The Skinny December 2006 by The Skinny

LISTINGS CUS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, 8pm, £4 OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue change from previous events., 9pm, Free

THE 48 PLUS DAVID BEATTIES LUCKY TILE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

THE BABY TIGER OPEN MIC NIGHT, CAFÉ ROYAL, Baby Toget bring the PA, you provide the tunes, 9pm, Free

THE BRIEFS PLUS INSTANT AGONY AND SAD SOCIETY, THE THREE TUNS, 8.30pm, £7 THE GIFT PLUS 5 PARK DRIVE, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £12

FRIDAY 15TH DECEMBER

HOWARD’S ALIAS PLUS TAKING CHASE AND THE MISNOMER, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £5 LEE PATTERSON, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free NT AND THE PEOPLE WHO USE THEM, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Also includes Dovetail, 7.30pm, £4.00

WASHINGTON STREET, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free WIRED DESIRE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

SATURDAY 16TH DECEMBER

SATURDAY 23RD DECEMBER

DAKOTA, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free EPIC 26, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Indie rock, 7.30pm, £4 SUGARHOUSE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free THE DEMONS EYE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4 THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free UNDERBELLY PLUS ELKIN, THE LIQUID ROOM, TBC, £TBC

SUNDAY 24TH DECEMBER

OATBEANIE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 3pm,

MONDAY 25TH DECEMBER

TURKEY, YOUR PLACE, Unless your vegan, nevertheless, the Dr Who special will be viewed by many., All Day, Free

TUESDAY 26TH DECEMBER

TURKEY SANGERS, YOUR PLACE, May also include

BABY TIGER/IS THIS MUSIC? XMAS PARTY, CAFÉ

some sort of Indiana Jones viewing., All Day, Free

ROYAL, Featuring Le Reno Amps and Pilotcan, 8.30pm,

WEDNESDAY 27TH DECEMBER

£5

FUNKSPIEL PLUS THE REMNANT KINGS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, 7.30pm, £4

GONZA A GO GO, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free JOJOCOKE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4 PROPAGANDHI , THE EXCHANGE, 7pm, £10 THE BELGRANOS, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free THE COMMON REDSTARTS PLUS THE CIGARETTES AND THE CLICKS, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £4

THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free

SUNDAY 17TH DECEMBER

JOHNNY AND THE ENTRIES PLUS GUMMI BAKO’S JUNIOR JUDO, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Girl-Boy DIY Punk plus Fence collectivists, 8pm, £4

OPEN MIC NIGHT, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 3pm, Free

PALAVER, ROYAL OAK, Wee Folk Club, 8.30pm, £3 PENNY BLACKS PLUS FIVE PARK DRIVE AND THE ONE DAY SPEAKERS, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Seller shows off his new hair cut, stop calling him Jesus kids, 9pm, £4 PRIME SUSPECT, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free SABAI, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

SL RECORDS / HOBO XMAS BASH, THE BONGO CLUB, Includes Dawn of the Replicants and Saint Judes Infirmary, see our feature in Sounds, 9pm, Free Before 11pm

MONDAY 18TH DECEMBER

JUST TURN UP, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE GREAT JAM SESSION, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

TUESDAY 19TH DECEMBER

BAND SHOWCASE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £6 FOLK N’ FRIENDS, THE WAVERLEY, Open Mic Night, 8.30pm, Free

NORTH SEA GAS, THE VILLAGE, Leith Folk Club, 8pm, £5

STATUS QUO, USHER HALL, Don’t go backstage at a Quo gig pilgrim, on no, do not., 7.30pm, £29 THE SHJQ QUARTET, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

WEDNESDAY 20TH DECEMBER

THE DRAYMIN PLUS ROCKET FOX, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

EDINBURGH LIVE

THE ALVAS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free THE JONNY FONTAINE BAND PLUS HARLEM 75, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

THURSDAY 28TH DECEMBER

OI POLLOI PLUS THE GIN GOBLINS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Also includes Filthpact, 8pm, £5

OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue change from previous events., 9pm, Free SOMETHING ILLEGAL, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

FRIDAY 29TH DECEMBER

BIG TUNA , WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £6 DIGNAN, DOWELL AND WHITE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

FAST:THE LEG, THE BONGO CLUB, 11pm, £5 THE BELGRANOS, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free

SATURDAY 30TH DECEMBER

BLACKJACK BLUES BAND, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free

CABAL, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £6 THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free THE VACANT TOURISTS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Indie rock, 7.30pm, £4

SUNDAY 31ST DECEMBER

BIG HAND, WHISTLE BINKIES, Always a ska-punk delight, Midnight, £4

CONCERT IN THE GARDENS, ROSS THEATRE, A hogmany celebration featuring Pet Shop Boys and Paolo Nutini, Sepultura were unavailable to participate this year. , 10pm, £33 MEXICO, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free

MONDAY 1ST JANUARY

SCO - VIENNESE NEW YEAR CONCERT, USHER HALL, 7pm, £8-£24

TUESDAY 2ND JANUARY

HANDEL’S MESSIAH, USHER HALL, 12pm, £24

WEDNESDAY 3RD JANUARY

NATIONAL YOUTH ORCHESTRA OF SCOTLAND, USHER HALL , 7.30pm, £10-£20

WILLIAM DOUGLAS AND THE WHEEL, THE ALVAS AND VISITOR, THE BONGO, 10pm, Free Before 11.30, £3 after

THURSDAY 21ST DECEMBER

ANDI NEATE PLUS QUIRKUS, CAFÉ ROYAL, 8.30pm, £TBC

OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue change from previous events., 9pm, Free

THE DELOREANS PLUS BEAKER, WHISTLE BINKIES, Marty! 1.21 gigawatts!, 9pm, Free

WITHOUT MALICE PLUS STARRY WISDOM CULT, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

FRIDAY 22ND DECEMBER

CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8pm, £6 DA HOOLEY - CEILIDH, ST. BRIDES CENTRE, Adult Learning Project Fundraiser, 8pm, £8 (£5) MISSING CAT, WHISTLE BINKIES, Jamming shennanigans with the ‘cat, 6pm, Free

THE BALLENTINES PLUS 5 PARK DRIVE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

THE SCARECROWS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

62 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

www. skinnymag. co. uk

THE SKINNY TEAM PUBLISHER MANAGING EDITORS MARKETING MANAGER GLASGOW MANAGER DEPUTY EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR PICTURES SUBEDIT & ART MUSIC GLASGOW MUSIC CLUBS

CONTRIBUTORS CLUBS LISTINGS ONLINE ASSISTANT ONLINE FASHION EDITOR FILM BOOKS LGBT GAMES LAYOUT ASSISTANCE

FATSO MEDIA LTD SOPHIE KYLE & XAVIER TOBY MIKE MCGRAIL GRAEME PARK RUPERT THOMSON CHARLOTTE RODENSTEDT JANE FENTON JAY SHUKLA DAVE KERR GARETH K. VILE ALEX BURDEN & BRAM GIEBEN ANDREW COOKE ALEX KIRK PAUL MITCHELL CLAIRE MORRISON PAUL GREENWOOD KEIR HIND NINE JOSH WILSON IAN SINKAMBA KAY BENNETT KIM CARPENTER EMMA BREMNER ROBBIE THOMSON SCOTT METHVEN

EDINBURGH LIVE FRIDAY 1ST DECEMBER

EDITORIAL

November is finally over and the season is getting down to some serious winteriness at last. Cold crisp days, cosy woolly hats and scarves, frosty windows, guiltless carbohydrate and sugar consumption, and lots of being indoors. Of course, the weather is in the top three for conversation topics at this time of year, along with bus services and flu jabs, but the inhospitable winter weather must be at least a contributing factor to the great inventiveness of the Scots. Who else was more likely to invent gas lamps and electric lightbulbs? Its hardly surprising either that waterproof fabrics were also invented by a Scotsman, and when the horizontal rain sets in, people get their hoods up, heads down and find the urge to be or go outside completely gone; making a decidedly less sociable season. It follows then, over the decades, that the Scottish would also be driven to create a number of essential modern communication and entertainment devices, such as the adhesive postage stamp, the telly, the telephone, and a

ARAB STRAP, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Final date in the capital

motion picture camera and the fax machine, in order to amuse through the long dark days. A variety of other, possibly more surprising, useful objects and processes were also invented by Scots: electric and steam locomotives (to escape the weather), the bicycle and pneumatic tyre (to make possible escape more comfortable), advanced road design with a camber (to get away quicker), bleach (to get the mud stains out), an array of types of rifle (just to end the misery), fountain pen (the bored house-bound Scottish writer’s best friend), and of course the ATM (save it for a rainy day). However, we are not living in a gas-lit and coal-fired time-warp and modern Scotland has loads more to offer than cross-stitch in front of the wireless. The snow is coming! Caingorm, Glenshee, Glencoe, the Nevis Range

and the Lecht will all be coated in white this month, and there is nothing quite like being on a snowy Scottish mountain in the middle of December. Especially if you are a cool person with a snowboard. OK, so maybe optimism about being outside in Scottish winter is a little too much to bear, but what better excuse to get yourself down to some of the best parties of the year to warm up with a little dancefloor action? Take a taxi. Check out the Beats section for a roundup of the best Christmas and Hogmanay bashes, and if you are stuck for Christmas presents, Sounds’ Skinny Top 10 Albums of the year will give you some ideas and you might win something worth giving in the Free Stuff – DVD player would put you in Da’s good books. Oh, and there are also some fabulous articles to read this issue.

for the Falkirk duo, see our feature in Sounds, 7pm, £12 ASSEMBLY , CAFÉ ROYAL, Also includes Graystar and Employee of the Month, 8.30pm, £5 BARON, STUDIO 24, 10.30pm, £10 FAST: THE GUSSETS, THE BONGO CLUB, 11pm, £5

FLATLINER PLUS MIDNIGHT STILLS, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Also includes Narration, 9pm, £4

LEE PATTERSON, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free LIANE CARROLL PLUS CATHIE RAE TRIO, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10

STRANGE BREW, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE SADIES, CLUB EGO, Punk, surf, bluegrass and cosmic country, 8.30pm, £10

THE USUAL SUSPECTS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4 VAN MORRISON, USHER HALL, 7pm, £32 WIRED DESIRE, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Rock and metal, also includes The Illusion Principle, 7.30pm, £4

SATURDAY 2ND DECEMBER

CANDYTHIEF , HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Also includes Player Piano and The Red Well, 7.30pm, £5 (£4) CAPDOWN, SUBWAY COWGATE, TBC, £8

Wrap up warm, Sophie x

DISTANT SOUL PLUS BRADY COLE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

DROPKICK , CAFÉ ROYAL, Also includes The Sundowns

CONTRIBUTORS

and Attic Lights, 8.30pm, £5 MOISHE’S BAGEL , THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10 ROGUESTAR, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

Yasmin Ali, The Staff of Alphabet Video, Euan Andrews, Fabienne A pollo, Liam A rnold, Luc Benyon, Finbarr Bermingham, Dan Bland, Ilani Blanke, Jamie Borthwick, Ian Brandon, Ally Brown, Taliska Burgess, James Roderick Burns, Rose McCann, Stephen Carty, Colin Chapman, Charlotte Cooper, Alma Cork, Heather Crumley, Natalie Doyle, Michael Duffy, Laura Esslemont, Lucy Faringold, Neil Ferguson, Bruno F-K, Hugo Fluendy, Duncan Forgan, Michael Gallagher, Lucy Gallwey, Megan Garriock, Alasdair Gillon, Simone Gray, Penny Green, Paul Greenwood, Jasper Hamill, Billy Hamilton, Suzanne Hart, Vince Hillaire, Sarah Hunter, Caroline Hurley, Marcie Hume, Diana Kiernander, Hamza Khan, Margaret Kirk, Omar Kudos, Ted M, Rhona Macalister, Ali Maloney, Wendy Martin, Eve McCann, Milo McLaughlin, Alec Mcleod, Charles McGarry, Sean Mcnamara, Colan Mehaffey, Sean Michaels, Nick Mitchell, Suzanne Mitchell, Lara Moloney, Nosh, Jonny Ogg, Struan Otter, Jack O’Sullivan, Graeme Park, Imogen Park, Julie Paterson, Chris Pickering, Tony the Pony, Ioana Poprowka, Dave Reid, Angus Ross, Jon Seller, Celia Sontag, Karen Taggart, Peter Walker, Lucy Weir, Robert Westwood,

SMOKED GLASS PLUS VITAMIN FLINTHEART, THE LIQUID ROOM, TBC, £6

THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD,

SUNDAY 3RD DECEMBER

SEND YOUR ANSWERS, ALONG WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS AND CONTACT NUMBER TO: COMPETITIONS@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

The hotly tipped new next-gen tactical-shooter Rainbow Six Vegas (the 360 version) is available to TEN lucky Skinny readers. Take ‘em down! (as my mother used to say).

PENPUSHERS PLUS SILENI AND THE EATERS, BANNERhiphop, 9pm, £4

STEVE HARLEY AND COCKNEY REBEL, THE QUEEN’S HALL, TBC, £20

TARNEYBACKLE, ROYAL OAK, Wee Folk Club, 8.30pm, £3

MONDAY 4TH DECEMBER

3 MEN AND BLACK, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £12 CAPTAIN KICK & THE COWBOY RAMBLERS PLUS KING CHARLES, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Also includesNoah & The Whale, 9pm, £4

Simply let us know where else in the magazine you have seen this cheeky little elf!

JUST TURN UP, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE GREAT JAM SESSION, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free TOM MCRAE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, TBC, £13

TUESDAY 5TH DECEMBER

BAND SHOWCASE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £6 FOLK N’ FRIENDS, THE WAVERLEY, Open Mic Night, 8.30pm, Free

To get your filthy paws on a copy, tell us why you’re going to be disappointed this Christmas. Best answers win games - you lucky people.

Ran! Kurosawa’s King Lear-based epic is a Skinny favourite (see the DVD section), and, now out in special edition 2dvd format, is available for readers to win. That’s the way it should be. We have five copies of this fine film courtesy of Optimum Home Entertainment. To win one, tell us which Shakespeare play Throne of Blood, another Kurosawa classic, is based on.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

75, and Kuroneka, TBC, £TBC

RUSH HOUR SOUL PLUS THE 48 AND CHOCYAMO, CAFÉ ROYAL, 8.30pm, £5

SORREN MACLEAN , WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE COMPLETE STONE ROSES, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7.30pm, £10

THE HUSTLERS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

SATURDAY 9TH DECEMBER

BLACKJACK BLUES BAND, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free CRASH MY MODEL CAR PLUS THE LAST GREAT WILDERNESS, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £4 CREVIS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4 DARKWATER PLUS THE DIALS, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

PRIVATE JACKSON PLUS MISS THE OCCUPIER AND THE ROHYPSTERS, CAFÉ ROYAL, 8.30pm, £5 ROOTS MANUVA, CABARET VOLTAIRE, With full live band, see our feature in Beats, TBC, £12

THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD,

SUNDAY 10TH DECEMBER £18.50

HOBO: IN DOG WE TRUST, THE BONGO CLUB, 10pm, Free Before 11.30, £3 after

LEATHER ZOO PLUS TO THE RESCUE, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £4

OATBEANIE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC AFTERNOON, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 3pm, Free

PIGEON DETECTIVES, CABARET VOLTAIRE, TBC, £6 SKINDRED, STUDIO 24, Muchos metal mayhem, 7pm, £8 THE MIDNIGHT STILLS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Fundraiser to buy bikes for a Palestinian scout group, 8pm, £5 (£4) TOM SPIERS, ROYAL OAK, Wee Folk Club, 8.30pm, £3

MONDAY 11TH DECEMBER

JUST TURN UP, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE GREAT JAM SESSION, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

TUESDAY 12TH DECEMBER

BAND SHOWCASE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free DUELS , CABARET VOLTAIRE, 8pm, £7 FOLK N’ FRIENDS, THE WAVERLEY, Open Mic Night, 8.30pm, Free

THE BLUETONES, THE LIQUID ROOM, Return of the Britpop captains from yesteryear, 7.30pm, £12 THE SHJQ QUARTET, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

WEDNESDAY 6TH DECEMBER

CHRISTMAS WITH THE RAT PACK, USHER HALL, 8pm,

AIRSPACE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free ANDY M STEWART, PLEASANCE, Edinburgh Folk Club, 8pm, £6 (£5)

RANDY CRAWFORD AND THE JOE SAMPLE TRIO,

See our review of Kiddo’s new EP in Sounds, 6pm, Free

TOMMY SMITH AND ARILD ANDERSEN, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10

THURSDAY 7TH DECEMBER

BABY TIGER ACOUSTIC NIGHT, CAFÉ ROYAL, Includes Andy Lang, Rob St John and Jordan Ogg, 8.30pm, £2 HIGH 5 ALIVE, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £4

LITTLE GREEN MACHINE PLUS SCOPE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

COUGAR LOUNGE, Also includes The Ballentines, Harlem

WEDNESDAY 13TH DECEMBER

THE BLUETONES, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £12 THE DAMAGE ROOM PLUS KIDDO, WHISTLE BINKIES,

To be in with a chance of winning, write and tell us how many stars we awarded James Yorkston in the last issue of the Skinny. Deadline for this competition: 4 Dec (so get your skates on).

BLUE ZINC, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free FRED EAGLESMITH, CABARET VOLTAIRE, 8pm, £10 RECLINER PLUS MYRIAD CREATURES AND TWIN ATLANTIC, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £4 ROCK AGAINST RACISM: ADRIANA, GOODSON, THE

PETER BJORN AND JOHN, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £10 SHEPHEARD, THE VILLAGE, 8pm, £5 THE SHJQ QUARTET, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

USHER HALL, 7.30pm, £27.50, £24.50

VERSAcoustic is a tour of exclusive stripped down performances promoted by Tennents’ crisp new beer Versa. Their exclusive launch night, at The Goat in Glasgow (6 Dec), features sets from two of Glasgow’s most exciting new bands, Popup and The Yellow Bentines, alongside the inimitable James Yorkston. Tickets for the launch event are like gold dust, but the Skinny has managed to get its hands on 5 pairs.

FRIDAY 8TH DECEMBER

BOJWOLB , WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free BOOTLEG BEATLES, USHER HALL, 7.30pm, £22.50-

3pm, Free

Home Cinema Centre in Edinburgh are offering a DVD player with excellent picture resolution to the most observant Skinny reader of the month. It’s a Pioneer DV-393 DVD player, with universal playback and all kinds of special features.

launch, 8pm, £TBC

BONGO CLUB, Late night rock n’roll for justified sinners,

MAN’S UNDERWORLD, The finest in cutting edge Scottish

REGULATIONS. THE DEADLINE FOR ENTRIES IS DECEMBER 20TH UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED.

SARA AND THE SNAKES, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, CD

Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free

OPEN MIC AFTERNOON, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD,

HAVE A LOOK FOR MORE SKINNY FREEBIES ONLINE AT WWW.SKINNYMAG.CO.UK, ALONG WITH OUR COMPETITION

change from previous events., 9pm, Free

BALDEGO, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free HOBO: MYSTERY JUICE AND ROYS IRON DNA, THE 11pm, Free Before 11.30, £3 after LOSTPROPHETS, CORN EXCHANGE, TBC, £17 MOSTLY AUTUMN, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £15 OATBEANIE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

FREE STUFF

OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue

man makes it two in one night. Also includesThe Closing and them local disco indie cats, OBE, 7.30pm, £7

WILLARD GRANT CONSPIRACY PLUS ROBERT FISHER, CABARET VOLTAIRE, 7pm, £11

by Lewis Hosie

THE BONGO CLUB, 7.30pm, £13

TAIRE, 9pm, £5

United Front, 8pm, £4

COVER DESIGN: LEIGH PEARSON, WWW.LEIGHPEARSON.COM

QUANTIC SOUL ORCHESTRA PLUS SPANKY WILSON,

MADELEINE PEYROUX, THE QUEEN’S HALL, 7pm, £19 MARK MORRISS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Bluetones front-

WASTED NATION, THE THREE TUNS, Plus Down to Kill and

Mike Byrne, Jack Waddington, Cara Buchan, John Brydon, Mirren Daykin, Neil Douglas, Ed Fisher, James Gray, Kristina Milic, Alain Irureta, Lorenzo Dalberto.

BINKIES, 6pm, Free

Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free

THE VIBRATORS PLUS THE ROHYPSTERS, CABARET VOL-

PHOTOGRAPHERS

NIKI KING AND MARCUS FORD, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10 ONE DAY SPEAKERS PLUS HOLLOW POINT, WHISTLE

LIVE LISTINGS LIVE MUSIC LISTINGS

THE SKINNY

BLISS CREEK PLUS NORTH FOUNDATION, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

£23.50-£19.50

DANCING MICE PLUS THE MESCALITAS, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Also includes Broken Records, 9pm, £4

HOLLOW HEART PARLOUR: BILLY BATES, JESS BRYANT , HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Also includes My Kappa Roots and Son of Thom, 7.30pm, £5

JEWEL AND ESK, THE BONGO CLUB, Showcasing talent from the music dept at Jewel & Esk college, 9pm, £3 OLD BLIND DOGS, PLEASANCE, Edinburgh Folk Club, 8pm, £5 SUB OPT (ACOUSTIC), WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

THURSDAY 14TH DECEMBER

DEGRASSI PLUS THE ELECTIC SOUND CONSPIRACY, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Best of the local rock scene,

also features Broken Records, exponents of fine driven country blues, with a cello, 9pm, £4

INDAFUSION PLUS BO DEADLY AND FROTHING MU-

email listings to: listings@skinnymag. co. uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

GLASGOW LIVE

THURSDAY 14 DECEMBER

SUNDAY 24 DECEMBER

SENSATIONAL ALEX HARVEY BAND *RESCHEDULED FROM 15 DEC, ABC, 7pm, £15.00 LITTLE GREEN MACHINE, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE GHOSTIES + BLACK MARY + BLUE LABEL VIOLENCE, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc PAOLO NUTINI , BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, sold out ATTICA RAGE, CAPITOL, including a free CD, 8pm, £5 CULTURE CLUB , CARLING ACADEMY , 7.30pm, tbc THE MELVINS , GARAGE, Rock veterans, 8pm, tbc GAVIN GORDON, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £5.00 GIRASOUL PRESENTS SAN SEBASTIAN + SUSPIRE + DOWN THE TINY STEPS + GAVIN GORDON, KING TUT’S, 8.30pm, £5.00

‘OBAN: IT’S NOT THAT FAR’ FESTIVAL LAUNCH,

NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

DISCOMILITIA, ROSES FOR THE DEAD, THE VIBE, SILVER BULLET AND CONONEL TURN ON, ROCKERS, 7pm:00, £4

ANDREA MARINI, TCHAIOVNA,

OTAGO LANE, singer

songwriter in the Bob Dylan / Leonard Cohen vein, 8pm, £2

COBA FYNN, RAINBOWSHEEP, JOHN B MCKENNA, ROB THOMSON , THE LIQUID SHIP, , 8pm, £2 NO KILTER + MY FINAL WISH , BLOC, 8pm, Free

FRIDAY 15 DECEMBER

JACE AND MR MAN, 13TH NOTE, 8pm, £4 SENSATIONAL ALEX HARVEY BAND *RESCHEDULED TO 14 DEC , ABC, 7pm, rescheduled ENDRICK BROTHERS, ABC2, 7pm, £7.00 RICK BUCKLER AND THE GIFT, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £12.00 SAW DOCTORS EXTRA DATE, BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, £19.50

THE SAW DOCTORS , BARROWLAND , 7.30pm, GAVIN URIE, BEANSCENE, WOODLANDS, 9pm, Free PAOLO NUTINI, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, sold out JJ GILMOUR, CLASSIC GRAND, 8.30pm, £12.00 VAN MORRISON, CLYDE AUDITORIUM, Grumpy Celtic Soul Genius, 7.30pm, £30.00

RICK WITTER AND THE DUKES , KING TUTS, Loose guitar indie, 8.30pm, £10.00

ONLY JOE KANE-THE MARTIAL ARTS-THE LIKES OF US, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc MAIDON SCOTLAND 4PM – 6PM, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 MEXICO + TOUCH N’ GO, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 IRON MAIDEN, SECC, 7.30pm, sold out WHISPERS IN THE ATTIC, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, mellow experimental music, 8pm, free

READING ALLOWED, TCHAIOVNA,

SOUTHSIDE, poetry

and short story readings, 8pm, free ANIMAL FARM , BLOC, 9pm, Free

SATURDAY 16 DECEMBER

ING + FOR YOUR SINS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc JOHN LEGEND, CARLING ACADEMY, Smooth soulful grooves, 7.30pm, £25.00

ROCCO DE LUCA + LUCKY JIM + PAUL NAPIER, KING TUT’S, Glamour and guitar heroics, 8.30pm:00, £7.00

KILTER CHRISTMAS CEILIDH, PIPING CENTRE, 8pm, £20.00

TUESDAY 19 DECEMBER

NON ZERO, THE BALLENTINES, BLUE WHISKEY & 3 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 OUR LUNAR ACTIVITIES-SYMBOLICS, NICE’N’SLEAZY,

trio: Colin McGibbon (drums), Dave Dominey (bass), Chris Devoti (guitar), 8pm, £2

WEDNESDAY 20 DECEMBER

CROSSFIRE / USUAL SUSPECTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 SNOW PATROL, SECC, 19:30, *Sold Out* THE RIOTONES (LIVE) , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free BEAUTIFUL SOUP , BLOC, Energetic trio, 7:00, Free

SUNDAY 17 DECEMBER

HANK BARRICK, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE TOMMYS, BARROWLAND 2, Punky wit, 7pm:00, £6.00

THE GLASGOW SONGWRITERS, BLACKFRIARS, 21:00, Free

HAMPER, CAPITOL, 8pm, £5 THE ROOTS, CARLING ACADEMY, Conscious hip-hop, 7.30pm, £17.50

ROCKETFOX, CLASSIC GRAND, 8.30pm, £5.00 QUINN, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £6.00 NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB + QUINN, KING TUT’S, 8.30pm, £7.00

INSANE WRESTLING PRESENTS STOP! HE’S ALREADY DEAD, MARYHILL COMMUNITY HALLS, 8.30pm, £7.00 STATUS QUO, ROCKERS, 4pm, £4 STATUS QUO , SECC. , 7.30pm, tbc LIQUID XMAS FEATURING THE STATE BROADCASTERS, THE BNAD, ROBBIE MCINNES , THE LIQUID SHIP, , 8pm, £2

MONDAY 18 DECEMBER

FOR YOUR SINS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £4.00 RAGING SPEEDHORN, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £6.00 DELIMSERGE + TORNE + ARIEL CAUSED THE HAUNT-

60 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

WOODEND TENNIS + BOWLING CLUB, 8pm, £14.00

TUT’S, 8.30pm, £6.00

GRIM NORTHERN SOCIAL, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £7.50 ORIGINALS*, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free RIDERS ON THE STORM FEATURING RAY MANZAREK, ROBBY KRIEGER AND IAN ASTBURY , CLYDE AUDITORIUM,

MONDAY 25 DECEMBER,

Doors reunited, 7.30pm, £35.00

TUESDAY 26 DECEMBER

SATURDAY 30 DECEMBER

ROOST / USUAL SUSPECTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 THE GRIM NORTHERN SOCIAL + KEMPES, KING TUT’S, Glam rock in the stadium style., 8.30pm, £7.50 THE ALMIGHTY, GARAGE, 8pm, £15.00

KNUCKLEDUST, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

and beyond from this fingerstyle guitarist, 8pm, £2 MY LATEST NOVEL, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £8.00

THROUGH THE BELLS WITH THE DEMONS EYE, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

HOGMANAY PARTY WITH FINDO GASK & FRIENDS, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

HOGMANAY CEILIDH, THE FERRY, 8pm, £35.00 COLOURS MEETS HED KANDI FETURING TOM DE NEEF, ROB WILDER, JON MANCINI, TUNNEL, 8pm, £23 THE RONELLES + MY SHOTGUN SISTER + THE APPLE SCUFFS. DOORS 8PM, KING TUT’S, Rock’n’roll reinvented, 8.30pm, £6.00

BACK TO THE FUTURE, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, £23 INSIDE OUT NEW YEARS EVE FEATURING MATT HARDWICK, AGNELLI AND NELSON, ADAM SHERIDEN, KUTSKI AND MORE, ARCHES, 8pm, £25.00 FUNHOUSE V CLUB OLUM FEATURING KOBAI, PHANNICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc TOM BAND, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £7.00 MULTI-COLOURED TEA TIME CABARET, TCHAIOVNA, THURSDAY 28 DECEMBER THE FUNHOUSE VS CLUB OLUM - NEW YEARS EVE OTAGO LANE, open mic night hosted by Tom Snowball, INDIEVOUS X FEATURING BEATNIC PRESTIGE, CAPITOL, EXTRAVAGANZA + KOBAI + THE PHANTOM BAND + 8pm, free 7pm, £5 FRIGHTENED RABBIT, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc MICHAEL SIMONS, TCHAIOVNA, SOUTHSIDE, folk, blues LILY O’LÉ AND FRIENDS, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, singer CLUB NOIR HOGMANAY, CLASSIC GRAND, 8.30pm, and beyond from this fingerstyle guitarist, 8pm, £2

DANCES ON THE SAND WITH JEAN HONEYMOON, PAUL J, CARRAGH NUGENT + SPECIAL GUEST. , THE

songwriters and bands, 8pm, £2 SPARE SNARE, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £6.00

£20.00 until 24/12/0

FOUR GOOD MEN FEATURING DEREK FORBES, MICK TUESDAY 2 JANUAR BAD MANNERS, THE FERRY, 8pm, £20.00 MACNEIL (SIMPLE MINDS)BRUCE WATSON (BIG REPEAT TO FADE + STANDBY, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc CINEMATICS, KING TUTS, Melodic emotional guitar music, COUNTRY)IAN DONALDSON (H2O), ARCHES, 8pm,

RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

8.30pm, £6.00

DURHTY KIMMO’S BUFTY -FEST , BLOC, 9pm, Free OCEAN COLOUR SCENE , BARROWLAND, 7.30pm,

£14.00

WEDNESDAY 3 JANUARY

FRIDAY 29 DECEMBER

TARGET 32 + PART TIME SIGNALS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

*sold out*

TABLE 57 + COLLAR UP, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE CUTS + THE LONG WALK HOME + R.O.T.S, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THURSDAY 21 DECEMBER

CALL THE SKINNY TICKET LINE FOR TICKETS TO ANY OF THE GIGS IN PINK ON THIS PAGE. DON’T SAY WE DIDN’T WARN YA!

FALL TO ORDER, DEMASIADO, SURGING OF FLUX, ASSOCIATE, MARCHA LENTA & RED STRING, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

THE SADIES BARON OPRY, 8pm, £10 MORRISEY BAD DANCER + THE 44’S + GALCHEN, BARFLY, ExpanTHE DYKEENES sive indie-rock, 8.30pm, tbc THE REZILLOS, THE DAMNED AND THE BEAT PARKA + THE BLACK RATS + SIMPLY RONNIE, BARFLY, MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD 8.30pm, tbc PULL TIGER TAIL TOM MCCRAE FRIDAY 22 DECEMBER NEW FOUND GLORY BLIND ALLEY (EX GUN) + GUESTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 LAPSUS LINGUAE-DEAD OR AMERICAN-HELLHOUSE, PLACEBO DJ YODA NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc BASEMENT JAXX THE MAGIC CARPET CABARET, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, Jim McAteer presents a night of singer songwriters DIRTY PRETTY THINGS ROOTS MANUVA (LIVE SET) and bands, 8pm, £2 SKINRED JOE STRUMMER TRIBUTE NIGHT, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, TENACIOUS D £7.00 THE POGUES THE KEELIES*, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free THE FARM DAS BOOT , BLOC, 10pm, Free THE ROOTS RODDY HART, ABC2, Scottish singer-song-writer, 7pm, £8.50 OCEAN COLOUR SCENE THE FRIDAYS + TRAP 6 + PLAYTONE, BARFLY, 8.30pm, UNKLE BOB MY LATEST NOVEL SATURDAY 23 DECEMBER PET SHOP BOYS AND PAULO NUTINO HONKEY MOOKS / USUAL SUSPECTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, STICKY FINGERS (CHRISTMAS PARTY), GRAND OLE

£4

A TRUE STORY, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc STARLA RECORDS NIGHT. , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free UNCLE JOHN AND WHITELOCK, KING TUTS, Zombie Blues, 8.30pm, £6.50

BEAT ROUTE *, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free HARDCORE TIL I DIE, ARCHES, 8pm, £17 RED SNOWMAN + IN ERNEST + TEMPERCALM, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

HUNDRED REASONS THE BOY MOST LIKELY GET CAPE, WEAR CAPE, FLY RAY LA MONTAGNE RAY LA MONTAGNE CUE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR HOT CLUB DE PARIS HELLOGOODBYE

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

DEC-01 EGO, EDINBURGH DEC-01 STUDIO, 24EDINBURGH DEC-02 SECC, GLASGOW DEC-02 GARAGE GLASGOW DEC-03 CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW DEC-03 ARCHES, GLASGOW DEC-03 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-04 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-05 CARLING ACADEMY GLASGOW DEC-06 SECC, GLASGOW DEC-08 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-08 SECC, GLASGOW DEC-08 CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW DEC-09 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-10 STUDIO 24, EDINBURGH DEC-11 SECC, GLASGOW DEC-11&12CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW DEC-16 LIQUID ROOM, EDINBURGH DEC-17 CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW DEC-20 BARROWLAND, GLASGOW DEC-26 KING TUTS, GLASGOW DEC-27 KING TUTS, GLASGOW DEC-31 PRINCES STREET GARDENS, EDINBURGH

JANUARY: JAN-9 JAN-19 JAN-21 JAN-22 JAN-24 JAN-25 JAN-28 JAN-27

KING TUTS, GLASGOW ORAN MOR, GLASGOW QMU, GLASGOW CLYDE AUDITORIUM, GLASGOW USHER HALL, EDINBURGH CATHOUSE,, GLASGOW KING TUTS, GLASGOW QMU, GLASGOW

www. skinnymag. co. uk

6-11 LIFESTYLE Gutter talk Ugly for Art Go Away - Soho

6 7 11

12-13 LGBT 14-17 FILM

2006 Reviews Kate Winslet

Transgender Special p12

16 17

18 DVDs 19 GAMES 20-21 THEATRE 22-23 BOOKS 24-25 ARTS 26-39 SOUNDS Riders On The Storm 2006 Round-Up Arab Strap Tenacious D Album Reviews SL Records Single Reviews

26 32 34 34 36 37 38

Tv on the Radio p32

40-49 BEATS Arrested Development Roots Manuva

0871 230 4436 DECEMBER:

CONTENTS Transgender Special

SUNDAY 31 DECEMBER

8.30pm, tbc

RADIO LUCIFER, THE FAKES, MUTLEY, THE CONVIC- INSIDE OUT MEETS FIRE IT UP AND LIVE AS FEATURING TION, 50% INCOMPLETE, CRYSTAL KICKS, NINE EDDIE HALLIWELL, JUDGE JULES AND MORE, ARCHES, FINGER NIGEL & THE IVANS, ROCKERS, Hardcore rock, 8pm, £20.00 7pm, £4 VEGETABLE STATE, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc JONNY & THE ROBOTS-THE CHILD ECHO, AB/CD, CATHOUSE, 8.30pm, £10.00

OTAGO LANE, acoustic soundscapes featuring Mole Harness and Jasper Leyland, 8pm, £2 FRIGHTENED RABBIT, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £5.00 OCEAN COLOUR SCENE , BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, *sold out*

paranoid swelling rock, 8pm, tbc

KEVIN MONTGOMERY BAND FEATURING AL PERKINS,

SCOTT MAC DONALD, BILLY BATES, HARRIET GLOVWEDNESDAY 27 DECEMBER ER , THE LIQUID SHIP, , 8pm, £2 WE ARE THE PHYSICS, KING TUTS, Hard working anxious FAT COW FARMS ROCK NIGHT, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 COMBAT ROCK , NICE’N’SLEAZY, clash tribute, 8pm, tbc white funk, 8.30pm, £5.00 CANDIRU JAZZ, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, modern jazz IZO FITZROY , BLOC, 8pm, Free MARTINS ROOM + THE CLICKS + KICKTOKILL, BARFLY, standards played by our resident trio, 8pm, £2 8.30pm, tbc MICHAEL SIMONS, TCHAIOVNA, SOUTHSIDE, folk, blues

GOLDIE LOOKIN CHAIN, GARAGE, 8pm, £15.00 SUPERSYSTEM, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £7.00 SUPERSYSTEM + BAYAN + MIDNIGHT MACHINE, KING CROOKED REEL*, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free TERRA DIABLO-CARSON-MUCUS, NICE’N’SLEAZY,

HOT LOVE (T-REX MANIA ), ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 THE AD’S, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc AMPERSAND + EXIT PILOT + HANK BARRICK, KING

HEADSTONES, UBER SCHWEIN-HUND, ROCKETFOX & 3 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 SILENCERS, THE FERRY, 8pm, £14.00 8pm, tbc UNKLE BOB, KING TUTS, Folk pop, 8.30pm, £6.00 BALLBOY, ORAN MOR, 8pm, £8.00 WINTER PARTY 2006, ARCHES, 8pm, £20.00 PUSHED FOR TIME, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, funky jazz JUST SUNDAY + MR ALPHABET + SOME BOY, BARFLY,

COBRA GRANDE-INFORMATION CONTROL-THE SLEEP WALKERS, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc THE IMPOSSIBLE FLOWERS & FRIENDS, TCHAIOVNA,

TUT’S, 8.30pm:, £7.00

OTAGO LANE, singer songwriter duo strongly influenced by the blues, 8pm, £2 VEGAS, THE FERRY, 8pm, £9.00

THE CITISINS + 4 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm:00, £4 BLANK EXPRESSIONS, THE JURORS + 3 BANDS TBC, YAMAN, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, sitar & flute 8pm, £2 ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

THOMAS TRUAX, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £5.00 THE SCUFFERS, BARROWLAND 2, 7.45pm, £6 PHARRELL, CARLING ACADEMY, R’n’B superstar, 7.30pm, £30.00

WING AND A PRAYER, TCHAIOVNA,

CONTENTS

LISTINGS

40 42

50-63 LISTINGS Tenacious D p34

£10.00 £11.00 £36.00 £9.00 £22.50 £12.50 £6.00 £14.50 £16.50 £23.50 £11.00 £23.50 £15.00 £13.00 £9.50 £28.00 £26.00 £15.00 £17.50 £25.00 £6.00 £8.00 £43.00

THE SKINNY RATING SYSTEM EXPLAINED 1 Skinny: Anything that receives one Skinny is probably best avoided. Chances are it will suck the will to live straight out of you. In other words, god awful baws. 2 Skinnys: Boring. Bog-standard or hugely derivative. Only for hardcore aficionados of the genre. 3 Skinnys: A good, solid rating. You’ll have a fine time but you won’t be bowled over. 4 Skinnys: Excellent stuff. Unmissable if you’re into this sort of thing. 5 Skinnys: A rare honour indeed; a must-see for all and sundry. Sublime. ADVERTISING SALES INFORMATION EMAIL: SKINNY@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK PHONE: 0131 467 4630

£13.00 £10.00 £9.00 £17.50 £17.50 £9.50 £7.00 £10.50

www.mcclurenaismith.com Solicitors and supporter of The Skinny Contact: Euan Duncan 0141 303 7814

DISTRIBUTION: THE SKINNY IS DISTRIBUTED MONTHLY

THE EXPLICIT PERMISSION OF THE PUBLISHER.

THOUGH A NETWORK OF BARS, CLUBS, RETAIL OUTLETS,

THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED WITHIN THIS PUB-

MUSIC STORES, CAFES, VENUES, HOSTELS AND LIFESTYLE

LICATION DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE VIEWS

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PRINTED BY DC THOMSON

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ISSUE 15 DECEMBER 2006 © FATSO MEDIA LTD

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

LIFESTYLE I

t ’s n o t a l l a b o u t Christmas and poor weather this December; there’s still plenty to do and we’ve again got the low down on what’s on in Edinburgh and Glasgow. For Go Away! we head safari-style to the less than salubrious Soho district of London for a weekend of innercity naughtiness.

FRIDAY 1 DECEMBER

THIS MONTH’S LETTERS

The Skinny’s Lifestyle evolution continues as we’ve added your thoughts, as well as some very wrong jokes, with Vox Pops. This month Rupert’s made himself a weird t-shirt, and in future issues we’re learning ballroom dancing and going paint-balling. Who doesn’t like their friends enough to shoot them? While it may be the start of winter, don’t use that as an excuse – just put on some more layers and get out there. Everyone has holidays coming – use them!

Hi, I picked up my first copy of The Skinny last week. All I can say is - “Where have you been all my life?” I must have been living as a hermit. I don’t know why I haven’t picked you up before! Skinny has so much, and it’s FREE! There isn’t much you can get free anymore. It has everything I could ever want from a magazine and doesn’t take anything too seriously. Thanks for breaking the mould and letting me in on so many secret bits and pieces about the places I thought I knew so well! Kirsty Hunt. Thanks Kirsty. That’s very sweet of you. In fact, how many sweets have you been eating? Skinnyman once ate so many Haribo he thought he was invisible for an hour and a half.

Heads up! GIMME SHELTER FESTIVAL ‘06

THE SCOTTISH DREAM

‘Tis the season of goodwill. Of course when your girlfriend is desperate for a Scalectrix set and all your boyfriend wants is a pair of Gucci boots it’s hard to find pennies for the needy. For a great option head along to Mono on Sunday 17 for the Gimme Shelter festival. What promises to be a top night of acoustic action, it will feature a number of acts: bands such as the Attic Lights, Down the Tiny Steps and Viking Moses will be playing alongside solo artists Ally Kerr and Francis MacDonald of Teenage Fanclub. With plenty more acts on the bill it’s a simple charity donation to get in. As you listen, let the satisfaction of giving something to those who need it warm your chestnuts. [Graeme Park]

Not limited to Edinburgh, but Edinburgh-based, The Scottish Dream is the mysterious project of an anonymous artist/cultural thinker (and no, it’s not me). The intention is to find out the spiritual concerns and fantasies of this, our nation, by the simple means of mass email. (The address to aim for is at the end of this article.) It is reminiscent of the project of the Beat movement in 50s America, with an emphasis on literary thought, the landscape, and personal values. Submissions can be as short as one word or as long as a novel. Photos would probably be appreciated too. It’s rare anyone tries to get beneath the surface in life. Why not give The Scottish Dream a hand? [RJ Thomson]

MONO, SUNDAY 17 DEC. £DONATION

THESCOTTISHDREAM@AOL.CO.UK

DAMIEN SWAIL, MOLLY MALONES, 9pm, Free LAST TOWN CHORUS, NICE N SLEAZY, 8pm, £6.50 FORGOTTEN SONS , ROCKERS, Marrilion tribute, 7pm, £4 CLIFF RICHARD, SECC, 7.30pm, sold out DANIEL WYLIE, ST. ANDREWS IN THE SQUARE, 7.30pm, £10.00

THE WAITING ROOM, STRATHCLYDE UNION, 8pm, £10.00 READING THE LEAVES, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, poetry and short story readings, 8pm, £1 DAVE BURLAND, THE ANNEXE, 8pm, £8.00 THE NEEDLES, WOODSIDE SOCIAL CLUB, 8pm, £5.00 ACOUSTIC AFFAIR, TRON, 9.30pm, £6 DANIEL WYLIE, ST ANDREWS, 8pm, £10.00

MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD, ARCHES, Political rap, 8pm, £12.50

TEMPLELOCK, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE MAGIC NUMBERS , BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, £16.00 30TH ANNIVERSARY OF PUNK FEATURING THE REZILLOS, THE DAMNED, THE BEAT, THE METEORS, GBH AND MORE *RESCHEDULED FROM 29 OCT, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, £22.50

3 MEN AND BLACK, CLASSIC GRAND, 8.30pm, £12.00 JON AUER, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £7.50 ARAB STRAP * RESCHEDULED TO ABC NOW THE 4TH DEC, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, *please note change REVL9N, NICE N SLEAZY, 8pm, £6.00 TWISTED APE SHOWCASE NIGHT 4 BANDS, ROCKERS,

ISOCELES (LIVE) , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

MONDAY 4 DECEMBER

ARAB STRAP * NOTE CHANGE OF VENUE, DOORS NOW 7PM, ABC, Farewell to Falkirk’s most poetic, 7pm, *Sold Out*

MIRREN

SARAH

ROB

WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU

WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU

WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU

HEARD?

Fedde le Grande: ‘Put Your Hands Rodrigo y Gabriela. Diplo stuff. Krunk, gutter music. The Vivians. Don’t put that. I’ll get the Faithless – just this morning. Les Savy Fav. Up Detroit’. WHEN DID YOU LAST SPEND MONEY AND WHEN DID YOU LAST SPEND MONEY AND piss ripped out of me. WHEN DID YOU LAST SPEND MONEY AND WHEN DID YOU LAST SPEND MONEY AND CAN YOU TELL US A JOKE?

REGRET IT?

What do you get if you cross a pit bull and a Labrador? A dog that scares the shit out of you and then runs off with the loo roll.

REGRET IT?

I went on a trip to India this summer, I should have bought a Mac notebook and came back with salmonella and not a PC one. amoebic dysentery. CAN YOU TELL US A JOKE? CAN YOU TELL US A JOKE? What’s the difference between a WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD FILM YOU What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I haven’t SAW? date with Robbie Williams and a date got a Ferrari in my garage. The one with Clive Owen in. Children with George Michael? Robbie will WHAT’S YOUR RINGTONE? of Men. make your day. George will make The Grange Hill theme. WHAT’S YOUR RINGTONE? your whole week. Paolo Nutini Ring ring.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

WHEN DID YOU LAST SPEND MONEY AND

REGRET IT?

Last Thursday I bought a jumper The money I spent on drinks beI bought loads of books on Amazon from a fake market in Beijing for three fore breaking my leg. It was on one for my dissertation. Then my tutor pounds. It’s not actually very nice. of these trees round here. I wasn’t changed the topic. WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD FILM YOU climbing. It was my mate. He fell on WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD FILM YOU SAW? me and didn’t even graze himself. SAW? Monsters Inc. WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD FILM YOU Garden State. It was a while ago. WHAT’S YOUR RINGTONE? SAW? WHAT’S YOUR RINGTONE? Trancey crap. It’s horrible. Little Miss Sunshine. It’s on silent. I hate ringtones. CAN YOU TELL US A JOKE? I can only think of paedophile ones. REGRET IT?

www.skinnymag.co.uk

CONCEPT OF TIME , BARFLY, 8.30pm, £4.00 CLAIRE WOOD , BLOC, 9pm, Free YASHIN, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc MAGIC NUMBERS, BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, £16.00 THE CHARLATANS, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, *sold out*

NU GROUND EP LAUNCH NIGHT + CASTRO + YELLOW BENTINES, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc FOY VANCE + THE FORTUNATE SONS , BLOC, 10pm, Free

JOHN PEEBLES, BEANSCENE,

SHAWLANDS, 9pm, Free

ety rise again, 8.30pm, £10.00 KEEP’ER LIT*, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free

:VIVA STEREO-ODEON BEAT CLUB, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

THE LEDZEPPELIN STORY, ORAN MOR, 8pm, £12.00 GALLUS COOPER & NO DICE, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THE NEON HEARTS, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £6.00 STRUCK DUM RECORDS: DB68-JOE FAMOUS, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

MICHAEL SIMONS, TCHAIOVNA,

SOUTHSIDE, folk, blues

and beyond from this fingerstyle guitarist, 8pm, £2

RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

DJ JUNIOR , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

THURSDAY 7 DECEMBER

BLACK WIRE & NEILS CHILDREN, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £7.00

SIX STAR HOTEL + AIRSPACE , BLOC, 11pm, Free THE NEEDLESS ESSENTIALS + SMOKED GLASS + WIRED DESIRE, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE LAW, BARROWLAND 2, 7.45pm, £6.00 XFM WINTER WONDERLAND FEATURING THE FRATELLIS, SUBWAYS, THE VIEW AND MORE, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, sold out

MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £7.00 DAMIEN SWAIL, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free LE RENO AMPS-THE ELVIS SUICIDE-MISS THE OCCUPIER, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc PRAVDA, ORAN MOR, French electro pop, 8pm, £3.00 KASABIAN & THE FRATELLIS, SECC, 7.30pm, *sold out* AUTUMN GRIEVE, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, otherworldly, ethereal folk singer on tour, 8pm, £3

THE AVERAGE FOLK BAND, THE FELT TIPS, THE ALARMIST, THE LIQUID SHIP, 8pm, £2

FRIDAY 8 DECEMBER

THE BUZZCOCKS, ABC, Fast paced, 7pm, £15.00 EYRKA + LOCAL HERO + THE HILLCOATS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THE OFFICIAL DIRTY PRETTY THINGS AFTERSHOW PARTY @ THE FUNHOUSE, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc JOHN PEEBLES, BEANSCENE, WOODLANDS, 8.30pm, Free

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS WITH LARRIKIN LOVE AND MANDO DIAO, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, Sold Out HOWLING BELLS, CATHOUSE, Late night country folk musings, 8.30pm, £5.00

JOOLS HOLLAND AND HIS RHYTHM AND BLUES ORCHESTRA, CLYDE AUDITORIUM, 7.30pm, £28.00 DAS BOOT , BLOC, 12am, Free MARK MORRISS (BLUETONES), FURY MURRYS, 8pm, £7.00

EZIO + EOGHAN COLGAN, KING TUT’S, 8.30pm, £10.00

WILD HORSES*, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free PULL TIGER TAIL, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, cancelled LORIS-THE ZIPS, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, £4 ACOUSTIC JAM SESSION , NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, free HANOCK ROAD & MISSISSIPPI MUD, ROCKERS, 7pm, ROCK NIGHT 4 BANDS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 YAMAN, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, sitar, flute and mixes, £4 BASEMENT JAXX, SECC, 7.30pm, £23.50 8pm, £2 THE BETTER CRACK CLUB, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE,

TUESDAY 5 DECEMBER

pioneers, 7.30pm, £20.00

7.30pm, £25.00

DANCES ON THE SAND WITH BETH FOURACRE, ACOUSTIC BUG, BILLY BATES AND EMMA JAYNE , THE

SUNDAY 3 DECEMBER

EMERGENCY RED + NINE CIRCLES + THE CALDERAS + CITY, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc DRAGONFORCE, BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, sold out THE HUMAN LEAGUE, CARLING ACADEMY, Electronic pop

MONEEN, BARFLY, Aggressive and melodic, 8.30pm, SPANKY WILSON AND THE QUANTIC SOUL ORCHES- £6.00 TRA, ARCHES, 8pm, £10.00 MONEEN + LIGHTS. ACTION! + THE DAY I SNAPPED, DAMIEN JURADO, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £7.50 BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE GAME, CARLING ACADEMY, Hip-hop braggard, SPIDER SIMPSON + THE TRANQUIL + WIRED DESIRE,

SHIP, , 8pm, £2

CLUB, 8pm, £9.00

£6.00

SUNDAY 10 DECEMBER

£8.50

AUDITORIUM, 7.30pm, £35.00

BURGH HALLS, 8pm, £10.00

SIREN , BLOC, 1am, Free THE REVIVALS AND THE CASUALS, BARFLY, 8.30pm,

LIL CHRIS, ABC2, Uncomfortably mature themes, 7pm,

RUSSELL WATSON * RESCHEDULED TO 5/4/7, CLYDE

£8.00

ANDREW

WEDNESDAY 6 DECEMBER

8.30pm, £6/5.00

THE BIG SING WITH SHEPHEARD, SPIERS AND WATSON AND GEORGE PAPAVGERIS, THE ANNEXE, 8pm,

ANNA

tish songs: voice, guitar and bozouki, 8pm, £2

EOGHAN COGHLAN, CIARAN DORRIS , THE LIQUID

7pm, £4

KATRINA

ALLAN Y MCDOUGALL, TCHAIOVNA, traditional Scot-

DECENT SOULS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc SAW DOCTORS, BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, *sold out* SAT DIRTY RECORDS XMAS PARTY, CLASSIC GRAND,

BAD MEDICINE / KONG, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 MORRISSEY, SECC, 7.30pm, £32.50 DUNCAN WALTERS BAND, WOODEND TENNIS + BOWLING

THE MEADOWS, EDINBURGH

ROYAL CONCERT HALL , Witty songwriter, 7.30pm, tbc

OTAGO LANE, 8pm, free

THE RAGGAELS, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free THESE ARMS ARE SNAKES, NICE N SLEAZY, 8pm, £7.00 CAPTAIN, ORAN MOR, 8pm, £8.50 THE BIG DAY OOT WITH OLD BLIND DOGS, PARTICK

photo: Alain Irureta

RANDY CRAWFORD AND THE JOE SAMPLE TRIO ,

ROCKETFOX, MIDNIGHT STILL, YAHOO SERIOUS, KINKYSTONE, THY SHALL REIGN & JO JO AND THE SATURDAY 2 DECEMBER COLOURS CHRISTMAS PARTY FEATURING PAUL OAK- SWAGGERS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 PLACEBO, SECC, 7.30pm, £23.50 ENFORD, PAUL WOOLFORD AND MARK HUGHES, MULTI-COLOURED TEA TIME CABARET, TCHAIOVNA, ARCHES, 10pm, £20

KING TUTS, 8.30pm, sold out

Gimme Shelter Festival - Attic Lights

GUTTER TALK

7pm, £4

THE DYKEENIES, GARAGE, Local heroes, 8pm, £7.00 TOM MCRAE PRESENTS ARTISTS OF THE HOTEL CAFE,

We’re glad you expect ‘revelationary’ journalism from the Skinny, though we have a hunch you meant ‘revelatory’, Anon. ‘The Wide Angle’ is a unique angle, and we’re proud to present it.

LETTERS@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

sold out

group, 8.30pm, £7.00

£11.00

JOOLS HOLLAND AND HIS RHYTHM AND BLUES ORTHE CIGARETTES, FALL TO ORDER, KISSY JAFFA & THE CHESTRA, CLYDE AUDITORIUM, 7.30pm, £28.00 MINNOWS, THE HOFFS & THE MANIKEES, ROCKERS, COLIN MACINTYRE, KING TUTS, The Mull Historical SociUrgent new wave, 8pm, tbc

AZRIEL, CATHOUSE, 8.30pm, £7.00 BRAKES AND TINY DANCERS, KING TUTS, Indie Super-

Dear Skinny, Scotland has the highest rate of heart disease in Europe. I understand that people come in all shapes and sizes, but I believe that publishing ‘The Wide Angle’ column on how it’s acceptable to be fat is dangerously misleading to the public. It is not ok to put your heart, and body, under the stress of added weight, especially in the debaucherous environment of modern city-living. Sexuality and physical attributes are undeniably linked, but neither of Charlotte Cooper’s two columns so far have said anything revelationary about fat and lesbians. What is the point here? Other than for a fat dyke to talk about herself. While general media’s perception of obese lesbians is, granted, less than flattering, this whiney, self-pitying column is hardly helping matters. Anon.

Mikaelak, Torkel & Jimmy are fascinated by the Skinny LGBT section in cold Stockholm. Send your pictures of The Skinny On Tour to:

Free

BEAUTIFUL SOUP , BLOC, 8pm, Free COMPLETE STONE ROSES , CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm,

Xavier

THE SKINNY ON TOUR

THE GLASGOW SONGWRITERS, BLACKFRIARS, 9pm,

LEVELLERS, ABC, Folk rockers ride again, 7pm, £17.00 NEW FOUND GLORY AND THE EARLY NOVEMBER, EYES WIDE OPEN 2ND BIRTHDAY FEATURING THE BEEP CARLING ACADEMY, Raging pop punk, 7.30pm, £15.00 SEALS, THE GILDED ANGELS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £4.00 COTTIERS CHRISTMAS SESSION FEATURING THE FORLATONIC + TWIN ATLANTIC, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc TUNATE SONS, THE BNAD, LAURA HEALY , COTTIERS THE FUNHOUSE / EYES WIDE OPEN + THE BEEP SEALS THEATRE, , 8pm, tbc + THE GILDED ANGELS + THE DOLEDRUMS, BARFLY, IT BITES, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £17.50 8.30pm, tbc SYMBOLICS-THE RISING-THE TEETH, NICE’N’SLEAZY, STEWART TRAQUAIR, BEANSCENE, WOODLANDS, 9pm,

CLUB LISTINGS

GLASGOW LIVE

monthly story telling evening, 8pm, free FIFTH AND PONTIAC, ABC, 7pm, £6

SATURDAY 9 DECEMBER

£17.00

BJORN AGAIN, CLYDE AUDITORIUM, 7.30pm, £18.50 DARKEST HOUR, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £10.00 JOE VITERBO-MY OWN RELIGION, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

DANIKA + GUESTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

MONDAY 11 DECEMBER

PIGEON DETECTIVES, ABC2, 7pm, £6.00 GHOST OF A THOUSAND, BARFLY, 8.30pm, *cancelled* DAEMONOLITH + PARADOX + CENTURIES CRY + EMERSION, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE GHOST OF A THOUSAND - CANCELLED + THE MIRIMAR DISASTER, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc ROSS CLARK , BLOC, 11pm, Free THE POGUES, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, £26.00 TRASHLIGHT VISION *CANCELLED*, CATHOUSE, 8.30pm, *cancelled*

TENACIOUS D , GLASGOW - SECC , 8pm, tbc DUELS, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £7.00 THE HORRORS, ORAN MOR, 8pm, £8.00 ROUGHMATE & CAPTAIN KATE PLUS 3 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

BOOTLEG BEATLES , ROYAL CONCERT HALL , 7.30pm, tbc THE BEZERKER, SOUNDHAUS, 8pm, £12.00 YAMAN, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, sitar, flute and mixes, 8pm, £2

TUESDAY 12 DECEMBER

THE FINAL PAGE + THE KICK + FAST CAMELS, THE + POTETENTIAL DIFFERENCE + EXPERIENCE + WRECKED + SILENT TRANSMISSION, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc STEWART TRAQUAIR, BEANSCENE, SHAWLANDS, 9pm, Free

THE POGUES, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, £26.00 NORTHSIDE, KING TUTS, The Madchester revival starst here, 8.30pm, £10.00

TATTOOED MILLIONAIRES-CRYSTAL KICKS-PEEPSHOW, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc WHISKEY GALORE, THE GO HAWKS, INVECTIVE + 2 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 MADNESS , SECC. , 7.30pm, tbc ANDY MILLER, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, acoustic guitar virtuoso presents some of his favourite bands, 8pm, £2

BELLINGHAM AND ROBINSON, THE MISS’S, OWEN MCAULAY , THE LIQUID SHIP, , 8pm, £2 TRANSAUDIO , BLOC, 11pm, Free

WEDNESDAY 13 DECEMBER

BREAKPOINT + BODY EXPERIENCE REVIEW + THEM SCALLY BOYS + THE ONLY JONES + THE ENCIERRO + THE SHERMANS + HITLIST YOUTH + THE KOROVAS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THE BUSINESS, CATHOUSE, 8.30pm, £10.00 WHITE ROSE MOVEMENT, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £8.00 SLEEPMODE-THE FIRESOULS-5 STICKS OF DYNAMITE, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

ROCKETFOX, THE DEBUTS, ANAVRIS, DEAD BEFORE MONDAY, YESTERDAYS ASHES & THE DELOREANS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

CANDIRU JAZZ, TCHAIOVNA,

OTAGO LANE, modern jazz standards played by our resident trio, 8pm, £2 MICHAEL SIMONS, TCHAIOVNA, SOUTHSIDE, folk, blues and beyond from this fingerstyle guitarist, 8pm, £2

FREAK SCENE WITH SATELLITE DUB AND I AM BLIP , THE

SKINDRED + PSYCHO DALEK, ABC2, 7pm, £8.00 MR SCRUFF , ARCHES, Wonky dance maestro, 8pm,

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

BABYSHAMBLES *RESCHEDULED FROM 7TH OCTOBER, CARLING ACADEMY, Albion’s dreaming, 7.30pm,

RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

THE OMINOUS , BLOC, 10pm, Free

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

funked up house & soul, 8pm-1am, Free YUMMI RECORDS, PIVO CAFFE, Yummi Records showCLASS!, SUBWAY COWGATE, DJ Lucky Luciano plays vin- case - DJs & local talent, 5pm-3am, Free ASSEMBLY BAR, Gareth Somerville (Ultragroove) & Jonnie tage cheese, student anthems & requests, 11pm-3am, Lyley (Scratch), 9pm-1am, Free £2, £1 students, free b4 12am LULU, Al Kent & Kipp$ play soul, funk & disco, 8pm-3am, GENETIC, CITRUS CLUB, Night of rock anthems, 11pm£7, free b4 10pm 3am, £2 GRAFITTI, MEDINA, Kipp$ & Master Caird play party tunes PIVO CAFFE, Electronic music from house addicts in this warm-up venue, 9pm-3am, Free all night, 10pm-3am, £3 (£2)

BOUNCE, PO NA NA, DJ 2three playing urban sounds, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3)

HOUSEBOUND, EGO, Sexy house, funky stuff, electro &

disco with DJs from Edinburgh & Glasgow, 10pm-3am, £5 LUCKYME, CITY CAFÉ, Hip hop, soul & off beats, 8.30pm1am, Free ON REQUEST, EGO, Camp, Cheese, Pop, whatever, 11pm-3am, £3 SALSA DISCO, CUBA NORTE, Salsa dance & tasty tapas, 10pm-1am, Free THE SKINNY INDIE DISCO, PIVO CAFFE, Indie classics, mash-ups & links, 7pm-3am, Free SOULED OUT, OPAL LOUNGE, Soul, disco & dance with Leon Easter (33 45), 9pm-3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11pm SNATCH SOCIAL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Messy night guaranteed at eclectic student bash, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 members TOKYO KYOUYOU, TOKYO, Scott Granger mixes funky house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) TRAFFIC, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Indie & alternative, 11.30pm-2am, Free ASSEMBLY BAR, The Departure Lounge DJs, 9pm-1am, Free LULU, Astroboy & Family - soul & boogie, 8pm-3am, £4, free for students

FRIDAY 22ND DECEMBER

33/45, CABARET VOLTAIRE, House from Leon Easter, Nick Watson & Roy M, with Saxingh, 11pm-3am, £6, £4 b4 12am/members/students CLIMAX, RED, Shari Vari DJs play disco, detroit beatdown & hi-tech funk, 10pm-3am, £3, £2 b4 12am CLUB CLASSICS, PIVO CAFFE, Classic club music from the past 15 years with Scott Elliot, Craig Gee & Gav Grant on rotation, 5pm-3am, Free CULT, PO NA NA, DJ Nicki & guests playing hip hop, disco, funk & RnB, 10pm-3am, £5, £2.50 b4 11pm DE LUXE, HUDSON CLUB, Funky house with resident DJs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 12am ERUPTOR, STUDIO 24, Heavy tribal techno, 11pm-3am, £5 EVOL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie, hip hop, alternative beats & rock, 10.30pm-3am, £5 GET FUNK’D, MEDINA, Double D & Isla play hip hop to house, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm GROOVEJET, TOKYO, Tony McHugh with dancefloor hits, 10pm-3am, £6 JAKN, STUDIO 24, Techno session with Fuk-Nut, Morphos & Synokopath, 10.30pm-3am, £7 JAM FRIDAY, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Pop & cheese, 10pm-3am, £2 MISFITS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Indie, electro, punk, rock, retro & a tequila girl, 11pm-3am, £2 NIGHT TRAIN, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), 8pm, Free SALSA CARIBE!, THE LOT, Salsa DJs on the special wooden dancefloor, 9pm-1.30am, £5, £4 b4 9.30pm SATCHMO SESSIONS, PIVO CAFFE, House Session, 9pm3am, Free UNKNOWN PLEASURES, TEVIOT UNION, Indie club, 9pm3am, £3 (£2) ASSEMBLY BAR, Trouble DJs, 5pm-1am, Free LULU, Hobbes & Gareth Somerville, £7, free b4 10pm THE MALTINGS, Open Mic, 9.30pm-late, Free

SUNDAY 24TH DECEMBER

BABY DOLL, PO NA NA, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £5, £4 b4 12am

DISUKO, TOKYO, John Tokyoblu plays upfront disco, latin house with live percussion & sax from Pepe & saXingh, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2), free b4 11pm KAYOS, OPIUM, Rock, metal & indie with residents, 8pm3am, Free SIENTELO!, EL BARRIO, Latin America music mixed with chart tunes, 11pm-3am, Free

MONDAY 25TH DECEMBER

THE LATIN QUARTER, MEDINA, Salsa, funk & latin house, 10pm-3am, Free

PONY CLUB, TOKYO, Funky house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3)

ROCK KARAOKE, OPIUM, Rock Karaoke, From 8pm, Free

TASTE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Escape Xmas Party with Fisher & Price, Martin Valentine, 11pm-5am, £15 (£12) BARAKA, P-Haze playing mashup, 8.30pm-1am, Free LULU, Xmas party tbc, tbc, tbc

TUESDAY 26TH DECEMBER

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal, 11pm-3am, Free

FRUNT, THE LIQUID ROOM, DJ Stuart Johnston playing house music all night long, 10.30pm-3am, Free MOTHERFUNK, OPAL LOUNGE, Fryer & Gino play original soul, funk, disco, latin & hip hop, 10pm-3am, Free REWIND, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, 100% upfront RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £2, ladies free b4 12am SPLIT, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Blend of house, techno, drum & bass, breakbeat from Edinburgh locals, healthy midweek rave, 11.30pm-5am, Free SWING DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Beginners at 7pm, advanced at 8pm, social dancing at 9, 7pm9pm, £4 (£3) for one, £6 (£5) for both LULU, G-Mac - soulful eclectic set, 10pm-3am, tbc PIVO CAFFE, Trouble DJs, 7pm-3am, Free

WEDNESDAY 27TH DECEMBER

CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4)

HOT SUSHI, TOKYO, Lisa Littlewood plays funky house &

club classics, 10pm-3am, £tbc INDI-GO, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie & alternative, 10.30pm-3am, £2, £1 students INSOMNIA, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, Warner Powers & Claudio bring fresh house tunes each week, 10pm-3am, Free PAUL DALY, PIVO CAFFE, Free flowing funk to house, 9pm3am, Free THE PIT, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock & metal, 11pm-3am, Free STIR FRIED, THE OUTHOUSE, Pre-club with indie & rock from B-Sides & Bootross Rock, 9pm-1am, Free TOASTER, CITRUS CLUB, Breaks & Bobs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm TOXIK, OPIUM, DJ Nu-Clear playing new & old metal & hard rock, 8pm-3am, Free WE ARE … ELECTRIC, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Gary Mac, Reachout, Pyz & Dava Le Funk, 11.30pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am/members 2HOT, EGO, RnB & hip hop with Ritchie Ruftone & friends, BARAKA, Funk, soul, disco, dancehall & reggae, 8pmunder 18s only (14-17), 6.45pm-9.45pm, £5 late, Free ALLSORTS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Chart, cheese & party, LULU, Mash & Jon Pleased - past & future electronic clas11pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am sics, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm THE CHRISTMAS CABARET, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Cabaret Voltaire’s clubs come together, 10.30pm-5am, £10, £8 b4 12am/members ALTER EGO, PO NA NA, DJ Diverse with indie, rock n roll & EDEN ANGELS, THE VAULTS, House with Brian Dempster, electro, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) 10pm-3am, £5 BEAT ROOT JUICE CLUB, THE JAZZ BAR, Live afrobeat, latin LIQUID SOUL, PO NA NA, Mark B & guests with chirpy & ska from resident band The Goat Stew Orchestra & music, 10.30pm-3am, £6, £3 b4 11pm resident DJ B*Wax, 10pm-3am, Free LOUNGE, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), Eclectic mix of BOUNCE, PO NA NA, DJ 2three playing urban sounds, tunes, 8pm-1.30am, Free 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) MUCH MORE, MEDINA, Hip-hop & funk cuts with Nasty P GENETIC, CITRUS CLUB, Night of rock anthems, 11pm& Cunnie, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm 3am, £2 RETRIBUTION, STUDIO 24, Goth music for the old, 11pm- GOULAG BEAT, COCTEAU LOUNGE (DOWNSTAIRS AT EGO), 3am, £5, £3 students Silvia Substance plus live guests, 11pm-3am, £3 SATURDAY NIGHT FISH FRY, THE JAZZ BAR, Erik D’Viking & GRAFITTI, MEDINA, Kipp$ & Master Caird play party tunes Astroboy with Mosa Funk Club, 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 all night, 10pm-3am, £3 (£2) 11.30pm HOUSEBOUND, EGO, Sexy house, funky stuff, electro & SEITEKI SATURDAYS, TOKYO, Funky house, 11pm-3am, disco with DJs from Edinburgh & Glasgow, 10pm-3am, £6 £5 SOPHISTIFUNK, CITY, John Hutchison (Tokyoblu) plays KARNIVAL, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Mike Pinkerton & Ryan house remixes, funky RnB & bootlegs, 11pm-3am, £8 Ellis with Sugarbeat in the back, 11pm-5am, £5, £3 THE SOULCIAL, BARAKA, Yogi Haughton plays rare disco, students/ECCF/Silvercard

SATURDAY 23RD DECEMBER

THURSDAY 28TH DECEMBER

58 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

EDINBURGH CLUBS LUCKYME, CITY CAFÉ, Hip hop, soul & off beats,

5am, £15

SALSA DISCO, CUBA NORTE, Salsa dance & tasty tapas,

b4 12am

8.30pm-1am, Free 10pm-1am, Free

THE SKINNY INDIE DISCO, PIVO CAFFE, Indie classics, mash-ups & links, 7pm-3am, Free SOULED OUT, OPAL LOUNGE, Soul, disco & dance with Leon Easter (33 45), 9pm-3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11pm SNATCH SOCIAL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Messy night guaranteed at eclectic student bash, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 members TOKYO KYOUYOU, TOKYO, Scott Granger mixes funky house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) TRAFFIC, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Indie & alternative, 11.30pm-2am, Free ASSEMBLY BAR, The Departure Lounge DJs, 9pm-1am, Free LULU, Astroboy & Family - soul & boogie, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm

FRIDAY 29TH DECEMBER

CULT, PO NA NA, DJ Nicki & guests playing hip hop, disco, funk & RnB, 10pm-3am, £5, £2.50 b4 11pm DE LUXE, HUDSON CLUB, Funky house with resident DJs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 12am EVOL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie, hip hop, alternative beats & rock, 10.30pm-3am, £5 GET FUNK’D, MEDINA, Double D & Isla play hip hop to house, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm GROOVEJET, TOKYO, Tony McHugh with dancefloor hits, 10pm-3am, £6 JAM FRIDAY, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Pop & cheese, 10pm-3am, £2 MISFITS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Indie, electro, punk, rock, retro & a tequila girl, 11pm-3am, £2 NIGHT TRAIN, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), 8pm-2am, Free PLANET EARTH, CITRUS CLUB, 80s tunes with residents, 10.30pm-3am, £5 SALSA CARIBE!, THE LOT, Salsa DJs on the special wooden dancefloor, 9pm-1.30am, £5, £4 b4 9.30pm SATCHMO SESSIONS, PIVO CAFFE, House Session, 9pm-3am, Free SEQUENTIAL, STUDIO 24, Disco drum & bass with Simon Bassline Smith, 10.30pm-3am, £10 SOLESCIENCE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, House with favourite tracks of the year from Nick, Rob & Grant, 10.30pm5am, £3 TOKYOBLU, EGO, DJs, full band with live percussion playing house & latin, 11pm-3am, £8, £7 b4 12am/nus UNKNOWN PLEASURES, TEVIOT UNION, Indie club, 9pm3am, £3 (£2) ASSEMBLY BAR, Trouble DJs, 5pm-1am, Free LULU, Ingram & Gareth Somerville - soul, funk, latin, disco, house, 8pm-3am, £7, free b4 10pm THE MALTINGS, Open Mic, 9.30pm-late, Free

SATURDAY 30TH DECEMBER

2HOT, EGO, RnB & hip hop with Ritchie Ruftone & friends, under 18s only (14-17), 6.45pm-9.45pm, £5 ALLSORTS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Chart, cheese & party, 11pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am CATHOUSE, STUDIO 24, Glasgow’s rock club invades the studios, 11pm-3am, £6, £3 b4 11.30pm ECCF, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Line-up still to be confirmed - for charity though!, 11pm-5am, £tbc LIQUID SOUL, PO NA NA, Mark B & guests with chirpy music, 10.30pm-3am, £6, £3 b4 11pm LOUNGE, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), Eclectic mix of tunes, 8pm-1.30am, Free MUCH MORE, MEDINA, Hip-hop & funk cuts with Nasty P & Cunnie, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm PARTY NIGHT, EL BARRIO, Salsa night with DJ Papi & Alex Gato, free classes from 10pm, 11pm-3am, Free RETRIBUTION, STUDIO 24, Goth music for the old, 11pm3am, £5, £3 students SATURDAY NIGHT FISH FRY, THE JAZZ BAR, Erik D’Viking & Astroboy with Voces Del Sur, 11pm-5am, £5, free b4 11.30pm SEITEKI SATURDAYS, TOKYO, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £6 SOPHISTIFUNK, CITY, John Hutchison (Tokyoblu) plays house remixes, funky RnB & bootlegs, 11pm-3am, £8 THE SOULCIAL, BARAKA, Yogi Haughton plays rare disco, funked up house & soul, 8pm-1am, Free TEASE AGE, CITRUS CLUB, All things rock, motown, alternative & soul, 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 11.30pm YUMMI RECORDS, PIVO CAFFE, Yummi Records showcase - DJs & local talent, 5pm-3am, Free ASSEMBLY BAR, Gareth Somerville (Ultragroove) & Jonnie Lyley (Scratch), 9pm-1am, Free LULU, Andy pirie & Blond Flash - soul, funk, electro-disco, 8pm-3am, £7, free b4 10pm PIVO CAFFE, Electronic music from house addicts in this warm-up venue, 9pm-3am, Free

SUNDAY 31ST DECEMBER

AFTERDARK, THE LIQUID ROOM, All kinds o house, 9pm-

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

BABY DOLL, PO NA NA, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £5, £4 BOOTYLUSHOUS, MEDINA, RnB, soul, funk & disco with Trendy Wendy, Dale & Simone, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 b4 12am BRING IN THE HOUSE, OCEAN TERMINAL, Progression DJs & Ministry Of Sound DJs, 9pm-3am, £25 DEPARTURE LOUNGE, THE CAVES, Live sets from Moishe’s Bagel, Roots Rising & The Edinburgh Samba School DJ Sidewinder, Astroboy & mates, 10pm-late, £20 DISUKO, TOKYO, John Tokyoblu plays upfront disco, latin house with live percussion & sax from Pepe & saXingh, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2), free b4 11pm HEADSPIN, THE BONGO CLUB, Hogmanay funk, soul, disco & hip hop with residents, 11pm-5am, £10 JAKN VS. DOGMA, STUDIO 24, Residents from JakN, Dogma, Split & Freak Lab play d&b, funk, electro, house, techno & hardcore, 10pm-5am, £15 KAYOS, OPIUM, Rock, metal & indie with residents, 8pm3am, Free SIENTELO!, EL BARRIO, Latin America music mixed with chart tunes, 11pm-3am, Free STEREOTYPE, BERLIN, House with Huggy, Ryan Ellis, Beatroot & Sumo DJs, 10.30pm-5am, £15 (£12) ULTRAGROOVE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Hogmanay house bash with Ultragroove, Solescience & The Filth DJs, 11pm-5am, £14 VEGAS, ECA, Hogmanay Ball with the usual flamboyance & The Love Boat Big Band, Early-late, £30 VELVET, MARINERS, Women’s Night, 9.30pm-4am, £12 LULU, Hogmanay bash with Blond Flash & Isla Blige - soul, funk, house, latin & disco, 8pm-late, £tbc

MONDAY 1ST JANUARY

HAPPY MONDAYS, PO NA NA, Night for students & Industry folk, indie, rock & funk, 11pm-3am, £3, free for students/industry THE LATIN QUARTER, MEDINA, Salsa, funk & latin house, 10pm-3am, Free MOJO, OPAL LOUNGE, Modern music & timeless classics, 10pm-3am, £3, free b4 12am PONY CLUB, TOKYO, Funky house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) ROCK KARAOKE, OPIUM, Rock Karaoke, From 8pm, Free SALSA DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Cuban Salsa, drop-in classes, 7pm for beginners, 8pm for the advanced, 7pm-9pm, £5 SOUNDPROOF, THE OUTHOUSE, Open decks night hosted by the Soundproof DJs, 8pm-1am, Free BARAKA, P-Haze playing mashup, 8.30pm-1am, Free PIVO CAFFE, Monkey Boy, 9pm-3am, Free

TUESDAY 2ND JANUARY

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal,

theSKINNY in UGLY FOR ART

pictures

LIFESTYLE

LISTINGS

by Mike Duffy

THIS MONTH THE SKINNY SCOURED THE ANNALS OF FILM TO FIND GOOD LOOKING THESPIANS WHO HAVE ‘JADE GOODIED’ THEMSELVES UP TO LOOK WORSE THAN SHANE MCGOWAN AFTER A NIGHT ON THE STOUT. SOME DO IT IN PURSUIT OF A SHINY GOLD MAN CALLED OSCAR WHILE OTHERS DO IT BECAUSE THEY’RE DICKHEADS WHO COULDN’T CHOOSE A GOOD PROJECT IF THEIR MAKE-UP MAN’S LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

JOHN TRAVOLTA, IN BATTLEFIELD EARTH

Dance your way out of this sci-fi turd, John. I won’t pretend to presume what the future will hold for the human race, but I’ll bet you a dime and a dollar we won’t be ruled by a dreadlocked white pikey with a leather cod-piece the size of a ripe grapefruit.

SAMANTHA MORTON, IN MINORITY REPORT

Nice one Sam - shave your head and lie in a big pool of slime while Cruise arses around about you, using your abilities of foresight to make himself look great. Shame that you couldn’t foresee that this film was going to be a big pile of wank.

CHARLIZE THERON, IN MONSTER

“Hmmm, play a lesbian serial killer. That will win me an Oscar,” said Ms Theron, who morphed from head turner to trailer trash to take home the coveted gong. She also got to make out with Christina Ricci. The price? She had to take on the appearance of that aged scarlet-clad slapper from The Royal Oak who tries to jump me and the boys when we’re hammered on Talisker. If she’s a real woman I’ll take a blow up one any day.

NICOLE KIDMAN, IN THE HOURS

Nicole turned her feline looks into those of a trout for The Hours. She was playing Virginia Woolf, a bleak depressive who mused upon the power of the modern city as a motif for the gradual degradation of the human soul, when she probably should have been bringing up her kids properly, or cooking. Nicole won an Oscar for this role, which goes to show that a prosthetic nose can get you everything you could ever want, except sweet, simple dignity.

11pm-3am, Free

THE DIAMOND DICE, MASSA, Hip hop, RnB & grime with your host Mr. Jinx, 10.30pm-3am, £5 FRUNT, THE LIQUID ROOM, DJ Stuart Johnston playing house music all night long, 10.30pm-3am, Free MOTHERFUNK, OPAL LOUNGE, Fryer & Gino play original soul, funk, disco, latin & hip hop, 10pm-3am, Free REWIND, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, 100% upfront RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £2, ladies free b4 12am SPLIT, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Blend of house, techno, drum & bass, breakbeat from Edinburgh locals, healthy mid-week rave, 11.30pm-3am, Free SWING DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Beginners at 7pm, advanced at 8pm, social dancing at 9, 7pm-9pm, £4 (£3) for one, £6 (£5) for both PIVO CAFFE, Trouble DJs, 7pm-3am, Free

WEDNESDAY 3RD JANUARY

CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4)

HOT SUSHI, TOKYO, Lisa Littlewood plays funky house & club classics, 10pm-3am, £tbc INDI-GO, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie & alternative, 10.30pm3am, £2, £1 students INSOMNIA, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, Warner Powers & Claudio bring fresh house tunes each week, 10pm-3am, Free PAUL DALY, PIVO CAFFE, Free flowing funk to house, 9pm3am, Free THE PIT, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock & metal, 11pm-3am, Free STIR FRIED, THE OUTHOUSE, Pre-club with indie & rock from B-Sides & Bootross Rock, 9pm-1am, Free TOASTER, CITRUS CLUB, Breaks & Bobs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm TOXIK, OPIUM, DJ Nu-Clear playing new & old metal & hard rock, 8pm-3am, Free WE ARE … ELECTRIC, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Gary Mac & guests play house, electro, tech-house & breaks with rotating guests in the back, 11.30pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am/members BARAKA, Funk, soul, disco, dancehall & reggae, 8pmlate, Free

www.skinnymag.co.uk

DANNY DEVITO, IN BATMAN RETURNS

It’s always difficult to know how off-beat director Tim Burton will approach anything, but why he made an already ugly man even more so is beyond me. He looks like the kind of dirty kiddy fiddlers who run workhouses in Dickens novels, though his large nose, ruddy complexion and appalling body odour means that he is often mistaken for Peter Stringfellow.

BRAD PITT, IN SNATCH

Rumour has it that Pitt tried to prepare for this role by hanging around with real pikeys, but was foiled when they beat the shit out of him and stole his gold-studded wallet, using the proceeds to buy Buckfast. Undeterred, Pitt instead modelled the character on Noel Edmonds, who he saw being chucked out of a television studio with plans for a whole range of shit quiz shows in his hands.

SEANCONNERY, IN DRAGONHEART

Reports came in after this film was made that this was how Connery actually looked in real life – only with some clever eyebrow hypnosis did he make the world see him in human form. Though he is in many ways like a real person (30 feet tall, wings, green), the defining piece of evidence is that, like the rest of us, he clearly has an intense hatred of Dennis Quaid (pictured) and mauled him shortly after this picture was taken.

MEATLOAF, IN FIGHTCLUB

Bob’s bitch tits are a seminal piece of film history. At once Meatloaf’s tits are repugnant and yet compelling. I wish I was a gaunt Edward Norton, my cheek nuzzled against the old rocker’s gigantic cleavage as he sniffs my hair and tells me everything’s going to be ok. Mmm.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

LIFESTYLE UNDERWORLD Deep in the bowels below Central Station lies Underworld. Better known as a rocking bar for everyone from the indie kids through to the metal kids and Goths, Underworld also do surprisingly good food. Expecting a dark and gloomy reception, it’s incredible to see a grand spiral staircase leading to the bar. The decor seems designed to give a sinister, cavernous impression, but thankfully only the latter is applicable. The clientele consist of young office workers and students, many lured here by the reasonable prices and, of course, the pool table. In comparison to competitors – the chain pubs close by – the food is far superior, with more adventurous options like seafood laksa, several varieties of paella, and a pate plate to name just a few. We opted for rather more standard fare, though. A small helping of Underworld chilli (£7.95) was tasty and, in fact, more than enough. The beef burger (£5.95) was thick, succulent and disappeared quickly. A barbeque chicken baguette (£5.95) was also large and delicious, while the char-grilled sirloin steak (£10.95) was a surprisingly tasty cut and very impressive for what was essentially a pub lunch. Accompaniments of salad and chips were also crisp and well prepared. For the price you’re not going to do much better for an inner-city fill. Apart from the enjoyable food, being underground takes you away from the regular bustle of the city, leaving you free to kick back and relax for the afternoon. It’s a great way to escape work, or prying eyes. [Xavier Toby and Graeme Park] UNDERWORLD, 95 UNION STREET, GLASGOW.

SCOOTS - THE SHEEP HEID

SPORTS CAFE

The Sheep Heid in Duddingston, Edinburgh is a fine country pub a scenic walk’s distance from the middle of town. The Scoot begins at the foot of the Royal Mile, by the Palace and Scottish Parliament at Holyrood. Head towards the looming form of Salisbury Crags (as indicated by our faultless map) then bear left into the gap behind them. Cutting a clear diagonal above is a second line of crags, a kind of geological echo fused into the bulk of the main volcanic plug of Arthur’s Seat. Follow a clear path below these seemingly impassable rocks until it turns into a rough stone stair that winds over the crest. From here great feudal views expand eastwards to North Berwick as well as back over the city. The sense of ‘crossing’ offered by this walk is one of its best features; that, and the appetite it builds for the pub. As you come down into Duddingston there is an easily spotted lantern-lit alley, and found at the far end is the Sheep Heid. Dating from 1360, it’s the oldest pub in Scotland. Until recently it had what might politely be called a ‘deeply rooted’ clientele, and was not exactly friendly towards unexpected visitors. In the past couple of years however, successful efforts have transformed the Sheep Heid into an inviting destination. The food, a hearty mix of Scottish and other traditional recipes, has some impressive combinations thrown in – including an excellent starter of Black Pudding Topped with Goat’s Cheese. Other choices, like venison bangers and mash, or lean meatballs in tomato sauce, are just the thing for filling up after exercise. On top of this they have a Victorian skittle alley (booking recommended) at which you can test your aim and arm. The bus back into town (you can walk if you’re stupid, drunk, or both) first

‘SCOOT’ – AN ADVENTURE YOU CAN EMBARK ON FROM EDINBURGH OR GLASGOW TO A SECRET LITTLE PLACE OF INTEREST.

heads out to Craigmillar on one of the more unusual routes to the city, and ought to land you back into town with time to reflect on a meal well earned. (RJ Thomson) SCOOT: HOLYROOD – ARTHUR’S SEAT, ON FOOT, 10-15 MINS ARTHUR’S SEAT – SHEEP HEID, ON FOOT, 10-15 MINS THE SHEEP HEID INN, 43-45 THE CAUSEWAY, DUDDINGSTON, TEL: 0131 656 6951 SCOOT BACK: LOTHIAN BUS NO. 42, FROM DUDDINSTON RD WWW.SHEEPHEID.CO.UK

POMEGRANATE

VERMILION

EST EST EST

FRESH, WHOLESOME ‘FAST SLOW FOOD’ IN NEWINGTON’S BRAND NEW VEGETARIAN CAFE

RICH IN FOOD, RICH IN SURROUNDINGS

FRESH OBAN MUSSELS WERE TENDER AND FLAVOURSOME; THE BEST IN EDINBURGH I HAVE TASTED.

The first thing to strike you about Pomegranate is its floor. Clean and earthy, its whitewashed stone brings memories of summers spent in cottages by the beach. This homey atmosphere spreads to the wooden tables with board games painted onto their surface, the warm art on the walls and the breakfast bar dividing kitchen and café. The setting reflects the food, which is equally nostalgic, fresh and wholesome. By combining local fruits and vegetables this café provides vegetarian ‘fast slow food’. A spicy mushroom melt is aromatic, filling and freshly made to order, as are the endless combinations of smoothies and juices. Chef and co-proprietor Nick takes pride in offering gourmet food at affordable prices. A baked quesadilla stuffed to burst for £3.50 satisfies larger appetites while a 25p toast caters to weight watchers. Though mainly a lunch and breakfast café, the location can also be hired out for evening cookery demonstrations or parties, providing an alternative start to a night at Potterow’s nearby bars and clubs. Newington no longer lacks a gourmet café for discerning foodies. Pomegranate provides alternative, healthy choices to suit every niche, at a level of professionalism and quality that starts from the floor up. [Hamza Khan]

Vermilion has been providing beautiful food in a sophisticated setting since this building was transformed from a busy newspaper office into a luxury hotel, with the restaurant buried down in the old features department. Now given a stylish makeover, the only link with its past life is the attention to detail which is present everywhere, especially in the food, all quality ingredients and canny combinations. As starters, both the scallops topped with truffled celeriac, and the langoustine bisque are excellent - simple and fresh. While the mains are equally skilfully prepared - the mushrooms in the Chanterelle pie have good flavour and texture and the chicken comes with a foie gras sauce - both can tend towards being too rich. This can make it more difficult to face the dessert menu, a sad thing given the allure of the enigmatic ‘chocolate’, a thrilling combination of chocolate fondue, parfait and ice cream. Rich in food, rich in surroundings, this restaurant remains one of the premier dining experiences in the capital and it is a challenge to imagine the furrowed brows and ringing phones that previously occupied this space. [Laura Esslemont]

Est Est Est oozes class without pretension. The interior is not overly ornate; it’s clean, crisp and ideally lit. Our attentive waiter was superb throughout if a little over-enthusiastic at times, but that’s much better than the nonchalant attitude of so many other waiting staff. We started with the cheese foccacia which arrived promptly, while we waited for our starters. While it was hot, crisp and tasty there could have been more cheese. The starters were then exquisite. Mussels fresh from Oban were tender, fresh and flavoursome; the best in Edinburgh I have tasted. My dining companion opted for the carpaccio, which he carefully devoured then claimed it was the best starter he had ever had. Our mains, mushroom risotto and salmon steak, were slightly disappointing. The tricky risotto was perfectly prepared but tasted a little bland, and the salmon suffered a similar fate, the fish lacking any strong flavour. We were then too full to attempt desert, however the liqueurs and espresso coffees provided were ideal for sitting and digesting a satisfying meal (£10-£20 per head). [Xavier Toby]

THE SCOTSMAN HOTEL, 20 NORTH BRIDGE, OLD TOWN. TEL 0131 556 5565.

WWW.ESTESTEST.CO.UK

POMEGRANATE, 95 ST. LEONARD STREET, EDINBURGH

WWW.THESCOTSMANHOTELGROUP.CO.UK

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

hip hop, breaks, funk & open mic, 8pm-1am, Free FRICTION, LIQUID ROOM, Weekly night with Derek Martin & Stuart Johnston, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), £1 Centro card KAYOS, OPIUM, Rock, metal & indie with residents, 8pm-3am, Free

SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY (LIVE), THE BONGO CLUB,

Dawn of The Replicants, St. Judes Infirmary, The Aphrodisiacs, Lords of Bastard & the 55’s play, 8pm-late, £tbc SIENTELO!, EL BARRIO, Latin America music mixed with chart tunes, 11pm-3am, Free TASTE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Dave Begg (Beatroot) & residents, 11pm-3am, £8 (£6), £5 b4 11.30pm TASTE FOREPLAY, BARAKA, Pre-club with DJ Miss Chris, 8pm-12am, Free LULU, Dava & Andrew Ingram - soul, funk, jazz & disco, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm

MONDAY 18TH DECEMBER

ABSOLUTE, STUDIO 24, Techno & hard house with

Kuffdam & more, 10pm-3am, £7, £5 b4 12am HAPPY MONDAYS, PO NA NA, Night for students & Industry folk, indie, rock & funk, 11pm-3am, £4, free for students THE LATIN QUARTER, MEDINA, Salsa, funk & latin house, 10pm-3am, Free PONY CLUB, TOKYO, Funky house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) ROCK KARAOKE, OPIUM, Rock Karaoke, From 8pm, Free SALSA DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Cuban Salsa, drop-in classes, 7pm for beginners, 8pm for the advanced, 7pm-9pm, £5 SHOTGUN, SUBWAY COWGATE, 70s rock, 11pm-3am, £tbc, free b4 12am SOUNDPROOF, THE OUTHOUSE, Open decks night hosted by the Soundproof DJs, 8pm-1am, Free TRADE UNION, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Night for deserving bar & club staff, DJ Beefy & WolfJazz, 10pm-3am, £2, £1 Trade Union members/ECCF members ZOOT SWING, CAFÉ ROYAL, Swing dance classes, beginners 7pm, improvers 8pm followed by big-band swing jazz & neo-swing beats, 9pm-late, £4.50 (£3.50), free 2HOT, EGO, RnB & hip hop with Ritchie Ruftone & friends, after 9 BARAKA, P-Haze playing mashup, 8.30pm-1am, Free under 18s only (14-17), 6.45pm-9.45pm, £5 HENRYS CELLAR, Flamenco, latin & reggae with Kinkey, ALLSORTS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Chart, cheese & party, 10pm-3am, £3 11pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am LULU, Jez Hill plays classic pop & funk anthems, 8pmTHE EGG, WEE RED BAR, Indie, garage, punk, ska & more 3am, £4, free b4 10pm at the Art College’s long running institution, 11pm-3am, PIVO CAFFE, Monkey Boy, 9pm-3am, Free £5, £4 students/members LIQUID SOUL, PO NA NA, Mark B & guests with chirpy music, 10.30pm-3am, £6, £3 b4 11pm THE DIAMOND DICE, MASSA, Hip hop, RnB & grime LOUNGE, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), Eclectic mix of with your host Mr. Jinx, 10.30pm-3am, £5 tunes, 8pm-1.30am, Free FRUNT, THE LIQUID ROOM, DJ Stuart Johnston playing MUCH MORE, MEDINA, Hip-hop & funk cuts with Nasty P house music all night long, 10.30pm-3am, Free & Cunnie, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm MOTHERFUNK, OPAL LOUNGE, Fryer & Gino play original PARTY NIGHT, EL BARRIO, Salsa night with DJ Papi & Alex soul, funk, disco, latin & hip hop, 10pm-3am, Free Gato, free classes from 10pm, 11pm-3am, Free REWIND, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, 100% upfront RnB & hip hop, RETRIBUTION, STUDIO 24, Goth music for the old, 11pm10pm-3am, £2, ladies free b4 12am 3am, £5, £3 students SPLIT, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Blend of house, techno, drum SATURDAY NIGHT FISH FRY, THE JAZZ BAR, Erik D’Viking & bass, breakbeat from Edinburgh locals, healthy mid& Astroboy with Gecko 3, 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 week rave, 11.30pm-3am, Free 11.30pm SWING DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Beginners SEITEKI SATURDAYS, TOKYO, Funky house, 11pm-3am, at 7pm, advanced at 8pm, social dancing at 9, 7pm£6 9pm, £4 (£3) for one, £6 (£5) for both SOPHISTIFUNK, CITY, John Hutchison (Tokyoblu) plays LULU, Ally Anderson & Hobbes - eclectic soul, 8pm-3am, house remixes, funky RnB & bootlegs, 11pm-3am, £8 £4, free b4 10pm THE SOULCIAL, BARAKA, Yogi Haughton plays rare disco, PIVO CAFFE, Trouble DJs, 7pm-3am, Free funked up house & soul, 8pm-1am, Free TEASE AGE, CITRUS CLUB, All things rock, motown, alternative & soul, 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 11.30pm CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, ULTRAGROOVE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Gareth Somerville 9pm-3am, £5 (£4) playing classic house records, 11pm-3am, £8, £6 with HOT SUSHI, TOKYO, Lisa Littlewood plays funky house & flyer club classics, 10pm-3am, £tbc VEGAS, EGO, Swing, retro music with flamboyance, INDI-GO, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie & alternative, 10pm-3am, £10, £7 fabulous dress 10.30pm-3am, £2, £1 students YUMMI RECORDS, PIVO CAFFE, Yummi Records showINSOMNIA, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, Warner Powers & Claudio case - DJs & local talent, 5pm-3am, Free bring fresh house tunes each week, 10pm-3am, Free ASSEMBLY BAR, Gareth Somerville (Ultragroove) & Jonnie PAUL DALY, PIVO CAFFE, Free flowing funk to house, Lyley (Scratch), 9pm-1am, Free 9pm-3am, Free LULU, Andy Pirie & Hobbes - soul, house, disco & electro, THE PIT, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock & metal, 11pm-3am, 8pm-3am, £7, free b4 10pm Free PIVO CAFFE, Electronic music from house addicts in this STIR FRIED, THE OUTHOUSE, Pre-club with indie & rock warm-up venue, 9pm-3am, Free from B-Sides & Bootross Rock, 9pm-1am, Free TOASTER, CITRUS CLUB, Breaks & Bobs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm BOOTYLUSHOUS, MEDINA, RnB, soul, funk & disco with TOXIK, OPIUM, DJ Nu-Clear playing new & old metal & Trendy Wendy, Dale & Simone, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 b4 hard rock, 8pm-3am, Free 12am WE ARE … ELECTRIC, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Gary Mac, CLUB SIMBA, THE JAZZ BAR, Afro, carribean, RnB, hip hop, Jacek, Trouble DJs & MC Santa, 11.30pm-3am, £2, live pa & audio visual images with DJs Red Alert, Wellaz & free b4 12am/members guests, 10pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm BARAKA, Funk, soul, disco, dancehall & reggae, 8pmCURIOUS? SUNDAY JOINT, THE BONGO CLUB, Diverse late, Free selection of music, free internet & games, 4pm-3am, £3, LULU, Mash & Jon Pleased - past & future electronic clasfree b4 11pm sics, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm DISUKO, TOKYO, John Tokyoblu plays upfront disco, latin house with live percussion & sax from Pepe & saXingh, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2), free b4 11pm BEAT ROOT JUICE CLUB, THE JAZZ BAR, Live afrobeat, FRESHMODE, CITY CAFÉ (DOWNSTAIRS), Peas & DJG play latin & ska from resident band The Goat Stew Orchestra & resident DJ B*Wax, 10pm-3am, Free

SATURDAY 16TH DECEMBER

TUESDAY 19TH DECEMBER

135A GEORGE ST EDINBURGH, 0131 225 2255 CLOSED MON/TUES.

WEDNESDAY 20TH DECEMBER

SUNDAY 17TH DECEMBER

THURSDAY 21ST DECEMBER

0131 667 5616

stuttering dubby edits with DJ Sammy Peeps, 11pm3am, £5 CLUB CLASSICS, PIVO CAFFE, Classic club music from the past 15 years with Scott Elliot, Craig Gee & Gav Grant on rotation, 5pm-3am, Free CULT, PO NA NA, DJ Nicki & guests playing hip hop, disco, funk & RnB, 10pm-3am, £5, £2.50 b4 11pm DE LUXE, HUDSON CLUB, Funky house with resident DJs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 12am ECLECTRO, WEE RED BAR, DJ Quirky plays techno, house & electro, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4), £4 (£3) b4 12am EVOL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie, hip hop, alternative beats & rock, 10.30pm-3am, £5 GET FUNK’D, MEDINA, Double D & Isla play hip hop to house, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm GROOVEJET, TOKYO, Tony McHugh with dancefloor hits, 10pm-3am, £6 JAM FRIDAY, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Pop & cheese, 10pm-3am, £2 MINGIN’, STUDIO 24, Dark, sexy, yet dirty house club, 11pm-3am, £5 MISFITS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Indie, electro, punk, rock, retro & a tequila girl, 11pm-3am, £2 MR. SCRUFF, CABARET VOLTAIRE, A 6 hour set from Ninja Tune’s Mr. Scruff, 9pm-3am, £13 NIGHT TRAIN, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), 8pm-2am, Free PLANET EARTH, CITRUS CLUB, 80s tunes with residents, 10.30pm-3am, £5 SALSA CARIBE!, THE LOT, Salsa DJs on the special wooden dancefloor, 9pm-1.30am, £5, £4 b4 9.30pm SATCHMO SESSIONS, PIVO CAFFE, House Session, 9pm-3am, Free UNKNOWN PLEASURES, TEVIOT UNION, Indie club, 9pm3am, £3 (£2) XPLICIT, THE BONGO CLUB, Scottish debut of Noisia (Vision/Ram) with d&b support from ENO b2b Paul Reset on 3 decks, 11pm-3am, £9 ASSEMBLY BAR, Trouble DJs, 5pm-1am, Free LULU, Blond Flash & Gareth Somerville - house to disco & latin, 8pm-3am, £7, free b4 10pm THE MALTINGS, Open Mic, 9.30pm-late, Free

CLUB LISTINGS CLUB LISTINGS

EATING & DRINKING

www.skinnymag.co.uk

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

EDINBURGH CLUBS

tage cheese, student anthems & requests, 11pm-3am, £2, £1 students, free b4 12am GENETIC, CITRUS CLUB, Night of rock anthems, 11pm3am, £2 GRAFITTI, MEDINA, Kipp$ & Master Caird play party tunes all night, 10pm-3am, £3 (£2) HOUSEBOUND, EGO, Sexy house, funky stuff, electro & HAPPY MONDAYS, PO NA NA, Night for students & Indisco with DJs from Edinburgh & Glasgow, 10pm-3am, £5 dustry folk, indie, rock & funk, 11pm-3am, £4, free for students I FLY SPITFIRES, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Dance Lazarus Dance THE LATIN QUARTER, MEDINA, Salsa, funk & latin house, play live, 11pm-3am, £5 10pm-3am, Free LUCKYME, CITY CAFÉ, Hip hop, soul & off beats, 8.30pmPONY CLUB, TOKYO, Funky house, RnB & hip hop, 1am, Free 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) RED STAR INSTITUTE, RED, Chef De Party, Kenny Breaks & ROCK KARAOKE, OPIUM, Rock Karaoke, From 8pm, local talent, 11pm-3am, Free Free SALSA DISCO, CUBA NORTE, Salsa dance & tasty tapas, SALSA DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Cuban 10pm-1am, Free Salsa, drop-in classes, 7pm for beginners, 8pm for the SHIT TRINKET, WEE RED BAR, Ben & Sam play indie, eclectic advanced, 7pm-9pm, £5 & eccentric, 8pm-late, £4 (£3) SHOTGUN, SUBWAY COWGATE, 70s rock, 11pm-3am, THE SKINNY INDIE DISCO, PIVO CAFFE, Indie classics, £tbc, free b4 12am mash-ups & links, 7pm-3am, Free SOUNDPROOF, THE OUTHOUSE, Open decks night hosted SOULED OUT, OPAL LOUNGE, Soul, disco & dance with by the Soundproof DJs, 8pm-1am, Free Leon Easter (33 45), 9pm-3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11pm TRADE UNION, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Night for deserving SNATCH SOCIAL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Messy night guarbar & club staff, DJ Beefy & WolfJazz, 10pm-3am, £2, anteed at eclectic student bash, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 £1 Trade Union members/ECCF members members ZOOT SWING, CAFÉ ROYAL, Swing dance classes, begin- TROUBLE & FOUR CORNERS PRESENT…, THE BONGO ners 7pm, improvers 8pm followed by big-band swing CLUB, The Quantic Soul Orchestra & Spanky Wilson & jazz & neo-swing beats, 9pm-late, £4.50 (£3.50), free Gecko 3, 8pm-11pm, £13 after 9 TOKYO KYOUYOU, TOKYO, Scott Granger mixes funky BARAKA, P-Haze playing mashup, 8.30pm-1am, Free house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) HENRYS CELLAR, Flamenco, latin & reggae with Kinkey, TRAFFIC, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Indie & alternative, 10pm-3am, £3 11.30pm-2am, Free LULU, Jez Hill plays classic pop & funk anthems, 8pmASSEMBLY BAR, The Departure Lounge DJs, 9pm-1am, 3am, £4, free b4 10pm Free PIVO CAFFE, Monkey Boy, 9pm-3am, Free LULU, Blackbeard, Astroboy & Family - Quantic Soul Orchestra After Party, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm

LOUNGE, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), Eclectic mix of

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal,

BOOTYLUSHOUS, MEDINA, RnB, soul, funk & disco with

chart tunes, 11pm-3am, Free TASTE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Miss Chris, Fisher & Price, Martin Valentine, 11pm-3am, £8 (£6), £5 b4 11.30pm TASTE FOREPLAY, BARAKA, Pre-club with DJ Miss Chris, 8pm-12am, Free

MONDAY 4TH DECEMBER

TUESDAY 5TH DECEMBER 11pm-3am, Free

FRIDAY 8TH DECEMBER

tunes, 8pm-1.30am, Free MUCH MORE, MEDINA, Hip-hop & funk cuts with Nasty P & Cunnie, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm NO STRINGS ATTACHED, LIQUID ROOM, Darren Emerson guests, 10.30pm-3am, £14 PARTY NIGHT, EL BARRIO, Salsa night with DJ Papi & Alex Gato, free classes from 10pm, 11pm-3am, Free PRIME, TRON BASEMENT, Eclectic mix for charity, 9pm1am, £3, £2 b4 9pm RETRIBUTION, STUDIO 24, Goth music for the old, 11pm3am, £5, £3 students SATURDAY NIGHT FISH FRY, THE JAZZ BAR, Erik D’Viking & Astroboy with Irregular Slinky, 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 11.30pm SEITEKI SATURDAYS, TOKYO, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £6 SOPHISTIFUNK, CITY, John Hutchison (Tokyoblu) plays house remixes, funky RnB & bootlegs, 11pm-3am, £8 THE SOULCIAL, BARAKA, Yogi Haughton plays rare disco, funked up house & soul, 8pm-1am, Free TEASE AGE, CITRUS CLUB, All things rock, motown, alternative & soul, 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 11.30pm UFREAK XMAS TECHNOBALL, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Bangbangbangbangbored, 11pm-3am, £5 YUMMI RECORDS, PIVO CAFFE, Yummi Records showcase - DJs & local talent, 5pm-3am, Free ASSEMBLY BAR, Gareth Somerville (Ultragroove) & Jonnie Lyley (Scratch), 9pm-1am, Free LULU, Soul, funk, disco with Kipp$ & Isla Blige, 8pm3am, £7, free b4 10pm PIVO CAFFE, Electronic music from house addicts in this warm-up venue, 9pm-3am, Free

SUNDAY 10TH DECEMBER

BABY DOLL, PO NA NA, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £5, £4 b4 12am

Trendy Wendy, Dale & Simone, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 b4 12am Stars ceilidh band & caller Ken Gourlay, 8pm-late, £10 CLUB SIMBA, THE JAZZ BAR, Afro, carribean, RnB, hip BIG TOE’S HI-FI, WEE RED BAR, Reggae, dub, dancehall & hop, live pa & audio visual images with DJs Red Alert, singing sensations, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4) Wellaz & guests, 10pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm CLUB CLASSICS, PIVO CAFFE, Classic club music from CURIOUS? SUNDAY JOINT, THE BONGO CLUB, Diverse the past 15 years with Scott Elliot, Craig Gee & Gav Grant selection of music, free internet & games, 4pm-3am, £3, free b4 11pm on rotation, 5pm-3am, Free CULT, PO NA NA, DJ Nicki & guests playing hip hop, disco, DISUKO, TOKYO, John Tokyoblu plays upfront disco, latin house with live percussion & sax from Pepe & saXingh, funk & RnB, 10pm-3am, £5, £2.50 b4 11pm 11pm-3am, £3 (£2), free b4 11pm DE LUXE, HUDSON CLUB, Funky house with resident DJs, FRESHMODE, CITY CAFÉ (DOWNSTAIRS), Peas & DJG play 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 12am EVOL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie, hip hop, alternative beats hip hop, breaks, funk & open mic, 8pm-1am, Free FRICTION, LIQUID ROOM, Weekly night with Derek Mar& rock, 10.30pm-3am, £5 tin & Stuart Johnston, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), £1 Centro FUR-BURGER, TWIST, BASEMENT CLUB, Night for girls who card like girls, 10pm-2am, £4

THE DIAMOND DICE, MASSA, Hip hop, RnB & grime with ASSEMBLY ROOMS CEILIDH, ASSEMBLY ROOMS, North your host Mr. Jinx, 10.30pm-3am, £5 FRUNT, THE LIQUID ROOM, DJ Stuart Johnston playing house music all night long, 10.30pm-3am, Free MOTHERFUNK, OPAL LOUNGE, Fryer & Gino play original soul, funk, disco, latin & hip hop, 10pm-3am, Free REWIND, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, 100% upfront RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £2, ladies free b4 12am SPLIT, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Blend of house, techno, drum & bass, breakbeat from Edinburgh locals, healthy midweek rave, 11.30pm-3am, Free SWING DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Beginners at 7pm, advanced at 8pm, social dancing at 9, 7pm9pm, £4 (£3) for one, £6 (£5) for both LULU, Andrew Ingram & Hobbes - eclectic, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm PIVO CAFFE, Trouble DJs, 7pm-3am, Free

GET FUNK’D, MEDINA, Double D & Isla play hip hop to

SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY (LIVE), THE BONGO CLUB,

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal, 11pm-3am, Free

THE DIAMOND DICE, MASSA, Hip hop, RnB & grime with your host Mr. Jinx, 10.30pm-3am, £5 FRUNT, THE LIQUID ROOM, DJ Stuart Johnston playing house music all night long, 10.30pm-3am, Free MOTHERFUNK, OPAL LOUNGE, Fryer & Gino play original soul, funk, disco, latin & hip hop, 10pm-3am, Free REWIND, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, 100% upfront RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £2, ladies free b4 12am SPLIT, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Blend of house, techno, drum & bass, healthy mid-week rave, 11.30pm-3am, Free SWING DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Beginners at 7pm, advanced at 8pm, social dancing at 9, 7pm-9pm, £4 (£3) for one, £6 (£5) for both LULU, Frazer McGlinchey & Hobbes - eclectic soul, 8pm3am, £4, free b4 10pm PIVO CAFFE, Trouble DJs, 7pm-3am, Free

WEDNESDAY 13TH DECEMBER

CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4)

HOT SUSHI, TOKYO, Lisa Littlewood plays funky house & club classics, 10pm-3am, £tbc INDI-GO, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie & alternative, 10.30pm3am, £2, £1 students INSOMNIA, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, Warner Powers & Claudio bring fresh house tunes each week, 10pm-3am, Free PAUL DALY, PIVO CAFFE, Free flowing funk to house, 9pm3am, Free THE PIT, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock & metal, 11pm-3am, Free STIR FRIED, THE OUTHOUSE, Pre-club with indie & rock from B-Sides & Bootross Rock, 9pm-1am, Free TOASTER, CITRUS CLUB, Breaks & Bobs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm TOXIK, OPIUM, DJ Nu-Clear playing new & old metal & hard rock, 8pm-3am, Free WE ARE … ELECTRIC, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Gary Mac & Kev Wright with Reachout in the back, 11.30pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am/members

WHAT NEXT, COCTEAU LOUNGE (DOWNSTAIRS AT EGO),

Indie, artrock & agitpop, 11pm-3am, £3 BARAKA, Funk, soul, disco, dancehall & reggae, 8pm-late, Free LULU, Mash & Jon Pleased - past & future electronic classics, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm

To a T

by RJ Thomson

- MAKE YOUR OWN SHIRT

LIFESTYLE

LISTINGS

‘I’M NO VEGETARIAN BUT I’M OFF MY CHOPS’ For a while, the folks at Fabrick had been telling us here at The Skinny about the amazing feats they perform when it comes to T-shirt printing. They assured us they could print professional quality designs onto just about any item of clothing, either from their own range or on an item brought in by a customer, all while you wait. Curiosity aroused, we decided – within the limits of legitimate research – to put them to the test.

to acclaim one Saturday night. In an age when standing out from the crowd is – or so we are told – in fashion, what better way to do it than to wear your personality on your sleeve? FABRICK, COCKBURN STREET OPEN 10.30-6.00 MON –SAT, 12.00-5.00 SUN AVERAGE T-SHIRT PRICE £20 WWW.WKETSHIRTS.CO.UK

As the assigned clotheshorse, I was keen to make sure the design would encapsulate a personal theme, as well as offering up a challenge to the T-shirt makers. I was encouraged by Mike, the shop manager, who indicated some of the phrases previous customers had opted to print, including: ‘I shot Tim Westwood’, ‘I’m no vegetarian but I’m off my chops’, and, with near-tragic quaintness, ‘Fishing Widow’. I decided to take a line of verse I had written for a fancy dress party as a caption. The dress code on that occasion had been ‘The Letter G’, and as the Grim Reaper I had decorated my balsa wood scythe with the semibiblical maxim: ‘Through envy of the devil came death into the world, / Ane lanky gotho shitebag wi priorities a twirled.’ To match this mouthful I wanted a suitable image, and the tiny, retro-pixelated grim reaper I found on a club flyer was perfect. Despite his diminutive stature the Fabrick team were able to boost him up and reconfigure him to size (though he’s still kinda cute, as Deaths go). My personal eccentricities are unlikely to appeal to all would be T-shirt designers, but do go to show that even the most particular tastes can be catered for. The T itself is a stylish American Apparel cut, and I’m extremely pleased with the result – having debuted it

THURSDAY 14TH DECEMBER

ALTER EGO, PO NA NA, DJ Diverse with indie, rock n roll & electro, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3)

BEAT ROOT JUICE CLUB, THE JAZZ BAR, Live afrobeat from The Goat Stew Orchestra & resident DJ B*Wax, 10pm3am, Free

BLACK TAPE, COCTEAU LOUNGE (DOWNSTAIRS AT EGO),

Bring Your Own Tunes/apply for a set on the night, 11pm3am, £3 BOUNCE, PO NA NA, DJ 2three playing urban sounds, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) CLASS!, SUBWAY COWGATE, DJ Lucky Luciano student anthems, 11pm-3am, £2, £1 students, free b4 12am GENETIC, CITRUS CLUB, Night of rock anthems, 11pm3am, £2 GRAFITTI, MEDINA, Kipp$ & Master Caird play party tunes all night, 10pm-3am, £3 (£2) HOUSEBOUND, EGO, Sexy house, funky stuff, electro & disco with DJs from Edinburgh & Glasgow, 10pm-3am, £5 HAPPY MONDAYS, PO NA NA, rock & funk, 11pm-3am, LUCKYME, CITY CAFÉ, Hip hop, soul & off beats, 8.30pm£4, free for students 1am, Free THE LATIN QUARTER, MEDINA, Salsa, funk & latin house, SALSA DISCO, CUBA NORTE, Salsa dance & tasty tapas, 10pm-3am, Free 10pm-1am, Free PONY CLUB, TOKYO, Funky house, RnB & hip hop, THE SKINNY INDIE DISCO, PIVO CAFFE, Indie classics, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) SUGARBEAT MEETS SOLESCIENCE, CABARET VOLSYSTEM SOUNDBAR, RED, Red Vodka Club club DJs, mash-ups & links, 7pm-3am, Free ROCK KARAOKE, OPIUM, Rock Karaoke, From 8pm, TAIRE, DJ Yoda in one room, Greg Wilson in the other, 10pm-3am, Free SOULED OUT, OPAL LOUNGE, Soul, disco & dance with Free TOASTER, CITRUS CLUB, Breaks & Bobs, 11pm-3am, £3, 10.30pm-3am, £10 Leon Easter (33 45), 9pm-3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11pm UNKNOWN PLEASURES, TEVIOT UNION, Indie club, 9pm- SALSA DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Cuban free b4 11.30pm SNATCH SOCIAL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Messy night guarSalsa, drop-in classes, 7pm for beginners, 8pm for the 3am, £3 (£2) TOXIK, OPIUM, DJ Nu-Clear playing new & old metal & anteed at eclectic student bash, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 advanced, 7pm-9pm, £5 ASSEMBLY BAR, Trouble DJs, 5pm-1am, Free hard rock, 8pm-3am, Free members SHOTGUN, SUBWAY COWGATE, 70s rock, 11pm-3am, LULU, Al Kent & Gareth Somerville soul, funk, house, WE ARE … ELECTRIC, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Gary Mac & TOKYO KYOUYOU, TOKYO, Scott Granger mixes funky £tbc, free b4 12am Teme Nosce DJs with Ruiri in the back, 11.30pm-3am, disco, 8pm-3am, £7, free b4 10pm house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3) SOUNDPROOF, THE OUTHOUSE, Open decks night hostTHE MALTINGS, Open Mic, 9.30pm-late, Free £2, free b4 12am/members TRAFFIC, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Indie & alternative, ed by the Soundproof DJs, 8pm-1am, Free BARAKA, Funk, soul, disco, dancehall & reggae, 8pm11.30pm-2am, Free TRADE UNION, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Night for deserving late, Free WHITE HEAT/SPIES IN THE WIRES, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Sh1tLULU, Mash & Jon Pleased - past & future electronic clas- 2HOT, EGO, RnB & hip hop with Ritchie Ruftone & friends, bar & club staff, DJ Beefy & WolfJazz, 10pm-3am, £2, disco, G@y Against You plus Haunted House all play live, £1 Trade Union members/ECCF members under 18s only (14-17), 6.45pm-9.45pm, £5 sics, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm 11pm-3am, £5, £3 online flyer ZOOT SWING, CAFÉ ROYAL, Swing dance classes, ALLSORTS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Chart, cheese & party, ASSEMBLY BAR, The Departure Lounge DJs, 9pm-1am, beginners 7pm, improvers 8pm followed by big-band 11pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am Free ALTER EGO, PO NA NA, DJ Diverse with indie, rock n roll & DISKOKITTEN, BERLIN, Christmas Party - dress like an elf swing jazz & neo-swing beats, 9pm-late, £4.50 LULU, Mad Mats, Astroboy & Family play pirate soul, latin (£3.50), free after 9 ken, with chart & bootlegs, 10pm-3am, £7, £5 memelectro, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) & funk with special guest from Raw Fusion Stockholm, BARAKA, P-Haze playing mashup, 8.30pm-1am, Free bers/b4 12am AUTO, EGO, Alternative music, 11.30pm-3am, £3 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm HENRYS CELLAR, Flamenco, latin & reggae with Kinkey, THE EGG, WEE RED BAR, Indie, garage, punk, ska & more BEAT ROOT JUICE CLUB, THE JAZZ BAR, Live afrobeat, 10pm-3am, £3 latin & ska from resident band The Goat Stew Orchestra at the Art College’s long running institution, 11pm-3am, LULU, Jez Hill plays classic pop & funk anthems, 8pm£5, £4 students/members & resident DJ B*Wax, 10pm-3am, Free BEATROOT, COCTEAU LOUNGE (DOWNSTAIRS AT EGO), 3am, £4, free b4 10pm FEVER, EGO, Fisher & Price & Martin Valentine, 11pmBOUNCE, PO NA NA, DJ 2three playing urban sounds, House & techno with Jonathan Spaczynski & residents, PIVO CAFFE, Monkey Boy, 9pm-3am, Free 3am, £10 (£8), £5 taste members b4 11.15pm 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) 10pm-3am, £6 (£5) CLASS!, SUBWAY COWGATE, DJ Lucky Luciano plays vin- LIQUID SOUL, PO NA NA, Mark B & guests with chirpy BOOGALOO BOTHY, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Architeq live music, 10.30pm-3am, £6, £3 b4 11pm house, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm GROOVEJET, TOKYO, Tony McHugh with dancefloor hits, 10pm-3am, £6 CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, JAM FRIDAY, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Pop & cheese, 10pm-3am, £2 9pm-3am, £5 (£4) HOT SUSHI, TOKYO, Lisa Littlewood plays funky house & MISFITS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Indie, electro, punk, rock, retro & a tequila girl, 11pm-3am, £2 club classics, 10pm-3am, £tbc NIGHT TRAIN, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), 8pm-2am, INDI-GO, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie & alternative, Free 10.30pm-3am, £2, £1 students NOT SO DIRTY, RED, House music with Derek Martin, INSOMNIA, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, Warner Powers & Claudio 10pm-3am, £3 (£2) bring fresh house tunes each week, 10pm-3am, Free PLANET EARTH, CITRUS CLUB, 80s tunes with residents, PAUL DALY, PIVO CAFFE, Free flowing funk to house, 10.30pm-3am, £5 9pm-3am, Free SALSA CARIBE!, THE LOT, Salsa DJs on the special woodTHE PIT, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock & metal, 11pm-3am, en dancefloor, 9pm-1.30am, £5, £4 b4 9.30pm Free STIR FRIED, THE OUTHOUSE, Pre-club with indie & rock from SATCHMO SESSIONS, PIVO CAFFE, House Session, 9pm-3am, Free B-Sides & Bootross Rock, 9pm-1am, Free

WEDNESDAY 6TH DECEMBER

Alternative music for justified sinners, 10.30pm-3am, £3, free b4 11pm SIENTELO!, EL BARRIO, Latin America music mixed with chart tunes, 11pm-3am, Free TASTE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Nick Warren, Fisher & Price, Martin Valentine, 11pm-3am, £8 (£6), £5 b4 11.30pm TASTE FOREPLAY, BARAKA, Pre-club with DJ Miss Chris, 8pm-12am, Free LULU, Ally Anderson & Dava with classic hip hop, disco & funk, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm

MONDAY 11TH DECEMBER

SATURDAY 9TH DECEMBER

THURSDAY 7TH DECEMBER

FRIDAY 15TH DECEMBER

TUESDAY 12TH DECEMBER

56 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

ALL STAR, BAMBOO, Andy Wilson plays funk with DJ Kash

LEO

SCORPIO

AQUARIUS

TAURUS

‘Tis the season to be jolly – Fa la la la la la la la la. Wear red if you want someone to notice you.

The greatest gift is the gift of life but teenage pregnancy is so unsightly. Watch out, it’s catching. Keep an eye out for a handsome shop keeper

Like the old TV re-runs of the Great Escape, now’s your chance to bolt. Why change the habit of a lifetime? Wear glasses to look more interesting.

Love is in the air so keep the mistletoe handy and remember, gingers love kisses too. Orange will be your lucky colour.

SAGITTARIUS

PISCES

GEMINI

LIBRA

With Rudolph and the reindeers flying around Uranus, your aspirations to be an elf increase tenfold. December is your month.

You will get everything you wish for this year. All of us astrologers know that Pisces is the best. A dark Arian will make you smile.

If your dad is a coal-miner ask Santa for a tangerine. Number three will be lucky for you.

There’s someone at work who loves you. Could they be the stuffing in your turkey? Avoid men in black.

CAPRICORN

ARIES

With Pluto no longer recognised as a planet, you are no longer recognised as a person. You will be lonely this Christmas. Solace is found in an internet chat room.

Have you been good this year? Will there be any presents under the tree? Are you sure? It’s not too late to make amends.

With Saturn in its third wake, pudding doesn’t make you fat. Eat pudding! Cream and custard will be your friends.

VIRGO Popping a cracker with a stranger will reveal more than a one liner. And you will get a lovely hat.

CANCER

THE CULTURE VULTURE TEAR IT UP Australian scientists have developed an air guitar t-shirt. This electrified item is motion sensitive, and allows teenage boys who don’t know how to play guitar or use a computer to make a glorious racket. Sensors in the elbows and around the lower tummy area ‘know’ how shit hot you are, and make ‘rawk’ noises accordingly. It is unknown whether the samples used were taken from Australian rock bands or proper ones, but excitement remains high because self-delusion is tied to the human soul like a vertigo-suffering nudist on a broken ski-lift. Colours available are death black, night black, faded black and back in black.

COCAINE AWARENESS WEEK A marginally wired spokesperson for the Scottish Executive announced to the Skinny in the pub: “we have launched a new initiative to find out how much folk know about chang.” Then they called us “sweetie.” Special padded cells have been designed for citizens to sit in for

GLASGOW CLUBS CONT...

on the hip pop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 11pm/ 12.30am with matric DUB & GRUB, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Snacks, meals & Mungo’s HiFi, 5pm-late, Free FOLK IT!, THE MIXING ROOMS, Up & coming folk musician session, From 8pm, Free FUNKY LUV, PLAY, Driving vocal house, 10pm-3am, £5, £3 NUS INFLATABLE FUN, THE GARAGE, Naughty Nicola with inflatables & groovy tunes, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 12am with PIYP KALEIDOSCOPE LIVE, ABC2, Old school rock & roll, soul, funk, from the 1960’s-1980’s , 10pm-3am, £3, free with matric. After 12am KILLER KITSCH, THE BUFF CLUB, Electroclash & that, 11pm3am, £4 (£3) REVOLUTION, QMU, Rock & punk with Martin Bate (XFM), 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members ROCK KARAOKE, THE CATHOUSE, Free b4 12am T.I.T., KARBON, Lisa Littlewood & Graeme Ferguson, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4)

EDINBURGH CLUBS FRIDAY 1ST DECEMBER

BeatKaos) plus residents, 10.30pm-3am, £10 SHARI VARI, THE VAULTS, The Outlet Collective (London) BACRADI B-LIVE, OPAL LOUNGE, Frank Tope (Rooty/ bring Detroit techno, soul, hip hop & disco vibes with Space) with Gino, an MTV breakdancing champion & Shari Vari residents in support, 10.30pm-3am, £4, £3 saxingh, 11pm-3am, £6 b4 12am BUNKER, WEE RED BAR, Electro, house & techno, TROUBLE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Early Christmas party with 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4) Glasgow’s Boom Monk Ben (Mixed Bizness), Black CLUB CLASSICS, PIVO CAFFE, Classic club music from the past 15 years with Scott Elliot, Craig Gee & Gav Grant International (live), plus Dfrnt Drum & Trouble residents, 11pm-3am, £6, (£5) on rotation, 5pm-3am, Free UNKNOWN PLEASURES, TEVIOT UNION, Indie club, 9pmCULT, PO NA NA, DJ Nicki & guests playing hip hop, disco, 3am, £3 (£2) funk & RnB, 10pm-3am, £5, £2.50 b4 11pm ASSEMBLY BAR, Trouble DJs, 5pm-1am, Free DE LUXE, HUDSON CLUB, Funky house with resident DJs, LULU, Ally Anderson & Blond Flash - soul, funk & house, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 12am 8pm-3am, £7, free b4 10pm EVOL, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie, hip hop, alternative beats THE MALTINGS, Open Mic, 9.30pm-late, Free & rock, 10.30pm-3am, £5 FAKE, STUDIO 24, Electro-house/clash/mash potato, plus a live set from The Everlasting Blink, 11pm-3am, £4, £3 2HOT, EGO, RnB & hip hop with Ritchie Ruftone & members/students friends, under 18s only (14-17), 6.45pm-9.45pm, £5 FAST , THE BONGO CLUB, The Gussets live with other punk, ALLSORTS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Chart, cheese & party, garage & electro explosion, 11pm-3am, £5 11pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am FIMBULVETR, TEVIOT UNDERGROUND, Down-tempo, ambi- THE EGG, WEE RED BAR, Indie, garage, punk, ska & more ART OF PARTIES, GSA, Live acts & DJs from across the ent & doom with live music from SonVer, 9pm-1am, £3 at the Art College’s long running institution, 11pm-3am, (£2 b4 9pm/EDGAR) genres, 10.30pm-3am, £4 - £0 £5, £4 students/members FREQBEAT, RED, Electro, tech & breaks with guest Ian DELIVERANCE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Dec with HEADSPIN, THE BONGO CLUB, With special hat wearing Brandon, 10pm-3am, £3, £2 ECCF alternative music, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12am guest Norman Jay, 10.30pm-3am, £9 with PIYP GET FUNK’D, MEDINA, Double D & Isla play hip hop to LIQUID SOUL, PO NA NA, Mark B & guests with chirpy ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street house, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm music, 10.30pm-3am, £6, £3 b4 11pm Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD GROOVEJET, TOKYO, Tony McHugh with dancefloor hits, LOUNGE, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), Eclectic mix of 10pm-3am, £6 GOSSIP, SSU, Gay/mixed night with DJ Ricci, 8pm-late, tunes, 8pm-1.30am, Free Free JAM FRIDAY, HERIOT-WATT UNIVERSITY, Pop & cheese, LUVELY, LIQUID ROOM, Monthly dance party, 10pm-3am, JOINTS & JAMS, CUBE, The Longest running RnB night in 10pm-3am, £2 £12 (£10) MISFITS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Indie, electro, punk, rock, Glasgow, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2) MUCH MORE, MEDINA, Hip-hop & funk cuts with Nasty retro & a tequila girl, 11pm-3am, £2 MJAM SALSA, LIPTONS, Salsa classes from 8pm with P & Cunnie, 10pm-3am, £4, £3 b4 11pm Chris Traynor, free club from 10.15pm, 8pm-12am, Free MODERN LOVERS, COCTEAU LOUNGE (DOWNSTAIRS AT PARTY NIGHT, EL BARRIO, Salsa night with DJ Papi & Alex NEW FLESH, FURY MURRY’S, Rock, metal, punk, rap, indus- EGO), Official Arab Strap Aftershow Party with Stuart Gato, free classes from 10pm, 11pm-3am, Free trial & alternative music, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 from 10pm- Braithwaite (Mogwai), 11pm-3am, £6, £5 with Arab RETRIBUTION, STUDIO 24, Goth music for the old, 11pmStrap ticket 11pm, £1 with flyer/after 11pm 3am, £5, £3 students NIGHT TRAIN, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), 8pm-2am, OCTOPUSSY, THE ARCHES, Student night with a bouncy SATURDAY NIGHT FISH FRY, THE JAZZ BAR, Erik D’Viking castle, swimming pool?, jacuzzi?? & wedding chapel???, Free & Astroboy with Found (live), 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 PLANET EARTH, CITRUS CLUB, 80s tunes with residents, 10pm-3am, £4 11.30pm 10.30pm-3am, £5 TONGUE IN CHEEK, BAMBOO, Lounge, RnB & indie, SEITEKI SATURDAYS, TOKYO, Funky house, 11pm-3am, SALSA CARIBE!, THE LOT, Salsa DJs on the special wood- £6 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with matric en dancefloor, 9pm-1.30am, £5, £4 b4 9.30pm WHATEVER, THE GARAGE, Andy & Brian, chart music, SOPHISTIFUNK, CITY, John Hutchison (Tokyoblu) plays 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP SATCHMO SESSIONS, PIVO CAFFE, House Session, house remixes, funky RnB & bootlegs, 11pm-3am, £8 THE BUNKER BAR, Martin Bate (Beat 106) plays vintage rock 9pm-3am, Free SUMO, BERLIN, 2nd birthday with house & sax in two SEQUENTIAL, STUDIO 24, Drum & bass with Baron (Break& indie, 9pm-late, Free rooms, 10pm-5am, £7

SATURDAY 2ND DECEMBER

WEDNESDAY 3RD JANUARY

the duration of the week, exposed on rotation to classic cuts by Dillinger, John Martyn, and Wayne Smith – to give them a balanced sense of the plusses and minuses of the drug. Studies have shown that after hearing ‘Under Mi Sleng Teng’ two thousand times, most people are insane anyway. Participation is compulsory for the over-fives.

magazine The Lost has left to take charge of a ‘heavy’ architectural institution in Glasgow. Asked to comment on his favourite novel To the Lighthouse, he was heard to say “I decided to quit while I was just about ahead.” So it isn’t a simple question of the fickle forces of chance? “No, it’s definitely the Skinny, not the wind that shakes the Barley.”

DESIGNER VAGINAS

BOND ON BOND

Women are increasingly turning to plastic surgery to enhance the sensitivity and aesthetic properties of their vaginas. This is a fact. It was on Channel 4. One lady, Maureen McKillop of Dalkeith, recently had herself recut to resemble Leonardo Da Vinci’s masterpiece ‘The Last Supper’. “I just want people to see my secret smile as a timeless work of art,” she said. This isn’t strictly a fact. But it would be good if it was true.

In the wake of the London premiere for the new bond film Casino Royale, a drunken Sean Connery denied he was organizing a six-way battle royale with the actors who have played the famed secret agent, in order to find out who truly is the best.

SAFELY ON THE ROCKS The Editor of semi-popular Scottish lifestyle and listings

“There’s no point,” said Sir Sean, as he chugged back a sixth double jagermeister while shagging a cocktail waitress. “Everyone knows I’m the best, and besides it would be impossible to get the guys together. Lazenby’s work with the Far Right keeps him really busy, and last

I heard, Roger had created a crude but ef fective time machine that takes him b a c k to th e e a r l y 80s – a point before his nob fell off due to syphilis.” T imothy Dalton is reported to be interested in the project, provided he can get time off from being unemployed. Brosnan and Craig are believed to have had a recent staring contest in a Soho nightclub, where Pierce’s furrowed brow fought with Daniel’s pout till the tension became too great and they both walked home, hand in hand.

THE SOULCIAL, BARAKA, Yogi Haughton plays rare disco, funked up house & soul, 8pm-1am, Free TEASE AGE, CITRUS CLUB, All things rock, motown, alternative & soul, 11pm-3am, £5, free b4 11.30pm ULTRAGROOVE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Bacardi B-Live Party with Speaker Junk (live) in the main room & The Nextmen in the backroom, 11pm-3am, £10, £8 with flyer/NUS VELVET, MARINERS, For gay girlies & their friends, 9.30pm-2am, £6 (£5), £4 b4 10.30pm YUMMI RECORDS, PIVO CAFFE, Yummi Records showcase - DJs & local talent, 5pm-3am, Free ASSEMBLY BAR, Gareth Somerville (Ultragroove) & Jonnie Lyley (Scratch), 9pm-1am, Free LULU, Blond Flash & Hobbes, 8pm-3am, £7, free b4 10pm PIVO CAFFE, Electronic music from house addicts in this warm-up venue, 9pm-3am, Free

SUNDAY 3RD DECEMBER

BABY DOLL, PO NA NA, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £5, £4 b4 12am

BACRADI B-LIVE, LULU, Invitation only party with Joey

CLUB LISTINGS

Stars

LIFESTYLE

by Billy Crystal

Negro, Pete Simpson & Al Kent!, 10pm-3am, Invite only BOOTYLUSHOUS, MEDINA, RnB, soul, funk & disco with Trendy Wendy, Dale & Simone, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 b4 12am CLUB SIMBA, THE JAZZ BAR, Afro, carribean, RnB, hip hop, live pa & audio visual images with DJs Red Alert, Wellaz & guests, 10pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm CURIOUS? SUNDAY JOINT, THE BONGO CLUB, Diverse selection of music, free internet & games, 4pm-3am, £3, free b4 11pm DISUKO, TOKYO, John Tokyoblu plays upfront disco, latin house with live percussion & sax from Pepe & saXingh, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2), free b4 11pm FRESHMODE, CITY CAFÉ (DOWNSTAIRS), Peas & DJG play hip hop, breaks, funk & open mic, 8pm-1am, Free FRICTION, LIQUID ROOM, Weekly night with Derek Martin & Stuart Johnston, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), £1 Centro card KAYOS, OPIUM, Rock, metal & indie with residents, 8pm-3am, Free

SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY (LIVE), THE BONGO CLUB,

Alternative music for justified sinners with Mystery Juice & Roys Iron dna, 10.30pm-3am, £3, free b4 11pm SIENTELO!, EL BARRIO, Latin America music mixed with

London Calling? THIS MONTH: JULIE FLETCHER

“I WANT TO STAY IN SCOTLAND. I LOVE SCOTLAND.” “I kind of fell into card making because of the job I got after graduating,” explains Julie when I ask her why she chose her particular discipline as a career. Not a story of burning passion perhaps, but still, she is obviously one of those lucky people who are doing a job they love. “As long as I can paint or draw,” she says. After two years working for a card company in London Julie took some time out to go travelling before moving back to Scotland and starting up on her own. She works mainly for two major companies and her cards – cute, colourful and quirky – have been sold in John Lewis, Selfridges and Harrods as well as many independent shops across the country. It isn’t hard working up here in Edinburgh. Julie says: “[the card companies] are all in England [but] it kinda doesn’t matter where I am really, as long as I am near a post office!” Since she moved to Edinburgh a year ago (from Argyll), and found some studio space in the city, her working life has improved hugely. “It’s like a little shoe-box,” she laughs, but admits: “That studio was a turning point. I didn’t ever mind

working from home but as soon as I had somewhere to go everything was much easier: home was home and work was work. You don’t get sidetracked by the TV, or the kettle or making yourself sandwiches all through the day.” Freelance work is of course what many hanker after; the freedom and the f lexibility it represents: “I’ll take a week off for a holiday if I’ve got my work all done.” But of course it does have its downsides. “I stay late or work the weekend if I’ve got stuff to finish.” Julie sees herself carrying on with card designing but also hopes to do more illustration. “I’ve been doing young children’s board books, that’s quite exciting, but I’d really like to do some older kid’s books. I would write my own if I had a good idea! I’ve been trying for about ten years but I don’t have any! If something hit me then maybe I would.” Edinburgh is home now and Julie plans to stay. “I want to stay in Scotland. I love Scotland. I don’t see myself leaving anytime in the near future.”

by Sarah Hunter

photo: Jane Fenton

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

play funk, soul & rock n roll, 10.30pm-5am, £4 (£3), free b4 11pm/12.30am with matric PUMP UP THE JAM, SSU, Old school cheese, live bands & funky house, £2 RADIOMAGNETIC, GAZELLE, Funk, soul & latin grooves with Radiomagnetic DJs, From 8pm, Free RECORD PLAYERZ, THE VIC BAR, Hi-Fi Sean & Hushpuppy play disco electro, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) RUBBERMENSCH, ABC2, A night for indie lovers, 11pm3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with matric. SKINT, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Billy with metal hip hop & rock, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with PIYP THE THURSDAY CLUB, THE GARAGE, Gerry Lyons & Brian playing chart anthems, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 12am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, CJ plays grunge & new rock, 9pm-3am, Free

jazz & funk, 9pm-3am, £5, free b4 10.30pm/12.30am students I LOVE THE GARAGE, THE GARAGE, Classics, 10.30pm3am, £7 (£5), £6 (£4) b4 12am KARBON SATURDAYS, KARBON, Kev McFarlane, Stephen Lee, Woody play house & hip hop classics, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc MIND THE GAP, THE ARCHES, Minimal music with Donnacha Costello (live) & Alexkid (F Comm), 10.30pm-3am, £10 NU-SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Fresh northern soul, jazz & funk featuring live percussion, classics downstairs, 10.30pm-3am, £6 OPEN DEX, DEEP 6 (GUU), Bring your vinyl/CDs if you think you can do better, 9pm-1am, £1, £2 non-members SUBCULTURE, THE SUB CLUB, With Santa Weatherall, 11pm-3am, £8, £5 b4 12am VOODOO, THE CATHOUSE, Under-18 club with metal, emo & punk, 5pm-9pm, £6 (£3) THE BUNKER BAR, DJ Toast & Mash, 9pm-3am, Free THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Andy with all things rock, 10.30pm-3am, £6 (£5), free b4 12am with PIYP CHINAWHITE, DJ Naeem playing main room RnB & classics, Mirrirbaw playing dunky house in the Mao room, 10pm-3am, £10 THE GOAT, Paul Needles, 8pm-late, Free MACSORLEYS, Jazz band downstairs, Paul Cawley & Karim The Pro-Vinylist upstairs, 9pm-late, Free REPUBLIC BIER HALLE, Leftfield music & pizzas, 9pm-12am, Free

GLASGOW CLUBS industrial & alternative music, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 from 10pm-11pm, £1 with flyer/after 11pm OCTOPUSSY, THE ARCHES, Student night with a bouncy castle, swimming pool?, jacuzzi?? & wedding chapel???, 10pm-3am, £4 SENSU, THE SUB CLUB, Mr. C & Lawrence/Sten , 10pm4am, £8 (£6), £6 (£5) b4 12am TONGUE IN CHEEK, BAMBOO, Lounge, RnB & indie, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with matric WHATEVER, THE GARAGE, Andy & Brian, chart music, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, Martin Bate (Beat 106) plays vintage rock & indie, 9pm-late, Free

THURSDAY 28 DECEMBER

*.*, THE BUFF CLUB, Rock’n’roll & northern soul, 11pm3am, £3

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian

martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc BABAZA, BELO, Hip hop with the funk, 10pm-3am, £6, free b4 11pm ABC FRIDAYS, ABC1, Genre mash-up from Euan Neilson, CHIX ON DEX, CHINAWHITE, Rock, funkpunk & house all 11pm-3am, £6 (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. mixed by lovely ladies, 10pm-3am, £4, free b4 11pm BALLBREAKER, THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Billy with rock & CIGARETTES & F**K ALL, THE BUTTERFLY & THE PIG, Craig metal, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free McGee plays indie & rock ‘n’ roll, 9pm-late, Free b4 11.30am with PIYP CLUB OLUM, CLASSIC GRAND, Vancouver Deluxe & Dirty BOOGIE DOWN, BLUU, The groove-merchant Stewart Marc, 10.30pm-3am, £4, £2 b4 12am Reid plays a jazz, disco & house sound, 10pm-3am, CRUSH, QMU, With McSleazy (XFM) & his bootlegs, £5, free b4 11pm 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members BROWN BAGGIN’ IT, THE GARAGE, Retro, britpop, alterFREAKSCENE, POLAR BAR (ABC), Indie classics with John, native, chill, RnB & soul, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 11pm-3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with matric. 11.30pm with PIYP HOMEBREW, THE SUB CLUB, Hip hop to nasty electro via CAMOUFLAGE, THE SOUNDHAUS, A retro games special CLUB CUBA!, FAVELA, Latin rhythms, 9pm-late, Free the rest with Tiff Peaches, Provinylist Karim Ill Technique with Tino, Gusbo, Espion, Bitskit, Jakeone & Dom CLUB PRIORY: RETOX ROOMS, BLANKET, RnB with DJ & Groundskeeper GC, 11pm-3am, £3, £2 matric. D’Sylva, 10pm-4am, £10 (£8) card COMPUTELOVE, THE MIXING ROOMS, Electronic sounds, Richard Levinson, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) COLD NIGHT SONG, THE GOAT, Guests & DJs play LOLLIPOP, GUU, Pop, RnB & Indie , 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, From 8pm, Free £1), free b4 9pm acoustic gems, 8pm-late, Free ELECTROBALL, KARBON, 80’s, nu-wave, rock & punk, DISCO BADGER, BAMBOO, Classic house music all night ON DEMAND, THE SHED, DJ Euan takes requests by text 10.30pm-3am, £tbc message at this interactive club night, 10.30pm-3am, long from Dominic Martin, other boogie from Kash & FLUID, MAS, Funky house from Lisa Littlewood, 11pm3am, £5 Max, 10pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 10.30pm/12.30pm £3 PLASTIC FUNK, BAMBOO, Mark Robb, Tania & friends with matric FREAKMENOOVERS, RUST BAR, Early doors serving of play funk, soul & rock n roll, 10.30pm-5am, £4 (£3), JUNK, THE BUFF CLUB, Jazz & funk, with Marky Mark hip hop, funk, RnB & soul, 9pm-12am, Free FREAKMENOOVERS, BLANKET, Fresh hip hop & funk cuts featuring live percussion by Duffy, 11pm-3am, £3, free free b4 11pm/12.30am with matric PUMP UP THE JAM, SSU, Old school cheese, live bands with matric from the Freakmenoovers DJs, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4) NOJ, POLAR BAR (ABC), No Music Policy, 11pm-3am, £6 OPTIMO, THE SUB CLUB, JD Twitch & Wilkes will play pretty & funky house, £2 RADIOMAGNETIC, GAZELLE, Funk, soul & latin grooves much anything and mix it well, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. SPANK, THE CATHOUSE, Rock, punk & dance, 11pm-3am, with Radiomagnetic DJs, From 8pm, Free OLD SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Old school tunes with £4 (£2), free b4 1am with PIYP RECORD PLAYERZ, THE VIC BAR, Hi-Fi Sean & HushpupGordie & Jack, 10.30pm-3am, £6 THE BUNKER BAR, Neil Wyper playing new & old rock & py play disco electro, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) RED & GOLD ROOM, ARTA, Soul musak, 10pm-3am, electronica, 9pm-late, Free RUBBERMENSCH, ABC2, A night for indie lovers, 11pm£7, free b4 11pm 3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with matric. ROCKET, BAMBOO, House music from Geoff M, hip hop SKINT, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Billy with metal hip hop & lounge from Junior Campos & Max, 9pm-3am, £5, BURN, THE BUFF CLUB, Glasgow institition with Normski & & rock, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with free b4 10.30pm/12.30am students Zeus playing underground classics, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), PIYP SOUND MUSEUM, BREL, DJ Hushpuppy (Art School) free for pub/club workers THE THURSDAY CLUB, THE GARAGE, Gerry Lyons & Brian & Chris Geddes (Belle & Sebastian) dig out some retro POPTIMISM/ROCKTIMISM, THE GARAGE, DJ Andy & DJ playing chart anthems, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 soul, 9pm-1am, Free Dec, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP 12am with PIYP STEREODOG, CHINAWHITE, Mr. Livewire & Gary Curley THE BUNKER BAR, CJ plays grunge & new rock, 9pm-3am, play house, 10pm-3am, £8 (£5) Free TFI FRIDAY, SSU, DJ Phil, 4pm-3am, £2 after 5pm, free ALL STAR, BAMBOO, Andy Wilson plays funk with DJ Kash 4 students VANDAL, LIQUID LOUNGE, House sessions with residents on the hip pop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 11pm/ ABC FRIDAYS, ABC1, Genre mash-up from Euan Neilson, 12.30am with matric Mash & Gianni, 10pm-3am, £5 11pm-3am, £6 (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. COLOURS, THE ARCHES, James Lavelle, James Zabiela, VICE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, Indie rock party with Martin BALLBREAKER, THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Billy with rock & Fergie, Roger Sanchez, Martin Solveig, Jon Mancini, Bate (Xfm), 11pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free metal, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free Seb Fontaine & many more, 9pm-4am, £25 b4 11.30pm with PIYP b4 11.30am with PIYP FOLK IT!, THE MIXING ROOMS, Up & coming folk musician THE BUNKER BAR, Tam Coyle plays vintage rock & indie, BOOGIE DOWN, BLUU, The groove-merchant Stewart session, From 8pm, Free 9pm-3am, Free Reid plays a jazz, disco & house sound, 10pm-3am, FUNKY LUV, PLAY, Driving vocal house, 10pm-3am, £5, THE GOAT, Robbie Rolex & The Radio Magnetic £5, free b4 11pm £3 NUS Soundsystem on Weekly Rotation, 8pm-late, Free BROWN BAGGIN’ IT, THE GARAGE, Retro, britpop, alterINFLATABLE FUN, THE GARAGE, Naughty Nicola with inCUBE FRIDAYS, Urban tunes from Clyde 1’a George Bowie, native, chill, RnB & soul, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 flatables & groovy tunes, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) 11.30pm with PIYP 12am with PIYP KALEIDOSCOPE LIVE, ABC2, Old school rock & roll, soul, COMPUTELOVE, THE MIXING ROOMS, Electronic sounds, From 8pm, Free ABC SATURDAYS, ABC1, Gerry Lyons plays soul, punk, funk, from the 1960’s-1980’s , 10pm-3am, £3, free ELECTROBALL, KARBON, 80’s, nu-wave, rock & punk, with matric. After 12am rock & indie dance, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 KILLER KITSCH, THE BUFF CLUB, Electroclash & that, 11pm- 10.30pm-3am, £tbc 11.30pm with matric. FLUID, MAS, Funky house from Lisa Littlewood, 11pm3am, £4 (£3) ABC SATURDAYS, ABC2, David Sinclair (Killer Kitsch) ROCK KARAOKE, THE CATHOUSE, Karaoke to rock, Free 3am, £5 plays electro, house & pop, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free FREAKMENOOVERS, RUST BAR, Early doors serving of b4 12am b4 11.30pm with matric. hip hop, funk, RnB & soul, 9pm-12am, Free T.I.T., KARBON, Lisa Littlewood & Graeme Ferguson, AUDIO, BLOC, House, techno & electro from DJ Aiden , FREAKMENOOVERS, BLANKET, Fresh hip hop & funk 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4) 9pm-3am, Free cuts from the Freakmenoovers DJs, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4) DIRTY RECORDZ, GUU, Paul N’Jie (Beat 106) plays curNOJ, POLAR BAR (ABC), No Music Policy, 11pm-3am, £6 rent tunes, open decks downstairs, 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. DELIVERANCE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Dec with £1), free b4 9pm OLD SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Old school tunes with DIVINE!, THE VIC BAR, Mr. Divine & Hushpuppy bring you alternative music, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12am with PIYP Gordie & Jack, 10.30pm-3am, £6 northern soul, funk, ska & mod tunes, 11pm-3am, £6 ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street PRESSURE, THE ARCHES, Marco Carola, Steve Bug, (£5) Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD Slam, Radioactive Man & Quenum - techno & electro, GROOVEJET, MAS, Weekly house & RnB mix, 11pm10pm-4am, £tbc GOSSIP, SSU, Gay/mixed night with DJ Ricci, 8pm-late, 3am, £7 (£5) Free RED & GOLD ROOM, ARTA, Soul musak, 10pm-3am, HARDCORE TIL I DIE, THE ARCHES, Hixxy, Sharkey, Mad £7, free b4 11pm INSIDE OUT, THE ARCHES, Eddie Halliwell, Judge Jules, Man & more, 10pm-4am, £22 (£17) ROCKET, BAMBOO, House music from Geoff M, hip hop HIP DROP, BREL, Funk, soul, electro & disco from Rob- Marco Bailey etc, 10pm-4am, £20 JOINTS & JAMS, CUBE, The Longest running RnB night in & lounge from Junior Campos & Max, 9pm-3am, £5, bie Rolex & Nel, 9pm-1am, Free free b4 10.30pm/12.30am students HOME COOKIN’, BELO, Urban music showcase, 10pm- Glasgow, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2) SOUND MUSEUM, BREL, DJ Hushpuppy (Art School) MJAM SALSA, LIPTONS, Salsa classes from 8pm with 3am, £7, free b4 11pm & Chris Geddes (Belle & Sebastian) dig out some retro Chris Traynor, free club from 10.15pm, 8pm-12am, Free HOMEGROWN, BAMBOO, Stevie Sole Middleton, Dosoul, 9pm-1am, Free NEW FLESH, FURY MURRY’S, Rock, metal, punk, rap, menic Martin & Scottie B play house and smooth RnB,

FRIDAY 22 DECEMBER

SUNDAY 24 DECEMBER

MONDAY 25 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 26 DECEMBER

FRIDAY 29 DECEMBER

SATURDAY 23 DECEMBER

WEDNESDAY 27 DECEMBER

54 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

STEREODOG, CHINAWHITE, Mr. Livewire & Gary Curley play house, 10pm-3am, £8 (£5) TFI FRIDAY, SSU, DJ Phil, 4pm-3am, £2 after 5pm, free 4 students VANDAL, LIQUID LOUNGE, House sessions with residents Mash & Gianni, 10pm-3am, £5 VEGAS, THE FERRY, Swing & retro tunes with flamboyance, 9.30pm-late, £9, £7 fabulously dressed VICE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, Indie rock party with Martin Bate (Xfm), 11pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free b4 11.30pm with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, Tam Coyle plays vintage rock & indie, 9pm-3am, Free THE GOAT, Robbie Rolex & The Radio Magnetic Soundsystem on Weekly Rotation, 8pm-late, Free CUBE FRIDAYS, Urban tunes from Clyde 1’a George Bowie, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3)

Go Away! TO SOHO, LONDON

GETTING AWAY

Take the train. It’s stylish, takes you neatly into the centre (where Soho is), and doesn’t play hell with the environment. Regular trains run from Glasgow and Edinburgh. Check www.virgintrains.co.uk, and www. gner.co.uk.

STAYING AWAY

To get the full effect without having to get so much as a rickshaw ride home, you can stay at the YHA Oxford Street hostel, or Picadilly Backpackers offers beds for as cheap as £12.

EATING AND DRINKING AWAY

If you want to eat cheap, Greek Street features, unbelievably, three vegetarian, Thai, all-you-can eat buffets - on one block. They will all serve you for a fiver. This is the true magic of a metropolis, where variety is abundant and affordable, and more than you take in one go.

SATURDAY 30 DECEMBER

ABC SATURDAYS, ABC1, Gerry Lyons plays soul, punk, rock & indie dance, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 11.30pm with matric. ABC SATURDAYS, ABC2, David Sinclair (Killer Kitsch) plays electro, house & pop, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 11.30pm with matric. AUDIO, BLOC, House, techno & electro from DJ Aiden , 9pm-3am, Free DIRTY RECORDZ, GUU, Paul N’Jie (Beat 106) plays current tunes, open decks downstairs, 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, £1), free b4 9pm DIVINE!, THE VIC BAR, Mr. Divine & Hushpuppy bring you northern soul, funk, ska & mod tunes, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) GROOVEJET, MAS, Weekly house & RnB mix, 11pm3am, £7 (£5) HIP DROP, BREL, Funk, soul, electro & disco from Robbie Rolex & Nel, 9pm-1am, Free HOME COOKIN’, BELO, Urban music showcase, 10pm3am, £7, free b4 11pm I LOVE THE GARAGE, THE GARAGE, Classics, 10.30pm3am, £7 (£5), £6 (£4) b4 12am KARBON SATURDAYS, KARBON, Kev McFarlane, Stephen Lee, Woody play house & hip hop classics, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc NU-SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Fresh northern soul, jazz & funk featuring live percussion, classics downstairs, 10.30pm-3am, £6 OPEN DEX, DEEP 6 (GUU), Bring your vinyl/CDs if you think you can do better, 9pm-1am, £1, £2 non-members SUBCULTURE, THE SUB CLUB, Weekly snapshot of the everevolving house blueprint, 11pm-3am, £8, £5 b4 12am VOODOO, THE CATHOUSE, Under-18 club with metal, emo & punk, 5pm-9pm, £6 (£3) THE BUNKER BAR, DJ Toast & Mash, 9pm-3am, Free THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Andy with all things rock, 10.30pm-3am, £6 (£5), free b4 12am with PIYP THE GOAT, Paul Needles, 8pm-late, Free MACSORLEYS, Jazz band downstairs, Paul Cawley & Karim The Pro-Vinylist upstairs, 9pm-late, Free REPUBLIC BIER HALLE, Leftfield music & pizzas, 9pm-12am, Free

LIFESTYLE

LISTINGS

text & photo: Marcie Hume

oho’s reputation for f lashy folk and seedy streets is wholly and blissfully true. It whets one’s consumerist whistle reading all the cocktail menus that line the streets, but you could spend a weekend inside the whimsical walls of Soho and, without spending any money, never have cause to doubt whether you lived it up enough. Among all the opportunities to drop some cash on good food at fancy tables, the ancient entertainment of people-watching was never so apropos as it is in Soho. It is a safari park of human behaviour. Teenage hipsters and ageing drag queens mix on the streets. In the afternoon. In winter. Life in a big city is inseparable from non-stop buzzing and boozing activity.

The neighbourhood has four main streets (Frith, Greek, Dean, and Wardour) and many smaller nooks and crannies that you can dive down, always with a glimpse of something curious. The horrifically crowded, commercial and avoidable Oxford Street runs along the top of Soho, while Carnaby Street is a more romantic and pedestrian-friendly option for shopping. At the bottom of Soho is glorious Old Compton Street, where by day you can stuff your cake hole at Patisserie Valerie, sip coffee in continental style at a street-side table while you rank the most weirdly dressed passers-by, or buy some beans from the Algerian Coffee shop, a dwarfish yet shiny Disneyland for coffee lovers.

Excess is in fashion here, and no one’s afraid to show it. If you can handle the nightclub scene, pull those crazy shoes you thought you might never wear out of your closet and bust out the eyeliner. Starting early on Old Compton Street, compact and well-groomed men will hand you flyers for entrance into clubs. G-A-Y club is a favourite, not just because it’s where Big Brother’s Grace got her face bashed (now a national landmark). The whole street is festive and a little surreal every night, and there’s a reasonable chance of walking past George Michael as he is ogled by the multitudes. If this is all a little extrovert-sounding, the Curzon Cinema is an art-house venue with a killer café downstairs and plenty of solo-moviegoers doing their artsy loner thing.

Soho is a neighbourhood of weird juxtapositions. After the humble but veggie-riffic Berwick Street market ends on Saturday, the street turns into a wonderland of cultural anti-norms. You can peek in the windows of the fair trade shop and observe a meditation group, or turn your head the other way to find mannequins dressed in their skivvies, beckoning in the weirdos standing on the corner (careful!). London is said to be composed of many small villages, of which Soho may be either the hippest or the filthiest, depending on your age, budget and ideology. But there’s no better way to pack the entire world into one weekend away.

SUNDAY 31 DECEMBER

BACK TO THE FUTURE, CARLING ACADEMY, Old school dance tunes, 7pm-3am, £tbc CLUB CUBA!, FAVELA, Latin rhythms, 9pm-late, Free CLUB NOIR, CLASSIC GRAND, Burlesque shows and gothic fun, 10pm-4am, £20 CLUB PRIORY: RETOX ROOMS, BLANKET, RnB with DJ Richard Levinson, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) INSIDE OUT, THE ARCHES, Agnelli & Nelson, Matt Hardwick & others, 9pm-4am, £25 JUNK, THE BUFF CLUB, Jazz & funk, with Marky Mark featuring live percussion by Duffy, 11pm-3am, £3, free with matric NUMBERS, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Modeselektor, DJ Orgasmic, Louis Digital, POL Style plus more play grime to electro & everything in between, 10pm-late, £20 SPANK, THE CATHOUSE, Rock, punk & dance, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 1am with PIYP SUBCULTURE, THE SUB CLUB, With Metro Area!, 10pm5am, £22 (£16)

MONDAY 1ST JANUARY

BURN, THE BUFF CLUB, Glasgow institition with Normski & Zeus playing underground classics, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free for pub/club workers ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD FRESH, THE POLO LOUNGE, Popular gay venue with house & indie, 11pm-3am, £5 POPTIMISM/ROCKTIMISM, THE GARAGE, DJ Andy & DJ Dec, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP

TUESDAY 2ND JANUARY

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

4 students

LGBT lthough the general public seems to have learned a bit more about transgenderism in the past few years (I still believe we owe a lot to Coronation Street) , some my t h s endure, and LGB people are just as likely as straights to be clueless – which makes for interesting experiences for trans people within the confines of the queer community. The fact that we all co-exist together under the LGBT umbrella can often lead to confusion: because the former three identities are about who you’re attracted to, being trans often gets filed under ‘sexual orientation’. It’s as if you’re so busy transitioning, you don’t have time to be attracted to anyone. Obviously that’s not the case, but space rarely seems to be devoted to discussing trans issues beyond the standard ‘My Journey to Womanhood’-style confessional. Born out of conversations with Alma Cork and Ioana Poprowka, this issue aims to redress things somewhat. It’s only the beginning, of course, and yes, we’re aware that we need more FTM input (the deadline proved too daunting for some), but we hope that you get something out of it, whether you’re trans or not. /Nine

TOP

EVENTS

SHORTBUS, 1 Dec (release date) See Film section for more details

LOUD AND PROUD CHOIR WINTER CONCERT

Two Words

by: Imogen Park

IMOGEN KICKS OFF OUR TRANSGENDER SEXUALITY SPECIAL WITH A RUNDOWN OF JUST SOME OF THE POSSIBILITIES FOR CREATIVE SELF-EXPRESSION. The idea of trans sexuality, two words, is slippery - the word ‘transsexuality’ has the word ‘sexuality’ in it, which makes it sound like changing your sex is about fucking. It’s not. I mean, it kind of is - it’s hard to have great sex with somebody if they think you’re a gender you don‘t want to be - but transsexuality is not a sexuality like homosexuality or bisexuality is. I know gay, straight, bi and omnisexual transwomen. I know transwomen who are into exhibitionism and S/M. I know transwomen who are furries and ones who are into the goth/vampire/ blood/doin’ it in a graveyard thing; transwomen who top and transwomen who bottom; ones who switch. I know transwomen who get off all the time and transwomen who are so uncomfortable with what’s in their pants that they don’t really get off at all. I know transwomen who want nothing more than a heterosexual marriage with a heterosexual man. It makes me feel kind of boring. I use a lot of identity labels for myself because I feel like they give me permission, rather than restriction. “Femme” means I can wear a prom dress and way too much eye make-up if I feel like it. “Punk” means I can wear ‘em sprawled across the subway platform. “Trans” describes my expe-

rience of being assigned male when I was born, figuring out that I disagreed, and then doing what I could about it. “Dyke” means I consider myself a woman and that I mainly date women; “bisexual” means that I also like boys kind of a lot. “Queer” wraps a warm blanket around all of ‘em.

CRISTY ROAD WWW.CROADCORE.ORG

Essentially I identify as an activist dyke, as a woman who mainly does it with other women. I’ve never gotten any static for being trans in dyke space. Quite the opposite, in fact. Girls who fuck girls who are involved in art or activism tend to be on exactly the same page as me when it comes to most things (“Oh wow, you lost your virginity to the girl who gave you your first Ani DiFranco record, too?”). The thing where lesbians all hate transwomen has not been my experience. That theory came from the same time and place that gave us the ‘heterosexual women can’t be feminists because fucking men supports patriarchy’ theory. And as for the sex that I myself have? I’ll admit that I feel pretty ambivalent about having a cock, and that I think it would be great to, y’know, have a vagina installed. But I’ve been able to work around it. I can totally still get off with it, and get somebody else off, and I like making out and orgasms and fingers along my spine as much as you probably do. Imagine that you were horrendously

embarrassed about your ass, for some reason, and that whenever anybody paid any attention to it during sex, it was a total bonerkill and you had to withdraw for a bit then start over. Um, my having a cock isn’t even that bad. So.

HOMEGROWN, BAMBOO, Stevie Sole Middleton, Do-

menic Martin & Scottie B play house and smooth RnB, TRONIC, THE 13TH NOTE, Jace & Mr. Man (Syntax), The jazz & funk, 9pm-3am, £5, free b4 10.30pm/12.30am Aphrodisiacs & Gfunk303, 8pm-late, £4 students VANDAL, LIQUID LOUNGE, House sessions with residents I LOVE THE GARAGE, THE GARAGE, Classics, 10.30pm3am, £7 (£5), £6 (£4) b4 12am Mash & Gianni, 10pm-3am, £5 VICE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, Indie rock party with Martin KARBON SATURDAYS, KARBON, Kev McFarlane, Stephen Lee, Woody play house & hip hop classics, Bate (Xfm), 11pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free 10.30pm-3am, £tbc b4 11.30pm with PIYP NU-SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Fresh northern soul, jazz THE BUNKER BAR, Tam Coyle plays vintage rock & indie, 9pm-3am, Free & funk featuring live percussion, classics downstairs, THE GOAT, Robbie Rolex & The Radio Magnetic Soundsys- 10.30pm-3am, £6 OPEN DEX, DEEP 6 (GUU), Bring your vinyl/CDs if you tem on Weekly Rotation, 8pm-late, Free CUBE FRIDAYS, Urban tunes from Clyde 1’a George Bowie, think you can do better, 9pm-1am, £1, £2 non-members 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) SUBCULTURE, THE SUB CLUB, Weekly snapshot of the everevolving house blueprint, 11pm-3am, £8, £5 b4 12am ABC SATURDAYS, ABC1, Gerry Lyons plays soul, punk, VOODOO, THE CATHOUSE, Under-18 club with metal, rock & indie dance, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 emo & punk, 5pm-9pm, £6 (£3) 11.30pm with matric. THE BUNKER BAR, DJ Toast & Mash, 9pm-3am, Free ABC SATURDAYS, ABC2, David Sinclair (Killer Kitsch) THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Andy with all things rock, plays electro, house & pop, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free 10.30pm-3am, £6 (£5), free b4 12am with PIYP b4 11.30pm with matric. CHINAWHITE, DJ Naeem playing main room RnB & clasAUDIO, BLOC, House, techno & electro from DJ Aiden , sics, Mirrirbaw playing dunky house in the Mao room, 9pm-3am, Free 10pm-3am, £10 BAD ROBOT, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Loose Joints & THE GOAT, Paul Needles, 8pm-late, Free Stevie Elements play from rock to techno & breakbeats, MACSORLEYS, Jazz band downstairs, Paul Cawley & 11pm-3am, £6 (£5), £2 GSA, free after 12am Karim The Pro-Vinylist upstairs, 9pm-late, Free BEDLAM, QMU, Goth night, 10pm-late, £tbc REPUBLIC BIER HALLE, Leftﬁeld music & pizzas, 9pm-12am, DEATH DISCO, THE ARCHES, The XXXmas party with Erol Free Alkan, Cajuan, DJ Mingo & djOD & noDJ, 10.30pm4am, £12 DIRTY RECORDZ, GUU, Paul N’Jie (Beat 106) plays curCLUB CUBA!, FAVELA, Latin rhythms, 9pm-late, Free rent tunes, open decks downstairs, 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, CLUB PRIORY: RETOX ROOMS, BLANKET, RnB with DJ £1), free b4 9pm Richard Levinson, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) DIVINE!, THE VIC BAR, Mr. Divine & Hushpuppy bring you COLD NIGHT SONG, THE GOAT, Guests & DJs play northern soul, funk, ska & mod tunes, 11pm-3am, £6 acoustic gems, 8pm-late, Free (£5) DISCO BADGER, BAMBOO, Classic house music all night DIY DISCO XMAS PARTY, BASURA BLANCA, DIY Disco & long from Dominic Martin, other boogie from Kash & dinosaurDeathpenguin DJs - mish mash, 10.30pm-2am, Max, 10pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 10.30pm/12.30pm £tbc with matric GOODFOOT, THE RIVERSIDE CLUB, Northern Soul, MoJUNK, THE BUFF CLUB, Jazz & funk, with Marky Mark town & funk, 10.30pm-3am, £7 featuring live percussion by Duffy, 11pm-3am, £3, free GROOVEJET, MAS, Weekly house & RnB mix, 11pmwith matric 3am, £7 (£5) OPTIMO, THE SUB CLUB, JD Twitch & Wilkes will play pretty HIP DROP, BREL, Funk, soul, electro & disco from Robbie much anything and mix it well, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) Rolex & Nel, 9pm-1am, Free SPANK, THE CATHOUSE, Rock, punk & dance, 11pmHOME COOKIN’, BELO, Urban music showcase, 10pm- 3am, £4 (£2), free b4 1am with PIYP 3am, £7, free b4 11pm THE BUNKER BAR, Neil Wyper playing new & old rock &

SATURDAY 16 DECEMBER

SUNDAY 17 DECEMBER

Glasgow, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2) MJAM SALSA, LIPTONS, Salsa classes from 8pm with Chris Traynor, free club from 10.15pm, 8pm-12am, Free BURN, THE BUFF CLUB, Glasgow institition with Normski & Zeus playing underground classics, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), NEW FLESH, FURY MURRY’S, Rock, metal, punk, rap, industrial & alternative music, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 from free for pub/club workers 10pm-11pm, £1 with flyer/after 11pm ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street OCTOPUSSY, THE ARCHES, Student night with a bouncy Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD FRESH, THE POLO LOUNGE, Popular gay venue with house & castle, swimming pool?, jacuzzi?? & wedding chapel???, 10pm-3am, £4 indie, 11pm-3am, £5 POPTIMISM/ROCKTIMISM, THE GARAGE, DJ Andy & DJ TONGUE IN CHEEK, BAMBOO, Lounge, RnB & indie, Dec, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with matric WHATEVER, THE GARAGE, Andy & Brian, chart music, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, Martin Bate (Beat 106) plays vintage 12 HOUR TUESDAYS, SSU, Chart music & live comedy, rock & indie, 9pm-late, Free 3pm-3am, £2, free b4 3pm ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc ALL STAR, BAMBOO, Andy Wilson plays funk with DJ Kash *.*, THE BUFF CLUB, Rock’n’roll & northern soul, 11pm3am, £3 on the hip pop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 11pm/ ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazil12.30am with matric ian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc FOLK IT!, THE MIXING ROOMS, Up & coming folk musician BABAZA, BELO, Hip hop with the funk, 10pm-3am, £6, session, From 8pm, Free free b4 11pm FUNKY LUV, PLAY, Driving vocal house, 10pm-3am, £5, CHIX ON DEX, CHINAWHITE, Rock, funkpunk & house £3 NUS all mixed by lovely ladies, 10pm-3am, £4, free b4 INFLATABLE FUN, THE GARAGE, Naughty Nicola with in11pm flatables & groovy tunes, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 CIGARETTES & F**K ALL, THE BUTTERFLY & THE PIG, Craig 12am with PIYP KALEIDOSCOPE LIVE, ABC2, Old school rock & roll, soul, McGee plays indie & rock ‘n’ roll, 9pm-late, Free CLUB OLUM, CLASSIC GRAND, DJ Dirty Marc, 10.30pmfunk, from the 1960’s-1980’s , 10pm-3am, £3, free 3am, £4, £2 b4 12am with matric. After 12am KILLER KITSCH, THE BUFF CLUB, Electroclash & that, 11pm- CRUSH, QMU, With McSleazy (XFM) & his bootlegs, 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members 3am, £4 (£3) REVOLUTION, QMU, Rock & punk with Martin Bate (XFM), FREAKSCENE, POLAR BAR (ABC), Indie classics with John, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members ROCK KARAOKE, THE CATHOUSE, Karaoke to rock, Free matric. THE FUNKY PRECEDENT, SAINT JUDE’S, Hip hop, funk, b4 12am soul & motown with D_Fade, Duncan Harvey & Boom T.I.T., KARBON, Lisa Littlewood & Graeme Ferguson, Monk Ben, 8pm-late, Free 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4) HOMEBREW, THE SUB CLUB, Hip hop to nasty electro via the rest with Tiff Peaches, Provinylist Karim Ill DELIVERANCE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Dec with alter- Technique & Groundskeeper GC, 11pm-3am, £3, £2 native music, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12am with matric. card PIYP LOLLIPOP, GUU, Pop, RnB & Indie , 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street £1), free b4 9pm Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD ON DEMAND, THE SHED, DJ Euan takes requests by text GOSSIP, SSU, Gay/mixed night with DJ Ricci, 8pm-late, message at this interactive club night, 10.30pm-3am, Free £3 JOINTS & JAMS, CUBE, The Longest running RnB night in PLASTIC FUNK, BAMBOO, Mark Robb, Tania & friends electronica, 9pm-late, Free

MONDAY 18 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 19 DECEMBER

THURSDAY 21 DECEMBER

CLUB LISTINGS

TFI FRIDAY, SSU, DJ Phil, 4pm-3am, £2 after 5pm, free

WEDNESDAY 20 DECEMBER

WWW.TSPREX.COM

16 Dec, 8pm, entry by donation St Augustine’s Church, George IV Bridge, Edinburgh

FUR-BURGER XMAS PARTY - FOR GIRLS WHO LIKE GIRLS , 22 Dec, 10pm - 2am, £4 Twist, Basement Club, 26b Dublin Street, Edinburgh

UTTER GUTTER ANTI-CHRIST-MAS PANTO PARTY 26 Dec, 10:30pm - 3am, £15 Riverside Club, Fox Street, Glasgow

Straight as Folk

by: Alma Cork

IF YOU’RE TRANS AND STRAIGHT, HOW DO YOU FIT IN TO THE LGBT SCENE?

GUYS DO COFFEE, 27 Dec, 11am Trans Men Scotland ‘coffee morning’, central Edinburgh admin@transmenscotland.org.ukRiverside Club, Fox Street, Glasgow WWW.UTTERGUTTER.COM

FILM REVIEW ENOUGH MAN DIRECTED BY LUKE WOODWARD The subject of sex is rarely if ever addressed in transgender/transsexual documentaries. It is the question politeness/’decency’ deems you never ask someone: “What do you do in bed?” This is reminiscent of the era when films were just starting to be made about homosexuality - they focused on what was usually a tormented coming-out and an unrequited love; nothing more, nothing of real substance and emotional depth. This documentary-porn crossover is what every tranny has been waiting to see. Talking heads are interspersed with scenes of the couples having sex, ranging from vanilla blowjobs to BDSM. The discussions explore body image, sexuality, surgery, hormones, community and more. Enough Man fleshes out, so to speak, the onscreen portrayal of trans men. To some it will feel like watching a ‘family movie’. It covers all types of lifestyle, from the monogamous couple to the pagan trans man living out in the woods with his MTF partner and FTM lover, to the self-confessed ‘polyamorous slut’ who makes porn with his dominatrix girlfriend. Have your assumptions challenged and be turned on! (Nosh) WWW.LUKEWOODWARD.COM VISIT OUR LGBT SECTION ON-LINE FOR REVIEWS OF TRANS

Up until the point when I threw myself, vodkasodden and horny as hell, at a guy who gave me just the right type of ‘fancy a fuck?’ eyes, I’d tentatively identified as bisexual.

To be honest, even realising that I have a sexuality is a new thing for me. Sure, I can talk about sex and relationships. I’ve realised that just because I’m trans and I like orgasms and I want to get laid doesn’t mean I’m a pervert. And then I read Patrick Califia and discovered that being a pervert is actually okay too. But I don’t have a lot of hands-on experience of actually, well, being sexual. I’m twenty-nine years old and I’ve had about two or three short relationships that all happened in my late teens. In the past, my sexuality didn’t quite fit the way I felt it should, and disinterest seemed to work better. Now, though, I’ve found it and it fits and, even though it can be difficult, I feel determined to embrace it and be open about it.

Prior to that event, I’d been starting to become more actively engaged in the queer community and this had been helping me develop my sexual and trans identity. The LGBT community had given me somewhere safe to figure myself out and a label to cling to. I was queer, and that was pretty goddamn special. However, as I stripped off and rolled about with that man, I was discovering how heterosexual I was. I was not only discovering it, but it was picking me up and defining itself all over my body in wonderfully pleasing ways. I had to try to assimilate that important realisation with my queer identity, because I suddenly found myself hungry for both. I found myself craving the straight scene because of the allure of getting some action. I craved the queer scene because I could be open about my transsexuality and talk freely about issues important to me. Plus, I figured, I might also meet a nice bisexual boy to get off with and thus score on all fronts. Besides, no matter how much I crave boys my sexual identity, through simply being trans, often winds up being unique in straight environments. Let’s face it, most heterosexual people don’t worry about disclosing details surrounding their

CRISTY ROAD WWW.CROADCORE.ORG

ongoing gender reassignment before they hook up for some action. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible to interact in the straight world, but it can still be very difficult to navigate. Still, I felt a little uneasy and out of place in queer spaces all of a sudden with this realisation that I’m a screaming heterosexual.

Here is the main problem: I want to feel proud of my straightness. Being open about being sexually active as a trans woman, even though I might not be as active as I like, is a personal breakthrough. It’s exciting and I want to explore it, but it doesn’t always mesh well with queer spaces. I end up feeling oddly on the fringe when I do, yet I still feel connected to queer people and, more importantly, I still feel I need the safety, understanding and friendship of being among them. Being straight makes me feel awkward in queer bars, just as being transsexual makes me feel awkward in straight spaces, but I still need to take part in and gain recognition from both. Is that greedy?

CHARACTERS IN FILM.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

ART OF PARTIES, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Featuring Cowtown, 10.30pm-3am, £4 - £0

DELIVERANCE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Dec with alternative music, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12am with PIYP ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD GOSSIP, SSU, Gay/mixed night with DJ Ricci, 8pm-late, Free JOINTS & JAMS, CUBE, The Longest running RnB night in Glasgow, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2) MJAM SALSA, LIPTONS, Salsa classes from 8pm with Chris Traynor, free club from 10.15pm, 8pm-12am, Free NEW FLESH, FURY MURRY’S, Rock, metal, punk, rap, industrial & alternative music, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 from 10pm-11pm, £1 with flyer/after 11pm OCTOPUSSY, THE ARCHES, Student night with a bouncy castle, swimming pool?, jacuzzi?? & wedding chapel???, 10pm-3am, £4 TONGUE IN CHEEK, BAMBOO, Lounge, RnB & indie, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with matric WHATEVER, THE GARAGE, Andy & Brian, chart music, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, Martin Bate (Beat 106) plays vintage rock & indie, 9pm-late, Free

THURSDAY 7 DECEMBER

*.*, THE BUFF CLUB, Rock’n’roll & northern soul, 11pm3am, £3

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc BABAZA, BELO, Hip hop with the funk, 10pm-3am, £6, free b4 11pm CHIX ON DEX, CHINAWHITE, Rock, funkpunk & house all mixed by lovely ladies, 10pm-3am, £4, free b4 11pm CIGARETTES & F**K ALL, THE BUTTERFLY & THE PIG, Craig McGee plays indie & rock ‘n’ roll, 9pm-late, Free CLUB NME, THE ARCHES, Weekly indie night, 10pm-3am, £5 CLUB OLUM, CLASSIC GRAND, DJ Dirty Marc, 10.30pm3am, £4, £2 b4 12am CRUSH, QMU, With McSleazy (XFM) & his bootlegs, 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members FREAKMOVES, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Fresh hip hop & funk cuts from the Freakmenoovers DJs, Record Playerz in the bar, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) FREAKSCENE, POLAR BAR (ABC), Indie classics with John, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with matric. THE FUNKY PRECEDENT, SAINT JUDE’S, Hip hop, funk, soul & motown with D_Fade, Duncan Harvey & Boom Monk Ben, 8pm-late, Free HOMEBREW, THE SUB CLUB, Hip hop to nasty electro via the rest with Tiff Peaches, Provinylist Karim Ill Technique & Groundskeeper GC, 11pm-3am, £3, £2 matric. card LOLLIPOP, GUU, Pop, RnB & Indie , 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, £1), free b4 9pm ON DEMAND, THE SHED, DJ Euan takes requests by text message at this interactive club night, 10.30pm-3am, £3 PLASTIC FUNK, BAMBOO, Mark Robb, Tania & friends play funk, soul & rock n roll, 10.30pm-5am, £4 (£3), free b4 11pm/12.30am with matric PUMP UP THE JAM, SSU, Old school cheese, live bands & funky house, £2 RADIOMAGNETIC, GAZELLE, Funk, soul & latin grooves with Radiomagnetic DJs, From 8pm, Free RECORD PLAYERZ, THE VIC BAR, Hi-Fi Sean & Hushpuppy play disco electro, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) RUBBERMENSCH, ABC2, A night for indie lovers, 11pm3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with matric. SKINT, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Billy with metal hip hop & rock, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with PIYP THE THURSDAY CLUB, THE GARAGE, Gerry Lyons & Brian playing chart anthems, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 12am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, CJ plays grunge & new rock, 9pm-3am, Free

FRIDAY 8 DECEMBER

ABC FRIDAYS, ABC1, Genre mash-up from Euan Neilson, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. AUDIOBOT, BLACKFRIARS BASEMENT, With Dirty Hospital live, 10pm-3am, £6 (£5) BALLBREAKER, THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Billy with rock & metal, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free b4 11.30am with PIYP BLITZRIEG BOP, THE ARCHES, Shit Robot (DFA), Errors, The Matchsticks & Art of Parties, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4) BOOGIE DOWN, BLUU, The groove-merchant Stewart Reid plays a jazz, disco & house sound, 10pm-3am, £5, free b4 11pm BROWN BAGGIN’ IT, THE GARAGE, Retro, britpop, alter-

52 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

native, chill, RnB & soul, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with PIYP COMPUTELOVE, THE MIXING ROOMS, Electronic sounds, From 8pm, Free ELECTROBALL, KARBON, 80’s, nu-wave, rock & punk, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc FLUID, MAS, Funky house from Lisa Littlewood, 11pm3am, £5 FREAKMENOOVERS, RUST BAR, Early doors serving of hip hop, funk, RnB & soul, 9pm-12am, Free FREAKMENOOVERS, BLANKET, Fresh hip hop & funk cuts from the Freakmenoovers DJs, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4) JIVE AID, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Boom Monk Ben & friends raise money for Leukaemia Research, tbc, £tbc JUNKIE, BASURA BLANCA, Mannan, Hektor Ruiez, Cosanostra & Tom Subscience - ?, 9pm-2am, £3 NOJ, POLAR BAR (ABC), No Music Policy, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. OLD SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Old school tunes with Gordie & Jack, 10.30pm-3am, £6 RED & GOLD ROOM, ARTA, Soul musak, 10pm-3am, £7, free b4 11pm ROCKET, BAMBOO, House music from Geoff M, hip hop & lounge from Junior Campos & Max, 9pm-3am, £5, free b4 10.30pm/12.30am students SOUND MUSEUM, BREL, DJ Hushpuppy (Art School) & Chris Geddes (Belle & Sebastian) dig out some retro soul, 9pm-1am, Free STEREODOG, CHINAWHITE, Mr. Livewire & Gary Curley play house, 10pm-3am, £8 (£5) TFI FRIDAY, SSU, DJ Phil, 4pm-3am, £2 after 5pm, free 4 students THE BEGINNING, THE Q CLUB, House, hard dance 7 techno, 10pm-3am, £3 VANDAL, LIQUID LOUNGE, House sessions with residents Mash & Gianni, 10pm-3am, £5 VICE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, Indie rock party with Martin Bate (Xfm), 11pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free b4 11.30pm with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, Tam Coyle plays vintage rock & indie, 9pm-3am, Free CCA, Jah Hectorrr - roots reggae champion, 8pm-late, Free THE GOAT, Robbie Rolex & The Radio Magnetic Soundsystem on Weekly Rotation, 8pm-late, Free CUBE FRIDAYS, Urban tunes from Clyde 1’a George Bowie, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3)

SATURDAY 9 DECEMBER

ABC SATURDAYS, ABC1, Gerry Lyons plays soul, punk, rock & indie dance, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 11.30pm with matric. ABC SATURDAYS, ABC2, David Sinclair (Killer Kitsch) plays electro, house & pop, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 11.30pm with matric. AUDIO, BLOC, House, techno & electro from DJ Aiden , 9pm-3am, Free BAD ROBOT, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Loose Joints & Stevie Elements play from rock to techno & breakbeats, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5), £2 GSA, free after 12am DIRTY RECORDZ, GUU, Paul N’Jie (Beat 106) plays current tunes, open decks downstairs, 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, £1), free b4 9pm DISCO ACTION!, THE BRICK, Andy Piacentini & Simon Cordiner with leftfield disco & underground high jinx, 9.30pm-2am, £3 DIVINE!, THE VIC BAR, Sets from Mr. Divine & Belle & Sebastian, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) FREEFALL, THE ARCHES, Simon Foy, Alan Belshaw & Fraser Latta, 10pm-3am, £10 GET IDIOT, BARFLY, IDIOteque DJs, 10.30pm-3am, £4 GROOVEJET, MAS, Weekly house & RnB mix, 11pm3am, £7 (£5) HIP DROP, BREL, Funk, soul, electro & disco from Robbie Rolex & Nel, 9pm-1am, Free HOME COOKIN’, BELO, Urban music showcase, 10pm3am, £7, free b4 11pm HOMEGROWN, BAMBOO, Stevie Sole Middleton, Domenic Martin & Scottie B play house and smooth RnB, jazz & funk, 9pm-3am, £5, free b4 10.30pm/12.30am students INNER CITY ACID, SOUNDHAUS, The Wasp (Monox), Phat Kay, Graeme Dunn, Ronin, Richie Mobbs - house, techno & breaks, 11pm-late, £6 (£5) I LOVE THE GARAGE, THE GARAGE, Classics, 10.30pm3am, £7 (£5), £6 (£4) b4 12am KARBON SATURDAYS, KARBON, Kev McFarlane, Stephen Lee, Woody play house & hip hop classics, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc MR. SCRUFF & FRIENDS, THE ARCHES, 6 hour set from Scruff, 9pm-3am, £11 NU-SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Fresh northern soul, jazz & funk featuring live percussion, classics downstairs, 10.30pm-3am, £6 OPEN DEX, DEEP 6 (GUU), Bring your vinyl/CDs if you think you can do better, 9pm-1am, £1, £2 non-members

SELECTIVE MEMORY, CARNIVAL ARTS CENTRE, Electronica, Chris Traynor, free club from 10.15pm, 8pm-12am, Free drum & bass, experimental stuff, house, deep techno & NEW FLESH, FURY MURRY’S, Rock, metal, punk, rap, industrial & alternative music, 10pm-3am, £4, £2 from 10pm-11pm, £1 with flyer/after 11pm OCTOPUSSY, THE ARCHES, Student night with a bouncy castle, swimming pool?, jacuzzi?? & wedding chapel???, 10pm-3am, £4 TONGUE IN CHEEK, BAMBOO, Lounge, RnB & indie, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with matric WHATEVER, THE GARAGE, Andy & Brian, chart music, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, Martin Bate (Beat 106) plays vintage rock & indie, 9pm-late, Free

boxwars, 10pm-3am, £7, £5 b4 11pm SLEAZE, CLUB 69, Radioslave play house & electro, 11pm3am, £8 SUBCULTURE, THE SUB CLUB, Weekly snapshot of the everevolving house blueprint, 11pm-3am, £8, £5 b4 12am VOODOO, THE CATHOUSE, Under-18 club with metal, emo & punk, 5pm-9pm, £6 (£3) THE BUNKER BAR, DJ Toast & Mash, 9pm-3am, Free THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Andy with all things rock, 10.30pm-3am, £6 (£5), free b4 12am with PIYP CCA, Mystery Night, 8pm-late, Free CHINAWHITE, DJ Naeem playing main room RnB & classics, Mirrirbaw playing dunky house in the Mao room, 10pm-3am, £10 THE GOAT, Paul Needles, 8pm-late, Free MACSORLEYS, Jazz band downstairs, Paul Cawley & Karim The Pro-Vinylist upstairs, 9pm-late, Free REPUBLIC BIER HALLE, Leftfield music & pizzas, 9pm-12am, Free

THURSDAY 14 DECEMBER

*.*, THE BUFF CLUB, Rock’n’roll & northern soul, 11pm-3am, £3

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian

martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc BABAZA, BELO, Hip hop with the funk, 10pm-3am, £6, free b4 11pm CHIX ON DEX, CHINAWHITE, Rock, funkpunk & house all mixed by lovely ladies, 10pm-3am, £4, free b4 11pm 80S MADNESS, THE ARCHES, 80s tunes, 11pm-3am, £5 CIGARETTES & F**K ALL, THE BUTTERFLY & THE PIG, Craig McGee plays indie & rock ‘n’ roll, 9pm-late, Free CLUB CUBA!, FAVELA, Latin rhythms, 9pm-late, Free CLUB NME, THE ARCHES, Weekly indie night, 10pm-3am, CLUB PRIORY: RETOX ROOMS, BLANKET, RnB with DJ £5 Richard Levinson, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) CRUSH, QMU, With McSleazy (XFM) & his bootlegs, COLD NIGHT SONG, THE GOAT, Guests & DJs play 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members acoustic gems, 8pm-late, Free THE FUNKY PRECEDENT, SAINT JUDE’S, Hip hop, funk, soul DISCO BADGER, BAMBOO, Classic house music all night & motown with D_Fade, Duncan Harvey & Boom Monk long from Dominic Martin, other boogie from Kash & Ben, 8pm-late, Free Max, 10pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 10.30pm/12.30pm HOMEBREW, THE SUB CLUB, Hip hop to nasty electro via the with matric rest with Tiff Peaches, Provinylist Karim Ill Technique & DOLLY MIXTURE, MONO, Market & party, 1.30pm-close, Groundskeeper GC, 11pm-3am, £3, £2 matric. card Free LOLLIPOP, GUU, Pop, RnB & Indie , 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, JUNK, THE BUFF CLUB, Jazz & funk, with Marky Mark £1), free b4 9pm featuring live percussion by Duffy, 11pm-3am, £3, free ON DEMAND, THE SHED, DJ Euan takes requests by text with matric OPTIMO, THE SUB CLUB, JD Twitch & Wilkes will play pretty message at this interactive club night, 10.30pm-3am, £3 PLASTIC FUNK, BAMBOO, Mark Robb, Tania & friends play much anything and mix it well, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) SPANK, THE CATHOUSE, Rock, punk & dance, 11pm-3am, funk, soul & rock n roll, 10.30pm-5am, £4 (£3), free b4 11pm/12.30am with matric £4 (£2), free b4 1am with PIYP PUMP UP THE JAM, SSU, Old school cheese, live bands & THE BUNKER BAR, Neil Wyper playing new & old rock & funky house, £2 electronica, 9pm-late, Free RADIOMAGNETIC, GAZELLE, Funk, soul & latin grooves with Radiomagnetic DJs, From 8pm, Free BURN, THE BUFF CLUB, Glasgow institition with Normski & RECORD PLAYERZ, THE VIC BAR, Hi-Fi Sean & Hushpuppy Zeus playing underground classics, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), play disco electro, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3) RUBBERMENSCH, ABC2, A night for indie lovers, 11pmfree for pub/club workers 3am, £4 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with matric. ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street SKINT, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Billy with metal hip hop & Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD FRESH, THE POLO LOUNGE, Popular gay venue with house & rock, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12.30am with PIYP THE THURSDAY CLUB, THE GARAGE, Gerry Lyons & Brian indie, 11pm-3am, £5 POPTIMISM/ROCKTIMISM, THE GARAGE, DJ Andy & DJ playing chart anthems, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 Dec, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free +1 b4 12am with PIYP 12am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, CJ plays grunge & new rock, 9pm-3am, Free

SUNDAY 10 DECEMBER

MONDAY 11 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 12 DECEMBER

12 HOUR TUESDAYS, SSU, Chart music & live comedy, 3pm-3am, £2, free b4 3pm

FRIDAY 15 DECEMBER

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc ALL STAR, BAMBOO, Andy Wilson plays funk with DJ Kash on the hip pop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 11pm/ 12.30am with matric DUB & GRUB, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Snacks, meals & Mungo’s HiFi, 5pm-late, Free FOLK IT!, THE MIXING ROOMS, Up & coming folk musician session, From 8pm, Free FUNKY LUV, PLAY, Driving vocal house, 10pm-3am, £5, £3 NUS INFLATABLE FUN, THE GARAGE, Naughty Nicola with inflatables & groovy tunes, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 12am with PIYP KALEIDOSCOPE LIVE, ABC2, Old school rock & roll, soul, funk, from the 1960’s-1980’s , 10pm-3am, £3, free with matric. After 12am KILLER KITSCH, THE BUFF CLUB, Electroclash & that, 11pm3am, £4 (£3) REVOLUTION, QMU, Rock & punk with Martin Bate (XFM), 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members ROCK KARAOKE, THE CATHOUSE, Karaoke to rock, Free b4 12am T.I.T., KARBON, Lisa Littlewood & Graeme Ferguson, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4)

ABC FRIDAYS, ABC1, Genre mash-up from Euan Neilson,

11pm-3am, £6 (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. BALLBREAKER, THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Billy with rock & metal, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free b4 11.30am with PIYP BOOGIE DOWN, BLUU, The groove-merchant Stewart Reid plays a jazz, disco & house sound, 10pm-3am, £5, free b4 11pm BROWN BAGGIN’ IT, THE GARAGE, Retro, britpop, alternative, chill, RnB & soul, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with PIYP COMPUTELOVE, THE MIXING ROOMS, Electronic sounds, From 8pm, Free DOLLY MIXTURE, POLAR BAR (ABC), No Music Policy, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. ELECTROBALL, KARBON, 80’s, nu-wave, rock & punk, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc FLUID, MAS, Funky house from Lisa Littlewood, 11pm3am, £5 FREAKMENOOVERS, BLANKET, Fresh hip hop & funk cuts from the Freakmenoovers DJs, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4) FREQ, THE SUB CLUB, Alex Under (Trapez) - deep house & techno, 11pm-3am, £10 LOOSE CHANGE, THE ARCHES, Boom Monk Ben, Jack (Herbaliser), First Rate (Scratch Perverts), plus rappers galore in the Playroom, 10pm-3am, £8 (£6) ART OF PARTIES, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Live acts & OLD SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Old school tunes with Gordie & Jack, 10.30pm-3am, £6 DJs from across the genres, 10.30pm-3am, £4 - £0 DELIVERANCE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, DJ Dec with alter- RECTIFY, SOUNDHAUS, Banging tech-house with guests native music, 11pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 12am with The Organ Donors, 10pm-4am, £tbc ROCKET, BAMBOO, House music from Geoff M, hip hop & PIYP lounge from Junior Campos & Max, 9pm-3am, £5, free ELETRICAT DANCE GROUP, RSAMD, Brazilian Street b4 10.30pm/12.30am students Dance classes, 6pm-7pm, £4 (£3.50), £3 RSAMD GOSSIP, SSU, Gay/mixed night with DJ Ricci, 8pm-late, SOUND MUSEUM, BREL, DJ Hushpuppy (Art School) & Chris Geddes (Belle & Sebastian) dig out some retro soul, Free JOINTS & JAMS, CUBE, The Longest running RnB night in 9pm-1am, Free STEREODOG, CHINAWHITE, Mr. Livewire & Gary Curley play Glasgow, 11pm-3am, £3 (£2) house, 10pm-3am, £8 (£5) MJAM SALSA, LIPTONS, Salsa classes from 8pm with

WEDNESDAY 13 DECEMBER

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Chicks With Dykes

THE WIDE ANGLE: GIMME SOME TRANS FATS

by: Ioana Poprowka

MOVING FROM DEFAULT HETEROSEXUALITY TO EMBRACING A LESBIAN IDENTITY CAME AS A SURPRISE FOR IOANA POST-TRANSITION.

Stories about sexuality usually start at puberty, because in the rule book that’s where it all begins. This is when you realise how hot girls are, or that you’re not like other boys; this is when you discover breasts, feel awkward, different. Perhaps the story started even earlier: you knew as a child that you were growing up in the wrong body, you knew you didn’t belong with the other girls in the playground, that you wanted to rough and tumble with the boys and the onset of puberty merely confirmed your suspicions. But there are hundreds of these stories, and they don’t reflect mine. Puberty hit; I felt different to other boys; I looked around for answers. I identified as trans, transitioned at eighteen and had surgery at twenty. My struggle, abridged. But my life as a trans woman didn’t end there. Although trans issues become ever more visible, the one thing that still remains shadowy and indistinct is the notion that trans people can have any form of fulfilling sex life, and, even more disturbing, that non-trans people might want to involve themselves in this rather unnatural activity. The thing about changing your sexual identity is that you go through a sort of puberty at a point in life when your peers are already mature and mov-

ing ahead in life. At twenty-one I was wearing the kind of make-up that most girls leave behind when they turn fourteen. As a transexual I always knew that I was female, but knowing what it means to be a woman is something you can only learn from living it. So after surgery came a sort of sexual awakening, as I grew into my body, and developed relationships with those around me without the albatross of gender dysphoria hanging round my neck. One discovery that came as something of a surprise was that, after nearly a decade of picturing myself happily married to the man of my dreams, I suddenly discovered that men really weren’t what I was after. Coming to terms with being trans had taken a long time. I had buried and suppressed my queer identity to such an extent that I didn’t feel that I belonged in queer spaces because I identified as straight, and had no wish to out myself any time soon. Realising I was a lesbian forced me to face up to these issues. At first I was uncomfortable going into gay bars, and I was troubled by the feeling that I didn’t belong there, that I couldn’t really belong anywhere as long as I was masquerading as a gay woman. This internalised transphobia mirrors exactly the reasons why transgendered sexuality remains hidden.

The fact is that being transgendered has no bearing on sexual desire. Trans people deserve a fulfilling sex life as much as everyone else, and this was something which took a while to dawn on me. As a straight woman, on some level I bought into the notion that I had undergone a long and difficult journey to become a woman and had somehow finally earned the right to sleep with men. But in doing so, I thought, I had forfeited my right to sleep with women. In some way the only sexual role I could now perform was strictly missionary, and as a trans person I was in no position to question this. Fortunately experience has given me a better sense of self, and I now know that I, and indeed all people, trans or not, can choose how best to express ourselves sexually. As a gay trans woman it seems to me that sexuality and gender roles are at best only vague, fluid guidelines. As someone who spent a long time chasing after boys and then switched to girls almost overnight in her mid-twenties, I can appreciate that nothing is ever set in stone. That said, my life as a gay woman and my life as a trans woman are irrevocably linked, and I am a stronger person for it.

Eye of the Beholder

by: Jack O’Sullivan

A few weeks ago I went to one of my favourite gay bars with my girlfriend. We were chatting normally and just enjoying a few social pints when I noticed two women in the corner staring at me intently. Looking pretty androgynous, I’ve gotten used to people staring at me trying to work out my gender or sexuality - or sometimes just gawking at me. At first I ignored them, but it wasn’t long before I realised they were staring not at me, but at ‘us’. The two women laughed loudly, glanced at us some more and then out of nowhere were all over each other, kissing and grabbing each other with an over-the-top vigour. I realised at this point that they were trying to let me and my girlfriend know

that this was a gay bar. The idea hit me that my that I’m actually bi in the gay bars. So maybe my mere presence was seen to be corrupting this ‘safe sexuality isn’t really changing - but how it’s perspace’. It had been assumed that I was a hetero- ceived certainly is. sexual male who had stumbled unwittingly into a gay bar. It was one of the first times this had ever happened to me in a gay bar and I couldn’t help but feel angry. In the past, my sexuality was hyper-visible because of how I looked: a feminine man or a masculine woman. People instantly equate that with gay or lesbian, from the person shouting ‘dyke’ at me when I’m just walking down the street, to people in college asking me about the LGBT society. It seems that as I look more masculine I will appear somehow less queer. Nowadays when I see two women holding hands in the street and smile at them, will they think my smile is out of support or sexually suggestive? My sexuality will be less ‘overt’ and in a sense will change. I will still have to explain it to people who don’t understand, but I’ve gone from arguing that I’m not a lesbian in the straight bars to arguing

LGBT VENUE GUIDE

EDINBURGH

BLUE MOON CAFÉ, 1 Barony Street – Gourmet-standard food served in hearty portions for reasonable prices, attracting an eclectic clientele of all ages, gender identities and orientations. CC BLOOMS, 23 Greenside Place – Admission to this infernal netherworld is admittedly free, and it’s open till 3am, but prepare for overpriced drinks and existentialist levels of depression. CLAREMONT BAR, 133/135 East Claremont Street Featuring an in-house restaurant, this pub merges a local feel with speciality nights catering to the fringes of queer society. DEEP BLUE, 1 Barony Street – Sophisticated and fashionable basement bar with an atmosphere of peace and calm.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Fans of celebrated queer film-maker John Waters are all a-twitter because of the forthcoming remake of his classic 1988 film Hairspray. The original flick has already been turned into a family-friendly Broadway musical and it’s this production that’s getting the f ilmic treatment. Whilst Waters rakes in the royalties, there’s one question on everybody’s lips: how will John Travolta surpass the role made famous by Divine? Travolta may be a nifty mover, but he’s no legendary foul-mouthed, disco-popping, belly-shaking, dog-poo-scoffing, genderqueer heroine, as was Divine. What’s worse, the producers have slimmed down the character. This is clearly a no-no. Edna Turnblad is supposed to be a big fat tranny, that’s what makes her so good. The erasure of Divine’s special qualities in this new film wouldn’t matter so much if proud fat transgender people in the public eye were ten a penny, but they’re not. How many can you name?

FAT GENDERQUEERS, FAT TRANSGENDERED PEOPLE, YOUR ABSENCE HAS BEEN NOTED

BEING ACCEPTED AS MALE IS GOOD NEWS IF YOU’RE A TRANS MAN. PASSING FOR STRAIGHT, THOUGH, ISN’T ALWAYS A DESIRED RESULT.

A FTM friend remarked to me that your sexuality changes when you transition. I agreed to some extent, but I couldn’t see my own sexuality changing much when I started on T. I’ve been out as bisexual since I was 15 years old and I can’t see that changing with a few shots of testosterone. Sexuality is pretty fluid, but surely the physical and chemical changes going on in my body won’t impact my attractions if I like people of every and any gender?

CHARLOTTE COOPER LAMENTS THE LACK OF FAT TRANS ROLE MODELS

LGBT

WEDNESDAY 6 DECEMBER

GLASGOW CLUBS

CRISTY ROAD WWW.CROADCORE.ORG

LISTINGS

You’d think that the section of the Venn Diagram that You’d think that the section of the Venn Diagram that encompasses transgendered and fat people would be quite substantial. Both groups include those who assert the right to be who they are; who live in their bodies as they please; who hold up a mirror to restrictive social values. Who could ask for better bedmates? But it’s also problematic. To be comfortable about something (fat, gender identity) that many people fear as freakish, when you are already marginalised, could mean embracing a way of being that pushes you beyond the margins of acceptability. Many people are unprepared to do that. Moreover, where aspirational notions of femininity are equated with smallness and slenderness, and masculinity with muscles, maybe fat just doesn’t fit in. But don’t let this put you off. Fat genderqueers, fat transgendered people, your absence has been noted and this is just to say that the world needs you. Please come out, show the world your value, and remember: if your very presence pushes people’s buttons, then surely it means you’re doing something right.

CHARLOTTE COOPER IS A WRITER AND FAT ACTIVIST. FIND OUT MORE AT WWW.CHARLOTTECOOPER.NET

DESTINATION, 17 Albert Place, - New cabaret bar - one

THE STREET, 2 Picardy Place – Smart décor, laid-back

DELMONICA’S, 68 Virginia Street – The queen bee of

to be watched. FRENCHIE’S, 89 Rose Street Lane – Sticky carpet, drag queens, an array of hats, a nice game of bingo, witty one-liners and a seedy undercurrent of scandal. HABANA, 22 Greenside Place – A popular, regular haunt for Edinburgh’s scene queens, with a good distribution of promos and karaoke. PLANET OUT, 6 Baxter’s Place – Diverse crowd, nice staff, and furnishings that make it look and feel like a drag queen’s knicker drawer. THE REGENT, 2 Montrose Terrace – The first CAMRAlisted gay pub in Scotland, everyone is welcome here and it makes for a nice change of pace to the usual scenester drama. SALA, 60 Broughton Street – Fantastic Spanish-influenced food selection makes it a café first and a bar second.

atmosphere, and some of the best bloody marys in Edinburgh. TWIST, 26B Dublin Street – A warm and almost Mediterranean feel, with a colourful range of eats and wines.

Glasgow’s gay scene. Not the place to go for a quiet drink, but can be a great, cheap place to go before clubbing. GLASGOW LGBT CENTRE, 11 Dixon Street ICON, 24 Candleriggs – A charmingly relaxed air with the emphasis firmly on chilled entertainment. MERCHANT PRIDE, 20 Candleriggs – A brash, colourful bar that has to be seen to be believed. MODA, 58 Virginia Street THE POLO LOUNGE, 84 Wilson Street – Glasgow’s arguably most stylish gay venue, safe and comfortable. REVOLVER BAR, 6a John Street – Offers the most pleasant and attitude-free drink on the Glasgow scene - though women are rare. WARHOL, 214 Bath Street THE WATERLOO, 306 Argyle Street – Unpretentious and welcoming, it serves a clientele of mature men.

GLASGOW BENNETS, 80-90 Glassford Street – Busy enough, but thrives on loyalty from people who can't think of anywhere else to go. THE COURT BAR, 69 Hutcheson Street - A good place for conversation, it’s mainly frequented by older men during the evening and mixed during the day. CUBE, 34-44 Queen Street

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

FILM I

t’s been a funny old yea r, w ith many movie pred ict ion s not exactly goi ng to plan. The f i rst shock came at the Academy Awards, with Crash holding off Brokeback to take the top prize, much to most ever yone’s su r pr i s e (a lt hou g h I d i d have a tenner on Crash at 7/1 - email me in January if you want a tip for next year). Johnny destroyed both wee Tom and big Kal-El at the summer box office and Bond triumphed over all expectations, taking the character back to basics. As the year draws to a close, December can sometimes be a bit of a dumping ground at UK cinemas, as distributors keep all their Oscar hopefuls back for January and February. But there’s plenty to look forward to and enjoy, from animated antics in Flushed Away and Happy Feet to big budget adventure in the shape of Eragon and Night at the Museum. There’s a welcome re-release for Woody Allen’s Manhattan and, if you like a Christmas greet, be sure to head along to the GFT before Santa’s birthday for the festive favourite, It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s a guaranteed winner. Merry Christmas, have fun and see you in the New Year. /PG

TOP

Review of the Year

9 DEC - 7 JAN,

Big budget fantasy is back. You can blame Lord of the Rings if this one sucks. (15 Dec)

STRANGER THAN FICTION Will Ferrell makes his bid to be a serious actor in this cracking, erm, comedy. (1 Dec)

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS Will Clint nick Scorsese’s Oscar again with this WWII epic? Actually no, he won’t, but this looks good anyway. (22 Dec)

KINGS THEATRE 1 DEC - 13 JAN,

son-Nimmo (of Balamory fame). times vary, £5. 50£20. 50

By Paul Greenwood

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK, Oran Mor’s 45 minute makeover of this panto favourite. 12. 30pm, £10 (ticket price includes a pie and one drink) 2 DEC - 23 DEC,

THEATRE ROYAL

CINDERELLA, Following sell-out performances and widespread critical acclaim, Scottish Ballet returns with its exquisite new retelling of the classic fairytale, Cinderella. 2pm & 7. 30pm, £9 - £26 9 DEC - 30 JAN,

2006 IS NEARLY BEHIND US AND, AS FILM YEARS GO, IT’S BEEN A PRETTY GOOD ONE, EVEN IF MANY LEFT IT UNTIL QUITE LATE IN THE DAY TO MAKE THEIR PLAY. OF COURSE, THERE HAS ALSO BEEN PLENTY THAT WAS PURE KEECH. THAT’S WHY THE FILM TYPES HERE AT THE SKINNY HAVE PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER AND COME UP‘High WITHFive!’ WHAT WE CONSIDER BE THE BEST ANDpolls WORST OF THE YEAR. AN AMAZING 68 DIFFERENT FILMS RECEIVED A VOTE FOR THE TOP SPOT BUT, AS THE MAN - Borat celebrates hisTO victory in the Skinny ONCE SAID, THERE CAN BE ONLY TEN....

TOP 10

BOTTOM 10

1.BORAT

The ones to run away from, laugh at or just plain avoid, in order from least worst to worst worst.

9. LITTLE MAN Or this?

The spirit of Dashiell Hammett is alive and well in this gripping teen noir that plays like a high school comedy directed by David Lynch.

8. THE FOG

One of Pedro Almodovar’s best ever films has it all - melodrama, comedy, a ghost story. And Penelope Cruz can act. Who knew?

7. BEERFEST

5. THE DEPARTED

I walked out after less than half of this atrocity, but luckily many of my colleagues also hated it. Democracies are great.

Everything you could possibly want from a crime thriller, including a completely loopy Jack Nicholson. A glorious return to form for Scorsese and surely the one that will finally land him his Oscar.

6. THE BLACK DAHLIA

Who remembers when Brian de Palma used to be a talented filmmaker? I do actually, but then I’m very, very old.

A powerhouse cast was only one of the high points in this tricksy tale of warring magicians. We’ve come to expect no less from director Christopher Nolan these days.

Pray that ‘The Beginning’ marks the end, because this was a serious waste of time.

4. VOLVER

6. THE PRESTIGE 7. HIDDEN

Dismal horror films aren’t exactly thin on the ground, but some are just that bit more special.

5. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING 4. BASIC INSTINCT 2 Keep ‘em on love.

Michael Haneke’s genuinely shocking thriller featured excellent performances even if it wasn’t exactly an easy watch.

3. THE OMEN

GFT, GLASGOW, 14 DEC - 24 DEC.

8. PAN’S LABYRINTH

Frank Capra’s Christmas favourite gets its annual run.

You’ve gotta love those monsters as Guillermo del Toro proves once again that it isn’t Hollywood that brings out the best in him. The moral of the story? Stick to Spanish, Billy.

2. THE DA VINCI CODE

INTERFAITH WEEK FILMHOUSE, EDINBURGH, 2 DEC - 5 DEC.

9. CAPOTE

A series of films celebrating diversity of faith.

Philip Seymour Hoffman finally became a star with his Oscar winning portrayal of Truman Capote in this well crafted biopic that focused on his relationship with a death row killer.

FILM MEMORABILIA SALE

10. THE PROPOSITION

Bargains galore to be had as the GFT clears out the attic.

This vivid and brutal western, penned by Nick Cave, was a powerful and beautiful film. Although it probably wouldn’t have made my own personal Top 10, it got a lot of love elsewhere. Stupid democracies.

GLASGOW’S CHRISTMAS PARTY

BUBBLING UNDER:

GLASGOW SCIENCE CENTRE, GLASGOW, 12 DEC.

Good displays all round by these guys but they just didn’t quite make the cut.... Walk the Line, Good Night and Good Luck, Lady Vengeance, United 93, Clerks II

GFT, GLASGOW, 9 DEC - 10 DEC.

Fun for all the family, including a screening of Santa Vs the Snowman.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

DISCO INFERNO, A comedy musical with chart topping hits from the seventies, 7. 30pm, £10/£5 6 DEC - 9 DEC,

December 06

Answers on a postcard if you think a movie should be made just because it’s got a cool release date. The film that proved 100 million people could sleep with their eyes open.

1. THE WICKER MAN

“Aaah, my legs.” It was never going to be a good idea, but did anyone think it would be so truly, hilariously awful?

BUBBLING UNDER: This lot weren’t quite bad enough to make it into the bottom 10, but they’re all still utterly dreadful and you shouldn’t consider seeing them under any circumstances, even, and possibly especially, if you’re drunk. Aeon Flux, Click, It’s a Boy Girl Thing, Silent Hill, Ultraviolet

www.skinnymag.co.uk

BRUNTON THEATRE 25 NOV - 30 DEC,

DICK MCWHITTINGTON, A sparkling

new pantomime that takes a Scottish spin on the traditional tale. 2pm & 7. 30pm, Times vary, consult venue for details.

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE

FUSION 2, Mkl and Mkll, two new dance works 13 DEC - 30 DEC, THE SNOWMAN, When a young boy’s snowman comes to life on Christmas Eve the two set off from Blaze will showcase the best in amateur Street and on a night time quest for adventure. Prices and times Tap dancers in Glasgow, 7. 30pm, £10/£5 vary, consult venue for details. 10-DEC,

16-DEC,

JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH, Join James and his friends - Ladybird, Miss Spider, OldGreen-Grasshopper, Centipede and Earthworm as they escape across the atlantic towards New York’s central park. 7pm, £11. 50/£5. 50 - £14. 50/£7 5 DEC - 30 DEC,

FROZEN, Rapture theatre returns to the Citizens’ with Bryony Lavery’s troubling drama about the disappearance of a 10 year old girl. 7. 30pm, £12/£5 5 DEC - 9 DEC,

A WICKED CHRISTMAS, Sare feet? Greetin’ weans? Cold turkey? Put down your credit card and join the Citizens’ Community Company for a dry look at what’s become of Christmas. 7. 30pm, £5 (10 for £40) 13 DEC - 16 DEC,

STEREODOG, CHINAWHITE, Mr. Livewire & Gary Curley

play house, 10pm-3am, £8 (£5) TFI FRIDAY, SSU, DJ Phil, 4pm-3am, £2 after 5pm, free 11pm-3am, £6 (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. 4 students BALLBREAKER, THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Billy with rock & TWISTED & BRAINFIRE, ARCHAOS, Hardcore, hardstyle, metal, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free gabba & bouncy house & techno (including Manu Le b4 11.30am with PIYP Malin), 9pm-3am, £12 BOOGIE DOWN, BLUU, The groove-merchant Stewart Reid plays a jazz, disco & house sound, 10pm-3am, £5, UNITY REGGAE, SOUNDHAUS, Final reggae experience for the club, 11pm-4am, £7 (£5) free b4 11pm BROWN BAGGIN’ IT, THE GARAGE, Retro, britpop, alter- VANDAL, LIQUID LOUNGE, House sessions with residents Mash & Gianni, 10pm-3am, £5 native, chill, RnB & soul, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 11.30pm with PIYP VICE, THE CATHOUSE - LEVEL 2, Indie rock party with Martin BURLY, THE ARCHES, World AIDS Day special with special Bate (Xfm), 11pm-3am, £5 (£4), £3 b4 11.30pm, free b4 11.30pm with PIYP slave auction - aimed at gay men 25+, 10.30pm-3am, £10 (£8) THE BUNKER BAR, Tam Coyle plays vintage rock & indie, COMPUTELOVE, THE MIXING ROOMS, Electronic sounds, 9pm-3am, Free From 8pm, Free CCA, The Alan Rough Fanclub plays from Maryhill to the COTTON CAKE, THE ARCHES, Kiki (Bpitch Control), Maracana, 8pm-late, Free Brendan Long (Bugged Out!), Octogen aka Marco BerTHE GOAT, Robbie Rolex & The Radio Magnetic nardi plus more techno/electro acts, 10.30pm-3am, £10 Soundsystem on Weekly Rotation, 8pm-late, Free ELECTROBALL, KARBON, 80’s, nu-wave, rock & punk, CUBE FRIDAYS, Urban tunes from Clyde 1’a George Bowie, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) FLUID, MAS, Funky house from Lisa Littlewood, 11pm3am, £5 FREAKMENOOVERS, RUST BAR, Early doors serving of hip ABC SATURDAYS, ABC1, Gerry Lyons plays soul, punk, rock & indie dance, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 hop, funk, RnB & soul, 9pm-12am, Free FREAKMENOOVERS, BLANKET, Fresh hip hop & funk cuts 11.30pm with matric. ABC SATURDAYS, ABC2, David Sinclair (Killer Kitsch) from the Freakmenoovers DJs, 11pm-3am, £6 (£4) plays electro, house & pop, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free GILLES PETERSON, THE SUB CLUB, 4 hour session with world music specialist Gilles Peterson, 11pm-3am, £tbc b4 11.30pm with matric. NOISE POLLUTION, CLUB 69, Dark & crispy techno & elec- AUDIO, BLOC, House, techno & electro from DJ Aiden , 9pm-3am, Free tro with James Ruskin & Redshape, 11pm-3am, £12 NOJ, POLAR BAR (ABC), No Music Policy, 11pm-3am, £6 BAD ROBOT, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Loose Joints & Stevie Elements play from rock to techno & breakbeats, (£4), free b4 11.30pm with matric. NUMBERS, BASURA BLANCA, Rustie (Voltaic), Izu Vs. The 11pm-3am, £6 (£5), £2 GSA, free after 12am CLUB NOIR, CARLING ACADEMY, Burlesque shows and Village Orchestra, Production Unit & VJ Retina Glitch, gothic fun, 9pm-3am, £12 (£9) 10pm-2am, £5 COLOURS, THE ARCHES, Paul Oakenfold, Paul Woolford, OLD SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Old school tunes with Marc Hughes & Nick Bridges, 10.30pm-3am, £25 Gordie & Jack, 10.30pm-3am, £6 DIGITAL HARLOT, STRATHCLYDE UNION (4TH FLOOR), Dr. PINUP, THE WOODSIDE SOCIAL, With live bands The NeeButcher, Effigy & Dawnimatrix play EBM & digital harddles, Juno! & Red Strike, 9pm-2am, £5 core, 10pm-3am, £5 RED & GOLD ROOM, ARTA, Soul musak, 10pm-3am, DIRTY RECORDZ, GUU, Paul N’Jie (Beat 106) plays cur£7, free b4 11pm ROBOT DISCO TERROR, SECRET LOCATION, I-F & Interga- rent tunes, open decks downstairs, 10pm-2am, £3 lactic Gary - CBS Under The Radar Tour, 9pm-late, £13 (£2, £1), free b4 9pm ROCKET, BAMBOO, House music from Geoff M, hip hop DIVINE!, THE VIC BAR, Mr. Divine & Mogwai play tunes, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) & lounge from Junior Campos & Max, 9pm-3am, £5, GROOVEJET, MAS, Weekly house & RnB mix, 11pmfree b4 10.30pm/12.30am students 3am, £7 (£5) SOUND MUSEUM, BREL, DJ Hushpuppy (Art School) & HIP DROP, BREL, Funk, soul, electro & disco from RobChris Geddes (Belle & Sebastian) dig out some retro soul, bie Rolex & Nel, 9pm-1am, Free 9pm-1am, Free

ABC FRIDAYS, ABC1, Genre mash-up from Euan Neilson,

SATURDAY 2 DECEMBER

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

EDINBURGH PLAYHOUSE 1 DEC - 24 FEB,

GLASGOW CLUBS

FRIDAY 1 DECEMBER

3. BRICK

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE

WULLIE WHITTINGTON, The Tron team de-

ORAN MOR

SHORTBUS

A season of classic crime thrillers including Heat and Rififi.

GILMOREHILL G12

CITIZENS THEATRE

liver another fun filled ﬂabbergasting Christmas themed fiasco. 1pm & 7. 30pm, 5pm Sunday, £6

In the year that gave us Borat, why should we have to put up with dross like this?

FILMHOUSE, EDINBURGH, UNTIL 13 DEC.

age of radio drama. 7. 30pm, £8/5

TRON THEATRE 5 DEC - 7 JAN,

It was a close run thing but this delightful comedy drama just missed out on the top spot. Keep an Oscar eye on it though.

HEIST ALMIGHTY

MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET/IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, A classic double bill from the golden 14 DEC - 16 DEC,

MARTHA, One for the kids, something to keep them distracted while you wrap the presents?, 10. 30am & 1. 30pm, 3pm on Sundays, £6 7 DEC - 31 DEC,

10. THE PINK PANTHER

EVENTS

RAMSHORN THEATRE

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, Jack Skellington, King of Halloween, discovers Christmas Town and takes over the organisation of the festive season. 7. 30pm, £5/£3 (including mince pie and mulled wine)

TRON THEATRE

2. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

TOP

PAVILLION

PETER PAN, Learn how to ﬂy with lost boys, mermaids etc. etc. times vary, £12-£15

Gritty, low budget British dramas don’t get much better than this. See Indie Film of the Month. (1 Dec)

Hardcore fun from Hedwig creator John Cameron Mitchell. See Film of the Month. (1 Dec)

ALADDIN, A classic featuring Julie Wil-

29 NOV - 29 JAN,

Niiiice. The funniest film in many years is also the best film of the year. A fearless, hilarious, jaw dropping comedy that has become an instant classic.

LONDON TO BRIGHTON

HANSEL AND GRETEL, A weird, wonder-

ful and unforgettable experience, suitable for children. times vary, £4/£7

FILMS

ERAGON

ARCHES THEATRE

AS FILM YEARS GO, IT’S BEEN A PRETTY GOOD ONE.

EDINBURGH THEATRE

CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG, Truly

TRAVERSE THEATRE

GREEN WHALE, The Traverse will be full of the sounds of the sea this Christmas with Grog and biscuits at the Bar Cafe where children can meet the cast and make puppets following the show. times vary, £6. 50 6 DEC- 24 DEC,

TRAVERSE THEATRE

REHEARSAL ROOM II, Discover the play through watching the rehearsal and hearing the conversations that happen as the creative teams build ideas for the production. Three plays over three nights; Baby Baby, The Girl Who Insisted She Wasn’t There, Women on the Brink. 7. 30pm, £4/£2 or see all 3 for £9/£4. 50 7 DEC- 9 DEC,

LISTINGS

GLASGOW THEATRE

NORTH EDINBURGH ARTS CENTRE

Scrumptious, , Prices and times vary, consult venue 28 NOV - 6 DEC, OLGA THE BROLGA, Olga The Brolga for details. is an exotic tale from down under capturing the magic of Aboriginal dreamtime, featuring an array of bizarre and interesting characters, a magical set, spectacular costumes and original music by Dougie McLean. times 2 DEC - 21 JAN, CINDERELLA, Grant Stott live on stage……. Unmissable. Bring some tomatoes?, , Prices vary, £6/£4-£3, family tickets start at £15 for 3. and times vary, consult venue for details.

KINGS THEATRE

ROYAL LYCEUM THEATRE PINOCCHIO, Kids, tell lies and your nose gets big, you’ve been warned. Prices and times vary, consult venue for details. 1 DEC - 30 DEC,

HOME COOKIN’, BELO, Urban music showcase, 10pm3am, £7, free b4 11pm

HOMEGROWN, BAMBOO, Stevie Sole Middleton, Domenic Martin & Scottie B play house and smooth RnB, jazz & funk, 9pm-3am, £5, free b4 10.30pm/12.30am students I LOVE THE GARAGE, THE GARAGE, Classics, 10.30pm3am, £7 (£5), £6 (£4) b4 12am KARBON SATURDAYS, KARBON, Kev McFarlane, Stephen Lee, Woody play house & hip hop classics, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc NU-SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Fresh northern soul, jazz & funk featuring live percussion, classics downstairs, 10.30pm-3am, £6 OFF THE RECORD, SOUNDHAUS, Abe Duque (New York) with live electro & techno & DEFF in the bar, 11pm-4am, £10 (£8), £7 b4 12am OPEN DEX, DEEP 6 (GUU), Bring your vinyl/CDs if you think you can do better, 9pm-1am, £1, £2 non-members PINUPS, GURU, A celebration of Morrissey & The Simths, 11pm-3am, £5 PUB BEATS, TRANSIT, Random beats & bobs from Continuity-B & Basepair, 9pm-12am, Free SUBCULTURE, THE SUB CLUB, With the Idjut Boys (U-Star Records), 11pm-3am, £8, £5 b4 12am VOODOO, THE CATHOUSE, Under-18 club with metal, emo & punk, 5pm-9pm, £6 (£3) XPRESS, NOVEMBER, House music with Michael Paterson, Kirsty Munro & residents, 9pm-3am, £5, free b4 11pm/ with flyer THE BUNKER BAR, DJ Toast & Mash, 9pm-3am, Free THE CATHOUSE, Barry & Andy with all things rock, 10.30pm-3am, £6 (£5), free b4 12am with PIYP CCA, Jackmaster & Numbers crew, 8pm-late, Free CHINAWHITE, DJ Naeem playing main room RnB & classics, Mirrirbaw playing dunky house in the Mao room, 10pm-3am, £10 THE GOAT, Paul Needles, 8pm-late, Free MACSORLEYS, Jazz band downstairs, Paul Cawley & Karim The Pro-Vinylist upstairs, 9pm-late, Free REPUBLIC BIER HALLE, Leftfield music & pizzas, 9pm-12am, Free

SUNDAY 3 DECEMBER

CLUB CUBA!, FAVELA, Latin rhythms, 9pm-late, Free CLUB PRIORY: RETOX ROOMS, BLANKET, RnB with DJ Richard Levinson, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3) COLD NIGHT SONG, THE GOAT, Guests & DJs play acoustic gems, 8pm-late, Free DISCO BADGER, BAMBOO, Classic house music all night long from Dominic Martin, other boogie from Kash &

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

Max, 10pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 10.30pm/12.30pm with matric JUNK, THE BUFF CLUB, Jazz & funk, with Marky Mark featuring live percussion by Duffy, 11pm-3am, £3, free with matric OPTIMO, THE SUB CLUB, JD Twitch & Wilkes will play pretty much anything and mix it well, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) SPANK, THE CATHOUSE, Rock, punk & dance, 11pm3am, £4 (£2), free b4 1am with PIYP THE BUNKER BAR, Neil Wyper playing new & old rock & electronica, 9pm-late, Free

MONDAY 4 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 5 DECEMBER

12 HOUR TUESDAYS, SSU, Chart music & live comedy, 3pm-3am, £2, free b4 3pm

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc ALL STAR, BAMBOO, Andy Wilson plays funk with DJ Kash on the hip pop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 11pm/ 12.30am with matric DUB & GRUB, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Snacks, meals & Mungo’s HiFi, 5pm-late, Free FOLK IT!, THE MIXING ROOMS, Up & coming folk musician session, From 8pm, Free FUNKY LUV, PLAY, Driving vocal house, 10pm-3am, £5, £3 NUS INFLATABLE FUN, THE GARAGE, Naughty Nicola with inﬂatables & groovy tunes, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 12am with PIYP KALEIDOSCOPE LIVE, ABC2, Old school rock & roll, soul, funk, from the 1960’s-1980’s , 10pm-3am, £3, free with matric. After 12am KILLER KITSCH, THE BUFF CLUB, Electroclash & that, 11pm3am, £4 (£3) REVOLUTION, QMU, Rock & punk with Martin Bate (XFM), 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members ROCK KARAOKE, THE CATHOUSE, Karaoke to rock, Free b4 12am T.I.T., KARBON, Lisa Littlewood & Graeme Ferguson, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4)

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

GLASGOW ARTS

THE ARCHES, 153 ARGYLE ST

CLEMENCE COCQUET AND MIKE KILKELLY - TOUT EST TROP FAMILIER POUR FEINDRE L’ONIRISME, Clemence Cocquet’s illustrations narrate a specific and female personal history. Graphic artist Mike Kilkelly’s stills and animations find that dark teenage pains still resonate today, UNTIL DECEMBER 5, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-10pm, Sun midday-10pm VANESSA WENWEISER - DARK ENTRIES, Clemence Cocquet’s illustrations narrate a specific and female personal history. Graphic artist Mike Kilkelly’s stills and animations find that dark teenage pains still resonate today, DECEMBER 7 TO JANUARY 17, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-10pm, Sun midday-10pm

THE AULD KIRK MUSEUM, COWGATE, KIRKINTILLOCH

CHRISTMAS ART AND CRAFT EXHIBITION, An ideal place to find unique Christmas gifts, UNTIL DECEMBER 20, Free, Tue-Sat, 10am-1pm, 2pm-5pm

BRUNSWICK HOTEL, 106 - 108 BRUNSWICK STEET

MENELAS - ILIAC/ILIUM, Photography examining the hips, UNTIL DECEMBER 3, Free, Daily 8am-Midnight

HOUSE FOR AN ART LOVER, BEL-

THE MAGIC OF MASKS AND PUPPETS, A plethora

VARIOUS ARTISTS, A new show different each month

of exhibits from around the world, UNTIL DECEMER 22, Free, Mon-Fri 10am-4pm, Sat 12pm-4pm

featuring a selection of contemporary Scottish artwork, OPENING TIMES VARY, Free, Sat, Sun 10am-1pm

STREET

ARMEN VAHRAMIAN, A series of paintings by the Armenian artist which engage with the history of Armenian art, DECEMBER 3 TO DECEMBER 31, Free, Tue-Sat 12pm-late, Sun 5pm-late

GLASGOW GALLERY OF MODERN ART, ROYAL EXCHANGE SQUARE OPEN COMMUNITY, An annual opportunity for com-

munity groups to exhibit work from arts-based projects, UNTIL JANUARY 14 2007, Free, Mon-Wed, Sat 10am5pm, Thurs 1oam-8pm, Fri, Sun 11am-5pm BODY LANGUAGE, Figurative work from the collection, UNTIL MARCH 2007, Free, Mon-Wed, Sat 10am-5pm, Thurs 1oam-8pm, Fri, Sun 11am-5pm

GLASGOW PRINT STUDIO (GALLERY III), 25 KING STREET, CHRISTMAS SHOW, An

17TH CENTURY SAMPLERS, Embroidered samplers from

GLASGOW ROYAL CONCERT HALL,

CCA, 350 SAUCHIEHALL ST

CATHERINE SULLIVAN, 2 works by the acclaimed artist who lives and works in Los Angeles - multi-screen projection and a single screen work, DECEMBER 2 TO JANUARY 27, Free, Tues-Fri 11am-6pm, Sat 10am-6pm, closed Sun, Mon

UNTIL FEBRUARY 7, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-1pm, 2pm5pm

LAHOUSTON PARK, DUMBRECK ROAD,

GALLERY COSSACHOCK, 38 ALBION HILLHEAD LIBRARY, 348 BYRES ROAD,

ideal place to find unique Christmas gifts, DECEMBER 2 TO DECEMBER 23, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5.30pm

Sir William Burrell’s wonderful collection of British embroideries, END DATE TBC, Free, Mon-Thu+Sat 10am5pm, Fri+Sun 11am-5pm

HER SENSE OF FUN IS AN EXAMPLE FOR ALL TO FOLLOW

COLLINS GALLERY, 22 RICHMOND

THE BURRELL COLLECTION, 2060 POLLOKSHAWS ROAD

THEATRE & ART

2 SAUCHIEHALL ST,

BILL MILLETT - CAPTURING LIGHT : SCOTTISH REFLECTIONS, A photographic jour-

ney from the Clyde to the powerful storms that pound the coast line of Sutherland to the Mull of Galloway, UNTIL JANUARY 2007, Free, Mon-Sun from 10am

MISO FUNKY MARKET, Reclaiming the concept of craft and making it funky again - includes jewellery, original artwork, bags, accessories, homeware, cosmetics, 16/12/06, Free, 10am-4pm

KELVINGROVE ART GALLERY, ARGYLE STREET,

DALZIEL AND SCULLION - ONCE, A unique collaboration between Glaswegian composer Craig Armstrong and Scottish visual artists Dalziel+Scullion. See feature in the art section, UNTIL FEBRUARY 25 2007, Free, 8pm

THE LIGHTHOUSE, 11 MITCHELL LANE, TAIT & STYLE, Taking a look at the commercial and in-

novative fabrics of the Orkney-based design studio, DECEMBER 8 UNTIL FEBRUARY 11, £3(£1.50), Mon, Wed-Sat 10.30am-5pm, Tue 11am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm NORTHERN CITY (BETWEEN LIGHT AND DARK), Artists and architects exploring Edinburgh’s schizophrenic character, nostalgia and modernity, the relationship between the urban centre and the natural edge, UNTIL MARCH 4 2007, £3(£1.50), Mon, Wed-Sat 10.30am-5pm, Tue 11am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm GLASGOW 1999 DESIGN MEDAL 2006, Including jewellery, fashion, graphics, product design and cuttingedge engineering, UNTIL FEBRUARY 18 2007, £3(£1.50), Mon, Wed-Sat 10.30am-5pm, Tue 11am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm

10am-1pm, 2pm-5pm DRAWN IN, Taking a look a t the gamut of drawn works,

ANALOGUE, 102 WEST BOW

DEAN GALLERY, 73 BELFORD ROAD

Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5pm

very cool wee bookshop, UNTIL DECEMBER 16, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm

Scotland’s foremost landscape painters, UNTIL JANUARY 14 2007, Free, Daily 10am-5pm CONSIDER THE LILLIES, Works from Dundee’s 20th century art collection, UNTIL JANUARY 14 2007, Free, Daily 10am-5pm IAN FLEMING, Marking the centenary of one of Scotland’s most influential and pioneering printmakers, UNTIL FEBRUARY 11 2007, Free, Daily 10am-5pm

VARIOUS ARTISTS, Group Show, OPEN ALL YEAR, Free,

AMBER ROOME, 75 CUMBERLAND ST NAOKO SHIBUYA & JADE STOUT, New paintings by

Japanese artist Naoko Shibuya & Orcadian Jade Stout, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Wed-Sat 11am-6pm

THE BONGO CLUB, 37 HOLYROOD RD

EXHIBITION TBC, Interesting, unusual work in a stimulating environment, OPEN ALL YEAR, Free, Mon-Fri 11amlate, Sat 12.30pm-late

CITY ART CENTRE, 2 MARKET ST

TREASURED, Paintings and drawings from the City Art Centre’s Scottish Collection, UNTIL FEBRUARY 18 2007, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm STRANDS, Investigating our love affair with fabrics - featuring numerous artists’ work, UNTIL FEBRUARY 18 2007, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm PETER HOWSON - PORTRAIT OF A SAINT, UNTIL MARCH 4 2007, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm SOJOURNERS, Scottish artists abroad, UNTIL FEBRUARY 18 2007, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm THE ROYAL MILE REVISITED, Paintings by William Highet, UNTIL MARCH 4 2007, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12pm-5pm

COLLECTIVE GALLERY, 22-28 COCK-

JAMES MCINTOSH PATRICK ARCHIVE, Work by one of

MASTERS OF DESIGN, The latest advances across

eleven art and design disciplines, DECEMBER 7-12, Free, Mon-Thur 10am-8pm, Fri-Sun 10am-5pm

EDINBURGH PRINTMAKERS, 23 UNION STREET

MULTIPLE SURFACES, Eight artist members explore the medium of the collograph, UNTIL DECEMBER 23, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-6pm WINTER EXHIBITION, Annual members exhibition with lots of art for sale, UNTIL DECEMBER 23, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-6pm

ERIC LIDDELL CENTRE, HOLYCORNER, raphy, accessories, paintings, texiles, ceramics and more funky stuff by lots of different artists… find some original gifts for Christmas!, 16/12/06, Free, 1pm-4pm

DECEMBER 22, Free, Wed-Sat 11am-4.30pm

DANISH CULTURAL INSTITUTE, 3

DOUNE TERRACE

NORTHERN LIGHTS, A collection of images created on trips to northern Norway and Normandy by Kirsten Klein, UNTIL DECEMBER 8, Free, Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm

50 ISSUE FIFTEEN

06 Decembery 06

PROJECT ABILITY (TRONGATE STUDIOS), 18 ALBION STREET, CHRISTMAS ART

However, ever since cruelly “letting go” of poor old Leo and his trouser braces to go grab herself a whistle, Kate’s star has been on the up and up. With a string of credible performances in the likes of Holy Smoke and Enigma under her belt, Sam Mendes’ better half then produced highly impressive displays in the mind-bendingly brilliant Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and in the sombre yet well-crafted Finding Neverland. Fresh from appearing in last month’s Little Children, she turns up twice in December, first voicing a rodent in the Aardman animation, Flushed Away, and then opposite Jack Black in rom-com The Holiday.

SALE, A wide ranging show including ceramics, christmas cards and jewellery, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Mon-Fri 10am-5pm

Q! GALLERY, 87-89 SALTMARKET, A GARDEN I ONCE KNEW, Dissecting identity with an art-shaped scalpel - by Vivian Hedley, UNTIL DECEMBER 1, Free, 11am-5pm daily

SORCHA DALLAS, 5 ST MARGARET’S

THE METAL BRIDGE, Group Show featuring

Steven Claydon, Thomas Helbig, Duncan Marquiss, Craig Mulholland, DECEMBER 16 TO JANUARY 27 (CLOSED DEC 23 TO JAN 7), Free, Tue - Sat 11am-5pm

Ultimately though, it was her performance in Ricky Gervais’ hugely popular TV series Extras that has elevated her to cool cult actress status. Playing herself, Winslet starred as a saucy actress dispensing sex-tips and playing a nun in a Holocaust movie purely to gain an Oscar (four nominations so far, no wins). In doing so she refreshingly showed that, despite the fact that hobknobbing with the upper echelons of Hollywood is a regular occurrence, she doesn’t take herself or her occupation too seriously. With the obviously palpable tension of the Hollywood pressure

ST MUNGO MUSEUM, 2 CASTLE STREET,

VOODOO, Photography by Les Stone - ex-

ploring the practice of Voodoo on the Caribbean island of Haiti, UNTIL JANUARY 2007, Free, Mon-Thu, Sat 10am-5pm, Fri, Sun 11am-5pm

SON ST, URS FISHER, New Solo Show, , Free, MonFri 10am-5pm, Sat 12pm-5pm

Equally impressive is the direction that she has chosen since her big break on the silver-screen. After starring as the heroine in James Cameron’s sinking ship epic, it would have been easy for her to pick and choose movies where money was flung at her like CGI water. But, by deciding to forego big-budget popcorn movies and opting to work alongside seasoned actors like Kevin Spacey and Anthony Hopkins, she has forged an honest respectability that is quite unique. Has she completely escaped her “Rose from Titanic” pigeon hole? Almost definitely. Has she forged a genuinely impressive CV thus far? Unquestionably. Can she still toss out a respectable spit-ball? Don’t rule FLUSHED it out. AWAY IS RELEASED 1 DEC. THE HOLIDAY IS RELEASED 8 DEC.

FILMOGRAPHY LITTLE CHILDREN (2006) FINDING NEVERLAND (2004) ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (2004) IRIS (2002) QUILLS (2000) TITANIC (1997) SENSE AND SENSIBILITY (1995) HEAVENLY CREATURES (1994)

DOUGLAS GORDON, Installations throughtout the

as part of the artist’s retrospective, UNTIL JANUKILIMANJARO CAFÈ, 126 NICOLSON ST gardens ARY 14 2007, Free, Tue-Sun 10am-3.30pm PHOTOS OF AFRICA, Cosy surroundings, great coffee ROYAL SCOTTISH ACADEMY, THE too, CLOSING DATE TBC, Free, Café hours MOUND THE LEITH GALLERY, 65 THE SHORE, LEITH ROTER SALON AND NEW ACADEMY Mon-Fri 11am-5pm, Sat 11am-4pm

NATIONAL GALLERY OF SCOTLAND,

EDINBURGH COLLEGE OF ART, LAU- NATIONAL MUSEUM OF SCOTLAND, RISTON PLACE

Glass, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Tue-Sat 12pm-5pm BLACK CUBE, video works by Yael Bartana; from everyday life in Israel , UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Tue-Sat

STITUTION ST, LEITH

CHRISTMAS ART SALE, A wide ranging show including ceramics, christmas cards and jewellery, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Mon-Fri 10am5pm

cooker, so many big actors behave like highmaintenance divas and Winslet’s sense of fun is an example for all to follow.

SCOTLANDART.COM,

NEW WORK SCOTLAND, Sara Barker and Jan Pottinger- ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR, Jewellery, Graphics, photog-

TOBIAS STERNBERG, Powerful sculptural works, UNTIL

ate Winslet has come a long way since Leonardo DiCaprio taught her how to spit on board the majestic decks of the R.M.S. Titanic. Despite strutting her stuff in thespian romps such as Sense and Sensibility and Hamlet, it looked as though she would forever be known as “Rose from Titanic”.

DOGGERFISHER,

MORNINGSIDE ROAD

CORN EXCHANGE GALLERY, CON-

PROJECT ABILITY (CDA GALLERY),

PLACE,

by Stephen Carty

A bohemian return to salon-style for the RSA, UNTIL DECEMBER 17, Free, Daily 10am-5pm, Thu 10am-7pm DOUGLAS GORDON, UNTIL JANUARY 14 2007, £6 (£4), Daily 10am-5pm, Thu 10am-7pm THE MOUND, FAR HORIZONS - ARTIST TRAVELLERS YOUNG ATHENIANS, An essential snapshot of the - 1850, British artists travelling before mass tourgrassroots art scene in the capital., UNTIL NOVEMBER 12, 11 GAYFIELD SQUARE 1750 Free, Daily 10am-5pm, Thu 10am-7pm ism, UNTIL DECEMBER 10, Free, Daily 10am-5pm, Thu GRAHAM FAGAN, Solo Show, UNTIL DECEMBER 8, Free, 10am-7pm Wed-Fri 11am-6pm, Sat 12pm-5pm GOYA: MONSTERS AND MATADORS, Original Etchings, 2 ST STEPHEN PL FRIEDRICH, Group Show, DECEMBER 15 TO FEBRUARY 3, DECEMBER 16 TO FEBRUARY 25 2007, Free, Daily 10amVARIOUS ARTISTS, Art for Sale!, OPEN ALL YEAR, Free, Free, Wed-Fri 11am-6pm, Sat 12pm-5pm 5pm, Thu 10am-7pm 10.30am - 5.30pm, Sun 12am - 5pm

BURN ST

12pm-5pm

Kate Winslet

THE MODERN INSTITUTE, 73 ROBERT-

ERIC MENDELSOHN, Dynamics and Function: Realised various mediums, UNTIL DECEMBER 21, Free, Tue-Sat

Visions of a Cosmopolitan Architect, DECEMBER 15 TO FEBRUARY 9, Free, Mon-Fri 10am-5pm

MATT SEWELL: SNOW DRIFTING, New show inside this

LAETITIA GUILBAUD, Electrifying, fluid new work, UNTIL JANUARY 22 2007, Free, Tue-Sat 9am6pm

18 ALBION STREET,

GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, 167 LILLIE ART GALLERY, STATION ROAD, RENFREW STREET, MACKINTOSH GALLERY, MILNGAVIE, CHRISTMAS SHOW, Various artists,

EDINBURGH ARTS

LLOYD JEROME GALLERY, 200 BATH

STREET,

FILM

LISTINGS

CHAMBERS ST

REFLECTIONS, A decade of North lands creative glass, UNTIL JANUARY 2007, Free, Daily 10am - 5pm

BEYOND THE PALACE WALLS, Islamic Art, UNTIL NOVEM- OFF THE WALL, Floor- and Ceiling-based Works from

the collection, DECEMBER 9 TO MAY 1 2007, Free, Daily 10am-5pm

BER 5, £6(£5), Daily 10am - 5pm

NATIONAL WAR MUSEUM OF SCOT- SCOTTISH NATIONAL PORTRAIT LAND, EDINBURGH CASTLE GALLERY, 1 QUEEN STREET COMMANDO COUNTRY, UNTIL FEB ‘07, Free with

HARRY BENSON, Celebrating fifty years of photojournaladmission to Edinburgh castle, Mon-Sun 9.45amism, UNTIL JANUARY 7, £6(£4), Daily 10am-5pm, Thu 5.45pm (April to Oct) Mon-Sun 9.45am-4.45pm (Nov 10am-7pm to March) NORTH SEA PORTRAITS, Portraits of north sea 34 ABERCROMBY ENERGY: oil workers by Fionna Carlisle, UNTIL JANUARY 28, Free, PLACE Daily 10am-5pm, Thu 10am-7pm VARIOUS ARTISTS, New Jewellery by Emma Gale, on the 23 COCKBURN STREET theme of Objects of Desire, UNTIL DECEMBER 23, Free, CINÉMATHÈQUE DE TANGER / AMONG THE MODMon-Fri 11am-6pm, Sun 10am-4pm ERNS , Video and film work from the Arab world, UNTIL JANUARY 28 2007, Free, Daily 11am-6pm

OPEN EYE GALLERY,

STILLS,

THE QUEENS GALLERY, PALACE OF HOTHE FRUITMARKET GALLERY, 45 MAR- LYROOD HOUSE

KET STREET, CHRISTINE BORLAND, DECEMBER 2 TO JANUARY 28 (CLOSED DEC 24-JAN 2), Free, Mon-Sat 11am-6pm, Sun 12pm-5pm

34 ABERCROMBY PL

SCOTTISH NATIONAL GALLERY OF MODERN ART, 75 BELFORD ROAD

CANALETTO IN VENICE, Paintings and Drawings, UNTIL JANUARY 7 2007, £5(£4), Mon-Sun 9.30am-6pm

TALBOT RICE, UNIVERSITY OF EDINBURGH, SOUTHBRIDGE

KEITH FARQUHAR/LUCY MCKENZIE, In main gallery, UNTIL DECEMBER 9, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5pm

RED DOOR GALLERY, 42 VICTORIA ST

RAEBURN AND HIS PRINTMAKERS, In Georgian gallery,

OPEN ALL YEAR, Free, Mon-Sat 11am-6pm, Sun 11am-5pm

TOTAL KUNST AT FORREST, 3 BRISTO

EDUARDO PAOLOZZI, Moonstrips Empire News (prints), VARIOUS ARTS AND CRAFTS, Art at reasonable prices, UNTIL DECEMBER 9, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5pm UNTIL DECEMBER 23, Free, Mon-Fri 11am-6pm, Sun

10am-4pm

INGLEBY GALLERY, 6 CARLTON TCE

WINSTON ROETH, New solo show, UNTIL DECEMBER 22,

ROYAL BOTANICAL GARDEN, INVERLEITH ROW

New art in stimulating surroundings, Free, Open all year

www. www.skinnymag.co.uk skinnymag. co. uk

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

IT’S A BOY GIRL THING DIR: NICK HURRAN

S TA R S : K E V I N Z E G E R S , S A M A I R E A R M S T R O N G, E M I LY H A M P S H I R E , SHARON OSBOURNE RELEASE DATE: 29 DEC. CERT: 15

Te e n a g e g i r l N e l l ( S a m a i r e Armstrong), and her sworn nemesis Woody (Kevin Zegers) wake one morning to find that, magically, they have switched bodies. They soon realize that they will need to help each other and learn to be friends in order to reverse the spell, lain by an Aztec statue no less. Together, they must master university entrance tests, American football playoffs and, most importantly of all, the high school prom. It’s a Boy Girl Thing attempts to capture the playfulness of Freaky Friday and combine it with the freshness of American Pie but, sadly, in this battle of the sexes nobody wins, least of all the viewer. And you know a film is in trouble when Sharon Osbourne has the funniest line. [Megan Garriock]

CASINO ROYALE DIR: MARTIN CAMPBELL STARS: DANIEL CRAIG, JUDI DENCH, MADS MIKKELSON, EVA GREEN RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW. CERT 12A

Taking Bond back to grass-roots level, Casino Royale documents his first mission as a newly promoted Double-O agent and, in the process, offers some fascinating character

The

REVIEWS insights into his womanizing ways, his alcohol dependence and even his love of fitted tuxedos. Despite swerving the typical Bondian blueprint and forgoing the usual gadgets, Miss Moneypenny, and the pervasive use of Monty Norman’s popular score, director Campbell and star Craig have managed to resurrect the franchise with the best Bond in years by focusing on how a spy becomes (key word) the ‘Bond, James Bond’ we all know and love. By giving the character depth (a move for which poor Dalton was criticised) and opting for a darker slice of reality over a pun-spouting caricature, the movie works on a number of levels and although we may not have the distinctly recognizable suave super-spy till the thoroughly satisfying closing reel, we do, as Chris Cornell’s storming soundtrack suggests, know his name. Welcome back 007, we’ve been expecting you. [Stephen Carty]

and Paul Barber (The Full Monty) as a fellow bouncer, don’t quite distract from the muddled narrative and some poor plotting. Mathew Whyte’s knockout cinematography almost saves the day, gloriously gritty and expansive on a shoestring budget. Marquand, whose late father Richard directed Return of the Jedi, has come up with a promising debut which lands some hard-hitting blows. [Colan Mehaffey]

DEAD MAN’S CARDS

RELEASE DATE: 15 DEC.

DIR: JAMES MARQUAND STARS: JAMES MCMARTIN, PAUL BARBER, SAMANTHA JANIS RELEASE DATE: 15 DEC. CERT: 18

Boxing, back street lowlife and brutality abound in James Marquand’s stunningly shot directorial debut, Dead Man’s Cards. It’s the tale of a struggling boxer (co-writer James McMartin) who takes a job as a bouncer at a dodgy Liverpool club and becomes involved with the city’s underworld. Decent performances from Samantha Janus as his wife

GONE The Upside of Anger

DIR: RINGAN LEDGWIDGE STARS: SHAUN EVANS, AMELIA WARNER, SCOTT MECHLOWICZ CERT 15

If you’ve seen Dead Calm you’ve already seen Gone. It’s another one of those “your new best friend’s a mentalist” thrillers that also includes The Hitcher, Pacific Heights and The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. This one has Brit couple Alex and Sophie in the Outback with American psycho Taylor (Wolf Creek’s Scott Mechlowicz) who, having a photo of Alex with another woman, holds the sap’s genitals in one hand and aims to get Sophie’s in his other. Its setting is supposedly meant to create the same isolation Dead Calm got from being at sea, but it

FILM OF THE MONTH

just shows up how little there is to the film beyond formula. Jumping through hoops to progress the plot, the couple perform one idiotic error after another to the point where you start respecting the crazy one for just being criminally insane and not criminally stupid. Should be renamed Some Nutters Do ‘Ave ‘Em. [Alec McLeod]

STRANGER THAN FICTION

off, his understated shyness gradually veering into wild-eyed desperation. While the story is less watertight than, say, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it takes itself less seriously and is more enjoyable for it. [Alec McLeod]

THE UPSIDE OF ANGER DIR: MIKE BINDER STARS: JOAN ALLEN, KEVIN COSTNER, ERIKA CHRISTENSEN

STARS: WILL FERRELL, EMMA THOMPSON,

RELEASE DATE: 15 DEC.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN

CERT 15

RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC.

Joan Allen stars here as a fortysomething mother of four grown or nearly grown daughters, struggling to cope after her husband’s recent walkout, supposedly with his Swedish secretary. Finding a drinking buddy in neighbour Costner, a washed up baseball star turned talk radio host, she tries to hold her family together while doing a not very good job of resisting Costner’s advances. What we get is a fairly inconsequential romantic drama with several bitterly funny scenes, anchored by the stellar performances of its supremely experienced leading couple. Allen impresses in a showy role where she gets to yell and cry and act drunk, but Costner is even more of a delight, having matured from a superstar into a hugely watchable character actor with a really nice line in middle aged grouches. [Paul Greenwood]

Following Jim Carrey’s lead, Will Ferrell has progressed from his surreal improvisations to attempt “proper” acting, and has managed to find a film that combines the themes of Carrey’s most successful serious outings. Like Truman, Harold Crick’s life is someone else’s creation - novelist Emma Thompson, whose narration he hears one day whilst brushing his teeth. From here the Kaufmanesque story manoeuvres itself through its paradoxical premise well, having Crick visit Hoffman’s literature professor to figure out what kind of story he’s in, and how he can avoid the overheard intention of his author to kill him off. Maggie Gyllenhaal as the love interest is sweetly feisty, but above all this is Ferrell’s film and he pulls it

STARS: SIMON PEGG, DAVID SCHWIMMER, ALICE EVE RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC CERT: 15

DIR: MARC FORSTER

CERT 12A

DIR: JEAN-BAPTISTE ANDREA

In this sinister comedy about a blackmail scheme amongst disgruntled call-centre employees, attempts are made to veil its insipidness by a series of banal, gimmicky plot twists which leave the audience more confused than riveted. Although convoluted storylines are formulaic and exhaustingly predictable, the confusion emanates from the discontinuity of Andrea’s filmmaking; one wonders whether the grating dissonance between understated, indie-music-laden scenes and those that would look more at home in a Vin Diesel film (supported by pounding Rammstein tracks) is a deliberate decision by the French director. While the film does not completely fail in its genre, the dialogue comes across as stilted and is overacted to a cringe-worthy degree, especially by Schwimmer and McElhone. The last ten minutes of the film are somewhat engaging, though the final twist is markedly derivative of Shallow Grave. One of the film’s only noteworthy strengths is its stellar soundtrack (barring, of course, some of the more XXXesque songs). [Ilani Blanke]

HOLLYWOODLAND

JACKASS NUMBER TWO

Ben Affleck stars as TV Superman George Reeves, found dead in suspicious circumstances. (OUT NOW)

Number twos and so much more consumed for your viewing pleasure. (OUT NOW)

TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY

SHORTBUS STARS: SOOK-YIN LEE, PAUL DAWSON, LINDSAY BEAMISH RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC. CERT: 18 WWW.SHORTBUSTHEMOVIE.COM

The gifted and challenged gather weekly at Shortbus, the exclusive New York club of the title, run by one Justin Bond (Kiki of ‘Kiki and Herb’) who’s sucking off half the NYPD to keep the place open. Within this omnisexual milieu, people mingle, make music, play games and have sex. This starting point could easily have resulted in a depressing portrayal of egocentric people working hard to be fabulous and bitchy, or the film could have glossed over the bigger picture in order to focus on hot people fucking. However, the interwoven stories of the main characters draw us in. Whilst gently poking fun at twenty-first century hipsters taking themselves too seriously, or couples working out their problems New Age-style, the film also succeeds in drawing out the

EVEN THE MOST SEXUALLY ADVENTUROUS TURN OUT TO HAVE HANG-UPS.

The greatest band in the world get their own movie. Rejoice. (OUT NOW)

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS

SHORTBUS

(22 DEC)

Learn more about the Battle of Iwo Jima in our feature on Eastwood’s latest.

Q&A with writer/director John Cameron Mitchell. (1 DEC)

ISSUE FIFTEEN

PANORAMA (LOWLIFE)

Lowlife label head Braintax dropped the most lyrically blinding album of the year, cussing doom and gloom hip-hop and urging listeners to bring the soul back in a fantastic and cohesive set of raw hip-hop, straight outta Yorkshire. The witty reﬂections of pub anthem ‘Last Tenner’ bounce off the weighty political concerns of ‘Syriana Style,’ as Beat Butcha drops some great, treble-filled kicks and snares.

8. ALEX SMOKE

POLTERGEEKS (KFM/INCORPOREAL)

9. JEL

SOFT MONEY (ANTICON)

PARADOLIA (SOMA)

Smoke emerges from the clicking, glitched-out tundras of minimal tech house wielding epic string arrangements, gently smudged electro vocals and a series of epic but understated moments of danceﬂoor clarity. A vast improvement on his debut, exciting and innovative Scottish techno from our old friends at Soma.

PENPUSHERS

Edinburgh’s Penpushers delivered an assured and confident third LP proper this year, and did the Scottish music scene proud. Lyrical concerns ranging from the literary to the surreal and back again, with the melliﬂuous voice of Jane Gilbert adding a wistful brocade to proceedings, this was a lyrically ambitious album, with production polished to match. Just don’t call it hiphop.

A darkly political hip-hop record from the Anticon founder that explored the sonic edges of the territory uncovered by his own cLOUDDEAD project in a more restrained and cathedral-esque fashion, working vocal contributions from Steffi Bohm and Wise Intelligent among others into a vivid tapestry of found-sounds and stuttering beats. A beautiful piece of work.

Online Features...

ZERO DB

BONGOS, BLEEPS & BASSLINES (NINJA TUNE)

Another entry for the mighty Ninja Tune, and another act that absolutely destroyed the crowd when they visited Edinburgh (at Departure Lounge). The duo’s fusion of Latin rhythms, the heavy percussion of jazz and world music, and dark electro and house basslines proved a remarkably versatile formula. B, B & B is a varied, vibrant album, with ﬂourishes of hip-hop abnd jazz poetry that stick in the mind as long as the jacking beats of the danceﬂoor cuts.

3. MILANESE

EXTEND (PLANET MU)

Drill & bass, as some people like to call it, pushes the conventions of d&b to their limit. Extend is a challenging listen, but the intricate polyrhythms, and the sheer fuck-off-ness of the whole approach to sound is exhilarating. Themes of urban decay and apocalypse prevail, and with varied instrumentation and vocal cuts, this is an album with crossover appeal - perhaps the first not made by a certain Mr Jenkinson.

4. JUNIOR BOYS

SO THIS IS GOODBYE (DOMINO)

A twenty-first century Pet Shop Boys, this collection of finely wrought electro ballads on love, loss and separation is a stunning example of how intelligent pop music can be reimagined through machines and brought up to contemporary relevance. Like a sad-eyed Justin who has lost his libido and developed a sudden fixation on Fischerspooner, this album crept into our ears and stayed there.

DARC MIND

SYMPTOMATIC OF A GREATER ILL (ANTICON)

A lost album of sorts: Darc Mind’s debut disappeared when Loud folded, only to be resurrected by Anticon. Darc Mind’s MC Kevroc became a voice from the Golden Age of hip-hop, chastising bling-laden rap merchants as though from beyond the grave. “Hip-hop is the gap-toothed grin in America’s eight-by-ten headshot,” he told The Skinny back in October, and if that’s true, Kevroc is the twinkle in its eye. Expect big things from him in 2007.

10. SQUARERPUSHER HELLO EVERYTHING (WARP)

An edifying return to form for the aforementioned Mr Jenkinson, dance music’s most experimental beard-wearing recluse. With moments of spastic brilliance in the drum programming to match anything from his twisted back catalogue, and a more orchestral hand controlling the movements of the bass and instrumentation, this is one of his most challenging but rewarding LPs. Photo by Danny Fontaine

PANACEA Talking exlusively to Bram Gieben about their new LP ‘Ink Is My Drink’ on Rawkus, K-Murdock & Raw Poetic ﬂy some steel kites for your reading pleasure

vulnerabilities of each of the main characters: the couples’ counsellor who has never had an orgasm, the gay male couple taking their first tentative steps into polyamory, the dominatrix who can’t open up to people. One or two less believable scenarios can be forgiven in the face of an ultimately uplifting story in which solutions are found in unexpected places, and even the most sexually adventurous turn out to have hang-ups. Directed by Hedwig herself, and featuring cameos from queer icons such as JD Samson and Bitch, Shortbus is guaranteed a cult following – one that’s well-deserved. [Nine]

December 06

YOYOYOYOYOYO (BIG DADA)

BRAINTAX

ATLANTIS A classic Glasgow night revived - Colin Chapman talks to the movers and shakers behind the recently resurrected SubClub session. PLUS: LOADS MORE CLUB, LP & 12” REVIEWS, CLUB PREVIEWS, DJ CHARTS & MUCH, MUCH MORE... SEE YOU IN 2007! - THE BEATS TEAM

Panacea enjoy a beer and some Online Features

SPANK ROCK

In a year of significant triumphs for Big Dada and its parent label Ninja Tunes, there was never really any doubt about The Beats Team’s pick for Album of the Year 2006. YoYoYoYoYo was a blast from both past and future at once, xxxChange merrily pilfering samples from old soul cuts, drums from grime and crunk and basslines from techno and electro, while rapper Naeem, AKA Spank Rock, battered and caressed the listeners’ ears with a torrent of super-slick cartoon gangster and party rhymes which owed as much to Rick James as Slick Rick. It was a cocaine-dusted, sex-slippery, genre-humping beast, matched and exceeded only by their exuberant live performances at Cabaret Voltaire and Nice n Sleazy’s, featuring the Hollertronix DJs cutting and pasting on a bafﬂing array of PCs and decks. We caught up with rapper Naeem for a few brief words, and asked what shows stood out for this year: “The Maccarn Park pool show in Brooklyn was monumental, the whole family was there: Cosmo and DJ Ayres from the Rub, Diplo, Amanda Blank and Spank Rose, MIA. All we needed was Plasic Little and Low B to come down from the mothership and it would have been official “Tronix Babies Have Conquered New York!” We didn’t know how ground breaking the album was. Alex (xxxChange) is a mad man, he pulled out of me some quality shit that no one expected. We are always breaking some kind of rule, but in this case we were just making music we like, and think that is the only time you can find us following the rules. Of course we will come back to the UK: we always have a great time there, and I’m sure the next time we return you motherfuckers will know what to expect.” A messianic duo, come to save hip-hop from itself - Spank Rock, The Skinny salutes you!

BIG NOTHING

ONLINE//:WWW.SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

DIR: JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL

SKINNYsoundtrack to 2006

BEATS

FILM

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Zero dB reﬂect on being the second best...

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

REVIEWS

LP REVIEWS

London to Brighton

by Colan Mehaffey

FILM

BEATS

DAN BLAND

(GRITTY PRODUCT/RADIO MAGNETIC) THE MAN BEHIND EDINBURGH’S GRITTY PRODUCT RECORD LABEL, AND A FORMER RESIDENT AT THE MUCH-MISSED SOLID STEEL NIGHTS AT THE BONGO, DAN BLAND GIVES US A TOP TEN FROM HIS RADIO MAGNETIC SHOW.

PANACEA

1. DANNY BREAKS - HAND EXERCISE #2 (ALPHABET ZOO)

INK IS MY DRINK

Tune of the week on The Gritty Product show. Lots of cut up samples about “correct fingering” and a killer organ hook.

The triumphant return to action of Rawkus Records is not an NYC ‘backpacker hip-hop’ project - far from it. Producer K-Murdock’s beats are wildly experimental, fusing genres in a manner that befits his background with the Low Budget crew of Philadelphia, of which MC Raw Poetic is also a native. Murdock is unafraid to stitch and fuse together syncretic elements - ‘Trip of the Century’ oscillates between a B-Boy break and a warped oldskool R&B sample, while Stax-soul strings rise and fall in the background. As an opener and statement of intent, it is devastatingly effective, the breaks in Raw Poetic’s hyper-kinetic flow serve to whet the appetite for action. ‘Steel Kites’ is a powerful narrative about black hope and ambition, and demonstrates Raw Poetic’s ability to uplift when talking about negative issues, much like Guru and CL Smooth did back in the good old mid 90s. ‘Coulda Woulda Shoulda’ successfully melds Mos Def to Maxwell, the most saccharine moment on the album. Panacea have mass appeal like A Tribe Called Quest, but they are not backwards-looking - they stand alongside Spank Rock (also Philly natives) in their ability to successfully mutate the blueprint of hip-hop. A polished and original debut. [Bram Gieben]

2. DJ SKULL - HEAD BASHER

(RAWKUS)

With big name DJs dropping their skit tering, minimal experiments amongst the flashing lights and seething bodies of Europe’s finest techno hangouts, Vakant are rapidly establishing themselves as the next big thing in Berlin minimalism. Remix / reinvention wizard Mathias Kaden has been at the forefront of this new assault and his Synkope EP looks set to make playlists everywhere. These three tracks of densely-layered groove fuse avantgarde musical riddles with solid dancefloor beats in a style akin to Chain Reaction’s techno-dub output. A-side ‘Synkope’ lures the listener in with swathes of synthesised melodic vocals that mask the sporadic, crowded beats rippling under the surface, whilst B1’s ‘Sinthylooper’ kicks off with a pounding percussive bassline that morphs into a minor key, clipped melody running around the speakers. The attention-deficit c l i c ks a n d b e e ps of ‘Nu a n c e’ emphasise the insolvability of these delicate experiments, skittering and jumping around a four-four thump, but infuriatingly feeding back into static and nothingness, demanding constant reply. [Liam Arnold] OUT NOW

V/A

SOMA COMPILATION 2006 (SOMA)

This superb two CD compilation sums up what has been an incredible year for Soma: having celebrated their 200th single release and 15th

ISSUE FIFTEEN

OUT NOW WWW.SOMARECORDS.COM

‘EL MARIEL’ (TVT) Regrettably, Pitbull is a rubbish gangster rapper who sounds much like ever y other wannabe hardman, with some daft bugger on the Casiotone trying to make crunk out of a bossanova pattern. Which is a shame, because he is a Latin rapper, born in Cuba, and as such could have been the next rapper to give props to the many, many Latin hip-hop fans in the US, as Big Pun and Cypress Hill have in previous years. But no, he insists on doing the ThugLife™ gruff shouting thing, while his producers do their best to imitate Three 6 Mafia, and he lamely

December 06

DJ Extra & Kemo on the cuts. Check the new album Poltergeeks for some freakishly strong Edinburgh action.

9. THE AMAZING ROLLO - IT’S EASY TO GET USED TO (UNSIGNED) Half American half French producer. Top track from his debut album That Happened To Me Once.

Another Edinburgh act that has the capability to sell to a worldwide audience.

LOOK OUT FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE RTTETURN OF RAWKUS

Lots of samples of old jazz tunes chucked together by Louie Vega. Fatter than MC Hammer’s trousers.

fails to rap anywhere near as fast or as cleverly as they can. Perhaps the bits in Spanish are really, really good - but it seems unlikely, as his English lyrics are the usual litany of guns, hoes and drug deals. The album’s title refers to a boatlift that relocated over one hundred thousand Cubans to Florida, a notable event in recent history, but it seems Pitbull is more concerned with reprising his role in the recent Scarface videogame than he is in talking intelligently about Cuban history. This is the kind of hip-hop that gets money chucked at it indiscriminately - it should be studiously avoided by all fans of the genre. If Pitbull was British, he’d be Phil Mitchell. Think about that before you listen. [Omar Kudos] RELEASED: JAN 22 WWW.PITBULLMUSIC.COM

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ‘SINCE THE LAST TIME’

PITBULL

4. BUG & DADDY FREDDY - RUN THE PLACE RED (AFX REMIX) (AFX)

8. PENPUSHERS - SILICON INFANTS (KFM)

5. LOUIE ‘PHAT KAT’ VEGA - SAXY NINE (JAZZ CLUB)

AN INTERVIEW WITH FORMER RAWKUS ARTIST DJ HI-TEK.

birthday they continue to release quality tunes from outstanding artists. This edition of their annual compilation features a fabulously diverse selection of tracks, proving exactly why Soma has been so successful over the years. CD1 contains a selection of 2006’s best, including Alex Smoke, My Robot Friend and Funk D’Void, whilst CD2 is a seamless mix from label bosses Slam. Standout tracks include My Robot Friend’s ‘Swallow’ (Derrick Carter remix), a phenomenal release from a truly eccentric artist, and ‘The Snake Charmer’ by Silicone Soul, providing chunky, funky house beats for the dancefloor. This release covers all genres of electronica – from twinkly, soft beats to “astrohouse funk” to fast, pounding techno, and everything in between. A must for fans of electronic music. [Karen Taggart]

Drum and bass monster from Billy AKA Knifehandchop. Turn the subwoofer up and sit back.

Crazy/daft as a brush track from the guys who I do the radio show with.

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/PANACEANMUSIC

RECORDS IN FORTHCOMING ISSUES OF THE SKINNY, INCLUDING

(VAKANT)

3. KNIFEHANDCHOP - RETURN TO CHINATOWN (TIGERBEAT 6)

7. MATCHSTICK MEN - WE’RE SO MONEY (UNSIGNED)

PRESSURE)

WWW.RAWKUS.COM

SYNKOPE EP

Brilliant track that was featured on the Jeff Mills mix Live At The Liquid Rooms but Jeff in his wisdom got the track wrong on the CD.

If sound needed to be killed Kid 606 is the man to do it. Choice cut from the amazing album Kill Sound Before Sound Kills You.

Mad ragga, glitch hardcore. Completely nuts. Oh yes, the other two tracks on the flipside are un-listenable! Ha!

RELEASED: DEC 18

MATHIAS KADEN

(DJAX UP BEATS)

6. KID 606 - WHO WAH KILL SOUND (TIGERBEAT6)

(EDE)

Arrested Development have always been all about the positive vibes, and this album has no shortage of them. It’s the kind of LP that makes you wish for summer skies - to best enjoy it, pull down the shades, turn up the lights and heating, and have an indoor barbecue (or ‘cook-out’ as they would no doubt say). This is definite chicken-and-beers-inthe-park music. Opener ‘Since The Last Time’ muses on the myriad of changes - solo careers, children and marriages - that the band have gone through since their celebrated debut 3 Years, 5 Months and 6 Days in The Life Of... was released. ‘Miracles’ takes the riff from ‘I Believe

In Miracles’ as the jump-off point for an upbeat funk track, exploring faith and the miracle of the ordinary. Yes, Speech is a Christian and his lyrics reflect this, but he is rarely didactic. His faith, like his lyrics, are a celebration of what the so-called ‘cool’ mafia term ‘the mundane’ - friendship, love, watching your seeds grow, harmony with nature and spiritual strength are his themes. The second half of the album displays an admirable ear for a club cut, with some straight up head-nodding moments on ‘Inner City’ and ‘I Know I’m Bad’ that remind you what an eloquent, gifted MC Speech is, and how tight AD’s live instrumentation-based approach to hip-hop remains. In many ways their only peers are the arguably superior The Roots, but AD need not emulate. There is no-one working harder to promote positivity and happiness in hiphop, when so many portray only darkness. Like a ray of sunshine, AD are back, and boy, are they welcome. [Bram Gieben] RELEASED: JAN 8 WWW.ARRESTEDDEVELOPMENTMUSIC.COM

melodies. ‘Ocean Reformatique’ by Sean Kerwin picks up the pace with bare beats and clicks bursting into drones and accompanied by soft operatic singing. It’s trancey, acidic, and deep with a flash of Detroit. Ambient swells follow on ‘Thousands’ by FAOJesus, while Espion provides a stand-out track with ‘Silence and Solitude’, building a scene of contentment through melodies and beats that are supportive rather than directive. Acidfairy is the only female to make an appearance on the LP (‘On the Seventh Day’), starting in with an almost gabba beat steered into 4/4 territory - akin to a harder ‘Born Slippy’ (Underworld) to get the party geared up. Be sure to also check out Fiction, Ives, Binary Zero, Darkmode, Chikuma Tsuboi, and ‘Rochelle Salt’ by Scopeboy, a lofi Schneider TM style of soft rock. [Struan Otter]

10. FOUND - MULLOKIAN (SURFACE

WWW.GRITTYPRODUCT.COM

to his previous releases. Tunes like ‘Family Values’ focus on a thinnedout version of his perception of what family values mean and express that Xzibit has had other things to think about, saying that his “success is not defined by wealth” (yeah right!). Don’t worry though, Xzibit hasn’t grown too old too quickly, and his usual calls to “Get off your ass and celebrate” are still apparent when listening to tracks such as ‘Concentrate’, the first single taken from the album. Collaborations with other West Coast hard-nuts such as DJ Quick, Kurupt and The Game are featured, bringing together Xzibit’s vision of a politically and socially observant album. [Jonny Ogg] RELEASE DATE: 18 DEC.

TRONIC: NEW WAVE OF ELECTRONIC SOUNDS VOL 1 (TRONIC)

IF YOU LIKE THIS CHECK OUT PATRICK WALKER, SATELLITE DUB AND RED SNAPPER

XZIBIT

Despite sounding like a sci-fi drink, Tronic is one of Glasgow’s finest electronic outfits, and they also run a regular club night. This is their first release bringing together thirteen artists. Jeye begins with Sun Sun Son, ethereal electronica with ambient glitches, pulled together w i t h L a u r e n t G a r n i e r- e s q u e

(SONY)

Xzibit took a step back from his c a re e r as a T V pe r sona lit y to concentrate on his sixth studio album in an illustrious ‘rise and rise’ career which has spanned over 10 years. 18 Dec sees the UK release of his Full Circle album which takes a trip back to his roots and strongly focuses on the deeper and more meaningful side of hip-hop. It’s an “older and wiser” reflection on the industr y, racial relations and his family, expressing views from an alternative perspective

elieve it or not, independent film production in Britain is going through something of a purple patch. Following Andrea Arnold’s excellent BAFTA sweeping Red Road, this month sees the release of Paul Andrew Williams’ award-winning directorial debut, London to Brighton. A thrilling slice of British realism, it has deservedly scooped awards at the Edinburgh, Raindance and Dinard film festivals. Remarkably, it achieved this with a budget of just £80,000.

Williams didn’t allow the tight shooting schedule to impinge on the look of the film; the often handheld, subjective aesthetic perfectly matching the narrative and sharp pacing. “I wanted the camera to appear like it was right there, the way we see things,” he says. “We don’t see things on a 35 mil frame and I wanted to absorb people into this world.” Budgetary restrictions were not a consideration for the filmmaker when casting the film, having decided to re-cast Stanley and Harris in their original roles from ‘Royalty’. Stanley delivers a performance of real conviction as the morally conf licted Kelly, turning tricks as a means of raising the cash required to escape with Joanne. Devoid of saccharine laced Hollywood morality, the pair have an incredible dynamic and a tangible will to survive.

The film tracks a day in the life of low-rent prostitute Kelly (Lorraine Stanley) and 11 year-old runaway Joanne (Georgia Groome), fleeing to Brighton to save their lives. Having become involved in a fatal sexual transaction with a millionaire, they are pursued by his son Stuart (Sam Spruell) and Ke l ly ’s p i m p, D e r e k ( Joh n ny Ha r r is) . It’s the kind of taut drama that the British Film Industry seems to have virtually abandoned in While it’s unlikely favour of more commercially viable Britcoms. to break box office records, London to Brighton is a rare treat these days, being a well-crafted, conWriter/ director Williams developed the story from vincing and enthralling British thriller. Williams his 2001 short ‘Royalty’ and decided to make the has already graduated to bigger things, with £2 film independently, knowing the dark subject mat- million budget dark comedy The Cottage scheduled ter was unlikely to secure major backing. “One for release next year. If the determined and talof the producers helped raise the money through ented director can fulfil the promise of his debut, his friends”, says Williams of funding the project. he’s set to become one of our industry’s leading “That was the way I wanted to do it as there was lights. no outside influence on the film at all.”

“A THRILLING SLICE OF BRITISH REALISM.”

RELEASED: OUT NOW

FULL CIRCLE

V/A

Things are grim down South in London to Brighton

WWW.RADIOMAGNETIC.COM

The flip side of true independence is damn hard graft, as he discovered when shooting the film. “You’d have a situation where you’ve got a page and a half of the script to shoot in 45 minutes because you couldn’t have the location for any longer,” he remembers. “I mean, the last day was a 15 hour night shoot but everyone was really behind it.”

DIR: PAUL ANDREW WILLIAMS STARS: LORRAINE STANLEY, JOHNNY HARRIS, GEORGIA GROOME RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC. CERT: 18 WWW.L2B-THEMOVIE.CO.UK

Xzibit prays for a good review.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

I vividly remember the f i r st t i me I saw Ran. Brought up in a household in which artistic merit, rather than actual content, was thought to be the best barometer of whether a film is suitable for children, my first encounter with Kurosawa’s ‘blood-soa ked epic’ came at an age when Thundercats was still prohibited viewing. I was, it should be said, shocked. I’m not sure what the norm is for children to come to terms with the fact of human suicide. My ‘coming to terms’ certainly came quickly, watching a pair of concubines ceremonially do themselves in with swords, after their king’s ignoble defeat in battle. I shiver to think of it, but ‘true’ films can never really hurt you. It’s still a great movie. Have a look at Dave Kerr’s reappraisal on the facing page and, if you haven’t already, turn to our Free Stuff offers on page 4 to be in with a chance of winning a deluxe special edition of the film. Happy viewing. /RT

ONLINE://SKINNYMAG.CO.UK MICHAEL HANEKE TRILOGY BOXSET THE WORLD OF LUC JACQUET

CALL THE SKINNY TICKET LINE FOR TICKETS TO ANY OF THE GIGS IN PINK ON THIS PAGE. DON’T SAY WE DIDN’T WARN YA!

DECEMBER

TV EXTRA XMAS TELLY. NICE. If Santa should bring you a financial windfall this year, there are a few Boxing Day treats you can bestow upon yourself. First up is Afterlife series 1&2, ITV’s popular supernatural drama starring Lesley Sharp and Andrew Lincoln as a troubled psychic and sceptical academic respectively. Well written and delicately directed, to keep things genuinely spook y without being over the top, the real treat is Sharp’s surprisingly convincing portrayal of her character’s steady mental decline over the course of the series due to the paranormal activity she channels. Next up is another supernatural drama, this time of the time-travelling, extra terrestrial variety enjoying a resurgence of late. Torchwood (part one) is the adult-

gling to seal Cardiff’s rift in space-time, but if you take it with a similar pinch of salt to its parent programme, this is sexy, gory and thoroughly enjoyable. The second release from the BBC this month is an altogether more comfortable affair, taking you back to a time when the beeb concentrated on charming, inoffensive sitcoms. Allo TORCHWOOD IS Allo series 5 vol.2 , sees the much loved warTHE ADULT-AIMED time comedy nearing the SPIN OFF FROM THE end of its ten year run, with ORIGINAL DR WHO the communist resistance gathering steam and the possibility of finally liberating Nouvion from zee Germans becoming ever more realistic. Created by aimed spin off from the original Dr Who, and follows ex the same team as Are You Being Served this classic character Captain Jack Harkness in his new capacity as comedy uses similar comedic devices: lashings of sexhead of the Welsh branch of supernatural special ops, ual innuendo, well worked farcical set ups, and plenty The Torchwood Institute. It is unclear what prompted of outrageous accents. [Peter Walker] this move from time plundering with the Doctor to strug-

THE SADIES BARON MORRISEY DEC-02 THE DYKEENES THE REZILLOS, THE DAMNED AND THE BEAT MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD PULL TIGER TAIL TOM MCCRAE NEW FOUND GLORY PLACEBO DJ YODA BASEMENT JAXX DIRTY PRETTY THINGS DEC-08 ROOTS MANUVA (LIVE SET) SKINRED TENACIOUS D THE POGUES THE FARM THE ROOTS OCEAN COLOUR SCENE UNKLE BOB MY LATEST NOVEL PET SHOP BOYS AND PAULO NUTINO

DEC-01 EGO, EDINBURGH DEC-01 STUDIO, 24EDINBURGH SECC, GLASGOW £36.00 DEC-02 GARAGE GLASGOW DEC-03 CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW DEC-03 ARCHES, GLASGOW DEC-03 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-04 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-05 CARLING ACADEMY GLASGOW DEC-06 SECC, GLASGOW DEC-08 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-08 SECC, GLASGOW CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW £15.00 DEC-09 CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH DEC-10 STUDIO 24, EDINBURGH DEC-11 SECC, GLASGOW DEC-11&12CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW DEC-16 LIQUID ROOM, EDINBURGH DEC-17 CARLING ACADEMY, GLASGOW DEC-20 BARROWLAND, GLASGOW DEC-26 KING TUTS, GLASGOW DEC-27 KING TUTS, GLASGOW DEC-31 PRINCES STREET GARDENS, EDINBURGH

£10.00 £11.00 £9.00 £22.50 £12.50 £6.00 £14.50 £16.50 £23.50 £11.00 £23.50 £13.00 £9.50 £28.00 £26.00 £15.00 £17.50 £25.00 £6.00 £8.00 £43.00

JANUARY

HUNDRED REASONS THE BOY MOST LIKELY JAN-19 GET CAPE, WEAR CAPE, FLY RAY LA MONTAGNE RAY LA MONTAGNE CUE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR HOT CLUB DE PARIS HELLOGOODBYE

JAN-9 KING TUTS, GLASGOW ORAN MOR, GLASGOW £10.00 JAN-21 QMU, GLASGOW JAN-22 CLYDE AUDITORIUM, GLASGOW JAN-24 USHER HALL, EDINBURGH JAN-25 CATHOUSE,, GLASGOW JAN-28 KING TUTS, GLASGOW JAN-27 QMU, GLASGOW

FEBRUARY

PLAN B EDDI READER EDDI READER BLOC PARTY THE FEELING

FEB-2 FEB-14 FEB-17 FEB-20 FEB-23

ARCHES, GLASGOW ABC, GLASGOW USHER HALL, EDINBURGH CORN EXCHANGE, EDINBURGH CORN EXCHANGE, EDINBURGH

£13.00 £9.00 £17.50 £17.50 £9.50 £7.00 £10.50

BEATS

DVD

0871 230 4436

‘ALLO ALLO’ DELIVERS LASHINGS OF SEXUAL INNUENDO, WELL WORKED FARCICAL SET UPS, AND PLENTY OF OUTRAGEOUS ACCENTS

£11.00 £20.00 £18.50 £15.00 £15.00

0871 230 4436

FILM RAN

FILM RELEASES

VIVA ZAPATERO!

NACHO LIBRE In the context of pioneering Japanese cinema, Akira Kurosawa’s is a name which is deservedly bandied around. His multi-disciplined approach has informed the works of various titans, from Sergio Leone and George Lucas to Ridley Scott and Peter Jackson. Such has been Kurosawa’s influence that he inadvertently gave structure to the American Western at a time when it seemed intrinsically tied to the stock pursuit of straightlaced gun slinging heroism. This is evidenced by Yojimbo and Seven Samurai, various elements of which evolved into the Spaghetti Western Trilogy and The Magnificent Seven respectively.

that went some way to exacting the horrific tapestry woven by the becollared Elizabethan’s original play. Centering upon an empire-relinquishing warlord and his three power hungry seeds, this is an intricately woven and visually delicious blood-soaked epic; rife with vivid colour and devoid of superfluous characters in its relentless demand for both empathy and disdain towards the players involved.

With Ran (meaning Chaos in his mother tongue), Kurosawa continued along the lines of the convincing Shakespearian adaptations he had commenced many years before. In it he created a companion to King Lear

OUT NOW.

Suffice to say, you could do much worse than to stick this 20th anniversary disc in your Uncle Tam’s stocking. [Dave Kerr]

The surprise hit of 2005’s Venice Film Festival, Sabina Guzzanti documents the short lifespan of her satirical Italian TV series, RAIot (a word-play on “riot” and the state-sponsored “RAI” network), and her struggle for freedom of expression. Opening with her collaboration with Britain’s Rory Bremner, the comedienne seamlessly combines unique comic mimicry with a serious warning. Despite its poor position in the schedule, ‘RAIot’ drew massive ratings for its first (and only) episode. Berlusconi’s Mediaset company promptly sued RAI for defamation. Guzzanti then set out to expose the corruption within the Italian media, inextricably linking it to the ruling political party. Viva Zapatero! is a witty, damning account of a country in denial, where free speech is curtailed and few care. [Lucy Weir]

THE LADYKILLERS The Ladykillers - along with the other Ealing comedies of the 1950s - is acknowledged as a classic. An American version, released by the Coen Brothers in 2004, only emphasised that the original’s impact could not be recaptured. The basic plot - a heist going wrong - becomes an excuse for tight set pieces, with Peter Sellers, Alec Guinness and Katie Johnson giving perfectly realised performances. Between slapstick, sharp wit and character comedy, the film is complete, exposing modern comedies as crude and lazy. The Ealing studios consistently created some of the most intelligent comedies of the twentieth century. The Ladykillers exemplifies their powerful ensemble acting and languid writing. [Gareth K Vile]

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

F FOR FAKE Who better to take us on a tour of Illusion and Reality than Orson Welles? A superb documentary in which the Documentarian is as fascinating and enigmatic as the subject. (4 DEC)

SNAKES ON A PLANE Snakes on a Plane has everything. Snakes, a plane, Samuel L “mother-f*cking” Jackson, some scares, some nasty deaths, a whole bundle of laughs and even (here’s the shock) some tear jerking moments. (26 DEC)

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH Al Gore’s enviromental documentary is a powerful and sometimes depressing look at global warming and its consequences. It’s not often that we hear politicians saying something worth listening to, so this film is recommended to everyone. (26 DEC)

OUT NOW

RELEASE DATE NOV 13

Jared Hess’ second film is an entertaining and very silly story following the fortunes of a Mexican priest-turned wrestler played by Jack Black. (4 DEC)

FULL VERSIONS AVAILABLE ONLINE AS RECOMMENDED BY:

22 MARCHMONT ROAD, EDINBURGH 0131 229 5136 93 BROUGHTON STREET 0131 556 1866

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

EDINBURGH CLUB REVIEWS CRAGGS, PARRALLEL FORCES, & DILLINJA

by Alex Burden

THE SKINNY TALKS TO DOGMA’S MUCH-MISSED NEIL TEMPLAR ABOUT HIS DIRT PROJECT, EMIGRATION, AND THE DIFFERENCE A CHANGE MAKES.

e ’r e i n A m s t e r d a m , taking in the sights, culture (and deep breaths past every cof fee shop) to catch up with Edinburghborn Dirt aka Neil Templar and Hwatsong. Neil is known for being a resident DJ for Dog ma, a nd a f ter ma ny years DJing with Hwatsong, another Scottish techno club circuit regular and founder of the seminal Pillbox, the idea of “making layers and layers of techno” as a team came as a natural development. The project became a longdistance relationship when Ash (Hwatsong) emigrated to Amsterdam and landed a technician job at the Boom Chicago theatre. Neil then received an important call in 2004: “Ash phoned me up and said ‘Do you want to move away from Edinburgh and work somewhere cool and do a great job?’ There was only one answer I could respond with, which was ‘Fucking yes man, let me at it!’” Like Neil Landstrumm and Dave Tarrida before them, they made the trek to Europe. A more nurturing environment ca n be fou nd for elect ron ic music abroad : the lockdown is being put on clubs and latenight events in the U K. Did Dirt ever think about sticking around Edinburgh and trying to continue there? “No,” says Neil, “Not because I don’t love my hometown, there just didn’t seem to be any opportunities that were going to shake me out of the cycle of self-abuse that was quite rife at that time!” Moving from Scotland to the Netherlands, home of Rotterdam hard techno,

EDENANGELS

NICOL EDWARDS, EDINBURGH OCT 28 is a bit like a homecoming for a techno DJ/artist. The clubbing scene itself is closer to the UK scene than people might think, but “with less fighting, hassles and running around,” says Neil. Si nc e t he move DJi n g ha s ta ken a back s eat a nd t he fo c u s ha s s w it che d t o t he new direction their music has taken, and their jobs as theatre technicians. In the last month they’ve been working on their new project, The Kill Jockeys, involving Vladimir Berkhemer, a resident musician at Boom Chicago. Neil explained: “It’s the next logical step, to get a live musician involved, or even a number of them. Vlad is

a classically trained musician – he plays drums, keyboards, guitar, everything! Our recent Halloween gig featured me and Ash on turntables and Vlad with a full drum set. We made tracks for him to play on top of, just minimal beats and basslines, then he’d add in movement with drums. Vlad also plays a lot of blues and jazz, so we were messing around with some quite quick electro beats. Vlad started playing this really funky, sleazy blues on top and it sounded amazing.” The Kill Jockeys first played to a delighted crowd, but the band is playing it cautiously; “It’s great that they enjoyed it but it’s not the same as feedback from people in the industry – it

CABARET VOLTAIRE, DEC 15

£11 / £13, 9PM START WWW.NINJATUNE.NET

December 06

CHECK OUT THEIR MYSPACE ACCOUNT FOR GIG INFO AND TO LISTEN TO SOME TRACKS: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SCOTTISHDIRT

RED VODKA CLUB, EVERY THURS

animations of tiny Scruff-creatures mixing and dancing. The cartoons and the childlike innocence of songs like ‘Fish’ and ‘The Whale Song’ should not make you underestimate Scruff as a producer or DJ - his finely honed studio skills can be loosed upon any of the genres mentioned above with equal gusto, as his forthcoming album is sure to prove once again. What’s more, he joined the Ninja roster by battling DJ Food on the turntables, which is no mean feat. Bongo punters are in for a treat - just remember not to go too near the trout. [Bram Gieben]

Scruff: It’s not all fish you know...

ISSUE FIFTEEN

doesn’t have much meaning,” Templar says modestly. S o yo u wo u l d r e c o m m e n d Amsterdam for people looking to make a new start? “It’s an easy place for English speakers to come and make a start – everyone speaks English here, they may not look too happy about it, but they do, whether they pretend they can’t or not! It’s a good place to come - I’ve never been happier myself, these have been the best two years of my life.”

UNDERGROUND PLAYGROUND

MR SCRUFF

Manga has become an alliance of various one-offs in place of their regular slots, going on to make each event an unquestionable diary date for the drum and bass masses. The launch party for Craggs and Parallel Forces’ Northern Soul album, headlined by label boss Dillinja, was no exception - the sell-out crowd just goes to show that each Manga resurgence is eagerly anticipated. Warm up for tonight’s event was a flat out G-Mac / DJ Kid back-to-back set hosted by the original Manga badboy, MC Feelman. CFF may be the new kids on the block but stealing the show, even from the all-powerful Dillinja, almost seemed an easy task. Joined by vocalist James Hadfield, their strictly dancefloor grooves moved the crowd in unison, proving that they are a force to be reckoned with, both in clubs and the studio. Flashes of excellence from Dillinja rounded off another of Manga’s outstanding shows. [Jonny Ogg] WWW.BIGBADBASS.COM

CLUB PREVIEWS You have to love Mr Scruff. Not content with returning to running a club night in his hometown after successfully holding down residencies in London and Brighton, and touring the world with the likes of Roots Manuva, he has also been steadily touring the UK with his Keep It Unreal DJ show for several years. Typically this involves a storming 6 hour set starting out with funk, reggae, jazz and classic hip-hop, moving through Ninja Tune classics, soul and pop gems, house of the frantic and French variety, a pinch of electro, and of course the classic mix of random and outright funky hits from Trouser Jazz and his earlier self-titled debut album. All this accompanied by bizarre stick-figure

MANGA,THE LIQUID ROOM EDINBURGH, 10 NOV

Most people associate Edinburgh’s Cowgate with cheap drink, cheesy clubs, and backpackers a plenty. However, one night is mounting a resistance against this tawdr y image: Underground Playground. The diminuitive Red Vodka Bar is the venue for this irregular Thursday night session which specialises in tech/minimal house and electro c o u r te sy of a ptl y n a m e d a n d supremely talented residents Kojak and Dr ti-hibt. In many ways a shrunken version of We Are Electric at the Cab just up the road, last month’s superb Abelton live set from guest DJ Mike Ford (Tombone Records) set the tone for the future of this admirable little night. [Peter Walker] 11PM-3AM, £TBC.

According to their flyer, Edenangels is “sexy, funky, tribal, techie or even just downright filthy”, and indeed that’s what the residents delivered at their packed Halloween night. Most of the clientele were hardcore old-timers, making for a relaxed atmosphere on the two dancefloors, only marginally spoilt by the younger, drunken punters who stumbled in midway. Little Miss Mix-it, modestly sweet and pretty, got the bar area hot and sexy, while whippersnapper Lucky Luciano efficiently got the gay/ mixed crowd going in the main room, before handing over to a very cheerful Sandro Rodriguez, whose riotous set was such an eclectic mix of old favourites that it would be churlish not to forgive his occasionally dodgy mixing – who says the DJ can’t join in the party! Edenangels is more like a nutty private party than a club and well worth a fiver for the privilege of gatecrashing. [Wendy Martin]

PHARCYDE & GUESTS

THE LIQUID ROOM, EDINBURGH 7 NOV Opening proceedings were Jae-P and Myth, resembling cute hip hop dolls, their names sewn in glittery writing on their t-shirts - just pull the ring at the back for child-friendly rhymes! Next up was Glasgow’s Loki, lauded for ‘being an MC with a Scottish accent and having lyrics about real things’ which is great, if you think that nonsense mutterings in a nasal twang over uninspired beats are okay because they’re ‘not tr ying to be American’. The Great Ezcape were easily superior but offered no change from convention. Finally, Bootie Brown and Imani bounced onstage and rolled right into the hits, ‘On the DL’ and ‘Ya Mama’ encouraging so much crowd participation that the absence

of 50% of Pharcyde didn’t show. These two have enough personality to keep the feel of the music afloat, but still can’t totally compensate for Fatlip’s harder edge or Tre Hardson’s more tuneful delivery. This was a reminder of what was great about the Pharcyde; without any macho posturing, myth making or proselytising, they made hip hop fun and accessible for many but, as later material hints, maybe not enough to sustain a lengthy career. A good time had by all, but only as a bizarre ride down memory lane. [Caroline Hurley]

THE RUFFNESS

RANGZEN CHARITY NIGHT THE BONGO CLUB, EDINBURGH NOV 2 The Ruffness are well known in the Edinburgh scene for excelling in their unique blend of blues, jazz, reggae, and d&b mixes that transport you from chilled out dub intros to a dancing frenzy. After their stint at the Late ‘n’ Live shows during this year’s fringe, they returned to headlining at the Bongo for the RangZen charity night in aid of Wateraid and the Free Nepal Education Foundation. This gig highlighted their talents and with Amy Mac collaborating the crowd really got going. Her stage presence is mesmerising, and the Ruffness provided the perfect instrumental compliment to her wide vocal range and engaging singing. A few hearts were begging for more during her sultry and emotive moments on stage. An enthusiastic band that know how to relate to the crowd and lift their spirits, they captured the atmosphere of the evening and finished off a night of great performances from all the acts involved. [Lara Moloney] TO HEAR THEIR LATEST TRACKS VISIT WWW.THERUFFNESS.COM

UGLY DUCKLING

LIQUID ROOMS, EDINBURGH NOV 11 Ugly Duckling are aptly named, given that they are consistently one of the most underrated and underappreciated groups in hip-hop. Despite producing four albums full of the kind of fresh and catchy old skool hip-hop that makes commercial rap seem completely inconsequential, they still only manage to draw a small but dedicated crowd. However, after the success of their Bang for the Buck album tour this year they were back by popular demand to rock Edinburgh, and it’s in a live capacity that they really come into their own. Their songs are perfect for audience participation, and MCs Andy C and Dizzy Dustin are masters at working the crowd, even getting audience members on stage for a few choice tunes. Maybe it’s the fact that they look nothing like your typical hip-hop act, or their steadfast refusal to sell out for fame and fortune; whatever the reason they haven’t hit it big yet, it’s certainly not because of the music. [Peter Walker]

GAMES

TOM CLANCY’S SPLINTER CELL – DOUBLE AGENT (UBISOFT)

Christmas 2006: CASTLES, GUNS, SWORDS AND WII... by Craig Wilson

THE BEST EXCUSES YET TO ESCAPE YOUR NAGGING FAMILY THIS CHRISTMAS Its cold, it’s dark and there’s far too much Noddy Holder for anyone to take, but at least the festive season brings with it one benefit, presents. So, just in case you’re still considering what to hint for from loved ones, the Skinny has a few suggestions for you…

Medieval 2: Total War (PC): What better to do this yuletide than rule Europe (and more) with an iron gauntlet. This, the newest incarnation in the critically acclaimed total war series has more factions than ever before, the largest campaign map yet; Medieval II is the culmination of each previous games success’s but also has a few new features. Armies no longer look like a collection of clones with each soldier now having been individually modelled, giving armies a colourful, lively appearance. One of the best excuses yet to escape your nagging family this Christmas, what do they matter when you have an aging daughter to marry off to some dying emperor!? Fun with the rents is one thing, but inheriting half of Germany… well… it’s obvious isn’t it?

Gears of War (Xbox 360): Its official that there’s too much forced good will at Christmas, so what could be more than enjoyable than unleashing disgraced soldier Marcus Fenix, and your own growing frustration, upon the Locust Hoard that is (in a shocking new plan) trying to wipe out mankind. But its not the story that’s important here, it’s the bone shattering combat, that’ll see you constantly diving for cover to save your suitably chiselled face from some impromptu surgery. It’s also the first game to use the new Unreal 3 engine which truly makes this feel next generation.

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Game-cube/Wii): After over a year’s worth of delays Link’s back having shed himself of his cutesy cell shading, and for the first time since 1998 fans are getting what they want, an older Link who actually looks up to taking on the scourge of

Hyrule. Promising to be the most epic Zelda game yet, Twilight Princess will see Link gain the ability to transform into a wolf, engage in horseback combat and, as usual, save Hyrule from a mysterious darkness. While it will also be released on Gamecube, it is more importantly, the key launch title for Wii and merges the revolutionary motion-sensing, nunchuck controller with a world of swordfights, archery and good old fashioned platforming. Nearly a decade on, Twilight Princess is set to capture the throne of the Ocarina of Time as the best game in the series so far..

Hardware: It’s a difficult decision. On one hand we have the powerhouse that is the PS3 with its next generation cell processor and bluray technology. On the other we have the Wii, Nintendo’s homage to the simple fun of gaming with the most revolutionary control system since they plonked an analogue stick back on their N64 controller over a decade ago. The PS3 does have the technical age, destroying what the Wii can produce graphically as effectively as Goya would a 4 year old’s self-portrait, but what it’s lacking is innovation, a killer line-up, a price tag that won’t require a mortgage, and common sense. Also there are reports that its backwards compatibility is so broken you may as well try and shove a Betamax video in there and hope for the best. When its coming out at a price tag greater than both the 360 and Wii combined, it won’t matter whether you’ve been naughty or nice, you just have to be stinking rich. Comparatively, Nintendo’s little white box is focusing on taking gaming to a wider audience while evolving it for hardcore oldies. So, price and all considered, dont wait till march for the PS3, the Wii is the way forwards.

The oldest NSA agent in the world returns for yet another mission against terrorist nasties who want to unleash a WMD onto some poor unsuspecting folk. This sort of thing is getting a little repetitive by now, which is why after the opening hardcore mission, the game changes tack entirely. Old Sam Fisher’s life takes a turn for the unfortunate: his daughter dies, he has a breakdown, and with nothing left to lose, he is sent to prison undercover to infiltrate a terrorist organization. It’s still business as usual: sneaking around, stowing bodies and hiding in cupboards. But the difference now is that Sam’s bosses don’t trust him, and nor do his new terrorist mates. So each side sets you trust objectives fail too many for either side and it’s curtains for our hero. This balancing act adds another level to the normal gameplay, as the choices you make decide which of the several endings you get. Ubisoft have, as usual, outdone themselves with the look

GAMES

BEATS Neil Templar: Diggin’ the Dirt

and feel of the game. It’s gorgeous to look at, taking full advantage of the 360’s technology. The only downside is that it takes an eternity to load each mission. Another complaint that can be levelled at the game is that it’s too heavily aimed at fans of the series, with the clumsy and vague tutorial section meaning that newcomers will be tempted to give up before the end of the first mission. Other than that, it’s a pretty solid addition to the series. [Graeme Strachan] OUT NOW ON 360/PC/PS2 £39.99/£34.99 WWW.SPLINTERCELL.COM

ONLINE://SKINNYMAG.CO.UK PERIPHERAL PRESENTS

GRAND THEFT AUTO: VICE CITY

THE LOWDOWN ON SUPER HIGH-TECH KEYBOARDS

THE LATEST HANDHELD GTA, SPORTING NEW MISSIONS, VEHICLES AND THE ABILITY TO SWIM...

SID MEIER’S ALPHA CENTAURI RETRO HEAVEN FROM THE MASTER OF IMAGINARY WORLDS

TONY HAWKS: DOWNHILL JAM A NEW SPIN ON TIRING SKATER SERIES FOR THE DS

STARFOX COMMAND GAMES COMING SOON

CHARMING GAME FEATURING AGGRESSIVE SOFT TOYS

WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN DECEMBER

FAMILY GUY FUN FOR AFFICIANADOS OF THE TV SHOW ONLY

TECANIS CANEM EDIT ROCKSTAR’S CONTROVERSIAL SCHOOL BASED WEDGIE FEST ARRIVES ON PS2

Canis Canem Edit

In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what you ask for. Santa’s not going to be delivering much this year with so much to play.

WWW.UGLYDUCKLING.US

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

FESTIVE THEATRE GIVES THOSE OF US LONGER IN TOOTH AN OPPORTUNITY TO REVISIT THE PLACES WE REMEMBER OUR IMAGINATION BEING BORN

THEATRE ‘Tis the season afterall It ca n be a tough life writing for the Skinny. Out ‘til all hou rs, work i ng to deadlines that have p a s s e d b e for e t he show you’re seeing ha s e ve n s t a r t e d , s t o l e n no t e b o o k s , broken pencils. These are the everyday tria l s of t he cu lt u re hack. The last thing you need then is some ‘comedian’ to get you up on stage, and to expose you for the low-down critic you are for all present to bray and boo at. This is exactly what happened to our own Gareth K Vile, who, despite his villainous name, was out doing his Knight Errant’s best as a comedy reviewer. Arch mischief-maker John Hegley, whom our Mr Vile had interviewed just a few weeks before, recognised ‘our man in the crowd’, and removed him from said crowd there and then. I’m told that the following exchange was friendly, even that praise was offered to the Skinny by the Luton-based comic, but the fact is Gareth has yet to recover from this embarrassing experience. Naturally the fewer people who know about the incident the better. /R.J.

TOP

EVENTS

HANSEL AND GRETEL THE ARCHES THEATRE, 9 DEC – 7 JAN A weird, wonderful and unforgettable experience, suitable for children and those with a sense with a sense of the eerie truth of fairy tales.

REHEARSAL ROOM 11 TRAVERSE THEATRE, EDINBURGH, 7-9 DEC Discover the play through watching the rehearsal and hearing the conversations that happen as the creative teams build ideas for the production. Three plays over three nights: Baby Baby, The Girl Who Insisted She Wasn’t There, Women on the Brink.

THE SNOWMAN EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE, 13-30 DEC When a young boy’s snowman comes to life on Christmas Eve the two set off on a night-time quest for adventure. Expect great sets and a treat for all.

FROZEN CITIZENS THEATRE, GLASGOW, 5-9 DEC Rapture theatre returns to the Citizens’ with Bryony Lavery’s troubling drama about the disappearance of a 10 year old girl. High-quality dramatic writing.

OLGA THE BROLGA NORTH EDINBURGH ARTS CENTRE, UNTIL 16 DEC An Australian aboriginal story brought to life in high style. Featuring original music by Dougie McLean, this should be colourful in every sense.

As can be expected for this time of year, theatres across the land are filling their bill with shows aimed at a younger audience. It is after all the prime time in the theatrical year to leave the restraining orders, reins and ‘little’ gags at home. Now is when when we allow the noisy halflings the freedom of the theatres to experience the Pantos, revisited children’s classics and newer fantasy works that take centre stage. However, before we break out into expletives and curse all that is seasonal and childish, we might do well to remember that Christmastime is in fact built on fiction, fantasy and fairytale. And it has been, after all, these very explorations into the mystical lands of children’s literature that have helped shape us and many past generations. Festive theatre not only introduces a whole new generation to old and new classics and the magic that lies woven in their stories, but also gives those of us longer in tooth an opportunity to revisit the places we remember our imagination being born.

by Simone Gray

Virginia Radcliffe fall into the festive spotlight from 6 December through to 24 December. Again this is another company that is driven by the motive to fire imaginations of all ages. Having recently completed a tour of Molly Whuppie, they have turned their attention East to bring their interactive and captivatingly imaginative adventures to the Traverse. The inventive tale of three Scottish children who set off on a whaling ship in search of a mythical Green Whale is sure to excite with its account of deep-sea adventure, pirates and romance. Born from the belief that good theatre for children is good theatre for everyone, their production promises to engage with its offbeat humour and magical yarn. Although we have been fed on a diet of Northern custom and tale, we do well to remember that

the magic of art and fantasy is a worldwide phenomenon. Happily, there are a few more exotic options for children’s theatre out this month too. Olga the Brolga, running until 16 December at the North Edinburgh Arts Centre, showcases an unfamiliar Aboriginal Christmas tale from down-under, and provides alternative fare from ordinary seasonal pickings. Clearly ‘tis the season for make believe, and December is a time to revisit eternal tales. Perhaps we should relish the chance to recapture that youthful feeling that any wild dream can come true, including sea monsters, giant peaches, talking snowmen and even Santa? The theatre on offer this season can transport you there. Don’t resist its charm.

Glasgow’s theatre offerings over the month seem to have been crafted with the belief of the power of a classic to wow young minds and entertain older audiences. At the Arches Theatre you can catch Hansel and Gretel for a full month from 7 December. This 55-minute production promises to lure everyone between the ages of three and 103 years-old into a bewitching wonderland, giving a whole new meaning to seasonal sugar rush. This well loved children’s story by the Brothers Grimm will be given the same mesmerizing treatment by the Arches Theatre Company that has seen the two previous children’s story adaptations - The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson and The Selfish Giant by Oscar Wilde - become sellout successes. The Citizen’s Theatre is also presenting a timeless classic to celebrate the time of year as they explore and interpret the work of fantasy genius Roald Dahl (5 - 30 December). James and the Giant Peach couldn’t be a better fantastical adventure to offer, if enchanting a younger audience is the charge. This adaptation by acclaimed children’s playwright and author David Wood, under the direction of Jeremy Ralson, promises to be a celebration of the wild and wonderful hinterland of this mastermind and is as good an excuse as any to be re-enchanted by Dahl’s heady storytelling spell. Having written and adapted over 60 children’s plays worldwide, Wood’s passion for the theatre art form has not waned. He says, ìThe attitude shown towards children’s theatre by everyone - the public, the theatrical profession, critics and funding bodies, still relegates it to the second division rather than hailing it as the exciting and groundbreaking art form it can be.î Come and have your prejudices overturned. On the East Coast, Edinburgh theatres seem to be only too happy to aim for that goal of exciting and groundbreaking children’s theatre. While you can see all the classic Christmas favourites like The Snowman at the Festival Theatre (13 - 30 December), and others, a couple of theatres are boldly venturing into unknown territories with the aim to inspire young minds and refresh older ones. The Traverse Theatre sees the Licketyspit Theatre Company’s production of Green Whale by

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

GLASGOW CLUB REVIEWS DEATH DISCO

THE ARCHES, GLASGOW, NOV 18

by Sean McNamara

FOUR TO THE FLOOR IS LEFT AT THE DOOR AS GLASGOW’S FAVOURITE DEATH DISCO BECOMES A CLUBBING HEAVYWEIGHT.

fter the resurgence of da nce music cu lt u re in the late 1990s, the early pa r t of t h is m i l len n iu m s aw ma ny of t he bigger club s h it t i ng a mu s ic a l rut in terms of ideas, style, a n d a d ve n t u r e . A t t h e A r c he s i n Gl a sgow t h i s could be seen within the main three nights of Inside Out, Pressure and Colours rotating similar DJs and charging more than ever. Many smaller nights come and go at the Arches, failing to pull in the crowds, but in 2003 a group of Arches staff set up Death Disco, a club with better fortunes that has just reached its fourth birthday. The night was originally set up by then Operations Manager T i e r na n Ke l ly w it h ot he r Arches workers. Since leaving the Arches, Tiernan continues t o b e t he m a i n p r o mo t e r behind the night, which he explained was first inspired by a trip to Berlin to WMF in 2000: “Jazzanova were in one room, there was a local resident playing electro in the other, but Kid 606 and Blectum from Blechdom were also playing live. It was something crazy like 8 Euros to get in. So, at the point where Death Disco started the aim was to create somet h i ng ver y Eu rop ea n, with edgier live acts, and a cheap door price that was far removed from the overpriced club prices at that point.” Even after spending ten minutes

at the club you can tell it has something different; the dark surroundings of the A rches may be the same but the music a nd crowd have a d i f ferent atmosphere, and it’s not about superstar DJs either. “We are currently lucky in that people put more faith in the DD name than who is playing,” clarifies Tiernan Kelly, “which is every promoter’s ideal situation to be in. This in turn allows me to take more chances with who I book; hence more money can be spent on production and visuals.”

for,” continues Tiernan, “Our unofficial motto is ‘Hot Beats, G o o d T i m e s’ ( p r o n o u n c e d in a dodgy European accent), it’s about great music of any genre and good old fashioned hedonism.” This music policy, or lack of it, is embodied in the styles of the resident DJs. A lthough the club has had memorable nights with crowd favourites Mylo, Erol Alkan and Belgian duo The Glimmers, the night is always warmed up by the wonderful DJ Mingo-go,

who has been resident since the beginning. She has built a solid reputation for her unique style; “She plays the first hour every night, and I leave her to play what she wants. Jill is my DD barometer – if you don’t like what she plays, or at least don’t respect the fact that she is someone with an enormous record collection, has an exhaustive knowledge of music, and is most importantly a genui ne music fa n, then you aren’t the type of person I want in the club,” asserts Tiernan. The club has two new residents recruited from behind the bar, Johnny and Kirsty, who are also known as The Manhattan Project. The night now has the popularity of the ‘big three’ but is still keeping it’s feet on the ground where prices are concerned for its regulars. “If you sign up to the mailing list it’s only six pounds to get in to Death Disco, but you’d be surprised at the amount of people still paying full price,” Tiernan advises. The popularity looks set to continue and as Tiernan summed up perfectly: “It’s an alternative environment for the straight, gay and not-sure-yets to drink, dance, flirt, and look glamourous in!”

THE NEXT DEATH DISCO IS ON DEC 16 WITH THEIR XXXMAS PARTY WITH EROL

In terms of the music at the night, eclecticism is the flavour and the musical buffet offers a little something for everyone: “I’ve ver y much reacted to what the crowd are looking

CLUB PREVIEWS

ALKAN, CAJUAN, DJ MINGO-GI DEATH DISCO XXXMAS PARTY EROL ALKAN, CAJUAN, AND DJ MINGO GO. 10.30PM-4AM, £12. GET HALF PRICE PASSES AT WWW. DEATHDISCO.INFO WWW.THEARCHES.CO.UK WWW.DEATHDISCO.INFO

Never a dull moment was to be found as the Death Disco madness gathered together the cool, crazy, weird, wonderful and pretty much anyone else who wanted to at their fantastic fourth birthday. The night was a ﬁtting tribute and celebration of the previous years with one of the best and certainly busiest nights of its history. With beats coming from everywhere, from the rarely opened studio room right through to the packed café bar, there was plenty to choose from and some great DJing performances. Linus Loves played an awesome set of electro and minimal techno in the main arch, followed by the excellent Mylo, while the small arch saw equally brilliant sets from Mingo-go and The Glimmers amongst others. With so much going on and so much music it was impossible to catch everything even though it was hard not to want to. A party to remember and only a month till the next one! [Sean McNamara]

EVIL NINE

CHEW THE FAT!, THE SUB CLUB NOV 17 The Sub Club is still just light enough to see your hand in front of your face if you really strain your eyes, but its’ better to just close them and listen. The bass-shaking, tech-edged sounds of Defcon 1 and resident Bradley C were a rolling, thundering juggernaut, dipping into the best of recent Nu-Skool releases fromFinger Lickin’, Marine Parade and of course Fat! itself. Evil Nine announced their entrance bwith the heavy bass tone of ‘Crooked’ and the whole crowd started jumping, as they began a rollercoaster set of tough, liquid breaks. The techno tendencies began to grate slightly - it would have been nice on this birthday night to hear some more classic Fat! material from the early days, but who can complain? Brighton’s deadly duo rocked the joint and lef t the place sweaty. Here’s to nine more years. (Bram Gieben) WWW.THEFATCLUB.COM

Distracted (SSS) by Morna Pearson is an impressively pointed script, an inter-generational character exploration set on a caravan park. The text suffers from a common difficulty in dramatic narrative, though: the awkward introduction of key events from the past, outside the audience’s frame of reference. Genuine dramatic developments are best for this; flashbacks can work; flat recollections by characters, as here, are too common and tell us little. Another strong, flawed piece is David Priestley’s White Point ( ), in which banality is stretched beyond breaking point to present affecting characters. The piece’s principal achievement is in the way dialogue that is not so much ‘everyday small-talk’ as ‘everyday smalltalk of the TV soap variety,’ is revealed through lasting subtleties to be a useful insight into the way we talk and think.

impressive Lorne Campbell). This unusual approach to commissioning was highlighted by the most successful staging of the Cubed festival, Remix, as performed this evening by Dan Williams ( ). This ambitious project saw sound and lighting ‘mixes’ of the three Tilt plays performed and improvised live. It was an eerie, comic, challenging composition that reflected impressively back on the original scripts (which ended up being cut and pasted into new, agglomerated shapes), and the talent of the actors involved. It is surprising, and disheartening, what is classed as ‘experimental’ in theatre these days. Highway Diner, the accomplished company who have work-shopped and scripted 15 Minutes ( ), do make good use of physical theatre elements, as well as some realityquestioning tropes, but this is hardly ground-breaking stuff (as many would have you believe). A plastic surgery tale about a girl turned into Marilyn Monroe, 15 Minutes is nevertheless an entertaining production by a troupe who continue to have much to offer. [RJ Thomson] RUN FINISHED

THE SKINNY ...IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF CLUB RE-

VIEWERS IN THE GLASGOW AREA! THE CITY’ S CLUB LIFE IS BIGGER, BUSIER AND MORE FUIL OF PEOPLE THAN THAT OF EDINBURGH, AND YET EVERY MONTH WE STRUGGLE TO REVIEW THE BULK OF NIGHTS THAT HAPPEN. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN FREE GUESTLIST PLACES, VALUABLE JOURNALISTIC EXPERIENCE, AND THE CHANCE TO INTERVIEW LOCAL DJS AND PRODUCERS IN 2007, GET IN TOUCH TODAY! EMAIL BRAM@ SKINNYMAG.CO.UK / ALEXB@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK WITH A SAMPLE REVIEW, OR LOG ON TO WWW.SKINNYMAG.CO.UK AND CLICK ON THE ‘GET INVOLVED’BUTTON.

TECHMAS IV

The ‘Back To Mine’ albums work on the simple principle of imagining a post-club chill out with your favourite DJ; cue reggae, hazy electronica and bong-stinking folk. After Youngsta and Dave Tarrida invented ‘ravestep’ at a recent Kinky Afro, the crowd were treated to Animal Farm’s take on this formula; no slouching haze of exhaustion, just a raucous 4am ﬁst-fuck of nasty drill and bass techno keeping the party jacking. Bouncing around behind his decks, EQ, and grimy Marshall amp was Quail, a grin pasted across his face and showing no sign of stopping at ﬁve in the morning. Along with Lamb and Turtle, Quail makes up the Glasgow-based DJ collective, Animal Farm; three young and talented DJs who have just been awarded a weekly residency at Bloc. It’s not all 220bpm noise, with Lamb searching out the best in minimal house, and Turtle exploring the spectrum of intelligent electro. Apparently even Quail plays nice from time to time and is more inclined towards carefully manipulated minimal techno beats. Along with the residents, there are guests from week to week, usually DJs culled from local promotions like SINE, Inner City Acid and Off The Record, who’ll drop in and spin a few records. With links to other local promoters, Animal Farm’s a great place to check out local talent and the diverse styles place Quail, Lamb and Turtle way above the generic house/techno/electro nights boring the city. [Liam Arnold]

Ollie Teeba rolls into town this time with a crew of cut-up, funky and soulful Ninja Tune types for a second Loose Change. Scrabble in your pockets, dig out the six quid (penniless students and advance bookings) and groove like a loony for five hours. The line-up isn’t entirely confirmed yet, but half The Herbaliser is headlining, Mr. Thing’s doing his thing, and Rob Red Alert brings his massive afro along for a laugh. Mr. Thing’s just dropped an awesome single with ‘Yungun’ and come on, this guy’s got the pedigree of the Scratch Perverts for Christ’s sake! The last time he played The Arches, some booking fool put Ollie in the opening slot and let Boom Monk Ben headline. Either that or he had the last bus to catch and had to leave early. Anyway, after DJ Vadim’s class act in September, we’re all aching for some more Ninja action; a pinch of reggae, a little twist of funk and some damn fine homegrown tunes. It’s the recipe for a fine night. [Liam Arnold]

After three successful Xmas nights in Edinburgh, The Illiterate Funkers aka The Bombsquad Boys are heading west with Techmas to give some of Edinburgh’s ﬁnest talent a chance to rock Glasgow. There will be two rooms offering a variety of 4/4 beats for your listening pleasure. Four hours of solid live techno from established artists will be dropped in the Main Room: feast your ears on a live PA from Acidfairy (recently signed to Drop Base Network, a high profile label based in the USA), Morph (Audiodacity Records), Morphos (Synthetic, React) as well as DJ sets from Iain and Jake from the Bombsquad, Jnr Lazarou (Intonations Records) and Malky Access (Froot, Digital) with 2x Roland 909s. Stu Munro (G8 Crasher) also makes a welcome comeback. Whilst the Main Room will host a number of techno acts, the Back Room will concentrate on all manner of diverse breaks. Techmas 2006 offers DJ sets from a number of Edinburgh players including R-Tech (Froot, Bombsquad), Kenny Breaks (The Institute For Electronic Artists), Bill Spice (Curios, Loop), The Physicist (Synthetic) and Luka (Toaster). Though there may be a few Edinburgh punters out there that are disappointed that the event is to be held in Glasgow this year, one cannot deny that it is a great opportunity for the west coast to get a taste for what talent the east coast really has to offer. It’s only an hour away, Edinburghers so get yourself a bus or train ticket and make a date with The Bombsquad Boys. [Natalie Doyle]

10PM-3AM, £6/8

EERIE, COMIC, CHALLENGING

A scene from Techmas III - messy!

OLLIE TEEBA

LOOSE CHANGE, THE ARCHES, GLASGOW, DEC 15

TRAVERSE CUBED3

The excellent cast for these two plays, presented as part of the Tilt triptych, was the same for each production (as were the stage crew, including as director the increasingly

ANIMAL FARM

BLOC, GLASGOW, EVERY FRIDAY

THEATRE

BEATS Disco-ing All The Way

THE SOUNDHAUS, GLASGOW, DEC 29

£2/£0 B4 12AM, 11PM-3AM JOHN VIRTUE (INNER CITY ACID) IS SCHEDULED FOR FEB 2007

9PM-4AM, £5/3 WWW.MYSPACE.COM/TECHMAS

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

To explain: this piece was submitted anonymously, without even a pseudonym, and therefore the decision was made that printing this without a credit was unfair (and from what little I glimpsed of the piece, this could have been right). Still, though I’ve never had anything quite as good as all that, I did receive some poems – ‘Three Edinburgh Tanka’ – that I greatly enjoyed. I was therefore extremely pleased this month when the writer of those, James Roderick Burns, submitted ‘Five Glasgow Tanka’ some of which you can see below, with the rest online. So, creative writing submissions: often the best part of my day. Keir H

Sex, Drugs and Rocket Science “Every Weirdo in the World is on my wavelength”, Thomas Pynchon once allegedly said. The words ‘alleged’ and ‘reputed’ feature heavily in anything about Pynchon, because he’s the writer with the lowest public profile of them all. We don’t know what he looks like - the last verifiable photographs of him are from the fifties. If he does have a public image, it’s that of a recluse, yet he’s also recently made two cameo appearances on The Simpsons (with a paper bag over his head). The writing – five works with a remarkably unique (and consistent) style written over a 40 year period – is compellingly bizarre, and may colour (or be coloured by) our image of the man himself. Why the feature on Pynchon now? His long awaited sixth book, Against the Day, has just been released.

Pynchon’s writing style is dense, allusive, and extraordinarily distinctive. His bizarre plots involve things like V2 rockets, spying during the height of the British Empire, alligator hunting in the New York sewers, smoking dope (or is it?) with George Washington, and enormous conspiracies. His fictional characters have more daft names than The Skinny’s writing staff. For example: Mike Fallopian, Rev. Cherrycoke, Dennis Flange, Tyrone Slothrop and Genghis Cohen. And you

IAN BRANDON & BRUNO F.K. (TWEEK ME) TWEEK ME IS A NEW NIGHT FROM DJS BRUNO F.K. (MAJESTICA), CHRIS SPENCE AND IAN BRANDON (SPLIT / OBSCENE), SHOWCASING A MIXTURE OF DIFFERENT STYLES, FROM BREAKBEAT AND ELECTRO TO DEEP HOUSE, WITH FREQUENT DETOURS INTO ‘ANYTHING WITH A BAD GROOVE’ (AND THAT’S BAD AS IN BAAAD). THE DUO PHONED IN THIS FESTIVE TOP TEN FOR YOUR DELECTATION... ENJOY.

by Keir Hind

have to pay attention to all of this because it might all be significant to the grand ‘scheme’. But maybe it isn’t. The new book is reputedly more of the same. This is a good thing. Pynchon’s most famous, best, and probably most exemplary book is Gravity’s Rainbow. Featuring literally hundreds of characters, Gravity’s Rainbow takes place over many different story strands, all of which may or may not indicate one or more conspiracies involving governments/cartels/mad scientists/secret societies. In 1974 it was - reportedly - recommended unanimously by the jury for the Pulitzer Prize to win the award itself, but the board who controlled the money - allegedly - refused to pay out, saying the book was “unreadable, turgid, overwritten, and obscene.” Certainly Pynchon does divide opinion. Nobody got the Pulitzer that year, but Gravity’s Rainbow did win the other biggie, the National Book Award. Pynchon typically didn’t show at the ceremony - as far as we know anyway. And now Gravity’s Rainbow is regarded as a classic. Critics are now wondering whether Against the Day will follow suit. What little we know about this new book comes from a press release that

Once logic breaks down, Dawkins can blow his top, such as when he is exasperated by the ability of liberal Christians to dismiss ‘difficult’ elements of the Bible as ‘symbolic’ and yet still to retain belief in the central Christian doctrine of atonement. “Oh, but the story of Adam and Eve was only ever symbolic, wasn’t it? Symbolic? So, in order to impress himself, Jesus had himself tortured and executed, in vicarious punishment for a symbolic sin committed by a nonexistent individual? As I said, barking mad, as well as viciously unpleasant.” Strong stuff, but, as is the case throughout The God Delusion, it is difficult to find fault with Dawkins’ reasoning.

In September 2001, Richard Dawkins delivered the eulogy for the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy author Douglas Adams. He quoted from a brilliant improvised speech that Adams had given at a dinner in Cambridge shortly before his death, part of which is reproduced in the opening chapter of The God Delusion.

What many people do find fault with is Dawkins’ tone, which, as the preceding quote shows, can be abrasive. He is often accused of arrogance, or of being overly aggressive (his nickname among his peers, ‘Darwin’s Rottweiler’, may only be partially complimentary). In his defence, some argue that his style is a healthy sign that he is fully, and personally, invested in his arguments. A quick read of The God Delusion’s preface makes it clear that Dawkins really wants readers to understand what he is saying, and despite the occasionally hectoring tone of the book, Dawkins is, overall, a considerate and encouraging guide.

DAWKINS’ NICKNAME AMONG HIS PEERS, ‘DARWIN’S ROTTWEILER’, MAY ONLY BE PARTIALLY COMPLIMENTARY

“Religion ... has certain ideas at the heart of it which we call sacred or holy or whatever. What it means is, ‘Here is an idea or a notion that you’re not allowed to say anything bad about; you’re just not. Why not? – because you’re not. If someone votes for a party that you don’t agree with, you’re free to argue about it as much as you like; everybody will have an argument but nobody feels aggrieved by it... But on the other hand, if somebody says ‘I mustn’t move a light switch on a Saturday’, you say ‘I respect that.”

ISSUE FIFTEEN

Another objection to Dawkins commonly voiced by his religious opponents is that by refusing their offers of public debate, he fails to follow through on the commitment to dialogue that he alleges in his books. Dawkins has adopted a ‘no-debate’ policy, but his justification for doing so is reason-

December 06

able, since his opponents are in many cases trying to achieve something genuinely insidious. For example, appearing on a stage with members of the Intelligent Design movement, (in Dawkins’ words, ‘Creationism in a cheap tuxedo’), which has the aim of smothering the teaching of evolution in schools risks providing their cause with ‘The oxygen of respectability’. More reasonable critics, such as Marxist literary theorist Terry Eagleton have objected to The God Delusion on the basis that as a non-theologian Dawkins is unqualified to assess the truth-claims that religion makes about the world. “What”, Eagleton asked, “are Dawkins’s views on the epistemological differences between Aquinas and Duns Scotus? Has he read Eriugena on subjectivity, Rahner on grace or Moltmann on hope?” Dawkins would argue, of course, that Rahner on grace is about as relevant to his argument as a (theoretical) genealogy of the unicorn would be to anyone who doesn’t believe in them.

6. MUSAPHIA & MAYHEM – ROCK THE BASS [WHITE

Thomas Pynchon

Pynchon himself wrote, allegedly. Starting just before the turn of the century and moving through until World War One and slightly beyond, Pynchon says “With a worldwide disaster looming just a few years ahead, it is a time of unrestrained corporate greed, false religiosity, moronic fecklessness, and evil intent in high places. No reference to the present day is intended or should be inferred”. The press release also states that “the author is up to his usual business” (good) and that means “stupid songs” (great) and “strange sexual practices” (nice) and “obscure languages” (fair enough) and that “contrary-to-the-fact occurrences occur”, which is all excellent news. The really good news is that this book is out at all, because while Pynchon possesses a singular prose style and an enormous talent, he also publishes far too rarely. The new book is around 1000 pages of dense prose, but on past form it has to be said that it will be worth the considerable effort it will take to read it. (SEE THIS ARTICLE ON WWW.SKINNYMAG.CO.UK FOR ALLEGED FOOTAGE OF POST-50S PYNCHON.)

Christmas is Cancelled... …which you’d think would be a bad thing, but Richard Dawkins might change your mind. Since 1976, Richard Dawkins has combined a career as a working scientist with another as a popular science author and opponent of superstition in all its forms. It was in this last guise that he sat down to write The God Delusion, with the stated aim of “raising consciousness” of atheism as a “brave, splendid” position, which can allow a person to live a “happy, balanced, moral, and intellectually fulfilled” life. The book’s ten chapters are tightly argued, packed with quotes, jokes and anecdotes, and, taken together, could make a marvellously controversial Christmas present for pious relatives.

BEATS

BOOKS Creat ive w r iting submissions: often the best part of my job. The quality is, as you’d expect, extremely variable, but it’s a lways goo d t o see. Mostly I try to give feedback, but some work is inevitably missed in my ever-expanding inbox. Usually the standard is above average, but when I started editing the Skinny Books section I was told by the ex-editor that he had had one submission that was ‘too good’ to print. Now that’s the sort of stuff I want!

WHILE PYNCHON POSSESSES A SINGULAR PROSE STYLE AND AN ENORMOUS TALENT, HE ALSO PUBLISHES FAR TOO RARELY.

LABEL]

A banger of an electro track that will no doubt flood a dancefloor.

7. JAMES ZABIELA – WEIRD SCIENCE [Rennaissance] An infectious breakdown of total funk filtered all over this dj-must-have.

1. BLACK RUSSIAN - CRAZY

[FAKT RECORDINGS]

Sirens, scratching, guitar stabs and a very, very fat bass line.

2. SPANK ROCK - BUMP (SWITCH REMIX) [BIG DADA]

Completely insane remix from Switch with more twists and turns than the A9, and a lot safer to boot.

3. MASTIKSOUL - FUNK MASTER FLEX [Dirty Ego] Nice and funky ass-shaking number with some really nicely filtered beats.

4. DJ MISJAH - ON MY BACK [RERUN] ‘Groove is in the Heart’ sampling stomper by DJ Misjah.

5.THE PRODIGY - VOODOO PEOPLE (PENDULUM REMIX) [XL RECORDINGS] Pendulum breath fresh life into Voodoo People, creating my ultimate ‘one more tune’ (for now).

8. BODYROX – YEAH YEAH (D. RAMIREZ CLUB MIX) [EYE INDUSTRIS] A truly funky electro track, but please, no vocals.

9. HOXTON WHORES – FRIDAY SATURDAY LOVE [HOXTON WHORES]

‘Friday Saturday Love’ rocks and as a dirty electro track, this tune does amazing things with a mixed vocal.

10. FULL FORCE SAMPLER SESSION 2 [CYBER PRODUCTIONS] French label sampler featuring Da Fresh, Baxter Baxter and Alex Orion. One track that stands out is Da Fresh ‘Spaghetti Groove.’

TWEEK ME, PO NA NA, EDINBURGH, 6 DEC, FREE, FRINKS PROMOS ALL NIGHT WWW.TWEEKME.COM

SINGLES/EPS by Michael Gallagher

YING YANG TWINS FT. WYCLEF

live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” The full text of the speech, (linked to in the web version of this article), continues; “…but we have done various things over intellectual history to slowly correct some of our misapprehensions.” The God Delusion is an exciting new step in that slow, but infinitely valuable, process of correction. OUT NOW. THE GOD DELUSION IS PUBLISHED BY BANTAM PRESS. COVER PRICE £20.00 HARDBACK.

D aw k i n s d e d i cates The God Delusion to Douglas Adams a nd r e t u r n s t o his speech in the b o o k ’s c l o s i n g pages, quoting this remarkable passage: “There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world. The fact that we

DANGEROUS (TVT)

PHUNKIN DJS FEAT. PAMELA FERNANDEZ KICKIN THE BEAT 2006 (SATURN RETURN RECORDS)

The Ying Yang Twins latest outing features hip-hop guru Wyclef Jean both producing and providing vocal depth. The single is a voyeuristic ode to a money-grabbing stripper who is, as we are repeatedly told, ‘dangerous’. The track opens with a lovely heavy guitar riff which soon makes way to a sparse but infectious tune. This metal/ rap combination has potential but unfortunately we only hear it a few times. Also disappointing is that we are not treated to any particularly dirty lyrics (even on the ‘dirty’ version), no sexual positions, no explicit fantasies, just boring old sexism. Wyclef’s voice is as unique and arresting as ever and the Twins clearly benefit from his knowhow. The Twins are humorous in their lyrics and ken how to drop a great beat, with Wyclef onboard it’s hard not to see it being a hit. [Luc Benyon]

SEBASTIAN

ROSS ROSS ROSS EP (ED BANGER/F) SebastiAn’s quirky electro beats suck you into a world of frenetic funky toe-tapping and head-nodding actions to rival Flat Eric, while the unusual blend of deep bass notes, sharp vocals and unexpected song endings keep you on the edge. It ventures into somewhat monotonous territory however and you begin to feel that it loses some of its powerful direction, whirring on with what sounds like beeps from every kitchen appliance. Luckily it regains its choppy ‘music destroying itself’ focus, and a few of the tunes even inspire you to head to a huge outdoor rave, lose your mind and dance Peter Crouch stylee. Good tracks to listen out for are the Ross Ross Ross production and Cut Copy’s Going Nowhere remix which has a more enthusiastic dance beat. Definitely one for open-minded electronic lovers. [Lara Moloney]

This kind of music was dull when it was originally played in clubs fifteen years ago. Phunkin DJs seem to think it’s a good idea to impose it on the masses again, as if we havn’t heard enough repetitive beats and meaningless female vocals over the past decade and a half. As the lyrics sing “movin to the beat” you feel like falling asleep - nothing could be more uninspirational than an intro ripped off from ‘Zombie Nation’ by DJs who think using ‘ph’ instead of ‘f’ makes them phat. Give it a rest guys, it’s not phunny anymore. [Luc Benyon]

REPEAT, REPEAT WHY MUST? (SOMA)

Two choice techno/electronica tracks from Repeat Repeat’s four skinny album, ‘Squints.’ Wonky, minimal, and demonstrating a playful approach to rhythms. [Alex Burden]

IGNITION TECHNICIAN

THE DROIDS ARE BACK IN TOWN (ANDROIDS) Pete Simpson and Richard Wilkinson aka Ignition Technician return with the release of ‘The Droids Are Back In Town,’ keeping true to form with ‘Take It Back To The Old Skool’ and the storming ‘Work This Motherfucker’. [Natalie Doyle]

DEEP INC.

EAZY CONTROL (RENEGADE) This week sees the release of Deep Inc’s Eazy Control, a slice of laid-back, tribal tinged drum & bass. The 12” includes two tracks: Eazy Control and Grand Piano. [Natalie Doyle]

ALL SINGLES OUT NOW www.skinnymag.co.uk

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

A WINTER BOOK

by Jasper Hamill

THE SKINNY TALKS WITH “THE GUY ON THE CORNER WITH THE SUPER T” AS HE PREPARES TO TAKE HIS NEW BAND ON THE ROAD.

t’s difficult to imagine anyone less sensitive than the 50 Cents of this world, so it’s still refreshing to meet a genuinely thin-skinned rapper. Tupac may have famously apologised to this mother, but Roots Manuva goes one step further: he’s out and out petrified of her. “My Mum says my music’s an acquired taste,” he says in his deep South London baritone. “She doesn’t like my vulgar metaphors and tells me I use the patois wrong.”

adds in a typically meek, almost apologetic tone, “sometimes I’m a bit guilty of that myself.” He claims that his role is now as an artist. “I’m not one of those dudes that paints pretty pictures of water jugs or apples. I’d fill a room full of pickled gonads, if you know what I mean.” But it’s pretty hard to ever know what he means, so buried in poetic, arcane language are his ideas. All this sense of incoherence and confusion is apt, he claims. “I try to play the role of the guy on the corner with the Super T shouting at passersby. Barbershop conversations inspire me you know?” He compares the If the truth be told, Roots barely swears. Give or take the odd frig, way he shapes, hones and alters his lyrics to the process of sorting he’s genteel compared to most potty-mouthed rappers. “I put out the EQ on a drum machine. A twiddle here, a twiddle there and on a family show man, I want you’ve got it sounding perfect. More to wake people up, get ‘em to “I ALWAYS TRIED TO PROJECT THIS IMAGE OF A GOODY- t roubled now by “the big bad consider the metaphysical.” His man with the pay cheque,” his Pentecostal Christian parents; TWO-SHOES BUT THEN I’D BE UPSTAIRS ON THE SEX LINE.” poetry has lost none of its bite and born in a Caribbean town called humour, nor its sense of outrage. Banana Hole, loom large in his lyrics. He raps about speaking Roots still moves in the same circles, keen to point out that he’s tongues, crafty spliffs on tower block roofs and the insecurities that not mixing with Jay Z. The label that signed him, Big Dada, started come from leaving behind a rigid belief system. But he’s always off as a collaboration between Ninja Tunes and hip hop journalist sanguine, never bitter: “I always tried to project this image of a Will Ashton. He is keen to continue the collaborative approach that goody-two-shoes but then I’d be upstairs on the sex line.” Using marked his early years grafting at the bottom of a UK hip-hop scene regret and self-depreciation, he paints in a palette that poets, not that barely existed. Now he plays with heavyweights like Coldcut rappers, would recognize. and Leftfield, and is impressed by improvisers The Bays. “I wanted to go on stage with them,” he says before bashfully admitting, “But I This approach has obviously brought him success and the money got too drunk and had to be taken home.” He claims to have shaken gains that come with it. He started out flogging his records from a off the paranoia and psychosis that lingered around his cannabis suitcase, armed with a waterpistol and pretending to hold people taking days, penitent for his wayward times. “I’m cool now, fresh. I up. Money is no impediment to creativity though: “It gives me just wanna keep on shape shifting dialect.” more scope for self-indulgence.” Although he’s keen to point out he’s not some high-rollin’, bling-bling flossing megastar. “I hope people that listen to me will realize that it’s not all about thousand ROOTS MANUVA PLAYS SOUL BISCUITS AT CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH ON pound shoes, designer labels and gold necklaces. Although,” he DEC 9, WITH RICKY RANKIN, REACHOUT & NASTY P. 7PM START, £13 IN ADVANCE.

Photo by Deirdre O’Callaghan

New Year’s Rave! (OR, HOGMANIA!) THERE’S SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE ACROSS BOTH CITIES THIS HOGMANAY, FROM BURLESQUE TO SWING TO HOUSE by Karen Taggart AND TECHNO. READ ON TO FIND OUT WHICH CLUB TICKLES YOUR FANCY...

n Ed i nbu rg h, t he Vegas ! Gra nd Hog ma nay B a l l (Edinburgh College of Art, £33.00, 10-5am) is always a sell-out, and this year’s showstopping event will feature a rare performance by The Loveboat Big Band (16-piece swing orchestra), plus burlesque performances and the ultra glamorous Vegas Showgirls. Music featured on the night will include rat-pack mob hits, hepcat swing, jazz and lounge. If you’re looking to have it large in Leith, get down to Bring In The House (Ocean Terminal, £30.00, 9-5am). Presented in association with Edinburgh-favourite Progression and the legendary Ministry of Sound’s 15th anniversary tour, Bring in the House promises to be a spectacular explosion of funky house. With Sebastian Ingrosso, Chris Lake, Dipesh Parmer, Derek Martin plus many more spinning the decks this is a must. Another night, known for attracting a “clued-up crowd of hedonists” is Ultragroove (Cabaret Voltaire, time and price tbc), who will be ably joined by Solescience and residents Gareth Somerville and Nick Yuill in the backroom, providing funky house, techno and electro beats to ring in the new year. If you venture into the centre of the city, narrowly avoiding Robbie Williams, head along to Afterdark NYE-07 (Liquid Rooms, £17.00, 11-5am). Expect great music, a stunning crowd, and an up-for-it atmosphere at one of the capital’s favourite banging house nights. If all this house isn’t really your thing, the mighty Headspin have a tastier offer at The Bongo Club (time and price tbc), promising an eclectic blend of hip-hop, funk, soul, beats and breaks guaranteed to get you moving until the late hours of the morning. However, if it’s cheesy tracks and even cheesier dancing you’re after, then get down to Vibe’s Hogmanay 2007 Mega Party (eGo, £15/£20, 11-5am) to celebrate in style with special guests Alan Cross and The Lillets. If you’re looking for shameless fun and frolics then this is the place to be - gay or not, you’re guaranteed a laugh and a good time. Perhaps one of the most glamorous nights on offer is the Departure Lounge Hogmanay Special at The Caves (pictured, The Caves, £20) featuring live funk, afrobeat and latin percussion from The Edinburgh Samba School, Moishe’s Bagel and Roots Rising, plus DJ sets from residents Cammy and Astrobuy, plus the return of DJ Sidewinder. Book early to avoid missing out on this exclusive The Edinburgh Samba School will be ringing in 2006 at Departure Lounge party!

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

in the early nineties amidst sell-out clamour from the hardcore punk community; their sales slump ten years later with the boom of grunge To v e J a n s s o n and punk’s second return long was an unlikely gone; and their surprise career reliterary star: her vival with the pertinent political conMoomins were science of 2004’s American Idiot melancholy hipalbum. Spitz’s upbeat text breezes popotamusalong at a cracking pace and while like characters, little insight is of fered, perhaps her books that is due to there being little to were written in gain. As an “official” biography, no Finnish, and the happiest times of criticism of Green Day is broached. her life were spent on an isolated They are latterday saviours of punk, rock in the Pellinki islands. And yet they only signed to a major label so despite – or because of – all this, as to more easily spread the word, Jansson’s children’s books are they know about “alienation” and among the most beautiful works “isolation”, etc, etc. Where the book of the Twentieth Century. Her adult triumphs is in the opening chapfiction is much less well known, ters dealing with the San Francisco largely out of print or untranslated. punk scene which spawned them; A Winter Book is therefore a wel- which included some immortal band come anthology of Jansson’s “best names such as Vomit Launch, Nasal loved” short fiction, edited and in- Sex and I Am The Hamster. [Euan troduced by Ali Smith. There are Andrews] no Moomins, no Hattifatteners, but OUT NOW. PUBLISHED BY LITTLE, BROWN. as Philip Pullman remarks in an af- COVER PRICE £16.99. terword these are stories “tough as good rope”, autobiographical tales with all of the stubbornness, wonder and loneliness that characterised GUY DESLISLE her fantastical characters. ‘Parties’, for example, is all glow and laughter – a splendid depiction of the par- A work colleague ties hosted by Jansson’s sculptor invites the ar tfather and illustrator mother, with ist Guy Delisle a hint of the bittersweet. The same to dinner at his is true of ‘Annie’, where Jansson home. Delisle writes about the family servant with a r r i ve s a t t h e the same name; a friend with “hair door and steps like luscious rough grass”. Stories inside the house like ‘The Squirrel’ meanwhile are un- to take a look flinching sketches of the author’s around. But what is there to see? old age, and a fine counterbalance “There is no decor. The hospitalto works like ‘The Iceberg’, as eerie green walls are neon-lit. It’s totally and magical as the Northern Lights. bare” except for a poster tacked Though some pieces are not nearly onto the wall, “a photograph of a so strong, A Winter Book is in large French-style table setting, with litpart exceptional: works that speak tle plates nested in bigger ones, a of all the richness of Jansson’s inner porcelain tureen, silver cutlery. All life. [Sean Michaels] things you never see here. It must OUT NOW. PUBLISHED BY SORT OF seem so exotic to him.” ‘Here’ is BOOKS. COVER PRICE £6.99. the city of Shenzhen in southern China; the colleague who can only dream of a French dinner-set is a Chinese national, locked into a reMARC SPITZ strictive life under an authoritarian regime; and the dinner-set is ‘exotic’ because although it is tantalizingly In which a trio out of reach right now, it becomes of adorable gradually more reachable with each corporate punk passing day as the massive Chinese misfits conquer economy continues to swell. the world, save the kids and try Having lived and worked in China to make it clear almost a decade ago, Delisle, an they’re for REAL. animator by trade, turned to writThis slim volume, ing and illustrating the graphic a kind of ‘My First Rock Biography’ novel Shenzhen to chronicle the for the youthful audience it is ob- Purgatorial push-and-pull of everyviously aimed at, tells the story of day life in the city that serves as the Green Day’s swift rise to pop fame communist country’s main trading TOVE JANSSON

n Glasgow meanwhile, at Club Noir: Hogmanay The History of Burlesque (The Classic Grand, £20/£25, 10-4am) a glittering, glamorous array of stripteasers, vaudeville acts and ceilldh music will be on show, with retro sounds from the resident DJs. Before the bells a one-off show will be performed by Noir’s excellent artistes, giving a masterclass on the history of burlesque. A strict dress code will be in force - with punters encouraged to “cast off your inhibitions; glam, fetish, drag, vintage”. If non-stop dancing is more your scene than six hours of eye candy, Hogmanay Hootenanny 3 (Soundhaus, £tbc, 9-5am) features a line-up of residents from all their regular nights, including Inner City Acid, Pussypower and Off The Record, with rumours of a band room focusing on electronic acts with traditional instrumentation. Expect a variety of musical styles ranging across the spectrum from techno, electro, breaks and drum and bass, with a free drink and a rogues gallery, so that regulars can cringe at their various states of 2006 being proudly displayed on the wall! If it’s simply house you’re after in Glasgow, head along to superclub The Arches, for a night of dark, funky house beats, from the Inside Out crew (£25, 9-4pm). Featuring Agnelli and Nelson, Matt Hardwick, Adam Sheriden, Kutski and Sean Tyas this will be a massive night. Or pop round to the Sub Club, where Subculture presents Hogmanay 2006 with Metro Area (Environ, New York) and a DJ set by Darshan Jesrani (£20, 105am). But if you want to see in 2007 by blowing out your eardrums with hardcore, get down to the Back to ALL TICKETS ON SALE AT THE the Future extra special party (The USUAL OUTLETS (RIPPING Carling Academy, £23/£20, 7pm til RECORDS, TICKETS SCOTLAND) late), featuring QFX, Neophyte and OR FROM THE CLUBS Bass Generator, and as it starts early THEMSELVES. SOME PRICES/ you’ll be able to party hard all night! TIMES STILL TO BE CONFIRMED See you next year if you aren’t all AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS. clubbed out!

Happy New Year from the BEATS team! www.skinnymag.co.uk

SHENZHEN

NOBODY LIKES YOU

post with the capitalist West. But it’s a place where more than material goods are traded, as time and again Delisle finds himself not in China, but in some disjointed netherworld where dozens of cultures overlap and intersect, as at one point when a Chinese man is so eager to converse in English with the Quebecois author that when Delisle switches to French to avoid the conversation the other man fails to notice this change to a language he can’t even understand. With clean, simple and spare illustrations, and an eye for capturing the quirky and telling moments of ordinary life that transcend the barriers of culture and language, Delisle employs the graphic form to its full effect in Shenzhen. He shows us something insightfully true about this alien place, in a simple way that nonetheless goes beyond simple words. [Daniel Wood] OUT NOW. PUBLISHED BY JONATHAN CAPE. COVER PRICE £14.99 HARDBACK.

PYONGYANG

sues a nationwide decree to supplement the Communist symbols of the hammer and sickle with the added symbol of an artist’s paintbrush, but it’s another, far more sinister thing when a tour guide happily informs Delisle that physical perfection is a congenital trait here, and that’s why there are absolutely no disabled people anywhere, at any time, in Kim’s glorious Communist utopia. Reading between the lines of these scenes is to see how the overbearing paranoia of Kim’s dictatorship so completely deprives his people of any comfort in life that their despairing reality twists into an almost laughable dreamworld. One absurdity piles on top of another and another; and Delisle is left to just stand by and gawk at it all, as is the reader – mute and bewildered spectators fascinated by this cartoon nation, shaking heads in dismay, wondering how something so unashamedly ridiculous can actually be so chillingly real. {Daniel Wood] OUT NOW. PUBLISHED BY JONATHAN CAPE. COVER PRICE £12.99 PAPERBACK.

GUY DESLISLE

In the years following his stay in Shenzhen, Guy Delisle took a new job as an animator in North Korea. His follow-up graphic novel Pyongyang chronicles his time in probably the most authoritarian country in the world, truly a galaxy away from China even though the two nations share a political system and a border. Under the rule of the irascible Kim Jong-Il, the citizens of North Korea must wear compulsory badges depicting either Kim himself or his beloved father and predecessor, Kim Il-Sung, the Eternal Leader of North Korea whose death ten years ago still can’t stop him from holding the presidency; while the dead leader is further commemorated by a 22-metre high bronze sculpture that towers godlike over Pyongyang, and a life-sized wax replica in the national museum that inspires tears of joy in all the proud patriots who lovingly gaze upon him. Needless to say, as in Shenzhen, Delisle’s cultural isolation shapes his amusingly absurd impressions of his host country in Pyongyang. But this time the isolation has a sinister streak that will leave conflicted feelings about whether or not it’s right to be amused at all. It’s one thing when Kim Jong-Il reinvents himself as a master of the fine arts and is-

FUN HOME ALISON BECHDALE

Alison Bechdel is most famous for her syndicated comic strip soap opera Dykes to Watch Out For, a gentle and amusing exploration of queer America. Fun Home, however, reflects on her problematic relationship with her father - a far more serious and emotive subject. Her narrative jumps between times and places, re-interpreting events and meditating on her father’s life and personality: the subtle prose and clear ar twork gradually reveals the complexity of his character and their relationship. Although her story is neither exploitative nor sensational, the cumulative impact is moving and profound - mature and graceful, it is respectful without flinching from her father’s negative qualities. Bechdel refuses to define her father in simplistic terms - she reflects on his closeted homosexuality, his bad temper and his obsession with home decoration whilst acknowledging his acts of kindness and support. Her relationship to him becomes a metaphor for her own emotional growth, as she grapples with her own sexuality and maturity. The ambiguity of

PAPERBACK.

THE NO.2 GLOBAL DETECTIVE TOBY CLEMENTS

Conceptually similar to his last nove l The Asti Spumante Code, which parodied that revered classic The Da Vinci Code, Toby Clements’ latest novel, The No. 2 Global Detective Agency, follows the trail of young Oxford tutor Tom Hurst as he searches for clues to a murder most foul, jumping through worlds of different crime writers with each country he visits. Sounds pretty mad? Well budding crime writers take note... the story nicely parodies the work of four contemporary greats of crime writing: home-grown favourites Ian Rankin and Alexander McCall-Smith, Swedish writer Henning Mankell and Patricia Cornwell, the American crime writer known for her forensic fictions (and for believing she’d solved the case of Jack the Ripper). Successful parody is difficult to achieve in that it relies on being able to perfectly match the original while at the same time ripping the thing to shreds, but Clements is able to mimic and mock each of the writing styles in turn perfectly, in a slick and self-referential manner, making for a humorous, if totally farcical tale.

“All the material in this book is guaranteed to be old,” writes Terry Gilliam in one of the book’s many prefaces, “not a single new joke or idea has been sacrificed for this tome.” This is doubly true when you discover that The Very Best of Monty Python is in fact a repackaged omnibus edition of 2000’s A Pocketful of Python. What a complete and utter scamalot. Nonetheless, the wit of Python is timeless and certainly puts Catherine Tate and the new series of Bo’ Selecta! into perspective. Particularly pleasing is the chance to examine the drawings from Gilliam’s animation sequences which can fly by too quickly on the TV series to appreciate their uniquely strange artistry. Similarly, the song lyrics are printed here, and there are plenty of bookspecific jokes.

Sadly, some of the sketches lose their magic when reduced to script form. Unless read exactly how the Pythons deliver their lines, many of the jokes fall flat and read more akin to an office bore trying to explain the gist of a great comedy sketch he saw the previous night. The famous cheese shop skit, with John Cleese removed, becomes just a list of types of cheese. The release is timely, and it’s just the right size to be put inside a Christmas stocking. What a remarkable coincidence. [Robert Westwood]

CREATIVE WRITING FIVE GLASGOW TANKA BY JAMES RODERICK BURNS How wonderful – snow bright and short-lived descending with equal magic on the couple from Iran

OUT NOW. PUBLISHED BY CANONGATE.

under the polar bear’s feet

COVER PRICE £7.99.

and our wide-eyed one year old. * The ice cube explodes in my glass of grain whisky as ice sheets dissolve and I sit twiddling thumbs. * Savour of hotdog and raw woody ink –

EVENTS

circles in the inferno of this bookless passenger.

his characters love. The story of Wimbledon Green is told by various parties (mostly rivals) who all have strong opinions about him, and they’re all presented as correct opinions too, because Green contains multitudes. Daft multitudes, though: he has an autogyro and a faithful manservant in emulation of his comic heroes. Joyously, Green’s tale is fascinating, oddball, and poignant, and often all three - not bad for a funny picture book. [Keir Hind]

DEC 7TH: FREE POETRY READING WITH ANNA CROWE AND ALEXANDER HUTCHISON

OUT NOW, PUBLISHED BY JONATHAN CAPE,

Richly rewarding reading with Rebus writer Rankin. Free, must book.

LIST PRICE £14.99 HARDBACK.

BY ‘MONTY PYTHON’

But this is clearly a book which will only really amuse those who know their Agatha Christie from their P D James, so long as they aren’t afraid to have a bit of a laugh at the expense of clever yet predictable crime stories. [Leo Wood]

Rather good Poetry and creative writing evening at Tchai-Uvna, £2

SETH

www.skinnymag.co.uk

OUT NOW. FUN HOME IS PUBLISHED BY JONATHAN CAPE. COVER PRICE £12.99

DEC 1ST: ‘READING THE LEAVES’

WIMBLEDON GREEN Subtitled ‘The Greatest Comic Book Collector in the World’, this book cleverly bridges the gap between serious graphic novels and the more mainstream superhero comics tradition by looking seriously at the bizarre adventures of comic book collectors. Wimbledon Green himself is the most fascinating of these, but he’s one of a pantheon of driven, backbiting individuals who form a comic collecting elite. Writer and artist ‘Seth’ never really intended this material to form a book, merely doodling the adventures of various obsessives from time to time, as a fun exercise. Gradually this became more serious, and eventually the many and varied fragments formed into a loose plot, which became this book. In some hands this would be self-indulgent, but thankfully this book retains the zany sense of fun Seth must have had in writing it. The fun comes from the style of the book which is in turn influenced by the old comics Seth and

Although it shares little with other graphic novels, lacking the snappy wit of ‘Dykes...’ and the hip observation or historical drama of other autobiographical comics, Fun Home is unique and passionate. Resonant and personal, it represents a distinctive voice celebrating the potential of a marginalised medium. [Gareth K Vile]

THE VERY BEST OF MONTY PYTHON

and overhanging bosom

TOP

FEATURED BOOK

his death, either a suicide or tragic accident, exemplifies his uncertain presence and influence.

BOOKS

BEATS Manuva’s Poetic Pallette

7pm, Poetry Club, Glasgow School of Art.

* When after an hour you appear in low-key style between the butcher’s and the green neon bar sign my heart empties like a vault.

DEC 13TH: POETRY PAMPHLET

Party and fair at the National Library of Scotland: cheap (but deep) Xmas presents.

In the gilded hall

DEC 13TH: GAELIC CREATIVE WRITING (!)

the meaningless shit

7.30pm at the CCA, for Budding Bards.

DEC 14TH: IAN RANKIN AT THE NATIONAL GALLERY OF SCOTLAND

December 06

I shuck my specs to avoid on the lecture screen, these blank and eloquent marble eyes.

THE SKINNY LIKES CREATIVE WRITING. PLEASE SEND SUBMISSIONS TO: KEIR@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

ISSUE FIFTEEN

“You know you’re riiigghhhgtttt.” Thus wailed Kurt Cobain, on one of the last tracks Nirvana ever recorded. Opinion is a funny thing, and that’s why I’d like to use this editorial to talk about the opinions which you will read in this magaz i ne. There a re some strong viewpoints and harsh criticism in this month’s art section – just as there are throughout all the other sections – and that’s what we at The Skinny are committed to providing: writing which doesn’t pull its punches or chase after what the mainstream bandwagon says is popular. With that said, I’d like to add the following supervention: don’t believe everything you read. Every writer on the Skinny does their best to articulate their true feelings in a review, but receiving our opinions is no substitute for experiencing the work yourself. Visual art in particular can be a highly personal experience, and it would be foolish to take as gospel the subjective criticism of someone you’ve never met. I would like nothing more than to befriend each one of you personally and ply you with hot mugs of cocoa until you believed in our infallibility, but unfortunately we just don’t have the budget. Until we do, I suggest you read the mag, soak up our insights, then hit the streets yourself and see what’s what.

TOP

EXHIBITIONS

1. CONSIDER THE LILLIES AT DEAN GALLERY, EDINBURGH. Works from Dundee’s 20th century art collection.

2. WINSTON ROETH AT INGLEBY GALLERY, EDINBURGH See review this issue. (pictured)

3. CINÉMATHÈQUE DE TANGER / AMONG THE MODERNS AT STILLS GALLERY, EDINBURGH

Figurative work from the collection.

5. LES STONE - VOODOO

AT ST MUNGO MUSEUM,

GLASGOW.

This show has been on for AGES, so stop procrastinating and go see it now! SEE LISTINGS FOR MORE INFO.

Douglas Gordon - Insipidreadful? Trumpeted as one of the world’s most important contemporary artists, Douglas Gordon’s new retrospective, entitled Superhumanatural, attempts to grapple with suitably weighty metaphysical concerns. Life and death, good and evil, time and even reality itself are all given the Gordon ‘treatment’. It’s a big show and these are big issues, but Gordon’s preoccupation with duality has produced a retrospective that is frustratingly uneven. At its worst, Gordon’s art is glib, hackneyed and painfully one-dimensional. Nevertheless, its variety and scope make this an event that you dare not miss out on. Occupy i ng th ree venues i nside the Roya l Botanical Garden - as well as the RSA itself there was always the chance that Gordon’s work was going to be spread too thin. Sure enough, his transformation of Inverleith house, entitled ‘Pretty much every word written, spoken, heard and overheard from 1989 until now…’ is an interminable, overblown exercise in banality. Born from his desire to ‘turn a house into a book’, the artist has haphazardly pasted chunks of text onto almost every surface in the venue. Cornball text-bites such as “…bad is good/bad is god/good is the sun/god is bad” find Gordon engaging with the idea of duality at the level of an angsty sixthformer, whilst legends such as “every time you think of me, you die a little” are nothing short of cringe-worthy. Certain critics have spoken vaguely about the rooms creating a ‘sense of unease’, but even this faint praise is more than the work deserves.

[Jay Shukla] Cedar Landscape by Winston Roeth

LES STONE - VOODOO two decades documenting Voodoo rituals in Haiti, uses celebratory scenes of communal gathering as well as more sinister images of anguish and fear to represent a community which has been notoriously misrepresented in the past. Yet his glossy images are equally visually appetising. His use of a sharp focus intensifies the vibrant reds and oranges worn by the worshipers, which along with his often comic approach, allows the pictures to be enjoyed for their artistic merit as well as their photojournalistic value. [Suzanne Hart] ST MUNGO’S MUSEUM OF RELIGIOUS LIFE AND ART, GLASGOW UNTIL 14TH JANUARY 2007. FREE.

The word Voodoo most likely conjures notions of black magic, zombies and dolls you can stick pins in. However, like the mystic Voodoo religion there is more to Stone’s series of anthropological photographs than instantly meets the eye. Held within a furnace-hot room (an added special effect or a liberal approach to central heating?) the exhibition features fiery pictures of native Haitians, which are juxtaposed against the traditional stained glass windows of St Mungo’s. This forms a nice parallel between the Voodoo rituals on display and the Christian customs which Voodoo worshipers incorporate into their religious practices. The images work on both an educational and aesthetic level. Stone, who spent over

by Jay Shukla

A fascinating video library of the Arab world.

4. BODY LANGUAGE AT GOMA, GLASGOW

In an annexe of this building is an installation entitled ‘Plato’s Cave’ in which we are invited to stand around a single flickering flame and contemplate our own ignorance – if we can stand the stench inside the room that is. Seemingly Gordon intends to flush us out into the daylight of enlightenment using nothing more than olfactory violence. Ingenious. The final piece in the gardens is situated in Caledonian Hall and has been titled ‘Between Darkness and Light (After William Blake)’. Here we find Gordon at his most explicit, simultaneously projecting The Exorcist and The Song of Bernadette onto opposing sides of a translucent screen with the intention (according to the exhibition guide) of evoking “the struggle between the forces of good and evil.” More than his lazy appropriation of other people’s work, what is most distressing is the triviality of Gordon’s conceit. Although the viewer’s imagination is readily able to synthesise dramatic overlap between the two narratives, there is simply nothing engaging about this piece – a fact born out by the rows of empty seats which I observed during my visit. To claim that Gordon is questioning the nature of authorship and authenticity is simply not good enough, and to do so would be little more than limp rationalisation. It is in the RSA that Gordon’s most interesting work is to be seen, and here, at least, there is something for us to get our teeth into. Two banks of television screens flank the top of the main stairs, each showing one of Gordon’s video works, together comprising ‘Pretty much every film and video work from about 1992 until now.’ Works such as ‘A Divided Self I and II’ – which features

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

THE HOUSE OF TECHNO THE D&B CURRICULUM First up in the ‘Burgh, Solescience meet Sugarbeat - guests are DJ Yoda with his full live audio-visual show, and electro-funk legend Greg Wilson (Cabaret Voltaire, Dec 8, £10). Meanwhile Darren Emerson, Underwater Records chief and former Underworld band member, returns to the capital for a one-off No Strings Attached (Liquid Room, Dec 9, £14). And when it comes to Hogmanay, get your arse to the NYE parties at Stereotype (Berlin, £TBC) or JakN (Studio 24, £TBC). Top local house and techno for £15. Meanwhile in Glasgow... one of Spain’s top techno/house producers Alex Under guests at Freq for a full 2 hour live set (Sub Club, Dec 15, £10). Optimo’s sporadic Black Rabbit Whorehouse side-project returns to present a yet-to-be-announced guest, at what’s rumoured to be its last-ever night (Classic Grand, Dec 15, £TBC). And for a Hogmanay you’ll remember for a long time, don’t consider going anywhere but Numbers, with special guests the genre-crunching, cap-wearing, speaker-destroying funsters Modeselektor live (Art School, £TBC). [Tom Donohue]

Christmas is coming and the Beats are definitely getting fat. December rolls out another month of bass and closes a fine year of D&B. On 1 Dec your festive frolics start with a liquid appetiser at the City Café and the finger lickin’ ﬂavours of Codenine (they appear back there on the 15th & 29th and its free!). Following that is the launch of Edinburgh’s newest night, Sequential, at Studio 24. For the launch there are no holds barred as Baron makes a visit to the capital along side new resident Slow Motion Ninja (£10, 10.30pm – 3am). Next up, on Friday 15th, is the long awaited Scottish debut of the Dutch trio, Noisia, who are sure to arrive all guns blazing at the Bongo Club door. Support for this event comes courtesy of a Back-toBack set between E.N.O & Paul Reset alongside GT and MC’s BZ & Tonn Piper (11pm–3am). Saturday 23th takes us to Club Ego where Obscene is smashing it down with an end of year residents’ bash (11pm–late). Finally, our year of D&B closes with the second Sequential instalment on 29 Dec at Studio 24, featuring Technique Recordings’ head honcho Simon ‘Bassline’ Smith with an exclusive two hour set (£10, 10.30pm–3am). [Jonny Ogg]

THE HIP-HOP BULLETIN

Mirror Blind Greta by Douglas Gordon

a person’s arms wrestling against each other – once again showcase the artist’s preoccupation with duality. The works, ranging from the crass to the profound, combine to form a dense emotional aggregate - this piece is undoubtedly one of the highlights of the show. ‘Play Dead; Real Time’, which occupies the main gallery, is another engaging work. Here, on two huge screens, we see an elephant playing dead, before slowly rising into movement. There is grace and a certain poignancy in the animal’s performance, but the most intriguing footage is to be found on one smaller screen to the side of the gallery. Here the camera focuses on the elephant’s eye, examining its tiny size in relation to the animal’s unwieldy frame, and creating an unusual, strangely unsettling emotional response in the viewer. There is a simple, undeniable articulacy about this piece that throws into relief the obvious contrivances of much of Gordon’s other work. A series entitled ‘Blind Stars’, which fills much of the next gallery, perfectly illustrates the artist’s frustrating inconsistency. Gordon has removed the eyes from images of celebrities and replaced them with mirrors in order to make a point about the nature of identity and desire. This is a monumentally unsuccessful piece: laboured, dull and really quite condescending – this is the kind of thing Gordon should have got out of his system at art school. There is more work to see than I have had space to mention, and despite its many flaws I have no hesitation in recommending this show. Thankfully there are just enough moments of lucidity and thoughtfulness to justify the time necessary to take everything in. Let’s hope that Gordon discovers how to edit his output in time for his next retrospective. SUPERHUMANATURAL AT RSA AND ROYAL BOTANICAL GARDEN EDINBURGH UNTIL 14 JANUARY 2007. ENTRANCE TO RSA IS £6 (£4). ENTRANCE TO BOTANICAL GARDENS IS FREE.

Image by Les Stone

BEATS

ARTS

AT ITS WORST, GORDON’S ART IS PAINFULLY ONE-DIMENSIONAL

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Think global or act local is the big question this Xmas, as Glasgow’s headz are offered the chance to blow their Christmas bonuses on big names like The Roots (Carling Academy, Dec 17, 7pm, £17.50) and The Game (Carling Academy, Dec 6, 7pm £25). On the ﬂip side, a quarter of the price of The Game gets you into the Soundhaus for 8 Mile, local legends Steg G and the Freestyle Master, and a host of other live acts (Soundhaus, Dec 1, 10.30pmlate, £5/£7). Loose Change (Arches, Dec 15, £6/£8) does exactly what it says on the tin, giving us the Grand King Herbaliser, Ollie Teeba, Rob Red Alert and the delightful Mr. Thing for just over a fiver. At that price, you could take your granny along for an early Xmas present. It’s the thought that counts, after all. If your catholic family’s tribe of siblings has burned up all your cash on Xmas presents and you desperately need a fix, check out Remedy (Dec 5, 7pm onwards, £2 before 12am/£3) in The Venue, Oran Mor. This new night’s developing a sound following, and

although it’s just resident DJs spinning hip-hop, the venue’s classy and the tracks are a good mix of oldschool, psychedelic and commercial stuff, with the odd homegrown track in there. Over in the ‘Burgh, We Are Electric gives the local Trouble DJs a room of their own along with MC Santa on the 20th (Cabaret Votaire, £tbc, 11pm-3am) winning awards for worst seasonal-themed title. Big Toes Hi-Fi takes on the Glasgow noise machine of Bass Warrior Sound System in the Wee Red Bar on the 15th, promising bass-heavy riddims, a smattering of skanking dub and just a sprinkling of hip-hop beats (Wee Red Bar, Free before 11.30pm. £5/£4 after). And finally, make sure you checkout Sileni Bannermans (Dec 15, free, 9pm-late). These snarly Patton-esque vomit-rap MC’s spew forth inspired bizarre beat-styled monologues on the subject of everything and nothing and sound like absolutely nothing you’ve ever heard before. [Liam Arnold]

TECHMAS @ SOUNDHAUS, Dec 29, £5/£3 members

TWEEK @ PO NA NA, Dec 6, £0

The third Techmas par ty is moving through to Glasgow for six hours of techno and breaks from Acid Fairy (live), Kenny Breaks, Junior Lazarou, Luka, Malky, Morph (live), Morphos (live), R-Tech, and Bill Spice.

Bruno F-K and Ian Brandon return for a free night of breaks, techno, electro, house and whatever takes their fancy! Pyz (Split / Access)and Ibrahim (Dogma/ Split/Fat Mess) will be joining the fray.

PRESSURE @ THE ARCHES, Dec 29, £20 (adv.)

It does what it says on the tin, branching out to house, techno, minimal and more ‘eclectic nonsense’ with DJ Quirky.

King of techno Derrick May will rounding off a night of varied techno from Magda, Radioactive Man (live), Lee Van Dowski, Quenum (live), Steve Bug, and Slam.

CLUB NOIR @ CLASSIC GRAND, Dec 31, £20 b4 Xmas Eve/£25 after Not quite club music, but a dance event like they used to hold. That’s if Golden Oldies, swing and pop was played at your grandmother’s fetish parties. With DJ Loveless and ‘The Story of Burlesque’.

DEATH DISCO @ THE ARCHES, Dec 16, £12 Erol Alkan returns to The Arches for more blended electro, acid house and indie, with support from Cajuan, DJ Mingo-go and Silent Disco in the Playroom.

LOOSE CHANGE @ THE ARCHES, Dec 15, £6/8 Jack Wherry (Herbaliser), First Rate (Scratch Perverts), Boom Monk Ben, and Rob Red Alert (Fabric) secure the main arch, while the Playroom is filled by with Renaissance Records, Shizzle, and DJ Ironik.

ATLANTIS @ SUB CLUB, Dec 30, £tbc The pre-cursor to Slam’s career was a weekly night called Atlantis that finished twelve years ago, and it’s been resurrected for a very special re-visit to the club that started it all.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

ECLECTRO @ WEE RED BAR, Dec 15, £4 b4 12am/£5

MR SCRUFF @ CABARET VOLTAIRE, Dec 15, £11 (adv.)/£13 The fish and tea-obsessed Mr Scruf f makes a welcome return to Edinburgh for what will no doubt be another sell-out gig.

SEQUENTIAL @ STUDIO 24, Dec 29, £10 Simon ‘Bassline’ Smith (Technique Recordings) will be dropping the jungle, and need we say it, drum & bass, with Slowmotion Ninja (Alphabreaks).

SOLESCIENCE @ CABARET VOLTAIRE, Dec 29, £3 (adv.) Residents Rob Mathie and Nick Yuill take control of the decks for a retrospective of house in 2006 and special guest Grant Maclean delivers a Detroit ﬂavour.

DEPARTURE LOUNGE @ THE CAVES, Dec 31, £20 (adv.) A simmering pot of latin, leftfield, funk, samba, and wordly beats to kick off 2007 from Moishe’s Bagel (live), Roots Rising (live), Edinburgh Samba School (live) and DJ sets from Sidewinder and Astroboy with Cammy on percussion.

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

n a l l you ca n eat special is happening at Chez Parent’s and Eastenders w i l l at tempt to pu l l another ‘amazing’ plot twist from twixt their merry bumcheeks. It’s Xmas, oh yes. We’ve got a selection of the best Hogmanay nights in Glasgow and Edinburgh for your delectation. December also sees the return of Arrested Development, re-surfacing after ten years with a new album, Atlantis scheduling a one-off at the Sub Club twelve years after disbanding the night, and Rawkus records dropping a new LP by Panacea. Check out our interview with Roots Manuva, who drawls about “pickled gonad” artistry and why his Mum does not approve of his tunes. Death Disco also celebrate their fourth birthday and reveal why DJ Mingo-go is always right, and we dig the Dirt on Neil Templar (Dogma) and his Dutch project with Hwatsong (Pillbox). We’ll be back in January having shed a few Xmas pounds and pages, but we promise to be just as informative and entertaining! A special thanks goes out to our readers (Either you’re all terribly pleased with us and have no reason to write or you’re vehemently lining your hamster cage with the section!), the writers, and Bram and Ian who make the magazine possible. /Alex

Sunshine in Winter

Bram Gieben

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ARE BACK WITH THEIR POSITIVE VIBES TO RESTORE BALANCE TO HIP-HOP. THE SKINNY SAYS HALLELUJAH.

INTERVIEW

& 6 OF THE BEST

INTERVIEW

FEATURE

& 12” REVIEWS

INTERVIEW

REVIEWS / PREVIEWS

FEATURE

REVIEWS / PREVIEWS

REVIEWS & DJ CHART

A LOOK BACK AT THE YEAR’S HEAVIEST BEATS 49

Producer K-Murdock’s beats are wildly experimental: Panacea successfully mutate the blueprint of hip-hop.

2. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT -SINCE THE LAST TIME (EDE)

AD’s live instrumentation-based approach to hip-hop remains tight - no-one is working harder to promote positivity and happiness in the genre.

3. V/A - TRONIC: NEW WAVE OF ELECTRONIC SOUNDS VOL 1 (TRONIC) Tronic is one of Glasgow’s finest collection of electronic artists. This is a triumphant release.

4. MATHIAS KADEN - SYNKOPE EP (VAKANT)

These three tracks of densely-layered groove fuse avantgarde musical riddles with solid dancefloor beats in a style akin to Chain Reaction’s techno-dub output.

5. V/A - SOMA COMPILATION 2006’ (SOMA)

Sums up what has been an incredible year for Soma, covering all genres of electronica – from twinkly, soft beats to fast, pounding techno.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

Lucy McKenzie’s first solo show in Scotland attempts to encompass the full spectrum of her practice but comes up rather short, painting a picture of the artist as a jack of all trades, but a master of none. McKenzie has been described in the past as a “cultural worker” and much of this exhibition makes reference to Glasgow, the city in which McKenzie lived until recently. Her drawings and watercolours - here presented on a series of screens - depict bars, swimming baths and streets in a childish, laboured graphic style. This is her personal response to the city’s environment, but it’s hard to see past the fact that these drawings are simply embarrassingly bad.

This small, succesful selection of works by the American artist Winston Roeth demonstrates methods of perceiving and experiencing colour through painting. Roeth seems to find the juxtaposition of colour most interesting, and he uses tempera - applied to a variety of different surfaces, such as paper, slate and mdf - to express how we can see a picture space and read an image. In ‘Edinburgh Slate Assembly’ the application of tempera onto seven slate tiles transforms a hard organic medium into velvety smooth blocks of concentrated colour, causing us to consider the

Similar shortcomings threaten to undermine the conceit behind the main installation, a ‘room’ comprised of four canvases upon which McKenzie has painted a series of Art-Nouveau facades by designers such as Mackintosh and Horta. Upstairs, her illustrations for the One O’clock Gun prove that McKenzie can produce expressive, elegant illustrations when the fancy takes her, but her studies of the band Erasure prove that she’s equally capable of utter dross. This is a frustrating exhibition that attempts too much, and does not show McKenzie at her best. [Celia Sontag]

material qualities of the works as well as the relationships between the colours. In ‘Blue Moon’, the dialogue between two colours is also dependent on the picture surface, as it is the changing light within the gallery space that illuminates the iridescent quality of the paint - which is applied in multiple layers, slowly over time. All the works reveal themselves gradually to us, and this requires a kind of ‘slow looking’ to find an understanding of the works beyond their immediate simplicity. It’s definitely worth taking your time though. Roeth quietly communicates a great deal without reducing our think-

TALBOT RICE, EDINBURGH UNTIL 9 DEC. FREE.

Modulator by Winston Roeth

Erasure - Union Street, album artwork by Lucy McKenzie

1. PANACEA - INK IS MY DRINK (RAWKUS)

WINSTON ROETH

Kimono Study by William McCance

BEATS CONTENTS ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT CLUBBING ROUNDUPS ROOTS MANUVA HOGMANAY CLUBS DJ CHART DIRT EDINBURGH CLUBS DEATH DISCO GLASGOW CLUBS ALBUMS BEATS TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2006

LUCY MCKENZIE – TEN YEARS OF ROBOTIC MAYHEM

ARTS

BEATS

The full might of Arrested Development.

few hip-hop myths: it’s always raining in New York, always sunny in LA, and no good rappers come from anywhere but these two cities. The last is the greatest and most pervasive myth, which has seen regional hip-hop overlooked and underpromoted. One band who bucked the trend were Arrested Development, a colourful collection of musicians, singers and MCs from various far flung parts of the US. Their roots-y, positive music struck a chord, and their Grammy award-winning debut LP was a massive crossover success. Ten years later, rapper Speech has toured with democratic politicians such as A l Gore and Hilary Clinton as a speaker on black culture and other issues, various band members have started families, and many things have changed. But it seems the usually f ickle public hold a special place in their hearts for AD. “We were all pretty content with the idea of not coming back together as a group,” says Speech. “But the fans really made us re-think the issue, and made us re-consider, ‘cos they were like: ‘Man, we really miss what you guys did when you were on the scene,’ and it encouraged us. We realised that there was much more we could do, not just on a political activism level, but on a creative and artistic level too.” Four members of Speech’s band have joined as full members,

December 06

bringing the grand total to eight, still including mentor-figure Baba Ojay. In the background, small children are laughing and playing. I ask Speech if fatherhood has changed his approach to his music: “I think becoming a father does make you more aware of the need for hip-hop music that’s not all talking about the same kind of stuff. It has brought back a lot of innocence to my life.” As he talks, Speech keeps returning to what he sees as hiphop’s Golden Age, the late 80s to mid 90s: “If you talk to most people, they look at the late 80s / early 90s as the glory days of hip-hop. I think the reason I loved hip-hop from that era was that it was just more balanced, There was gangster hiphop in that era, 2 Live Crew were talking about strip clubs, but also MC Hammer was talking about dancing, and A Tribe Called Quest were talking about what they were doing [kicking it]. Everyone didn’t all sound the same, they weren’t all using the same producers. There was still negative and positive hip-hop, straight party hiphop. Think about it – it was the most colourful moment in hip-hop. Public Enemy could have toured with Hammer and it would have made sense. Everything was alright!” Speech feels that regional acts are being ignored for specific reasons in the industry that hip-hop has become: “The problem is that it’s just not being exposed, but it’s out there, and it’s fantastic

music, very vibrant. That is the way the music industry has changed. Everything has merged together: all the video channels, all the major labels, all the radio stations are influenced by very few people. They’re not interested any more, and that has cloned the playlist. With capitalism the main drive is business, politically, socially conscious music is an inconvenient truth: it doesn’t make sense for business, or in terms of the escapism in entertainment that drives capitalism.” Speech is still a man on a mission. Neither a decade in the industry nor fatherhood have changed that. “There’s some very sad things going on in society right now. But the saddest thing for me is that at the biggest moment for hip-hop, which by all means this is, it is also the most materialistic time period of hip-hop, and it’s sort of sad. It’s like we have our biggest chance right now to make an impact, not just musically but also socially. We’re not using it, or at least many are not. I do believe in miracles, and in terms of the hip-hop scene I think things could be more colourful and balanced, like it used to be.” Buying Since The Last Time is a bit like buying your veg from the organic grocer instead of the

‘SINCE THE LAST TIME’ IS OUT ON JAN 8. WWW.ARRESTEDDEVELOPMENTMUSIC.COM

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

It’s just about time for ol’ Saint Nick to squeeze his jolly ass down that chimney, guzzle the Jack Daniels, ransack the cookie jar and, with any luck, leave us a Rubicks cube and a Ginsters under the tree. With the end of the year upon us, Sounds speaks to the rather superb TV On The Radio during The Skinny’s rabid search for the top album of 2006. We also catch up with the usual unusual wild bunch; from Jack Black and Kyle Gass of the mighty Tenacious D and Arab Strap’s Aidan Moffat to Robby Krieger of The Doors (who celebrate their 40th anniversary this month), Pavement’s Bob Nastanovich, Danny from Edinburgh’s Rushes and Mike from Glasgow’s Pendulums. We also have our regular slew of reviews, more free melodies from the Gramophone and the focus of our label feature this month is SL Records, home to Dawn Of The Replicants and Ballboy. So sit back and tuck in, ‘cos just like that bloody turkey; there’ll still be plenty of leftovers to feast on later (see www.skinnymag.co.uk). See you in January, be sure to calm it with the mince pies and go easy on the sauce. /Dave

SOUNDS CONTENTS RIDERS ON THE STORM LIVE MUSIC HIGHLIGHTS EDINBURGH THE RUSHES GLASGOW THE PENDULUMS SOUNDTRACK 2006 ARAB STRAP TENACIOUS D METAL UP YOUR ASS LIGHTS ACTION X-MAS SINGLES ALBUM REVIEWS SINGLE REVIEWS THE EASY GRAMOPHONE SL RECORDS

INTERVIEW FEATURE

DON’T MISS

LIVE MUSIC

INTERVIEW FEATURE

LIVE MUSIC

INTERVIEW FEATURE

FEATURE

32-33

INTERVIEW FEATURE

COLUMN

INTERVIEW FEATURE

FEATURE

by Dave Kerr

“We just played a gig at the Whisky last night, it’s happening.” Robby Krieger could be calling us from 1966. The days may be passed during which Jim Morrison epitomized the very idea of what the rock god could accomplish by mesmerising audiences, strutting the stage and spouting beat poetry which advocated individual personal freedom and an anti-authoritarian rebellion, but the psychedelic enigma of the Lizard King continues to live on. 40 years after the crystal ship first set sail, Krieger tells The Skinny that he just sound checked ‘Roadhouse Blues’ with Val Kilmer for old time’s sake - “he can really do it, y’know? I wish he’d come down more often and sing” – at the legendary venue where it all started. Of course, recruiting any new singer for The Doors must be a bit like asking a mere mortal to channel the powers of Zeus. Nevertheless, Krieger talks of their latest addition – The Cult’s adequately shamanic frontman Ian Astbury - as a kindred spirit to his old pal. “They both have similar interests, he reminds me of Jim in many ways. They’re both

of Scottish descent and Ian is very much into the whole American Indian thing as Jim was.” Although this “new” band features Krieger along w ith fellow founder member Ray Manzarek, they are presently forbidden from using The Doors’ moniker as their own, following an injunction taken out by drummer John Densmore and Morrison’s estate. Bringing their show to Scotland this month, as Riders on the Storm (the name Densmore also happened to choose for his autobiographical book on life with Jim), the group have essentially been a touring act thus far, but do they dare extend their ambitions to the studio? “That’s the problem with this whole lawsuit stupidity that’s going on,” Krieger retorts, disappointedly. “Hopefully once that gets taken care of we won’t have to call it Riders on the Storm. We’re kind of waiting, as far as recording goes, until that’s resolved. Hopefully it won’t be too long.”

Not so long ago, it was alleged that Krieger and Densmore were at least united in their disapproval of the way that Morrison was portrayed as an “uncontrollable sociopath” in Oliver Stone’s acclaimed Doors biopic, despite providing creative assistance on set. Krieger suggests the media made his attitude towards the film sound far worse than it was, although he conceeds that Stone did take something of a domineering approach. “Not that Oliver Stone really listens to anybody, but the one scene in the film that was my idea was the one where we work up ‘Light My Fire’. That’s the kind of thing I think people would want to see in the movie. I liked it, I thought it was a good rock n’ roll movie.” And what of Kilmer’s portrayal of Jim? “He should have got an academy award for that, man. There were a lot of guys trying to get that part, John Travolta really wanted it bad, he came over to my house with his black leather pants and everything.” After a snapshot of a brief, subliminal and entirely horrific mental image, The Skinny checks itself and remembers that by “pants” Krieger of course means “trousers.”

THIS MONTH’S REVIEWS 38 38

FEATURE

A MUSO’S TOP 10 BEN KWELLER

Travolta and his trusty pants aside, looking back on their career from their 40th anniversary, Krieger contemplates whether he’s in any better a position to work out what it was that made Jim tick those many moons ago. “I don’t know. I wondered whether there was something in his family life that made him the way he was, but then I see his brother and his sister are very normal people, so it must have been something he was born with that was like the devil in him. He just had it in him and it had to come out. You can’t figure Jim out; he was a genius, but he was a troubled genius. He was so smart, but he was too smart and he didn’t know what to do with it, therefore he had to drown himself with drink and drugs just to feel normal. I wish he could have had more fun in life and not been so damn serious all the time.”

“Did I tell you I’d just become a father? That may creep into my top ten somewhere...” And so it was, when the Skinny caught up with nicest guy in rock, Ben Kweller, at his recent Glasgow gig to see what was tickling his aural fancy. Fresh from a triumphant show in his “favourite British city” and just before getting back to his fatherhood duties, he advised us to check out the following albums this yuletide season. Not that The Boss is synonymous with Father Christmas, mind:

1. THE VASELINES - WAY OF THE VASELINES 2. ROGER MILLER - GREATEST HITS 3. BOB DYLAN - ANOTHER SIDE OF BOB DYLAN 4. NILS LOFGREN - NILS LOFGREN 5. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN - BORN IN THE USA 6. TOM PETTY - SOUTHERN ACCENTS 7. BURT IVES - (KIDS SONGS) 8. JOSH WHITE - AT MIDNIGHT 9. THE STROKES - IS THIS IT? 10. ADAM GREEN - FRIENDS WWW.BENKWELLER.COM

26 ISSUE FIFTEEN

clear differences of opinion about how their legacy should be continued, how does all this leave relations with their excompatriot? Krieger speaks of rock n’ roll as though it’s The Doors’ duty to perform, even without Densmore and their original charasmatic lynchpin. “We know that the fans want to see John play and I wish he would think more of the fans, whether it’s personal or not. Look at Mick and Keith, they don’t like each other much but they play together every night. Music is music, you don’t have to love each other to play music together. The fans buy the records, they pay our bills, we owe them. I think at one point he’ll come and play with us.”

What with their recent embittered lawsuits and

THIS MONTH’S REVIEWS 36

FEATURE

SOUNDS

“YOU CAN’T FIGURE JIM OUT; HE WAS A GENIUS, BUT HE WAS A TROUBLED GENIUS. HE WAS SO SMART, BUT HE WAS TOO SMART AND HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT” - ROBBY KRIEGER

RIDERS ON THE STORM PLAY CLYDE AUDITORIUM, GLASGOW ON 29 DEC.

Riders on the Storm: (L-R) Ray Manzarek. Ian Astbury, Robby Kreiger

December 06

THE DOORS LATEST BOX SET, PERCEPTION IS OUT NOW ON RHINO WWW.THEDOORS.COM

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SINGLE REVIEWS

DANANANAYKROYD SOME DRESSES

(JEALOUS RECORDS)

Dananananayk royd – a bizarre name for a bizarrely brilliant band. The Glasgow six-piece formed after ditching various former muso-mates earlier this year, but was this collective sacrifice worth it? ‘Some Dresses’, their second single to date, yells a resounding ‘yes’. The song starts with an ear-grabbing, highspeed riff and (what sounds like) a gang of the band’s mates chanting the chorus, before the rhythm kicks in with singer Giles’s carelessly-delivered vocals. Awkward art-school rock meets punk chaos in Dananananaykroyd, another new ‘post-everything’ band who mop up influences indiscriminately - from Pavement to At the Drive-in - and still sound urgently new. [Nick Mitchell] OUT NOW MYSPACE.COM/DANANANANAYKROYD

GET CAPE. WEAR ,CAPE. FLY WAR OF THE WORLDS

(ATLANTIC)

‘War Of The Worlds’ begins as a folk song sung by an emo singer, with emo lyrics. It explodes somewhere in the middle with cornets, drums and anti-folk guitar. It sounds good for a while, and then it just dies on itself. It moves into heavy double bass lines and easy melodies, and what begins as a folk song disappears into something that’s just too close to James Blunt. Okay, so it’s not that annoying, it just fits too snugly into the current clique of UK singer-songwriters for comfort. It could be Damien

Rice. It could even be Nizlopi and it becomes instantly forgettable as a result. [Neil Ferguson] OUT NOW WWW.GETCAPEWEARCAPEFLY.CO.UK

KIDDO

135 DAYS EP

(SELF RELEASED)

basement club nights where many a smoke-filled romance was acted out through the medium of swing. As pure a pop-jazz offering as you’ll hear all year, ‘Come To Me’ is beautifully simple yet highly musically accomplished. Like a soundtrack to the greatest war time drama ever. Buy it. [Jon Seller] RELEASE DATE: 18 DEC

Plenty of indie bands claim to mix rock songs with dance grooves and jazz rhythms. Most of them don’t. Kiddo, however, actually do and it sounds good. Opener, ‘Elegy’ isn’t a million miles from The White Stripes. ‘Closer, 55 Years Time’ rings true with neo-punk guitar lines, indie hooks and plenty of melody. ‘135 Days’ is eclectic. Everything sounds like something familiar but Kiddo creates enough of their own sound, built up from the dilettantish rhythms that seep into the lead guitar lines. Only the ubiquitous ballad, ‘Brought To Your Knees’, fails to inspire. Sitting uncomfortably close to a Coldplay album track, it lacks the zeal and direction of the others. Still, four out of five ain’t bad, is it? [Neil Ferguson] RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW MYSPACE.COM/KIDDOBAND

WWW.K-O-O-P.COM

MUSE

KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA

(WARNER)

OUT NOW

So here we are, the apocolypse is upon us; the four horseman ride amongst the trading of laser beam blows and lightsaber skirmishing and it would appear we are beyond saving. But wait, what’s this? It’s Bellamy and Co., armed with another supermassive tune and more gloriously unashamed pomp and circumstance than a Queen convention. “No one’s gonna take me alive, the time has come to make things right,” we’re told, and I for one believe. Oh and it has some awesome Lizzy-esque riff action towards the end. Always a treat. [Jon Seller] OUT NOW WWW.MUSE.MU

KOOP

COME TO ME

I WAS A CUB SCOUT

(K7)

PINK SQUARES / TEENAGE SKIN

Swedish duo Koop cite jazz and love as their influences and both are certainly in evidence here. Jazztinged drum brushing and smooth horns combine effortlessly with words of love, evoking late-’20s,

experience with electronica shows. ‘Pink Squares’ is an indie ballad with keyboard lines that borrow heavily from Apoptygma Berzerk’s ‘In This Together’. ‘Teenage Skin’ opens with the punk-disco of The Faint et al but slowly disappears into another ballad with more scrounged keyboards - this time it’s Bran Van 3000’s ‘Drinking In LA’. Profoundly influenced by The Postal Service, the fact that I Was A Cub Scout is an indie band at heart shows, glaringly, through their keyboards. [Neil Ferguson]

(ABEANO)

Despite defining their sound as “romantic techno,” there’s nothing techno about I Was A Cub Scout. They use keyboards, but their in-

WWW.IWASACUBSCOUT.COM

CRASH MY MODEL CAR MAYBE (MY DAD RECORDINGS)

This is almost generic guitar-driven indie pop, but with enough of an enchanting hook to turn Crash My Model Car’s debut EP into the vehicle for some airtight song writing. Iain Morrison is the son of a world-renowned bagpipe player who was initially sceptical of his son’s interest in this guitar malarkey. Undisputedly honest, with wavecrashing choruses and a sense of uplifting longing, this has the kind of gazing-out-to-sea feeling that could only come from living on an island. And although these guys might have better production (and accents), the question is whether we really want another band that sounds like Snow Patrol. [Ali Maloney] RELEASE DATE: 4 DEC WWW.CRASHMYMODELCAR.COM

5 SONGS YOU CAN LEGALLY DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN TO - FREE 1. SWAN LAKE - ‘THE FREEDOM’ Dan Bejar, also of Destroyer and The New Pornographers, leads this song alongside Frog Eyes’ Carey Mercer and Wolf Parade’s Spencer Krug. ‘The Freedom’ is a weird mix of clap and groan, Modest Mousey strain mixed with the splendour that marks Canadian indie rock of late. And when the noisy bit comes, piano raining silverblue, it’s like all the scariest bits are locked outside - on the other side of the cabin walls. DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.JAGJAGUWAR.COM/ONESHEET.PHP?CAT=JAG098

STATIC (SAVAGE RECORDINGS)

If you’re going to call yourself Guantanamo Bay, you’re really setting yourself a daunting task. You could either be some snotty nosed but ultimately poetically wise punk band a la Dead Kennedys, or else a crass, gore obsessed and entirely tasteless grindcore crew, or maybe even some poignant folk band at a push. In this case, no such approaches are evidenced in their sweet, pelvic swinging post-punk ditties. Although the music is all very pleasant, and the pseudo-serious vocals soar over buzzing guitars in sublime ways, they should really change their name to something that doesn’t suggest edginess, profoundity or mind-numbing stupidity. [Ali Maloney] OUT NOW WWW.SAVAGERECORDINGS.COM/ GUANTANAMOBAY

ROSE KEMP

VIOLENCE (ONE LITTLE INDIAN) Veering from disarmingly beautiful vocal lines to crashing guitars to unsettling snatches of uncomfor table lyrics, Rose Kemp is a wonderful enigma to say the least. Uncompromising in her songwriting approach – swelling violins share beds with raucous guitars, affected and layered vocals and staccato riffs – Kemp’s disregard for the ‘right thing to do’ is not the only attribute which recommends her. She has a wonderful voice and a knack for

perfectly capturing emotions that most would be unable to articulate – that moment when an ex-lover hangs up on you when you’re pouring out your heart. This juxtaposition of pain with beauty and discomfort with warmth shows brightly in her music and her lyrics, making these songs a delight to behold. [Ali Maloney]

3. SAMAMIDON - ‘TRIBULATION’ With piano, guitar, organs wheezy and wobbly, Sam Amidon and Thomas Bartlett (aka Doveman) make a song to warm any Appalachian night. It’s a yearning that isn’t constant: it flares and flashes, ebbs and fades. As piano-notes resound, Amidon sings and when he’s done there’s an answer spelled in pattering drums, whistling synths. 4. BLOOD MUSIC - ‘THE HAIR’ It starts as wonky awkward pop in the vein of Herman Dune or Jeffrey Lewis, but Blood Music meets Daft Punk less than a minute in, becoming a duet for mandolin and cybernetic voice. This is of course a fucking brilliant move: by the time the bongo solo’s done, you want to lift your hands and holler along. “Ain’t it good to be alive?!” ‘The Hair’, my friends, is a Flaming Lips hit in the making.

DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SLEEPINGSTATES

DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.MAKEITHAPPEN.ORG/THEHAIR.HTML

TOP

TWILIGHT SINGERS - A STITCH IN TIME EP (ONE LITTLE INDIAN)

JOSH RITTER

GIRL IN THE WAR EP (V2)

Four albums under his belt, Idaho-born Josh Ritter’s songwriting abilities are earning him a reputation tantamount to the likes of Dylan, Cash and Springsteen. His latest offering contains several previously unreleased tracks, and tells poignant tales of modern America that are delicately delivered with melodic guitars, heav y pianos and soaring organs. The simple yet literate lyrics are complemented by his alluring, tender vocals, most notably on the title track - the story of a man fearing for his lover in Iraq. A fine example of modern folkrock, it also features a bold take on Modest Mouse’s ‘Blame It On The Tetons’ and demo recordings of two tracks from critically acclaimed album The Animal Years. [Suzanne Mitchell]

shroud the McCollum collaboration in the beauty of classic Whigs flavour, while the slow burning metronomic perfection of Massive Attack cover ‘Live With Me’ and the spacious groove of ‘Flashback’ respectively punch home the most intense and soothing vocal deliveries that Lanegan has committed to tape for some time. Almost aptly, last track, ‘The Lure Would Prove Too Much’ is the only dwindling, unfocused ditty to detract from this otherwise outstanding package. [Charles McGarry] RELEASE DATE: 4 DEC, WWW.THETWILIGHTSINGERS.COM

December 06

EDINBURGH

GLASGOW

Nineties Indie die-hards THE BLUETONES kick things off with a gig at THE LIQUID ROOM ON 6 DEC. Expect breezy, accomplished pop, an up-for-it-crowd (their fanbase is notoriously rabid) and a smattering of classics, such as ‘Bluetonic’ and ‘Autophillia’.

MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD – this band is an

Quantic SOUL ORCHESTRA will unfold a seductive funk odyssey at the BONGO CLUB ON 7 DEC. Cherry-picking the lushest elements of beat culture, this band has got the melody and the grooves. This will be a swinging good-time gig for sure. ON 12 DEC, hotly tipped upstarts

DUELS will bewitch

CABARET VOLTAIRE with their swooning, melodic rock and

roll sounds. Dreamy synths, articulate, emotional vocals and devastating guitar lines add up to something a bit special. If worthy troubadours and po-faced indie preachers aren’t your bag, you’ll want to check out the deranged antics of THE HORRORS, who play THE SOUTH VAULTS ON 12 DEC. Schitzo riffs, bad hair and stream-of-conscious banter are the defining characteristics of this hugely entertaining band. See them.

OUT NOW. WWW.JOSHRITTER.COM

5. PAUL DUNCAN - ‘RED EAGLE’ Funny that a man can sound a little like Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy and a little like Tracy Chapman. But Duncan does, serious as black tea, while strings and pedal steel lap against his acoustic guitar. When the song recedes, four minutes young, it’s like the eponymous bird.

Left-wing punk rock veganism is big business these days, so if you’re down with that demographic then you’ll probably want to express your individuality by going to see PROPAGANDHI, who will play THE EXCHANGE ON 16 DEC. Seriously though, they rock. Edinburgh’s own BALLBOY wrap things up with a set at CABARET VOLTAIRE ON 21 DEC. Literate, eccentric and hugely passionate, songs such as ‘Sex is Boring’ and ‘You Can’t Spend Your Whole Life Hanging Around With Arseholes’ prove that Arab Strap don’t have a monopoly on endearingly brutal poetry.

unstoppable juggernaut of good vibes and great tunes. Expect a mind bending fusion of styles, full-on audience interaction and powerful, political lyrics. If you’ve seen them before you’ll already have your ticket. Don’t miss out. ARCHES, 3 DEC. The ever dependable PLACEBO play SECC ON 6 DEC. They get a kicking in some quarters, and their records aren’t as essential as they once were, but this is still the same band that wrote classics like ’36 Degrees’. Recent performances confirm that they’re still a mesmerising live prospect, so check them out.

BLACK WIRE and NEIL’S CHILDREN serve up a generous helping of angular, atmospheric guitar noise at the BARFLY ON 7 DEC. Infectious, direct and bloody good fun; this is a stellar double bill. Neil’s Children in particular offer some delightfully intense goth-tinged punk thrills. The wondrous HOWLING BELLS swoop into THE CATHOUSE ON 8 DEC. Ambitious, majestic and damn near irresistible, they combine recklessly swaggering country-tinged vocal parts with evocative, chiming guitars to startling effect. This band is special and you should love them.

WHITE ROSE MOVEMENT play

KING TUT’S ON 12 DEC. Swirling synths, icy guitar riffs and pounding bass all add up to an intoxicating live proposition. They’ll make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Dark and dangerous.

Bear witness to the last rites of UNCLE JOHN AND WHITELOCK, as Scotland’s most criminally under-appreciated band call it a day after one last gig at KING TUT’S ON 23 DEC. It’s been a strange, scary ride, but whatever their reasons for packing it in, The Skinny salutes them. They were too good for scum like us.

DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.HOME-TAPES.COM/MP3/REDEAGLE.MP3

illustration Neale McDavitt

SINGLES

ONLINE SINGLE REVIEWS

1. THE TWILIGHT SINGERS - ‘A STITCH IN TIME‘ (ONE LITTLE INDIAN)

COLD WAR KIDS

2. DANANANANAYKROYD - ‘SOME DRESSES‘ (JEALOUS RECORDS)

BOY KILL BOY

3. ROSE KEMP - ‘VIOLENCE’ (ONE LITTLE INDIAN)

DARKEL

4. CRASH MY MODEL CAR - ‘MAYBE’ (MY DAD RECORDINGS)

JULIETTE AND THE LICKS

5. COLD WAR KIDS - ‘WE USED TO VACATION EP‘ (V2)

PARIS HILTON

- WE USED TO VACATION EP (V2)

- SHOOT ME DOWN (VERTIGO)

- AT THE END OF THE SKY (EMI)

- STICKY HONEY (HASSLE)

- NOTHING IN THIS WORLD (WARNER)

TO MY BOY - THE GRID (ABEANO MUSIC) 3/5

ISSUE FIFTEEN

by Ted Maul

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DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.SAMAMIDON.COM/THISCHICKEN.HTML

FEATURED SINGLE

Highlights

OUT NOW

by Sean Michaels

2. SLEEPING STATES - ‘RIVERS’ Guitar strings pull in and back like oars, and London’s Sleeping States is paddling down something narrower than the Thames. There are trees and deer and little shrubs. Must be the Cam. Or the Dee. Must be voices like Grizzly Bear and riffs from Pavement’s laziest Saturday afternoon.

This EP winds 2006 up nicely for the Twilight Singers. Following almost unanimous applause for their latest LP, the band encored by playing relentlessly for the second half of the year. Unsurprisingly, by the time they made it to Cabaret Voltaire with Mark Lanegan in tow over the summer they may have looked a bit knackered, but their show was nevertheless sublime. Featuring one Twilights track and four weighty collaborations with players such as the aforementioned Lanegan, Joseph Arthur and estranged longterm songwriting partner Rick McCollum, ‘A Stitch in Time’ is substantial testimony to the fact that Twilight Singers specialise in providing drowsy narcoleptic acid jazz and straight up euphoric adrenaline shots to the heart – there is no in between. Blazing Hendrix riffs

GUANTANAMO BAY

LIVE MUSIC

SOUNDS

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Michael Franti

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December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

EDINBURGH

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL:

SL Records by Milo McLaughlin

“WE’VE HAD THE HEAD OF A & R AT A MAJOR RECORD COMPANY CALLING US ASKING HOW WE GOT SUCH GOOD PUBLICITY FOR DAWN OF THE REPLICANTS’ LAST ALBUM” SL Records are one of the crown jewels in Edinburgh’s somewhat skeletal music scene. Over the last nine years the label has released records from an eclectic batch of superbly idiosyncratic bands including Dawn of the Replicants, Ballboy, Saint Jude’s Infirmary and Misty’s Big Adventure. Ahead of their joint Christmas Party with the Scottish Hobo Society, SL’s head honcho Ed Pybus told The Skinny how it all began. “Me and a couple of friends who worked at Fresh Air FM (Edinburgh’s student radio station) decided to release a CD of some of the live sessions we’d done, and it got good reviews in the NME & Melody Maker. Then we put out the label’s first single, ‘Summer/Winter Song’ by Khaya. John Peel, Steve Lamacq and Jo Whiley all played it on air and it was really successful.” Although his student days came to an end, Ed

MARY GAUTHIER - www.fisherphotographics.co.uk

WARCHILD BENEFIT BANNERMANS, 4 NOV

A h e a l t hy t u r n o u t at o n e of Edinburgh’s favourite cavernous venues were treated to a fine array of charity-motivated warblings this evening as the Warchild tour rolled into town. Good times. The incredibly twee The Quiet Revolution (3/5) broke us in gently with their harmonic west coast (Scottish west coast that is) offerings, and although slightly hampered by the acoustics, the sentiments were not lost on an appreciative crowd. Next up, and going one better than their predecessors by having a drummer, A Very Secret History (2/5) ticked the boxes marked ‘stadium aspirations’ with ease, but seemed to have sacrificed any bite and guile in doing so. Their MOR, undoubtedly radio-friendly ballads were all too easily forgettable, with only the Cure-tinged opener offering any real resistance. Tour stalwarts Rebel Jane (3/5) upped the ante and the volume a little with their melodic rock and roll. Undoubted Muse-like ambitions were evident throughout and although never troubled, the intelligent arrangements and talent on show were impressive. The sound once again claimed victims though, with the harmonies only visual (unless there was some miming going on) and the bass ruling the mix quite comprehensively. The Last Great Wilderness (4/5) brought the energy to the party and although a member light due to illness, the 3-piece were unrestrained in their furious and unashamed take on an angry, early-Manics sound. The perfect set up for the headliner and just about enough to awaken a t i r e d - l o o k i n g a u d i e n c e, t h e ‘Wilderness take no prisoners, commanding the stage with ease. Headliners the Rushes (4/5) maintained the standard to the end, comfortably finishing off the night with their catchy and at times hugely infectious pop-rock. Although at times seemingly merging into one

ISSUE FIFTEEN

another (it was late) the local fivepiece would certainly appear to be ones to keep an eye on. A success indeed, even without the obvious charidee benefits, this was well worth the visit. [Jon Seller] WWW.WARCHILD.ORG.UK

ISA AND THE FILTHY TONGUES CABARET VOLTAIRE, 10 NOV

TAPES ‘N TAPES - Jane Fenton

the homeless, the destitute. But it’s not all misery and pain, with even the most achingly realised lyrics wrapped in gorgeous melody and delivered in her warm Bayou drawl. And, not content with pouring her soul into her songs, as a performer she lives every one on stage, wincing at the painful memories and smiling at the shreds of hope that occasionally shine through. [Paul Greenwood] WWW.MARYGAUTHIER.COM

Inexperience isn’t always everything when it comes to firing out visceral thrills. While some might have you believe that bands of a certain age are only fit for the rock’n’roll retirement home, Isa and the Filthy Tongues prove that snotty-nosed tyros don’t have a monopoly on tightly-wound primal musical magic. The Edinburgh band – three former members of Goodbye Mr McKenzie and Angelfish plus American singer Stacey Chavis – demonstrated that they possess the fervent hunger of whippersnappers. Like Debbie Harry backed by an amalgam of Ennio Morricone, the Pixies and Link Wray, the band sped through a mix of tunes from this year’s underexposed debut album Addiction and a smattering of newies. Instrumental opener ‘Nae Tongues’ and the chugging glam-rock lasciviousness of ‘Finders Fuckers’ were the twin peaks of the evening but the constant full-throttle rev of their engine proved these veterans have plenty left in the tank. [Duncan Forgan] WWW.ISAANDTHEFILTHYTONGUES.COM/

MARY GAUTHIER

CABARET VOLTAIRE, 7 NOV

RANCID

STUDIO 24 EDINBURGH, 9 NOV If you’ve never heard of Rancid before now, best stop reading, it’s pretty much guaranteed not to be your thing. For those fanboys and girls out there that missed them... you missed out. Doing what they do best, the Berkley boys rocked out the entirity of Studio 24 with an awesome array of tracks from their massive collection - even a few from Life Wont Wait (which has been a bit neglected previously), as well as a few classics from Operation Ivy and a couple from Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards. There was no disappointment to be had, playing as solid a set as any band that has been together for fifteen years (sans drummer Bret, who left recently appropriately replaced by Brandon Steinecker from The Used), and playing for a very respectable length of time (going on two hours). It was Rancid: if you like them it was awesome. If you dont, well... you suck. Oh, and if anyone found a green cap, could you send it to Skinny HQ? Cheers. [Josh Wilson] WWW.RANCIDRANCID.COM

Drawing on her many years of dependency and delinquency, Mary Gauthier serves up a stunning slice of country noir, with her unflinching tales of alcohol, cheap motels and death row murderers as bleak and powerful as anything dredged up by Tom Russell or Steve Earle. Many are based on her own experiences, some tell of characters on the fringes of society - the poor,

December 06

TAPES ‘N TAPES

THE LIQUID ROOM, 6 NOV Because most hyped bands strum through their brief careers on autopilot, to find Tapes ‘n Tapes putting their all into tonight’s show is more refreshing than a swim in the Forth. The Minneapolis four-piece may succumb to crowd-pleasing – “two

of our best ever shows have been in Scotland so we’re super-excited to be here,” exclaims singer Josh Grier – but this can be forgiven when it’s true. Live, the Tapes are the genuine article, a squalling clammer of conflicting styles from jazz to Americana glued seamlessly by solid hooks and rhythms. Recent single ‘Cowbell’ warms a rapidly-thawing crowd of curios, but the highlights are so frequent that they form a plateau of obvious quality. ‘Omaha’ is stirringly romantic, the stomping two-step of ‘Insistor’ infectious, and the wordless guitar crescendos of set-closer ‘Jakov’s Suite’ enthralling. Having conquered Scotland for a third time, the band leave, the lights go on, and, for once, the hype is to be believed. [Nick Mitchell] WWW.TAPESNTAPES.COM

THE DATSUNS

CABARET VOLTAIRE, 26 OCT To say The Datsuns were once world beaters would be immoderate hyperbole. There was, however, a time when the New Zealanders were being mentioned in the same breath as garage rock revolution pioneers The Strokes and The White Stripes. Tonight, such ruminations in Cabaret Voltaire seem as antipodal as the band themselves. This gig may have come as a rude awakening to those in attendance on account of fond memories of their eponymous début. Older numbers like ‘Lady’ and ‘Motherfucker From Hell’ were always going to go down well, but the failings of their output since was manifest to all but the front few rows of allegiant followers. Recent tracks like ‘System Overload’ fail to generate any real excitement, indicative of how stationary The Datsuns have been. Granted, they were never the most innovative band in the world and unwavering retro was part of their appeal, but rock n roll was never meant to be this boring. [Finbarr Bermingham] WWW.THEDATSUNS.COM

decided to continue with the label “instead of getting a proper job” and luckily SL enjoyed Mr. Peel’s continued support. “John played every record we released up until his death and even did an SL Records night on his show with sessions by Ballboy and Degrassi.” At first Ed was involved with all aspects of promoting the bands on the label, including acting as tour manager. “I ended up doing a four week tour of America with Ballboy which was great - but when you’re driving round the arse end of Birmingham in a van for the fifth time it begins to lose its appeal. I decided to mainly concentrate on running the label, which allowed us to sign more bands, such as Misty’s Big Adventure, The Starlets and The Aphrodisiacs.” Misty’s are currently creating a buzz with their Franz-baiting single ‘The Fashion Parade’, however unlike their previous output it’s being re-

leased on Sunday Best Records rather than SL. “We don’t hold bands to long term contracts so if they get offered deals by bigger labels who can give them more publicity that’s fine - the point of SL is to put out stuff that otherwise wouldn’t be released at all.” However, for Ed, selling out just isn’t an option. “I’d rather keep it small than sell out to a big record label and have to justify myself to other people. Dawn of the Replicants came to us after they left EMI despite offers from other labels, because one thing we can offer our bands is complete creative freedom.” Although they’ve now parted ways with Ballboy, the label has plenty in store for 2007 with new albums expected from the Aphrodisiacs and the 55’s, as well as the first single from local nutters Lords of Bastard. First in the pipeline is the new album from Saint Jude’s Infirmary, whose song ‘Goodbye Jack Vettriano’ led to the artist himself

SOUNDS

appearing in the video (filmed for BBC Scotland’s The Music Show), along with another famous fan, Ian Rankin.

That SL can attract the kind of publicity that money can’t buy is all down to the consistently high quality of the music they release. “We had the head of A & R at a major record company calling us asking how we got such good publicity for Dawn of the Replicants’ last album - they were spending an absolute fortune and not getting as good results as we were - and it was just me and the Replicants’ lead singer Paul Vickers making phone calls from the office!”

THE SL/SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY CHRISTMAS PARTY IS HELD AT THE BONGO CLUB, EDINBURGH ON 17 DEC. WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SLRECORDS

THE DATSUNS - Kristin Amilic

BOSSK

HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, 19 NOV Sprawling post-metal epics with crushing, searing heavy crescendos? They’d heard it all before, I’m sure. I’m equally sure that the crowd couldn’t care less because this was special music played by a criminally underexposed band in a venue whose size accommodates this sound so tightly it could almost have been designed to house the likes of Bossk. An hour-long, three track set from the touring Kent lads built its momentum around a weighty selection of effects pedals, Spartan, low-key lighting and the whiff of

burning incense - oh, and some incredible playing. It’s by no means disparaging to say that Bossk’s sound innovates little on the likes of Cult of Luna or Isis, because the length of the tracks dictates that the variances on structure and on the shape of the layered guitars allows for a familiar newness each time you listen. And with the inevitability of the distorted climax always just around the corner, it reminds you that for all its merits this style just doesn’t have enough bands attempting it. At least, not many as good as Bossk. [Jamie Borthwick]

BALLBOY

photo: Jim Lambie

WWW.BOSSKONLINE.CO.UK

EDINBURGH UNDER SURVEILLANCE ‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, WHEN ALL THROUGH AULD REEKIE... ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Auld Reekie, gigs they were stirring, and a few were damn freaky. Nororious backstage Quo antics aside, Club Ego finally kick off their live music programme with The Sadies appearing at the top of the month on the first. Next up to bat and taking over on the 8th, Rock Against Racism at the Cougar Lounge denotes a worthy cause with a stellar bill featuring the likes of Glasgowbased Tori Amos / Ani DiFranco influenced chanteuse Adriana. A fter the faultless ruckus of their performance at our birthday ho down at The Liquid Room in October, the unstoppable touring machine that is OBE support Mark Morriss of The Bluetones at Henry’s on the 9th. A guaranteed highlight of the month. Not to be outdone by the shedloads of dodgy office parties taking place across the land

by Dave Kerr

in December, venues, labels and promoters prove they are no exceptions to lure of the Christmas bash. Bannerman’s ring in the festive season with their Degrassi/Electric Sound Conspi racy/Broken Records combo moving some boards on the 14th, whereas the usual alliance of Babytiger (settling in nicely to their new abode at the Cafe Royal) and Is This Music? join forces to put on an evening of lo-fi and rock n’ roll with Le Reno Amps and Pilotcan at Café Royal on the 16th. Also, the focus of our label feature this month, SL Records, return with the annual f launting of their talented stable at the Bongo Club the following evening. Featuring a superb mixture, from the desert rock/surf punk sounds of Lords of Bastard to the sublime charms of Dawn of the Replicants, this presents itself as an excellent opportunity to investigate the fine wares of this mainstay capital label.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SOUNDS ACOUSTIC LADYLAND SKINNY GRIN (V2)

Blossoming from the madcap desire of v o c a l i s t Pe te Wareham to make his saxophone sound like a guitar, Acoustic Ladyland blend metal and jazz in thunderous, freeform style. All punk fury and rhythmless noise, the sounds of Skinny Grin range from unsettling to downright scary. At times sounding close to ska-influenced hardcore, at others, like the back end of Napalm Death; Acoustic Ladyland have created one of the most interesting jazz influenced albums of recent years – terrifying, brutal and ultimately quite amazing. If ‘Revolution 9’ was enough to convince Mark David Chapman that The Beatles were the horsemen of the apocalypse, the terse antipathy of Skinny Grin will, no doubt, engender a whole new generation of amateur eschatologists. [Neil Ferguson] RELEASE DATE: 4 DEC WWW.ACOUSTICLADYLAND.COM

BEN FOLDS

SUPERSUNNYSPEEDGRAPHIC, THE LP (EPIC)

Benjamin Scott Folds is an exuberant mus i c a l o d d i t y. Responsible for some of the finest geek-pop melodies of the past decade, he takes schlocky songsmithery and entwines it in a web of dreamy symphonic arrangements. Supersunnyspeedgraphic, The LP sees Folds merge a collection of online-only releases into one tangible, technophobe friendly record. Sounding distinctly like a Nor th Carolinian Costello, he croons his way through a delectable selection of self-penned ditties and head-turning cover versions. Dr Dre’s ‘Bitches Ain’t Shit’ is astonishing; remoulding grimacing lyrical misogyny into a gushing piano-led triumph, questioning the original’s overtly masculine proclamations. Stirring interpretations of The Cure’s ‘In Between Days’ and The Divine Comedy’s ‘Songs Of Love’ wonderfully highlight Ben’s soothing vocal elasticity, whilst ‘There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You’ is as quirkily dumb as any of his former conquests. Never

a revelation, it’s exactly what you’d expect from Ben Folds: catchy, fun and completely bemusing. [Billy Hamilton] OUT NOW WWW.BENFOLDS.COM

DEAD OR AMERICAN ENDS

(PET PIRANHA / PREDESTINATION)

Regardless of any intensif ying interest there may have been in th e l a st few ye a r s, t h e r e still seems something terribly arcane about the contemporary Scottish music scene. It may be comparable to the New York and Seattle explosions in its often one-dimensional portrayal in the national media, but it’s still safe to say that the fuller picture lurks eagerly beneath a mass of unevenly placed hype. Take Falkirk’s Dead or American, who must exist in some alternate universe to have remained such relative unknowns for so long. Their first LP, Ends, sees the rolling thunder of opener ‘Flame Out’ stomping with an understated fury, and so the album blazes its way for a few numbers before belatedly stating: ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’ on song four. Searing and soothing at a well balanced pace, DoA are seemingly possessed by the threat of imminent and absolute collapse that The Jesus Lizard subscribed to, as well as the unusual soaring harmonies of Murmur era REM. All of this equates to an intimidating debut to rock some tartan socks. [Dave Kerr] OUT NOW WWW.DEADORAMERICAN.COM

SNOWDEN ANTI-ANTI (JADE TREE)

C u r r e n tl y a l most unknown in the UK, Snowden deserve to create a stir with their debut album. Comparisons with more established bands like Interpol or Yeah Yeah Yeahs are inevitable, if unjustified; this Atlanta quartet have created a unique and unpretentious sound from a scene quickly growing stale. Jordan Jeffares’ distinctive vocal style has the almost despairing quality of Ian Curtis and his lyrics

gloomily reflect on the monotony of life in small-town America, thus making the listening experience not entirely “easy.” However, there is a remarkably engaging element to this band, and it is hard not to be drawn into their obscure lyrical musings. Imagine grinding, distorted bass coupled with shimmering guitars; brooding vocals that verge on discordance, and an end product almost impossible to accurately describe. One to catch whilst they are still playing small venues, as it is surely only a matter of time before a much larger audience catches on to Snowden. [Lucy Weir] OUT NOW WWW.SNOWDEN.INFO

YOURCODENAMEIS: MILO PRINT IS DEAD VOL. 1 (V2)

Akin to Josh Homme’s Desert Sessions, Print Is Dead plays a s a w h o’s who of the current and all too recent indie elite. Bloc Party, Reuben, Futureheads, The Automatic and Hot Club De Paris all put in an appearance on the ‘write it, practise it, record it in one day’ experiment. The results are often shocking. ‘The Trapeze Artist’ is brutal and comes with chopped, heavy riffing and manic wails, yet features The Automatic. ‘Captain Of Lies’ is similarly violent but more akin to the usual sounds of contributors Reuben. Print Is Dead Vol. 1 ranges between genius and banality. At times, inspired, at others, bland and trite. As ‘I Remember The Summer Isles’ crawls on for nearly seven minutes, it becomes obvious that when Print Is Dead fails, it is the contributors, and not the idea itself, who are found lacking. [Neil Ferguson] OUT NOW WWW.YOURCODENAMEISMILO.COM

UNCLE FRITZ FIELD REPORTS (PET PIRANHA)

Dundonian singer/songwriter Fraser Stewart (Alamos, Perineum), AKA Uncle Fritz provides further proof that the

PAVEMENT - WOWEE ZOWEE - SORDID SENTINALS (REISSUE) (DOMINO/MATADOR) When The Skinny asks Pavement’s Bob Nastanovich if Wowee Zowee sounds different today to when it was first released in April 1995, we expect him to agree. We expect him to say that it sounds even more alive than it did; even more brilliant and lazy and prescient. That the remaster – out on 4 Dec on Domino – is awesome, ringing, crystal clear. But instead he says that the album sounds “exactly as I remembered.” And he says he hasn’t heard the new version. “I should go buy one.” The package boasts less rare material than other recent Pavement reissues, but Wowee Zowee is so singular – and the remaster so good - that frankly it doesn’t matter. ‘Grounded’ is glitter-sinister, bright and dark; ‘Pueblo’ sends me fireworking skyward; ‘Kennel District’ is the rise of a submarine. And ‘We Dance,’ which opens the record, shows Stephen Malkmus in full slacker-courtier

ISSUE FIFTEEN

OUT NOW WWW.RESONANCESTORE.COM/PETPIRANHA WWW.PETPIRANHA.COM/YOURUNCLEFRITZ

BATTLE OF MICE A DAY OF NIGHTS (NEUROT)

mode, the guy who cares most-and-least of all about the song. Bob Nastanovich was a beloved and key member of Pavement: settling disputes, drumming (alongside Gary Young, and later Steve West), and yelling. “I’m an awful singer,” he admits. “Beer made me sing.” But he was key to the band’s splendid and scattered vibe, epitomised in Wowee Zowee. I ask him his fondest Pavement memory. His answer might as well be a song-lyric: “Our first gig in Sydney in ’93. My nose bled from joy.” [Sean Michaels] RELEASE DATE: 4 DEC.

WE ARE SCIENTISTS

ISIS

(VIRGIN)

(IPECAC)

We Are Scientists caused a few squabbles a mong indie d evote e s o n the release of their debut album With Love and Squalor last year. Was it just another rehash of a re-heated post-punk cliché, or was it actually quite good? For advocates of the former, it’s unlikely this collection of B-Sides, covers and remixes (plus 14 videos on the DVD) will change your mind. But for fans, Crap Attack is a bulging sack of dorky delights. The whiffy title is typical of the band’s collegeboy sense of humour: in ‘Bang Bang Rock & Roll’, a meticulously-blatant Velvets rip-off, Keith Murray sings, “I don’t like the sound of the Velvet Underground, second time around.” O t h e r f a i n t l y to n g u e - i n - c h e e k turns include covers of Sigur Rós’s ‘Hoppipolla’ (in Icelandic no less) and The Ronnettes’ ‘Be My Baby’. Elsewhere, acoustic versions of singles like ‘The Great Escape’ fail to improve on the originals. A hit-andmiss hotchpotch. [Nick Mitchell]

The hard slog of touring put in by Isis since the release of 20 04’s Panopticon makes this release the most anticipated amongst fans of a band who have traversed their way from the New England underground to being arguably the most revered in the ‘post-metal’ bracket. In the Absence of Truth will leave fans happy, much of their distinct formula is here in abundance: the percussion and bass probes away at the heightening stratospheres of delicate guitar, eventually exposing the gritty death growl of Aaron Turner and the diesel engine heaviness of kick drum and distortion married in thunder. Some conspicuous electronic elements in tracks like ‘Wrists of Kings’ and ‘All out of Time, All into Space’ suggest innovative twists on the tried and tested blueprint, but the time honoured ‘quiet-loud’ progressions of ‘Over Root and Thorn’ still stand out. An album of great merits but not likely to wow anyone who wasn’t won by the classic Oceanic of 2002. [Jamie Borthwick]

CRAP ATTACK

OUT NOW

IN THE ABSENCE OF TRUTH

When sour human relationships are a minefield of uncomfortable and raw emotions, the need for companionship often drives many to some kind of socially-encouraged insanity and there has been much music born of this fact. The relationship between Josh Graham (of post-metal soundscapers Red Sparowes) and the ferocious demon version of Bjork (Julie Christmas of Made Out Of Babies) is clearly tumultuous, and the main drive of this album. Musically it is equally a clash between the Sparowes’ vast sonic narratives and MOOB’s caterwauling, juggernaut assault, but is somehow less satisfying than either of those individual entities. Its intensity is mostly lyrical and it is a difficult listen, but if you just so happen to have emerged from a tear-stained relationship, needless to say, it’s not something you’ll want to listen to right now. (Ali Maloney)

WWW.WEARESCIENTISTS.COM

OUT NOW

The fully-fledged yuletide record is not a disposable acquisition. It instantly stigmatises - you become that person who loves the smell of pine in the lounge and has overblown Santa Claus effigies on your rooftop. This LP allows your icecool indie status will remain intact. This CD of festive covers and originals by eleven unsigned acts is lovingly gift wrapped by the delightful KIDS label. Findlay Brown’s rendition of Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’ is beautiful, whist Mighty Sixty Nine transform ‘White Christmas’ into a gloriously preened Morrissey-esque fireside lament. Oppenheimer’s ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ is the stunning highlight; dreamily encapsulating Spektor’s snow-drift splendour. [Billy Hamilton]

WWW.NEUROT.COM

WWW.ALUMIIINIUM.COM

RELEASE DATE: 11 DEC.

TOP

FEATURED ALBUM

current influx of solo six stringers during this hellish industry-driven quest for a palatable Jeff Buckleya-like needn’t turn the non-believers against the idea of zoning out to the soothing sounds of one man and his acoustic. With a similar brooding quality to that of Fence’s Pictish Trail, Fritz delivers the darkest of lyrical materials with finger picking finesse and mesmerising depth. Whistling a carefree introductory melody, ‘Memory Man’ is only vaguely indicative of the melancholy to follow. With an ensuing vocal rollercoaster that fleets between a bass baritone (‘Nosferatu’) and a distinctly higher upper range (‘Pizza Pus’), Fritz manipulates his songs by twisting them into a series of hauntingly atmospheric acoustic lullabies. As a result, Field Reports consistently resists the one dimensional blur that many a folk record struggles to pry away from. This is candid mood music that may occasionally appear blunt, but luckily it’s not, y’know, Blunt. [Dave Kerr]

ALUMINIUM ALUMINIUM

The brainchild of Richard Russell, founder of XL Records, Aluminium is a passionate project which has birthed ten avant garde orchestral recordings of classic White Stripes tracks. This is no mere vanit y project, in fact it’s a hugely enjoyable and impressive re-imagining, spanning all of the band’s output but with an emphasis on their lesser known, earlier albums. What were previously sparse, raw blasts of sonic energy or simple acoustic ditties have been transformed into technicolour romps that excite the imagination in the same way as the classic film and TV soundtracks of the 1970s. The reinvigorated pizazz of ‘Astro’ and ‘The Hardest Button to Button’ also serve as a timely reminder of the once mercurial talent of Jack White, now that he seems content in playing hoary rock God with the Raconteurs. [Milo McLaughlin]

1. ACOUSTIC LADYLAND - ‘SKINNY GRIN’ (V2) 2. UNCLE FRITZ - ‘FIELD REPORTS’ (PET PIRANHA)

WWW.SGNL05.COM

There are few more idyllic locations than Edinburgh at Christmas. Illuminated by Princes Street Gardens’ glistening fairy-lights, the nation’s Capital is transformed into a real life Winter Wonderland. From the rosy cheeked bustle of its traditional German market to the seasonal splendour of the Big Wheel, Auld Reekie wholeheartedly embraces the festive spirit.

brisk, ascending melodies. Tracks like ‘Venom’ are laden with introspective verses embedded in a rash of endorphin inducing hooks. “The Rushes epitomise a release in music. It’s about building up to a certain point and hitting one moment of sheer intensity,” Danny says reticently. “Each song has a vision; a longing for something that’s lost - it’s quite self-deprecating really.”

But in a Royal Mile tavern, far removed from the city’s picturesque idealism, The Rushes’ frontman Danny Abercrombie is waxing lyrical to The Skinny over a glass of yuletide cheer: “So many folk love Christmas but don’t know what it means. Why celebrate it if you don’t care what it’s about?” he says vehemently. “I’m going to write a Christmas tune about the day Christ was born – that’ll shut people up.”

Having supported artists like The Fratellis and The Kooks, Danny believes the group is close to breaking into the national circuit. “I think we’re better than most of the established bands we’ve played with,” he proclaims. “We blew The Boyfriends and New Young Pony Club off-stage. We had so much more energy for the crowd to feed off. We just want to be out there playing to those crowds and getting that kind of coverage.” In seeking this exposure Danny has quickly discovered the calculated nature of the music industry. “To be successful we need to get the right media coverage,” he deduces. “The I Fly Spitfires EP gave us a chance to tap into people and we were lucky enough to have it played on national radio stations. But it sometimes feels like a horrible marketing process – I suppose you just need to do it to get the music out there.

Such resolute statements typify a new generation of bands so ravished for success they’ll compromise their grandmother for a sniff of a soundbite. But The Rushes are different: their chugging riffs surge with passion; every trembling bassline is charged with emotion; and the gravelled vocals are fuelled with insatiable pride. Instead of aspiring to glorious gratification, the Edinburgh quintet is driven by ardent integrity and a burning desire to succeed. Fiercely loyal to his Edinburgh roots, Danny acknowledges the effect the city’s cultural juxtaposition has had on the band’s sonic direction. He says: “Edinburgh has made a massive impact on us. The contrast between the lifestyle of the old and new town captures what we do perfectly. There’s two sides to our sound; it’s almost schizophrenic, like Jekyll and Hyde.” Paralleling Dr. Jekyll’s bipolar behaviour, The Rushes’ songwriting displays a creative duality that combines contemplative lyrics with

by Billy Hamilton

As 2006 draws to an end Danny sees the new year as an opportunity to venture into more exotic territories: “We need to get a wee break to progress to the next level” he exclaims. “We want to be playing London, Paris and Amsterdam and to go back to these places to crowds of four or five hundred. Basically, next year I want us to succeed and for people to enjoy what we’re doing.”With the festive season in full flow and Santa’s sleigh-bells on the way, it’s clear what gifts The Rushes want to find in their Christmas Day stocking - let’s just hope they behaved themselves this year. WWW.MYSPACE.COM/THERUSHES

THE BEST KIDS CHRISTMAS ALBUM IN THE WORLD… EVER EVER EVER!!! (KIDS)

ONLINE ALBUM REVIEWS ALEXANDER TUCKER - FURROWED BROW (ATP) DAMIEN RICE - ‘9’ (HEFFA) FAVOURITE SONS - DOWN BESIDE YOUR BEAUTY (ATLANTIC RECORDS/VICE RECORDINGS)

3. VARIOUS - ’THE BEST KIDS CHRISTMAS ALBUM IN THE WORLD…EVER

JAMIROQUAI

EVER EVER!!!’ (KIDS)

- ‘HIGH TIMES: SINGLES 1992 - 2006’ (SONY)

3. DEAD OR AMERICAN - ‘ENDS’ (PET PIRANHA / PREDESTINATION)

SOCCER TEAM - VOLUNTEERED CIVILITY

4. BEN FOLDS - ‘SUPERSUNNYSPEEDGRAPHIC, THE LP’ (EPIC)

“I’M GOING TO WRITE A CHRISTMAS TUNE ABOUT THE DAY CHRIST WAS BORN – THAT’LL SHUT PEOPLE UP.”

VARIOUS

(XL)

ALBUMS

OUT NOW

The Rushes

SOUNDS

ALBUM REVIEWS

AND PROFESSIONALISM (DISCHORD)

THE ORDINARY BOYS - ‘HOW TO GET EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED IN TEN EASY STEPS’ (B-UNIQUE)

UNKLE BOB - SUGAR AND SPITE (MOTHER CITY)

WWW.MATADORRECORDS.COM/PAVEMENT

December 06

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December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

GLASGOW

METAL UP YOUR ASS!

THE DEMISE OF THE CHRISTMAS SINGLE

by Jamie Borthwick

SOUNDS

by Billy Hamilton

WHAT’S BECOME OF THE MELODIC CHRISTMAS CRACKER? Noddy Holder is an unlikely seasonal catalyst; his Dickensian demeanour and crazed peanut commercials depict him as an affable, yet unhinged, rogue. But once the Black Country rasp of “It’s Christmas!” rattles over the nation’s decorated treetops, Noddy’s lairy buffoonery incites a month of pound piling debauchery. Along with the Pogues’ ‘Fairytale of New York’, Slade’s ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’ is the soundtrack to every lubricated office knees-up; never failing to stimulate that ‘Christmassy’ feeling. Yet, much like the jolly, present bearing fat-man, these stirring festive anthems have aged without ever being challenged by a sprightlier upstart. So, what’s become of the melodic Christmas cracker?

TV ON THE RADIO - James Gray

ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE MONO, 14 NOV

After disappointing support from Pixies impersonators Trout, Acid Mothers Temple announce themselves with a devastating roar which rapidly resolves into a heavy, repetitious riff. Distorted guitars, spacey electronic sounds, pulsating bass and rapid, imaginative drumming: Acid Mothers take the psychedelic template and extend it beyond reason and into terror. Despite studied foundations - this is music firmly routed in a specific tradition, from Pink Floyd through Krautrock to prog excess - their sheer volume and attack makes AMT’s performance a visceral assault. Few bands could take a single melody and extend it over an hour and still sound vital: even the cerebral Glasgow audience taps its feet and strokes its chin in time to the pounding beat. Songs merge into one another; a woman bows across the monitors for benediction; a guitar is played from a light on the ceiling. Mono’s calm explodes into joyous mayhem before the four shamans leave the stage. [Gareth K Vile] WWW.ACIDMOTHERS.COM

ART BRUT

ABC2, 13 NOV Strutting through now familiar opening AC/DC riffs, Art Brut kick off another aural takeover at ABC2. Hours previously, new single ‘Nag Nag Nag Nag’ is released, a tune which involves Eddie Argos (gasp) singing, even a bit melodically. In the evening, however, Argos is on top form, fortunately minus the John Waters-esque ‘tache and sweating like he just can’t help himself. It must be the art school round the corner. High points are Brut’s ode to sleeping in and missing work, ‘Blame it on the Trains’, and ‘Rusted Gun of Milan’, a hilarious plea/apology for certain bedroom shortcomings. The whole set still punches fresh and Argos’ franchising banter is endearing; the singer imploring for an end to fixating

ISSUE FIFTEEN

on ex-lovers. Still predictable, still ironic, still catchy, and to cap the night off, apparently still worthy of stage-rushing. [David Winton] WWW.ARTBRUT.CO.UK

CALEXICO & BEIRUT ABC, 1 NOV

Playing second fiddle is always a humbling proposition. But when that subordinate viola is ceremoniously hurled to you by its original owner, those lamentable bows seem all the more demeaning. And that’s why sympathy must lie with headliners Calexico. Because, tonight, their brand of Latino soaked country is a paltry match for the engorging orchestral splendour of Zach Condon’s Beirut (4/5). Shuffling on stage with a ramshackle octet of musicians, Condon exudes the fidgeting demeanour of Modern Times era Chaplin. Chest puffed and trumpet blown, he swaggers into the vibrant cajoling of Gulag Orkestar like a swashbuckling admiral scouring Eastern European shores for melodies to conquer. His voice is astonishing; effortlessly fluctuating between Rhineland’s operatic elegance and Mount Wroclai’s indecipherable proclamations, demanding the attention of every quivering neck hair. ‘Postcard’s From Italy’ fails to capture the transient finesse found on record – even with the band’s staggering grasp of interchangeable instrumentation – but the slithering accordion polka of ‘Brazil’ illuminates a triumphant display of vividly exhilarating musical elasticity. It’s what live music should always be: demanding, dramatic and darn-right wonderful. With the ABC’s glitterball still reeling from the tremors of Beirut’s shuddering set, Calexico (2/5) seem hesitant and downbeat when they step to the fore. Continuously switching between candle-lit ballads and tequila induced mariachi stomps, it’s a bewildering and infuriating performance that’s more polished than a Royal’s pristine porcelain. ‘Black Heart’ is the night’s tragic

December 06

ART BRUT - David Winton

tear-jerker, beautifully caressed by the emotive swaying of a sumptuous slide guitar and Joey Burns’ gruff oceanic tones. But these moments of inspired vibrancy all too often fade into the humdrum realms of MOR, leaving the audience detached and apathetic. Calexico may be tonight’s headliners, but in the months to come it’ll be the sound of Beirut that fiddles its way into your heart. [Billy Hamilton]

CANSEI DE SER SEXY ABC1, 7 NOV

CSS rode into town on a wave of hype and stories of good time gals rocking out. Those in the know talked of dynamic stage shows with outlandish behaviour and general Brazilian exuberance. Not to denigrate this rambunctious band of electro loving maidens of punk, but somehow the fizz seems to have gone out of the CSS experience. It’s easy to be a bit suspicious of the one with the moustache, adroitly swapping instruments and pulling the strings. The singer’s antics are so eye catching that this normally doesn’t matter but it was telling tonight that the song most of the crowd had come to hear (‘Let‘s Make Love’) was played mostly from a backing track. CSS provide a welcome break from the dour indie brigade but they may have burned a little too brightly and should now pass the mantle on. [Dave Reid] WWW.CANSEIDESERSEXY.COM

JET

BARROWLANDS, 1 NOV With several massive hits from first album Get Born breaking Jet on the worldwide stage, the Barrowlands was a relatively small venue for this gig, and it was rammed. Proceedings kicked off with a few less well-known numbers that failed to inspire a crowd vibrating with anticipation, fuelling the oft-witnessed criticism that Jet are just a poor imitation of the rock legends that have

so heavily influenced them. Then first single ‘Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is’, from new album Shine On, exploded from the stage, drummer Chris Cester had his shirt off, brother Nick was screaming like a banshee and the crowd erupted. From then on in it was rock perfection: all the hits and some new soon-to-be-hits, delivered with the self-assured arrogance of true rock stars. Whether or not they are too derivative to have any musical credibility will always be debated, but live, there is no doubt that Jet are one of the finest rock bands on the planet. [Xavier Toby] WWW.JETTHEBAND.COM

YOU SAY PARTY, WE SAY DIE NICE’N’SLEAZY, 12 NOV

Finally we have proof that human cloning has begun. And they’ve started with Brian from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Similarities to bespectacled drummers aside, openers We Are The Physics are a frenzy of jerky guitars, synchronised handclaps and flailing limbs which move in apparent isolation from the rest of their bodies. In short, a frenetic delight. The frantic pace continues unabated with the Victorian English Gentleman’s Club. As the name suggests they are a quintessentially British experience. Like a Carry On film they entertain with bass-driven, foot-stomping fun without ever taking themselves too seriously. By the time the booty-shaking, maskwearing, ceiling-punching extravaganza that is YSPWSD takes to the stage the crowd could be forgiven for sitting down and having a rest. Fortunately they don’t. Instead they join in enthusiastically, singing along and shaking the sacred tambourine. And then everyone danced all the way home. Probably. [Taliska Burgess] MYSPACE.COM/YOUSAYPARTYWESAYDIE

YOU SAY PARTY, WE SAY DIE - Neil Douglas

TV ON THE RADIO ABC, 8 NOV

Salvation is often found unexpectedly. And in TV on the Radio, tonight’s iniquitous crowd discovers a liberating ray of light amidst a spectrum of avant-garde jazz and distorted funk freak outs. More gregarious than the caustic abrasiveness of Return To Cookie Mountain, the New York ensemble displays a penchant for striding, muscular riffs and tribal drum-loops without restraining their exhilarating sonic discord. Front-man Tunde Adebimpe

piously preaches with the presence of a frenzied Gil Scott-Heron, transforming ‘Method’ into a gravel pit of stripped down gospel blues. The rugged trajectory of ‘Wolf Like Me’ sears full throttle into the heart of the enraptured disciples before alleviating any limb-flailing induced lacerations with ‘Let The Devil In’s sinuous shamanism. Closing with ‘Staring At The Sun’, the band takes one final step towards a higher plateau - leaving the ABC’s sinners sensorially impaired and spiritually redeemed. [Billy Hamilton] WWW.TVONTHERADIO.COM

THE GLASGOW SCHOOL by Gareth K Vile

EVERYTHING FROM FREE JAZZ THROUGH TO PERFECT POP IS ECHOING THROUGH THE HALLS BEDECKED WITH HOLLY While Christmas is the season of celebration, Glasgow’s music scene will be mourning the departure of two of its most original acts in recent times: Uncle John and Whitelock and Arab Strap are both playing their fa rewel l gigs. A lthough the Strap hail from Falkirk, their inventiveness and poetry has captured a strand of Glaswegian nightlife in vivid yet blurry detail while Uncle John have delivered a unique West Coast zombie blues. They play the ABC on the 4th and King Tut’s on the 23rd respectively. Another relative this time Unkle Bob - promotes a new album while The hardest working band in Scotland, We Are the Physics, drop into Tut’s on boxing day. Meanwhile, the Arches sees Scottish supergroup Four Good Men recall Simple Minds, Big Country and, less impressively, H2O. They play on the 29th.

Feat u r i ng Pop Up, Yel low Bentines and the acclaimed folk of James Yorkston, free tickets are available exclusively from Sound Control on Otago Street. B e yo n d l i v e p e r f o r m a n c e , Glasgow’s indigenous record companies are keeping the flame burning for experimental and independent rock: David Keenan’s Volcanic Tongue has opened up a store on the Great Western Road, while Drive Carefully Records build on their early successes with a monthly night at the 13th Note.

If the surfeit of major bands is too much, there are undiscovere d loca l t reasu res h id i ng away in the racks of Mono or Avalanche and performing in the cellars of the West End and Merchant City. The proliferation of scenes and associated bands is remarkable - with everything from free jazz through to perfect One highlight of the December pop echoing through the halls programme is the Versacoustic bedecked with holly. night at the Goat on the 6th.

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With artists like Bob The Builder and the slightly less dextrous Shayne Ward topping the St. Nick’s day chart, there’s been no overtly festive Christmas number one since Cliff Richard’s abominable ‘Saviours Day’ in 1990 (ignoring Band Aid 20’s woeful 2004 reprise of ‘Do The Know It’s Christmas?’). As convenient as it is to holler “Scrooge!” in the direction of Mr Cowell and those cash hoarding record labels, the demise of the seasonal hit does not rest entirely on the shoulders of novelty acts and reality TV winners.

There was a time when Christmas singles were indicative of musicians at the height of their creative powers. Transforming naff yuletide sentiments into credible pop songs was an art-form only the stellar could perfect. From John & Yoko’s ideological ‘Happy Xmas (War Is Over)’ to Elton’s gloriously extravagant ‘Step Into Christmas’, a festive record was the totem of any artist’s back catalogue. In today’s impregnably cool climate it’s impossible to envisage Razorlight’s Johnny Borrell slipping on a Santa suit and effusing about mulled wine and roasted chestnuts. This stomach-churning image may have you wrenching up your turkey, but in the race for 2006’s Christmas Number One there seems to be no place for traditional season’s greetings. X Factor’s victor is the inevitable bookies favourite, leaving Take That’s ‘Patience’ and All Angels’ rendition of Robbie Williams’ ‘Angels’ to languish in its wake. With Sir Cliff’s hideous Brian May and Daniel O’ Donnell collaborations destined for failure, the King Street Kids’ ‘As Christmas Day Draws Near’ is the only contender to exude the essence of Christmas. Considering this lack of festive cheer, perhaps it’s not too late for Noddy to spit out those nuts and show us all how the Christmas single really should be done.

Lostprophets

WHAT ELSE COULD SANTA POSSIBLY HAVE IN HIS SACK THAT BEATS THIS LINE-UP? Ding dong merrily on high, the crowds are still head-banging. We’re dreaming of a black Christmas here at Metal Up Yer Ass, with the best of touring and local acts coming your way in the month of December. On the 1st AZRIEL and guests slam down Glasgow’s

Cathouse for festive metal frolics from 7pm. On Sunday the 3rd, Welsh champions of the mainstream LOSTPROPHETS perform to the Edinburgh Corn Exchange with a number of their heartfelt rocking chart hits. Tickets cost £16.50. A Saturday night of blistering speed metal awaits fans of fleet-fretted solo junkies DRAGONFORCE

at Barrowlands on December 9th and Studio 24 in Edinburgh hosts SKINDRED on the 10th, with local support from THE SUMMER THEY ALL WENT MAD. On Thursday the 14th there are performances from the highly recommended ALROSA and Edinburgh’s SECTA ROUGE at The Vale in Glasgow and THE COLD DEAD HANDS COLLECTIVE dishes out an early Christmas present to giggoers on Saturday the 23rd at Edinburgh’s 3 Tuns, with a free entry gig including explosive technical hardcore act FRIDAY NIGHT GUNFIGHT. What else could Santa possibly have in his sack that beats that line-up?

Lights. Action! by Neil Ferguson

“WE’LL ALWAYS BE THE OUTSIDERS, BUT WE LIKE THAT.” “What’s the point of aspiring to play a 150 capacity venue?” muses Karl Bareham. It’s a stark beginning, but the ambitions of his band, Lights. Action! are not necessarily those of your average rock outfit. “We want our songs to still be relevant in 20 years time,” he tells The Skinny, “that is our ultimate goal, to make a difference.” There’s a flutter of portentousness in the way Karl talks, but from the off, Lights. Action! make it clear that they will never be content to become just another rock band. “We aren’t scared of saying we want to sell records,” he says, “there’s nothing wrong with that.” Karl discusses Lights. Action! in a way that betrays their, as yet, unsigned status. With all of the band either financially struggling or holding down day jobs, he still speaks of the ‘business decisions’ of signing to small labels and lays down a series of attacks towards the global rock scene. “Ultimately, great music will always outlast a bunch of posers who can’t play properly,” he asserts, “that’s the reason why The Beatles, U2, etc. have sold millions of records.” With a sound that wavers on the verges of all that is mainstream, Karl doesn’t talk about success as a possibility, but as a certainty. With comparisons ranging from The Killers to the Foo Fighters, one listen to Lights. Action! leaves the listener understanding why. Filled to

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the brim with huge hooks and atmospheric synths, the attachment to pop music is touched on as directly as rock music. “You can learn so much form pop music, take ideas and adapt them to something that will work for you in your own context.” It’s an easy formula, but Karl takes no steps to defend it, resolutely stating his belief that, “it just so happens that what we like is generally thought of as accessible.” There’s something about Lights. Action! that is laden with the same cocky flare on which so much rock music is inherently based, from their stance on fashion in music to their treatment of the press, they have an unfaltering belief in themselves and what they do. Pointing to the differences that subtly define them from their contemporaries, rather than the glaring similarities, it’s impossible to miss the irony when Karl closes by saying, “we’ll always be the outsiders, but we like that.” LIGHTS. ACTION! PLAY BARFLY, GLASGOW ON 10 DEC. WWW.MYSPACE.COM/LIGHTSACTIONBAND

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SOUNDS

ARAB STRAP & CHEMIKAL UNDERGROUND

- There is No Ending

here’s only ever been one press photo released of Aidan Moffat without a beard. His image - green parka, head swaddled in thick black hair playing records at Nice’n’Sleazy’s or enjoying some al fresco fish and chips - hasn’t really changed since Steve Lamacq first played their debut single ‘First Big Weekend’. Now they’re splitting up and Mr Moffat’s as hirsute as ever. Is his image a Samson and Delilah thing? ”I decided as a young man I would never shave again,” he says. “I don’t know if I’d lose any power and I doubt that I’ll ever find that out.”

altogether more unsettling. Aidan mumbled, sang or pseudo-rapped about the dole, Merrydown Cider, ecstasy and The Arches in his Falkirk burr, winning the affection of almost everyone with

signed Aidan’s lyrics suggested he was, there was a seemingly endless supply of romances to moan about. “All what women?” he says when The Skinny asks what his secret is. “Most of the

Along with Chicago, in the nineties Glasgow was an undisputed epicentre of the avant-leaning post rock scene, which scrapped the hackneyed traditions of rock’n’roll for an entirely new approach. It seems unlikely in the current cultural climate, in which Glasgow bands have been swotting up on Postcard Records reissues, but the Arab Strap and their Chemikal Underground label mates Mogwai were heavily influenced by American music. “Most of Mogwai and myself had a borderline obsessive appreciation of Slint. Maybe that had something to do with how we all ended up sounding.”

lines like ‘You know I’m always moaning, But you jumpstart my serotonin.’ But are Arab Strap really as melancholy as they appear? “I’ve always been drawn to sad songs and songs of longing, ever since I was young and I took a shine to Motown. I think I was born dark.”

Eschewing the cutesy pop of The Pastels, Teenage Fanclub or Belle and Sebastian, Arab Strap were

One puzzling contradiction in Arab Strap songs was, considering how bitter, sad, angry or re-

Nighty Night....

Road Warriors

uthors of the greatest song in the world? Practitioners of the cock pushup? The D odyssey continues with their recently released debut film and accompanying soundtrack, The Pick of Destiny . The Skinny threw Jack Black and Kyle Gass a few curve balls just before they roll through town to let all comedy folk-metal hell loose on Glasgow.. SO IN THE NEW MOVIE DIO, MEATLOAF AND THE D MEET ON SCREEN, CAN THE WORLD REALLY HANDLE THIS MUCH UNADULTERATED RAWK? EXACTLY WHO CARRIES THE TORCH IN THE PICK OF DESTINY?

morally ambiguous. Very few men write songs about being vulnerable, and those who do sound pretty pathetic. Hopefully I’ve found a balance somewhere.” But this is the end for Arab Strap. Their final compilation, Ten Years of Tears, is out. They will be performing for the final time at the Glasgow ABC on the 4th. Aidan seems upbeat about the end of his band, keen to stress that he’ll continue making music. His band mate, Malcolm Middleton, once described by the NME as the Mark Knopfler of post-rock, has already released two fantastic albums, winning fans as unlikely as Kelly Osbourne. Aidan has a third installment of his Lucky Pierre project, named after the man in the middle of a threesome, out soon. Collaborations with Ian Rankin and David Shrigley are also due. Unfortunately, there are no plans for any more of Aidan’s weepy karaoke. “It’s very difficult to find a karaoke machine that has all the sad songs. It just ends up like a hen party.“

It is arguable that, at least in the pre-Kapranos days, Moffat was one of the most famous gents in Scotland, reaching number twenty five in The Scotsman‘s Most Eligible Men list in 2002. Justin and Colin he most certainly is not. So how did a man and his band, together with their relish for sadness, tonic wine and self-deprecation, become one of Scotland’s most dearly loved exports?

by Jasper Hamill

JB: I’d have to say completing this film together, releasing the soundtrack AND getting on the road all in one is the best thing to happen so far… there hasn’t been this much anticipation about a film since Boston’s comeback. Next we’re gonna do a covers album and that’ll be really fascinating… I’m thinking about a full on classical rock album

Jack Black: It’s a battle but we win out I think... KG: …well we’re definitely the best looking guys in the film. JB: For sure… Meatloaf does look a lot like me which is why I wanted him to play my dad. He’s got my looks and my extraordinary talent. KG: Yeah, I think there’s no real competition in this film to carry the torch. There’s just a lot of big man love going around, which you’ll see when you watch it. Big men, big love. JB: Well, we’re all big except Dio, he’s short… but like I always say - good, hard metal can come in small packages.

by Jasper Hamill

LAST WEEK MIKE AND HIS BAND MATES WERE UP A TREE, PLAYING A STRANGE INSTRUMENT CALLED A STRUMSTICK TO AN AUDIENCE OF TINY LITTLE HORSES... The lead singer of the Pendulums lives in a house surrounded by things that go bing, bong and bang. On the walls are swirling psychedelic posters for their gigs and happenings, featuring pirate ships afloat on a dark sea, squads of pie-eyed gnomes and grinning moons. Piled up are the masks they wear for their Halloween love-ins: huge badger and moon masks, a wizard hat, a pair of Orbital glasses with little lights. Finally, to complete the picture, the door to their close has a sign that reads ‘Please don’t let the little black cat out, no matter how much he begs or pays you.’ In this wiggy place, the vibe is as much 1965 as it is 1565. And that’s just Mike’s house. Trombonist, drummer and Jew’s Harpist John has moved out of the fire engine he used to occupy. He’s now taken a room in a medieval tower in the middle of a turnip field, part of a commune near Fife. Their other singer, who has a passion for Baroque, is opera singing down in London. The Skinny’s access to the house is to get a feel for the Pendulums strange, delightful way of doing things. Rather than practicing in sterile studio spaces, they have adventures and then sing about them. Last week Mike and his band mates were up a tree, playing a strange instrument called a

another mile. We put a disco ball up on a tree and danced under the stars” says Mike.

strumstick to an audience of tiny little horses. In case I didn’t believe him, he gives me a blast of the song they improvised, called, fittingly enough, ‘Tiny Little Horses’. Except it’s sung in Norwegian. They wrote the song ‘Moon Mountain’ after rushing down a mountain on a snowy day, reaching the bottom just as the moon emerged and all

spontaneously launching into its refrain. Even better, their album, which is perhaps the most diverse, odd and exciting you’re ever likely to hear from an unsigned band, was launched in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. “We told all our friends to come and they had to take one train, walk half a mile, take another and then walk

The stories and star gazing romanticism of The Pendulums are exciting enough. The music is even more so, incorporating neo-psychedelic organs, an array of instruments from Jew’s Harps to trombones, a few operatic swan-dives and melodies that seem to be familiar from the deepest part of your psyche. They sound like the psych of the sixties, the electronica of the nineties and the baroque of the seventeenth century. Seemingly accidentally, The Pendulums, like their heroes Fairport Convention, have ended up - paraphrasing The Thirteenth Elevators - in a time of their own. Listen to the MySpace stuff for a taster: the parping weirdness of ‘Brand New Song,’ the strange whimsy of ‘Green Hat.’ You can even buy the self-released album, with its odd, magical cover art, in Monorail or Fopp. The Pendulums are the sort of band your parents would have danced naked to, your ancestors would have had orgies to, or your children would embrace as the sound of the future. They’ve started their own little time continuum on Woodlands Road. No mean feat we think. MYSPACE.COM/THEPENDULUMS

www.kingtuts.co.uk 272 St Vincent Street, Glasgow Telephone: 0141 221 5279

ARAB STRAP PLAY CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH ON 1 DEC AND ABC, GLASGOW ON 4 DEC. WWW.ARABSTRAP.CO.UK

by Dave Kerr

INDEED, AND AS ONE OF THE PIONEERING (AND PERHAPS ONLY) ACTS IN THE FOLK-METAL SCENE, WHAT’S THE MOST FASCINATING THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU ALONG THE WAY THUS FAR?

Kyle Gas : Whoever finds the pick carries the torch!

songs are about a core group of about four exgirlfriends, but it is certainly all true… There’s no secret, just persevere until you become a nuisance and women will shag you just to get rid of you!” Love songs rarely come in a form as cutting, brutal and raw as Arab Strap’s. The characters presented by Arab Strap are rarely positive: “Everyone is at fault in my songs, myself included, and the songs were always meant to be

Chemikal Underground are also moving on, with a brand new studio opened in the hinterlands of Glasgow and fantastic signings like Mother and the Addicts and De Rosa. Things are changing: Arab Strap’s last album even has a few cheerful moments. Aidan says: “Well, we’ve had our moments of happiness. The intention was to represent all we’d done together, and that includes our uncharacteristically cheerful moments.”

The Pendulums

SOUNDS

“IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND A KARAOKE MACHINE THAT HAS ALL THE SAD SONGS, IT JUST ENDS UP LIKE A HEN PARTY.“ - AIDAN MOFFAT

where we take on Mozart, Bach and Beethoven with new lyrics written by us. It’ll be like Switched-on Bach but a hell of a lot louder! KG: I think we’ve also got a lot of mileage left for something really awesome to happen, like we were thinking of how we can make our UK tour the best tour in the world… JB: You mentioned doing a live crucifixion! KG: I mentioned a lot of stuff I can’t say in this

interview. Basically, the shows are going to be wild. We’ll probably get arreste JB: People will be shouting “Judas” from the audience! YOU TWO SEEM TO HAVE A LOT OF LOVE FOR THE ROAD AND THE PICK OF DESTINY IS BIG ON ADVENTURE. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ADVENTURE MOVIE OF ALL TIME? JB : Probably Road Warrior or Romancing The Stone. KG: Dude, definitely Road Warrio. It’s just a classic. It’s all about a quest and that’s why I dig it. It’s the search for fulfilment - it’s definitely the best out of the Mad Max movie JB: I think The Pick Of Destiny will be remembered as one of the greatest adventure films of all time. It’ll mature with time like a fine wine… KG: It’ll be like Spinal Tap, which just gets better the more times you watch it. JB: Yeah, my movie is my favourite movie - I’m my favourite actor and musician and I wish I could have sex with myself! KG: I can… you can’t do that? JB: I’m working on it… TENACIOUS D PLAY SECC, GLASGOW ON 11 DEC THE PICK OF DESTINY IS OUT NOW ON COLUMBIA. WWW.TENACIOUSD.COM

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

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December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SOUNDS

The SKINNYsoundtrack to 2006

THERE’S NOTHING QUITE LIKE A RAGING BRAWL ABOUT WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD MUSIC TO GET THE OLD ADRENALINE PUMPING AT SKINNY HQ: STONES OR STROKES? FANTOMAS OR FORNBY? BEASTIES OR BELAFONTE? WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY, THE SOUNDS TEAM WERE AT IT AGAIN FOR THE SIMPLE SAKE OF FIGURING OUT WHO HAD RECORDED THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR. YOU KNOW WE ALL EMERGED FROM THE EXPERIENCE A PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY BATTERED AND BRUISED MESS, BUT WE GOT THE RESULTS AND EVEN HAD A WEE BLETHER WITH THE MAKERS OF SOME OF THE RECORDS WE DUG IN 2006. BEHOLD, THE SKINNY’S SECOND SELF-INDULGENT END OF YEAR ALBUM POLL...

TV On The Radio are spreading the word about their second album, Return To Cookie Mountain, the best album we’ve heard all year and, delighted as The Skinny are to talk to frontman Tunde Adebimpe, he sounds equally delighted to hear we like his album so much. “Ah that’s great!” he exclaims. “Thank you for saying that man, that’s totally awesome! Thank you just for listening to the record, that’s the main thing!” Alas, with no priceless golden statue to present in recognition, we do extract a promise (of sorts) to return to Scotland during their next European tour with an incentive just as appealing – a specially-inscribed giant plank of shortbread. “We’ll keep space for that, for the shortbread!” he says. Job done. In the meantime there’s still plenty of time to enjoy 2006’s greatest achievement. Endlessly inventive and energetic, Return To Cookie Mountain is disorientating at first, but with each listen it unravels layer by layer until it makes perfect sense. The lyrics, often sung by Tunde

YEAH YEAH YEAHS

SHOW YOUR BONES (POLYDOR)

It was always going to be hard to top Fever to Tell – an album that has grown to define the New York rock explosion of a few years back, and live this band is hard to better. First single, ‘Gold Lion’, grabbed the radio play it deserved, and Show Your Bones has the trademark Yeah Yeah Yeah’s sound throughout, albeit without the raw, primal passion of its predecessor. It still rocks hard, to the point of being far superior to the waft of indie wannabes crowding the scene at the moment. While a little more subdued, with acoustic guitar appearing on many tracks, it’s not a step into the mainstream, more a shuffle away from the fringes. The acidic lyrics remain, as do the great guitar riffs, lorry-loads of distortion and drums that are belted to within an inch of their skins, confirming Show Your Bones as a triumphant return. [Xavier Toby]

TV On The Radio

ISSUE FIFTEEN

10,000 DAYS (VOLCANO)

and Kyp Malone (providing the falsetto) in gorgeous harmony, vary from the oblique to the seemingly profound, often touching on socio-political themes. With every review putting a different spin on it, Tunde is reluctant to reveal what it’s all really about – “I think that’s up to the individual listener, ultimately.” Whatever your take on the words, the real secret to Cookie Mountain’s success is its musical singularity. No, Rolling Stone, it’s nothing like What’s Going On, Station to Station, or anything by The Smiths. It’s no more, no less and no other - it’s TV On The Radio. David Bowie has made himself known as a fan, and even appears, barely audibly, on the album. What kind of process was involved in attracting such admiration? “For four months of the year in 2005, it was five people locked in a room together talking about events in our lives and in the world and having that canvas, that open space to sit in and make something out of it rather than worrying yourself to death. Some of it was a sketch of something made by Kyp

THE ROOTS

GAME THEORY (DEFJAM)

Philadelphian hip-hop innovators The Roots may have joined the big-bucks Def Jam fraternity, but their latest long-player represents an artistic zenith in a career that always promised but never wholly delivered – until now. Elements of the jazzy Do You Want More?!!!??! and the rap-rock of Phrenology remain, but are augmented here with scuzzy vocal samples (including Radiohead’s ‘You And Whose Army?’ on the heart-breaking ‘Atonement’) and muscular synths. The spirit of freeform experimentation is as impressive as, though stylistically different from, Outkast’s Speakerboxx/The Love Below. Despite their major label status, The Roots were never ones to forget their roots, and Game Theory vindicates this fact, with lyricist Black Thought intelligently lamenting urban deprivation without ever resorting to Eminem-style self-mythologising on tracks like ‘In the Music’. The bar is raised to such an extent that even an eight minute tribute to a lost associate (producer-extraordinaire J Dilla) never appears conceited and demands the sincerest of respect. [Nick Mitchell]

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

December 06

TOOL

TV ON THE RADIO

RETURN OF THE COCKIE MOUNTAIN (4AD) or myself on the four-track, and then we’d give it to the band and say ‘let’s see how we can make this look unfamiliar to ourselves again, but with keeping a familiar thread’. And some tracks were soundscapes that Dave had written and asked if we had lyrics for.” Their first album, Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes won the 2004 Shortlist prize – the American Mercury, essentially – but showed more invention than cohesion. With Return To Cookie Mountain they have found that cohesion, as each tripping drum rhythm, reversed horn jab and droning, distorted foghorn adheres perfectly into 11 stirring soundscapes. So TV on the Radio have earned themselves a time out, but they won’t be resting for long. “After this, everyone’s got other projects that they need to get to. So I think we’re going to take a little break and then get back out on tour pretty soon. We look forward to your giant shortbread!” [Ally Brown]

TAPES N’ TAPES THE LOON (XL)

Tapes ‘n Tapes are anything but original. The badges of their favourite bands are emblematically pinned to every track on debut album The Loon. But when music is this engrossing, a little simulation can take you a long way. On first take, the record is a disappointing ragtag fusion of The Pixies and Pavement, but on closer inspection its cavernous garage sound loses its insularity and unfolds into gregariously unhinged pseudo-punk blues. Frenetic and churning, it’s a refreshing slab of boyish idolism that features vocalist Josh Grier remonstrating like a countrified David Byrne. The effortless ‘Buckle’ splashes like a sun-blushed hybrid of Flaming Lips and The Beach Boys, whilst ‘Crazy Eights’ is a whisky fuelled sludge-fest soaked in a brutal Beefheart riff. Matt Kretzmann acknowledged this dichotomy in interview with The Skinny recently; “We didn’t want to makes it too sugary sweet but at the same time we had to make it listenable from start to finish.” The Loon is a magnetically scuffling record with the power to affect you both aurally and emotionally. They may lack originality but Tapes ‘n Tapes ooze greatness. [Billy Hamilton]

Tapes n’ Tapes

www.skinnymag.co.uk

“Have you really lived 10,000 or more days, or have you lived one day 10,000 or more times?” asked “self-development” guru Wayne Dyer. It’s pretty clear that Maynard James Keenan poses the same question on Tool’s 4th LP. 10,000 Days continues down the epic path beset by 2001’s Lateralus in terms of laying on the crescendo-hunting treacle-thick hooks as often as the mellower ambient trips, and it all gels into a dose of that fleeting, untouchable aspect of what heavy music apparently lacks in 2006. Luring the listener in almost unconditionally, all of the key elements are here and the machine is well oiled. Keenan is in fine voice; Danny Carey and Justin Chancellor bring the rhythm precision to the likes of neck-snapping juggernaut, ‘Jambi’, and the intoxicating drama of the colossal ‘Rosetta Stoned’. Adam Jones squalls like the obsessive virtuoso he is; sometimes with a sitar but almost always to the beat of some elaborate mathematical algorithm. Of their off-kilter song arrangements Carey told The Skinny: “I was raised thinking in those terms; I was always good at geometry.” Ever wish you’d paid a bit more attention in maths? [Dave Kerr]

DEFTONES

SATURDAY NIGHT WRIST (MAVERICK)

On album number five Deftones consolidate their position as the poster boys for credible heavy music with an exhilarating tour de force that dazzles with its confidence and energy. Although the band are working with a limited palette, the scope of their sound is still immense. Sheets of crushing, melodic guitar crash sideways into Moreno’s devestating, chiming vocals, before the music ruptures and pulls apart under the weight of its own intensity, giving way to a series of thunderous, sludgy riffs that manage to push all the right buttons without sounding like second-hand goods. Moreno’s love of eighties rock and pop keeps the vocal lines interesting, while the apocalyptic fervour of tracks like ‘Rapture’ confirm the fact that far from being over the hill, Deftones are a band at the very height of their powers. The embarrassing contribution by Giant Drag’s Annie Hardy on ‘Pink Cellphone’ stops this from getting five skinnys, but this is still one of the albums of the year. [Jay Shukla]

www.skinnymag.co.uk

THE ERASER (XL)

Thom Yorke’s been at pains to dismiss any potential Radiohead split by declaring his solo project, The Eraser, as created with the total blessing of the other four members of the seminal Oxford outfit. Starting with the title track, we’re treated to Four Tet-esque spluttering bleeps and electronically created sounds, combined with lashings of Thom’s obscenely unique voice. Those expecting a Radiohead spin-off - while we all frantically await the 7th album - will be thoroughly disappointed with Thom’s obvious adoration of the electronic sound. Only hints of piano in ‘Analyze’ and the ‘I Might Be Wrong’ styled guitar riffs of ‘Black Swan’ offer the slightest suggestion towards that particular direction. The dark ‘Skip Divided’, and catchy ‘Harrowdown Hill’ are obvious highlights, but then this is an album without lowlights. With Thom at his creative best, The Eraser is an album obviously created by a musical genius. Buy it. [Chris Pickering]

BEIRUT

GULAG ORKESTAR (4AD)

JAMES YORKSTON

YEAR OF THE LEOPARD (DOMINO)

Produced by Paul Webb, aka Rustin Man, The Year of the Leopard has a similarly autumnal atmosphere to his collaboration with Beth Gibbons, Out of Season. It’s an album for the quiet moments, reflecting the line “I live for your quiet embrace” in opener ‘The Summer Song’. This time around Yorkston doesn’t credit The Athletes on the sleeve, probably because he plays most of the instruments himself, including Mandolin, Concertina and Bouzouki, although he is helped out by various members of the Fence Collective. As Yorkston told us, “It’s just like asking my mates. I also had King Creosote and the Lone Pigeon on my first record - I’d be foolish not to.” The subtlety of this instrumentation creates an intimate warmth and calm that can’t help but be contagious, as Yorkston weaves subtle tales of equal intimacy featuring such tender lyrics as “After a long sad day/Your cat recognises my misadventure/she climbed and slept upon my chest/ And she rose and fell with my breathing/Like a sea bird riding a wave.” [Milo McLaughlin]

10.

It’s indicative of global instability when sanctuary can be found in Beirut. And guiding us through the debris of an era ravaged by war and self-gratifying foreign policy is Zach Condon with debut LP ‘The Gulag Orkestar’. From the forlorn, head bowed marching of Prenziauerberg, Condon sores into an enchanting orchestral abyss like a mournful Eastern European traveller. Postcards From Italy flutters with delicate ukulele bristles caressed by gypsy horns whilst Bratislava is a regal stomp of vocal defiance embellished by militaristic drums and Slovak jazz. Awash with musical juxtaposes, it’s an awe-invoking record of cultural beauty that has you shuddering at the thought of slapdash guitars and sloppy production. As After The Curtain fades from memory like the closure of an electronic séance, you’re left emotionally enriched and aurally educated. With the world intent on imploding, the haven of Beirut seems the most comforting place to be. [Billy Hamilton]

Deftones

Tool

THOM YORKE

LIARS

DRUM’S NOT DEAD (MUTE)

If Liars’ chillingly abstruse second album left NYC’s fashionistas scratching their heads in utter bewilderment, then Drum’s Not Dead is surely their attempt to hypnotise these dumbfounded legions and lead them away, Pied Piper style, to some freakish netherworld. Having cut away the flabby, conceptual vestiges of their last record, what now remains of Liars’ sound possesses a limpid, bell-like quality. Bristling noise and urgent tempos are replaced by crystalline melodies and hypnotic, rhythmic drones – the sound of a band that has found its focus. Album highlight ‘The Wrong Coat for You Mt. Heart Attack’ showcases Liars’ newfound embrace of minimalism and restraint; with Angus deploying his minute vocal oscillations over a somnolent bassline to sublime effect. There is an intimacy captured here which sounds almost effortless; a trait which is enhanced by the track’s beautifully awkward descending guitar scale. To hear a band finding their voice is a pleasure, and there are many such moments on this album. [Jay Shukla]

Thom Yorke

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SOUNDS

The SKINNYsoundtrack to 2006

YEAH YEAH YEAHS

SHOW YOUR BONES (POLYDOR)

TV On The Radio

ISSUE FIFTEEN

10,000 DAYS (VOLCANO)

THE ROOTS

GAME THEORY (DEFJAM)

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

December 06

TOOL

TV ON THE RADIO

TAPES N’ TAPES THE LOON (XL)

Tapes n’ Tapes

www.skinnymag.co.uk

DEFTONES

SATURDAY NIGHT WRIST (MAVERICK)

www.skinnymag.co.uk

THE ERASER (XL)

BEIRUT

GULAG ORKESTAR (4AD)

JAMES YORKSTON

YEAR OF THE LEOPARD (DOMINO)

10.

Deftones

Tool

THOM YORKE

LIARS

DRUM’S NOT DEAD (MUTE)

Thom Yorke

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SOUNDS

ARAB STRAP & CHEMIKAL UNDERGROUND

- There is No Ending

altogether more unsettling. Aidan mumbled, sang or pseudo-rapped about the dole, Merrydown Cider, ecstasy and The Arches in his Falkirk burr, winning the affection of almost everyone with

signed Aidan’s lyrics suggested he was, there was a seemingly endless supply of romances to moan about. “All what women?” he says when The Skinny asks what his secret is. “Most of the

Eschewing the cutesy pop of The Pastels, Teenage Fanclub or Belle and Sebastian, Arab Strap were

One puzzling contradiction in Arab Strap songs was, considering how bitter, sad, angry or re-

Nighty Night....

Road Warriors

by Jasper Hamill

another mile. We put a disco ball up on a tree and danced under the stars” says Mike.

www.kingtuts.co.uk 272 St Vincent Street, Glasgow Telephone: 0141 221 5279

ARAB STRAP PLAY CABARET VOLTAIRE, EDINBURGH ON 1 DEC AND ABC, GLASGOW ON 4 DEC. WWW.ARABSTRAP.CO.UK

by Dave Kerr

INDEED, AND AS ONE OF THE PIONEERING (AND PERHAPS ONLY) ACTS IN THE FOLK-METAL SCENE, WHAT’S THE MOST FASCINATING THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU ALONG THE WAY THUS FAR?

Kyle Gas : Whoever finds the pick carries the torch!

The Pendulums

SOUNDS

“IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND A KARAOKE MACHINE THAT HAS ALL THE SAD SONGS, IT JUST ENDS UP LIKE A HEN PARTY.“ - AIDAN MOFFAT

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

GLASGOW

METAL UP YOUR ASS!

THE DEMISE OF THE CHRISTMAS SINGLE

by Jamie Borthwick

SOUNDS

by Billy Hamilton

TV ON THE RADIO - James Gray

ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE MONO, 14 NOV

ART BRUT

ISSUE FIFTEEN

on ex-lovers. Still predictable, still ironic, still catchy, and to cap the night off, apparently still worthy of stage-rushing. [David Winton] WWW.ARTBRUT.CO.UK

CALEXICO & BEIRUT ABC, 1 NOV

December 06

ART BRUT - David Winton

CANSEI DE SER SEXY ABC1, 7 NOV

JET

YOU SAY PARTY, WE SAY DIE NICE’N’SLEAZY, 12 NOV

YOU SAY PARTY, WE SAY DIE - Neil Douglas

TV ON THE RADIO ABC, 8 NOV

THE GLASGOW SCHOOL by Gareth K Vile

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Lostprophets

Lights. Action! by Neil Ferguson

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SOUNDS ACOUSTIC LADYLAND SKINNY GRIN (V2)

BEN FOLDS

SUPERSUNNYSPEEDGRAPHIC, THE LP (EPIC)

a revelation, it’s exactly what you’d expect from Ben Folds: catchy, fun and completely bemusing. [Billy Hamilton] OUT NOW WWW.BENFOLDS.COM

DEAD OR AMERICAN ENDS

(PET PIRANHA / PREDESTINATION)

SNOWDEN ANTI-ANTI (JADE TREE)

YOURCODENAMEIS: MILO PRINT IS DEAD VOL. 1 (V2)

UNCLE FRITZ FIELD REPORTS (PET PIRANHA)

Dundonian singer/songwriter Fraser Stewart (Alamos, Perineum), AKA Uncle Fritz provides further proof that the

ISSUE FIFTEEN

OUT NOW WWW.RESONANCESTORE.COM/PETPIRANHA WWW.PETPIRANHA.COM/YOURUNCLEFRITZ

BATTLE OF MICE A DAY OF NIGHTS (NEUROT)

WE ARE SCIENTISTS

ISIS

(VIRGIN)

(IPECAC)

CRAP ATTACK

OUT NOW

IN THE ABSENCE OF TRUTH

WWW.WEARESCIENTISTS.COM

OUT NOW

WWW.NEUROT.COM

WWW.ALUMIIINIUM.COM

RELEASE DATE: 11 DEC.

TOP

FEATURED ALBUM

ALUMINIUM ALUMINIUM

1. ACOUSTIC LADYLAND - ‘SKINNY GRIN’ (V2) 2. UNCLE FRITZ - ‘FIELD REPORTS’ (PET PIRANHA)

WWW.SGNL05.COM

by Billy Hamilton

THE BEST KIDS CHRISTMAS ALBUM IN THE WORLD… EVER EVER EVER!!! (KIDS)

ONLINE ALBUM REVIEWS ALEXANDER TUCKER - FURROWED BROW (ATP) DAMIEN RICE - ‘9’ (HEFFA) FAVOURITE SONS - DOWN BESIDE YOUR BEAUTY (ATLANTIC RECORDS/VICE RECORDINGS)

3. VARIOUS - ’THE BEST KIDS CHRISTMAS ALBUM IN THE WORLD…EVER

JAMIROQUAI

EVER EVER!!!’ (KIDS)

- ‘HIGH TIMES: SINGLES 1992 - 2006’ (SONY)

3. DEAD OR AMERICAN - ‘ENDS’ (PET PIRANHA / PREDESTINATION)

SOCCER TEAM - VOLUNTEERED CIVILITY

4. BEN FOLDS - ‘SUPERSUNNYSPEEDGRAPHIC, THE LP’ (EPIC)

“I’M GOING TO WRITE A CHRISTMAS TUNE ABOUT THE DAY CHRIST WAS BORN – THAT’LL SHUT PEOPLE UP.”

VARIOUS

(XL)

ALBUMS

OUT NOW

The Rushes

SOUNDS

ALBUM REVIEWS

AND PROFESSIONALISM (DISCHORD)

THE ORDINARY BOYS - ‘HOW TO GET EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED IN TEN EASY STEPS’ (B-UNIQUE)

UNKLE BOB - SUGAR AND SPITE (MOTHER CITY)

WWW.MATADORRECORDS.COM/PAVEMENT

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

EDINBURGH

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL:

SL Records by Milo McLaughlin

MARY GAUTHIER - www.fisherphotographics.co.uk

WARCHILD BENEFIT BANNERMANS, 4 NOV

ISSUE FIFTEEN

ISA AND THE FILTHY TONGUES CABARET VOLTAIRE, 10 NOV

TAPES ‘N TAPES - Jane Fenton

MARY GAUTHIER

CABARET VOLTAIRE, 7 NOV

RANCID

December 06

TAPES ‘N TAPES

THE DATSUNS

SOUNDS

appearing in the video (filmed for BBC Scotland’s The Music Show), along with another famous fan, Ian Rankin.

THE SL/SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY CHRISTMAS PARTY IS HELD AT THE BONGO CLUB, EDINBURGH ON 17 DEC. WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SLRECORDS

THE DATSUNS - Kristin Amilic

BOSSK

BALLBOY

photo: Jim Lambie

WWW.BOSSKONLINE.CO.UK

by Dave Kerr

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SINGLE REVIEWS

DANANANAYKROYD SOME DRESSES

(JEALOUS RECORDS)

GET CAPE. WEAR ,CAPE. FLY WAR OF THE WORLDS

(ATLANTIC)

Rice. It could even be Nizlopi and it becomes instantly forgettable as a result. [Neil Ferguson] OUT NOW WWW.GETCAPEWEARCAPEFLY.CO.UK

KIDDO

135 DAYS EP

(SELF RELEASED)

WWW.K-O-O-P.COM

MUSE

KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA

(WARNER)

OUT NOW

KOOP

COME TO ME

I WAS A CUB SCOUT

(K7)

PINK SQUARES / TEENAGE SKIN

(ABEANO)

Despite defining their sound as “romantic techno,” there’s nothing techno about I Was A Cub Scout. They use keyboards, but their in-

WWW.IWASACUBSCOUT.COM

CRASH MY MODEL CAR MAYBE (MY DAD RECORDINGS)

STATIC (SAVAGE RECORDINGS)

ROSE KEMP

DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SLEEPINGSTATES

DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.MAKEITHAPPEN.ORG/THEHAIR.HTML

TOP

TWILIGHT SINGERS - A STITCH IN TIME EP (ONE LITTLE INDIAN)

JOSH RITTER

GIRL IN THE WAR EP (V2)

December 06

EDINBURGH

GLASGOW

MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD – this band is an

DUELS will bewitch

CABARET VOLTAIRE with their swooning, melodic rock and

OUT NOW. WWW.JOSHRITTER.COM

WHITE ROSE MOVEMENT play

DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.HOME-TAPES.COM/MP3/REDEAGLE.MP3

illustration Neale McDavitt

SINGLES

ONLINE SINGLE REVIEWS

1. THE TWILIGHT SINGERS - ‘A STITCH IN TIME‘ (ONE LITTLE INDIAN)

COLD WAR KIDS

2. DANANANANAYKROYD - ‘SOME DRESSES‘ (JEALOUS RECORDS)

BOY KILL BOY

3. ROSE KEMP - ‘VIOLENCE’ (ONE LITTLE INDIAN)

DARKEL

4. CRASH MY MODEL CAR - ‘MAYBE’ (MY DAD RECORDINGS)

JULIETTE AND THE LICKS

5. COLD WAR KIDS - ‘WE USED TO VACATION EP‘ (V2)

PARIS HILTON

- WE USED TO VACATION EP (V2)

- SHOOT ME DOWN (VERTIGO)

- AT THE END OF THE SKY (EMI)

- STICKY HONEY (HASSLE)

- NOTHING IN THIS WORLD (WARNER)

TO MY BOY - THE GRID (ABEANO MUSIC) 3/5

ISSUE FIFTEEN

by Ted Maul

WWW.ROSEKEMP.CO.UK

DOWNLOAD AT: HTTP://WWW.SAMAMIDON.COM/THISCHICKEN.HTML

FEATURED SINGLE

Highlights

OUT NOW

by Sean Michaels

GUANTANAMO BAY

LIVE MUSIC

SOUNDS

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Michael Franti

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

INTERVIEW FEATURE

DON’T MISS

LIVE MUSIC

INTERVIEW FEATURE

LIVE MUSIC

INTERVIEW FEATURE

FEATURE

32-33

INTERVIEW FEATURE

COLUMN

INTERVIEW FEATURE

FEATURE

by Dave Kerr

THIS MONTH’S REVIEWS 38 38

FEATURE

A MUSO’S TOP 10 BEN KWELLER

26 ISSUE FIFTEEN

What with their recent embittered lawsuits and

THIS MONTH’S REVIEWS 36

FEATURE

SOUNDS

“YOU CAN’T FIGURE JIM OUT; HE WAS A GENIUS, BUT HE WAS A TROUBLED GENIUS. HE WAS SO SMART, BUT HE WAS TOO SMART AND HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT” - ROBBY KRIEGER

RIDERS ON THE STORM PLAY CLYDE AUDITORIUM, GLASGOW ON 29 DEC.

Riders on the Storm: (L-R) Ray Manzarek. Ian Astbury, Robby Kreiger

December 06

THE DOORS LATEST BOX SET, PERCEPTION IS OUT NOW ON RHINO WWW.THEDOORS.COM

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

Sunshine in Winter

Bram Gieben

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ARE BACK WITH THEIR POSITIVE VIBES TO RESTORE BALANCE TO HIP-HOP. THE SKINNY SAYS HALLELUJAH.

INTERVIEW

& 6 OF THE BEST

INTERVIEW

FEATURE

& 12” REVIEWS

INTERVIEW

REVIEWS / PREVIEWS

FEATURE

REVIEWS / PREVIEWS

REVIEWS & DJ CHART

A LOOK BACK AT THE YEAR’S HEAVIEST BEATS 49

Producer K-Murdock’s beats are wildly experimental: Panacea successfully mutate the blueprint of hip-hop.

2. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT -SINCE THE LAST TIME (EDE)

AD’s live instrumentation-based approach to hip-hop remains tight - no-one is working harder to promote positivity and happiness in the genre.

3. V/A - TRONIC: NEW WAVE OF ELECTRONIC SOUNDS VOL 1 (TRONIC) Tronic is one of Glasgow’s finest collection of electronic artists. This is a triumphant release.

4. MATHIAS KADEN - SYNKOPE EP (VAKANT)

These three tracks of densely-layered groove fuse avantgarde musical riddles with solid dancefloor beats in a style akin to Chain Reaction’s techno-dub output.

5. V/A - SOMA COMPILATION 2006’ (SOMA)

Sums up what has been an incredible year for Soma, covering all genres of electronica – from twinkly, soft beats to fast, pounding techno.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

TALBOT RICE, EDINBURGH UNTIL 9 DEC. FREE.

Modulator by Winston Roeth

Erasure - Union Street, album artwork by Lucy McKenzie

1. PANACEA - INK IS MY DRINK (RAWKUS)

WINSTON ROETH

Kimono Study by William McCance

BEATS CONTENTS ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT CLUBBING ROUNDUPS ROOTS MANUVA HOGMANAY CLUBS DJ CHART DIRT EDINBURGH CLUBS DEATH DISCO GLASGOW CLUBS ALBUMS BEATS TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2006

LUCY MCKENZIE – TEN YEARS OF ROBOTIC MAYHEM

ARTS

BEATS

The full might of Arrested Development.

December 06

‘SINCE THE LAST TIME’ IS OUT ON JAN 8. WWW.ARRESTEDDEVELOPMENTMUSIC.COM

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

TOP

EXHIBITIONS

1. CONSIDER THE LILLIES AT DEAN GALLERY, EDINBURGH. Works from Dundee’s 20th century art collection.

2. WINSTON ROETH AT INGLEBY GALLERY, EDINBURGH See review this issue. (pictured)

3. CINÉMATHÈQUE DE TANGER / AMONG THE MODERNS AT STILLS GALLERY, EDINBURGH

Figurative work from the collection.

5. LES STONE - VOODOO

AT ST MUNGO MUSEUM,

GLASGOW.

This show has been on for AGES, so stop procrastinating and go see it now! SEE LISTINGS FOR MORE INFO.

[Jay Shukla] Cedar Landscape by Winston Roeth

by Jay Shukla

A fascinating video library of the Arab world.

4. BODY LANGUAGE AT GOMA, GLASGOW

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

THE HIP-HOP BULLETIN

Mirror Blind Greta by Douglas Gordon

Image by Les Stone

BEATS

ARTS

AT ITS WORST, GORDON’S ART IS PAINFULLY ONE-DIMENSIONAL

www.skinnymag.co.uk

TECHMAS @ SOUNDHAUS, Dec 29, £5/£3 members

TWEEK @ PO NA NA, Dec 6, £0

Bruno F-K and Ian Brandon return for a free night of breaks, techno, electro, house and whatever takes their fancy! Pyz (Split / Access)and Ibrahim (Dogma/ Split/Fat Mess) will be joining the fray.

PRESSURE @ THE ARCHES, Dec 29, £20 (adv.)

It does what it says on the tin, branching out to house, techno, minimal and more ‘eclectic nonsense’ with DJ Quirky.

King of techno Derrick May will rounding off a night of varied techno from Magda, Radioactive Man (live), Lee Van Dowski, Quenum (live), Steve Bug, and Slam.

DEATH DISCO @ THE ARCHES, Dec 16, £12 Erol Alkan returns to The Arches for more blended electro, acid house and indie, with support from Cajuan, DJ Mingo-go and Silent Disco in the Playroom.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

ECLECTRO @ WEE RED BAR, Dec 15, £4 b4 12am/£5

MR SCRUFF @ CABARET VOLTAIRE, Dec 15, £11 (adv.)/£13 The fish and tea-obsessed Mr Scruf f makes a welcome return to Edinburgh for what will no doubt be another sell-out gig.

SEQUENTIAL @ STUDIO 24, Dec 29, £10 Simon ‘Bassline’ Smith (Technique Recordings) will be dropping the jungle, and need we say it, drum & bass, with Slowmotion Ninja (Alphabreaks).

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

A WINTER BOOK

by Jasper Hamill

THE SKINNY TALKS WITH “THE GUY ON THE CORNER WITH THE SUPER T” AS HE PREPARES TO TAKE HIS NEW BAND ON THE ROAD.

Photo by Deirdre O’Callaghan

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

Happy New Year from the BEATS team! www.skinnymag.co.uk

SHENZHEN

NOBODY LIKES YOU

PYONGYANG

GUY DESLISLE

FUN HOME ALISON BECHDALE

PAPERBACK.

THE NO.2 GLOBAL DETECTIVE TOBY CLEMENTS

CREATIVE WRITING FIVE GLASGOW TANKA BY JAMES RODERICK BURNS How wonderful – snow bright and short-lived descending with equal magic on the couple from Iran

OUT NOW. PUBLISHED BY CANONGATE.

under the polar bear’s feet

COVER PRICE £7.99.

and our wide-eyed one year old. * The ice cube explodes in my glass of grain whisky as ice sheets dissolve and I sit twiddling thumbs. * Savour of hotdog and raw woody ink –

EVENTS

circles in the inferno of this bookless passenger.

DEC 7TH: FREE POETRY READING WITH ANNA CROWE AND ALEXANDER HUTCHISON

OUT NOW, PUBLISHED BY JONATHAN CAPE,

Richly rewarding reading with Rebus writer Rankin. Free, must book.

LIST PRICE £14.99 HARDBACK.

BY ‘MONTY PYTHON’

Rather good Poetry and creative writing evening at Tchai-Uvna, £2

SETH

www.skinnymag.co.uk

OUT NOW. FUN HOME IS PUBLISHED BY JONATHAN CAPE. COVER PRICE £12.99

DEC 1ST: ‘READING THE LEAVES’

THE VERY BEST OF MONTY PYTHON

and overhanging bosom

TOP

FEATURED BOOK

his death, either a suicide or tragic accident, exemplifies his uncertain presence and influence.

BOOKS

BEATS Manuva’s Poetic Pallette

7pm, Poetry Club, Glasgow School of Art.

* When after an hour you appear in low-key style between the butcher’s and the green neon bar sign my heart empties like a vault.

DEC 13TH: POETRY PAMPHLET

Party and fair at the National Library of Scotland: cheap (but deep) Xmas presents.

In the gilded hall

DEC 13TH: GAELIC CREATIVE WRITING (!)

the meaningless shit

7.30pm at the CCA, for Budding Bards.

DEC 14TH: IAN RANKIN AT THE NATIONAL GALLERY OF SCOTLAND

December 06

I shuck my specs to avoid on the lecture screen, these blank and eloquent marble eyes.

THE SKINNY LIKES CREATIVE WRITING. PLEASE SEND SUBMISSIONS TO: KEIR@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

ISSUE FIFTEEN

by Keir Hind

DAWKINS’ NICKNAME AMONG HIS PEERS, ‘DARWIN’S ROTTWEILER’, MAY ONLY BE PARTIALLY COMPLIMENTARY

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

6. MUSAPHIA & MAYHEM – ROCK THE BASS [WHITE

Thomas Pynchon

BEATS

WHILE PYNCHON POSSESSES A SINGULAR PROSE STYLE AND AN ENORMOUS TALENT, HE ALSO PUBLISHES FAR TOO RARELY.

LABEL]

A banger of an electro track that will no doubt flood a dancefloor.

7. JAMES ZABIELA – WEIRD SCIENCE [Rennaissance] An infectious breakdown of total funk filtered all over this dj-must-have.

1. BLACK RUSSIAN - CRAZY

[FAKT RECORDINGS]

Sirens, scratching, guitar stabs and a very, very fat bass line.

2. SPANK ROCK - BUMP (SWITCH REMIX) [BIG DADA]

Completely insane remix from Switch with more twists and turns than the A9, and a lot safer to boot.

3. MASTIKSOUL - FUNK MASTER FLEX [Dirty Ego] Nice and funky ass-shaking number with some really nicely filtered beats.

4. DJ MISJAH - ON MY BACK [RERUN] ‘Groove is in the Heart’ sampling stomper by DJ Misjah.

5.THE PRODIGY - VOODOO PEOPLE (PENDULUM REMIX) [XL RECORDINGS] Pendulum breath fresh life into Voodoo People, creating my ultimate ‘one more tune’ (for now).

8. BODYROX – YEAH YEAH (D. RAMIREZ CLUB MIX) [EYE INDUSTRIS] A truly funky electro track, but please, no vocals.

9. HOXTON WHORES – FRIDAY SATURDAY LOVE [HOXTON WHORES]

‘Friday Saturday Love’ rocks and as a dirty electro track, this tune does amazing things with a mixed vocal.

10. FULL FORCE SAMPLER SESSION 2 [CYBER PRODUCTIONS] French label sampler featuring Da Fresh, Baxter Baxter and Alex Orion. One track that stands out is Da Fresh ‘Spaghetti Groove.’

TWEEK ME, PO NA NA, EDINBURGH, 6 DEC, FREE, FRINKS PROMOS ALL NIGHT WWW.TWEEKME.COM

SINGLES/EPS by Michael Gallagher

YING YANG TWINS FT. WYCLEF

DANGEROUS (TVT)

PHUNKIN DJS FEAT. PAMELA FERNANDEZ KICKIN THE BEAT 2006 (SATURN RETURN RECORDS)

SEBASTIAN

REPEAT, REPEAT WHY MUST? (SOMA)

Two choice techno/electronica tracks from Repeat Repeat’s four skinny album, ‘Squints.’ Wonky, minimal, and demonstrating a playful approach to rhythms. [Alex Burden]

IGNITION TECHNICIAN

DEEP INC.

ALL SINGLES OUT NOW www.skinnymag.co.uk

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

GLASGOW CLUB REVIEWS DEATH DISCO

THE ARCHES, GLASGOW, NOV 18

by Sean McNamara

FOUR TO THE FLOOR IS LEFT AT THE DOOR AS GLASGOW’S FAVOURITE DEATH DISCO BECOMES A CLUBBING HEAVYWEIGHT.

THE NEXT DEATH DISCO IS ON DEC 16 WITH THEIR XXXMAS PARTY WITH EROL

In terms of the music at the night, eclecticism is the flavour and the musical buffet offers a little something for everyone: “I’ve ver y much reacted to what the crowd are looking

CLUB PREVIEWS

ALKAN, CAJUAN, DJ MINGO-GI DEATH DISCO XXXMAS PARTY EROL ALKAN, CAJUAN, AND DJ MINGO GO. 10.30PM-4AM, £12. GET HALF PRICE PASSES AT WWW. DEATHDISCO.INFO WWW.THEARCHES.CO.UK WWW.DEATHDISCO.INFO

EVIL NINE

THE SKINNY ...IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF CLUB RE-

TECHMAS IV

10PM-3AM, £6/8

EERIE, COMIC, CHALLENGING

A scene from Techmas III - messy!

OLLIE TEEBA

LOOSE CHANGE, THE ARCHES, GLASGOW, DEC 15

TRAVERSE CUBED3

The excellent cast for these two plays, presented as part of the Tilt triptych, was the same for each production (as were the stage crew, including as director the increasingly

ANIMAL FARM

BLOC, GLASGOW, EVERY FRIDAY

THEATRE

BEATS Disco-ing All The Way

THE SOUNDHAUS, GLASGOW, DEC 29

£2/£0 B4 12AM, 11PM-3AM JOHN VIRTUE (INNER CITY ACID) IS SCHEDULED FOR FEB 2007

9PM-4AM, £5/3 WWW.MYSPACE.COM/TECHMAS

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

FESTIVE THEATRE GIVES THOSE OF US LONGER IN TOOTH AN OPPORTUNITY TO REVISIT THE PLACES WE REMEMBER OUR IMAGINATION BEING BORN

TOP

EVENTS

HANSEL AND GRETEL THE ARCHES THEATRE, 9 DEC – 7 JAN A weird, wonderful and unforgettable experience, suitable for children and those with a sense with a sense of the eerie truth of fairy tales.

by Simone Gray

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

EDINBURGH CLUB REVIEWS CRAGGS, PARRALLEL FORCES, & DILLINJA

by Alex Burden

THE SKINNY TALKS TO DOGMA’S MUCH-MISSED NEIL TEMPLAR ABOUT HIS DIRT PROJECT, EMIGRATION, AND THE DIFFERENCE A CHANGE MAKES.

EDENANGELS

CABARET VOLTAIRE, DEC 15

£11 / £13, 9PM START WWW.NINJATUNE.NET

December 06

CHECK OUT THEIR MYSPACE ACCOUNT FOR GIG INFO AND TO LISTEN TO SOME TRACKS: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SCOTTISHDIRT

RED VODKA CLUB, EVERY THURS

Scruff: It’s not all fish you know...

ISSUE FIFTEEN

UNDERGROUND PLAYGROUND

MR SCRUFF

MANGA,THE LIQUID ROOM EDINBURGH, 10 NOV

PHARCYDE & GUESTS

THE RUFFNESS

UGLY DUCKLING

GAMES

TOM CLANCY’S SPLINTER CELL – DOUBLE AGENT (UBISOFT)

Christmas 2006: CASTLES, GUNS, SWORDS AND WII... by Craig Wilson

GAMES

BEATS Neil Templar: Diggin’ the Dirt

ONLINE://SKINNYMAG.CO.UK PERIPHERAL PRESENTS

GRAND THEFT AUTO: VICE CITY

THE LOWDOWN ON SUPER HIGH-TECH KEYBOARDS

THE LATEST HANDHELD GTA, SPORTING NEW MISSIONS, VEHICLES AND THE ABILITY TO SWIM...

SID MEIER’S ALPHA CENTAURI RETRO HEAVEN FROM THE MASTER OF IMAGINARY WORLDS

TONY HAWKS: DOWNHILL JAM A NEW SPIN ON TIRING SKATER SERIES FOR THE DS

STARFOX COMMAND GAMES COMING SOON

CHARMING GAME FEATURING AGGRESSIVE SOFT TOYS

WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN DECEMBER

FAMILY GUY FUN FOR AFFICIANADOS OF THE TV SHOW ONLY

TECANIS CANEM EDIT ROCKSTAR’S CONTROVERSIAL SCHOOL BASED WEDGIE FEST ARRIVES ON PS2

Canis Canem Edit

In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what you ask for. Santa’s not going to be delivering much this year with so much to play.

WWW.UGLYDUCKLING.US

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

ONLINE://SKINNYMAG.CO.UK MICHAEL HANEKE TRILOGY BOXSET THE WORLD OF LUC JACQUET

CALL THE SKINNY TICKET LINE FOR TICKETS TO ANY OF THE GIGS IN PINK ON THIS PAGE. DON’T SAY WE DIDN’T WARN YA!

DECEMBER

£10.00 £11.00 £9.00 £22.50 £12.50 £6.00 £14.50 £16.50 £23.50 £11.00 £23.50 £13.00 £9.50 £28.00 £26.00 £15.00 £17.50 £25.00 £6.00 £8.00 £43.00

JANUARY

HUNDRED REASONS THE BOY MOST LIKELY JAN-19 GET CAPE, WEAR CAPE, FLY RAY LA MONTAGNE RAY LA MONTAGNE CUE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR HOT CLUB DE PARIS HELLOGOODBYE

FEBRUARY

PLAN B EDDI READER EDDI READER BLOC PARTY THE FEELING

FEB-2 FEB-14 FEB-17 FEB-20 FEB-23

ARCHES, GLASGOW ABC, GLASGOW USHER HALL, EDINBURGH CORN EXCHANGE, EDINBURGH CORN EXCHANGE, EDINBURGH

£13.00 £9.00 £17.50 £17.50 £9.50 £7.00 £10.50

BEATS

DVD

0871 230 4436

‘ALLO ALLO’ DELIVERS LASHINGS OF SEXUAL INNUENDO, WELL WORKED FARCICAL SET UPS, AND PLENTY OF OUTRAGEOUS ACCENTS

£11.00 £20.00 £18.50 £15.00 £15.00

0871 230 4436

FILM RAN

FILM RELEASES

VIVA ZAPATERO!

OUT NOW.

Suffice to say, you could do much worse than to stick this 20th anniversary disc in your Uncle Tam’s stocking. [Dave Kerr]

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

F FOR FAKE Who better to take us on a tour of Illusion and Reality than Orson Welles? A superb documentary in which the Documentarian is as fascinating and enigmatic as the subject. (4 DEC)

OUT NOW

RELEASE DATE NOV 13

Jared Hess’ second film is an entertaining and very silly story following the fortunes of a Mexican priest-turned wrestler played by Jack Black. (4 DEC)

FULL VERSIONS AVAILABLE ONLINE AS RECOMMENDED BY:

22 MARCHMONT ROAD, EDINBURGH 0131 229 5136 93 BROUGHTON STREET 0131 556 1866

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

REVIEWS

LP REVIEWS

London to Brighton

by Colan Mehaffey

FILM

BEATS

DAN BLAND

PANACEA

1. DANNY BREAKS - HAND EXERCISE #2 (ALPHABET ZOO)

INK IS MY DRINK

Tune of the week on The Gritty Product show. Lots of cut up samples about “correct fingering” and a killer organ hook.

2. DJ SKULL - HEAD BASHER

(RAWKUS)

V/A

SOMA COMPILATION 2006 (SOMA)

This superb two CD compilation sums up what has been an incredible year for Soma: having celebrated their 200th single release and 15th

ISSUE FIFTEEN

OUT NOW WWW.SOMARECORDS.COM

December 06

DJ Extra & Kemo on the cuts. Check the new album Poltergeeks for some freakishly strong Edinburgh action.

9. THE AMAZING ROLLO - IT’S EASY TO GET USED TO (UNSIGNED) Half American half French producer. Top track from his debut album That Happened To Me Once.

Another Edinburgh act that has the capability to sell to a worldwide audience.

LOOK OUT FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE RTTETURN OF RAWKUS

Lots of samples of old jazz tunes chucked together by Louie Vega. Fatter than MC Hammer’s trousers.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ‘SINCE THE LAST TIME’

PITBULL

4. BUG & DADDY FREDDY - RUN THE PLACE RED (AFX REMIX) (AFX)

8. PENPUSHERS - SILICON INFANTS (KFM)

5. LOUIE ‘PHAT KAT’ VEGA - SAXY NINE (JAZZ CLUB)

AN INTERVIEW WITH FORMER RAWKUS ARTIST DJ HI-TEK.

Drum and bass monster from Billy AKA Knifehandchop. Turn the subwoofer up and sit back.

Crazy/daft as a brush track from the guys who I do the radio show with.

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/PANACEANMUSIC

RECORDS IN FORTHCOMING ISSUES OF THE SKINNY, INCLUDING

(VAKANT)

3. KNIFEHANDCHOP - RETURN TO CHINATOWN (TIGERBEAT 6)

7. MATCHSTICK MEN - WE’RE SO MONEY (UNSIGNED)

PRESSURE)

WWW.RAWKUS.COM

SYNKOPE EP

Brilliant track that was featured on the Jeff Mills mix Live At The Liquid Rooms but Jeff in his wisdom got the track wrong on the CD.

If sound needed to be killed Kid 606 is the man to do it. Choice cut from the amazing album Kill Sound Before Sound Kills You.

Mad ragga, glitch hardcore. Completely nuts. Oh yes, the other two tracks on the flipside are un-listenable! Ha!

RELEASED: DEC 18

MATHIAS KADEN

(DJAX UP BEATS)

6. KID 606 - WHO WAH KILL SOUND (TIGERBEAT6)

(EDE)

10. FOUND - MULLOKIAN (SURFACE

WWW.GRITTYPRODUCT.COM

TRONIC: NEW WAVE OF ELECTRONIC SOUNDS VOL 1 (TRONIC)

IF YOU LIKE THIS CHECK OUT PATRICK WALKER, SATELLITE DUB AND RED SNAPPER

XZIBIT

(SONY)

“A THRILLING SLICE OF BRITISH REALISM.”

RELEASED: OUT NOW

FULL CIRCLE

V/A

Things are grim down South in London to Brighton

WWW.RADIOMAGNETIC.COM

DIR: PAUL ANDREW WILLIAMS STARS: LORRAINE STANLEY, JOHNNY HARRIS, GEORGIA GROOME RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC. CERT: 18 WWW.L2B-THEMOVIE.CO.UK

Xzibit prays for a good review.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

IT’S A BOY GIRL THING DIR: NICK HURRAN

S TA R S : K E V I N Z E G E R S , S A M A I R E A R M S T R O N G, E M I LY H A M P S H I R E , SHARON OSBOURNE RELEASE DATE: 29 DEC. CERT: 15

CASINO ROYALE DIR: MARTIN CAMPBELL STARS: DANIEL CRAIG, JUDI DENCH, MADS MIKKELSON, EVA GREEN RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW. CERT 12A

Taking Bond back to grass-roots level, Casino Royale documents his first mission as a newly promoted Double-O agent and, in the process, offers some fascinating character

The

DEAD MAN’S CARDS

RELEASE DATE: 15 DEC.

DIR: JAMES MARQUAND STARS: JAMES MCMARTIN, PAUL BARBER, SAMANTHA JANIS RELEASE DATE: 15 DEC. CERT: 18

GONE The Upside of Anger

DIR: RINGAN LEDGWIDGE STARS: SHAUN EVANS, AMELIA WARNER, SCOTT MECHLOWICZ CERT 15

FILM OF THE MONTH

STRANGER THAN FICTION

THE UPSIDE OF ANGER DIR: MIKE BINDER STARS: JOAN ALLEN, KEVIN COSTNER, ERIKA CHRISTENSEN

STARS: WILL FERRELL, EMMA THOMPSON,

RELEASE DATE: 15 DEC.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN

CERT 15

RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC.

STARS: SIMON PEGG, DAVID SCHWIMMER, ALICE EVE RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC CERT: 15

DIR: MARC FORSTER

CERT 12A

DIR: JEAN-BAPTISTE ANDREA

HOLLYWOODLAND

JACKASS NUMBER TWO

Ben Affleck stars as TV Superman George Reeves, found dead in suspicious circumstances. (OUT NOW)

Number twos and so much more consumed for your viewing pleasure. (OUT NOW)

TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY

SHORTBUS STARS: SOOK-YIN LEE, PAUL DAWSON, LINDSAY BEAMISH RELEASE DATE: 1 DEC. CERT: 18 WWW.SHORTBUSTHEMOVIE.COM

EVEN THE MOST SEXUALLY ADVENTUROUS TURN OUT TO HAVE HANG-UPS.

The greatest band in the world get their own movie. Rejoice. (OUT NOW)

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS

SHORTBUS

(22 DEC)

Learn more about the Battle of Iwo Jima in our feature on Eastwood’s latest.

Q&A with writer/director John Cameron Mitchell. (1 DEC)

ISSUE FIFTEEN

PANORAMA (LOWLIFE)

8. ALEX SMOKE

POLTERGEEKS (KFM/INCORPOREAL)

9. JEL

SOFT MONEY (ANTICON)

PARADOLIA (SOMA)

PENPUSHERS

Online Features...

ZERO DB

BONGOS, BLEEPS & BASSLINES (NINJA TUNE)

3. MILANESE

EXTEND (PLANET MU)

4. JUNIOR BOYS

SO THIS IS GOODBYE (DOMINO)

DARC MIND

SYMPTOMATIC OF A GREATER ILL (ANTICON)

10. SQUARERPUSHER HELLO EVERYTHING (WARP)

PANACEA Talking exlusively to Bram Gieben about their new LP ‘Ink Is My Drink’ on Rawkus, K-Murdock & Raw Poetic ﬂy some steel kites for your reading pleasure

December 06

YOYOYOYOYOYO (BIG DADA)

BRAINTAX

Panacea enjoy a beer and some Online Features

SPANK ROCK

BIG NOTHING

ONLINE//:WWW.SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

DIR: JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL

SKINNYsoundtrack to 2006

BEATS

FILM

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Zero dB reﬂect on being the second best...

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

GLASGOW ARTS

THE ARCHES, 153 ARGYLE ST

THE AULD KIRK MUSEUM, COWGATE, KIRKINTILLOCH

CHRISTMAS ART AND CRAFT EXHIBITION, An ideal place to find unique Christmas gifts, UNTIL DECEMBER 20, Free, Tue-Sat, 10am-1pm, 2pm-5pm

BRUNSWICK HOTEL, 106 - 108 BRUNSWICK STEET

MENELAS - ILIAC/ILIUM, Photography examining the hips, UNTIL DECEMBER 3, Free, Daily 8am-Midnight

HOUSE FOR AN ART LOVER, BEL-

THE MAGIC OF MASKS AND PUPPETS, A plethora

VARIOUS ARTISTS, A new show different each month

of exhibits from around the world, UNTIL DECEMER 22, Free, Mon-Fri 10am-4pm, Sat 12pm-4pm

featuring a selection of contemporary Scottish artwork, OPENING TIMES VARY, Free, Sat, Sun 10am-1pm

STREET

ARMEN VAHRAMIAN, A series of paintings by the Armenian artist which engage with the history of Armenian art, DECEMBER 3 TO DECEMBER 31, Free, Tue-Sat 12pm-late, Sun 5pm-late

GLASGOW GALLERY OF MODERN ART, ROYAL EXCHANGE SQUARE OPEN COMMUNITY, An annual opportunity for com-

GLASGOW PRINT STUDIO (GALLERY III), 25 KING STREET, CHRISTMAS SHOW, An

17TH CENTURY SAMPLERS, Embroidered samplers from

GLASGOW ROYAL CONCERT HALL,

CCA, 350 SAUCHIEHALL ST

UNTIL FEBRUARY 7, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-1pm, 2pm5pm

LAHOUSTON PARK, DUMBRECK ROAD,

GALLERY COSSACHOCK, 38 ALBION HILLHEAD LIBRARY, 348 BYRES ROAD,

ideal place to find unique Christmas gifts, DECEMBER 2 TO DECEMBER 23, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5.30pm

Sir William Burrell’s wonderful collection of British embroideries, END DATE TBC, Free, Mon-Thu+Sat 10am5pm, Fri+Sun 11am-5pm

HER SENSE OF FUN IS AN EXAMPLE FOR ALL TO FOLLOW

COLLINS GALLERY, 22 RICHMOND

THE BURRELL COLLECTION, 2060 POLLOKSHAWS ROAD

THEATRE & ART

2 SAUCHIEHALL ST,

BILL MILLETT - CAPTURING LIGHT : SCOTTISH REFLECTIONS, A photographic jour-

ney from the Clyde to the powerful storms that pound the coast line of Sutherland to the Mull of Galloway, UNTIL JANUARY 2007, Free, Mon-Sun from 10am

MISO FUNKY MARKET, Reclaiming the concept of craft and making it funky again - includes jewellery, original artwork, bags, accessories, homeware, cosmetics, 16/12/06, Free, 10am-4pm

KELVINGROVE ART GALLERY, ARGYLE STREET,

THE LIGHTHOUSE, 11 MITCHELL LANE, TAIT & STYLE, Taking a look at the commercial and in-

10am-1pm, 2pm-5pm DRAWN IN, Taking a look a t the gamut of drawn works,

ANALOGUE, 102 WEST BOW

DEAN GALLERY, 73 BELFORD ROAD

Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5pm

very cool wee bookshop, UNTIL DECEMBER 16, Free, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm

VARIOUS ARTISTS, Group Show, OPEN ALL YEAR, Free,

AMBER ROOME, 75 CUMBERLAND ST NAOKO SHIBUYA & JADE STOUT, New paintings by

Japanese artist Naoko Shibuya & Orcadian Jade Stout, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Wed-Sat 11am-6pm

THE BONGO CLUB, 37 HOLYROOD RD

EXHIBITION TBC, Interesting, unusual work in a stimulating environment, OPEN ALL YEAR, Free, Mon-Fri 11amlate, Sat 12.30pm-late

CITY ART CENTRE, 2 MARKET ST

COLLECTIVE GALLERY, 22-28 COCK-

JAMES MCINTOSH PATRICK ARCHIVE, Work by one of

MASTERS OF DESIGN, The latest advances across

eleven art and design disciplines, DECEMBER 7-12, Free, Mon-Thur 10am-8pm, Fri-Sun 10am-5pm

EDINBURGH PRINTMAKERS, 23 UNION STREET

ERIC LIDDELL CENTRE, HOLYCORNER, raphy, accessories, paintings, texiles, ceramics and more funky stuff by lots of different artists… find some original gifts for Christmas!, 16/12/06, Free, 1pm-4pm

DECEMBER 22, Free, Wed-Sat 11am-4.30pm

DANISH CULTURAL INSTITUTE, 3

DOUNE TERRACE

NORTHERN LIGHTS, A collection of images created on trips to northern Norway and Normandy by Kirsten Klein, UNTIL DECEMBER 8, Free, Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm

50 ISSUE FIFTEEN

06 Decembery 06

PROJECT ABILITY (TRONGATE STUDIOS), 18 ALBION STREET, CHRISTMAS ART

SALE, A wide ranging show including ceramics, christmas cards and jewellery, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Mon-Fri 10am-5pm

Q! GALLERY, 87-89 SALTMARKET, A GARDEN I ONCE KNEW, Dissecting identity with an art-shaped scalpel - by Vivian Hedley, UNTIL DECEMBER 1, Free, 11am-5pm daily

SORCHA DALLAS, 5 ST MARGARET’S

THE METAL BRIDGE, Group Show featuring

Steven Claydon, Thomas Helbig, Duncan Marquiss, Craig Mulholland, DECEMBER 16 TO JANUARY 27 (CLOSED DEC 23 TO JAN 7), Free, Tue - Sat 11am-5pm

ST MUNGO MUSEUM, 2 CASTLE STREET,

VOODOO, Photography by Les Stone - ex-

ploring the practice of Voodoo on the Caribbean island of Haiti, UNTIL JANUARY 2007, Free, Mon-Thu, Sat 10am-5pm, Fri, Sun 11am-5pm

SON ST, URS FISHER, New Solo Show, , Free, MonFri 10am-5pm, Sat 12pm-5pm

DOUGLAS GORDON, Installations throughtout the

NATIONAL GALLERY OF SCOTLAND,

EDINBURGH COLLEGE OF ART, LAU- NATIONAL MUSEUM OF SCOTLAND, RISTON PLACE

Glass, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Tue-Sat 12pm-5pm BLACK CUBE, video works by Yael Bartana; from everyday life in Israel , UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Tue-Sat

STITUTION ST, LEITH

CHRISTMAS ART SALE, A wide ranging show including ceramics, christmas cards and jewellery, UNTIL DECEMBER 22, Free, Mon-Fri 10am5pm

cooker, so many big actors behave like highmaintenance divas and Winslet’s sense of fun is an example for all to follow.

SCOTLANDART.COM,

NEW WORK SCOTLAND, Sara Barker and Jan Pottinger- ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR, Jewellery, Graphics, photog-

TOBIAS STERNBERG, Powerful sculptural works, UNTIL

DOGGERFISHER,

MORNINGSIDE ROAD

CORN EXCHANGE GALLERY, CON-

PROJECT ABILITY (CDA GALLERY),

PLACE,

by Stephen Carty

BURN ST

12pm-5pm

Kate Winslet

THE MODERN INSTITUTE, 73 ROBERT-

ERIC MENDELSOHN, Dynamics and Function: Realised various mediums, UNTIL DECEMBER 21, Free, Tue-Sat

Visions of a Cosmopolitan Architect, DECEMBER 15 TO FEBRUARY 9, Free, Mon-Fri 10am-5pm

MATT SEWELL: SNOW DRIFTING, New show inside this

LAETITIA GUILBAUD, Electrifying, fluid new work, UNTIL JANUARY 22 2007, Free, Tue-Sat 9am6pm

18 ALBION STREET,

GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, 167 LILLIE ART GALLERY, STATION ROAD, RENFREW STREET, MACKINTOSH GALLERY, MILNGAVIE, CHRISTMAS SHOW, Various artists,

EDINBURGH ARTS

LLOYD JEROME GALLERY, 200 BATH

STREET,

FILM

LISTINGS

CHAMBERS ST

REFLECTIONS, A decade of North lands creative glass, UNTIL JANUARY 2007, Free, Daily 10am - 5pm

BEYOND THE PALACE WALLS, Islamic Art, UNTIL NOVEM- OFF THE WALL, Floor- and Ceiling-based Works from

the collection, DECEMBER 9 TO MAY 1 2007, Free, Daily 10am-5pm

BER 5, £6(£5), Daily 10am - 5pm

NATIONAL WAR MUSEUM OF SCOT- SCOTTISH NATIONAL PORTRAIT LAND, EDINBURGH CASTLE GALLERY, 1 QUEEN STREET COMMANDO COUNTRY, UNTIL FEB ‘07, Free with

OPEN EYE GALLERY,

STILLS,

THE QUEENS GALLERY, PALACE OF HOTHE FRUITMARKET GALLERY, 45 MAR- LYROOD HOUSE

KET STREET, CHRISTINE BORLAND, DECEMBER 2 TO JANUARY 28 (CLOSED DEC 24-JAN 2), Free, Mon-Sat 11am-6pm, Sun 12pm-5pm

34 ABERCROMBY PL

SCOTTISH NATIONAL GALLERY OF MODERN ART, 75 BELFORD ROAD

CANALETTO IN VENICE, Paintings and Drawings, UNTIL JANUARY 7 2007, £5(£4), Mon-Sun 9.30am-6pm

TALBOT RICE, UNIVERSITY OF EDINBURGH, SOUTHBRIDGE

KEITH FARQUHAR/LUCY MCKENZIE, In main gallery, UNTIL DECEMBER 9, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5pm

RED DOOR GALLERY, 42 VICTORIA ST

RAEBURN AND HIS PRINTMAKERS, In Georgian gallery,

OPEN ALL YEAR, Free, Mon-Sat 11am-6pm, Sun 11am-5pm

TOTAL KUNST AT FORREST, 3 BRISTO

EDUARDO PAOLOZZI, Moonstrips Empire News (prints), VARIOUS ARTS AND CRAFTS, Art at reasonable prices, UNTIL DECEMBER 9, Free, Tue-Sat 10am-5pm UNTIL DECEMBER 23, Free, Mon-Fri 11am-6pm, Sun

10am-4pm

INGLEBY GALLERY, 6 CARLTON TCE

WINSTON ROETH, New solo show, UNTIL DECEMBER 22,

ROYAL BOTANICAL GARDEN, INVERLEITH ROW

New art in stimulating surroundings, Free, Open all year

www. www.skinnymag.co.uk skinnymag. co. uk

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

FILM I

TOP

Review of the Year

9 DEC - 7 JAN,

Big budget fantasy is back. You can blame Lord of the Rings if this one sucks. (15 Dec)

STRANGER THAN FICTION Will Ferrell makes his bid to be a serious actor in this cracking, erm, comedy. (1 Dec)

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS Will Clint nick Scorsese’s Oscar again with this WWII epic? Actually no, he won’t, but this looks good anyway. (22 Dec)

KINGS THEATRE 1 DEC - 13 JAN,

son-Nimmo (of Balamory fame). times vary, £5. 50£20. 50

By Paul Greenwood

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK, Oran Mor’s 45 minute makeover of this panto favourite. 12. 30pm, £10 (ticket price includes a pie and one drink) 2 DEC - 23 DEC,

THEATRE ROYAL

TOP 10

BOTTOM 10

1.BORAT

The ones to run away from, laugh at or just plain avoid, in order from least worst to worst worst.

9. LITTLE MAN Or this?

The spirit of Dashiell Hammett is alive and well in this gripping teen noir that plays like a high school comedy directed by David Lynch.

8. THE FOG

One of Pedro Almodovar’s best ever films has it all - melodrama, comedy, a ghost story. And Penelope Cruz can act. Who knew?

7. BEERFEST

5. THE DEPARTED

I walked out after less than half of this atrocity, but luckily many of my colleagues also hated it. Democracies are great.

Everything you could possibly want from a crime thriller, including a completely loopy Jack Nicholson. A glorious return to form for Scorsese and surely the one that will finally land him his Oscar.

6. THE BLACK DAHLIA

Who remembers when Brian de Palma used to be a talented filmmaker? I do actually, but then I’m very, very old.

A powerhouse cast was only one of the high points in this tricksy tale of warring magicians. We’ve come to expect no less from director Christopher Nolan these days.

Pray that ‘The Beginning’ marks the end, because this was a serious waste of time.

4. VOLVER

6. THE PRESTIGE 7. HIDDEN

Dismal horror films aren’t exactly thin on the ground, but some are just that bit more special.

5. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING 4. BASIC INSTINCT 2 Keep ‘em on love.

Michael Haneke’s genuinely shocking thriller featured excellent performances even if it wasn’t exactly an easy watch.

3. THE OMEN

GFT, GLASGOW, 14 DEC - 24 DEC.

8. PAN’S LABYRINTH

Frank Capra’s Christmas favourite gets its annual run.

You’ve gotta love those monsters as Guillermo del Toro proves once again that it isn’t Hollywood that brings out the best in him. The moral of the story? Stick to Spanish, Billy.

2. THE DA VINCI CODE

INTERFAITH WEEK FILMHOUSE, EDINBURGH, 2 DEC - 5 DEC.

9. CAPOTE

A series of films celebrating diversity of faith.

Philip Seymour Hoffman finally became a star with his Oscar winning portrayal of Truman Capote in this well crafted biopic that focused on his relationship with a death row killer.

FILM MEMORABILIA SALE

10. THE PROPOSITION

Bargains galore to be had as the GFT clears out the attic.

GLASGOW’S CHRISTMAS PARTY

BUBBLING UNDER:

GLASGOW SCIENCE CENTRE, GLASGOW, 12 DEC.

Good displays all round by these guys but they just didn’t quite make the cut.... Walk the Line, Good Night and Good Luck, Lady Vengeance, United 93, Clerks II

GFT, GLASGOW, 9 DEC - 10 DEC.

Fun for all the family, including a screening of Santa Vs the Snowman.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

DISCO INFERNO, A comedy musical with chart topping hits from the seventies, 7. 30pm, £10/£5 6 DEC - 9 DEC,

December 06

Answers on a postcard if you think a movie should be made just because it’s got a cool release date. The film that proved 100 million people could sleep with their eyes open.

1. THE WICKER MAN

“Aaah, my legs.” It was never going to be a good idea, but did anyone think it would be so truly, hilariously awful?

www.skinnymag.co.uk

BRUNTON THEATRE 25 NOV - 30 DEC,

DICK MCWHITTINGTON, A sparkling

new pantomime that takes a Scottish spin on the traditional tale. 2pm & 7. 30pm, Times vary, consult venue for details.

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE

16-DEC,

FROZEN, Rapture theatre returns to the Citizens’ with Bryony Lavery’s troubling drama about the disappearance of a 10 year old girl. 7. 30pm, £12/£5 5 DEC - 9 DEC,

STEREODOG, CHINAWHITE, Mr. Livewire & Gary Curley

ABC FRIDAYS, ABC1, Genre mash-up from Euan Neilson,

SATURDAY 2 DECEMBER

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

EDINBURGH PLAYHOUSE 1 DEC - 24 FEB,

GLASGOW CLUBS

FRIDAY 1 DECEMBER

3. BRICK

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE

WULLIE WHITTINGTON, The Tron team de-

ORAN MOR

SHORTBUS

A season of classic crime thrillers including Heat and Rififi.

GILMOREHILL G12

CITIZENS THEATRE

liver another fun filled ﬂabbergasting Christmas themed fiasco. 1pm & 7. 30pm, 5pm Sunday, £6

In the year that gave us Borat, why should we have to put up with dross like this?

FILMHOUSE, EDINBURGH, UNTIL 13 DEC.

age of radio drama. 7. 30pm, £8/5

TRON THEATRE 5 DEC - 7 JAN,

It was a close run thing but this delightful comedy drama just missed out on the top spot. Keep an Oscar eye on it though.

HEIST ALMIGHTY

MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET/IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, A classic double bill from the golden 14 DEC - 16 DEC,

MARTHA, One for the kids, something to keep them distracted while you wrap the presents?, 10. 30am & 1. 30pm, 3pm on Sundays, £6 7 DEC - 31 DEC,

10. THE PINK PANTHER

EVENTS

RAMSHORN THEATRE

TRON THEATRE

2. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

TOP

PAVILLION

PETER PAN, Learn how to ﬂy with lost boys, mermaids etc. etc. times vary, £12-£15

Gritty, low budget British dramas don’t get much better than this. See Indie Film of the Month. (1 Dec)

Hardcore fun from Hedwig creator John Cameron Mitchell. See Film of the Month. (1 Dec)

ALADDIN, A classic featuring Julie Wil-

29 NOV - 29 JAN,

Niiiice. The funniest film in many years is also the best film of the year. A fearless, hilarious, jaw dropping comedy that has become an instant classic.

LONDON TO BRIGHTON

HANSEL AND GRETEL, A weird, wonder-

ful and unforgettable experience, suitable for children. times vary, £4/£7

FILMS

ERAGON

ARCHES THEATRE

AS FILM YEARS GO, IT’S BEEN A PRETTY GOOD ONE.

EDINBURGH THEATRE

CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG, Truly

TRAVERSE THEATRE

LISTINGS

GLASGOW THEATRE

NORTH EDINBURGH ARTS CENTRE

KINGS THEATRE

ROYAL LYCEUM THEATRE PINOCCHIO, Kids, tell lies and your nose gets big, you’ve been warned. Prices and times vary, consult venue for details. 1 DEC - 30 DEC,

HOME COOKIN’, BELO, Urban music showcase, 10pm3am, £7, free b4 11pm

SUNDAY 3 DECEMBER

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

MONDAY 4 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 5 DECEMBER

12 HOUR TUESDAYS, SSU, Chart music & live comedy, 3pm-3am, £2, free b4 3pm

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc ALL STAR, BAMBOO, Andy Wilson plays funk with DJ Kash on the hip pop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£2), free b4 11pm/ 12.30am with matric DUB & GRUB, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Snacks, meals & Mungo’s HiFi, 5pm-late, Free FOLK IT!, THE MIXING ROOMS, Up & coming folk musician session, From 8pm, Free FUNKY LUV, PLAY, Driving vocal house, 10pm-3am, £5, £3 NUS INFLATABLE FUN, THE GARAGE, Naughty Nicola with inﬂatables & groovy tunes, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3), free b4 12am with PIYP KALEIDOSCOPE LIVE, ABC2, Old school rock & roll, soul, funk, from the 1960’s-1980’s , 10pm-3am, £3, free with matric. After 12am KILLER KITSCH, THE BUFF CLUB, Electroclash & that, 11pm3am, £4 (£3) REVOLUTION, QMU, Rock & punk with Martin Bate (XFM), 10pm-2.15am, £2, £1 members ROCK KARAOKE, THE CATHOUSE, Karaoke to rock, Free b4 12am T.I.T., KARBON, Lisa Littlewood & Graeme Ferguson, 10.30pm-3am, £5 (£4)

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

ART OF PARTIES, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Featuring Cowtown, 10.30pm-3am, £4 - £0

THURSDAY 7 DECEMBER

*.*, THE BUFF CLUB, Rock’n’roll & northern soul, 11pm3am, £3

FRIDAY 8 DECEMBER

52 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

SATURDAY 9 DECEMBER

ABC SATURDAYS, ABC1, Gerry Lyons plays soul, punk, rock & indie dance, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 11.30pm with matric. ABC SATURDAYS, ABC2, David Sinclair (Killer Kitsch) plays electro, house & pop, 11pm-3am, £7 (£5), free b4 11.30pm with matric. AUDIO, BLOC, House, techno & electro from DJ Aiden , 9pm-3am, Free BAD ROBOT, GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART, Loose Joints & Stevie Elements play from rock to techno & breakbeats, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5), £2 GSA, free after 12am DIRTY RECORDZ, GUU, Paul N’Jie (Beat 106) plays current tunes, open decks downstairs, 10pm-2am, £3 (£2, £1), free b4 9pm DISCO ACTION!, THE BRICK, Andy Piacentini & Simon Cordiner with leftfield disco & underground high jinx, 9.30pm-2am, £3 DIVINE!, THE VIC BAR, Sets from Mr. Divine & Belle & Sebastian, 11pm-3am, £6 (£5) FREEFALL, THE ARCHES, Simon Foy, Alan Belshaw & Fraser Latta, 10pm-3am, £10 GET IDIOT, BARFLY, IDIOteque DJs, 10.30pm-3am, £4 GROOVEJET, MAS, Weekly house & RnB mix, 11pm3am, £7 (£5) HIP DROP, BREL, Funk, soul, electro & disco from Robbie Rolex & Nel, 9pm-1am, Free HOME COOKIN’, BELO, Urban music showcase, 10pm3am, £7, free b4 11pm HOMEGROWN, BAMBOO, Stevie Sole Middleton, Domenic Martin & Scottie B play house and smooth RnB, jazz & funk, 9pm-3am, £5, free b4 10.30pm/12.30am students INNER CITY ACID, SOUNDHAUS, The Wasp (Monox), Phat Kay, Graeme Dunn, Ronin, Richie Mobbs - house, techno & breaks, 11pm-late, £6 (£5) I LOVE THE GARAGE, THE GARAGE, Classics, 10.30pm3am, £7 (£5), £6 (£4) b4 12am KARBON SATURDAYS, KARBON, Kev McFarlane, Stephen Lee, Woody play house & hip hop classics, 10.30pm-3am, £tbc MR. SCRUFF & FRIENDS, THE ARCHES, 6 hour set from Scruff, 9pm-3am, £11 NU-SCHOOL, THE BUFF CLUB, Fresh northern soul, jazz & funk featuring live percussion, classics downstairs, 10.30pm-3am, £6 OPEN DEX, DEEP 6 (GUU), Bring your vinyl/CDs if you think you can do better, 9pm-1am, £1, £2 non-members

THURSDAY 14 DECEMBER

*.*, THE BUFF CLUB, Rock’n’roll & northern soul, 11pm-3am, £3

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian

SUNDAY 10 DECEMBER

MONDAY 11 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 12 DECEMBER

12 HOUR TUESDAYS, SSU, Chart music & live comedy, 3pm-3am, £2, free b4 3pm

FRIDAY 15 DECEMBER

ABC FRIDAYS, ABC1, Genre mash-up from Euan Neilson,

WEDNESDAY 13 DECEMBER

www.skinnymag.co.uk

Chicks With Dykes

THE WIDE ANGLE: GIMME SOME TRANS FATS

by: Ioana Poprowka

MOVING FROM DEFAULT HETEROSEXUALITY TO EMBRACING A LESBIAN IDENTITY CAME AS A SURPRISE FOR IOANA POST-TRANSITION.

Eye of the Beholder

by: Jack O’Sullivan

LGBT VENUE GUIDE

EDINBURGH

www.skinnymag.co.uk

FAT GENDERQUEERS, FAT TRANSGENDERED PEOPLE, YOUR ABSENCE HAS BEEN NOTED

BEING ACCEPTED AS MALE IS GOOD NEWS IF YOU’RE A TRANS MAN. PASSING FOR STRAIGHT, THOUGH, ISN’T ALWAYS A DESIRED RESULT.

CHARLOTTE COOPER LAMENTS THE LACK OF FAT TRANS ROLE MODELS

LGBT

WEDNESDAY 6 DECEMBER

GLASGOW CLUBS

CRISTY ROAD WWW.CROADCORE.ORG

LISTINGS

CHARLOTTE COOPER IS A WRITER AND FAT ACTIVIST. FIND OUT MORE AT WWW.CHARLOTTECOOPER.NET

DESTINATION, 17 Albert Place, - New cabaret bar - one

THE STREET, 2 Picardy Place – Smart décor, laid-back

DELMONICA’S, 68 Virginia Street – The queen bee of

atmosphere, and some of the best bloody marys in Edinburgh. TWIST, 26B Dublin Street – A warm and almost Mediterranean feel, with a colourful range of eats and wines.

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

4 students

TOP

EVENTS

SHORTBUS, 1 Dec (release date) See Film section for more details

LOUD AND PROUD CHOIR WINTER CONCERT

Two Words

by: Imogen Park

CRISTY ROAD WWW.CROADCORE.ORG

HOMEGROWN, BAMBOO, Stevie Sole Middleton, Do-

SATURDAY 16 DECEMBER

SUNDAY 17 DECEMBER

MONDAY 18 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 19 DECEMBER

THURSDAY 21 DECEMBER

CLUB LISTINGS

TFI FRIDAY, SSU, DJ Phil, 4pm-3am, £2 after 5pm, free

WEDNESDAY 20 DECEMBER

WWW.TSPREX.COM

16 Dec, 8pm, entry by donation St Augustine’s Church, George IV Bridge, Edinburgh

FUR-BURGER XMAS PARTY - FOR GIRLS WHO LIKE GIRLS , 22 Dec, 10pm - 2am, £4 Twist, Basement Club, 26b Dublin Street, Edinburgh

UTTER GUTTER ANTI-CHRIST-MAS PANTO PARTY 26 Dec, 10:30pm - 3am, £15 Riverside Club, Fox Street, Glasgow

Straight as Folk

by: Alma Cork

IF YOU’RE TRANS AND STRAIGHT, HOW DO YOU FIT IN TO THE LGBT SCENE?

GUYS DO COFFEE, 27 Dec, 11am Trans Men Scotland ‘coffee morning’, central Edinburgh admin@transmenscotland.org.ukRiverside Club, Fox Street, Glasgow WWW.UTTERGUTTER.COM

Up until the point when I threw myself, vodkasodden and horny as hell, at a guy who gave me just the right type of ‘fancy a fuck?’ eyes, I’d tentatively identified as bisexual.

CRISTY ROAD WWW.CROADCORE.ORG

CHARACTERS IN FILM.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

THURSDAY 28 DECEMBER

*.*, THE BUFF CLUB, Rock’n’roll & northern soul, 11pm3am, £3

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian

FRIDAY 22 DECEMBER

SUNDAY 24 DECEMBER

MONDAY 25 DECEMBER

TUESDAY 26 DECEMBER

FRIDAY 29 DECEMBER

SATURDAY 23 DECEMBER

WEDNESDAY 27 DECEMBER

54 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

Go Away! TO SOHO, LONDON

GETTING AWAY

STAYING AWAY

To get the full effect without having to get so much as a rickshaw ride home, you can stay at the YHA Oxford Street hostel, or Picadilly Backpackers offers beds for as cheap as £12.

EATING AND DRINKING AWAY

SATURDAY 30 DECEMBER

LIFESTYLE

LISTINGS

text & photo: Marcie Hume

SUNDAY 31 DECEMBER

MONDAY 1ST JANUARY

TUESDAY 2ND JANUARY

ABOLICANO CAPOEIRA SCOTLAND, RSAMD, Brazilian martial art with dance & music, 6pm-7.30pm, £tbc

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

ALL STAR, BAMBOO, Andy Wilson plays funk with DJ Kash

LEO

SCORPIO

AQUARIUS

TAURUS

‘Tis the season to be jolly – Fa la la la la la la la la. Wear red if you want someone to notice you.

The greatest gift is the gift of life but teenage pregnancy is so unsightly. Watch out, it’s catching. Keep an eye out for a handsome shop keeper

Like the old TV re-runs of the Great Escape, now’s your chance to bolt. Why change the habit of a lifetime? Wear glasses to look more interesting.

Love is in the air so keep the mistletoe handy and remember, gingers love kisses too. Orange will be your lucky colour.

SAGITTARIUS

PISCES

GEMINI

LIBRA

With Rudolph and the reindeers flying around Uranus, your aspirations to be an elf increase tenfold. December is your month.

You will get everything you wish for this year. All of us astrologers know that Pisces is the best. A dark Arian will make you smile.

If your dad is a coal-miner ask Santa for a tangerine. Number three will be lucky for you.

There’s someone at work who loves you. Could they be the stuffing in your turkey? Avoid men in black.

CAPRICORN

ARIES

With Pluto no longer recognised as a planet, you are no longer recognised as a person. You will be lonely this Christmas. Solace is found in an internet chat room.

Have you been good this year? Will there be any presents under the tree? Are you sure? It’s not too late to make amends.

With Saturn in its third wake, pudding doesn’t make you fat. Eat pudding! Cream and custard will be your friends.

VIRGO Popping a cracker with a stranger will reveal more than a one liner. And you will get a lovely hat.

CANCER

GLASGOW CLUBS CONT...

EDINBURGH CLUBS FRIDAY 1ST DECEMBER

SATURDAY 2ND DECEMBER

WEDNESDAY 3RD JANUARY

DESIGNER VAGINAS

BOND ON BOND

SAFELY ON THE ROCKS The Editor of semi-popular Scottish lifestyle and listings

SUNDAY 3RD DECEMBER

BABY DOLL, PO NA NA, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £5, £4 b4 12am

BACRADI B-LIVE, LULU, Invitation only party with Joey

CLUB LISTINGS

Stars

LIFESTYLE

by Billy Crystal

SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY (LIVE), THE BONGO CLUB,

Alternative music for justified sinners with Mystery Juice & Roys Iron dna, 10.30pm-3am, £3, free b4 11pm SIENTELO!, EL BARRIO, Latin America music mixed with

London Calling? THIS MONTH: JULIE FLETCHER

by Sarah Hunter

photo: Jane Fenton

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

EDINBURGH CLUBS

LOUNGE, LIBERTY’S BAR (HERIOT-WATT), Eclectic mix of

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal,

BOOTYLUSHOUS, MEDINA, RnB, soul, funk & disco with

MONDAY 4TH DECEMBER

TUESDAY 5TH DECEMBER 11pm-3am, Free

FRIDAY 8TH DECEMBER

SUNDAY 10TH DECEMBER

BABY DOLL, PO NA NA, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £5, £4 b4 12am

GET FUNK’D, MEDINA, Double D & Isla play hip hop to

SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY (LIVE), THE BONGO CLUB,

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal, 11pm-3am, Free

THE DIAMOND DICE, MASSA, Hip hop, RnB & grime with your host Mr. Jinx, 10.30pm-3am, £5 FRUNT, THE LIQUID ROOM, DJ Stuart Johnston playing house music all night long, 10.30pm-3am, Free MOTHERFUNK, OPAL LOUNGE, Fryer & Gino play original soul, funk, disco, latin & hip hop, 10pm-3am, Free REWIND, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, 100% upfront RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £2, ladies free b4 12am SPLIT, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Blend of house, techno, drum & bass, healthy mid-week rave, 11.30pm-3am, Free SWING DANCE CLASSES, THE BONGO CLUB, Beginners at 7pm, advanced at 8pm, social dancing at 9, 7pm-9pm, £4 (£3) for one, £6 (£5) for both LULU, Frazer McGlinchey & Hobbes - eclectic soul, 8pm3am, £4, free b4 10pm PIVO CAFFE, Trouble DJs, 7pm-3am, Free

WEDNESDAY 13TH DECEMBER

CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4)

HOT SUSHI, TOKYO, Lisa Littlewood plays funky house & club classics, 10pm-3am, £tbc INDI-GO, THE LIQUID ROOM, Indie & alternative, 10.30pm3am, £2, £1 students INSOMNIA, PRIVE’ COUNCIL, Warner Powers & Claudio bring fresh house tunes each week, 10pm-3am, Free PAUL DALY, PIVO CAFFE, Free flowing funk to house, 9pm3am, Free THE PIT, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock & metal, 11pm-3am, Free STIR FRIED, THE OUTHOUSE, Pre-club with indie & rock from B-Sides & Bootross Rock, 9pm-1am, Free TOASTER, CITRUS CLUB, Breaks & Bobs, 11pm-3am, £3, free b4 11.30pm TOXIK, OPIUM, DJ Nu-Clear playing new & old metal & hard rock, 8pm-3am, Free WE ARE … ELECTRIC, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Gary Mac & Kev Wright with Reachout in the back, 11.30pm-3am, £2, free b4 12am/members

WHAT NEXT, COCTEAU LOUNGE (DOWNSTAIRS AT EGO),

Indie, artrock & agitpop, 11pm-3am, £3 BARAKA, Funk, soul, disco, dancehall & reggae, 8pm-late, Free LULU, Mash & Jon Pleased - past & future electronic classics, 8pm-3am, £4, free b4 10pm

To a T

by RJ Thomson

- MAKE YOUR OWN SHIRT

LIFESTYLE

LISTINGS

THURSDAY 14TH DECEMBER

ALTER EGO, PO NA NA, DJ Diverse with indie, rock n roll & electro, 11pm-3am, £5 (£3)

BEAT ROOT JUICE CLUB, THE JAZZ BAR, Live afrobeat from The Goat Stew Orchestra & resident DJ B*Wax, 10pm3am, Free

BLACK TAPE, COCTEAU LOUNGE (DOWNSTAIRS AT EGO),

WEDNESDAY 6TH DECEMBER

MONDAY 11TH DECEMBER

SATURDAY 9TH DECEMBER

THURSDAY 7TH DECEMBER

FRIDAY 15TH DECEMBER

TUESDAY 12TH DECEMBER

56 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

SCOOTS - THE SHEEP HEID

SPORTS CAFE

‘SCOOT’ – AN ADVENTURE YOU CAN EMBARK ON FROM EDINBURGH OR GLASGOW TO A SECRET LITTLE PLACE OF INTEREST.

POMEGRANATE

VERMILION

EST EST EST

FRESH, WHOLESOME ‘FAST SLOW FOOD’ IN NEWINGTON’S BRAND NEW VEGETARIAN CAFE

RICH IN FOOD, RICH IN SURROUNDINGS

FRESH OBAN MUSSELS WERE TENDER AND FLAVOURSOME; THE BEST IN EDINBURGH I HAVE TASTED.

THE SCOTSMAN HOTEL, 20 NORTH BRIDGE, OLD TOWN. TEL 0131 556 5565.

WWW.ESTESTEST.CO.UK

POMEGRANATE, 95 ST. LEONARD STREET, EDINBURGH

WWW.THESCOTSMANHOTELGROUP.CO.UK

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

SCOTTISH HOBO SOCIETY (LIVE), THE BONGO CLUB,

MONDAY 18TH DECEMBER

ABSOLUTE, STUDIO 24, Techno & hard house with

SATURDAY 16TH DECEMBER

TUESDAY 19TH DECEMBER

135A GEORGE ST EDINBURGH, 0131 225 2255 CLOSED MON/TUES.

WEDNESDAY 20TH DECEMBER

SUNDAY 17TH DECEMBER

THURSDAY 21ST DECEMBER

0131 667 5616

CLUB LISTINGS CLUB LISTINGS

EATING & DRINKING

www.skinnymag.co.uk

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

BOUNCE, PO NA NA, DJ 2three playing urban sounds, 11pm-3am, £4 (£3)

HOUSEBOUND, EGO, Sexy house, funky stuff, electro &

FRIDAY 22ND DECEMBER

SUNDAY 24TH DECEMBER

BABY DOLL, PO NA NA, Funky house, 11pm-3am, £5, £4 b4 12am

MONDAY 25TH DECEMBER

THE LATIN QUARTER, MEDINA, Salsa, funk & latin house, 10pm-3am, Free

PONY CLUB, TOKYO, Funky house, RnB & hip hop, 10pm-3am, £4 (£3)

ROCK KARAOKE, OPIUM, Rock Karaoke, From 8pm, Free

TASTE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Escape Xmas Party with Fisher & Price, Martin Valentine, 11pm-5am, £15 (£12) BARAKA, P-Haze playing mashup, 8.30pm-1am, Free LULU, Xmas party tbc, tbc, tbc

TUESDAY 26TH DECEMBER

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal, 11pm-3am, Free

WEDNESDAY 27TH DECEMBER

CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4)

HOT SUSHI, TOKYO, Lisa Littlewood plays funky house &

SATURDAY 23RD DECEMBER

THURSDAY 28TH DECEMBER

58 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

EDINBURGH CLUBS LUCKYME, CITY CAFÉ, Hip hop, soul & off beats,

5am, £15

SALSA DISCO, CUBA NORTE, Salsa dance & tasty tapas,

b4 12am

8.30pm-1am, Free 10pm-1am, Free

FRIDAY 29TH DECEMBER

SATURDAY 30TH DECEMBER

SUNDAY 31ST DECEMBER

AFTERDARK, THE LIQUID ROOM, All kinds o house, 9pm-

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

MONDAY 1ST JANUARY

TUESDAY 2ND JANUARY

ANTICS, SUBWAY COWGATE, Rock, emo, punk & metal,

theSKINNY in UGLY FOR ART

pictures

LIFESTYLE

LISTINGS

by Mike Duffy

JOHN TRAVOLTA, IN BATTLEFIELD EARTH

SAMANTHA MORTON, IN MINORITY REPORT

CHARLIZE THERON, IN MONSTER

NICOLE KIDMAN, IN THE HOURS

11pm-3am, Free

WEDNESDAY 3RD JANUARY

CHAMBLES, OPAL LOUNGE, Funk & chart with DJ Jez Hill, 9pm-3am, £5 (£4)

www.skinnymag.co.uk

DANNY DEVITO, IN BATMAN RETURNS

BRAD PITT, IN SNATCH

SEANCONNERY, IN DRAGONHEART

MEATLOAF, IN FIGHTCLUB

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

LIFESTYLE I

FRIDAY 1 DECEMBER

THIS MONTH’S LETTERS

Heads up! GIMME SHELTER FESTIVAL ‘06

THE SCOTTISH DREAM

MONO, SUNDAY 17 DEC. £DONATION

THESCOTTISHDREAM@AOL.CO.UK

MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD, ARCHES, Political rap, 8pm, £12.50

ISOCELES (LIVE) , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

MONDAY 4 DECEMBER

ARAB STRAP * NOTE CHANGE OF VENUE, DOORS NOW 7PM, ABC, Farewell to Falkirk’s most poetic, 7pm, *Sold Out*

MIRREN

SARAH

ROB

WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU

WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU

WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD MUSIC YOU

HEARD?

REGRET IT?

What do you get if you cross a pit bull and a Labrador? A dog that scares the shit out of you and then runs off with the loo roll.

REGRET IT?

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

WHEN DID YOU LAST SPEND MONEY AND

REGRET IT?

www.skinnymag.co.uk

CONCEPT OF TIME , BARFLY, 8.30pm, £4.00 CLAIRE WOOD , BLOC, 9pm, Free YASHIN, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc MAGIC NUMBERS, BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, £16.00 THE CHARLATANS, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, *sold out*

NU GROUND EP LAUNCH NIGHT + CASTRO + YELLOW BENTINES, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc FOY VANCE + THE FORTUNATE SONS , BLOC, 10pm, Free

JOHN PEEBLES, BEANSCENE,

SHAWLANDS, 9pm, Free

ety rise again, 8.30pm, £10.00 KEEP’ER LIT*, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free

:VIVA STEREO-ODEON BEAT CLUB, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

THE LEDZEPPELIN STORY, ORAN MOR, 8pm, £12.00 GALLUS COOPER & NO DICE, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THE NEON HEARTS, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £6.00 STRUCK DUM RECORDS: DB68-JOE FAMOUS, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

MICHAEL SIMONS, TCHAIOVNA,

SOUTHSIDE, folk, blues

and beyond from this fingerstyle guitarist, 8pm, £2

RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

DJ JUNIOR , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

THURSDAY 7 DECEMBER

BLACK WIRE & NEILS CHILDREN, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £7.00

THE AVERAGE FOLK BAND, THE FELT TIPS, THE ALARMIST, THE LIQUID SHIP, 8pm, £2

FRIDAY 8 DECEMBER

THE BUZZCOCKS, ABC, Fast paced, 7pm, £15.00 EYRKA + LOCAL HERO + THE HILLCOATS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THE OFFICIAL DIRTY PRETTY THINGS AFTERSHOW PARTY @ THE FUNHOUSE, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc JOHN PEEBLES, BEANSCENE, WOODLANDS, 8.30pm, Free

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS WITH LARRIKIN LOVE AND MANDO DIAO, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, Sold Out HOWLING BELLS, CATHOUSE, Late night country folk musings, 8.30pm, £5.00

JOOLS HOLLAND AND HIS RHYTHM AND BLUES ORCHESTRA, CLYDE AUDITORIUM, 7.30pm, £28.00 DAS BOOT , BLOC, 12am, Free MARK MORRISS (BLUETONES), FURY MURRYS, 8pm, £7.00

EZIO + EOGHAN COLGAN, KING TUT’S, 8.30pm, £10.00

TUESDAY 5 DECEMBER

pioneers, 7.30pm, £20.00

7.30pm, £25.00

DANCES ON THE SAND WITH BETH FOURACRE, ACOUSTIC BUG, BILLY BATES AND EMMA JAYNE , THE

SUNDAY 3 DECEMBER

EMERGENCY RED + NINE CIRCLES + THE CALDERAS + CITY, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc DRAGONFORCE, BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, sold out THE HUMAN LEAGUE, CARLING ACADEMY, Electronic pop

SHIP, , 8pm, £2

CLUB, 8pm, £9.00

£6.00

SUNDAY 10 DECEMBER

£8.50

AUDITORIUM, 7.30pm, £35.00

BURGH HALLS, 8pm, £10.00

SIREN , BLOC, 1am, Free THE REVIVALS AND THE CASUALS, BARFLY, 8.30pm,

LIL CHRIS, ABC2, Uncomfortably mature themes, 7pm,

RUSSELL WATSON * RESCHEDULED TO 5/4/7, CLYDE

£8.00

ANDREW

WEDNESDAY 6 DECEMBER

8.30pm, £6/5.00

THE BIG SING WITH SHEPHEARD, SPIERS AND WATSON AND GEORGE PAPAVGERIS, THE ANNEXE, 8pm,

ANNA

tish songs: voice, guitar and bozouki, 8pm, £2

EOGHAN COGHLAN, CIARAN DORRIS , THE LIQUID

7pm, £4

KATRINA

ALLAN Y MCDOUGALL, TCHAIOVNA, traditional Scot-

DECENT SOULS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc SAW DOCTORS, BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, *sold out* SAT DIRTY RECORDS XMAS PARTY, CLASSIC GRAND,

BAD MEDICINE / KONG, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 MORRISSEY, SECC, 7.30pm, £32.50 DUNCAN WALTERS BAND, WOODEND TENNIS + BOWLING

THE MEADOWS, EDINBURGH

ROYAL CONCERT HALL , Witty songwriter, 7.30pm, tbc

OTAGO LANE, 8pm, free

THE RAGGAELS, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free THESE ARMS ARE SNAKES, NICE N SLEAZY, 8pm, £7.00 CAPTAIN, ORAN MOR, 8pm, £8.50 THE BIG DAY OOT WITH OLD BLIND DOGS, PARTICK

photo: Alain Irureta

RANDY CRAWFORD AND THE JOE SAMPLE TRIO ,

KING TUTS, 8.30pm, sold out

Gimme Shelter Festival - Attic Lights

GUTTER TALK

7pm, £4

THE DYKEENIES, GARAGE, Local heroes, 8pm, £7.00 TOM MCRAE PRESENTS ARTISTS OF THE HOTEL CAFE,

LETTERS@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

sold out

group, 8.30pm, £7.00

£11.00

AZRIEL, CATHOUSE, 8.30pm, £7.00 BRAKES AND TINY DANCERS, KING TUTS, Indie Super-

Mikaelak, Torkel & Jimmy are fascinated by the Skinny LGBT section in cold Stockholm. Send your pictures of The Skinny On Tour to:

Free

BEAUTIFUL SOUP , BLOC, 8pm, Free COMPLETE STONE ROSES , CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm,

Xavier

THE SKINNY ON TOUR

THE GLASGOW SONGWRITERS, BLACKFRIARS, 9pm,

CLUB LISTINGS

GLASGOW LIVE

monthly story telling evening, 8pm, free FIFTH AND PONTIAC, ABC, 7pm, £6

SATURDAY 9 DECEMBER

£17.00

BJORN AGAIN, CLYDE AUDITORIUM, 7.30pm, £18.50 DARKEST HOUR, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £10.00 JOE VITERBO-MY OWN RELIGION, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

DANIKA + GUESTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

MONDAY 11 DECEMBER

TENACIOUS D , GLASGOW - SECC , 8pm, tbc DUELS, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £7.00 THE HORRORS, ORAN MOR, 8pm, £8.00 ROUGHMATE & CAPTAIN KATE PLUS 3 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

BOOTLEG BEATLES , ROYAL CONCERT HALL , 7.30pm, tbc THE BEZERKER, SOUNDHAUS, 8pm, £12.00 YAMAN, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, sitar, flute and mixes, 8pm, £2

TUESDAY 12 DECEMBER

THE FINAL PAGE + THE KICK + FAST CAMELS, THE + POTETENTIAL DIFFERENCE + EXPERIENCE + WRECKED + SILENT TRANSMISSION, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc STEWART TRAQUAIR, BEANSCENE, SHAWLANDS, 9pm, Free

THE POGUES, CARLING ACADEMY, 7.30pm, £26.00 NORTHSIDE, KING TUTS, The Madchester revival starst here, 8.30pm, £10.00

BELLINGHAM AND ROBINSON, THE MISS’S, OWEN MCAULAY , THE LIQUID SHIP, , 8pm, £2 TRANSAUDIO , BLOC, 11pm, Free

WEDNESDAY 13 DECEMBER

BREAKPOINT + BODY EXPERIENCE REVIEW + THEM SCALLY BOYS + THE ONLY JONES + THE ENCIERRO + THE SHERMANS + HITLIST YOUTH + THE KOROVAS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THE BUSINESS, CATHOUSE, 8.30pm, £10.00 WHITE ROSE MOVEMENT, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £8.00 SLEEPMODE-THE FIRESOULS-5 STICKS OF DYNAMITE, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

ROCKETFOX, THE DEBUTS, ANAVRIS, DEAD BEFORE MONDAY, YESTERDAYS ASHES & THE DELOREANS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

CANDIRU JAZZ, TCHAIOVNA,

OTAGO LANE, modern jazz standards played by our resident trio, 8pm, £2 MICHAEL SIMONS, TCHAIOVNA, SOUTHSIDE, folk, blues and beyond from this fingerstyle guitarist, 8pm, £2

FREAK SCENE WITH SATELLITE DUB AND I AM BLIP , THE

SKINDRED + PSYCHO DALEK, ABC2, 7pm, £8.00 MR SCRUFF , ARCHES, Wonky dance maestro, 8pm,

email listings to: listings@skinnymag.co.uk

BABYSHAMBLES *RESCHEDULED FROM 7TH OCTOBER, CARLING ACADEMY, Albion’s dreaming, 7.30pm,

RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

THE OMINOUS , BLOC, 10pm, Free

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

GLASGOW LIVE

THURSDAY 14 DECEMBER

SUNDAY 24 DECEMBER

‘OBAN: IT’S NOT THAT FAR’ FESTIVAL LAUNCH,

NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

DISCOMILITIA, ROSES FOR THE DEAD, THE VIBE, SILVER BULLET AND CONONEL TURN ON, ROCKERS, 7pm:00, £4

ANDREA MARINI, TCHAIOVNA,

OTAGO LANE, singer

songwriter in the Bob Dylan / Leonard Cohen vein, 8pm, £2

COBA FYNN, RAINBOWSHEEP, JOHN B MCKENNA, ROB THOMSON , THE LIQUID SHIP, , 8pm, £2 NO KILTER + MY FINAL WISH , BLOC, 8pm, Free

FRIDAY 15 DECEMBER

RICK WITTER AND THE DUKES , KING TUTS, Loose guitar indie, 8.30pm, £10.00

READING ALLOWED, TCHAIOVNA,

SOUTHSIDE, poetry

and short story readings, 8pm, free ANIMAL FARM , BLOC, 9pm, Free

SATURDAY 16 DECEMBER

ING + FOR YOUR SINS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc JOHN LEGEND, CARLING ACADEMY, Smooth soulful grooves, 7.30pm, £25.00

ROCCO DE LUCA + LUCKY JIM + PAUL NAPIER, KING TUT’S, Glamour and guitar heroics, 8.30pm:00, £7.00

KILTER CHRISTMAS CEILIDH, PIPING CENTRE, 8pm, £20.00

TUESDAY 19 DECEMBER

NON ZERO, THE BALLENTINES, BLUE WHISKEY & 3 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 OUR LUNAR ACTIVITIES-SYMBOLICS, NICE’N’SLEAZY,

trio: Colin McGibbon (drums), Dave Dominey (bass), Chris Devoti (guitar), 8pm, £2

WEDNESDAY 20 DECEMBER

CROSSFIRE / USUAL SUSPECTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 SNOW PATROL, SECC, 19:30, *Sold Out* THE RIOTONES (LIVE) , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free BEAUTIFUL SOUP , BLOC, Energetic trio, 7:00, Free

SUNDAY 17 DECEMBER

HANK BARRICK, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE TOMMYS, BARROWLAND 2, Punky wit, 7pm:00, £6.00

THE GLASGOW SONGWRITERS, BLACKFRIARS, 21:00, Free

HAMPER, CAPITOL, 8pm, £5 THE ROOTS, CARLING ACADEMY, Conscious hip-hop, 7.30pm, £17.50

ROCKETFOX, CLASSIC GRAND, 8.30pm, £5.00 QUINN, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £6.00 NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB + QUINN, KING TUT’S, 8.30pm, £7.00

MONDAY 18 DECEMBER

FOR YOUR SINS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £4.00 RAGING SPEEDHORN, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £6.00 DELIMSERGE + TORNE + ARIEL CAUSED THE HAUNT-

60 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

WOODEND TENNIS + BOWLING CLUB, 8pm, £14.00

TUT’S, 8.30pm, £6.00

GRIM NORTHERN SOCIAL, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £7.50 ORIGINALS*, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free RIDERS ON THE STORM FEATURING RAY MANZAREK, ROBBY KRIEGER AND IAN ASTBURY , CLYDE AUDITORIUM,

MONDAY 25 DECEMBER,

Doors reunited, 7.30pm, £35.00

TUESDAY 26 DECEMBER

SATURDAY 30 DECEMBER

ROOST / USUAL SUSPECTS, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 THE GRIM NORTHERN SOCIAL + KEMPES, KING TUT’S, Glam rock in the stadium style., 8.30pm, £7.50 THE ALMIGHTY, GARAGE, 8pm, £15.00

KNUCKLEDUST, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

and beyond from this fingerstyle guitarist, 8pm, £2 MY LATEST NOVEL, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £8.00

THROUGH THE BELLS WITH THE DEMONS EYE, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

HOGMANAY PARTY WITH FINDO GASK & FRIENDS, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc

DANCES ON THE SAND WITH JEAN HONEYMOON, PAUL J, CARRAGH NUGENT + SPECIAL GUEST. , THE

songwriters and bands, 8pm, £2 SPARE SNARE, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £6.00

£20.00 until 24/12/0

RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free

8.30pm, £6.00

DURHTY KIMMO’S BUFTY -FEST , BLOC, 9pm, Free OCEAN COLOUR SCENE , BARROWLAND, 7.30pm,

£14.00

WEDNESDAY 3 JANUARY

FRIDAY 29 DECEMBER

TARGET 32 + PART TIME SIGNALS, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

*sold out*

TABLE 57 + COLLAR UP, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc THE CUTS + THE LONG WALK HOME + R.O.T.S, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

THURSDAY 21 DECEMBER

CALL THE SKINNY TICKET LINE FOR TICKETS TO ANY OF THE GIGS IN PINK ON THIS PAGE. DON’T SAY WE DIDN’T WARN YA!

FALL TO ORDER, DEMASIADO, SURGING OF FLUX, ASSOCIATE, MARCHA LENTA & RED STRING, ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

£4

A TRUE STORY, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc STARLA RECORDS NIGHT. , THE RIO CAFÉ, 8pm, free UNCLE JOHN AND WHITELOCK, KING TUTS, Zombie Blues, 8.30pm, £6.50

BEAT ROUTE *, MOLLY MALONES, 9.30pm, Free HARDCORE TIL I DIE, ARCHES, 8pm, £17 RED SNOWMAN + IN ERNEST + TEMPERCALM, BARFLY, 8.30pm, tbc

HUNDRED REASONS THE BOY MOST LIKELY GET CAPE, WEAR CAPE, FLY RAY LA MONTAGNE RAY LA MONTAGNE CUE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR HOT CLUB DE PARIS HELLOGOODBYE

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

JANUARY: JAN-9 JAN-19 JAN-21 JAN-22 JAN-24 JAN-25 JAN-28 JAN-27

KING TUTS, GLASGOW ORAN MOR, GLASGOW QMU, GLASGOW CLYDE AUDITORIUM, GLASGOW USHER HALL, EDINBURGH CATHOUSE,, GLASGOW KING TUTS, GLASGOW QMU, GLASGOW

www. skinnymag. co. uk

6-11 LIFESTYLE Gutter talk Ugly for Art Go Away - Soho

6 7 11

12-13 LGBT 14-17 FILM

2006 Reviews Kate Winslet

Transgender Special p12

16 17

18 DVDs 19 GAMES 20-21 THEATRE 22-23 BOOKS 24-25 ARTS 26-39 SOUNDS Riders On The Storm 2006 Round-Up Arab Strap Tenacious D Album Reviews SL Records Single Reviews

26 32 34 34 36 37 38

Tv on the Radio p32

40-49 BEATS Arrested Development Roots Manuva

0871 230 4436 DECEMBER:

CONTENTS Transgender Special

SUNDAY 31 DECEMBER

8.30pm, tbc

OTAGO LANE, acoustic soundscapes featuring Mole Harness and Jasper Leyland, 8pm, £2 FRIGHTENED RABBIT, KING TUTS, 8.30pm, £5.00 OCEAN COLOUR SCENE , BARROWLAND, 7.30pm, *sold out*

paranoid swelling rock, 8pm, tbc

KEVIN MONTGOMERY BAND FEATURING AL PERKINS,

HOT LOVE (T-REX MANIA ), ROCKERS, 7pm, £4 THE AD’S, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc AMPERSAND + EXIT PILOT + HANK BARRICK, KING

COBRA GRANDE-INFORMATION CONTROL-THE SLEEP WALKERS, NICE’N’SLEAZY, 8pm, tbc THE IMPOSSIBLE FLOWERS & FRIENDS, TCHAIOVNA,

TUT’S, 8.30pm:, £7.00

OTAGO LANE, singer songwriter duo strongly influenced by the blues, 8pm, £2 VEGAS, THE FERRY, 8pm, £9.00

THE CITISINS + 4 BANDS TBC, ROCKERS, 7pm:00, £4 BLANK EXPRESSIONS, THE JURORS + 3 BANDS TBC, YAMAN, TCHAIOVNA, OTAGO LANE, sitar & flute 8pm, £2 ROCKERS, 7pm, £4

THOMAS TRUAX, BARFLY, 8.30pm, £5.00 THE SCUFFERS, BARROWLAND 2, 7.45pm, £6 PHARRELL, CARLING ACADEMY, R’n’B superstar, 7.30pm, £30.00

WING AND A PRAYER, TCHAIOVNA,

CONTENTS

LISTINGS

40 42

50-63 LISTINGS Tenacious D p34

£10.00 £11.00 £36.00 £9.00 £22.50 £12.50 £6.00 £14.50 £16.50 £23.50 £11.00 £23.50 £15.00 £13.00 £9.50 £28.00 £26.00 £15.00 £17.50 £25.00 £6.00 £8.00 £43.00

£13.00 £10.00 £9.00 £17.50 £17.50 £9.50 £7.00 £10.50

www.mcclurenaismith.com Solicitors and supporter of The Skinny Contact: Euan Duncan 0141 303 7814

DISTRIBUTION: THE SKINNY IS DISTRIBUTED MONTHLY

THE EXPLICIT PERMISSION OF THE PUBLISHER.

THOUGH A NETWORK OF BARS, CLUBS, RETAIL OUTLETS,

THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED WITHIN THIS PUB-

MUSIC STORES, CAFES, VENUES, HOSTELS AND LIFESTYLE

LICATION DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE VIEWS

CENTRES IN EDINBURGH AND GLASGOW. IF YOU WOULD

OR OPINIONS OF THE PRINTER OR THE PUBLISHER.

LIKE TO BE ON THE DISTRIBUTION LIST PLEASE CONTACT

PRINTED BY DC THOMSON

SKINNY@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK.

www.skinnymag.co.uk

December 06

ISSUE FIFTEEN

THE SKINNY TEAM PUBLISHER MANAGING EDITORS MARKETING MANAGER GLASGOW MANAGER DEPUTY EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR PICTURES SUBEDIT & ART MUSIC GLASGOW MUSIC CLUBS

CONTRIBUTORS CLUBS LISTINGS ONLINE ASSISTANT ONLINE FASHION EDITOR FILM BOOKS LGBT GAMES LAYOUT ASSISTANCE

EDINBURGH LIVE FRIDAY 1ST DECEMBER

EDITORIAL

ARAB STRAP, CABARET VOLTAIRE, Final date in the capital

FLATLINER PLUS MIDNIGHT STILLS, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Also includes Narration, 9pm, £4

LEE PATTERSON, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free LIANE CARROLL PLUS CATHIE RAE TRIO, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10

STRANGE BREW, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE SADIES, CLUB EGO, Punk, surf, bluegrass and cosmic country, 8.30pm, £10

THE USUAL SUSPECTS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4 VAN MORRISON, USHER HALL, 7pm, £32 WIRED DESIRE, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Rock and metal, also includes The Illusion Principle, 7.30pm, £4

SATURDAY 2ND DECEMBER

CANDYTHIEF , HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Also includes Player Piano and The Red Well, 7.30pm, £5 (£4) CAPDOWN, SUBWAY COWGATE, TBC, £8

Wrap up warm, Sophie x

DISTANT SOUL PLUS BRADY COLE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

DROPKICK , CAFÉ ROYAL, Also includes The Sundowns

CONTRIBUTORS

and Attic Lights, 8.30pm, £5 MOISHE’S BAGEL , THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10 ROGUESTAR, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

SMOKED GLASS PLUS VITAMIN FLINTHEART, THE LIQUID ROOM, TBC, £6

THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD,

SUNDAY 3RD DECEMBER

SEND YOUR ANSWERS, ALONG WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS AND CONTACT NUMBER TO: COMPETITIONS@SKINNYMAG.CO.UK

The hotly tipped new next-gen tactical-shooter Rainbow Six Vegas (the 360 version) is available to TEN lucky Skinny readers. Take ‘em down! (as my mother used to say).

PENPUSHERS PLUS SILENI AND THE EATERS, BANNERhiphop, 9pm, £4

STEVE HARLEY AND COCKNEY REBEL, THE QUEEN’S HALL, TBC, £20

TARNEYBACKLE, ROYAL OAK, Wee Folk Club, 8.30pm, £3

MONDAY 4TH DECEMBER

3 MEN AND BLACK, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £12 CAPTAIN KICK & THE COWBOY RAMBLERS PLUS KING CHARLES, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Also includesNoah & The Whale, 9pm, £4

Simply let us know where else in the magazine you have seen this cheeky little elf!

JUST TURN UP, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE GREAT JAM SESSION, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free TOM MCRAE, CABARET VOLTAIRE, TBC, £13

TUESDAY 5TH DECEMBER

BAND SHOWCASE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £6 FOLK N’ FRIENDS, THE WAVERLEY, Open Mic Night, 8.30pm, Free

To get your filthy paws on a copy, tell us why you’re going to be disappointed this Christmas. Best answers win games - you lucky people.

ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

www.skinnymag.co.uk

75, and Kuroneka, TBC, £TBC

RUSH HOUR SOUL PLUS THE 48 AND CHOCYAMO, CAFÉ ROYAL, 8.30pm, £5

SORREN MACLEAN , WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE COMPLETE STONE ROSES, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7.30pm, £10

THE HUSTLERS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

SATURDAY 9TH DECEMBER

PRIVATE JACKSON PLUS MISS THE OCCUPIER AND THE ROHYPSTERS, CAFÉ ROYAL, 8.30pm, £5 ROOTS MANUVA, CABARET VOLTAIRE, With full live band, see our feature in Beats, TBC, £12

THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD,

SUNDAY 10TH DECEMBER £18.50

HOBO: IN DOG WE TRUST, THE BONGO CLUB, 10pm, Free Before 11.30, £3 after

LEATHER ZOO PLUS TO THE RESCUE, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £4

OATBEANIE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC AFTERNOON, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 3pm, Free

MONDAY 11TH DECEMBER

JUST TURN UP, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE GREAT JAM SESSION, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

TUESDAY 12TH DECEMBER

BAND SHOWCASE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free DUELS , CABARET VOLTAIRE, 8pm, £7 FOLK N’ FRIENDS, THE WAVERLEY, Open Mic Night, 8.30pm, Free

THE BLUETONES, THE LIQUID ROOM, Return of the Britpop captains from yesteryear, 7.30pm, £12 THE SHJQ QUARTET, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

WEDNESDAY 6TH DECEMBER

CHRISTMAS WITH THE RAT PACK, USHER HALL, 8pm,

AIRSPACE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free ANDY M STEWART, PLEASANCE, Edinburgh Folk Club, 8pm, £6 (£5)

RANDY CRAWFORD AND THE JOE SAMPLE TRIO,

See our review of Kiddo’s new EP in Sounds, 6pm, Free

TOMMY SMITH AND ARILD ANDERSEN, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10

THURSDAY 7TH DECEMBER

BABY TIGER ACOUSTIC NIGHT, CAFÉ ROYAL, Includes Andy Lang, Rob St John and Jordan Ogg, 8.30pm, £2 HIGH 5 ALIVE, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 9pm, £4

LITTLE GREEN MACHINE PLUS SCOPE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

COUGAR LOUNGE, Also includes The Ballentines, Harlem

WEDNESDAY 13TH DECEMBER

THE BLUETONES, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £12 THE DAMAGE ROOM PLUS KIDDO, WHISTLE BINKIES,

To be in with a chance of winning, write and tell us how many stars we awarded James Yorkston in the last issue of the Skinny. Deadline for this competition: 4 Dec (so get your skates on).

PETER BJORN AND JOHN, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £10 SHEPHEARD, THE VILLAGE, 8pm, £5 THE SHJQ QUARTET, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

USHER HALL, 7.30pm, £27.50, £24.50

FRIDAY 8TH DECEMBER

BOJWOLB , WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free BOOTLEG BEATLES, USHER HALL, 7.30pm, £22.50-

3pm, Free

launch, 8pm, £TBC

BONGO CLUB, Late night rock n’roll for justified sinners,

MAN’S UNDERWORLD, The finest in cutting edge Scottish

REGULATIONS. THE DEADLINE FOR ENTRIES IS DECEMBER 20TH UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED.

SARA AND THE SNAKES, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, CD

Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free

OPEN MIC AFTERNOON, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD,

HAVE A LOOK FOR MORE SKINNY FREEBIES ONLINE AT WWW.SKINNYMAG.CO.UK, ALONG WITH OUR COMPETITION

change from previous events., 9pm, Free

FREE STUFF

OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue

man makes it two in one night. Also includesThe Closing and them local disco indie cats, OBE, 7.30pm, £7

WILLARD GRANT CONSPIRACY PLUS ROBERT FISHER, CABARET VOLTAIRE, 7pm, £11

by Lewis Hosie

THE BONGO CLUB, 7.30pm, £13

TAIRE, 9pm, £5

United Front, 8pm, £4

COVER DESIGN: LEIGH PEARSON, WWW.LEIGHPEARSON.COM

QUANTIC SOUL ORCHESTRA PLUS SPANKY WILSON,

MADELEINE PEYROUX, THE QUEEN’S HALL, 7pm, £19 MARK MORRISS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Bluetones front-

WASTED NATION, THE THREE TUNS, Plus Down to Kill and

Mike Byrne, Jack Waddington, Cara Buchan, John Brydon, Mirren Daykin, Neil Douglas, Ed Fisher, James Gray, Kristina Milic, Alain Irureta, Lorenzo Dalberto.

BINKIES, 6pm, Free

Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free

THE VIBRATORS PLUS THE ROHYPSTERS, CABARET VOL-

PHOTOGRAPHERS

NIKI KING AND MARCUS FORD, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £10 ONE DAY SPEAKERS PLUS HOLLOW POINT, WHISTLE

LIVE LISTINGS LIVE MUSIC LISTINGS

THE SKINNY

BLISS CREEK PLUS NORTH FOUNDATION, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

£23.50-£19.50

DANCING MICE PLUS THE MESCALITAS, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Also includes Broken Records, 9pm, £4

HOLLOW HEART PARLOUR: BILLY BATES, JESS BRYANT , HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Also includes My Kappa Roots and Son of Thom, 7.30pm, £5

THURSDAY 14TH DECEMBER

DEGRASSI PLUS THE ELECTIC SOUND CONSPIRACY, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Best of the local rock scene,

also features Broken Records, exponents of fine driven country blues, with a cello, 9pm, £4

INDAFUSION PLUS BO DEADLY AND FROTHING MU-

email listings to: listings@skinnymag. co. uk

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS

December 06 ISSUE FIFTEEN

LISTINGS CUS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, 8pm, £4 OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue change from previous events., 9pm, Free

THE 48 PLUS DAVID BEATTIES LUCKY TILE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

THE BABY TIGER OPEN MIC NIGHT, CAFÉ ROYAL, Baby Toget bring the PA, you provide the tunes, 9pm, Free

THE BRIEFS PLUS INSTANT AGONY AND SAD SOCIETY, THE THREE TUNS, 8.30pm, £7 THE GIFT PLUS 5 PARK DRIVE, THE LIQUID ROOM, 7pm, £12

FRIDAY 15TH DECEMBER

WASHINGTON STREET, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free WIRED DESIRE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

SATURDAY 16TH DECEMBER

SATURDAY 23RD DECEMBER

SUNDAY 24TH DECEMBER

OATBEANIE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 3pm,

MONDAY 25TH DECEMBER

TURKEY, YOUR PLACE, Unless your vegan, nevertheless, the Dr Who special will be viewed by many., All Day, Free

TUESDAY 26TH DECEMBER

TURKEY SANGERS, YOUR PLACE, May also include

BABY TIGER/IS THIS MUSIC? XMAS PARTY, CAFÉ

some sort of Indiana Jones viewing., All Day, Free

ROYAL, Featuring Le Reno Amps and Pilotcan, 8.30pm,

WEDNESDAY 27TH DECEMBER

£5

FUNKSPIEL PLUS THE REMNANT KINGS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, 7.30pm, £4

THE RAB HOWAT BAND, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, Weekly house band afternoon slot, 3pm, Free

SUNDAY 17TH DECEMBER

JOHNNY AND THE ENTRIES PLUS GUMMI BAKO’S JUNIOR JUDO, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Girl-Boy DIY Punk plus Fence collectivists, 8pm, £4

OPEN MIC NIGHT, BANNERMAN’S UNDERWORLD, 3pm, Free

SL RECORDS / HOBO XMAS BASH, THE BONGO CLUB, Includes Dawn of the Replicants and Saint Judes Infirmary, see our feature in Sounds, 9pm, Free Before 11pm

MONDAY 18TH DECEMBER

JUST TURN UP, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free OPEN MIC NIGHT, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free THE GREAT JAM SESSION, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

TUESDAY 19TH DECEMBER

BAND SHOWCASE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £6 FOLK N’ FRIENDS, THE WAVERLEY, Open Mic Night, 8.30pm, Free

NORTH SEA GAS, THE VILLAGE, Leith Folk Club, 8pm, £5

STATUS QUO, USHER HALL, Don’t go backstage at a Quo gig pilgrim, on no, do not., 7.30pm, £29 THE SHJQ QUARTET, THE JAZZ BAR, 9.30pm, Free

WEDNESDAY 20TH DECEMBER

THE DRAYMIN PLUS ROCKET FOX, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

EDINBURGH LIVE

THE ALVAS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free THE JONNY FONTAINE BAND PLUS HARLEM 75, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

THURSDAY 28TH DECEMBER

OI POLLOI PLUS THE GIN GOBLINS, HENRY’S CELLAR BAR, Also includes Filthpact, 8pm, £5

OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue change from previous events., 9pm, Free SOMETHING ILLEGAL, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

FRIDAY 29TH DECEMBER

BIG TUNA , WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8.30pm, £6 DIGNAN, DOWELL AND WHITE, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

FAST:THE LEG, THE BONGO CLUB, 11pm, £5 THE BELGRANOS, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free

SATURDAY 30TH DECEMBER

BLACKJACK BLUES BAND, WHISTLE BINKIES, 6pm, Free

SUNDAY 31ST DECEMBER

BIG HAND, WHISTLE BINKIES, Always a ska-punk delight, Midnight, £4

MONDAY 1ST JANUARY

SCO - VIENNESE NEW YEAR CONCERT, USHER HALL, 7pm, £8-£24

TUESDAY 2ND JANUARY

HANDEL’S MESSIAH, USHER HALL, 12pm, £24

WEDNESDAY 3RD JANUARY

NATIONAL YOUTH ORCHESTRA OF SCOTLAND, USHER HALL , 7.30pm, £10-£20

WILLIAM DOUGLAS AND THE WHEEL, THE ALVAS AND VISITOR, THE BONGO, 10pm, Free Before 11.30, £3 after

THURSDAY 21ST DECEMBER

ANDI NEATE PLUS QUIRKUS, CAFÉ ROYAL, 8.30pm, £TBC

OUT OF THE BEDROOM, THE CANON’S GAIT, *Note venue change from previous events., 9pm, Free

THE DELOREANS PLUS BEAKER, WHISTLE BINKIES, Marty! 1.21 gigawatts!, 9pm, Free

WITHOUT MALICE PLUS STARRY WISDOM CULT, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, Free

FRIDAY 22ND DECEMBER

CEILIDH CLUB, THE LOT, 8pm, £6 DA HOOLEY - CEILIDH, ST. BRIDES CENTRE, Adult Learning Project Fundraiser, 8pm, £8 (£5) MISSING CAT, WHISTLE BINKIES, Jamming shennanigans with the ‘cat, 6pm, Free

THE BALLENTINES PLUS 5 PARK DRIVE, WHISTLE BINKIES, 9pm, Free

THE SCARECROWS, WHISTLE BINKIES, Midnight, £4

62 ISSUE FIFTEEN

December 06

YELLOW BOX DENOTES SKINNY HIGHLIGHTS