIP lounge. Booths can be booked from just £30. Two luxury pods, with their own bar, can also be booked for special occasions. Liquid have added their own unique twist to classic cocktails, at affordable prices.

21 Ward Road 01382 205 551

8. The Underground Whatever your taste in music, you’ll not be disappointed with The

Student Handbook 2011–2012 The Skinny 77

Underground. The basement nightclub has something for everyone; with R’n’B, chart, funk and rock. Doors open from 10pm, and entry is free before 11pm.

Entry is £5, and £3.50 for students. The setting feels very much like a London or New York jazz bar. Selected drinks start from £2, and selected shots start from just £1.

DCA

25 South Tay Street 0845 166 6025

Theatre & Art 9. DCA The DCA (Dundee Contemporary Arts) is equally renowned as a cinema, cafe and educational space, and its gallery space in particular is worth further investigation. In the last few years it's gained a reputation for cutting edge exhibitions of both local artists and international stars like Chicks on Speed or Martin Boyce. And it's free! The cinema is also the place to go to see independent films.

52 Nethergate 01382 909 900

10. Dundee Rep Theatre A renowned performing arts organisation, made up of different programmes and companies. First opened in 1939, the building has undergone a series of overhauls, but the experience remains the same. From rock’n’roll shows, to ballet recitals, to Shakespearean classics, the

Rep never fails to deliver. The company works with local schools and colleges to help develop their creative potential.

The Rep also boasts its own bar and restaurant, both of which continue to be very popular.

Tay Square, Dundee 01382 223 530

exhibitions that tend toward interactivity and the existential. Aimed squarely at emerging artists, Generator prides itself on being a cutting-edge gallery space. A £10 annual membership fee also offers the opportunity to showcase your own work.

25-26 Mid Wynd Industrial Estate, 01382 225 982

11. The Little Theatre Round the back of the Wellgate Centre at the foot of the Hilltown, the Little Theatre is a stage for the Dundee Dramatic Society and occasionally hosts other smallscale presentations. There’s a bar to retreat to in the intermission, but the venue is hardly a hub for the local creative scene.

58 Victoria Road 01382 434940

13. Hannah Maclure Centre The Hannah Maclure Centre fosters an admirable approach to engage with the arts in a "social" way, It does this by merging the social space (the cafe, for example) into the exhibition space itself; if that doesn't dissuade your preconceptions of gallery spaces as monuments to aloofness, then you're a lost cause.

12. Generator Now in its 15th year, Generator presents a challenging array of

University of Abertay, 1-3 Bell Street, 01382 308 324

15. Tartan Café Just a few steps from the art school, this Perth Road daytime diner brings agreeable Scottish cuisine with a breakfast that comes highly recommended.

Big comfy sofas, and a propensity to let customers linger awhile, mean that the place is a popular student hangout.

setting. Although the queues may be long on a hot summer’s day, the first taste of ice cream makes up for any wait. Located in Brought Ferry, just yards from the beach, Visocchi’s is busy all year round. A family owned business, with friendly and efficient service. A well-priced place to visit again and again.

53 Perth Road 01382 322338

40 Gray Street, Broughty Ferry 01382 779 297

16. Visocchi’s The most famous ice cream parlour for miles. Visocchi’s also serves authentic, delicious Italian meals in a comfortable

17. Deep Sea Restaurant The very best place to go in Dundee for traditional fish & chips with bread and butter. With a comfortable, old

Eating 14. Agacan At first glance you’d be forgiven for mistaking the Agacan for some kind of outsider art installation, with mosaics of painted crockery and other distinctive creations covering every surface. Step inside, however, and you’re met with a delightful, if rather claustrophobic setup that delivers the most flavoursome kebabs in town. The generous portions are heavy on the meat, and booking ahead is highly recommended. Choosing the takeaway option gets you a guaranteed meal at a reasonable price, but without the eye-popping visuals.

113 Perth Road 01382 644 227

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fashioned setting, the deep Sea makes its customers feel right at home, though there is also a takeaway service. an old breed of restaurant, but one that still proves extremely popular, with fair prices and portions. a dundee institution in its own right, and a particular favourite of the older generation.

and free face painting for kids. the beer and burger deal continues to be a hit, whilst the 2-for-1 milkshakes are a refreshing treat.

Friendly staff and freshly cooked food, with prices that won’t upset the bank balance.

and outside bottle & wine bar. Children are welcome until 8pm. extremely popular with students and all other ages.

10 South tay Street 01382 202 070

20. clarks a firm favourite amongst all dundonians, Clarks has premises in Lochee, Menzieshill, and (perhaps most popular of all) a 24-hour store in Peddie Street. From pizzas to burgers to paninis to stovies, Clarks caters to any appetite. a clean and friendly environment, Clarks is extremely affordable, whether it’s a hearty breakfast before work you’re after, or the perfect snack after a night out.

19. Laing’s bar and kitchen Slap-bang in the centre of dundee’s west end, Laing’s is a popular venue all year round, offering well-cooked food at well good prices. the menu offers a wide variety of freshly-cooked food, from traditional to contemporary dishes. With different offers and deals everyday, there’s plenty of reason to keep going back.

Laing’s also boasts its own beer garden

81 nethergate 01382 224 449

18. ketchup Co-joined with popular bar the Social, ketchup has the feel of a 1950s american diner, with comfortable, spacious booths and retro décor, it is a welcome change from other restaurants. Various deals are offered, including 2-for-1, create your own burger

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